0:00

Welcome to Sad Boy, it's

0:02

a podcast about feelings and other

0:04

things. Also, I'm Jarvis. I'm Jordan.

0:06

Jacob is annoying. Yeah. This makes

0:09

it your job more difficult. This

0:11

is like your Doppler effect, right?

0:13

You're like, whoo. Does Uncle? No. No.

0:16

It just sounds like you're doing

0:18

exactly what you're doing. Yeah, that's

0:20

what are the odds. Who could

0:22

have thought? Who could have predicted

0:24

that? I want to address something

0:26

up front. I'm wearing shorts and

0:28

my thighs are out. Go ahead.

0:30

It's summer. It's summer time. I

0:33

think anticipating a storm in LA

0:35

today. A large storm. Mate, what's

0:37

going on with? The way, oh,

0:39

where's the sun I was promised?

0:41

It does feel like we're getting

0:43

like a series of trials.

0:45

Um, so I had to address

0:48

that. The other thing

0:50

I have to address

0:52

before I forget, who

0:55

sings before I forget?

0:57

Oh, I have a mom

0:59

before I am a man.

1:01

Oh, do I map

1:04

anymore understand? Before

1:06

I forget. Before

1:09

I forget. Before

1:11

I forget. Before

1:14

I forget. I wasn't sure if

1:16

it was the art style or

1:18

the tone or not. I was

1:20

losing my bean listening. So before

1:23

I forget by Slip Not I

1:25

wanted to say that have you

1:27

watched Dragon Well Dima? I

1:29

started it and I've been

1:31

avoiding it because the well

1:33

I wasn't sure if it was

1:35

the art style or the tone or

1:37

not tone but just like

1:39

the screenshots I saw like

1:42

weren't so. enticing. We've had our heart

1:44

broken too many times. Right. And so I am,

1:46

but you know, to honor the later Curatoriama, this

1:48

being the last project he worked on, I was

1:50

like, I gotta get in there, you know. And

1:53

I did see that it was on Netflix and

1:55

I don't know if there's a dub or anything

1:57

yet, but it was on Netflix with Sub, which

1:59

I'm perfectly fine. and watching, the problem is

2:01

I need to lock in and read

2:03

subtitles. And, um... And right now we're

2:05

both in the process of screen-maxing.

2:08

We are screen-axing. I am, every activity,

2:10

I need to have an AFK Runscape

2:12

task going. And... Goku, wait, I'm busy.

2:14

No, literally, so I have a, on

2:16

my room light, which is like the Runscape

2:19

client. I have, it has a

2:21

notification feature, where... game events can

2:23

send notifications, like when your character

2:25

becomes idle if you're doing like

2:27

a task. So I would literally

2:29

be doing tasks where like it

2:31

could focus the client and just jump

2:33

in front of my face and then I could

2:35

like do the thing it needed to do and

2:37

then go back to reading the subtitles.

2:39

Optimizing a sweet mixing? I watch

2:42

about three episodes last night. I

2:44

actually... Where is it on the boom meter?

2:46

I'm gonna give it boom boom. I'm gonna give

2:48

it boom boom. Oh, I see an upturned kind of...

2:50

I don't know. We're going to see where

2:52

it goes. It's got a few questionable booms

2:55

because I got to see where it goes,

2:57

but I'm having a fun time. And we

2:59

talked a little bit more about it. I

3:01

spoiled episode one for Jordan premise wise. That'll

3:03

be on nights at patron.com slash

3:05

sad boys, mostly because we wanted to

3:07

just start with the title topic and

3:09

I want to spare you the details.

3:11

So that's our patron exclusive podcast

3:14

where it's basically like this except

3:16

for more. No obligation. Get in

3:18

there if you fancy. But we were having a

3:20

meeting about where we were going to talk about.

3:22

And Jacob brought up this genre of

3:24

video, or someone brought it up. And then

3:27

Jacob was like, I can find a hundred

3:29

of these by tomorrow. And we're like, what?

3:31

There was a moment. I don't even remember

3:34

the exact phrasing. But Jacob sometimes would just

3:36

say something that is not a joke and

3:38

still cracks me up. Because Jacob, you may

3:40

laugh a lot. But the funniest thing

3:43

is when you just say something extremely

3:45

dry. And it was something related to

3:47

funny the videos. And he said something

3:49

in the vein of like, yeah, there's

3:51

a bunch of people doing this for

3:53

some reason. People think this is important.

3:55

Some people think this is important. I

3:57

think our jobs have essentially made.

3:59

it so that Jacob and I

4:02

have a hobby of collecting

4:04

weird shit online. By the way

4:06

the list that Jacob has

4:08

here of fake soldiers I

4:10

was going to say I

4:12

literally was about to say

4:14

it's where I wouldn't eat

4:16

green eggs and ham. In

4:18

the hospital on the plane

4:20

on the swims. Oh wow.

4:22

Following her in the park.

4:24

Okay, let's... Anastasia did all

4:26

the hard work for this one.

4:29

Oh yeah, so shout out Anastasia.

4:31

Don't shout out Shannon. Shout

4:33

Shannon. Credit removed? Shout out

4:35

Shannon. Credit taken away?

4:38

Extracted and given to Shannon.

4:40

I ran into Shannon. What

4:42

a delight. That's actually a great

4:44

thing about living in LA for

4:46

a while. You just run into

4:48

people and it's fun. And Shannon

4:50

is like, was our friend first who,

4:53

you know, was we were like, hey, want

4:55

to help? People say it's the city

4:57

is just a big old town. Some

4:59

say the city is just a big

5:01

old town. I think many, almost definitionally,

5:03

yes. They do say that. I think

5:06

we're all in the same place.

5:08

Okay. So let's lay the groundwork. for

5:10

what these videos are because when you

5:12

it was first described to me

5:14

I was concerned that we could be

5:17

making light of a very real experience

5:19

that people have and a

5:21

very heartwarming experience that people

5:24

have which is those videos

5:26

where you know your husband's out like on

5:28

is deployed you know in the armed services.

5:30

doing war and then and then they come

5:32

back and a lot of times it'll be

5:34

like a surprise video and their significant other

5:36

or their kids it's very heartwarming it's like

5:38

those and then videos where like a dog

5:40

is reunited with its owner are like you

5:43

know things that will bring a tear to

5:45

my eye yeah it really is one of

5:47

those like it supersedes my feelings about the

5:49

military to like it almost feels like propaganda

5:51

where it's like catching me and going like

5:53

that sweet we should it's propaganda for never

5:56

having them leave home to a general by

5:58

the general by the way I want

6:00

to preface this by saying

6:02

the reason why those videos

6:04

are so heartwarming is

6:07

honestly because having a

6:09

family member in the

6:11

military is extremely hard

6:14

like yeah and being in

6:16

the military away from your

6:18

family and you know it

6:20

is so emotional and I

6:23

think you know military families

6:25

just They have a rough time, you

6:27

know, because you're like, you don't know

6:29

if your family members coming home, first

6:32

of all. Yeah. And second of all,

6:34

they're just a way a lot, you

6:36

know, so it's like... With a constant,

6:38

like, oh, what's this phone call about?

6:40

Yeah. Or someone's at the door. And also...

6:43

So we love those videos as a

6:45

society, because they are very heartwarming.

6:47

It's like, so, there's so much

6:49

love there. It's a little like

6:51

the videos of somebody like coming

6:53

out of arrivals to a family

6:56

they haven't seen for a while and

6:58

like a sign. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Human.

7:00

So that's not what we're making. What

7:02

we're making fun of is people who

7:04

are imitating them for profit. And

7:06

that is like, that has happened

7:08

with every possible genre that can

7:10

make money. for as long as

7:12

I can remember. Remarkable has taken

7:15

this long for this. This seems

7:17

like a pretty... It is, that,

7:19

but also it's like, we had

7:21

to reach, peak, like, cynicism to

7:23

get to this, I feel. We're

7:25

post-ironita. Yeah. This is just like, well,

7:27

whatever. I've already taken photos

7:29

of my baby and posted them. I

7:32

feel like these types of videos started

7:34

on like Snapchat, like the

7:36

Snapchat, Discover page, that I

7:38

always forget exists. The worst

7:40

content you've ever laid your eyes on

7:42

and then it migrated to YouTube

7:45

shorts and like Instagram. I've

7:47

got a peek back at the snap

7:49

because we've been there before and it

7:51

was a scary place. I heard a rumor

7:53

that, well I think that the reason

7:55

why Snapchat has always had like

7:58

the worst kind of content. I

8:00

heard a rumor at one point

8:02

that they were like giving like

8:05

huge sums of money to whatever

8:07

creator had the most like engagement

8:09

or like they did have a

8:11

program that you could basically it

8:14

was almost like a contest yeah

8:16

of like you could win like

8:18

a million dollars or whatever like

8:21

getting the most views yeah and

8:23

so people were just helping out

8:25

it was essentially monetizing a race

8:27

to the bottom yeah And there

8:30

are, of course, right away, ethics

8:32

kind of flew out to look

8:34

out. Yeah, exactly. Like, hey, under

8:37

the right circumstances, could have been

8:39

me. And that's always gonna happen

8:41

in these unfettered algorithms where you

8:43

are optimizing engagement over all else,

8:46

which is why, like, if you

8:48

create a Twitter account right now.

8:50

and don't heavily prune your feed

8:52

you're gonna get like snuff films

8:55

in your feed without even like

8:57

it will default to kind of

8:59

like if you don't log into

9:02

YouTube and you're not like on

9:04

a familiar IP the first thing

9:06

that happens is like Jimmy Kimmel

9:08

interview like it's the most baby

9:11

monkey and then it's like oh

9:13

crazy clips I wonder what they

9:15

post it's like watch a guy

9:18

loses head clips that go hard

9:20

decapitation five from a producers perspective

9:22

we got told many times that

9:24

if we started posting on Snapchat

9:27

we could make really good money

9:29

and and that's just from like

9:31

sort of the ad sense of

9:33

that equivalent that Snapchat does and

9:36

and Jarvis and I were always

9:38

just like we don't want to

9:40

do I'm so bad at making

9:43

money it is the worst dude

9:45

I It sucks. Our lives if

9:47

we supported sports gambling. Me on

9:49

a yard. So much money. Dude,

9:52

just signing up for kick or

9:54

something. Yeah, dude. Me on a

9:56

yard, you skiing behind it. Oh,

9:58

deep. And I think we could

10:01

get to run for president at

10:03

a certain point and win. They

10:05

have to let me try. Let's watch

10:07

this first hospital video. Horrible, horrible

10:10

sentence by the way. Okay,

10:12

so fake belly, a hundred

10:14

percent fake. It doesn't even

10:16

like sheen the way it's

10:18

supposed to. She's like covering

10:20

the crop line with one arm?

10:22

Yes, yes. They definitely told her.

10:24

Put your arm there. It's a squish

10:27

baby. Just flesh

10:29

squish baby, that's

10:32

a good idea That

10:34

is that's Jordan by

10:37

the way when he

10:39

like realizes

10:42

he forgot to buy

10:44

groceries There's no one to see.

10:46

That's the Dordash driver coming in

10:48

saying, I don't have anything. Why

10:50

do you order anything? Why am

10:52

I here? Stop making me come

10:55

over. You want to see me

10:57

go do orange steak on Biletto?

10:59

Oh, he's on the... Oh, he's

11:01

on the... Oh, he's on

11:03

the... Good trip she was

11:05

filming. He just

11:08

leaves quietly, she

11:10

never notices. She

11:12

just knows it. She

11:14

just knows it. She

11:17

just knows it. She

11:19

gets in because he's

11:21

on camera. Yeah,

11:23

me too. I thought

11:26

it wouldn't be really

11:28

long. True it all.

11:30

I let my god

11:33

down. What's he

11:35

doing? What's this?

11:37

Pull a rug?

11:39

Someone you know.

11:42

Oh, her belly's

11:44

like starting to

11:46

fall off. Oh,

11:48

careful. Oh, get old.

11:50

if he like harmonized with

11:52

her, right? Yeah, that and also...

11:55

How respectful of him to let

11:57

her finish that stand? This one's

11:59

having fun. And to have earlier come

12:01

in and set the camera up for

12:03

her, presumably with like a fake disguise

12:05

on as a doctor or something. So

12:07

he did like some sort of, um...

12:10

like metal gear solid-esque self section where

12:12

he walked in set up the camera

12:14

without her she like happened to look

12:16

over and be like when the day

12:18

bleeds and the knife fall and then

12:20

he's like sneaking by her when she

12:22

stops moving in the box yeah he's

12:24

like there's a box must just be

12:27

there or maybe perhaps she set up

12:29

her phone to record herself singing while

12:31

she was uh pregnant and

12:33

he just happened to sneak in

12:35

and surprise her one minute and

12:38

one second after she started singing.

12:40

So that they could monetize the

12:43

video. Right that makes sense. I

12:45

was thinking about I was thinking

12:47

about how genius this is from

12:50

a content strategy standpoint because you

12:52

only need one shot. You don't

12:54

need any script except for, oh

12:56

baby, I'm so surprised, you're home

12:58

or whatever. You need a green

13:00

shirt and camo pants. In a

13:02

fake baby bump and a hospital

13:05

set that you can probably rent

13:07

in Los Angeles for $30 an

13:09

hour. I have all of this

13:11

stuff at my house right now.

13:13

You live in. You live in

13:15

a photo realistic emergency room. Yeah.

13:17

You sleep in a cat scan.

13:19

Yeah. Yeah, you just go in

13:21

it. That is so funny. But

13:24

also... What do the

13:26

comments say? This is always

13:28

my question. Are

13:30

people in on it? So emotional?

13:33

So you didn't... You were singing facing... So

13:36

you didn't hear him closing the door? Well, obviously she was singing.

13:38

And he was stealth trained. The guy's a seal. I mean, I

13:40

don't want to tell you. Nice voice, good. Nice voice, good. The

13:42

man didn't reply, I missed you too. Yeah, we didn't. The man didn't

13:44

reply, I missed you too. Bro, it was funny. Instead, he just

13:46

like belly flopped on the baby. Yeah, I know. Tears, tears all over. Ooh,

13:48

it made me. It made me cry, it made me cry, it made me cry,

13:50

because, because it made me cry, because very cry, because very

13:52

cry, because very cry, because very cry, because, because,

13:55

because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because,

13:57

because, because, because, very, because, because, very, very,

13:59

very, very, very, comment reserved. Oh, that's

14:01

funny. You save your place in line.

14:03

So if you later want to have

14:06

a comment. That's great. All right,

14:08

that was awesome. I got to say

14:10

I have really been getting into smiling

14:12

while crying emoji for something

14:15

completely inappropriate. Like

14:17

what do you want for dinner

14:19

crying smiling emoji? No reply 20

14:22

minutes. Does this channel, oh this

14:24

channel is called at surprise coming

14:26

home. Is it just these videos?

14:28

Oh. Wait some of these

14:30

are that one of the far left

14:33

that that one looks like they paid

14:35

for as That's the same belly

14:37

Also why are they wearing their

14:39

army fatigues like at the hospital

14:41

to the because it's nothing the

14:44

way it right in no name tag

14:46

or anything No like wristbands to say

14:48

that you're like a guest of

14:50

the hospital. Jervis, as someone who

14:52

was not in the military, it

14:54

shows, okay? Okay. This is like

14:56

the most cynical thing in the

14:58

world where it's just these videos

15:00

with the same camera and sets

15:02

in a costume. This episode of

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16:58

What's that video of... That's what

17:00

I'm saying. I'm asking about... Let's

17:02

watch that one. Whoa, whoa, whoa,

17:05

whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, you're really

17:07

upset. Yeah, like, great. Special announcement?

17:09

What? Go ahead, we think, I'm

17:12

tired. Damn, seriously, have a good

17:14

attitude. What the fuck? What? This

17:16

is like the opposite of these

17:19

videos where everybody's bitter about it.

17:21

This is a I think you

17:23

should leave actor energy. This is

17:26

like Tim and Eric extra. Were

17:28

they breaking the fourth wall in

17:30

that? Dude, three hearts for this

17:33

one for sure. So he just

17:35

got home and he's already met.

17:37

He walked in, didn't say hello.

17:40

And she wasn't surprised. She wasn't

17:42

surprised. In fact, she was so

17:44

expecting that she set up a

17:47

makeshift blind box for her baby

17:49

surprise. Why does it need to

17:51

be? I mean, look, if there

17:54

is a big surprise and my

17:56

my partner's going to surprise me.

17:58

and they're specifically hiding their belly.

18:01

I think I can crack the

18:03

code on that one. Also, I

18:05

love that they, uh, they're using

18:08

the identical belly in my

18:10

mind because like, I doubt we will

18:12

ever see someone with a varied

18:14

skin tone that they couldn't possibly, like

18:16

even though it isn't a perfect match,

18:18

it's like, I can tell that. It kind

18:21

of looks like the tip of a thumb,

18:23

you know what I mean? It's got like

18:25

finger texture. Yeah, you have a featureless belly.

18:28

It looks like the box is wrapped

18:30

right so it looks so she's pretending

18:32

to hold a present but she's not

18:34

holding it so flush against her belly

18:37

that he couldn't see the that there's

18:39

no yeah this is a doesn't care he

18:41

also came in so upset like oh great

18:43

I'm just like on stage when you

18:46

just return for more you'd be upset

18:48

why's only flowers then he's all everyone's

18:50

cheating towards the camera like

18:53

it's like on stage when you're having

18:55

a conversation like this but But

18:57

Jordan, I haven't seen you in

18:59

years. This is why I never

19:02

came to your dinner parties. And

19:04

this is why our chest is

19:06

facing the crowd. What a

19:08

joker. He's a joker the jokes

19:10

around. But I'm the queen. He

19:13

left in town. All right, let's

19:15

see how this ends. Is she...

19:17

Is he gonna... Okay. A? Is

19:19

he gonna show... Continue to show

19:21

no emotion when she reveals that

19:24

she has a baby? bump and

19:26

also they haven't had any communication

19:28

whatsoever by the way this is

19:30

also the thing so they've not

19:32

communicated and she's kept

19:34

a surprise that he got her pregnant

19:37

and she very pregnant he said

19:39

he's been gone almost a year he

19:41

better be have gone just under nine

19:43

months remember when I left I don't

19:46

know 14 months ago yeah and it's

19:48

like wait a minute the math isn't

19:50

mapping on this actually a big maybe

19:52

it in for that right she's been

19:54

covering the box yeah And also, B,

19:57

he's going to completely change expression and

19:59

be really excited. about the new baby

20:01

or C she's never going to

20:03

reveal it in the videos not

20:05

going to result. The comments that

20:08

don't realize that this is fake

20:10

are giving hearts and like warm

20:12

feelings. Do you think maybe she

20:14

removes the books and a heart

20:16

is exposed? Or D everyone explodes.

20:18

Oh I love that. I like

20:20

the option. One of the shitty

20:23

P&G. Let's see what happens. This

20:25

does feel like um... You know

20:27

how people make fun of how

20:29

like Facebook anties get tricked by

20:31

like AI media? This is like

20:33

a step below that and still

20:36

like printing engagement. It's like when

20:38

you look at an AI image

20:40

and it's so incredibly glossy that

20:42

you can tell, this is so

20:44

clearly a fake location, or like

20:46

at least not a hospital. So

20:49

that when they try and do

20:51

hospital, I'm like, but I've been

20:53

to a hospital. I know what

20:55

they look like. This is... The

20:57

funny thing about the hospital is

20:59

like, okay, what are hospitals have?

21:02

Anatomy posters. Let's put them on

21:04

every single wall and door. Well,

21:06

so that when I'm inspecting a

21:08

try, I go like, where's the

21:10

skeleton again? Oh, the under the...

21:12

Okay, let's see, let's see, let's

21:15

see which option it was. Okay?

21:17

What is that? What is that?

21:19

What is that? Trick answer. He

21:21

doesn't know. It looks like a

21:23

medicine ball. He's like a medicine

21:25

ball. He's like this whole day.

21:27

He's like this whole day. It's

21:30

got, I think he's made a

21:32

memory foam. It has like a

21:34

knee in there. This is this

21:36

is me at physical therapy. Like

21:38

I'm just carrying the medicine ball.

21:40

Yeah, maybe she's, that's why she's

21:43

at the hospital. Pick the cushion

21:45

up. Isn't the lobby? This could

21:47

be in a... This is their

21:49

house, maybe? Well, I was like,

21:51

this is off to be like

21:53

a college conference room. You guys

21:56

have, you guys have seen my

21:58

house, you know how I have...

22:00

the couch in the direct center

22:02

of the room facing a corner

22:04

with nothing in it. Well it's

22:06

facing the camera that's always there.

22:09

Oh that's when I'm singing. Where

22:11

is he? I keep forgetting I

22:13

don't have a husband. Does this

22:15

guy ever stop being a jerk?

22:17

He's only got a few seconds

22:20

to not be me. I mean what

22:22

is that is the funniest answer. What

22:24

is that? What the hell? You've

22:26

been cheating? You've been cheating?

22:29

No. Not really, but... Why are they

22:31

liking it so much? Because it's cool.

22:33

Well, because it happened. It's starting

22:35

to look to me like bot

22:37

engagement. Yeah. Yeah. Can I ask

22:39

it? I have no words. It's not

22:41

a single word for user 97432.

22:44

Three sunglasses and modies. I would

22:46

not like my wife in the hospital.

22:48

I would not like her on a

22:50

plane. And if she's pregnant. Ain't

22:52

no thing. It's not mine. I've been

22:55

gone for more than nine months. Dude.

22:57

What is that is such a funny

22:59

way to go. What is that cheating?

23:01

Do you been like there's this like

23:03

oh, it's him again. Oh dude, he's got

23:05

a lot of wife. Okay. Can you

23:08

imagine? What is this like framing?

23:10

It's like a picture and picture.

23:12

It's like reminding you that you're

23:15

watching coming home. Because that's the

23:17

coming home is the it's the

23:19

it's the profile picture for this.

23:21

So there's more than one

23:24

account that's exclusively coming

23:26

home content. Wait a second, so this

23:28

guy is now on two separate accounts?

23:30

Wait, wait, wait. What is him again?

23:33

I want to watch the ones with

23:35

this guy, because I'm so curious about

23:37

if his acting varies at all.

23:39

Look, man, look, look. Okay, so this is

23:41

a stolen tip die. Oh, look.

23:44

Because why would this be reversed? This

23:46

is like so distracting. How does this

23:48

have so much engagement? I feel like

23:50

the algorithm would smite this down simply

23:53

for it being completely indiscernible. What's going

23:55

on? The frame type, like vignette, and

23:57

then the watermark, I guess, I don't know what

23:59

else. to call it. Yeah, the floating watermark

24:01

to scale. If I, if I, that's

24:03

his son. The soldiers are touching this

24:06

guy's hair or something. He's like trying

24:08

to lift his headphones. Because he

24:10

was singing question mark? Well, I

24:13

think they're trying to like get his

24:15

attention. And so he'll look back at

24:17

them and be like, oh, but he's

24:19

just talking in them without looking at

24:21

them and that will go on for

24:23

the full five minutes until he

24:25

finally turns around the end. And then

24:27

he turns around. By the way. By the

24:29

way. By the way. By the way, this

24:31

is hashtag, coming home, hashtag,

24:34

come back home, hashtag, shoulder's

24:36

coming home, hashtag, coming home,

24:38

soldier, hashtag, surprise, surprise. Hash

24:41

tag. Hash tag. Hash tag

24:43

army. Hash tag returns. Which

24:45

probably gives you a bunch

24:48

of Amazon issues. Hashtag Navy

24:50

life, hashtag USA army military.

24:52

Should I start tagging anything

24:54

I post with USA army

24:57

military? That's an official name.

24:59

Surprise, surprise, surprise, surprise, what

25:01

the fuck? I'll come, come clean by the

25:03

way. I, I tricked a lot of

25:05

people and I do apologize for

25:08

that. I'm trying to lie a little

25:10

less. There's a couple years

25:12

ago where I was telling

25:14

everyone that I used to be a Navy

25:16

SEAL. That, I did, I made that

25:18

up. No offense, but that's very

25:21

obvious. You've seen this? No.

25:23

But I've seen- You recorded

25:25

this? Uh, many similar ones.

25:27

Why have you seen many

25:29

similar ones? Because these- He

25:31

loves- Because I love these

25:33

content! No, I've just seen this

25:35

shit. And you all- It's always

25:37

five to ten minutes long. And

25:40

no matter how far you skip,

25:42

they're doing the same shit. He

25:44

will not look back until-

25:46

I'm sure just close.

25:48

I want to know.

25:50

I'm a little bit

25:52

mystified. Okay. I'm about

25:55

to say that you're

25:57

in space. So no,

25:59

so... No, no, this is all recorded

26:01

on one shotgun, like on the camera, 20

26:03

feet away. Is that like his son or

26:06

something? The music is mixed above the dialogue.

26:08

None of this is, how does this have

26:10

so many views? And likes. How is it

26:12

even watchable for someone? That's what

26:15

I mean. Scrolling and let it

26:17

look likable. I think getting someone to

26:19

stop because it is so abrasive. Maybe

26:21

it's people like getting stunned to the

26:23

point where their hands fly off the phone.

26:26

This is like a video that

26:28

like plays on your phone while

26:30

you like try to get it

26:32

from behind the couch. Yeah. And

26:34

you're like, God, I just want

26:36

this to stop. I can't get

26:38

to it. At that time, I

26:40

think I talked about it. Well,

26:42

just like, can you scan through

26:44

it like you were doing? Oh my

26:46

God. Is he will keep messing

26:48

with his headphones off again?

26:51

And he will keep not looking

26:53

back at him. Oh, that's

26:55

insane. Did he just wet

26:58

William? Yeah. He tries

27:00

turning his head around

27:03

like an owl. This guy,

27:05

put your belt on.

27:07

This guy's poor man's

27:10

lmoron Morris. They, oh

27:12

my god, turn around

27:14

there. Turn around? Wait,

27:17

what did he say to

27:19

make him a man? Sure

27:21

guy. And

27:24

then it'll cut off. Is this? Oh,

27:26

real? Is this one real? Yeah, this

27:29

one is real. So, so this is

27:31

like his friend or something,

27:33

and then he, they were somehow

27:36

boarded a plane, never going

27:38

to go behind him, never

27:40

used any of his peripheral

27:42

vision, was so locked in

27:45

on music, not even a

27:47

visual medium, that he, kids these

27:50

days, right? Everyone not living

27:52

in the phone. In their

27:54

head phone, or whatever. No headphones

27:57

in sight. I feel like if somebody

27:59

tries So what will you mean?

28:01

I turn around and look at

28:03

them. Look who's this item. Oh

28:05

my God. How did he not

28:07

notice? How did it do this

28:09

is like that count how many

28:12

times they bounce the basketball? Oh

28:14

my God. How does how does

28:16

this shit have so many? Hey

28:18

man, sometimes there's empty

28:21

seats on planes. They don't

28:23

have to convince. So for

28:25

the audio listeners. The dad, air quotes,

28:27

and his friend, air quotes from the

28:30

army air quotes, are harassing this

28:32

guy in front of him trying to

28:34

get his intention. And then right next

28:36

to the kid is a mannequin that's dressed

28:38

in disguise, I guess. Yeah, masked up.

28:41

But the tiny head, a huge mask.

28:43

That's like how they do disguises in

28:45

Marvel movies. So they just have a

28:47

baseball. When you just have a baseball

28:49

coat. When you just have a baseball coat. like that

28:51

there would be on a plane. It's like so obvious

28:54

that they're on one of those rental sets, but then

28:56

it's more obvious when they stand up and they have

28:58

so much freedom of movement. Oh yeah, and no one

29:00

anywhere. No one anywhere. Well, there's like I sit next

29:02

to them. No one's going to the bathroom for five

29:05

minutes. It's perfectly lit. By the way, I feel like,

29:07

oh, there's no windows by the way on this plane.

29:09

No one does huge gap in the side of the side of

29:11

the side of the side of the plane. It's the side of

29:13

the plane. It's a Boeing. It's a Boeing. It's a Boeing. It's

29:15

a Boeing. It's a Boeing. It's a Boeing. It's a Boeing. It's

29:17

a Boeing. It's a Boeing. It's a Boeing. Yeah, they're the

29:19

only people left on the plane after

29:21

everyone else was suctioned out of the...

29:23

What are the comments on this one? They're

29:26

just going to be hard eyes again? This isn't

29:28

real. There's a doll next to him.

29:30

Imagine if that was how we

29:32

found out. Had to fast forward

29:34

Hibo, they were taking forever. Who

29:37

else went bored when they saw

29:39

the doll? Dude, I just went

29:41

bored. I got so tired, dude.

29:43

I bet you won't. The... F-foot-foot-foot-foot-fut-fut-fut-fut-fut-fut-fut-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f

29:45

I didn't. I'm tired of being single. Same sister. What

29:48

the fuck? That was one of the most. Same

29:50

brother. Oh, wait, can we scroll up? There was

29:52

something. Can you like the one that's untied a

29:54

bit? He didn't know his dad's voice. Is it

29:56

his dad? He didn't know his dad's voice right

29:58

off. I'm guessing it's supposed to. be his

30:00

dad. That little that little kid

30:02

from the previous video grew

30:04

up so fast. Or they don't know

30:07

each other and that guy just fucking

30:09

loves the army. That guy that guy's

30:11

having a crazy day he flew back

30:13

home saw his son on the plane

30:15

by chance by chance somehow managed to

30:18

surprise him. Saw his girlfriend

30:20

accused her of being of cheating.

30:22

His son is taking his mannequin

30:24

boyfriend home. Oh what it's so

30:26

many reveals this guy. He had to

30:29

go somewhere where you can get

30:31

like a really good manic. That

30:33

would be, what a double whammy

30:35

to, if you're like a, kind

30:37

of like a trad, dad, and

30:39

you have to get the idea,

30:41

like, figure out the idea of

30:43

like, oh my son's gay, that's okay,

30:46

but oh that's like a big

30:48

surprise. And then you find

30:50

out it's also a mannequin.

30:52

You got to prioritize the

30:54

mannequin thing. Imagine they have

30:57

like a lost moment where like

30:59

they hit incredible turbulence and the

31:01

fucking manakin flies out of the

31:03

seat and just explodes into a

31:06

million pieces. And his dad's

31:08

flying out of the door. And then

31:10

his dad's like son it's gonna be

31:12

okay and he's like dad? I don't

31:14

have time right now. I have to

31:16

go get the shards of my boyfriend

31:18

back together again. His head fell off like

31:21

a lego figurine? Oh, look who it

31:23

is. This man is busy as hell. Oh,

31:25

all of these videos are reversed by the

31:27

way. His, um, his shirt says Davis,

31:29

but backwards, and I'm a genius because

31:31

I can read backwards, so. You turn

31:33

the phone, turn the monitor around? So

31:36

you could see transparently through it. I was trying to

31:38

wonder what was happening to her the part above her elbow

31:40

and then I realize it's the watermark again. She's jacked. We

31:42

should guess what this video is going to be. So he brought

31:44

that box in and I think there's a head in the box like

31:46

in seven. Yeah, it's just sticking a box. But not in the fun

31:48

way. I think it's supposed to be like a cake that's like I'm

31:50

home. What if it's a pregnant stomach I thought it was going to be

31:53

a cake, but this is going to be a cake, but this is

31:55

going to be a cake, but this is like a

31:57

corrugated, but this is like a corrugated cardboard, but this

31:59

is like a corrugated cardboard. box which is like

32:01

way more heavy duty than a normal

32:03

like it's a really good cake that

32:05

he found when he was and they

32:07

put no air holes in the

32:10

box what if it's a big

32:12

box of improvised explosive device

32:14

I found this on the road what if

32:16

it's just all the MREs he

32:18

didn't eat that's what my dad would

32:20

bring to me when he would

32:22

come back really it's cool tiny

32:25

weird food there's a child you're

32:27

like oh a tiny Tabasco have

32:29

you ever That's not food, but I

32:31

do like that. I do. That's why

32:33

we have the tiny Tabasco up there.

32:35

Have you seen that we're not gonna

32:38

do this right now because I'm trying

32:40

to stay on task doing my

32:43

best? But have you seen the

32:45

MRE like food review channel? No.

32:47

There's a guy who just eats

32:49

MREs and like reviews them. Okay,

32:51

I feel like that's up your alley.

32:53

This one's five minutes also,

32:56

so do we not see till the

32:58

very good? Oh, okay. Oh, he's leaving.

33:00

He's checking out the post. What? What

33:02

are you doing? He just did it.

33:04

Like an NBC returning to

33:07

its like primary location. His

33:09

path findings all mess up.

33:11

He's standing at attention. I saw

33:13

a soldier the other day trying to

33:16

open a door to his animation.

33:18

Wait, is this a partner?

33:20

Yeah, that's not her partner. Oh,

33:22

the bear is. No. Oh, that's so

33:24

sad. Oh, no. Why is she in

33:26

the hospital? She doesn't have

33:28

a fake pregnancy. She had

33:30

a baby. Oh. No, she had her appendix

33:32

out. Oh. Oh. She's fine. Why

33:34

does it let him in here?

33:36

Why did they just wait until

33:39

she got discharged? No, while

33:41

she's sick, she has to know

33:43

that her partner's dead. Nice of

33:45

them to do a habit. Is

33:47

that a bowling pin next

33:49

to the bear? Yeah, that's how he

33:52

died. Why would they give her

33:54

his army issue canteen? Why

33:56

would they give you his army

33:58

issue teddy bear? I don't

34:00

know who's making these videos. I

34:02

don't know who's making these videos

34:05

and I don't know why they're making

34:07

these videos. So what's the original?

34:09

But one thing that has not

34:11

changed and it's just pissing me

34:13

off is that the music is

34:15

mixed so god damn loud. And

34:17

they have no, none of their actors

34:20

are miked. So it's like, just

34:22

turn the shit up and

34:24

like. There's no excuse for

34:26

this. I think the reason

34:29

is probably, whatever the original

34:31

source of this is, might be

34:33

audible. Yeah. They steal it,

34:35

drag and drop MP3, onto

34:37

timeline, publish. Here, I've got

34:40

a, um, I've got a note

34:42

for you to read. I just

34:44

want you to go ahead and

34:46

read it out loud. Look at

34:48

this photograph! Every time I do

34:50

it makes me laugh. I found

34:52

him on a plane, he was a

34:54

big corpse. Turned a berry in a

34:57

box! And it was a mannequin, I

34:59

mean, I had to say something to

35:01

do a deep box. Jesus Christ.

35:03

Yeah! That sort of gets weird.

35:05

Man, it's like disrespectful to the

35:07

people who have died, like

35:09

in service, of our, you know,

35:12

stupid comedy. Well, yeah, it's

35:14

just like two-chain said, rest and

35:16

piece of the soldiers that died

35:18

in the service, I'd dive in

35:20

her cervix or cervix. It's

35:23

a lot like that. Go ahead. Go ahead.

35:25

I just can't, every time you say that, or

35:27

every time someone says that, I think of

35:29

that being a real line and a real

35:31

two-chain song. That is so funny. I mean, it

35:34

is, yeah, it's a fucking stupid system that

35:36

ruins lives. And it's, but more often than

35:38

other people joining, joining from like. Yeah, it's like,

35:40

I have the utmost empathy for the people

35:42

who are like, at 18 years old, get,

35:44

like, have the army come to their career

35:46

fair, and they don't feel like they have

35:48

prospects in life, and so they sign up

35:50

for something, not knowing fully what they're signing

35:52

up for. Do you want direction, and then

35:55

potentially retirement for the rest of your life

35:57

after like, or like an ability to pay

35:59

for college? to the GI Bill or something. That

36:01

was my dad signed up

36:03

because he got his high school

36:05

girlfriend pregnant, my mom, and

36:08

wanted to go to

36:10

college. So as far as I can

36:12

hear from the thing, it

36:15

sounds like she's reading

36:18

a letter that just says, like, long time

36:20

no see. It's me. I'm still like,

36:22

I miss you. Can't wait to see you

36:24

love being alive. Yeah. Oh, I died

36:26

in the letter. Ouchie. Ouch, what was that?

36:28

I wonder if it truly is just

36:30

a five minute video of her grieving

36:32

her lost partner, or if it's a

36:35

fake out and then he'll appear at

36:37

the end and be like, just kidding. Wait,

36:39

that would be good. That would

36:41

be so cool. Whatever it's like. I'm

36:43

leaving here in a few

36:45

hours. I can't wait.

36:48

This is how you remind

36:50

me of what I really

36:52

am. I'm

36:59

waiting for

37:02

you for a

37:04

thousand years. I

37:07

owe you a thousand years. Well, she's

37:09

reading like an animal crossing character. How the

37:11

hell am I supposed to know what he's

37:13

doing? Oh, there was one part that was

37:15

really funny, and then she grew. Oh, no,

37:17

she's crying now. No, she's

37:19

happy and she's crying. It's like, did

37:21

you hear the one about the cow with no

37:23

head? Yeah,

37:25

it was like, I heard the interrupting cow,

37:27

and then it's written boo. She's like,

37:29

no, I didn't. Oh, well done. He got

37:32

me, got my ass. It's a script,

37:34

including her lines. Oh, no, now she's really

37:36

crying. Oh, no. What

37:38

does it say when she does that? This

37:41

bear is full of my ashes. We'll never know

37:43

because the music's too loud. The

37:45

watermark bouncing around is really funny. Oh,

37:47

it's going to hit you. Look

37:49

out. Oh, it's

37:51

stupid. It's covering the letter. What is she

37:53

saying? Oh, my gosh, I can't go, go,

37:55

go. Why is she reading it

37:58

aloud? For the benefit of this guy.

38:00

Yeah, the soldier wants to hear.

38:02

Well, okay. Well, here's the

38:04

thing. If this is a

38:07

letter about him dying, did

38:09

he write? Like, did he

38:11

die of a disease? So

38:14

he had time to write a

38:16

letter or did he die in?

38:18

No, I think this is just

38:20

a, I miss you letter. All right,

38:23

I'm curious now. That

38:25

bears staring at her another.

38:28

Does the letter say if

38:30

you're reading this like I'm

38:32

dead or something? Yeah. I'm

38:34

not even joking. I'm like.

38:37

The music is louder. The

38:39

music is louder. Oh, I

38:41

wish I could read that.

38:43

Can't wear that's. Don't mala.

38:45

Don't take that off right now.

38:47

Oh, no, the bear has an

38:50

army. That needs to straight

38:52

up, build a bear, by the

38:54

way. Yeah. It's just like. So

38:56

funny, because like, this is more

38:59

disrespectful to the troops

39:01

than anything. Yes. Yeah, if

39:04

you're committed to like the the

39:06

troops as a wait, you're not,

39:08

don't, what? Oh, is that a ring?

39:10

Oh, he was gonna propose a

39:13

boxed baby. I was gonna say

39:15

like, why are, wait, there's no,

39:17

there's a ring in the

39:19

canteen. Oh, he was doing a little

39:21

trick. Yeah, what if he's like,

39:23

I'm not really dead. Well, also,

39:26

she's doing an ARG. When they

39:28

give you those flags, when your,

39:31

like, you know, military

39:33

loved one dies, it's after,

39:35

like, it's not like he

39:37

had that flag on him. He

39:39

didn't hide a ring box

39:42

in that flag. Hey, sending

39:44

you my bulletproof flag, I

39:46

tend to wear. Oh, no!

39:48

I'm, I'm reeling at the

39:50

fact. Imagine going to build

39:52

a bear. and you make this bear

39:54

and you put a little military shirt on it

39:56

and the person stuffing your bear is like, oh,

39:59

is this for like... Did you a family

40:01

in the middle? They're like, no,

40:03

we're making a ticket about

40:05

pretending a military family member

40:07

died. There's nothing quite like a

40:09

black dude profile pick with the

40:11

name white king and then the

40:14

American. America. Oh, and then Africa, I

40:16

believe. Second crime. Oh, yeah,

40:18

Africa. The world where it's

40:20

rotated to Africa because there's

40:22

different world emogies. Oh my god, wait,

40:24

can you scroll? No, I'm pretty

40:27

sure I have that exact

40:29

bill. Isn't that weird? That's

40:31

Gerard World and then Sleezy World

40:33

and then White King with the

40:35

World Amoji? Hmm. I'm starting to

40:37

think these are bots. Scratching my

40:40

chin. So maybe these aren't

40:42

popular and no one is

40:44

actually watching them except for us.

40:46

So I don't, I'm not, I don't

40:48

particularly care about like

40:50

this. Which is just predicated

40:53

on... manipulating someone

40:56

and you know making

40:58

fake content for purely

41:00

cynical reasons my

41:03

lizard brain finds

41:05

it really gross but how

41:07

do we feel is that

41:09

reasonable or does it not

41:11

really matter I mean I could

41:14

see some like you know older

41:16

person who has like a

41:19

child in the military being

41:21

like Oh, I love this content. Like,

41:23

you know. I think the issue

41:25

that I have with stolen

41:27

valor is similar to, not

41:29

exactly the same, but like

41:31

similar to the issue I have with

41:34

like prank videos where you're

41:36

like taking the good, you're

41:38

exploiting the goodwill of others.

41:40

Yeah. And giving someone a

41:43

reason not to extend that

41:45

goodwill. is like shitty because it like

41:47

makes the world it makes the world a

41:50

more callous place in my in my view.

41:52

I guess as far as like the patriotism

41:54

of Stone and Valor, I don't care, but

41:56

as far as the like trivialization that's kind

41:58

of because like people you might catch

42:00

somebody watching one of these and thinking

42:03

like, yeah, my family never like didn't

42:05

come home. And then it takes on

42:07

this sinister flavor of like, oh, it

42:10

feels weird, posting something like that with

42:12

the number of views they're gonna guaranteed,

42:14

right? That absolutely, somebody watching

42:16

this, that has had that experience.

42:18

That's where for me it starts

42:20

to, it tickles a yuck. It's a

42:23

young, but I couldn't really explain why.

42:25

I don't know who this is a

42:27

young for in reality, because I'm not

42:29

yet convinced that this isn't just entirely

42:31

botted yet. It does seem extra

42:33

botted. But it does feel like it

42:36

would be hard for Tikkk not

42:38

to, like, I'm like, how much

42:40

truly exclusively botted content exists on

42:42

Tiktok. I don't know. I feel like they'd

42:45

have to, they would lose so much money.

42:47

Not being good at solving that

42:49

problem. So you would expect like

42:51

they're not incentivized to have bots

42:54

similar to how YouTube isn't incentivized

42:56

to have bots because Because that's money out

42:58

of hair pocket. So I'm like if you

43:00

just follow the dollar like they were incentivized

43:03

to fix this. Yeah, this is kind of

43:05

I mean, this is Twitter's biggest biggest issue

43:07

right now is there is dead internet. So

43:10

they I mean, they also cannot monetize

43:12

it because they keep promoting like, Nazi,

43:14

but heads a hundred people. I'm

43:17

thinking about the kind of

43:19

feel-good content that like boomers

43:21

send each other on Facebook. Like

43:24

the hyper-real AI image of

43:26

like, for example, the LA

43:28

fires. There was like tons

43:30

of AI generated images of

43:32

firefighters saving people from burning

43:34

buildings and shit. It's just

43:37

like, what the fuck are you

43:39

doing? Well, and Jarvis and I

43:41

have made videos about... people

43:43

like it's this same kind

43:45

of thing where people are

43:48

making these like fake

43:50

videos where an abused

43:53

woman gets saved by

43:55

a flight attendant right

43:57

and it's it's like a

44:00

pretty common thing it's also fucked up

44:02

because so many people think it's real

44:04

yeah you know and that's where it

44:06

does kind of people who do bomb

44:09

prank oh like the worst pranks I

44:11

remember like at the peak of linole

44:13

what's going on invaders today we're

44:15

invading somebody's privacy he was a

44:17

prank that the itiest one of

44:19

all of those was always the

44:21

like go into the hood right Because

44:23

it's dog whistling to like, I'll go

44:26

another hood because it's so scary. Right.

44:28

But we're not going to say it

44:30

out loud. I find that a lot

44:32

of the, these ones explicitly, at least

44:35

not the multi board so far, this

44:37

kind of fake content, because

44:39

it exists to engage, it's kind

44:41

of an arms race and always leads

44:43

to coming home to my black wife.

44:46

Oh, she's cheating on me blackly. Like

44:48

it's, it always ends up in

44:50

the most offensive, like. Oh, because you

44:52

guys had to do better than the one that

44:54

was normalish. Yeah, it's like, um, it's like, uh,

44:56

escalating, but like, without, it's just escalating for the

44:59

sake of it. With no moral, like interest. Yeah.

45:01

It's just like, turn it, turn it, turn it up. Turn

45:03

it up. Turn the song up. On the swings? I go

45:05

to see on the swings. I wonder if it's longer than

45:07

a minute. Oh, what the hell he's like, he's like, like

45:09

army rolling. He's like army rolling. He's like, like, like, like,

45:11

like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like,

45:14

like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like,

45:16

like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like,

45:18

like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like,

45:20

like, like, like, Why is this

45:22

man in scrubs pushing her? It

45:24

is of the hospital. Oh my

45:26

god, there it is. Yeah, he's

45:29

trying to deliver the baby. He

45:31

has to tactically like invade

45:33

the hospital. This is literally

45:35

me playing medical silence.

45:38

That's so funny. Dude, that's

45:40

crazy. Army has to be

45:42

surprised by pregnant wife. Well,

45:44

because here's the thing. I don't

45:47

think people. Who is making these

45:49

is my question. Did he not

45:51

know his wife was pregnant? Oh, maybe he's surprised

45:53

and then it's going to be, he's going to be

45:55

like, you cheat, he's going to say cheat or cheater,

45:57

pumpkin eater, or whatever. Well, that is a classic end

45:59

to. a prank video.

46:01

The misdirection. Maybe

46:04

Scrubs guy is her new, is

46:06

her baby daddy. Wouldn't

46:08

that be romantic? Is

46:11

your giving birth and then

46:13

you fall in love with the

46:15

OBGYN? Oh. Oh my God.

46:17

Again, we can't play the,

46:19

it's see you again now

46:21

by Charlie Puth and Whiz

46:24

Galifa. He pushes her so

46:26

hard. She flies out. The baby

46:28

flies out. That's

46:31

why they have swings at

46:33

a hospital. Yeah, to help move.

46:35

It's a momentum thing.

46:38

That's what people forget. But

46:40

yeah, he's gonna get on

46:42

the swing. And then she's

46:44

gonna be like, well, if he's

46:47

pushing me, who's driving the

46:49

car? Nope, didn't really occur

46:51

yet. That is pretty funny.

46:54

Wait. She's gonna wait a

46:56

minute. If you're, then who's

46:58

pushing me? emotional response that

47:01

these people aren't even trying to act there's

47:03

a like I'm gonna slowly walk up to

47:05

you so as not to dislodge my fake

47:07

pregnant belly there's not there's like a nuance

47:10

to this kind of performance right where like

47:12

even the ones where they get home and

47:14

then the dog get goes crazy the dog

47:16

always has a moment where it's like adjusting

47:18

to the smell and stuff and then

47:20

goes crazy yeah this is almost like

47:22

they're forgetting to do that part yeah

47:24

where it's like when people are really

47:26

surprised by stuff like it They're like,

47:29

what, am I looking at? Is

47:31

this alkalations happening? Like, is this

47:33

dream? Like, what's going on? It

47:35

said, they're just like, yo, my

47:37

husband, what's up? What's up? All

47:40

right, are the comments just gonna

47:42

be, like, heart eye emojies again?

47:44

That's a lot like two years? So

47:46

who's the, wait, who's gone for

47:48

two years? We couldn't hear that.

47:50

You see the reason why

47:52

I buy data instead of

47:54

cars? Wait, can pregnant women

47:57

have hugs? No hugs for

47:59

pregnant ladies. See the reason why

48:01

I buy data instead of cars.

48:03

Check that one reply. Please let

48:05

me know it helps. That's Mark

48:08

Zuckerberg. Oh, come on. Oh, it

48:10

is funny. Yeah, laughing. It's romantic.

48:13

Wow. Shit. Fuck, man. That's fucking

48:15

sick. Nice. The background music

48:17

is much. Yeah, it is much actually.

48:19

I would, I would send someone else

48:21

around her behind me. Nice one. That's

48:24

a big comment. I would use my

48:26

spiny senses. I would simply use my

48:28

training. I would feel the disturbance in

48:30

the air. I like John Wick would

48:32

have established the exits. Why every man

48:34

ready to surprise his woman? Yeah, you

48:37

both surprise women all the time. That

48:39

sounds incredibly sinister. That sounds really quite

48:41

scary. This is a great point. Why

48:43

do I have to miss Paul Walker

48:46

every time I listen to this music?

48:48

Like that song, I do not feel

48:50

like it should be used in other

48:52

contexts. It's the Paul Walker song. It

48:54

is to me, yeah. These are really

48:56

bad. Actually all of these are places

48:59

to do domestic terrorism. It's all

49:01

just like attacking her here. Okay.

49:03

His girlfriend doesn't know he's alive.

49:05

Jesus Christ. Wait, that's different

49:07

than... How does that happen?

49:10

This is so messed up.

49:12

It's really messed up. I

49:14

guess if you're not looking

49:16

at someone, you don't

49:18

know their life. No, no,

49:20

no. I think it's like,

49:22

maybe he's missing an action.

49:24

Oh my God, you'll never

49:26

guess the song. Don't, don't

49:29

scroll down, don't scroll

49:31

down, don't scroll down.

49:33

Okay, let's hear. You'll never,

49:36

it's close. All right. Is

49:38

it I died down on me? Oh no

49:40

what? Wait, what was he? In

49:42

the trunk? He is about

49:44

to propose to her. He

49:46

just follows her around in

49:48

the park. Can't be doing

49:50

that man. Jacob turned the

49:53

music off because we can't.

49:55

My heart will go on,

49:57

the theme song of Titanic.

50:00

Where is she going? Why is

50:02

he following her? Also, the person

50:04

who's going faster than them with

50:06

the camera is probably making sound.

50:08

Yeah. Well, he's probably going like,

50:10

he's probably saying these words out

50:12

loud. Yeah. You've known each other

50:14

since it's a middle school. Oh,

50:16

wait, does it go over a

50:18

minute, by any chance? She was

50:20

heartbroken. Yeah, actually three minutes. She

50:22

was heartbroken when he was deployed

50:24

overseas. He's giving up. Distance

50:27

never stood a chance at breaking

50:29

her bon. I mean, this looks

50:31

like a guy who has, is

50:33

a double amputee at the knee.

50:35

And it doesn't look fake. May

50:37

or may not have been in

50:39

the army, but it's like, Craig's,

50:42

oh my God. It's so long.

50:44

Before his deployment, he was a

50:46

star baseball player. Huh? In fact,

50:48

the first time they met was

50:50

on a baseball field. Okay, get

50:52

into the ball. She was the

50:54

ball. Unless they're on a baseball

50:56

field. Now, why do you? Oh,

50:59

it's weird. He's in the parasocial

51:01

watch? How long are you going

51:03

to for? I hope he knows

51:05

her. After high school, he's going

51:07

to play baseball in college. Okay.

51:09

And now he just follows her

51:11

on. Go to that. Now he's

51:13

her number one fan and stock

51:16

her. Something tragic happened. He followed

51:18

a woman. Just just shout to

51:20

her. Right, see, it's always right

51:22

before they come back. Hey man,

51:24

where's she going? He was sent

51:26

on. He's a baseball field. He's

51:28

a baseball field. Why is she

51:31

just wandering to an empty baseball

51:33

field by herself? She's looking for

51:35

another baseball player to be a

51:37

fan of. What a prank. The

51:39

prank is that they told her

51:41

he was dead. Why would they

51:43

do that? She's been spending time

51:45

lately at his baseball field. Is

51:48

this mirrored vignette thing to get

51:50

past the same one where they

51:52

first met in high school? Because

51:54

I see this when they show

51:56

clips of a movie. on YouTube

51:58

for a review sometimes. Now he's

52:00

about to fulfill his promise to

52:02

her. He's about to play baseball.

52:05

Oh my god, he's gonna hit

52:07

her in the head with a

52:09

baseball? Right onto her finger? Why

52:11

did she? Why did she? Okay.

52:13

Oh, go, careful. I don't know

52:15

if I'd think it was him

52:17

from that far away. Yeah. and

52:20

the lady that helps. I'll give

52:22

her to her credit. She had

52:24

the best, like, reaction to seeing

52:26

him out of any of the

52:28

ones. But the thing is about

52:30

this one is that I need

52:32

more of the backstory on this

52:34

video. Hashag USA army military. See,

52:37

they got out of the same

52:39

car and she doesn't know. This

52:41

one really starts to creep me

52:43

out because it's like, again, is

52:45

it doing real damage? But at

52:47

the same time it feels really

52:49

fucking weird. This is impossible that

52:52

she doesn't know if he is

52:54

alive or not, please. Their response

52:56

is too hard. This I don't

52:58

understand, just the opening. She gets

53:00

out of the car. And so

53:02

does he? So is he hiding

53:04

behind her? He's hiding in the

53:06

trunk. Yeah. Sounds like she's not

53:09

a good driver. And he closed

53:11

the trunk. Like none of it

53:13

makes sense. He's just doing a

53:15

little hop into the chair. And

53:17

there also, it's always, these videos

53:19

always involve someone who has no

53:21

situational awareness. Like. How would you

53:23

not notice someone standing behind you,

53:26

your car magically shutting its trunk

53:28

by itself? Well, and presumably whoever's

53:30

holding the camera was also in

53:32

the same car. Or at least

53:34

in a parking lot and holding

53:36

a camera phone up, I would

53:38

probably look at it. Casting a

53:41

shadow so far in front of

53:43

himself that like it could even,

53:45

she could even see it on

53:47

the ground possibly. Actually, one thing

53:49

I will give credit for this

53:51

one is like, so those ones

53:53

that are very clearly on a

53:55

set and very clearly like produced.

53:58

Why put that much work into

54:00

something that will look the most

54:02

authentic with us? little effort as

54:04

possible. Like, once you do it

54:06

on a set with a tripod,

54:08

it looks fake. Handheld outdoors, handheld

54:10

at home. And this one has

54:12

an American license plate on the

54:15

car. So I was like, okay.

54:17

Okay. It is Nevada. Oh, I

54:19

don't know. Maybe that, maybe, I

54:21

want to do some Googling. I

54:23

just want to see, like, I

54:25

feel like this is the type

54:27

of thing that would get a

54:30

feel good local news story if

54:32

it were. Yeah, good point. Like

54:34

a thing that happened. Good morning,

54:36

America. An interesting thing happened downtown

54:38

this weekend. Yeah. It is fake

54:40

and we made it up. But

54:42

that's the thing. It's like I

54:44

don't want to cast doubt on

54:47

something like this because it's so,

54:49

um... Is it scary run? But

54:51

I also think that this video

54:53

is real. There's too many elements

54:55

of it. Do you mean bizarre?

54:57

Bazaar. Yeah. On this particular... I

54:59

could see them stealing content and

55:02

reposting it. Yeah, well that almost

55:04

definitely seems like it's what it's

55:06

doing. But, but it's kind of

55:08

just detecting. Like I think it

55:10

wants unaware viewers to think that's

55:12

what they're doing. Oh, this is

55:14

just an aggregate. They collect all

55:16

of the coming home stories. I

55:19

think they do post some real

55:21

ones. Right. Look, look at the

55:23

second one. It's the unreversed version.

55:25

Whoa, it's the unreversed one. Still

55:27

annoying. Look, look, look. I told

55:29

you not to touch my, and

55:31

I'm not gonna look at you

55:33

when I speak. Yeah. Does it

55:36

also have music over it? Oh,

55:38

that's a great question. Mm-mm, mm-mm,

55:40

mm-mm. Look, look, look. I told

55:42

you not to touch not your

55:44

phone. Yeah, look at that guy.

55:46

Yeah, it's so much like it.

55:48

It's still so hard to hear

55:51

them. Yeah. So maybe, wait, this

55:53

one is no problem. Can we

55:55

look at the, though, that one

55:57

that, yeah, no, the other one?

55:59

The description is welcome home, surprise

56:01

me. my family. Okay this looks

56:03

real. Dude look that's the the

56:05

that is what I'm talking about

56:08

the freeze that is that's what

56:10

human beings do because you're like

56:12

it's not an emotion you feel

56:14

it's like new it's you when

56:16

you touch like something really really

56:18

hot it's cold for a second

56:20

it's like your body like doesn't

56:22

know how to process that degree

56:25

it's like that you got like

56:27

oh it's recorded like Have

56:29

their camera in front of the

56:32

screen. Throwing the hat down, yeah.

56:34

Like that's a real reaction, I

56:36

believe. It helps that it's also

56:38

just like people that look like

56:40

they would know each other as

56:42

opposed to a 50 year old

56:44

man and a 20 year old

56:46

woman wearing like a top instead

56:48

of a pregnant something. Yeah, some

56:50

of these are definitely real for

56:52

real for real. Oh, not that

56:54

one. What? You can just tell.

56:56

Yeah, wait, how could you tell?

56:58

Yeah, something about this. Yeah, something

57:00

about this. Yeah, something about this.

57:02

Yeah, I think that's a soldier

57:04

created like a It looks shit.

57:06

It's like looks like a zombie

57:08

On the wean and it's real.

57:10

Is he being fooled? Why does

57:12

it have to be dressed in?

57:15

I mean, on the shoulder that

57:17

is on all of these army

57:19

suits. Also another couch in the

57:21

middle of the room. Soldier wet

57:23

willies his wife heart warming. Heart

57:25

warming. Yo, can we play the

57:27

sound on this? Oh, there's a

57:29

lot of him Waiting for a

57:31

minute to elapse. Never mind. Turn

57:33

sound off. Turn the sound off.

57:35

It's just a song. Never mind?

57:37

Would you even get a dummy

57:39

like that? Looks like the cryptkeeper.

57:41

Yeah, why did you dress it

57:43

like that? He does think it's

57:45

a real dude. What the hell?

57:47

Maybe. Oh, oh my god. I'm

57:49

sorry I said that word. Panties?

57:51

I should have said underpants. Is

57:53

panties bad? How do I feel

57:55

about that? It's, um... It's, um...

57:57

It's one of those words that

58:00

I think people don't like to

58:02

hear. Hmm. Oh. It says its

58:04

head off. Oh. Wait, so she

58:06

was pranking him at the time?

58:08

The third comment, hey my friend,

58:10

there's a lot of us women's

58:12

out there who dedicated themselves to

58:14

just one man. I'm one of

58:16

that woman. We don't play around.

58:18

We don't play around. That's actually

58:20

a really nice sentiment. You can

58:22

tell all the ones, again, you

58:24

can tell all the ones that

58:26

are authentic, because they're kind of

58:28

poorly, not poorly done, but you

58:30

know, there's a human element to

58:32

it. There's not a key light.

58:34

There's not a key light. There's

58:36

not a mannequin. Yeah, there's four

58:38

walls. They're not on a set.

58:40

They don't open a door. If

58:42

you look behind the door, there's

58:45

like nothing there. Yeah, they don't

58:47

enter from the street. Yeah, I'm

58:49

home. You don't even sign for

58:51

that. Who is that? Oh, he's

58:53

home. I guess I want to...

58:55

Oh, I feel weird about even...

58:57

Classic childbirth one in that set

58:59

again with skeletons all over the

59:01

walls. Right about, yeah, boy. Oh,

59:03

yeah. And guess what? They've covered

59:05

her belly. There it goes. Because

59:07

it's the one that's not skin

59:09

accurate. Hmm. Same, same scrubs though.

59:11

She's not even singing, she just

59:13

has a camera. By the way,

59:15

isn't that, wasn't that the husband

59:17

of the woman who was singing?

59:19

Yeah, I think so. He just

59:21

had his jacket off and his

59:23

hat off. And she was the

59:25

lady that read the letter. Who

59:27

was doing this? So I even

59:30

feel weird about them. um gathering

59:32

real ones and reposting them for

59:34

views that feels yeah that's a

59:36

real life absolutely that's just like

59:38

feel like it started off probably

59:40

posting real ones and then they

59:42

were like we need more yeah

59:44

not enough soldiers are coming home

59:46

right now that is what it

59:48

seems like so these a lot

59:50

of these that was the saddest

59:52

sentence that not enough soldiers are

59:54

coming home okay have we watched

59:56

enough of these yes we really

59:58

got swept away and That was

1:00:00

I was gonna say fun, but

1:00:02

it wasn't it was more upsetting

1:00:05

but it did teach us a

1:00:07

lot about what people are willing

1:00:09

to stoop to for content,

1:00:11

which is a thing that We've

1:00:13

talked about a lot and so

1:00:15

we should be surprised at this

1:00:17

point and they've done worse certainly

1:00:19

But it is interesting seeing

1:00:22

the like endless loop of what are

1:00:24

we? Why are we even here? Is

1:00:26

this just it's just noise to be

1:00:28

louder than other noise? to distract

1:00:31

you from the arms of an angel

1:00:33

playing at 9,000% volume. I don't know,

1:00:35

sometimes I am like, what is the

1:00:38

day-to-day life of someone whose algorithm is

1:00:40

bringing them stuff like that pretty aggressively?

1:00:42

Like, I guess kind of a normal

1:00:44

algorithm is not that weird. But like,

1:00:46

if you've ever seen that video of

1:00:49

someone showing their grandma footage from

1:00:51

GTA, and it's in like the

1:00:53

cinematic mode and it's just them

1:00:55

plowing through pedestrians, she's like, oh!

1:00:57

No, no, the world must be.

1:00:59

Oh my God. Terrifying. Yeah, that's

1:01:01

the thing. And I can't blame

1:01:03

that grandma. No, but I can

1:01:05

blame the makers of these videos.

1:01:08

Don't do it. Stop. Get some

1:01:10

help. Stop it. Stop it. All

1:01:12

right, so we, you, Anastasia, Peeps,

1:01:14

all went to a professional wrestling

1:01:16

show. Yep. And we're going to

1:01:19

hear all about that over on

1:01:21

Sad Boy's nights. We're also going

1:01:23

to talk about some

1:01:25

other shit. Some other

1:01:27

bullshit that's going to

1:01:29

be discussed. But I'll say,

1:01:32

there was a certain element

1:01:34

to this show that I think

1:01:36

better. Oh. Better than

1:01:38

that. Wind. Water. Water.

1:01:40

Part. Part. Something that...

1:01:42

Something that... Wait, what are

1:01:44

you getting? Am I to look right

1:01:47

now? Oh my... Oh, right! The Costco

1:01:49

you all have this? What I

1:01:51

get to bring the boom? Wait,

1:01:53

okay, so the thing about the show

1:01:56

that they went to was the

1:01:58

Costco guys were there I will

1:02:00

be hearing about the

1:02:02

boom that was brought.

1:02:04

Oh yeah. And I

1:02:06

will be bringing a

1:02:08

little bit of boom

1:02:10

myself over on Sad

1:02:12

Boy's Night at Patriot.com/Sad

1:02:14

Boy's. But with all

1:02:16

that being said, we

1:02:18

end every episode of

1:02:20

Sad Boy's with a

1:02:22

particular phrase. We boom

1:02:24

you. And we boom

1:02:26

boom. Boom. This is

1:02:28

a restaurant that's both

1:02:30

at the Universal City

1:02:32

Walk here and the

1:02:34

one in Orlando. And

1:02:36

there is lore behind

1:02:38

it. It's like when

1:02:40

you go inside, it's

1:02:42

this like massive steampunk

1:02:44

looking building. Oh my

1:02:47

god. And so this

1:02:49

woman, she is Dr.

1:02:51

Panella P. Tibo, Tinker,

1:02:53

Toothsome. And this is

1:02:55

her. Let's fucking go.

1:02:57

This is her robot

1:02:59

companion, Jock. I'm pretty

1:03:01

sure they're fucking. Not

1:03:03

right now.