0:00

It's Sophia Franklin. You're

0:02

listening to Sophia with

0:05

an F. And the

0:07

F is for

0:10

Phenomial. This podcast

0:12

is rated F. Hey,

0:14

Sophia, I feel like I'm too

0:16

old to start over. I'm 39.

0:19

I failed my x-ray program and

0:21

now I feel I have nothing

0:23

left. All I do is drink

0:25

and plot revenge. I don't know

0:28

where to go from here. That's

0:30

looking funny as shit. Oh my

0:32

God, I have been in those

0:34

moods though where like I'm just

0:36

at home drinking in despair and

0:39

like plotting some fake scenario revenge

0:41

in my head and those moments.

0:43

I am not a happy camper.

0:45

Like what I'm actively plotting

0:47

revenge is when I am

0:49

in a dark space. Bitch,

0:51

39 is not too old.

0:53

Like in no way shape

0:55

or form, if you wrote

0:57

in and you were like,

0:59

I'm 89, and if I

1:02

hear someone with the number

1:04

three in front of another

1:06

number saying they feel too

1:08

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1:10

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3:12

up everybody happy Thursday? Good

3:15

morning. Good afternoon. Good evening.

3:17

I'm your host Sophia Franklin

3:20

and Gone are the days

3:22

where I would refer to

3:24

myself as a podcaster I've

3:27

always told people that my

3:29

main Thing is my podcast

3:32

and like it still is

3:34

but I decided to Google

3:36

myself and not even for

3:39

vanity purposes. It was strictly

3:41

because I wanted to remember

3:44

this headline that this fucking

3:46

article did. It was basically

3:48

my name and then the

3:51

words gold digger in it.

3:53

But I. I typed my

3:56

name into my browser and

3:58

the first thing that pops

4:01

up is this article from

4:03

a few months ago that

4:05

I had no idea existed

4:08

about my fucking ass. Okay?

4:10

Like I had no clue

4:13

that this article existed. I

4:15

looked at Soaf and I

4:17

was like. I'm sorry, how

4:20

do you not have my

4:22

Google alerts on and how

4:25

are you not scouring the

4:27

internet every single day to

4:29

find stuff about me? But

4:32

I don't know, Daily Mail,

4:34

I don't know how you

4:37

guys did this. Like, you

4:39

guys really snuck one underneath

4:42

us and I mean, it's

4:44

kind of such a flex.

4:46

Like, the entire article is

4:49

about how I have a

4:51

fat ass. Do you know,

4:54

like, the bragging rights? And

4:56

if I were on a

4:58

dating app, like, I would

5:01

just literally have the link

5:03

to this and Mike drop.

5:06

The headline literally is Influencer

5:08

Unveil's Unbelievable Beauty Transformation. Unbelievable

5:10

Games, you guys. I'm really

5:13

happy with this article, nine

5:15

times out of ten I

5:18

want to die when I

5:20

come across anything that is

5:23

written about me, but my

5:25

ass looks good. And this

5:27

is no motivation because I

5:30

have been lacking in the

5:32

gym. The picture that they

5:35

picked for this, you guys,

5:37

like the transformed beauty. I'm

5:39

in leggings, ass looks fat,

5:42

ass looks phenomenal. Shout out

5:44

also, Noah, my personal trainer.

5:47

There's literally a picture of

5:49

me and Noah. Noah like

5:51

is not in the scene

5:54

and I'm really excited for

5:56

him. to see that. You

5:59

guys, there's no way that

6:01

it says this. Can I

6:04

read you guys a little

6:06

excerpt from this article? And

6:08

I quote, Influencer unveils unbelievable

6:11

beauty transformation after suffering from

6:13

diaper butt. This isn't real.

6:16

This cannot be real. And

6:18

why are they talking about

6:20

like my diaper butt? Like

6:23

it was actually like an

6:25

illness. Like their, their, their,

6:28

its diaper butt is in

6:30

its own quotation marks. Like

6:33

I literally was sick in

6:35

the hospital with diaper butt.

6:37

Dipper butt is just something

6:40

that I would call my

6:42

butt because it had fucking

6:45

no umft to it and

6:47

it just, it didn't lay

6:49

flat. Hence like the diaper

6:52

portion of it, but it

6:54

was like a kid who

6:57

went potty and their parents

6:59

have not changed their diaper

7:01

yet. Yes, I did used

7:04

to suffer from that and

7:06

not anymore. That was really

7:09

fun. Let's move on though,

7:11

you guys. The last time

7:14

I spoke to you guys,

7:16

I talked about my journey

7:18

quitting vaping, the amount of

7:21

positive feedback. And just the

7:23

sheer. fucking amount of people

7:26

who have reached out to

7:28

me since I put out

7:30

those episodes Has been so

7:33

overwhelming and I'm just really

7:35

really happy that I could

7:38

You know for once in

7:40

my life be a positive

7:42

influence because nine times out

7:45

of ten I'm talking about

7:47

all the other bad shit

7:50

that I you know put

7:52

into my body on a

7:55

regular basis, but I really,

7:57

really love you guys and

7:59

if you're thinking about quitting...

8:02

Fucking do it. Like just

8:04

rip the band-aid off. It's

8:07

not that that hard. It's

8:09

really not. It's completely doable.

8:11

If I can do it,

8:14

someone who really goes out

8:16

of their way to make

8:19

sure that not one thing

8:21

is even in the slightest

8:23

uncomfortable. If I can do

8:26

it, you can 100% do

8:28

it. Oh, and something I

8:31

fail to mention. I live...

8:33

across the street from a

8:36

smoke shop called Vape. Okay?

8:38

It's not even like got

8:40

Vape. It's not even Vapes

8:43

here. It's not even like

8:45

Vape Store Vape Shop. It

8:48

is a huge pink neon

8:50

sign that every single time

8:52

I look out the window,

8:55

which is 82 times a

8:57

day. I just see this

9:00

massive sign in pink bold

9:02

letters that just has Vape.

9:04

Okay? So I can fucking

9:07

work from home and be

9:09

looking at that shit all

9:12

day long. You can do

9:14

it. I promise you can

9:17

absolutely do it. And with

9:19

that you guys, I'm leaving

9:21

for Europe. in a couple

9:24

days. I'm very excited. I

9:26

feel a little bit irresponsible

9:29

because I was there not

9:31

that long ago, but last

9:33

time I was there, I

9:36

proved to myself that I

9:38

can actually be very, very,

9:41

very productive. And so I

9:43

plan to do that this

9:45

trip. Another little thing about

9:48

the trip, though, that I

9:50

was not expecting that was

9:53

kind of sprung on me.

9:55

I'm going to be meeting

9:58

the family. Like I'm meeting

10:00

the parents. I have yet

10:02

to meet anyone from my

10:05

boyfriend's family. his brother and

10:07

brother's wife were there and

10:10

his mom is going to

10:12

be there. And I'm super

10:14

excited, but I get nervous,

10:17

like I am a tiny

10:19

bit nervous to meet them,

10:22

which I think is completely

10:24

normal, but also if you

10:27

have ever felt like, you

10:29

know, their parents could go

10:31

look at my Instagram and

10:34

I have a thoughty picture

10:36

in a bikini from two

10:39

years ago when I'm like

10:41

in Kian Koon, shit face

10:43

with my friends, that I

10:46

want you to consider yourself

10:48

blessed beyond belief and please

10:51

like relish in how fucking

10:53

luck you are that that

10:55

is what you have to

10:58

worry about. You know what

11:00

I have to worry about?

11:03

influence her booty fucking diaper

11:05

butt now has like the

11:08

fat fucking ass. Here's an

11:10

ass shot. Here's another ass

11:12

shot from another angle. Here

11:15

she is bent over with

11:17

her ass in there. Here

11:20

she is spreading her butt

11:22

cheeks. Like that is the

11:24

first thing that shows up

11:27

when you write my name.

11:29

Okay, so that's number one.

11:32

If his mom has ever

11:34

decided to use the old

11:36

Google, which I'm assuming she

11:39

has, what parent wouldn't? She

11:41

sees booty, fucking fat booty,

11:44

and then right underneath it

11:46

sees Gold Digger asked for

11:49

bank account info on the

11:51

first date, which as we

11:53

know was a Fox News

11:56

article and a Fox News

11:58

segment on Fox News on

12:01

the television, where these four

12:03

news... anchors, news reporters go

12:05

around the table dissecting this.

12:08

thing that I said on

12:10

a podcast episode, which was

12:13

that I asked to see

12:15

you guys bank info on

12:17

the first day. Yeah, so

12:20

I have a lot of

12:22

shit working against me. Okay,

12:25

and then the third one

12:27

is probably like bad it

12:30

business, fucking got all her

12:32

money taken away from her

12:34

idiot. Fuckin' fourth article, Boyfriend

12:37

Pulls the Puppet String so

12:39

Fia has no brain. Like

12:42

they're, I don't have one

12:44

positive fucking thing online. That's

12:46

about to change though because...

12:49

You're never gonna guess this

12:51

one. Online shopping. Bet you

12:54

didn't see that one coming.

12:56

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12:58

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You guys, I just

15:30

found out the best

15:32

news. Some people's dream

15:34

is to like, you

15:36

know, go number one

15:38

with an album or

15:40

get married and have

15:42

kids. My dream is

15:44

to once and for

15:46

all, let the world

15:48

know. I'm a fucking

15:50

interior designer. My taste

15:52

is impeccable. It is

15:54

unique. It is... different.

15:56

It is cool. It

15:58

is all the

16:00

words, like all the fucking words.

16:03

You can't tell I don't really

16:05

work in the industry quite yet.

16:07

I'm gonna have a lot more

16:09

adjectives for you next time, but

16:12

this news outlet, which you guys,

16:14

I don't, I probably shouldn't say,

16:16

which news outlet, but. This magazine

16:18

asked if they could do a

16:21

feature on my apartment and that's

16:23

going to be getting filmed in

16:25

the next few weeks. I'm very

16:28

excited about that. The only thing

16:30

about my apartment is contrary to

16:32

popular belief. I remember when I

16:34

used to use the contrary to

16:37

popular belief in like a school

16:39

essay, I would really write that

16:41

and be like, oh, I just

16:43

fucking ate with that with that.

16:46

You guys know what I'm talking

16:48

about? Contrary to popular belief, and

16:50

I'd be like, boom, mic drop,

16:53

I just fucking, I'm walking out

16:55

of here with an A and

16:57

my AP lit course. But I

16:59

don't own my apartment. I know

17:02

I behave as if I do

17:04

own it by, hmm, I don't

17:06

know, doing serial structural changes to

17:08

the foundation of the apartment. painting

17:11

it, new windows, my wallpaper, my

17:13

fucking rules. Yeah, that's gonna be

17:15

really fun when I'm moving out

17:18

how that's gonna work. I guess

17:20

I'll just have to keep my

17:22

apartment. But one of the things

17:24

that I do feel a slight

17:27

hesitation towards doing is taking the

17:29

fans down. Okay, like they're these

17:31

huge ceiling fans and I just

17:34

know home boy, the fucking owner.

17:36

I just know that these fans

17:38

are his pride and joy. Like

17:40

he didn't want to move out

17:43

of the apartment, trust me, he

17:45

lets me know every fucking... day.

17:47

He had a move to Colorado,

17:49

but he got like a job

17:52

offer thing that he couldn't pass

17:54

up. And so he was like

17:56

exiled out of here. But he

17:59

loves this fucking apartment. And the

18:01

thing is, he doesn't understand. Sealing

18:03

fans are, A, Ugly, B. Honestly,

18:05

kind of fucking necessary now that

18:08

I'm thinking about it and when

18:10

it actually gets hot. But see,

18:12

they're not Feng Shui, okay? Sealing

18:14

fans are very opposite of Feng

18:17

Shui because they have sharp edges,

18:19

they're above you, and they kind

18:21

of give off this vibe as

18:24

like, they're a weapon and could

18:26

injure you. And that's not even

18:28

me talking out of my ass.

18:30

Like, I'm not a Feng Shui

18:33

expert, but I know enough to

18:35

know that those are a no-no.

18:37

So I don't know guys like

18:39

when they come in to take

18:42

photographs. It's like what do I?

18:44

It can't be that hard to

18:46

just kind of pull a ceiling

18:49

fan off the ceiling right? Maybe

18:51

I'll put a cover over it.

18:53

Are there ceiling fan covers if

18:55

there's not? I'm going to literally

18:58

come up with an invention. All

19:00

right guys, I think it's time

19:02

for me to jump into listener

19:04

questions because I got so caught

19:07

up in my Vape story that

19:09

I just didn't even answer any

19:11

questions. I ran out of time

19:14

and so I want to, you

19:16

know, spend some time right now

19:18

and just really, really give you

19:20

guys my sound brilliant older sister

19:23

Okay, I asked you guys to

19:25

call in and leave a voicemail

19:27

for me. So let's see what

19:29

you guys have to say. I'm

19:32

Sophia. Phyllis was here to call

19:34

the number and had to call

19:36

because I wish somebody would have

19:39

told me this when I was

19:41

in college. Is it your sign?

19:43

Yes, go out and do it.

19:45

Get yourself a sugar daddy. Actually,

19:48

a lot easier than those people

19:50

think. Let them pay for everything.

19:52

Let them buy you stuff. Wish

19:54

I did it when I was

19:57

in college. I did it when

19:59

I got out of college. Wish

20:01

I did when I was in

20:04

college to just be more money.

20:06

Have fun travel XYV, which is

20:08

leaving to my next point. This

20:10

is a funny story. I've had

20:13

two sugar daddy before. My second

20:15

figure daddy just recently, haven't seen

20:17

him in two years, still texting

20:20

me occasionally when I went to

20:22

her cat gross, but about six

20:24

months ago, he let me know

20:26

that he went away on a

20:29

trip with a girl, came back,

20:31

all his bank accounts were drained,

20:33

all of his houses were sold,

20:35

and his wife slapped him in

20:38

the face of divorce papers. So

20:40

he basically has nothing now, and

20:42

he's still claiming that he didn't

20:45

find out about his multiple girlfriends

20:47

and cheating throughout the entire tenure

20:49

relationship. But yes, I was with

20:51

a married man. However, I was

20:54

about one marriage, he was one

20:56

married and he got a karma.

20:58

And I also got a trip

21:00

to a Disney world out of

21:03

it. So just fellow sloots, go

21:05

out and do it, wish I

21:07

had to heard this when I

21:10

was just in college, like, oh,

21:12

I always want to do it,

21:14

should I do it? Yeah, go

21:16

fucking do it. Be a salute

21:19

while you're in college from all

21:21

you're young. And don't get the

21:23

fuck about it. Whoa,

21:26

whoa, whoa, there were fucking

21:28

layers to that shit. Let's

21:30

start with layer number one.

21:33

I don't condone dating outside

21:35

of your marriage or dating

21:37

someone who's in a marriage.

21:40

I love how slew, I

21:42

love you guys so much.

21:44

I love how this slew

21:46

is like. You know, you

21:49

should never date someone that's

21:51

married. I mean, he was,

21:53

but I wasn't like, okay.

21:56

You still should probably. I

21:58

mean at least try your

22:00

best to not make your

22:03

sugar daddy one that is

22:05

betrothed to someone. But I

22:07

love this advice and I

22:10

love this advice now more

22:12

than ever because the economy

22:14

is fucking shit. I got

22:17

almond milk creamer the other

22:19

day. It was nine dollars.

22:21

Okay. I went to get

22:24

a bag of grapes and

22:26

it was $13 in something.

22:28

Like shit is fucking unreal.

22:31

It's ridiculous and people are

22:33

struggling. Like everyone that I

22:35

know is you know maybe

22:38

not struggling struggling like how

22:40

I have been in the

22:42

past especially when I was

22:45

younger but I don't think

22:47

anyone's doing too hot. No

22:49

one's doing as well as

22:52

they once were. Except for,

22:54

I don't know, Chuck Basos,

22:56

but he probably isn't either.

22:59

As much as he was,

23:01

okay you guys, especially in

23:03

college. That is when you

23:06

should take full advantage of

23:08

a sugar doughty. Oh my

23:10

god, I was so broke.

23:13

when I was in college,

23:15

like I couldn't even sign

23:17

up for college courses and

23:20

would literally like go into

23:22

the class and the teacher

23:24

would be like, Sophia, I

23:27

swear to fucking God until

23:29

I see that you are

23:31

registered for this class and

23:34

you're on this list, I

23:36

cannot allow you back in

23:38

here. Like, it was, shit

23:41

was stressful. Also, I was

23:43

living in California. I couldn't

23:45

just go home. Like there

23:48

was no like, oh, just

23:50

get on a flight and

23:52

head back home. Like I

23:55

was fucking, I had to

23:57

stay put, okay? So I'm

23:59

all about this. Now is

24:02

the time to get a

24:04

sugar daddy and fuck. anyone

24:06

thinks or says about that.

24:09

I know it can be

24:11

frowned upon and people are

24:13

like, oh my God, like

24:16

it's degrading. Like you should

24:18

have some respect for yourself.

24:20

Is it degrading when you

24:23

work at the one and

24:25

only Mexican grocery store in

24:27

Utah as a cashier? And

24:30

the owner of the grocery

24:32

store literally tries to, literally

24:34

tries to frame you and

24:37

is stealing money from the

24:39

grocery store. is fucking around

24:41

with your till at the

24:44

end of the night and

24:46

like taking cash from it.

24:48

So then you have to

24:51

like go sit in a

24:53

room with the manager and

24:55

the guy that works there

24:58

is sexually harassing you all

25:00

day long and I can't

25:02

even speak Spanish that well.

25:05

Okay, I would have rather

25:07

have had a sugar daddy.

25:09

I'm pretty sure I was

25:12

fucking 15 so that might

25:14

have been appropriate. But no,

25:16

no, no, no. I was

25:19

for sure I was in

25:21

high school. That makes it

25:23

okay! As long as you're

25:26

in high school, then sugar

25:28

dyes all around you guys.

25:30

Oh my god. All right,

25:33

let's play this next voicemail.

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27:34

a situation, ship, that I

27:36

went on a date, like

27:38

one date with a year

27:41

ago back in March. So

27:43

we went on the next

27:45

day. This is the first

27:48

time I've ever dealt with

27:50

a crazy, oh, sorry, bless

27:52

you, my dog's knees. This

27:55

man's ex-girlfriends. requested to follow

27:57

me on Instagram the very

27:59

first day after our date

28:02

after our first ever date

28:04

a year ago. She has

28:06

since requested to follow me

28:09

27 plus times. She has

28:11

went to my sister's best

28:13

friend who was apparently her

28:16

cousin to ask about me.

28:18

She also met with me

28:20

on Instagram a few weeks

28:23

ago finally and she told

28:25

me that I can hope

28:27

autistic because she's also illiterate

28:30

apparently. So yeah, just thought

28:32

that would be a cute

28:34

little. Sorry, my first phone

28:37

is crazy ever. Didn't know

28:39

what existed for that level.

28:41

Thanks. Thanks. I'm gonna bring

28:44

the motherfucking gray. I have

28:46

options. Shorts back. That's what

28:48

I'm gonna do. I love

28:51

those shorts so much too.

28:53

Great, great. Peace of advice,

28:55

Lou. Okay. This is. really

28:58

fucking funny to me. So

29:00

basically, you went on one

29:02

day with a guy and

29:05

his ex-girlfriend ever since then

29:07

has been harassing you and

29:09

hit you up on Instagram

29:12

to tell you to hop

29:14

off his dick. And at

29:16

that point, it had been

29:19

like a month since you

29:21

guys went on your one

29:23

isolated date. This

29:25

girl sounds like a fucking

29:28

lunatic and normally I would

29:30

say, fucking tell that bitch

29:32

to stay in her lane

29:34

and stay in her place

29:37

and make it very clear

29:39

that she can absolutely have

29:41

him and his dick is

29:43

not anything that you are

29:46

trying to hop on. But

29:48

I kind of think with

29:50

people like this where it's

29:52

so obvious that they are.

29:55

so fucking deranged and they're,

29:57

you know, hitting you up.

29:59

and blowing up your spot

30:02

for no reason. I think

30:04

it's just gonna give them

30:06

ammo if you respond. I

30:08

think in this instance, less

30:11

is more. Let your silence

30:13

be the shit that drives

30:15

them fucking crazy. And if

30:17

she doesn't stop, you can

30:20

either ignore it or maybe

30:22

give her something to talk

30:24

about and go on a

30:26

second day. Maybe do hop

30:29

on the dick. Because right

30:31

now when you're not doing

30:33

it that seems to occur

30:35

so You're gonna get shit

30:38

on anyways might as well

30:40

enjoy the penis which must

30:42

be magical because why else?

30:44

Would you? Spend time and

30:47

energy harassing someone who went

30:49

on one date with your

30:51

dude women Please listen to

30:53

this I've said it before

30:56

but I haven't said it

30:58

for a while you need

31:00

to get upset with your

31:02

man. Okay? The girl that

31:05

your man decided to fuck

31:07

you over with has nothing

31:09

to do, does not owe

31:12

you anything. She does not

31:14

owe you anything. He probably

31:16

fucking lied and said that

31:18

he was 100% single and

31:21

is not dating anyone. Get

31:23

mad at the guy. Like

31:25

you getting mad at the

31:27

girl doesn't do shit. Okay.

31:30

No, for another voicemail. Hey,

31:32

is your refrigerator running? Because

31:34

you better go catch up.

31:36

You guys. You know what?

31:39

That voicemail. If there was

31:41

just any sexual innuendo thrown

31:43

in there is an exact

31:45

replication of my Snapchat. You

31:48

guys have no fucking clue.

31:50

I will do these listener

31:52

Q&As on Snapchat. And I

31:54

should probably do them on

31:57

Instagram, but I only like

31:59

to do them on Snapchat

32:01

because Snapchat is the wild

32:03

wild fucking west. And I

32:06

can post a picture of

32:08

like my toenail and it's

32:10

cool. Like it's like good

32:13

to be posted, good to

32:15

go. No one gives a

32:17

shit. There's no curating involved.

32:19

But the questions that I

32:22

do get during the Q&As,

32:24

I will get some like

32:26

seriously insightful incredible questions. And

32:28

then I get, this is

32:31

probably like close to fucking

32:33

at least 30% of the

32:35

questions are just from like

32:37

these horny random dudes. They

32:40

asked me really cute things

32:42

like, do it far? Guys,

32:44

I posted a picture of

32:46

me in a bikini, and

32:49

then I wrote over it

32:51

saying, hey guys, write in

32:53

your questions. So when they're

32:55

writing in their questions, it's

32:58

a reaction to the photograph.

33:00

Someone wrote in Do It

33:02

Fart. And then the week

33:04

after they wrote Do It

33:07

Poop. Do It Fart. Talking

33:09

about me and my bowel

33:11

movements. Do it Fart. Like

33:13

it's the most degrading, horrifying

33:16

shit and for whatever super-fucked-up

33:18

reason and I need to

33:20

speak to my therapist about

33:23

it. I find it to

33:25

be so funny. I don't

33:27

know why. And I feel

33:29

like I'm taking feminist back,

33:32

however many fucking years, but

33:34

do it far. No, not

33:36

really. But it does other

33:38

stuff. It reads. books, ass

33:41

feelings. Okay, let's jump into

33:43

our next one. Oh my

33:45

God. Hi, Sophia. Okay. Sorry,

33:47

I'm talking quietly. And I'm

33:50

whispering into the phone because

33:52

I stepped out of work

33:54

because I want to get

33:56

your advice on something. feel

33:59

like generally my anxiety and

34:01

depression is manageable and I'm

34:03

doing all the things and

34:05

I'm in therapy and trying

34:08

to live my best life

34:10

and have a good community

34:12

around me. But in the

34:14

mornings I wake up with

34:17

the most intense feeling of

34:19

dread and sadness and I

34:21

don't know what it is.

34:23

I just wake up and

34:26

don't want to be. a

34:28

part of the world and

34:30

not in like a scary

34:33

way. It's just I don't

34:35

wake up feeling optimistic or

34:37

even like myself. It's just

34:39

like this cloud over me.

34:42

And I know that the

34:44

best thing is probably just

34:46

to like jump out of

34:48

bed. But how do I

34:51

remind myself that life is

34:53

good when I wake up

34:55

in the morning and just

34:57

feels so drained and like

35:00

I can't do anything. Love

35:02

you. Love you too, Sloo.

35:04

Really incredible question. I used

35:06

to have this problem. Now,

35:09

I like to have my

35:11

existential bouts of dread at

35:13

night, but I used to

35:15

get them first thing in

35:18

the morning. And I think

35:20

it's incredibly common because you're

35:22

waking up. and you're waking

35:24

up to who knows what.

35:27

the entire day ahead of

35:29

you. You're waking up from

35:31

this cozy, comforting, safe cocoon.

35:34

And then it's like, the

35:36

sun's out and people have

35:38

been up since 5am and

35:40

have already worked four hours.

35:43

And what are you gonna

35:45

wear today? Are you gonna

35:47

eat? Are you gonna be

35:49

late? Are you still tired?

35:52

I fucking bet you're still

35:54

tired because all of us

35:56

are like, like, it's jarring.

35:58

And that's not even taking

36:01

into account the... actual physical

36:03

things that go on. Isn't

36:05

it like your cortisol levels

36:07

like you wake up with

36:10

them already through the roof

36:12

and then they don't come

36:14

back down or balance out

36:16

until you've been awake for

36:19

15-20 minutes? Don't quote me

36:21

on that time frame, but

36:23

I know that your cortisol

36:25

levels are pretty crazy. And

36:28

I know that Andrew Hooverman,

36:30

the podcaster extraordinaire, and also

36:32

PhD director of neuroscience at

36:34

Stanford, who also just has

36:37

a ginormistic, don't ask me

36:39

how I know that. But

36:41

Dr. Hooverman has said that

36:44

you shouldn't drink coffee or

36:46

have caffeine until you've been

36:48

awake for, I don't know,

36:50

20 minutes to an hour

36:53

or something like that. Godspeed

36:55

and fuck off like that's

36:57

not happening like part of

36:59

the reason that I can

37:02

even Physically get out of

37:04

my bed and walk into

37:06

my kitchen is because I

37:08

know There's gonna be a

37:11

hot cup of coffee for

37:13

me Side no, I don't

37:15

like iced coffee And I

37:17

know that that is Gonna

37:20

not sit well with people.

37:22

I mean, I'll get one,

37:24

but even when it's super

37:26

hot outside I just prefer

37:29

a hot coffee. I don't

37:31

know why I've that's just

37:33

what I like and And

37:35

then I add about 10

37:38

grams of sugar, which is

37:40

in my non-dary creamer, okay?

37:42

Right now I have coffee

37:44

butter, coffee butter creamer, you

37:47

guys. So yeah, that right

37:49

there, it sounds simple, it

37:51

sounds like it wouldn't make

37:54

a difference, but little things

37:56

that you can look forward

37:58

to in the morning are

38:00

going to make. all of

38:03

the difference in the world.

38:05

Because if all you have

38:07

to look forward to in

38:09

the morning is shit that

38:12

you don't enjoy, that's just

38:14

gonna like further the anxiety.

38:16

It just, it makes it

38:18

worse. And I love how

38:21

this Leo talked about, she

38:23

kind of has this paralysis

38:25

and doesn't even want to

38:27

do the scary thing, which

38:30

is just get out of

38:32

bed. Because it is fucking

38:34

scary. Especially if you have

38:36

your room cranked to 67

38:39

degrees because my landlord will

38:41

not let me go any

38:43

further under the 67 degree

38:45

range. There's literally a child

38:48

lock on the apartment I

38:50

spend a disgusting amount of

38:52

money for each month, but

38:55

it's freezing and the cup

38:57

of coffee is what gets

38:59

me walking. And because in

39:01

my brain I'm like, I

39:04

feel like shit, I feel

39:06

miserable, this coffee is going

39:08

to counteract this fatigue and

39:10

is going to get me

39:13

going. So it tastes good,

39:15

it's going to physically, you

39:17

know, get my heartbeat racing,

39:19

because that's what you should

39:22

do when you have anxiety

39:24

is chug as much caffeine

39:26

as you possibly can. That's

39:28

what it is. I also

39:31

started... a morning routine, I

39:33

could do an entire episode

39:35

about it, I probably will,

39:37

but biggest... biggest part of

39:40

the morning routine that had

39:42

the biggest impact, and I've

39:44

been doing it ever since,

39:46

meditation. And the best part

39:49

about meditation is you don't

39:51

have to leave your bed.

39:53

That's how I started doing

39:55

it. I would be like,

39:58

I'm crippling anxiety. I don't

40:00

want to move. Okay, can

40:02

you grab your phone? I

40:05

know you can grab your

40:07

phone because I also know

40:09

every single person listening right

40:11

now is fucking doom scrolling.

40:14

You can wake up and

40:16

just, it's the first thing

40:18

that you hear, is like

40:20

this super soothing, calming voice,

40:23

and I think that is

40:25

gonna make all the difference

40:27

in the world, all the

40:29

fucking difference in the world.

40:32

And even now, sometimes I'll

40:34

be like, I don't fucking

40:36

feel like meditating, I don't

40:38

wanna sit still for 10

40:41

minutes. You're gonna do it

40:43

anyways. You're literally just gonna

40:45

lay there fucking dreading the

40:47

day for 10 minutes. Like

40:50

meditation does not require you

40:52

to do anything. It's not

40:54

like working out or you're

40:56

gonna have to physically exert

40:59

yourself. So it's like, why

41:01

not just do it? That

41:17

was really fucking fun

41:19

you guys. I kinda

41:21

wanna pick it old

41:23

school and I wanna

41:25

go back to the

41:27

written word. And I'm

41:29

gonna read some questions

41:31

that you guys wrote

41:33

in, which reminder you

41:35

guys, if you wanna

41:37

leave me a voicemail.

41:39

Or if you want

41:41

to write in a

41:43

question, I'm going to

41:45

have a link in

41:47

the description of this

41:49

episode for you guys.

41:51

Okay. Hi, Sophia. I

41:53

found a blue-too wrapper

41:55

in my boyfriend's pocket,

41:57

but I don't know

41:59

if he would feel

42:01

comfortable with me bringing

42:03

it up to him.

42:05

Should I just ignore

42:07

it? and be glad

42:09

he's doing what it

42:11

takes to make me

42:13

happy question mark? Neither.

42:15

Okay? I do it

42:17

burp though, yes, because

42:19

it just did into

42:21

the microphone. Blue Chew

42:23

wrapper. If y'all don't

42:25

know what a blue

42:28

Chew is. A blue

42:30

Chew is a form

42:32

of ED medication. ED

42:34

standing for erectile dysfunction.

42:36

which means he can't

42:38

get the dick up,

42:40

basically. And you're wondering

42:42

if you can bring

42:44

it up to him

42:46

because it's not something

42:48

he's openly discussed with

42:50

you. No. My vote

42:52

is no, because there

42:54

is a way to

42:56

bring up literally anything

42:58

on this planet in

43:00

a discrete. roundabout, not

43:02

direct way. And if

43:04

that doesn't sum up

43:06

my life and in

43:08

fucking a few words

43:10

right there, I am

43:12

very rarely just direct

43:14

about something and I'm

43:16

trying to work on

43:18

it. But with something

43:20

as sensitive as this,

43:22

don't be direct. There

43:24

is a way for

43:26

you to bring it

43:28

up casually and conversation.

43:30

For me, what I

43:32

like to do? is

43:34

I like to talk

43:36

about things as if

43:38

they are about someone

43:40

else and then we'll

43:42

direct the question to

43:44

the person, right? So

43:46

for example, if I

43:48

were in this situation,

43:50

I would probably say,

43:52

I want to try

43:54

Viagra because I've heard

43:56

that Viagra or pills

43:58

similar to Viagra, actually.

44:00

Aren't just for dudes

44:03

and they can make

44:05

girls super horny I

44:07

really going to have

44:09

to talk about it.

44:11

But... Yeah, ED is

44:13

a really sensitive thing

44:15

and the last thing

44:17

that you should be

44:19

doing is making a

44:21

big deal out of

44:23

it because it's really

44:25

not a big deal

44:27

and because it can

44:29

be such a mental

44:31

thing that that will

44:33

just make it even

44:35

harder. Okay, Sloo, you

44:37

got this. Next question.

44:39

Hey, Sophia, I'm going

44:41

to see my boyfriend

44:43

for the first time

44:45

in a few months.

44:47

What's the best surprise

44:49

I can do for

44:51

him? Okay, so you

44:53

haven't seen each other

44:55

in months and you

44:57

want to do something

44:59

special for him. This

45:01

is where I have

45:03

to strongly disagree. As

45:05

someone who is in

45:07

a relationship where we

45:09

don't even go months

45:11

without seeing each other,

45:13

but we definitely go

45:15

weeks. My favorite

45:17

part about it is I am

45:20

the fucking surprise. I don't have

45:22

to spice things up. I don't

45:24

have to do any surprises. I

45:27

don't have to do anything special.

45:29

I don't have to try. I

45:31

just have to like get on

45:34

the airplane and arrive. I am

45:36

special. You haven't seen me in

45:38

a while. So just my presence

45:41

is all you need. And my

45:43

vagina. Oh my God. Like you

45:45

haven't. you know, put your penis

45:48

in a vagina and it hasn't

45:50

been, I'm saying it hasn't been

45:52

mine. There are people who don't

45:55

cheat. I am learning. I am

45:57

just wrapping my brain around it.

46:00

You haven't felt my vagina

46:03

in however many weeks. Like,

46:05

I don't need to add

46:07

a layer of, you know,

46:09

surprise or intrigue to that.

46:11

Like, I'm just gonna come

46:13

as I am and I

46:15

fucking love this shit. Now,

46:17

if you're seeing each other

46:19

every single day, day in

46:21

and day out, then I

46:23

could understand maybe the need

46:25

for a surprise, but baby

46:27

girl, you are the surprise,

46:29

okay? Next question. Hey Sophia,

46:32

I feel like I'm too

46:34

old to start over. I'm

46:36

39, I failed my x-ray

46:38

program, and now I feel

46:40

I have nothing left. All

46:42

I do is drink and

46:44

plot revenge. I don't know

46:46

where to go from here.

46:48

That's looking funny as

46:50

shit. Oh my God, I have

46:52

been in those moods though, where

46:55

like I'm just at home drinking

46:57

in despair and like... plotting

47:00

some fake scenario revenge

47:02

in my head and

47:04

those moments, I am

47:06

not a happy camper.

47:08

Like what I'm

47:10

actively plotting revenge

47:13

is when I am in a

47:15

dark space. Bitch, 39 is not

47:17

too old. Like in no way

47:19

shape or form. If you

47:21

wrote in and you were

47:24

like, I'm 89, you know,

47:26

then I would probably say,

47:28

Yeah, it might be a

47:30

little too late to go

47:32

back to whatever school you

47:34

need to go to for

47:36

x-ray analysis. But you're 39.

47:39

You know that I was

47:41

talking to my boyfriend the

47:43

other day and he was

47:46

like, oh yeah, I asked

47:48

my mom to come in

47:50

earlier, but she can't because

47:52

she's taking college courses. His

47:55

mom is in... Her 70s,

47:57

I'm pretty sure, do not.

48:00

Quote me on that. Oh,

48:02

fuck. She's like, fucking young, hopping

48:04

around in her 50s and I'm

48:06

over here saying she's in her

48:09

70s. This is not gonna be

48:11

clipped and this will not show

48:13

up on socials and no one

48:15

better fucking send this to her

48:18

because that is the last thing

48:20

I need, okay? I already have

48:22

all the worlds working against me.

48:25

She is well, well, well, well

48:27

over 39. I think over 20

48:29

years over that age, and she

48:32

is taking college courses. Also, this

48:34

is gonna make you feel really,

48:36

probably not better, and you're like,

48:39

why this should be like a

48:41

last resort. Medical advancements are happening,

48:43

and with AI, I'm telling you,

48:45

we're gonna be living. In a

48:48

healthy way, longer, we are going

48:50

to be living till much older.

48:52

39 is fucking nothing, and I

48:55

need you to just get that

48:57

through your head. 39 is nothing.

48:59

Okay? You're not even halfway through

49:02

the entirety of your life if

49:04

you live to be pretty old.

49:06

I feel like I'm just making

49:09

this worse. I'm like, medical advancements,

49:11

like, you know, whatever the fuck

49:13

I'm saying, get out there and

49:15

start living, girl, because let me

49:18

tell you, you're not getting anything

49:20

out of plotting your revenge and

49:22

drinking at home. I mean, drinking

49:25

can be kind of fun, but

49:27

like, you know, but you know

49:29

what? Drinking is a hell of

49:32

a lot more fun when you're

49:34

happy. and you're drinking because your

49:36

life is just pure bliss. And

49:39

if I hear someone with the

49:41

number three in front of another

49:43

number saying they feel too old.

49:46

I'm gonna gonna personally

49:48

kick your ass

49:50

I I feel

49:52

like I'm fucking

49:55

21. if you if

49:57

you add in

49:59

COVID, I'm technically

50:02

22. I love you guys so

50:04

I love you

50:06

guys so much.

50:09

And I will

50:11

talk to you

50:13

next week. If

50:16

you're not subscribed

50:18

to YouTube, please,

50:20

please, please, please do. So I

50:23

So I can continue

50:25

making content and I love

50:27

you guys. you guys. Just

50:45

doing a quick check -in to

50:47

let you guys know that I

50:49

not going anywhere this holiday season

50:51

and and you can expect new episodes

50:54

every single week. Just make

50:56

sure to follow so you don't

50:58

miss an episode. episode