PB 512: Bending and Petting

PB 512: Bending and Petting

Released Tuesday, 29th April 2025
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PB 512: Bending and Petting

PB 512: Bending and Petting

PB 512: Bending and Petting

PB 512: Bending and Petting

Tuesday, 29th April 2025
Good episode? Give it some love!
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Episode Transcript

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0:01

Hey, it's me Paige DeSorbo, and I'm

0:03

so excited to share my new

0:05

shoe collection at DSW, filled with

0:07

my favorite styles and trends for

0:09

spring. Because if you know me,

0:12

you know I'm kind of obsessed

0:14

with shoes. And by kind of

0:16

obsessed, I mean head over heels.

0:18

You're going to love these shoes.

0:20

So snag super cute styles like

0:22

cute flats, fun heels, and cool

0:25

sneakers from the Paige DeSorbo collection

0:27

right now at your DS store

0:29

or dsw.com. Hi

0:33

everyone, my name is Tyler Oakley

0:35

and you are listening to

0:37

Psychobabble, an unfiltered half hour of

0:39

gossip sessions, pop culture scrutiny,

0:41

and stories we've never told in

0:43

videos. It's not just crazy

0:45

talk, it's Psychobabble. This week we

0:48

discuss Harry Styles' red booty

0:50

shorts in Berlin, Peppa Pig's

0:52

mom getting pregnant for $5

0:54

,000, Corey naming other

0:56

people's dogs at the dog park,

0:58

and why you shouldn't keep your

1:00

cups face down ass up in

1:02

the cupboard. Subscribe

1:04

anywhere you listen to podcasts

1:06

and join our exclusive Psychobabble

1:09

community at patreon.com slash psychobabble.

1:11

If you're not on our

1:13

Discord, you're only getting half

1:15

the babble. Well,

1:30

well America's not the world

1:32

get that through your

1:34

stupid little thick brain. It's

1:36

my world Okay, that's

1:38

where I am Me too

1:40

Yeah, I'm here in

1:42

America. Can you

1:44

believe it? I can

1:46

I can see

1:48

your background. I know

1:50

where you are Another

1:53

beautiful day

1:55

in America. Hey,

1:57

Trump's selling

1:59

Trump 2028 hats on his

2:01

website. It's a good sign. Things

2:04

are going well in America. Don't

2:06

worry everybody. Don't worry everybody. That

2:09

sounds great. You

2:11

think he's going to live that long? One

2:14

can hope. What

2:18

do you what are you

2:20

hoping for? What's the

2:22

one legally I can't say

2:24

what I'm hoping for

2:27

I for one love

2:29

and support all of

2:31

our oligarchy overlords, so

2:33

you know it's

2:35

good whatever happens

2:37

praise be and

2:39

and Allegiance pledged. Oh

2:41

when we were pledging

2:44

allegiance That was crazy of us.

2:46

They were having little five -year -olds

2:48

pledge allegiance to a flag. Girl.

2:51

Girl. Girl.

2:54

I don't stop it. I don't see these 2028

2:57

hats. Did you get

2:59

fake newsed? No,

3:02

I saw it on Pop Crave. They

3:07

said it's a joke. They said

3:09

it's a joke. But everything has

3:11

been a joke. The

3:14

nomination was a joke. The candidacy

3:16

was a joke. It's all been

3:18

a joke until it wasn't. His

3:20

merch is, oh my

3:22

God, he has a merch hat

3:24

that's a white hat with a

3:26

red MAGA hat on the white

3:28

hat. Did you get it? The

3:31

hat on the hat. It's a hat. It's a picture of a

3:33

red hat on the way. Who wears a hat on a hat? It's

3:36

giving wig under wig. Roxie

3:40

Andrews tee. Well, he sells

3:42

Gulf of America shirts. There's

3:44

a picture of him kissing

3:46

a flag. Enough.

3:49

He made the camo hat

3:51

that they made fun of

3:53

Walls and Kamala for making. Yeah,

4:00

they got a little bit

4:02

of everything Thanks great wonderful.

4:04

Yeah, that's my official review

4:06

Okay, so what'd you buy?

4:08

Nothing. Nothing. I can't afford

4:10

it. I can't afford it.

4:12

I'm not a woman. I

4:14

can't get $5 ,000 for giving

4:16

birth Okay, yeah, but you

4:19

usually you can give plasma

4:21

and you can give cum

4:24

That's true, but haven't you seen all

4:26

the haven't you seen all the

4:28

it's been a big year for come

4:30

influencers saying saying I'm mad that

4:32

I donated sperm and now I have

4:34

80 children. Oh

4:37

My god, it could happen

4:39

to you. I Well as somebody

4:41

who's so fertile. I just

4:43

feel like it could happen to

4:45

me. I'm I'm hoarding hoarding

4:47

what? Either come

4:49

our children. I don't well Are

4:52

come children? I don't know.

4:55

No, they're not. Let me

4:57

have. OK, so recently I

4:59

rewatched Look Who's Talking Now's opening

5:01

sequence. Have you ever seen

5:03

it? It's the sperm and it's

5:06

like voiceover sperm swimming toward

5:08

an egg. Yeah. And

5:10

they're all get out of here. Scram. It's

5:12

my turn. I'm going to do it. Yeah. Yeah,

5:15

yeah, it's it's I how old

5:18

was I watching that that was

5:20

like probably the I saw most

5:22

in the theater No, you did

5:24

not my dad took me to

5:26

see it in the theater That

5:28

shit was crazy. I was way

5:30

too young but but I guess

5:33

you know sex ed is important

5:35

Which I don't know which one

5:37

came out first look who's talking

5:40

Yeah, well, you can't look

5:42

who's talking now unless you

5:44

look who's talking. Which one

5:46

has the sperm scene? Regular

5:48

or now? Is

5:50

it now with dogs? There

5:53

are dogs involved, but there's also one

5:56

where there's like, maybe there's

5:58

a little sibling. Look

6:00

who's talking. Look who

6:02

keeps on talking. This is,

6:04

I need to go to the look

6:06

who's talking cinematic universe webpage. Oh

6:09

my God, I just found

6:11

myself on the Peppa Pig Family

6:13

Tree webpage. And

6:15

let me just say that

6:17

family is crazy. You got

6:20

Grandma Pig. Well,

6:22

sorry, Granny Pig. You got

6:24

Grandpa Pig. They had

6:26

Mummy Pig. Mummy Pig

6:28

got together with Daddy Pig.

6:31

They had Peppa Pig and George

6:33

Pig. And did you know

6:35

Mummy Pig is pregnant right now?

6:37

Permanently. No, she

6:39

wants the $5 ,000

6:41

baby boom package that's

6:43

offered by the Trump Vance

6:45

campaign Yeah, well it

6:47

it was dangled in

6:49

front of her a

6:51

little pig snout and

6:53

she went And she

6:55

took she took the loads

6:58

from Daddy Pig Ma

7:00

'am I

7:02

want to know. I want to

7:04

know if you're getting the $5

7:06

,000 for having a baby from

7:08

Trump in advance, do you get

7:10

it as soon as you pee

7:13

on the stick? Well,

7:15

that is when they think a

7:17

baby is my point, ladies. Look.

7:20

Let's get this 5k

7:22

deposited, right when Peppa

7:24

Pig's, when Daddy Pig's load

7:26

is in me, that

7:28

5k better hit the direct

7:31

deposit. When he direct deposits,

7:33

he direct deposits. You know

7:35

what I'm saying? Who's family

7:37

tree is more confusing? The

7:39

Duggars or the pigs? The

7:42

Duggars for sure. The Peppa

7:44

Pig family tree is not

7:46

so confusing. Like the only

7:49

side track that we have

7:51

in the whole family tree is

7:53

Daddy Pig has a brother named

7:55

Uncle Pig. Well, he's not Uncle

7:57

Pig to anybody except Peppa Pig

7:59

and George Pig. But Peppa

8:01

Pig is the star. I don't understand why you're so confused.

8:03

You said this is a confusing family

8:05

tree. So far, everyone's named Grandma,

8:07

Grandpa, Mom, Dad and Uncle. How are

8:10

you confused? Well,

8:12

here's here's my problem with

8:14

it. Once you kill off Peppa

8:16

Pig. And I will. This

8:18

little piggy went to Marquette. Who

8:21

are these pigs without their

8:23

relation to Peppa? Because everyone's

8:25

name is Mummy, Daddy,

8:28

Uncle, Auntie, Granny, Grandpa. These aren't

8:31

names. These are relations to

8:33

Peppa. Some people

8:35

just go by Granny and Uncle. No,

8:39

not some. Mummy doesn't call

8:41

Granny, Granny. Mummy

8:43

calls granny something else certain.

8:45

You don't know that those aren't

8:47

their names. I'm sorry. I'm

8:50

sorry. You don't know if those

8:52

are their names. You just

8:54

don't. Well, Peppa has a cousin

8:56

named Chloe Pig. Wow.

8:59

Don't we all? I feel

9:01

so. No, you have a

9:03

dog niece named Chloe Pig.

9:06

I do. I do. No, I

9:08

think that's my... my brother

9:11

or my sister or something. That

9:13

dog's my sister, technically. If

9:16

I had a dime for every sister,

9:18

that was a dog. If

9:21

I had a dime for every dog,

9:23

that was a sister. Yeah. Yeah.

9:26

Great. I went to

9:28

the dog park yesterday. It's

9:30

fun just to name other people's dogs. OK,

9:33

you're about to piss me off. Because

9:36

you know I have a strict if you

9:38

don't have a dog don't come in the dog

9:40

park rule. This is a park This is

9:42

not what is this is not what you have

9:44

when you said it when you when you

9:46

said it's a dog park Do you mean a

9:48

dog park or do you mean a park?

9:50

It's a park that a lot of people have

9:52

taken over an area that they claim is

9:54

specific for dogs But it's not fenced in in

9:57

any capacity. Okay. Okay. You're allowed

9:59

in then. Thank you I'm

10:01

sorry, but if you come to

10:03

the dog park and go in the

10:05

fenced in area Go in the

10:07

fenced in area without a dog as

10:10

if it's some type of like

10:12

petting zoo Get the hell out you're

10:14

you're tempting fate and the only

10:16

the only individual that's going to be

10:18

harmed by you being there is

10:20

my dog Because you're putting it in

10:22

danger of it reacting to somebody

10:25

who doesn't belong in there and it's

10:27

gonna get in trouble because of

10:29

your Nonsense. Get out. Don't pet

10:31

my dog. Isn't your dog more likely

10:33

to attack another dog than just a person

10:35

sitting watching? Or what do

10:37

these people do? Are they wandering around?

10:39

Are they bending and petting? Bending

10:42

and petting. The girls are

10:44

bending and petting. I saw a

10:46

woman yesterday sit down in

10:48

the dog park. I wanted to

10:51

be like, do you know

10:53

all the piss that is soaking

10:55

into your pants? What's that?

10:57

What's that ground? made

10:59

of turf mama. Is

11:02

it turf? Turf

11:04

mama. You call it

11:06

pitle. Pitle?

11:09

Oh, he pitled in the

11:11

turf. No.

11:14

No, that's piss. Some people say

11:16

pitle mama. Pitle

11:19

mama? Yes.

11:21

No, piss mama. Peppa

11:23

Pig, pitle mama. Well,

11:26

Mummy Pig is a Peppa Pig

11:28

piss. I was like, is it? Peppa

11:30

Pig. It's Mummy, first of all. Mummy

11:33

Pig, a piddle?

11:35

No, Daddy Pig piddled his

11:37

piss into Mummy Pig. So anyways,

11:39

this is just a normal park.

11:41

And even walking down the sidewalk

11:43

might not even know that it's

11:45

a dog park if you go

11:47

at a time when people aren't

11:49

there with dogs. Okay.

11:52

But so we were there. We were

11:54

with dogs. Mind you, I didn't have one.

11:56

I was with people who had dogs. All

11:59

the dogs are running around. So it was

12:01

a fun game to name the other people's

12:03

dogs. And boy, when a lot of people

12:05

finally introduced us to their dogs, did their

12:07

dogs have the wrong name? Okay.

12:09

So what was the dog's name

12:11

and what was the dog supposed

12:13

to be? So there is a

12:16

big old chunk and bulldog sort

12:18

of chunky thick boy, you know?

12:21

Yeah, very cute very multi

12:23

it was giving multicolored it

12:25

was like white, but it

12:27

had like Calico can dogs

12:29

be calico Sure, it was

12:31

giving tank. It was giving

12:33

roller skating dog. What would

12:35

you what would you picture

12:37

this distinguished gentleman to be

12:39

named? um

12:42

Well, do you like human names for

12:44

dogs or do you want it

12:47

to be named like you know like

12:49

I hate I don't I will

12:51

go on the record and say I

12:53

hate human dog human names for

12:55

dogs I've said it before that one

12:57

time I met a dog named

12:59

Rachel and it and I've just never

13:01

recovered Okay, well, so then what

13:03

you want it to be named spot.

13:05

No like chunk or like I

13:07

mean, I guess Brutus would work in

13:09

this instance, but like nobody these

13:11

days nowadays. No one's named Brutus. No

13:13

offense if you're listening Brutus. Okay.

13:18

Um, I

13:20

don't know. Some somebody introduced their dog the

13:22

other day at the dog park as Aristotle. And

13:24

I wanted to be like, shut the fuck

13:26

up. Right. Just

13:29

kind of relax a little. Right. But

13:32

then again, I had to be like in

13:34

here's Cruton. Well,

13:37

this woman came over because her doodle

13:39

kept like her doodle loved me and

13:41

he kept coming in like walking. But

13:43

wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,

13:45

wait. Don't try to tell me about

13:47

a doodle when I'm thinking about Brutus

13:49

Maximus over here. You want to know

13:51

what his name was? Yes.

13:54

Yoshi. I thought, yeah,

13:56

fucking right. That's

13:58

so incorrect. I thought you

14:00

look nothing like a Yoshi. I'm sorry

14:02

your owner did that to you.

14:05

Yoshi. OK. Maybe it was

14:07

the pronunciation. Maybe it's, you know,

14:09

a silent J. Like, truly, their name

14:11

was Joshua. No, no, no. The

14:13

owner came over and said, Yoshi, stop

14:15

eating the dirt. Yoshi's

14:18

short for Joshua. So then

14:20

there I was, and this

14:22

woman had this very demure, very

14:24

mindful, very peaceful, beautiful

14:26

white doodle, and it had

14:28

bangs and like a

14:30

little mohawk. It looks sassy.

14:33

And he kept walking between my legs, like

14:35

just standing between my leg, coming up behind

14:37

me and standing between my legs. And so

14:39

I was petting him and being nice. And

14:41

I was like, who's dog is this? And

14:43

finally this old woman came out of nowhere

14:45

and she was all, thank you for being

14:47

kind to my dog. And

14:49

I was all, what was the other

14:52

option? A

14:54

nice punt. Are there people mean to her

14:56

dog? It made me really sad. Okay,

14:59

what's the dog's name? The doodle? Well,

15:01

the doodle's name was Hector. And

15:03

to be fair, I thought it was a woman

15:05

at first. I thought it was a woman dog. Okay.

15:09

Hector, the bangs in the mohawk was giving

15:11

Hector a little woman dog look. Bangs

15:14

and a mohawk? Yeah. Pick a struggle.

15:16

No, it was a good look. I wanted

15:18

to hair tie. I wanted to high

15:20

side pony Hector. That's

15:24

illegal in 30 states. Wow. He was

15:26

cute. So anyways there I was at

15:28

the dog park. Oh Someone had a

15:30

dog just run around humping everyone's dog.

15:32

We were looking around being it being

15:34

like it's nothing wrong with that Well,

15:37

there's nothing wrong with that no listen.

15:39

Let's let the dogs hump. Let's just

15:41

playing I hate when people at the

15:43

dog park are like freaking out about

15:45

any dog humping any dog their dog

15:47

It's like they're not trying to get

15:49

the 5k from Trump. They're just playing.

15:51

They're just trying to initiate play. OK,

15:53

well, can I tell you if you

15:55

liked this or didn't like this? I

15:59

guess you can tell me if I

16:01

liked this or didn't like this. Sure. So

16:03

there it is, this little dog. It's

16:05

actually it looked like a Chloe, but

16:08

it was black and gray. So

16:10

there's Chloe running around, no

16:12

owner in sight. Going up

16:14

to dogs sniffing starting to play start

16:16

humping and then the other dogs

16:18

are like okay knock it off And

16:20

then this little bitch is it

16:22

is fighting and then she's fighting. He's

16:24

all if you're not gonna let

16:27

me hump. I'm gonna fight Well, that's

16:29

life, baby And we saw like

16:31

multiple people have to pick their dog

16:33

up and walk away and we're

16:35

all looking like who owns that little

16:37

Chloe I Don't know to this

16:39

day Some

16:41

people just kind of drop their dog

16:43

off and don't really pay attention. What

16:46

a blessing it must be to have

16:48

a dog like that. I have to keep

16:50

my eye on Cruton at all times.

16:52

At any moment, anything can go crazy. Well,

16:54

he's a Puerto Rican poppy. Used to

16:56

be a deacon. Used to be a deacon.

17:00

I know that's right. Well, he is Puerto

17:02

Rican. I sometimes try

17:04

to speak Espanol. Un

17:06

poco. To crouton. Um, specifically?

17:08

It doesn't... Yes. Yeah,

17:10

well, yes. Yes. Mi

17:13

hentai. I do try to,

17:15

you know, the

17:17

mother tongue, but

17:19

it doesn't really, it doesn't really hit him

17:21

in a way that, or he ignores me.

17:24

A lot, a lot is possible. Well, no

17:26

is the same in both languages. See,

17:29

see, see, see, see, see, see, see,

17:31

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19:01

on select items only. Did

19:08

you do anything fun this weekend? I

19:11

went to the antique outlet

19:13

place. Did you get what

19:15

you get? It's no outlet.

19:17

Would you do fart? I'll

19:19

give I'll give you were

19:21

you? Crop Dustin at the

19:23

antique show So there is

19:25

this I didn't get an

19:27

answer Let me get to

19:29

it. There is this place

19:31

called King Richards I

19:33

think King Richard's antique something and I

19:35

don't know check check the gifts I

19:37

send you in Pokemon Go it'll say

19:39

where it was. Whittier. Whittier.

19:42

You ever been to Whittier? I've heard

19:44

about it. Is that where

19:46

Cache Creek Casino is? I

19:49

don't know. They've got a Raising

19:51

Canes. That's all I know. And?

19:54

Well there I was. Cryer I

19:56

was. Crop Dustin and Whittier. Hell

19:58

yeah. It's got three floors. It's

20:00

like a huge, huge, huge, huge,

20:02

huge, huge experience because like... every

20:04

section is like a little booth

20:06

that people can decorate and make

20:08

themes You know for their little

20:10

booth of what's on sale. They're

20:12

not there to sell their stuff.

20:14

So it's like it's nice It's

20:16

like you can wander through booths.

20:18

Everything is labeled and marked and

20:20

priced and you can just take

20:22

anything from any booth into your

20:24

basket and take it up to

20:26

the register and you know, they

20:28

You don't have people hovering over

20:30

you at their booths like it's

20:32

a flea market or something It's

20:34

like you can really just peruse

20:36

be with the fleas. And

20:39

I was perusing. I

20:41

found four new sets of

20:43

salt and pepper shakers to add

20:45

to my collection. You bought

20:47

all four. Yes,

20:50

I did. Yes, I did.

20:52

They were they were

20:54

appropriately priced. I

20:56

got let's see, I got an

20:58

eggplant set. I got

21:00

this little ceramic set that's Like

21:02

the salt is a man and the pepper is

21:05

a lawnmower. And so like they kind of go

21:07

together and just push in the lawnmower. That's cute.

21:10

And he's wearing a shirt that says

21:12

born to mow. I'm like,

21:14

okay, girl, relax. And then

21:16

I got a fork and

21:18

a spoon anthropomorphic fork and

21:20

spoon with faces and arms

21:22

and legs. it giving one

21:24

is this? Well, was it

21:26

giving that stupid spoon in

21:28

the toy stories? Yes,

21:30

that's what it kind of looked like. Can I

21:32

need it? Sporky. What was his name? Yes. I

21:35

want to be him. I need to become

21:37

him. I need to do a transformation stat. You

21:39

know I hated that toy story. And

21:42

then I got, what was my

21:44

fourth one? Oh, oh, the cutest

21:46

one. Two little mice, they

21:49

were gendered. One was coded as

21:51

female mouse. How do you know they

21:53

were gendered? Do you flip them

21:55

over? No, she

21:57

was wearing pink. He was wearing

21:59

blue. And what does that mean?

22:02

She had eyelashes. He

22:04

did not. And

22:06

I have eyelashes and I wear

22:09

pink. was serving puts. And

22:12

they. Unlike any

22:14

other salt and pepper shaker set

22:16

I have, they came with a

22:18

little stand that was a block

22:20

of cheese with spaces for their

22:22

feet so you could plop them

22:24

onto the block. Giving Lego. It

22:27

was so cute. And

22:30

so I got all four. It

22:32

was cute despite the gender norms. Were

22:35

they all at the same

22:37

retailer? No,

22:39

they were all at different little

22:41

vendors. Dang. I was really searching

22:43

low and wide and far and

22:46

near and high and you're just

22:48

walking in every booth saying, yeah,

22:50

I got me salt shakers. No,

22:53

there's nobody to ask. You have to search

22:55

for yourself. Well, who's ringing

22:57

you up? Somebody

22:59

at the register. What?

23:03

What do you mean? Have you not

23:05

been paid attention? You can crop

23:07

dust anywhere. There's nobody around except other

23:09

shoppers Oh, and they had oh

23:11

they had a guy in the middle

23:13

of the whole thing acting like

23:15

he runs antique roadshow assessments of people's

23:18

garbage So there was a line

23:20

for him and people were like Tell

23:22

me about the history of this clock

23:24

and and you could tell he was

23:26

he thought he was auditioning for the

23:28

show because he's like really all you

23:30

have to do is be like I'd

23:32

give it ten bucks, but he was

23:34

like Talking about the history. Did you

23:36

get anything appraised? No,

23:38

I didn't I didn't walk

23:41

by and judged I did you

23:43

walk by and thought he

23:45

needs a hobby Well, he found

23:47

his hobby. Yeah, so and

23:49

so we're not bullying Unless

23:51

it's a child. So I got

23:54

my things and my, I

23:56

keep all my salt and pepper shakers

23:58

in my kitchen on a charcuterie board.

24:00

The charcuterie board is full. So I

24:02

don't know what I'm gonna do. I

24:04

don't know. I'm afraid to get shelving

24:06

for these salt and pepper shakers because

24:08

a lot of them are ceramic and

24:10

I live in earthquake central. Okay,

24:13

I don't need a shaking mishap.

24:15

Can't you put a little something

24:17

on the bottom that kind of

24:19

is a gripper? Ooh,

24:21

you're not wrong. I feel like my

24:24

mom used to have a little bit of

24:26

gripper in the cupboards, and so the

24:28

cups wouldn't slide, they'd be on the little

24:30

gripper. Oh my

24:32

God, when I went to Coachella,

24:34

the house I stayed in, all

24:36

the cups were up. Like

24:38

the holes of the cups

24:40

were up. Up? Like

24:44

the cup was up. The

24:46

hole is on the top of

24:48

the cup. All my cups

24:50

are up. So what

24:52

you're telling me is spiders just crawl

24:54

in and out of your cups when you're

24:56

not looking? Well, I don't

24:58

know any spiders that can open

25:00

drawer, open cupboard doors. You

25:02

ever seen an octopus kind of fit through

25:05

a tiny hole? I've been waiting

25:07

all day for you to bring up an octopus,

25:09

so here we go, mama. Have

25:11

you? Okay, but I

25:13

need to turn all your cups upside

25:15

down. Hey, listen to me right now.

25:17

I don't have, I think I would

25:19

if I had a gripper, but my

25:22

shelves are barren. That's

25:24

fine. Desperate

25:26

times, desperate measures. feels dirtier to

25:28

put it up and put it

25:30

mouth side down on the cupboard

25:32

drawer without a gripper. Okay,

25:35

well, it's just kind of like. And my

25:37

cups are glass. Do you put a glass

25:39

cup upside down? Not a

25:41

single cup of mine. You drink out

25:43

of plastic. gripper. No,

25:47

my cups are

25:49

face down, ass

25:51

up. Okay. No

25:53

gripper. Raw

25:55

dog in the cabinet because I'm

25:57

not trying to have cockroaches

25:59

and spiders and ants. I don't

26:01

have bugs in my home.

26:03

I tell them no. See,

26:05

not for you. Oh my

26:08

God. Oh my god. This

26:10

morning, this morning, right in

26:12

front of my front door to my apartment,

26:14

big old coyote. Can you believe it?

26:16

Oh. The crows, the crows

26:18

that hang out by my apartment acting

26:21

crazy. I was like, what is going

26:23

out on there? I went out there,

26:25

big old coyote, all the crows yelling

26:27

at it. Hey,

26:29

that's, I vaguely remember Grace

26:31

Helbig saw a coyote or

26:33

something and she talked about

26:35

how that's an omen. This

26:38

was years ago. So maybe I'm

26:40

remembering incorrectly. Well, I mean coyotes

26:42

live And I know that's right.

26:44

So there I was at a

26:46

restaurant for dinner last night Oh,

26:49

here we go. And the table behind

26:51

me. So the table that I was looking

26:53

at, because I was sitting across from

26:55

another person, the table that I was facing,

26:58

this woman said to her friend, oh, I got

27:00

a book for you to read. And then

27:02

she's reaching in her person. You know I'm nosy

27:04

because I'm a reader. And she pulls out

27:06

a book. And it's one that I read last

27:08

year that I really liked. So I gasp. And

27:11

then she hears me gasp. And

27:14

then I tell the person I'm at dinner

27:16

with, I say, oh, I just love that

27:18

book. She just gave her friend and she

27:20

reads my lips. So then she says to

27:22

her friend, oh, that guy just said he

27:24

also loves this book that I'm giving you.

27:26

So now you get two people saying it's

27:28

great. So then the woman turns around and

27:30

says, oh, I appreciate you

27:32

saying it was great. I

27:34

wouldn't have trusted my friend's opinion without

27:36

you cosigning it. And I

27:38

thought, yes, yes, she was joking.

27:40

I was like, yes, yes, you're welcome.

27:43

And so then we're all

27:45

talking about what the book

27:48

is and it's about an

27:50

octopus. So

27:52

that we're sitting there, so that they

27:54

go back to talking amongst themselves

27:56

and that we're talking at our own

27:58

table, but I'm telling them about

28:00

the octopus book and then out comes

28:03

the waitress with our appetizer. Oh

28:05

no. And do you know what it

28:07

is? No, I know. Octopus.

28:12

So then those women who see

28:14

me talking about how I

28:16

love an octopus book, now I'm

28:18

eating octopus? Girl.

28:22

Can you believe the violence? I

28:24

can believe. I don't want to think

28:26

too much about it though, because like, these

28:30

animals, I...

28:33

I just rewatched our episode

28:35

of Fear Factor on stream yesterday.

28:37

What's it streaming on? I

28:40

spent $2 .99.

28:43

You'll get the email received. Now you own

28:45

it, for real. Yes. I

28:48

bought it on Prime or something, I don't know.

28:50

But I watched it on stream and I kept

28:52

pausing it to give some behind the scenes scoop,

28:54

if you will. But rewatching

28:56

us eat the bugs. You

28:58

ate a bug. Watching

29:01

all the people eat all the

29:03

bugs it was I it made

29:05

me feel Especially after spending all

29:08

this time pausing to explain just

29:10

how much care they gave to

29:12

the snakes I was like damn.

29:14

They really didn't care about these

29:16

bugs even though those are souls

29:18

You don't know that I don't

29:20

know that and and an octopus

29:22

no less an octopus I the

29:25

brain capacity of a Peppa Pig

29:27

and the multiple hearts I believe

29:29

growl I just I don't know.

29:31

I bet I bet it died

29:33

of Nat causes. Nat?

29:37

Oh, it was short for natural. Oh,

29:41

I thought it was short for Nat

29:43

with a G. You

29:45

were wrong. It's Nat.

29:47

Nat. Nat. I hate

29:49

Nat. What the hell is a Nat? So

29:52

then there I was at this other restaurant.

29:54

I went out to eat twice this weekend. Girl,

29:57

the tariffs. And

30:00

this restaurant had a menu, but then it

30:02

was like, what do you call it? They

30:04

all were coming around. You could order from

30:06

the regular menu, but the whole spiel was

30:08

they were all coming around with little carts

30:10

of little things. Love. And they were all,

30:12

do you want one of these? And then

30:14

if you said yes, there was a little

30:16

check sheet on your table and they would

30:18

mark it off and you would pay at

30:20

the end. So it was

30:22

giving you on a little of this, you

30:24

on a little of that. So you really

30:26

had a few waiters and waitresses. Yes.

30:31

I'm raising my hand. I'm

30:33

polite to interrupt. Thank you. Um,

30:36

is that where a la

30:38

carte comes from? Probably. But the

30:40

restaurant wasn't called a la

30:42

carte. I know.

30:44

But like the for is that's that's a

30:46

phrase, right? A la carte. Yes, a

30:48

la carte. Okay.

30:51

So, would you get a la carte? So

30:53

there we are. And so then

30:55

this gay waiter comes over and we

30:57

knew he was gay. He was

30:59

giving gay. He was giving the people

31:01

know I'm gay and I'm gay. And

31:04

so he comes over and he's all,

31:06

I feel like I can, while he's got

31:09

his little meatball cart, he's all, I

31:11

feel like you're a table I can

31:13

share this story with. And he's

31:15

all, the girl at the

31:17

table over there. I told her, love

31:19

your shoes. And she told me, I

31:21

have a boyfriend. So

31:26

wait, he's in the middle

31:28

of that story and we're

31:31

all laughing. And then

31:33

our actual waitress who's been doing our drinks

31:35

stuff. Oh, you're laughing. She

31:37

comes. Oh, you're laughing. She has

31:39

a boyfriend and you're laughing. So

31:41

the drink waitress comes over and

31:43

she's all. What are y 'all laughing

31:45

about is he vamping? And

31:49

then he's all tells

31:51

her the story and she

31:54

looks at us and

31:56

she goes He tells he

31:58

makes up this story

32:00

every night for every every

32:02

every table And then

32:04

it was kind of awkward

32:07

and then it was

32:09

kind of awkward for all

32:11

involved So you're

32:13

telling me he threw another

32:15

table under the bus? Yes

32:18

As a lie stick

32:20

then he does this it's

32:22

a stick he does

32:24

all the time with gay

32:26

tables to He's vamping

32:28

he's vamping he's he's he's

32:30

creating a little bit

32:32

of Rapport he for the

32:34

tippage he was he

32:36

was offended she she was

32:38

all again And

32:41

he was all, no, it really happened. And she

32:43

was all, oh, this happens quite a bit to

32:45

you. Girl.

32:47

Well, maybe he's always vamping

32:49

with the straight women telling him

32:51

he loves their shoes, despite

32:53

not loving their shoes. I don't

32:55

know. Maybe he put on

32:57

his straight drag and pretended so

33:00

he could set up the

33:02

whole story. I don't know. It

33:04

was awkward. It was like mom and dad

33:06

fighting. And I was like, can we just pay

33:08

for our meatball? Ooh,

33:11

were they fennel? Oh my god, babe.

33:14

No, they weren't. The meatballs were incredible.

33:17

I don't like fennel in the meatball. Ooh,

33:19

it was good. I would go back. I

33:21

would go back and order less from the

33:23

menu and more from the little carts they

33:25

push around. Although,

33:28

well, she's now I've been to two

33:30

restaurants in the last month and

33:33

they're very big into selling. Well, I

33:35

think it's sister restaurants on their

33:37

dessert menu. They have a peanut shot,

33:39

non -alcoholic. And they're

33:41

all, you gotta try this peanut

33:43

juice. That's

33:46

a no for me dog. And then they bring

33:48

out a brown liquid in the shot glass and it's

33:50

supposed to be a dessert and it's peanut milk.

33:52

But you know what it tastes like? Cereal

33:55

milk. You know milk at the end of

33:57

a cereal? Yes.

33:59

It's giving that. I

34:01

like that. I don't know if I would order

34:03

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34:05

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34:07

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that's all my stories for

35:15

the weekend me eating out You

35:17

ever died I've been doing

35:19

it. I've been doing it little

35:22

mama All I had to

35:24

discuss was Harry Styles and his

35:26

red booty shorts spotted in

35:28

Berlin. I didn't see him. Why

35:30

don't you link me? Girl

35:33

just google.com it Harry he's in

35:36

his booty. He's he's in these red

35:38

booty shorts You don't even see

35:40

his face. He said he's at the

35:42

like, you know the counter at

35:44

the hotel and Everyone's quote tweeting it

35:46

being like oh Benson boom better

35:48

be shaken. He's he's coming back mama.

35:51

I You know, I was

35:53

thinking Benson Boone is

35:55

is swerving a little into

35:57

that lane Swerving into

35:59

he the car in the lane.

36:01

He reheated his nachos He

36:04

jumps started as his vehicle.

36:08

I like how his hips popped

36:10

out in this picture, mama. He's

36:13

got a little, he's got a

36:15

little. Oh, he's got a little.

36:18

He's got a little sugar in his tank.

36:21

Watermelon sugar. If he told

36:23

the girls he liked their shoes, they

36:26

wouldn't tell him they had a boyfriend. Okay,

36:30

sure Yes, we didn't discuss the

36:32

drag race all -stars 10 casting

36:34

should we do it next week?

36:36

Here's what I have to say

36:38

No save it for next here's

36:40

what I have to say Okay,

36:42

okay, we can wait Let I

36:44

mean baby. Let's save it. Let's

36:46

save it. When does it premiere

36:48

not this Friday, but next Friday?

36:50

I believe or two Fridays the

36:52

14th or some shit We've

36:54

got time and there there may be

36:56

many updates before then so we'll discuss it

36:58

next week And I certainly will have

37:00

a meet the Queens by then I need

37:02

to meet who these Queens are. It's

37:04

already aired you fool. Oh

37:07

You fool. Okay Well, I

37:09

need to I need to

37:11

meet them. I haven't met

37:13

them. All right All right,

37:15

Cory. Where can people find

37:17

you? You can find me

37:19

eating out dining in hittlin

37:21

on the floor Okay.

37:26

You can find

37:28

me artificially inseminating

37:30

my pigs for

37:32

$5 ,000. Great.

37:35

Love that for you. Bye.

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