0:00

Morning.

0:11

Welcome to picking

0:11

teams a podcast that dives into

0:15

the playbooks of seasoned

0:15

coaches. I'm your host. Amy

0:19

Bryant, a 23 year veteran

0:19

college coach and my guests hail

0:23

from the professional college

0:23

and youth ranks. Together, we'll

0:27

share real stories from our

0:27

coaching experiences to empower

0:31

you as parents to be positive

0:31

forces in your child sports

0:35

journey. Our guest today is Christy

0:42

Lynch. Christy is a former

0:46

division one head women's tennis

0:46

coach who currently is the

0:49

director of junior Academy at

0:49

ITA, Atlanta tennis and

0:53

pickleball center. Christy's

0:53

college coaching positions

0:57

include Clemson University,

0:57

Georgia Tech University and

1:01

Emory University. As a college

1:01

player, Christy won the NCAA

1:05

division one team national

1:05

title, and after graduation, she

1:10

played on the professional tour.

1:10

Today's play is feed them a

1:14

sandwich. Christy and I will

1:14

discuss the similarities between

1:18

coaching and parenting while

1:18

sharing tips for finding a

1:21

transformational experience for

1:21

our kids in sports.

1:32

All right, so Christy, tell me

1:32

about your college coaching

1:36

journey.

1:37

Yeah, you know

1:37

it's it's been a long one that's

1:40

for sure. Yeah, it started over

1:40

a decade ago. You know, I had a

1:45

great college experience as a

1:45

player, and I quickly, you know,

1:52

thought that college coaching

1:52

would be something that I would

1:54

like to pursue as a career, and

1:54

my teammates, honestly, all

1:59

thought that I would be a

1:59

college attendance coach. So

2:01

it's kind of funny that it

2:01

happened. I kind of went that

2:05

direction, but, yeah, I stayed

2:05

in Atlanta. I graduated from

2:10

Georgia Tech. Played four years

2:10

at Georgia Tech. I started

2:15

teaching right out of college,

2:15

and was was playing some pro

2:18

tournaments as well. And, you

2:18

know, really fell in love with

2:21

coaching and helping other

2:21

people. Something that I was

2:24

really passionate about working

2:24

with juniors was was really

2:31

gratifying for me. My journey

2:31

really started as a volunteer

2:37

coach. Met Georgia Tech again

2:37

about a decade ago, and I still

2:44

remember my first match as a

2:44

volunteer, and it was against

2:47

Georgia, our arch rival, and I

2:47

think we lost it for three but

2:53

after the match, I remember, you

2:53

know, thinking to myself, like

2:57

how much I really loved coaching

2:57

out there and continuing on that

3:03

season, and when it ended,

3:03

that's when we met. I remember I

3:09

had reached out to you at Emory,

3:09

there was an assistant coaching

3:14

position that was open, or maybe

3:14

you had reached out to me. I

3:16

really can't remember what

3:16

happened, but I remember we had

3:20

had lunch, and, you know, we

3:20

just hit it off. And it was

3:25

great because I was able to

3:25

start my career at Emory with

3:29

you as an assistant coach. And

3:29

so, yeah, that second year I

3:35

started as an assistant at

3:35

Emory, and it was a great

3:39

foundation for me and learning

3:39

the kind of the ins and outs of

3:44

college coaching and and working

3:44

with college athletes a lot

3:49

different than playing, that's

3:49

for sure. But yeah, we had an

3:52

absolutely great team that year,

3:52

great leadership on that team.

3:59

So, you know, just a great

3:59

experience at Emory with you,

4:03

learning so much. And then I

4:03

moved on. I went back to my alma

4:09

mater the following year with

4:09

coach, Rodney Harmon, just

4:15

another great mentor of mine,

4:15

and we really built the program

4:21

back to, you know, talk to vying

4:21

for national championship type

4:26

program, kind of similar to when

4:26

I was a player there. But you

4:32

know, I, you know, have so many

4:32

great memories from my time as

4:36

an assistant coach at Georgia

4:36

Tech. And, you know, after seven

4:40

years I, you know, covid hit, I

4:40

had my first daughter. And, you

4:46

know, I had an opportunity to

4:46

become a head coach at Clemson

4:50

University, ACC conference. And,

4:50

you know, I it was a tough

4:56

decision, and I decided to take

4:56

the risk and go for it. So I

5:03

again, I learned so much there

5:03

at Clemson. And, you know,

5:07

grateful for my time there, but

5:07

happy to be back here in Atlanta

5:12

and working with juniors. And

5:12

just absolutely love coaching.

5:16

So

5:17

awesome. You're so

5:17

great. You have so much great

5:20

energy. And I wish everyone

5:20

could see you, because, like

5:24

when you, it was you that

5:24

reached out to me back before we

5:28

started working at Emory. And I

5:28

remember when I first walked in,

5:33

we went to lunch at Panera,

5:33

yeah, and this is back in what,

5:36

2013 maybe,

5:37

yeah, 2013 2013

5:37

and I just walked

5:41

in, and I saw you,

5:41

and I saw your little blonde bun

5:44

on top of your head, which is

5:44

kind of Christy's signature

5:48

hairdo, and and she in this big

5:48

grin on her face, and she just

5:53

has so much positive energy to

5:53

share, which is why I think your

5:58

teammates, way back then knew

5:58

that you were destined to be a

6:02

college coach, I mean, and what

6:02

you did share with listeners is

6:06

that your team won the national

6:06

title at Georgia Tech division

6:10

one national title Georgia

6:10

Tech's first and only national

6:14

title, still to this day, and

6:14

Christy was a very important

6:18

part of that team. So we have a

6:18

real celebrity on podcast today.

6:27

What would you say is your

6:27

fondest coaching memory?

6:31

You know, I've had so many great coaching memories on and off the court,

6:33

but I would say, you know, great

6:38

things take time. You know, when

6:38

I started at Georgia Tech, it

6:41

was, again, super challenging

6:41

that first year as an assistant

6:45

with with Rodney. We, you know,

6:45

went through so many ups and

6:49

downs and you know, our goal of

6:49

bringing that team back to, you

6:54

know, national title contention.

6:54

It took about four years when

7:00

those girls that came in as

7:00

freshmen, their growth over

7:04

those four years was really

7:04

remarkable. And so at the end on

7:09

that in that fourth year was the

7:09

year that our team went on to,

7:15

you know, reach number two in

7:15

the country. We went on a run in

7:19

the NCAA tournament to the semi

7:19

finals. And I think those two

7:26

matches, the round of 16 match

7:26

versus Pepperdine in the

7:30

quarterfinal match against UCLA,

7:30

those two wins were probably

7:35

some of the best tennis matches,

7:35

college tennis matches that I've

7:39

ever been a part of like as a

7:39

player or coach, and it just the

7:43

amount of team spirit and fight

7:43

and unity, perseverance that the

7:50

team showed was so incredible.

7:50

And you know, it's just, you

7:56

can't put a price on that. Those

7:56

memories were really incredible

7:59

for me as a coach, because it

7:59

wasn't just that year. It was a

8:03

culmination of the players

8:03

before and the hard work that it

8:07

took those years leading up to

8:07

that, that one year that you

8:13

could really see transformation

8:13

in your players, and just the

8:17

leadership and maturity that

8:17

had, you know, over time, really

8:24

transformed in our players. And

8:24

then also, I would say I had a

8:29

player. Mean, Georgia Tech is

8:29

not an easy school, but we had a

8:34

player reach back. She, you

8:34

know, graduated. It was, it was

8:38

tough. She was the first person

8:38

in her family to graduate from

8:43

college, and you know, not just

8:43

to graduate from college, but

8:48

you know, institution like

8:48

Georgia Tech, is an unbelievable

8:51

accomplishment, and it was not

8:51

easy for her those four years.

8:55

There were times when, you know,

8:55

we didn't know if she was going

8:59

to make it, and this was really

8:59

not the right place, so just

9:04

looking back over that and to

9:04

get that email and message from

9:09

her was special, and that's

9:09

something a degree that you know

9:15

they will take with them for the

9:15

rest of their life. Wow, it's

9:19

really

9:20

empowering to hear

9:20

you talk about your fondest

9:23

memories and how it's not all

9:23

about the wins, is it? It's it's

9:28

about, you know, seeing these

9:28

players develop and to use your

9:31

words transform. And those are

9:31

the things we remember as

9:36

coaches. We don't always we you

9:36

know, it's not always the wins

9:39

and the losses that really stick

9:39

with us. I think also something

9:43

that you mentioned, I want to

9:43

point out to our parents is the

9:47

emphasis on development over a

9:47

full four years, right? There's

9:53

an argument there for our

9:53

student athletes to stay in

9:58

their current programs no matter

9:58

what bumps they encounter along

10:02

the way, because the

10:02

transformation to use that word

10:07

again occurs over a longer

10:07

period of time, and sustaining

10:12

those bumps or overcoming those

10:12

obstacles really is, is what

10:17

it's all about. But when our

10:17

student athletes jump into

10:20

something like the transfer

10:20

portal and try to leave because

10:24

they're unhappy. They're not

10:24

learning how to overcome

10:27

adversity in any way, shape or

10:27

form. And so I think that that's

10:31

an important lesson for all

10:31

families who are considering

10:37

playing college sports at any

10:37

level, to remember that this is

10:43

about much more than the wins

10:43

and losses. This is about

10:46

development holistically, and to

10:46

get that development there needs

10:50

to be some sort of commitment to

10:50

staying in one place for a

10:54

sustained period of time. Let's

10:54

talk about your recruiting

10:59

process at both Georgia Tech.

10:59

You helped me with recruiting at

11:05

Emory, you were completely

11:05

responsible for recruiting at

11:09

Clemson. I know you recruited

11:09

some great international players

11:12

there, so talk to me a little

11:12

bit about your recruiting

11:15

process. Just so families know

11:15

absolutely

11:19

you know I

11:19

remember being a 16 year old

11:23

junior player. I think that's

11:23

when I started to really, really

11:28

look into college tennis, and I

11:28

just took the responsibility

11:33

into my own hands. I kept tabs

11:33

on the college matches, the

11:39

rankings and things of that

11:39

nature. And then I noticed, in

11:44

the spring of I was a junior in

11:44

high school, you know, that

11:49

Georgia Tech had, you know,

11:49

started to really make some

11:53

waves in the rankings. And I

11:53

remember my mom telling me, she

11:57

said, Well, you know, Brian

11:57

Shelton is the head coach there.

12:00

He's He's also from Alabama. I'm

12:00

from Alabama as well. And so I

12:06

reached out to him myself and

12:06

let him know that I was

12:11

interested in Georgia Tech and

12:11

learning more about the school,

12:16

and you know his coaching

12:16

philosophy, and you know what,

12:20

what they could offer. And he

12:20

responded immediately. So we

12:25

connected right away. It just

12:25

happened to be that I was

12:29

graduating a year early from

12:29

high school, and you know, I

12:34

think that's important to know,

12:34

is that when the student athlete

12:39

initiates contact first, I think

12:39

it sets a really good impression

12:42

on the head coach, and it helps

12:42

that relationship between the

12:48

head coach and the student

12:48

athlete develop naturally,

12:52

without the parent kind of

12:52

taking the forefront, and things

12:57

just kind of escalated from

12:57

there. He drove over with his

13:00

family in a minivan, his wife

13:00

and two kids, son, Ben Shelton,

13:06

who's, you know, a top pro on

13:06

the tour now, he was only, I

13:10

think, maybe two years old then.

13:10

So they came over to my house

13:14

during the spring, which, you

13:14

know, all head coaches know,

13:18

that's a big commitment, because

13:18

the spring is super busy, and I

13:23

met with him and my in the den

13:23

of my house with my my brother,

13:28

who had come home from college

13:28

for the weekend, and remember,

13:32

my mom made him a sandwich, and

13:32

we just had a Great

13:37

conversation. And you know, I

13:37

absolutely loved Brian, and he

13:43

watched my brother and I hit at

13:43

our neighborhood courts, and I

13:47

just knew that I really wanted

13:47

to go to Georgia Tech to play

13:51

for him. And I knew that, you

13:51

know, the goals that I had. I

13:55

possibly wanted to play

13:55

professional tennis, but I knew

13:59

that I wanted to be a part of a

13:59

program that could, you know,

14:03

achieve something really special

14:03

for the first time. And you

14:07

know, I could see that, you

14:07

know, his team was really

14:10

starting to take momentum, and I

14:10

felt that with his leadership,

14:15

his coaching, that you know, our

14:15

team could win a national

14:19

championship. And you know, on

14:19

top of that, Georgia Tech is an

14:22

incredible academic institution.

14:22

You know, I was looking for

14:27

education that, you know, beyond

14:27

my playing career could serve me

14:31

well. And it really ticked all

14:31

the boxes for me. I love being

14:35

in a city with lots of people.

14:35

Love that type of energy. And

14:40

then I drove over to meet the

14:40

team and watch them compete.

14:46

They were hosting first and

14:46

second round of NCAA for the

14:49

first time, and the type of

14:49

girls that were on the team were

14:54

just incredible. You know, I had

14:54

dinner with them, and just

14:58

really loved the energy of the

14:58

girls and the culture that was

15:04

there, and I just I didn't go on

15:04

any other visits. I was really

15:11

knew what I wanted, and couldn't

15:11

wait to become a yellow jacket

15:15

so that it was very simple for

15:15

me. I didn't go on all these

15:19

visits and meet all these

15:19

coaches. I just knew right then

15:23

that, you know, this is where I

15:23

was going, and I wanted to help

15:29

Georgia Tech win championships

15:29

and hopefully play some pro

15:33

tennis afterwards. But, yeah, as

15:33

a college coach, I felt that

15:38

recruiting was one of my strong

15:38

suits. I really enjoy meeting

15:43

people, and I love learning

15:43

about, you know, what, what

15:47

student athletes are interested

15:47

in. I love hearing about their

15:52

junior tennis journey. And I

15:52

think the most important thing

15:56

with recruiting is really trying

15:56

to find the right fit for the

16:02

student athlete, and you know,

16:02

the school, and it doesn't mean

16:07

that you're not a right coach

16:07

for them. It's really important

16:11

to make sure it fits right on

16:11

both ends. You know, is this

16:16

student athlete? Are they going

16:16

to be competing in your lineup?

16:20

You know, are they the type of

16:20

person with the values that you

16:25

want to have in your program? Do

16:25

those values align? Is this, you

16:32

know, player? Do they have the

16:32

type of characteristics that are

16:36

going to, you know, maybe not

16:36

right away, but will they, you

16:39

know, help enhance the the other

16:39

teammates that are already on

16:44

your team. So there's so many

16:44

things that come into play with

16:50

recruiting, and you know,

16:50

ultimately it has to be the

16:55

right fit on both ends. And you

16:55

know, the student athlete really

16:59

needs to do their due diligence.

16:59

Because, again, it's, it's not

17:04

just four years. It's, you know,

17:04

the next 40 years, it's, it's,

17:09

you know the these teammates are

17:09

going to be your friends for

17:12

life. You know this degree will

17:12

take you. You know your path is,

17:18

you know, a lot determined by

17:18

where you go to college. And

17:23

again, I think it's, you know,

17:23

one of the biggest struggles

17:27

that have kind of happened the

17:27

past couple years is the

17:30

transfer portal and how easy it

17:30

is for a student athlete who's,

17:35

you know, 18 to 22 years old is

17:35

is still very young. And I think

17:40

you know that age student

17:40

athletes go through so many

17:45

difficult times, and it's really

17:45

easy to kind of think the grass

17:49

is greener somewhere else, and

17:49

there's a lot of value in

17:54

sticking with something. And you

17:54

know, the loyalty that is shown

18:00

from that me means a lot. And

18:00

it's not to say that, you know,

18:05

I'm, I'm, there are certain

18:05

situations where maybe the

18:08

transferring is the right

18:08

option. I'm not saying that's

18:12

not, you know, always a bad

18:12

thing, but it's certainly

18:16

become, you know, very easy. And

18:16

you know, you see players

18:22

graduate or attending multiple

18:22

teams and universities, and you

18:26

know, it's to me just, you know,

18:26

it's tough to see. I think you

18:31

know, as coaches, we try to

18:31

teach values of, you know,

18:36

commitment and loyalty and

18:36

perseverance, and that kind of

18:42

goes against those values.

18:46

Yeah, that's really,

18:46

really well said. And I want to

18:49

point out a couple things that

18:49

you mentioned. I mean, from the

18:52

beginning of you answering that

18:52

question, the first thing you

18:55

said is you reached out to Brian

18:55

like you're the one that took

18:58

the initiative to do that, and

18:58

you were a top ranked Junior in

19:02

this country like you know,

19:02

you're a very good tennis

19:05

player, so even the best

19:05

athletes have to advocate for

19:10

themselves in the recruiting

19:10

process. So you are a testament

19:13

to that. And the other thing I

19:13

want to point out is that Brian

19:17

responded immediately to you

19:17

coaches know what they're

19:21

looking for. When they receive

19:21

an email from a prospective

19:25

student athlete, they know

19:25

exactly what rank you're looking

19:28

for, they know exactly what club

19:28

team they're looking for, what

19:32

level they're looking for, they

19:32

know exactly what times they're

19:35

looking for, no matter what the

19:35

sport, they know what they're

19:38

looking for, and if they see it

19:38

when you reach out, they will

19:41

respond. That's not to say that

19:41

you shouldn't be persistent in

19:46

reaching out, but at some point

19:46

after you've given it two or

19:49

three tries, it's probably time

19:49

to recognize that, oh, this

19:53

coach isn't interested in me.

19:53

Maybe I am not meeting the

19:57

standards that this coach has

19:57

set for his or her program. So,

20:02

yeah, I mean again, hats off to

20:02

you, Christy for being as

20:06

awesome as you are and just

20:06

being able to send that one

20:09

email to a coach and getting him

20:09

to drive up in his minivan with

20:13

his whole family. Yeah, all it

20:13

takes is feeding him a sandwich

20:18

and you're in.

20:19

I did call him as

20:19

well and and I was really hoping

20:23

he would pick up, because as a

20:23

16 year old, leaving a voicemail

20:27

is like the most experience. But

20:27

I did manage to leave a

20:31

voicemail, and he did call me

20:31

back. So that was good.

20:37

Did they have email back then? We

20:38

had email. Yes,

20:38

he did. We had email, I think it

20:42

was like, just after the AOL,

20:42

you know, oh my god, housing for

20:49

2005

20:50

maybe that's

20:50

awesome. I love it. I also

20:53

really like how you're talking

20:53

about the fit on both ends of

20:57

the spectrum there, the coach

20:57

has to feel like you're going to

21:00

be a good fit for their program,

21:00

and you have to feel like the

21:04

coach and the team are a good

21:04

fit for you, because if they're

21:08

not, then you won't flourish in

21:08

the way that you have the

21:12

potential to flourish and thrive

21:12

when you're in college. So my

21:18

advice to our listeners and to

21:18

our families, is to make sure

21:21

that you really do some

21:21

significant investigation into

21:26

the team cultures and the

21:26

coaching dynamics to make sure

21:29

that they are a good fit for

21:29

your child and for your family,

21:33

so that your child can thrive

21:33

like Christy clearly thrive At

21:38

Georgia Tech. And then I also

21:38

really enjoyed how you took your

21:44

experience at Georgia Tech into

21:44

your future, future recruiting,

21:49

and how much you enjoy talking

21:49

to people, because I do think

21:53

that is an essential piece of

21:53

that recruiting process, and we

21:57

do see coaches that are not

21:57

people people, but yet they're

22:06

still able to be successful in

22:06

recruiting. So it's not an

22:09

essential qualification for a

22:09

coach to enjoy talking to people

22:14

and be really social, but you

22:14

know, there is still a way for

22:19

those coaches to be successful

22:19

in their recruiting, they might

22:23

just do things a little bit

22:23

differently. So again, every

22:27

coach's style might not be the

22:27

right style for you, so finding

22:32

the coach that has the right

22:32

style often presents itself in

22:37

the recruiting process. What

22:37

when you were recruiting at the

22:43

colleges that you were coaching

22:43

at, what was an immediate turn

22:47

off to you in recruiting,

22:49

you know, first

22:49

of all, you want to make sure

22:51

the the player can play the

22:51

level, you know, it's, it's,

22:56

it's really that's kind of like

22:56

that first funnel, like, you

22:59

know, this, this player has to

22:59

have, you know, a certain level

23:03

of play that's going to be, you

23:03

know, meet the criteria. Maybe

23:08

they're a great person, you

23:08

know, would be a great teammate,

23:11

but this is just not the right

23:11

school for you. So first,

23:14

playing level, and then second,

23:14

you know, I would say, you know,

23:19

parents reaching out first is

23:19

kind of a turn off for me. I

23:24

like when the student athlete

23:24

takes that initiative, when

23:29

student athletes take a really

23:29

long time to respond to

23:32

messages. That's another one.

23:32

You know, I like, you know, an

23:38

assertive a student athlete or a

23:38

player that shows that they're,

23:44

you know, interested is going to

23:44

respond, not immediately, but in

23:49

a time frame that's, you know,

23:49

pretty short. And then another

23:54

turn off is when a high school

23:54

or a junior player doesn't ask a

24:00

lot of questions. I see a lot of

24:00

times, you know, or I'll be on

24:05

the phone, or they'll come on a

24:05

visit, and, you know, they're,

24:08

they don't, don't ask a whole

24:08

lot of questions. Or the

24:11

questions maybe they ask are not

24:11

about tennis, or that's not a

24:17

very good sign, at least for the

24:17

programs that I was a part of,

24:23

you want to find those kids that

24:23

show an interest in the things

24:27

that are important to you. And

24:27

you know, academics, number one,

24:33

number two, tennis, making sure

24:33

that this this player really

24:37

loves the sport is important.

24:37

And then also leadership skills,

24:43

you know, responding

24:43

immediately, showing respect.

24:47

You know, I'd see a junior

24:47

player at a tournament and the

24:51

way that they communicate with

24:51

their parents off the court. You

24:55

know, those are the little

24:55

things that I would look at. You

24:58

know, just their mannerisms on

24:58

court and eye contact just when

25:03

I'm talking with that junior

25:03

player. Something as simple as

25:07

that would be a huge turn off

25:07

for me. So yeah, lots of little

25:12

things, but those are a few.

25:14

Those are really,

25:14

really helpful, and I can vouch

25:18

for all of them. I mean, I

25:18

talked to a lot of coaches, and

25:21

I've worked with a lot of

25:21

coaches, and 100% of them say

25:24

that their number one turn off

25:24

is when a parent reaches out to

25:27

them first. So you know the if

25:27

you take one from this podcast,

25:32

it's that parents like your job

25:32

is to be the chauffeur, drive

25:36

your kids to the matches or the

25:36

games or wherever, and then

25:40

everything else rests on the

25:40

shoulders of your child. And if

25:44

you're struggling to get your

25:44

child to do the reaching out,

25:47

then I think you probably need

25:47

to dig a little bit deeper into

25:50

what's behind that. And you

25:50

know, sometimes it's just that a

25:54

kid is really nervous about it.

25:54

Maybe they're shy, and that's

25:57

okay. I mean, Christy, would you

25:57

say that if you had that player

26:01

who was, you know, really,

26:01

really good, so they've checked

26:04

that talent box, but they are

26:04

really, really shy, and they

26:07

struggle to look you in the eye,

26:07

or they struggle to ask all of

26:11

those questions. You know, they

26:11

struggle to really, like, form a

26:14

good conversation with you.

26:14

Would you? Could you look past

26:17

that? If you knew they were a

26:17

good kid? They have the

26:20

character they respect their

26:20

parents when you're watching

26:23

them, you know, could you look

26:23

past that? Because they're such

26:26

a good player, and you hope that

26:26

they're going to develop and

26:30

come out of their shell at this point?

26:32

Absolutely,

26:32

absolutely. And to be honest,

26:35

you know, when I converse with a

26:35

junior player, they come on a

26:39

visit and they are a little shy.

26:39

I actually like that. I mean, it

26:43

shows that they really care. You

26:43

know, sometimes a junior player

26:48

would come in and be, you know,

26:48

super cocky, and, you know, on

26:54

their phone. And, you know,

26:54

sometimes the junior that's a

26:58

little bit shy at first is a

26:58

good thing, and for sure, it's

27:04

something that you could

27:04

definitely look past.

27:07

Yeah, good. That's

27:07

good to hear. But I also think

27:11

it is something that our kids

27:11

can prepare for. I mean, they

27:16

are so ingrained into their cell

27:16

phone and to technology these

27:20

days that their communication

27:20

skills aren't always the

27:23

strongest, and really, this is

27:23

their first like job interview.

27:27

So would you ever go into a job

27:27

interview cold without preparing

27:31

some questions to ask no but

27:31

that might not be something that

27:35

is in their frame of reference

27:35

that they're thinking. So they

27:38

need a little bit of prep. And

27:38

parents, that's something that

27:40

you can do. You can prep your

27:40

kids with some Q and A to get

27:45

them prepared for an interview

27:45

and make sure that they have at

27:48

least three questions prepared

27:48

to ask the coach when they're

27:51

talking. And that can help like

27:51

that preparation can help snap

27:54

some of that shyness and that

27:54

nervousness away as well. What

28:00

would you say is the most

28:00

frustrating thing that you've

28:06

dealt with as a college coach?

28:09

That's a good

28:09

question. I I mean, there's a

28:13

lot of frustrating things as a

28:13

college coach, but I would go

28:17

back to the, you know, the rules

28:17

with the transfer portal that

28:23

that's been kind of a

28:23

frustrating thing the past

28:25

couple years, and then the N i l

28:25

collective, or the N i l stuff,

28:33

kids are more interested and, or

28:33

seem to be more interested in

28:36

What they can get, like

28:36

materialistic things, versus,

28:42

you know, what? What am I

28:42

getting out of this experience,

28:46

besides, you know, scholarship

28:46

or dollars, you know, I think

28:51

going back to, you know, college

28:51

athletics and the value of, you

28:58

know, being a part of a team and

28:58

the things that you learn from

29:03

that student athlete experience

29:03

go way beyond you know how many

29:08

nil dollars you know you can

29:08

make, or, you know, if this

29:14

isn't, you know, the best

29:14

experience I've ever had in my

29:17

life. Year one, you know, where

29:17

am I going to go? Year two,

29:21

just, you know, that type of

29:21

thing is really frustrating, and

29:26

you know, the society and our

29:26

culture now there's a lot of

29:30

instant gratification, you know,

29:30

get instantly and that's

29:35

something that you know, you

29:35

kind of see more of in high

29:41

school students is, you know,

29:41

wanting things right away. And I

29:44

think we touched on that

29:44

earlier, making sure that they

29:49

understand that things take

29:49

time, and that's really

29:52

important, or great things take

29:52

time. So, yeah, I think it was

29:57

Nick Saban. He said, You want to

29:57

be happy for a day, go get ice

30:01

cream. But if you want to be

30:01

happy for a life, you know,

30:06

you've got to it takes time,

30:06

hard work every single day, and

30:13

you know, sometimes the

30:13

difficult, challenging times

30:17

make it all worthwhile.

30:19

Yeah, that's really,

30:19

really great advice, and I can

30:22

totally connect with that,

30:22

because today, my 17 year old

30:27

came home from soccer practice

30:27

and he was in a horrible mood. I

30:33

asked him, what happened? He's

30:33

like, our team sucks. Nobody's

30:38

playing well, I should be

30:38

playing a different position,

30:41

this, that and the other. And

30:41

he's usually a pretty positive

30:44

and, you know, upbeat kid, and

30:44

he was really, really, really,

30:48

just negative about the whole

30:48

thing. And here's his team.

30:52

They're heading to nationals in

30:52

a month. You know, they're a

30:54

good team, so they had a bad

30:54

day. But my first thought as a

30:58

parent, you know, I'm guilty of

30:58

this too, this instant

31:01

gratification, because we want

31:01

to make our kids happy. We don't

31:04

like to see them in this way.

31:04

And my first thought was, ooh,

31:10

is there another team that he

31:10

can transfer to before we get to

31:13

Nationals so he can play with a

31:13

stronger team and and then I had

31:17

to just check myself and remind

31:17

myself that that's absolute

31:21

nonsense that has been with this

31:21

team for the last four years. He

31:25

loves these boys. He loves this

31:25

coach, and just because they've

31:28

had a bad day doesn't mean that

31:28

there's something that needs to

31:32

be fixed. So as parents, we

31:32

really need to continue to do

31:38

that. And like I said, I'm

31:38

guilty too, but we need to check

31:41

ourselves and just make sure

31:41

that we're not contributing to

31:45

this instant gratification that

31:45

the kids are expecting

31:49

Absolutely.

31:50

Yeah, I think

31:50

that the parent voice is so

31:53

important. And you know, that's

31:53

why you know your junior coach,

32:00

and that's, you know, I'm

32:00

coaching Junior Tennis now, and

32:03

it's, it's almost, you know,

32:03

important to help coach your

32:06

your junior parents as well,

32:06

yeah, because, you know, at the

32:10

end of the day, they're that the

32:10

one of the, if not the biggest

32:14

influence on the student

32:14

athlete.

32:17

Absolutely, yeah.

32:17

And I definitely want to come

32:20

back and talk to another time

32:20

about about how to help parents

32:25

of junior tennis players now

32:25

that you're coaching junior

32:28

tennis players, because I know

32:28

you've got a lot of wisdom to

32:30

share with us there, but before

32:30

we end today, I have one

32:35

question for you, and kind of

32:35

circles back to Brian driving up

32:38

in his minivan then, to recruit

32:38

you. But now that you're a

32:44

parent and you have young

32:44

daughter, How has being a coach

32:50

influenced your parenting style

32:50

with her as she begins her foray

32:56

into sports? Yeah, it's

32:58

that's a great

32:58

question. You know, it's amazing

33:01

how similar coaching and

33:01

parenting really are. That's one

33:06

thing that I've noticed. And,

33:06

you know, I've also been able to

33:10

kind of put myself in the

33:10

apparent shoes of a junior that

33:14

I'm coaching. And like you said,

33:14

it's so painful to see your

33:18

child unhappy or in, in, you

33:18

know, crying. Or, you know, I

33:23

have a four year old, so she

33:23

cries over everything. I kind of

33:28

learned to, like, you know,

33:28

block it out sometimes. But, you

33:32

know, she's doing swimming right

33:32

now. We've started soccer. We're

33:36

doing a little bit of tennis.

33:36

And, you know, I think it was

33:40

maybe, like, her second soccer

33:40

practice. I, you know, I took

33:44

her out there. I'm, you know,

33:44

how I am. I'm like, go out there

33:47

and score all the goals, even

33:47

though you're four. But yeah,

33:50

she went out there and for, I

33:50

think, 2530 minutes, she was

33:55

just doing like, circles on the

33:55

field and, like playing with

33:59

butterflies. I, I had to, like,

33:59

hold myself back. And, you know,

34:04

my husband is also a coach as

34:04

well. And you know, we're just

34:10

like, let her be. You know, when

34:10

she's ready, she will jump out

34:16

there and go for the ball and

34:16

and it happens. You know, you

34:20

see it, I think there's a

34:20

balance of, like, nudging and

34:24

just making sure they're having

34:24

fun when they're young is really

34:29

important. But, yeah, I think,

34:29

you know, as a as a parent, it

34:36

comes even more like, you know,

34:36

I have some parents say that

34:40

they're, they've really kind of

34:40

guarded their child into playing

34:44

lots of tournaments early

34:44

because they're trying to, like,

34:46

protect their

34:48

emotional state.

34:51

And, you know, I

34:51

think, as a parent, it's, it's

34:55

important to not be a helicopter

34:55

and let your child experience

35:02

things be there for them, but

35:02

make sure that you know they

35:07

learn to, you know, act on their

35:07

own and figure things out on

35:14

their own, and just making sure

35:14

that they, You know, are acting

35:18

appropriate and are being

35:18

respectful and working hard, all

35:24

of those values. But you know,

35:24

at the end of the day, they have

35:28

to, you know, want it for

35:28

themselves, and it's got to come

35:32

from, from them. You know, the

35:32

parent can't want it for them.

35:37

So I think, you know, as a

35:37

parent, just giving them the

35:40

opportunity to experience

35:40

different sports, different

35:45

activities, and guiding them,

35:45

you know, to help figure out

35:50

maybe there's something that

35:50

they enjoy doing, but I think,

35:55

you know, that's the biggest

35:55

thing that I've kind of been

35:57

able to take away, is there's so

35:57

much similarities. And you know

36:02

how influential the parents role

36:02

in the child's success really

36:07

is. It's just huge. Good,

36:12

great. Thank you so

36:12

much for being here today. We

36:14

really enjoyed it. You had a lot

36:14

of great insight to share.

36:17

Thanks,

36:17

Amy, I really

36:17

appreciate it. And, yeah, it's

36:20

been fun. Thanks for having me.

36:27

Thanks for tuning in

36:27

for today's play. Join us next

36:30

time to hear more insights from

36:30

another outstanding coach. Until

36:35

then, remember, as you have the

36:35

ups and downs of your child

36:39

sports journey, you're building

36:39

character, fostering resilience

36:45

and creating lifelong memories.