0:00

The podcast in front

0:02

of you rattles unsettlingly,

0:04

something skitters inside. The

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label shifts into view,

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warning, adult content. Sudapod,

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episode 966, March 14th,

0:14

2025. This week's story

0:16

Fat Betty by H.R.

0:18

Lawrence, narrated by Matthew

0:20

Hamlin, hosted by Alistair

0:22

Stewart, with audio production

0:24

by Chelsea Davis. Hello everyone,

0:27

welcome to Sudapod, the weekly

0:29

horror podcast. I'm Alistair, your

0:31

host, and this week's story

0:33

comes to us from H.R.

0:35

Lawrence. H.R. grew up in

0:37

North Yorkshire and now works

0:39

in the film industry in

0:41

London. His weird fiction and

0:43

sword and sorcery stories have

0:46

appeared in multiple magazines and

0:48

anthologies, including heroic fantasy quarterly,

0:50

old moon quarterly, and he

0:52

fantastically named Beyond and Within.

0:54

Folk horror from Flantry Press.

0:56

You're a narrator this week

0:58

is Matthew Hamelin. Matthew is

1:00

a writer and videographer from

1:02

Leeds in England. He has

1:04

a paunch on for good

1:07

stories and a loose

1:09

grasp of apostrophes

1:12

and he owns a

1:14

really cute dog named

1:17

Bruce. So, let's make

1:19

an offering to Fat

1:21

Betty. A true one.

1:24

They say it's God's own country, and

1:26

he always had a thing for rain. I'm

1:28

high and soaked, looking over the valley

1:30

with a sea of heather at my

1:33

back, and if the storm lasts forty

1:35

nights I'll not be shocked. There's still

1:37

a little light over the hills to the

1:39

east, but it's cloud clogged overhead,

1:41

and the sunlight can't get through

1:44

to where I'm huddled in Anorac

1:46

and hugging my carbine. Praying

1:48

for that bastard Jeremy

1:50

Cornfell to make his way quick. You

1:52

miserable sod! I tell him when he comes

1:54

up in his hood and coat with a rifle

1:57

on his shoulder and a stick in his hand.

1:59

To meet up he... I might have walked down

2:01

the street with gun in hands

2:03

and not meant odd glance, let

2:05

alone a copper. Do you good?

2:08

he says. And he's right, although

2:10

I'll not say it. I guess

2:12

that works and all? He's looking

2:14

at the carbine. And of course

2:16

it works. Two tours and more

2:19

Syrians sand than any crusader saw.

2:21

It works all bloody, right? One

2:23

of them police half track still

2:25

has the bullet holes to prove

2:27

it. All right then? he says

2:30

this being made clear we walk

2:32

it's that steady rain not too

2:34

heavy but sure to last all

2:36

night and the heathers wet it's

2:38

springing us turned soggy we scare

2:41

some grouse and they go shooting

2:43

off i'd take a pot of

2:45

them if we didn't need to

2:47

keep quiet good eating on those

2:49

birds though i bet they were

2:52

fatter when they were bred for

2:54

it let's not fuss about this

2:56

i say We've been walking five

2:58

minutes, but it's been on my

3:00

mind all day. If there's trouble,

3:03

we should shoot them. Yeah, says

3:05

Jamie. Good that he's not arguing.

3:07

Jamie and me haven't worked on

3:09

anything this big before. In fact,

3:11

Jamie and me haven't partnered before,

3:14

although I know each other from

3:16

other odd jobs. I don't think

3:18

he'd have approached me first, except

3:20

that he knows I'm a safe

3:22

pair of hands, and that I

3:25

don't like the big man. We're

3:28

quiet for a while longer

3:30

as it gets dark until

3:33

I put my foot in

3:35

a puddle. My boots aren't

3:37

quite waterproof anymore. Shit! I

3:39

see. There's no weather for

3:41

hiking. We have to walk

3:43

up. They watch the roads.

3:45

Says Jeremy. And he's right

3:47

and I'm quiet once again.

3:49

Up ahead there's something white

3:51

sticking out of the heather.

3:53

Just showing for all the

3:56

grey in the air. It's

3:58

a short rough cut pillar.

4:00

Why? for visibility and up

4:02

on top there's another rock,

4:04

whitewashed as well, shaped like

4:06

a circle or a square

4:08

with its corners chipped off.

4:10

A rough little cross then.

4:12

There are lots up here,

4:14

old things, marking paths and

4:17

parish boundaries. This one must

4:19

have played signpost to travellers

4:21

for centuries before whatever line

4:23

it marked got forgotten or

4:25

grown over. It's a good

4:27

sign. We're on track. You

4:30

remember the road here? Jamie asks

4:32

me. Not much sign of it

4:34

now. I don't remember. A little

4:36

before my time. But my boot

4:39

scuffs against a patch of tarmac,

4:41

and with a squint I can

4:43

see straight lines through the scrub.

4:45

We follow them past the cross.

4:47

Around the edge of the plinth

4:49

there are more flowers arranged almost

4:51

like a pattern, and as we

4:53

pass, I see a mound of

4:55

litter piled against the side. Someone

4:59

didn't clear their picnic, I say,

5:01

joking, because as if anyone would

5:03

still picnic up here. No, says

5:06

Jamie, shakes his head. I see

5:08

what he means. It isn't even

5:10

proper litter, but food still sealed

5:13

in plastic, sopping wet supermarket and

5:15

food aid packaging. We're that it

5:18

was left up here and I

5:20

say so. It's traditional, says Jamie

5:22

with a sort of sneer. A

5:25

bite for fat Betty! He says

5:27

that last bit like it's a

5:29

saying or a nursery rhyme. What's

5:32

that? I ask. Something my Nan

5:34

used to say. Stupid bloody name

5:36

for a cross. He presses on,

5:39

not wanting to chat. Maybe feeling

5:41

a little odd talking about his

5:44

Nan with a gun on his

5:46

back and murder on his mind.

5:48

I take a moment to look.

5:51

The cross isn't two stones at

5:53

all. but one big one with

5:55

the top cut away and shaped.

5:58

The carving has weathered right down.

6:00

but there are circular hollows in

6:02

the face of it and in

6:05

one of them coins have been

6:07

left. Coppers and silver. I scoop

6:10

these out and pocket them. Jamie

6:12

see me. He points and says,

6:14

You reckon you'll need that after

6:17

tonight? It's a couple of cigarettes

6:19

worth, I tell him. It adds

6:21

up. My God, says Jamie, I

6:24

get lumbered with a penny pincher

6:26

for a job like this. Waste

6:29

not what not I say don't

6:31

sneer it's an old-fashioned thing sure

6:33

but you never know where the

6:35

next packs coming from Under the

6:37

cloud the moors are rolling and

6:39

Pretty soon we're walking along the

6:41

old railway line where they hold

6:44

coal from the mines once upon

6:46

a time There's a bump on

6:48

the horizon just visible which is

6:50

the early warning station at Filingdale's

6:52

A great pyramid shape surrounded by

6:54

barrack blocks and razor wire. There's

6:56

nothing worth shooting a nuclear missile

6:58

at around here, but the big

7:00

pyramid keeps turning slowly. And there's

7:02

a garrison of trigger-happy squaddies from

7:04

London and Birmingham, who'll lend muscle

7:06

to the police when things get

7:08

hairy. I don't like doing the

7:10

job in sight of that place,

7:12

but I don't say so. I

7:15

reckon Jamie will have another sneer

7:17

at me if I do. The

7:19

road coils down the hillside. very

7:21

steep, and the slope beyond turns

7:23

into a near sheer escarpment down

7:25

to the valley. We're going to

7:27

the middle of the road, the

7:29

steepest bit, and from his bag

7:31

Jeremy takes a saucepan lid with

7:33

the plastic handle removed. He puts

7:35

it carefully in the centre of

7:37

the road, and shifts grit and

7:39

mud to hold it in place

7:41

on the slope. You take this

7:43

side, he says, and goes upon

7:45

to the escarpment. I find the

7:48

ditch we picked out earlier. The

7:50

tap comes out of my anorack

7:52

and over my head. I wait.

7:54

It's darkening. I can't... see the

7:56

early warning station anymore. It's a

7:58

Friday night. Every Friday night, the

8:00

big man comes driving over the

8:02

mall with the takings from the

8:04

games. He lives on the farm

8:06

near Stockdale, fortified so that even

8:08

the police will have a headache

8:10

going in. But his games need

8:12

players, so they have to take

8:14

place near the main roads. Being

8:16

a tight gate, he likes to

8:19

carry the money himself. And Jenny

8:21

Kornfeld knows the route. because he

8:23

worked with the big man right

8:25

up into the unpleasantness at Pickering.

8:27

Which is itself a long story

8:29

but worth the telling. Some of

8:31

the time. He's a sick bugger.

8:33

He told me in the pub

8:35

when he floated the idea. Even

8:37

the bossman don't like him. No

8:39

one will fuss if he'll lift

8:41

his winnings. Of course, it's not

8:43

that simple. The big man does

8:45

nasty things to people who cross

8:47

him. They end up as part

8:50

and parcel of those games he

8:52

players. Games where the participants finished

8:54

dead or maimed, and the watches

8:56

placed the bets and the big

8:58

man makes a killing. In every

9:00

bloody sense of the word. We

9:02

are diving in at the deep

9:04

end, but then times have been

9:06

hard for a little too long

9:08

to be cautious. I hear engines

9:10

after 20 minutes, if my watch

9:12

is right. This roads pretty clear

9:14

most nights, and we'd reckon rightly

9:16

that the big man will be

9:18

the first to come this way.

9:21

When I appear out of the

9:23

ditch I see lights and behind

9:25

them two four by fours. A

9:27

land drove up front and then

9:29

a luxury model behind, both slowing

9:31

to come down the slope. The

9:33

bodyguards in the first car are

9:35

probably X army because they're good

9:37

enough to spot the sauce pant

9:39

lid, which, covered in dirt and

9:41

in the dark, looks for all

9:43

the world like the kind of

9:45

improvised landmine they saw too many

9:47

of in Iran. They stop, and

9:49

because they're good, they start reversing

9:52

immediately. And the driver

9:54

of the luxury car is good

9:56

too because he realizes straight away

9:58

what's happening and he's starting to

10:00

do the same thing. and Jamie

10:02

throws the real bomb. He's cooked

10:04

it so that it explodes as

10:06

it bounces from the reversing land

10:08

over. Then there's fire and broken

10:10

glass in the rain. I stand

10:12

up in the ditch and put

10:14

a burst into the fancy car.

10:16

The carbine kicks my shoulder and

10:18

the driver's window shatters. Like a

10:20

sensible man, he stops. I run.

10:22

Down on my knee, closer, in

10:24

the heather, and it turns out

10:27

I'm not too wet to feel

10:29

the sloppy mud through my jeans.

10:31

A muzzle flashes on the road

10:33

up ahead. Fuck that. My sights

10:35

line up like a beauty on

10:37

the wrecked landrover as the first

10:39

bodyguard comes out shooting. I move

10:41

with him and tap the trigger

10:43

smooth, so they twists and reels

10:45

and flops into the water on

10:47

the road. Bang, bang from Jamie

10:49

Cornfield up on the hill, and

10:51

then answering burst of fire from

10:53

behind the landrover. Jamie is moving

10:55

up to the very edge of

10:57

the escarpment now, overlooking the road.

10:59

and he fires down. I guess

11:02

he kills the fellow because that's

11:04

the end of it. I pull

11:06

my bala clavron and when I

11:08

reach the fancy car the driver

11:10

is sitting and holding a hole

11:12

in his shoulder covered in blood

11:14

and glass. You bastard he says

11:16

level. I pull him out and

11:18

push him into the road. Take

11:20

away the pistol he hasn't reached

11:22

for and throw it into the

11:24

gorse. Jamie comes down. all excited

11:26

beneath his mask. Good work, he

11:28

says. Pretty we had to kill

11:30

them, but I can tell he's

11:32

high on the fighting. Then we

11:34

pull the big man out of

11:36

his car, shouting all the time.

11:39

There's two girls in the back

11:41

with him, not overdressed because it's

11:43

a heated car, and we haul

11:45

them out as well to shiver

11:47

a bit in the rain. You

11:49

stupid bastards, says the big man.

11:51

You're going to catch hell for

11:53

this. After all the stories and

11:55

rumours, I'm expecting him to be

11:57

something else. But he's just a

11:59

fat man with a boxer's flattened

12:01

face. He goes on with the

12:03

frets, right up until Jamie puts

12:05

the end of the rifle into

12:07

his great bloated gut, and knocks

12:09

the breath from him so I

12:11

can take his watch without fuss.

12:14

The rain is washing all the

12:16

blood away from the dead men

12:18

in the road, and I go

12:20

through their pockets for their wallets.

12:22

No hurry after all, and no

12:24

sensing leaving good money on the

12:26

ground. Jamie takes the big man's

12:28

briefcase and opens and opens it.

12:30

There's a lot more money in

12:32

there. Bingo, he says, and starts

12:34

transferring it into the waterproof hold-off

12:36

on his back. I get a

12:38

necklace from one of the girls.

12:40

She tries a sort of smile

12:42

and asks if she can keep

12:44

it. But although she looks pretty

12:46

with wet hair, I'm not one

12:49

to fall for it. And she's

12:51

not one to make fuss without

12:53

hope. You sit tight sweetheart. I

12:55

tell her. We'll be gone before

12:57

you know it. I'm

12:59

cold, she says. Spare coat

13:01

just there, I say, and

13:03

nod at one of the

13:05

dead men. She's quiet at

13:07

that. And then she says,

13:10

he's a cop. In a

13:12

voice that's halfway between an

13:14

admission and a taunt. Don't

13:16

joke, I tell her. But

13:18

there's a nasty lurch in

13:20

my gut. Fuck you, says

13:22

she. They're special branch. He's...

13:24

She jerks her wet hair

13:27

at the big man. He's

13:29

testifying. You stupid slut, says

13:31

the big man. Jamie kicks

13:33

him hard. Then he goes

13:35

and looks at the bodies.

13:37

They don't have cop guns,

13:39

he says when he gets

13:41

back. But you don't know

13:43

with special branch. He sucks

13:46

his teeth. If the dead

13:48

men are coppers, it'll mean

13:50

armored car patrols and doors

13:52

kicked in. Houses surged. It

13:54

might mean there's backup on

13:56

the way already. I look

13:58

up at the road and

14:00

I imagine I hear engines

14:03

over the rain. We should

14:05

move, I start to say,

14:07

but then there's a crack

14:09

of gunshot behind me and

14:11

I turn around to see

14:13

that Jamie has just shot

14:15

the big man in the

14:17

head. The girl gasps and

14:20

then she starts to cry.

14:22

I reckon that it's more

14:24

shock than sorrow, but I

14:26

don't bother asking. You didn't

14:28

say you were going to

14:30

do that. I say to

14:32

Jamie. I wouldn't if it

14:34

had gone smooth, he says.

14:37

He's looking at the girls,

14:39

wondering what to do about

14:41

them. None of that, I

14:43

say. They didn't see anything,

14:45

did you? I don't get

14:47

an answer. Did you, I

14:49

say, a little louder. No,

14:51

says the crying girl. She's

14:54

shivering, wrapping her arms around

14:56

her little cocktail dress. There,

14:59

I say, stepping away. Jamie

15:01

shakes his head, pulls me

15:03

a little further off so

15:05

we can't be heard. I

15:08

don't like it, he says.

15:10

Two witnesses. Free, I say.

15:12

What do you mean free?

15:14

says Jamie. Snapish. The driver's

15:16

still alive, I say. I

15:18

know he is. Says Jamie,

15:20

and he looks at me.

15:23

Odd like. And the two

15:25

girls makes free. I say,

15:27

and I dash to the

15:29

other side of the luxury

15:31

car. He says, The hell

15:33

there is, I say. His

15:35

face isn't funny anymore. It's

15:38

almost scary. And I turn.

15:40

And there's one shivering girl

15:42

with wet hair standing in

15:44

the road. Fuck, I say,

15:46

and I dash to the

15:48

other side of the luxury

15:50

car. The driver is sitting

15:53

there, bleeding and looking bad.

15:55

You busted!" he says again.

15:57

Where'd she go? I ask

15:59

him. You bastard. I go

16:01

back to the other side.

16:03

Jamie is holding the briefcase

16:05

in one hand and he's

16:07

gun in the other. He

16:10

doesn't look happy. Where's your

16:12

friend? I ask the girl.

16:14

Maybe I shout. I'm rattled.

16:16

Please. She says. And looks

16:18

at Jamie. The hell's wrong

16:20

with you. He says to

16:22

me. She can't be far.

16:25

I say. She must be

16:27

in the heather. She can't

16:29

be far. Alex, he says.

16:31

It's you shooting the man,

16:33

I tell him. Scared her

16:35

off. Mister, says the girl.

16:37

Mystery, it was just me.

16:40

Me and... She looks at

16:42

the big man's body and

16:44

gulps. The rain has washed

16:46

all the tears and must

16:48

scare her off her face.

16:50

Me and him. Get back

16:52

in the car. Says Jamie

16:55

to the girl. She doesn't

16:57

need telling twice. The door

16:59

closes. There were two girls,

17:01

I say. There was her

17:03

and... But I can't remember

17:05

what the white girl looked

17:07

like. What she was wearing.

17:10

What colour her hair was.

17:12

I remember she didn't have

17:14

any jewelry. Christ! I say.

17:16

And although this is a

17:18

horrible place to go mad.

17:20

I see the funny side

17:22

almost straight away, and I

17:24

giggle just a little. Jamie

17:27

doesn't like it. For

17:29

God's sake, put yourself together, he

17:32

says. I saw her, I tell

17:34

him. I must have eaten something

17:36

weird. Funny how that's the first

17:38

thing I think of. Like my

17:40

mum would have done. Come on,

17:42

he snaps. But then there's an

17:44

engine suddenly audible over the rain,

17:46

and the first police land over

17:49

comes over the hill with its

17:51

lights blazing like eyes. We shoot

17:53

at it. Then we run. It's

17:55

one of those things that needs

17:57

no discussion at all. The land

17:59

over veers off to the side

18:01

of the road and the second

18:04

comes past it. Break screaming,

18:06

pulling over. We go off the road

18:08

and they don't risk following in the

18:10

cars. Instead they spill out and

18:12

chase us. And when the first shots

18:14

are fired, good soldierly instinct takes

18:17

over and we cover each other

18:19

in turn. Shooting hide to make them

18:21

keep their heads down. Our car binds

18:23

have them out ranged and were waist

18:26

deep in heather, hard to see in

18:28

all this rain. We don't panic. I'm

18:30

a long way from feeling my best,

18:32

but panic is what kills at moments

18:34

like this, and I'm not winding up

18:36

dead. I shout and point to Jamie, and

18:39

we cut downhill towards the village and

18:41

the network of lanes and hedges and

18:43

fields that will shield us for at

18:45

least a while. I start to

18:47

fingerhead as I fumble for a fresh

18:50

clip. They will have squads blocking off

18:52

the road before long, which means we're

18:54

in for a long night-to-night if we're

18:56

to make it home. and with no

18:58

guarantee of safe haven at the end

19:01

of it. But they're not following as

19:03

close and the rain's getting worse.

19:05

For once, that's good. Jamie points

19:07

this time and we go straight down

19:10

the hill into the valley, running and

19:12

then sliding on our ass is when

19:14

it gets too steep. A bullet smacks

19:16

the mud name of my hand, but it

19:18

must be a fluke shot because nothing

19:20

else I see comes close and as

19:23

the slope levels out halfway down, the

19:25

police above are out of sight. I

19:29

get up. Come on, I say to Jamie.

19:31

And he gurgles something. There's

19:33

a big hole in his neck, where

19:36

a copper's lucky bullet has gone

19:38

through as we slid. Jamie, I say.

19:40

He's left blood in all the

19:42

muddy tracks we made, and he's

19:44

dead from the loss of it

19:46

almost as soon as I've said that

19:48

one word. I take the hold-all heavy

19:51

with money, and ease the

19:53

strap over his wet body and

19:55

onto my shoulder. It's a pity.

19:58

It happens. I run. I have

20:00

to get off the slope, where any

20:03

bugger with eyes can see me. But

20:05

I'm soaked and weighed down, and I'm

20:07

out of breath before I know it.

20:09

And as I stagger back into the

20:11

heather, I'm trusting to night and

20:13

the weather to keep me from

20:16

being seen. It's all close. The

20:18

rain thick and heavy. I'm freezing.

20:20

But I've got the money, and

20:22

I've got the gun. And these two

20:24

things make me feel like I can

20:26

make it. Right up until the point

20:28

where I banged my head against

20:30

something. Fuck, I say, my knuckles

20:33

bloody. And then I look, and see

20:35

the rough-cut whitewash stone cross

20:37

we passed before. I say

20:39

the word again, and realise that

20:41

I really am going mad, because

20:43

this cross was high on the moor,

20:45

back the way we came, and I haven't

20:47

gone an inch up hill since Jeremy

20:50

died. It's a different cross, I

20:52

think. It just looks the same. There

20:54

are plenty up here. This is another

20:57

good sign. But I know I'm wrong.

20:59

It's whitewashed in the same way.

21:01

And those same offerings of food

21:03

and flowers are laid out. I

21:05

recognise the bright-sopping

21:07

wet plastic packaging, and

21:10

oh God I'm spooked by that. I

21:12

walk quick away, back towards the

21:14

spot where I waited for Jamie,

21:16

and the overgrown time I could

21:18

of the old road scus under

21:20

my boots. The rain is heavy,

21:22

I can't hear the cops. I can't

21:25

even see lights on the road

21:27

behind me. And this spot wasn't

21:29

far from there. My hand hurts.

21:31

This happens. I zone out. I

21:33

probably climbed up here to throw the

21:35

cops off and didn't even notice.

21:37

I was thinking so hard about

21:40

it. The firefights in the desert used

21:42

to work like that, during my

21:44

service. All action, and I

21:47

couldn't remember afterwards how

21:49

it happened. But I always

21:51

remembered it had happened. This rain.

21:53

And up ahead lights appear out

21:55

of it, car lights on the road.

21:57

And it's the road I left with

21:59

Jamie. The road with the

22:01

big man's cars static in

22:03

it and the cops just

22:06

crest in the hill to come

22:08

down on us. That road is

22:10

behind me. I swear God, that

22:12

road is behind me. I

22:14

can hear my teeth chatter. No

22:17

surprise. I've been in the rain

22:19

too long. It's cold. Not much

22:21

visibility. I've walked

22:23

in a circle. That is what

22:26

I've done. It is not

22:28

surprising in this weather. This

22:30

weather is why I haven't

22:32

been caught yet. Oh, God. I

22:35

haven't been caught yet, because

22:37

there are no cops on this

22:39

road. No sign of them. And

22:42

that's fucked up. That's

22:44

all wrong. There were two cop

22:46

cars when we ran. Big

22:48

land rovers with reinforced

22:50

glass in the windows.

22:53

I turned it back on the

22:55

road. They drove off, I

22:57

told myself. No, they bloody

22:59

didn't. Myself tells me

23:01

right back. Then I catch a

23:03

glimpse. It's her. The quiet

23:05

one from the car. I know

23:07

it's her, although I only got

23:10

the briefest of looks at her.

23:12

Out in the heather, up to

23:14

her waist, standing still. Then

23:16

I blink. Or maybe I just

23:19

don't want to look anymore.

23:21

But anyway, she's lost in

23:24

the night. And I'm doubtful

23:26

for a second that I

23:28

saw anything. I'm

23:30

going fucking mad. I want

23:32

more than anything to see a

23:34

cop, so I must be mad. You

23:37

know where you are with cops.

23:39

I walk again. I probably

23:41

walk in another bloody

23:43

circle. Next time I

23:45

see her she's closer, and

23:47

she's different somehow.

23:49

Something about her face.

23:51

Her wet hair is all against

23:54

it. A tangle like the gorse

23:56

at my feet. She's just there

23:59

watching us on. through the heather

24:01

with bag and carbine and

24:03

she looks down when I

24:05

see her. Screw this, I think,

24:07

and I call to her. I'm

24:10

not gonna hurt you, I say. I'm

24:12

only lost. Are you lost

24:14

too? I don't know what she's

24:16

doing out here, and I

24:18

tighten my grip on the

24:21

carbine, but maybe she is

24:23

only lost. I won't hurt you.

24:25

I tell her again. She

24:27

has something in her hand.

24:29

And she flicks it around

24:31

and fingers like a conqueror

24:34

on a string. It's the big man's

24:36

watch. I feel the pocket I'd

24:38

put it in. And it's gone.

24:40

I must have lost it somewhere

24:43

on the mose. Where'd you

24:45

get that? I say, and she looks

24:47

at me straight. There's something

24:50

jagged about her face. Love?

24:52

I say to her. Love, what the

24:54

hell's happening? She opens

24:56

a mouth. Opens a mouth. Opens

24:58

it wide. I

25:00

don't want to talk about that. So

25:02

then I'm running again. I'm running

25:04

and I've stopped caring that

25:07

my lungs hurt and my soot

25:09

tired body is aching because I'm

25:11

scared like I've never been scared

25:13

by people just shooting at me. I

25:15

have a sense now, an intuition,

25:18

that I've crossed something very

25:20

old and very powerful, bigger

25:22

than the big man ever was.

25:24

Carbine swings on its strap and

25:26

it's leaving bruises on my hip

25:28

and thigh. where it hits. It's

25:31

not a comfort anymore. Bullets

25:33

won't make a blind bit

25:35

of bloody difference to any of

25:37

this. I feel as though I am

25:39

the only human thing on this moor,

25:41

alone, high above the valley

25:43

with nothing but rain and

25:45

blackness for miles and maybe

25:47

across the whole world. I know even

25:50

as I'm running that I won't

25:52

get anywhere. And when that squat

25:54

ugly whitewash stone cross looms out

25:57

of the hever again, I know

25:59

I'm doing. done, and I just

26:01

stop. She stands up from

26:03

where she's been crouched, where

26:05

she must have been crouched, and

26:07

now she's short and stocky,

26:10

very, very pale. I can't

26:12

tell what she's wearing or what

26:14

her face looks like. I just

26:16

know that she's the same, that

26:18

she's hurt. The shape detaching

26:21

itself in the whitewash

26:23

rock and making little

26:25

steps towards me. I can see

26:27

a smear of blood on the cross

26:30

when my knuckle cracked against

26:32

it. The rain should have washed it

26:34

off by now. In her hand she

26:37

has a bright piece of plastic,

26:39

a supermarket chocolate

26:41

bar left on the stone. She's

26:44

eating it. Rapper and all.

26:46

In small deliberate bites. Slicing

26:48

it with a sharp teeth and

26:51

not really swallowing. A bite

26:53

for fat bedier. Jamie's

26:55

now used to say. And he's right. It

26:57

is a stupid bloody name. Because

26:59

she's not fat at all. It's just

27:01

that she's eaten a lot. I think

27:04

there are tears soaking into the

27:06

balaklava on my face. Tears and

27:08

rain and sweat. She finishes the

27:10

last of the chocolate and then

27:12

reaches out and pulls the mask off

27:15

me. Right off. Material stretching

27:17

and ripping and ripping and ripping

27:19

in a second and she tugs and

27:21

tugs in a second and she tugs

27:24

it. I'm almost

27:26

too cold to feel it. Please,

27:28

I say. I take hold of

27:30

the carbine, but I don't

27:32

pull the trigger. I think

27:35

that nothing will happen

27:37

if I do. And if

27:39

I prove myself right, that

27:41

will be the end of me.

27:43

She's got a face cut

27:45

like marble. It isn't

27:48

a human face. I don't

27:50

know how I thought she was

27:52

a person. when she speaks her

27:54

lips barely part and her voice is

27:56

like something that's been dead for a

27:59

long time. Didn't

28:02

your mother? She says. Teach

28:04

you not to steal. It's

28:06

a funny thing to say. I

28:08

would have thought I'd laugh if

28:11

anyone had said that

28:13

to me in earnest. Laughing

28:15

is the last thing I want

28:18

to do now. I never took

28:20

anything from you. I say.

28:22

I swear a god. And I hold

28:25

up my hands. The bag

28:27

full of money swinging off

28:29

one arm. and the

28:32

murderous carbine off the other. I

28:34

never took anything of yours.

28:36

She steps towards me, I back

28:38

away, scramble in my pocket.

28:40

The carbine slips and I let

28:42

it fall into the heather so

28:44

I can haul out the necklace

28:47

I took from the other girl.

28:49

This is your friends, I say.

28:51

I didn't take yours. I throw it

28:53

to her. She treads it into

28:55

the scrub. Then I'm opening

28:57

the big bag and holding it

28:59

out. full of the big

29:02

man's banknotes, rain smacking

29:04

onto the paper. I drop

29:06

the bag and the money spills

29:08

out to spoil in the wet undergrowth.

29:12

She keeps coming, and

29:14

I'm stumbling. And I'm

29:16

wrecked. That's it. I say, please,

29:18

what do you want? She stops.

29:20

And it seems to me that

29:23

she is at once high above

29:25

me, and very close. She

29:28

isn't anything I can describe.

29:30

She holds out a hand. I don't

29:32

have anything to put in it.

29:34

And I stand and shiver. Silent.

29:37

She catches my bell and pulls

29:39

me close. And for a stupid

29:41

second I think the awful thought

29:44

that she's going to kiss me.

29:46

Instead she puts her hand into

29:48

the pocket of my jeans and

29:50

rips it so that the coins

29:53

spill out. A couple of cigarettes

29:55

worth if you add them up.

29:57

tumbling into the dirt.

30:00

points I took from her

30:02

cross. It's traditional, Jamie

30:05

Cornfield said. They find me

30:07

just there, when it's beginning

30:09

to get light. Maybe

30:11

police, maybe soldiers. It's

30:14

been years since I served,

30:16

and they look more and more

30:18

like each other nowadays. I'm

30:20

on my back. Spread eagle.

30:23

The soap wrecked banknotes

30:25

strewn all about like a

30:27

circle around me. and the bag

30:29

empty in the heather a few

30:32

yards off. I come awake when

30:34

they kick me, feverish with cold

30:36

and wet, and my headache is

30:38

something terrible. I don't say

30:41

anything to them. I looked past

30:43

at the stone cross, which sits in

30:45

the heather as squat and ugly

30:47

as it ever was. The blood

30:49

from my hands washed away

30:52

overnight. I wanted to be sure

30:54

of that. But for a moment

30:56

I don't know why. New bastard.

30:58

says one of them, an officer.

31:00

What the hell were you on? I'm

31:03

hauled up and cuffed, knocked

31:05

about a bit, the usual.

31:07

It wakes me up. You messed

31:09

up, mate, the officer says.

31:11

You left witnesses. I

31:13

must look blank, because

31:16

he laughs in a way I

31:18

don't like. I remember shooting

31:20

and erode, and the big

31:22

man dead in it. But it

31:24

doesn't feel important. You're

31:28

still high, aren't you?" he

31:30

says. You must have been

31:32

high like a bloody kite

31:34

when you crashed out up

31:36

here. Might have got clear

31:39

if you'd kept going.

31:41

He pushes me. Not too

31:43

hard. Jamie's dead,

31:45

I remember. I should feel

31:47

sad about that. Sometime.

31:49

Come on, he says. Let's

31:51

move. We

31:54

walk single file back towards the

31:56

road and their vehicles. The tone pocket

31:58

of my jeans is flapping. against

32:00

my leg. As we pass the cross

32:03

I look at it and I

32:05

see the little circular hollows

32:07

carved into it like eyes

32:09

and a face. There's a

32:11

little pile of coins stacked

32:13

in one of them. The lowest.

32:15

Between the others. A great

32:17

gaping mouth in the ugly

32:20

misshapen face. There's just

32:22

enough money for a

32:24

couple of cigarettes. Old-fashioned

32:27

yes but then. She was

32:29

more than old-fashioned.

32:31

She was old. As old

32:34

as that stone and

32:36

setting the land. This

32:38

is her place. They will

32:40

hang me for what I've

32:43

done. I hope they do it

32:45

a long way from here.

32:53

Fad Betty is a lot of

32:55

things. The most obvious one is

32:58

that she is real. She's near

33:00

Rosedale Abbey on the Yorkshire moors,

33:02

a squat white painted stone with

33:05

three indentations. She is the boundary

33:07

line between three medieval parish boundaries.

33:09

Rosedale, Westerdale, Danby. She's now part

33:12

of the Danby estate and is

33:14

a grade two listed monument, meaning

33:17

she is legally protected as a

33:19

site of special architectural or historical

33:21

interest. She is a boundary, which

33:24

means she is a

33:26

warning. And this startlingly

33:28

good story explores what

33:30

happens when those boundaries,

33:32

those warnings, are not

33:34

heated. I lived in

33:36

Yorkshire for 18 years and

33:38

viewed it as an idealized place

33:40

that I would happily retire and

33:43

spend my days in for far

33:45

longer than that. It is beautiful

33:47

and bleak, terrifying in its absolutes

33:49

and crammed full of carnalated valleys

33:52

and hills. Its people are some

33:54

of the friendliest humans I've ever

33:56

met, and also some of the

33:59

most private. There is a sense

34:01

in places like Yorkshire of the

34:03

world being built and running a

34:05

specific way. One you don't have

34:08

to know, odds are do not,

34:10

and at times that may be

34:12

safest. There is a pragmatism too,

34:14

something harder edged than to keep

34:16

Carmen carry on mindset that this

34:19

country is entering its triumphant second

34:21

century of choking to death on.

34:23

Yorkshire is a place that at

34:25

the very least tells itself it

34:28

can deal with hard truths, and

34:30

does that by continuing as though

34:32

everything is normal until it isn't.

34:34

There is a fantastic short movie

34:37

made the year we walked on

34:39

the moon called The Watches that

34:41

speaks to this. You can watch

34:43

it for free on BFI Player.

34:45

I'll include the link in the

34:48

shownote. It's about a teenage girl

34:50

in Toddminton in West Yorkshire, a

34:52

town which is notably also one

34:54

of the UFO capitals of the

34:57

UK, and the moment a bus

34:59

full of people sees something impossible.

35:01

Their reaction is terrifying, but the

35:03

horror comes from the fact that

35:05

they all then get back on

35:08

the bus. and drive off at

35:10

the end of the movie. There

35:12

is no denial to speak of,

35:14

no attempt to cope, just Yorkshire

35:17

staring the impossible in the eye

35:19

and then going on about its

35:21

business. Because like the story says

35:23

in my favourite line, Fat Betty

35:25

isn't fat, she's just eaten a

35:28

lot and she'll need to eat

35:30

again. That pragmatism also speaks to

35:32

the aesthetics of Western folk horror

35:34

and it also lies at the

35:37

core of this story. buried beneath

35:39

Fat Betty. This is a Yorkshire

35:41

of the very near future, but

35:43

it is also the Yorkshire of

35:45

the Watchers, the Yorkshire of Andy

35:48

Neiman's stunning ghost stories, the Yorkshire

35:50

of The Woman in Black, and

35:52

most of all, this is the

35:54

Yorkshire of Fat Betty. Brilliantly done.

35:57

Thanks to everybody. you, our listeners,

35:59

and we are now a non-profit.

36:01

One-time donations are gratefully received and

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that is Blue Sky, and you

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37:28

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37:30

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but don't change it and don't

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sell it. The music is by

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permission of And does manga. Our

37:39

story next week is a crossover

37:41

with our dear friends at Nightlight

37:43

who are officially back. It's called

37:45

Spunk. It's written by Zora Neil

37:48

Hurston and we will see you

37:50

then. But before we do, remember,

37:52

everything is exactly as it seems.

37:54

An arm appeared from nowhere on

37:57

the shape. seemingly projected

37:59

like the the

38:01

of a of a protozoan.

38:03

a a It's a

38:05

big it's big It's all about about these

38:07

days. these days.