0:01

This is a

0:03

head gum podcast.

0:07

I just want

0:09

us all to

0:11

realize that there

0:14

is We I mean,

0:17

I don't know if

0:19

we have time

0:21

to get into

0:24

the revolution

0:27

Shit. I mean, everything is, I

0:29

gotta say, everything is good. Yeah. But

0:32

it is, I'm in one of those

0:34

places where I'm, I'm frantic. I buy

0:36

a bad sleep less and I

0:38

have anxiety sleep. Whoa. I was

0:40

thinking about shit. What was going

0:42

on? Like, not even like world

0:45

stuff, but just things that I

0:47

have to do. Walk me through

0:49

it. What's going on in your

0:51

anxiety that's keeping you from sleeping,

0:54

brother? I got this. There's some things

0:56

that are. in place and I feel

0:58

great about that. Now I have to

1:00

worry about all the things that I

1:02

do on the tour. Because it's a

1:05

variety show. So I build like all

1:07

this stuff. We have guests and things

1:09

like that. So like there's a lot

1:11

of things that are taken care of

1:14

that I'm a part of, but are

1:16

not me by myself. And now

1:18

I have to come up with

1:20

stand-up material and with some sketchy

1:22

thing. Unreal. And maybe a

1:24

video. You're one of the

1:26

most oppressed. and put upon

1:29

people. This is it. This

1:31

is a hit job. You asked me what's

1:33

wrong. No, I gotcha. What's crazy is I'm

1:35

kind of not kidding. It really is so

1:38

bad to have to do the thing you

1:40

said you would do. That doesn't feel fair.

1:42

Well, because now you have to do it.

1:44

I'm saying it's really horrible. It's true. It's

1:47

like the planning of the thing is so

1:49

much fun. Yeah. And then you're like, no,

1:51

but those spaces have to be filled with

1:53

things. Yes. You can't just say. things that

1:56

happens to anyone on earth is when you

1:58

say you're going to do something and then

2:00

people expect it. When you say when you

2:02

pitch the show you go oh yeah and

2:04

then a sketch it feels so good yeah

2:07

to say I'll do a sketch that makes

2:09

everyone laugh yeah yeah so write the sketch

2:11

yeah stop it yeah it sucks I we're

2:13

in a moment we have been on our

2:16

tour for a while that is a variety

2:18

show as well And we are in the moment

2:20

now where I didn't book a lot of

2:22

the last several cities are very special cities

2:24

where it's like we're playing big iconic venues

2:26

and it turned out to be like we're

2:28

doing LA, Boston, Chicago, New York, they're big

2:31

ones for us. And I hadn't booked a

2:33

lot of it. And so these last couple

2:35

weeks I've been like. Fock waking up every

2:37

day going I've got to figure out the

2:39

drag queen for that city You know absolutely

2:41

and I so I feel exactly your type

2:43

of anxiety And it's right when I'm going

2:45

to sleep or right when I'm waking up.

2:47

Yeah, especially on a day when I'm supposed

2:50

to be relaxing. Yeah. I wake up

2:52

and go a drag queen like I'm

2:54

truly like It haunts me putting these

2:56

shows together now that makes me think

2:59

of a modern retelling of Christmas Carol.

3:01

Yes. Drag Queen's instead of ghost. Come

3:03

on! Drag Queen's of, of, uh, Variety

3:05

Show's future. Mama, we're gonna work or

3:08

not. Are we gonna work? Mama will

3:10

it give will it slay? Could be

3:12

me and you could be working on

3:14

a pretty interesting Let's get final draft

3:17

open. This could be good What your

3:19

tickets are on sale now for your tour

3:21

and you're going on tour to a bunch

3:23

of cities going a bunch of cities I've

3:25

been before some new places I haven't been

3:27

before going to Iowa I've never performed in

3:29

Iowa before Des Moines no Iowa City fun

3:31

I like Iowa City. Yeah I'm looking forward

3:34

to it. I think we didn't Iowa shout

3:36

out on one of the pods of episodes

3:38

episodes recently please tell me that so Is

3:40

that so? I think we didn't Iowa shout out.

3:43

Please, thank you. I think we didn't Iowa

3:45

shout out. I needed the, I needed the

3:47

closure on that. Somebody, somebody was in the

3:49

comments recently saying that we shouted out Iowa

3:51

and I don't remember what happened. I do

3:53

like Iowa. What's so close to Missouri, you're

3:55

gonna be over there if you're me. It's just

3:57

like that. Are you going to Missouri? No. I don't

3:59

think so. No, St. Louis. Yeah, that's Missouri.

4:01

Yeah, nice. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh,

4:03

yeah. Yes. Oh, yeah. Yes. Thank God.

4:05

I forgot. I have to see it

4:07

on my head as St. Louis M.O.

4:09

And then I know. That's exactly how

4:11

S.T. M. M. M. Oh. You need

4:13

to go after your show in St.

4:15

Louis. You need to go get sandwiches

4:18

at sandwiches. Gramophone. Okay. Very very good

4:20

late night sandwich spot. Okay. Just a

4:22

hot brick in your stomach before bed.

4:24

Something, something nice to send you off

4:26

to your dreams. That's all yeah. You

4:28

won't have anxiety about anything other than

4:30

what's going to happen to your stomach.

4:32

That's a dream in itself. Eat a

4:34

big hot Italian sandwich and then hop

4:36

right in a hotel bed. That's my

4:38

that's my dream my friend. Do you

4:40

think... Because I listen to the podcast.

4:42

This one? Yes. No. Yeah, I do.

4:44

Paul? Yeah, yeah. I'm a fan. What

4:46

if I blush? Come on. You know

4:48

I'm shy. Do you... That's certainly... I'm

4:50

certainly anyone who listens to the podcast.

4:52

They know I'm shy. Do you think

4:54

this will be the least listened to

4:56

episode? No. Your fans will be like,

4:59

who's this old man? They will be

5:01

like that. No, no, not at all.

5:03

You know what's interesting is, I think...

5:05

We we get a lot of requests

5:07

from like very famous internet people to

5:09

come on the show And we say

5:11

no to pretty much all of them

5:13

the Paul brothers They've tried to box.

5:15

They've tried to box. They've tried to

5:17

box me on the show No, but

5:19

it's it's interesting. We get the same

5:21

there's not there's really only a spike

5:23

in like I have a couple friends

5:25

who's like they their episodes, you know,

5:27

it's like Benny Brosky or Tricks even

5:29

tell or something their fans go wild

5:31

on those ones. Every other guest. It's

5:33

the same. It's the same, Paul. They're

5:35

going to be there for you and

5:37

they're going to love you and they're

5:39

going to be in the comments going,

5:42

who is this fabulous man with this

5:44

beautiful hat? That's what's going to happen

5:46

for you. I hope so. What's your

5:48

least favorite episode of the show? You've

5:50

listened to a couple episodes of the

5:52

show. Yeah, my least favorite episode. Yeah.

5:54

It's a comeback. You know, here's why

5:56

I listened to your show because when

5:58

you're the guest say things like Remember

6:00

that time I found out I was

6:02

in a thruple like stuff like that?

6:04

That's right. Would you have people that

6:06

you've known for years? Yeah That's all

6:08

you have some fucked up story. Yeah,

6:10

yeah, that's what we're here. That's what

6:12

we're all here for. What uh, what

6:14

is okay that so Josh Kahneman Julie's

6:16

your favorite? That's good to know. I'm

6:18

interested. It's just funny to me that

6:20

you listen. I like that. That means

6:23

the world to me. I like to,

6:25

first of all, I enjoy you so

6:27

much. And, uh... I was thrilled that

6:29

you had started doing this podcast. But

6:31

then it also introduced me to people

6:33

that I didn't know. And like, I

6:35

just met, I listened to her on

6:37

the show and then started following her

6:39

on Instagram, then we talked, and then

6:41

I met her like a few days

6:43

later, Laura Peek. Oh my God. Right?

6:45

I enjoyed that, that, Leanne Rhymes? We

6:47

hit her arms? It's a great episode.

6:49

But I really, I love being introduced

6:51

to these people. I'm always looking to

6:53

do that to like expand my world

6:55

outside of outside of the same eight

6:57

people I see. Yeah. You know what

6:59

I mean? Well, it gets exciting. It

7:01

gets really easy, I think, to, in

7:03

comedy and probably just in life, but

7:06

just to... I feel like I just

7:08

moved out of LA recently because I

7:10

felt like I was in a groove.

7:12

Not a rut. Rut feels bad, groove

7:14

is good. But I was going to

7:16

the same restaurants with the same people

7:18

and I felt like I needed something

7:20

to shake everything about my life a

7:22

little bit. And I also have to

7:24

blow up my life every three or

7:26

four years. It's like something that's wrong

7:28

with me. But I do, I'm always

7:30

looking for, I was just thinking the

7:32

other night about, I went to a

7:34

friend's show, a musician friend's show and

7:36

friend's show and friend's show and friend's

7:38

show and their opener and their opener

7:40

and their opener was so great. And

7:42

I was like, oh man, I need

7:44

to like, I need to get plugged

7:46

into more new stuff. Yeah, more new

7:49

music, more new, you know, never skip

7:51

the opener. No, never skip the opener.

7:53

If you can help it. I've seen

7:55

so many people that I would not

7:57

have seen otherwise that I really enjoyed

7:59

because I got there early enough to

8:01

see the opener. Yeah. And it's like,

8:03

you never know, you might discover your

8:05

new favorite band and. It's like, it's

8:07

more show. Yeah, you know what I

8:09

mean? It's more show. Yeah. Give the

8:11

people more show. Give the people more

8:13

show. Give the people more show. It's

8:15

also, I've been thinking a lot lately

8:17

about like certainty and designing like this,

8:19

all these little things we do to

8:21

design our days so that we never

8:23

get inconvenienced. Yeah. And I've been thinking

8:25

about the value of inconvenience and what

8:27

can be found in inconvenience. It might

8:30

be that you, yeah, you go to

8:32

the, you go to the It is

8:34

worthwhile to have an inconvenient experience. It's

8:36

worthwhile to have a bad time sometimes.

8:38

But I think about all these things,

8:40

I'm not talking about people in general,

8:42

even I'm talking about me, all these

8:44

little things I do where I don't

8:46

even want to go to a restaurant

8:48

unless I've spent 10 minutes Google Image

8:50

going through the menu and some of

8:52

the plates and the chairs and the,

8:54

I want to know everything about it

8:56

just to make sure that I know

8:58

I'm going to like it. Yeah. And

9:00

I am sometimes rewarded with really good

9:02

outcomes, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But

9:04

I just think, man, how many places

9:06

have I skipped over because the the

9:08

seventh picture in the Google image slide

9:10

wasn't, wasn't giving when I needed it

9:13

to give? I used to be a

9:15

terrible eater. It was really picky. And

9:17

I was just like a holdover from

9:19

childhood or whatever, but I, it was

9:21

like I assumed I didn't like a

9:23

lot of things until I tried them.

9:25

And a big thing for me was

9:27

when I quit smoking. I was like,

9:29

okay, if I can do that, maybe

9:31

I can do other things. Maybe I

9:33

can make myself like these foods that

9:35

are good for me. Yeah. And it

9:37

really opened up my whole world. And

9:39

then I became a person who I

9:41

didn't think about, I didn't have to

9:43

think anymore about the restaurant that I

9:45

was going to. Except for a while,

9:47

seafood was like a last barrier for

9:49

me, where I was like, I just

9:51

don't want to eat fish fish. But

9:54

I made myself like introduced it into

9:56

my diet. Yeah, and now I don't

9:58

have to be afraid to go anywhere,

10:00

you know, yeah, and it's it's very

10:02

freeing the big turning point for me

10:04

was was, friend of mine had his,

10:06

he was turning 40, he was in

10:08

New York, and he invited the people

10:10

that were coming in from out of

10:12

town to a dinner the night before,

10:14

and we went to W.D.40, which I

10:16

had never, I'd never heard of it,

10:18

and it was the, this was the

10:20

advent of molecular gastronomy. Yeah. When it's

10:22

like, this pellet is a peanut butter

10:24

and jelly sandwich or whatever. Yeah, whatever.

10:26

Yeah, whatever. And I had a moment

10:28

of panic where it's like. What I

10:30

can't eat here, what's gonna happen? And

10:32

I just said, you just have to

10:34

give yourself over to whatever this is.

10:37

Yeah. And how bad could it be?

10:39

Yeah. I really had to say how

10:41

bad, it's food, how bad could it

10:43

be? Yeah, people are eating it on

10:45

purpose. Come on. Someone put it together

10:47

for it to be. How bad could

10:49

it be? Yeah. And then I had

10:51

to, but I had to remind myself

10:53

of that for a while until I

10:55

got into the. into the habit of

10:57

saying it's going to be fine and

10:59

looking forward to having a new experience.

11:01

Yeah. Because I can very much, I'm

11:03

very much a creature of habit, I

11:05

can do the same thing every day,

11:07

I can eat the same thing every

11:09

day and not have a problem with

11:11

it. Yeah. And not get tired of

11:13

it, you know. What, okay, that brings

11:15

up a question for me. And this

11:18

might be, yeah, we'll see. If you

11:20

don't like it, we'll just move on

11:22

or cut it or cut it or

11:24

whatever. But the, but the, I guess

11:26

the reason I say this is because

11:28

it feels like kind of a big

11:30

question and sometimes when you ask a

11:32

big question, you know, put people in

11:34

a corner. But what do you think

11:36

is the most important thing you've learned

11:38

or like the most important habit you've

11:40

changed? Like what is the the thing

11:42

that you've gotten good at or okay

11:44

with that has made your life the

11:46

most better? Does that make sense? Yeah,

11:48

and honestly I think the answer is

11:50

developing empathy. Like not that I never

11:52

had empathy, but that is and how

11:54

to... how to cultivate it. Yeah. You

11:56

know, and it makes the world a

11:58

slightly less scary place. Yeah. But also

12:01

it shrinks the world a little bit

12:03

and you under. people a little bit

12:05

better and you give them a little

12:07

more grace or I gave them a

12:09

little more grace than I used to

12:11

understanding that People people by and large

12:13

going through the same things that you're

12:15

going through The world is tough, you

12:17

know, it's tough to be a person

12:19

because we got these fucking big brains

12:21

that are very complex and it leads

12:23

to a lot of fear and confusion

12:25

and you know all these things that

12:27

we go through but it also affords

12:29

you so many wonderful

12:31

experiences and to just like to

12:34

just like let people have a

12:36

moment where they might be having

12:39

a bad time yeah you know

12:41

and also I mean it's very

12:43

hard right now because we're in

12:46

a we're in a place where

12:49

It's hard to wrap your mind around

12:52

somebody seeing the world so fundamentally differently

12:54

than you do Yeah, that it's like

12:56

you really think this you really are

12:58

you really think this is these people

13:00

are bad or these people need to

13:02

be removed from society or these people

13:04

need to be removed from society or

13:06

these people need to not have the

13:09

freedom to do this like you really

13:11

that really bothers you it really affects

13:13

you in that journey for you, but

13:15

Mm. All the time I've been talking

13:17

about on stage lately about like I

13:19

just can't imagine how miserable It must

13:21

be to give a fuck about such

13:24

stupid little things Yeah, like the trans

13:26

panic stuff I mean there's so many

13:28

different angles from which it doesn't make

13:30

sense to me But just the idea

13:32

of sitting in your house and just

13:34

doing with anger all the time about

13:36

like what if they compete in sports?

13:38

It's like I just there's got to

13:41

be room for some is there not

13:43

a political movement in this country that

13:45

could happen that could happen that just

13:47

goes? not so bad. Yeah. Everything's there's

13:49

the there's the very obvious things we

13:51

need to fix. Rent is unsustainable getting

13:53

high. People can't afford the rent. That's

13:56

bad. Yeah. But everything else all this

13:58

dumb culture. stuff where they're like is

14:00

the Bible in schools is it not

14:02

or trans people playing sports are they

14:04

not I go let's just do rent

14:06

and groceries and everybody on everything else

14:08

fucking relax yeah what's the problem I

14:11

don't get it it really is to

14:13

me it's a fear of change and

14:15

it's a fear of surprises yeah where and

14:17

I guess it's also a fear of

14:19

discovering something about yourself maybe you know

14:21

it's it's like apparently young men don't

14:23

like the word partner uh... to to

14:26

refer to uh... you know a

14:28

relationship really a young straight man

14:30

yeah and obviously the reason is

14:32

because somebody might think that

14:34

you're geez a girl by the

14:36

way exactly yeah my partner girl

14:39

it's too gender neutral yeah and

14:41

i think it's that i do

14:43

think that people that are that

14:45

are super conservative The thing that they

14:47

seem to want the most is for everything

14:50

to be in a box This is what

14:52

this is. This is what this is. There's

14:54

absolutely no shades of anything It is just

14:56

so you can understand the world. These are

14:59

the rules of the world. Yeah, and I

15:01

think it's just people being afraid to

15:03

find out that there's not a whole

15:05

lot of rules to the world. Yeah. It's

15:07

a big chaotic thing. It's like what

15:09

do you think? What do you expect? Do

15:12

you know what it's a huge planet

15:14

with all these fucking people on it? like

15:16

it's not you you want to reduce

15:18

us to animal brains and it's just not

15:20

true it's just not true we know

15:22

too much we know too much we

15:24

have buildings and shoes and shit you

15:26

know we also there's a there's a

15:29

there's a there's a thing that has

15:31

happened a lot that I've noticed in

15:33

my own life with like perfectly nice

15:35

people that I grew up around that

15:37

are genuinely they were they were kind

15:39

human beings and then they became very

15:41

very most of them conservative thing that

15:44

I'm watching on to about a lot

15:46

of those folks that were like genuinely

15:48

kind and cool to be around and

15:50

now are kind of a nightmare is

15:52

this like obsession with being like yeah

15:54

everyone's soft everyone's soft no not me I'm

15:57

not soft I'm hard I know the hard

15:59

truth I see through it all. I'm

16:01

like, what, when did it get

16:03

so bad to be soft? I

16:05

don't, and I don't even, by

16:07

the way, consider myself a particularly

16:09

soft person, but I'm not going

16:11

out and being like, fuck softness.

16:13

Yeah. I'm like, I don't, what

16:15

is that? I like soft people.

16:17

They seem cool to me. You

16:19

know, and also it gets into,

16:21

what does that, what does that,

16:23

how do you define this and

16:25

what? was that you're not soft.

16:27

Yeah. I'd be like, okay. But

16:29

when you go, my number one

16:31

thing is that I am not

16:33

soft. I go, whoa, Jay, Jesus.

16:35

Hey, whoa. That's great. Are you

16:37

happy? Because I guarantee the answer

16:40

is no. Why don't you just

16:42

go to prison? Yeah. Like, are

16:44

you accepting? Yeah, why are you,

16:46

what is going on? Can I

16:48

live here? Can I come in?

16:50

What was the journey with that?

16:52

Because learning empathy is not something

16:54

I've really thought about. It was

16:56

therapy. It was, I was, I

16:58

used to be a person, it's

17:00

not like I'm not this completely

17:02

anymore, but I was the kind

17:04

of person that I was so

17:06

raw inside that if I were.

17:08

It was indicated to me that

17:10

I'd done something wrong or didn't

17:12

understand something whatever My number one

17:14

priority was how can I make

17:16

this somebody else's fault? Yeah, it

17:18

can't be my fault. Yeah, this

17:20

has to be look around who

17:22

can I blame for this who

17:24

someone must pay? Yeah, I can't

17:26

the last thing I could do

17:28

is process this and learn something

17:30

and I was trying to live

17:32

my life like it was a

17:34

movie and it turns out that

17:36

the movies are fake Yeah, and

17:38

so this person was not going

17:40

to come around and fall in

17:43

love with me. Yeah, and it

17:45

destroyed our friendship. Yeah, and I

17:47

was so lost that I got

17:49

to point where I was like

17:51

I don't think that I can

17:53

do this on my own and

17:55

it's time to talk to somebody.

17:57

And then that I lucked out

17:59

I got somebody who was great

18:01

immediately and I was with this

18:03

therapist for I want to say

18:05

like 10 years and it really

18:07

absolutely changed my life and made

18:09

me so it got me so

18:11

much closer to being the person

18:13

that I would like to be

18:15

the person that I would like

18:17

to be the person that I

18:19

would like to be the person

18:21

that I would like to be

18:23

the person that I would like

18:25

to be the person that I

18:27

would like to be the person

18:29

that I would like to be

18:31

Yeah. You know, that I would

18:33

like people to think me, think

18:35

of me as. Yeah. And it's

18:37

not that it's not a challenge

18:39

and it's not that it's not,

18:41

um, you know, I have, I

18:44

have plenty of bad days. I

18:46

have a temper and I got,

18:48

I have plenty of, I have

18:50

depression and I take medication for

18:52

it and, you know, so I'm

18:54

not, I'm not like done. You

18:56

know what I mean? But I,

18:58

there was a relief in realizing

19:00

that I'm not done and that

19:02

it's a lifelong thing to become

19:04

the person that you want to

19:06

be. Yeah. That it's not, you're

19:08

not going to be like, oh,

19:10

I learned my five lessons and

19:12

I'm all set. Because you will,

19:14

you age, things keep changing, your

19:16

perspective on things keeps changing. That

19:18

is one of the things that

19:20

is, that I've come to really

19:22

appreciate about aging. That I'm getting

19:24

softer as I get older, you

19:26

know, I'm I'm I care more

19:28

about people and I understand I

19:30

understand people more and I'm more

19:32

about Protecting vulnerable people more about

19:34

like that's more important to me.

19:36

Yeah, then going the other way

19:38

like these kids today and all

19:40

that shit like It's good that

19:42

playgrounds are safe. You know what

19:44

I mean? It wasn't good when

19:47

I was a kid. Yeah. It's

19:49

good that we improved that. Yeah.

19:51

You know what I mean? It's

19:53

like saying seat belts are stupid

19:55

or whatever. Yeah. I really feel

19:57

like I am in a place

19:59

now where I'm... kind of, I'm

20:01

happy with myself than

20:03

I've been, maybe ever, where

20:05

as much, you know, mental

20:08

illness or whatever

20:10

self-loathing that I

20:12

can have. I really feel like

20:14

I'm able to like myself the most

20:16

I've ever liked myself. Like give myself

20:18

grace and say like, hey man, you're

20:20

doing the best you can, you're just

20:23

a person. You know what I mean?

20:25

Like you still fuck up sometimes, it's

20:27

fine. Everybody does. I think also it's

20:29

part of it is there isn't in

20:31

a bit there. There seems like there's maybe at

20:33

least in parts of the culture, maybe a

20:35

big part of the culture right now, an

20:37

inability, even just you saying like, I had

20:40

strong feelings for a person that did not

20:42

feel that way back to me. I destroyed

20:44

the friendship by, you know, living in an

20:46

alternate reality where that was going to change

20:48

or whatever. Even you saying that is so

20:50

huge and enlightened and good and necessary and

20:52

we need so much more of that from

20:54

all of us. Like, it feels like there's

20:57

an inability right now in the culture for

20:59

people to go. Oh, that thing I said,

21:01

maybe even literally five minutes ago, I

21:03

do not believe and I was

21:05

wrong. Absolutely. Absolutely. My bad. Yes.

21:07

We actually, John Marco and I

21:10

were talking about that in his

21:12

episode earlier, but the... Yeah, just

21:14

the ability to go like, we've

21:16

talked about on this show sometimes,

21:19

that sometimes I'll say something on

21:21

the show, and a guest will

21:23

say something and all immediately go,

21:25

yeah, I don't believe what I

21:27

said. I was trying that on,

21:30

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I was

21:32

trying it on, I'm sorry, I was

21:34

trying it on, I'm sorry, I was

21:36

trying it on, I'm sorry, I was

21:38

trying it on oops, I'm sorry, I

21:40

was trying, yeah, yeah. Whoops. It's a

21:43

really I what I the astonishing thing

21:45

for me was that I found out

21:47

what a relief it was. Yeah, to

21:49

say I'm wrong and I'm sorry. Yeah,

21:51

it's like it was huge weight off

21:53

my shoulders. Yeah, then trying and

21:55

then carrying it around and trying

21:57

to, you know, reluctantly sale. I

22:00

guess I see where you're coming from or

22:02

whatever. Rather than really try to see where

22:04

the cover is. Your perspective is it I

22:06

did wrong? And maybe there's validity. It's like,

22:09

no, I was wrong. I get why you

22:11

say that? Yeah, I was wrong. And now

22:13

I understand better. Yeah. And it's like, how

22:16

can you not see that as a win?

22:18

You know, to say, now I understand something

22:20

I didn't understand before. Yeah. But it also

22:22

is we're so online poisoned. telling them they're

22:25

a monster. Yeah. And it's like, if you

22:27

try to just say, and the people that

22:29

have done it with me, it's fucking worked.

22:31

When people just talk to me calmly and

22:34

say, you know, you might not have this

22:36

information, you might not know this, but X,

22:38

Y, Z. And I'm like. Okay, thank you

22:41

very much for telling me that. Genuinely thank

22:43

you. That makes sense. Yes, I get it

22:45

now. This is some of the big conversations

22:47

that when my dad was alive that he

22:50

and I had, because he was a bad

22:52

parent, and I, because he was a bad

22:54

parent, and I straight up would tell him

22:57

that, you know, I was like, you know,

22:59

you probably shouldn't have had kids. I think

23:01

he was a bad parent, you know, I

23:03

was like, you probably shouldn't have, you know,

23:06

you know, like man I regret everything I

23:08

did in your childhood pretty much and it

23:10

almost it almost hurt him more that I

23:12

wouldn't punish him like that I wouldn't be

23:15

mad at him I was like I'm not

23:17

mad at you dude I just want you

23:19

to do better for you and also for

23:22

you're currently blowing it like you're currently also

23:24

still doing bad because you're sitting so much

23:26

in this regret yeah because you're allowing yourself

23:28

it's like regret and remorse and like self-pity

23:31

I don't actually want you to sit in

23:33

that I actually just want you to get

23:35

better because we have other kids in our

23:37

family that you could be better for you

23:40

could currently be better for me as your

23:42

adult child you could also just be happier

23:44

for yourself which would be great but the

23:47

inability I think that so many people obviously

23:49

particularly and especially men just is the reality

23:51

and it's not to say that it's the

23:53

only thing going on but like there is

23:56

at least in my lived experience a lot

23:58

more of this problem with men and plenty

24:00

of it for sure but a lot more

24:02

with men yeah just an inability to be

24:05

like oh whoops yeah I fucked up hate

24:07

that it's wild how how much that those

24:09

kind of gender roles are still at play

24:12

as far as we've come and that this

24:14

year begins with a two you know what

24:16

I mean like we're into the 21st century

24:18

and we're still like puzzling over this shit

24:21

of like what it means to be a

24:23

man or whatever and We're going backwards in

24:25

a lot of senses. Yeah. Is like, what's

24:28

going on, man? Like, why? Again, I think

24:30

it's the fear of change and it's the

24:32

fear of not having things in an orderly,

24:34

you know, box of crayons where you can

24:37

see it all laid out and say, this

24:39

is what it is. Yeah. And that just

24:41

freaks some people out. It also is just

24:43

so uneven. You know, I spend a lot

24:46

about... masculinity and manhood and like my role

24:48

in all of that and like who I

24:50

am you know and when I think about

24:53

that and like obviously the relationship I had

24:55

with my dad and guys I grew up

24:57

with and being gay in Missouri like there's

24:59

so many reasons that I'm interrogating masculinity all

25:02

the time and the thing I think is

25:04

so funny is that feminism as an idea

25:06

now is becoming like almost a bad word

25:08

again. But it's like, it actually is for

25:11

us as well. Yeah. The proper application of

25:13

it. And when it's applied improperly, and you

25:15

know, some woman goes viral on TikTok for

25:18

being like, all men are lazy dogs or

25:20

whatever. And then men go, this is just

25:22

as bad as what we're doing. It's like,

25:24

not quite. You know what I mean? It's

25:27

a pretty big gap between one woman being

25:29

annoying online about making generalizations about men, and

25:31

then like the systemic constant terror that men

25:34

instill in film people. particularly women. It doesn't

25:36

make any sense to me when I'm like,

25:38

I feel so freed by feminism. I feel

25:40

so freed by the idea that that actually

25:43

a lot of the bad impulses that I

25:45

had when I was a teenager or a

25:47

lot of the like things about masculinity that

25:49

I was doing, my hardheadedness, my inability to

25:52

say that I was wrong, my dismissal of

25:54

women's interests as uninteresting because they weren't interesting

25:56

to me in that moment. And it's not

25:59

to say I'm like cured of any of

26:01

that. But all those things when they weren't

26:03

examined were making my life worse. And then

26:05

when I did examine them and realized, oh

26:08

actually society played a role in socializing me

26:10

to feel and behave these ways, which is

26:12

not to say I don't have responsibility and

26:14

autonomy and willpower to change it. feminism is

26:17

the reason that I know that. That I

26:19

go, actually, society told me that these things

26:21

are true. And it's like given to us

26:24

in the same way that it's given to

26:26

women on the other side to discredit themselves.

26:28

That was very freeing to me. Yeah. That

26:30

I was like, actually, I don't have to be

26:33

like this. And the fact that I am like

26:35

this is not only, it's a power from society

26:37

that's hurting all of us. Yes. I don't understand

26:39

why that wouldn't be exciting to be exciting to

26:41

be like, oh. This is a bad thing that's

26:44

happening to all of us and we can

26:46

stop. Yeah, and also to feel like oh,

26:48

I'm in control of my own mind Yeah,

26:50

I have I have agency I don't have

26:53

to think this I don't have to because

26:55

it's so much more work. Yeah, it's so

26:57

much more work when you when you get

27:00

that feeling of Somehow I know I'm going

27:02

against the grain of my own personality

27:05

because this has just been baked

27:07

into me from when I was born

27:09

like this is the society that I

27:11

grew up in And then you sort of

27:13

when you get the tickle in your brain like

27:15

maybe I don't feel that way maybe I

27:17

don't this doesn't make sense to me and

27:19

you know this actually sounds kind of bad

27:22

maybe and then you have now the freedom

27:24

to explore that and Understand why you feel that

27:26

way. It's great. Yeah, it's Well, it's also funny

27:28

that so much of the like the conversation right

27:30

now is like, what is the left's message for

27:32

young men? I'm like, the left's message for young

27:34

men is, should be the same as what it

27:36

is for young women. Yeah. If young men can't

27:38

get on board with that, then we have a

27:40

problem with young men. Yeah. Then we have a

27:42

problem with young men. Then we have a problem

27:44

with young men. Then we have a problem with

27:46

young men. Then we have a problem with. Then

27:48

we have a problem with young men. Then we

27:51

have a problem with young men. Then we have

27:53

a problem with young men. Then we have a

27:55

problem with young men. Then we have a problem

27:57

with young men. And then. There are things that

27:59

are different. course, but they don't have

28:01

to be. It doesn't always look that

28:03

way. And yeah, young men, when they

28:06

say that so often, I just think

28:08

they mean like we need to be

28:10

transphobic or we need to like be

28:12

violent. And I'm like, I don't think

28:14

that that, I think if you have

28:17

a political movement that's talking about being

28:19

nice to everyone everyone being able to

28:21

express themselves comfortably and safely ever being

28:23

able to afford to live a decent

28:25

and happy life yeah if that doesn't

28:28

resonate with young men then young men

28:30

are the problem yeah and I don't

28:32

I don't know what to say about

28:34

that at a certain point yeah you

28:36

know what I mean and you know

28:39

what we need to meet them where

28:41

they are I don't want to go

28:43

where they are no I'm interested you

28:45

couldn't get me to go over there

28:47

with a knife we I think we

28:50

know by now by now we can't

28:52

meet people where they are in certain

28:54

circumstances because I can't go some of

28:56

those places. It's not good. Yeah. Yeah.

28:59

Yeah. There's just things I'm not. Yeah,

29:01

there's obviously it's like we have we

29:03

have to have principles. It's like there's

29:05

things I'm not going to do. If

29:07

if you're sincerely trying to get me

29:10

to believe that all young men need

29:12

you to be transphobic and misogynistic for

29:14

them to get on board with like

29:16

lower rent and better grocery prices. left

29:18

needs a Joe Rogan or whatever I

29:21

go I don't think that we do

29:23

nobody need the right doesn't even go

29:25

like the last thing we need is

29:27

more Joe Rogans of any kind yeah

29:29

I'm just like I don't think I

29:32

don't I'm all good on that you

29:34

don't think it's gonna be Gavin Gavin

29:36

is like a guy take the fucking

29:38

mics away fucking guy with his dumb

29:41

ass haircut. Yeah and his stupid little

29:43

casual polos from fucking Ralph Lauren Yeah

29:45

sitting there and having on didn't he

29:47

have Steve Bannon on yeah, so we're

29:49

gonna. Do you have Steve Bannon on?

29:52

Yeah, yeah, Charlie Kirk. Charlie Kirk because

29:54

his son was who's 13 or whatever

29:56

was getting into this far right stuff

29:58

and he was wondering where yeah, so

30:00

we're gonna pla- his solution is. Yeah,

30:03

and talk to these guys immediately. Yeah.

30:05

Let them say whatever they want with

30:07

no pushback. Anyone... Charlie Kirk to me

30:09

is only slightly different. I don't respect

30:11

the guy or like his views. It's

30:14

slightly different because he's a media personality.

30:16

Right. So if you're gonna have a

30:18

media personality on your media show, I

30:20

think that's wrong, but do your thing.

30:22

People having Steve Bandon on their shows,

30:25

who is a political operative, who is

30:27

actively with a smile on his face

30:29

every day in the president's ear and

30:31

on the news saying, we can, we

30:34

can, actively saying these things and then

30:36

having the power to make it happen

30:38

because he's in a government position. If

30:40

you're having Steve Bannon on your show,

30:42

you are a fucking hopeless, brain-rotted moron.

30:45

I really think that. Yeah. First of

30:47

all, beyond just the danger part of

30:49

it, which is we don't need to

30:51

be giving him any more air time

30:53

to say that the election was stolen

30:56

with a pushback. But it's also, I

30:58

think we know what Steve Bannon has

31:00

to say, right? Right. Didn't we get

31:02

it. Is there any fresh stuff. Also,

31:04

just, why are we not talking anymore

31:07

about the fact that that guy is

31:09

just a failed screenwriter who found another

31:11

drift? That's all these guys, every single

31:13

one of them wanted to be successful

31:15

in Hollywood, failed because they were talentless.

31:18

And then they said, I think actually

31:20

it's, I think it's black people that

31:22

did this to me. I think actually

31:24

the third Reich would have had my

31:27

screenplay. And then they turned to fascism.

31:29

It's like, you're a talentless, pathetic, ugly

31:31

fucking loser. Nobody likes going to dinner

31:33

with you. Nobody wants to fuck you.

31:35

The only way that you can curry

31:38

any kind of favor in this world

31:40

is by being a fascistic fucking psychopath.

31:42

And now for some reason, we have

31:44

to listen to you. a huge coalition

31:46

of people who wanted certain groups of

31:49

people to like them were rejected by

31:51

those groups and then found themselves loved

31:53

by people they despise yeah I guess

31:55

I'll go with it yeah I guess

31:57

I'll go with it that's what you

32:00

look at this at least somebody saying

32:02

I love you you know it's an

32:04

orphanage for losers the right is an

32:06

orphanage for losers yeah and it's why

32:09

you look at their fucking like you

32:11

look at the crew they've put together

32:13

the back Jackdrops behind Trump are like

32:15

kid rock Elon Musk and he and

32:17

Elon Musk like stack like I actually

32:20

I left the left no you didn't

32:22

no one was fucking with you everyone

32:24

thought you were a weird bitch yeah

32:26

and it's like kid rock him RFK

32:28

like a fucking like Rob Schneider Duce

32:31

Bigelow is your political surrogate? That's when

32:33

it's time to look in the mirror.

32:35

That's the American, right? It's Duce Bigelow.

32:37

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good fucking lord. What

32:39

a pathetic bleak. And they make fun

32:42

of the left for having Beyonce at

32:44

concerts. Hey, she's good. Yeah. Her music

32:46

rocks and she's pretty. Deuce Bigelow, oh

32:48

God. Her career is an ongoing concern.

32:50

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35:05

yeah yeah all these guys who

35:07

haven't who haven't they just they

35:09

want to be creative and interesting

35:11

so bad and there's such fucking

35:13

dork ass losers if any single

35:15

one of them walked into that's

35:17

the real thing too is they

35:20

go oh we're for the working

35:22

people if any one of you

35:24

had to have dinner with the people

35:26

with anybody in Missouri, you'd get laughed

35:28

out of every single room. I could

35:30

go have dinner with a group of

35:33

farmers. We'd have a nice time. We

35:35

wouldn't agree on maybe much. But we'd

35:37

have a nice time. These people are

35:39

are socially inept, loser freaks, that again,

35:42

I can't stress this enough, nobody wanted

35:44

to fuck. And so now we have

35:46

to do concentration camps. Because they couldn't

35:48

get a screenplay funded. Elon Musk is

35:51

going to burn America to the ground

35:53

because nobody thought he was funny.

35:55

Handsome adjacent if you're not wearing

35:57

your glasses and it's foggy. You

36:00

know how many surgeries he's had

36:02

to look like a five? This

36:04

guy, he's gonna ruin democracy because

36:07

he was born to three and

36:09

then he put millions of dollars

36:11

into becoming a five. He's a

36:14

born three with dreams and delusions

36:16

of being an eight. He knows

36:18

deep down. He's not getting to

36:21

ten. So we've got a born

36:23

three dreaming of eight landing at

36:25

five. He's

36:28

got an army of twos. That

36:30

we're calling Doge. And now we

36:32

don't get to have democracy anymore.

36:34

Because the right girls didn't want

36:36

to sleep with him. Right. This

36:39

is fucking insane. Yeah. And yet

36:41

I persist. And yet I show

36:43

up to head gum studios once

36:45

a week. And put out my

36:47

little podcast. I don't get it,

36:49

dude. It's wild that we are

36:51

the people that are here for

36:53

this. You know what I mean?

36:55

Yeah, I'm not alive at the

36:57

right time. Yeah. Yeah. There was

36:59

so little history being made when

37:01

I was younger. I should have

37:03

been an adult for that. Hardly

37:05

anything. Yeah. Now it's all history

37:07

all the time. Do you know,

37:09

I don't, I feel that every

37:11

single year of my life has

37:13

been bad history. Yeah, I think

37:16

that's true. I was six when

37:18

9-11 happened and everything since then

37:20

has been not great. Yeah, yeah,

37:22

yeah, yeah. I think about, I

37:24

can mark every single chapter of

37:26

my life by a different group

37:28

of people going, oh, you know,

37:30

it was 9-11 and then it

37:32

was the economic crash of 2008

37:34

and then it was Trump's first

37:36

election and then it was more

37:38

recessions and then it was COVID

37:40

and then it was historic writer

37:42

strike, historic actor strike. Every single

37:44

part of my life I can

37:46

go. bad history. Yeah. When I

37:48

was a baby, Watergate? Then, then

37:50

pretty, pretty quiet until like the

37:53

Challenger itself. It was Watergate, chill

37:55

mode. Challenger. Shilmo. Yeah, exactly. Yeah,

37:57

Bush presidency won. Yeah, Bush presidency

37:59

won. I mean, everyone was kind

38:01

of like, we'll be fine. Exactly.

38:03

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Good

38:05

lord. What's making you happy? What's

38:07

exciting you? What are you looking

38:09

forward to? Et cetera, et cetera,

38:11

et cetera. I am looking forward

38:13

to getting back out on the

38:15

road. I still feel that there

38:17

is still that vibe post quarantine.

38:19

where people are still very grateful

38:21

for live performance. I think so.

38:23

And it feels really good. And

38:25

it's really exciting. I really am

38:27

enjoying being creative in stand-up again

38:29

because I took like a long

38:32

break from stand-up and it's been

38:34

nice and humbling to get back

38:36

into crafting material. Because man, oh

38:38

man, I really forgot like, I

38:40

forgot the vibe of doing somebody

38:42

else's show. and doing like a

38:44

little chunk of material and having

38:46

to be met with well you

38:48

don't get that you also don't

38:50

get that doing someone else's show

38:52

when you haven't done stand up

38:54

in a while it's so humbling

38:56

because you got you got like

38:58

seven to twelve minutes to kill

39:00

or die yeah and you don't

39:02

get that on ramp off ramp

39:04

exactly of your own show where

39:06

you're figuring it out and you're

39:09

getting into the good stuff yeah

39:11

it's like you're either doing well

39:13

or you're not and that's your

39:15

night I'm thinking if anyone here

39:17

in this audience knows who I

39:19

am, they're thinking, oh, he doesn't

39:21

have it anymore. I guess it

39:23

happens to everybody. He doesn't have

39:25

it anymore. Oh, it's too bad

39:27

what happened to him. No, he

39:29

used to be great. He used

39:31

to be. That's also my inner

39:33

talk. Even in my self-talk, when

39:35

I imagine someone insulting me, I

39:37

still find a way to bake

39:39

in a compliment. Do you know

39:41

what I mean? I'm like, when

39:43

I'm like, when I'm like, when

39:46

I'm imagining my detractors, I'm like,

39:48

this is my, in my head,

39:50

people criticize me by going like,

39:52

I gotta admit he's a nice

39:54

enough guy. But he wasn't funny

39:56

tonight. That's like the furthest I

39:58

can take myself. It's very unbranded.

40:00

Do you know what I mean?

40:02

I'm like, hey, I'm not saying

40:04

he's not a nice guy, but

40:06

he's ugly as fuck. You know,

40:08

like, there's always, I always am

40:10

able to build in some kind

40:12

of buffer there. I think that's

40:14

smart. I think that's smart. I

40:16

think that's smart. Like even my

40:18

biggest critics are in touch with

40:20

the reality that I'm cool.

40:23

That's what my brain is able

40:25

to do. You know what I mean?

40:27

Just like, he's pleasant enough. Well

40:29

that's so scary because it's like,

40:31

oh, the one thing I was

40:33

counting on. Like I've built my

40:35

whole life around being good at

40:37

this. This is all I have.

40:39

And for them to be like,

40:41

oh no, he achieved it, I

40:43

still don't care. Yeah. I've made

40:45

this my identity. My life's

40:47

calling. Yeah. That's worse than saying

40:50

I didn't achieve it, because then

40:52

I can just count you up

40:54

to being stupid. Just what

40:56

is it what is it amount

40:58

to yikes? He's funny a lot

41:00

of He's funny a lot of

41:02

things. Yeah, I mean I work

41:05

with guys who are funny. Yeah,

41:07

dude I just in a chill

41:09

in my whole body I just

41:11

chill through my whole body Whoo,

41:13

that's tough But it's going well,

41:15

you're feeling good about the material

41:17

now, you're like feeling bad back

41:19

in it. I feel better about

41:21

it, yeah. Okay. I'm almost at

41:23

the point where I got to

41:25

cobble together an hour and like

41:27

run it at the illusion or something

41:29

and with everybody understanding that this is

41:31

extremely rough. People like that. Into Lower.

41:33

I think they do like that. I

41:35

think they do like that. I really

41:38

enjoy I enjoy seeing other people work

41:40

stuff out and you know, I like, it's nice

41:42

to have the knowledge of what's. what goes

41:44

into it when you watch other people

41:46

do it. You know what I mean? Yeah.

41:49

Like I like, I love, I love craft

41:51

and I love, I love when

41:53

things are being put together. Stand

41:55

up is perhaps the least enjoyable

41:57

way to do it, but think.

42:00

like if you're in a play or

42:02

writing a song or something like that

42:04

I love the the the whole experience

42:06

of that of it being rough and

42:08

then it's when you that moment where

42:10

it tips you start to feel it

42:12

come together yeah you're like this is

42:14

gonna be so much fun this is

42:16

gonna be great yeah and then when

42:18

you finally get to do it it's

42:20

you feel the you feel the pleasant

42:22

weight of that whole journey and it

42:25

the payoff is that much more because

42:27

you you remember you like you have

42:29

it in your bones now of like

42:31

this was really scary at first and

42:33

it really sucked and now I'm having

42:35

such a wonderful time and now if

42:37

I go up and say these words

42:39

in this order and I'm like this

42:41

far from my face at this moment

42:43

if I do everything exactly the way

42:45

I'm supposed to there is a 99.9%

42:47

chance it will get the laughs I

42:50

love that shit so much when you

42:52

have the timing of things like that

42:54

Oh God, I love that so much.

42:56

And when you understand the mechanics of

42:58

why it works, you'll all try material

43:00

for a while and be like... I

43:02

don't really know why that part's getting

43:04

a laugh. And then one night I

43:06

won't get a laugh and I'll realize

43:08

the thing I did different. And I'll

43:10

be like, oh, it's getting a laugh

43:13

because I lowered my voice a little

43:15

bit on that one syllable. Yeah. The

43:17

whole laugh in that part of it,

43:19

that whole tag or that whole setup

43:21

working, even we have a sketch on

43:23

our current tour, like a video sketch.

43:25

It was doing fine the first couple

43:27

cities. I had a video that was

43:29

introducing the band onto the stage like

43:31

saying everybody's name and what they played

43:33

and everything and it was this video

43:35

that I got from I have a

43:38

nature cam in my house and I

43:40

have a little picnic bench for squirrels.

43:42

Yeah. And then sometimes the squirrels leave

43:44

some hazelnuts in there. Then the night

43:46

people come around. Night people are possums

43:48

and raccoons. And so I had this

43:50

great video, black and white, with the

43:52

glowing eyes of a possum, eating. And

43:54

he was moving his mouth such. And

43:56

I was like, I'm going to. to

43:58

make this talking. And so I had

44:01

him introduce the members of the band.

44:03

Of course. It was like a little

44:05

high pitch voice. And it was never

44:07

really, people are just kind of like,

44:09

huh. And then one night, his name

44:11

is Gabriel the Possum. And then he

44:13

has like a little graphic that comes

44:15

like Gabriel the Possum. This is like

44:17

the end of the tour. I'm setting

44:19

up the video and I said, how

44:21

many Gabriel the Possum fans we have

44:23

out here? And then nobody says anything.

44:26

I'm like. I don't think I heard

44:28

right how many Gabriel the positive fans

44:30

we have a couple people clap and

44:32

I'm like you got to be fucking

44:34

kidding me and I'm screaming how many

44:36

Gabriel the positive fans we have on

44:38

here everybody goes nuts roll that video

44:40

And then it destroyed. You gaslit these

44:42

people. You gaslit these fine folks. That

44:44

is so funny. It was like that

44:46

realization, I'm sorry I came to it

44:49

so late. But I was like, oh

44:51

yeah, they need some sort of context

44:53

for this, even if it's a made

44:55

up context. Yeah, if I invent context

44:57

and force it upon you. Yeah. There's

44:59

also then there's the part of, so

45:01

there's the, there's the, there's the, to

45:03

me, it's a, it's a bell curve

45:05

of horror curve of horror. trying new

45:07

material. There's the horror of starting when

45:09

it sucks. Yeah. Then there's the gradual

45:11

incline excitement of it starting to work.

45:14

Then there's that like perfect beautiful top

45:16

of the the bell that's like it's

45:18

working so great. It's hitting every night.

45:20

I know what the material is. I

45:22

know what the material is. I know

45:24

why they're laughing. I know why I

45:26

like it's saying about this and then

45:28

there's the come down where it's like

45:30

this is so in my bones and

45:32

so reliable that I feel like it's

45:34

so many times in so many rooms

45:37

that now saying it feels like I'm

45:39

cheating. Yeah, it feels like somebody else's

45:41

joke. Yeah, and it feels like I'm,

45:43

it feels like I'm lying to you.

45:45

Yeah. Because the whole part of the

45:47

whole point is to make it look

45:49

effortless. Yeah. You know? And it's like

45:51

so much effort and so much research

45:53

and so much data has gone into

45:55

you laughing right now that I feel,

45:57

I feel, I feel gross. Yeah. I

45:59

feel like I just jerked off in

46:02

front of everybody. Right? No. Okay. Not

46:04

most shows. It just depends. There's tier

46:06

levels to the tickets. Oh, that makes

46:08

sense. Some cities, people pay extra and

46:10

I'll jerk off on stage. Well, that's

46:12

nice. Yeah. Yeah. People like it. It's

46:14

fun. Yeah. It's fun having an experience

46:16

like that. Yeah. And it's tiered by

46:18

seats, too, because, of course, you have

46:20

the splash, so. Splash. People get their

46:22

ponchos off in the splash zone. They're

46:24

pongy on. They weren't pongy on the

46:27

whole show. They're sweating. Kids, anything's gonna

46:29

happen. Then for the splash, then they

46:31

take them off. I was

46:33

talking to a friend of mine who's an

46:35

actor, capital A actor, about doing like a

46:37

long run of a play. And I was

46:40

like, that must seem, that seems very

46:42

hard to me to be able to say

46:44

the exact same stuff every night and, you

46:46

know, keep it alive, you know, keep it

46:49

fresh. And he said, well, you do that

46:51

with stand-up, kind of, right? And I

46:53

realized, yeah, that is true. If you, the

46:55

best is when you can go to the

46:57

place of... what made it funny to you

47:00

in the first place. And you can feel

47:02

that feeling, you know, of like, it's

47:04

weird to have like, it's like a little

47:06

voice in your head that's like, this is

47:09

funny. Yeah, this is funny. Yeah, this is

47:11

funny. Yeah, you know what? You know what?

47:13

You know what? You know what? You know

47:15

what? Or finding, you have to find a

47:18

little ways to make it interesting to you

47:20

again. Yeah. But every night on stage I'm

47:22

improvising at least a little bit. That's

47:24

the only thing that makes it feel alive

47:27

to me. If I had to go out

47:29

and do just my set and never remark

47:31

on anything in the room, no. I would

47:33

be like, this is horrible. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

47:36

yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah,

47:38

plays, I don't know. Play would be tough.

47:40

I would like to do it. I've never

47:43

done, like I did plays in high

47:45

school. To me, the tough, the tough thing

47:47

about play is the responsibility to others. I

47:49

like being on stage by myself and knowing

47:51

that I'm only responsible to me. Wow. If

47:54

the show sucks, it's my fault. If

47:56

the show's great, it's my fault. I'm technically

47:58

responsible to the audience and then having a

48:00

good time. still it's not a guarantee it's

48:03

a live show yeah I like being on

48:05

stage alone I really it's funny because it

48:07

was when I was started in improv Being

48:09

on stage alone would feel horrifying to me.

48:12

I didn't ever want to get on stage

48:14

alone I liked the community of it

48:16

I liked having everyone in it together and

48:18

now it's the opposite I feel horrified but

48:21

now you did you you started with improv

48:23

and then got to stand up right? Yeah

48:25

I mean I was always I had

48:27

done stand up a number of times before

48:29

I really got into improv but I

48:31

pretty much abandoned stand up for several years

48:34

yeah and just focused on improv and then

48:36

came back to stand up because really once

48:38

things started taking off I was like you

48:41

need to have a solo art form

48:43

again. It was kind of out of necessity.

48:45

And then I fell back in love with

48:47

it and was like, oh my God, I

48:49

can't believe I wasn't doing this the whole

48:52

time. Yeah. When was the last time

48:54

you needed to go to a doctor but

48:56

you pushed it off? You made an excuse

48:58

like, it'll heal on its own or I'm

49:01

too busy. I'm doing that right now. Or

49:03

I'm doing that right now. Or maybe, I

49:05

don't even know which doctor to a doctor

49:08

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50:17

Y'all, Hacks is back for season four, streaming

50:19

exclusively on Max, and so is the official

50:21

Hacks podcast. A podcast for Hacks. Yeah,

50:23

it's called So True. Not

50:26

having gotten to see much of the

50:28

new season up to now, but some

50:30

of my favorite comedies of the last

50:32

few years like the righteous gemstones our

50:34

HBO shows streaming on Max. And so

50:36

I'm excited to catch up on Hacks.

50:38

Now the season four is on its

50:40

way. Now, as I said before, not

50:42

only are we getting season four of

50:44

Hacks starting the incomparable Gene Smart legend,

50:47

we are also getting a new season

50:49

of the official Hacks podcast. This is

50:51

a really cool thing HBO does to

50:53

go above and beyond for fans of

50:55

their fans of their companion podcast alongside

50:57

their groundbreaking series to get bands a

50:59

closer look at their favorite show. In

51:01

each episode host Bobby Finger and Lindsay

51:03

Weber will speak with the creators cast

51:05

and crew members to unpack the Emmy

51:07

winning comedy series Emmy winning. I know

51:09

that's right shout out Hannah hear stories

51:11

from the set get a peek into

51:14

the writers room and break down the

51:16

complicated dynamic between Deborah and Ava Guests

51:18

on the podcast will include Hannah Eimbinder,

51:20

shout-out, show creators, Lachia Anniello, Love, Paul

51:22

W. Downs, in Gen Statsky, Love, Love,

51:24

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51:26

casting crew who talk about the creative

51:28

choices that went into making the show.

51:30

Watch hacks, streaming exclusively on Max, and

51:32

listen to the official Hacks podcast on

51:34

Max or wherever you get your podcasts.

51:36

I mean, having done both now for

51:38

a decent chunk of time. I mean,

51:40

there's nothing, there's nothing better than when

51:43

a set goes well and all of

51:45

that glory is yours. Yeah. Like you

51:47

made that happen. Yeah. And it happened,

51:49

it's satisfying because it's like this is

51:51

what I wanted to happen and it

51:53

actually fucking happened and I made it

51:55

happen and I worked hard to make

51:57

it happen. Yeah. To me, it's not

51:59

the glory, yes, but even more than

52:01

the glory, it's the absence of anxiety.

52:03

Yeah. I don't have any anxiety. When

52:05

I step off a stage, regardless of

52:07

how I did, if I was up

52:10

there alone, I don't have any anxiety

52:12

about what I did two or what

52:14

I did, I don't have any anxiety

52:16

about what I did, two, what I

52:18

did. I don't have any anxiety about

52:20

what I did, two, two, what I

52:22

give any anxiety. about what like if

52:24

you and I had done a scene

52:26

that I'd be like did is Paul

52:28

happy with me right you know and

52:30

now when I when I leave stage

52:32

alone I have no anxiety yeah because

52:34

there was no one that I could

52:37

have wrong yeah yeah either the audience

52:39

had a good time or they didn't

52:41

and I can handle that but I

52:43

don't have to look at a collaborator

52:45

and be like are you happy with

52:47

me right and and trust them to

52:49

say yes or no I guess it

52:51

is easier to know when you're by

52:53

yourself if you're by yourself if you're

52:55

by yourself if you've tried your best

52:57

if you've There's so much that takes

52:59

over, well there's so much that's swirling

53:01

around your brain when you're doing improv,

53:04

that it is hard to monitor sometimes.

53:06

Am I doing the best I can?

53:08

I think it helped me that I

53:10

got to it so late, that I

53:12

was much more my own person. when

53:14

I started doing it. Improv. Yeah, improv.

53:16

Okay. And so I was thrilled to

53:18

be learning a new thing, but also

53:20

had enough experience, performing experience under my

53:22

belt that I was like, okay, I

53:24

can, I know that I, I know

53:26

that I can learn this and I

53:28

know that I can be generous because

53:30

I do like to work with other

53:33

people. That said. I bet there's probably

53:35

times I walked off stage where people

53:37

were like, they're fucking ass'le. Old steamroll

53:39

F. Tompkins over there. Yeah. Couldn't be

53:41

a normal guy for two seconds so

53:43

I could have some fun. But you

53:45

know, but the great thing about improv

53:47

for me was it taught me how

53:49

to let go of shit, which I

53:51

couldn't do before. And stand up should

53:53

teach you that, but for me. it

53:55

didn't. For me it didn't. I would

53:57

I would dwell on things and if

54:00

it didn't go well I would I

54:02

would really take that personally and really

54:04

try to figure out what did I

54:06

do wrong and I would immediately go

54:08

to a place like well it's over

54:10

for me I guess. I had a

54:12

good run. I'm cooked it's over yeah.

54:14

They didn't like that. But I got

54:16

to a point where it took it

54:18

was a huge thing for me to

54:20

get to a point where I could

54:22

laugh if I bombed. Where I can

54:24

walk off stage, you're like, that was

54:27

actually really funny. I ate it so

54:29

hard. I did a show at the

54:31

Melbourne Comedy Festival, which was great because

54:33

I got to do, I'd never done

54:35

a festival like that before, where I

54:37

got to do the same set night

54:39

after night after night and got it

54:41

so down, and I was so happy

54:43

with it. But it's one of those

54:45

things where one night I showed up,

54:47

there were six people there. You have

54:49

to do the show, you know, and

54:51

these people sat there in my memory

54:54

all of them had their arms folded

54:56

and What I did was I brought

54:58

over a stool and I sat down

55:00

and I just made it slightly more

55:02

conversational and Just went through that whole

55:04

set whole hour not a single laugh

55:06

and I just acted like I was

55:08

talking Yeah, and then like while it

55:10

was happening. I was like this is

55:12

This is pretty funny. Yeah, this is

55:14

pretty funny. I had that during, I

55:16

did a college gig once at a

55:18

town where a blizzard had rolled through.

55:20

And already college gigs, I don't, I

55:23

don't, I don't, I won't do stand

55:25

up at colleges anymore. I'll do Q&As,

55:27

but I will not do stand up.

55:29

Because half the time they won't come,

55:31

there's a better off-campus party than your

55:33

show. They didn't, it's not good. And

55:35

I, I, I. I did, this is

55:37

a couple years ago, but I did,

55:39

there was a blizzard and no one

55:41

came. They had me in a, first

55:43

of all, shouldn't, they had me in

55:45

a 2,000 seat auditorium and at that

55:47

point, I don't think I would agree

55:50

to that now. And I have a

55:52

much bigger career now than I did

55:54

then. I don't know why. would have

55:56

done it then. I did not have

55:58

the career I have now. I should

56:00

have never been in a room that

56:02

size. They should have at least turned

56:04

off the back row of lights. You

56:06

know what I mean? Huge auditorium. It

56:08

was so, so bad. No, like... Maybe

56:10

40 kids showed up. And that's like,

56:12

I think 20 of them were like

56:14

on the council that brought me. So

56:17

I'd say probably five of them were

56:19

mega fans of mine and the others

56:21

were forced contractually somehow. And I just,

56:23

I got laughs, but the whole time

56:25

I was doing the hour I was

56:27

like, this is horrible. You are not

56:29

having fun. It is hilarious. You will

56:31

never do one of these again. While

56:33

I was doing it. I'm not kidding.

56:35

There was a certain point during the

56:37

hour that I just started thinking about

56:39

how I was going to spend the

56:41

money. Because the pay

56:44

is good, you know, I was like

56:46

I was like man when you're when

56:48

you're walking around in those new shoes

56:50

So disconnected from the experience. Yeah, those

56:53

are those are tough ones good lord

56:55

I hate those. I think the improv

56:57

is the most, is the improv is

56:59

the best thing that ever happened to

57:02

me as a human being. Learning improv

57:04

the skill changed my life so massively

57:06

and it's cornball and it's whatever, but

57:08

like I would recommend to any human

57:11

being living on earth that they, if

57:13

you have the opportunity to go and

57:15

train improv for a little while and

57:17

really let it seep into you and

57:20

really buy in, which is of course

57:22

how cults talk, that. I would just

57:24

like really try it because it genuinely

57:26

did I met the coolest people I

57:29

met both of these people through improv

57:31

I met most of my closest friends

57:33

through improv and when I'm around somebody

57:35

who's taken improv training and like really

57:38

done it for a couple of years

57:40

A conversation dinner is better. Yeah, problems

57:42

are better. Absolutely life is just better

57:44

because you get so good at just

57:47

like going with the flow and and

57:49

we're learning learning how to be in

57:51

a group and it just say I

57:53

don't know it's the best. It's the

57:56

most important thing I've ever learned probably

57:58

and listening. Yeah, you know, I my

58:00

favorite thing is favorite thing in the

58:02

world is a small dinner party where

58:05

everyone's having the same conversation. You know

58:07

what I mean? Everyone's involved. Nothing fucking

58:09

drives me crazier than if I'm in

58:11

a group of people and somebody sees

58:14

me listening and they assume that means

58:16

I'm open for them? Yeah. It's like...

58:18

I'm not waiting for you. I'm listening

58:20

to her. I'm trying. Yeah, shut on.

58:23

I'm interested in this. Yeah. Why do

58:25

you, why you just assume? Yeah. Like

58:27

it's so weird. Yeah. And then it's

58:29

never, never has it ever happened where

58:32

it was something that I wanted to

58:34

hear. Yeah, it's better over here. Yeah.

58:36

It's better over here. Yeah. It's better

58:38

over here. Yeah. Also. a platonic or

58:41

professional or romantic relationship in my life

58:43

has visibly markedly improved because I remembered

58:45

some shit that was hard to remember.

58:47

Yeah. That someone just, you know, offhand

58:50

in a conversation goes, oh, I love

58:52

this kind of flower or whatever. And

58:54

then three months later, you know, you

58:56

send them that flower. Yeah. It's nice.

58:59

Or you remember that they like that

59:01

snack, like recall, listening and remembering, what

59:03

two things could you imagine are more

59:05

important to being an enjoyable person to

59:08

be around? People love it when you

59:10

do that and I love it when

59:12

somebody does it for me. Yeah, if

59:14

somebody's like I saw this and I

59:17

thought of you Yeah, that means so

59:19

much to me. Yeah, isn't that wonderful?

59:21

Yeah, thought of you? Yeah, like they

59:23

were reminded of you because they saw

59:26

this fucking dumb thing that might even

59:28

be three things removed from the thing

59:30

that Actually, you had anything to do

59:32

with. But it's like, this got me

59:35

thinking and I thought of you and

59:37

I just wanted to say hi. Like,

59:39

bring it. I love it. My friends,

59:41

one of my best friends, her name

59:44

is Ali, I've noticed since I was,

59:46

we were 14 years old. Her dad

59:48

has one of these things with me,

59:50

but it's still really sweet because he

59:53

basically, I did a show once with

59:55

Brett Goldstein, and I know Brett, you

59:57

know, Brett, Brett's around. It manifested in

59:59

my friend's dad's head and he's the

1:00:02

coolest. I love this guy. Shout out

1:00:04

Roger. But Roger, he somehow manifested in

1:00:06

his head that I'm a huge Ted

1:00:08

Lasso fan. I've never seen it. I

1:00:11

like people that are in it. But

1:00:13

now he'll call her and just be

1:00:15

like, I saw this Ted Lasso notebook.

1:00:17

Should I get it for Caleb? Like

1:00:20

in every. time it warms my heart

1:00:22

I don't want it but every time

1:00:24

it warms my heart in a way

1:00:26

that is indescribable because he thinks I'm

1:00:29

a fan of Ted Lasso yes he

1:00:31

wants to get it for me yes

1:00:33

I don't I am not and I

1:00:35

don't want it but it just means

1:00:38

the world to me that he has

1:00:40

he has latched on to something one

1:00:42

thousand percent that's the best thing yeah

1:00:44

yeah I've learned that it's very important

1:00:47

to to do that when it occurs

1:00:49

to you when you're thinking of somebody

1:00:51

like that it's very important to immediately

1:00:53

say hey I just thought of you

1:00:56

because it's never been easier to do

1:00:58

yeah you know what I mean you

1:01:00

have to get up the fucking parchment

1:01:02

and a quill like you just text

1:01:05

somebody that you haven't you haven't spoken

1:01:07

to in a year or something yeah

1:01:09

you haven't seen them and just say

1:01:11

I saw this today I thought of

1:01:14

you you know I hope you're doing

1:01:16

well whatever it's so true to you

1:01:19

Well speaking of nice, I think there's

1:01:21

more I think there's more good people

1:01:23

than there are bad people I've been

1:01:26

saying I really do say more I

1:01:28

really do I think that the as

1:01:30

much as there are people that want

1:01:32

to Make life miserable for other people.

1:01:34

I think there's Too many of us

1:01:36

for them to ultimately succeed. Yeah, and

1:01:38

I think that people care about each

1:01:40

other more than we give ourselves credit

1:01:43

for Yeah, and I think especially like

1:01:45

going through the fires here It it

1:01:47

is one of those things where you

1:01:49

become proud of a place that you

1:01:51

live in you say people are looking

1:01:53

out for each other people give a

1:01:55

shit people really care has nothing to

1:01:57

do with them It's nothing, just instant

1:02:00

sympathy and empathy. It just, there's a

1:02:02

thing that takes over where we get

1:02:04

outside ourselves and we can see ourselves

1:02:06

as a community and it's a really

1:02:08

wonderful thing. And I think that's actually

1:02:10

our default. As much as there's so

1:02:12

much shit in this world that is

1:02:14

trying to make that not our default.

1:02:17

I still think our default is that

1:02:19

we look out for each other and

1:02:21

we care about each other. I think

1:02:23

most people I have been I have

1:02:25

been saying this repeatedly lately because so

1:02:27

we talk a lot there's a lot

1:02:29

of talk lately about hopelessness and what

1:02:31

what is and is not possible and

1:02:34

I don't know I have no answers

1:02:36

I'm just a guy yeah who for

1:02:38

some reason has a little microphone but

1:02:40

I I think that most people are

1:02:42

good yeah most people are good and

1:02:44

I understand like look there's What I

1:02:46

don't understand is when I say that

1:02:48

and people are so dead said I'm

1:02:51

proving me wrong. So many people would

1:02:53

go, well you have money or you're

1:02:55

a white guy. And I go, totally.

1:02:57

There's not an ounce of me that

1:02:59

wants to refute that. I know my

1:03:01

position in the world. I'm perfectly aware

1:03:03

of my privileges. I thought about them.

1:03:05

I'm thinking about them all the time.

1:03:08

I'm on team. Everyone should get treated

1:03:10

the way that the good parts of

1:03:12

me get treated. It's not beside the

1:03:14

point, it totally affects maybe a sample

1:03:16

size of what I'm talking about, but

1:03:18

I'm also a fat person, and I'm

1:03:20

also a gay person. None of these

1:03:22

refute each other, but I'm saying we

1:03:25

all move through the world with things,

1:03:27

and I am convinced, at least in

1:03:29

my own personal experience, most people are

1:03:31

good. Most people are good. Most people

1:03:33

are nice. Because that's not negating the

1:03:35

idea that there are bad people in

1:03:37

the people that certain people have an

1:03:39

easier life than others based on things.

1:03:42

tell you that quicker than I will.

1:03:44

And I'm not rich now, but like

1:03:46

I have money, I can afford my

1:03:48

bills, I can travel and see my

1:03:50

friends and stuff. Nobody knows that better

1:03:52

than I do. I promise you I

1:03:54

lived it. I just think most of

1:03:57

the time. when you go to a

1:03:59

gas station and you chat with the

1:04:01

person working, most of the time from

1:04:03

everyone I know, everything I've seen, most

1:04:05

of the time it's like, hey hope

1:04:07

you have a really good day. Yeah.

1:04:09

That's how it is. Mostly we want

1:04:11

to be nice to each other and

1:04:14

there are a bunch of forces that

1:04:16

are making us, there are a bunch

1:04:18

of forces that make people not want

1:04:20

to do that. There are a bunch

1:04:22

of people that have been so far

1:04:24

removed from regular life that are making

1:04:26

the decisions that they have become, they've

1:04:28

forgotten what it is to be around

1:04:31

people and so they don't care about

1:04:33

the rest of us anymore. But I

1:04:35

think most people are nice and I

1:04:37

think most people are good and that's

1:04:39

why I think that they're not. The

1:04:41

evil bad people cannot win. Yeah. Overall,

1:04:43

they're getting some gains for sure. For

1:04:45

sure. They've had a couple W's lately.

1:04:48

Yeah, yeah, yeah. There are battles going

1:04:50

in their favor. Yeah. But the war.

1:04:52

Yeah. The overall struggle towards, are we

1:04:54

going to be nice, good, happy people

1:04:56

who treat each other well? Or are

1:04:58

we going to be evil, selfish, self-centered,

1:05:00

sycophantic freaks that are mean to everyone

1:05:02

who's different than us? I feel better

1:05:05

about our side. the bad people that

1:05:07

are in charge right now are all

1:05:09

incompetent and stupid. Yeah. And they're not

1:05:11

going to be able to do as

1:05:13

much damage. They're going to do a

1:05:15

lot of damage. They're not going to

1:05:17

be able to do as much permanent

1:05:19

damage as they think they're going to

1:05:22

do. Yeah. Because they don't know what

1:05:24

the fuck they're doing. Yeah. You know,

1:05:26

and thank God, you know, but I

1:05:28

don't think it's going to go. I

1:05:30

don't see the purpose in just reveling

1:05:32

in the doom of it all. And

1:05:34

even like online, I got to a

1:05:36

place where it's like, I don't want

1:05:39

to just repose shit that's like, here's

1:05:41

another horrible thing that's happening. And if

1:05:43

I'm gonna share somebody else's message, it's

1:05:45

gonna be, here's somebody who's fighting back,

1:05:47

here's somebody who's doing a different thing,

1:05:49

here's somebody who has courage in the

1:05:51

face of this, here's somebody who's not

1:05:53

acknowledging that this dumb shit is real.

1:05:56

I just want us all to realize

1:05:58

that there is... We

1:06:00

I mean I don't know if we

1:06:02

have time to get into the revolution.

1:06:04

Hey look man. How long the studio

1:06:06

lights stay on? People are getting pushed

1:06:08

people are getting pushed and I also

1:06:10

think that we're we're on the cusp

1:06:12

of things being so bad that I

1:06:15

think some of I don't think we

1:06:17

can go back to doing things the

1:06:19

old way. Yeah. And I don't know

1:06:21

how that's going to manifest itself, but,

1:06:23

you know, it's, it'll be, let me

1:06:25

just say, will be wild. Yeah. I

1:06:27

think, I think you're right, I think

1:06:29

we're past the point of no return

1:06:31

on a lot of stuff, and now

1:06:34

we need to find a new way

1:06:36

to do life. Yeah. I think even,

1:06:38

I get inspired by so many things,

1:06:40

but even, I mean I talk about

1:06:42

the tenant union in Kansas and Kansas

1:06:44

City all the tenant union and Kansas

1:06:46

City all the all the One of

1:06:48

the only things, it is the source

1:06:50

of my hope, it is the reason

1:06:53

I feel politically hopeful right now, even

1:06:55

though I would totally hear the argument

1:06:57

of so many people that are like,

1:06:59

no, I'm hopeless. It is the source

1:07:01

of my hope because I know what's

1:07:03

possible and I believe in the people

1:07:05

who are working in the tenant union

1:07:07

in Kansas City so intensely, and if

1:07:09

they're telling me a better world as

1:07:12

possible, I believe them. And even like

1:07:14

when, you know, when eggs were fucking,

1:07:16

I mean, tenant union in Kansas City

1:07:18

bought eggs directly from a farmer and

1:07:20

sold them at cost at their meetings

1:07:22

like and if you couldn't afford it

1:07:24

I think there was like an option

1:07:26

to just take some but like stuff

1:07:28

like that where I'm like that is

1:07:31

a real practical everyday solution that no

1:07:33

one in the government can figure out

1:07:35

yeah but our neighbors figured it out

1:07:37

for each other yeah that's what I

1:07:39

believe in and I think it's possible

1:07:41

the government yeah it's like we're gonna

1:07:43

have to that's the thing is we're

1:07:45

gonna have to yes the government is

1:07:48

a thing that I would progressive, bleeding

1:07:50

heart, you know, whatever, sissy liberals like

1:07:52

me. I would love if we could

1:07:54

figure out a way to get more

1:07:56

people on board with our message because

1:07:58

I think it's a better world for

1:08:00

all of us. But yeah, we're going

1:08:02

to have to do a lot of.

1:08:04

for ourselves. Yeah, it's funny. I think

1:08:07

about I think about Catholicism a lot.

1:08:09

Were you raised Catholic? No, but I

1:08:11

think that they were like Catholics were

1:08:13

on like the cutting edge of like

1:08:15

social good. They were opening fucking they

1:08:17

were opening fucking houses for the unhouse.

1:08:19

They were feeding the Catholics had a

1:08:21

real strong stake in like social justice.

1:08:23

Yeah. And now a lot of these

1:08:26

right wing religious movements have devolved into

1:08:28

like Boys can't wear skirts. Yeah. It's

1:08:30

like, what? Yeah. That's where you guys

1:08:32

landed? Yeah. What happened to the feeding

1:08:34

the poor thing? We actually hate the

1:08:36

unhouse. Yeah, we're over that? Yeah, the

1:08:38

unhouse, the unhouse topic is where you

1:08:40

can find a whole bunch of people

1:08:42

who are otherwise liberal telling the truth.

1:08:45

Oh man, I, so many people that

1:08:47

I was like, oh, okay. Couple tents

1:08:49

pop up on the sidewalk and things

1:08:51

change quick. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

1:08:53

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I live in America.

1:08:55

There's like, there's camps all over my

1:08:57

neighborhood. They're all over the place. Like,

1:08:59

what, if you live in Bel Air,

1:09:01

maybe, but if you don't, there's no

1:09:04

part of a major city that is

1:09:06

untouched by this. So I don't want

1:09:08

to hear about how hard it is

1:09:10

for you. I've also seen this really

1:09:12

funny line of conservative reasoning lately that's,

1:09:14

or this argument, this really racist fucked

1:09:16

up thing they're saying lately, the new

1:09:18

one, where they're like, Pretty much all

1:09:20

of American life is just seeing how

1:09:23

far you can get away from major

1:09:25

cities because of diversity and integration. Like

1:09:27

they're basically saying, because we integrated, now

1:09:29

everyone's fleeing the cities. I'm like, more

1:09:31

people live in major cities in this

1:09:33

country than. don't like we if you

1:09:35

if we had a true democracy and

1:09:37

we just voted based on everybody's individual

1:09:39

vote yeah it your guy would never

1:09:42

see the inside of another government building

1:09:44

for the at least 400 years yeah

1:09:46

so I don't understand that when they're

1:09:48

like oh this everyone's out of the

1:09:50

cities I'm like no actually most people

1:09:52

are going to the cities yeah and

1:09:54

they also can't tell the truth is

1:09:56

that if anyone's leaving a city because

1:09:58

they can't afford it right because of

1:10:01

you right Yeah, yeah. Well, if we

1:10:03

were in charge, everything would be fixed,

1:10:05

I think. It's so true. It's so

1:10:07

true. I really do. Virginia is obsessed

1:10:09

with this one clip of the podcast

1:10:11

where we're talking about hope. And I

1:10:13

go, can I just say, I feel

1:10:15

more hopeful than ever? And I think

1:10:17

Chance goes, someone goes, really? And I

1:10:20

go, I really do. And the way

1:10:22

I say it, Virginia brings it up

1:10:24

five times a day on tour. She

1:10:26

loves it. She loves it. What? I

1:10:28

have a segment for you. Yeah brother,

1:10:30

you didn't think you were going to

1:10:32

have to lock in, but guess what?

1:10:34

I forgot. You know it's so funny,

1:10:36

when we started kind of concepting this

1:10:39

podcast a little over a year ago.

1:10:41

this segment was kind of a throwaway

1:10:43

idea of like how maybe we'll do

1:10:45

that a couple times now we've learned

1:10:47

on the live tour it is everybody's

1:10:49

favorite thing on the live tour we

1:10:51

set up to do the true false

1:10:53

people start screaming they know the setup

1:10:55

yeah they love the true false it

1:10:58

you can't listen to it and not

1:11:00

get invested in it because you're trying

1:11:02

to answer along you want to play

1:11:04

yeah yeah yeah yeah it's very yeah

1:11:06

I I This kind of thing it's

1:11:08

also I don't know look at this

1:11:10

I don't I'm not looking at it

1:11:12

I'd never think of myself as a

1:11:14

competitive person Yeah, until I do something

1:11:17

like this. Yeah, then you're like oh,

1:11:19

and it's like I have to be

1:11:21

good at this. I'm dark-sided. Yeah, fucking

1:11:23

after midnight I lost on after midnight.

1:11:25

That's humiliating. It's fake and it's it's

1:11:27

it feels bad Bob the drag queen

1:11:29

called me a boomer And

1:11:31

I think he really thought that.

1:11:34

I think he really thought it.

1:11:36

Bob the Drag Queen called me

1:11:38

a boomer. Yeah. God is so

1:11:40

god damn... You know what? I

1:11:42

was in a hotel room with

1:11:44

Mateo Lane and Nick Smith recently

1:11:47

in Charlotte and they called Bob

1:11:49

to chit-chat and they go, we're

1:11:51

here with Caleb, Bob goes, Caleb,

1:11:53

who? There's not a million of

1:11:55

us. From the Bible? In our

1:11:57

circle? Oh, it hurt deeply. But

1:12:00

we're trying to have Bob back

1:12:02

on the show. So we'll address

1:12:04

that when they come back. When

1:12:06

she comes back. Are you ready?

1:12:08

Yes. True or false? I'm going

1:12:10

to read you 15 statements. You're

1:12:13

going to tell me as quickly

1:12:15

as you can if you think

1:12:17

what I just said is true

1:12:19

or false. If you get 10

1:12:21

or more correct, Paul, we're going

1:12:23

to give you $50 US dollars.

1:12:26

Mountain Lions can whistle. False. United

1:12:28

partial service. The Toys giraffe's first

1:12:30

name is Jeffrey. True. True. The

1:12:32

first zoo in the United States

1:12:34

was in Boston. False. False. It

1:12:36

was Philadelphia. Jingle Bells was originally

1:12:39

written for New Year's Eve. True.

1:12:41

False, Thanksgiving. Jellyfish can clone themselves.

1:12:43

True? True. The first Anchor Man

1:12:45

movie came out in 2006. False.

1:12:47

False was 2004. Spiders cannot regrow

1:12:50

lost legs. False. False. They can.

1:12:52

Temple University's mascot is Longfellow the

1:12:54

Owl. True. False. What's his name?

1:12:56

Are you fucking kidding me? H.O.

1:12:58

H.O.T.O. Hooter T.O. Hooter T.O. The

1:13:00

word utopia comes from a Greek

1:13:03

word meaning no place. True. That

1:13:05

is true. H. John Benjamin is

1:13:07

six feet tall. False. False. False,

1:13:09

five six. It snows metal on

1:13:11

Venus. False. It's true. Ocean algae

1:13:13

produces 75% of the Earth's oxygen.

1:13:16

True. True. Bishop McDevid High School

1:13:18

newspaper was called the realm. False.

1:13:23

False it was? I can't remember. The

1:13:26

royalist. The royalist. The realm was the

1:13:28

yearbook. Sarah Michelle Geller has a black

1:13:30

belt in Taekwondo. True. That is true.

1:13:33

How do you do? Oh! Oh! Oh!

1:13:35

What, that was a master class in

1:13:37

being locked in. Oh. A lot of

1:13:39

our guests. They dilly, Dally, Dally, Paul.

1:13:42

They're dilly-dow-yers. You can't dilly-dow. You need

1:13:44

to lock in. You need to lock

1:13:46

in. You need to lock in. And

1:13:49

I make it so clear in the

1:13:51

setup. You get mentally ill gay people

1:13:53

in here. And they're all over the

1:13:56

god damn math. We needed a boomer.

1:14:00

to come and lock in. It only

1:14:02

hurts 90% ideologically. The other 10% is

1:14:04

pure age. Just, yeah, that's just aesthetics.

1:14:06

You thought? That is so funny. I

1:14:08

did have a moment when you said

1:14:10

Watergate and the challenge are exploding. I

1:14:12

said, oh boy. You're like trying to

1:14:14

do some math. I said, hold on.

1:14:16

Where are we at? Where are we

1:14:18

at? When did those happen? I'm about

1:14:20

at a dates. So maybe I'm like

1:14:22

Bob. Bob the Drag Queen called me

1:14:24

a boomer is one of the funniest.

1:14:26

I don't know why that cracks me

1:14:28

up so hard. It's hard to say.

1:14:30

It's hard to say. It's hard to

1:14:32

say. Well, it's been an absolute delight.

1:14:34

It's been a delight on my end.

1:14:36

Is there anything that you want to

1:14:38

tell the people where they can find

1:14:40

you where they can buy tickets, etc.

1:14:42

Go to Paul F. tompkins.com.com. and come

1:14:44

out and see us on tour. And

1:14:46

also, I'm proud to say that the

1:14:48

tickets are very reasonably priced. We try

1:14:50

to keep it low for the people.

1:14:52

We want to bring entertainment to the

1:14:54

people. That's actually huge because, you know,

1:14:56

I will say, artists, we get an

1:14:58

opportunity to talk, we get it to

1:15:00

be in conversations about ticket pricing. We

1:15:02

also get to be in conversations about

1:15:04

merch sizes. And if you are selling

1:15:06

merch, I am begging you to tell

1:15:08

your merch provider, You want three, four,

1:15:10

five, and six. Stop stopping at two.

1:15:12

Get the fat people some love. And

1:15:14

also keep your ticket prices low when

1:15:16

you can. That's a beautiful word. We

1:15:18

kept it at three. Three X. Yeah,

1:15:20

that's better. We had a ton left

1:15:22

over I would love three X's. Yeah

1:15:24

I know that's what happens But a

1:15:26

pre-order can help too. That's the thing

1:15:28

is I'm asking anybody who does merge

1:15:30

if you're worried about that if you're

1:15:33

like oh fuck We're gonna make all

1:15:35

these and they'll be left over do

1:15:37

a pre-order if you're going to make

1:15:39

all these and they'll be left over

1:15:41

do a pre-order if you're already doing

1:15:43

all these and they'll be left over

1:15:45

World Series winners. Yes, them

1:15:47

wear a a five X for

1:15:49

What's it shirt. What's it

1:15:51

you with a

1:15:53

belt? What a couple

1:15:55

of them what

1:15:57

a couple of them

1:15:59

huddle up under

1:16:01

that a couple of them huddle up

1:16:03

under that thing. Yes. it

1:16:05

to Estonia and let those kids

1:16:07

let those kids hide

1:16:09

under there with

1:16:11

my compliments With my

1:16:13

compliments. We love you.

1:16:15

Thanks for being on.

1:16:17

Thank you Thank you.

1:16:19

was was a podcast