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on the latest episodes without

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the ads. Greetings,

0:32

listener. Greetings,

0:35

listener. Oh, sorry. Do

0:37

you want to? Sorry,

0:39

no, you go. Greetings,

0:41

listener, and welcome to Springleaf, the only podcast where an

0:44

undercover cop shares his

0:46

wire recordings with the public. I'm your host,

0:48

Pat Springleaf, and on today's episode, I'm joined

0:50

by the one, the only, Mr

0:52

Tom Allen. Thank you,

0:54

Patrick. I am today's guest. Now,

0:56

Tom, you actually feature on this episode

1:00

wire recording, a first for the podcast. Yes,

1:02

well, something happened involving you and I, and

1:05

for the longest time, I have wanted answers but never received them until, fingers

1:10

crossed, this blessed

1:12

day. Pat, you written that reference

1:14

for me yet? I need it by end of play.

1:17

Oh, boy, we're going on a job hunt.

1:21

We're not scared. Have you done it or not? Yeah,

1:23

of course, Adams. I'll write it up ASAP. Well,

1:25

you better. I hate podcasts and I want out. That's

1:28

what I said ten years ago, and look at me now. Not

1:30

now, Tom Allen. I'm not in the mood.

1:33

Let's get stuck in. I just landed myself a

1:35

new comedy agent. His ex-wife. And

1:37

it wasn't long before she had some big

1:39

Tom Allen-related news for me. The very best

1:42

kind of news. Play the tape, Adams. Don't

1:44

tell me what to do, mate. Sorry, I

1:47

usually host these things. I'll get

1:49

used to it. It's fine. Theta,

1:53

this office is plush as hell. Golden

1:55

desks shaped like a dog's bone, fairy

1:57

zebra wallpaper, glass bottom floor... shark

2:00

type beneath it containing a single shark that's also

2:02

your client? You can afford all

2:04

this just from getting Serpico in multiple roles as

2:06

a Murdoch? I can afford all

2:08

this, Bat, because- Thomas just asked a perfectly valid

2:10

question, so just to clarify, it's the same as

2:13

a mermaid, but instead of top half woman, it's

2:15

top half dog, and it can be any breed

2:17

of dog. And any breed of fish, I imagine.

2:19

I asked you if your comedy career ever got in the

2:21

way of your police work, and it's not the same as

2:23

a dogfish, because that's a real life animal. I

2:26

can afford all this, Bat, because I'm incredible at

2:28

my job. Case in point, I've been

2:30

your agent for seven hours, and I've already booked you

2:32

your first TV gig. Are you

2:34

serious? TV is huge right now! It's

2:37

a pilot for Tom Allen's new panel show, Can

2:39

I Get a Retreat? A quiz

2:41

all about the online stuff that didn't go

2:43

viral. Sita, you're amazing. I could

2:46

kiss you. Genuinely. I mean, we've barely been broken

2:48

up a week. It wouldn't be that weird. Don't

2:51

even think about it. Other side of

2:53

the desk. We

2:55

are not getting back together. Back

2:57

up a little more, actually. Bit

3:01

further. Keep

3:06

going until you reach the wall-mounted birdseed

3:09

descender. Anyways,

3:16

congratulations. To me,

3:18

for negotiating with you, now get out of

3:20

my office. Had

3:25

to get me some of that birdseed. I needed all

3:27

the energy I could muster for when I met up

3:30

with the gang later. Why,

3:32

I'm not paying for your job! Jesus

3:34

Christ, I'm a lady! What the fuck?

3:36

Are you jacking me? We've got a practice

3:38

heist coming up and you book yourself a

3:40

panel heist. Panel shows and shit! It's

3:42

bad on you, Iiwi. Then nothing. Remember a

3:45

bunch of insecure men shouting over women. Yeah,

3:47

and they totally ignore anything the woman says.

3:50

You're jacking me? We've got a practice heist coming

3:52

up and you book yourself a panel show! I'll

3:54

sit here and smile. I thought you'd all be happy

3:56

for me. If my team wins, I'll get a trophy

3:58

of Tom Allen. Fuck your

4:01

trophy! You need to sort your priorities

4:03

out, Brains4Shits! Brains4Shits was

4:05

a regular Huey insult. It meant I'd shout my brain

4:07

out my butt and become stupid as a result. Hey!

4:11

If a trophy of Tom Allen's neck is

4:13

so valuable, how about we

4:16

nick that instead? Bring the practice high

4:18

C.A. caster. I like it. Two

4:20

cows, one bolt gun. Um, sorry

4:22

guys, but I think that's impossible. The

4:25

trophy's on camera for the whole record.

4:27

The casinos are covered in cameras. It's

4:29

the perfect simulation. Damn right! I

4:31

can't believe we were gonna burgle a

4:34

vape shop. This is way better. Let

4:36

this be a lesson to ya, A. C.A. caster. Never

4:39

make fun of my hairline ever again. Okay,

4:42

the practice house happens at James's

4:44

panel show. Everyone will be involved,

4:46

and we will steal that trophy

4:48

of Tom Allen's neck. Go on,

4:50

guys! Hey!

4:53

So I've just gotta buy my own vape, have I? Pay

4:56

full price? Nance was correct.

4:58

They all had to buy their own vapes, and they

5:00

weren't delighted about it. Are you telling

5:02

me that the reason my panel show pilot

5:05

was a disaster is because you were pulling

5:07

a practice heist? I'm so sorry,

5:09

Tom. You're probably wondering why you had an entirely

5:11

new Team of Runners show up that day. Don't

5:13

be silly. I've never noticed a single runner in

5:16

my life. They were the SW6 gang in disguise.

5:18

We detained the original Team of Runners by sending

5:20

them on an impossible errand. Robbing a casino. Because

5:22

what if they fluked it and saved us the

5:24

trouble? Did they? No, they're all locked up

5:27

in Macs. So every single runner

5:29

was a gangster, is that right? All

5:31

bar one. An unexpected character showed

5:33

up, playing a game all of her own.

5:37

Hello, James A. Caster. Can

5:40

I get you anything? Tea? Coffee?

5:42

Multiple live gigs? Angela!

5:45

Oh no, did they fire you as chief? No.

5:48

You fired me as your fake agent, though,

5:51

forcing me to get my undercover fix wherever

5:53

I can. I deliberately gave

5:55

the wrong name at Starbucks this morning, but

5:57

it wasn't the same. I need fully

5:59

one. Immersion, Pat! Are you here to mess

6:01

with the practice heist? Because if we could

6:03

not arrest them today, that'd be great. I've

6:05

got a lot of material to write and

6:07

then make appear off the cuff for this

6:09

panel show. No arrests today, matey boy. This

6:11

police chief's here to do one thing and

6:14

one thing only. Get herself

6:16

inducted into the SW6 gang.

6:20

Hey everybody, it's me, an anonymous

6:22

runner! Did I hear someone say

6:24

they wanted to join a terrible gang of

6:26

dangerous criminals? Worst thing

6:28

that could have happened here, Donna knows Angela's

6:31

the chief of police, but Angela knows nothing

6:33

about Donna. It's like watching a cat

6:35

toying with her mouth. But the mouse makes

6:37

the cats a tasty piece of cheese. Angela's

6:39

voice sounds familiar. I doubt it. I

6:42

can get you initiated today. What's your

6:44

name, runner source Rex? Angela.

6:47

Didn't even change her name? Please

6:49

excuse us, James A. Caster. I'm about

6:51

to have Angela here do a bunch

6:53

of made up shit for no reason.

6:56

What say we begin by prank

6:59

calling Mr. Tom Allen? I

7:01

knew it. She's the woman who tried to sell

7:03

me a tea cozy. Sounds nice. A

7:06

tea stood for testicles. It

7:08

was a knitted pouch for my balls. Pretty

7:11

funny stuff, to be fair. Maybe

7:13

I should have got Angela to write for me that day, given

7:16

that my actual writing team were an absolute nightmare.

7:20

Oh boy. This is the

7:22

coolest dressing room I've ever been in. We

7:25

should probably do some drugs to celebrate, right?

7:27

It's a dump, Nish. This entire

7:29

show is beneath us. Who's the

7:31

nerd? Oh, I'm

7:33

a new writer on the block. James

7:35

employed me to write for him, even though we

7:37

belong to rival drug gangs. Nish Kumar, pleased to

7:39

meet you. If you don't mind

7:42

talking shop, I have some questions about these

7:44

drugs of yours. Question one. Can

7:46

I have some? No drugs until

7:48

we finish work, Nish. And Evelyn, I

7:50

assure you, Cougar is a truly gifted writer.

7:53

Clark's undercover name is Cougar. He was unaware it's

7:56

a term for women who pursue younger men. You

7:59

know what? Since Cougar is so gifted,

8:01

I'm gonna split. I'm a true

8:03

disciple of comedy, and a TV studio will

8:06

never be my church. Yeah, I'm gonna church

8:08

too! Right, Nish, we all know you're gonna

8:10

score drugs. Just write with us and we'll

8:12

reward you after. Hmm, that sounds like I

8:14

won't get them right away though. Not

8:17

getting drugs right away on a TV set

8:19

feels pretty silly, and frankly, unprofessional. But I

8:21

need to come up with 10 witty lines

8:23

about this video of a baby doing nothing.

8:25

Nish, Evelyn? Please

8:27

don't go. How

8:31

about, Oh Baby? Right,

8:36

I'm gonna go and get Evelyn and Nish back. Wait

8:38

here, Cougar. Oh,

8:40

Baby. Nish,

8:45

come on, man. We'll give you some

8:47

bite-sized drugs beforehand, get your creative juices

8:49

flowing. No need, my good buddy. I've

8:51

just been sold some top-quality shit by

8:53

this delightful little scamp. And the pleasure

8:55

was all mine, Mr. McIntyre. Always

8:58

give a new dealer an alias. Angela,

9:01

why are you selling drugs in the

9:03

corridors? Top of the notch stuff, Angie

9:05

Baby. I'm selling them to a sharer

9:07

bag of edibles? You're acing

9:09

this initiation. Yee-bee! Now

9:12

grab some eggs and meet me in the car park

9:14

in five. Happy Easter, bitches!

9:19

She's the one who threw Easter eggs at

9:21

my Lamborghini, isn't she? Yeah,

9:23

she is. Sounds like it, yeah. I

9:27

get what's happening here, Donna. I abandoned

9:29

you all those years ago, so now you're showing me

9:31

what that feels like. But having all

9:33

my friends abandon me on my big day. Nope.

9:36

I'm setting fire to your day because you double-booked

9:38

yourself. I'm teaching you a lesson. Well,

9:41

if it helps, I promise I will

9:43

never abandon you ever again. Hilarious.

9:48

So if I said your awful friend is talking

9:50

to your ex-wife round the corner, you wouldn't abandon

9:52

me on the spot? Hahahaha!

10:00

Evelyn, Sita, James, you didn't tell me you

10:02

had such funny friends. What? I'm a comedian.

10:04

I was just telling Sita how much you

10:06

look up to me and admire my comedy.

10:08

Yes, that's true. That's why I paid you

10:10

to be my writer for the day. Did

10:12

your management negotiate that, Evelyn? I haven't

10:15

stolen someone else's client yet. I'd love to give

10:17

poaching a go. You know,

10:19

Sita, I don't actually have any representation,

10:21

so you can go ahead and poach

10:23

me from myself. Oh,

10:26

how rude of me. This is Serpico, my number

10:28

one client. That's

10:30

humble of you, Serpico, but I'm number

10:33

two at best. James, go and practice your

10:35

laugh. There's some funny comedians on this panel,

10:37

and I want you in as many reaction

10:39

shots as possible. Maybe Pam sir can

10:41

help you with that. It's Cougar, not

10:43

Panther. See you later, future

10:45

stablemate. Speaking of stablemates, I

10:47

just find the most remarkable horse. Tell me,

10:50

Evelyn, do you like mentalism? James,

10:52

a ward. Oh, I'm totally across

10:55

my duties for the practice, Ice Lawrence. I'm in

10:57

charge of distractions. Although, it's

10:59

currently my writing I'm getting distracted from. Is

11:01

that a joke? Oh, God, I'm screwed. We've

11:03

got a big problem. I just took my

11:05

noggin in your dressing room, and I came

11:08

face to face with an SW5 prick. Oh,

11:11

no! He must have been waiting to ambush me.

11:13

Let me talk to him. Too late. He's already

11:15

scarpered. I managed to stab him in the leg,

11:17

so we can't have got fur. Uh, you

11:20

know what? I'll find him. You give that knife of yours a

11:22

little rest. Take Huey

11:24

with you. He can even help with your writing. Huey's

11:27

quite the droid with. I was

11:29

thinking you could do a joke about the

11:31

word viral, but Makeout is referring to something

11:34

rude, like chlamydia. No

11:36

vaping in the corridors. Sebastian Sockles

11:38

loves to vape. Oh,

11:41

good. You're doing Sockles. Mmm. Hot fudge

11:44

tiramisu. Good

11:47

luck, lads. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm

11:49

off to fetch Bill Bailey his herbal bottle.

11:52

Herbal bottle. Herbal bottle. Credit

11:55

where it's due, Lawrence was genuinely good at being

11:57

a runner. He took his responsibility to really save.

12:00

Seriously. Time out! I

12:02

know where this is heading. You're

12:05

the one who kidnapped Sarah Milliken,

12:07

aren't you? Well, I temporarily detained

12:09

Sarah Milliken. You threw a sack over

12:11

her head and passed her off as Clark. I

12:13

simply snuck up on Milliken during a

12:15

pre-show nap, popped her in a comfortable

12:18

sack and handed her over, claiming I'd

12:20

caught the SW5 member. Huey

12:22

was delighted and Clark didn't get stabbed again.

12:25

Everybody wins. Apart from Milliken who was

12:27

tied up in a fucking sack. Do

12:29

you have any idea how difficult it

12:31

was to find a last minute replacement

12:34

for Sarah Milliken? Well, if

12:36

memory serves Tom I found you an

12:38

adequate replacement within minutes. And if memory

12:40

serves, he was high as a kite.

12:42

Well, I think that's very much up

12:45

for debate, Tom. Five minutes to

12:47

show time. Let's get some mics on these panellists. Oh

12:51

man, James, this is a

12:53

far out. Thanks for getting

12:55

me a gig on this sparkly TV show,

12:57

man. Oh, it's so sparkly.

13:00

The desk is sparkly. Tom

13:03

Allen's suit is sparkly. Big

13:05

sparkly trophy. Oh, I'm a sparkly little boy. Okay, here was high

13:07

as a kite. No need to faint me, Nish. Also,

13:11

don't tell anyone I told you that. No worries, brother. I'm great at keeping

13:13

secrets. For example, Evelyn told me not to tell you that your agent got

13:15

her a job as a TV warmer. I'm not a fan of the TV.

13:17

I'm not a fan of the TV. I'm not a fan of the TV.

13:19

I'm not a fan of the TV. I'm not a fan of the TV.

13:22

I'm not a fan of the TV. I'm

13:28

not a fan of the TV. I'm not a fan of the TV. I'm not

13:31

a fan of TV. I'm not a fan of the TV. I'm a fan

13:33

of TV. I'm not a fan of TV. I'm not a fan of

13:35

TV. I'm not a fan of TV. So you can come and

13:37

watch it. Okay, this is a quick question. If you want to watch

13:39

this, you can! If you want to watch the TV,

13:41

you can! Now, what a warm-up would usually do is

13:44

get you to do a bunch of clapping and cheering

13:46

games, treat you like toddlers, but I have more respect

13:48

for you than that, so I'm gonna

13:50

do what I always do and give the

13:52

audience a hefty dose of the truth.

13:56

First things first, why don't we all

13:58

walk around pretending like we're not gonna die? I've

14:01

had recurring nightmares about this warm-up. She

14:03

reduced the energy in the room to

14:05

zero by monologuing about England voting against

14:07

its best interests every election. Good

14:09

on Seeth if we're adding another human to her roster, though.

14:11

I don't know why she bothers that dog she's

14:14

got is amazingly talented. Yeah, but he can

14:16

only play mer-dogs, so how long's that gonna

14:18

last? I can play any character people throw

14:20

at me. Can't play a mer-dog, though. And I can too, just

14:22

not as well as someone who's fully dog. Yeah, so a dog

14:24

only has to do half the acting. Thank

14:26

you, Tom, exactly. It's less of a stretch for a dog

14:28

or a fish to play the role than it is for

14:31

a human boy like me. I think

14:33

the fish is the most impressive. It has

14:35

to be itself on the bottom half, but

14:37

a dog on its top half, so it's

14:39

playing itself and another character. Isn't the dog

14:41

doing that as well? Yeah, but playing a fishtail

14:43

isn't as hard as playing a dog face. As

14:47

heavily persisted with the audience warm-up, it

14:49

was nearly time for my TV debut.

14:53

And that is why it's important to go

14:55

to therapy. Do

14:58

you guys even like comedy or... what's

15:01

the deal here? Oh boy, Evelyn's

15:03

having such a great gig, it's

15:05

amazing. This is the highest you've

15:07

ever been. Damn right it is he bought from the

15:09

best. Sorry to interrupt,

15:11

Squiggle Dicks. Angie, do

15:14

what it is like only you care. Haha,

15:16

back in the defeat! What's she up to now?

15:19

Stealing Joe Brand's wristwatch? I've had the

15:22

best day. Never thought I'd see the

15:24

chief of police spray paint a wall on

15:26

a dick. You mean spray paint a dick on a

15:28

wall? Nope. Unbelievable.

15:33

I'm truly sorry Tom. I didn't dare

15:35

show it to anyone for months. It

15:37

looked like a miniature chimney. Also it

15:39

clashed with my polka dot testicle cozy. I

15:42

didn't mean to abandon you back in the day, Donna. I'd

15:44

actually gone to bargain with that undercover cop for our sake.

15:46

The man was clearly on to us. Sweet

15:49

Caroline, I don't give a solitary

15:51

toss, Sprungles. You have any idea how

15:53

many failed partnerships I tried after you

15:56

Houdini'd me? One dude couldn't do accents

15:58

unless it was a dick. direct impression

16:00

of Forrest Gump. And he couldn't

16:03

get into it without saying, it

16:05

jumped up and bit me in

16:07

the buttocks. Bottom line,

16:09

I don't want to be anyone's Ginny ever again.

16:12

I'm Timberlake. And Timberlake don't get

16:14

jealous when N'Sync sings at Epcot.

16:16

Got it. I nicked her wedding

16:18

ring as well to score brownie

16:20

points. This ain't the brownies,

16:22

honey. Now let's flush these goodies

16:24

down Gloria Honeyford's private commode. Yippee!

16:30

Hey, it's Ryan Reynolds, owner and user of

16:33

Mint Mobile, with a special holiday message. If

16:35

you sign up now for three months, you

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get three months free on every one of

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our plans, even unlimited. Now, I realize this

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details. Good

17:04

news. Ad-free listening on Amazon

17:06

Music is included with your Prime membership.

17:09

Ads shouldn't be the scariest thing about true crime.

17:12

Just head to amazon.com/ad-free true crime to catch

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up on the latest episodes without the ads.

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And with thousands of A-cash shows ad-free for

17:18

Prime subscribers. So show us how that. Anyway,

17:24

they're waving at me now, which means it's

17:26

time to start the show. Thank god.

17:28

Shut up, moron. OK,

17:31

coming off the opening titles, and here's

17:34

what's-his-name. Applaud now,

17:36

idiot. Oh. Thank

17:45

you, everyone, and welcome to Can I

17:47

Get a Retweet? The panel show that

17:49

unearths the posts the internet forgot. For

17:52

example, how did we forget this guy?

17:58

I don't know. And

18:03

why weren't we sharing this last Christmas?

18:17

Hey, how about that Evelyn Mark? What

18:19

a warm-up I can't wait to talk

18:22

to the producers about her future after

18:24

this show. Hey, while you're at it

18:26

ask the Producers why they made this

18:28

show so sparkly it's hurting my eyes

18:30

man They

18:35

should call this show can I get

18:37

some sunglasses am I right? This

18:42

is the kind of humor you're after I suppose what

18:45

stuff that's funny All

18:52

right Round United

18:54

status of America where we take

18:57

a look at some Yankee Facebook

18:59

posts and scrutinize them Oh

19:01

man, I'd like to scrutinize a plate

19:03

of hash Browns right now. I got

19:05

the munchies real bad James

19:12

if you have funny things to say may

19:14

I suggest waiting for the applause to die

19:16

down where the fuck is my Rolex? Oh,

19:19

oh my god. I've just

19:21

seen the first American status and it's a

19:23

photo of a stack of pancakes one ticket

19:25

to munchdown, please I've

19:30

never seen someone do so well on a panel

19:32

show and with such a tough crowd

19:35

You're telling me I was supposed

19:37

to of course a distraction by now, but kept

19:39

getting drowned out by nishes applause breaks then

19:43

Things got even worse if this is what I think

19:45

it is then it's the single most

19:47

bizarre occurrence I have ever witnessed in the world

19:49

of show business roll the tape Adams

19:52

I was like is that so cuz I couldn't

19:54

give a flying fuck into a rolling donut Caster!

20:01

You think I'm stupid or something,

20:04

eh Caster? This sack doesn't contain

20:06

any SW5 scum! It's household name

20:08

and national treasure, Sarah Soddy Millican!

20:11

Sir, do not come any further. Stay over

20:13

there and we'll have security come and meet

20:15

you. Ow! Millican kicked

20:17

me in the shin! Hooooo!

20:28

OK, for the listener, that was the sound of

20:30

Sarah Millican running bound and blindfolded across a TV

20:32

set up a ramp straight into a 10 foot

20:34

deep dunk tank. A rather expensive 10 foot deep

20:36

dunk tank, thank you very much! Can

20:39

we hear the sound again, I think it's so funny! Sure,

20:41

if you like! Hooooo! Hooooo!

20:51

Ahhh! Oh, one more!

20:53

Just one! Oh,

21:01

I'd actually like to hear it again now, it is

21:03

rather pleasing! It's

21:10

a funny noise! Albeit the noise of

21:12

a deeply distressed individual receiving the shock of her

21:14

life. Luckily, there was

21:17

an undercover cop on hand to save the

21:19

day. Play it from the noise

21:21

again! Oh yes, do! Oh

21:31

no, Millican! This is all my fault! That

21:33

sound was hilarious, man! Hope they

21:35

recorded it. I've got a saver.

21:37

Hang on, Sarah! The glass

21:39

will break! The dunk tank will tear up us! Pat,

21:42

we have to go. I can't have one of my

21:45

clients caught up in this mess. But Millican needs

21:47

my help! As your agent, I'm advising

21:49

you to get away from everyone's phones. I'm

21:51

already taking a risk bringing Serpico out here.

21:53

People might think he's involved. Involved? Sita,

21:57

that's the best idea I've ever heard! Hey!

22:01

Bring him back here! We have my

22:03

Wonder Dog! Time to put that Murdoch

22:05

train into Caduce Serbico. Now

22:07

get in that dunk tank and save Millik! Oh

22:20

my God! What was it, Connor? My

22:23

word! That little dog just saved

22:25

Sarah Millikin's life. What's

22:27

that little fella's name? His name

22:30

is Serbico. He's the country's premier canine actor, and

22:32

his skills are not limited to playing Murdochs. Contact

22:35

CETA's Creatures with any booking

22:37

inquiries. I am also represented by CETA's

22:39

Creatures. Bit weird. Well,

22:41

now we've found Sarah Millikin. I

22:44

think it's best we start the

22:46

show again. Bye-bye, Nish. No longer

22:48

needed. Does the green room have weed

22:50

in it? You know, because it's

22:52

called the green room? Come

22:57

on, Mr. Coomer. The magic's over. Best

23:00

day of my life. Sarah

23:03

Millikin, do you want to try off before we begin? Oh,

23:06

you can make me look dry in post. This

23:09

is the best herbal bovril I have

23:12

ever tasted. And I've tasted a lot.

23:14

And has anyone caught that awfully scary London

23:16

gangster from earlier? Sorry, boss.

23:18

We've looked far and wide, but couldn't find

23:20

him. Thank you, anonymous German

23:22

runner. Are we ready to start? Depends.

23:26

Who do you want me to save from drowning this

23:28

time? Very

23:31

good. Welcome to

23:34

Can I Get a Retweet, where four

23:36

hilarious comedians compete for this magnificent trophy.

23:38

The trophy is gone! Gotcha,

23:41

motherfucker. Where is it? Somewhere you'll

23:43

never find it. They smashed it to pieces

23:45

when they were posted and gave it to a busker. Oh,

23:47

if it's any consolation, Tom. Even smashed to pieces,

23:50

the busker could still tell it was your neckmate.

23:52

That's how iconic your neck is, man. What

23:54

did you think of the sound quality during this episode, Tom? Clean,

23:57

right? All the water stuff was cleaner as a bell? Not

24:00

easy to capture with a single lapel mic? Well, I

24:02

thought you gained access to the studio mics to make it

24:04

sound better. How about I turn your mic off right now?

24:07

How'd you like that? And where is

24:09

this reference? You've written nothing! You know what,

24:11

Adams? I'm looking for someone to head up the sound

24:13

team for a new talk show I'm hosting if you're

24:15

up for the challenge. They're rebooting Trisha,

24:17

but with me as the host.

24:20

Keeping the same name, obviously. Oh,

24:22

I see. I've got your panel

24:24

show cancelled so you're still my producer.

24:26

Let this be a lesson to everybody

24:28

listening. You never fuck

24:31

with Tom Allen, the

24:33

brand new host of Trisha.

24:38

Oh, my God, we did it! Oh,

24:41

Billy Jayden! What a blast! James, my last

24:43

genius! Genius? He sent me on a wild

24:45

goose chase! He caused the best

24:48

distraction I've seen in over 50 years of criminal

24:50

activity, Huey. Apology, Huey. I had to keep

24:52

you in the dark or it wouldn't have worked. Did

24:54

you at least use some of my jokes

24:57

in the show? Oh, yeah. I used the

24:59

one about how Twitter should be called shit-er.

25:01

They loved it. Ah, so they like the

25:03

cerebral stuff. Good to know. There's still the

25:05

small issue of this SW5 piece of shit.

25:07

Please, tell me you're calling for real, James, or I'm gonna

25:10

go right back to being in a grump with you. I'm

25:12

sorry, but it is what it is what it is. Ah.

25:15

Well, the thing about that SW5 guy

25:17

is... He's right

25:20

here. Get your goddamn

25:22

SW6 hands off of me! Clark!

25:25

Uh, Cougar! Look

25:27

at his stabbed-up leg! I did that!

25:29

Nice work catching him, Donna. Donna didn't

25:31

catch this bastard. I did. And

25:33

it was like taking candy from a baby. A

25:37

baby that prefers savoury dishes to desserts. That sounds

25:39

like an unusual baby, but who might you be?

25:42

Me? They call me Angela. And

25:44

I'm the newest member of your goddamn

25:46

crew. I'm

25:49

the newest member of your fucking team. I'm

25:51

the newest member of your fucking team. Eveline

26:00

Mott, Cinnamon Hart, Draya

26:02

Parker, Jason Ford, Joe Burns,

26:04

Tachie, Teemabob, Nathaniel Metz, Nishkumar,

26:07

Pat Taylor, Phil Wang, Sarah

26:09

Militan, Sharon D. Clark, and

26:11

Sin Doo Vee. And our

26:13

studio guest was Tom Allen.

26:15

Extra jokes were by Allison

26:17

Hunter, Sue A. B., Ken

26:19

Chen, Matthew Groce, Rose Johnson, and

26:22

two songs after the season. Lots

26:24

of thanks to everyone who backed

26:26

the Kickstarter, included the 60 producers

26:28

Brian F. Otten, Heather Petreoy, Janine

26:30

Giswaldo, Mel Stacey, and Stephen E.

26:33

And also to Acast for Havaness as

26:35

part of the Acast Creator Network. Original

26:37

music is by Nante, and sound design

26:39

is by Charlie Brendan King. The assistant

26:42

producers were Katie Sayer and Michaela Carmine.

26:44

The producer was Lindsay Fennar, and Springleaf

26:46

is a mighty bunny production. Tired

26:53

of ads interrupting your gripping investigations?

26:56

Good news. Ad-free listening on

26:58

Amazon Music is included with your Prime

27:00

membership. Ads shouldn't be the scariest

27:02

thing about true crime. Just

27:04

head to amazon.com/ad-free true crime to

27:06

catch up on the latest episodes

27:09

without the ads. And with thousands of Acast shows,

27:11

ad-free for content subscribers. So, show me how that.