0:00

The best women's soccer players in the world

0:02

play in WPS, and the best

0:05

of the very best are here today in Rochester.

0:09

This was something Sinead Farley couldn't

0:11

even have imagined as a little kid,

0:13

watching us 99ers win the World Cup. It

0:17

was her rookie year in the Women's

0:18

Professional Soccer League, and her

0:20

team, the Philadelphia Independents, made

0:22

it to the finals. The Flash and

0:24

the Independents, the 2011

0:26

WPS Championship

0:28

game is underway. They

0:31

are awesome. Scrappy, hardworking,

0:33

and tough as hell. They don't have

0:35

the star power of the other teams, but

0:38

they have the fight. And

0:40

they have two-time

0:41

coach of the year, Paul Reilly. Don't underestimate

0:44

the importance of good coaching. Paul

0:46

Reilly, figuring the right way to advance

0:49

throughout the season. The stands are packed

0:51

and the crowd is lively. It's

0:53

tied at zero, and neither team

0:55

wants to give an inch. When the

0:57

game is unexpectedly stopped.

0:59

The entire WPS Championship game

1:01

is on hold for a squirrel who

1:03

has taken complete control of the 18. As

1:06

they chase the squirrel around trying to trap

1:08

it in a box, the camera cuts to Abby

1:10

Wambach on

1:11

the sidelines. She's a local

1:13

legend in Rochester, a star

1:15

on the U.S. Women's National Team and on her

1:18

WPS team, which just got eliminated

1:20

by Philly in the semifinals. Abby,

1:23

how does it feel? A fantastic year so

1:25

far. With the World Cup,

1:27

you had great success. The national

1:30

team had just returned from the 2011 World

1:32

Cup, where they made it to another final.

1:35

They lost to Japan, but their performance

1:38

had reignited interest in women's soccer.

1:41

Now she was there trying to direct some of

1:43

that World Cup attention towards the league. Because

1:46

she and everyone in it knew it was precarious.

1:49

You know, it's a celebration of soccer today. I

1:51

think that the WPS is a great avenue

1:54

for people to get out and see not just stars from

1:56

the U.S., but stars from all over the world.

1:59

This was now the... second attempt at

2:01

a women's professional league since the US's 99

2:04

World Cup win. The first

2:06

league folded after just a few years, and

2:08

at this point it was clear that the WPS

2:11

was also in danger of sinking.

2:14

But that was the last thing on Sinead's mind. She

2:18

was having a great season. She'd

2:20

been a starting midfielder in every game until

2:22

a recent injury. But Paul Riley

2:24

had gotten her back into shape in time to

2:26

start her in the final. Sinead

2:30

had never heard of him before being drafted, but she learned quickly. In the

2:32

league,

2:42

he

2:48

had a kind of cult following. The

2:50

way that players talked about him, the way he was

2:52

with his coaching staff, like he was at the

2:54

top. He made all the rules.

2:57

Everyone listened. Everyone respected him. He

3:00

was in full power. Paul

3:02

demanded excellence. Held them

3:04

to the highest standards. He drilled

3:07

players over and over until they

3:09

did everything exactly as

3:11

he wanted. He ran them hard

3:13

too. It was brutal. But

3:16

Sinead wanted to be pushed. She

3:18

was all in.

3:19

I definitely put him on a pedestal

3:22

and I wanted him to like me. I wanted

3:25

him to play me, obviously. Yeah,

3:28

I wanted to like prove myself to him

3:31

and be in his good graces. And

3:33

it felt like that's where you had to be.

3:38

And she was. Sinead was

3:40

having the season any rookie would dream

3:43

of. A starting position in a championship

3:45

game and a coach who really believed

3:48

in her and had the power to make

3:50

her

3:50

a superstar.

3:54

But he also had the power to manipulate

3:56

her and to take it all away.

5:59

young players mentally too, with

6:01

that same intensity. We were winning

6:04

1-0 in the state cup final and there

6:06

was a ball over the top and a girl was running on and I just

6:08

came flying and took her out, got a red card,

6:11

got kicked out of the game, walked over to the bench, had never

6:13

had a red card in my life so I didn't even know what to

6:15

do. I was crying on the bench and I

6:17

looked up at him and he said, don't look at me, you have to go over

6:19

there. And I had to go in the bleachers. And then

6:22

we lost 7-1. And

6:26

after the game he was like, you remember

6:28

this. But one mistake does.

6:31

I still have like the silver medal in my

6:34

childhood room with a post-it on it that

6:36

says, never forget. And I

6:38

was just like, I'll never let this happen again.

6:41

But for every criticism, Paul would also

6:43

lavish praise on Michelle. Once

6:46

she got into high school and got her own cell phone,

6:48

he text her. This stuff he was texting

6:51

me was literally like how

6:53

much of a star I was, what my future was.

6:56

You have the world at your feet and at your hands.

6:59

But Paul's feedback wasn't always constructive.

7:02

He could be an asshole and he would say terrible things

7:04

to the players on my team. I mean, say

7:07

like to a 15-year-old girl, like you

7:09

would win that header in the midfield if you didn't have

7:11

the refrigerator on your ass. Or

7:13

a minute on the lips, a lifetime on the hips.

7:16

There are plenty of girls on our team with eating disorders.

7:19

Another girl on my club team who's having heart palpitations

7:21

because all she drank was diet shakes all day.

7:24

We would just be like, how little can

7:26

we eat at lunch? And I'd just have a salad.

7:29

And that's like what we knew.

7:34

Obviously it's dangerous for a coach to

7:36

talk like that to anyone, but especially

7:38

with teenage girls. I mean,

7:41

to me, as a coach, if you feel like

7:43

your players are coming in unfit, then run

7:45

them more. Don't degrade them.

7:48

Because it's their nature as driven athletes

7:50

to be obsessive. That's what it takes.

7:53

So how a coach channels that ambition,

7:56

it's vital.

8:00

know if there's a way to convey that desperation

8:03

that we feel, except that like it's everything.

8:06

How much can you put up with how much can you sacrifice

8:09

to achieve the dream? And it's

8:11

unfortunately not just like the hours you put in

8:13

on the field.

8:15

You see this light at the end of the tunnel, but it's

8:17

not just in your control. Actually,

8:19

so much of it is out of your control. There's

8:22

this whole pathway and you need to play consistently

8:24

and you need to play well and you need to

8:26

have your coaches speaking well of you.

8:29

Like if your coach wants you to text him back, you're going to

8:31

text him back.

8:34

If they're making you feel uncomfortable, but you're

8:36

getting on the field, okay.

8:39

We are just living in sacrifice every

8:41

day for this one thing. And

8:44

there's usually one man at the head of it that controls

8:47

it.

8:54

Michelle's right.

8:56

The truth is men have always been the gatekeepers

8:58

in women's soccer.

9:00

Even when we make gains, the men often

9:02

come out on top.

9:03

Remember title nine, the landmark

9:06

bill that poured money into girls and women's

9:08

sports. Well, that also

9:10

meant better paying coaching jobs. And

9:13

guess who got those jobs?

9:16

The higher up the chain of command you went,

9:19

the less likely you were to find a woman at

9:21

the table. Athletic directors,

9:23

investors, lead commissioners, the

9:25

head of US Soccer Federation, historically,

9:29

overwhelmingly men. And

9:32

to be fair, some of those men were great.

9:34

I mean, I owe my career to some fantastic

9:37

male coaches, but we

9:39

were still women playing

9:41

soccer in a man's world. This

9:45

is how it's always been. The 99ers

9:48

had broken through that boys club and

9:50

given Michelle and Sinead and all the little

9:52

girls hope that they too could be taken

9:54

seriously as players. But

9:57

still, we were rarely considered for any

9:59

position of

9:59

real power. And

10:02

not just that, an undercurrent of sexism

10:04

followed us everywhere we went,

10:06

one that focused more on our physical appearances

10:09

than our achievements.

10:11

You could see it in headlines like the

10:13

babe factor in soccer team success

10:16

or talented and sexy US

10:18

team has it all. David Letterman

10:21

called us soccer mamas when we all

10:23

went on his show.

10:29

But women's soccer never had enough support

10:31

from sponsors or fans. So

10:34

the league was always operating on a shoestring

10:36

budget

10:37

with most players at the bottom of the pay

10:39

scale.

10:40

In her rookie season with the WPS, Sinead,

10:43

the number two draft pick, says she

10:45

signed a contract for about $15,000. So

10:49

she stayed in her hometown. I agreed

10:52

to live at home with my parents. It

10:54

was just like, I'll just deal with the money that

10:57

I have. I can afford to buy food and

11:00

that's all I care about.

11:01

I talked to Sinead about this because I lived

11:03

it too. I played a season

11:05

for the Washington Freedom and during

11:08

home games we had to share locker room

11:10

space with high school volleyball players.

11:13

You're living your dream and you're

11:16

playing pro but you're

11:18

like, this was my dream? Yeah,

11:20

like this is it? It seemed like

11:22

I thought it was going to be. Everyone

11:25

is acting out of survival mode. You know,

11:27

the culture too of pro is like, if

11:30

you're not going to do it, there's going to be someone else that's going to come

11:32

in and do it. And so

11:34

you're trying to survive, you're trying to hold on to this dream.

11:41

Sinead had wanted to go pro so badly

11:43

that she left college before graduating

11:46

to play at the top level of women's soccer

11:48

in the country.

11:49

In the world even.

11:51

But in a lot of ways, it felt like a step down.

11:55

It was a big transition. Yeah, especially

11:58

coming from lots.

11:59

of funding, lots of high

12:02

level facilities, weight

12:04

rooms, all these specialized

12:06

coaches to a

12:08

pro league that you would think in your mind

12:10

should be another step up, but

12:13

dramatically not that at

12:15

all. And then the constant

12:18

feeling

12:18

of being labeled pro,

12:20

but not feeling like it at all on

12:23

any way, shape or form. There's a sense

12:26

of we just need to be grateful

12:28

that we have a job at all because

12:30

there's complaining among

12:32

the team a lot, like, why don't we have this, like

12:35

basic necessities, but no one

12:37

actually saying things. And

12:40

some older players, I remember them like

12:43

trying to justify why we

12:46

had to just accept what we had. It was like,

12:49

we're still trying to make it work. We

12:51

want the fans, we want

12:53

little girls to still want to aspire

12:55

to be here. If we're

12:58

really talking about what's happening behind the scenes,

13:01

no one's going to come watch us. No one's

13:03

going to want to play pro. We

13:05

didn't want to ruin that dream. It was like ruining

13:07

little girls dreams.

13:10

So let's pretend that this

13:13

is amazing. Let's just be grateful

13:16

that we're here, that we're getting paid and we have

13:18

a feel to show up to.

13:21

That field, by the way, was the

13:23

exact same place she had practices

13:25

during her club days in high school.

13:27

It wasn't what she had imagined, but it

13:30

was playing pro soccer. So

13:32

what if she had to make some sacrifices

13:33

along the way? But

13:35

the national team was different. We

13:37

were paid more, but also we could get

13:39

endorsements. So when national team

13:42

players went back to their league team locker rooms,

13:44

the difference was palpable. Probably

13:46

every girl that plays in the end of ESL has dreamed

13:49

of playing on the US national team.

13:51

Michelle Betos again.

13:52

We'd play a game like what's the craziest thing you would do to be

13:55

on the national team? What's the craziest thing you would do

13:57

to whatever? And it's like, got bad. sports

14:00

are cutthroat as it is because you always want more and you

14:02

want to play and you want to start. But I think it's this almost

14:04

other level of cutthroat because it's like you're

14:07

fighting to literally have a livable wage.

14:10

Here, if you're not making on the

14:12

higher tier of a salary,

14:14

your entire life is a sacrifice. You're

14:16

probably not having a family because you can't support

14:18

one. You may be working another job.

14:20

Like I needed a car and I

14:22

bought a car for $500 on Craigslist that

14:25

didn't have a roof. Like it had rusted off.

14:27

They called it rusty and I

14:29

didn't have a gas gauge so I just run out of gas like all

14:32

the time.

14:33

And the discrepancy between like being

14:35

the 20th player on the national

14:37

team and the 21st that doesn't make the roster

14:39

like your lives are night and day.

14:43

But even in this highly competitive environment,

14:46

Sinead stood out.

14:48

Partway

14:48

through her rookie year, she got called

14:50

up to the national team training camp.

14:52

The World Cup was coming up pretty soon. Erika

14:55

Walsh was the assistant of the

14:57

U.S. team at that time and she had come to

14:59

the game to get me. And

15:02

she was like, Lindsay Tarpley just got

15:05

her and we think he'd be a good fit.

15:08

I'm going to take you to camp with me. I know

15:10

it's last minute, but I figured I would just like come

15:12

get you and bring you with me.

15:15

This

15:17

was a huge opportunity for Sinead,

15:20

not just because of the pay, but because of the game.

15:23

She'd be playing on an international stage among

15:26

the world's very best. She

15:28

thought Paul would be delighted.

15:30

He was really upset that

15:33

they came and took me without

15:35

telling him.

15:38

Paul had sent other players to the national team, but

15:40

with Sinead, it was different. I

15:43

felt this divide like I had to choose

15:46

between the U.S. team and Philly. Like where

15:48

does your loyalty lie Sinead? No

15:51

competitive coach wants to give up one of their strongest

15:53

players during the season,

15:56

but the league isn't the end of the line. If

15:58

you have a great player, you want

16:00

them to improve their skill set to grow,

16:03

to have a chance to compete and represent

16:06

their country on a global stage. Sinead

16:10

ended up going to camp, but her heart

16:12

wasn't in it. She didn't really connect

16:15

with the team, and the whole time,

16:17

she felt like she was betraying Paul and her

16:19

teammates in Philly.

16:23

When the U.S. national team later called

16:25

her to offer her a spot on the World

16:27

Cup squad, she said

16:30

no. I remember

16:32

when I turned down the national team, being

16:35

like, I can't wait to tell Paul, like, he's

16:38

gonna be so proud of me, and he was.

16:43

Sinead's mom was confused. The

16:46

national team had always been her daughter's

16:48

dream,

16:49

but Paul assured her that it was Sinead's

16:51

choice to stay with Philly.

16:53

It was where she was happy, where

16:55

she belonged. She wanted to stay here,

16:58

and he made it sound like, oh, we're

17:00

taking such good care of her, and we've got this

17:02

great team.

17:04

That just took him at face value. He

17:06

seemed like a great guy and

17:08

a great coach who clearly saw something

17:11

in her daughter and was invested in her

17:13

success. I really enjoyed

17:15

being with Paul. Like, he was good fun, but I

17:17

mean,

17:18

I didn't really know him as a person other than every

17:20

time I saw him, he would arm

17:23

around, and oh, how's it going? And we're taking

17:25

such good care of Sinead, and she's doing this,

17:27

and she's doing that, and she's great.

17:31

But there

17:31

was something Janelle found odd. With

17:34

Sinead living at home, she noticed dramatic

17:36

changes in her daughter. She was

17:39

training really hard, but also partying

17:41

harder than ever, and Paul was

17:43

part of that too. That

17:45

would have been the one thing

17:47

I didn't care for with Paul, that

17:51

he was so involved

17:53

in the whole drinking with

17:55

the players.

17:58

friend

18:00

went to meet up with Sinead. The team

18:02

had gone to a bar to celebrate, and

18:05

Paul was there.

18:22

He

18:30

made it his business

18:33

to know a lot about his players,

18:35

especially during late nights at the bars.

18:47

He had a way of asking about sensitive

18:49

details. One night Sinead

18:51

even told him about the abusive relationship

18:54

she'd been trying to get out of for years. And

18:57

there was something else. He

19:01

had comments about

19:04

how I could get any guy I wanted, and just comments

19:06

like that. But I didn't think

19:08

it was weird. That just felt

19:10

normal within the culture. Sometimes

19:13

he would say those things to me or

19:15

one or two other players while other people were

19:17

around. You're watching

19:19

how everyone else is reacting, and it's just

19:22

laughter. And be like, ha ha,

19:24

okay. Just trying to like

19:27

not reject your coach.

19:30

At the time Sinead was a 21 year old

19:32

rookie.

19:33

Paul was 47 and married.

19:36

The sexual comments were uncomfortable

19:38

at times, but also, on

19:40

this team anyway, normal. I've

19:42

already been through college. I've already been

19:44

sexualized by men

19:47

and objectified and had to

19:49

laugh my way through a bunch of comments

19:51

like that before. I knew how

19:54

to not upset

19:55

a man, neutralizing

19:58

the situation almost. Stay

20:01

with us. Sinead

20:04

had passed up the chance of a lifetime

20:06

to play for the national team. And when

20:08

Philly made it to the league championships, it

20:10

felt like maybe she'd made the right decision.

20:16

It wasn't the World Cup, but this team,

20:18

this coach, they were her family. The

20:24

championship game was intense. And

20:26

even though Philly was the underdog going in,

20:29

they held the Western New York Flash at

20:31

0-0 through the first half.

20:33

Then,

20:36

in the 64th minute, New

20:38

York scores. And

20:39

is up by one. Until

20:42

the final minutes of the game. When

20:44

Philly's Amy Rodriguez equalizes

20:47

and sends the game into overtime.

20:59

The game is still tied after overtime. And

21:02

so the championship will be decided on

21:04

penalty

21:04

kicks. After the

21:06

first four kickers, it comes down

21:08

to Philly's Laura Del Rio. She

21:11

steps up to take the kick.

21:12

The

21:16

kick is blocked. New

21:20

York wins. 2011 WPS

21:23

champions.

21:27

Sinead and her teammates are gutted.

21:30

It was just really, really tough. I

21:32

just remember feeling so defeated,

21:34

like mentally, emotionally, physically.

21:38

Our owner rented out a bar for us. We

21:41

had food and free drinks. And

21:44

it was like a celebration of our season, slash

21:47

like a drowning of our sorrows and how

21:50

just upset we were. Eventually,

21:55

everyone decided to head back to the hotel and

21:57

keep the party going in the lobby.

21:59

went back together to the hotel, like coaches,

22:02

staff, members on the team, we all

22:04

stuffed into this van. And everyone's

22:07

not looking. We're all just trying to fit 30 people,

22:09

basically, in one 15-passenger van. So

22:12

everyone's squishing. All the seats are already done.

22:15

So I'm squishing back to go in the back row. And

22:17

Paul's sitting there. People are already sitting on people's

22:20

laps. So I'm now sitting on his

22:22

lap.

22:24

Paul grabbed me just around

22:26

my hips.

22:30

My stomach dropped. And

22:37

I felt really uncomfortable. I

22:40

was trying to see if anyone else

22:42

saw. I

22:44

felt claimed in that moment.

22:48

He had made up his mind and

22:50

took it to the next step by actually touching

22:52

me.

22:56

It had made it real. I could blow

22:58

off the comments. And there was still

23:00

that boundary there that it wasn't physical.

23:04

And there was this line cross. This

23:06

doesn't feel right. Yet

23:08

I feel powerless. Like, I don't have a choice.

23:11

That I have to do what he says. That I can't reject

23:13

him in this moment. It would rupture

23:16

any relationship I have with him, and

23:18

hence, like, my career, but also

23:20

change the mood of our whole team hanging out right

23:23

now and causing an issue.

23:26

I

23:26

had no power to be like, don't touch

23:28

me there. That feels uncomfortable.

23:34

That was like such a pivotal moment. Sorry.

23:44

It like flashes through my brain.

23:48

Because it just felt like the moment I felt

23:50

completely imprisoned.

23:57

It was like this decision had been

23:59

made by him.

23:59

and I couldn't go back on it.

24:06

And yeah, that was the

24:08

same night that we had sex. Paul

24:18

Riley later denied ever having a sexual

24:20

relationship with Sinead, but

24:23

she remembers things very differently.

24:26

She says that the day after, she

24:28

felt ashamed, violated

24:31

even, but also sad

24:34

because that relationship she had with Paul

24:37

as her coach, her advocate, her

24:39

mentor, it would never be the

24:41

same, but it

24:43

was done.

24:45

And now this coach with all the power

24:48

had even more.

24:50

He held the secret that

24:52

she felt could destroy her. She

24:55

didn't tell anyone what happened. And

24:58

a few months later, under the weight of some

25:00

internal conflicts and financial strain, the

25:03

league folded. Two

25:05

leagues in less than 10 years had collapsed.

25:08

The reality was that leagues come and

25:10

go, but powerful coaches remain.

25:13

They are the ones who train you, play

25:16

you, help you chase your dream.

25:19

They hold the keys.

25:23

The league wouldn't take care of her, but Paul would. And

25:27

so Sinead would keep quiet for

25:29

now.

25:34

Next time on Counterattack,

25:37

Paul moves on to a new league, a

25:39

new team, and a new player.

25:42

I could not believe that I was in that position.

25:45

We're not talking about soccer. This

25:47

is absolutely not someone I'm attracted

25:49

to, but he is taking me on a date.

25:54

But this time, she has no

25:56

intention of keeping quiet.

26:10

There is a lot of information online about sexual

26:12

grooming, including how to recognize the

26:14

warning signs and what to

26:16

do if you or someone you know is

26:19

being groomed for an abusive relationship. Counterattack

26:25

is hosted by me, Brianne Scurry. Jessica

26:28

Pupovack is our senior producer. Josie

26:32

Holtzman is our lead producer. Carly

26:34

Perruccio is associate producer. Our

26:37

editors are Rachel Ward and Michael

26:39

Garofalo. Liz Boyd

26:41

is our fact checker. Merit Jacob

26:43

is our engineer. Production

26:45

support from Megan Coyle, Sarah McCrory

26:47

and Sylvie Douglas. Special

26:50

thanks to Victor Bueller, Chelsea Murata,

26:53

Kevin Sullivan, Joe Levin and

26:55

Dana Hooper.

26:57

Our executive producers are Gotham Chopra,

27:00

Amit Sankaran and Adam Schlossman.

27:07

Counterattack is a production of Religion

27:09

of Sports and PRX. If

27:11

you like what you hear, please follow us, subscribe

27:14

and leave us a review at ROS Presents

27:17

Counterattack. From

27:34

PRX.