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On global player, owned.

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Play, LBC. Leading Britain's

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conversation,

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this is This

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is LVC from Global,

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leading Britain's conversation with

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Steve Allen. Pulling everybody final day

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November, Wednesday, November the thirteenth, I very

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nearly didn't make it today, bit of an altercation with

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the taxi company. Cup, bloody called

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the liar. if you please. I shall tell

0:26

you the full story very shortly as I'm prone to

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doing. Really, I must say, disgraceful service.

0:30

Disgraceful service for an account holder. What

0:33

have we got for you? all the three lines, three

0:35

goals, three games from the finals. So that's looking

0:38

very promising. Everybody go, and they're doing

0:40

it all without booze. It's not bad, is it?

0:43

A miracle in itself, the Christmas Turkey

0:45

shortage fear. And

0:47

the rise of DIY ear

0:50

treatment. There's a new place to attend in Twickenham.

0:52

It's got earwax, and I remember to think

0:54

it used for the dentist, or should it be so

0:56

a dentist? But if they're doing earwax treatments

0:58

now, which is very odd how many people are doing earwax

1:01

treatment. Also, the doctor who

1:03

can see you now, but she's

1:05

two hundred and sixty miles away and

1:07

Emma Radicarno walks into collect her award,

1:10

apparently, for playing tennis, something she gets angry.

1:12

That'd be well paid for. Unfortunately,

1:15

the D0R out it makes it look like a reject

1:18

from the Madrid Spanish writing school.

1:20

I've never seen anything so ghastly. My entire

1:22

life is apparently costing ten thousand

1:24

quid.

1:26

See it coming on that one. I'll tell you if you're gonna waste

1:28

ten grand, grateful. More trees

1:30

were blown down and planted last year and

1:32

the anti oil fanatic. Set

1:34

to jail for six months, come on, let's get more of

1:36

them in the nick. So much easier, isn't it?

1:39

And so that'll that'll sort them out in

1:41

some, but won't when they come out, they just carry

1:43

on doing it again. So next time it happens,

1:45

make it a year and then we do two years and three

1:47

years and so it goes on. anger is pension

1:49

is around to pay by one billion pounds.

1:52

But I got my winter heating allowance yesterday

1:55

because I might be looking at the bank account thinking, oh, it

1:57

looks it looks bigger. it's grown

1:59

and five hundred pounds

2:02

up

2:02

on the deal, which is quite nice because

2:05

you get that now. It would have been I think it

2:07

was three hundred or is it two hundred anyway?

2:09

Whatever it is, it's sort of more and so I get five hundred

2:11

pounds. And then it got paid in automatically,

2:13

which I was very pleased about. Thank you very much indeed.

2:15

So listen, freeze this winter. Mind

2:17

you, when you get it, it's it's a one off payment,

2:19

and then we get the pension probably in about a

2:21

week and a bit time. I seem to get my pension all

2:23

over the base. You think you'd get it at the end of the month, but you

2:25

don't. I get it, you know, about

2:27

the eighteenth or something like that. But

2:30

again, it's always a nice surprise. I look

2:32

at it as free money. I think

2:34

it's a bit like free willy. Now

2:36

I take I take that back as something completely

2:38

different, isn't it? But free free money

2:40

is is something quite nice that people

2:42

have to survive on it. I mean, luckily, I have

2:44

a job The man who was killed

2:46

as a cow escape from a market,

2:49

and the mega cartel rage, you know, you saw

2:51

the other day, apparently a third of the drugs go

2:53

through this particular cartel. and

2:55

the wife of one of them has gone, he's innocent. He's

2:58

innocent. He didn't do nothing like this at

3:00

all. And I thought, yeah, people always

3:02

say that. You know, we're gonna admit that that they're

3:04

not Childhood

3:07

best pals are reunited, and Doron

3:09

French wants to be buried in her

3:11

vicar of Dibley robes. we

3:13

can arrange that. You'd be buried in whatever you like.

3:16

I mean, I'm gonna be buried. Oh, no.

3:18

You said, finally, people always ask it because I'm not gonna

3:20

be buried. I'm gonna be cremated. So

3:22

I just say it takes up less room. It

3:24

takes up much, you know. And and also

3:26

if, you know, you have a burial. It's all

3:28

very nice. but then after

3:31

a while, people don't visit or

3:33

something like that. So what what's the point? It just

3:35

takes up room in the cemetery. So think

3:37

I'm I'm gonna be cremated. I've decided that

3:39

actually. And also, tonics, you know, they make

3:41

tea cakes and all sorts of bits and pieces.

3:43

They're looking for people to work for them, but unfortunately,

3:45

if you're a nail bite, they don't want

3:48

to. So I couldn't work for Thanox

3:50

because I'd bite my nails. I've always

3:52

bitten my nails ever since I was a

3:54

wee lad. It was as I was a wee lad,

3:56

I bit my nails. My mother tried everything,

3:58

shuffled me money, didn't make any

4:00

difference at all. And if I was really good, I

4:02

could actually get my foot in my mouth and bite my

4:04

toe nails. I mean,

4:06

obviously no chance of that now. Clifford

4:09

says long tours are terrifying. And

4:13

at Dorney's excellent column,

4:15

back to day in the paper, plus Mark Lester,

4:18

experimented with various drugs at the height of his

4:20

fame, how to play to produce who Mount Lester

4:23

was. He was old liver, old

4:25

liver. In the

4:27

film, Oliver, and who

4:30

will buy this one to them. And it was

4:32

the one of the producers I think on the program.

4:34

His daughter sang for him because Mark Lester

4:36

couldn't sit. He couldn't dance either. as

4:38

you can see, when he does calm, sit to yourself,

4:40

he can't dance for toffee. But

4:43

Rita Ora gets her own stamp It's

4:45

in Kosovo, so you won't be seeing that.

4:47

And the diner

4:50

who had an oyster goes out to an

4:52

oyster place and he almost swallows

4:54

a one in ten thousand pearl which

4:56

was in it because it's a grain of sand, isn't

4:59

it? Which get in a noise to shell, and as it

5:01

moves about, the oyster moves it turns gradually

5:03

into a pearl if you're lucky. you. So when you open

5:05

your oyster, I mean, he nearly swallowed it.

5:07

But I mean, to be honest with you, to see

5:09

it straight away. It's a round pearl,

5:11

one in ten thousand, worth a bit of money for

5:13

him. he eats I mean, I'd personally

5:15

wanna do that. I'd like to eat oysters.

5:18

No. Apparently, it's goofy and libido. No.

5:20

No, it doesn't. It's absolutely ridiculous. All

5:22

these things, which must be good for your libido, just a way of

5:24

them getting rid of rubbish food. because

5:26

years ago, oysters were food for the poor

5:28

people. You could get ten oysters

5:30

for a penny. Ten o just repetitive.

5:32

It was it was a poor people. It wasn't, you know,

5:34

nowadays they go, oh, you're having oysters. It's

5:36

like having snails now for poor people.

5:38

Oh, it snails for God's sake. Apart

5:41

from other snails. because

5:43

aren't snails? What do they call it when they're

5:45

both male and female? Can't

5:47

remember what it is. It's one of those

5:49

fun little words. Hematford. That's right. They

5:51

are Hematfordite. So they

5:53

they they can turn into both male and female. I've got a

5:55

producer like that. It's unbelievable. one

5:57

day you come to Nacera the next day

5:59

he's in his what is the name

6:01

of that plan? Anyway, I was forget

6:03

it, but miss miss froggett. we

6:06

call looks like a scene out of

6:08

that fabulous show. I I really wanna

6:10

sit at the cinema, Matilda. I

6:12

really wanna go see Matilda. because I saw it on

6:14

stage at the Cambridge station. I thought the kids were

6:16

brilliant. You know, to get kids who speak

6:18

Russian is very very

6:20

clever. and they have to speak. They've got a lot

6:22

of Russian dialogue in this thing.

6:24

And they they rattle it off. I mean, how they've

6:26

learned it. I've got no idea, but

6:28

absolutely brilliant. Once we get the

6:30

producer to speak English, we're on. We're on.

6:33

It's going. The Christmas market in Manchester

6:35

labeled a rip off. Why? because

6:37

they charged how much for a cup of hot

6:39

chocolate. Would you believe nine

6:42

quid? I mean,

6:44

I think that is true. Mind you, who

6:46

knows? If you've got a cup of hot chocolate,

6:48

and I do like a cup of hot chocolate, not all the

6:50

time because it's very bad for me. But if you

6:52

have it with supposedly brandy,

6:55

and with sprinkles

6:58

and with marshmallows and

7:00

cream. I could see that waken up

7:02

to nine quids. I I could

7:04

Yeah. But if you go to Winter Wonderland, I

7:06

bet you're looking not far off nine quid up

7:08

there at Winter Wonderland for a for a

7:10

hot chocolate seasonal hot chocolate because if

7:12

you have a hot chocolate with brandy in it, really

7:14

brilliant. It's really great. And if you have the

7:16

marshmallows on the top and the cream and all the

7:18

other, it's really nice. Don't

7:20

have it. You can

7:21

get

7:22

sixty minutes pies for a tenor for more of that. Well,

7:24

do you wanna know what's it? Sixty minutes pies

7:27

or one hot chocolate? give it as I say, it

7:29

might have the sprinkles. It might you can get those

7:31

little marshmallows, which they do. And then the

7:33

cream on the top. Yeah. But don't keep

7:35

going about sixty minutes pies. You tight

7:37

fisted little person. ridiculous

7:39

something. It comes from Maidenhead, lives in a

7:41

three million pound mansion. Okay? It doesn't

7:43

have to pay a penny, got his own wing,

7:45

his own swimming pool, Massus

7:48

comes in twice a week. I think

7:50

that's what they said. And, you know, it

7:52

doesn't have to cook food or anything else and then goes

7:54

on, oh, it's nine pounds, so You know?

7:56

Yeah. Shofered to bring him in and out of work. There's me

7:58

struggle for the cab company. So anyway, the

8:00

cab company story. know, and

8:02

then he didn't make it today. Now, I have

8:04

an account with this cab firm. I've had

8:06

it for years. Must

8:08

be a good ten, fifteen

8:11

years. and I have a regular

8:13

booking. And the regular booking is for

8:15

one forty five in the morning. Now I

8:17

always think, you know, I'd rather get into work a bit

8:19

sooner so I change it. I phone up and

8:21

I change it. and you phone up and they say the

8:23

same thing to you. Hello? Have

8:25

you got your booking reference? But of course, the

8:27

time I leave in the morning, I don't have the booking reference at

8:29

that time, it comes through much later. So I go

8:31

no. I've got an account number. Okay.

8:33

What's the account number? You know,

8:35

if you're very lucky, you manage to get one who

8:38

can string two words together. Or failing

8:40

that, if they can't do it on the on the

8:42

on the account number, they ask you a

8:44

postcode. So I said yesterday,

8:46

you know, sensor sensor postcode.

8:48

Okay. Where where's it going to? The chance of the same

8:50

person, should there be quite a number of bookings on

8:52

that account? I said, no, there aren't. There's only

8:54

one for each day, but it's one each day

8:56

Monday through Friday. You have to explain it very

8:58

slowly. And so she

9:00

then goes, okay.

9:02

Right? So what time do you want to

9:04

change it to? And I always say exactly you could

9:06

you could, you know, record me and I'd say the

9:08

same thing every day. What time have you got it

9:10

down for? because sometimes they go,

9:12

data protection act can't tell you. You think,

9:14

listen, I've come up with my own account number, my

9:16

postcode, just open it, do

9:18

it properly. they're not being trained properly. That's that's the

9:20

problem. They're literally taking on people and not

9:22

training them. So I said I said what time you

9:24

got it down four she goes? Got it down four one forty five.

9:26

So can you change it to one AM? And

9:28

then, really, quick as a flash, she went,

9:30

okay, that's been done for you. I

9:32

said, okay. I said, let me just confirm.

9:35

This is one AM tomorrow morning,

9:37

Wednesday morning. And she

9:39

said, yes. She said, you send me confirmation.

9:41

Yes. We've got my email address, steve at

9:43

lbc dot co dot u k. Yes.

9:45

That's fine. Done. I

9:47

said, you're sure that's confirmed. Yes, that's fine.

9:49

Put the phone down. Go to bed. Go to me

9:51

bits and pieces. Wake up, get

9:53

myself ready. looking a bit cool today,

9:55

a couple of colors in, you know,

9:57

and a little bit hair coloring, a little bit of

9:59

bronzer, you know, to make myself a lot

10:01

more interesting. She's selling tea towels because we've got the

10:03

Steve Allen radio royalty tea towels

10:05

to go today from Global's

10:07

make some noise on their website.

10:10

So It gets to

10:12

five to one, and I'm

10:14

waiting for the car. And I thought, you know, you

10:16

know, when you get a feeling of doom, You just

10:18

get a feeling. So I phone up and I go, I'm

10:20

just wondering where my car is.

10:22

So she go, they're in Peterborough, the call

10:24

center. In Peterborough. So so I

10:26

just wonder where my car is. Well,

10:28

it's not due to one forty five. I said, no,

10:30

I changed it yesterday. I changed

10:33

it. at five to twelve. I know

10:35

that because it took three minutes for

10:37

her to change it. And so she'll

10:39

got no no record of it being changed. It's one

10:41

one forty five. I said,

10:43

I changed I thought you're calling me. I

10:45

said, why would I phone up and sort of pretend I'd

10:47

made a change in the booking? If I hadn't made a

10:49

change in the booking, I don't quite understand

10:51

it. So she said, well, listen, there's no

10:53

no record of it. She couldn't really care

10:55

less. She wasn't remotely bothered. I said,

10:57

but I need to be at work by one thirty. That's

10:59

why I changed it to one AM

11:01

in the morning. She said there was no record of it.

11:03

I said, so basically, this

11:05

girl who took took the the the change

11:07

of booking, she lied. She said, well,

11:09

that there's no record of that. I

11:12

said, sir, you're calling me a liar. She said,

11:14

well, there's no evidence that that you

11:16

changed the book. It's do check.

11:19

Do check because it's

11:21

very likely somebody who has never

11:23

ever done bookings before says yes,

11:25

I'll change it. I had one the other week who

11:27

said I can't change it. I said

11:29

why? He said because it's too short notice. This was

11:31

eleven o'clock in the morning. I said,

11:33

this is not till one AM tomorrow morning, and

11:35

then he went to a clinic. And I said, oh, you can

11:37

because you're an account customer. I said,

11:39

I told you I can change it. Where getting

11:41

these idiots from? It may really

11:44

annoyed me. So anyway, so I had to wait

11:46

till quarter two and then I get the slowest

11:48

driver in Christendom. you know, I'll

11:50

get out and push the bloody car for

11:52

you. But, you know, to be called a

11:54

liar, really annoys me because you only have to look at

11:56

my history to see I change it every

11:58

single day. and so to have somebody in the other end

11:59

who might have done loads of calls that day

12:02

and screwed up every single one of

12:04

them. And you wonder, why

12:06

I said, you know, and I'm paying a lot of money for this

12:08

service. It's a service. I'm

12:11

paying a lot of money. I mean, in the course of the year,

12:13

it's over twenty thousand pounds. you

12:15

know, I'd be better off buying a bloody bicycle.

12:18

It's certainly a lot more reliable, that's

12:20

a fact. But anyway, and I had to phone up the

12:22

producer, what I did not just entertain. dear

12:24

whoever it made concern, I start

12:26

off with because I bought putting his name on it

12:28

because he thinks it's something I've seen. So he

12:30

calls the police and then we get the plate on,

12:32

because he's so out of hand. And so

12:34

I said, I might be late and

12:36

explained roughly what was sort of going on, but it's so

12:38

frustrating. You know, when you've done

12:40

something, I mean, how difficult could it be to

12:42

be professional? The answer is

12:44

not very difficult. But

12:46

anyway, I'm gonna find out who's actually looking after

12:48

my account and make an official complaint

12:50

this morning. because I'm not gonna be called a liar

12:52

by anybody when I change it every I said, look

12:54

at my history. I change it every single day and

12:56

it's always about the same time.

12:59

really annoying, honestly. I can understand if you were

13:01

just an ordinary person, but I'm a huge

13:03

international star. I can't

13:05

understand why anybody would start messing

13:07

about with these sort of things. you know, it's not like I'm

13:09

getting it for free. God

13:11

knows they're very quick to put it on your credit

13:13

card, but, you know, you get somebody. I thought

13:15

I thought she'd operate too quickly. When she said, yeah,

13:17

that's been done for you. I thought, don't know

13:19

why? Should've should've gone back and checked it with somebody

13:21

else and found out, but but I

13:23

didn't. So we'll try it again tomorrow. We'll

13:25

see. see how much they can screw up on that one.

13:27

Really frustrating. And of course, it's gonna

13:29

get worse going into Christmas. One

13:31

of them, I said I said, I need

13:33

to check. This was at eleven o'clock in the

13:35

morning. I'm changing for the one AM

13:37

in the morning. And I said, I need to change it. Well,

13:39

we haven't got any cars available. So

13:41

I said, I said, it'd be stupid.

13:43

Of course, you've got cars available. I said, what

13:45

about my car? That's available, isn't

13:47

it? You just bring it forward a little bit.

13:49

we haven't got any cars available. And

13:52

I said, listen, this is this is

13:54

eleven o'clock in the morning. I'm looking for a

13:56

car for one AM tomorrow morning. Your we haven't got

13:58

anything available. He said, well, that's what the computers say.

14:00

I know. I think it's just

14:02

unbelievable. And then one of them said to me said, oh,

14:04

there there'll be a delay on your car.

14:06

I said, Why? I said, there's road works on the

14:08

A4I said, no, there's not. I

14:10

said, I live in at the trouble is there

14:12

in Peterborough. They've got no idea

14:14

whatsoever. No

14:16

idea about London, you know. And so you

14:18

have to tell them your postcode and where

14:20

you're going to. And of course, I can't remember our

14:22

postcode completely. So I just go WC2

14:24

and they go and the rest of it and I go, I don't

14:26

know, why don't you look it up on your computer?

14:28

You know, why don't you do some work for a

14:30

change? Honestly, makes you

14:32

feel like going to another company, doesn't it really?

14:35

But somebody says, why don't you change the booking to one

14:37

AMP? Have you seen how you have what you have to do

14:39

to change it permanently? my

14:41

god. It'll be emails, backwards and forwards, but I

14:43

I think you're right. I think I will sort of

14:45

change it because but the time the the

14:47

driver gets there, you're like crawling up

14:49

walls but at least I had the Christmas lights to

14:51

look at so that cheered me up and then I I had a

14:53

little bit of chocolate and had a nice

14:55

cup of tea. Steve, hello,

14:57

on LV Easter. Molly, nice

14:59

heavy company. I'm in a good mood, really. I'm always in a

15:01

good mood actually because I read the papers and we

15:03

did well at the football, whatever that is. I've

15:05

got no idea. People always ask me, why

15:07

they ask me? I've got no idea. You

15:09

know? So what do you think about the football? I couldn't

15:11

care less. But at least we're

15:13

looking excitable. And

15:16

we won. So that's that's quite nice,

15:18

you know. So it's rash bang wall

15:21

up. Get that rash bang wall up. double

15:23

fires the three lines into the last sixteen, so

15:25

that's good. The Times today, how

15:27

the Times landed its first world

15:29

exclusive the secrets of tutankhamun.

15:32

But still isn't it funny? There are certain things

15:34

throughout history that still get you

15:36

going. One would be the sinking of

15:38

the Titanic, One would be

15:40

toot and car moon, and there are stories which

15:42

just go on. I mean, you know, the Titanic when you

15:44

actually look at it. It was called Titanic

15:46

because they said it would never sink, but I mean, they would have known

15:48

that the capture was so stupidly drove it into

15:50

an iceberg. I mean, what are they gonna do

15:52

about it? And the answer is the temperature in the

15:54

water. That's what basically killed

15:56

people. It was the water temperatures.

15:58

whereas there there was one bloke who was

16:01

off his face in

16:03

the bar. And when the boat tipped

16:05

up on end because it it broke

16:07

in half, and started going down

16:09

when his bit reached the water,

16:11

he stepped off into the water and

16:13

paddled away. because

16:15

he's had so much booze, the cold didn't

16:18

affect him. And that's what happens. If it's really,

16:20

really freezing cold, you have loads of booze. I did it

16:22

years and years ago. with a friend of mine, we

16:24

decided to get well, we didn't decide to

16:26

get drunk, but we we did

16:28

get drunk because he he

16:30

used to yeah. he was drinking Jack

16:32

Daniels, and I'd never drunk Jack Daniels

16:34

before. So we were drinking Jack Daniels. And I

16:36

remember thinking, oh, this is crap. And then, of course, you get

16:38

drunk. And then you go, oh, let's go for a walk. And

16:40

so we went off for a walk in the

16:42

park near us. It's got a little

16:44

tiny fence around it, like a

16:46

little low fence. I don't know. No more

16:48

than eighteen inches. something like

16:50

that. And so we stepped over it. I had

16:52

trainers on the day I was wearing trainers when I was

16:54

young enough to wear trainers. Not now, of course,

16:56

I just looked ridiculous. and

16:58

and my foot got caught on one of the

17:00

spikes on the little tiny

17:02

fence. It had little spikes all the way aligned. And I

17:04

didn't think anything about it.

17:06

I didn't think anything about it. Well, I sort of fell over at the

17:08

same time as we prised my foot off. I got home.

17:11

And her night sailing and

17:14

climbed into bed and

17:16

woke up in the middle of the night to

17:18

go to the Lou. and I

17:20

looked in the bed and it was like I'd hemorrhaged. on called hemorrhaged

17:24

And the bare bed was awash

17:26

with blood. I've

17:28

never seen so much blood in my entire

17:30

life, walk to the bathroom, in the

17:32

hall, all this blood, all

17:34

the way down the hall, and what had happened was

17:36

the spike had pierced through

17:38

my trainers into my foot, and my

17:40

foot was bleeding, like there was

17:42

no tomorrow. And so I was there on my hands

17:44

and knees. I had three in the morning trying to scrub

17:46

the blood off. and it was a beige twist

17:49

carpet. So annoying. And

17:51

and the bled the

17:53

bled, which had bled, I had to take the sheets

17:55

off and all the rest of it. And then I went to

17:57

the hospital just to make sure that it wasn't gonna

17:59

turn septic, which it did. So

18:01

I had all the inject and all little bits and

18:03

pieces, but it was it was good actually. It

18:06

was it was it was it was good because it was an

18:08

entertainment never to drink Jack Daniels

18:10

ever again. I thought, no. No.

18:12

No. No. Tony

18:14

says Tony's in

18:16

Pevensie Bay. I think I've heard of Pevensie

18:19

Bay. It sounds quite

18:21

nice actually. I seem to remember seeing

18:23

pictures of it some some time

18:25

ago because what we tend to do is people write in, they

18:27

say where they are, and then we

18:29

then sort of get the the photos up,

18:31

and I can have a look at it. It I mean, it's

18:33

only two hours seven minutes

18:36

from London. and it's

18:38

near Western. It's got a castle. And

18:41

it's it's sort of it's it's nice.

18:43

It's an old fishing village. I think

18:46

founded in the sixteen hundred. When

18:48

it was walls end, it

18:50

was walls end. At the end of the

18:52

seabull from Eastbourne, even now it's only just above

18:54

so it's a big beach. It's

18:56

still got groins. It's still got groins. Do

18:58

you know what groins are? Do you? You

19:00

know what? No. You don't. Do you know what groins are

19:02

quite clear? You see those things there, which are

19:04

right in front of those posts,

19:07

their groins, GR0YNESI

19:11

think it's spelled. And that's to

19:13

make sure that the tide doesn't come in so hot. It's broken up

19:15

by the by these wooden

19:18

posts and groins. You get them on all

19:20

the beaches. So it kind of splits the beach up.

19:22

You can see this one a little bit further look

19:24

that they all the way along, and that's

19:26

to stop, you know, the

19:28

sea doing greater damage. So

19:30

that's why it looks lovely actually. Although I haven't sat on

19:32

a beach for years. Soon as

19:34

I've not been on a beach for years, you know, when I was younger,

19:36

we used to go on beaches all

19:38

the time you swim in the sea. I mean, have you have

19:40

you ever got a mouthful of seawater?

19:43

Ugh, goodness me. It's

19:45

so salty. It really is

19:47

it, ghastly, dreadful.

19:49

Mark and Norris says, don't don't get

19:51

cremated. Have a think about it and change your mind or at

19:53

least wait until you're dead. No.

19:55

No. I've decided cremation. I

19:57

can't think of anything worse than

19:59

a than a funeral. It's much nicer to

20:01

have, you know, somebody's scattering rashes. I'm gonna be

20:03

put into an egg timer. so I

20:05

can sort of, you know, really annoy people.

20:08

And they'll just turn me upside down in the

20:10

kitchen every so often. Shane and Sydney said I went

20:12

to the coffee shop today after doing my shopping, had

20:14

a coffee. took out a piece of cake that I bought

20:16

at the supermarket. They told me not to eat the cake

20:18

because I didn't because

20:20

I didn't buy it there. Yes. I've heard of that before.

20:23

Yeah. You have to buy their cake,

20:25

you know, they don't you take it anywhere. I

20:27

mean, I I would I would never actually

20:29

buy cake elsewhere and then take it into a place and

20:31

eat it. Although I saw some people sitting

20:33

outside of Cafe at Richmond station the other day, only

20:35

one person bought a coffee, but there are three

20:37

people sitting at the table. I wanted to say to him,

20:39

oh, get off.

20:41

Shoo.

20:41

shoot. Get back

20:43

on your train. Gosh, good people.

20:45

Scott says if England get to the football

20:47

final, when you watch it, Steve, we must get

20:49

behind our team. safeest way, I should imagine. Susan

20:52

and and sister Carol.

20:55

Great sister Carol. reminds

20:58

me, I think it was sister Carol who was in a

21:00

film and she sings a song at the end

21:02

of it. She's doing a

21:04

reggae version of

21:07

WildHing Uh-oh. And I think that's sister Carol, and

21:09

she's standing in a doorway. She's

21:11

fabulous at wild thing. From the film, something wild

21:13

in nineteen eighty six, She's

21:15

a Jamaican born american reggae recording artist.

21:18

And she's used many other names. She I think she's

21:20

been black Cinderella and mother culture.

21:22

but she sings wild thing. At the end of the film was the credits are rolling.

21:24

She's sad at it, you know, wild

21:26

thing. Uh-oh. It's really,

21:28

really good. Check it out.

21:30

It's good. She was born in Kingston,

21:33

Jamaica. And I just

21:35

thought she was so good because it just fitted in at the end of

21:37

the film. Have you seen a just you you

21:39

tap at the top at the end of the film. Okay?

21:41

And have have a look at sister

21:44

Carol singing wild and it's at the end of this film

21:46

something wild, which is a good film that you must watch. It's

21:48

quite an old one, but it's well worth watching. If

21:50

only to get sister Carol singing

21:52

at the end, but she's just standing in

21:54

a doorway, There you go. So they're they're

21:56

going here. This is the end.

21:58

And we've got your music

21:59

up. We've got the music

22:00

up. Put put put not for me. Put the

22:03

sound up for you. and here we

22:05

go. And and then the camera just pans

22:07

across, and there

22:09

she is singing in a doorway.

22:12

Just just absolutely brilliant.

22:16

Uh-oh.

22:17

Wild thing. It's a so it

22:19

the most founding. In fact, that was the thing that liven up

22:21

the end of the film. To me, I just

22:23

thought it was absolutely super.

22:26

Absolutely super. It was worth it. So I

22:28

downloaded the the track to play in

22:30

my car, which I like, things like

22:32

that, actually. I must get the car watching. I've not got the

22:34

car wash for ages and ages. Age's

22:36

age is covered in leaves. Ridiculous.

22:38

I look like something out of the Grinch

22:40

and Christmas. Steve, why do you have

22:42

to change your car time every day?

22:45

Well, because I I should do it, actually. The producers offered to

22:47

do it for me soon as they're good. If if you plead

22:49

plead ignorance. Somebody somewhere

22:51

would go, oh, I'll do it for you.

22:53

But of course, he has to have the passwords and all the

22:55

rest of it. And I I

22:58

always get in the it's not like my my brother. I

23:00

get my brother to do all my banking and everything

23:02

else like that, and he deals with office

23:04

and he deals with VAT and everything

23:06

else. I mean, it's not what he does for a living. It's

23:08

just that he does it for me. And he's he's very I

23:10

just sort of hold my hands up and go, I can't do

23:12

it. I can't do it. And if if you it's like,

23:14

you know, like when you were a kid and

23:16

you used to do your washing up at home after

23:18

you'd broken a few plates and a few glasses, your

23:20

mother never asked you ever again. And that's how I

23:22

am with things. So the producer has said to me,

23:24

said, listen, I can sort it out for you. And

23:26

I thought that's really nice actually. You

23:29

know, because he's now got the the

23:31

lady's name who deals with my account. And

23:33

I think you're right. We need to change it permanently. And

23:35

then he can send an email saying I can

23:38

just confirm that Steve wants his car every day at one

23:40

o'clock. Except Christmas Day

23:42

because I drive into town on Christmas Day and

23:44

boxing day because I'm doing seven till ten

23:46

breakfast. I was driving here I've

23:48

I've got a a special place that I park it

23:51

because I used to park over the

23:53

road from here and

23:55

people used to egg it. They would egg the car because

23:57

they were so jealous. So sad, really. I used

23:59

to laugh at them really because they could barely stand

24:02

up for an egg or

24:04

a car. So, of course, I always used to water

24:06

and clots and everything and polish and

24:08

and the whole business. But, obviously, what a

24:10

dreadful waste of eggs, but there you

24:12

go. Did you know today says

24:14

Susan and Sister Carol is Saint

24:16

Andrew's Day? Yeah. I

24:18

didn't actually, but I'm I'm all in favor

24:20

of it. in favor of St. Andrew's Day. How

24:22

will we be celebrating? That

24:24

was it. Just done it. It's

24:27

St. Andrew's Day. Congratulations. Have

24:29

a nice day. And Steve,

24:31

Steve, Steve, I

24:33

don't trust pre booking cabs

24:35

now. Once I prebooked because I had a wedding

24:37

to get to. Come the day, the cab drivers

24:39

kept cancelling. because it was less money

24:41

because I pre booked it. It

24:43

it does. It's the only thing that

24:45

makes me gray. Seriously, I mean, my whole

24:47

hair will be wiped lot like Philip

24:49

Schofield. He must have had more trouble with cabs than

24:51

anybody I should imagine. But we

24:54

take all of your texts and emails

24:56

today. I I don't have a problem with

24:58

my hubby. It says, Genetto Kingsbury because he's a

25:00

London Black Cab driver. The tax is all

25:02

packed with her vintage wares, off up

25:04

to Wembley. Vintage, Be there

25:06

for Come It's near your favorite Costco. You know

25:09

Jeanette, I like Costco. You know

25:11

it's my favorite place. I need to go

25:13

there actually. because need to buy a couple more

25:15

Tins of Quality Street

25:17

and a few other things. And I was going to bring in today,

25:19

Bob, and that's not it. I was going to bring

25:21

in some Frérotte, the

25:23

big pack with all the different ones in, the light chocolate,

25:25

the dark chocolate, and the coconut on

25:27

the white chocolate, which is very nice indeed.

25:29

But I thought, no. No.

25:31

I'm unless the producer manages to

25:34

change my my cat booking. When

25:36

you've got the lady's name on there,

25:39

got the lady's name. So you can always write to and say he needs

25:41

to change this this booking after

25:44

the

25:44

kerfuffle. Steve

25:46

Allo on LVC. Text

25:48

84850 Morning,

25:51

nice happy company. Twenty six minutes

25:53

to five. So the

25:55

the new burger, which has a doughnut instead

25:57

of a bun, so they've got a sugar

26:00

doughnut, then they cut it in half and

26:02

they put the burger in. So it takes it up to the god

26:04

knows how many calories. whatever it is, I mean, I wouldn't

26:06

touch it with a bargepole. I I really wouldn't.

26:08

That sounds just like sounds like

26:10

a kiss of death, especially if

26:13

you're diabetic. What was the other

26:15

one? Oh, yeah. I mean, I looked

26:17

at it. To be honest with you, the

26:19

burger looks okay, but not with

26:21

a doughnut. You

26:23

think that looks amazing. Let's see. The trouble

26:25

is for you. You you get the producers of

26:27

that Lulu is amazing. You know, he'll eat that

26:29

now, but unfortunately, about a year's time he'll be

26:31

paying this back because this will settle on his hips and not go

26:33

any further. And he's going to be

26:36

enormous. Whereas clever old

26:38

Steve Allen, you know, is gonna be

26:40

going, oh, I wouldn't eat that because,

26:42

look at the sugar sitting on the top sugar

26:44

bar burger. No. Thank you.

26:46

No. No. No. No. No. Not

26:48

very good at all. Is it? Not very good.

26:50

So Emma Radicarno, the one who played

26:52

tennis once and now she just collects, you know,

26:55

endorsements and everything else. goes

26:57

to the palace to accept her award for

26:59

services to tennis. Although, to be honest with you,

27:01

she hasn't really done that well recently at

27:03

all she Anyway, she's wearing,

27:05

obviously, a freebie outfit. I

27:07

can't see anybody would cough up ten

27:09

thousand quid for this, making it look like

27:11

a Spanish riding school reject.

27:13

I mean, seriously, the hat is completely

27:15

wrong. Completely wrong. Although, how do you explain

27:17

to Adam, who's reading the news on one of our sister

27:19

stations that you have to wear a hat? But

27:22

this hat just makes her look

27:24

ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous. And

27:26

they say, oh, it's worth ten thousand pound. Of course,

27:28

it is. It's a freebie. That's

27:30

what the advert is. Here she is wearing one of our outfits.

27:33

It's ten thousand pounds, if you wanna look that

27:35

ridiculous, from Dior,

27:38

who's sponsored All of Harrods

27:40

windows deal everywhere. The whole thing

27:42

is deal deal this, deal that. I

27:44

mean, perhaps Harrods have fallen on

27:46

hard times. I can't believe that I can't

27:48

actually afford to put stuff up without doing

27:50

this this sort of, you know,

27:53

selling yourself to the the highest

27:55

bidder. But poor old age, honestly, you think

27:57

the amount of money she'd made she could have afforded to

27:59

buy her own outfit, obviously

28:02

not. And Tony

28:04

at Westgate on c, the art of Thanot,

28:06

says your taxi booking, did you tell them

28:08

who you were? no

28:11

No. They're in Peterborough. They've got no idea

28:13

at all. I mean, for this way, she didn't even know why

28:15

they're booking, you know. And as I say, calling me a

28:17

liar, I'm afraid, is the ultimate straw,

28:19

you know, nobody calls me a liar and gets away

28:21

with it. Thank you very much indeed. But if

28:23

if if it doesn't make any difference, it should

28:25

apply to everybody. somebody on the end of

28:27

a telephone calls you a lie. The worst thing is, if you

28:29

come back at them, click, they cut you

28:32

off. And you're sitting there going, so I've got to stand

28:34

here and wait for another forty five

28:36

minutes because you screwed up big time.

28:38

You've got a girl who's claiming she can

28:40

do these things and she can't

28:43

ridiculous. Tony and Mark, what

28:45

is it? The Tony shows? I mean, everybody's called

28:47

Tony. He says, when did you start watching

28:49

Christmas DVDs about the last

28:51

four weeks? Last four weeks, I watched Christmas

28:53

films every day. Except

28:55

yesterday,

28:55

when I

28:56

watched Jurassic Park,

28:59

I bought the box set And

29:01

so I watched the first one which has got the stupid children in it

29:03

thinking the second one would be better. No. Still

29:05

the same stupid children. Little

29:08

girl on a beach with mommy and

29:10

daddy. and she goes running off up the beach and they go come

29:12

back and the father goes leave her alone and

29:14

she's enjoying herself and you think you're

29:16

going to end your life on this beach love.

29:18

And so she goes and

29:20

she's got some food to play with. And and then she

29:23

goes then she goes sort of up into the

29:25

woodland area. And that's

29:27

when the little dinosaurs come

29:29

out. and the little dinosaur that comes out

29:31

and she feeds it, all of a sudden, there's another twenty

29:33

of the things. And the mother

29:35

then hears her screams and everything because they've

29:37

always got stupid children. You

29:40

know, every single one of the Jurassic parks

29:42

has got these children they listen.

29:44

You deserve to lose your life in this jungle

29:46

with this fake dinosaur. because

29:48

they go, let's get out of the car. It was a

29:50

pod that was I quite like the pod actually. I quite

29:52

like to go on one of these pods because they look quite

29:55

good. You should have those as They

29:57

had a funfair ride at went

30:00

to Wonderland and what it was a big

30:02

paddling pool and kids can go in it and it's

30:04

a big cellophane ball,

30:06

which you go in, and then you

30:08

can paddle a little really good. But I

30:10

think it's only for only for kitties.

30:12

It's not for art. Why didn't they do an adult version?

30:15

Oh, look, they do an adult version, did they? I've

30:17

seen that. I'm sure I've seen them on the c.

30:20

whatever it was, I remember thinking, you know, that looks fun.

30:22

I could go for somebody like that. It's not too

30:24

taxing or I could just sit there and

30:26

float. There you go it is. Yes.

30:28

a absorb water ball. They're

30:30

really good. They're really perhaps

30:32

I'll take take the producer as we can take them out

30:34

to say and leave them there. But

30:38

no. Oh, quite good, aren't they? Don't you think that's a

30:40

good idea? Yeah. From Lincolnshire,

30:42

Tallington Lakes, water's absorbing. They

30:44

call it dissolving. It's very

30:46

good, but they do that went to Wonderland what they

30:48

did a few years ago. And and I

30:50

remember thinking, I could do that. That's the sort of

30:52

thing I could nothing too complicated.

30:55

Nothing too complicated. What

30:57

was the other one that I called? Oh, yeah. Strangely, George

30:59

Michael's sister died

31:02

recently. didn't leave a

31:04

will but left only six

31:06

million pounds. Despite inheriting with

31:08

her other sister, the bulk of his

31:10

ninety six million pound will

31:13

Where's that gone? Even if they

31:15

inherited twenty million

31:17

between them, ten million and she left six

31:20

million How does that happen? That's very odd,

31:22

isn't it? James Whale used

31:24

to be an LBC all those years ago,

31:26

and he announced that the Curry Awards

31:29

that he's got terminal cancer. He said, say what you

31:31

like about me. He said, because this time next

31:33

year, I will not be here, and it made me think,

31:35

actually. Johnny Irwin,

31:37

you know, loads of other people who've died. I had to remind myself

31:39

about Bill Turnbull. Bill Turnbull had died as

31:41

well. And I still think that he's still alive. Then

31:43

they were saying, think in

31:45

Charles Brandridge's latest book that the Queen had

31:48

cancer as well, which she kept hidden

31:50

from people. And that's why all of a

31:52

sudden she she aged quite badly

31:54

because people have got cancer. Look look

31:56

great and then they start looking, you know, not as

31:58

good as they did before.

31:59

But to to hear,

32:01

that that sort of

32:04

James William has got terminal. I knew that he had

32:06

cancer because he'd had cancer before,

32:08

but this is terminal, and he says, I won't

32:10

be here this time next year. And it's he

32:12

said, but I can't complain. He said, I've had a

32:14

great life and he has. And that's

32:16

and that's exactly the

32:19

right thoughts, I would be exactly the

32:21

same. Exactly the same. If somebody said

32:23

to me, you know, you would do it on

32:25

your program. because then it sort

32:27

of means something to other people. So, you know, I

32:29

would be I wouldn't be one of these people not telling

32:31

people. I'd be one of these

32:33

people telling people. I've had

32:35

it. This is what I'm going through. Don't feel the

32:37

sparky today. I mean, I don't have it. Thank God because

32:39

I was tested when I had my my

32:41

scans and all the rest of it. But

32:43

It's a case if you have can't do anything about it. If

32:45

they say it's terminal, you've got

32:47

to learn to live with it and there's various books out. There's

32:49

a very good one called living with

32:52

cancer. You're not dying with cancer. You're living with

32:54

cancer. And he said, I've had a great life.

32:57

And I would be exactly the same. I couldn't

32:59

complain about anything. Alright. had

33:01

illness, but then everybody gets illness. Don't

33:03

they? You know, some people go all the way through their

33:05

life. They don't have any illness. They're all of a sudden they

33:07

get something like cancer. and they

33:09

go, it's, you know, it's very bad. I had a cousin who died

33:11

of cancer. And they had to take

33:13

his tongue out because it had spread

33:16

to his throat, so they they they took his

33:18

tongue out and everything else. And he was very young

33:20

when he died. He was he was he was

33:22

mid twenties. Mid twenties. I

33:24

remember his mother saying at the funeral, not supposed

33:26

to be like this. She said, he's

33:28

supposed to bury me. I'm not supposed

33:30

to bury him. And so, you know,

33:32

I would be the same as James Webb. I'll be

33:34

saying listen. what a fantastic You met all these

33:36

people. Not to work with a producer admittedly.

33:38

There's gonna be a downside to everything I should

33:41

imagine. Maybe that sounder going. See you. Wish me

33:43

luck. Enjoy your wave. Make good

33:45

bye. Here we go. cheerio

33:47

on your way. So I would

33:50

never complain about it. I

33:52

would never complain about it because as I say, if they

33:54

tell you you've got something, I would always want to be told, I

33:56

wouldn't want them to sort of hide anything from me.

33:58

tell me what I've got. You know, they've told me up until

34:01

now. Steve, thank you for the secret

34:03

mention. Says, Tony, your descriptions of

34:05

Phevancy Bay was absolutely perfect.

34:07

I know. It is very good, isn't it? See if you get your pension

34:09

around the eighteenth because you were born on the seventeenth

34:11

as Jeremy Manchester. Oh, is that

34:13

what it is? Alright. Oh, how exciting? But

34:15

I like you know, to be honest with you, I

34:18

don't feel old. I

34:20

don't feel, you know, people you you do get

34:22

some people. I've

34:24

met people of my age. In fact, people younger than me,

34:26

and I thought they looked worse. I

34:28

was I was sort of amazed. I'm I'm

34:30

quite lucky actually. I don't I don't

34:33

feel my age. Philip says,

34:35

read trees. Have you ever hugged

34:37

a tree? I've never

34:39

been that drunk. No. Not done tree hugging yet. He said,

34:41

I did it down under a New Zealand. It

34:44

was a very old tree. It

34:46

was wonderful. Yes. We've

34:48

got some very old trees near us

34:50

in Marble Hill Park.

34:52

Very very very old trees

34:54

probably planted in the sixteen hundreds, I would think. And the

34:57

girth is just they are notty

34:59

and not I mean, I should take some pictures

35:01

actually and put them up because they're really

35:04

old. Even in the storm, they didn't come they didn't blow down, mainly

35:06

because the roots probably go forever in a

35:08

day. Mike says, is seven minutes pies

35:10

the boozy once too much in a day?

35:13

just asking for a friend. Yeah. I like those

35:16

walkers men's pies, which I got

35:18

Glenfiddikan. Glenfiddikan and you

35:20

you heat them up in the oven.

35:22

bit of cream. Although I had fruit salad yesterday, I

35:24

had a a fruit salad feeling quite good

35:26

with myself, but then I because I ruined

35:28

it by putting on thick double

35:31

cream. You know when it's the thick double cream, it's the one that

35:33

literally it doesn't pour. It's the there's

35:35

there's Glenfiddick six luxury Mince

35:38

pies with twelve year old Glenfiddick single malt Scotch whiskey.

35:41

That's my that's my ultimate

35:43

treat. That's my ultimate treat

35:45

because I've checked before Marks and Spencer

35:47

have had mince pies. And the trick is look on the by date. If it's got like

35:49

a week in advance, there's not much booze

35:51

in it. Marks and Spencer goes, oh,

35:53

lashing to branding. I checked

35:56

on your lashing some brandy at all in a little while cobblers.

35:58

But the Glenfiddic ones, you could smell it when you shake

36:00

them out of the box. Have you never

36:02

had them?

36:04

They all send me some at Christmas. Yeah. Not for you.

36:06

They send them for me. Me,

36:08

me, me, me, me. Yeah. I

36:10

do like the boozy ones that

36:12

actually. I mean, personally, it's like eating liqueur chocolates. never gonna drink that

36:15

many liqueur chocolates to get yourself titdled. Are you

36:17

really? I don't think so. But, yeah,

36:19

seven is seven is

36:22

good, Mike. Not for you though, of

36:24

course. Steve says Les and

36:26

Manchester Ford. Did you hear on the LBC

36:28

news yesterday there's gonna be

36:30

a big a shortage of free range

36:32

turkeys due to bird flu, so it's

36:34

frozen bird today. Oh, yes. I mean, there's loads

36:36

of frozen birds. I see them at the

36:38

bus stop. They stand up, really cold.

36:40

Mind you, this weather, we're

36:42

two girls

36:44

walking up. took it in my street this

36:46

morning. There was a group of a little, you know, that sort of four

36:48

or five of them. These girls, I have to tell

36:50

you were off their

36:52

faces. I mean off it, and it certainly

36:54

wasn't booze. whatever they were

36:56

on was really hardcore.

36:58

It was really bad. One of them was

37:00

hugging the bus stop, you

37:02

know, and and and talking

37:04

to it. Now, you know, so I went

37:07

the other side and I was going, oh, shoot, had a

37:09

really bad day. Have you? I can't believe it.

37:11

Just to make it sort of seemed realistic to

37:13

her, you know, depending on what she'd taken, but they were really off their faith. I'm not

37:15

saying like it. Bad bad bad. Should have been home in

37:17

bed. Whether their mummies and daddy's

37:19

probably the same. Leading

37:22

Britain's conversation, LBC, with

37:25

Steve Hallum.

37:28

Morning morning morning nice to have

37:30

a company Steve Allans, early breakfast. And

37:32

we're with you till seven o'clock this morning. Nitro is

37:34

gonna be talking about surprise

37:36

surprise. Shortage

37:38

of turkeys, Well, I did check with shop

37:40

in Twickenham. And he reckons they're not

37:42

gonna have a problem, but get in early.

37:45

So that once you've you've got them ordered

37:47

because they're going to have to start getting them ready, I should imagine, for the

37:50

Christmas period. These are fresh, and these are

37:52

the Norfolk

37:54

Brond's Turkey's. These are, you know, the creme de

37:57

la creme of turquoise. They're not

37:59

cheap. They're over a hundred

38:02

pounds each. Sure. It'll have to tell me how much

38:04

they are exactly, but they're about a hundred

38:06

pounds for a turkey. If not

38:08

more, if not more.

38:10

What do we got now? And oh,

38:12

yes. Jane Moore's column today will

38:14

do Dawn Niesons in a moment. Talks about the

38:16

North Korean dictator Kim

38:18

Jong un That's the one with a

38:20

really Naff haircut. You can't miss him. He's now gone public with his

38:22

hitherto secret daughter, JUE, aged

38:24

around ten. What a shock? says

38:28

he's had sex. I

38:30

know. I should imagine that falling on

38:32

you must be like a double wardrobe with a key

38:34

still in the lock. Must be as bad

38:36

as that. And

38:38

what have we got here? What have we got

38:40

here? Pete Davidson, pictured with his latest

38:42

girlfriend, the model Emily Rachagowski,

38:46

And it's I I don't think Jay knows

38:48

the story behind Pete Davidson. They're

38:50

all highly eligible woman proof if needed

38:52

that you really can laugh people into

38:56

bed. Yes. He has one little trick up his sleeve that

38:58

that people not not so

39:00

little as it happens, but it doesn't matter.

39:03

It doesn't matter. What else we got? Will Smith

39:05

wept on television. He is an actor.

39:08

He is an actor. That's what

39:10

they Yeah.

39:12

And you go. No tears. No tears. Didn't

39:14

have any tears. He gave a groveling

39:16

interview on Monday night as he opened up

39:19

about storming on stage hitting host Chris

39:22

Rock. So, you know, TV

39:24

doctor Ranch seeing the man so desperate

39:26

for publicity. It's almost oozing from

39:28

every poor Every time you see him on

39:30

the television has criticized the British Curry

39:32

Awards for its all white judging

39:34

panel and an alleged racist joke. But

39:36

isn't that racist

39:38

to suggest It's racist saying it's got an all white panel. What what difference does

39:40

it make? Doesn't make any difference. It's

39:42

curry. It's an award ceremony. There's

39:44

lots of lots of people

39:46

who vote for it. It was in

39:48

London on Monday, and he tweeted

39:50

frustration. He said, how is it that the entire

39:52

judging panel

39:54

host and even most of the performers have all been white.

39:56

Why don't I know? Why don't you ask them?

39:58

Ask them why they booked

39:59

these people?

40:02

I think It's

40:03

it's it's James

40:05

Wales gig because he's been doing the British

40:07

Curry Awards for years and years and years. So it might

40:09

be his his program. I've got no idea. He

40:11

said that's why I can't be silent on things that

40:13

really matter. Well then if you

40:15

check the history of Curry, I

40:17

think

40:17

Britain's invented

40:20

Curry powder I'm pretty certain. And the combination of putting all this

40:22

food into one bowl, then it was called a

40:24

curry, because apparently the word isn't used

40:26

frequently in

40:28

India. They don't they don't sort of talk about curry. It's

40:30

more it's more a British thing. I

40:32

think, you know, you go out there. It's like special

40:34

fried rice, love special fried rice.

40:38

you won't find any Chinese people eating special fried rice.

40:40

They just eat rice,

40:42

right

40:43

boiled rice. You know, even

40:46

egg fried rice is sort of

40:48

pushing it a little bit. But, you know, when they do

40:50

special fried rice, that's to

40:52

cater for Western tastes apparently because we like that. And I

40:54

do like that. It's like

40:56

sweet and sour chicken. You go to China

40:58

and Hong Kong, go into a restaurant, a Chinese

41:00

restaurant, go sweet and sour

41:02

chicken. They'll look at you like you're

41:04

mad. It's like if you go to

41:06

Italy, go into a pizza restaurant

41:08

and go I'll have a thin

41:10

and crispy Hawaiian,

41:12

and they'll look at you and go,

41:14

what?

41:15

Hawaiian, you'll be they'll have the police

41:17

there in five minutes. You'll be dragged out screaming

41:19

by what little hair you've got left.

41:21

Sorry. Pineapple on a

41:24

pizza. Are you mad? Have you seen the

41:26

burger pizzas? Oh, no. I don't wanna

41:28

see those. wanna see burger pizzas. They got nice. We got a new

41:30

place opening down here. Have you seen it?

41:32

I don't know what they do. It's a it's a new

41:34

restaurant that's opening next to

41:36

our building. next

41:38

job. It's just down from a little one that went out of business,

41:40

but burger pizzas. I'm not

41:42

sure. Oh, right. Oh, that looks

41:44

quite a a cheeseburger pizza. Oh,

41:47

it's got those horrible pickles on. Oh,

41:50

disgusting. Only Americans like things like that.

41:52

The Brits go get rid of them. Take

41:54

them off. You like them. Oh,

41:56

no. No. I don't do things like that, and that's very

41:58

American. So that's quite nice.

42:00

Domino's now does a

42:02

cheeseburger pizza. I could

42:04

probably that I should imagine. I've never had

42:06

a dominoes. I've never had any of these

42:08

pizzas from these companies except from Pizza Express.

42:11

because I like their dough balls, and I they used to do it. I

42:13

don't know if they still do the Quatro Fumazhi,

42:15

which is four cheeses. And that I could just

42:17

about manage because I didn't think it was going to be

42:19

sully to buy all this peculi stuff they'd put on the top, but no,

42:21

all around the world. You know, so so ranch

42:24

going on about curry, you know, you

42:26

shouldn't make that big mistake

42:28

ranch that you know, it's just

42:30

because of the the curry houses in this

42:32

country that you invented curry because you

42:34

didn't, you know. But it doesn't I mean,

42:36

it doesn't make any difference. You know, you could do any

42:38

sort of food nowadays. some friends of mine

42:40

were, what were they?

42:43

Turkish, but they

42:44

had an Italian restaurant. You find lots of

42:46

things like that. You don't have to come for

42:48

country to cook the food. I just have a friend of mine, White, who listened

42:50

to the Kroger, and he young worked in

42:53

a Chinese takeaway. He cooked in

42:55

a Chinese takeaway. And I

42:58

remember saying, Is it easy? He said, yeah, once you've learned, you

43:00

know, what you're cooking? He said it's the heat. It's

43:02

basically your cooking. Quick. He said that's why I

43:04

got all these sauces in front

43:06

of you. You watch people cooking. In fact, you can do it. You know, if we're

43:08

perhaps coming down to London for a day or

43:10

something, just off less to square, there's a place where you can

43:12

see them cooking on walks in

43:14

the window. and the heat rest

43:16

of it. And it's fast. What

43:18

works? What work? What

43:20

to work? Oh, like a

43:22

play on words, is it? so funny, honestly,

43:25

very funny in that walk to work. But you watch people

43:27

cooking, oh, there it is. Oh, do it

43:29

is. Let's just round the

43:31

corner from here. and then they sort of put

43:33

it in a little box like the Americans have. And it's because you're

43:35

watching somebody doing it. Alright. I'd love to have a go

43:38

at that.

43:40

too. It's takeaway. They said they don't do sit down indoors. Oh,

43:43

how lovely. You see, I mean, it's like,

43:45

if you go to a Chinese restaurant in China and

43:47

go, good knee crispy beef.

43:50

Okay. What? Crispy beef? I

43:52

love it. I love it all, actually.

43:54

Steve, have you seen the BBC comedy

43:58

ghosts written by a group of

43:59

outstanding artists, including

44:01

Simon Farnavi who scripted the Paddington films

44:03

and starred as the Queen of Butler, in

44:05

the Paddington Anniversary sketch.

44:08

says Peter, no, I haven't. I I don't think I've even heard about it. I tell

44:10

you what they showed on the other. It's quite good

44:12

as it produces managed to find it.

44:16

So there it is. Oh, alright. Okay. Ghost. It's

44:18

a CBS original. A young couple

44:20

whose dreams come true and then how to

44:22

beautiful country house only to find its falling

44:25

apart and have by many of the deceased previous residents.

44:27

I like that idea. I like

44:30

that idea. That's quite a good idea,

44:32

isn't it? because when they talk about

44:34

heaven the other day, I don't know why they talk about heaven to

44:36

me. And I was saying it must be very

44:38

crowded up there. And they said, I'm not

44:40

going downstairs. I'm

44:42

so not. the staircase is barred to me. And they said, you know, if you

44:44

go to heaven, I said, but it's gonna be really busy.

44:46

There's gonna be all sorts of people up there, aren't

44:48

there? I'll have to sort of fight to get

44:50

a cloud. But then I thought,

44:52

you know, come on because all these

44:54

people over the years who've been

44:56

there, you know, they're they're all gonna be going, well, I

44:58

saw the cloud

45:00

first, Steve. I'm good again. Listen, I don't really care actually. I've raised a lot of

45:02

money for global to make some noise by

45:04

selling my limited edition radio

45:06

royalty details.

45:08

you know, which we which we want to offer you

45:10

today. My friend Mark,

45:12

my former producer, says

45:14

I discovered walk to walk

45:17

in Amsterdam. What on

45:19

Earth were you doing in Amsterdam? Oh,

45:21

let's say I ask you. I

45:23

ask you Mark, goodness sake.

45:26

I went to Amsterdam

45:28

once. We actually stayed in Rotterdam

45:30

but went to Amsterdam. I do remember it

45:32

very well. We'd only just park

45:34

the car up and some blokes said, you want to buy

45:36

some hash? I said, you've got

45:38

hash browns. I said, how brilliant? I was

45:40

so excited. And, yeah, yeah, weed man. I said, weeds. I

45:42

said, if you come back to my place, I'll show you

45:44

weeds. Go, deer. And

45:46

and it was all sorts of people. And then there's all people

45:48

outside these

45:50

places, which were sort of based in red lights. You know, you

45:52

come in, you come in, you have show,

45:55

sorry, have show, show

45:58

what, Oh,

45:59

no, I

45:59

don't think so. Not to do things like that.

46:02

People on a revolving turntable.

46:04

I said my auntie and it used to be on a

46:06

revolving turntable, but that was at the fanfare. feel very old.

46:08

Very, very strange. Rita Auros single

46:10

handedly held up the hospitality industry

46:12

with her late night

46:14

Boozianetics. Do you know loads of

46:16

publicity, very little action. I'm afraid she was staying in a

46:18

cheap place, twenty two thousand a

46:20

night in a ski rally. They go for much more than

46:22

that. If you're looking for a decent one, you want to be down with

46:24

sort of, you know, the the scuzzy end of it, twenty

46:26

two grand a night. Can you imagine

46:28

spending that much money? There you go. Twenty two

46:30

thousand night. came with a gym pool

46:32

and a full spa with a massage room. Oh, disgusting. Once you've been a birthday

46:34

party with a massage room,

46:37

It's just out of order. What happened to the

46:40

balloons ice cream trifle?

46:43

the You know? Ice

46:45

creamians, ice creams for today, which we're getting after six o'clock. Very

46:47

excited. Very excited. Ice cream and

46:49

jello can't have jelly. It's

46:52

all sugar in it. Yeah, it is all pinging. I mean, I have had

46:54

it before and then tried

46:56

to suffer the consequences, like

46:58

basically falling over or fading

47:01

a bit. I just get light headed. I was trying to

47:03

explain to the producer because

47:06

George Michael's sister died of complications

47:08

with diabetes. And I said to him, you

47:11

watch it. I said, you know, I could get comfy. He's always trying

47:13

to feed me this food. You know, baby food.

47:15

He said, come me. Come me. Come me.

47:17

Here comes the train. Whoo.

47:20

Yeah. Whatever. But no,

47:22

you have to watch what you eat.

47:24

It's as simple as that. And

47:26

I'm doing quite well at the moment actually.

47:28

although I might let myself go for Christmas dinner. Definitely.

47:31

I might be having three Christmas dinners. I think my

47:33

friend Jordan might be looking for someone to eat

47:35

on Saturday afternoon, so we

47:38

might go to Jill Allen's and see they've Christmas off.

47:40

No. Here we go.

47:42

Let's have a look at that.

47:44

Yeah.

47:44

In that bag, Have

47:47

a look. What's in there? What's in

47:50

there? Now what yeah. You can have that. And

47:52

he can have the other one. Unfortunately, I didn't know there were three

47:54

of us today. Do you know what

47:56

that is? It's a snowman. Have you ever seen a

47:58

brown snowman without a white

47:59

chocolate? It's a snowman. They're both the

48:02

same apparently.

48:04

I bought loads yesterday. it Christmas. Yeah.

48:06

Right. Whatever. Yeah. I know.

48:08

We got ice cream today. Vanilla.

48:12

Vanilla. Very

48:13

exciting fact, if you save the chocolate, you could crumble it over the

48:15

ice cream. I mean, it can be

48:17

glasses off then. How

48:19

cool is that? Yeah. So one one

48:22

for tall boy. Lovely. I'm sorry you

48:24

didn't get one, Freddie. You don't

48:26

come. I wasn't informed of your

48:28

impending arrival. consequently, I

48:30

think he was obviously hoping you'd just get one for

48:32

himself. Anyway, I trust you out well this

48:34

morning. It's Steve Allen's early

48:36

breakfast. We are cooking with gas as they

48:38

say. Mainly it's a bit cheaper than

48:40

the

48:42

electric. This

48:43

is LVC

48:48

from global leading Britain's conversation with Steve

48:50

Allen.

48:58

Morning a heavy company. It's Wednesday, November the thirtieth last day of the

49:00

month. Tomorrow is the first of December,

49:01

and then you got twenty five days to get it all

49:04

sorted out. And

49:06

and then Actually, I was reading that

49:08

somebody's text earlier on

49:10

used to work here, actually, as a as a

49:12

producer. And he said in our street, somebody's

49:14

put their Christmas

49:16

lights up. And he said, it's too early. And I thought, no,

49:18

it's not. It's definitely not too

49:20

early. Oh, little shock

49:22

there. Oh, fantastic.

49:24

It worked. I finally rigged

49:26

it properly. But yeah.

49:28

No. He he thought it was too early to put Christmas

49:30

lights up and look you're joking, of course.

49:33

I've got three trees up already. There'll be another one

49:35

going up stuart from Sandy's.

49:38

He says, yes, Copa's Turkey's

49:40

all guaranteed. used

49:42

to work for what? Copa's, don't you?

49:44

Yeah. He says, all guaranteed. Price

49:46

c. Yes. But the best

49:48

always is. And they'll be queuing

49:50

up Heath Road all the way past, Stuart. He sells the

49:52

most turquoise most turkeys of

49:54

anybody more than waitrose, more

49:58

than just more than anybody at all. He's always done that. And people

49:59

support him because he's open, you

50:02

know, early fight, you know,

50:04

cupids, the fruit and veg. He's open from six

50:06

in the

50:08

morning. six in the morning, you know, come six in it. You still get people walking at

50:10

six in the evening going, oh, you're still open. You go, we've

50:12

been there since six in the morning. Come on.

50:14

You know? But Stuart's right.

50:17

They are pricey, but he says the best. Well, if

50:20

you pay for quality, you pay for

50:22

quality, and they come in they come in

50:24

a box. And so you go

50:26

there, you hand your ticket in, then they go to the back, and they select

50:28

your turkey. And and that's how

50:30

it works. He's lovely. He's got his lights up,

50:34

lights outside. Really cool. Really cool.

50:36

And look at these Copas,

50:38

they're very very special

50:40

turkeys. They're bronze turkeys. and

50:44

they are about the best. But I I

50:46

think they're in excess of a hundred pounds of turkey

50:50

in excess And but they look love I've never cooked to Turkey. I mean, I

50:52

because I well, I don't cook.

50:54

I have people what do? You know? Do

50:56

I change the time of my cab? No.

50:59

have people what do. You know, producers threatened

51:02

he's gonna do it. So hopefully, I'll just get a

51:04

text message later going. It's

51:06

changed. It's change. They've done it

51:08

permanently. Well, hopefully, they'll do it

51:10

permanently. That'd be nice. They got I I

51:12

can't see any reason why why they shouldn't because we've

51:14

done it on the program. the producer can always say

51:16

to him, why don't you listen to the program on

51:18

catch up? And and then you'll hear him

51:20

talking about

51:22

it. They've just added the original film, missus goes to Paris with

51:24

Angela Landsbury, playing a cockney on

51:26

Amazon for seven pound forty eight.

51:30

remember you and the producer trying to find it on air weeks ago. It wasn't there. It's

51:32

a great little film says, Kathy. I've got it on DVD.

51:34

Oh, there you go. Can you find missus

51:36

Arris, goes to Paris? on

51:39

Amazon, seven pound forty

51:42

eight, and missus

51:44

Arris goes to Paris. There

51:46

you go. And how much is

51:48

it?

51:49

Oh, it does

51:51

it says it's currently oh, it's a video.

51:53

It says it's currently unavailable. I've

51:56

had a a bit old, isn't it? So could you put

51:58

put in missus Arris goes to

51:59

Paris DVD.

52:01

because sometimes that that finds it as well. We

52:04

like Amazon, actually, like

52:06

shopping I'm pleased that they're going to be paying more more tax next year, mountain blood time.

52:08

And then is it there? Is it there?

52:10

Mrs. Mrs. Mrs. Arias goes to Paris.

52:12

Oh, we've found a Kindle edition.

52:14

Oh, that's the Oh,

52:16

that's the DVD. Seven pound

52:19

forty

52:19

eight. I like Angela Rand's

52:21

brewery. It's got Omega Charib, you

52:23

get four percent off. That's good, isn't

52:25

it? Yeah. So I can order that on my on my telephone. Now I

52:27

know it's there. Don't you go and buy it listening

52:29

at home? I'd only get

52:32

to it. in about fifteen

52:34

minutes time and discovered they've all gone because you bought the

52:36

blasted thing. I've had this before.

52:38

I stupidly mentioned it. I'm not gonna buy it. I

52:40

don't care. you know, that hopefully,

52:42

that will discourage people from buying it. But thank you, Kathy, very much indeed.

52:44

Ghost is great, Steve. They used Barbara

52:48

Gascoins house. Was that Barbara Gas going married

52:50

to Bambagas going, didn't he inherit a

52:52

really big house? I seemed to remember,

52:54

I'd love a house

52:56

like that. I would love

52:58

it. I think that would be really

53:00

good fun. Why don't you still live in

53:02

Yorkshire? Eby

53:04

gum. next to us, there was house the the the who had

53:06

a a material shop

53:08

in Witherancy. In the seaside resort, so

53:10

the house was sort of basically uninhabited.

53:14

about from her in these few rooms. But the place was full of

53:16

material. There's to keep it there, which was

53:19

which was very nice. Shane

53:21

says I was gonna a

53:23

Domino's Pizza last night, but I changed my mind, had

53:25

Kentucky Fried Chicken instead. She said funny. I think

53:28

it's really old. Oh, it's lovely at that house. They go

53:30

bambagas going in that beautiful hat. Look

53:32

at that. I could live there. I could live

53:34

there. Oh, look how much it looks freezing cold,

53:36

isn't it? You can tell it's cold, but he

53:38

inherited a

53:40

duchess's

53:41

manion. And so that's

53:42

where they that's where they filmed it because the the

53:45

house is already there. It's already built. Don't need

53:47

to sort of recreate sets or anything else.

53:49

I'd love that. Be very

53:51

nice. if I won the lottery, that'd be

53:53

nice, wouldn't it? I don't know what I do

53:55

first of all, probably get a chocolate

53:57

reindeer from the producer. a real chocolate

53:59

reindeer, you know, just a reindeer dipped

54:01

in chocolate. It could be quite

54:03

nice. Couldn't it? Steve,

54:06

the CBS version of ghosts is the American

54:08

version. It's based on the British version, which are both

54:10

available on the i player, says

54:12

Peter. It was produced by the same team as

54:14

the children's horrid histories.

54:16

Aha. Dell says just left the

54:18

house Steve, not cold and the birds are chirping. I

54:20

thought it was freezing this morning.

54:22

Absolutely freezing. I walked outside because I had to wait even longer for the

54:24

taxi. But I thought it's really cut my hand.

54:27

I've got to get gloves today. That's my mission.

54:29

Should you choose to accept it,

54:32

Steve? is to get a pair of gloves. I need to go and have a look

54:34

at them. I need to go and have a have a look

54:36

at them. Carlo, my friend has got these shops in

54:40

in Richmond. One of them does gloves. He's got them in the window,

54:42

but they look quite expensive.

54:44

A bit bit expensive for me. I'm

54:46

not sure if I just want a pair of mittens.

54:50

you know, or I want leather gloves.

54:52

Do you think I want leather? I

54:54

don't know. I don't need to look as I've

54:57

got a fetish. going on. You know, I don't want people to start, you

54:59

know, they walk past me on the street and they go avoid. You know, I I

55:01

don't like that idea. I like to think that I'm

55:04

appealing to everybody on

55:06

the program. but wearing

55:08

leather I could I mean, I

55:10

did have a look on

55:12

Amazon, but most of them seem to be coming

55:14

from China and you're not gonna get them

55:16

in before I've just bought a a

55:18

walking Santa Claus who

55:20

dances and

55:22

sings. and it's about seven to ten inches tall and arrived yesterday,

55:24

so I'm very excited about that. I might stick

55:26

some batteries in him later on and get

55:28

him sort of wandering about on the table.

55:31

I like things like that. Anything battery

55:34

operated over the Christmas festive season, I'm

55:36

there actually. Steve, the best

55:38

men's pies. I had were from

55:40

Waitrose. I would buy a box on the way to

55:42

work almost every day. And best of all, they're

55:44

cheaper after boxing day. I

55:46

don't know. I still eat them on

55:48

boxing day. Actually, I've been I've been quite good this year.

55:50

I haven't had some I haven't had men's pies

55:52

for a little while. I go

55:54

through phases. I go through phases where I sort of think, oh, I'll have I'll

55:56

have a mince pie and then I think I'll

55:58

just heat them up. I had those potatoes,

56:00

the

56:02

hasselbacks. the other day with

56:04

with cheese and Hellman's mayonnaise. That

56:06

was that was particularly good. And,

56:09

Rit, you've taken it

56:11

out the wrapping. Oh, fatal. I

56:13

started eating

56:16

the the chocolate snowman. I

56:18

can't believe you started eating it already,

56:21

honestly. What if it happened to, Christmas Eve

56:23

and Christmas day and stuff like that. If I bought a box of crackers

56:25

in, you'd probably pull them. Wouldn't

56:28

you? hopeless, isn't it? I don't know why I

56:30

bought them. I do make small wonder I've lasted in this

56:32

business for forty three years. When I

56:36

say lasted, survived, I think it would be a better description. My good

56:38

friend says said cup Julie

56:40

will be popping by for coffee. Can you recommend

56:42

delicious cake from arts

56:44

and spencers? Well, you know,

56:46

I've always been partial to

56:48

a piece of lemon

56:50

drizzle. Like a lemon drizzle, it's cheap in M

56:52

and S. I mean, it really isn't very expensive, and it's it's nice. It's very, very

56:54

light, so you can't make these things. What do you

56:56

probably can? But, you know, it'd be people listening going, Steve.

56:58

We make cakes and we do all

57:01

these lovely stuff. but I like

57:03

a lemon dressing. We've got a cake shop in Richmond. He's a

57:06

chocolate tier. He's he's very, you

57:08

know, very

57:10

upmarket It's very expensive, but he does a lemon cake lemon

57:12

drizzle, which just like blows

57:14

your blows your socks off. But no,

57:16

I I think delicious cake very

57:20

nice. Wayne, my trolley

57:22

dolly tried to order special fried

57:25

rice in Beijing once. And

57:27

I thought they were going to ask me to leave the restaurant. I

57:29

learned very fast. There's not really any such

57:31

dish outside of the UK. He said, I'm just

57:33

back from Marakesh. not a Christmas

57:36

tree in sight. No.

57:38

But is it I was I was quite right, and Wayne has

57:40

supported that. If you go

57:42

to China, you know, they don't do the western food that we have

57:44

in the Chinese restaurants. You know, you go

57:46

there and you go a crispy beef,

57:48

sweet and

57:50

sour chicken, sweet and sour pork. They look at you

57:52

mad. Absolutely mad. They

57:54

they don't do things like that. You know, if you go

57:56

and ask for

57:58

chicken feet, They'll do your chicken feet and stuff like that, but

57:59

not not all the stuff that we get. It's obviously

58:02

so our our pallets

58:04

don't get done. I'm glad you're back in the

58:06

country, Wayne.

58:08

Nice to have you back. Arrived in sunny Cape Town yesterday, Steve.

58:10

Woke up this morning panic that I

58:12

missed the show and realized I was two

58:16

hours ahead. says Dion,

58:18

the IT guy, Dion.

58:20

Isn't that Dion?

58:23

I know that generally these listens don't

58:25

count towards your numbers, but UK listeners on holiday abroad should still

58:27

count or else I shall protest

58:29

with a cold beer at

58:31

about the q today. But don't mind

58:34

you celebrating with a cold

58:36

beer or a cold bottle of Prasekha. You've

58:38

got a special offer on Marks

58:40

and Spencer's. It's their festive prosecco. It's all the bottles of gold

58:42

covered. I might have to go and buy six bottles

58:44

today, which

58:46

is is I don't do beer.

58:48

I've never drunk beer in my life. No. York

58:50

Oh, they do the Yorkshire pudding beer. I still

58:53

couldn't do it. I just don't derive

58:55

any any pleasure out of drinking beer. It just doesn't taste right to me.

58:57

It's like lager. You know,

59:00

people say if you had a lager recently

59:02

and I went, no and they go, oh, you should have it

59:04

with lime. I go, what,

59:06

lager and lime? And they go, yeah, that's a

59:08

very popular drink. Well, failing that, there was the

59:10

other one. You used to get the bottle of drink.

59:12

And they put a slice of lime

59:14

in it. the top

59:16

and they go, they say, do watercolona,

59:18

and I go, no, I'd

59:20

rather have a lager. And I'm not

59:22

actually drinking, lager. I don't drink beer or anything. I don't do all

59:24

these, you know, posh beers in these shops that you can

59:26

get. I just want something normal, which of

59:29

course, I mean, does not really fit in with

59:31

my lifestyle at all, I'm a shame. But

59:33

there you go, we are

59:36

packing charcuterie boxes with

59:38

my small team, says chris

59:40

from meat box dot com, to sell Court

59:42

Festival Fair this weekend, all produced from

59:44

small British farms. Check out

59:46

meat box dot com. See see what see

59:48

what they do. They're from Christchurch in

59:51

Dorset. So they're packing these charcuterie

59:55

boxes. I'm I'm gonna have to

59:57

show my ignorance, I'm afraid. I've

59:59

got no idea Oh, right. Oh, you do

1:00:02

meats. Look, you can customize your

1:00:04

own fresh meat box.

1:00:06

Oh, there you go. You can recreate a

1:00:08

meat box. How

1:00:10

nice? We've got an idea. Look, they've got

1:00:12

sausages, and they've got Tomahawk's

1:00:14

sake for thirty four

1:00:16

pound fifty. They've got a rib

1:00:18

eye steak producer like that. Oh, that looks nice, isn't

1:00:20

it? Handmade lean beef burgers,

1:00:22

beef rump steak, fill it steaks, yeah,

1:00:24

like fill it steak. I only ever eat fill

1:00:26

it steak. you got a nice lot

1:00:28

of stuff there. So well, now you've told us about the

1:00:30

Hamilton Court Festival Fair this

1:00:32

weekend, then people can make

1:00:34

their way there. I might go actually

1:00:36

on on Sunday. I might go on

1:00:38

Sunday, actually. I shall

1:00:40

seek you out. All produce from small British farms

1:00:42

we're enjoying listening to through the early

1:00:44

shifts this week says, Chris.

1:00:47

Good for you. Have a nice time. You'll love

1:00:49

it. People love Hampton Court. It's cheaper

1:00:51

than most supermarkets. And they've got I think

1:00:53

there's an ice rink. At Ham Is there

1:00:55

an ice rink at Hampton Court? Can you check for me? because the Natural History

1:00:57

Museum does not have an ice rink this year. Normally, they have

1:00:59

the set of

1:01:02

gallopas which look beautiful and the lights in the tree, but there's no ice rink.

1:01:04

Badnessy power

1:01:06

station. Badnessy power

1:01:08

station. Alright. don't

1:01:10

want to go there. I don't fantasy panels. So here

1:01:12

you go. You can go skating in Henry VIII's

1:01:14

historic home while outside of it.

1:01:17

inside would not be good. You can book tickets

1:01:20

and you can go there and you

1:01:22

pick up your skates. They say,

1:01:24

wrap up warm, get together with your friends or

1:01:26

family or take your friends or family and they're

1:01:28

feeling worse. And you can go

1:01:30

gliding around. Yeah. You see, I just

1:01:32

like sort of tying the producers'

1:01:34

legs together. It's an it's an old

1:01:36

ancient trick from us Anglo Saxons and just pushing him onto the ice, you

1:01:38

know. May mainly, we sort of

1:01:40

we sort of set fire to his helmet.

1:01:43

And that's always great fun to watch as he sort

1:01:45

of glides out and they go,

1:01:48

help. It's funny, honestly, I derive great

1:01:50

pleasure out of things like that. as the ice

1:01:52

melts around him and he suddenly realizes it

1:01:54

isn't just an ice drink, it's in fact a

1:01:56

lake that he's skating on,

1:01:58

which is good. Steve

1:01:59

Allen on LBC. Anyway,

1:02:02

so going back and good morning if you have just

1:02:04

joined us. Nice heavy company. It's Steve Allen's

1:02:06

early breakfast on LBC. I've

1:02:08

still got Some

1:02:10

limited edition radio royalty tea

1:02:12

towels. You gotta be quick.

1:02:14

Gotta be quick. They're out now. on

1:02:17

the global, make some noise websites. And go

1:02:19

have a look. Click on the shop. You will

1:02:21

find them. You go down a

1:02:24

little bit. and there's me demonstrating a t

1:02:26

towel. In fact, two would be nice

1:02:28

if you bought

1:02:30

two. And I'm modeling a

1:02:32

tea towel. I'm modeling a tea towel. I

1:02:34

mean, it's only I can.

1:02:36

And it would be nice to to sell

1:02:38

some more today. The money helps us support

1:02:40

a hundred brilliant small charities and local

1:02:42

communities across the UK. Charity is

1:02:44

delivering food banks, mental health programs,

1:02:47

Domestic violence, help lines, care, a support

1:02:50

community projects, and other vital

1:02:52

support programs, and there's not

1:02:54

many left. I will tell you

1:02:56

this now. So if you

1:02:58

choose to purchase, we can guarantee

1:03:00

delivery before Christmas. So

1:03:02

please go and buy some

1:03:04

radio royalty details. They're in limited edition. They're full color. And

1:03:06

we think they're lovely. We think they're

1:03:08

lovely. And all the money, one hundred percent

1:03:11

of the money raised, goes

1:03:13

to global's, make some noise. So check them out, have

1:03:15

a look at them, and then

1:03:18

decide if you want to purchase, but I

1:03:20

would love it if you do. we're

1:03:22

sort of getting to the we're sort of running

1:03:24

out now. So please

1:03:26

buy them. Kevin, the expat says you're right.

1:03:28

Here in Italy, there is no such thing as

1:03:30

spaghetti balanese. Actually, the funny thing is,

1:03:33

I don't know why we should be surprised about

1:03:35

all this. You know, it's it's like

1:03:37

if you go to India, they're

1:03:39

not going to be cooking what you think they're going to be cooking. I've,

1:03:42

you know, I've seen what people cook.

1:03:44

And when we were in Hong Kong, we didn't

1:03:46

when we were in Hong Kong before we even knew

1:03:48

about you know, things

1:03:50

like sweet and sour chicken, sweet and sour pork,

1:03:52

special fried rice, Charles Sousi pork, which

1:03:54

I love. I remember having that years and

1:03:56

years ago, and it's pork on a

1:03:59

a bed of

1:03:59

garlic bean sprouts. My

1:04:02

goodness, mate. I'll tell you. You won't need to

1:04:04

go out

1:04:04

with anybody for the rest of your days. It's

1:04:06

it's as good as that. It's really

1:04:09

really lovely. and crispy duck and all the the

1:04:11

only thing I can't stand in the Chinese

1:04:13

takeaway, chicken and sweet corn soup. I

1:04:15

look at this glutinous

1:04:17

stuff, and I was like, oh, no. But

1:04:20

I doubt you could find that in China

1:04:22

either. So do you have any chicken and sweet corn

1:04:24

soup? No. I love

1:04:26

it. And Sue says I've

1:04:28

just driven through twickenham. Did you

1:04:31

have a passport? And Sandy's Fit

1:04:33

Shop lights are terrific. Aren't they just

1:04:35

Are they just are you guys seeing how

1:04:37

tall street people would appreciate them? They look lovely.

1:04:39

In fact, actually, we seem to have AAA

1:04:41

really good selection of Christmas lights this

1:04:43

year. which I you got anything up at the moment,

1:04:45

Elliot? Anything? As of

1:04:48

tomorrow, I'm right. First of December, I'm

1:04:50

right. I did you help decorate the

1:04:52

family tree Did you sing

1:04:54

Carol's around it? You

1:04:56

know? Good king wenseless.

1:04:58

Oh, you know? Major.

1:05:00

Harkler harald

1:05:02

angels sing. glory to the newborn king. Did you do

1:05:04

that? You're saying things like

1:05:06

that? You're a family quality.

1:05:08

It's so lovely. They all they didn't judge but like

1:05:10

the vomtraps.

1:05:12

They're far, far away from us, the further,

1:05:14

the better. As far as I'm concerned,

1:05:17

a Turnvise. Turnvise.

1:05:22

I think it should be like that. I think Christmas

1:05:25

is for children, you

1:05:27

know.

1:05:27

And

1:05:28

I just think

1:05:30

It

1:05:30

is for children. And good

1:05:33

morning

1:05:33

says my friend, Chris. He

1:05:36

says, will

1:05:38

you accept cash for six tea towels this

1:05:40

morning, plus a ten o'clock when I swing

1:05:42

by Leicester Square circa six

1:05:44

AM. I I they're

1:05:46

not here. They're

1:05:48

not here. He's coming to steal our ice cream. They're not

1:05:50

here, but met which we sorted out next

1:05:52

week, Chris? Do that next week. that

1:05:55

next week Is it I can I make that

1:05:57

a date for you? Cash for

1:05:59

six

1:05:59

details. That's me. That's how

1:06:01

it can under by

1:06:03

these underground businesses. We got a minute. Got

1:06:05

a minute for your pal, sorting that for me. No. We don't have them in the building. They said

1:06:08

they'd problem. So will you

1:06:10

will you wait till

1:06:12

next week? and I'll let you

1:06:14

know when. I'll sort it all out for you. The producer will source them and

1:06:16

will arrange to get them to you. Okay?

1:06:20

Just this morning, six o'clock is when the ice cream turns up. You know, and

1:06:22

we don't we don't want to sort of miss out. It's

1:06:24

Vanilla this morning, Vanilla ice cream.

1:06:28

Save, you can't beat a nice warm pair of

1:06:30

gloves on a chilly day. Get yourself a lovely pair of

1:06:32

dents. String back gloves.

1:06:34

Other gloves are available. They're

1:06:36

so blooming comfortable. So warm and so

1:06:38

great. Says, Ashimarga,

1:06:40

I've never even heard of them. Dense.

1:06:42

Let's have a look. Dense.

1:06:46

And we've seen the price of them.

1:06:48

Hundred and sixty pounds for a period. I

1:06:50

couldn't spend hundred and sixty pounds. But

1:06:55

I don't need the tea towels, says my friend,

1:06:57

Chris, but I need to drop the cash off today as

1:06:59

carrying money makes me nervous.

1:07:02

Okay. Well, I'll tell you what, if if you are

1:07:04

swinging by, at

1:07:06

six. Then if

1:07:08

you if you wanna give it to the we'll we'll tell reception.

1:07:10

You're you're popping in And

1:07:12

if you give us some money, then we will sort out the tea towel. The producer will then sort out

1:07:15

the tea. He's such a busy boy. Such a

1:07:17

busy boy. Thank you. Six

1:07:20

tea towels. It's good in it.

1:07:22

Can you manage that? Can we do

1:07:24

that? Yeah. Just just tell tell

1:07:26

reception that there's money coming in

1:07:28

from mister

1:07:30

Chris and and there was it's

1:07:32

like being a family. You know, it's just like unbelievable.

1:07:34

Where can you have this much fun?

1:07:37

you know, and get a pension, and get the winter

1:07:39

warming fund. I mean, it was unbelievable. And my

1:07:41

friend Chris buys tea towels as well. Thank

1:07:44

you very much indeed. Thank you very much. Always

1:07:46

very grateful. As you know, he

1:07:48

says, I think I saw your ice cream

1:07:50

man last week. Does he wear a

1:07:52

madonna mic and a

1:07:54

baseball cap. I told them.

1:07:56

I see him normally actually. He he he

1:07:58

has a van that you wouldn't miss Chris.

1:08:00

It's sort of and you're not having them. You're not

1:08:02

having ice creams as well. Tony, for

1:08:04

us, we get very protective about our

1:08:06

vanilla ice creams today.

1:08:08

But if you're here at six, you'll

1:08:10

probably see cream,

1:08:12

Iain. Ice cream. We might

1:08:14

have to start sharing it with my friend, Chris. But no,

1:08:16

we're not sharing it. The producers

1:08:18

got no, no, we can't do

1:08:20

that. And somebody says, this is Michelle the coffee

1:08:22

lady. I'm going to buy some of your details to my craft service

1:08:24

truck. We're the ones up so

1:08:26

early every day to feed film

1:08:29

through. So I always listen to my way

1:08:32

to work. Currently doing the journey Windsor to East London, only two more weeks to

1:08:34

go. Oh, get a tea towel. We are on the on the last

1:08:36

leg. of

1:08:39

the tea towels. We're now down to don't have a

1:08:42

huge amount left. Don't have a

1:08:44

huge amount left. So go and check

1:08:46

them out on global to make some noise

1:08:48

website. go to

1:08:50

the website. Click on the shop. You'll find them. You just go down and there's a nice picture of me wearing a crime

1:08:56

and a crying.

1:08:58

A crying. I'm wearing a crying on my head and very nice they are too. And limited edition. I said

1:09:00

they were limited edition the other week,

1:09:02

I didn't realize how limited they were actually.

1:09:07

Micky says, I hope all is good. If you're looking for a singing

1:09:09

Santa, long eight because garden center in

1:09:11

Bagshot, it's usually fantastic.

1:09:13

Yes, I've been there before. In that before, Tony says you're

1:09:15

a superstar. I was too until I retired. He

1:09:18

says talking about food and I've been

1:09:19

grilled kippur,

1:09:23

ukimosig. Grilled kippur. He says, with butter and

1:09:25

vinegar and breakfast, I can't eat kippers. I can't eat stuff like that.

1:09:27

It makes me

1:09:30

feel quite ill actually. Anna says, you have to pre tickets for the

1:09:32

Hampton Court Fair. Most of the slots have

1:09:34

gone. Yeah. I think you're fine. I I don't

1:09:36

have to book a slot. I think you're fine.

1:09:39

I can get in quite easily. to

1:09:41

have a decline over a fence, but

1:09:43

okay. says to well. Mitten's a better

1:09:46

says Lewis, your fingers can

1:09:48

cuddle.

1:09:51

I don't do a lot of cuddling. I do a little bit of

1:09:53

cuddling. I don't do a huge amount of cuddling. I do

1:09:55

a little bit a little

1:09:58

bit, but to Normally, normally, I'd get a cuddle

1:10:00

in the morning, but I didn't get one

1:10:02

this morning. But the but the Reducer got a

1:10:04

cuddle because otherwise, we we have tears and

1:10:06

tantrums and all the rest of it. Yeah.

1:10:08

Right. Alright. I understand that. Yeah. I'm gonna I'm gonna

1:10:10

phone your mother up actually. And I'm gonna tell her that

1:10:12

you really want to sing

1:10:14

carols around the Christmas tree. You

1:10:18

know?

1:10:18

because and then

1:10:19

I could come along and

1:10:21

I could do the deskamps.

1:10:23

In the deskamps, At the desk

1:10:25

count, yes. So when you do hark the herald angels sing, you do hark the herald angels sing,

1:10:27

and glory to

1:10:31

the newborn king, Pison Earth and

1:10:33

Mercy Myle Gardens Inn as reconciled. If you do the discount, you

1:10:35

go what about enough of

1:10:37

gold which part of the discount

1:10:40

comes in. But

1:10:42

you're basically doing the the sort of

1:10:44

Soprano bit. Hail the heaven

1:10:46

born prince half p. He's

1:10:48

hailed the son of righteousness. light

1:10:50

and light to all he brainings written with

1:10:53

healing in his wings. Mild

1:10:55

he laid his glory by

1:10:57

born that man, no

1:10:59

more made up. It is song to praise. Welcome along. We

1:11:01

have a quick prayer in a moment. We pray we sell some more details. But yeah, I used to When I

1:11:04

was in the brass band,

1:11:06

I did all the decant, but

1:11:08

and there's a number of of Carols, you do the

1:11:10

discount, and it sounds great. If ever you hear Carols from kings or queens, makes no difference, but not

1:11:13

fancy. And and you get

1:11:15

all the discount bits, and

1:11:18

you can't wait to see these little

1:11:20

choristas hitting the high notes. I absolutely I

1:11:22

love it. I'm I'm quite a big fan mainly

1:11:24

because I grew up doing that kind of

1:11:26

stuff. So it's something and also I'm amazed. I remember the words. I

1:11:29

haven't sung them since I was about nine

1:11:31

years old. I think you've finally

1:11:33

still got it. still still got it there, you

1:11:35

know. I could be leading Carols from kings

1:11:37

or from Windsor Castle or from just about

1:11:39

anybody. I can't say I mean, I

1:11:41

always love it. know, when you see a whole group of

1:11:43

people singing Christmas Carols, I think it's absolutely

1:11:46

amazing. I was watching the other day

1:11:48

last night at the proms. and

1:11:50

they had a baritone singing on there, and they brought on the England GB

1:11:52

winners at the Olympics and

1:11:54

all the rest of it. And

1:11:58

I don't think they they could actually believe how big his

1:12:00

voice was. And I was also amazed at how

1:12:02

many of our GB winners who got their

1:12:04

medals in Olympics, didn't know the words to

1:12:09

whenbury.

1:12:10

Mhmm.

1:12:12

You

1:12:15

know that? Yeah. Germane. Yeah. Lovely. A lot of things

1:12:17

like that. Wanna bring Britain's longest serving

1:12:19

lollipop ladies, Joyce

1:12:22

Shaughnessy, has put down her stick. She's eighty, not

1:12:24

so brandished. Eighty years old, she was probably

1:12:26

clinging onto it for grim death. She's

1:12:29

known as missus Lollipop. I never think

1:12:31

that's a good name, you know. Hello, missus Lollipop. That's

1:12:33

what the kids, and then she stands in the middle of

1:12:35

a road. Nordic in here is a squealer break.

1:12:37

You know, those people go, just miss that kitty. Didn't we? But she's gonna

1:12:39

get to a plaque flowers in a card for long service. The council

1:12:41

said she's been an inspiration

1:12:43

to us all. She's

1:12:47

a lollipop lady get over yourself. She stands in the

1:12:49

middle of stop. Don't you put

1:12:52

don't you go

1:12:54

any further? wait till the kiddies across the road. I love

1:12:56

lollipop ladies. They started axing

1:12:58

them. Do you remember? Steve

1:13:01

hallow on LVC. text 84850

1:13:04

Morning. Twenty six minutes to six. What's

1:13:06

going on today? Isn't it really? Steve Kingston

1:13:08

of Hong Timbs has got his own

1:13:11

lollipop man. says bus driver Danny says I don't know if it's something more common now,

1:13:13

but I only know of one in the Kingston pond,

1:13:15

Tim's area. And he seems

1:13:17

to have a really stretchy arm as he directs

1:13:20

the traffic on both

1:13:22

sides. Chris in Brighton,

1:13:24

stitches now living in Port Smith,

1:13:26

always here at force, has just ordered

1:13:28

my Tiao. Thank you. Going

1:13:30

fast. Going fast. And Harry Potter fans have

1:13:34

spent a billion hours

1:13:37

listening to audio versions of the books. Isn't it funny?

1:13:39

Jim dale, the carry on star, reads

1:13:43

the US version. It's

1:13:46

extraordinary. Stephen Fry writes the seven UK

1:13:48

editions, but he he's really good.

1:13:50

Although I like Jim Daehl very much, so

1:13:52

he's in all the original carry on, carry

1:13:54

on doctor, carry on nurse, he did everything. Very,

1:13:56

very good indeed. And two gold

1:13:59

bars from the

1:13:59

famous. Now you might

1:14:01

not remember this, but

1:14:03

most of us will. from the

1:14:05

cliffhanger climax to the Italian job have sold for three thousand

1:14:07

six hundred pounds, more than two hundred

1:14:09

and fifty bars made

1:14:12

of steel and sprayed

1:14:14

gold were in the nineteen sixty nine classic with Michael Kain, and it was in there. They had them in the back of

1:14:17

this thing

1:14:20

with rocking, slowly backwards ofwards over the edge

1:14:22

of the cliff, and it would because it had the gold bars in it. And that's what it was. They were given to

1:14:25

one of

1:14:28

the producers To his old school metalwork department, most

1:14:30

were melted down, but these two were kept by a retired teacher. They reckon

1:14:32

that they've sold already

1:14:34

three thousand six hundred pounds.

1:14:37

told you this movie memorabilia is fantastic.

1:14:39

The auctioneer says we had telephone and online

1:14:42

bidding because the Italian

1:14:44

job is

1:14:46

is an iconic movie. So they went eventually, three thousand six hundred, but then they've got fees,

1:14:48

four thousand six

1:14:51

hundred and eighty. That

1:14:54

amazing. I quite like the film.

1:14:56

I liked it, mainly because

1:14:58

everybody had minis. Everybody had

1:15:00

many, many cars. and they were

1:15:03

driving them through. I wonder really how much

1:15:05

the people of Rome knew they were filming because

1:15:07

they went all over the play. But I

1:15:09

do, but I don't know. They they would

1:15:11

seen cars whizzing about one over the place, but I I bet the pleat

1:15:13

exactly been to Rome driving. What

1:15:15

a nightmare? What

1:15:18

a nightmare? gold deer, and they were going in and out. And I

1:15:20

wonder really whether they I liked it when they went up

1:15:22

the outside of that building. It was huge. And it went

1:15:24

up, up, up, up, up, up, and

1:15:26

then they turned around, down, down. I thought

1:15:28

there would be a ice haven mini, a

1:15:30

little chocolate brown mini, a little chocolate brown mini, 0LR2

1:15:35

ninety nine w. That's what the number plate was.

1:15:38

And I I'm feeling it's not it's not available anymore. I think it's I think it's been

1:15:40

I think it's been taken

1:15:42

out of commission. Helen, in thirteen

1:15:46

in Norfolk Mooring. One more soul, Steve. Love you in the show. Thank you very much indeed. We're very grateful.

1:15:52

Very grateful. And in fact, because we're

1:15:54

sort of we're we're we're moving into the final stages

1:15:56

of the of the tea

1:15:58

towel. So grab them quick Not

1:16:01

sure about beloved Bambi. I can I remember the film. Didn't Bambi's mother, so I'm gonna ruin

1:16:03

it for Didn't Bambi's

1:16:08

mother die? in the early

1:16:10

in the early part of the movie. apparently, is be as vicious machine a horror

1:16:16

horror movie. A movie company hit

1:16:18

on the idea following the success of its trailers for a bloodthirsty retailing. Oh, they're the ones who did

1:16:23

winnie the poo. Same people, they did

1:16:25

win you the poo, a slasher movie. We knew the poo. I ask

1:16:27

you. It's gonna be

1:16:30

called bambi, the reckoning. Oh,

1:16:34

the original film came out in nineteen forty two with skunk

1:16:38

flower. after

1:16:41

seeing

1:16:41

him to shoot the mother, oh, I

1:16:43

don't know. Not very nice. Is it? Apparently directed by Reese,

1:16:45

Frank Waterfield, and stars

1:16:48

Craig David, and

1:16:51

Craig David Dowsett as poo whilst

1:16:53

Chris Cordell plays piglet. I don't think you can

1:16:55

do that. I don't I don't

1:16:57

think that's right. can't have somebody

1:16:59

playing piglet. You just get piglet back. You

1:17:01

just bring him back in again and piglet.

1:17:03

You're back working. Oh, thank

1:17:05

you, poo. You know, that's what it is. I

1:17:08

don't know anything else like that. King

1:17:10

invites Duchess of York to Christmas dinner

1:17:12

and back into the fold. I don't

1:17:14

think so. I don't think so. I think she might be invited

1:17:16

for Christmas, but I think that's

1:17:18

about as far as it goes

1:17:21

because everybody hates Andrew. And I think he's only

1:17:23

been invited because he's Charles' brother. But, I mean, basically,

1:17:25

Charles has taken everything away from him. Everything

1:17:27

that the mother did,

1:17:30

Charles has endorsed and and then Sarah Ferguson.

1:17:32

She says I've lived every girl's

1:17:34

dream a princess. The trouble is

1:17:37

you're not a princess. your behavior

1:17:39

inside the royal family was nothing short

1:17:41

of disgraceful. You know, the toe sucking

1:17:43

apparently was a a some act or

1:17:45

something that they were doing just

1:17:47

looks slightly peculiar. but and then trying

1:17:49

to sell Andrew to a newspaper, you know, in the biggest sting that they'd ever seen.

1:17:51

You don't exactly have

1:17:55

great form. And she she she talks

1:17:57

about Diana. She and I were the only

1:17:59

two who really understood what

1:18:01

it was like in the eighties. You see,

1:18:03

you can say anything you like because Diana's not here. So you're never

1:18:05

sure what what really to believe. Not

1:18:07

really sure. But,

1:18:10

you know, and Sarah Ferguson, you know, oh, a man.

1:18:12

And you go, I don't think so, dear. I don't

1:18:14

think so. Very sweet if

1:18:15

you'd make a contribution. Great

1:18:17

show, as ever

1:18:19

says, Ian, Coldchester. purchased

1:18:22

a tea tail maybe next year with

1:18:24

the LBC naked calendar. Yeah. Think about it. Think about it.

1:18:26

It could be. You never know actually, especially for Christmas.

1:18:30

I'm gonna be Christmas, I'm gonna because -- Yeah.

1:18:33

-- you're doing the

1:18:35

naked calendar. Yeah. Because I

1:18:37

was just thinking maybe Holly, maybe

1:18:39

not such a good idea. below

1:18:41

and because we thought, you know, you could stand behind

1:18:43

a bush of Holly, and we could be naked in the studio. I

1:18:45

know Elliott will be up for it, but basically,

1:18:47

I mean, he just does

1:18:50

it waiting for the bus? So it's gonna make any difference

1:18:52

whether there's a Sunday afternoon for you,

1:18:55

isn't it? Sunday afternoon for

1:18:57

you. Steve, are you going to the

1:18:59

Bristol All on Friday for the only Fulton holds his collectibles. No. We mentioned it on

1:19:01

the program. So we were we were sort of

1:19:03

up to speed on

1:19:06

that. And Lewis says, did you know that the minis

1:19:08

were left behind in Turin in a lockup? Nobody

1:19:10

knows what happened to them. There were nine in

1:19:12

total. There were only three survived and were

1:19:14

left behind. Imagine what they're worth. Can you

1:19:17

imagine?

1:19:17

Can you imagine? That would be can

1:19:18

you imagine owning a garage door after

1:19:20

all these

1:19:22

years and somebody goes had left

1:19:25

some old rotting cars in there. Can you imagine that

1:19:27

would be so exciting? So exciting. Harry

1:19:31

Potter fans have slammed Warner Brothers for

1:19:33

charging two hundred and sixty

1:19:36

pounds per person to

1:19:38

dine in Hogwarts Great Hall. but

1:19:40

complaints from the fans go, oh, it's only for wealthy fans.

1:19:42

Yeah. Two hundred sick if you wanna go, that's what it costs. You

1:19:44

can step into the scenes and live

1:19:47

like wizards for the night. One

1:19:50

fan said it would be amazing, but five hundred

1:19:52

quid for two people. No dear. Two hundred

1:19:54

and sixty pound per person is five

1:19:57

hundred and twenty pounds. Okay. Marvel get it

1:19:59

right. And somebody says in the present situation, I think not. It's

1:20:01

a sellout event. It doesn't make

1:20:03

any difference what

1:20:05

these people say. It's it's a sellout

1:20:08

event. And there's two hundred tickets per night. I

1:20:10

think they're doing three nights. So if you don't

1:20:12

wanna go to it, you think it's too

1:20:14

expensive. Don't go to it. It's as simple as that. They're they're not they're not twisting

1:20:16

your arm to to have, you

1:20:18

know, to spend two hundred and

1:20:21

sixty pounds. We discover that Golden Ramsay was charging.

1:20:24

Was it for Christmas or was it a

1:20:26

new year? I can't remember. New year seven

1:20:28

hundred quid. Seven hundred and

1:20:30

fifty. I have two bigger pounds. Seven hundred and

1:20:32

fifty pounds. And to be honest with you, I'd rather

1:20:34

go pay two hundred and sixty for Harry Potter. Definitely.

1:20:37

Will Smith admitting that he bottled rage before slapping Chris Rock

1:20:39

at the Oscars. Big

1:20:44

mistake. big big mistake. Nobodyholder's

1:20:46

wife says he wakes her up on December the twenty

1:20:48

fifth by yelling

1:20:51

his catchphrase. It's Christmas. because

1:20:55

he doesn't he's not with SLADE anymore. He's he's

1:20:57

a radio presenter. And it

1:20:59

says here, nobody holders'

1:21:01

wife, is a loose women producer. Did

1:21:04

you know that? I didn't

1:21:06

know that. And she says

1:21:08

Christmas at due Noddie Holder has its moments.

1:21:10

And yes, he does wake me up by bellowing, can you guess? If you think it's loud on the record, you've got no idea.

1:21:12

I think he makes a fortune just

1:21:14

out of the the rights on that

1:21:19

on that one one song does very well

1:21:21

indeed. Stormy is hinted

1:21:23

that Mayor JAMA didn't

1:21:25

spy the breakup song bad

1:21:27

blood. I'm so bored with reading about people's relationships. Who cares? Who

1:21:30

cares whether they're they're in

1:21:32

relationships or they're

1:21:34

not in We were the five years old or something.

1:21:36

It's absolutely ridiculous. See, we

1:21:38

had a lottie pop man

1:21:40

when I was at school from

1:21:42

the mid fifties called mister Wells. says

1:21:44

Jennifer and Saint Margaret's who had a bright red face and used

1:21:46

to dress up his father Christmas and deliver presents, and we never

1:21:51

knew It was him until I was a lot older. Yeah. They got to

1:21:53

have a real beard. The the father

1:21:55

Christmas is now. I've got to

1:21:57

have real beards. There's no no messing about with

1:21:59

addressing up. There's so many people who've got big white

1:21:59

beards actually. Gary the chef

1:22:02

says Steve, the building in

1:22:04

the Italian job, was

1:22:06

the Fiat car company. Was

1:22:08

it? Oh, that would explain actually.

1:22:10

That would explain. Good morning. Steve just bought three tea towels from a silent listener in Birmingham.

1:22:12

Keep up the good work. Thank

1:22:14

you. There wasn't Rome. It was Churin.

1:22:18

the Italian job. Did you know that? You know it was Turin? I didn't

1:22:20

know. I just knew it was foreign. I just

1:22:23

I didn't know where it

1:22:25

was. Thank you, Jason. whose air port

1:22:28

sorry, airfield transport officer

1:22:30

is there a post

1:22:32

title. And Steve says Richard and Julian

1:22:34

Orpington have just ordered my tea towel. Thank

1:22:36

you. as we

1:22:36

get down to the last few. So

1:22:38

thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Don Nason's column

1:22:41

today, we shall come around

1:22:43

to in a moment. and

1:22:46

Vladimir Putin has filed rumors. He's got Parkinson's disease. They keep selling. He's he's got cancer.

1:22:48

He's got Parkinson's. He's

1:22:50

got Tourette's. He's got everything.

1:22:54

He was seen twitching as he met Kazakhstan's

1:22:57

president Putin who looked puff at

1:22:59

January seventy. I think he looks

1:23:01

great for seventy. I don't like him.

1:23:03

then I don't have to like it. Yeah. They they they keep

1:23:05

saying that he's he's had plastic

1:23:07

surgery and stuff like

1:23:09

that. Maybe you've had a little nook in a tuck

1:23:12

avenue everywhere I've noticed. Yeah. When I

1:23:14

first met my producer, it's called Barrel.

1:23:16

And now he's changed. But tell

1:23:18

you, I've accepted it. I'm not bothered. A

1:23:20

new leak from within the Russian Security Services suggested its health

1:23:22

is rapidly failing. For that, you I mean, it could be rubbish, it

1:23:26

could be not, but you don't know. there's all sorts of stuff that's put out.

1:23:28

But also we got just

1:23:30

stop reality's latest wheeze says

1:23:35

door newsome. is to alienate just about everybody walking slowly down some of the

1:23:37

busiest streets in London. This coincides with the

1:23:39

latest round of train and

1:23:41

tube strikes, but have

1:23:44

no fear. because the Metropolitan Police have

1:23:46

come out fighting vowing to act swiftly and firmly, which basically

1:23:48

means they pop the kettle on and

1:23:50

stocked up on vegan friendly oat milk.

1:23:54

Thank you. And she talks about

1:23:56

huge congratulations to the jungles,

1:23:58

Jill Scott, a genuine inspiration

1:24:02

who remained humble, charming, funny, honest,

1:24:04

and down to earth, none of which could

1:24:06

be said about Matt Hancock. A man who went

1:24:08

into the jungle to become a celebrity and

1:24:10

shock We didn't get him out to there until the final. I have

1:24:13

no idea. Right? Storm Nissan, whether

1:24:15

he deliberately recreated the

1:24:18

grouping video, nasty that he got sacked when he was evicted,

1:24:20

but touching your mistress up live on

1:24:22

TELI is just grim. Why can't

1:24:25

you just hug normally? you know, she said,

1:24:27

I just hope his poor kids weren't watching. I

1:24:29

know. And I think worse is that, oh, goodness.

1:24:31

All the touchy feeling. Oh,

1:24:33

goodness. So you can honestly. Also, this time

1:24:36

of year, every woman starts the

1:24:38

fantasy of how they're gonna waft

1:24:40

through December looking

1:24:42

glamorous, Donna de Erica is a baywatch babe, and

1:24:44

she's wearing a bra that doesn't fit. But that's

1:24:46

how an idea of it because her boobies are

1:24:48

falling out. That's

1:24:50

what people seem like. and

1:24:52

she this week showed on Instagram how every

1:24:54

man hopes their woman will look on Christmas day. The

1:24:56

reality is that most of us who slumped

1:24:58

on the sofa in a comfy track

1:25:01

suit with frazzled hair and smudged makeup, faced down

1:25:03

into top of quality street with a pint of red wine. That's how it works. Less stocking

1:25:06

thriller, more stocking chiller. How

1:25:11

it goes? How it goes? People, you know, you can

1:25:13

tell these sort of people. Steve, hello.

1:25:15

On LVC, text 84850

1:25:20

Podding, Tracy, on Shepard says

1:25:22

it's very gold on Shepard. She says I bought a tea towel, but that's not gonna help, is it? Then I'm gonna

1:25:24

get warm with

1:25:27

the t towel. need an electric

1:25:29

blanket. They were doing electric blankets on the television the other day, surprisingly. And I nearly phoned up and

1:25:31

bought two. They

1:25:36

were selling thirty five pound each, and they were sort of really

1:25:38

good ones where you could put them on the bed or under the bed or whatever you want or wrap it around yourself.

1:25:40

And then I saw a a thing that

1:25:42

was advertised on my phone to get these

1:25:44

adverts. and

1:25:46

I bought a thing that's gonna light up

1:25:48

the ceiling of my car. You plug

1:25:50

it into the cigarette lighter and it does

1:25:52

a star constellation thing, all of

1:25:54

the sinus moves. And and this one was a which which

1:25:59

he didn't heated up and you charged it up

1:26:01

on the internet, then you put it around your neck, and it was only about

1:26:03

twenty five quid.

1:26:04

And I remember thinking,

1:26:07

that's a nice idea. a heated

1:26:09

they go. Heated scarves. There they are. Oh, look. Look, they did the difference there.

1:26:11

On Amazon, five ninety nine or fourteen

1:26:14

ninety nine. They've got another

1:26:16

re they're all

1:26:18

rechargeable. Well, they do it in Robert Dyer's as well. He well, they do them all over the place.

1:26:20

But I thought what a good

1:26:22

idea because it keeps your neck warm.

1:26:27

And I thought I might gonna

1:26:27

have to and investigate that actually. I quite

1:26:29

like that. But if I'm gonna

1:26:31

look silly people to

1:26:33

get up. See, what are you wearing? gonna go Are

1:26:35

you wearing one of those heated scarves? Are you gonna go

1:26:38

Yeah. I

1:26:38

think it's okay. Radio veteran

1:26:41

James Whaler's just

1:26:43

months to live He's revealed at the British Curry

1:26:45

Awards on Monday night. He said that he has terminal cancer.

1:26:47

He says, I know a lot of you won't

1:26:49

like me, but this time next year, I won't

1:26:52

be here. I've

1:26:54

got terminal cancer. He's been having cancer his lungs.

1:26:56

He said chemo makes it hard

1:26:58

for me to breathe, but I'm okay.

1:27:03

I'm in my seventies now, and I just wanna say, don't

1:27:05

waste your time on stupid things that don't matter.

1:27:07

People might go, OE is

1:27:09

a bit controversial. I just want people to live together and

1:27:12

stop being so stupid because when

1:27:14

you get to seventy, you know,

1:27:16

some will

1:27:18

look back differently. I think it actually he was first diagnosed

1:27:20

back in two thousand. And then

1:27:22

in twenty twenty, it emerged that

1:27:24

it

1:27:24

had spreads. But he's been very

1:27:26

pragmatic about it. He's been very

1:27:28

you know, as honest as you can be.

1:27:30

He's had the chemo. It doesn't it doesn't it doesn't look good at all for him,

1:27:32

but he's seventy one as he said

1:27:35

he's had a great life. That's

1:27:38

all you can hope for, isn't it? You've had a good life. You've

1:27:40

entertained a lot of people. You know, you've

1:27:42

raised a lot of money for charity,

1:27:45

and and you've had a you've had a good

1:27:47

time. I remember when he was ill

1:27:47

first time and I don't think he worked for ages and money

1:27:50

started getting diff difficult.

1:27:52

Steve, I listen pretty much every

1:27:54

day due to being a truck

1:27:56

driver. This show is

1:27:58

much better than the

1:27:59

usual rubbish songs on other channels.

1:28:02

Other

1:28:02

channels? What what would they be?

1:28:05

but he says, I've got to say that I don't like Christmas. He

1:28:07

says, a new sing in those carrols. They're going

1:28:09

right in my

1:28:10

head now. Thank you for that.

1:28:14

say, you'll be singing them to yourself. You'll be

1:28:16

you'll be going out, they're going hark,

1:28:18

the herald angels sing, glory to the

1:28:21

newborn king, piece on it. because I was saying the other

1:28:23

day, young people don't like carols anymore. I thought, well, you're

1:28:25

looking at the eighteen to twenty nine year olds. Of course,

1:28:27

they don't. Kids, little

1:28:29

children, sing them in schools, and they love it.

1:28:31

and they know all the words and I love it. And I don't care if people don't like

1:28:34

it. That's not my business. My business is to

1:28:36

spell, spread

1:28:38

goodwill and bother me. know, us everyone. You

1:28:40

know? I think it's quite nice. Lewis says the

1:28:42

bit in the Italian job where the minis jumped

1:28:44

the gap in the roof was a one off and

1:28:46

the stunt drivers could only guess the outcome.

1:28:49

Also, the bit where the cars go down

1:28:52

the tunnels was filmed in a sewage system in the UK.

1:28:54

Incidentally, they wrote off a mini try to complete a complete

1:28:56

loop. Apparently,

1:28:58

the number plates in the original cars

1:29:00

were sold by the DBLA. It's good ideas.

1:29:02

I

1:29:02

can't remember what the number plates were.

1:29:04

But so it's sold by the DVLA. They they always do those sort of

1:29:06

things. Don't know. They so if they've got a a personal number play, you can

1:29:09

always go on to the DVLA website, put in a

1:29:11

number you want to buy, and

1:29:15

then see if A, the number exists or B, you know,

1:29:17

you can afford to buy it. I used

1:29:19

to buy Irish numbers because

1:29:21

it would have something like RIL double 752

1:29:23

and found out was the one of my car number plates.

1:29:25

So

1:29:25

nobody could tell the age of your car,

1:29:27

which they could before.

1:29:29

People used to say, you know, you can tell what the I can tell

1:29:31

it's an nineteen eighty car or this. So everybody's

1:29:34

got personal number plates, you know, they

1:29:36

became very popular, very

1:29:38

popular, certain number. Some are cheap.

1:29:40

some are expensive. I bought them in the

1:29:42

past at, you know, eighty or ninety quid. But then I think there's another charge

1:29:44

about another sixty,

1:29:47

seventy quid to transfer. onto a

1:29:49

car, you can do things like that. Oh, I've still got I mean, you've still

1:29:51

got some more money at home. I haven't paid into the bank. Oh, honestly, look

1:29:53

at me being all silly because

1:29:55

I sold a car And

1:29:58

I got the money through from the

1:30:00

DVA the other day. Hundred

1:30:01

and fifty pounds. Could you get it back on

1:30:03

the tax desk? because the tax disc

1:30:05

is not transferable. So I've got a hundred and fifty quick extra. What I've done with it? I've got no

1:30:07

idea. Honestly, this money, just it's all over

1:30:10

the blumen place at the home. There must

1:30:12

be Let's

1:30:14

be a Christmas tree somewhere, which has got

1:30:16

to got my money. Nick in Berges

1:30:18

Hill says it's been saving all year to

1:30:21

go to Australia at Christmas. to see the wife's

1:30:23

family not been for a few years due to COVID,

1:30:25

but it broke my arm on Friday in a

1:30:27

temporary cast and waiting for an operation

1:30:29

to have pins put in it. dear. He says,

1:30:31

looks like I might miss the flight due to the operation,

1:30:33

be spending on my own with help and my good friends.

1:30:35

Obviously, the wife's still going. Of course, she's not

1:30:37

missing out on that. She can't wait to get

1:30:39

out the door. talk about bad timing.

1:30:42

So I shall tune in Christmas morning. So you can cheer me up. Think so too, actually.

1:30:44

Christmas morning, I

1:30:47

shall

1:30:47

be here. definitely between

1:30:49

seven and ten and boxing day morning as well. So if you buy yourself or even if you're with the

1:30:52

family, you know,

1:30:54

you might not want

1:30:56

to they will go,

1:30:57

oh, hey, a train set to train set. You know, you don't want to get excited about things, aren't that

1:30:59

tuned

1:30:59

into me? We can have a

1:31:02

bit of fun together. Abby and

1:31:04

Ripon. says

1:31:07

two tea towels bought and will be for

1:31:09

my daughters, Elite and myself are

1:31:11

both avid, Steve

1:31:13

Allen fans. Now she's at university. We

1:31:16

chat daily in love talking about

1:31:18

your show. The producer does the

1:31:20

same. It's mainly with a legal team. makes

1:31:22

it so much easier, I always think. Eight for eight five o's, steven ill, b c dot co dot u k. Craig Rebel

1:31:24

Hallwood says seeing Simon Cowell get Botox is

1:31:26

putting off having it. I can't watch it.

1:31:31

ever seen you get needles and they push them in the

1:31:34

Oh, no. Thank you. No. Thank

1:31:36

you. Someone used to look

1:31:39

lock after my banking years ago said,

1:31:41

if ever you get Botox, I'm closing your accounts down. I said,

1:31:43

there's no danger. I wouldn't let anybody stick a needle anywhere on my

1:31:45

face to freeze it. Thank you

1:31:47

very much indeed. What

1:31:50

else we got? We got Matt Coco,

1:31:52

Hancock could get the Tory whipp

1:31:54

restored after his jungle escades as

1:31:57

he's a richey Sunak loyalist. Yes.

1:31:59

No. I'm sorry. I really don't care what happens

1:32:01

to it. I really don't care. It makes me harsh.

1:32:03

It makes me harsh, but

1:32:05

I just I just really don't care. Also, the

1:32:07

the crowns bench starts amazing how many people have written to

1:32:09

me about the crown saying I didn't want to watch

1:32:12

it. Yeah. I've started

1:32:14

watching and now I'm addicted to it. people people get like that.

1:32:16

You know, when you when you look at

1:32:18

the displaced people, first of all, you

1:32:20

know, the the

1:32:23

brutal and bloated which was Henry

1:32:25

the eighth. He was the Brooklyn bloated.

1:32:28

Beheaded

1:32:28

at beheaded

1:32:30

Charles the first Charles the

1:32:32

first. He was executed in sixteen forty

1:32:34

nine after being allowed to walk

1:32:37

his pet dog

1:32:39