0:00

Hey you, come over here. What is

0:02

it, mysterious person in

0:04

that shadowy alley? Check out

0:06

what I got under my trench

0:08

coat. Whoa, is that a

0:10

subscription to pork fried dice

0:13

on coffee? Yeah, see, it

0:15

says tiny ur.com/support PFD. Nido!

0:17

Hey while you're here, you want

0:20

to buy some crack? You're

0:24

listening to the

0:26

show about going

0:28

full batthwack mode. It's

0:31

pork fried dice. I'm

0:33

Eric, and I'm the

0:35

dungeon master. I'm Abby,

0:37

and I play Rifina.

0:39

I'm Alex, and I

0:41

play batwack. I'm Katie,

0:43

and I play Will.

0:45

I'm Adam, and I play

0:48

Roscoe. Hold on to

0:50

your haversacks. Let's roll.

0:56

We all know that the earth wobbles,

0:58

but did you know that it

1:00

doesn't fall down? Weebles wobble, but

1:03

they don't fall down. Is

1:05

that another MxPX? Yes,

1:07

definitely. Yes. What's that? Isn't it

1:09

like the crust of the earth,

1:11

like the composition of the earth, it's

1:14

like rock is this and then... dirt

1:16

is just like a tiny little

1:18

you don't even dirt isn't even

1:20

on the chart when you're drawing

1:23

like the composition the actual composition

1:25

of the planet and that's nothing

1:27

yeah no I mean we both fall down

1:30

but they get up again oh nothing's gonna

1:32

keep a weevil down that's the next recap

1:34

songs name another song by Chumba

1:37

Womba. Chumba Womba is the

1:39

song, right? No, it's Tub

1:41

Thumpin. Oh, Tub Thumbin. Oh,

1:43

Chumba Womba is the band.

1:45

I don't know any other

1:47

songs. Tub Thumb Thumbin is

1:49

the song. But you know

1:51

it's weird? It's not... This is

1:54

like a Mandela effect. It's

1:56

not Chumba Womba. It's

1:58

Chumba Wamba. Chumba, Chumba,

2:01

Chumba, Womba. Chumba, Womba. Wow.

2:03

Because I definitely would have

2:06

thought it was Chumba, Womba.

2:08

Everyone thinks it's Chumba Womba.

2:11

Eric thought it was Chumba

2:13

Womba, but it's not. It's

2:16

Chumba Wamba. Wow. Yeah, you

2:18

have to pronounce it like

2:21

that. It's like Jimba. No.

2:24

All right, have I delayed

2:26

long enough? Recap, recap, recap,

2:28

yay, I love it when

2:30

I don't have to do

2:33

your recap, and I get

2:35

to listen to everyone else's

2:37

stuff, and it's always amazing.

2:39

And poor Adam's gonna be

2:42

like, I died before I

2:44

could write this. All I

2:46

did was, did he send

2:48

you something? Are you ready

2:51

to play it? Previously, on

2:53

pork fried dice. In the

2:55

Maritime Criminal Justice System. The

2:57

passengers are represented by one

3:00

solitary and extremely important individual.

3:02

Captain Malvolio Paisley, who investigates

3:04

crime, and Captain Malvolio Paisley,

3:06

who transforms the ship's lounge

3:09

into a courtroom and dresses

3:11

up like a judge with

3:13

a white wig and robe

3:15

and everything, and prosecutes the

3:18

offenders. These are his stories.

3:20

Then does not run away,

3:22

does not run away giggling.

3:24

Now will you come sin?

3:27

And the rest's on indigo.

3:29

Tampering with ship locking. Meekish

3:31

being lost his eye from

3:33

picking a dark trap lock.

3:36

And though Will says it's

3:38

cool, Malvolo thinks it was

3:40

cruel. Its maritime law. Lounge

3:42

becomes court room. Rosco thinks

3:45

maritime orders a shanck. Kick

3:47

a kick down shanster. Kick

3:49

brakes and two wheels room

3:51

and sail. Malvolo plays the

3:54

car. Rascalius

3:56

is a king

3:58

of the cross.

4:00

Gotta help this

4:03

fun go creature

4:05

in the cube,

4:07

gotta help it

4:10

get off. This

4:12

is maritime law.

4:15

Malvolio! And maritime

4:17

order. He's in

4:19

a robin wing.

4:22

Get hit by

4:24

a bunch of

4:26

darts just like

4:29

she meets. Maritime

4:31

crime is a

4:33

vicious never-ending cycle.

4:36

I guess that's

4:38

why we need

4:41

people like Captain

4:43

Malvolio Paisley. Because

4:45

to deal with

4:48

maritime crime, we're

4:50

always gonna need

4:52

maritime law and

4:55

order. Now

4:59

it's done always I want to

5:02

listen to it again because I

5:04

couldn't even hear like yeah I

5:06

forgot I wanted to drop the

5:09

lyrics the lyrics overlap so much

5:11

but I put him in the

5:13

I put him in the chat

5:16

in the the damn town like

5:18

mail like you were like doing

5:20

the guitar like a guitar like

5:23

a guitar like a guitar like

5:25

a guitar but like said mail

5:27

volume or something like that. I

5:30

can't remember what you said. That

5:32

was amazing. Or maritime law. I

5:35

don't remember which one it was,

5:37

but it was amazing. I love

5:39

that. All right. This is so

5:42

great. It's maritime law. It's so,

5:44

oh, it's so perfect. To be

5:46

fair, the heavy lifting had already

5:49

been done. There's a YouTube video

5:51

that I found. It was like

5:53

a silly, like law and order

5:56

with lyrics. So I said what

5:58

you'd already done. Correct. Correct. There

6:00

are no lyrics. The video was

6:03

making fun of... Oh. Are you

6:05

doing a bit, Eric? I don't

6:07

know what's going on right now.

6:10

I'm very confused. There is a,

6:12

there is a funny video. Everybody.

6:15

I'm doing a bit. It's okay.

6:17

I know that law and order

6:19

doesn't have lyrics. Everybody has to

6:22

settle down. It's fine. Eric, I

6:24

could have, I saw like the

6:26

moment of like quantum, like, it

6:29

could have gone either way. You

6:31

could have just let this flounder.

6:33

And you made the decision. You

6:36

made the subatomic particles trial on

6:38

this side of chaos. So I

6:40

appreciate it. The North Star changed

6:43

right away. Yes. Yeah, my brain

6:45

processed. No, it's so perfect. That

6:47

was amazing. Thank you. I love

6:50

it so much. Oh my gosh.

6:52

You know, not quite as thorough.

6:54

My usual recaps, but I don't

6:57

give a shit. I think it

6:59

was perfect because what the fuck

7:02

is going on even like how

7:04

thorough doesn't what is happening in

7:06

this courtroom. I warned you all

7:09

years ago against recapitulation escalation escalation.

7:11

I encouraged recap disarmament in fact.

7:13

Now we just keep one one

7:16

up each other. I appreciate that

7:18

people are being amazing and I

7:20

love that recap because I think

7:23

it was just as amazing as

7:25

all the other ones. Yeah, sure

7:27

it wasn't 10 minutes long like

7:30

that one one was like it's

7:32

I've talked out of like 12

7:34

minutes. It's amazing. It's amazing. It's

7:37

not usually two and a half

7:39

minutes. I think that you know

7:41

someone should do one with the

7:44

Seinfeld theme. Let the be at

7:46

a popcorn store for that one

7:49

to happen. This this felt like

7:51

a good like follow-up to your

7:53

sitcom one Glass food. You know

7:56

what's sad for me though is

7:58

like even though I recognize the

8:00

song I don't know the show

8:03

so I was like what the

8:05

fuck is the show? until I

8:07

heard you say it's maritime law

8:10

and then and there's no it

8:12

right from the start oh wow

8:14

even from the opening narration no

8:17

I don't know so I know

8:19

I know I know I know

8:21

I know I know I know

8:24

I know the opening narration in

8:26

terms of like sketches and like

8:29

referring to it in society but

8:31

I've never seen that show so

8:33

I was like oh what is

8:36

this show it's that crime drama

8:38

show but I don't know what

8:40

it is wow yeah I'm stupid

8:43

I guess I don't know have

8:45

you ever watched law order I

8:47

think I've seen it. It's just

8:50

kind of there. It's too ubiquitous

8:52

for me not to know it.

8:54

You know that the one episode

8:57

of the one episode of community

8:59

that spoons it, right? It's called

9:01

basic lupine urology. And it's the

9:04

one where Troy and Annie are

9:06

like detectives and I think they

9:08

investigate the is the yam. Oh,

9:11

yeah, the one I know the

9:13

yam. That's a law and order

9:16

parody. Okay. And the title is

9:18

a reference to the creator of

9:20

law and order Dick Wolf. So

9:23

basic lupine urology wolf. Nice. Very

9:25

nice. Anyway. Well, this is a

9:27

good short session. We're all going

9:30

to write a recap for it.

9:32

Why is the recap about Adam's

9:34

recap. We've probably made that joke

9:37

before just recapping the recap that

9:39

we just listened to. Yeah, you're

9:41

the DM. Are you next to

9:44

your microphone? Yeah, yeah. Can you

9:46

reach that? Do you need me?

9:48

Ah. So you pulled me over

9:51

here, but I feel like I'm

9:53

too close to your microphone now.

9:55

No, you're fine. Okay. You're fine.

9:58

I guess. I don't want you

10:00

to edit this one. Session January

10:03

5th, if we hear. Okay, I'll

10:05

move way over here and you

10:07

move over there. Why did you

10:10

pull me? So that you pull

10:12

me so that you don't have

10:14

to be on screen. No. You're

10:17

just always like half on screen.

10:19

I'm lucky because I get to

10:21

see you all the time when

10:24

you're doing your voices and your

10:26

voices and stuff. Before we get

10:28

started can you can Can you

10:31

just go back in my recap

10:33

and play at the end of

10:35

the way I say maritime crime?

10:38

I'll try if I can find

10:40

it. Or you said it or

10:43

saying it. The way I said

10:45

it. Because the deal with maritime

10:47

crime. With maritime crime. Yeah. There

10:50

we go. Maritime crime. Maritime crime.

10:52

Maritime crime. I'm sorry you guys

10:54

this is my husband. I'm not.

10:57

I'm fucking brilliant. He's in a

10:59

cage. So far my note is

11:01

Eric encouraged to recap disarmament. Oh

11:04

shoot I should have written that

11:06

down too. So we find ourselves

11:08

attending, still, the maritime trial of

11:11

Sean Indigo, the proceedings of which

11:13

are being overseen and guided and

11:15

led and run by Captain Malvolio

11:18

Paisley as the captain of the

11:20

ship. He has the necessary stuff

11:22

to be able to run one

11:25

of these things clearly. by law.

11:27

Is that like I know that

11:30

that is a thing maritime law

11:32

like can captain do they really

11:34

have just like ultimate authority when

11:37

they're on the scene can they

11:39

like no execute somebody no what

11:41

I'm just curious like how far

11:44

does the I know that's like

11:46

from a long time they can

11:48

marry people yeah I know they

11:51

can marry people that's why I'm

11:53

asking what to think what extent

11:55

do their marriage time on maritime

11:58

I thought you were gonna ask

12:00

Katie I they're gonna ask if

12:02

the necessary stuff is a movie

12:05

The necessary stuff. You know that

12:07

like the right stuff. the right

12:10

stuff do the necessary stuff oh

12:12

do the necessary thing yeah yeah

12:14

yeah okay so Roscoe re excused

12:17

himself I believe did will I

12:19

mean did mount do you mean

12:21

recuse yeah is that was called

12:24

re-excuse no we made it was

12:26

it was it was it was

12:28

a reuse no we made it

12:31

it was it was a recuse

12:33

There's a combination of recuse and

12:35

excuse. Excuse oneselfs or recuse oneself.

12:38

I think it was Adam either

12:40

intentionally misspeaking or accidentally misspeaking. I

12:42

love it. It was intentional. Okay.

12:45

I don't do anything by mistake.

12:47

I will make a note of

12:49

that. Maritime. Oh great. Valencia, we

12:52

excused himself yet. I know he

12:54

was planning on it. I had

12:57

said it, but I don't think

12:59

he did. I don't think I

13:01

left. Did I, guys? Rosco gave

13:04

you the out and you, I

13:06

think, stayed back because you, uh...

13:08

Like, I'm worried about what's happening.

13:11

I think Will just is more

13:13

like... I think I said something

13:15

like that. Like, he's more concerned

13:18

about, like, like, what's going on

13:20

here. We need to make sure

13:22

that this is... Covered

13:25

so that I don't even know

13:27

I don't know what bathwax doing

13:29

I think I'm yeah I think

13:31

I was worried about bathwax, but

13:34

I don't know I think I'm

13:36

just staying here. I think that's

13:38

what I I said all right

13:40

so the captain says so Roscoe

13:43

you are leaving or have left

13:45

just so we're I'm leaving but

13:47

so I you know yeah but

13:49

so I Adam know that bathwack

13:51

is like dying on the floor

13:54

in that room in that room

13:56

So you're just going to go.

13:58

Yeah, you're going to go take

14:00

a nap. Grasso's going to take

14:02

his sweet old time. I picture

14:05

this is a very like a

14:07

tense moment of bathwack lying there

14:09

on the brink of death. And

14:11

Roscoe just like he's the only

14:14

one here can save bathwack. He's

14:16

got the captain's keys. Swiggin' among

14:18

the bigs. Swiggin' around he drops

14:20

him. Bye, oh! Oh, this fell

14:22

out, the fishing oil. Hands over,

14:25

sees a mustard stain on his

14:27

shoe. That's with the one. Ripped

14:29

your pants. All right, so

14:31

says Captain Malvolio Paisley.

14:34

We have come now

14:36

to the time at

14:38

which the statements of

14:40

the court will be

14:43

delivered. First, I would

14:45

like to the time

14:47

at which the statements

14:49

of the court will

14:51

be delivered. First,

14:53

I would like to receive

14:56

a statement from

14:58

the assaultee. Mr.

15:02

Shimi, would you please

15:04

step forward? Who?

15:06

May? Yes, you, please. All

15:09

right, all right. Shimi, present

15:12

to us your plight, your,

15:15

this attack that was

15:17

brought upon you allegedly

15:19

by the defendant

15:22

here, the assaultor,

15:25

if you will, alleged

15:27

assaultor, Sean,

15:29

Sean Indigo. You're

15:33

not there! You're so good. You're not

15:35

allowed to laugh at this mockery. If Russia

15:37

were here, you would be, you'd be, oh

15:39

my God, really killing. Don't worry, Will is

15:41

there like this? So bad. Oh good, we'd

15:44

like to end up to you. He's putting,

15:46

I don't even know if I can

15:48

look at anybody. He's trying to look

15:50

at Rufina. Rufina is probably looking

15:53

adoringly at the captain or

15:55

something, but he's his fingers are

15:57

to his head and he's just

15:59

wide-eyed. shield his glance from

16:01

the captain if he was

16:03

looking in his direction, but

16:05

like really wide eye looking

16:07

at anybody who will make

16:09

eye contact with me except

16:12

for Sean Indigo. Do you

16:14

know what I think you

16:16

need to do? I think

16:18

you need to share your

16:20

drawing of the different will

16:22

personas. Is it really helpful?

16:24

Orin sketch? Please pick a

16:26

cool sketch of the characters

16:28

in the scene. Will, can

16:30

you do that style? Like

16:32

that would be cool. Like

16:34

with, oh man, I could

16:37

try. I could try. Yeah.

16:39

Like that pastel, watercolor, that

16:41

thing. I'm writing. But I

16:43

just, Katie is working on

16:45

a drawing of the different.

16:47

Will personas the Fred Greenman

16:49

oh nice mr. Brownman and

16:51

I'm picturing Valencia Bayesman right

16:53

now doing this gesture and

16:55

it's wonderful Why I just

16:57

love the oh you like

16:59

I'm not on the drawing

17:02

but yeah Right well so

17:04

I was walking down the

17:06

hall in the ship here

17:08

this beautiful craft the SS

17:10

Abiloni and I was admiring,

17:12

you know, how fine the

17:14

woodwork is and the walls

17:16

and the doors and whatnot

17:18

and Raffina here was with

17:20

me, my good friend Raffina.

17:22

Hi, Raffina. Hi! And, um,

17:24

I believe I stumbled a

17:26

bit or, uh, but I

17:29

just kind of knocked into

17:31

the door, Sean's door, I

17:33

learned later, and something flew

17:35

out of the lock and

17:37

it... hurt a lot it

17:39

flew right into my face

17:41

it went pew pew pew

17:43

pew apparently and into my

17:45

face were three darts that

17:47

shot out of the lock

17:49

on his door and I

17:51

fell back on my back

17:54

and I went oh what's

17:56

happening to me oh and

17:58

Rafina I was like, no,

18:00

she, me, my best friend,

18:02

no. Now he has to

18:04

roll deception. Okay. He's gonna

18:06

have to roll deception for

18:08

this. I would assume in

18:10

any place, a court of

18:12

law you'd sure make me

18:14

roll deception. Yeah, but I'm

18:16

the DM. Okay, she means

18:19

special. But he has to

18:21

fool myself. So that's okay.

18:23

Fool yourself? Yes. All right,

18:25

13 plus whatever his modifier

18:27

is. Good to know. And

18:29

she used her magical healing

18:31

power. She's a magical healer,

18:33

by the way. She's really

18:35

good at it. When she

18:37

decides she wants to heal

18:39

someone, or she heals them

18:41

right up. But this one

18:43

dart was right in this

18:46

eye. You see how gross

18:48

and ugly this eye is.

18:50

It also kind of makes

18:52

me look cool. Well, the

18:54

dart was just stuck in

18:56

there, and it hurt real

18:58

bad. It still kind of

19:00

hurts. But Rafina made it

19:02

feel mostly better. And she

19:04

got all the darts out

19:06

of darts out of me.

19:08

But I can't see out

19:11

of this eye. And that's

19:13

a severe impairment. I've only,

19:15

I'm only 14 years through

19:17

my life. Hopefully that hasn't

19:19

been established as something else

19:21

canon. Or if it has,

19:23

hopefully I was right. But

19:25

otherwise, that's how old I

19:27

am, but also I could

19:29

be lying. You never know.

19:31

Anyway, so. That's what happened,

19:33

and then we went to

19:35

find the captain here to

19:38

tell him what happened and

19:40

to tell him what a

19:42

dangerous thing was here in

19:44

the ship that this man,

19:46

pointing at Sean, perpetrated because

19:48

we later find out that

19:50

that was his room door.

19:52

Right? Yeah, sure, okay, that's

19:54

my statement. Now Volley goes

19:56

he starts clapping You're not

19:58

there Adam He didn't make

20:00

a noise, but he made

20:03

a face, everybody. Can I,

20:05

can I, can I, like,

20:07

it's legit. It is very

20:09

funny that he's clapping for

20:11

this testimony. Can I, I

20:13

think I rolled last time,

20:15

but maybe I, I don't

20:17

really remember. Is this guy,

20:19

like, has this his first

20:21

time ever doing this? Does

20:23

he have no idea what

20:25

he's doing? Or is he

20:28

trying to be nice to

20:30

refina? Is that, would that

20:32

be an insight roll? All

20:34

right. Doot. Doot. Did it

20:36

work? Yeah. Oh, the 3D

20:38

dice are super laggy for

20:40

me. I wonder why. Thirteen.

20:42

Same as Shimi. Ooh. Well,

20:44

I mean, he rolled a

20:46

13 plus whatever is. I

20:48

didn't see my modifier was.

20:50

Oh, wait, an eight. But

20:52

I have a 13. It's

20:55

a 13. It's a 13.

20:57

He doesn't appear nervous. That

20:59

does I mean, maybe

21:01

he's just comfortable in

21:03

this role no matter

21:06

what I don't know

21:08

with a 13 you'd

21:10

be able to know

21:12

if he's done this

21:14

before it doesn't seem

21:16

like any judge you've

21:18

seen or any kind

21:20

of court proceedings though

21:22

you've I think Tavoli

21:24

probably has had its

21:26

fair share of kangaroo

21:28

courts You I mean

21:30

As always, you think

21:32

he's trying to be

21:34

nice to or do

21:37

a favor for or

21:39

impress Rafina. Okay. Whether

21:41

that's all this is,

21:43

you don't know. Okay.

21:45

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

21:47

Captain Melvio clapped. Yeah.

21:49

Very good she me

21:51

very good. I'm sorry

21:53

for the injury you

21:55

have received. We'll certainly

21:57

get to the bottom

21:59

of this now I

22:01

need a statement from

22:03

the previously mentioned assault

22:05

her. Sean indigo. He

22:07

turns to Sean who's

22:10

still in this cage

22:12

if you recall over

22:14

to the right of

22:16

the the judge's bench.

22:18

He says Sean what

22:20

do you have to

22:22

say for yourself? Huh!

22:24

Well let me get

22:26

into the voice. Australia

22:29

is not a place...

22:31

God I hope Sean

22:33

Indigo dies. I don't

22:35

know what you're on

22:37

about. Yeah that's my

22:39

room. I don't know

22:41

what he was doing

22:43

bumping up against the

22:45

door but I mean

22:47

I'm allowed to to

22:49

ensure that my goods

22:51

and my my space

22:53

might is to cure

22:55

against Thaves and and

22:58

nadu wealth I got

23:00

high quality high high

23:02

value belongings in maroon

23:04

along with my boomerangs

23:06

and So I'm just

23:08

trying to get I

23:10

keep wanting to go

23:12

into Shimi. It's almost

23:14

like they're identical except

23:16

for when I say

23:18

things that have to

23:20

do with Australia in

23:22

Shimi's accent But I'd

23:24

say that a bloke

23:26

is entitled to privacy

23:28

and security. I don't

23:30

remember of a sign

23:32

and nothing from this

23:34

here saying that I

23:37

had to not tamper

23:39

with Medore. I think

23:41

I would have read

23:43

something like that and

23:45

had something to say

23:47

about it. I think

23:49

you'll find that I'm

23:51

in the clear here.

23:53

If someone had to

23:55

find themselves tampering with

23:57

my door, accidental or

23:59

otherwise, that that's on

24:01

then. So you have

24:03

no insurance. Some Steve

24:05

Bonnet there near the

24:07

end. Some privacy? safeguards

24:09

for if this were

24:11

if this happens especially

24:14

to a young child

24:16

I mean he said

24:18

he's 14 Sheila young

24:20

I mean that's it's

24:22

Venus Venus stamps her

24:24

foot didn't I see

24:26

you giving him alcohol

24:28

earlier to that young

24:30

child? Objection! They both

24:32

touch their fingers on

24:34

the piano. They fist

24:36

bump now, okay. You're

24:38

the DM. All right.

24:40

Do you hold your

24:42

fist out? He'll fist

24:44

bump you. Oh man,

24:46

is that what she

24:48

would do? Yes, but

24:51

it's more that she's

24:53

all riled up, so

24:55

she punches a little

24:57

too hard. She shakes

24:59

his fist a little

25:01

bit, but smiles. This

25:03

is all terrible. We

25:05

yes, this is all

25:07

a lie. Yes, it

25:09

is. And Will is,

25:11

Will is very aware

25:13

of that. And is,

25:15

and, and honestly, like,

25:17

all of this again,

25:19

like, Will is like,

25:21

okay with it because

25:23

yeah, he's been a

25:25

part of probably something

25:28

similar. He doesn't, you

25:30

know, this moral compass

25:32

stuff, this is not,

25:34

he's not going to

25:36

care. We need to

25:38

do stuff that's more

25:40

important than this guy.

25:42

It doesn't matter what

25:44

happens as this happens

25:46

as this happens to

25:48

this guy. But he

25:50

is. fairness and

25:52

like we're on a boat

25:54

with this guy and if

25:56

this guy is like a

25:58

maniacal power-hungry weirdo or if

26:00

he's literally just like trying

26:02

to impress Rufina with this?

26:04

It's so weird. Will is

26:06

paying close attention, Roscoe. Don't

26:08

worry. I've got an idea.

26:10

I've got a compelling argument.

26:12

How about instead of a

26:14

moral compass? Like, like, everybody

26:16

keep in mind this is

26:18

intentional. Not accidental. Go on.

26:20

This is not, this is

26:22

not, actually not building up

26:24

to a joke. This could

26:26

actually be an interesting, instead

26:28

of a moral compass that

26:30

like points north, how about

26:32

like a moral compass like

26:34

the thing that you draw

26:36

a circle with? That way

26:38

you get to control the

26:40

bounds of your morality. That's

26:42

a much more interesting moral

26:44

compass. Overroll! Sustained! Double sustained!

26:47

Yeah, yeah, sustain all

26:49

you want, but the

26:51

other thing is never

26:53

happened before No, because

26:55

here's the other thing

26:58

I Sort of insinuated

27:00

there Sheila that The

27:02

door was bumped into

27:04

No, no, the lock

27:06

would not have disengaged

27:08

its defense mechanisms Unless

27:10

it'd been tampered with

27:12

been tampered with Intentionally.

27:14

Defined tamper. You gotta

27:16

get something in there.

27:18

You gotta be jiggling

27:20

and jimmying around in

27:22

the lock. Was it,

27:24

was it something found

27:26

on the, on the

27:28

assaultee? People of the

27:30

court. What, what's that, Rafita? says

27:32

Malvolio. What are you asking? Was

27:34

anything found at the scene or

27:37

on the child that could have

27:39

been jiggled? Oh, that's a good

27:41

point. We never searched. The the

27:43

assaultee Shimi if you would present

27:45

yourself we will we will do

27:47

a thorough search of your personage

27:50

Wait, wait, wait, why are you

27:52

doing a thorough search of? Well,

27:54

Rufina said that we should check

27:56

to see if there was anything

27:58

that could be used to Jimmy

28:01

I look in Shimi's eyes. Does

28:03

he look nervous at all? Yes,

28:05

he's carrying something. Yes. All right,

28:07

listen, this is a child in

28:09

my, where I come from. Well,

28:11

I mean, he's 14, as he

28:14

is so profess. 14 is a

28:16

child where I come from, is

28:18

that not a child where you

28:20

come from? Well, I mean, there

28:22

are, I have crew members that

28:24

are 14. Captain Malvolio Paisley, is

28:27

that how you accept guests on

28:29

your ship without having anyone pay?

28:31

I don't know what you're saying.

28:33

Use child labor. No one's currently

28:35

14, but some of them were

28:38

14 when they started. Oh, yes,

28:40

of course they are All right.

28:42

Anyway, I'm just saying that this

28:44

is the victim and this is

28:46

like the second time at one

28:48

point Rufina suggested and as a

28:51

you know As a what? She's

28:53

not a judge your honor something

28:55

in the hall at the scene

28:57

of the crime that would have

28:59

fallen down because certainly he wouldn't

29:02

have Sorry, there's a stink bug.

29:04

I'm like a distraction, that's what

29:06

I do. I'm like, what? Those

29:08

big fat bugs? They are huge

29:10

when they fly around. They're giant

29:12

when they fly. Holy crap. Like

29:15

a hotel. Anyway, I keep going

29:17

back to it. Yes, they fly

29:19

around in that or something. Yes,

29:21

they really are. Yes, it's terrifying.

29:23

A tax illness. So, okay. So

29:25

anyway, Rufina says, we should just

29:28

see, certainly. The child would have

29:30

dropped whatever he was allegedly jamming

29:32

into the lock in order to

29:34

tamper with it. I'm just saying.

29:36

We could just ask. We could

29:39

ask him too. Let's ask Jimmy.

29:41

What? What are you asking? If

29:43

I... No, I said. I wasn't

29:45

Jimmy and nothing. Did you drop

29:47

anything at the scene or did

29:49

you have anything with you? I

29:52

was I was severely maimed. I

29:54

could have dropped everything. Who knows?

29:56

But I don't Jimmy with locks.

29:58

I don't tamper with... If nothing,

30:00

well, I think we should do a

30:03

search. Now, Shimi, step up here. I'm

30:05

gonna, I wanna press to digitate

30:07

like the sound of a knock

30:09

on the door. Okay. Go ahead.

30:11

It's not a roll, right? No, it's

30:13

not a roll. Which door? Either door,

30:16

it doesn't matter. Whatever's

30:18

closest to me. I don't even know

30:20

where I am. I have no

30:23

idea where I'm sitting or

30:25

anything. All right. There's only

30:27

two doors, right headed in. I

30:29

just correct the back of the

30:31

room. Lock a lock on the

30:33

door. Pick a lock knock.

30:35

Okay, so you press the

30:38

digititate a knock on the door. We're

30:40

going to take a pause. We're

30:42

going to check in with

30:44

the rickscusee. Re-excusey.

30:47

Rosco La Flua. Hello,

30:49

Rosco. You've left the

30:51

courtroom. These proceedings,

30:53

these formal... Serious proceedings

30:56

are going on behind

30:58

you without your knowledge.

31:00

What are you doing? Yeah, heading

31:02

for that, heading for Sean's

31:05

room. Okay, okay. With a,

31:07

you know, I was listing

31:09

a couple of, like, distractions

31:11

that might have cropped up

31:13

and then, I don't know how

31:15

many keys are on this key

31:18

ring. A lot. Um, ten. It's

31:20

not enough. Forty? Forty?

31:22

Yeah, that's great. One

31:24

million. Let's go

31:26

of 40. Rasko

31:28

tries every key

31:30

except the, before

31:32

getting to the

31:35

right one. Okay.

31:37

Not that one.

31:39

Oh, this one

31:41

don't fit. Not

31:43

this one either.

31:46

That's three. Okay,

31:48

how about this

31:50

one? No. No. No.

31:53

All right, I'm gonna try

31:55

six all at once. Nope,

31:57

none of those worked. Well,

32:01

it was taking forever to get

32:03

in this door. These keys. All

32:05

right, then you try one in

32:08

it and it works. But you

32:10

don't recognize it and you try

32:12

the rest. And then you think

32:14

it's the last one, but it's

32:17

the last one, but it was

32:19

like the 10th one that actually

32:21

happened. So I have to circle

32:24

back. Oh, no, it worked. You

32:26

just really realize it. You were

32:28

lack. Oh, it's a lot. Creek!

32:32

The door opens. And

32:34

you are in his

32:36

room. You see that

32:38

the other door in

32:40

sort of the back

32:42

right corner is open,

32:45

which was not the

32:47

case before when you

32:49

left here. That's curious.

32:51

The fungal creature is

32:53

still there. Yeah, you

32:55

look and he's where

32:58

he was before with

33:00

his his arm appendages

33:02

pushed in a supplicatory

33:04

manner against the glass

33:06

and you hear you're

33:09

back. Oh, in your

33:11

head. Yeah, I'm back.

33:13

I didn't I tell

33:15

you? Did I forget

33:17

if I did or

33:19

not, but I thought

33:22

that I like said

33:24

before I left. I'll

33:26

be back. Did I

33:28

do it like I

33:30

did it a bit

33:33

before? Creature? I mean,

33:35

you probably did a

33:37

bit. I don't know

33:39

which one though. Okay.

33:41

Well, I'm back. Anyway,

33:43

what's going on in

33:46

here? Are you sure

33:48

you don't know what

33:50

an albert is? No,

33:52

what is it? Ah,

33:54

this thing. I'm gonna

33:57

look around a bit,

33:59

but I'm coming for

34:01

you. In a good

34:03

way, like I'm going

34:05

to help you get...

34:07

home. Yeah. Rescue's gonna

34:10

go over and check

34:12

out what's going on

34:14

over here. Okay. So

34:16

it's it's pretty dark,

34:18

but you see in

34:21

the doorway and on

34:23

the floor beyond there

34:25

is a figure laying

34:27

prone face down. Hmm.

34:29

Hey, creature. Do you

34:31

know who that is?

34:34

I don't. They came

34:36

in. through a hole.

34:38

Describe him. Big, green,

34:40

asleep. A kick is

34:42

green, right? Yeah. Roscoe's

34:44

gonna go over. He'll,

34:47

he'll, very consciously, investigate

34:49

the person. Do we

34:51

recognize it as kick

34:53

if he goes in?

34:55

Yes, he needs to

34:58

create a light. A

35:01

light source. He'll do that

35:03

with some kind of spell

35:05

that he has. Adam's like

35:08

I'm playing PFD right now.

35:10

Yeah. Do you have a

35:12

spell that makes light? Roscoe.

35:15

I'm reasonably sure that I

35:17

do. Yes. I just need

35:19

to. He's like I go

35:21

to my terrarium and I

35:24

pull out a flashlight. Hey.

35:26

There's lots of terrariums in

35:28

here though. Oh circuit, circary,

35:31

I'm circus. Oh man, I

35:33

totally bid that one. He's

35:35

got pressed agitation, that does

35:38

it, right? It can make

35:40

like some lights, I think.

35:42

Yeah, unfortunately it's not like

35:45

a fountain of sparks or

35:47

something. Yeah. But not like

35:49

a persistent light source. You've

35:52

used like fairy fire before,

35:54

but I think that's for

35:56

that's for fighting. Fairy fires

35:59

for fighting. Five for fighting,

36:01

fairy fires for fighting. You

36:03

got it. What about druidcraft?

36:06

You create a tiny harmless

36:08

sensory effect that predicts what...

36:10

I do not understand the

36:13

purpose of this spell. That

36:15

predicts what the weather will

36:17

be at your location for

36:20

the next 24 hours. Abby

36:22

has one of those. I

36:24

love it! The effect might

36:27

manifest as a golden orb

36:29

for clear skies. This is

36:31

just a forecast. This is

36:34

what I should have named

36:36

my weather station. I should

36:38

have called it Druidcraft. Or,

36:40

oh no, you create a

36:43

tiny harmless sensory. It's like

36:45

pressed a digitation. It's like

36:47

that. Or you instantly light

36:50

or snuff out a candle,

36:52

a torch, or a small

36:54

campfire. Yeah, exactly. You see

36:57

the shadowy outline of a

36:59

candle on a table nearby.

37:01

Poof. All right, a warm,

37:04

a st. Hey, hey, poison.

37:06

All right, so you can

37:08

see with the light of

37:11

the candle that this person

37:13

is certainly dressed in kicks

37:15

clothes. That's for sure. They've

37:18

got the big floppy hat

37:20

on their head, those. You

37:22

can't really see their face.

37:25

Do I see darts in

37:27

the body? You'd have to

37:29

do a. like a give

37:32

me an investigation or yeah

37:34

yeah yeah yeah I'm gonna

37:36

investigate investigation or like medicine

37:39

I know this person now

37:41

you know they're laying there

37:43

I mean if you want

37:46

to find out if they're

37:48

dead that's a medicine let's

37:50

do investigation first tip the

37:53

hat up a little bit,

37:55

you see that this person

37:57

is and looks like that.

38:01

What? No longer like this.

38:03

No, yeah. Right, because he

38:05

got hurt, I think. I

38:07

was expecting that. Hey, he

38:10

tries to wake him up,

38:12

he tries to shake him

38:14

awake. And if he doesn't

38:16

wake up, he'll, he doesn't

38:18

immediately rouse, no. All right,

38:20

Roscoe's officially consigned. Oh, and

38:23

I'll try medicine check. Let's

38:25

see. Did you have a

38:27

question? I have a question.

38:29

Did you close the door

38:31

when you went in this

38:33

room? Or did you say

38:36

that? I would have closed

38:38

it behind the outside area.

38:40

I just realized that if

38:42

I'm making a knocking sound,

38:44

I'm worried that if they

38:47

open the door, they'll just

38:49

open the door and see

38:51

you in there. Well, I'd

38:53

have been a reason why.

38:55

I guess that's why I

38:57

was, that's why I switched

39:00

when I did. I was

39:02

just curious. for the continuity

39:04

of the reality we're living

39:06

in. All right, with a

39:08

16, he is not dead.

39:10

He is either asleep or

39:13

unconscious. And you do find

39:15

there is a trio of

39:17

darts sticking out of his

39:19

left hip. All right. Rusker's

39:21

thinking, he's about to take

39:23

the darts out. And then

39:26

he. It's

39:28

not gonna... Do you think

39:30

you have to frame him

39:32

or something? You have to

39:34

pee on it first. Beyond

39:36

what? The darts. Oh, the

39:38

wounds? Yeah. I'm thinking about

39:41

like dragging him out into

39:43

the hallway. Yeah, you should.

39:45

See, it happened again. That's

39:47

what I would do. Hell

39:49

yeah. Hell yeah. I will

39:51

remind you. He looks like

39:53

backwhack. Right, that's true. So,

39:55

Roscoe's going to, uh, take

39:57

the... Darts out I guess

39:59

and Cast, he's

40:01

done this a couple

40:03

times now, so he's

40:06

used to doing it,

40:08

a balm of the

40:10

summer court. Okay. On

40:12

Rasker, or on Bathway.

40:15

On Self. It's too

40:17

stressful. So I choose

40:19

an ally and a

40:21

number of those dice

40:24

equal to half my

40:26

druid level. So I

40:28

roll a D6. Okay.

40:30

Five. H-P.P. Nice. So

40:33

you give him five

40:35

hit points. All right.

40:37

Now. Bathwack. Are you

40:39

with me? Oh. Yes.

40:42

All right. So I'm

40:44

asleep. Right. So. You

40:46

walk through the door

40:48

and you got these

40:51

darts and you just.

40:53

Fell out. Fell out.

40:55

Fell cold. Face down.

40:57

Face down. Bathwack.

41:00

You find yourself

41:03

standing in the

41:06

middle of a

41:09

long, long hallway.

41:12

Now, this hallway

41:15

looks mostly familiar

41:18

to you. You

41:21

think you are...

41:25

In a hall or at

41:27

least a hall in the

41:30

style of a hall a

41:32

hall in the style of

41:35

a hall in the style

41:37

of a hall from In

41:40

the style of a hall

41:42

in the style of a

41:44

hall It's because we like

41:47

you I know I'm not

41:49

offended don't don't rub my

41:52

leg like I'm offended is

41:54

it it's it's it's It's

41:57

a hall in the style

41:59

of a hall. H-A-U-L. Hall.

42:02

It's a hall of fish.

42:04

It's a hall in the

42:06

style of a hall and

42:09

note song. We're on a

42:11

boat. It's a hall. H-U-L-L.

42:14

Oh, yes. All right. Enough,

42:16

you knuckle-hand. I'm sorry. A

42:19

hall in the style of

42:21

a hall. The hallway of

42:24

the boat. A hall from.

42:26

The Royal Palace of Gully's

42:28

End. You can recognize it's

42:31

the same sort of carved

42:33

stone walls, floors, ceiling, carved

42:36

out of the cliff sides

42:38

of Gully's End. The physics

42:41

of the hall are strange

42:43

because it's this straight long

42:46

hallway that goes on almost

42:48

maybe seems like forever in

42:50

both directions. And also, the

42:53

decorations, the adornments in the

42:55

hall are different than you

42:58

remember. You're used to these

43:00

sort of like muted color.

43:03

Not somber, but just sort

43:05

of calm, peaceful like wall

43:08

hangings and things like that.

43:10

This wall, these walls are

43:12

festooned with these garish reds

43:15

and yellows. And the hall

43:17

is just lined with doors

43:20

on both sides in both

43:22

directions. I

43:26

must be dreaming. You

43:28

don't remember being shot

43:30

with darts. You can't

43:32

really remember what happened

43:35

before. You just know

43:37

you're here. I was

43:39

looking for something. Does

43:41

the hallway go on?

43:43

I mean, can I

43:46

see the end of

43:48

it? No. It's

43:52

relatively well lit. There's sconces

43:54

on both sides. It's just

43:56

seems like it's far and

43:58

doors on both sides you

44:00

said Yeah like doors lining

44:02

both both walls of the

44:05

hall in the style of

44:07

a hall. I think I

44:09

was trying to find something.

44:11

I've been. When was I

44:13

here? Everything's different. I'm gonna

44:15

open the first door. All

44:17

right you go up to

44:19

the door to try to

44:21

open it and there's not

44:23

even a knob to grab

44:25

the door. It's like It's

44:27

almost like it's painted into

44:29

the rock wall. It's like

44:31

a, it's, you don't see

44:34

any paint. It's just like,

44:36

as you get close, it's

44:38

like an optical illusion that

44:40

resolves itself. And it's just

44:42

a rock face that looks

44:44

like a door vaguely from

44:46

this close up. Oh. This

44:48

one same thing is just

44:50

a surface. And you can

44:52

keep going door door door

44:54

surface surface surface and you

44:56

can you keep going down

44:58

the the hallway all the

45:00

doors are. not doors. As

45:03

you're going, you feel like

45:05

you're noticing you hear some

45:07

like loud noises. Like usually

45:09

the hallways in Gully's End,

45:11

especially in the the palace,

45:13

are very, very quiet, very

45:15

still. You hear like there's

45:17

some noise like as if

45:19

it's maybe outside, something happening,

45:21

like not necessarily bad, just

45:23

noisy. You can't really make

45:25

out what it is just

45:27

off in the distance. If

45:30

you keep going, the doors

45:32

continue, and as you're going,

45:34

you're not sure how long

45:36

this has been going if

45:38

it's been like a minute

45:40

or five minutes or an

45:42

hour, but as you're going,

45:44

you realize that the torches,

45:46

the sconces in the wall

45:48

are starting to gutter a

45:50

little bit. The lights getting

45:52

a little... dimmer and if

45:54

you look back the way

45:56

you came you can see

45:59

like off of the distance

46:01

some of the torches where

46:03

you were are starting to

46:05

actually go out. Oh I'm

46:07

gonna read I always carry

46:09

a torch I'm gonna get

46:11

one out of my pack.

46:13

Okay you you get one

46:15

out of your pack and

46:17

you try to light it

46:19

and you try and try

46:21

and you can't light it

46:23

you even stick it up

46:26

to a torch it just

46:28

will not light. I

46:31

know magic. I'm gonna

46:33

try to, um, crap.

46:35

Who knows what? Who

46:37

knows what I know?

46:39

I feel like if

46:42

I say a prayer,

46:44

something will light up.

46:46

I have a sword,

46:48

don't I? I feel

46:50

around for my sword.

46:52

I must have a

46:54

sword. Yeah. You have

46:56

your sword. It's bigger

46:58

than you remember. Ideally.

47:02

Yeah, so I don't

47:04

know, I'm gonna say

47:06

whatever prayer seems natural.

47:09

Okay. I'm trying to

47:11

make my sword glow.

47:13

Right. So you make

47:15

this, this prayer, try

47:17

to invoke this holy

47:20

energy and from the

47:22

hand, not holding the

47:24

sword, a bolt of...

47:26

energy that you recognize

47:28

it's an Eldridge blast

47:30

shoots out and crashes

47:33

into one of the

47:35

torches and completely disintegrates

47:37

it and the hallway

47:39

is even darker than

47:41

it was before. Oh

47:44

I'm horrified. You feel

47:46

like the darkness is

47:48

encroaching from behind? This

47:50

doesn't feel right. This

47:52

reminds me of something.

47:55

Did I kill somebody?

47:57

I need to keep

47:59

walking. I need to leave. I can't.

48:01

I'm not finding what I'm looking

48:03

for here. Yeah. So with that thought

48:05

to leave, you turn away from sort

48:08

of the approaching darkness and almost right

48:10

in front of you, like this was

48:12

not there before, but it suddenly is

48:15

there, and it makes sense, but it

48:17

must have been there, or it is

48:19

there now, and that's just the way

48:21

it is. It's these massive set of

48:24

double doors, which you recognize as the

48:26

doors to the throne room in the

48:28

palace, but there... Like 10 times

48:31

bigger than the

48:33

already massive doors

48:35

that you remember

48:38

Oh, I can't the palace

48:40

they'll kill me

48:42

I can't be here

48:44

And as you think

48:47

that the doors start

48:49

to swing open away

48:51

from you into the

48:54

into the room beyond

48:56

No, I mean I want

48:58

to Go the other way

49:00

and I feel like We need

49:02

to leave like my whole

49:04

family we need to leave now

49:07

and so you You think of

49:09

your family and the door

49:11

opens and you see

49:14

the throne room beyond as

49:16

you remember it still festoon

49:19

with these garish colors and

49:21

there's these lights that are

49:24

all these riotous and

49:26

almost neon neon torches

49:29

or flickering and illuminating the room

49:31

and obviously strobe like pattern. And

49:33

you see at the far end

49:36

of the room stands the

49:38

the throne and there is a

49:40

figure seated in the throne. It's

49:43

a massive figure ensconced in full

49:45

plate armor. And on either side

49:47

of the throne, there's two

49:49

seats and one on either side

49:51

of either side of the throne.

49:53

There's two seats and one on

49:55

either side. And each of them,

49:57

and each of them sits two

49:59

figures. mostly in shadow

50:01

with bowed heads, but

50:03

they are of the

50:05

size and dressed in

50:07

clothes in which you

50:09

remember seeing your wife

50:11

and child. Oh. And

50:13

then I have a

50:15

feeling like maybe I

50:17

need to look different.

50:19

Maybe I need to

50:21

look different. Maybe I'll.

50:23

pretend I am someone

50:25

else, since I shouldn't

50:28

be here and I

50:30

can't give myself away.

50:32

Maybe I look like

50:34

a fisherman. Okay. All

50:36

right, so yeah, you

50:38

look down and you

50:40

are wearing sandals and

50:42

the most boring pants

50:44

you've ever seen. You

50:46

see a, a, a,

50:48

a, a, a, a,

50:50

a, a, a, a,

50:52

a, a, a, a,

50:54

a, a, a, a,

50:56

a, a, You feel

50:58

a hat almost plopped

51:00

down on top of

51:02

your head and you

51:04

can see the snout

51:06

protrude from in front

51:08

of your eyes. Of

51:10

course, well anyway, Alex

51:12

is concerned, but this

51:14

is what Bethuck would

51:16

do. Like if I'm

51:18

trying to hide from

51:20

anyone who's powerful enough

51:22

to get into my

51:24

dreams that I'm hosed.

51:26

But anyway, yeah. All

51:28

right, so maybe. Maybe

51:30

I can approach this

51:32

way they won't know

51:34

who I am. Okay.

51:36

So you start to

51:38

approach the the throne

51:40

and the the plated

51:42

the armored figure begins

51:44

to laugh. There's a

51:46

deep booming laugh. Do

51:48

I recognize the laugh?

51:50

That's Bouser from Mario

51:52

64. What? It's Bouser

51:54

from Mario 64.

51:56

So long,

51:58

King Bowser!

52:00

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52:06

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52:08

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52:12

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