Today I talk about process of losing my mother, who passed away last month.

I think my overriding feelings are twofold:

I’m feeling great fatigue. Bone tired fatigue. The kind that a good night’s sleep doesn’t relieve. I’m tired from the myriad details pressed upon all survivors. I’m tired from the ever-present uppermost thoughts in my mind to set a good example for my grandchildren – to show them that even through the death of our beloved matriarch, there are rituals and traditions to comfort our shattered heats, calm our fears, and guide us through the discomfort and unknown. And I’m tired from responding graciously and authentically to the many whose lives my mother touched and whose death leaves an immense void.

I’m also relieved. My mom was a free-spirited, decisive woman who had had a rough year. And I had spent many days tormenting myself over her living far from her children and grandchildren – though her choice – but having too much responsibility for advocating for her own care. As a wise friend counseled me, “When a parent dies, we all feel like what we’ve done is ‘never enough.’”

ABOUT

The Preserving Your Bloom podcast is hosted by Iris Ruth Pastor who you can find at the following places:

http://irisruthpastor.com
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Her new book: The Secret Life of a Weight-Obsessed Woman: Wisdom to Live the Life You Crave