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1:00

Allen, the whole show podcast. Thank

1:03

you. Morning, everybody. Welcome along to

1:05

your free podcast for today, Tuesday, January

1:08

the seventeenth, or as we prefer to say in London,

1:10

bloody freezing. Absolutely free.

1:12

You've noticed how the temperature has dropped

1:14

quite substantially. And certain parts

1:16

of the country are bathed in snow, and they're all

1:18

going. We'd all like the snow. It's funny isn't it? The kids

1:20

love it. Perrotate it. So just as

1:22

well, the schoolteacher is going on strike because

1:25

the kids won't go to school in the snow anyway.

1:27

It's too dangerous. It really really

1:29

isn't. I feel solid people live in certain parts

1:31

of the country where it is just absolutely

1:34

a nightmare. But we had a picture of, I think,

1:36

the cairngorms or something. And there's one car on

1:38

the road and they go, Don't go out driving.

1:40

Don't go out. You might be stranded there forever

1:42

in a day and it's not really worth it. Is it? Because then they ask

1:44

you to take things with you in the car. If you're doing a journey,

1:47

Take, you know, take blankets, take

1:49

warm drink. I mean, for goodness. Take on us. Have

1:51

you ever heard of anybody taking warm drinks

1:54

in a car? I mean, I nearly bought a car a short while ago, which

1:56

had a fridge in it. It had a cool

1:58

box actually in the car so you could chilli

2:00

the champagne. Not that

2:02

I've ever drunk champagne, will I have drunk champagne

2:04

on occasion, but it's not my my favorite

2:06

drink of choice. The bad news is

2:08

that Joe Wickes, remember the one who took so much money

2:10

off you by telling you, this is what you have to do to

2:12

eat and that you it's another one of these

2:15

you know, where a celebrity goes off to boot camp in

2:17

Switzerland for days and days, weeks on

2:19

end. And they come back with some microscopically

2:22

thin body because they've been physically starved

2:24

and had to do their exercises. And

2:27

once you'd made your money, sodom, you

2:29

put the weight back on again and that's what he does.

2:31

He's lost his six pack and

2:34

he used to get saucy d m's. Now remember,

2:37

he had an agent. And the

2:39

agent, I was telling Freddie, a short

2:41

while ago, had a choice of two people,

2:44

you know, to turn into celebrities to prove

2:46

that you know, your agent is worth their

2:48

weight in gold. They can get you the interviews

2:50

and everything else. So Joe Wickes did everything.

2:52

They pushed pushed pushed pushed and

2:54

he says that now he's sort of he's

2:57

he's sort of eased off the exercise. So

2:59

in other words, he's ended up with the same body

3:01

that everybody else got to eat ice cream, gin

3:03

and tonics, yeah, slap up meals, which

3:05

of course, unfortunately if you want to end up looking at So

3:07

what he's done is he's made all the money And

3:09

now it's a case of do you,

3:12

you know, because he said, you know,

3:14

things have changed. And so

3:16

now he's offering parenting tips. I'm

3:19

sorry. I'm sorry. Take the piss

3:21

once. Don't take it twice. Come

3:23

on. Oh, David Williams has been replaced,

3:25

but we knew that didn't we. Britain's got talent.

3:27

And I did say it was up over

3:29

Bruno Tonioli or Allan Karl. I said, I

3:31

thought Allan Karl was too camped, too

3:33

he'd have taken over the program and didn't think you needed

3:36

it, was Bruno Tanioli is sort of

3:38

irritating, but yet sort of saveable

3:40

a little bit. A little bit. So they

3:42

had to go for him because Alan Carr is just

3:45

I could I could just see how he would take over the

3:47

program, and doesn't work like that. There's supposed

3:49

to be a team and everybody's worked

3:51

with Bruno before and he's beaten him

3:53

to the job so he's actually got it. I mean, whether or

3:55

not he's I mean, now he's got white hair

3:58

They're so old these people. Oh, you tend to

4:00

forget. They've been around for ages, but he's

4:02

still as campers he ever was. And

4:04

they reckon he signed a six

4:06

figure contract. Which is

4:09

could be nine pounds sixteen throwback and tapney. I

4:11

don't know. It could be something like that. And

4:13

they say for almost two months Alan may have

4:15

been the favorite, but Bruno was all assignments,

4:17

of course, because he's worked with him. So he knows what

4:19

he's what he's like, which I think is good.

4:21

Oh look, Katy Price, the dreary

4:23

one, sparked rumors. There's no rumors

4:25

darling. She she's very,

4:27

very unhappy. Apparently,

4:29

she's officially back with Karl Woods again.

4:32

I mean, seriously, why don't you grow up

4:34

and get a life darling? It's pathetic. She's

4:36

been married three times and she's got this

4:38

ring which is worth fifty grand. How we afforded

4:40

anything like that being a secondhand card or

4:42

I've got no idea, not even his his

4:44

business. But apparently, she's,

4:47

oh, that's why they've got to come up with

4:49

some in some I've just realized, she's

4:51

promoting a new hoodie. That's

4:54

why. That's what it is. You all fraud,

4:56

honestly, you really are. It's embarrassing,

4:58

isn't it really? If anybody's gonna go and buy anything

5:00

that she promotes. And so that she's got a hand in front of

5:02

the hoodie showing the rings back on again.

5:04

And that's how she gets the publicity. It's

5:06

all designed to hoodwink you, I'm afraid.

5:11

Channel four launching a brand new dating

5:13

show. I don't know how many more dating shows

5:15

we want on the television. This one is Raunchy,

5:17

the naked attraction. Oh,

5:19

God apparently, they're lining up

5:22

a show where couples will be encouraged to have sex

5:24

on their first date. What

5:26

is what naked attraction does? Isn't it? I

5:28

mean, unless I've missed the point. Every time

5:30

they go there, they go out for sort of lunch or dinner or

5:32

whatever it is and they go straight back to the hotel.

5:34

They bonked because they've already seen each other naked,

5:36

so there's no big surprise. And then they

5:38

go, so will you be seeing each other again? They go,

5:41

no. Don't fix. So don't it's

5:43

a bit like Love Island, which is about as shallow

5:45

as they get in television programs. So

5:47

they've made this pilot. It's

5:50

called sex first. So

5:52

it relies on the theory that perfect matches

5:54

must have sexual chemistry first and foremost.

5:57

Well, yeah. I mean, you know, I

5:59

can't kind of see that. I mean, they

6:01

put sleeping with somebody who you're not remotely

6:04

attracted to. Yes, sir. I mean, goodness sake.

6:06

But not at some hotel hookup.

6:08

It said they'd be riding with bluetooth sex

6:10

toys. My

6:13

god. I'll tell you channel four is scrape the bottom

6:15

of the year of the u bend, haven't they?

6:17

Interestingly enough, Joel Dommits,

6:19

The Love Trap was dumped by Channel four,

6:21

ITV scrapped Romeo and Juliet.

6:23

And for the sake of sex first, hopefully its

6:25

longevity will be on a par with the battery life

6:27

and its sex toys. I mean, that's

6:29

about as as good as it's gonna get Why are they

6:31

obsessed with it? I mean, most of the people who see on

6:33

naked attraction. I mean, they are

6:36

really the pits. They

6:38

really are I mean, some of these people that got

6:40

peersings here and you think to yourself, I'm

6:42

not surprised you can't find anybody to go

6:44

out with. The worst thing is if you voted off

6:46

first, you really are a loser.

6:48

You know, it's alright if you manage to get to the last

6:50

two, at least you've kinda got a fighting chance.

6:52

But if your first one out and they

6:54

get, no, gonna lose the reds and

6:56

you go, really, says the

6:58

the woman who presents it. You're gonna lose the

7:00

red, why? I get, well, basically, because

7:02

they're nothing. They got a small willy. Why would you not get

7:04

rid of them? Good, that's sick. Love Island viewers

7:07

accused the new signals of lying about their

7:09

age. To be honest with you, I did watch a bit

7:11

last night. It is Bimbo territory. I

7:13

mean, I can't believe this program is

7:15

still online. And so

7:17

now, fans have demanded the

7:19

show to check birth certificates as

7:21

they were left less than convinced that Kai

7:23

Fagan is twenty four years old. It

7:26

doesn't really help because I don't know who he is. I did

7:28

watch it. The farmer is up on there.

7:30

And to be honest, the best thing you can say about

7:32

him is, It looks like he shaves his

7:34

body. You know, they all seem to do it. The

7:36

boys have all got these sort of bodies which look like they

7:38

were sort of honed in a gymnasium. And

7:40

then covered in makeup, and then they have to shave

7:42

any bit of hair off. So it shows definition,

7:44

which is how bodybuilders work. You won't find hairy

7:46

bodybuilders. It doesn't work like that at all. But

7:49

I did watch it. I mean, the girls, how

7:51

embarrassing to have to go on there with me. I'm not

7:53

really gorgeous and I. I can't find

7:55

nobody. And you think, yeah, you heard your

7:57

voice. You know, they've all got something to

7:59

matter with them. Every single one of them, I mean, they were saying the

8:01

other day about me

8:04

console, be console, whatever name was on the

8:06

Dancing and Ice program. And they said, I'm sorry,

8:08

that was a family based program. What in

8:10

god's name were you not wearing, dear? That

8:12

thing was cut so tight, but

8:14

she should have put her foot down and said,

8:16

I'm not wearing that, you know, because she

8:18

had to slither on the ice and look a bit sexy

8:20

and you think That's the extent of it. But when you look

8:22

at the love islanders, my God, I

8:24

just see a bunch of frauds. I just

8:26

see a bunch of people. Like the apprentice people.

8:28

I see I see exactly the same in the apprentice, but

8:30

you've got everything about it. It's just the way

8:32

that they work because they're so desperate

8:34

to find fame I

8:37

don't think it's I don't think it comes down to the money. I

8:39

think it comes down to the fame. And I

8:41

remember some years ago, somebody

8:43

was Oh, it's the old story I've

8:45

told before are string fellows. I was in string

8:47

fellows, and they had a a thing about

8:49

they weren't going to let in topless

8:51

models. And things like that. They were gonna try and smarten

8:53

up the image. And there were two girls

8:55

outside, and the Daily Star, photographer,

8:57

was there. And

8:59

And he said, would you take your tops off and go to the door

9:01

of string fellow so we can see the bouncer with his

9:03

halo going, no. And so they

9:05

did it. They did it for free just so he could get

9:07

their picture in the daily star. took

9:09

their their their sort of shirts off, and they went

9:11

up to the door and the bouncer, went

9:14

no. And that and that was the picture of the Daily

9:16

Star. I remember thinking then, some people are doing

9:18

anything. They go on these these reality

9:20

shows. They will basically sell their grandmother

9:22

down the river, so they can get there a little bit

9:24

of fame. It's embarrassing in it, really. Liam

9:27

Gallagher, hilariously reaches out to Noelle

9:29

after the wife's split twenty two years

9:31

together. And they might you

9:33

know, the fans have demanded a reunion the trouble

9:35

is they've hated each other for years. It's

9:38

it's not like it's it's new. I

9:40

did think it was it was interesting.

9:42

They sort of twenty two years. What goes wrong

9:44

after twenty two years? And the answer is

9:46

everything. Oh. And once you

9:48

sort of decide you wanna not be

9:50

with somebody, you, unfortunately, you

9:52

sort of, you begin to hate them. You

9:54

know, you you get to that stage where, you

9:56

know, you can't sleep in the same bed.

9:58

You can't do it. You have to sort of get look,

10:00

you have to go because it's just not working

10:02

like the farmer and the wife, do you remember?

10:04

And they had a farm and they've got nine

10:06

children. And obviously somebody said to

10:08

her, you can make a lot more money by yourself. So,

10:11

off she goes, they've tarted her up,

10:13

completely shed all her hair down her makeups

10:15

pristine now. And she he's

10:17

moved into a farm just over

10:19

the valley and she's staying in the original

10:21

place with the with the children. It's because of

10:23

this desperate need to be famous.

10:25

And that's why I think, you know, the galleggers they got as

10:27

far as they they could get. I mean, twenty two years is

10:29

not bad. But very

10:31

few people seem to make it last

10:34

Jeremy Clark, well, Jeremy Clark, and the way you

10:36

begin with Jeremy Clark, and so he

10:38

emailed Harry and Meghan to apologize over

10:40

his column. They've they've rejected

10:42

it. And and now

10:44

it's been reported Amazon Prime will

10:46

no longer work with him. He

10:48

he basically sent them a

10:50

sort of a little email

10:52

saying, I'm sorry, you know, it was it

10:54

was all marked private and confidential. And

10:57

And so I think their cheerleader, the

11:00

Sussex is cheerleader, Omics, isn't it

11:02

funny? All I think about the Sussex is they

11:04

hate the press. That they're

11:06

milking it for everything they've got. I mean, you

11:08

know, either you hate the press and you

11:10

want privacy and all the rest of it, or you

11:12

tell lies and you just go with as much

11:14

as possible. Alright. So the books sold,

11:16

you know, one point four million copies, bully

11:18

for you. But if you hope it hope it

11:20

makes you happy in your old age.

11:22

Because, you know, you basically burnt your bridges back

11:24

here, but they rejected it. And

11:26

it turns out that the

11:29

the the rebuff their omid

11:31

Scobbe, who's their cheerleader, treated a statement

11:33

from a spokesperson. So somebody

11:36

else treated something else from a of

11:38

a spokesperson. Accusing Clarks under spreading

11:40

dangerous conspiracy theories and misogyny.

11:42

And so it goes on and he sort of

11:44

said, let's have apologized. You know, what would you

11:46

want to balance scrape in front of

11:48

you? If you somebody important, solid.

11:50

But they refused to accept his Christmas

11:52

day apology. And, you

11:54

know, I don't know I don't know where you go from here. I

11:56

don't know if Amazon Primeing gonna drop it.

11:58

I've got no idea. No idea at

12:01

all. But it's a case of, you know,

12:03

they just love the power. Don't know? They appear

12:05

to love this. Right. Right. Let it tell

12:07

him to sod off. We're not doing anything to do with

12:09

him at all. Or as I would have thought any publicity,

12:11

good publicity. Simon Bird was

12:13

in the in between us. I remember the first time I saw

12:15

it, I was horrified. What

12:17

they were talking about and the language and that

12:19

I I really was. But Simon

12:21

Bird, he was Will

12:23

McKenzie. And as

12:25

reflected the time, do you know they did

12:27

two years on that show?

12:29

And he said he doesn't think the show is aged

12:31

well because they had sexism

12:34

and casual homophobia. And

12:37

and but I mean, I thought people loved

12:39

it. People seemed to love it. I mean, I just said

12:41

I was horrified. I mean, pretty safe, not the

12:43

sort of program we could watch with your parents.

12:46

Absolutely not a cat in hell's

12:48

chance. Molly May hey, here we go.

12:50

She's never felt more insecure about her teeth. Well,

12:52

go get them done, dear, and just keep your trap

12:54

shot. Keep your mouth shut. Nobody will worry

12:56

about it. Okay? So she's had to

12:58

avoid undergoing any dental work because she's

13:00

pregnant. Twenty three. They're not married by the way,

13:02

just so I point that out, single bedrooms.

13:04

And, you know, we'll wait and see what happens.

13:06

David Foster Unless he's

13:08

still adjusting to raising a baby at

13:10

seventy three. I don't

13:13

know. He's a legendary composer. But I

13:15

have to be honest, he said, I won't be around when he's

13:17

forty. What he might not be around when he's twenty.

13:19

Oh, the other the other thing

13:21

that that came up I was watching program

13:23

the other day that was Joanna Lomley and

13:26

she went to Rome.

13:28

And she was being shown around Rome and everything else

13:30

and she goes into a

13:32

couple of shops. She goes to Bulgaria, and

13:35

she goes to Dior and a few other places.

13:37

And they're looking at these beautiful

13:39

diamonds, which were sold to

13:41

the Hollywood movie stars. And

13:44

one of the Hollywood movie stars was Gina

13:46

Lola Bridgida. And she was

13:48

wearing this beautiful beauty. I mean, it's

13:50

just all diamonds and everything else. And

13:52

then she turns up in the shop and

13:54

Joe Lumber is sitting with her and she goes, you're

13:57

ninety five, she goes, you

13:59

know, what do you, you know, what do you remember of

14:01

all those times? And she said, look, anyway, she

14:03

dropped dead the other day. Typical

14:05

so, not Joanne Alumbly, Gina Lola

14:07

Brichida. Ninety five, she died, but she

14:09

was only on my television literally two

14:11

days ago. Sitting there looking I

14:13

mean, she looked amazing. She

14:15

looked amazing, but she was ninety five and

14:17

she'd possessed all these beautiful

14:19

beautiful diamonds and they

14:21

created these wonderful pieces,

14:23

which well, it's like Elizabeth Taylor. I think one of the

14:25

pieces they showed you was an Elizabeth

14:27

Taylor piece. And I think

14:29

I think Burton paid one point

14:31

two million for it,

14:33

which in those days was a small

14:35

fortune, but I

14:37

think Joiner Lumberly said, but where did he get the money

14:39

from? He was he wasn't earning that much money

14:41

at all. But I remember when

14:43

Burton and Taylor arrived in London, they

14:45

had huge boat moored by Tower

14:47

Bridge, and they lived on it, and the

14:49

press camped out outside. And

14:51

they were literally allowed to be on the boat

14:54

or something. can't remember why that happened actually,

14:56

but anyway, they were they were living on this boat and of

14:58

course the press wanted to know all about their

15:00

relationship and all this kind of thing. But she

15:02

had the most beautiful jewelry. When

15:04

it was sold, it went for

15:06

millions millions and millions. So the

15:08

Elizabeth Taylor collection, I think, was one of the

15:10

biggest collections they'd ever had at some because

15:12

I think every year Burton bought her a

15:14

beautiful piece and it had

15:16

to be bigger and better than the previous

15:18

year and it was just absolutely wonderful.

15:21

Axel Rose As revealed, he had a

15:23

secret friendship with Lisa Marie Pressley.

15:26

I think she had a shaken relationship with

15:28

just about everybody. I mean, I've never heard of so

15:30

many people. And

15:32

so he his he had a secret friendship,

15:35

not anymore. Not

15:37

anymore. I think, to be honest with you, I think she

15:39

was quite seriously ill. Hence

15:41

sort of dying of the cardiac, and

15:43

she'd had problems with substance

15:46

abuse and things like that over the years.

15:48

But still terribly sad. See, I didn't even know she

15:50

was a singer. I had no idea that was the one

15:52

thing that had escaped me completely. I

15:54

just knew she worked in a Burger Van over here because she

15:56

was going out with somebody. And he had a burgundy

15:58

chip van and she was serving burgundy

16:00

chips. The press made a big deal about

16:02

it. Sean

16:05

Penn is sixty two now, a

16:07

rare sighting with his ex wife,

16:09

Robin Wright. They started

16:11

dating in nineteen eighty nine. They were

16:13

wed up till twenty ten, they were dressed casually

16:15

as they held onto their luggage. I don't know. They're

16:17

gonna get back together again. Who knows?

16:20

Adam Woodyat kicked off with a social

16:22

media scam after a

16:24

site falsely uses his weight loss

16:26

to advertise its account. This is the

16:28

problem you see. This is the problem.

16:30

I noticed the other day they had on loose women,

16:32

Joe O'Meara. Because she's

16:34

got back problems. And all I kept thinking

16:36

was you're a racist. You know, the

16:38

shilporschetti thing. That's the only thing

16:40

that ever comes to mind whenever I

16:42

think of Joe O'Meara Jade Goody and the other

16:44

one. I just, you know, I just had to

16:46

turn off. I can't watch things like that. It's

16:48

almost if they've airbrushed it under

16:50

the under the the

16:52

line. Did a woman give birth at an

16:54

Arctic Monkees concert in Sydney? There

16:56

was a a rumor a woman gave

16:58

birth. It turned out false.

17:00

Both. She didn't give birth,

17:02

so it doesn't matter. And Tom Hanks

17:04

wishes more fans loved his understated

17:07

performance. In the two thousand two movie, Road two

17:09

Perdition. And

17:11

he said, I'm more associate with Toy Story,

17:13

Splash saving pride, Ryan, and Philadelphia

17:15

and Forest Gump. He said, but

17:17

there's one he wishes got more love. So that was rowed to

17:20

petition. John Laraquette

17:22

was paid in weed To

17:24

narrate a nineteen seventy four movie called

17:26

The Texas Chain Saw massacre and

17:30

so he he did it. And he he was given

17:32

some marijuana for

17:34

doing the voice of they

17:36

all just bypassed me. I'll tell you

17:38

must be the only person in the

17:40

world again. What about drugs say? A bit of

17:42

coke? Can you afford it? I don't think I can

17:44

afford it. Yes, but I've never done it. That

17:46

would just be a point, honestly, with the illnesses I've

17:48

had, god did ever last thing I wanna do is drugs.

17:50

Thank you very much. Oh, I tell her I did do

17:52

Halliburange once. I was quite big

17:54

into Halliburange, you know, one tablet a day.

17:56

My mother used to religiously stand there in the

17:58

bathroom. tablet. My

18:00

brother, tablet. Top gun, the

18:02

Maverick, producer leads the door open for another

18:04

movie sequel. Another movie after the

18:06

sequel made one point five billion.

18:08

One point five billion. And Amy

18:11

Winehouse, seen on set for the first

18:13

time alongside her on screen

18:15

dad playing Mitch who looked

18:17

so old. So old.

18:19

And it's Marissa Abella who's been

18:21

seen on set for the first time.

18:24

And I don't know if you could say she

18:26

looks like Amy Winehouse. I'm sure we

18:28

seem to like these sort of things. Don't

18:30

we? Like them very much

18:32

indeed. Listen. Thank you very much indeed for your

18:34

company this morning. Should we do it tomorrow? I hope it

18:36

don't I hope it don't get snow in London, but I've just got

18:38

this feeling before the end of the week is

18:40

out. I'm gonna look out the window

18:42

and it's gonna be coming down sheets

18:44

of it. And if it comes down

18:46

fast and it comes down in the next twenty four

18:48

hours, it's likely to

18:50

settle. And that's because it's cold,

18:52

it'll freeze. Which means we'll be all over

18:54

the blind place. But I had a very good driver this

18:56

morning, Lee. He's worked as a bouncer on

18:58

film sets and stuff like that, and he knew the

19:00

East End very well, the East End that

19:02

I know. And we were having a

19:04

chat about all the old at the Cray's.

19:06

Apparently, his one of his ex

19:08

girlfriends used to go out with one of

19:10

the Cray's. Can't be the gay one, Candice. It'll have to be the other

19:12

one. So that was quite interesting. We had a good old

19:14

chat this morning, which was very nice

19:16

indeed. So anyway, a good

19:18

day. I'll talk to you tomorrow at the same time. Don't

19:20

forget to podcast as many as you

19:22

can because it a, it's

19:24

well worth it and b, My boss

19:26

gives me a pat on the back of the bar of

19:28

chocolates, you know, it provided I I get the numbers up.

19:30

And as we're not doing too badly, million

19:32

downloads a month Let's keep pushing onwards and

19:34

upwards and see if we can get it up to sort of one

19:36

point five million, two million, it'd be very nice

19:38

indeed. Tell your friends, and

19:40

I shall thank you in advance. I thank

19:42

you. I'll talk to you tomorrow till then.

19:44

Stay safe. Leading

19:46

Britain's conversation, LBC.