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first. B-a-pah-pah-pah-pah-a.

1:54

You're just such a great crowd we

1:56

get because so much going on on

1:58

could be unhappy about. but you're all

2:00

in a good mood. I'd also try

2:03

to look on the bright side. Baseball

2:05

season has started. I'm very excited about

2:07

that. That's that,

2:09

yeah. You

2:11

know who loves baseball? Donald

2:13

Trump loves baseball. His favorite position

2:15

is the third base coach. That's

2:21

who's in charge of sending Latinos

2:23

home. We

2:27

make little jokes. Oh,

2:30

Trump. Let me

2:32

tell you, this Donald Trump guy,

2:34

he really wants immigrants out. And

2:36

he wants them to do it

2:38

themselves. No,

2:40

he does. Self -deporting, this is

2:42

the new thing. He put out

2:45

a video this week and an

2:47

app for this. The app is called

2:49

Boxcar. And

2:53

the... Oh, it's not that bad. You'll

2:56

get over that joke. And

2:58

the video, same thing, you know,

3:01

like self -deport, and it's a

3:03

follow -up on his shoplifting video

3:05

called Put That Back. But

3:14

the big controversy in all this

3:16

is that he sent back all

3:19

these Venezuelan gang members. Well, we're

3:21

not sure they're gang members. They're

3:23

Venezuelan. Well, we're

3:26

not sure... They're not white. That's what

3:28

we know. Anyway,

3:31

some of them are definitely, I'm sure,

3:33

Venezuelan gang members. We don't want them

3:35

here. And Trump, to do this, he

3:37

used the 1798 Alien Enemies Act. Remember

3:39

that one? The

3:42

1798 Alien Enemies Act, yeah. No, it's

3:44

a real thing. But the judge stopped him,

3:46

and the judge said, you know, you

3:48

can't use that one because that's only if

3:50

we're at war. And Trump said, we

3:52

are at war. What about Canada? So

3:57

that's how that went down. If

4:00

you like authoritarianism, it's been

4:02

a good week for you. I'll

4:04

just put it that way. So

4:07

this is a little bit of

4:09

dispute, but the French say, there

4:11

was a French scientist coming to

4:13

Houston to talk at a conference.

4:15

They refused him entry, that's the

4:17

true part for sure, and they

4:19

took his phone, they did that,

4:22

and they said it's because the

4:24

Trump people looked at his phone

4:26

and found criticism of Donald Trump.

4:28

and then detained him. That's...

4:30

I mean, this kind of

4:33

stuff is the kind of

4:35

stuff that's going to

4:37

start to lose people.

4:40

Taking someone's phone? And

4:42

then, at all this,

4:44

the Republicans are claiming

4:47

that anyone who disagrees

4:49

with Donald Trump these

4:52

days has TDS. You

4:54

know what that is, I'm

4:56

sure. You have the Dakota

4:59

ring? Okay. TDS Trump derangement

5:01

Syndrome is a state senator

5:04

in Minnesota introduced a bill

5:06

that wanted to recognize Trump

5:08

derangement syndrome as a mental

5:11

illness. Right. Interesting week this

5:13

guy had, after he introduced

5:16

the bill, he got arrested

5:18

for soliciting a minor for

5:21

prostitution. Well,

5:23

thank God he was just

5:25

trying to fuck kids and

5:27

not doing something really insane

5:29

like disagreeing with Donald Trump

5:31

that would be So it's

5:34

such an interesting figure no

5:36

one can breathe a disagreement

5:38

about Donald Trump and yet

5:40

he had a phone call

5:42

this week with Vladimir Putin

5:45

about Ukraine and they said

5:47

Putin Kepton kept Trump waiting

5:49

for an hour to get on the

5:51

call, but that was okay An hour,

5:54

Trump kept screaming,

5:57

supervisor, supervise.

5:59

And must hurt

6:01

it and said, what?

6:03

But, oh, oh. Elon,

6:06

he has his problems.

6:08

Liberals are

6:10

furious at Elon.

6:12

He has his

6:15

problems. Liberals are

6:17

furious at Elon.

6:19

So they are burning

6:22

Tesla. Have you seen

6:24

this? All sorts of

6:27

demonstrations. who were up

6:29

in space for nine

6:32

months and just

6:35

got back, they

6:37

must be like,

6:39

wait, the liberals

6:41

hate Tesla now?

6:43

It's like... Like

6:46

drag queens

6:48

attacking wigs. And

6:51

then... You

6:54

know, and Trump's trying to defend

6:57

his boy. Remember last week he

6:59

was selling the Tesla's, the White

7:01

House lawn? And this week the

7:04

Commerce Secretary hard Lutnik was imploring

7:06

Americans to buy a Tesla. Buy

7:08

a Tesla stock is down, help this

7:10

man. People, please, the richest man

7:12

in the world is hurting. Don't

7:14

you give what you can, five dollars,

7:17

ten dollars, even a dollar, to put

7:19

a smile on an oligarch space. So

7:23

that's where the Republicans are as

7:25

far as the opposition party the

7:27

Democrats approval rating at an all-time

7:29

low 27% People say the Democrats

7:31

are in the wilderness. That's not

7:33

the wilderness. Let's get neatened by

7:35

a bear We got a great show.

7:38

We have Andrew Solomon and Ezra Klein

7:40

But first up he is a comedian

7:42

actor and producer and his podcast is

7:44

Fly on the Wall, which he calls

7:46

with David Spade He is beloved for

7:48

a good reason Dana Carvey is a good This

8:01

is why when you're on

8:03

I just feel like... Let

8:05

me see the love that

8:08

you... Wow! That's amazing. I

8:10

feel funny like when

8:13

I used to climb

8:15

the rope in gym

8:17

class. You can do it

8:19

in any age. This is

8:21

why when you're on I

8:23

just feel like... Let me

8:25

tell you, let me tell

8:28

you. I love him when

8:30

Trump was sitting there and

8:32

he's got the tie. No

8:34

question, by the way. Welcome

8:36

to the Dana Carvey show.

8:39

I guess there's Bill Maher.

8:41

So Trump's there, he's got

8:43

the tie and then Elon

8:45

is up there talking, right? And

8:47

I don't really do it yet,

8:50

but I'm working on it. Okay.

8:52

We've got to go to malls.

8:54

We've got to go to malls.

8:56

Because we come to say life

8:58

on planet Earth, I don't know,

9:01

we got to go to balls,

9:03

it's to be really cool,

9:05

okay? Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. And then

9:07

they say, President Trump, and

9:09

Trump goes, what he said?

9:12

What he said? What he

9:14

said? What he said? He's

9:16

a smart cookie, he's a

9:19

tough cookie, he's a... He's

9:21

a cookie monster, this one,

9:24

he smart, everybody talks about

9:26

it. He's like... A ship

9:29

so high. Excuse me. Excuse

9:31

me. Everybody knows it. And

9:33

nobody works a word like

9:36

Trump. He's a smart, tough

9:38

cookie. He's a cooking monster.

9:41

He's a lawn and dune.

9:43

You know the lawn a

9:45

dune? You're not for the

9:47

lawn a dune. Anyway, so

9:50

Bill. since 1992 in different

9:52

incarnations that is it ever

9:54

been done before oh shut

9:57

up you don't care about

9:59

that to shut up

10:01

and do it.

10:03

There's something about

10:05

you that I

10:08

want to just

10:10

hug. There's a kind

10:12

of a guy that

10:14

has a vulnerability that's anyway.

10:16

We'll talk later. Now this

10:19

is why hosts feel so

10:21

superfluous when you are on.

10:23

Not at all. I can

10:25

run through the stuff or

10:27

I could be very serious.

10:29

No, no, no, no, no,

10:31

no, no, no, you don't

10:33

dare. Bobby Kennedy Jr. Oh.

10:35

Hastestonia, my brother has, it's

10:37

just, region vocal courts. He

10:39

always sounds like he just

10:42

took a hit of pop.

10:44

We all sound like him. After that

10:46

thing, you know, my dad never came

10:48

to the game to the game and...

10:50

I didn't know where he was. The

11:00

pharma is so don't

11:03

call companies that big

11:05

egg brush. I think

11:07

he's really smart. It's

11:09

just he needs a JFK

11:11

AI to interpret. We will

11:13

attack the big farmer

11:15

where we need to.

11:17

We don't do it because

11:20

it's easy. We do it

11:22

because it's hard. How old? Do

11:24

you have to be to

11:26

get that record? I

11:29

love being JFK. Anyway, next. Come

11:31

on, Bill. I want to give

11:33

you a hug so bad. Because

11:36

you're just, you're amazing. But anyway,

11:38

um, I'm amazing. I've been

11:40

set a word. That's amazing.

11:42

That's amazing. You're amazing. Go

11:45

ahead. I've been in the

11:47

clubhouse. Yes, you've been in the

11:49

clubhouse. Yes, you've been in the

11:51

clubhouse. Yeah, and I've been on

11:53

our podcast. Yes, and you just

11:56

win an award. Whoops.

12:01

Phi, five full fierce. Somebody won

12:03

the comedy podcast of the

12:05

year. I think it was

12:07

rigged, but David Spade and I,

12:10

I heart, gave us the comedy

12:12

podcast. Yeah, it's a great podcast.

12:14

Is it? You know, I... It

12:16

ain't no club random, and that

12:18

thing is random. You get in

12:21

there. I'm sitting there for a

12:23

half hour, just in the dark

12:25

waiting, and then you come in.

12:27

And you're like, well, whatever, I

12:29

got a little tipsy too. You know,

12:32

I was like Johnny Carson when

12:34

he gets pulled over for

12:36

drunk driving. Well, sorry, Officer, I

12:38

didn't know I was swerving. I

12:40

had two slippery monkeys at the

12:42

hook and crook. What's the money?

12:44

He got mad at it, isn't he?

12:47

When you did Carson, you

12:50

see it on S&L. And

12:52

you know, this is why

12:54

you are just such a

12:56

genius in the person. You

12:58

get at the essence of

13:00

somebody. Nobody could quite get

13:03

Biden. You got at the

13:05

essence of him, George Bush.

13:07

Well, I'm serious right now.

13:16

when he inches

13:18

his face, when

13:20

they were biting way

13:23

too hard at the

13:25

end of the day, he'd

13:28

be wandering around.

13:30

Yeah, so that's the

13:33

people go up there.

13:35

I think he would

13:38

sit and be like, where's there?

13:40

Everybody makes their commentaries about it,

13:42

but like that gets to the

13:44

essence of it and everybody can

13:47

understand that. Well I think with

13:49

me I you know obviously I

13:51

buy a rich little and he

13:54

had Johnny doing the monologue you

13:56

know and so I noticed Johnny

13:58

interviewing I didn't know that was

14:00

one of the hosts. Yes. Oh that is weird

14:02

wild stuff you know and so that was and

14:04

that was the most fun I ever had on

14:06

Saturday Night Live. But he but he did not

14:08

take it well because you got at the essence

14:10

I mean he was the end of the

14:12

rain it was the people don't remember this

14:14

we're going back those 30 years but it

14:16

was the end of Johnny Carson been there

14:18

for 30 years. King of late night. But

14:21

he was in his late 60s not there's

14:23

anything wrong with that there's anything wrong with that.

14:27

For this kind of show, it's

14:29

fine. But for that kind of a

14:32

show, and you kind of like showed

14:34

the Emperor's clothes were a little tat.

14:36

A little bit. And he didn't like

14:39

that. And you know, Phil Hartman,

14:41

God rest his soul. Yeah. He

14:43

was playing ad so clearly. Yeah.

14:45

And I loved being out there

14:47

with Phil. And Phil is at

14:49

McMahon, Johnny would make a reference

14:51

at like, you know, it's like

14:53

Wild Wild West or James Garner's

14:56

pants or whatever. And then

14:58

Phil would go. Old reference,

15:00

Lost on Younga Viewers. Being.

15:02

So at first Johnny loved

15:04

it, and I did carcino.

15:06

It was a combination, Arsenio

15:08

Hall and Carson. Right. And

15:10

did you know that a crib, that's where you

15:13

live? That's where you live? That's not where

15:15

you put it. So anyway, he liked it for

15:17

a while, and then there was one where, and

15:19

I was worried about it, it kind of

15:21

played him a little more senile. He didn't

15:23

know that Susan Day, who was the guest,

15:25

had been off the part of your family

15:28

for 10 years. And, you know, until I

15:30

understand. So anyway, that's, he did get upset

15:32

and that, I didn't like that, you know,

15:34

but I understood that he, he also

15:37

would, you know, Wayne Newton and all

15:39

those stories. But, you know, you've got

15:41

to, you've got to take the piss

15:43

out of the powerful. I agree. There's

15:46

a movement to not do that anymore

15:48

and I think we're fighting back against

15:50

that. We saw the Tom Brady Roast,

15:52

Nikki Glazer, at the Golden Globes this

15:55

year, starting to get back to that.

15:57

I mean I know, was it Bill

15:59

Gates? to walk out on you once

16:01

when you were doing him? Well, they

16:03

asked me to do a skit with Bill

16:06

Gates at a big event, as the

16:08

church lady. And I said, I do not

16:10

sell out that character. I'm not

16:12

going to, they wanted me in

16:14

the dress and the wig and to

16:16

go in this giant arena with Bill

16:18

Gates. I said I don't sell out

16:21

the character. And then they told me

16:23

what they were going to pay me,

16:25

and I said I'll get the bitches

16:27

dress on right now. So, I'm

16:29

in, I'm in this giant

16:32

arena and they're so intense

16:34

about Bill Gates, you know, he's

16:36

like, they're, you know, God, like,

16:38

Get him Bill, kind of this

16:41

tension, we have cue cards,

16:43

I'm in the dress, he's

16:45

there just being Bill Gates, head

16:47

out, you know, he's got a

16:49

little sweater, and I'm in the

16:52

character, it wasn't on

16:54

this grip, I turned to him

16:56

and said, well, well, well, well,

16:58

well. Apparently

17:01

we made a deal with the

17:03

dab ball. The devil said we

17:05

can have a hundred billion

17:07

dollars, but we have to

17:10

go through life looking like

17:12

a turtle. So, you feel

17:14

that he looks like a turtle?

17:16

It was a joke. Hey man,

17:18

he does not look like

17:20

an amphibious creature. I

17:22

appreciate the funny stuff up

17:25

from, but that went too

17:27

far, dude. Then he walked

17:29

up. Well, then I said,

17:32

let's do the superior dance.

17:34

Because the whole thing is

17:36

like a sufla deflating, you

17:39

know, gosh, I can't, it's

17:41

really tense. And then he

17:43

goes, I go, let's do

17:46

the superior dance. He goes,

17:48

no thank you, goodbye. And

17:50

he just walked off. Yeah.

17:53

And I go backstage. It's

17:55

like, Lord of the Prussia.

17:57

It's just. It

18:00

says a lot about people's character,

18:02

whether they can take it or not.

18:04

I mean, Bush Senior, who you

18:06

were, some would say, unmerciful to, he

18:09

was your friend. He came from

18:11

a different era. We were friends for

18:13

35 years. We did a lot of

18:15

charity events together. I make fun

18:17

of on S&L. He loses the election

18:20

in November. In December, I get

18:22

a call. This is the White House

18:24

operator. And all of a sudden, I'm

18:26

talking to him. And he's like, hey.

18:28

And I go, I'm Mr. President,

18:31

and he goes, you know, and then to

18:33

cut to it, he's like, thought you might

18:35

come out to DC and cheer up the

18:37

troops. He wanted me to kind of

18:39

cheer up his staff. They're down here,

18:42

want to bring him up in

18:44

this area. So this is, thank

18:46

you. Greatest audience in the world.

18:48

This is true. At that moment,

18:50

I'm a very young man, and

18:52

I'm just thinking, DC, what? And

18:54

I said to the president, well,

18:56

where would I stay. He thinks

18:58

I'm negotiating so he's pauses. Well,

19:00

he's staying the White House right

19:03

here with bar and I Two

19:05

weeks later my wife and I are

19:07

in the Lincoln bedroom. We stayed for

19:09

three nights We saw a lot of

19:12

things all anyone want back home wanted

19:14

to know was whether we did you

19:16

did you do it? Did you do

19:18

it? In the Lincoln bedroom I'm not

19:21

going to say but my son's middle

19:23

name is A but my point

19:29

The Woody Allen rhythm always

19:31

gets a laugh. But anyway, so

19:33

that was a, can I do

19:35

the biggest laugh in my act

19:38

right now? I thought that was

19:40

it. No, no. This is so

19:42

ridiculous and how big a laugh

19:44

it gets. I'll just walk from

19:47

here. Camera? Okay. Okay, here it

19:49

is. This is George Bush Senior

19:51

going off a high dive. I

19:53

don't know why this, and now

19:56

it's going to bomb. Anyway, gotta

19:58

do it. you. Not gonna

20:00

do it. Why? Why? It's funny.

20:02

It's funny. It's funny. That's

20:05

funny guy. Well I think I

20:07

was great tonight. What do you

20:09

think? I don't think I've ever...

20:11

I love... I love... I'm in a

20:13

good point. I love making you laugh.

20:16

I love making you laugh. You think

20:18

you love it? I love it. I

20:20

love making you laugh. You think

20:22

you love it? I love...

20:24

You think you love it.

20:26

I love... You think you

20:28

love it. Bromis. Bromis? I

20:30

thought, you know, so last

20:32

thing, yes sir, you missed

20:34

the 50th S&L, I heard

20:36

you had the flu. Yeah.

20:38

Too bad because you were

20:40

certainly one of the all-time

20:43

greats on that show. But

20:45

the person who closed the

20:48

show was Paul McCartney.

20:50

And I thought, oh. I wish you

20:52

had been there because that

20:54

is one of my favorite

20:56

impressions that you do. Talk

20:59

about capturing the essence of

21:01

something. I just love being Paul.

21:03

And I do, like he is

21:05

now, you know. John and I,

21:07

you know, we sit for a

21:09

plank, you know. We sit for

21:11

a plank, and we're like facing

21:13

each other. I was left-handed, he

21:15

was right, it's like facing a

21:18

mirror. And there's never been anyone

21:20

that humble with the genius he

21:22

mentions. We sat and we plunked,

21:25

you know. And that's how we

21:27

came up with Abby Rhodes. You

21:29

know, it's like, what? I've had

21:31

a lot of interactions. I have

21:34

a panel waiting who is going

21:36

to hate me because there's no

21:38

way to follow Dana Carter, but

21:41

we're going to try. Thank you

21:43

very much, my friend, for

21:45

coming on here. Let's have

21:47

that do. Thank you everybody,

21:49

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21:51

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23:06

school for career day and said

23:08

he was a big row as

23:10

man. Then he told everyone how

23:12

much he loved calculating for accuracy. his return

23:14

on ad spend. My friends still

23:17

laugh at me to this day.

23:19

Not everyone gets B2B, but with

23:21

LinkedIn, you'll be able to

23:23

reach people who do. Get

23:25

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your next ad campaign. Go

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to linkedin.com/results to be. to

23:32

be. All

23:42

right. And

23:45

he writes the weekly newsletter and

23:47

sub -stack and hosts the podcast, The

23:49

Dishcast, with Andrew Sullivan. Andrew Sullivan.

23:56

Well, it's

23:58

good we can laugh, isn't it? in this

24:00

act you really do oh

24:02

my god you know some

24:05

people don't want to do

24:07

that but we have to

24:09

talk about serious job because

24:11

we're the serious people now

24:13

so it seems like here

24:15

we are I guess it's

24:17

exact it's the first day

24:20

of spring and two

24:22

months into Avengers end

24:24

game and I see a pattern

24:26

which is that there are some

24:28

things that, some things I don't

24:30

like altogether, but there's some things

24:32

I think you and I both

24:34

agree. I don't know if you

24:36

do on all of these, but

24:38

some of the things that Trump

24:40

has ideas for, like Europe should

24:42

pay for their own defense. Yeah,

24:44

they should. They're rich. Border security,

24:46

equity, completely replacing the idea of

24:48

equality. I mean, some things, maybe

24:50

biological men, should not be competing

24:52

with women. Lots of things, but none

24:54

of it. He does well. He does the

24:56

right way Which takes us to Getting

24:59

rid of the So the big story

25:01

this week he got rid of and

25:03

one of those things on the list

25:05

of things Which I think are a

25:08

pretty good idea is I don't want

25:10

Venezuelan gang members here either Gang members

25:12

have initiations where they have to kill

25:15

a rondo To get their fucking

25:17

teardrop tattoo. I don't want to be

25:19

that guy So I'm forgetting rid of

25:21

but you can't do it extra legally,

25:23

which he did. And then the judge

25:25

said, well, you can't do that. And

25:27

he said, this is the quote from

25:30

Tom Holman, Trump's Borders are, we

25:32

are not stopping. I don't care

25:34

what the judges think. OK. It's not

25:36

the way you can run the country.

25:38

My question for you guys is,

25:40

to people who just don't follow stuff,

25:43

all the nuance, like we do. They

25:45

just think, well, these are some good

25:47

ideas. I don't know about all these

25:49

laws. How do you convince people that

25:51

the conceptual? laws. The founding fathers

25:54

were pretty clear about you can't put

25:56

people in jail without a trial. How

25:58

do you convince people? who don't

26:00

follow with that closely, that the concept

26:02

is more important than the actual action.

26:05

I don't know that you can on

26:07

Venezuelan gang members. The thing that I

26:09

think is going to save democracy is

26:11

that they are terrible at managing the

26:13

economy. There are a bunch of things

26:16

where Donald Trump has a strong argument

26:18

and as you say he's doing things

26:20

in a very dangerous way. With them

26:22

there's always the policy and the message

26:24

of the way to carry out the

26:27

policy. The policy is no Venezuelan gang

26:29

members. The message is they are not

26:31

bound by laws. And they try to

26:33

split politics in between the two, right?

26:35

Because they know they have the winning

26:37

side of the first issue. But the

26:40

thing is, they have no restraint on

26:42

anything, right? They don't have it on

26:44

tariffs. They don't have it on doge.

26:46

And so you're watching this guy lose

26:48

altitude very very quickly. Whether they care,

26:51

I'm not sure. But it took Joe

26:53

Biden 221 days. His approval rating is

26:55

highest ever this week. It went down

26:57

to this week at least, or last

26:59

week it had gone down to negative.

27:02

It took Joe Biden 221 days to

27:04

go negative. But for him, it's his

27:06

highest. It's a little below 50. That's

27:08

not horrible. I have to say, I

27:10

do not care about the economy. If

27:13

the government in this country claims it

27:15

can break down anyone's doors, seize anyone,

27:17

with no due process, put them on

27:19

a plane and send them to a

27:21

foreign jail, where who knows what's going

27:24

to happen to him, I want to

27:26

see the last person in this country

27:28

you did that was called George III.

27:30

This is fundamental to this country's survival,

27:32

to the meaning of this country. We

27:35

do not let people. violate people's security

27:37

without due process and out law. I

27:39

know they're not necessarily citizens. I know

27:41

that some of them, a lot of

27:43

them... are horrible people that shouldn't be

27:46

here. But some of them are not.

27:48

The whole point of this is that

27:50

innocent people are caught up in this

27:52

when they should not be, when you're

27:54

not giving them any chance to prove

27:57

they shouldn't be there. Again, but can

27:59

I... Sorry, I'm... Yeah, yeah, calm down.

28:01

This is great. This is America. This

28:03

is... I'm immigrant this country. That's why

28:05

I came here, because this country is

28:08

a country of freedom. But I guess,

28:10

but he's, he's telling us it isn't.

28:12

Let's, let's, I agree. Sorry. We're all

28:14

on the same page. Stop yelling enough.

28:16

I'm not. But, but here, put yourself

28:19

in the shoes of somebody who is,

28:21

doesn't follow politics that closely. And there,

28:23

Venezuelan gang members, why are we even

28:25

arguing about this? There shouldn't be in

28:27

this country. This guy's finally doing something

28:30

about it. He's kicking them out. I

28:32

don't know why I'm using that accent.

28:34

I went into my stupid voice. Why

28:36

is it that one judge anywhere can

28:38

say, oh, a president can't do this?

28:41

I mean, that's something that's a little

28:43

obstrus to a lot of people? Look,

28:45

I think you can make the argument.

28:47

The question is, can you get to

28:49

where people are listening to the argument?

28:52

The thing about the election, the thing

28:54

about politics right now, is Donald Trump

28:56

wins people who don't like to think

28:58

about politics. That's very very very clear

29:00

in all the polling. If you follow

29:03

the news, you voted for the Democrats,

29:05

by and large. If you don't follow

29:07

the news, you voted for him. And

29:09

I'm not saying that that means that

29:11

people who voted for him are less

29:14

smart or anything like that. But the

29:16

problem that Democrats have, the problem that

29:18

Andrew's argument has, that Andrew's argument has,

29:20

that my argument has, that your argument

29:22

has, is how do you reach people?

29:25

It's not even really, I think that

29:27

the problem is, and people here that

29:29

the Venezuelan gang members are being deported

29:31

gang members are being deported, being deported,

29:33

being deported, being deported, being deported, being

29:36

deported, being deported, being deported, being deported,

29:38

being deported, being deported, being deported, being

29:40

deported, and who, and who, and who,

29:42

and who, and who, and who, and

29:44

who, and who, and who, and who,

29:47

and who, and who, who, who, who,

29:49

you know, who, you know, who, who,

29:51

who, who, I mean this stuff is

29:53

all the news and if you're tuned

29:55

it out, it's very hard to get

29:58

to you. And so the thing that

30:00

I think they understand, I mean you've

30:02

had Steve Battenin on the show, right?

30:04

I think we have him coming up.

30:06

I guess we've had him and we're

30:09

going to have him again. And then

30:11

he's going to have us. His whole

30:13

thing is you flood the zone, his

30:15

whole thing is you flood the zone

30:17

with bullshit. Because the pipe of information

30:19

for most people is pretty narrow. And

30:22

even they hear about one thing, they

30:24

don't hear about the other eight, they

30:26

don't hear about the other ten. You

30:28

overwhelm the media, you overwhelm people. And

30:30

also you recognize that most people don't

30:33

want to think about it, right? is

30:35

they flood their own zone. They don't

30:37

know what they're doing. The right hand

30:39

doesn't know what the left hand is

30:41

doing. They don't know the people they're

30:44

firing. They don't know what might break.

30:46

So we don't really know what are

30:48

the things that are going to break

30:50

through because it turned out planes started

30:52

dropping out of the sky, or some

30:55

group they fired led to a nuclear

30:57

disaster, right? They also do not have

30:59

a great sense of what they're going

31:01

to break through. And also, I mean,

31:03

we're doing this in a world where

31:06

the Democrats now have a 27% approval

31:08

rating. So explain that to me. And

31:10

by the way, 11% with independence, I

31:12

think in the same NBC poll, 11%

31:14

with independence? I mean, I said this

31:17

at the end of last year, like,

31:19

you lost a crazy contest to a

31:21

crazy person. What is the

31:23

answer for the Democrats there? Because they seem

31:25

to be having a civil war right now.

31:27

Some of them are going over to, I

31:29

think, the reality wing of the party. Gavin

31:31

Newsom is here next week. I think he's

31:33

made a big change. I love to see

31:36

that. Some of them are saying, get rid

31:38

of Chuck Schumer, who kept the government running,

31:40

which was the practical thing to do. And

31:42

I think the Democrats would have looked worse

31:44

if he didn't. But they want to throw

31:46

him out for AOC. What's your view on

31:48

that. Well, I don't think they want to

31:50

throw him out for AOC, but I agree

31:52

there and it's a lot of them do.

31:54

Yeah, but not the ones in power. Look,

31:56

they're going to look bad for a while

31:58

because they don't have the power to do

32:00

this. thing their own people want them to

32:02

do. People come up to me all the

32:04

time, and they say, the Democrats have no

32:06

message. Why don't they have a message? And

32:09

I say, no, no, no. If you listen to

32:11

them, and I do, it's my job, they have

32:13

a message. You'd like their message

32:15

fine, but they don't have as any

32:17

power. And so all their choices are bad.

32:19

What you want from them is to make

32:22

it stop. They won. And they had

32:24

a chance to prove the American

32:26

people for four years that they

32:28

were moderate. They did want to

32:31

build things. They were these all

32:33

crazy lefties. And they failed. Are

32:35

you plugging my book? Well, I'm

32:37

happy to plug your book. And

32:39

I love your book. And I

32:42

love the idea that Democrats would

32:44

get back into building things, into

32:46

making things, into making things, into

32:48

making things happen, into deregulating, into

32:51

deregulating the economy. I just think

32:53

that until the Democrats

32:55

address some of the core issues,

32:57

they seem not to want to

32:59

control immigration. They have extremist

33:01

views about race. They think

33:04

the boys should compete with

33:06

girls in sports and the

33:08

children should be, have their

33:11

sex reassigned. Until they grapple

33:13

with that first and then

33:15

have your argument, the two

33:17

together will work. But you

33:19

can't do this to avoid that. I

33:21

think the party has moved on a bunch

33:24

of those issues. So if they pass the

33:26

Lake and Riley bill, it's basically the first

33:28

thing they did in this Congress. They're not

33:30

going to fight on that. What's that? Say

33:32

it says the audience. Says the DC. The

33:34

Lake and Riley Bill is a very right-wing

33:37

immigration, because we don't talk of normal language.

33:39

The Lake and Riley bill is a very

33:41

right-wing immigration enforcement bill. The argument against it

33:43

was that you can basically pull people in

33:45

without a lot of due process, actually. But

33:47

it was voted for by a bunch of

33:50

Democrats, including sort of young Democrats like

33:52

Ruben Gallego. The Democrats have moved on

33:54

this. They didn't move on it early

33:56

enough, and it's part of why they

33:58

lost the election. You're not wrong. They're

34:00

27% right now. The reason they've dropped

34:02

right now is they're losing support from

34:04

Democrats. And the reason they're losing support

34:07

from Democrats is Democrats want an opposition

34:09

party and they don't have good leverage

34:11

for the opposition yet. Look, if you

34:13

go back to early Obama or early

34:15

Biden, you look at polling for the

34:18

Republican Party, it's bad. Polling for a

34:20

party after it loses an election is

34:22

usually bad because it doesn't have the

34:24

one thing its partisans wanted to have,

34:27

which is power. Well, it's not this

34:29

bad. I've never seen one this bad

34:31

and I think I... I think people

34:33

realize something is deeply wrong right now.

34:36

Yeah, they do. Something is deeply wrong

34:38

with those going on in the country.

34:40

It's to do with the way Trump

34:42

understands power. You think about what you

34:45

were saying before. How can one judge

34:47

stop the will of the people, which

34:49

is musks, tweets? He doesn't seem to

34:51

understand we have a judiciary, a legislature,

34:54

and executive. The whole point is that

34:56

we'd have that to avoid tyranny. And

34:58

no one... But that's my question. You've

35:00

got to make that case. We have

35:02

not taught civics in this country. They're

35:05

too busy learning that America is white

35:07

supremacist without learning that there are three

35:09

branches of government. They're all separate. They're

35:11

kept apart so that we can be

35:14

freer than other countries. Why are we

35:16

teaching that? You should be teaching them.

35:18

Well, I think the only one you

35:20

appealed to them is that this could

35:23

happen to you. It could happen to

35:25

one of your friends. It could happen

35:27

with one of your friends who has

35:29

a tattoo that might not be the

35:32

right tattoo and it's suddenly gone. You

35:34

talk to the people who have relatives

35:36

in Europe and they say, my friend

35:38

came over, he was thrown and treated

35:40

terribly by them, for no good reason.

35:43

This, you will tell the stories of

35:45

the people who have been victimized by

35:47

this, the good people in government who

35:49

have been fired for no reason, the

35:52

good programs that were working that have

35:54

been gotten rid of for no good

35:56

reason. Everyone wants to reduce waste. Everyone

35:58

wants to stream like that. Not this

36:01

way. I got to keep you calm.

36:03

Let's do something light, let's do something

36:05

light, right? Let's do something light. All

36:07

right. I see confession signs are back

36:10

in the news. There was a couple

36:12

in Texas who made their kid have

36:14

one and they're in trouble with the

36:16

law now. But this was always a

36:19

big thing with pets. People would post

36:21

their pets, you know, confession signs, things

36:23

like I had one, oh wait, I

36:25

ate Alexa. Did you see that? I

36:27

tricked my parents in defeating me dinner

36:30

twice. I shop with a petco. You

36:32

know, these are kind of funny. So

36:34

we thought, this is probably going to

36:36

get a trend with people. And sure

36:39

enough, people are doing it now. Would

36:41

you like to see some of the

36:43

ones that I thought you might. For

36:45

example, we got Blake lively doing it.

36:48

Even I'm not sure what I'm claiming

36:50

he did. It's

36:54

amazing what people

36:57

will reveal. John

36:59

Vetterman did one.

37:02

At home I

37:04

wear Versace. J.G.

37:07

Vance says it

37:09

is eyeliner and

37:12

I look fabulous.

37:14

The Pope. I'm

37:17

not really sick.

37:19

This is a

37:22

promotional stunt for

37:24

conclave. I killed

37:27

Gene Hackman. Oh,

37:29

that's... You gotta

37:32

be on the

37:34

edge. I'm sorry.

37:37

One of the

37:39

rescued astronauts. This

37:42

sucks. I wish

37:44

I was back

37:47

in space. Yeah,

37:53

I guess in sorry I had this one.

37:55

I've never had that dream or I'm doing

37:58

something naked Elon,

38:03

when a random kid approaches me,

38:05

I just assumed he's mine. And

38:07

Trump, I might have gotten Canada

38:09

mixed up with Iran. Okay, so

38:11

just to continue on this for

38:14

a minute, because I just saw

38:16

this really bad news for Democrats.

38:18

2030 reapportionment. There's a group called

38:20

the American Redistricting Project, and in

38:23

five years we will be redistricting.

38:25

California is projected to lose three

38:27

seats, New York, two, also going

38:29

to lose a seat, Minnesota, Oregon,

38:32

Rhode Island, Illinois, all blue states,

38:34

who's getting these Texas, Florida, Idaho,

38:36

and Utah. I mean, this looks

38:38

like game over, you know, and

38:41

the reason why people are voting

38:43

with their feet is... A lot

38:45

of what your book is about.

38:47

Taxes and regulation. I certainly been

38:49

screaming about it forever. I did

38:52

three years with a sign here

38:54

that said, how long is it

38:56

going to take me to get

38:58

my solar hooked up? Three years.

39:01

Talking about it on television. In

39:03

this state, you couldn't do it.

39:05

This state has almost 400,000 regulations.

39:07

I just put in a new

39:10

roof because the fire, I thought,

39:12

oh, let's got a roof that's

39:14

not going to burn up. Two

39:16

inspections. Why are you inspecting my

39:19

roof? My roof. It's my fucking

39:21

roof. If it falls on me,

39:23

that's my problem. And we're taxed

39:25

more than any other state. People

39:27

are leaving these kind of states

39:30

for places where they're not, they

39:32

feel the heavy breath of government

39:34

on them. It's just, it's not

39:36

that hard for Democrats to understand

39:39

this, but they seem to be

39:41

incapable of doing anything about it.

39:43

So we poll this. They're leaving

39:45

on cost of living. That's all

39:48

part of it. They're leaving because

39:50

they can't afford homes. And it's

39:52

a huge, not just political problem,

39:54

those numbers you just gave. After

39:57

2030, if that holds, a Democrat

39:59

could win, every state Kamler is

40:01

won, win Michigan, win Pennsylvania, and

40:03

I'm just blanked on the third

40:05

blue wall state, win Michigan, win

40:08

Pennsylvania, and win Wisconsin, and lose

40:10

the presidential election, right? The blue

40:12

wall would no longer be enough

40:14

for them to win. You have

40:17

to take that. We mean they

40:19

could win those three states and

40:21

still lose these? Lose the presidential.

40:23

That's how bad it is, right?

40:26

And that's because they are driving

40:28

people out, working class families out

40:30

of the states that they govern

40:32

because the cost of living is

40:34

too high and the cost of

40:37

living is in part for regulatory

40:39

reasons, in part for taxes. But

40:41

the big problem is they just

40:43

don't have enough of the things

40:46

people need. Not enough homes, not

40:48

enough energy, not a government capable.

40:50

of delivering and they've been treating

40:52

that as not a real problem.

40:55

You were talking about your solar

40:57

sign. California, I speed rail. It's

40:59

a huge disaster, but nobody's ever

41:01

done anything about it. If you

41:04

tried to build it again, it

41:06

would go the exact same way.

41:08

High-speed rail? Yeah, California's high-speed rail.

41:10

I think we first passed it

41:12

in 2008. I think they just

41:15

voted about something about it again.

41:17

It's projected, just give up. Just

41:19

a... Just to build I

41:21

think from Bakersfield to Mercede, who the

41:24

hell wants to go from Bakersfield to

41:26

Mercede. And they couldn't do that. I

41:28

went out and tore this from the

41:30

book. And the people building it were

41:33

perfectly clear with me. Look, this doesn't

41:35

work if we don't do LA to

41:37

San Francisco. And they don't have the

41:39

regulatory structure to do it. They have

41:42

been clearing. They started clearing the rail

41:44

track through environmental review. The whole point

41:46

of high-speed rail is it's good for

41:48

the environment. Right. They started clearing it

41:51

through environmental review in 2012. By the

41:53

end of 2024, when I was fact-checking

41:55

the book, it was almost done. The

41:57

reviews were almost done. And the thing

42:00

that... bothers me about it, and it

42:02

didn't get high-speed rail, is they didn't

42:04

change it, right? Okay, huge failure. Learn

42:06

something. Make it so it won't happen

42:09

again. The problem is, the right,

42:11

we've just been talking about this,

42:13

the personality type of the right

42:15

is autocratic now. And the personality

42:17

type of the left is bureaucratic. And

42:20

you can't govern if you

42:22

are this obsessed with process.

42:24

And you can see it

42:26

in the outcomes. If you

42:28

want to sideline... dangerous, popular

42:30

sprite, autocratic movements, you've got

42:32

to offer people the fruits

42:34

of effective government if the

42:36

places you govern are not

42:39

advertisements for your governance, you

42:41

are going to lose. It's

42:43

just depressing to live in a

42:46

country where it still takes nearly three

42:48

hours to get from Washington to New

42:50

York. This is the great... Avenue, right?

42:52

You can't get there in less than

42:54

three hours. It should be 40 minutes

42:56

on a real train. I couldn't agree

42:59

with you more, but what I want

43:01

to know is why is that any

43:03

different than what they're doing in the red

43:05

states? So regulate, lots of

43:07

energy, lots of building. There are places

43:09

where red states have it right. Look,

43:12

Houston and Austin, when people move there,

43:14

they build more houses. They just do.

43:16

They build multiples more houses per, you

43:18

know a thousand people who come in

43:20

there. than LA and San Francisco and

43:23

New York City do. LA and San Francisco

43:25

and New York City should take

43:27

a page out of Texas's book on this.

43:29

The problem with a bunch of the

43:31

red states is the vision of where

43:33

they want to go with things, right?

43:35

The fascinating thing to me about Texas

43:38

is it's building as much clean energy,

43:40

even though the politics are anti clean

43:42

energy. The Texas governor, the Texas legislature,

43:44

they keep putting up bills to make

43:46

it harder, but because the default in

43:48

Texas, is it's easy to build? And

43:50

building clean energy is profitable because of the

43:53

inflation reduction act and the technology and a

43:55

bunch of other things. They're still building a

43:57

ton of it. Get in the default right.

43:59

it possible to do good things, gets

44:02

you a lot of the way. Energy

44:04

from fossils and green energy, all together,

44:06

the best sort of form of energy.

44:08

Because I think climate change is a

44:10

problem. Yeah, I do too. But it's

44:12

a... Well, if you build a lot

44:14

of coal plants, it's going to get

44:16

a lot worse. No, I understand. If

44:19

you build a lot of coal plants,

44:21

it's going to get a lot worse.

44:23

No, I understand. Not quite. I don't.

44:25

Not quite. I don't mean... of energy,

44:27

but the entire state is on fire

44:29

from wildfires. I'm not going to be

44:31

like, great, well, we have an abundance

44:34

of energy, right? We need to, you

44:36

need to choose. One of the dangers

44:38

of naming your book, Abundance, is people

44:40

think it's just more of everything. But

44:42

it's actually about tradeoffs, right? The core

44:44

critique that my co-author, Derek Thompson, and

44:46

I make of democratic governance, is that

44:49

it doesn't make trade-offs. They pile everything

44:51

in, to Decarbonization is a trade-off. Energy

44:53

would be cheaper if we just built

44:55

a bunch of coal plants, but then

44:57

it's going to coat our lungs, it's

44:59

going to cut our skies, it's going

45:01

to get worse. I thought it was

45:03

getting so cheap, it didn't matter, that

45:06

it was going to take over anyway.

45:08

Well, not as fast as we'd like

45:10

it, too. But yeah, it's a matter

45:12

of, you're just, I don't, I want

45:14

regulation to achieve the goal. My problem

45:16

is when he says he's ambition of

45:18

his life, he's having a big- his

45:21

life, he's having a big- his life,

45:23

he's having a big- Are you reading

45:25

Josh Barrow? I am. I'm studying Josh

45:27

Barrow. I read that sub-snack too. It

45:29

was a great point. It's like, you

45:31

know, you've got to, you've got to

45:33

talk to these working class people who

45:36

don't want to live in a perfectly

45:38

green world. They want to get their

45:40

truck and get out there and live

45:42

their lives. It's not going to be

45:44

a perfectly green world, but there's no

45:46

reason we can't power trucks and electricity.

45:48

Didn't for make an F-150 electric. Grand

45:50

is right wing. That's a new deal

45:53

better. Listen, I thought the only good

45:55

part of Elon Musk going right, going

45:57

magga, was he was going to sell

45:59

the right electric vehicles. And it just

46:01

didn't happen, even with Trump, doing the

46:03

infomercials. It's just not good. That's because

46:05

they hate him for other reasons. They

46:08

hate him for other reasons. But the

46:10

truth is, I mean, apropos of this

46:12

discussion, we need an Elon Musk who

46:14

would do to California what he's doing

46:16

to the government in a sane way.

46:18

I mean, if you have 400,000 regulations

46:20

and you cannot build a high-speed rail

46:22

that started in 2008, you need somebody

46:25

to come in here. Who is this

46:27

person? On the on the left, the

46:29

left doesn't want to deregulate. It just

46:31

has that instinct to do, deregulate, let

46:33

them do whatever. They're going to have

46:35

to get over there going to be

46:37

the wig. They're getting over in Europe,

46:40

like the new, the new labor government.

46:42

in Britain is spending a lot on

46:44

housing, they're spending a lot of energy,

46:46

they're doing exactly this kind of thing.

46:48

This is, you're the future. We need

46:50

a new word. Like I really believe

46:52

it because I find this on the

46:55

tour. You say deregulate and a lot

46:57

of liberal enough to just shut down,

46:59

right? It's such a right coded word.

47:01

But often what I'm talking about here.

47:03

Sometimes you do need to deregulate the

47:05

market. Some rules are bad. Some rules

47:07

serve your purposes, some don't. And you

47:09

want to get rid of bad rules,

47:12

including on the government. The thing that

47:14

liberals regulate more than anything else is

47:16

that the government itself. People come up

47:18

to me on the left and say,

47:20

no, the answer here is public housing.

47:22

That's fine. But if you look at

47:24

the rules... under which the government would

47:27

have to build public housing, you cannot

47:29

build enough of it fast enough or

47:31

affordably enough to solve any of your

47:33

major problems. You have to be outcomes

47:35

focused. You have to decide what you

47:37

are going to do, and then do

47:39

it. Democrats do need to learn something

47:41

from Elon Musk, not lawlessness, but a

47:44

kind of relentlesslessness about what you're trying

47:46

to achieve. And I love your thing

47:48

about people with the long signs. Let's

47:50

say, in this house, we believe... But

47:52

then they zone their neighborhoods in a

47:54

way that it doesn't really follow through

47:56

on their principles. Yeah, when you've got...

47:59

I know human beings are illegal in

48:01

a neighborhood also in for single family

48:03

homes where the working class families are

48:05

fleeing it because they can't afford to

48:07

live there. You're just doing symbolism. Right,

48:09

or what you call the firefighter test?

48:11

If a firefighter can't live in the

48:14

neighborhood, he's protecting. I remember when we

48:16

had riots here in 92. And when

48:18

the trial came, it was like, all

48:20

the cops live in Seamy Valley. Mm-hmm.

48:22

I was like, what the fuck is

48:24

Seamy Valley? But that

48:26

was part of the problem.

48:28

All right. Thank you guys.

48:30

I gotta take a ticket

48:33

to the end here because

48:35

it's time for new rules

48:37

everybody. All right. New rule

48:39

with the Menendez brothers really

48:41

want to get out of

48:43

jail. They need to stop

48:45

looking so happy in their

48:47

mug shots. Jesus,

48:53

you're doing life without

48:55

parole. You look like

48:57

you're taking a selfie

48:59

in Cabo. These pictures

49:01

don't say, get us

49:03

out of this stink

49:05

in hellhole. They say,

49:07

the food's not much,

49:10

but the sex is

49:12

out of this world.

49:14

seen here next to

49:16

his best in-show trophy

49:18

after winning the crux

49:20

dog show in England.

49:22

Try not to feel

49:24

so guilty, Muccia. It

49:26

does kind of look

49:28

like a fire hydrant.

49:31

New Orleans, since Minnesota

49:33

Republican Justice Eichorn started

49:35

this week by triumphally

49:37

sponsoring a bill to

49:39

declare Trump derangement syndrome

49:41

a mental illness and

49:43

then ended the week.

49:45

by getting arrested for

49:47

soliciting an underage girl

49:49

for sex. He has

49:52

to tell us, was

49:54

that always how you

49:56

plan to celebrate? Now

50:04

that the Democratic Party has an approval

50:06

rating of just 27% and has lost

50:09

the working class vote, the House, the

50:11

Senate, the White House, and the Supreme

50:13

Court, liberals have to take heart from

50:15

the battles, they have one. Okay, there's

50:18

really only one one, but it's a

50:20

big one. They now sell vibrators at

50:22

target. Uh,

50:30

no, well, someone must explain why

50:32

we always just assume it's Jesus.

50:34

When... When the face of a

50:36

bearded man appears in things. For

50:38

once, I want to see people

50:40

gathered around a tree stuff and

50:43

say, holy shit, it's James Brolin.

50:53

Let's roll the Trump administration

50:55

on its elite squad of

50:57

Marvel Universe, mutant budget Avengers,

50:59

known as Doge, must tell

51:01

us what happened to going

51:03

after the military. Let's check

51:05

the military. We're going to

51:07

find billions, hundreds of millions

51:09

of dollars of fraud and

51:11

abuse. And you know, the

51:14

people elected me on that.

51:16

Well today they reported back

51:18

on what they found when

51:20

they checked the military and

51:22

it wasn't hundreds of billions

51:24

or even billions. It was

51:26

five hundred and eighty million

51:28

out of a defense budget

51:30

of almost nine hundred billion.

51:32

You know when they were

51:34

talking about shrinking the government

51:37

I said yeah great but

51:39

the acid test will be

51:41

if they go after the

51:43

biggest blowout of all obsolete

51:45

weapons programs. So I was

51:47

hopeful when in November Musk

51:49

wrote on X. Some idiots

51:51

are still building manned jet

51:53

fighters like the F-35. Man

51:55

fighter jets are obsolete in

51:57

the age of drones. Please,

51:59

in the name of all

52:02

that is holy, let us

52:04

stop the worst military value

52:06

for money in history that

52:08

is the F-35. program. Exactly

52:10

your excellence. But today Trump

52:12

announced we're building a new

52:14

fighter jet. The F-47 and

52:16

Trump said we put in

52:18

an order for a lot.

52:20

We can't tell you the

52:22

price. So

52:26

what happened to fighter jets are

52:28

obsolete in the age of drones?

52:31

Was that just the ketamine talking?

52:33

Because I feel like you guys

52:35

are purposefully avoiding the elephant in

52:38

the room. Meet the new boss.

52:40

Same as the old boss. The

52:42

two trillion in waste? that you

52:45

originally said you could cut? Yeah,

52:47

you're not going to get there

52:49

by firing mailmen and the guy

52:52

who tells you to not lean

52:54

over the rail at the Grand

52:56

Canyon. According

53:03

to Doge's own wall of

53:05

receipts, after two months they've

53:08

only reached 35 billion in

53:10

verifiable cuts across the whole

53:13

government. Meanwhile, the fattest target

53:15

to hunt savings from sits

53:18

unmolested across the Potomac at

53:20

the Pentagon, a place Eisenhower

53:22

warned us was out of

53:25

control in 19-fucking 61. Here's

53:27

the discretionary spending part, what

53:30

we could cut. You mean

53:32

there's barely a penny of

53:35

waste in this half? I

53:37

may not know how to

53:40

code like Elon's nerd brigade,

53:42

but I could read a

53:45

fucking pie chart. Lastly, Congress

53:47

appropriated the money to take

53:50

us through to October, and

53:52

there was plenty of belt

53:55

tightening, but... Not defense. Oh

53:57

no. That can never be

53:59

touched. Good times, bad times,

54:02

Republicans in charge, Democrats in

54:04

charge. It's amazing. The right

54:07

and the left in this

54:09

country despise each other. But

54:12

they do agree on two

54:14

things. One, keep an eye

54:17

on the Jews because they're

54:19

always up to something. And

54:22

two, the defense budget is

54:24

always perfect. Like the Virgin

54:27

Mary. In

54:29

fact, it's always okay if

54:31

it gets bigger. It's like

54:34

a fat virgin marrying. Our

54:36

defense budget is higher than

54:39

the next nine countries combined.

54:41

It's more than triple that

54:44

of our biggest adversary China,

54:46

and eight and a half

54:49

times that of our closest

54:51

ally, Russia. The

55:02

Pentagon itself says it

55:04

has 19% more bases

55:07

than it needs. Wouldn't

55:10

it be efficient to

55:12

close some of those?

55:15

The 750 bases in

55:17

80 countries we have

55:20

around the world, we

55:23

need everyone. No place

55:25

to fire up the

55:28

old chainsaw there? The

55:31

Marines have 10. Guam

55:33

has 2. Nothing? No

55:36

brain pain for that?

55:38

An internal watchdog once

55:41

found Boeing marked up

55:44

the price of a

55:46

helicopter by 177 thousand

55:49

percent. Not 177 percent.

55:51

177 thousand percent. That

55:54

is almost as bad

55:57

as my mechanic. I

56:01

don't know what the Army

56:03

does before 9am, but it's

56:05

not reading receipts. Come on,

56:08

you're Elon Musk. The first

56:10

cuts were easy, but playtime

56:12

is over. Pick on someone

56:15

your own size. And I

56:17

don't just mean the Pentagon.

56:19

If you look up

56:21

bloated bureaucracy in the

56:23

dictionary... It's a picture of

56:25

the Department of Homeland Security.

56:28

A Frankenstein monster born in

56:30

the panic after 9-11 when

56:32

we took 22 separate government

56:35

agencies and merged them into

56:37

one enormous bureaucracy around one

56:39

common goal to make sure that

56:42

my container of lube doesn't exceed

56:44

3.4 ounces. And

56:53

so far, Doish has caught

56:55

50 million out of its

56:57

$150 billion dollar budget. You

56:59

know, every other part of

57:02

government has to tighten its

57:04

belt. How about the part

57:06

that makes me take mine

57:08

off at the airport? It's

57:13

been over 20 years of

57:15

this bullshit. We started doing

57:18

it before there was smartphones

57:20

or AI. I'm guessing there's

57:22

a better way to keep

57:25

us safe than everybody

57:27

undressing in public. No

57:29

one thinks you need

57:31

your picture taken to fly

57:33

from Tulsa to Spokane. It's

57:36

not 9-11 anymore. It's 2025

57:38

and I'm not afraid of

57:40

hijackers. I'm afraid of the

57:43

plane. All right, that's our show. I

57:45

want to thank us for Klein,

57:47

Andrew Sullivan, and Dana Carvey. Club

57:49

random drops every Sunday in YouTube

57:52

and wherever you get your podcast.

57:54

Now go watch over time on

57:56

YouTube. Thank you, great audience. I

57:59

appreciate you. Catch

58:04

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58:06

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58:09

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58:11

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58:13

log on to hbo.com. Hi, I'm

58:16

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58:18

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58:22

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