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3:59

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4:01

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4:04

feather in a little bit of

4:06

like, how are you feeling? How's

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4:19

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4:23

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4:26

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Wow. Wow. Imagine you're 80

4:30

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4:34

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4:37

I'm seeing that all over. I'm

4:39

like, what the hell is going

4:41

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4:43

80? Like I didn't get it

4:45

at first. I was like, is

4:47

this person really 80? I was

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like, is this person really 80?

4:51

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care or like, what's happening? What

4:56

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4:58

again. in a healthy body where

5:00

I can go outside and go

5:03

on a hike and have the

5:05

energy and look in the mirror

5:07

and not feel, you know, old.

5:09

I know. So quit trying to

5:11

get me to think about

5:14

summer when I'm in spring. Oh wow.

5:16

This went into a TED Talk that

5:18

I was not anticipating. I might do

5:20

TED, that might be my new career

5:22

path, just TED Talks across the nation.

5:24

Yeah, my new career path might be

5:26

helping women find prenatal that don't make

5:29

them nauseous 24 7. Oh, I've heard

5:31

about that. Oh my gosh. I've heard,

5:33

and you know what really intimidates

5:35

me about pregnancy if I ever choose

5:37

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5:39

the first trimester. It's just, the

5:42

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5:44

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5:46

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details. I

26:01

look once, Mom. All right, from Kaylee.

26:03

Hi, I'm back at Tanya Mark in

26:05

Easton. I'm a 33-year-old female, and I'm

26:07

so in love with my husband in

26:10

four years, who are such a wonderful

26:12

and happy stage in our lives, my

26:14

question about having such a wonderful and

26:16

happy stage in our lives, my question

26:18

about having kids. I've wanted to be

26:21

a mom since I was a little

26:23

girl, and I know my husband and

26:25

I completely. terrified. Their daughter has a

26:27

lot of behavioral issues. Their pediatrician says

26:29

it's normal. She throws tantrums constantly, daily,

26:32

sometimes multiple times a day. She screams,

26:34

hits, bites, cries, whenever she doesn't get

26:36

her way. She's not a good sleeper.

26:38

She needs constant attention. She can now

26:40

play independently. And originally, we thought it

26:43

was a terrible two, and she'd grow

26:45

out of it, but she turned four

26:47

in January, and she's still going strong.

26:49

On top of all that, my brother

26:52

and his wife are getting divorced. The

26:54

trouble started right after they had her.

26:56

And they've tried to work through it

26:58

in couple's therapy, but they're moving forward

27:00

with the divorce. Watching the whole thing

27:03

go down has us both scared to

27:05

death. We've also had a few friends

27:07

recently started having kids, and one couple

27:09

constantly expresses how much they hate being

27:11

parents and even say awful things about

27:14

their baby. Oh my God. When we

27:16

think about our life long term, we

27:18

know we want to be parents, but

27:20

we're so scared of losing sleep, losing

27:22

ourselves, losing each other in the process.

27:25

And if it's anything like my brother's

27:27

experience, I'm not sure my mental health

27:29

can survive it. So it's our fear

27:31

of sign that we shouldn't be having

27:34

kids. We just have faith and dive

27:36

in and hope for the best. I'm

27:38

so interested in having kids. We just

27:40

have faith and dive in and hope

27:42

for the besties. I'm also. Don, you're

27:45

just eyeing me through on the wide-eyed

27:47

the whole time. Kaylee, I think you're

27:49

going through something that so many people

27:51

go through. Like, I think you have

27:53

an idea of what you want in

27:56

your life, right? You want to get

27:58

married, you want to fall. in love

28:00

you want to find your person and

28:02

then you want to create babies and

28:04

have babies and be a mom and

28:07

be a parent and then the thing

28:09

is is that I think when our

28:11

parents were parents like my mom

28:13

never complained about being mom my mom

28:15

never made it seem hard or like

28:18

a burden and so I didn't know

28:20

of anything other than just like pure

28:22

bliss enjoy being a mom until social

28:25

media really social media like being and

28:27

also being an adult and like having

28:29

a reality of how much sacrifice and

28:32

like love goes into being a parent

28:34

and also hearing like it is people

28:36

say it's like the hardest thing you

28:38

do but like you have never experienced

28:40

a love like that and I think

28:43

that I think there's so much beauty

28:45

in getting to experience that and I

28:47

also think we have a little more

28:49

insight into the potential of challenges that

28:51

comes with being a parent more

28:54

than ever before. People talk about

28:56

it like way more openly than

28:58

ever. And you also, the thing is that

29:00

you don't know what you're going

29:02

to get when you become a

29:04

parent. And Mark's only, well, Tony

29:06

is a stepparent, but Mark's the

29:08

only parent in here who has,

29:10

you know, navigated having kids. But

29:12

I'm interested in, when she said, I'm

29:15

scared of losing sleep, losing ourselves and

29:17

losing each other in the process.

29:19

This is a wacky idea But

29:21

I feel like the first three years

29:23

is when it's like really intense.

29:25

This is what Robbie's, you know

29:27

Taught me is like that's when

29:30

it's like the first few years

29:32

when it's like a baby baby

29:34

That's when you're really losing like

29:36

the the the all of that

29:38

stuff There are so many kids that are

29:40

out there that need to be fostered

29:42

and adopted. If you guys know

29:44

that you want to have kids and

29:47

you want to have a family, but

29:49

maybe you don't want to lose sleep,

29:51

lose yourselves, and lose a thing, what

29:53

if you foster to adopt a child that's

29:55

like four and up? Well, that comes,

29:57

there's a lot that comes of

29:59

that too. emotionally I know I

30:01

know but she's saying she she

30:03

believes it in her heart that

30:05

she wants to be a parent

30:07

but she's scared of these certain

30:10

things that I feel like come

30:12

with like a baby baby so

30:14

maybe fostering to adopt is is

30:16

the way well I think there's

30:18

a lot of it's not nothing's

30:20

I mean having a baby no

30:22

matter how you do it is

30:24

like the most beautiful I think

30:26

like one of the most sacrificial

30:28

loving things you can do whether

30:30

it's you have the child biologically

30:32

or adopt or foster whatever the

30:34

reason but Mark, I guess the

30:37

thing is you as a parent,

30:39

you are going to lose sleep,

30:41

like that's inevitable. I think you're

30:43

going to lose all three of

30:45

those to some extent. Not completely,

30:47

but you are going to lose

30:49

sleep, you are going to lose

30:51

yourselves, you're going to lose each

30:53

other a little bit, but you're

30:55

going to lose each other a

30:57

little bit, but you're also bringing

30:59

in such an incredible joy into

31:01

your lives, except that it was

31:04

your calling when you were a

31:06

kid. But there is so much

31:08

positives, and I've talked on here

31:10

before, and extensively, there's a Mark

31:12

and Easton show from years ago,

31:14

where we talked about this a

31:16

lot, the issues we had with

31:18

my daughter and her anxiety, and

31:20

how I was completely ill-equipped to

31:22

deal with that, and how I

31:24

am not proud of how I

31:26

dealt with that, and how I'll

31:28

never forgive myself or how I

31:31

dealt with that. But even with

31:33

that stress and craziness that brought

31:35

into our lives, the joy of

31:37

having her... far outweighed any of

31:39

that. Like it's not even close,

31:41

it's not even a conversation. Maybe

31:43

I wouldn't have to go through

31:45

that, but then she's not in

31:47

our lives, like that's not even

31:49

a thought. It's the most glorious

31:51

thing. Being a parent is incredible,

31:53

and when you hold your child

31:55

for the first time, that's what

31:58

you're going to be flooded with.

32:00

And you're going to know that

32:02

you made the right decision, and

32:04

you know that it doesn't matter

32:06

what the future may hold. In

32:08

that moment and throughout it will

32:10

all be worth it from that

32:12

moment on and you'll know when

32:14

you hold her you'll know this

32:16

was worth it and I wouldn't

32:18

change a thing and I would

32:20

die for this child. That's what

32:22

I hear consistently and I also

32:25

I know it's totally different but

32:27

I do think it's different when

32:29

it's your child like when it's

32:31

your choice what? Looks like I

32:33

can cry. No I'm fine. I

32:35

think it's different when it's it's

32:37

yours and like you're comparing your

32:39

your... Brother in law brother who

32:41

yeah her brother you're comparing your

32:43

brother's situation and it sounds like

32:45

they're in the trenches But I'm

32:47

sure they wouldn't give up her

32:49

for anything like they probably are

32:52

like she's crazy and we're dealing

32:54

with a lot of behavioral stuff

32:56

But I we love her because

32:58

she is theirs and I think

33:00

that it's the same like it's

33:02

it's different, but it's like I

33:04

don't necessarily I love dogs, but

33:06

like what I do for Phoebe

33:08

and how I love me Well

33:10

I love Sunny, but like what

33:12

I tolerate with Phoebe, I would

33:14

never tolerate with, you know, she

33:16

could pee on the rug and

33:19

I'm like, it's okay, I love

33:21

you. And if another dog pees,

33:23

I'm like, is your dog not

33:25

potty train? Potty train your dog.

33:27

But I think it's like when

33:29

it's your child, like there's an

33:31

innate love that you have for

33:33

them that conquers all the challenges

33:35

and it doesn't mean that it

33:37

erases the challenges. In terms of

33:39

your relationship, you hear people, it

33:41

is hard to navigate those times

33:43

in your sleep list and you

33:46

have this new baby that you're

33:48

caring for and you're tired and

33:50

your like patients is limited, but

33:52

making time for each other to

33:54

make sure that you stay connected.

33:56

And it might be a few

33:58

hard years, but you come back

34:00

to each other and I assume

34:02

that it makes you stronger when

34:04

you come back to each other.

34:06

I also just feel like though,

34:08

I think that I think that

34:10

normalizing the conversation of like, it's

34:13

okay to not have kids as

34:15

well. For sure. Totally, but I

34:17

do think like there's a lot

34:19

of negativity around becoming. No, but

34:21

there's also a lot of negativity

34:23

around people who say they don't

34:25

want to have kids. But she

34:27

said she's always thought she would

34:29

be. Yeah, but maybe it changed.

34:31

Totally, but I'm just saying I

34:33

also feel there's a lot of

34:35

negativity around becoming a mom and

34:37

I don't I think that it

34:40

should be also the positives should

34:42

be praised. And I also think

34:44

yeah, if you look at all

34:46

these things and you go, I

34:48

don't want it that bad. Like

34:50

being a mom isn't doesn't trump

34:52

these things that I'm scared that

34:54

I'm scared of. Yeah, it's okay

34:56

to also not want to have

34:58

kids. Like I've I've navigated these

35:00

feelings back and forth so much,

35:02

especially the past few years, because

35:04

unfortunately there is a time clock,

35:07

you know, the clock is ticking

35:09

biologically. But I think that there's

35:11

so much beauty in both decisions,

35:13

but I just want to, I

35:15

wouldn't not have kids based on

35:17

the negative experiences that others are

35:19

having. Yeah, you can't. And also

35:21

what I said is from a

35:23

dad's perspective a mother child bond

35:25

is that much more powerful. Yes,

35:27

yeah Just you wait None of

35:29

these concerns you have now will

35:31

exist when you're holding your baby

35:34

Wow They might I mean I've

35:36

talked to some people that you

35:38

know, it's I think postpartum is

35:40

gnarly. Well, that's true. That's a

35:42

whole other conversation. There's that's the

35:44

thing like I think that people

35:46

are finally talking about things post-partum

35:48

like anxiety and intrusive thoughts and

35:50

things that we never heard anyone

35:52

talk about so I think there's

35:54

I get the the hesitation around

35:56

just jumping into it now because

35:58

there's it's important to think about

36:01

things but it's also yeah home

36:03

loans are so gnarly yeah like

36:05

when I think about myself in

36:07

my luteal phase I'm like and

36:09

that's just my luteal phase wow

36:11

my wife had our oldest alley

36:13

without any drugs. Not intentionally. for

36:15

an epidural and it didn't take.

36:17

There was a trainee on staff

36:19

that night. Yeah. And then they

36:21

brought her into the delivery room

36:23

without any thing. So straight, raw

36:25

docked it. Damage was done down

36:28

below in the process. She had

36:30

broken blood vessels all around each

36:32

eye. Like she went through it.

36:34

And when she held Ali, the

36:36

first thing she said to me

36:38

was, it was all worth it.

36:40

And it's been 18 years, and

36:42

she would say the exact same

36:44

thing. So, yeah. And people keep

36:46

doing it. So you know that

36:48

there's, the love erases the pain

36:50

and the torture. Like, because people

36:52

go, I remember I've had, I

36:55

had a friend who was like,

36:57

I'll never do it again. The

36:59

pregnancy was horrible, the, you know,

37:01

everything about it. How'd another baby?

37:03

It's like your brain goes, wow,

37:05

there's something about it that people

37:07

go back for more. So there's

37:09

a testament to that. And it's

37:11

okay to choose a different path.

37:13

So I agree. Whatever you choose,

37:15

we're rooting for you. It's beautiful.

37:17

Life is beautiful. It is beautiful.

37:19

It's all about how you make

37:22

it. Yes. An email from Anonymous

37:24

and her sister-in-law is making up

37:26

lies, but we're going to get

37:28

to that when we come back.

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card. I'm

42:58

not taking a zimpic. You know what

43:00

I'd say? What? Did someone tell you

43:02

that I was on a zimpic? And

43:04

then she'd be like, what? Why? And

43:06

you'd be like, oh, someone on the

43:09

party mentioned that you said that I

43:11

was on a zimpic. I'm not taking

43:13

a zimpic. That's what I'd say. You

43:15

know, I just feel like. Nowadays we

43:18

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43:20

You can go on your Instagram and

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43:24

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weight. No shade on Ozumpic or Monjaro.

43:31

But like I did this 100%. That

43:33

feels like a lot of information. Whatever.

43:36

What I'm saying is like, if there's

43:38

being. That's passive aggressive. No, but like

43:40

who. People might be, not just the

43:42

sister-in-law, other people might be assuming that

43:44

she's on Ozemphic. So it's like if

43:47

you're upset about this narrative that's being

43:49

spread, it's probably not just coming from

43:51

your sister-in-law because I think that society

43:53

nowadays, if people loses a lot of

43:56

people, if someone loses a lot of

43:58

weight, everyone's first thought is Ozemic Monjaro.

44:00

And so it's... I think going to

44:02

your sister-in-law, personally, I just wouldn't, I

44:05

don't want to have conversations with my

44:07

sister, Monjaro, all the things, and if

44:09

that's not the narrative that you want

44:11

out there, then correct the narrative yourself

44:14

and take it into your own hands

44:16

and post a picture and say proud

44:18

of this, I did it without any

44:20

medication, like, whatever, you want to say,

44:22

but you can control the narrative in

44:25

passing, I'm just going to go on.

44:27

on her side and say she probably

44:29

wasn't doing it ill will. It seems

44:31

like she's done this before though, a

44:34

little. I don't know. If she is

44:36

bitchy and she is like that, then

44:38

confronting her is not gonna help the

44:40

situation. Yeah, see, I think the opposite,

44:43

because I think if you ask a

44:45

direct question, but you're not accusatory towards

44:47

her of just like, hey, did someone

44:49

tell you that I was on a

44:52

zimpic? I'm not, like I've done it

44:54

all naturally. I've done it, like I've

44:56

done it, like I've done it, like

44:58

I've done it, like I've done it,

45:01

like, like, like, like, like, like, like,

45:03

like, like, like, like, like, like, like,

45:05

like, like, like, like, like, like, like,

45:07

like, like, like, like, like, like, like,

45:09

like, like, like, like, like, like, And

45:12

maybe not, but I just think if

45:14

someone called me out on that, I'd

45:16

be like... You would not do that.

45:18

I think I would. As someone who

45:21

does not like confrontation, you would not

45:23

do that. I've been getting better about

45:25

my confrontation. Should the husband talk to

45:27

his brother? No, because what are they

45:30

gonna... No. Because what are they gonna...

45:32

No. Hey bro, my wife's not on

45:34

a zymphic. Tell your wife, stop talking

45:36

about my wife. And then he'd be

45:39

like, okay, and then you'd probably forget

45:41

to tell her. Okay, I'll let her

45:43

know tonight, bro. Yeah, and then tonight

45:45

comes and goes and he never says

45:47

anything. No, I forgot that word. Hey,

45:50

did you know that Sherry's on a

45:52

zymph? No, no, she's on a zymph.

45:54

And again, you go at it and

45:56

not accusatory way just like to let

45:59

her know that she's running her mouth.

46:01

Or you can go Tani's approach and

46:03

just post and say like, take control

46:05

of your own narrative. So grateful for

46:08

all the Pilates and running and no

46:10

Ozimpic or semi-glutite or monjaro. Yeah, no

46:12

or no medicine, no science. This is.

46:14

all natural. Whatever you want to say.

46:17

The bottom line is you look great.

46:19

The thing is, the thing is, people

46:21

are talking because you're having results. Yes.

46:23

And you know how you're doing it.

46:25

And regardless of if they're, regardless of

46:28

how you did or what you did,

46:30

if you feel great about yourself, that's

46:32

the important thing that you need to

46:34

focus on. If your sister-in-law is someone

46:37

who runs her mouth, then let her

46:39

run her mouth. Like if she's gonna

46:41

be that way, let her be that

46:43

way. Let them. I love take people

46:46

as they are. Take people as they

46:48

are. She's a blabbermouth. Having it not

46:50

bother you is a pretty good defense.

46:52

Just saying. Yeah, but also calling someone

46:55

out on their BS is a good.

46:57

Don't let people, don't let people talk

46:59

about you without having a conversation. All

47:01

right, do me a favorite. Do not

47:04

look at the next page. Because there's

47:06

a quiz for you guys. I already

47:08

heard of the Ozzy one. Yeah, I

47:10

saw it. I'm supposed to quiz you

47:12

on these and you already looked at

47:15

it. I didn't look at it, so

47:17

you can quiz me. Okay. Tony, do

47:19

you in Australian accent? Yeah, I read,

47:21

I read the prep when Sam sent

47:24

it. You want to do it? I

47:26

wouldn't either. Good day, Becca, Mrs. Yadagar.

47:28

Mark and Easton. My name is Sam

47:30

and I want to congratulate Tanya on

47:33

a recent nuptial, so thrilled for you.

47:35

Like many others, I love hearing the

47:37

origin stories, so here is mine. I

47:39

found scrubbing end during the longest, loneliest

47:42

lockdown days where Melbourne Australia had 112

47:44

days straight of lockdown, stay-at-home orders due

47:46

to the pandemic. Between Grace's anatomy and

47:48

the days of scrubbing in, somehow I

47:50

got by. I stumbled across the pod

47:53

and then listened to the back catalog

47:55

and was hooked listening to every episode

47:57

from then until now, and have now

47:59

begun re-listening to fill in between waiting

48:02

for new episodes to drop. Wow, Sam,

48:04

that's great. My favorites are always the

48:06

chit-chat between Becky, Tanya, Mark, and Easton.

48:08

You don't know it, but you've all

48:11

been there through some challenging days. The

48:13

lockdown COVID. days but from the end

48:15

of a relationship, the end of a

48:17

teaching career through mental burnout, relocating and

48:20

moving back in with my parents in

48:22

my 40s to start over again. Through

48:24

reinventions and reinvestments, I appreciate you all

48:26

alongside me through this crazy roller coaster

48:28

life. I love you all, keep up

48:31

the awesome work. Your authenticity, humor, softness,

48:33

friendship, and laughter is so infectious. Finally,

48:35

good on you, you're all a bunch

48:37

of rippers. And I hope to hear

48:40

in a future episode, then Mrs. Yadigar

48:42

has a bun in the oven, aka

48:44

preggers. I thought we could play a

48:46

fun game called Do You Know This

48:49

Australian slang? Love you all from Sam

48:51

all the way from Sam all the

48:53

way from the way from the land

48:55

down the land down the land down

48:58

the land down under the land down

49:00

under. them already. All right, Becca, what

49:02

is a Barbie? No, okay, I'm gonna

49:04

take over. Oh, the skewer? What's a

49:07

body? Is that a grill? Yes, very

49:09

good. What's a Mozie? I think maybe

49:11

just MOSI. MOSI. MOSI? MOSI-Z-Z-I-E-MOSI. A B?

49:13

No, slightly higher pitched. Oh, mosquito. Yes.

49:15

What about a muckas? McDonald's. Yes. What

49:18

about a dunnay? Am I doing a

49:20

good Australian accent? What was that one?

49:22

I doubt it. Can you do that

49:24

for Mark? Dunnay. Mark. Do you nn

49:27

and y. Dunnay. Dunnay. Dunnay. I would

49:29

never have guessed this in a million

49:31

years. Did you go to the Dunnay?

49:34

The dentist you should go

49:37

to the Denny before we

49:39

go on our trip. You

49:41

should go to the Denny

49:43

the store the shot them

49:46

all toilet. It's a long

49:48

car, right? Oh He's such

49:50

a bludger loser Close Duce

49:52

bag teeter? She's close enough

49:54

lazy person Okay. Oh, I

49:57

spill it. I spit the

49:59

dummy. Scottish? What's happening? Spit

50:01

the dummy. Spit the dummy?

50:03

Yeah. Someone spit the dummy.

50:06

Someone fell. Someone fell. Someone

50:08

fell. Someone? No. Drop the

50:10

bar. Robbie left his socks

50:12

on the floor and tiny

50:15

spit the dummy. Oh, she

50:17

freaked out. Got upset. She

50:19

got upset. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

50:21

Yeah. Let's go to Todd

50:24

Todd. I've heard this next

50:26

one faddinkum Yeah, it's okay.

50:28

It's not false, but it's

50:30

fadinkum It's not false, but

50:33

it's fadinkum It's not false.

50:35

It's true. Yes. Oh Wow

50:37

really let her a horse,

50:39

but uh Crickey Krikey. Shoot

50:42

like dang Oh my, like,

50:44

oh my god. Yeah, crazy,

50:46

crazy. Crazy. Um, dogs. Shoes?

50:48

No. Uh, talks? Well, you

50:51

go to the beach, make

50:53

sure you take your dogs.

50:55

Oh, your footpops. Your towels,

50:57

your bag, your swimsuit. Yes.

51:00

You swimsuit, yeah. That's nice,

51:02

Sam. Thank you for that.

51:04

That's so fun, great. Great

51:06

work, Tanya and Mark. I've

51:09

never been able to master

51:11

Australia. That's a really hard

51:13

one. It's a really hard

51:15

one. When I was there,

51:18

we went there for a

51:20

honeymoon, by the way, Sam.

51:22

Oh my gosh, wow. And

51:24

I had it down pretty

51:26

good when we were there,

51:29

but it's gone now. Sorry.

51:31

You should return. I should.

51:33

That's it. That's it. We're

51:35

going to go down under.

51:38

Love you all. It's like

51:40

British. Good day now. Goodbye

51:42

then. Yeah, Australian almost sounds

51:44

like a really thick southern

51:47

accent like there's a draw

51:49

or something to it that

51:51

got that great nar. I

51:53

love nor. I always say

51:56

nor Nor. Haley always goes

51:58

like I feel like you

52:00

could have like that you'd

52:03

have a good Australian

52:05

accident. I'm like all I can say

52:07

is more. And I don't even

52:09

know if I do that well.

52:11

But that's all for now. We

52:13

hope you have a wonderful

52:15

weekend. Enjoy the spring

52:17

weekend. Yes. Mid-April.

52:19

We love you so much. Bye. Love

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