Episode Transcript
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0:00
I think this is not the
0:02
game for Herb Street and Fowler
0:04
though. I do want Gus on
0:06
this one. Because Gus would
0:08
just be- That's a number
0:11
of moments they have not
0:13
been prepared to meet this
0:15
evening. Yeah. Gus, Gus at
0:17
this point would be talking
0:20
only the craziest salad. He
0:22
would have the most amazing
0:24
nicknames for Will Howard.
0:26
Like salad. Yeah. I call him
0:29
the salad man! Nissois Howard!
0:31
I call him the salad
0:34
shooter! That's pretty good,
0:36
Holly! I got really good
0:38
enough shots this year and
0:40
I don't know why. I
0:43
think it's one. I think
0:45
it's not like the East
0:48
Green Goblin. Tucks that ball
0:50
and runs. He's eating up
0:52
so much green grass. I
0:55
call him the salad eater!
0:57
So close the worm that
0:59
destroys cucumber Just Joe clat
1:02
next to him circling
1:04
Notre Dame had 14 men
1:06
on the field In the
1:08
faults of our hearts
1:10
and brains danger waves.
1:12
You gotta bring them all
1:15
The most stable elements Clarice
1:17
appear in the middle
1:19
of the periodic table
1:21
roughly between iron and
1:23
silver I call him
1:25
metamusile Howard because he keeps
1:27
the offense regular I like
1:30
Gus trying to impart drama
1:32
into Notre Dame's offense like
1:34
there's not even time for
1:36
a full Gus Johnson call
1:39
even on a successful Notre
1:41
Dame play Riley Lennar he
1:43
gained four yards Is there a
1:45
turnover? Do we have a turnover? Uh-oh.
1:48
Let us watch. We have jinxed
1:50
the buck eyes. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. All
1:52
right, let's see what happened. Hi,
1:55
first of all, hi everybody. Hi.
1:57
Welcome back to the forecast after
1:59
dark. brought to you by linked in we'll
2:01
do the real welcome in a second
2:04
but but LinkedIn remains it's not
2:06
actually the sponsors a hundred people
2:08
in here you can't all be going to
2:10
sleep come on now I know there's probably
2:13
more than a hundred I will
2:15
keep doing Gus Johnson as Hannibal
2:17
until morale improves surely there's far
2:19
more than a hundred We're just
2:21
gonna I'm only going by the counter on
2:23
the screen. I can't even see the counter
2:26
on the screen Yeah, I don't I don't
2:28
see the counter anymore. So wait, how do
2:30
I have admin privileges? That can't be right.
2:32
What which which one are you looking at?
2:34
I'm looking at the one on Streamyard
2:36
Huh, yeah, I don't see anything so it's all
2:38
right. If you are here at congratulations. This
2:41
is where The information about the
2:43
offworld shuttle will be released only
2:45
to listeners of Fullcast After Dark.
2:48
All else? Consigned to the dying
2:50
earth. But here on Full Gas
2:52
After Dark, we escaped to the
2:54
stars. Would they have you back,
2:56
you think? The FBI? Which
3:00
you get in the capsule
3:02
the shiny capsule the beautiful
3:05
perfect leaming. So what do
3:07
you think Joel does lector
3:09
want a fucker or killer
3:12
either alive? Wait, that's mason
3:14
verger shit It's probably a
3:16
little bit of both Gus All
3:18
right you want to start the
3:21
show? Yeah, you know what last
3:23
last last run last run for
3:25
the 2024 25 season. We get
3:27
the cleared up here Forecaste
3:48
afterward for
3:51
men. Brought
3:53
to you
3:55
by rise
3:58
picks. Who? full
4:00
cast
4:02
after dark
4:04
Catholic room
4:07
buckeye noises hey okay
4:09
you think
4:12
you think gargoyles are ever sad
4:14
they can't look back at it cuz
4:17
they got some haunches I've been a
4:19
lot about Notre Dame and Notre Dame
4:21
are you sure that they can't because they're pretty
4:23
fine they're made of fucking rocks get in the
4:25
game as far as you know until we're
4:27
not looking and then they come to
4:29
life Ryan this isn't the Christmas toy
4:31
they protect us by moving
4:34
yeah and how
4:36
could they have all that ass if
4:38
they couldn't get the gym practice
4:40
squatting I was thinking of gargoyles a
4:42
good three technique yeah like you want
4:44
them up there on in the trenches
4:46
all right I'm sorry I lashed
4:48
out Ryan I'm not sorry for lashing
4:50
out at anybody else ever
4:52
they put their whole gargussy
4:55
into that one the attack
4:57
comes not from the front
4:59
but from the side thank
5:01
you pastor Spencer where are
5:03
we in this football game
5:05
which is still happening it
5:07
is changing somewhat rapidly as we
5:09
speak yeah hi I'm hi
5:11
I'm Spencer Hall and I
5:13
am their conversion watching the
5:15
other day passing the college football
5:17
playoff national championship there are 13
5:19
minutes and 54 seconds left in the
5:21
fourth quarter and Notre Dame is
5:23
losing to the Ohio State Buckeyes by
5:26
a score of 31 to 15
5:28
and Riley Leonard just did something bold
5:30
but he is not done all
5:32
night long which is he completed a
5:34
pass downfield this is shortly
5:37
after Notre Dame
5:39
got their first defensive stop of
5:41
the game with a fumble
5:43
recovery they had not stopped Ohio
5:45
State from scoring when they
5:47
had the ball any time during
5:49
the first three quarters which when
5:51
you look at other instances
5:54
of blowout national
5:56
championship games and everybody
5:58
gets at least one stop not earlier
6:00
than that. Even TCU against Georgia,
6:02
13 -30 in the third quarter. They
6:04
got their first stop. They held Georgia
6:06
to no points. I think that
6:08
Notre Dame's first drive of this game
6:10
counts stop. Should count as a
6:12
stop? Yeah. OK. Sure. It was more
6:15
than just an offensive drive. It
6:17
was all three phases, even though them
6:19
Until that fumble recovery, it was certainly their
6:21
most effective defense. Yes. It certainly
6:23
stopped Riley Leonard's digestive process.
6:25
It was an audio book
6:27
-ass drive. I think Bubba
6:30
Prog said, sorry, excuse me,
6:32
Tim Burke, let's use his
6:34
government name -free Bubba Prog, said
6:36
that it was longer than all but
6:38
two of Armies' drives this season, which
6:41
if that doesn't put it in perspective. It
6:43
was stirring. I'll give it that.
6:45
It was. And then after
6:48
that, nothing. You got nothing until
6:50
this last score. Until now.
6:52
Yeah, until now. Which, OK, so
6:54
we started, we don't usually
6:56
start after dark in the middle
6:58
of the national championship game,
7:00
mostly because that's not the national championship game
7:02
that's been played most weeks. Although if we
7:04
had been doing this the last time Notre
7:06
Dame played in a national championship game, we
7:09
probably would have. That's fair. Could have
7:11
started the second quarter, actually. But we are
7:13
either about to watch one of
7:15
the most stunning
7:17
collapses in college football history
7:19
if Ohio State doesn't win
7:21
this game, which is
7:23
more on the table than I think we thought it
7:25
was. We said, OK, time to go set up. Or
7:29
Notre Dame is just providing, is going to
7:31
do that thing where it's like, oh, we
7:33
showed just enough to make you think we could
7:35
have won this game that, realistically, we were
7:37
never going to win. I
7:40
think that the main thing is Ryan
7:42
Day should be fired. Yeah.
7:46
Immediately. This is just unacceptable. letting
7:48
this team back in the game like this. Get
7:51
his ass out of here. It is weird
7:54
that Ohio State's only up two scores. Yeah.
7:58
Like, that's weird considering. what
8:00
we've watched. They've basically
8:02
doubled them up in
8:04
yardage until the last player
8:07
too. And doubled them up
8:09
in points to be fair
8:11
technically sure I guess that
8:13
math doesn't quite work out
8:15
but yeah it definitely feels
8:17
like a lot more than
8:19
this. This is setting up
8:21
one of the funnier things
8:24
that could happen. Fourth down
8:26
conversion. Yes the cardiac Irish!
8:28
Fire him! The cardiac Irish, which
8:30
you know... Get LeBron down there,
8:33
he's in the building. He can
8:35
save this. Brought to you by carry
8:37
gold. Yeah, I am... The thing
8:39
that might happen that would be
8:42
the funniest possible thing would be
8:44
for Ryan Day to win this
8:46
and then immediately cut a passionate
8:49
promo against his own fan
8:51
base. I mean, just... Great idea!
8:53
Yeah, that would be... Don't steal.
8:55
Don't steal. Who said that first?
8:57
Holly said it! The other thing
9:00
that is delightful about this is
9:02
that Ryan Day. Ryan Day still has
9:04
to coach Ohio State. He does it. That's
9:06
not true. He can take the Raiders
9:08
job. He can take the Jags job.
9:11
Jags job. He could take the
9:13
Saints job. New Orleans Saints head
9:15
coach Ryan Day. Swirl that around in
9:17
your mouth for a little bit. Let me
9:19
know how it tastes. He could go be
9:21
the Lions OSI. He could go be the
9:23
Lions OSI. He's gonna have to
9:25
find some water fast hair solutions.
9:28
Which one of those is the,
9:30
like, which honestly, at this point,
9:32
given his current level of
9:34
misery, which one of those
9:36
absolutely fucking cursed jobs? Raiders.
9:38
Raiders. Yeah. They had the worst
9:41
quarterback situation in the league. Yeah.
9:43
Their pick isn't that great. His
9:45
boss is Tom fucking Brady. Yeah.
9:47
Don't take the raider's job unless
9:49
you just like money, but he
9:51
already makes more there. Nothing about
9:53
Ryan Day is like, oh he
9:55
looks like living in Las Vegas
9:57
would really suit him. That might
9:59
destroy him. What is he, okay,
10:01
what if he quit to just
10:03
retire? He's rich. That's what
10:05
all these guys should do. Yeah.
10:07
Once you have $10 million in
10:10
a trophy, get the fuck out.
10:12
Yeah, but you know, if you, in
10:14
Nevada, you know, it's a manageable
10:16
income tax. You got 10 million,
10:19
huh? You could turn that into
10:21
20 million. I was gonna say
10:23
brother! And then you got 20
10:26
million, pooh, now it's house money.
10:28
So you might as well gamble
10:30
it all. So you might as
10:33
well. This is going to be
10:35
another important chapter in the shutdown
10:38
full cast upcoming business treatise. Business
10:40
Prison. Which we wrote over the
10:42
years. So is this DLC? Is
10:45
business casino an expansion? Yeah, yeah,
10:47
yeah. It is. It's also, it
10:49
tells you how to take the
10:51
casino that you run out of
10:53
the toilet of your small prison
10:55
cell and expand it to the
10:57
biggest toilet of all. the real world.
11:00
I love the lore that
11:02
you're building in these. These
11:04
books have just got to
11:06
be such minimal effort. So
11:08
this expansion kit, you know, it's
11:11
like 20 pages, just like.
11:13
A.I. Spute. Business. Business never changes. But
11:15
somehow it expands the law by unlocking
11:17
a second location. I have a pipe
11:19
dream of writing this and then getting
11:22
people to endorse it with quotes and
11:24
seeing if we can get Lane Kiffin
11:26
to endorse it on his Instagram. Oh,
11:29
I bet we can get it. It
11:31
wouldn't be hard. We just got to
11:33
write it on a rock. Rudy
11:35
Rutiger would be in for this. Just
11:38
like, here's how we do it. Just put
11:40
like proverb 74 74 38. below it
11:42
and he'll he'll say stirring
11:44
that's what he'll say moving
11:46
is Notre Dame going to go
11:48
for this fourth and gold falco
11:51
they have to right yeah nine
11:53
minutes I got like like being
11:55
60 and I guess not okay
11:57
never mind okay now now they're
12:00
within two touchdowns. I don't
12:02
think being down 13 is
12:04
significantly better than being down
12:06
16, but sure. Sure, man. Yeah, I guess.
12:08
Okay, Marcus, this feels
12:11
like a defensive coordinator
12:13
call. That's what this feels like.
12:15
A little bit. Yeah. Yeah. We'll
12:17
get the ball back. That's always
12:19
stops. Oh God. Most irritating thing
12:21
to me at all. Yeah, oh
12:23
my god. You guys are just
12:25
far enough ahead of me to
12:27
where you say this and I
12:29
can look up and see it.
12:31
Thank you. He thought it
12:33
was a Rita ball. That
12:36
guy was going to take
12:38
it back off. Yeah, man,
12:40
they wore their good helmets
12:42
and everything. Man, Marcus, okay,
12:44
Marcus Freeman has kept up a
12:46
great, like, You know, the very, I mean,
12:48
that doesn't work at all, but we've
12:50
been mixing up Western Europe all week.
12:52
He's got this very stiff upper lip
12:54
thing going. Even though that's British, not
12:57
French, but as you said, all of
12:59
Europe is the same. And when that, don't
13:01
hit and they cut to him, you could see
13:03
the light dim in his eyes just a little
13:05
bit. And I haven't seen it do
13:07
that all year. And there it goes.
13:09
Because something, something real stupid could still
13:12
happen could still happen. When you
13:14
are down 16 points in the
13:16
national championship game. It's not time
13:18
to do the like responsible thing.
13:20
It's not time to be like just
13:22
the, take the points and continue
13:24
on in your pursuit. It's, it's
13:26
time to do cool shit. Okay? You
13:29
already tried a fake punt that didn't
13:31
work. Commit to the cool shit.
13:33
Short feel goal on fourth and goal
13:35
is not cool shit. I think it's pretty
13:37
cool because that ball hit the fuck out
13:40
of the post. You saw it hit... I
13:42
like I like when it hit the post
13:44
it just frozen. It is. It is. There
13:46
is a scenario here where say Notre Dame
13:49
does get a stop or two and gets
13:51
a touchdown or two. There's a scenario where
13:53
Joel Anderson was right during our live show
13:55
when he hypothesized that Marcus Freeman could become
13:57
the first, the next coach to lose. is
14:00
a national title by settling for
14:02
a field goal. That scenario is
14:04
on the table. Okay, we do
14:06
have something to live for. So
14:08
wouldn't that be something? There
14:11
is a on-the-field correspondent,
14:13
our anonymous on-the-field correspondent
14:16
sent me some fascinating
14:18
information that in this
14:21
particular arrangement of fans at
14:23
the stadium, Ohio states two
14:25
super fans, the diametrically opposed
14:28
good saintly wholesome. uh... big
14:30
nut he is in one corner of
14:32
the stadium they separated
14:34
him and on the exact opposite
14:36
corner is the evil bad loathed
14:38
buck eye way i thought one
14:41
of those guys was dead am
14:43
i thinking of the georgia version
14:45
you're thinking of the georgia guy
14:47
thank you okay yeah which one
14:49
crashes few crashes few crashes
14:52
funerals that was the buck eye
14:54
guy thank you yes Yeah. I
14:56
have met both of them and
14:59
I have to say, completely accurate
15:01
reading, Buckeye Guy, loads, big nut,
15:04
pretty cool. He's all right, sorry
15:06
with me. Inside you, there
15:08
are two nuts. Yes.
15:10
Wait, wait, wait, wait,
15:12
wait, wait, wait. Thanks,
15:14
thanks to Port Hub's
15:16
restrictions. Most of you
15:19
won't be able to
15:21
find out anymore. This
15:23
show has made me
15:25
ponder physics questions that
15:27
I think otherwise never
15:29
would have occurred to me.
15:31
I'm going to throw this
15:34
question open to the
15:36
commenters as well. Where does
15:38
the funding come for a Buckeye
15:40
guy or a big nut? This is
15:42
not a like... They're an NGO,
15:45
right? Is that what it is?
15:47
Do you think it's like the
15:49
Corporation for Public Broadcasting? Yeah.
15:52
Is throwing them $500,000? So
15:54
they give an aisle? Are either
15:56
of them technically a farm or
15:59
a state? Wait, can we tell
16:01
this story while we're here and
16:03
doing nothing? Can we tell the
16:05
story about the funeral and whichever
16:08
one of them that was? Because
16:10
I'm sure not everybody in the
16:12
audience knows about that. Okay, hold on.
16:15
No, Spencer, you know it, don't you?
16:17
Yeah, this is the story of Buckeye
16:19
Guy at former Ohio State Coach.
16:21
Earl Bruce's funeral there was
16:23
a card that was gonna be from
16:26
no it wasn't a car it was
16:28
a photo I'm sorry it's photo like
16:30
signed photo like one of those big
16:32
photos yeah and it's like a condolence
16:35
photo right where everybody who showed up
16:37
from this team was gonna sign it
16:39
from the team and they were gonna
16:41
sign it and hand it to Earl's
16:43
family and guy just showed up and
16:45
signed it just sauntered up and signed
16:48
it like like he was a player
16:50
like he was a fucking You can
16:52
still see a photo here. I'll drop
16:54
it in hold on. I'll drop it
16:56
in the chat here I thought it
16:58
was just that he showed up
17:00
at the funeral No, he was
17:02
he was he was basically posing
17:05
for like photo ops goodness
17:07
All right, and he charges for
17:09
him You can see in the in the
17:11
link that I have dropped in our
17:13
public chat and I will drop
17:15
it in our private chat as well
17:18
You can see a close-up of of
17:20
of here's the thing Bucki
17:22
Guy is obviously not
17:24
his birth certificate
17:27
name, but that is what
17:29
he wrote on this photo.
17:31
Love you coach that in the
17:33
middle of it is this dumb
17:35
ass. Some ass hole. Man like
17:38
right at the ear too. Yes.
17:40
Prime realist. Yeah, he didn't
17:42
like he didn't be like
17:44
you know what I'm gonna
17:47
pick like a subtle corner.
17:49
With I gotta say some.
17:51
inconsistent handwriting that
17:53
if I got a handwritten note
17:56
in it would make from a
17:58
neighbor would make me pause about
18:00
speaking to that neighbor in the
18:02
laundry room. It's just, throw the
18:04
police off the set. They must
18:06
never know the real identity of
18:09
Buckeye guy. I like that, the
18:11
idea that, you know, like, the
18:13
special agent would have to go
18:16
to Big Nut and be like,
18:18
you know, as he's in the
18:20
asylum in his silver straight jacket
18:23
and then be like, tell me
18:25
what you know about Buckeye guy.
18:27
It's like, first, a question for
18:30
you agent. The solid regard play.
18:32
Thank you David
18:35
Roy for introducing
18:37
the phrase, with
18:39
your government name
18:42
via LinkedIn, long-time
18:45
listener David Roy,
18:47
for invoking the
18:50
phrase notorious glistening
18:53
affairs with Matthew
18:55
Lesco. Thank you.
18:57
Oh, here comes another Notre Dame stop.
19:00
Man. Oh, oh, okay. Six thirty
19:02
four to go. For a field
19:04
goal. I smell another field gold
19:06
drive coming up. Chris Paul hits
19:09
three to walk down 62. My
19:11
OECD is telling me, you gotta kick
19:13
one on the right pole now. You
19:16
gotta kick one off the right up,
19:18
right? The left one's been touched. You
19:20
gotta touch the right one. Gotta
19:22
balance it out. This is where,
19:25
this is where. The long proposed rule
19:27
back in EDSPS days of if
19:29
you kick a ball and you hit
19:31
both uprights in the crossbar, you
19:33
win the game? Mm-hmm. Because like
19:36
Notre Dame could have been spending
19:38
this entire time like trying
19:40
to get a specialty kick
19:42
lined up and less time
19:44
running Riley Leonard into big guys
19:46
that make him barf. That drive is
19:48
so sick though. It was awesome. Oh, I
19:50
loved it. I know he was sick as
19:53
well, but that drive was awesome. No, he
19:55
was he was made sick by the sickness
19:57
of that drive. That's when you know
19:59
it's good. By the way, oh, oh,
20:01
sorry I asked I did
20:03
some reporting after that happened
20:06
and I texted an
20:08
on-the-scene member of the
20:10
media who is a Former division
20:13
one football person and I
20:16
asked him what happens to
20:18
puke on turf? Huh because especially
20:20
in a dome right yeah because
20:22
in my head I'm like oh
20:24
surely they've got a shop vac or
20:26
so like a right or like some kind
20:28
of system I was imagining like
20:31
oh they hose it down real quick
20:33
and then they shop back up all
20:35
the puke liquid which is disgusting but
20:37
that's what shop vacs are for or
20:40
you know they throw sawdust down blah
20:42
blah blah and the response I got
20:44
was four words that will chill me
20:46
forever it is just there It's just
20:49
there and then and then
20:51
forwards second text message same
20:53
with dip spit Sure, it's like
20:55
all the dead people in P in
20:58
the ocean. It's just there. So Holly
21:00
what? What fluid do you like
21:02
if someone poops on the turf
21:04
or they're not just leaving
21:07
that there are they? I mean if
21:09
they're leaving Pew, I appreciate that you
21:11
led this question with my name. You're the
21:13
one with the sources here. Yeah. All right.
21:15
Hang on. I'm going to ask. Let's see
21:17
if we. The game is closer to the
21:19
end. So I'm not sure where he's at
21:21
right now. Let me see if it.
21:23
Again. Thanks to porn hub restrictions,
21:26
you won't be able to Google
21:28
this one the old-fashioned way. I
21:30
mean... That's why you need to
21:32
log in to be a member. If
21:35
they don't consider vomit to be
21:37
a health hazard, let alone like
21:39
a traction hazard. Sure. I can't
21:41
think that shit would be considered
21:44
a hazard. Right, poop is probably
21:46
fine. Unless you like make a
21:48
GA pick it up, but what
21:50
if it's liquid, right? The steadiest...
21:52
platform on all of the
21:54
internet. But it's not next season,
21:56
Spencer. It's this season. And
21:59
who is the fault? Who is forecast
22:01
after dark brought to you
22:03
by this season? I'm ready. I'm
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Yeah, that's all you need to
22:53
know. Yeah, this is this is
22:55
the year as soon as I saw
22:57
Josh Allen clapping like a
23:00
seal like a human gold
23:02
retriever in the back
23:04
of the room during Sean
23:07
McDermott's 9-11 inspired post game
23:09
speech Where he said y'all
23:12
got after it like Mohammedata.
23:14
Yeah, he might have no
23:17
plausibly might have I did
23:19
like that our friend of
23:22
the program Victoria pointed out
23:24
that Josh Allen, it looks like
23:26
Arthur Morgan when you don't eat
23:28
when you don't groom him at
23:30
this point. Yeah, when you hit
23:33
him with the hair tonic, Arthur's
23:35
sick. I just I don't want
23:37
to make him fuss over himself
23:39
when he feels sick. Make him
23:42
comfortable and put him in the
23:44
finest threads because I want him
23:46
to know Arthur Morgan did that
23:48
shit on. Arthur is okay you
23:50
can do this mission in your
23:53
sweats. That's Josh Allen. And
23:55
like Arthur Morgan you know what
23:57
he's out there doing? Killing it.
24:00
more down in beans more bills
24:02
more James Cook tables more
24:04
more more more I just
24:06
need more time Dutch oh
24:08
my god there go the
24:11
Irish back inside the 30
24:13
this is setting up a
24:15
thrilling field goal Riley Leonard
24:17
more more carries Riley Leonard
24:19
bonking into people that's right
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you know what? The full cast lets
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them know you're sexy. That's right. And
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it's always sexy somewhere. It's always dark
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somewhere. Yeah, that's right. So it's always
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full cast dark to get $50 instantly
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after you play your first $5 dollar
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lineup. Prize picks. Run your game.
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Flawless ad read so this is
25:08
gonna this is gonna be Ohio
25:10
State wins I'm speculating here Ohio
25:13
State wins But didn't dominate the
25:15
second half the way people wanted
25:17
them to and it's like oh
25:19
god. He's full shit. Oh Yeah,
25:21
absolutely doesn't have the right mentality
25:23
piece of crap. Hate him Right?
25:25
Really suspect. I mean, when you look
25:27
at how this game is playing out,
25:29
it reminds me of the shape of
25:31
their regular season, right? Just started hot,
25:33
lots of nice big numbers, and everything's
25:35
going really great, really fine, and then
25:38
it just all goes to shit at
25:40
the end, you know? That's what I
25:42
think of when I think of 2024
25:44
Ohio State, and that's this game. Kind
25:46
of really doesn't matter, you know, having
25:48
a good score, and... Winning a bunch
25:50
of games and all that if you can't get
25:52
if if the thing that happens at the very
25:54
end is bad It just ruins the whole rest
25:56
of it. It's true. That's true. It
25:59
doesn't mean anything That's really
26:01
sad. What do you guys
26:03
want to talk about?
26:05
Besides firing any day?
26:07
How does Spencer get
26:10
to sigh there? He's he
26:12
is the weariest in some
26:14
ways. It's not earned, but
26:16
it is true. It's not
26:18
a deserved weariness. Sure.
26:21
Listen, think about it
26:23
this way, Holly. It's
26:25
hard to be around
26:27
Spencer, but... He has to be
26:30
around Spencer all the time. Spence
26:32
has actually cited this defense
26:34
before. Like we get a
26:36
break. No one's readier for
26:38
the destruction of me than me.
26:40
Right? Like hammer of God? Yeah,
26:43
bring it. That's awesome. I don't
26:45
have to be me anymore. He
26:47
can't even go to somebody else
26:49
and be like, God, I had
26:51
to fucking deal with Spencer today.
26:53
Like, that won't work. No. Y'all
26:55
think is bad out there. In here.
26:58
In here. You should hear it. What's
27:00
it sound like? It
27:02
sounds like somebody
27:04
going more. More. More.
27:07
I assume it sounds
27:09
like the tall shelves
27:11
in a Costco dominoing
27:13
one another over
27:16
but slowly. It's just
27:18
like, bang! Yeah,
27:20
well, like the
27:22
theme of the
27:25
1970s or 1980s,
27:27
so Poppera is
27:29
playing behind it.
27:32
Yeah, that's it.
27:34
No word, bang!
27:36
Actually, the song
27:39
that plays over
27:41
this is
27:43
Splendido from
27:45
Price's Right. The
27:48
thing I would want to talk about is
27:50
this, that in the entire college football playoff,
27:52
of which I am pretty neutral in
27:54
terms of having an overall like positive
27:56
or negative. Wow, it's important to
27:58
have big feelings. one version of this
28:01
I have no improvements for you other
28:03
than maybe fuck with the seating a
28:05
little bit the thing that I would
28:07
take away from it is this that
28:10
the best game was the one that
28:12
one of the games that nobody
28:14
wanted because of the seating
28:16
that's right Arizona State Texas
28:18
was the best god damn game
28:20
in this playoff it was so
28:22
good and it was such a
28:24
great script and such a showcase
28:26
for The badest ass player in
28:28
all of the playoff. I know,
28:30
there's real mutants out there. Another
28:33
puke guy. Yeah, another puke
28:35
guy, another boot, the boot and
28:37
rally master. Campscadaboo.
28:39
Like, that whole game was just
28:42
fucking great. Yeah, but where
28:44
where pukemas- Oh shit! Touch some
28:46
other day! Right in front of
28:48
Brutus! In your face Brutus! Nasty
28:50
PI too, God dang! God, Jason's
28:53
gonna be right. This feel- Don't
28:55
feel goal is gonna be the
28:57
just- Don't- Oh, whatever's gonna
29:00
happen on this two-point conversion
29:02
is gonna be the stupidest
29:04
shit you've ever seen. Cousin
29:06
Joel is wise. He always
29:09
is. Except the part where
29:11
he got on stage with the full
29:13
cast, that part. You know,
29:15
professionally. That was a setback on
29:18
the way to an achievement. That's
29:20
true, I think. That's true. God, Ryan
29:22
Day looks so nervous right now. Like,
29:25
when do you look at Ryan Day
29:27
and think he's not thinking, God, I
29:29
want to die? I want to die
29:32
so bad that I'm too... I can't
29:34
let go of this mortal coil. Have,
29:36
uh, have any of you driven
29:38
a child who is prone to
29:41
being car sick? Yeah. He has
29:43
the look of somebody who's
29:45
like, it's been 40
29:47
minutes and I'm like,
29:49
we gotta get there.
29:51
This is not gonna
29:53
keep working. Oh, Jesus,
29:55
this two-point conversion is
29:57
perfect! It's perfect! It's
29:59
perfect! Notre Dame is we're going to
30:01
touch down. OK, listen. Listen, I looked
30:03
up for the last half second of
30:05
this, but what my eyes saw was
30:08
him throwing the two point conversion while
30:10
running backwards away towards the other end
30:12
zone. No, your eyes do not deceive
30:14
you. Oh, Lou Holtz is up there.
30:16
This might kill him. Lou Holtz wearing
30:18
a hat that says 88. All right.
30:20
Cool. Normal. Where's the 14? Yeah.
30:24
Lou, maybe it's on the back.
30:26
Oh, OK. Well, him gave tight buttholes.
30:28
Everyone. See, this is why we
30:30
logged on, y 'all, because we knew
30:32
that drama was a flip. Also, for
30:34
those of you who keep saying
30:36
that we did this during Bamba Clemson
30:39
game, false. The halftime Bamba Clemson
30:41
game was something that we had pre
30:43
-planned because we had guests. And then
30:45
we just kept going into the
30:47
third quarter, which is when the fun
30:49
shit happened. So OK. Yeah. Damn.
30:51
I maintained I was still right. That's
30:54
the dumbest shit I've ever seen
30:56
in my life. telling us what the
30:58
actual 88 means. Thank you. Do
31:00
you want to explain any more of
31:02
my fucking jokes to me? Yeah.
31:04
Yeah, we know. Thank you. Thank you
31:06
for your guidance. I'll think time.
31:09
I wouldn't have called out the 88
31:11
if it had been on a
31:13
hat worn by anyone, but Lou Holtz.
31:15
So this was a 31 -7 game
31:17
how long ago? Let me go
31:19
look. Like, you know, when we started
31:21
this pretty much. Or at least
31:24
when we logged on to start this.
31:26
I think we should make it
31:28
clear we're joking about Lou Holtz. But
31:30
the bastard Lou Holtz should be
31:32
jailed. what are we joking? Wait, in
31:34
what way are we joking about
31:36
Lou Holtz? No, like, yeah, no, we're
31:39
not. Like, it's really sound like
31:41
it. it's dead. Yeah. Lou Holtz should
31:43
be turned out into the West
31:45
like a judge in the Judge Dredd
31:47
universe who has expired and done
31:49
his time. I'm sorry, Doug. Doug, I
31:51
need you to unmute and confirm
31:53
that what you're saying in our private
31:56
chat is correct. According to you,
31:58
producer Doug is here, everyone. Give him
32:00
a hand. ESPN has the win
32:02
probability at 96 .8 % Ohio State right.
32:04
Is that correct? Yes, that is correct. As of right now, I'm staring
32:06
at it. 96? 96? 96.8. Okay, okay. For now. Okay. Yeah, yeah,
32:08
damn. Yeah, it's only, it's only,
32:11
it's only gone down 5%.
32:13
Everybody's just reading out
32:15
fluctuating numbers from their app.
32:17
This is the best comment
32:19
section we've had all year.
32:22
I need you to call
32:24
out, I need you to
32:26
call out what's gonna happen
32:28
on this drive. who were born
32:30
in 1988. Okay. Since we're just
32:33
doing, that's litter, we're
32:35
just doing word association.
32:37
We, guess what? We've
32:39
become podcasting at Play Nobody.
32:41
The marriage of numbers and
32:43
words. Next thing you're gonna tell me
32:45
SMU has bad politics. This is it.
32:47
This is it. We're trying to get
32:49
into a blues guy comment section live
32:52
on here. Oh, it's red. It's red.
32:54
Ooh, I had a good one tonight.
32:56
I posted something. Oh, well, we were
32:58
talking about, because, you know, your boy
33:00
Anthony Mackey showed up. And I said
33:02
something to the effective, more like the
33:05
worst venture. And then I immediately
33:07
apologized because calling anybody else the
33:09
worst of injury is Hawkeye Erasure.
33:11
And then some dude jumped into
33:13
my mentions and was like... Actually
33:16
Hawkeye is Kate Bishop now, the
33:18
title doesn't hold. And I thought that
33:20
was going to be the worst thing
33:22
that happened to me tonight, but the
33:24
dude after him just posted a
33:26
picture of the Iowa Hawkeye's mascot.
33:28
Like that's... This is also Hawkeye. Yeah,
33:31
yeah. Upies, Mommy! The total, that's a
33:33
total gridcoat move. Who's that? Guy who's
33:35
only seen one thing in its college
33:37
football, getting a lot of college football
33:39
vibes from this. I just I need
33:41
what I need and I don't have
33:44
because I search the app for it
33:46
for like 10 minutes is a really
33:48
good high-res gift of jangling keys that
33:50
I can just post back at these
33:52
people. Because I feel like it'll keep
33:55
them entertained long enough for me to move
33:57
on with my life. Maybe we could just
33:59
record one. Yeah, yeah. Is
34:02
you're the man now, dog? Still up? Could
34:04
you just send them there? I feel like
34:06
that would work. We'd bring it back. I'm
34:08
getting strong Sean Connery vibes from this. We
34:10
got to run that back. You
34:16
know, instead of saying badger, badger, badger,
34:18
badger, badger, badger, you could just say badgers.
34:20
That's the plural form of the
34:22
noun. This reminds me of my
34:24
favorite novel, Finding Forester. What's
34:29
it about, Ryan? It's
34:31
still up. Yeah. It's still up.
34:34
Oh my god. The internet
34:36
is not dead. The
34:38
internet's still good. I'll be on Homestar,
34:40
run her for this Oh,
34:46
man. Yeah, we're going to
34:48
watch. OK, cool. We're going to watch.
34:50
I'll have state really just try to like be
34:52
like, please, just try to fart away the
34:54
clock. Just just just kill. Fart
34:56
away the clock. He's
35:02
wearing gray pants. So if Notre Dame somehow
35:04
scores again, you're going to be able
35:06
to see the poop stain just spread on
35:08
the back of Ryan Day's pants. By
35:10
the way, I have not heard back from
35:12
my my text to a professional grown
35:15
man of what if they shit on the
35:17
sideline? I hope that he has left
35:19
his poop. I hope he's left his phone
35:21
somewhere where other people can see this.
35:23
And you just keep you just keep asking
35:25
like urgent need to know like hurry.
35:27
Please hold on. Hold on. Maybe maybe they
35:29
don't know. And that's why Beva wasn't
35:32
allowed to go to the SEC championship game is
35:34
you're like, we don't know what to do with that. We
35:37
was never. Oh my god, we haven't. There's no protocol
35:39
in place. This is this
35:41
would apply that Falcons joke, but this
35:43
is a happy place. Yeah, whatever.
35:45
Oh, Riley, don't eat that. I think this
35:47
this Ryan is a good theory, but it
35:49
would imply that puddles has never shat a
35:51
sideline. Oh, listen.
35:53
What do we think? What do we think?
35:56
Like the viscosity of puddles poop is similar.
35:58
Have you met? I mean, is it? duck
36:00
poop yeah I don't know that's
36:02
a nightmare it's got to be just
36:04
a huge mound of duck poop I guess
36:06
it depends on how much you're willing to
36:08
how much of that okay how much of
36:10
that undercarriage is is hollow I guess is
36:12
the first question probably more
36:14
than you want like where's the
36:16
hole no like like how much
36:18
of the of the interior
36:21
of the ducks
36:23
undercarriage and and tail
36:25
is like solid fluff and
36:27
how much of it is
36:29
a vessel for storing feces
36:31
like how many what's the
36:34
organ capacity in there thank you
36:36
ab steel for asking the
36:38
real question which I'm gonna
36:40
post pin to the
36:42
chat correct yep so
36:49
I don't I
36:51
think we might
36:53
be the best
36:55
part about the
36:57
phrase does puddles
36:59
have a cloaca
37:01
is organ fans are gonna
37:03
say it's not puddles actually
37:06
the duck has
37:08
a cloaca actually the
37:10
duck has a
37:12
clue listen who's dumber us
37:15
for saying puddles are you for saying the
37:17
ducks I think we're all dumb I'm
37:19
not gonna stop doing this voice until
37:21
y 'all the fuck out I know
37:23
the tree I know the tree is
37:25
cloaca is an entirely different conversation let's
37:27
go down this road we've
37:29
done this before I know the tree has tried it
37:31
the tree is like we haven't
37:33
tried to poop undoubtedly oh I thought
37:36
you were saying has investigated the
37:38
duck you could store all kinds of
37:40
shit in that duck that's true Nikes
37:45
mm -hmm drugs I
37:47
would put like hmm I would put
37:49
like an inflate like an inner tube back there
37:51
so I could just kind of flop down I wonder
37:53
if it really keeps all those costumes damn it Notre
37:55
Dame you
38:00
dumbies. You
38:08
dumbies. Hey. Hey.
38:10
Hey. Survey, survey,
38:12
survey. Who here is a football
38:14
coach? Coach, um,
38:17
All right, therefore, it's not for us to
38:19
say whether or not it's a good
38:21
idea to cover Jeremiah Smith. Can I tell
38:23
you, by the way, this is like
38:25
an embodiment of the like constipated ass greatness
38:27
of this team because Ohio State waited
38:29
this long. To try the big play that
38:31
they could dial up at any fucking
38:33
time they want. Like go attempt field the
38:35
chair that they could have done this
38:37
so many other times. And only when it's
38:39
third and 11 and the game's on
38:41
the line are they like, fine, we'll throw
38:43
to our little mini Calvin Johnson. Do
38:45
you think they were just like, let's run
38:47
by everyone of the Michigan game briefly. They
38:50
just a Milton burl ask team. They
38:52
only pull as much dick out as they
38:54
can to win the bet. So it
38:56
really, yeah, that's definitely that. So
38:58
it really is, again, a synecdoche of
39:00
their season because it had that point
39:03
and toward the end where it was
39:05
like, oh, oh, gross. Right. And then
39:07
now the final two minutes were watching
39:09
the playoff. The word cloud of this
39:11
game is going to look like the
39:13
activation sequence for the winter soldier. Puddles.
39:19
Cloika. Synecdoche. Milton
39:21
burl. The
39:27
clowns. Oh man, are we deep enough in the
39:29
show for me to say that AI is one
39:32
of Spielberg's best works? Yeah, we're there. Yeah, awesome.
39:35
I think so. Y 'all are wrong about it. Everybody's
39:37
wrong about it than me. What is one
39:39
of his worst works? Well,
39:41
I know what you're going to
39:43
say. I don't, I don't, I'm not, I'm
39:46
not necessarily going to say that. You're
39:48
not, we're not going to litigate this
39:50
one again. I don't think so. Oh,
39:53
I was, I was just going to give you
39:55
a platform to go off on hook. No,
39:57
I love hook. I just think it's a family
39:59
movie. I completely misunderstood
40:01
about that this entire
40:03
time. That's not me. I
40:05
just think it's worth remembering,
40:08
that's all. Hmm. Spielberg's
40:10
worst movie. West Side Story,
40:12
not even close. Okay.
40:15
Ready Player
40:17
One is
40:20
up there.
40:22
Okay, C'mon,
40:24
Crayt! C'mon, Crayt!
40:27
Stop it, Crayt! Yeah.
40:38
I interrupted you, which is the first
40:40
time I've ever done that, so I'm going
40:42
to apologize this time. Well, I would just,
40:44
yeah, he brought it on himself, but then,
40:46
I guess it's like a, you recruited these
40:48
players, but at least you got them
40:50
pointed in the right direction? Also, Lincoln
40:52
is fine, but it looks like homework?
40:55
Feels like homework. Okay, I will say that,
40:57
okay, I got one more one that's criminally
40:59
underrated and then we'll move on. Bridge of
41:01
spies of spies of spies is like way
41:03
funnier than has any right to be, and
41:06
I'm not being glib. Okay, I'll buy I
41:08
haven't seen it. I want a bottle Mark
41:10
Rylitz in this movie Creditis
41:12
Bielberg for talking Daniel Day Lewis
41:15
out of getting shot in the head
41:17
for Lincoln though, because you know he
41:19
was like, I get shot in the
41:21
head in the scene That's what method
41:23
means. That is totally what method means.
41:25
This is just my default voice now.
41:27
I'm sorry. I don't have another one.
41:30
Yeah, also shouts out to amazing
41:32
stories. Amazing stories. It's like superb
41:34
God you're old God Milton Burling
41:36
amazing stories old shit. Oh you
41:38
can't abide by that West Side
41:41
story state commenter get out
41:43
Sorry hey this is the internet's only
41:45
movie podcast all right deal with
41:47
it I'll get older Empire the
41:49
Sun Ryan Empire the Sun
41:51
Ryan Empire the Sun's underrated
41:53
fantastic score movie fucking rules this
41:56
is a sports and pop culture podcast
41:58
a creature of our own Mm-hmm. Man,
42:00
Ryan Day's exercising all the demons. They're
42:02
lining up in like super power formation.
42:05
Like now we're gonna run to finish.
42:07
Oh, that was so fucking stupid. What
42:09
was that? They're false starting. Okay, does
42:11
this ref, is it just because they're
42:14
indoors? Because for the first time this
42:16
season, and I feel like we in
42:18
particular, would have noticed if this is
42:20
the case before, but do these refs
42:22
look like they're wearing tearaway pants? Little
42:24
bit, yeah. Wish they would. Hey, you know
42:26
what'd make this possession really interesting?
42:29
If one of the rest was
42:31
hot and more terraway pants? Yeah.
42:33
If Notre Dame had made that
42:35
feel cool. Hey guys, it's the
42:37
two minute... Whatever. The two minute
42:39
stopies. We gotta come up with
42:42
something way nastier about this for
42:44
next season. Hey, you know what
42:46
have been even funnier? If they'd
42:48
actually gone for it on that
42:50
fourth and scored. Oh, that was
42:52
a stupid play the second time
42:54
too. How interesting. This game might
42:56
be tied. Might have been. That's
42:58
a long shot. I think we
43:00
all agree that missing the field goal
43:02
was the worst choice. I think I
43:04
think Joel's prophecy is valid
43:07
as of right now until Ohio
43:09
State scores here. Unless Ohio State
43:11
scores a field goal and then
43:14
Notre Dame scores a touchdown. So
43:16
I have state fumbles it or
43:18
something. Yeah, sure. Entirely possible, but of
43:20
course being a defensive coach we'll get the ball back.
43:23
We'll get the ball back. How are you going to
43:25
do that? We'll get a ball back. We'll get a
43:27
ball back. I'll pay the bills. I got it. I
43:29
know I'm down this month, but I'll get there. All
43:31
we need is a what? A stop. Every defensive
43:33
coach is like I'm just eight I'm
43:36
just eight hands of blackjack away from being
43:38
a millionaire. We get four stops and I
43:40
get four stops and I get my real estate
43:42
license and I get my real estate license
43:44
and we're golden! I'm going to plant this
43:46
flag one more time. Jack Sawyer is going
43:48
to be the last president of the United
43:50
States. I don't know why, but I know
43:53
that I'm right. Is he going to be
43:55
president as a young man or an old
43:57
man? Young. Okay. It won't be long. Don't worry.
43:59
Okay. Cool. Fuck retirement just a
44:01
few more sleeps until the forever sleep.
44:03
I don't okay. I don't really understand
44:06
why we're dive bombing Will Howard instead
44:08
of just taking right? If the goal
44:10
if the goal if the goal is
44:13
just Will Howard doesn't look all that
44:15
happy about it either just take like
44:17
the net the like shallowest knee possible
44:19
I don't need to see Ryan day
44:22
bite his lip get the baby girl
44:24
camera off of him. Jesus. He's sexual.
44:26
I wonder if it's that Riley Leonard
44:29
has puked enough that Will Howard feels
44:31
guilty for how this is anything you
44:33
can do I can do better sure
44:35
it is just like you know let
44:38
me just dive onto my tummy sure
44:40
sure I do love those those first
44:42
drive pukes though because I know everybody
44:45
every coach one side effect of everyone
44:47
being so paranoid about hydration and drilling
44:49
into their you know players heads that
44:51
they have to be hydrated is that
44:54
you can always spot somebody puking on
44:56
the sideline after the first drive. And
44:58
it's colors, it's always a color. It's
45:01
always vivid. Blue puke, orange puke, puke,
45:03
lemon, lime puke. If Ohio State doinks,
45:05
this field goal, I think that arena
45:07
rules should apply and you should be
45:10
able to return it off the doink.
45:12
Still nothing, I'm going to text them
45:14
again. This is for work. Needed in
45:17
next five, please. Do the loud notification,
45:19
right? Shaky text? No, he's got a
45:21
fucking Android, I can't do it. It's
45:23
getting really bad, please hurry. Ryan, how
45:26
do I make an Android phone, like,
45:28
do what I want? You just traded
45:30
in for an iPhone. Oh, wow. Yeah.
45:33
Keep running, well, how I needlessly. All
45:35
right, we got the stop. All right.
45:37
Okay, so they're gonna end up with,
45:39
what, 30-ish seconds. Yeah. Yeah, that's plenty
45:42
of time for, uh, for Riley Leonard
45:44
to run the ball. The Magic Man,
45:46
just got to 11 times. It's not
45:49
wise to upset a future dentist. Air
45:51
Leonard! To get an 11er! The rare
45:53
levener! Get that rock and jock touchdown.
45:55
If I throw it in the...
45:58
Birds nest in the
46:00
mezzanine. Hey, you know what
46:02
would be great? Hey, do you think they know the clock's
46:04
running? They don't care. Okay.
46:07
I think the move here, fake field
46:09
goal, just throw a touchdown, fuck
46:11
them. No, that's just, yeah. Like
46:13
you're up eight, this
46:16
is 28 seconds to go. If you
46:18
run a fake field goal, you'll probably kill
46:20
another like five, six seconds. Fuck it,
46:22
just go for a mean
46:24
touchdown. Kickers got like kind of,
46:26
they got kind of like a long haired van
46:28
by the river looking kicker. This might be over. I
46:31
think you got to fire Ryan Day. Yeah, yeah.
46:34
There will be, that argument will be made,
46:36
I promise. No, no, this was not a
46:38
definitive, this was not a definitive win. Didn't
46:40
cover it at this time, as of right
46:42
now. I think what Jason's saying is that
46:44
the Raiders have to fire Ryan Day. Raider. Jonathan
46:47
Serna raises an excellent point here. Catholics believe
46:49
in miracles, but you know what they also believe
46:51
in? Faith is nothing without the presence of
46:53
good works. And I don't see a lot of
46:55
good works here, Ryan. Damn. Day.
46:58
Not you, Ryan. You're precious.
47:00
I think Tom Brady
47:02
should post a statement that says we
47:04
are not interested in Ryan Day. Did
47:07
anyone ask? No. The
47:11
Jags have asked permission to talk to
47:13
Ryan Day. And Ryan Day said no.
47:16
No. One
47:18
more time, just cause it's cold outside,
47:20
one more time for the year, shout
47:22
out to all players who wear full
47:24
white tights into white cleats because it
47:26
looks like they're playing in footy pajamas.
47:28
We love this. It's got a real
47:30
ballet vibe to it. Notre Dame also
47:32
wearing your good uniforms. Thank you for bringing the
47:34
good helmets. Hey, if
47:36
you're the kicker, you just call this the
47:38
game when you kill, right? nailed it. Fucking
47:40
nailed it. Spencer, what was that serenity? Oh
47:42
my God, I almost thought. Spencer, what was
47:44
that serenity prayer you made about the Michigan State kicker
47:46
that one time, the one that cussed in the
47:48
press conference? I'll
47:50
have to go look. He
47:54
was awesome, though. I
47:56
do want the Jacks to hire another Ohio State
47:58
coach now that we, this one will. Now
48:00
that we've really Jim
48:02
trestle. Let's bring it out.
48:05
He'll wear the best. It's
48:07
run through all of them
48:09
the teal vest The the
48:11
the Jaguar print No shirt
48:13
The tie though. Oh here we
48:15
go November 21st 2015
48:18
That was Michael Geiger
48:20
of Michigan. Oh God. I
48:22
forgot what game this was.
48:24
I'm sorry This was Michigan
48:26
State's Michael Geiger connecting on
48:29
a 41-yard field goal to
48:31
snap Ohio State's 23 game
48:33
win streak Whoops, I just saw
48:35
Ryan day smile, which I Honestly
48:37
do not remember the last time
48:40
It's been a little bit not to
48:42
get sexual again, but I didn't
48:44
know his face could do that All
48:46
right. Well This was a national
48:49
championship game. This was a
48:51
national championship game This sure
48:54
was worth having three of
48:56
these teams. It's weird because,
48:58
like, on the one hand,
49:00
because neither of these teams
49:03
are nine and three Alabama,
49:05
I agree. Yeah, yeah, I think that
49:07
is what it is. That it is
49:10
what it is. Like, this is, yeah.
49:12
This is, yeah, this is what it
49:14
is, like, this is, yeah, so this
49:16
is, we don't know what to talk
49:19
about when it's not nine
49:21
and three, Alabama. This is
49:23
just college football now. You
49:25
can look like absolute shit. And then
49:28
could we go play another team that
49:30
once looked like absolute shit?
49:32
And you beat them. And you're the
49:34
champ. But it's also the weirdness
49:36
of like, if you said at
49:38
the start of the season, Ohio
49:41
State's going to win the national
49:43
championship. But just like, yeah, that's
49:45
fine. It's not like, boy, the
49:47
playoff really spat out some crazy
49:49
result here from the like.
49:51
10,000 feet perspective. Sure. Yeah,
49:53
it's it's just it's just
49:56
college football's different and this
49:58
is the most definitive. We
50:00
sound like we're explaining to the
50:02
kids that we're not going to live
50:04
in the same place anymore. We
50:06
now know the price too. 20 mil,
50:08
baby. Oh God, oh God, oh God.
50:11
Those players are going to snap
50:13
his... I thought they hit him in
50:15
the face with the catering collar. Right,
50:17
Notre Dame, if you can hear
50:19
us, start pooping on the field. There's
50:22
no answer for it. And what are
50:24
they going to do? Suspend you
50:26
for next game? There is it one.
50:28
Also, I really want some I want
50:31
some like Mac team to devote all
50:33
of their NIL. Mac team's probably
50:35
overshooting it actually. Let's get some Sun
50:38
Belt team to devote all of their
50:40
NIL from their one insane booster
50:42
to just prying one guy off the
50:44
so-hio state squad. Just one like Jeremiah
50:47
Smith will be playing it. Okay,
50:49
that's yeah, I'm gonna I'm gonna need
50:51
you to aim a little lower a
50:53
little lower. Question from comment or
50:55
Jake, and it's a good one. I
50:58
wonder if Ryan Day knows Lou Holt
51:00
is there. Oh, he's gonna get
51:02
up. Get your ass down here. This
51:04
gets still get fun. Grab a mic.
51:07
Call him out. We need a
51:09
shot. We need a shot. We need
51:11
a shot of Ryan Day with Lou
51:13
Holt's in the background. Both of
51:15
them pointing at the Wrestlemania sign. Ryan
51:18
Day rips off a rubber mask. It's
51:20
Jackie Chan. He starts climbing up
51:22
the inside of the inside of the
51:24
stadium. Lou Holtz! Get your ass down
51:27
here! Give me what I want!
51:29
Then some really racist music hits and
51:31
here comes Lou Holtz! Lou Holtz is
51:33
scuttling into the air vents like
51:35
a xenomorph right now. Just... Arthritic gallum.
51:38
Yeah. All right. It's gonna take him
51:40
weeks to get him out of
51:42
there. Hey, you know you gotta do
51:44
now, Ryan. I think he's more of
51:47
a thmeagal. Ready to loud quit
51:49
buddy got a wait a second doesn't
51:51
mean shit. Yeah, hey Ron, guess what?
51:53
We'll be I'm starting
51:55
tomorrow. You're winless.
51:58
A lot of dumbasses
52:00
won one championship.
52:02
You ain't done
52:04
shit, right? You
52:08
just you just jimbo with a
52:10
beard. I think you just glorified at
52:12
Ocheron Hey,
52:18
did the whites of his eyes look flesh colored
52:20
in this shot like not red But they look
52:22
like the exact color of his face. That
52:24
face has been through a lot. Yeah
52:26
every Ohio State season
52:28
is a It's a presidential term
52:30
in terms of wear and tear on
52:32
your face Spencer, I would like to ask
52:35
you a personal question. Sure. I
52:37
think this is one of the most
52:39
like geared towards your specific
52:42
Hate national championship matchups we
52:44
could have gotten. Yeah, how do you
52:46
as a hater? How do you feel
52:48
with this result? Oh, you know,
52:50
it would have been cooler if any
52:53
other two teams were playing You
52:59
got to watch Notre Dame lose So
53:01
when I did get to
53:03
Arizona State honks Spencer Hall There's
53:05
a lot of positives here
53:07
and the positives are as follows
53:10
That Caleb Downs is an awesome player
53:12
to watch was cool to see
53:14
him. Yeah succeed and thrive. It's very
53:17
cool to watch Ryan Day Getting
53:19
beaten up by Jack Sawyer right now. Oh
53:23
Hugging him but also kind of Okay
53:26
chasing I'm
53:28
gonna smack you right in the
53:30
heart That's how he becomes president
53:33
by first after his football career
53:35
Starring in a reboot of White House
53:37
down in which he plays both the
53:39
president and the head of the Secret
53:41
Service Yeah, that's good. That's good. Yeah,
53:43
I'm gonna say something that's it's meaner
53:45
than I mean it to be Will
53:47
Howard looks like a pro golfer Will
53:49
Howard will Howard you just played a football game.
53:51
Where are your fucking pores, man?
53:53
Yeah? Oh my god He looks like
53:55
porcelain. That's a call. That's kindly
53:57
of that man's skin care. This is
53:59
why he was diving face first into
54:02
the turf will drop the serums man
54:04
tell us that is a golfer's face
54:06
that is the face of a these are like
54:08
these are the two like these are the
54:10
two rooty ass look in his
54:13
quarterbacks true and it's like it's
54:15
it's astonishing because like nobody who
54:17
looks like you should be able
54:19
to do that It's kind of awesome
54:21
that Will Howard is here because he
54:23
was all the way out in Manhattan
54:26
Kansas playing for the Kansas State Wildcats
54:28
prior to this. Who we love and
54:30
appreciate. Who we love and appreciate but
54:32
I like. I like that he did
54:34
real well there and we have the
54:36
system where they say hey you want to
54:38
make some you want to make some
54:41
big money playing in Columbus come on
54:43
down like Spencer Spencer sorry no one shit
54:45
on the sideline unless it is in their
54:47
pants and then you go inside and change
54:49
I'm gonna ask him what happens if somebody
54:52
just drops trial on the sideline and
54:54
goes to town right but I sense
54:56
from the text that he's getting impatient
54:58
with me Well, we need answers. And
55:00
they also have to go to work
55:03
right now. Listen, Reese, answer the question.
55:05
Don't time, wow, like that, Josh.
55:07
Shout out to Quinn. This is
55:09
going to stay in LinkedIn, but
55:11
we're going to have to cut
55:13
that from the thing. Yeah, there's
55:15
so many good things here. Also,
55:17
my rule prevails, which is that
55:19
the public institution won over the
55:21
private one. And that's great. Class,
55:23
class solidarity of the most tenuous
55:26
sort to Ohio State University.
55:29
Hang on, what if it's like a huge
55:31
amount of blood? So we, one of
55:33
our, one of our disasters. What if
55:35
it's Eicher? Okay, what if it's Bile?
55:37
One of our disasters that we didn't
55:39
get to, I believe, from Jay Willis
55:41
was about a player who bled so
55:43
much that they had to like cancel
55:45
the rest of the game so they
55:47
could get hazmat out there. Yes, I
55:49
remember that one. Yeah, okay. So there
55:51
is a finite amount of, I wonder
55:54
if. Well sure, for instance, vomit. Because
55:56
like, you know, a normal human amount
55:58
of, like, okay, fine, just... step on
56:00
it. It looks tough. So if
56:02
I'm doing the pyramid from bottom
56:04
to top, piss is the most,
56:06
right? Like it would take a
56:09
gargantium out of piss. Sure. Shut
56:11
down the game, right? Yeah, yeah.
56:13
That's interesting because it's the most
56:15
likely, but also it's the most
56:17
likely, it's like the least harmful,
56:19
but also the most likely to
56:21
be a huge volume. I mean,
56:23
our good friend, our good friend
56:25
Mike, Mike Golic Jr. has confirmed
56:27
you're allowed to pee yourself. Right,
56:29
exactly. Like, piss is an, this
56:32
is basically an acceptable substance. Yeah.
56:34
It's not banned, yeah. Oh, sorry
56:36
we have a clarifying question from
56:38
our source at the game like
56:40
shitting blood or bleeding from your
56:42
arm. Oh So I thought that's
56:44
what you meant. I guess I
56:47
guess what is the providence of
56:49
this blood sir? Shitty blood has
56:51
got to top the list. Yeah,
56:53
I didn't think about that. Wait,
56:55
wait, wait, now what's now what's
56:57
more what do you think is
56:59
more alarming to the field crew?
57:01
Blood you shit or blood you
57:04
shit I don't know, bloody vomit
57:06
is going to go further. Sure.
57:08
Yeah. Yeah. Be more distributed into
57:11
the grass. And, you know, also
57:13
in terms of biohazards, it's not
57:15
a one for one there. Sure.
57:18
All right. So thank you for
57:20
your, for that peek into your
57:23
future as patches of hoolahand there.
57:25
All right, so I'm going to say
57:28
it's piss. I
57:31
think I'm gonna
57:34
put, I think
57:36
I'm gonna
57:39
put, I
57:42
think I'm
57:45
gonna go
57:47
bottom to
57:50
top, shit
57:53
blood. Okay.
57:55
I think blood just freaks people
57:57
out because it's the most like...
57:59
I've I've well and also I've
58:02
seen a ton of diseases. Yes,
58:04
exactly. Yes, I think it's I
58:06
think it's I think it's a
58:08
doctor as we can tell. People
58:10
is so uptight about blood. Yeah,
58:13
people do get so uptight about
58:15
blood. So when Lou Holt's Jizz
58:17
is on the field, where does
58:19
that, where does that slide? Well
58:22
that's a dry material, so it's
58:24
going to be easily. I just
58:26
want to note for the record,
58:28
when this enters the transcript, that
58:30
was not me. Hey, did LeBron
58:33
just do the chalk thing? No,
58:35
Lou Holt's came. It's when they
58:37
talk about how they could sell
58:39
blood and semen to raise money
58:41
to save the gym and one
58:44
of the one of the background
58:46
guys goes not mixed together and
58:48
then it just goes to the
58:50
next scene with their comments. I
58:52
think honestly I think this discussion
58:55
is the greatest celebration of Ohio
58:57
State football and culture that we
58:59
could offer. I think they should
59:01
keep dumping coolers on Ryan Day
59:04
because they just replayed the gatorade
59:06
thing and I thought they had
59:08
found a second gatorade vessel because
59:10
there's 800 people on this Ohio
59:12
State team. They have to have
59:15
multiple coolers. I think they should
59:17
find all the liquid they can
59:19
at field level and just continue
59:21
pouring it on him. And now
59:23
after winning a title. Brian De
59:26
gets to go home and do
59:28
what all title winning coaches at
59:30
Ohio State get to do. That's
59:32
right. Pick one random citizen from
59:34
Ohio and have them burned alive
59:37
inside a Bob Evans. I thought
59:39
you were going to say grind
59:41
on them at Urban Myers Bar
59:43
and Grill. Yeah, they call this
59:46
the Woody Man. Speaking of fluids.
59:48
There it is. That's all the
59:50
things. That's all the things that
59:52
happened. It looked... Oh, okay, it's
59:54
like cleaning up a gunshot wound.
59:57
Okay, here we go. Just bleeding.
59:59
from your body they use silver
1:00:01
nitrate and tampons if you shit
1:00:03
blood then you change pants and
1:00:05
probably get a pad in there like
1:00:08
a maxi pad sure no bloody fluids
1:00:10
in football would make a stoppage you
1:00:12
get stopped but the game goes on
1:00:14
that is poetry wow wow thank you
1:00:16
not Reese Davis next meet sack up
1:00:18
Brian Kelly's just at home texting Marcus Freeman
1:00:20
like I always knew you'd be a failure
1:00:22
Oh man, no, don't make this worse, we're
1:00:25
having a good night, we're not having a
1:00:27
good night, but we're not having a good
1:00:29
night, but we're trying now, isn't it, Fucker?
1:00:31
This is slander of Brian Kelly, to be
1:00:33
clear. Yeah. Yes, Brian Kelly, Marcus Freeman's
1:00:35
wonderful, he did a great job. I know,
1:00:37
but clearly he doesn't have the resources, he
1:00:39
needs to win at Ohio State. Yeah. Because
1:00:41
you know we're talking about Ryan Kelly taking
1:00:43
an NFL job. What's actually going to happen
1:00:46
next is Marcus Freeman takes an NFL job
1:00:48
because we can't have nice things. Brian Kelly's
1:00:50
down here like, yeah, listen, I'm down here
1:00:52
doing a shit job and like I'm on
1:00:54
literally a golden throne. I have these rednecks
1:00:56
throwing so much cash at me. For somebody
1:00:59
who's speed running everything at Ojiran was allegedly
1:01:01
doing in real, but he's actually doing it
1:01:03
in real life. Brian Kelly does not seem
1:01:05
like he's having a lot of fun. Yeah, but
1:01:07
we're having a lot of fun.
1:01:09
That's important. I like it. When
1:01:11
has Brian Kelly ever seemed like
1:01:13
he's having a lot of fun?
1:01:15
Central Michigan folks sound offed. Was
1:01:17
he all shits and giggles at the
1:01:19
time? Just a live in life laughing it
1:01:22
up? We'll hear from you soon. I
1:01:24
don't get to see Brian Kelly go
1:01:26
to the zoo and tap on the
1:01:28
snake exhibit windows and watch them just
1:01:30
striking. God, I thought that sentence was
1:01:32
going. Yeah. Goes to the zoo and
1:01:34
throws rocks rocks at the spare time.
1:01:37
They're lazy. Yeah, just sit
1:01:39
here all fucking day. This
1:01:42
is where in the interest
1:01:44
of good journalism I should
1:01:47
briefly review our Our
1:01:49
preseason playoff picks Yes
1:01:51
Mind you these faced certain
1:01:54
handicaps with certain
1:01:56
stipulations. No, no,
1:01:58
these were our pick Let's see
1:02:00
how many let's see how many all
1:02:02
right so Spencer I think you're the
1:02:05
team you had that did the best
1:02:07
you had no playoff teams Awesome you
1:02:09
had Iowa State and I think Iowa
1:02:11
State had a pretty damn good season
1:02:14
and they're the best season They were
1:02:16
in there for a while And they
1:02:18
and they came within a not particularly
1:02:20
close game against Arizona State and the
1:02:23
big 12 championship of making the playoff
1:02:25
field so I'll give you credit for
1:02:27
that Jason you had Boise state they
1:02:30
first pick They made the playoff you
1:02:32
had SMU. They made the playoff. What
1:02:34
happened to those teams in the playoff?
1:02:36
Don't ask those questions. That's rude. We
1:02:39
got to ask how they ask how
1:02:41
many. We got to buy in there.
1:02:43
So did you also have Oklahoma State?
1:02:45
That's not important. Shut the fuck out.
1:02:48
Go away. Holly. You had Cal. You
1:02:50
had Colorado who hung around for a
1:02:52
while. Holly. You know what you had.
1:02:54
You had Cal. Cal wasn't America's team!
1:02:57
Cal wasn't anywhere close to making the
1:02:59
college football playoffs. Yes they were! But,
1:03:01
God damn if they weren't important. You
1:03:03
know who else you had Holly? You
1:03:06
had Nebraska, and Nebraska made a bowl
1:03:08
game. And considering how things have been
1:03:10
going for Nebraska over the last decade,
1:03:12
that's as good as a playoff. Also
1:03:15
America's team, derogatory. That's right. Michael Serber,
1:03:17
who's not on the show right now?
1:03:19
But he's listening. Indiana. He had him.
1:03:21
But he had him on the list.
1:03:24
I think yes server wins this one
1:03:26
running away. This national championship forged in
1:03:28
the fires of the Indiana Hoosiers. Strength,
1:03:30
the only team strong enough to defeat.
1:03:33
America's most important college football team. Sorry,
1:03:35
spit is the worst because that means
1:03:37
you spit at someone and got a
1:03:39
penalty. Vomet probably number two because you
1:03:42
got concussed. The rest is in nothing.
1:03:44
What would happen if you appeared to
1:03:46
have vomited on someone intentionally? Intentionally, like
1:03:48
you punched your own stomach. Oh, why
1:03:51
don't you learn to do the horned
1:03:53
frog thing where you shop blood out
1:03:55
of your eyes? Man, there's a bell
1:03:57
ringing ring in my head that somebody's
1:04:00
done this. throw up lay somebody out
1:04:02
receiver caught the ball over the middle
1:04:04
flatten him and then you shed on
1:04:06
him yeah sober also had I
1:04:09
would say I missing any bodily
1:04:11
humor bile Iker do you both biles
1:04:13
no no no what's that what's the
1:04:15
aim flam oh I guess we did oh I
1:04:17
guess we did oh right I forgot
1:04:20
a yellow bile and black bile right
1:04:22
for fire and earth yeah okay uh
1:04:24
so the black bile is shitting blood
1:04:26
in in in the form of Florida
1:04:28
Uh, South Carolina and Oklahoma. Serbo had
1:04:30
a lot of good playoff spoilers. Not
1:04:33
teams that made the playoff. South Carolina
1:04:35
should have been there completely been just
1:04:37
broken. See, I can prove this isn't
1:04:39
Reese Davis because he's talking on television
1:04:41
right now, not texting the full cast
1:04:43
with the hands in his pocket. That's
1:04:46
right. I, I was... conflating a
1:04:48
couple of different incidents. In
1:04:51
2010, a Philadelphia Eagles fan
1:04:53
intentionally vomited on a spectator
1:04:55
and his 11-year-old daughter at
1:04:57
Philly's game. Not even an
1:05:00
Eagles game, man. You're just
1:05:02
a low-gear sport. No, I
1:05:04
wouldn't say, have you met Philly's
1:05:06
fans? I have. I don't think your
1:05:08
assessment is accurate. I was going to
1:05:11
say the difference is Philly Eagles fans
1:05:13
have to pack it into eight home
1:05:15
games. Philly's fans get to, but they
1:05:17
get to like explore the space. You
1:05:19
have, that's where you have the freedom
1:05:21
to be like, oh I think I'll
1:05:23
bob it on a kid today. I
1:05:25
think my exploring is basically drinking 32
1:05:27
beers on a Wednesday. I can see the
1:05:30
stitching in the hat and Will Howard's face
1:05:32
looks like an ivory so bad. Yeah. This
1:05:34
is freaky. You think he's in a, is
1:05:36
he a robot? Is he AI? The, that's
1:05:38
AI, right? The movie, you mean, right? No,
1:05:41
no, no, like the thing. That
1:05:43
is Haley, Jolasm. That is
1:05:45
Haley, Jolasmid. His love is real.
1:05:47
His arm is not. When Wyoming
1:05:49
played Kent State in 2021,
1:05:51
a Kent State offensive lineman,
1:05:53
it was penalized for puking. He
1:05:56
was hit with a false, he
1:05:58
was false start. He got
1:06:00
a false start penalty because
1:06:02
his vomiting induced while having
1:06:05
him fleshed. Because his guts
1:06:07
were propelling themselves out of
1:06:09
his out of his face
1:06:12
and the ref said, I
1:06:14
saw that. Oh, neutral zone
1:06:16
infrastion. Do you want the
1:06:18
most like 2021 interaction ever?
1:06:21
It was this that Bill
1:06:23
Kodak, the offensive lineman, who
1:06:25
puked and got a false
1:06:28
start penalty. He, he tweeted
1:06:30
out. Puke and Rowley, appreciate
1:06:32
the shout-out, Maxine, and then
1:06:34
followed it up by asking
1:06:37
for a job with Bardstool.
1:06:39
Yeah. Yeah. He has passed
1:06:41
the trials! You may enter
1:06:43
the Thieves Guild! Right, that's
1:06:46
my favorite voice, you do.
1:06:48
While we're handing out awards
1:06:50
my only playoff pick of
1:06:53
interest the Miami Hurricanes who
1:06:55
didn't make the playoffs or
1:06:57
the ACC championship game Maybe
1:06:59
if the ACC moves to
1:07:02
this convoluted Number two and
1:07:04
number three play each other
1:07:06
for question marks spot Miami
1:07:09
will finally make that fucking
1:07:11
games instead Brian you picked
1:07:13
a pop-tart bowl attendee I
1:07:15
did pick, yes, that's true,
1:07:18
that's true. Yeah. Thank you
1:07:20
to the commenters calling the
1:07:22
puking and getting a penalty
1:07:25
as outcroachment. Yeah, this is
1:07:27
a good one, encroachment, this
1:07:29
guy's guts. Yeah, I am,
1:07:31
uh, that's it. There's only
1:07:34
one question left to ask,
1:07:36
really. Yeah. Do you agree?
1:07:38
I really don't, but it
1:07:40
doesn't matter whether I agree
1:07:43
or not. Okay. I think
1:07:45
it's wrong. What's the on
1:07:47
three, what's the on three
1:07:50
headline for this game gonna
1:07:52
be? Extend. Yeah, it's still
1:07:54
employed. Employed. It'd be Ryan,
1:07:56
picture Ryan Day with. Employed.
1:07:59
Bullet! Proof! Ooh. Dynasty! It
1:08:01
is Cloweka, you're right,
1:08:03
Collake. Clowake! Be a picture
1:08:05
of Will Howard with Exfoliate.
1:08:07
Bile! I think Bile is
1:08:09
a good one. What if it's
1:08:12
exonerated with like three question marks?
1:08:14
Yeah, sure. And an asterisk. I
1:08:16
can, I have no complaints because
1:08:19
I got to cover another season of
1:08:21
college football and that was
1:08:23
awesome. What did you enjoy
1:08:25
most this season? I was about
1:08:27
to get to that I'm so
1:08:29
glad you asked. I'm stealing this
1:08:31
from our friend Lucy Rodeon. Oh
1:08:33
no, but it comes from it
1:08:35
comes from the most important football
1:08:37
game. Our source is one of
1:08:39
those guys who could make themselves
1:08:41
throw up and says they get
1:08:44
terrified and do hate it. I
1:08:46
treasure our friendship and I don't
1:08:48
tell you that enough. Thank you
1:08:50
for the inside sourcing. Yes. Mine
1:08:52
was this. It came from... The
1:08:54
October's finest
1:08:57
the USC
1:08:59
Maryland game
1:09:01
sure yeah,
1:09:04
where Eric
1:09:06
Collins drugs
1:09:08
frantically searching for
1:09:10
the file right
1:09:12
now Shall we
1:09:14
hit it? Do it?
1:09:17
Do it? Do it?
1:09:19
Eric Collins take his
1:09:22
home Uh,
1:09:26
God. I will say I did, like, uh, Roger,
1:09:28
or other friend Roger Sharman's choice
1:09:30
of, uh, the refs at the
1:09:32
end of, that Arizona State game
1:09:34
having to complete a review.
1:09:37
Oh my god, they pulled the
1:09:39
trophy out of the thing. They're
1:09:41
gonna vate from that thing. I've
1:09:43
been saying it's a vate pin
1:09:45
since minute one, and now it
1:09:47
has returned to its mothership.
1:09:49
Columbus, Ohio. Brian, what
1:09:51
was your favorite moment? I have
1:09:54
to go with Vanderbilt beating Alabama.
1:09:56
That did happen. I do. I
1:09:58
live close enough. to Vanderbilt Stadium
1:10:00
that like I wasn't at the
1:10:03
game, but it was still just
1:10:05
like holy. Yeah, I don't know
1:10:07
if I'll ever witness that again.
1:10:10
It was awesome. Diego Pavia is
1:10:12
the most important man in Nashville.
1:10:14
It's not a high list. It's
1:10:17
him and then Godfrey. It's kind
1:10:19
of slim. Holly? What was your
1:10:21
favorite thing? I... It's late. Is
1:10:23
it late? I
1:10:26
loved watching my football team this
1:10:28
year. Don't tell anybody they were
1:10:31
fun as hell. I was, I
1:10:33
was going to say. If I
1:10:35
had to pick a moment, it
1:10:37
would probably be the time our
1:10:40
Aussie punner. Yes. Had a punt
1:10:42
down at the one yard line
1:10:44
and hit the Heisman pose. Did
1:10:46
I mention we were up like
1:10:49
60-nothing at this point and it
1:10:51
was against UTEP? Yeah. Good sea
1:10:53
vacuteps, y'all. Jason,
1:10:55
what do you pick? I gotta
1:10:58
go with when Liberty University was
1:11:00
undefeated and feeling themselves so much
1:11:02
that they were talking shit to
1:11:04
Appstate after Appstate canceled a game
1:11:06
because of a fucking hurricane. Liberty
1:11:08
had fans and players out here
1:11:10
accusing Appstate of ducking Liberty. So
1:11:13
they rolled into a public school
1:11:15
that had never won an FBS
1:11:17
game in its history and hadn't
1:11:19
won a game all season. Uh,
1:11:21
and Liberty, their playoff chances in
1:11:23
that nationally televised game that was
1:11:25
the only game of the night
1:11:28
that all of America was watching,
1:11:30
they ate a big old plate
1:11:32
of, uh, bile shit and all
1:11:34
the other substances that we have
1:11:36
named tonight, because your Kennesaw State
1:11:38
Owls got it done. You're welcome.
1:11:40
More like decking, Liberty. That brings
1:11:43
me to, uh, the alarming news
1:11:45
that I have for Ryan, that
1:11:47
in the too soon... AP top
1:11:49
25-ish style pole that ESPN put
1:11:51
out. Okay. They have listed at
1:11:53
number 15 the Florida Gators. Oh,
1:11:55
that's fine. That's right. No. You
1:11:58
closed strong! Yeah. Yeah, 15 means
1:12:00
nothing. I mean, I think, you
1:12:02
know, next year we're looking like,
1:12:04
wow, top 10 gators, pre-season, pull,
1:12:06
I think. Let's do it. I'm
1:12:08
just gonna say it now, we're
1:12:10
back. Yeah, Florida is so back.
1:12:13
Done. Playoff? I mean, playoffs, for
1:12:15
sure. I'm sorry, Missouri's at 7.
1:12:17
What is this. You know what
1:12:19
that is? Comedy. That's an opportunity.
1:12:21
Oh, I, God, I feel terrible.
1:12:23
We didn't even bring up Florida
1:12:25
State's ten losses. I think so
1:12:28
let's do, let's do the math,
1:12:30
let's do the math. In honor
1:12:32
of Florida State, let's do some
1:12:34
math, right? Yeah. How long, how
1:12:36
many years did we toad around
1:12:38
in our little ruck sack of
1:12:40
jokes that we don't tell for
1:12:43
an eight Notre Dame? It was
1:12:45
a four years. Probably three or
1:12:47
four. It was a meme until
1:12:49
until Notre Dame was like decent
1:12:51
again. I can hear Jessica Sputana
1:12:53
like screaming so we're like, no,
1:12:55
you did it forever. No, we're
1:12:58
using it as a measuring stick.
1:13:00
It was a thing for at
1:13:02
least a year or two, because
1:13:04
then after that they had five
1:13:06
straight 10 win seasons and that
1:13:08
kind of killed it. Yeah. So
1:13:10
that was twice as many wins
1:13:13
as for the state had. So
1:13:15
it stands to reason. The joke
1:13:17
kept going for two years that
1:13:19
FSU must hear about this for
1:13:21
four. Correct, that's math. Can I
1:13:23
ask that we play a little
1:13:25
game before we step out here?
1:13:28
Would love to. I have dropped
1:13:30
you all Florida States schedule for
1:13:32
2024. The completed schedule, again, two
1:13:34
wins. 10 losses. Of the 10
1:13:36
losses, can we come up with
1:13:38
a top five? What were our
1:13:41
five favorite Florida State losses? Which
1:13:43
again is only half of the
1:13:45
losses that they had in this
1:13:47
two-inted season. So how many do
1:13:49
you want? Top five? Yeah, can
1:13:51
be top five. We don't necessarily
1:13:53
have to rank them. I'm going
1:13:56
to leap in here with Florida
1:13:58
Privileg and select my favorite first,
1:14:00
which is... versus the Georgia Tech
1:14:02
yellow jackets when they were doing
1:14:04
Irish jigs on the sideline after
1:14:06
beating them. That's a great answer.
1:14:08
No doubt. I'm going to take,
1:14:10
I will take the Duke Blue
1:14:12
Devils 2316 loss. Yep, yep. I'm
1:14:14
gonna jump here and I'm gonna
1:14:17
take, I'm gonna take Memphis.
1:14:19
Memphis beating. Florida State
1:14:21
20 to 12 in the Norvelle Bowl
1:14:23
in Dok Campbell Stadium after they started
1:14:25
oh and two and had a biweek
1:14:27
of like okay they're gonna get it
1:14:29
together right and then went around and
1:14:31
only scored 12 points on a good
1:14:33
Memphis team but still not ideal so I
1:14:36
would like that to be our number three
1:14:38
if possible I would like the SMU game
1:14:40
to be on the record because at that
1:14:42
time SMU was looking rough they were two
1:14:44
and one I believe and one of the
1:14:46
wins was like barely a win over Nevada
1:14:49
like this this was before SMU turned it
1:14:51
around and they beat the fuck out of
1:14:53
FSU 4216. And then is the fifth
1:14:55
answer? I have a couple of candidates
1:14:57
here. I think it could be Miami.
1:14:59
Miami was obviously much better than
1:15:01
Florida State this year, but it's
1:15:04
one of Miami played a ton
1:15:06
of games where they played down
1:15:08
to competition and things got dicey
1:15:10
towards the end of games. This
1:15:12
is a rivalry game that frequently doesn't
1:15:14
necessarily go in the way of like
1:15:16
well this team is much better than
1:15:18
that one so it should go that
1:15:21
way and it was just an absolute
1:15:23
ask kicking like wasn't close in any
1:15:25
way shape or form I could also go with
1:15:27
UNC though yeah I I would like to vote
1:15:29
for UNC just because UNC is a team
1:15:31
that can make anyone look good Like that
1:15:33
is their job that is their wrestling
1:15:36
character they will always let their opponent
1:15:38
get their shit in if she got
1:15:40
no shit in 59 35 40 14
1:15:42
49 14 48 31 29 13 Florida
1:15:45
state and then of course there's the
1:15:47
home opener against Boston College why what
1:15:49
happened there where they got beat 28
1:15:51
13 I remember that that's the game
1:15:54
where I had to start apologizing
1:15:56
to Bill O'Brien just something that
1:15:58
I've never had to do before and
1:16:00
and and looked so bad that apparently
1:16:03
Boston College quarterback Thomas Casillanos was like
1:16:05
oh this is easy money I need
1:16:07
to go fix these fuck actually that
1:16:10
one is my number one because that
1:16:12
confirmed that the Georgia Tech game was
1:16:14
not any sort of just of flooky
1:16:16
it was like oh oh damn also
1:16:19
this is the thing If issue was
1:16:21
still ranked number 10. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
1:16:23
this is, this is where in this,
1:16:26
and they, they had the, that's where
1:16:28
they have the two losses in the
1:16:30
same week of ranking. Yeah. Team that
1:16:32
was briefly still ranked number 10 and
1:16:35
had multiple losses. Okay, that's, I think
1:16:37
you're right. That's, that's our number one.
1:16:39
Boston College, number one in our hearts.
1:16:42
Number one in the ACC, that's not
1:16:44
accurate. Kirk is crying. Kirk the one
1:16:46
on television, not the one on the
1:16:49
podcast. Oh, I love my my buck
1:16:51
eyes. I didn't see this. He's probably
1:16:53
thinking about hitting a deer with his
1:16:55
car on the way home, like looking
1:16:58
forward to it, not that he already
1:17:00
I think that's just normal for an
1:17:02
Ohio person. I think Kirk Herb Street
1:17:05
should start trying out a cat. I
1:17:07
think whenever the bucks win the title,
1:17:09
it's it's deer season year-round. Like, imagine
1:17:11
if Kirk Herb Street was going to
1:17:14
games and be like, my cat deserves
1:17:16
a credential. Let him off the field.
1:17:18
The Herb Street menagerie expands every year.
1:17:21
Sorry. This is my horse whizzy-winkles. It
1:17:23
stands behind Fowler. He gets to tell
1:17:25
on the Game Day set. He gets
1:17:28
to spray whoever he wants! Chris this
1:17:30
is my beloved mascot everywhere you go
1:17:32
the fans just can't get enough of
1:17:34
this kangaroo I mean because eventually animal
1:17:37
shields aren't enough and he will have
1:17:39
to upgrade to human shields to put
1:17:41
between his personality and every other person
1:17:44
he might encounter This is this is
1:17:46
why like Herb Street needs a therapy
1:17:48
orangutan he needs the orangutan that smokes
1:17:50
He needs one this just sounds like
1:17:53
Pat McAfee No, no, that's his therapy
1:17:55
koala. Hey, people love that. We've got
1:17:57
a whole episode about him. People. People
1:18:00
love that Mc McAfee. Oh, we got
1:18:02
an update. One more update. That's
1:18:04
what I'm saying, therapy, smoking therapy.
1:18:06
Right? What animal, hmm. I was
1:18:08
gonna say what animal can you,
1:18:10
most easily teach to smoke, but I'm
1:18:13
guessing it's one that doesn't have
1:18:15
hoves. In America, we no longer
1:18:17
have enough. I think it's a Kentucky
1:18:19
fan. Maybe it's an elephant, because
1:18:21
I mean, you know, they'll put anything in
1:18:23
their nose. They seem like. Oh one
1:18:26
more update from
1:18:28
our our buddy
1:18:31
on the field.
1:18:33
You barf in
1:18:36
someone's earphones and
1:18:39
they never forget
1:18:41
it. Wow, there's
1:18:44
the episode
1:18:47
title. A. S. M.
1:18:49
R. A. S. R. A.
1:18:51
S. S. Sure is. Hey, guess
1:18:53
what? We have a surprise for y'all.
1:18:56
This episode is going to drop...
1:18:58
I mean, you're here. It's technically
1:19:00
still Monday, January 20th.
1:19:02
This episode will be
1:19:05
out for downloading and
1:19:07
savoring tomorrow, January 21st.
1:19:09
On Wednesday, January 22nd,
1:19:11
we're going to have another episode
1:19:13
for you because it is Wednesday,
1:19:16
and it will be a surprise
1:19:18
release of a never before released
1:19:20
live show. Because we will be
1:19:23
asleep all day all off all day time to
1:19:25
hibernate yes after being bit by
1:19:27
my therapy bat and we will we
1:19:29
will return to our regular
1:19:32
Tuesday record Wednesday schedule after
1:19:34
that but y'all get back-to-back
1:19:36
shows this week because we
1:19:38
love you. Woke Batman goes
1:19:40
to therapy that might be
1:19:42
the episode title too. I don't
1:19:44
know Spencer who was this episode
1:19:47
of forecast after dark
1:19:49
presented by Oh, and they're so
1:19:51
proud to hear it. This
1:19:53
episode is brought to you
1:19:56
by Perez Pix. Game
1:19:58
done Ben Runt. Doug. Point
1:20:00
us out. Oh,
1:20:02
no! disaster! What
1:20:05
a bad idea!
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