What a Goblin Wants

What a Goblin Wants

Released Sunday, 27th April 2025
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What a Goblin Wants

What a Goblin Wants

What a Goblin Wants

What a Goblin Wants

Sunday, 27th April 2025
Good episode? Give it some love!
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0:00

you have high standards and fancy all

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the fancy things like a Dior

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saddle bag or that diamond tennis bracelet,

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you go to eBay. There you'll

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find new loves that will never disappoint.

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Expertly authenticated, whether it's that vintage

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pearl necklace or brand new ruby earrings,

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a Prada Cross body bag or

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classic watches like that Rolex oyster or

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that Cartier tank. On eBay, there

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are no limits to your high standards.

0:23

Yeah. eBay. The place for new,

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pre -loved, vintage, and rare fashion. eBay.

0:28

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1:05

Set Entertainment presents

1:07

Slay, created by

1:09

Scott Sigler. This

1:12

story is intended for mature

1:14

audiences only. Listener

1:16

discretion is advised. Hello

1:21

my friend, I hope you are doing

1:23

well. As for me, when this episode

1:25

drops, I am still working on Cryptbook

1:27

2's second draft. The pesky thing will

1:29

just not give up the ghost. And

1:31

when you're talking about the PV James

1:33

Keeling, the ship in the crypt, the

1:35

ghost can mean many things. And when

1:37

this episode drops, the NFL draft just

1:39

finished up. I got to watch the

1:41

first round, which was super fun. But

1:44

for the rest of the rounds, I

1:46

was writing, writing and

1:48

writing some more as

1:50

a huge football fan. It sucks to be

1:52

this busy. I don't have time to watch

1:54

or time for weekends or what have you.

1:57

Stuff's got to get done though. How about

1:59

you? Are you also burning the midnight oil?

2:01

If you like, leave a comment on the

2:03

slay episode 93 post at scotsagler.com. Let

2:05

me know what you're up to in the

2:07

comments. Maybe I can get back to

2:09

you. Let's get slay crack a lacking.

2:11

I will get you caught up in the

2:13

story so far. Then we're all going to

2:15

go sneak off to a sleazy motel. Oh,

2:18

yeah. Previously

2:25

on. Slay. Dante

2:28

Ogunov made a deal with Lincoln, helped

2:31

Dante blackmail Kalista into giving up her

2:33

turf, and Link gets the ability

2:35

to get his son, Sam, off the

2:37

shelf. All this while

2:39

Lincoln tries to hide his affair

2:42

with Ariela, while Billy tries to

2:44

hide the fact he's training with

2:46

Morgan Stone in Cortis, and Magna trying

2:48

to hide her ever -growing drinking problem.

2:51

If the Old Stone Church gang can't trust

2:53

each other, who can they trust?

2:56

So what is this blackmail material

2:58

that could set Sam free? Dante

3:01

has not yet told anyone

3:03

but Cantrell, Lincoln's friend

3:05

and former lawyer. When

3:07

Lincoln finds out what must be done, will

3:10

he go through with it? Find

3:13

out next on Slay

3:15

Episode 93. Night

3:28

flying was the best

3:30

flying. None of those stupid

3:32

pigeons. Well, sometimes

3:35

pigeons, the ones that

3:37

gobbled down stray bits of gobbers or

3:39

meth, didn't know if it was night

3:41

or day. Shitbird

3:43

did keep an eye out for owls, though. Owls

3:47

are assholes. Night

3:49

time assholes. Sometimes

3:51

they lived in cities. Not

3:53

often, but out here.

3:55

in salt hollow in the

3:57

marshlands where there were actual

4:00

trees, might

4:02

find asshole owls out here. Shidbird's

4:06

size meant asshole owls rarely

4:08

tried their luck, but

4:10

you never knew, because owls

4:13

were assholes. Crattle

4:16

bats, though, gotta watch out

4:18

for them, and gargoyles,

4:20

and tangoo, and

4:22

mononagles that couldn't find a person to

4:24

feast on. Shitbird

4:27

saw or sensed none of the

4:29

above. He probably had more

4:31

to fear from drunk men in pickup trucks

4:33

with gun racks who wanted to take a

4:35

shot at anything that moved. That

4:38

didn't happen in the city, but

4:40

out here, plenty of

4:42

ball cap wearing, tooth missing,

4:44

fart smelling, featherless fuckwits

4:46

to be had. He

4:49

banked right, continuing his slow,

4:51

methodical scan around the area.

4:54

Street lights. Cracked pavement.

4:57

Flat buildings called motels,

4:59

where humans mated. Shitbird

5:03

did not know if Lincoln was going to mate

5:05

that night. He was going

5:07

to a motel. Would the

5:09

Areola woman be there? Those

5:11

two mated a lot. Six

5:15

hotels. A convenience

5:17

store with an overflowing dumpster. Shitbird

5:20

hoped he'd get a chance to

5:22

dive into that buffet. He could

5:24

smell decomposing donuts and overcooked four -day

5:26

-old hot dogs. Two

5:29

semi -trucks.

5:32

Eighteen pickup trucks. Eight white, six

5:34

black, three silver, one blue. One

5:36

van. Nineteen cars.

5:39

Nine black, eight white, one gray, one

5:41

canary yellow, like that American goldfinch

5:43

in David Tell Park who kept flashing

5:45

her tail feathers when Shitbird flew

5:47

by. A little tease. Shitbird

5:51

wanted to close that deal soon. But

5:54

he couldn't close it tonight, because

5:56

Lincoln just had to visit

5:58

the Forked Tongue Motel. And

6:02

he made Shitbird scan the area to

6:04

make sure all was well. None

6:07

of the vehicles were familiar. The

6:11

motel's billboard had a mesh work overlay

6:13

with some words, but Shitbird didn't know

6:15

how to read. Seven words,

6:17

41 letters. The

6:20

area was clean. Aways

6:23

away from the motel and the

6:25

shadows behind the convenience store, Lincoln

6:27

and his motorcycle. Shitbird

6:30

liked to ride on the

6:32

handlebars, but Lincoln made

6:34

Shitbird fly because Lincoln was

6:37

mad. He'd been pretty

6:39

goddamn stingy with the crackers. Shitbird

6:42

folded his wings and dove.

6:52

Lincoln watched the motel. Critical,

6:56

no one saw him. Even

6:58

here in BFE, in the sticks

7:00

of salt hollow, in the marshlands,

7:02

he could not be seen. Not

7:05

for this. Heard the

7:07

whispering sweep of feathers, the

7:09

murmur of counter -flapping wings as

7:11

Shitbird flew in. The

7:14

big bird landed on Lincoln's

7:16

ride, his gorgeous Volt

7:18

Lakama Biposto electric motorcycle. Delilah

7:21

Drummond had bought it for him. A

7:24

killer bike, flat

7:26

black and lovely. Take

7:29

me for a ride, take me for a ride,

7:31

take me for a ride. Hell no,

7:33

Lincoln said. And you better

7:35

not shit on my seat. Shitbird

7:38

snapped his beak in

7:40

annoyance. Police, love you,

7:42

love you, so handsome. No

7:46

means no, Lincoln said. Now

7:48

you know I'm pissed. Shooting

7:50

off your mouth or beak. I

7:52

mean you sell out your bro. Your

7:54

bro. Don't take it for rides. Capiche

7:57

Shitbird hopped

8:00

from one foot to the other. Not my

8:02

fault. You fight like a penguin like a

8:04

penguin It is your fault.

8:06

You shoot your mouth off to

8:08

strangers How do you think it feels to

8:10

me that people in court? I think I

8:12

fight like a penguin you do you

8:14

do Lincoln

8:16

wondered How far he could punt

8:19

the goddamn bird? No,

8:21

ride. Then get me

8:23

a fucking cracker! A fucking cracker! No,

8:26

cracker. What did you see? Is

8:29

the area clean? All clear,

8:31

all clear! Danger is never

8:33

more, never more! Oh,

8:36

the bird was gonna pull that shit, was he? Don't

8:39

you try that Edgar Allen post shit on

8:41

me, you backstabber. I am not in

8:43

the mood. You get your

8:45

butt up in the air. and keep an eye out.

8:48

If all goes well and no one sees

8:50

me here, maybe you

8:52

get a cracker

8:54

when we get home."

8:57

Shitbird's head cocked to the side.

9:00

Lincoln saw him looking at the

9:02

overflowing smelly dumpster. Up

9:04

high in the lookout. Up high in the

9:06

lookout. Yes, sir, boss man. Lincoln

9:10

pointed to the dumpster. No

9:12

diving. You don't

9:14

get a damn thing until we get

9:17

home. You got

9:19

it?" Shitbird's little

9:21

shoulders slumped. You're

9:23

a miserable prick, a miserable prick. Go

9:25

listen to some emo, some emo. The

9:30

raven who identified as a crow

9:32

sprang up, one wingtip just so

9:34

happening to flick Lincoln's face before

9:36

strong flaps drove the bird up

9:38

high to vanish into the night's

9:41

blackness. Lincoln

9:43

got on his bike. and drove it

9:45

into the motel parking lot. Room

9:48

69. Because

9:50

of course it was. He

9:52

parked as far away from the room as the

9:54

lot permitted. He got off

9:56

the bike, glanced up to the neon

9:58

sign as he did. The

10:01

forked -tongue motel. Below

10:04

those words, in glowing meshwork

10:06

letters, free cable,

10:08

whispering ice, absolutely

10:10

no mirrors. Blazing

10:13

hells. He said, then silently

10:15

walked to the room.

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Room 69's door open inward a

12:57

crack, pulling the chain lock

12:59

tight. Really, kid?

13:01

Lincoln said. The chain

13:04

lock. Billy

13:06

peered out through the thin space. He

13:09

wore civvy clothes over his armor. His

13:12

new staff stuck up from the same back

13:14

holster where he had kept his machete. Did

13:16

you get followed, Link? What's a

13:19

password? Swear to

13:21

God, this guy. The

13:23

password is, if you don't want me

13:25

to hit you so hard, your brain

13:27

leaks out your nose, then open the

13:29

goddamn door. Billy's

13:32

eyes widened. That's

13:34

not the password, but it'll do till we get

13:36

one. He shut

13:38

the door. Lincoln heard

13:40

the chain lock slide away. Billy

13:43

let Lincoln. Welcome

13:45

to Vardesh, Dante said.

13:48

We have been waiting for you. Billy

13:51

closed the door and, once

13:53

again, slid the stupid chain

13:55

lock into its notch. The

13:58

fork -tongue motel had been built in

14:00

the 80s, maybe? Low

14:02

-pile, orange -round shag carpeting, dotted with

14:04

cigarette burns and worn to a

14:06

dull sheen along the path from

14:09

the bed to the TV to

14:11

the bathroom. Two

14:13

beds, both with polyester

14:15

bedspreads printed in geometric shapes

14:17

of rust red, avocado green,

14:19

and mustard yellow. Dante,

14:23

in full goblin mode and wearing

14:25

his red Adidas tracksuit, Lay on

14:27

one bed. Pillows bunched up and

14:29

under his back and shoulders. Dragon

14:34

lay on the other bed, her tail

14:36

thumping. She had twisted her

14:38

blanket into a nest. Looked

14:40

kind of cozy. Laptop

14:42

open in front of her. Ariela

14:44

sat at a small, four -micah -top

14:47

table, positioned just beside what passed

14:49

for a kitchenette. A

14:51

rust -speckled mini fridge, a

14:53

hot plate that had seen better

14:55

days, and a tiny sink with

14:57

yellowing porcelain and a dripping lime -scale

14:59

covered faucet. Dylan

15:02

Cantrell sat next to her, his ever

15:04

-present messenger bag on the carpet at

15:06

his feet. A green

15:08

sphere on a golden stand rested

15:10

in the table's center. Hello,

15:13

Lincoln, Cantrell said. I'm

15:16

glad you made it here safe. We

15:18

waited to start until you arrived. Have

15:20

a seat. He

15:22

gestured. to a drab olive chair

15:25

with green electrical tape covering cuts in

15:27

the vinyl. Whoever

15:29

had placed the tape hadn't bothered with

15:31

the brown -ringed cigarette burns on the

15:33

arms. Yeah, I'll

15:35

stand. Thanks, Lincoln said. Fancy

15:38

place you rented for the meeting, Dante. Too

15:40

bad I didn't bring my Kevlar

15:43

dental dams and industrial strength full

15:45

-auto penicillin hypo, or we can

15:47

invite the neighbors in for a

15:49

wholesome methodology. Was

15:51

not to me. Dante

15:53

gestured to Cantrell. He

15:56

is what you call Cheapskate. I

15:58

am used to nicer accommodations, but

16:01

do not sell methorgy short until

16:03

you have tried. This

16:05

room does have one feature I like

16:07

though. He tapped

16:09

a beat -up metal box next to

16:11

the tan phone on the nightstand that

16:13

separated the two beds. A

16:16

faded gold label red

16:18

magic fingers is vibrating

16:20

mattress. I do not

16:22

have coin. Do you have $2 .25

16:25

in quarters? Lincoln

16:27

couldn't help a sneer of

16:29

disgust. Yeah, no cash

16:31

on me. Sorry. Mags,

16:34

you listening? Show

16:36

enough! The sphere

16:38

pulsed a lighter green with each syllable

16:40

Mag to spoke. Ariella's

16:42

got me dialed in. The

16:45

gang was all there. Great.

16:48

All right, Dante. Lincoln

16:51

sat on the edge of

16:53

the other bed, scratched Dragon's

16:55

floppy, fuzzy ear. Tell

16:57

us about this evidence that proves Calista

16:59

used to grow polyps, and how do

17:01

we use it to blackmail her? Lincoln

17:05

noticed Cantrell shrink in on

17:07

himself a little. Whatever

17:09

this was, Cantrell already

17:12

knew the story. He'd

17:14

arranged this meeting, set it

17:16

far away from the Old Stone

17:18

Church, and Lumencia's more populated neighborhoods.

17:21

Dante looked longingly at

17:23

the magic fingers box, sighed

17:26

in disappointment. Vine.

17:30

He turned, put his feet on the

17:32

floor. I have told

17:34

you that Kalista had Polyp Farm

17:36

at her club. While this is true,

17:38

he's not source of blackmail. Polyp

17:40

Farm, yes, but had is wrong

17:43

word. She has

17:45

one. An active one.

17:47

Beneath the Olnwick Poison Garden

17:49

in England. Lincoln's

17:52

heart sank. He

17:54

had dared to believe Dante

17:57

had something real. Poison

17:59

Garden? Ariella

18:02

chuckled. Sounds like a nice

18:04

place to visit. Dante

18:06

nodded. Actually, his

18:08

popular tourist attraction. Man,

18:11

this is some bullshit! Magda

18:13

said, the sphere pulsing in

18:16

time. Dante, did

18:18

you have your own private

18:20

methodology before this meeting? Because you

18:22

must be high if you

18:24

think Kalista has an active polyp

18:26

farm. Cantrell

18:28

shook his head. No,

18:30

he's not high, Magda. It's true.

18:34

Dante Ogunov was a criminal

18:37

and a liar. Dylan

18:39

Cantrell was neither. The

18:42

eternally optimistic lawyer didn't even

18:44

like to exaggerate. If

18:46

he said Dante was telling the

18:48

truth, then Lincoln was inclined to believe

18:51

the story. Right,

18:53

Ariela said. And

18:55

no one knows about this place

18:57

except you, Dante. Is that right? Ariela

19:01

was looking fine. Knee

19:03

high black leather boots with a matching

19:05

leather skirt. A white

19:07

blouse buttoned down just so. Turquoise

19:11

chunk bracelets to match her

19:13

turquoise chunk charm necklace. Her

19:16

black horn -rimmed glasses gave

19:18

her a dominatrix librarian vibe. Too

19:21

bad everyone was here. A

19:23

horizontal mamba with ariela might

19:26

let Lincoln forget his son was

19:28

trapped in purgatory, at least

19:30

for a little while. Lincoln

19:32

had yet to tell the old stone

19:35

church crew that bounty hunting, their

19:37

main business, was soon to be

19:39

off limits. Apparently

19:41

Billy hadn't spilled the

19:43

beans. about how much Yogaitogone

19:45

cost. If he

19:47

had, Ariela would have mentioned

19:49

it first thing. When

19:52

it came to talking about

19:54

money, she wasn't exactly shy. Dante,

19:57

that doesn't make any sense,

19:59

really said. I read up on anemones.

20:01

Root systems go deep, way deep,

20:04

like miles into the ground. They

20:06

tap into luric forces, play

20:08

lines and shit like that. Some

20:10

mesh workers can draw this energy in and

20:12

use it. making it more powerful. But

20:15

the mesh worker has been near those routes

20:17

to use the power. Does Kalista

20:19

go to England? Lincoln

20:21

was impressed. He

20:23

knew some of the anemone lore

20:26

from his father's obsession with the Unweaver

20:28

prophecy, but such information

20:30

wasn't well known. Billy's

20:32

nerd skills came in handy

20:34

sometimes. Kalista

20:36

never leaves Lumenzi as far as

20:38

I know, Lincoln said. She

20:41

stays in her building. in the club

20:43

part mostly, but I believe she has living

20:45

space in there too. Makes sense

20:47

she'd never leave if she had a power -up

20:49

like Walt's talking about, but I

20:51

saw her anemones. They're

20:53

dried up and dead. Dante

20:57

started fidgeting with the Magic

20:59

Fingers box. Galista

21:01

is too smart to have anemones and

21:03

polyps where she live. He

21:06

pushed on the box's metal

21:08

front, probing. What did he think

21:10

he was going to do? Locke picked the thing. She

21:12

has come up with other system. Unwick

21:15

is Castle. Poison

21:18

Gardens are grounds. Beneath

21:20

them, she has a

21:22

dormantus. It feeds her the energy.

21:25

That's why she is so powerful when she is

21:27

at the club. A

21:29

dormantus? Lincoln

21:31

didn't know that word. He

21:34

looked at Billy, who shrugged. Then

21:36

at Ariela, who didn't react at

21:38

all. All right. I'll

21:40

bite," Lincoln said. The

21:42

fuck is a dormantus? Dante

21:46

didn't seem to hear the question. He

21:49

leaned close to the coin box and

21:51

squinted one eye into the slot. A

21:54

dormantus is a soul

21:56

shard, Cantrell said. It's

21:58

a literal piece of Calista's soul.

22:01

She's not in England, but her

22:03

dormantus is. It feeds

22:05

her the anemone energy. Distance

22:07

doesn't matter, Lincoln. I've

22:09

researched this. It's rare,

22:12

but it's real." Dante wrapped

22:14

his knuckles on the

22:16

box. Does anyone have

22:18

lighter or perhaps can of WD

22:20

-30? That's WD -40,

22:23

really said. 30,

22:25

40. Dante flicked

22:27

the box, listened to the sound. Whatever

22:30

it takes. Forget

22:32

the goddamn magic fingers, Lincoln

22:34

said. What's this? Dormantus got

22:36

to do with us blackmailing.

22:38

that red -haired bitch into giving

22:40

back my son. Dante

22:44

rubbed his hands on his knees, but he

22:46

didn't take his eyes off the metal box.

22:49

His piece of her soul, he said, better

22:51

than fingerprint. We give

22:53

to Bastion, she is busted. They

22:56

execute her, or she spent rest of

22:58

life in cell in Bastion jail. She

23:00

knows this. His white dormant is

23:02

a secret, heavily guarded. If

23:06

Lincoln had learned one thing, during

23:08

his time as the son of

23:10

Jacobi Franks, and as a rixitor.

23:13

It was that in the world of

23:15

magic, there was always far more

23:17

unknown than known. He

23:19

had never heard of a dormantus, but

23:21

he didn't doubt such a thing was possible.

23:25

Kid, he said, can

23:27

you research this and we get back to the church? Billy

23:30

sat down in the green

23:32

chair. You got it, Link. Still

23:36

staring at the box. Dante

23:38

reached a hand toward Ariella,

23:40

palm up. You have

23:42

nail file in purse. Ariella

23:45

frowned. What's in

23:47

my purse isn't sure a fair

23:49

goblin. Give him

23:51

the damn file or something, Magda

23:53

said. The sphere pulsing green. I

23:56

want to hear the rest of this. So

23:59

did Lincoln. So did

24:01

Billy. Even Dragon did,

24:03

or so it seemed. from her

24:05

ears being lifted slightly higher

24:07

than normal. Ariella

24:10

dug through her purse,

24:12

also black leather, also matching

24:14

the sexy boots. Okay,

24:17

so we go to England, really said.

24:19

We grab the dormantus, come back to

24:21

Lumencia, tell Calisa what's what. She gives

24:23

Dante her turf, gives Lake in the

24:25

contract for Sam's protection. That

24:27

sounds easy enough. The

24:30

kid was smart, but he still had

24:32

to work on the common sense thing.

24:35

If it was easy, Dante

24:37

wouldn't need us, Lincoln said. Isn't

24:39

that right? You drug dealing,

24:41

green skin, big -eared piece of

24:44

shit. Ariela

24:46

found a nail file, tossed

24:48

it to Dante, who caught it without

24:50

looking away from the box. Your

24:53

words are hurtful, men in gray.

24:56

Dante started poking at the box. I

24:59

may cry myself through sleep at night. Polista.

25:02

does not go to England, but

25:04

her lover Mercutio does, to check on

25:06

things to solve problems, what have

25:08

you. When he goes, Kalista

25:10

calls ahead to the gatekeeper. When

25:13

Mercutio arrives, gatekeeper makes

25:15

sure all death traps are turned

25:18

off. Billy

25:20

lean forward. Um,

25:22

death traps? Did this guy just say

25:24

death traps? Duh. Dante

25:27

slid the nail file into the coin

25:29

slot. Bad news first.

25:31

Kalista has put much time and

25:33

money into defending Dormantas. It

25:35

has a security system that rivals even

25:38

the Bastions jail. First,

25:40

we have to get past Gatekeeper. This

25:42

will take more than smile and

25:44

polite cupping of testicles. Billy's

25:48

face wrinkled. He

25:50

looked at Lincoln. Lincoln shook

25:52

his head, telling Billy to let it

25:54

pass. Russian goblins

25:56

were gonna Russian goblin. Next,

25:59

we descended the limestone cavern

26:01

far below prison garden, Dante

26:04

said, very narrow stairs, centuries

26:06

old, made of stone, often

26:09

wet. You must watch

26:11

step. If you fall, you

26:13

land in iron bane vines. Iron

26:16

bane vines, Magdysaurve said,

26:19

what are those? Oh,

26:22

Cantrell opened his messenger bag.

26:24

I made some printouts. Iron

26:26

bane vines are these

26:28

meshwork titanium carnivorous plants. Wow,

26:31

they're really something. You

26:33

can't cut them and you

26:35

can't burn them. Think T2000

26:37

from Terminator meets Audrey 2

26:39

from Little Shop of Horrors.

26:43

Cantrell started placing papers

26:45

into six piles. The

26:48

stakes weren't so goddamn serious. Lincoln

26:51

would have found his friend's

26:53

attention to detail absolutely adorable. Dante

26:57

pulled the nail file out, tapped

26:59

it against his temple, thinking. Best

27:03

vines lie poison pool, he

27:05

said. This is where it gets

27:07

tricky. One drop of poison will

27:09

kill anything. There is walkway

27:11

across pool, but it is

27:13

submerged. The matron of

27:15

the pool lives on platform in center

27:17

of poison pool. She has both. When

27:21

she has been told by gatekeeper, she takes

27:23

both to far side of pool and pulls

27:25

a lever. This lowers the

27:27

poison below the walkway.

27:29

Then you may cross. But

27:31

small problem. Pool is

27:34

also full of undead orcas. Wait,

27:36

wait, what? Billy stood

27:38

up. Undead orcas? Da

27:41

orca is marine mammal. 6

27:43

to 8 meters in length.

27:45

Typical weight is 5 ,000 kilos.

27:47

Apex hunter. No natural enemies. Bite

27:50

force. Estimated between 19 ,000 and

27:52

28 ,000. Pounds per, I know

27:54

what the fuck a killer

27:56

whale is. Billy snapped. Mag

27:58

says that 1977 Richard Harris movie

28:00

Orca on Blu -ray. Good

28:02

movie. Magdysphere said. Great

28:05

movie. Billy said. I was

28:07

asking about that. I'm dead heart.

28:10

Dante put the nail file

28:13

partway into the coin slot.

28:15

Yes, I'm dead. They

28:17

moved the file back and forth, bending

28:20

it slightly each way. Zombie

28:22

orcas. quite common where I come

28:24

from. He bent

28:26

the nail file down so far it

28:28

almost broke, then let go. The

28:30

nail file wobbled violently, vibrating

28:33

the box, which suddenly

28:35

fell open, spilling a

28:37

shower of quarters and one

28:39

used condom across the

28:41

nightstand. Ew, Ariela

28:43

said. Well,

28:45

how about that? Dante

28:48

had jimmied the box

28:50

open. He hadn't even used magic

28:52

to do so. Lincoln remembered

28:54

him saying something about being a

28:56

second story man in his younger days.

28:59

Lockpicking? Check. Was

29:02

he good at breaking and entering? Shadowing

29:04

people? If they're

29:06

poisoned, mission is piece of cake! Dante

29:09

closed the box, picked up

29:11

some quarters, and started sliding them in.

29:14

Only defense that remained is a

29:16

nominee chamber itself, full of

29:19

free -ranging polyps. Those

29:21

words sent to steal

29:23

chill through Lincoln's chest. Hold

29:26

on. Free

29:28

ranging polyps? Duh.

29:30

Polyps are larval form of anemone.

29:32

They move quickly in search of

29:34

prey. I know what a fucking

29:37

polyp is, you green -skinned runt,

29:39

Lincoln said. They're vicious

29:41

and deadly. Ain't no

29:43

more horrible way to die than one

29:45

of those crawling snot bastards getting inside

29:47

you. How many are there? Perhaps

29:50

two dozen. Dante

29:52

slid in the last coin.

29:55

The bed began to vibrate with a

29:57

noise like two fat ghosts fucking

29:59

on barbed wire. Do not

30:01

worry. I have guy on inside. Pubs

30:04

will be asleep. He's fine

30:06

as long as we don't wake them. He

30:10

laid back against his pile of

30:12

pillows. The tips of

30:14

his long green ears wavered in time

30:16

with the bed's movement. His

30:18

face broken to a relaxed

30:20

grin that revealed pointy teeth.

30:23

Ah, he's nice. Dragon

30:27

barked once, shot out

30:29

of her blanket bed, and curled up

30:31

in Dante's lap. I like

30:33

this dog, Dante said, his

30:36

voice wavering from the vibrations. Where

30:38

were we? Oh yes, Dormanta's

30:41

vault is inside a nominee

30:43

chamber. This is good news,

30:45

is easiest part of all. There is

30:47

only one key to vault. Mercutio's

30:50

heart. We obtain key,

30:52

bring it with us. Easy

30:54

peasy." Lincoln felt

30:56

a headache coming on.

31:00

Mercutio's heart? Please

31:02

tell me, that's some form of jewelry

31:04

we have to steal, like a fucking

31:06

locket or something? Unfortunately,

31:09

no, Cantrell said. It

31:11

seems Mercutio willingly accepted a

31:14

meshwork cipher inside his heart. Only

31:16

he can open the vault. Lincoln

31:20

knew that Mercutio happily

31:22

served Calista, but

31:24

that was some serious

31:26

dedication. Calista's

31:29

coochie must be something else,

31:31

Billy said. She can make a

31:33

guy put some cypher lock thingy inside his ticker.

31:37

Crazy times. Dante

31:40

had a dragon who seemed

31:42

to love the vibrating bed. As

31:44

I said, easy peasy. We

31:47

kill Mercutio. Rip heart from

31:49

chest, take heart with us. I

31:51

have awesome yeti cooler. Heart will

31:53

fit nicely. Ariela

31:56

leaned back in her chair. I'd

31:59

really rather not be potty to

32:01

murder. That

32:04

expression on her face. Concern,

32:08

trepidation. Lincoln had

32:10

never seen her look that way before.

32:13

Dante laughed. What

32:15

do you care? Mercutio is plaything

32:18

of Calista. He would

32:20

kill you in heartbeat if tables

32:22

were turned." Now, Ariela said. Subtly,

32:26

almost unnoticeably, she

32:28

shook her head. He would

32:30

not do that. How

32:33

did she know what Mercutio would or

32:35

wouldn't do? It didn't

32:37

matter. Lincoln had fought

32:39

side by side with Mercutio. Now

32:42

they weren't friends by any means.

32:45

But when the battle came, Merck

32:47

had not shied away. He

32:50

had stood his ground. And

32:52

that was worth something. I

32:55

agree with Ariela, Lincoln said. We're

32:58

not killing Mercutio. Billy

33:01

let out a held breath. Man,

33:04

am I glad to hear that. I don't

33:06

like killing. The

33:08

kids still hadn't gotten over

33:10

cooking Haimana like a lobster on

33:12

Hibachi. That. would

33:14

have to change because killing was

33:17

a part of this business. A

33:20

business, Billy, Lincoln, Magda

33:22

and Ariela might not be

33:24

in that much longer if

33:26

Auntie Winita and Basil Beverly

33:28

got their way. Well,

33:31

then plan is fucked,

33:33

Dante said. It is

33:35

not like Mercutio will help us against

33:37

his mistress. So we can't nap

33:40

him, really said. We grab him, we take him

33:42

with us. Ariella

33:44

closed her laptop. We

33:46

can't, she said. Kalista

33:49

knows you, Lincoln. Lumencia

33:51

isn't that big of a town. You

33:54

can bet she knows Walt is working

33:56

with you. And Dante doesn't dare

33:58

show his face. Kalista

34:00

adores Mercutio. If

34:03

any of us get spotted going

34:05

after him, that's the same thing

34:07

as going after her, which means

34:09

Sam is done for. You

34:11

can't kidnap Mercutio at the club. where he

34:13

is most of the time. And

34:16

his house is full of little talismans

34:18

from Kalista. You try to grab

34:20

him there, she'll know. You want

34:22

to kidnap him, you'll need to hire

34:24

a freelancer. And good luck

34:26

finding one who won't rat you out

34:28

to Kalista. She is the

34:30

most powerful crime lord in our city. Hiring

34:33

help is too risky. Ariela

34:37

was right. Lincoln

34:39

had never crossed Kalista

34:41

before. If he

34:43

did, and she found out, she

34:46

would order Nanny Naga to

34:48

stop protecting Samuel. The

34:50

evil of the shelf would

34:52

eat that boy alive. But

34:55

wait a minute. How

34:58

did Ariela know what was in Mercutio's

35:00

apartment? We dig our way in, really

35:02

said, right? We figure out

35:04

how to dig down and bypass all

35:06

the death traps. We come up

35:08

right in the vault like Jason Statham

35:10

in the bank job or like

35:12

in Sexy Beast. Magnosphere said, great movie.

35:15

Dante reached out, slapped the

35:18

coin box. The

35:20

shaking stopped. Dragon

35:22

hopped off Dante's lap as the

35:24

goblin sat up, annoyed. If

35:26

we could dig, I would have told

35:29

you, Dante said. Digging make

35:31

big vibration. Big vibration, wake

35:33

up, warm mother. Oh,

35:36

for fuck's sake. Another

35:38

trap. You do

35:40

not want to wake up the

35:42

worm mother, Cantrell said. She's

35:44

like, wow, if a

35:46

scorpion had sex with a wyvern and

35:48

they had like a baby the size

35:51

of a garbage truck with claws

35:53

that'll cut through mesh work armor in

35:55

one snap and a tail that shoots

35:57

acid that will dissolve you on

35:59

the spot. Lincoln's

36:02

headache grew stronger. Then

36:04

we do kidnap Mercutio, Magnosphere

36:07

said. Without Kalista, no one

36:09

who it was. We

36:11

can come up with something for that. I'll

36:14

put my thinking cap on. Dante

36:18

slid the quarters off the nightstand

36:20

and into his hand. Wonderful.

36:23

Very professional decision. Instead

36:25

of taking his heart, we take him. He

36:28

put the coins into his sweatpants

36:30

pocket. Could not possibly

36:32

go wrong. Could not possibly wind

36:34

up getting all of us

36:37

killed. Very smart. So we bring

36:39

kidnap Mercutio with us, we

36:41

open vaults, we get Dormethus. Lincoln

36:44

wondered if all goblins were

36:46

this sarcastic. Um,

36:49

I have a question, Billy said. Dante

36:52

nodded. Go ahead. Say

36:55

we get past the gatekeeper and

36:57

into the sub training layer, Billy said,

37:00

and down the slippery steps. that

37:02

a century's old and threw the

37:04

iron bane vines that can't be

37:06

killed and across the poison pool

37:09

that can't be crossed into the

37:11

anemone chamber with the free -ranging pallets.

37:13

Oh, wow. And without being seen

37:15

by the cultists there, Cantrell said,

37:17

and the psychotic pus addicts. There's

37:20

a bunch of them as well.

37:22

He reached into his bag, grabbed another

37:24

stack of printouts, started placing them

37:27

on the piles of paper. Duh,

37:29

study. Dante said, I

37:31

forgot to mention cultists

37:33

and prosthetics. A

37:36

migraine. It

37:38

was definitely a migraine. Lincoln

37:40

hadn't had one in years. Yeah,

37:43

Billy said. Well, let's say we

37:46

do all that without waking up the

37:48

warm mother. We're just supposed to

37:50

walk out with Kalista's precious dormantus on

37:52

us without getting stopped. All

37:55

eyes turned to Dante. The

37:58

he said. Billy,

38:00

lean back in chair. Oh,

38:04

okay. Dante

38:06

rubbed his hands together. There

38:09

a Dormanta's vault

38:11

also holds ,000 pieces.

38:14

We split evenly. Everybody wins.

38:17

Now, let us plan how to get

38:19

past death traps. But first,

38:21

I am hungry. I

38:23

must save my quarters for parking.

38:25

anyone have money to order

38:28

several pizzas? You

38:39

have been listening to

38:41

Slay, created and read

38:44

by Scott Siggler. Copyright

38:47

2023, Empty

38:49

Set Entertainment. For For

38:51

more information on the

38:53

author and more books,

38:56

visit scottsiggler.com. Theme

38:58

music is the song

39:00

they're watching me by the

39:02

band Superweapon. All

39:11

right, girls, this is the

39:13

place. We'll get

39:15

everything loaded over to the boat and

39:17

we'll lock up the truck. Don't leave anything

39:19

behind. Wait,

39:22

is that it? That's

39:24

where we're going? Yeah,

39:26

that's it. Sealskin Rock.

39:31

Wow. Return

39:37

to the Mysteries and

39:39

Mind Sealskin Rock. Subscribe

39:41

now to catch the premiere and we'll

39:43

see you on the I

39:59

rock. don't have much time. I

40:01

am being transported by the Ecclesiad

40:03

Vessel Marcava stand trial for heresy

40:05

of the highest order, but

40:07

I will not renounce my work, and

40:10

to my last breath I will speak the

40:12

truth of this plague -ridden world, that

40:14

ours is not a loving God, and

40:16

we are not its favourite children.

40:19

The heresies of Red of Bandwine,

40:21

Chapter 2, coming late first!

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