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Welcome to Soapbox Junkie with

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Shanti , a podcast for

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recovery , healing and transformation

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where we talk openly and honestly

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about daily issues , the hurdles

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we face and getting the best out of situations

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sent to challenge our results . So

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in a previous podcast we delved

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into a personal story which was

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all mine and it was quite dark at times

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. My addiction uncovered the

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trials and tribulations of relationships

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and friendships under pressure , a

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childhood and family life that was very

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damaged , and the setbacks and the hardship

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of a massive life change that needed to

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happen . Now . This got me thinking

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that there is so much good stuff going

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on in life daily , but what does

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it take to keep it that way ? What

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do we concentrate on to make sure life works

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out for us and keeps us wanting

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to live ? We have seen the rock

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bottom and the depths of wanting it all

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to end , sometimes including for

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some of those horrible suicidal thoughts that

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come with addiction . And

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so I start with the biggest feeling that keeps

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me motivated , especially

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when things are hard and I think of throwing

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the towel in The most underrated

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thing we don't give credit to , and

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that has been life changing for me gratitude

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. I know that since I've found this

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and acknowledged it , it has multiplied

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in abundance daily . I think

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it's become a habit for me to look at the good

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now and everything which is so strange

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, and it got me to thinking did I ever

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have gratitude like this before

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? Because towards the end of my addiction

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I didn't love anything and I

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know that I didn't have it like this . I

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do remember when I used to see all those grateful

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posts online . I'd be like oh really

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, is anyone that happy with life ? Honestly

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, what wanker posts . But

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when I got sober I was obviously looking

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for things to grab onto everywhere and

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anywhere , because I was so lost

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. I think if I had to go back to

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December last year at my first ever meeting

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, the thing that I noticed first

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when I walked into the room was the overwhelming

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laughter , and once I became

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a regular , everyone was always so positive

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and grateful And when sharing stories

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, it was always what good came

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out of it , no matter how awful

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the situation was . The general

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basis of every single share

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is that there is always something to be

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grateful for , and most of the time

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it was all basic being there at

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the meeting , sharing family

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, a good thing that had happened . Never

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about material issues or any

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other stuck up things , it was just about

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being alive and healthy and

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happy . It was so humbling . I

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wanted so badly what these people

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had . It was the complete opposite

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of the emptiness I felt inside Because

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my eyes and brain had been closed off for so

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long to the beauty and happiness around

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me , when I slowly started sobering

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up as the weeks went by , i

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started seeing the beauty in the most

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arbitrary of things , and

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I say arbitrary because these are

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things I never would have noticed in

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the past Rays of sunshine

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bouncing off the water on my daily walks

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, the birds singing . The

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one day I stood with my feet in the ocean

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and felt and watched the waves slowly

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lapping over my toes . I remember

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thinking , wow , that's beautiful

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. Now you can laugh at how cheesy

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this sounds , but it was like I was seeing

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all of this for the first time . I

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obviously wasn't , though . I had just

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forgotten how truly amazing

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these small things were and are

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, and this is why I will reiterate

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this is not only for the recovering

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addict , but for anyone who's battling and

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feeling down . Something

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so simple and small that made my heart

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warm and brought a smile to my face

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. Something happened inside me

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and it made me feel good . Here

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I was broken and having lost

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so much around me . Yet these small

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things made me light up . And

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so I started looking for things like this everywhere

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around me , no matter where I was , walking

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through them all and hearing the laughter of a

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random child and seeing the absolute

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happiness in their faces because they had foam

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on their upper lips from their hot chocolates . My

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dog looking at me lovingly for the hundredth

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pat of the day . This beautiful

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post of a sunrise in the morning . Small

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, beautiful things we see every day

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but that we miss because we are involved in

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our own thoughts and troubles . And

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the more I practiced it , the more I believed

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it . And the more I believed it , the

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happier I became . Now I'm

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one of those WENKA sharing people that post

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all sorts of gratitude , happiness , quotes

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and stories . I believe that sharing

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your gratitude with others is contagious

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. And you know what ? If someone likes my

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stuff and it makes them happy , then job done

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. Otherwise , scroll past

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and delete me bitches . I'm going to share

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my happiness when I see it and feel

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it . As someone amazing once

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told me , how does it get better

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than this ? I now know fully

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what she meant by that . Just

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last week I had the shittiest week . Yes

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, i still have those , unfortunately , but

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I had the choice to either live there and mope

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about it or choose how to deal with it

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. Then and there , i chose to mope

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, and I did this for a little longer than I really

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care to admit . This was caused

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by the shitty action of another person towards

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me And that took away my joy and

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happiness , which then in turn affected

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my family and the people around me , because

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I momentarily and by momentarily

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being a couple of days went back to

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being my old self . I stopped

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communicating , i started living inside

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my head again and in the situation

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spiraled out of control in me and I became

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a miserable mess . I found it

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hard to see anything good around me because

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now I was back in the old mode of

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poor me . It's such a dangerous

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place for me to go to because my

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mind starts reverting to . If

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I drank now , this would all go away

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and I wouldn't need to deal with any of this . But

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after a few days I started looking

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for ways to pick myself up and get out

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of my dying hole . I decided OK

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, i know Jim works for me , so let's

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get dressed and pull myself towards myself

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. I hadn't been to Jim for a while

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because I'd had COVID and

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then this happened with a supposed friend And

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I let this consume my life and

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I just became unmotivated to do

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pretty much anything . The scary

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thing is the slip into the state of mind

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happens so quickly And don't

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get me wrong , it's OK to feel down , it's

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going to happen . We don't want to

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put this brave face on all the time

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that everything is always OK , because

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that is also not good and it's

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exhausting and you will eventually crash

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and burn , like I did at the end of last

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year . But you cannot unpack

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in the despair and live there . So

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find that thing that you know will start the

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fire in your belly again Mine

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is Jim or going on a long beach walk . It's

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an absolute mood booster for me and

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a space for me to clear those negative

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thoughts . I have learned that these

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are my go-tos . Doing either

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of these daily keeps me sane and quite

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level headed most of the time . So

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, to start , the first step was the act

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of putting my Jim gear on , and my husband

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and I were having a conversation about Jim

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with him asking oh so you're going to Jim

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today , to which I defensively replied

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yes , and what's the problem with that ? And

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then , out of nowhere , having my 11 year old

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son shot from across the room , you

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go , mom . And I sat there quite

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stunned by his outburst of enthusiasm

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for me , and I said , thank you

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, my boy . And my face lit up and I smiled

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this massive smile , and I said

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to myself yes , you go , mom

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, look at you being a great example

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for your boy , high , bloody five . And

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then it all dawned on me in that split second

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And from that simple comment , that

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I had momentarily forgotten

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that these are the people that matter

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. This is who you need to set an example

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for , and while you don't have to be unkind

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to people that are shitty , you realize

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it is more to do with them than you And

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you can wish them well and be on your way

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. Not everything needs a reaction

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, and by me spending a few days

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moping , i had taken happiness

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away from myself and

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the people that love and appreciate me

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. Now it doesn't have to be

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Jim , i'm just using that as an

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example But I grabbed onto

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that small gesture of my boys and it

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suddenly became the biggest thing in my life

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And it turned my whole thought pattern

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around . This is something I would

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never have been able to do in the days of addiction

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and alcohol fog . I would have just lived

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there , living the same moments over

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and over and getting stuck in that merry-go-round

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of self-pity . What's learned

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from this is that next time something

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bad happens and it affects me , I

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can let it for a bit while

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I work through the emotions , But I

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need to then challenge myself to look for

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things to be grateful for in difficult

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circumstances . This

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is the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow

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and the basis of what I feel

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gratitude starts with . And once

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we grab onto this and practice it , along

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with all the other small things we are grateful

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for , it then allows you to deal

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with the difficult situations when they arise

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by looking for the good Going

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forward . While I've used this

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specific situation as an example

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, what I will take out of this is

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that they are always going to be shitty people . They

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are not going anywhere . It's how we react

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that makes all the difference in our lives

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. So , looking at most situations

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thrown our way , we are how we choose

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to approach and react to it that is going to

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determine how we handle it . If

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we let our emotions take control and take

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over , we're going to fail . Every

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time , we need to question

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ourselves why do we let the negative

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things linger when there is so much

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positive to be thankful for ? I

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read that recovery is the only high

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that keeps getting better as you do it . While

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I completely agree , because I am in the midst

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of it , if you're battling generally

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day to day , life also gets

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better if you use the right tools

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. Expressing gratitude

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is more than courtesy manners or

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being polite . It's about showing

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appreciation . When you thank

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someone , you're also practicing gratitude

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. You've noticed something good

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and you've genuinely appreciated

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it . This makes me think of that old

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saying that a person who is not nice

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to the waiter is not a nice person

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, and this really rings true here

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, because that is just the basic level

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of courtesy for someone that is actually serving

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you . And if you can't show gratitude

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at this basic level , you

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need to reevaluate . Which

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leads me into an example just

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this morning at my very busy cafe by

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Jim ordering a coffee , with a simple

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smile on my face A good morning , how

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are you ? Which then led into a conversation

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about swimming with the barista taking my

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order . He was smiling , i

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was smiling . I could see that he was happy

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that I'd acknowledged him and engaged

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with him , and that made me feel good , and

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I left with an extra spring in my step . The

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point of this , though , for me now with

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gratitude , is not only for me

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to feel good , but I hope that he started

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his day really well and he goes through

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today feeling good by one small

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act that could have an effect . Whether

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or not he did , i won't know , but

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what I do know is that these small acts

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work for me , and I'm going to carry on

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doing that because it feels good . Gratitude

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is not hard . Being truly thankful

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is not hard . Being the

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joy in simple things is not hard

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. Being thankful for your health , being

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thankful for having a roof over your head

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, sharing compliments If you

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think someone looks nice , tell them

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they look great . Not in a creepy way , though

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. If you're standing in a line and you love

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the shoes someone is wearing in front of you , tell

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them . We don't know the knock on

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effect we have in people's lives Being

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thankful for something as small as a smile

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someone threw your way . When I do

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my beach walks , i make a point of smiling

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as I pass people , and most mornings

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it's pretty busy . I never used

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to smile at people walking past . I was

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always so in my own head of chaos

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. Even though I have earphones on

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listening to music , i still smile

12:19

. Now , in the beginning I wanted

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to see how many people didn't smile

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back , and I only ever counted one . This

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now has become a natural thing for me

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. I just smile at everyone , and I believe

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these small acts build our gratitude

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. The benefits of practicing gratitude

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are endless , and you know what ? I'm

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sure you will agree The world needs

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more of this . Gratitude

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is a powerful catalyst for happiness

12:44

. It sounds so cheesy that

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you can cultivate gratitude , but

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the more you practice it , the more abundant

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it becomes . If you're battling to

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start somewhere , spend a few moments

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each morning thinking about the things in your life

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that you are grateful for . Since

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I've started practicing this , i have

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found things I never even knew I

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was grateful for . It's said

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, gratitude helps with mental illness and

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has physical benefits too . Studies

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have shown feeling thankful can improve

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sleep , mood and immunity

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. It can also decrease depression

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and anxiety . I

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know it has had the most incredible positive

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influence inside me and has hugely

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improved the quality of my life . And

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you know what ? I couldn't be more grateful

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, joshua Tongall quoted

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. It takes a lot of courage to have

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an attitude of gratitude during the dark

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times , but once you have it , it

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empowers you , and I couldn't

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agree with that quote more . It

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was my darkest times that I found

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it and it has been my saving

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grace since then . So the

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step to practicing an attitude of

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gratitude 1 . Start

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small , looking for the smaller blessings

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that may be being overlooked daily

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A chat with a friend , a smile

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from someone you don't know , a peaceful

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walk in nature . Take a moment

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each day to look around you for something

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valuable and meaningful to you

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and acknowledge it , to brighten your outlook

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and boost your mood . Once you start doing

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this , make it a daily habit . 2

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. Stay away from negative

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and ungrateful people . Now I

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lump those two together because they generally go

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together . I'm not talking about someone

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that's going through a hard time here and needs your support

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. We all know someone that , no matter

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what , is constantly ungrateful

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and negative about everything . You

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know that they should be grateful , but they only

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see what doesn't benefit them and it

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always becomes a poor , me , self pity

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party . Just like gratitude is

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contagious , so is negativity

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. Stay away . Immediate red

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flag , do not hang around . 3

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. And this is my favourite A gratitude

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photo album on your phone , shock , horror

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and half-ricken cheese ball . But you

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know what ? It's great . If there is

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a specific moment or memory that brings

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joy , add it to the album . It

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can be anything , even a screenshot of meaningful

15:04

texts or events coming up or

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past . It doesn't just

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have to be people or things . Now

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, the important thing to remember here is

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that this shouldn't cause pressure . Just

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add to it when you like and keep

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it creative and happy . Who

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knew there was so much to talk about on gratitude

15:23

. Thank you for listening to me chat about

15:25

life and , yes , i will be here next

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week again . Don't

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forget to keep sharing your stories via

15:31

email with me and , of course , i'm happy to

15:33

make an episode out of them or chat about them

15:36

or answer any questions and

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, of course , happy to do interviews . Connect

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with me on Instagram , at soapboxjunkie

15:44

, and you can use my link tree to subscribe

15:47

, connect or email me , or email me

15:49

directly on soapboxjunkie

15:51

at yahoocom . As

16:00

expressed in this podcast do not constitute

16:03

advice or services . The thoughts

16:05

and opinions are mined solely and should not

16:07

be substituted as professional or

16:09

medical advice .