0:00

Hey everyone and welcome to this week's

0:02

episode of Plumbing the Death Star. I'm

0:04

Joe. I'm Jackson and I'm also Joe.

0:06

Plumbing the Death Star is a comedy

0:08

pop culture podcast that asks the important

0:11

questions like, how would you change a

0:13

Leopard's spots? So that's right, it's a

0:15

fucked one. So

0:27

the leopard, the famous quote. Yeah,

0:29

a leopard, you can't change, a

0:31

leopard can't change its, never change

0:33

its spots. A leopard never changes

0:35

its spots? A leopard can't change

0:38

its spots? Yeah, okay. Do you

0:40

want the, uh, little look? Yeah.

0:42

I'll go to media machine. This

0:44

is medium machine. Get out your

0:46

medium machine. You know, we say

0:48

it speaking off. It's a little

0:50

machine as you phone, medium machine

0:53

is the laptop. What's a big

0:55

machine. Computer? Oh, big computer.

0:57

TV? TV is a big machine. I

0:59

wouldn't call TV a big machine. It's

1:01

a TV-time thing. Yeah, that's a TV.

1:04

I was hoping that this would be

1:06

interesting. Yeah. I mean, unless you've like

1:08

hooked up your, I guess, tower, to

1:11

a TV monitor. That's, yeah. Maybe that's

1:13

the biggest machine. Yeah. I guess if

1:15

you got your little tower and then

1:17

like, you know, broke into IMAX, yeah,

1:20

and hooked that up and started like,

1:22

you know, streaming, whatever it is that

1:24

you were wanting. Yeah. Yeah. That is

1:27

maybe new. Talking big machine. Big machine.

1:29

Yeah, yeah, biggest machine. Huge. Huge machine.

1:31

Huge machine. It turns out that it's just

1:33

a leopard can never change its spots.

1:36

It's either can't or doesn't change its

1:38

spots. Okay. That's funny because there's

1:40

a big difference there, I think. Yeah.

1:42

If it can't change its spots. It might

1:45

be trying. Yeah. Now, we're imagining we find

1:47

the leopard, you know, in a jungle on safari.

1:49

Yeah. And we're like, yeah, at the back in the

1:51

studio. Yeah. We try to buy a, you know, you

1:53

try to buy a new shipment, you know, you know,

1:55

you know, you know, you know, you, you, you know,

1:57

you, you, you, you, you, you know, you, you, you,

1:59

you know, daisies. And the

2:01

first thing we think is not,

2:03

oh boy, time to die. No!

2:05

It's... I want this weapon to

2:08

change its guidance. Well, it's crazy,

2:10

because at the moment, there's... Yes?

2:12

I was gonna say, it's crazy

2:14

at the moment, there's like two

2:16

leopard things floating around. We're talking

2:18

about leopards a lot at the

2:20

moment? Not us plumbing the dust,

2:22

yeah. Ask the internet, are we?

2:24

What do we say about leopards?

2:26

Because there's like, there's, so there's

2:28

a leopard, a leopard never changes

2:30

its spots, which has been, a

2:32

leopard never changes its spots. I'm

2:34

talking fast because I'm drinking full

2:36

sugar Coca-Cola. That is what are

2:38

you, a five-year-old? Yeah, they're a

2:41

hunt company, that wasn't a shout

2:43

out. I'll consume your poison, but

2:45

I'm not going to give you

2:47

a free shadow. I'll promote your

2:49

poison. The CEO of Kirk should

2:51

be in prison, and most of

2:53

the employees directly underneath him should

2:55

also be in prison, and the

2:57

company should be in a big

2:59

hole. That's my feelings of Coca-Cola.

3:01

Got in hell. Anyway, delicious drink,

3:03

right now. Yes, yeah. A leopard

3:05

never changes its spots. And... Oh

3:07

no, leopards ate my face. Oh

3:09

that's true, leopards are in vogue.

3:12

I look, I know I understand

3:14

the idea behind the leopards ate

3:16

my face thing, but I find

3:18

that one deeply annoying. Yeah, but

3:20

I think it's because every time

3:22

stuff like this floats around, the

3:24

left to lose another election. And

3:26

everyone's too busy being like, oh

3:28

no, leop had ate my face.

3:30

Yeah. Do something! No, no, no,

3:32

no. How about I do nothing

3:34

instead? And then I say, hey,

3:36

hey, can you give us a

3:38

mic? Could I have me, but

3:40

look at this guy. He sucks.

3:42

What if I do nothing but

3:45

feel smog? No, no, no, no.

3:47

What if you, though, instead, just

3:49

gave me some money, though? Yeah.

3:51

Hiller Clinton needs money. I want

3:53

a t-shirt that just says that

3:55

Hillary Clinton needs money. I said

3:57

I was such like a mouthful,

3:59

you're good. Also I was really

4:01

like, really like kind of dead

4:03

Ben, Hillary Clinton needs money. We

4:05

should start throwing shoes at the

4:07

president again. That guy that went

4:09

to prison had a right. Uh-huh.

4:11

Uh-huh. Hillary clipped in this money.

4:13

He sure does. You're right, Jackson.

4:16

Hillary Clinton, dude, does need money.

4:18

That's giving me the giggles way

4:20

too bad. I think it's because

4:22

I'm imagining that like, the scenario

4:24

in my head is that the

4:26

Clinton, like it's 2016, and as

4:28

like a part of the campaign,

4:30

they've paid me in an advertising

4:32

company, way too much money, and

4:34

the ad is just my face,

4:36

but the camera's like, it's like

4:38

just the top of my shoulders

4:40

in my head, then heaps of

4:42

empty space on the top. And

4:44

I say. Hillary Clifton needs money.

4:46

And then it just goes up,

4:49

I'm with her. Yeah, I think

4:51

it's funny to me as well,

4:53

because there seems to be some,

4:55

like, like, I don't understand why?

4:57

I don't know why I'm doing

4:59

this? Oh, fuck. Anyway, yes, so,

5:01

um, a lapid. First of all,

5:03

what is a lapid? Well, but

5:05

which kind? But which kind? What

5:07

do you mean? Because it's a

5:09

leopard one of those. So you

5:11

know how there's like, it's a

5:13

Leo Pard. Yeah, but you know

5:15

how there's like, and I'm about

5:17

to sound either very intelligent or

5:19

very stupid. Oh yeah. It's alright,

5:22

saying Leopod just reminded me of

5:24

a time where I was either

5:26

very clever or very stupid. Yeah.

5:28

I kept reading Kate and Leopold

5:30

to the movie as Kate and

5:32

Leopard and being... spotted from memory?

5:34

Maybe. And so like yeah, it

5:36

was like, oh, it's a leopard

5:38

and then we just kept being

5:40

like leopold. Mmm, like the, um,

5:42

the, well, no, I suppose that,

5:44

let me. No, follow that thought.

5:46

I was going to say that

5:48

thought, go on. An animal in

5:50

old beasties is called the camel

5:53

leopard, which is just a giraffe,

5:55

but everybody back in the day

5:57

because they only heard people talk

5:59

about it. They were like, oh,

6:01

it must be a combination of

6:03

a camel, of a camel under

6:05

a leopard. But I was going

6:07

to say, aren't leopards like Panthers,

6:09

in that it just refers to

6:11

not a specific, like we use

6:13

it for a bunch of different

6:15

big cats, or is that just

6:17

Panthers? Well, the leopard is one

6:19

of the five, uh, uh, uh,

6:21

uh, extent. It was very stupid

6:23

species in the genus Panthera. Okay.

6:26

Pantero? No, Panthera-rod. Mmm. American Company.

6:28

I don't know anything about it.

6:30

Pantero Canal Canal? Panama Canal? Canal?

6:32

Canal? The band. Yeah. Oh yeah.

6:34

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So

6:36

my first thought was getting a

6:38

leopard to change its spots was

6:40

just, just... Let's sit him down

6:42

and have a talk about it.

6:44

Oh yeah. Just ask, sit and

6:46

nicely. Okay, well let's roll play

6:48

this. Okay, hey, leopard, thank you.

6:50

Oh my god. What were you

6:52

expecting? I regret to say, I

6:54

don't need a lip from the

6:57

peanut gallet. You're trying to talk

6:59

to a leopard at the zoo,

7:01

I'm standing and watching it's gonna

7:03

happen, it's a leopard. How'd you

7:05

meant to be an expert? No,

7:07

shut the fuck, shut the fuck,

7:09

shut the fuck, shut the fuck,

7:11

shut, shut, shut, shut, shut, shut,

7:13

shut, shut, shut, let's, let's, left,

7:15

left, left, left, left, left, left,

7:17

left, left, left, left, left, left,

7:19

left, left, left, left, left, left,

7:21

left, left, left, left, right, like,

7:23

like, like, like, like, like, like,

7:25

like, like, like, like, like, like,

7:27

like, like Animals to throw the

7:30

butt. Is that the ones that

7:32

like they can meow? Maybe. I'll

7:34

find it. Crack it open brother.

7:36

It's medium machine time. People are

7:38

going to be like, why is

7:40

he so hesitant? It's because of

7:42

the, before we started recording, I

7:44

was like, I. Can't have my

7:46

laptop open, I will get distracted

7:48

because there is currently steam sales.

7:50

Exactly, but video games would consume.

7:52

I think a cheetah, because I

7:54

think a cheetah can me out.

7:56

One of them is like, oh

7:58

yeah, like it meows like a

8:01

big chaos thing. Yeah. Very cute.

8:03

Anyway. Um, weapon. So your spots

8:05

as they stand, I don't love.

8:07

And I was just wondering if

8:09

for me, you could. make a

8:11

change and just moment you'd probably

8:13

hear like a thud as a

8:15

lion as a leopard trice it

8:17

just like the bars. It's like,

8:19

please. Swiping at you, please. It

8:21

seems like it's going bad for

8:23

you, bro. Where the fucking go

8:25

look at the chips. Where are

8:27

the peanuts? Leave me the fuck

8:29

alone. I'm not, what do I

8:31

look like, the peanut man? I

8:34

walked into that one. You definitely

8:36

look like the Leopard Man. You

8:38

do look like the Peanut Man.

8:40

What do I look like, Mr.

8:42

Peanut or his adult son? Also

8:44

named Mr. Peanut? Isn't the Peanut

8:46

Junior? I don't know. You're talking

8:48

a lot about Peanuts with someone

8:50

who's allegedly not the Peanut Man.

8:52

I'm going to go find the

8:54

Zoo keeper. Oh, Mr. Zoo keeper,

8:56

there's a man here once a

8:58

by- he won't- I'm just trying

9:00

to chat to the fucking leopards.

9:02

You can't- You're allowed to be?

9:04

Do you work at the zoo?

9:07

Here he is, he's following me.

9:09

I don't know who this guy

9:11

is, but he won't show me

9:13

where the peanuts are, and he

9:15

keeps trying to talk to the

9:17

animals. This guy's- You can talk

9:19

to the animals, it's fine. Thank

9:21

you, thank you, so much. Yeah,

9:23

you know, it's not like he's

9:25

going into the... Do you know

9:27

where the peanut is? Yeah, okay,

9:29

do you have a map on

9:31

you? Yeah. Let me bring it

9:33

over here. I'll show you where

9:35

I guess the concession stands up.

9:38

You should be criticizing the way

9:40

I go to the zoo. Brother,

9:42

shut up! I think if we

9:44

went to the zoo for real,

9:46

which we will do one day.

9:48

Well, we're going to, we have

9:50

to, we made a promise, but

9:52

on our sister base of speculation,

9:54

I was staring at... An elephant,

9:56

I'm like, yeah, awesome. No, it

9:58

won't even be that obvious. I'll

10:00

be like, do you want to

10:02

start with the turtles? And you'll

10:04

both be like, start with the

10:06

turtles, let's start slow, go quick.

10:08

Okay, I think this is my

10:11

new speculation. The whole zoo took

10:13

me one more argument about how

10:15

to do the zoo properly. Maybe

10:17

JD will be ridiculed for his

10:19

zoo technique. Could you mean we

10:21

end with the quickest animal? Yeah.

10:23

You know, you know, that's not

10:25

how the zoo is laid out.

10:27

Okay, wait, where do we think?

10:29

Okay, so first we go to

10:31

Portis, then... I'd have to see

10:33

a map. Okay, people are pretty

10:35

slow, I think. No, unless they're

10:37

in the water, then they're quick.

10:39

Yeah, but they're not that quick.

10:42

There's some stuff we can surprise.

10:44

Let's see if we agree on

10:46

this. Okay, the frogs. You don't

10:48

need to see the frogs. Am

10:50

I a Hillsville or am I

10:52

at the Melbourne Zoo? There's frogs

10:54

in Melbourne City? Exactly. Yeah, but

10:56

we, because this is- Wait, what

10:58

kind of frogs? This is fucking

11:00

stepping into dangerous territory. You're gonna

11:02

start being like, first they come

11:04

for the frogs and you say,

11:06

let's not see the frogs. And

11:08

then all of a sudden, then

11:10

they come for the whole reptile

11:12

house and you're like, yeah, fuck

11:15

the reptile house. Okay. Yeah. Hillsville.

11:17

No reptiles. No reptiles in Hillsville.

11:19

Wait, I'm thinking of. Hils of

11:21

Century. Horses. Horses. Horses. Horses. Horses.

11:23

What did they come up to?

11:25

Hills of Sanctuary. Is it the

11:27

one where you're in the car?

11:29

No. You think of where we

11:31

open-range zoo. I am. Which also

11:33

doesn't have horses. There's no zoo!

11:35

And horses! You're thinking of a

11:37

farm, brother. Yeah! What else? Maybe

11:39

a paddock? Are you thinking of

11:41

a paddock? What else can you

11:43

skip at the zoo? You can

11:46

skip some of the big cats?

11:48

Aw, what do you mean? Two's

11:50

well, often feature prososki's horses. The

11:52

only true wild horse species. Well,

11:54

if there's a wild horse, we'll

11:56

go see. Well, it's not a

11:58

wild horse, is it? It's in

12:00

the fucking soup. What's the difference?

12:02

I mean, I wish I could

12:04

show you how this horse is

12:06

spelled. I understand. I just want

12:08

to go. P-R-P-R-S-E-P-Presee-W-A-Presieu-A-Presieu-A-Presoisoisoisoisois- L Prusuow-O-S Prusu-O-L-S-

12:10

Prusu-O-S- Prusow-S- Prusow-S-Pus-S-Pus-O-S-Pus-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-Purs-S-S-S-Pus-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S- I really like

12:12

seeing the zebras at the zoo.

12:14

Oh, fuck the reptiles, but see

12:16

zebras. Nature's fancy horse. Because what

12:19

I like about the zebra is

12:21

you look at it and you

12:23

think, oh, that's just a horse.

12:25

Exactly. But then if you stick

12:27

around, you go, wait a second,

12:29

that's not a horse. It's stripes?

12:31

No, it's face skeletal structure. It's

12:33

main. It's whole fucking body. And

12:35

plus the different shit. The zebra

12:37

hangs out in the giraffe and

12:39

closer so you can see the

12:41

giraffe too. Your favorite guys. Girafs

12:43

are awesome. Yes. And you're like,

12:45

wait a second. You're not all.

12:47

Well, I got so confused there

12:50

on my medium-sized machine. I just

12:52

googled. I was looking at a

12:54

zebra to make fun of Jack's

12:56

and passing where they look to

12:58

a horse. Actually, he's googled zebra

13:00

horse. I'm looking at a zaw.

13:02

Yeah! And I was like, hey,

13:04

did I remember a zonky? I

13:06

was looking at a zonky. I

13:08

was looking at a zaw. I

13:10

was like, hey, did I don't

13:12

remember a zonky? I was like,

13:14

I could have sworn to this,

13:16

drives, drives, maybe that's just drives,

13:18

drives, maybe that's way more than

13:20

I could have. I'm back. I'm

13:23

grounded this is normal for me.

13:25

You know nothing, you can skip

13:27

at the Melbourne Zoo? Yeah. This

13:29

is gonna be controversial. Okay. The

13:31

whole Australia section. Interesting. I've seen

13:33

a fucking kangaroo. Okay. I've seen

13:35

a wild bat. I would be

13:37

happy to skip that, then I

13:39

would be to skip the reptile

13:41

house. Yeah. See a freaky snake,

13:43

dude. I guess. Yeah. It's cool

13:45

to see the gila monster, I

13:47

guess. I don't know what that

13:49

is. He's kind of cool. Gilla

13:51

monster is a big guy. He's

13:53

like the only venomous lizard. Yeah,

13:56

it's pretty cool. Which is pretty

13:58

cool about him. Oh, I know

14:00

that guy. Yeah, dude. Is that

14:02

the one, like, the big guys

14:04

that, like, Chase Bryson? They kind

14:06

of look like a snake cross

14:08

of the leg. The gilla monster's,

14:10

like, it's, uh... It's got like

14:12

the fat head of a snake.

14:14

Yeah. It's got cool colors, too.

14:16

Yeah. It's like black and blue-

14:18

Like you're not a horse, no

14:20

horse. Or like a rhinoceros or

14:22

a hippopotamus, I would have paid.

14:24

Because yeah, when you look at

14:27

those, it's crazy to see those

14:29

in real life. You just don't

14:31

encounter a zebra out of every

14:33

animal that's like associated with the

14:35

zoo. They don't like, I mean,

14:37

like it's interesting. Yeah. But you

14:39

don't need to stare on a

14:41

for two balls. Well, how long

14:43

does it take before you realize

14:45

it's not a horse? The moment

14:47

honestly, what the zoo should do

14:49

is put a horse in that

14:51

enclosure, weird, zebra, so I could

14:53

compare and understand what's going on.

14:55

That is so funny. It's fun

14:57

to be looking at the map

15:00

for being like, okay. We're going

15:02

to be looking at the map

15:04

for being like, we're going to

15:06

spend like half an hour to

15:08

an hour to zebra enclosure, obviously.

15:10

Yeah. And we'll get there. Okay,

15:12

okay, okay. All right, I go

15:14

to the zoo map. There's other

15:16

animals at the zoo that honestly,

15:18

I'll see. Yeah, but I if

15:20

I missed them, I wouldn't be

15:22

upset. I'm not saying skip them.

15:24

All right, I'll hit you rapid

15:26

fire with animals. Oh, yeah, cool.

15:28

Because I've got the, I got

15:31

the map. Okay. Now, I want

15:33

to, three categories. Yeah. Must see,

15:35

can see. Yeah. Skip, okay. Now,

15:37

so some of them I'm gonna

15:39

have to go, I'm just gonna

15:41

go specific because this is divided

15:43

into Main Drive, Gorilla Rainforest, Forest

15:45

of Wonder, the Gorilla, yes, we're

15:47

seeing. Obviously we got to see

15:49

the Gorillas, that's obvious, so yeah,

15:51

but if I hit you with

15:53

like Main Drive, like we don't

15:55

know, so I can break it.

15:57

So all right, Main Drive, we

15:59

got baboons. We've. Because I headed

16:01

in my head, I was like,

16:04

I don't, yeah, like, whatever, drop.

16:06

But then when you, like, stand

16:08

in, you're like, that's so fucking

16:10

big. Yeah, I think I'm like,

16:12

am I gonna put too many

16:14

on the mustsies, like, section. That's

16:16

what I'm doing. That's what I'm

16:18

doing. I don't want to, like,

16:20

I don't want to, I want

16:22

to, I don't want to, I

16:24

want to, I want to, I

16:26

want to, let me judicious, let

16:28

me judicious, let me judicious, I

16:30

want to, you know, I want

16:32

to, I want to, I want

16:35

to, you know, I want to,

16:37

you know, I want to, I

16:39

want to, I want to, I

16:41

want to, I want to, I

16:43

want to, I want to, I

16:45

want to, I want to, I

16:47

want to, I want to, I

16:49

want to, I want to, I

16:51

want to, I want to, I

16:53

want to You want to see

16:55

it or you want to? It's

16:57

a big guy. It's a big

16:59

guy. Yeah. Can see. Can see.

17:01

Can see. Can see. I like

17:03

to, we've also established a kind

17:05

of voting. We can see. We

17:08

can see. We are planning our

17:10

trip to the zoo anyway. Yeah,

17:12

we are. We are. Yeah. We

17:14

can see it. We can see

17:16

it. We can see it. Yala.

17:18

YA-A-A-A-Y-A-L-A. I think it's like a

17:20

big. Because it's weird. Yeah, I

17:22

want to say we need to.

17:24

Must say. Must say. Yeah, they're

17:26

awesome. Platypus. Skip, skip. I see,

17:28

I think Platypus. Glad we're on

17:30

the same page here. Platypus. Elvoted,

17:32

sorry. You don't get to see

17:34

the Platypus. No! Elvoted, sorry. You

17:36

don't get to see the Platypus.

17:38

No. You don't get to see

17:41

the Platypus. Yeah. Oh yeah, you

17:43

know, like you can skip them.

17:45

I'm just saying, well that would

17:47

be a must safe thing. Last

17:49

time I was at the zoo,

17:51

he was on his back and

17:53

I was like, is he dead?

17:55

And I never found out. Yeah,

17:57

I don't care. You skip in

17:59

the, you skip in the, potomists?

18:01

Yeah, you remember that in closure.

18:03

If I could just see the

18:05

warm bed, I won't. Yeah. Lemas.

18:07

Yeah. Gorillas. Lemas. Lemas. Lemas. Lemas.

18:09

Yeah. Any ape, dude, I gotta

18:12

see. Pig me hippopotamus is in

18:14

the... What? Yeah, I don't care.

18:16

You skip into the hippopotamus? Yeah,

18:18

you remember that enclosure that enclosure.

18:20

That is an S, sorry, an

18:22

FTR enclosure at the zoo. What

18:24

do you mean? You go down

18:26

a little slope, yeah. There's like

18:28

a little hot room, it's always

18:30

hot no matter the temperature. Glass

18:32

screens on either side, half is

18:34

water, half is sky. Uh-huh. Pick

18:36

up your heart of miss, it's

18:38

always sort of in the distance.

18:40

Yeah. You go. Oh cool, and

18:42

then you leave. But when it's

18:45

between apes, so you don't even

18:47

want to spend time there because

18:49

you want to see more apes.

18:51

Because then the next thing you

18:53

hit is tree-top apes, tree-top apes,

18:55

and monkeys. Yeah, I don't, well

18:57

look, I don't want to skip

18:59

the hip, like the... Okay. Yeah,

19:01

that's all, that's all must see

19:03

for me. Yeah, that's all must

19:05

see, that's all must see for

19:07

me, I would happily spend 10

19:09

time at the zoo. Yeah, that's

19:11

what makes the girl is good

19:13

to see. Yeah, you get to

19:16

watch one as he leans up

19:18

against like, you see an orangutan

19:20

with like a stick. And I

19:22

see me in that orangutan. Yeah,

19:24

but also he's getting there. And

19:26

there I am holding a stick

19:28

being like, he me. You put

19:30

your hand up in the glass,

19:32

he puts his hand up to

19:34

the glass. He gets it, I

19:36

get it. Somehow you actually swap

19:38

and now you're looking through the

19:40

orangutan. But then I like, I

19:42

do my best to never learn

19:44

a lesson. Yes, stay around and

19:46

attack, truly return to the market.

19:49

He starts slamming his hand on

19:51

the glass. He's like pointing, put

19:53

it back, and I'm like shrugging,

19:55

I don't know. I don't know.

19:57

Doing a blips. Scratching my ass.

19:59

I've given it a sniff. Nice.

20:01

Big, smile. There he is with

20:03

his human wife. Yeah. Like, come

20:05

on, honey, you have to go.

20:07

Stop yelling at the orangutan. Kill

20:09

that orangutan. He stole my life.

20:11

Better orangutan. Still my life. Kill

20:13

him. Forest of wonder. How wonderful

20:15

is this? Yeah, what are we

20:17

saying? First half, week. Okay. Second

20:20

off. Strong. Butterfly house. Skip. It's

20:22

too hot in there. Everything seems

20:24

to be very temperature-based. I get

20:26

in there and I'm sweating on

20:28

those butterflies landing on me, drinking

20:30

my neck. And that's my neck,

20:32

though. Yeah, I don't even think

20:34

it was gonna be food. Plus,

20:36

that's fucking the butterfly crows, it

20:38

stresses me out, dude. Because what

20:40

if I just put my hand

20:42

down on the railing, crush a

20:44

valuable butterfly? Well, not valuable. They're

20:46

like, you know, last what. Yeah,

20:48

that's sure. I guess they do

20:50

that quick. I'll say that if

20:53

one of those zoo keepers is

20:55

like, what'd you do? I'm like,

20:57

it doesn't matter, dude. Wipe it

20:59

off my hand. It's like natural

21:01

water. Yeah, dude. I'll just start

21:03

swatting them out of this guy.

21:05

Oh, fuck. Oh, what are these?

21:07

Before you step in, just like

21:09

spraying bugs, spray them. I really

21:11

don't know. Forest Harvest, which I

21:13

believe is just a second butterfly

21:15

house. I've seen an ape holding

21:17

a knife, I don't care. Oh,

21:19

to see an ape holding a

21:21

stick in sex. Well, huge use,

21:24

because the next part of forest

21:26

is a ranger thing. Oh, my

21:28

sea, my sea, my sea, my

21:30

sea. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Auders. Yeah,

21:32

must see. Odders are great. Now

21:34

this one is where I come

21:36

out to bat with a pretty

21:38

strong skip. Yeah. Rainforest, Avery. Oh,

21:40

yeah, skip. Fock birds, who cares?

21:42

Okay, well, I've lost some of

21:44

them. I lost out voters. Squirrel

21:46

monkeys. Oh, I see, must see,

21:48

must see, must see, climbing the

21:50

enclosure. Can I get in there?

21:52

Let them. hassle me. Tiger. Oh,

21:54

can see. The tiger is great.

21:57

Look all right. I think if

21:59

you're going to the zoo, seeing

22:01

no matter your feelings, seeing no

22:03

matter your feelings, seeing the giraffe,

22:05

the zebra, the lion, and if

22:07

they're going to tiger, the tiger,

22:09

and an elephant. They're like the

22:11

zoo classics. Yeah. I know it

22:13

just feels like when we get

22:15

to say elephant and when you

22:17

say must see, it feels like

22:19

I'm like, you know, lumping it

22:21

in the same as say yeah.

22:23

A giraffe, which I don't feel

22:25

that way. I think I think

22:27

the elephant is to me, higher,

22:30

higher, higher than the giraffe. Yeah.

22:32

Well, I think with the tiger,

22:34

the tiger's good. If you're at

22:36

the zoo, you see the tiger.

22:38

You can raid an elephant, sorry.

22:40

I think when you see the

22:42

tiger at the zoo this is

22:44

the experience yeah you go oh

22:46

there it is rock. Yeah rhinos

22:48

are sweet they got a sweetness

22:50

to them that I really like

22:52

they're like a if you put

22:54

one on a skateboard it's like

22:56

being hit by a tram or

22:58

whatever I'm talking about listeners ask

23:01

Nick Mason. Yeah yeah yeah yeah

23:03

I think when you see the

23:05

tiger at the zoo this is

23:07

the experience yeah you go oh

23:09

there it is and then it

23:11

lies down and then it lies

23:13

down and you're like Sometimes I

23:15

don't like animals. Or they just

23:17

walk back and forth and you're

23:19

like, wow. Should we go to

23:21

the elephants? That's the tiger and

23:23

closure experience. When I went to

23:25

Dream World on the Gold Coast,

23:27

when I was experiencing presumably the

23:29

three park super paws. and I

23:31

stuck my knee in the tiger

23:34

enclosure and then my knee got

23:36

stuck and then the zoo keeper

23:38

got very stressed. That's what you

23:40

want. Then it's exciting. Or if

23:42

you arrive at feeding time and

23:44

they're giving it a carcass, that's

23:46

also great. Oh, you gotta go

23:48

to that zoo that fed the

23:50

fucking giraffe to the... That I

23:52

would pay to see. But seeing

23:54

just the tiger in the background,

23:56

uh, look, for me it can.

23:58

For me it can, see. For

24:00

me it can, see. Wetlands Avery

24:02

yawn. Skip. Yeah, you can skip.

24:05

Skip. I like Greenland. Wetlands Avery.

24:07

One of the better aviaries at

24:09

the zoo. So I'm going to

24:11

say Kansi. Well, too bad. You've

24:13

been outvoted. Skip. What do they,

24:15

do they tell you what bird

24:17

there are? Wetlands ones. Storks. Australian

24:19

Bush. Black Swan. Cassowary? Cassowary. Cassowaries,

24:21

maybe. Maybe. They're dangerous. Yeah, but

24:23

they're like, you know, you can't

24:25

get up close. A kidneys. A

24:27

kidneys. Yeah, I'd go ahead as

24:29

well. Rainbow lorikeet. Skip. Oh no,

24:31

I like drumming back to them.

24:33

Yeah. They do interact with you

24:35

when they seem pissed off. That's

24:38

pretty funny. Oh, they hate it.

24:40

Cangaroos. Skip. Quakers. Skip. Can see.

24:42

Yeah, I'd go account as well.

24:44

Rainbow lorikeet. Skip. Honey, region, honey.

24:46

It's helpful for you and the

24:48

viewers. We knew. You already painted

24:50

a picture. Which is another bird.

24:52

Skip. Skip. Wallabees. Skip. Warmbats. Yeah.

24:54

Again. Last time I saw it,

24:56

the wombat was full lying like

24:58

this. Just like on its back.

25:00

That's not helpful. It's helpful for

25:02

you and the viewers. We knew.

25:04

You already painted a picture. Yeah,

25:06

it's on his back. Like the

25:09

Kimbo. It was great. He was

25:11

not moving. And it did look

25:13

slightly like he was like he

25:15

was beginning to blow. So he

25:17

maybe have been dead. Yeah, well

25:19

we gotta go check in on

25:21

him. Yeah, okay Then we've got

25:23

the frogs and reptiles skip Yeah,

25:25

I can't even like sell you

25:27

on it because it's it's still

25:29

clumped them together So just just

25:31

turtles and tortoises reptile house and

25:33

giant tortoises like what? The giant

25:35

turtles they are separate and I'll

25:37

pay them out I do like

25:39

seeing the giant turtles I got

25:42

into the giant turtle enclosure once

25:44

I don't know why I had

25:46

a really big day at the

25:48

zoo. Giant tortoise or turtle? Tortoise.

25:50

Tortoise. It's a giant. And then

25:52

it was like chasing me around

25:54

and I was like ha ha

25:56

ha ha ha and the zoo

25:58

people was like. He's trying to

26:00

break your last Lion Gorge! Wow,

26:02

we're getting, we're gorge on some

26:04

lions, fellas. Must see, must see.

26:06

Mm-hmm. So we've got dingos, lion,

26:08

snow leopards, must see, must see,

26:10

have dingo leopard, skip. What? Snow

26:13

leopard? Aren't they with a rare-

26:15

Oh, but Dingo? It's just a

26:17

fucking tiger again. Dingo? Skip! Dingo's

26:19

a sick! No leopard? Dingo's- Dingo's

26:22

hit the same thing that Zebra's

26:24

hit for me while looking at

26:26

it for a long time. You're

26:28

not a dog? You're not a

26:31

dog? Yeah. Speaking of dogs and

26:33

dingo. In Hillsville Sanctuary, there was

26:35

this moment where it was like,

26:38

oh, they had dogs in with

26:40

a dingo. You'd calm the dingoes

26:42

down. Nice. But it tricked me.

26:44

Because like I went there, uh,

26:46

partner, this is from the UK,

26:48

so you never experienced a dingo

26:50

before, and we went there. She's

26:52

like, that's just a dog. And I'm like,

26:54

yeah. No, I think it's, I mean, well,

26:57

like, because I don't, I know that, yeah,

26:59

sometimes I'll have a dingo that breeds with

27:01

like a dog, like, you know, like, you

27:03

know, a dog, and then I'm like. That

27:05

just fall looks like just a

27:07

dog, huh? She's like, yeah, maybe

27:10

it's got a little thing going

27:12

on. That's so funny. Because you

27:14

all inventing yourself. Have a dog.

27:16

Or have you just a dog

27:18

in the enclosure? That's insane. But

27:20

there was just a full-on dog.

27:22

Keep him company. Yeah, of course.

27:24

Make the record for you to

27:27

calm him down. Calm him down.

27:29

Snow lipidsake of this episode, sort

27:31

of. Yeah, well, I'll be out voted

27:33

but to me what's wrong with you

27:35

the snow leopard just fucking lies there

27:37

It doesn't do anything. What do you

27:39

lies on a platform? And you kind

27:42

of go oh, is that a bit

27:44

of white fur? Oh, that's the fucking

27:46

snow leopard. Oh sick. Yeah, and then

27:48

you move on because it's fucking meaningless

27:51

So your two criteria is of what

27:53

makes a animal good at the zoo

27:55

is one if the room is too

27:57

hot or too hot or too cold

28:00

not be doing a thing you want

28:02

to see up close. I get no

28:04

joy out of seeing a tiny bit

28:06

of white fur in a bush. Yeah,

28:09

but why does nothing for me, dude?

28:11

You've said yes to fucking wombats. They'll

28:13

be in a hall maybe. They're about,

28:16

they're doing shit. You don't know, you

28:18

know what might be dead. We're not

28:20

there, currently, it could be in the

28:22

hall. I'm not gonna... put the snow

28:25

leopard on the musty or cansey on

28:27

the off chance that I get to

28:29

see any more of it than like

28:32

a bit of its tail. A snow

28:34

leopard ranking lower than a wombat. Yeah

28:36

man. Well I'm out of doing something.

28:38

I've been consistently disappointed by the snow

28:41

leopard every time I've been to the

28:43

zoo. In my say 30 times I've

28:45

been to the zoo in my life.

28:48

Well it's not a snow leopard up

28:50

in about once. I guarantee you when

28:52

we go to the zoo, the snow

28:54

leopard will be a huge disappointment. Tiger.

28:57

Must. It's the same as the snow

28:59

leopard, skip. Look at a tiger, no

29:01

longer looking at you like, that's not

29:04

a cat. I can picture the enclosure.

29:06

At least the one in the where

29:08

the elephants are, is like a big.

29:10

This is another little, it's not worth

29:13

saying. Skip. Skip. Skip. What you mean?

29:15

Skip, that's just reptiles again. And now

29:17

this one is a must see for

29:20

me. Yeah. Seals. Oh yeah, must see,

29:22

dude. I'll see if I can find

29:24

out more information about C. Last time

29:26

I was at the zoo, in the

29:29

seal enclosure specifically, there was a seal

29:31

that it just like hopped up. It's

29:33

like a bit where you exit the

29:35

underwater section. And there's like a little

29:38

tiny window into the like. Behind the

29:40

scenes part of the zoo and there

29:42

was a seal that was just lying

29:45

there like he looked loose Not in

29:47

an enclosure. He was just lying there

29:49

slapping his belly looking at fuck it

29:51

rock. I love seals. I see all

29:54

he's lying there slapping his belly. I'll

29:56

look at him slap my back. Yeah

29:58

me it me it me me dude.

30:01

I got enclosure put my hand The

30:03

seal swaps with you. Like, uh, fuck.

30:05

And then you get to eat delicious

30:07

fish heads and swim around. The seal's

30:10

also from memory, they always farting. Always

30:12

farting. Did you see the bubbles? So

30:14

whenever you see the, and there's like

30:17

a big great section underwater where you

30:19

can, you, it's like an underwater window.

30:21

And you just watch them dance around

30:23

and they're always farting. Yeah. Yeah. There's

30:26

also a Ben and Jerry stole at

30:28

the zoo, no. I hate ice cream.

30:30

I love milkshakes. I love milkshakes. You're

30:33

fucked in the head. Anyway, leopards changing

30:35

in spots or whatever. I think this

30:37

has been an exercise in the fact

30:39

that Jackson will never change his spots

30:42

even under immense pressure and nonsense. I

30:44

think... Oh, your opinions make absolutely no

30:46

sense. stacked up against the other opinions.

30:49

Yeah, but I don't care. I hate

30:51

ice cream. I love milkshakes. That's different.

30:53

They're different. You know. the only joy

30:55

you get from beverages is the speed

30:58

in which you consume. Yeah. That's why

31:00

I don't like thick shakes. Yeah. You

31:02

gotta slow him down. Yeah, God, I

31:05

want a thick shake so bad. I'm

31:07

gonna suck it down, dude. That's what

31:09

I'm about. Yeah, exactly. He's all about

31:11

the swallowing. I gotta get a milkshake.

31:14

Swalling feels good. Yeah, I know I've

31:16

definitely made fun of you for this

31:18

before, but because of the speed you

31:21

drink, you believe I don't taste drinks.

31:23

You don't taste drinks. You don't taste

31:25

drinks. You don't. You don't taste drinks.

31:27

A normal person does. Skip his tongue,

31:30

go stretch the back of his throat.

31:32

I legitimately think that Jackson drinks in

31:34

such a speed in which, so usually

31:37

for us, you get the flavor of

31:39

whatever you're consuming as a first flavor.

31:41

And then when you swallow after taste,

31:43

that action is so fast for Jackson

31:46

that the taste that he gets the

31:48

most of is after taste. Yeah, taste

31:50

smacks so quickly about the taste. Yeah.

31:53

Yeah. After taste and whatever it coats

31:55

your mouth. Yeah. Yeah, I know I

31:57

know, but like you're skid... It's like

31:59

if you get a meal. Yeah. And

32:02

then you just like cut a third

32:04

out of it and then just throw

32:06

it on the floor. Yeah. Why? Yeah,

32:09

but I reckon I... I think it's

32:11

by the time that we take to

32:13

eat one meal, he's eating two. Yeah,

32:15

exactly. That's true. I'm so quick, dude.

32:18

And there's a joy to being fast.

32:20

Yeah, well, I mean you get to

32:22

make that cool noise of when you

32:25

drink or eat too fast and you've

32:27

made yourself tired. Yeah, dude. I don't

32:29

know what a snake once it's eating

32:31

like a whole buffalo. I need to

32:34

lie down. Because this is like, oh,

32:36

my, usually my teeth would, you know,

32:38

masturbate. They'll help me out. Not me.

32:41

No, no, no, no. Well, no. Jackson

32:43

is an overdrive. Yeah. Oh yeah, good

32:45

drink! I love freaky, fucked up soda

32:47

flavors that I don't taste. Yeah, I

32:50

guess, yeah, your neck does a lot

32:52

of the work. My neck does what

32:54

your teeth do. You know? You know?

32:57

Yeah. And yeah, I really like the

32:59

active consumption. It's very pleasant for me.

33:01

Yeah, that's fair. Like swallowing can be

33:03

satisfying, but you know if you like

33:06

slow it down a little bit. Yeah,

33:08

but what am I... What do I

33:10

do? A waste of time. He's got

33:13

things to do. What's Jackson do? He's

33:15

like, but he quick, got things to

33:17

do. What's he doing? What's he doing?

33:19

What's he doing? What's he doing? What's

33:22

he doing? What's he doing? What's he

33:24

doing? What's he doing? What's he doing?

33:26

What's he doing? What's he doing? What

33:29

are you doing? What are you doing

33:31

either side of a meal that you're

33:33

going to get it done so you

33:35

can move on so you can move

33:38

on? If your family minus your brother

33:40

said they don't enjoy the taste of

33:42

food full stop, I believe them. Yeah.

33:45

No, I mean, I mean, my brother,

33:47

he ate a whole, uh, cold-roof chicken

33:49

once in one sitting. Yeah. And he

33:51

would have probably been quick about that.

33:54

What, quick? Does he eat his famous

33:56

nachos quick? Yeah. But I drink the

33:58

quickest quickest. Because what am I genuinely,

34:01

yeah, can't really comprehend. Do you know

34:03

how to drink? Like what are you

34:05

doing? Because like, you know, if I

34:07

take this drink, okay? And you just

34:10

have my aim, my goal here is

34:12

to get this delicious Mount Frank, lightly

34:14

sparkling watermelon. The entire can. Just to

34:17

get this liquid that's in here into

34:19

my guts. And I go. And

34:22

I did it. What other bit

34:24

on my missile? No, that's, that

34:26

was more of a normal scene.

34:28

That was way more normal. Well,

34:31

I'll try and drink a Jackson

34:33

style then, okay? Yeah, for you.

34:35

Yeah, okay, yeah, there's a very,

34:37

I honestly think there's an audible

34:39

difference for our listeners at home.

34:41

Let me try, let me try

34:43

and do this Jackson style. How

34:46

good is it? To his credit,

34:48

there's a rush. Yeah, because your

34:50

brain goes into panic, because I'm

34:52

like, I shouldn't be doing this.

34:54

Also, just a clarification, were you

34:56

sucking on the cans? I was

34:58

trying to just like, yeah, and

35:01

emulate that noise. I was like,

35:03

yeah. I think the way I...

35:05

Because I'm not trying to open

35:07

the gala, I'm trying to like...

35:09

Yeah, because that's the thing, I

35:11

can't open that... That's probably a

35:13

sign that the way you drink

35:16

isn't correct. The savage's just experiencing

35:18

a thrill. Red Bull should sponsor

35:20

me, dude. Yeah, no, it's a

35:22

light-headed. Yeah, it's good. It's a

35:24

good way to be. We're going

35:26

to start just drinking fluids at

35:28

a rapid pace. Jackson had it

35:30

right. I do feel the tired.

35:33

It's exhausting. But like, okay, so

35:35

like, okay, level with me. So,

35:37

the water, the liquid goes into

35:39

your mouth. The way you drink,

35:41

is anything else happening? Or something

35:43

else, now a bit burpee, so

35:45

I think it's why it works

35:48

as well. Because you've sucked down,

35:50

he's the gas. You have, real

35:52

have, yeah. The liquid goes. Because

35:54

the gas pretty much bypasses his

35:56

mouth, there's no, it's just straight

35:58

into his stomach. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

36:00

I get it, I get it.

36:03

Yeah, yeah. Which is, I mean,

36:05

like, be explained by the way

36:07

I drink. Which is funny, because

36:09

you give him a free pause,

36:11

you're like, I've got lots of

36:13

bubbles now, that's why he burbs

36:15

so much. Yeah. But if he

36:18

just drank regularly, what didn't happen?

36:20

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's good. It's

36:22

different. Are you swishing it? I'm

36:24

just slow about, like, you take

36:26

a sip, like, because you suck

36:28

with such a force that you

36:30

can see that the liquids with

36:33

such a liquid's pretty much going

36:35

from. The like vessel to back

36:37

off the road. Yeah, this is

36:39

good. Why does it need to

36:41

hang out in my mouth? Do

36:43

it cross across the tongue? You

36:45

know It's not just an evolutionary

36:48

thing, we're like, oh, this berries

36:50

bitter there. Poison, you know, well,

36:52

you wouldn't know. I wouldn't know,

36:54

dude. Yeah, I mean, Jack's would

36:56

have been, I would have been

36:58

bright out, is the thing. Yeah,

37:00

in prehistoric times, I'm dead. Yeah,

37:03

because I go, oh, sweet dude,

37:05

berries. Yeah. Because I go, oh

37:07

sweet, dude, berries. Oh, you know.

37:09

I'm really tired. Who wants to

37:11

lie down? But the sweat's going

37:13

to burning? Yeah. Anyone else feeling

37:15

that? Oh, none of you ate

37:18

the berries. But I ate them

37:20

so coy. Yeah, I ate 40.

37:22

What a rush. Oh, mercy me.

37:24

I guess you can just paint

37:26

a leopard. Yeah. I was going

37:28

to shave it and then take

37:30

it to a tanning salon. Oh,

37:33

nice. Because I'm assuming the pattern

37:35

of the leopard. It's like on

37:37

the skin right I would think

37:39

so yeah so if because unless

37:41

it's not like what happens if

37:43

you shave the leopard I think

37:45

it I think it does I

37:47

think it's a pigment on the

37:50

skin that then yeah it grows

37:52

into the one you could either

37:54

yes shave it completely and then

37:56

you take it to a tanning

37:58

salon or I think that's probably

38:00

with a a leopard can't change

38:02

it. Oh, because it's built in.

38:05

Because yeah, it's the partners on

38:07

their skin. I'm looking at a

38:09

very, very cute, oh, that's a

38:11

cheetah. Hmm. Because I was gonna

38:13

suggest what you could do, well,

38:15

how, you know, I guess, with

38:17

those humans, how we often change

38:20

our hair color or care. It's

38:22

like, you know, you could die,

38:24

of course, but stress. Oh. Stress.

38:26

Stress, it off a waterfall. No,

38:28

but that's you at the edge

38:30

of Niagara Falls with the leopard.

38:32

You go to throw it and

38:35

it clasps on the... Yeah, and

38:37

then you both fall off. And

38:39

then you both have a merchant

38:41

of water with white hair. Exactly,

38:43

and it flips over and lands

38:45

on me. Yeah, it walks away.

38:47

Dead on the Ross. So a

38:50

leopard, we'd have to... So you

38:52

can't do anything towards fur to

38:54

change its spots, I guess, because

38:56

it's... Um,

38:59

yeah! Yeah! Oh, I feel good

39:01

points! Oh! Okay, um, okay, um,

39:03

okay, um, okay, um, yeah, okay,

39:05

um, okay, um, yeah, okay, um,

39:08

yeah, okay, um, yeah, um, yeah,

39:10

okay, um, just, I haven't talked

39:12

about that guy, do you know,

39:14

speaking of people, jumping off waterfalls.

39:17

Yeah. I have a tell you

39:19

let's say about the guy like

39:21

their 20s or something. He did

39:23

it as like, it's like with

39:26

his job. Hey, hey mom, hey

39:28

dad, I just got a new

39:30

full-time job. I jumped off waterfalls.

39:32

I put him in a barrel.

39:35

Oh, sorry, no, I don't jump

39:37

off waterfalls. I sit in a

39:39

barrel and get thrown off waterfalls.

39:41

Yeah, that was basically, and he

39:44

would survive, and that was his

39:46

like whole sort of sort of

39:48

deal. And people would pay money,

39:50

he became very money, he became

39:53

very popular. I think he might

39:55

have done it with his horse

39:57

too. He said his job, what

39:59

did he just start doing? He

40:02

just never came down. And then

40:04

it was something like six months

40:06

later they found he'd Yeah obviously

40:08

died and then he froze like

40:11

the river froze and they just

40:13

saw him on his horse up

40:15

the water and had to get

40:17

him out. I just think that's

40:20

so if we like this is

40:22

this guy the thing that's amazing

40:24

about him is he goes off

40:26

this waterfall in a barrel and

40:29

then he always comes back up

40:31

and then there's like a crowd

40:33

of 40 people and he goes

40:35

over and you're like just way

40:38

he's got to be down there

40:40

somewhere. Oh. Is that horse thinking?

40:42

Hey horse come into this barrel.

40:44

Okay. Just goes to the barrel

40:47

and close the barrel. I'm a

40:49

horse. And then I can't remember

40:51

if the horse has done it

40:53

multiple. Well we used to dive

40:56

horses. What did they think was

40:58

happening? Come on. Very high up.

41:00

Now we're very wet. Yeah. Come

41:02

on. Yeah. To there to the

41:05

side. Okay. That's a crazy thing

41:07

we did. But what a sight

41:09

to see. Oh. Do you think

41:11

we should put a leopard in

41:14

that barrel? Yes, dude. Well, that's

41:16

trusted enough. To make it... Yeah,

41:18

might do. It might do. What

41:20

about we get crisper? You know,

41:23

crisper? The gene sequence editing thing?

41:25

Software? We could make it first

41:27

say whatever we want. Dirty words.

41:29

Mmm. If you introduce that to

41:32

the leopard population, you could... I

41:34

mean, that's great branding. Yeah. Coca-Cola

41:36

leopards. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

41:38

yeah. Then they... There is none.

41:41

What are we going to advertise

41:43

that we love? Apes! Apes! The

41:45

lepens are wondering around advertising. Apes,

41:47

are there for... Got apes? Got

41:50

him up? Yeah, exactly. And then

41:52

our phone knob. Yeah. People can

41:54

call us with the apes, they

41:56

find. Because then, you do that

41:59

too, a couple of leopards. Yeah.

42:01

What do they call? Fair to

42:03

gorilla. Oh, yeah. Tell them more.

42:05

That's sick to the rolls, man.

42:08

Yeah, send a photo. Are you

42:10

not going to take the gorilla?

42:12

No dude, I don't have the

42:14

facilities. Dude, I would take every

42:17

gorilla if I could. I just

42:19

simply do not have the room.

42:21

No, I just want to know

42:23

that you've got apes and if

42:26

you can just send me a

42:28

sweet egg. Send me some photos.

42:30

That's what I'd love to see.

42:32

Because if, so say we took

42:35

a couple of leopards. Yeah. And

42:37

we genetically, using CRISPA, we modified

42:39

their DNA so that their fur,

42:41

and we shaved them, skinned them,

42:44

what have we had to do?

42:46

Shaved them, shave those skinned them.

42:48

So that their fur grew back

42:50

in the word we wanted. Yeah.

42:53

Then those leopards bred with other

42:55

leopards. Yeah. Are we eventually going

42:57

to breed a bunch of leopards

42:59

that have whatever words we want

43:02

in their fur on them? Maybe

43:04

don't want to have a word.

43:06

population. What about this? Yeah, we,

43:08

this is a good way to

43:11

make money. Go on. Okay. I

43:13

call this the great leopard Jesus

43:15

scale. So we, I am listening.

43:17

We crisper a leopard. Yes. So

43:20

that on the back of its

43:22

fur, it looks like an image

43:24

of Christ. Yes. And then we

43:26

say, tis a miracle. Is indeed

43:29

a miracle. We contact the Catholic

43:31

Church. I say, hey, pop. Guess

43:33

what I go. And then I

43:35

show them the leopard. Uh-huh. And

43:38

we breed the leopard or the

43:40

other leopard to get a bunch

43:42

of Jesus leopard. Yeah, yeah. Can

43:44

we also breed like, you know,

43:47

breed the stick martyr into him

43:49

a bit as well? Yeah, of

43:51

course. And then we just say

43:53

there's a miracle leopard. Yeah. And

43:56

we over time sell these to

43:58

the Catholic church, whatever. You know,

44:00

you know, you got to just

44:02

Catholic. Yeah, yeah. Any church that

44:05

wants a once a leopard. Yeah.

44:07

How much we charge it? Got

44:09

to talk a lot. How much

44:11

is a leopard base? Yeah, good

44:14

question. 5,000? 5,000 is probably too

44:16

cheap. I don't know. I can

44:18

like 10K. How much is a

44:20

leopard? How much is a crisp?

44:23

Where's he going? He's getting his

44:25

phone to throw on the floor.

44:27

How in the hole away is

44:29

the question. We bought one leopard,

44:32

one, crisper. How does a crisper

44:34

machine thing work? That is also

44:36

something I don't know. I understand

44:38

you can edit your chains. Yes.

44:41

Okay, I'm gonna live with you.

44:43

I don't understand. Let me look

44:45

up CRISPR. See, oh, CRISPI, Saracha,

44:47

chicken. Didn't someone like, um, they

44:50

were like, oh, like a transverse

44:52

was like, I'm gonna CRISPR, that's

44:54

right. How? How it work? I

44:56

don't understand. Leopards cost between half

44:59

a million and two million dollars

45:01

you were. Wow, that's expensive. Yeah,

45:03

it's a stick model leopard's going

45:05

to be real expensive. I think

45:08

we have to sell to the

45:10

church because I don't think the

45:12

regular like John Q. Catholic are

45:14

going to afford this leopard. Now,

45:17

unfortunately, buying and selling leopards is

45:19

illegal in most countries. Well, what

45:21

country isn't? Russia? How much is

45:23

$2 million in? I almost said

45:26

Cren. What the fuck is Cren.

45:28

You're making up currencies, dude. You

45:30

know the Russian Cren? Yeah, I

45:32

think it's rubles, right? Didn't they

45:35

do it? Okay, they increased the

45:37

size of rice with CRISPA. Okay,

45:39

look before I before when I

45:41

said and sorry before when I

45:44

lied and I said I understand

45:46

the crisper yeah Um, what? Now

45:48

I think I know even less

45:50

than I thought I did. Okay.

45:53

Uh, so, okay, I can modify

45:55

rise and the leopard? So, uh.

45:57

Scientists have already used CRISPR to

45:59

produce virus bacterial and fungal resistant

46:02

crops that can cope with extreme

46:04

heat and cold. They've also increased

46:06

the size of rice wheat and

46:08

maize grains and produced bigger and

46:11

better soybeans and brusicas. So I

46:13

can make a big leopard. Well

46:15

you could make the leopard bigger,

46:17

yeah. And resistant to temperature, which

46:20

could be cold. It made foods,

46:22

hardier, improving animal health, this close.

46:24

In one experiment pigs were rendered

46:26

immune to respiratory diseases like swine

46:29

flu. That's cool. They also focus

46:31

on avoiding painful procedures such as

46:33

the removal of cows horns. So

46:35

maybe so they've they bred horn-free

46:38

cows. What the fuck? So I

46:40

think we could do whatever we

46:42

like to this left. Yeah, so

46:44

stick model lepens back on the

46:46

table. I think yeah. Russians Catholic?

46:49

What's a big religion in Russia.

46:51

Variety is that a Christian? Yeah,

46:53

yeah, yeah, I think Russian Orthodox

46:55

is Catholic. I'm pretty sure. I

46:58

don't think it's Protestant. Because Stigmata

47:00

would be bad if... Wait, no,

47:02

isn't most of them like Stigmata?

47:04

No, no, no, Stigmata would be

47:07

bad if they're not Catholic. Why?

47:09

Why? Don't the Protestants like Stigmata?

47:11

It's all Jesus. Yeah, if it's

47:13

not Catholicism. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Stigmata

47:16

would be bad for any other

47:18

religion. For any other religion. Muslim

47:20

or Jewish. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

47:22

But Catholic is a form of

47:25

Christianity. No, no, Christianity. Yeah, yeah.

47:27

He meant Christianity, but he said,

47:29

Gotcha. Christianity. Yeah, Christianity. Yeah, Christianity,

47:31

one. Christianity. Yes, as long as

47:34

there's some form of Christianity, we're

47:36

good. Yeah, they need to be

47:38

Christians. It's bad whenever we have

47:40

to Wikipedia or anything, because listen

47:43

to this. I just looked up

47:45

the Russian Orthodox. I guess, does

47:47

primate mean something else other than

47:49

ape? We don't know, we know.

47:52

Orphanox Christianity is the most wildly

47:54

profess religion in Russia. Yeah, but

47:56

what's this primate? What's this primate?

47:58

The primate of the Russian Orthodox

48:01

Church is the patriarch of Moscow

48:03

and all of Russia. So... Primate

48:05

is a title rank bestowed to

48:07

some archbishop. Primate, like you would

48:10

say for gorilla. So is a

48:12

title. Okay. So it's not Moscow

48:14

isn't being run by guerrilla. No.

48:16

But it's still crazy that you

48:19

could be like, what role do

48:21

you have in the judge? Oh,

48:23

I'm the primate. I'm the primate.

48:25

Is that one of it said

48:28

differently? The pronunciation guide looks different

48:30

to... Primate maybe? Pretty much that's

48:32

would be like a fancy way

48:34

of saying prime. Yeah, it's still

48:37

primate Yeah, it's a fucking primate.

48:39

You're still the gorilla. I would

48:41

rather be lower in chief. Yeah,

48:43

a gorilla in chief of the

48:46

church. Yeah, that sounds great. That's

48:48

awesome. Um, okay. Okay. Well, so

48:50

we could sell the leopard. That's

48:52

one way to do it. Okay.

48:55

What if can like with other

48:57

like say like the the zorse

48:59

or the zonky? Yeah. What can

49:01

we breed breed breed breed breed

49:04

breed breed breed with a Why

49:06

not a sauce? We put one

49:08

minute, 100 leopards and 100 sources

49:10

together and none of them are

49:13

farks. And now we've got a

49:15

hundred leopards and zero sources, but

49:17

the leopards are really full. We

49:19

have to buy more sources, which

49:22

is so expensive because leopards are

49:24

so expensive. out there and you've

49:26

spiked the meat with some kind

49:28

of sexual stimulus. Then you leave

49:31

the other, you let them out

49:33

first. They get eaten. Well then

49:35

the leopards get horny. Then you

49:37

send out the next 50s horses.

49:40

Yeah, okay. All live time is

49:42

made the leopards horny for each

49:44

other. We are making a lot

49:46

of leopards. Yeah, okay. We can

49:49

open like a Tiger King weapon

49:51

king style and what began as

49:53

a simple plan to make a

49:55

sauce fuck a leopard has turned

49:58

into one of the country's largest

50:00

big county Azuz. Biggest leopard farm

50:02

in this side of Mississippi. Also

50:04

it's funny because if we did

50:07

finally after hundreds and hundreds of

50:09

sources make a leopard a disaster

50:11

fuck. Is it pregnant? No? What?

50:13

Gives birth to just a regular

50:16

source? We're like, is this... Surely

50:18

they're kind of like examined at

50:20

the Dingo inclusion. Like, it's like

50:22

a bit lapidious. Surely it's not

50:25

just a regular like, like, surely

50:27

that was a, that was a

50:29

leopard. That's a leopardy source. Not

50:31

the other sources. Right? Right? Surely

50:34

it's not just a sauce in

50:36

it. Why did we buy a

50:38

sauce in it? Why did we

50:40

buy a sauce in? Sources, male

50:43

sources. Because I wanted them to

50:45

fuck, don't happen! To change their

50:47

spots, just stripes. Yeah, in fact,

50:49

making just a source, it's not

50:52

even doing what we wanted to.

50:54

What if we just instead of

50:56

the look, hey fell, I know

50:58

we are like. 200 sources date.

51:01

Yeah, but what if we got

51:03

like a tiger? Oh, okay. Just

51:05

say it would, I'll order another

51:07

100 sources. I got a source

51:10

guy, okay? He loves me. Yeah,

51:12

he's holding another 100 for his

51:14

right now. Well, I mean, if

51:16

he's holding, then you better get

51:19

it. You better buy it. You

51:21

better buy it. They'll come good.

51:23

This Joe Disher is putting my

51:25

kids for college. could do it

51:28

and then you get a LIGA

51:30

which possibly exists. The LIGA is

51:32

a line in it. Oh, it

51:34

should be a Leo, a Leoga,

51:37

a type, see if it exists.

51:39

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, like a

51:41

cross. I think it becomes sort

51:43

of consumed by Dusus lust to

51:46

make a horse cat. Now we'll

51:48

work eventually. I have another hundred

51:50

sources. Okay. What? The DNA has

51:52

been weakened by becoming sourced like

51:55

all chevras. Typically that makes them

51:57

infertile? No. But we're hoping it

51:59

makes the mondo big boy fertile.

52:01

I'm imagining that it means that

52:04

the DNA thing is like lusos

52:06

or maybe they can breed with

52:08

other things. Right. So, okay, I

52:10

like you, you, there are. So

52:13

you can get this leopards or

52:15

leopards, which is a leopon. and

52:17

Tiger and Pumipads. Pumipads. Pumipads feel

52:19

like pumipads feel sniffy. I don't

52:22

know why. Yeah but something about

52:24

it does. Yeah so we can

52:26

I guess yeah if we're gonna

52:28

get artificially inseminate them. Why are

52:31

we back to the sauce? Yeah.

52:33

Well this is just got all

52:35

this sauce. Yeah I bought 300

52:37

sauce so they threw in 10

52:40

liters. You've got three hundred. No,

52:42

a hundred and a hundred and

52:44

a hundred and a hundred. All

52:46

right, okay, the other two hundred.

52:49

But then it was by, once

52:51

you hit the three, like I

52:53

filled out my loyalty card, I

52:55

just gave me ten liters of

52:58

Zorscom. Okay, nice. Now, you also

53:00

get a lepjag, which is a

53:02

jaguar. Oh, okay. Oh, no, I

53:04

don't want to be the guy

53:07

who has to artificially intimidate the

53:09

leopards. Oh, okay. I get all

53:11

this incredible sauce come. Uh-huh. I

53:13

then get a turkey baster. I'm

53:16

like, someone distract the leopards. That's

53:18

why I lost someone distract the

53:20

leopards. The leopards ate my face!

53:22

That's every single time. You see

53:25

someone say that on the internet.

53:27

They're not talking about Trump for

53:29

being talked over by Trump. They're

53:31

talking about the man who had

53:34

to distract the leopards whilst the

53:36

other man tries to artificially inseminate

53:38

them using Zorscom through a turkey

53:40

base. It's so funny as a

53:43

leopard has its like paws and

53:45

its mouth on my face and

53:47

I'm like, this will be the

53:49

worst moment for you to insert

53:52

the horsecom. It is gonna surprise

53:54

the leopard no matter what. It

53:56

is going to crush my head

53:58

with its poor. Yeah, but you're

54:01

going to die a hero. Yeah.

54:03

Yeah, I think so. So we

54:05

fill up this leopard. Uh-huh. Now,

54:07

we play the way. Yeah. Watch

54:10

the Insemination length for a leopard.

54:12

Who knows? Who knows? That just

54:14

seems like something you know, Jackson.

54:16

I'm going to say I'm going

54:19

to throw this out there. Actually,

54:21

during lockdown, you claimed that the

54:23

gestation period for a human was

54:25

12 months. Yeah, that's... I don't

54:28

think it was during lockdown. There

54:30

was just everyday life. I had

54:32

no excuse. We were in Sydney

54:34

when he made this claim. I'm

54:37

saying four months for a lapid.

54:39

I'm throwing that out. Yeah, brother.

54:41

I'm across it. 90 day fiance,

54:43

90 day lapid baby. Yeah. If

54:46

you could breed two animals together

54:48

that don't normally breed, what would

54:50

you pick? Yeah, but that's how

54:52

we would push into that corner.

54:55

I think something we could potentially

54:57

give it ape wings. So maybe

54:59

a gorilla and an angel. It's

55:01

awesome to imagine though. You know,

55:04

like in the Bible, there's like

55:06

that bit where the angels came

55:08

down and had sex with mankind

55:10

and stuff. I love, I'm the

55:13

angel who's fucking your gorilla, and

55:15

then I look over and see

55:17

everyone fucking me. I'm like, oh,

55:19

that's those are humans! Sorry. I

55:22

just couldn't tell. I just don't

55:24

know. I just don't know. I'm

55:26

from heaven. It'd be rude to

55:28

not finish, right? I'm going to

55:31

finish in this gorilla and then

55:33

I'll come over and start. Helping

55:35

you out. I was thinking like

55:37

alligator is like a good start.

55:40

Alligator and... I don't know. I'm

55:42

trying to figure out. Well, I

55:44

think maybe you've got like a

55:46

gorilla and an e- Yeah, like,

55:49

it's like, it's nice. Alligator and

55:51

sauce is good, actually. Yeah, it

55:53

was a good. Maybe an elephant

55:55

and an angel, no, an elephant?

55:57

What do you, what an alligator

56:00

to have? I mean, a horse

56:02

means longer legs and a floppy

56:04

tail, probably. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Speed.

56:06

Yeah, longer head becomes like, it's

56:09

not flat and longer, but it

56:11

fills out. Yeah, yeah, it gets

56:13

nice. Alligator and sauce is good,

56:15

actually. I didn't say horse. Yeah,

56:18

okay. Excuse me, alligator and sauce.

56:20

Well, actually, yes, here's what I'm

56:22

thinking too. Why go alligator and

56:24

not sauce or horse, alligator and

56:27

cow. Then all of a sudden,

56:29

because with this technology, we can

56:31

milk any animal. That's true. You

56:33

just pick an animal, you combine

56:36

it with a cow, you get

56:38

milk. Exactly, that's an delicious meal.

56:40

So I go alligator and horse,

56:42

I mean, cow. And then you

56:45

milk the fuck out of that

56:47

horse. I milk that horse and

56:49

you go on the brain. Then

56:51

I get delicious alligator horse milk

56:54

and I go, oh. I think

56:56

we're going to go the opposite

56:58

way and be like, because people

57:00

like to eat alligator or crocodator

57:03

or crocodilegator or crocodile. because it

57:05

has a distinct taste mixed up

57:07

with beef. Oh yeah true, a

57:09

crocodile beef. Okay, yeah, like a

57:12

gaily cow. Fish and a cow,

57:14

then you've got surf and turf

57:16

in one meat. I was thinking

57:18

like snake and a spider to

57:21

make something real fucked up. Yeah,

57:23

scary. Two extremely different forms of

57:25

locomotion together at last. Like a

57:27

real fucked up like millipede. Yeah,

57:30

or that's scary. One's on like

57:32

the Amazon that a giant, whatever,

57:34

but worse. Two. Long leg. Come

57:36

on a dragon and a dog

57:39

would be good. Whoa, a dog

57:41

that can kill you. Dogs can

57:43

kill you as is. Yeah, but

57:45

hot is not as easy. Yeah.

57:48

This would be a scary dog

57:50

that can kill you. Anything with

57:52

like, again, the, like, the commuter

57:54

dragon and the cow would be

57:57

pretty bad. Poison milk. Poison milk.

57:59

Poison milk that kills you. Yeah.

58:01

Finally, just regular milk, fine. No,

58:03

I'll take the milk that kills

58:06

you. I like the angel ones,

58:08

but what about like an ape

58:10

and a bat? Whoa, same color,

58:12

and yeah, it's cold, scary. I

58:15

think that you see a gorilla

58:17

with bad wings, say, Satan is

58:19

real. Oh, it's the devil. Yeah,

58:21

I see. I've spent my whole

58:24

life in sin and now the

58:26

devil has come to claim my

58:28

soul. Oh, is that, is that

58:30

right, with bad wings? Okay. How

58:33

is real? Am I having a

58:35

mental break? I need to go

58:37

like that. I don't know. I'm

58:39

not even get up, but I'm

58:42

just like, but I'm just like,

58:44

how is real. Heaven might not

58:46

be, but heaven is one of

58:48

them real. It's time for Joldusa.

58:51

This is Lucifer, and he looks

58:53

like an ape. I think I

58:55

go, I think my final answer

58:57

is Man and Snake. And I'll

59:00

make a Snake Man. Okay, going

59:02

with Make or Sam? Snans, sorry,

59:04

excuse me. Yeah. And I'll just

59:06

keep, I'll just say, this is

59:09

my snake man. Yeah. Be careful,

59:11

he bites. And he can't unhing

59:13

his jaw. Yeah. You can do

59:15

man and cow. Man milk. Yeah,

59:18

they call that breast milk. Babies

59:20

drink it. Not the way I'm

59:22

making it. Well, I think when

59:24

it comes to a leopard changing

59:27

its spots, it's actually. It's a

59:29

very simple elegant solution. Yeah, a

59:31

leopard can change in sports. It

59:33

just chooses not to. Yeah, exactly.

59:36

It just requires a little bit

59:38

of out the box. Oh, yeah.

59:40

Exactly. And you know, if you

59:42

got a problem with the way

59:45

I drink, you can go to

59:47

hell. Well, you'll be greeted by

59:49

Lucifer. A gorilla with that one.

59:51

Yeah, exactly. And on that note,

59:54

I've been Joe. This has been

59:56

another episode of... The Plum in

59:58

the we've been

1:00:00

the and we, well, we've been

1:00:03

the plumbers. Whoa! Oh! Ranch French.

1:00:05

Ranch, ranch, indeed. Like a plumber.

1:00:07

it doesn't work.

1:00:09

Never mind a plumb.

1:00:12

No, it doesn't work. Never mind.

1:00:14

Enjoy! See ya!