0:02

The road to recovery. You might be cruising down it a friend or family

0:08

member lost on it, or the road is well still under construction. Relevant

0:17

Recovery Radio it's about getting to that destination of normal health, mind or strength.

0:25

Now Relevant Recovery Radio here to give you the keys. Heather and Donnie

0:30

Moser. Hello, who he Welcome to this week's episode of Relevant Recovery Radio.

0:36

Have you seen that meme? It's on the meme it's a video I

0:40

saw him on Facebook. But there's this guy with this little white dog and

0:43

he's like, we're going on a road trip and whatever the dog's name is.

0:46

And the guy goes whoa when the dog goes whoo with him. It's

0:49

so cute. Have you seen it? Why are you looking at something like

0:52

that? It's a good a wool. We're talking about Facebook anyways. We're

1:00

a little bit we're a little bit onre today. So well, let me

1:02

see my stuffs. That's why I would. I'm sorry that I would,

1:06

don't. I woo, Yeah, do your stuff. The show is sponsored

1:08

by the Matthews Hope Foundation. We're now after today, we'll see we'll see

1:15

wolves are allowed and so the Matthews Hope Foundation has the Matthews Hope Detox and

1:21

Recovery Program. The detox portion is two h two weeks long, usually maybe

1:26

about ten days, and we get you fully medically safely detox, but we

1:30

also offer full clinical curriculum. You get a counselor you get isis microcurrent,

1:34

neural feedback, horseback riding horseback and then tennis no but recovery support. So

1:41

this is not like passages. Malibu's not Malibu pass And for that reason,

1:45

if you want to actually get sober, oh yeah, not just cater to

1:52

your inn entitlement. If you do want to soby, you might consider our

1:56

program. It's a wonderful program because what's really cool about it is we offer

2:00

recovery support with state credential recovery coaches while you're in the dtox. But also

2:05

if you want to enroll in the optional recovery support, you can get free

2:08

after care for up to twenty four months after you leave our facility. And

2:13

so we provide individualized recovery and peer support in person, virtual or by phone.

2:17

We do offer free i ASIS microcurrent NEROW feedback forth the twenty four months

2:22

as long as you're an active RST client, your family member can get it

2:24

for twenty five dollars a session. We just offer a lot of services and

2:30

it helps people get well. Of the people that complete our program and stay

2:34

active in recovery support up to eighty five percent or staying sober from dtox,

2:38

which is crazy. That's a crazy number because about eight percent, say stay

2:42

sober out of a normal like RTC. Yeah, regular treatment has about an

2:46

eight percent success rate. Wow. And if you're listening to us today and

2:50

you don't have a substance abuse disorder, good free you. But we do.

2:55

But we did the things that we talk about on this show. We

2:59

try to cover everything. Like we try to cover a spiritual walk, we

3:02

try to cover other addictions. And so if you are a loved one is

3:07

struggling with any sort of substance use disorder, give us a call at eight

3:09

four four and Hope. That's eight four four two six three four six seven

3:14

three, Or you can go to our website. We've got lots of information about our program and our belief system and our care model. It is www

3:21

dot mh DRP dot org or the foundation is Matthews Hope dot org. And

3:27

we really are grateful that you're listening and checking us out today. You can't

3:30

tell by my sarcasm, but I'm really glad you're here. You're listening to

3:34

us at one pm Central in the h htown Houston, Houston KPRC nine fifty

3:40

That again is one pm Central. And if you're not in Houston, you

3:45

want to listen to us live ish, I think it's live ish. Just

3:49

go to the iHeart Radio app and look for KPRC nine fifties channel and you

3:53

can hear us live on Sundays. Oh yeah, and the ish is that

3:58

we're actually recording this on Friday today is Friday time travel. But they play

4:01

it. They play it at one pm Central in Houston. Uh. And

4:08

then they throw us up on the iHeartRadio app under Relative Recovery Radio. Oh

4:12

it's not that's not even the name of our podcast, Relevant Recovery Reletant Relevant.

4:17

I just misspoke, stupid. I had about seventeen cups of coffee,

4:23

this radio Relevant Recovery Radio, and what other areas that I would never touch?

4:29

Could they find us? Facebook and Instagram? Yeah? Because you're too good for that self righteous guy? You And how hard was it not to

4:34

curse? Right there? I tried really hard. It's like, geez,

4:40

don't do it, other don't do it so you can find us. I

4:44

wish we had like a little beeby thing where I could just be myself and

4:46

beat myself knowing it's coming, and then then I would just randomly beat you

4:49

because that game is fun. But I don't want it to be a beet.

4:53

I want it to be like that screaming chicken toy. Oh lord.

4:56

Yeah, people would definitely tune out. But so if you really want to

5:00

support the channel, you can like, share, comment our episodes on social

5:02

media, or just go to the iHeart Radio app. Download it's a free

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download and search relevant recovery radio. That's our channel. All of our past

5:11

episodes are there. Find your favorite, share it with your love one,

5:14

share it with the people that might need to hear some of our messages. Because we do like to hit on all topics spiritual, we like to hit

5:20

on all topics, addiction. We have covered food, porn, work,

5:26

social media, social media, I mean at you go on, yeah yeah

5:30

that was a good human and sects trafficking. We did a lot of different

5:34

topics, so like, follow and share. So how's your week? Bend?

5:41

Moser yeah, so I've noticed. I was telling one of the counselors

5:46

at work yesterday. I think I was. I know that I'm slightly spiritually

5:50

off for about two or three months. I know, I think two weeks.

5:55

Maybe I've noticed it for about two weeks maybe, but I think I'm

5:59

slightly just because everybody's like annoying me, and I feel really overwhelmed and stressed

6:03

out. And so I know that if you meet like, what's the what's

6:08

the thing? If you meet more than three jerks a day, then you're

6:11

the jerk. I know the problem. To me, Well, all of

6:15

us that you met got together and we all voted that anyway. Well,

6:17

anyway, it's okay, that's nice, thanks for that affirmation. Are you

6:21

sleeping better this week? I am, though, sorry because we got a

6:26

satva, we got a new bed. Well it's fourth new bed. So

6:30

if if we're a weekend, if you are following our mattress Saga over the

6:33

last year and a half, we really need like a driver like Saga soccer.

6:38

We're basically like Goldilocks that can't find the right mattress or the princess with

6:42

the p under the mattress, Like we hate everything yeah, I will say

6:45

this show is not sponsored by Satva. No, they don't pay us anything.

6:48

But hey, if you want to read John Baby, so, I

6:50

think you're fantastic and I like your mattress, well, mattress number two.

6:55

We have the most firm mattress that they make. Now they literally just sent

6:59

us a giant slab of concrete that we throw a sheet over. But it's

7:02

fantastic you and I like firm, So it just depends on what you like.

7:06

But their customer service has been outstanding and so actually pretty pretty outrageous for

7:12

today's day and times of like the way people treat others and all that.

7:15

It's so encourage any of our listeners. I know that they don't really have

7:18

a store like a showcase where you can go try them out. Really,

7:23

if you find a showcase, it might have one type, not all of

7:26

it the type. So anyways, I highly encourage our listeners to look them

7:29

up and try out SOTVO because we've had a wonderful experience and I think we

7:32

finally found the winner, and we're gonna come back on this in a year

7:35

and we're gonna give you a heads up if we're going to get a new

7:38

one, So don't go anywhere. We'll be right back here in a minute

7:41

with Relevant Recovery Radio. Oh yeah, welcome back the Relevant Recovery Radio with

8:05

your host Heather and Donnie Moser. Hey, did you ever notice that I

8:09

always put your name first? No? Never noticed I do. Do you

8:13

always say Heather and Donnie Moser? Yeah? Not Donnie, Heather Moser.

8:16

No, that's cute. Why do you do that? I wouldn't be here

8:20

if it wasn't for you, that's true. Yeah. So all right, we were talking about your maladacious life over the last few months, and I

8:28

was going to tell you, like I do feel I feel like I wasn't

8:31

asking you. I was gonna say something. Yeah, the last two weeks

8:37

for me and I don't know why, I have felt tiring. Yeah,

8:43

and I think and this in the microwave. You were just waiting to drop

8:46

that. What other astrological things do you worry? Next week, Venus is

8:52

going to be in the Gatorade, so it'll all be better. God,

8:56

you're so stupid. Candy Pants is behind me, and candy Pants have been

9:01

talking about them. Mercury in the microwave. Okay, here's some of those

9:03

great folks. Uh this weekend on Sunday, we had a party at our

9:09

house, a pool party with all of our fellowship, our twelve st up

9:13

fellowship. It's it's about our sober friends, twenty people that are fairly close

9:16

to us. But we had a new person, That's what I'm talking about.

9:20

So this girl that comes to our home group, we invite her.

9:24

She showed up and she met Candice for the first time, and she goes, hey, are you candy pats? She goes, your candy pads?

9:30

And all I know is I was about ted foot away at her. Danny

9:35

goes, I'm candy pants. Anyways, why were you What were you bringing

9:39

up about that? I'm on Melladacious Boulevard. Well, you have been,

9:43

but I think we've both been tired. So what I've noticed over the last

9:48

two weeks is that, like I'm not overly stressed. Work is okay,

9:54

but it's busy, like like it's multitasking from seven am till four or five

9:58

pm. I think I got off the other night like almost six pm.

10:00

Like it's been it's been crazy, right, And then when so when you're

10:05

already tired, and little things do pop up, little fears or little things.

10:11

I was thinking about this on the way in, like how what am

10:16

I doing about that? What is my what? What? What tool am

10:20

I using? And I was going to say that this week right wrong or

10:24

indifferent? This week, the tools I've been using are finding a quiet space.

10:31

Like I went to the cigar lines the other day and this one guy

10:33

was asked me two or three times like are you okay? And what it

10:37

was is I was tired, I didn't feel like conversing, and I really

10:39

just needed to be quiet. I've been kicking my morning prayer meditation up,

10:45

and especially my prayer in the mornings, like really kicking that up. But

10:52

for you, good for I'm so proud of you, you know it.

10:58

Just you're just endearing right now. Oh my god. No, I haven't

11:03

been doing any of that crap. Okay, But that's that's what I want

11:05

to talk about, is the And that's the way we're going to kind of

11:09

go into it today, because I want you to talk about your last three

11:13

months, how awful you've been two others taking it out on them, And

11:18

here's the beauty of it. I'm unaware of self. I have no freaking

11:22

clue a minute claustrophobic kingdom of one over here. I have no idea how

11:26

I beg to you. Well again, we all got together and surveys.

11:31

Did you make a PowerPoint presentation? Yeah? So I think what we want

11:35

to talk about today is do you want to be spiritual? What do we

11:41

mean by spiritual? Do you want to already have all the faith and belief?

11:48

What does that work or action look like? And what do we mean

11:52

by you mean to say it? Yeah? What do we mean by you

11:58

got to do the doing to be in the b I remember the first time

12:01

we heard that. I so profound, and I hope we can explain it

12:05

in a profound way. The reason I wanted us to be the topic is because we had a Matthew's Hope alumni zoom two nights ago and some people have

12:13

like, you know, two plus years sober in the alumni organization on down

12:16

to just a couple of weeks, like they just gotten out of our detox.

12:20

And so it was a good group and an alumni brought the topic.

12:24

But anyways, during the discussion of the topic, a different client said,

12:28

you know, when he got sober, he said, I just wanted to

12:31

already have all the faith. He said he was jealous of other people that

12:35

seemed to just already have this connection or already have this faith, or already

12:39

have this spiritual level, you know, and he just wanted already be that.

12:43

And he described it one way, and it made me remember the doing

12:46

and the doing to be and the being guy that you and I heard years

12:48

ago. Do you remember being newly sober and there was that one person that

12:56

just seemed to be emotionally not flatline, but just call like like today,

13:01

it's my sponsor, John John is sober thirty four, thirty five years I

13:07

just I don't. I think I've seen him frazzled once or twice and not

13:11

even really frazzled. Yeah, you know what I mean. The guy has

13:13

just emotionally sober, spiritually connected. And I remember coming in and seeing people

13:20

like that, and I'm like, I want, but I didn't know what it was. I am back when I was newly sober. I didn't know

13:26

anything about emotional sobriety or that level of spiritual maturity. I saw them as

13:31

like calm, and I thought it was more like book knowledge, like they

13:33

were well read or they knew this spiritual literature, like they knew or faking

13:39

it and hit their wives. They must have studied all of it or something.

13:45

I don't know. I didn't know what it was, and it wasn't

13:48

until, you know, because I was crazy the first year of my sobriety

13:52

and worked the twelve steps three times through because I was just not emotionally well.

13:58

And it's weird because you were crazy the first how long you're at least,

14:03

and then it went dormant until the last two to three months, So

14:07

I get it never dies. It just goes to say I had some profound

14:09

spiritual things and practices even when I was crazy. Yeah, but you really

14:13

did? You did? You got connected? I think to God way sooner

14:18

than most people in the fellowship. I always tell you you're an anomaly. You don't believe it, but I think you really are that. Whether or

14:22

not you were the right amount of surrender in that moment, whether or not

14:26

you had the right amount of faith grow, I don't know what it was.

14:30

I don't know. But I wasn't even aware that I was different in

14:33

any well, I mean I was. I wasn't aware that I had an abnormal level of faith until I don't know, about six months ago when you

14:39

and I I took our like a spiritual gift test and I had one faith

14:46

which I believe I can fully co sign that result, and so like because

14:50

you're like my rock. So when my faith is shaky, when I because

14:56

I'm a skeptic and I don't struggle with doubt, no, and I lean

14:58

on and I have studied interpretation of scripture and doctrine and theology. I think

15:05

it's not about the study of it, though that matters. It's about I

15:07

have a foundation of a belief that's unshakable. It all moved from your head

15:11

to your heart. Like it's just you'll bring up something that I think is

15:15

not, you know, doctrinally sound. I'm like, Nope, that's not

15:20

what it says. And you're like, but what if and you try to

15:22

like, okay, cool, but no, that's not what it says.

15:24

But you also believe that our literature and the twelve step program is divinely inspired.

15:31

And you don't really falter on that either. You're you're fairly because that's

15:35

what I noticed it. And let's put this in a recovery context. What

15:37

I'll notice is sometimes in the twelve step world, no different than in a

15:41

religious world or church or whatever. But in the twelve step world, I'll

15:45

notice that people say things that don't line up with the literature. I'll say

15:50

it that way, and it becomes something that might sound good or sound fluffy,

15:54

but they'll just keep parroting it, and then someone else heard it, and so they'll share it at a different twelve step meeting, you know,

16:00

and it's just like, this is nowhere in our literature, guys, like,

16:03

why are you saying this stuff? And well, and speaking of that

16:06

literature, how about the other literature you know? Where that hit me? It's funny you said that. So this morning, when I was out on

16:12

the back patio sitting quiet, I had been reading and all that Lauren Diagonal

16:18

has a new album out, okay, and I was listening to it and

16:21

get that from me, Laura Diagonal. You know what came to my mind? I wonder how many Christians are going to attack her? Right, even

16:29

though that literature is very clear. Yeah, that says to love your brother

16:33

and sister, love your neighbor and all that stuff. Things can be taken out of context, and I think it becomes dangerous when we think that.

16:38

Just because I've had an experience with something that's fact. So before we go

16:41

anywhere, what is your definition of spiritual my personal definition of spirituality. When

16:48

we're talking to the people about it, what are we saying. I think

16:52

that the epitome of spirituality is altruism. I think the epitome of spirituality means

17:00

someone who's selfless, someone who's willing to sacrifice for others, someone who is

17:04

not obsessively concerned with their own wants or desires or plans all the time.

17:08

I think that this person is altruistic to the core. But it's not an

17:14

overnight matter. You don't just decide to be selfless. We'll get to that in a minute in the next segment. But in my I do have a

17:18

religious belief I tied to it. I do have a religious foundation tied to

17:25

it. But if I'm just giving it broad right now, I think that

17:27

being spiritual means being selfless, period. Okay, like anybody could do that,

17:34

not perfectly, nobody. Will we come back then we're gonna talk about

17:41

what does that path look like you get there, because I will say that you and I are way more giving than we used to be, for sure,

17:47

weren't right. I know I am Yeah, we'll be right back.

17:51

I Relevant Recovery Radio. Just ponder that. Welcome back to Relevant Recovery Radio.

18:07

You have a nice voice. I'm your host with our senior host,

18:12

Heather Mosure in studio. I love your definition of spiritual because that's absolutely not

18:18

what I was thinking you were gonna say. And I'm not even gonna give

18:21

one. I like what you were saying when I go from because when you

18:26

and I got sober separately, right I am, I'm much more wise in

18:30

years and learned. Oh when when we got sober, we were absolutely one

18:41

self obsessed and through the walk that you're going to talk about, through the

18:45

things you're gonna talk about, God, the spirit of the universe began to

18:51

turn that dial and change us and remove that and we became more interested in

18:55

others and I didn't. That's a great definition. Really. I like your

18:59

spiritual being altruistic because the opposite of spiritual is selfish. Because if I'm always

19:03

thinking and here's let me let me just dig into that a second. If

19:07

I'm always thinking of you and how it can serve you and I can help

19:10

you, I'm not worried about a fear of what I'm going to get How am I going to get it? How am I going to keep it?

19:15

I'm not worried about what you think about me. I'm constantly just thinking about

19:18

how can I serve and help you? Is that what you mean? Yes? And so if I so, that's I think that's why maybe spiritual maturity

19:26

or emotional sobriety, however you want to call it. I think that's why

19:29

I developed it quicker earlier on is because of all of the disciplines I was

19:33

doing. I was doing a whole lot of things every day that I did

19:37

not want to do, but I had a specific spiritual intention being nice to

19:42

people. Yeah, yeah, I canentern my phone and sponsoring people, doing

19:48

step work, praying and meditating, doing chores in the house, having a

19:52

curfew, being home, own time anything. I didn't want to do anything

19:55

that the world wanted me to do, right, I wanted to do what I wanted to do. And I won't go into that, but you and

20:03

I were in a meeting once and there was a guy. It was years

20:07

ago, so before the scandemic, but you and I were in a meeting

20:11

and we were talking about emotional sobriety in that meeting and sharing about that,

20:17

and this guy said, you know, when I got sober, I saw all you spiritual people, and I just wanted to be spiritual already. And

20:23

he went on this rant about that how much he wanted to just be spiritual,

20:26

and he said, I found out that there's I have to do the

20:29

doing to be in the being. I don't just get to be spiritual.

20:32

There's a whole lot of doing I have to do and then I get to be. And that stuck with me. That was years ago, probably four

20:38

years ago plus, and so we talked about that in our alumni meeting two

20:44

days ago, and I was explaining that to these other newcomers that that profound

20:48

because he that's just such a simple way to explain it. What are the

20:51

things I want to do well? And let's unpack it a little bit.

20:56

Let's unpack fifty percent of it. So you just hit seven years. Yes,

21:00

so you have not had a drink or a drug for seven years.

21:03

Correct, you've been a little crazier right now on them, but sober you

21:07

have been. Yeah, I've been absolutely sober from all mood and mind altering

21:11

substances other than a surgery for seven years, which I controlled. You controlled.

21:15

You held control the meds, but I'm still crazy. But all right,

21:19

so you've been sober seven years. Over the years, what what have

21:23

you done that is doing the doing? Let unpack that a little bit,

21:26

because here's what I noticed. Some things that I've been consistent at doing is

21:32

like sponsoring others. I've always been willing to say yes to taking on another

21:37

girl. And what a high level. For those who don't understand, what

21:40

does that mean? That means I spend time with them in person at least

21:44

once a week, helping them, reading the book to them and teaching them

21:47

how to do their step work and carrying them through that process. Usually an hour and a half to three hours. And I talk a lot, so

21:52

it's least at least that, right, So that's scheduling with them every week

21:56

to get them to the twelve steps. I'm saying, like, even, but we'll hold on you. You take multiple girls on? How many do

22:00

you have right now? Four? Right now? So four times a week

22:04

you are scheduling an hour and a half to three hours. Yeah, four

22:07

different girls. Yeah, plus your full time job, plus my home group,

22:11

plus my service commitments, plus carrying the message plus whatever would you have

22:15

done that seven years ago, seven years ago, seven seven years and three

22:21

months ago, would you have done that? No? No, no, not before I got so I would have never been that that willing to do

22:26

all of that stuff. I think it's important to look at that because if

22:30

I'm not doing those things well, then I start to get really obsessed about

22:33

what I don't have in life that I want or how you're not treating me

22:37

a certain way. Okay, So sponsorship is one. What are some of

22:40

the other doing the doings? What else? A lot of times in the

22:42

morning, I don't feel like doing prayer and meditation. You know, I'm

22:48

like, I'm barely awake, I'm not comprehending this or whatever. I'm running

22:52

late. I just need to skip today. But for the most part,

22:55

I do make myself sit down and I have a daily reader thing because I

23:00

want to be connected to God. Is it I want to be disciplined a

23:03

spiritual practice for obedience. Yes, okay, And so there's you need discipline,

23:10

yeah, yea. Our literature says we alcoholics are undisciplined, so we

23:12

have to let God discipline us in the simple ways. We just outlined and

23:15

had outlined some specific things, some actions we take in our day to day

23:18

life, right, So we have sponsorship, we have morning prayer, meditation.

23:22

What else? I have a home group that I attend every week.

23:25

I have a service commitment with that home group. So that's a meeting every

23:27

Tuesday night at seven thirty. You are there pretty much rain er shine unless

23:30

you cannot be there. You have a service commitment there. You are involved?

23:34

Yes, what else? Carry the message to another rehab for free?

23:38

I'm involved in my church. I have a small group I just signed up

23:42

for Cadre that starts on this coming Monday, which is like small group training.

23:47

Because you're going to start start a small group, there's trust me.

23:49

What I'd rather do is like go spend all my paycheck at hobby lobby,

23:53

turn the guest room into a craft room, and just make crap and watch

23:56

Netflix and not answer my phone. I'd love. Is that an option?

24:02

It's not an option for me. If I want to be spiritually free, here's what I want our listeners to understand. And wait, wait wait wait

24:07

wait wait wait, what is the line? What is the line? If

24:11

I want to be free, the problem has to be me. That one, No, that's the one I was thinking about page thirty or thirty one.

24:18

Anyways, while you're looking that up, I'm gonna explain something. Think

24:22

about your spiritual well being as like muscles, all right, And so if

24:26

you have ever went into like a nursing home and saw someone elderly that's been

24:30

laying in a bed, you'll know that they're muscles atrophy and they wither away

24:34

because they're not exercising them and using them. And so what I want you

24:38

to correlate this too, is all of these actions that I'm doing that I

24:41

don't want to do, it's exercising the spiritual muscle to regrow this muscle so

24:48

that I can spiritually grow. And here's the answer to the why. In

24:52

our literature, there's a line that says, the delusion that we are like

24:57

other people comma or presently maybe comma has to be smashed. So when you

25:04

first got sober, it was real clear, through your sponsor and through the

25:08

step work like you're not like other people. You don't get to go home

25:11

in netflix and chill like you hit need to hit meetings, You need to

25:15

sponsor. When you're done with taking the twelve steps, you need blah blah

25:18

blah blah. Hold on Devil's Advocate. Maybe there's some normal people that aren't

25:21

drug autic l listen to this, that can get away with not doing these

25:23

things. Okay, that's not what we're talking about. Now that you're seven

25:27

years sober and I'm ten, that's where the comma or presently maybe comes in

25:33

because we still presently not like a normal person even though I'm seven years sober.

25:37

It doesn't matter. I am correct, hyper inclined to being in self

25:42

will run ryant though we don't think so, right, And I think it's

25:45

a twofold reason. Number one, I know that if I don't do certain

25:51

disciplines, the malady will return. Yeah, the insanity will return, and

25:55

I will drink again. And I am fairly certain because I know me.

26:00

Right when we knew that we had to put my dog down, I said

26:04

it was gonna be rough, and it was like, I just know me.

26:07

And if I go drink, I don't know that I'm coming back.

26:11

I just know that. And since like I mean, an addict, if

26:15

I was to relapse, death is highly likely. Like you and I got

26:19

news this week that someone we knew that had years more than ten years relapsed

26:23

and passed away. Yeah, you know, which is rough, but hold

26:26

on, so you have that aspect of it. Okay. So the initial

26:32

delusion that we had to smash that was that we didn't have to do this

26:34

program because we realized that we do if we want to stay sober right now,

26:38

seven and ten years later. The reason it says or presently maybe because

26:42

I still have to do those things. Not only that, but I've also

26:45

gotten a taste of the spiritual side that I like, the side that's content.

26:52

Miss content content Oklahoma word contentment. Peace in the storm, Yeah right,

27:00

Alamity, serenity right instead of your instead of your emotions looking like a

27:06

volatile stock going to the top and to the bottom over and over again,

27:08

it's really run around the middle. A good thing to say, Like if

27:11

you listeners are wondering how emotionally sober you are, your emotional fluctuation your moods

27:19

is a good indication of that. Like you just said, people that could

27:23

be calm one minute and just go into rage the next, or like even

27:27

look at drivers, you know, stupid Houston drivers, they're absolute idiots.

27:30

But people I saw in the news the other day that some lady up near

27:34

us was just like shooting people from her car on Highway six or something like

27:40

that. Would they do exactly? Like, like, who does that?

27:44

So people that are not in control of I don't want to wrongfully accuse her.

27:48

I've seen the day, right, But what I'm saying is people that

27:52

aren't in control their emotional nature are byproduct not spiritually fit. Okay, So

27:56

we have talked about doing, the doing and the why. Right for us,

28:02

it's a matter of staying sober, and for us it's holding onto the

28:07

contentment, the peace that we have gotten a taste of over the years.

28:11

Right. But it's so easy to get lazy, and I think that's what's

28:17

going on with me the last couple of weeks. I think that it's so

28:21

easy to think, well, Gray, I have seven years. I'm good. I am good at my work, I'm good at my home, I'm

28:26

good with my sponses. I'm good. And it's easy for me to when

28:30

I start to get overwhelmed, just to get lazy and be like, I

28:33

don't have time for that. Yeah. Do you think we fluctuate in and

28:36

out of that ebb and flow? Always? Absolutely? Always? So when

28:41

we come back, we're gonna talk, we're gonna close it up on the

28:44

action. We're gonna talk a little bit about getting into the being and so

28:48

don't go anywhere. We'll be right back with Relevant Recovery Radio week. Yeah,

29:08

welcome back the Relevant Recovery Radio and this beautiful hundred and thirty seven degree

29:14

sunday. It's so hot. How you got outside, It's gonna melt your

29:18

face off. I've seen people bake in cookies in their cars dashboard videos.

29:23

I wish you would have said that. There's so many awful jokes around that

29:26

that I do it literally just to bite my tongue. Don't do it.

29:33

So we've been talking about you gotta do the doing to be in the being.

29:38

You don't get to just decide you want to be spiritual. And we've

29:41

been talking about the what the why now, what does some of these actions

29:45

look like? What does it look like if I'm doing the doing? It

29:51

depends with each individual's life. Back, Sorry, let me introduct We've already

29:55

covered that for us being in twelve steps. You're sponsoring, right, you're

29:59

using your time for others. You're setting aside time for prayer, meditation,

30:04

you're involved in a home group, giving your time again with a service commitment,

30:10

right, and so what does some of the other things look like. I work hard, and so I think that people that are emotionally sober or

30:15

spiritually fit would have a good work ethic and a balance to it. Have

30:19

you ever had a job where you worked as hard as you could to not

30:22

work? What? Yeah, I've had jobs in the past where I literally

30:27

hated it so bad. It was like, you work harder at not working

30:30

than you did if you just just your job. Yeah. Yeah, I

30:33

don't know. I'm kind of like a little bit rigid OCD when it comes

30:38

to like workloaded stuff, But I try to not be. I manage other

30:41

people and supervisor of other people, so that some different elements there. I

30:45

don't just get to cluck in, do something and go home. But I

30:48

think that good work ethic goes along with spiritual maturity because there's days that you

30:53

show up that you don't feel like working. Yeah, but you do it

30:56

anyway right through. That's what I was. When we got an elevator to

31:00

come up to this building to record. I told you, I said I

31:03

had an idea yesterday. I said after I get I said, I'm probably

31:06

not going to do it. But my idea was after I get these four

31:08

girls through the steps. I might pause when taking on anyone new so I

31:12

can go to a gem and workout twice a week for a little while.

31:17

Because someone who is also spiritually fit or emotionally sober is going to take care

31:22

of their body. They are going to be healthy to a certain degree.

31:26

My old sponsor, Chris Are always said it, buddy, you've got the

31:30

triangle and the certain does that give away who it is? Buddy, Buddy,

31:34

you've got the circle in the triangle for our fellowship, which recovery,

31:37

unity and service. But you also have another triangle that's equally as important if

31:41

wind in spirit, mind, body and spirit. You also have to be

31:45

honest, he says, with sex checks and meds, like like, there's

31:48

there's something about many balance. There's so many balances of the three with any

31:52

but we're talking about mind, body, spirits. So that was your revelation.

31:56

My revelation was hey, because I'm like, I've been off for a

31:59

couple of weeks and I had this revelation. Were there any beasts? Said

32:01

it? Nope, no revolution beast. So listen or listen when I'm trying

32:06

to tell you, Linda, okay, is I am good? And consistent

32:12

with all the twelve step disciplines, but I still fell off. Well,

32:15

where am I ignoring God? Is the next question? Food and exercise, But an exercise is where I'm ignoring God? For sure. Our whole audience

32:22

actually yelled at the radio when you said it because they know me. They

32:24

know and so there's like a little reason, a literal reason I have a

32:30

trash, Josh Hailey and Josh and hattieburg is it you're laughing right now because

32:35

they know you. So that's where I felt convicted or persuaded, if you

32:38

will, if someone doesn't want to use religious words. I have felt persuaded

32:43

that I'm forty one years old. I haven't stepped foot in a gym.

32:45

I don't think ever. Sure looked good forty one. But what I'm saying

32:50

is you and I we had my blood work done and my blood works perfect.

32:52

But no, you can hate me all you want, but here's the

32:57

thing, it's not. It's not going to always be that way. If

33:00

perfect, that's why I got demon blood. That's right, nelum, what's

33:06

happening right now? I don't know how you eat the way you do in your blood is so perfect, but it's because I was raised in Oklahoma and

33:12

conditions are way different there. I said, your organs have given up.

33:15

And so when I moved to Texas and it's going to get guys. I

33:19

had my first vegetables in Texas, right, Michelle and Sober Living gave me

33:22

the little trees asparagus and brussel sprout tree balls, and so that's my first

33:28

introduction to vegetables. And so I've been eating vegetables now somewhat for seven years,

33:31

and I think my body's responding well because it's this is post Oklahoma anyways.

33:36

Conviction about your health, Yeah, where are you ignoring God? Are

33:38

you ignoring God around prescription medications? Are you ignoring God? Around your sex

33:45

conduct or your intimate relationship behavior? Are you a guy who's watching porn and

33:50

justifying it even though you're married right right, and you're like, Wow,

33:53

it's okay, she doesn't know, and I'm not actually cheating. For some

33:57

people at shopping, you know, you always want the next next thing,

34:00

or you have shopping addiction, or you have to have the coolest thing, or the name brand this, or the or the purse brand this, or

34:05

the shoes this. Around shopping, what is doing the doing. Doing the

34:08

doing means okay, sitting down and making a budget and being responsible and being

34:14

a good steward of Are you giving back? Are you I'll call it tithing,

34:17

but it doesn't have to be called that. Are you giving back to

34:20

the world. Donate to ASPCA, donate to Habitat for Humanity. I don't

34:24

care what you do to be altruistic and be selfless. But just give away

34:30

money. It doesn't even matter. I like it because if you let things

34:35

own you, they own you. You can have money. It's not wrong

34:39

or sinful or bad to have money. It's just bad if the money has

34:43

you, which is most of the world, and it is with anything,

34:46

if it's with around body image or with it with the clothes or shopping or

34:51

gambling or lottery. We're talking about building character or we're talking about doing the

34:53

opposite of what we really kind of want to do. So your selfish nature

34:58

and my selfish nature has core instincts, instincts for sex, social, and

35:04

security. So we have desires and when we band aid those desires, like

35:07

let's say security, Well, if I get a big house, or I

35:10

get a cool car, or I get the better paying job, I feel

35:15

band aided in my security for a minute, for a short time, for a short or if a counterfeit stack money in the bank, Well, when

35:20

I have this so much in the bank, then I'll feel secure. Well, you just need more. Big banks could fail tomorrow, buddy, and

35:24

then you have nothing. Where's your security then? So when we talk about

35:29

doing the doing, I think we're a little off track. Actually, well,

35:31

because well, we're really talking about our spiritual tools and spiritual practices.

35:37

I went off on that tangent so that it would apply to more listeners,

35:40

so they could see how selfishness manifests. So then they can see, oh,

35:46

well, what's the opposite of that? Okay, okay, okay,

35:50

So what's the opposite of that? To turn your thoughts to someone you can

35:53

help? Turn your thoughts to. Who's someone who doesn't have what you have,

35:57

or that you can be there for, or that you can encourage,

35:59

or that you can counsel, or that you can just sit with. Like, here's what's really stupid. Sometimes it's super spiritual for me to just answer

36:06

my phone. I don't want to, I'm telling you. Sometimes in the

36:12

core of me, I don't want to answer my phone. Really. Usually

36:17

answer you. But what I'm saying is when my phone rings and I'm busy

36:22

doing something else and I don't want to answer it. When I look at it, sometimes there's this nudge in my spirit that says, you know,

36:29

be kind and answer it. Be there for them. This is an opportunity

36:32

for me to be selfless by answering my phone and being consider of someone else.

36:36

All right, So if someone did it for me, So if we begin taking action that is counter right to the wants and desires the ladies,

36:47

if you become altruistic, I'll propose that question to you, sir. What's

36:52

the benefits? What do you see that starts to occur in your life when

36:57

you do the doing once you Once you do it for enough time, you

37:04

begin to feel peace and contentment. Because when I get validation esteem things like

37:08

that from God from doing for others, I begin to get real validation.

37:13

It's not fleeting, it's not counterfeit. The self esteem from doing what's right,

37:17

whether I want to or not, It begins to build character. Yeah,

37:22

I think in the end you get that gift of peace. What does

37:28

piece mean? Piece is that I can go sit out of my back patio,

37:31

lay my phone down, stare at the backyard, have nothing in my

37:36

head and feel completely content. You know. It's it's weird. Sometimes I

37:42

will and just be Yeah. Sometimes I'll be like walk into my car,

37:45

you know, or driving to work or something, I will have this extreme

37:51

peace or joy even wash over me. It's not like a like feeling like

37:54

Heroin. It's not like that, but it's stiller, but it's different.

38:00

But I'm just saying follow me. That's kind of fuzzy and itchy on your notes. But anyways, what I'm saying is is sometimes I'll be a life

38:05

and it's just the thought or the feeling is I love my life? Yes?

38:08

Do you ever feel guilty for your life? I sometimes I feel guilty

38:12

that I love my life so much, and I'm like, oh crap,

38:15

when's the other shoe gonna drop? And something bad's gonna happen to balance this out? Because life's too good, right, But it's like, okay,

38:21

Well, as long as I keep loving God's kids and doing things for God's

38:23

kids and I stop focusing on myself, the byproduct seems to be happy,

38:29

joyous and free. I don't really know how it works, but I'm glad it does. And That doesn't mean that it never goes wrong. It doesn't

38:34

mean that life is peaches, but it gives me the tools to handle the

38:38

downs life on life's terms. Don't you think I think so too, and

38:44

so thank you for listening. Don't forget those who stand for nothing will fall

38:47

for anything. Thanks for listening to Relevant Recovery Radio today. Hashtag God though he