0:00

This episode was found wandering the halls

0:02

of BBC Broadcasting House late at night.

0:05

All it would say is, appointment

0:07

with fear my friends. Appointment

0:10

with fear. Listen

0:14

to it. Sudepod,

0:19

Episode 949. November 15th, 2024. This

0:26

week's story, Less Exalted Tastes,

0:29

by Jammer Amore. Narrated by

0:31

Barry J. Northern. Hosted by

0:33

Alistair Stewart. With audio

0:35

production by Chelsea Davis. Welcome

0:40

to Sudepod, the weekly horror podcast folks.

0:42

I'm Alistair, your host, and this week's

0:44

story is part of our regular anthology

0:46

and collection showcase and comes to us

0:49

from the excellent Jammer Amore. And

0:51

it first appeared in the 2024 collection

0:54

All Who Wander Are Lost. Jammer

0:57

is a Bram Stoker Award nominated author,

0:59

voice actor and illustrator based in Bristol.

1:02

Her debut short story collection Cruel Works of Nature

1:04

came out in 2018. Other

1:07

books include Dear Laura, White Pines,

1:09

Six Rooms, Girl on Fire, and

1:11

These Wounds We Make. She

1:13

is the co-creator of horror comedy

1:15

podcast Calling Darkness starring Kate Siegel,

1:18

and her stories feature many times

1:20

on popular horror anthology shows, the

1:22

No Sleep podcast Shadows at the

1:24

Door, Creepy, The Hidden

1:26

Frequencies, and The Grey Rooms. She

1:28

also appears in a number of print anthologies

1:31

and has made numerous podcast appearances to date.

1:33

She's also a friend of mine, and she's

1:35

really cool. And I'm so excited to have

1:37

this story here with you this week. Your

1:41

narrator this week is another friend of mine,

1:43

Barry J. Northern, a long time friend and

1:45

contributor of Escape Artists as a whole. He

1:48

created Cast of Wonders before it became

1:50

part of the EA family, ran the

1:52

Cast of Macabre podcast, which now only

1:54

exists in internet history, and wrote to

1:56

the pseudopod episode Corvus Curse. So.

2:00

Knock on the door and stand well back, because

2:02

whether you want it to or not, it's

2:04

already open, and inside awaits

2:08

the truth. Less

2:15

Exalted Tastes by Gemma Amor.

2:18

Narrated by Barry J. Norman. John

2:22

Guthrie stood at the end of a long

2:25

gravel driveway and stared in unadulterated joy at

2:27

the largest mansion he'd ever seen. In

2:30

the meagre light of an autumn

2:32

day, the scrolled corbells, smooth limestone

2:34

ashlar and innumerable sash windows of

2:36

the house shone with promise. A promise

2:38

picked out in high relief by

2:40

a fleeting sun, and occasionally fought its

2:43

way through heavy, rain-laden clouds. A

2:46

storm was coming. The trees

2:48

around him rustled, with a quiet anticipation

2:50

that he, in his excitable state, could

2:52

not hear. All

2:55

John Guthrie could hear was the sound

2:57

of money singing. He

3:00

wet his lips, looked again at the sales

3:02

pamphlet he carried. The name of

3:04

the property was typed out in bold capitals, the

3:06

Roost. Beneath, a cut-and-paste

3:08

history lesson. John had

3:10

skimmed it twice already. Formally

3:12

a bishop's palace, now privately owned, the Roost

3:15

was built in 1770, after the Great Famine.

3:19

It was sold by the church ten

3:21

years later to an Anglo-Irish absentee landlord

3:23

who chose to reside in England, leasing

3:26

the house to a cruel and entitled

3:28

plantation owner called Edward Daly, who regularly

3:30

beat and abused the slaves he brought

3:32

with him until the master of the

3:34

house was, in turn, beaten to death

3:36

one night by the members of a

3:38

secret peasant society from a nearby village

3:40

called the Red Boys, owing

3:42

to the fact they wore red smocks to whilst

3:44

out on nightly raids. These

3:47

vigilantes had been angry with the

3:49

extortionate rents Daly's landlord had enforced

3:51

upon purchasing the estate. Daly

3:54

was strung up by the neck over the front

3:56

door of the Roost with his own whip, britches

3:58

down around his ankles. The

4:00

men and women he'd enslaved ran like

4:02

water down the pane of glass, fleet-footed

4:04

and full of terror through the shadows

4:06

of the grounds, silently and

4:08

swiftly making their bid for a life

4:10

away from the wants and needs and

4:13

tempers of a man who had no

4:15

right to their freedom. After

4:17

that, the house fell into disrepair

4:20

and remained abandoned for decades. Perhaps

4:23

this is why it escaped the house-burning

4:25

mania of 1919, when

4:28

hundreds of Irish country houses were

4:30

destroyed during the War of Independence.

4:33

Not much point burning down something that was

4:35

already a ruin. Eventually,

4:37

the estate was auctioned off to a

4:39

wealthy family from New York whose descendants

4:41

still live there today. As

4:44

far as John could see, the current generation

4:46

had not invested in repairs or upkeep of

4:48

any sort, preferring to exist

4:50

in a much less exalted state than

4:53

he would have considered tenable for such

4:55

famously affluent people. Not

4:57

that John Guthrie cared about any of this,

4:59

even after a third reading. All

5:02

he knew was the building was well

5:04

situated near a major road and ideally

5:06

suited to development. He could

5:08

easily slice the roost up into at least

5:10

ten apartments, perhaps more at a squeeze, all

5:12

of which would make him a pretty pot

5:14

in monthly rent. City folk

5:17

would eat them up, he knew it. It'd

5:19

market the place as luxury living, scrub

5:22

the controversial stuff from the history of the

5:24

house with tactful marketing copy. John

5:26

blew his cheeks out and rubled his fingers

5:28

around the edges of the pamphlet. If

5:31

he could land this, he was pretty sure he was

5:33

about to make a fortune. But

5:35

first, he had an appointment with the

5:37

owner and certain Miss Valerie Compton Dubois.

5:40

John had heard a fair amount of gossip about the

5:43

current mistress since the house went on the market. Miss

5:45

Dubois was rarely seen in public,

5:48

was extraordinarily difficult to get hold

5:50

of via any of the usual

5:52

modern communication methods, and seemed to

5:54

pride herself on being unpredictable and

5:56

capricious. John figured

5:58

he knew what was behind it. her behaviour?

6:01

Shame! Pure and simple! How

6:03

could it be anything else? All that

6:05

old money frittered away, certainly

6:07

not spent on maintaining the vast pile of

6:09

bricks and mortar before him. Mr.

6:12

Bois had created nothing beyond a legacy

6:14

of debt and decay and the beginnings

6:16

of the end of her dynasty. John

6:20

could fairly smell the sad scent rotting

6:22

Luca from where he stood some distance

6:24

off, all of which meant

6:27

he had the advantage if he could leverage

6:29

it properly. He could knock the

6:31

asking price right down, he had no qualms about

6:33

doing so, it was good business. He

6:35

walked up the drive and made notes on the

6:37

edges of his pamphlet in red biro. Driveway

6:40

resurfaced, tree surging, new perimeter

6:43

wall and fencing, security

6:45

gates. The roost which

6:47

sat in a tree-choked enclave of giant

6:50

oaks seemed in far better condition at

6:52

a distance than it did up close.

6:55

The closer he got, the more

6:57

his heart sank. The west

6:59

wing of the mansion had subsided considerably.

7:02

John could see several large structural cracks

7:04

in the masonry along with a sagging

7:06

roof right at the very end of

7:08

the wing, a sure sign of rotted

7:10

joists. He wondered how bad the

7:12

rooms were in that section. The

7:14

whole place would need gutting, shoring

7:17

up, stabilising, new foundations dug and

7:19

relayed, definitely new roofing, window

7:21

casement replacements, guttering, a new heating

7:23

system, wiring, plumbing, sewage systems. He

7:25

started totting up the costs on

7:27

the back of the pamphlet. As

7:30

he did so, he felt the spot of rain on the back of

7:32

his hand. Looking up, he saw

7:34

birds flying low and quiet, settling

7:36

in huddled clumps on the chimney stacks of

7:38

the roost. He wondered

7:40

how much bird shit was blocking up

7:42

the chimneys and added bird guards and

7:44

repellents to the itinerary of repairs. After

7:48

a moment's pause, one more thing,

7:50

landscaping. He was referring mostly to

7:53

the gardens flanking each wing of

7:55

the house, which were overgrown playgrounds

7:57

for rampant weeds, brambles, nettles. and

8:00

bracken. Here and there he

8:02

could make out the foliage shrouded forms

8:04

of statues. Other things lurked

8:07

in the brambles. A crumbling

8:09

fountain, an ornamental obelisk with

8:11

the tip snapped off, a

8:13

weird alien-looking plant with giant

8:16

purple globe-shaped seedheads. He

8:19

finally reached the front porch, feeling

8:21

somewhat exposed. Intimidated by

8:23

the sheer size of the property up close,

8:25

John took a moment to gather himself before

8:27

ringing the doorbell and in doing so saw

8:30

he was not alone. A window

8:32

cleaner was climbing up a ladder set

8:34

up to one side of the porch,

8:36

squinting up glundly at the task he

8:38

had ahead of him, hundreds of small

8:40

lead-lined panes of glass. John

8:43

waved hello in a cheery show of

8:45

false sympathy thinking to himself, this is

8:47

what fucking happens when you don't try

8:49

hard at school matey boy, you

8:51

end up as a window cleaner. The

8:54

cleaner did not wave back, having his hands full.

8:57

John rang the doorbell, he was not good at

8:59

waiting but forced himself to be patient. There

9:02

were no lights to be seen inside the house

9:04

despite the gathering darkness of the day. In

9:07

fact apart from the window cleaner there was

9:09

no visible signs of life anywhere. Doubt

9:11

pricked him. Was the owner even in? His

9:14

secretary had written the head to confirm his

9:16

appointments, she'd better fucking be in. Written

9:19

and posted a letter with a postage stamp and

9:22

everything like it was 1922 instead of 100 years

9:24

later. His bell remained unanswered, uncertainty

9:30

and annoyance took a firmer hold of his

9:32

guts the longer he stood there. No

9:35

matter, he told himself, as calmly as he

9:37

could. Perseverance was the name

9:39

of the game, his future lay in

9:41

this house, he could wait right here

9:43

until fucking nightfall he had to. He

9:45

rang the bell again, more insistently this

9:47

time. Nothing. He

9:50

began to play a game with himself, imagining what he

9:52

would do with the money he was going to make.

9:55

What would he buy first? A new

9:57

car, definitely. Trips to the casino, maybe

9:59

rent a- sound

30:00

of baying hounds grew louder, the

30:02

pack were moving through the house.

30:05

None of that mattered when art like this

30:07

existed. There were

30:09

men and women alike, all naked

30:11

and captured in every horrific pose

30:14

imaginable. Some looked to

30:16

be his age, some older, bent

30:18

with time. Dubois herself featured

30:20

in these acts many times over

30:22

in various different iterations, sometimes

30:25

watching, sometimes participating, sometimes

30:27

fornicating or perpetrating, sometimes

30:31

feeding. A

30:33

cameo player in her own

30:35

vision, each brilliantly rendered version

30:37

of her marble white in

30:39

passive, perfectly motionless. Stone

30:42

hounds frequently accompanied her

30:44

in her adventures, sometimes

30:46

as accessories, sometimes as

30:48

tools. The combination of

30:50

sadism and artistry on show in the

30:52

bedroom was more than John could bear.

30:55

He tried one last time to move

30:57

his body, to turn away, but Dubois

30:59

gripped him by the chin with extraordinary

31:01

strength and escorted him around the

31:03

room to survey the statues more

31:05

closely. John had no choice

31:07

but to let himself be led. This

31:10

is a particular favorite of mine, the

31:13

mistress of the house said, stopping

31:15

by an individual statue set slightly

31:17

apart from the crowd. John

31:20

saw a young boy, grimacing in disbelief as

31:22

he hacked the head of another man off

31:24

with a serrated knife into

31:26

a waiting burlap sack. A

31:29

marble replica of Dubois craned her

31:31

head over the pear, one palm

31:33

extended to catch beautifully sculpted snow

31:35

white blood as it spurted from

31:37

the man's throat. Stone

31:40

greyhounds licked at the gall pooling on

31:42

the ground. The statue boy

31:44

looked accusingly at John, hating

31:46

the only warm, pink, innocent man in

31:48

the room. I'd

31:51

like to leave now, John said, but

31:53

Dubois continued to hold him tightly in

31:56

her grip, steering him to another statue.

31:59

Here, was an elderly woman curled

32:01

into a ball, arms wrapped

32:03

about herself. On the

32:05

floor beneath, her entrails spilled out like

32:08

pale snakes, coiled and looping across the

32:10

pedestal the statue was carved upon. A

32:13

pair of marble scissors rested abandoned

32:16

nearby. Dogs fought over

32:18

here intestines like they were chew

32:20

toys, playing tug-of-war with them. Dubois

32:22

was nowhere to be seen in this sculpture,

32:25

but in the next grouping of figures John

32:27

saw three bug-eyed men fighting, pulling at hair

32:29

and skin with nails and teeth, ripping

32:32

each other apart like a

32:34

pack of hounds set upon a fox. The

32:37

baying grew louder. Dubois's

32:40

likeness was behind the fighting

32:42

men, resting on an upturned

32:44

lock, her large skirts hitched,

32:46

one hand enthusiastically working with

32:48

exposed slit between her stockined

32:50

legs, which she'd torn a hole in.

32:53

John realised, on peering more closely,

32:55

that she was not pleasuring herself

32:57

with her own fingers, but

32:59

with a bare bone, the same size and

33:01

shape as a finger bone. One

33:04

of the fighting men had an index

33:06

finger missing, John noted, as Dubois led

33:08

him on with a small, knowing smile.

33:11

The tips of her two front teeth protruded

33:13

ever so slightly from her top lip, coming

33:15

down to poke the soft skin of her

33:17

chin. Next John

33:20

was shown a marble body, cabamped upon a

33:22

skewer, horizontally mounted arse

33:24

to mouth. The body

33:26

was being rotated by a kind-faced woman, who

33:28

wept as she turned the handle of a

33:31

spit. Marble flames lipped

33:33

at the human meat above. John

33:35

wondered, distantly, who carved these

33:38

statues? They were

33:40

beautifully rendered, every wrinkle, every

33:42

fold of skin, every hair,

33:44

life perfect. Some

33:47

of the figures had been draped with

33:49

real jewellery, watches, and even a pair

33:51

of glasses perched upon the sharp, polished

33:53

nose of a man who looked remarkably

33:55

like his solicitor, although John had never

33:57

seen his solicitor naked. He

33:59

realised he was being led through the statues

34:01

directly to the bed where a hummock in

34:03

the linen became more obvious. He

34:05

had not seen the nump from a distance, perhaps

34:08

because the bedding was so white. Dubois

34:10

undressed herself slowly as they moved

34:12

through the assembled sculptures, her hand

34:15

deftly unlacing her own corset with

34:17

practised ease. What's

34:19

in the bed? John managed to

34:22

ask, as his thighs bumped against its

34:24

side. The hummock was the

34:26

same size as a person. It

34:28

moved slightly and made small noises of

34:30

fear. John could see

34:32

the linen moving up and down in small

34:34

panic to bursts. Art

34:37

is best when derived from reality,

34:39

Dubois said, stepping out of

34:41

her dress entirely. Now

34:44

completely naked, she was

34:46

magnificent. Her skin was covered

34:48

in strange red symbols, arcane

34:50

and indecipherable to John. And

34:54

an artist is happiest when using

34:56

live models, she continued, smiling

34:58

at someone over John's shoulder. That

35:01

musky smell drifted into his nostrils

35:03

again. He shuddered as

35:05

unexpected hands caressed him from behind.

35:08

Dubois climbed onto the bed and pulled back

35:10

the sheets. The window

35:12

cleaner, bound, stripped of his overalls,

35:15

laid terrified beneath, next

35:17

to him a series of instruments, stonemaker's

35:20

tools. Standing on

35:22

the other side of the bed, a large

35:24

block of marble. No, make

35:26

that two. The

35:28

women of the roost came to

35:30

stand together, tall, impassive, bare skin

35:32

gleaming, eyes filled with

35:35

fiery longing. The daughter picked

35:37

up her tools and dogs poured into

35:39

the room, overwhelming

35:41

space with their noise and stink as they milled

35:44

about excitedly. What would you

35:46

have them do, mother? the young

35:48

sculptress asked, and the window cleaner,

35:50

in full and complete comprehension of

35:52

his fate, began to scream. John

35:55

felt heat rising from around his feet.

35:58

The deal, he realised, was not a lie.

36:00

as sharp, wicked things were placed in his

36:02

hands had been done long before

36:04

he arrived. John

36:07

could no longer hear money

36:09

singing. Gemma's

36:16

work is something I always really enjoy spending

36:19

time with. I just finished

36:21

her astounding SF novel Total Immersion, and

36:24

the emotional honesty and clear view that

36:26

makes that so unforgettable is present by

36:28

the bucket load here too. But

36:31

here she does something more structurally rigorous

36:33

and colder that helps this

36:36

type of story immensely. This

36:39

is, for me, a story about a

36:41

war between predators, and only

36:43

one of them knows it's a war until it's far

36:45

too late. Straight away there

36:47

is an element of horror there as it becomes

36:49

clear this isn't a fair fight. Then

36:52

she flips things the other way as she realized

36:54

that John Guthrie is about as close to a

36:56

perfect definition of a modern parasite as

36:58

you can get. His greed masks

37:00

the danger he's in, his contempt tells us

37:02

where he thinks he is on the food

37:04

chain. The ending shows us

37:06

both the lie in that. But

37:09

Gemma isn't close to done, and as the story

37:11

goes on we can see just how stark the

37:14

lines are. John is

37:16

new money. Valerie Compton Dubois

37:18

is impossibly old money. John

37:20

has come to the house with something to prove. Valerie

37:23

is simply delighted to get to practice her

37:25

art again. Old

37:27

money versus new money. Tenant versus

37:30

buyer. Man versus woman.

37:32

Human versus, well, that's

37:35

open to interpretation. The

37:38

height and the supernatural grace of the Dubois

37:40

women speak to an inhuman element to be

37:42

sure, but the art in the house speaks

37:44

to a different one. One

37:46

that's both more mundane and more horrific.

37:50

John's fetish is money, and

37:53

the final line referencing the fact he can't hear

37:55

it sing anymore speaks to that. The

37:58

Dubois family fetish is brutal. And

38:01

this is a blood and gore soaked freak

38:03

flag. They are letting fly

38:06

as high as its awful encrusted form

38:08

can carry it. That

38:11

staircase. That explosion

38:13

of contained, sustained, eternal

38:16

violence is one of the

38:18

most unsettling things I have read about in

38:20

a long time. There's

38:23

also the way Gemma hides the knife in

38:26

this story. If you grew up

38:28

in the UK or Ireland, then sooner or

38:30

later you will have gone to a gallery

38:33

or a house with this sort of art.

38:35

Not quite so brazenly brutal, to be sure,

38:37

but there is a constant contained violence in

38:40

a lot of the art in places like

38:42

this. Dark acts depicted

38:44

in dark rooms. The

38:46

wood stained with the lives of the people who

38:48

commissioned it. Or lived it. Or

38:52

perpetrated it. The

38:54

past is always there, just under the

38:57

surface, and in the Dubois family cases

38:59

they're on the surface, being celebrated. In

39:01

doing so, they also reveal what we

39:03

think, at first, are the final two

39:06

levels of horror. The

39:08

house being Irish, and the

39:10

name Dubois being not, pencils

39:12

in a tense crackling line

39:14

of colonization. Oddly rich

39:17

immigrants never get the same treatment as poor

39:19

ones. They can buy their way in, and

39:22

in this case, feather their nest with

39:24

their victims. And

39:27

finally, a house celebrating

39:29

violence, and the predators

39:31

who still live in it, are

39:34

both female. Dubois's

39:38

physical size, her good natured charm,

39:40

her old fashioned outlook, her

39:43

fondness for blood, all marker

39:45

out as someone entirely outside John

39:47

Guthrie's experience, and that last one.

39:50

The violence is key. shows,

40:00

is rendered into a piece of art by

40:02

the very people he is seeking to exploit.

40:05

The crude, lewd tastes of

40:07

John Guthrie. The less

40:10

exalted tastes. Replaced

40:12

by far more pleasing ones. Property

40:16

may be theft, but

40:18

murder can be art. Incredible

40:23

work, thanks to all. On

40:27

to the subject of subscribing and support.

40:29

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of social media you're doomscrolling this week.

41:28

As I'm writing this, an awful lot

41:30

of people are finally leaving Twitter, and

41:33

it is a delight to see so

41:35

many people show up on Blue Sky.

41:37

We have a Blue Sky account now.

41:39

If you search for us at sudapod.org

41:41

over there you will find us. Finally,

41:44

if you like merch, you can

41:46

also support us by buying hoodies,

41:48

t-shirts and various other bits and pieces

41:50

from the Escape Artist's Void Merch

41:52

store. Also, all around

41:54

excellent human being and void

41:56

merch architect Jordan Shively's first

41:58

book out now and

42:01

is fantastic. We will drop the link

42:03

in the show notes. Sudapod

42:05

is part of the Escape

42:07

Artist Foundation, a 501c3 non-profit.

42:10

This episode is distributed under the Creative

42:12

Commons, Attribution, Non-commercial, No Derivatives, 4.0 International

42:14

license. That means you can download and

42:17

listen to the episode on any device

42:19

you like, but don't change it and

42:21

don't sell it. Theme music is by

42:24

permission of Anders Manga. And next week

42:26

we will have the Slow Music of

42:28

Drums for you by AC Wise, narrated

42:30

for us by our own Wilson Fowley,

42:33

audio produced as ever by Chelsea and

42:35

hosted by me. And

42:38

before then, Sudapod wants you to remember what

42:40

do we care for bread and circuses? The

42:42

man things suffering is

42:44

assured regardless. We'll

42:47

see you next week folks. Have fun. An

42:53

arm appeared from nowhere on

42:55

the shape, seemingly projected like

42:57

the pseudopod of a protozoan.

42:59

It's a pseudopod, it's a

43:01

bigfoot. It's all about podcasts

43:03

these days.