0:01

This is LVC from

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Global, leading Britain's conversation

0:07

with Steve Allen, holding a pretty nice

0:09

a company. Welcome to Tuesday. Welcome to

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November the 22nd. Where does the time go?

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It really is getting worse at the car this morning, ma'am.

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We thank you very much indeed. It was very, very

0:18

warm. warm, was the car I got on yesterday

0:20

was freezing cold. And he said, was it

0:22

an electric car? And I said, yes. And

0:25

he said, that's why it uses the electric

0:27

if you put the heating on. So consequently, I'm

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sat there. Frozen to death.

0:31

I mean, like you cannot believe

0:34

so so cold. But this

0:36

morning, lovely and toasty. We have a long

0:38

chat because my driver this morning had

0:40

gone quite a number of occasions. He

0:43

used to be within medical research

0:46

and we were talking about all sorts of procedures and

0:48

stuff like that. And it was quite interesting

0:50

actually because I learned a few little bits and pieces.

0:52

when you look at the the human body, and God

0:55

knows I have to look at mine on a daily basis.

0:57

It's quite marvelous. The things

0:59

that they can do now you

1:01

know, to sort of to get people better. So that's

1:04

why I always pick up the NHS. And

1:07

anybody associated with medicine who can sort

1:09

of make you for if you fit it, I mean, I I watch these

1:11

999 programs on the television.

1:13

Don't know why, because I'm very squeamish.

1:16

I

1:16

don't like watching any programs with blood or

1:18

needles going in. I can't bear it.

1:20

And, yeah, I've had it done, you know,

1:22

myself on a in fact, I'm gonna inject

1:24

this morning probably during the program. So if you hear

1:26

a a scream like a banshee, you

1:28

will know. that we've we've done

1:30

the the injection. And it was just one

1:32

of those sort of things. I sort of watch it on the television.

1:35

I mean, even on the medical

1:37

programs, I can't bet watch anything.

1:39

It just looked terrible. And you said,

1:41

oh, no. Please don't do that. Please

1:44

don't give them an injection. But they

1:46

do, but they do. But

1:48

anyway, keeps us better. I was gonna stop reading something

1:50

to anyone who obviously is the hospital that withdrew

1:52

somebody's insulin I'm sure if you're

1:54

a diabetic that it withdraw I've never heard of

1:56

withdrawing insulin. In fact, actually, I'm picking

1:58

up my insulin tomorrow

1:59

and my tablets. for

2:02

my chemist because the one thing you have to support

2:05

is local chemists. Local

2:07

chemists you support them. I don't support the

2:09

big nationals. They're there. but

2:11

I don't feel I'm getting the personal service.

2:13

The local chemist. And my one

2:16

in Twickenham is very good. They've got

2:18

a lot of staff in there and they're very

2:20

helpful, very useful, and

2:23

they dispense my medicine. You go in there, say

2:25

it's bottle to have it on Wednesday or I write

2:27

to the the owner and

2:29

and he always goes, yeah, sure. You know,

2:31

that so support your independent chemist

2:33

because there might be one day where, you know, you

2:35

start losing them in little places because they struggle

2:38

to make a living. I hope that my one doesn't because

2:40

they seem to be busy all the time. When they're making up the

2:42

prescriptions, it's like all day they've

2:44

got somebody's in who puts them all in the

2:46

dosset boxes. So when I get

2:48

my tablets back, I get four boxes

2:51

of tablets all in morning,

2:53

lunchtime, evening. And

2:55

so because I did try it before before

2:57

they did the boxes. You buy the boxes, and

3:00

then they fill them up for you and then stick

3:02

the prescription thing on the back, which is which is

3:04

quite good. Anyway, Not for that. Not for that.

3:06

What have we got for you today? Me moaning

3:08

on about the blumming weather freezing cold.

3:11

It's and it's gonna get colder. really

3:13

cold, really, really cold. So and

3:15

also damp. None in worse

3:18

than dampers, though. It's really a bit

3:20

a bit yucky. why

3:22

every des res needs to

3:24

install a doggy

3:26

shower. Apparently, they are

3:28

the latest things to have for

3:30

your long haired pooch. When

3:33

they come back, you have to sort of, you

3:35

you have to sort of bathe them and you have to put

3:37

me, why can't they just go in a normal shower?

3:40

don't have to have a doggy show. I mean, that's that's

3:42

short if you're going to doggy grooming. You

3:44

know, when they go to doggy grooming and they they've

3:46

got the sort of low level showers

3:48

and things like that, which is quite nice. Greekness.

3:52

The FIFA bullies

3:54

win over the armband threat. although I

3:56

noticed Alex Scott was wearing one the other day,

3:58

but everybody else had got, I mean, why don't they just

4:00

ditch FIFA? Why don't they tell them to go take a

4:02

running jump? They're quite clearly a bunch of idiots.

4:04

you know, when we listen to,

4:06

you know, all the people talking the other day, I mean,

4:09

absolutely rubbish. So

4:11

England six, Iran two,

4:13

I have no idea what that is. I have

4:15

no idea. I have no interest in it. I

4:18

couldn't care this. I just know that these stadiums

4:20

are three quarters empty. Three

4:22

quarters empty. and I was sort of

4:24

looking at it, thinking, is it

4:26

really worth it? And the answer

4:28

is not, probably. There was

4:30

one of the the wags every day at the other

4:32

day So she'd taken over six cases of

4:34

luggage, and she still turns up with a t shirt

4:36

and a pair of jeans. Although,

4:38

oh, honestly, these people, it's like one upmanship,

4:40

isn't it? sad but it must be

4:42

the only must be the only

4:45

sport where the wives

4:47

and the family turn up to it. you

4:49

know, I don't bring my family in here to

4:51

watch me working because I'm working every day. In

4:53

fact, God earlier, it's what I mean. It's an orphan.

4:56

They don't sort of come in from the home.

4:58

to support him. Why did the wax trail

5:00

about me on? Because they're bored. That's

5:03

what it is. They're so bored. All they

5:05

gotta do is go shopping a

5:07

house. and attempt

5:09

to string towards, oh, head dresser,

5:12

nails down, toes down,

5:15

more clothes,

5:16

Food, drink,

5:18

shopping. And that's it. Life

5:21

is a never ending round of shopping

5:23

and being boring. and then you

5:25

see them sort of split and then

5:27

they go, I can't believe it. You say, well, you weren't even

5:29

married there. You were just basically the one night

5:31

stand that went on for a year or so.

5:33

That's what happens now with football. you can't have

5:35

an intelligent you imagine having an intelligent

5:37

conversation with Wayne Rooney. What could

5:39

he talk about? What could he

5:41

talk about getting drunk? That

5:43

would be an interesting one, wouldn't it?

5:45

Very interesting. The medieval wall

5:47

in London found below

5:49

Westminster. below Westminster. Well, I should

5:51

imagine in the last bit. They all say, you know, there's loads

5:53

of stuff in this country. She's got to

5:55

dig down for it. So when they open up, you

5:57

know, the railway cuttings and stuff like that. They

5:59

find all sorts of things. All plague pits are

6:01

very popular, but they're normally well well documented.

6:03

Yeah. They had plague pits on the outskirts of

6:05

London. when we were at the height of the

6:07

plague and they

6:09

didn't have they didn't bury them in cemeteries. They

6:11

literally got thrown in a pit with lime on

6:13

top to dissolve the bodies.

6:16

and and they still find plague

6:18

pits every so often, you know, because that's

6:20

what we do because we lost thousands, well, thousands

6:22

of people mainly because London was a filthy,

6:24

duchy place. Not now. It's

6:26

much much cleaner due to Westminster accounts. Oh,

6:28

it's certainly cleaner than it used to be.

6:30

Oh, DMA used to be absolutely dreadful.

6:32

anyway, well done England, six Iran,

6:34

two. Congratulations. Nottingham

6:37

Castle has closed. Now I know you

6:39

think this is a bit old. because not

6:41

even Castle is very famous because,

6:43

yeah, Robin Hood, Robin Hood, writing through

6:45

the Glen, Robin Hood, Robin Hood

6:47

with his band of man, feared by

6:49

the bad, loved by the good Robin

6:51

Hood Robin Hood. Rob I used to

6:53

watch Lorne Green as Robin. Was it Lorne Green?

6:55

Might be one of those anyway. Playing Robin

6:57

Hood. And and

6:59

we loved it. We loved it. It

7:01

was great. And Nottingham Castle

7:04

was where the baddy, the Sheriff of Nottingham

7:06

lived, and he was evil. and

7:08

he was horrid and he didn't like Robin, and they were constantly

7:10

trying to outwit him to get Robin

7:13

arrested. There you go. Richard Greene,

7:15

Lorne Greene, I think was in something else. and

7:18

and Alan Weekly as his nemesis.

7:20

It was really I mean, he was the cleanest

7:22

looking robin of Sherwood you've ever seen.

7:24

went out with maid Marion, although I personally

7:26

think he fancied Friedauk. But,

7:28

you know, one of those things because Friedauk was just

7:30

eating all the time. They were really good.

7:32

You can buy the box set, Now

7:35

of of Robin Hood and you'll find

7:37

lots of famous people in

7:39

there. Richard Green was a noted

7:41

English start. He appeared in more than

7:43

forty films. Best known of course

7:45

for the Adventures of Robin Hood. It ran from

7:48

nineteen fifty five to fifty nine, a hundred and

7:50

forty three episodes. They

7:52

were really good. Really,

7:54

really good. And come

7:56

my mind. That's right. Yes. They're not even capsules

7:58

closed apparently. They've only just had a

7:59

thirteen million pound refit. they can't make

8:02

ends meet, so they've given it back to the council.

8:04

So they

8:04

spent all this money on it and basically screwed

8:07

it up. And they've

8:09

canceled the Christmas market there. and

8:11

they were charging too much when they reopened

8:14

it after they spent all this money. It was a

8:16

great shame because I think we should have that. There

8:18

was a a castle to sail some years ago

8:20

in France the castle of

8:22

the Black Knight. And it

8:24

came up for sale. They used to hold jousting

8:26

tournaments there. I think it was a castle.

8:28

Yeah. It was the castle of the Black Knight. and

8:30

down in their sellers were all the dungeons,

8:32

the original dungeons. And

8:34

I remember thinking, oh, you could buy

8:36

that. You could live there. You'd be it

8:39

would be a living tourist attraction.

8:41

The Castle of the Have you found it?

8:43

The Castle of the Black Knight? perhaps

8:46

he wasn't perhaps he wasn't a black knight. Perhaps he

8:48

was green or something. No. I'm sure he was the black

8:50

knight, but it did come up for sale a few years

8:52

back. I can't

8:54

remember where it was. I just know that it was in

8:57

France, and the

9:00

whatever it was, it had sellers

9:02

down underneath and the dungeons as well where

9:04

you'd be chained and shackled to the walls.

9:06

People pay for that. And they shackled you

9:08

to the wall and then they would leave you

9:10

there. And basically, you know, you just eventually

9:13

die. Although in London, if you

9:15

got thrown into the debtors prison here, if you

9:17

owed money, they would throw you into the debtors

9:19

prison. It didn't matter whether you were poor or

9:21

rich if you were rich, you had the family come

9:23

in. They would bring your food and stuff

9:25

like that. You live the life of Riley. If

9:27

you were poor, You got

9:29

nothing. Nothing at all. You

9:31

just had to suffer. And there are quite a number of

9:33

pubs in London that have got

9:35

sellers with sells in.

9:37

to keep people, you know, in

9:39

to be incarcerated. And they show people,

9:41

you know, have to ask, and they will then show

9:43

you all these we got all this stuff in. This is in

9:45

London. This is down the road from here.

9:48

How cool is that? Absolutely

9:50

brilliant. Millions over fifties.

9:52

That'll include me probably. Being

9:54

forced to come out of retirement to pay the bills

9:56

because I'm sorry, we keeping you up. We

9:58

are on the way I can tell this morning, you'll I tell

9:59

you you'll be asleep. I had a producer once fell asleep

10:02

on me during the program. And I

10:04

remember going, So I think we'll

10:06

take a short break. Nothing.

10:08

Nothing at all. And Oh,

10:10

look at the time. Let's take a

10:12

quick break, nothing gone

10:14

gone gone for the county was

10:16

until somebody came in from the new show and

10:18

went. Steve was trying to wake you up a

10:20

bit of sleep. I

10:22

mean, I wouldn't be doing anything like that as you

10:24

can well imagine. So

10:27

millions of people coming out retire to pay their bills

10:29

because people just can't can't make it

10:31

and they don't know what's gonna happen this winter, which

10:33

is very worrying, isn't it? Very worrying.

10:35

I had somebody come around the other

10:37

day. one of my neighbors said, oh, I'd let just let

10:39

them read your meter. They were

10:41

from whoever they were from. I can't remember

10:43

actually. And I remember thinking, well, you can read

10:45

it, but it won't make any difference because I

10:47

don't use gas anymore. I've stopped

10:49

using gas, which is very good.

10:51

I'm

10:53

electric. Yeah. Electric.

10:56

which which doesn't bother me.

10:58

Actually, I've been trying to see what the bill is because I have

11:00

lights on all the time. Literally,

11:02

all the time, two lights in the sitting room, two

11:05

lights in the bedroom and a light on in the

11:07

bathroom all the time. All the

11:09

time. I don't I don't turn them off. I

11:11

think it's on now. It's on that while

11:13

I'm not there, because I don't like going into a

11:15

dark place, it frightens me.

11:17

I don't like it. I sort of like, no, no, no.

11:19

And I always do the same every time I go, open the

11:21

front door, I'm home, Nobody.

11:23

because I live by myself, but

11:25

I'm quite happy. Tesco have

11:27

rationed eggs to three

11:29

boxes because people go, oh, who can't sleep

11:31

without eggs? There was somebody earlier on who

11:33

couldn't survive without baking soda. Was

11:35

it baking soda or baking powder or

11:37

something like that? talking to Darren, and I

11:39

remember thinking, get over yourself. Get

11:41

over yourself. Tesco, stop selling it. because

11:43

apparently, if there's no coal for it, they

11:45

don't bother producing it. And

11:48

what was the other one? Hundreds killed in that

11:50

Java earthquake. Isn't it funny? You

11:52

read that as just a number. You just

11:54

go others hundred and sixty two

11:56

people were killed in this Java earthquake, and

11:58

you just go hundred and sixty two people

12:00

were killed or a plane crashed. lots of three hundred

12:02

lives. You tend not to think of the after

12:04

effect, you know,

12:07

of of exactly the impact on

12:09

those families. Many of them were children.

12:11

Many of them are children. See,

12:13

Java just sounds like this idyllic

12:15

utopia and yet they have

12:17

earthquakes and so comes when that's

12:19

why a hundred and sixty two died.

12:22

Christmas railed chaos, I'm afraid.

12:24

The pay talks are faltering.

12:26

So that's not gonna be promising over Christmas. So my

12:28

advice is, you know, try and work out alternative

12:31

ways of getting to where you're going

12:33

for Christmas. There you

12:35

go. There's Java. We look at picture. It's

12:37

very beautiful. This is this is

12:39

they're they're growing rice, but they grow it in

12:41

tears on the hillside. They do it in

12:43

China as as well a lot. They take the water

12:45

buffalo up there and walk along these

12:47

sort of it's very pretty.

12:50

And in fact, actually, really, the whole of it is

12:52

just beautiful, isn't it? They

12:54

say Java Island has everything to

12:56

satisfy people. which is

12:59

which means they've obviously got, okay, f c, somewhere

13:01

in there, they haven't shown us. But it does

13:03

look very pretty, doesn't it? Very nice indeed.

13:05

I like that. My husband, as Jane,

13:07

created a dog washing place in the garage

13:09

from the old sink from the

13:11

kitchen and the old shower the house

13:13

bathroom is our spring of spring. You'll love getting

13:15

muddy. If they do, don't they? They do.

13:17

And you have to wash them and then they go,

13:20

like that. Steve,

13:22

hello, on LDC. Tony,

13:24

the trucker says, Steve, we have

13:26

a dog shower with hot water, hot water

13:28

tank in the shed at the bottom of the patch here with host pipe outside.

13:31

We got two dogs. A doberman

13:33

called Stan and a boxer

13:35

called Finley. They both get

13:37

a bit mucky after walks in the woods and

13:39

fields around the house and the outside shower saves

13:41

a lot of mess indoors. It's brilliant. Yeah. They

13:43

love rolling in foxes. doggy

13:45

doos don't know. There's some that they're

13:47

they're strangely attracted.

13:49

Strangely attracted to it. I've got no

13:51

idea. Steve Golden Square was a

13:53

plague pit. It's certainly was.

13:55

Situated in the center of

13:57

SoHo, it's got a secret history

13:59

because in the seventeenth

14:01

century, It was a plague

14:03

pit. As Lord McCauley wrote in

14:05

sixteen eighty five, it was a

14:07

field not to be passed without a

14:09

shutter by any Londoner of

14:11

that age. and that's where they did. They sort

14:13

of dug up and you had all these different

14:15

different pits around London

14:17

to put the bodies in. Like you during

14:19

half you'd have people walking down the road,

14:21

ringing a bell, going bring out your dead.

14:23

And people who'd passed away through all

14:25

sorts of various illnesses, would be

14:27

taken out to put on the these hand

14:29

carts, and they'd be wheeled to pits and

14:31

then just dropped in there. I mean,

14:33

people couldn't afford to go and get them buried. It would

14:35

took far too long. which

14:38

is a shame. Steve,

14:40

not yet in Castle. It's not a castle. It's a

14:42

Stuart Restoration era dukal mansion,

14:44

which is quite a shock to OVC's visitors.

14:47

Yeah. Whatever. It's got

14:49

all sorts of things underneath it, doesn't it? It's all hollowed

14:51

out, which I think is quite quite

14:54

lovely. Shane in

14:56

Sydney says Ryan Gossling is

14:58

making a movie in Sydney. He and his family

15:00

are staying at an apartment at Bondi

15:02

They were shocked to find a huge spider in their room.

15:04

It was removed. He's very happy now. So

15:06

I'd I'd have to have it removed. I

15:08

don't like spiders. small,

15:10

big, or otherwise, I just don't I just don't

15:12

like them. Yeah. creepy, creepy, creepy.

15:14

Not so good. And as David says,

15:17

I'm just catching up on your show. From yesterday, I

15:19

keep getting strange from others around the pool

15:21

area in Thailand. I keep

15:23

laughing out loud. They think I'm mad,

15:25

but might not be wrong. He said,

15:27

do you like Thai food or is it only fish

15:29

and chips? No. No. I eat I eat Thai food. In

15:31

fact yesterday, I had a a chicken curry, but it worked

15:33

with a Chinese chicken curry. And

15:35

you had pork carrier noodles,

15:37

breakfast, pizza fry up. Yes.

15:39

It probably does actually. Pork, curry,

15:41

and noodles. See that to me, I

15:43

know it seems a bit heavy for most people.

15:46

So probably probably not, but I I like

15:49

Thai food. I really do. Do

15:51

you remember William Tell, Tony

15:53

and Georgina from Spain in Quire?

15:55

Come away. Come away. With William Tal, come away.

15:58

London. London. London. London.

15:59

London. London. London. London.

16:02

London. or was that the

16:03

lone ranger? I liked him, but

16:05

it's with his best friend, Tom Toe -- Yeah.

16:07

-- whatever. I

16:09

watched Living yesterday, saw it with

16:11

Jay, Anandis says

16:14

Padita, who plays Magnum. I thought

16:16

it was a masterpiece and that NICE's

16:18

performance was exquisite.

16:20

J thought the film was boring. found

16:22

his view strangely offensive. I

16:25

love mister Nye. I love Bill

16:27

Nye. I think he's fab. I can't wait to see a

16:29

living. I should get ratchet, but I won't go to

16:31

the cinema. I shall bite on

16:33

DVD. I don't like sharing space in

16:35

a cinema with other people because if you want

16:37

to concentrate on a film, you

16:39

can't cut this people around you. And

16:41

it's like, you know, the the producer

16:43

be sitting there, you know, with the popcorn making

16:45

noise over dog on its hand in the bucket and

16:47

the giant hot dog and stuff. And you think she's

16:49

like, oh, get over yourself. You know,

16:52

then people chat during films. You know, if you

16:54

find it boring, go outside. Highly

16:57

rude. But, yes, I'm I'm

16:59

I'm looking forward to seeing it. detail. I trust you are

17:01

well and and

17:03

in fine form at the moment. You

17:05

see that love island failure,

17:08

Luca Bish. I believe he was a

17:10

fishmonger or something. I mean, honestly, I ask

17:12

you, Luca Bish, he stanked fans for

17:14

their how old is he three, four

17:16

years old? because he finished

17:18

going out with that

17:20

Owen's daughter, Gemma

17:22

Owen, you know, like that they're five years

17:24

old or something. They've finished going

17:26

out and I want to thank fans for all their kind

17:28

messages. I mean, get over yourself,

17:30

Powell. Dear me. Of course, the trouble

17:32

issue was obviously told to get rid of you. Why?

17:35

Boring. boring.

17:37

I never admitted to that. The good shot would

17:39

have sue Cleaver out of behind a celebrity.

17:43

And, you know, that's a bit bit

17:45

sad, isn't it? I think she was ready to go. She'd

17:47

made a bit of money. They've all

17:49

made a bit of money. They're all talk talking about it

17:51

because we've lost Charlene

17:53

and Scarlet. And now we've lost sue.

17:55

And of course, I told you, I did

17:57

predict on the program that they're going to say it's

17:59

the race card. And,

18:02

you know, and you think it isn't it's the public

18:04

voting. This isn't voted for by

18:06

some face well, they are faceless

18:08

people because they're voting at home, but they why? I

18:10

can't remember why they voted Charlene out.

18:12

Perhaps because they thought she was dull and

18:15

uninteresting or bossy or whatever.

18:17

and Scarlet because she didn't make any

18:20

impact. I mean, seriously, but bearing in

18:22

mind, this is all to do with the editing.

18:24

It's the way that a program is edited.

18:26

You can either put Scarlet in every

18:28

single shot. In which case you're thinking, oh my god,

18:30

she's really good. Or you cannot put her in

18:32

many shots. In which case people go,

18:34

I'm sorry, if she's still there, it's

18:36

the editing. That's how it

18:38

works. They're making a television

18:40

program. It's a bit

18:42

it's a bit embarrassing, really.

18:45

So they're now playing. But as I say, when they come

18:47

out, they should be very graceful because

18:49

they've earned thousands of pounds

18:51

for doing basically nothing.

18:53

nothing. You know, Charlene did the cooking

18:56

and Scarlet. Oh,

18:58

she did her, actually. But it's because she was

19:00

edited practically out of program that

19:02

I thought it was a bit disappointing. But there you go.

19:04

And then, of course, mister

19:07

Moyles decided to push the boat

19:10

out with with ant

19:13

because of his his drunk

19:15

driving. And

19:17

he got stopped in the car

19:19

and he got fired because I thought it was the biggest fine

19:21

ever. I wasn't aware of how it worked. But the fine

19:23

on things like that is based on

19:25

your earnings So

19:26

he got think I might be wrong. I'm

19:28

very, really wrong. It was eighty

19:30

six thousand pounds. And so

19:32

Chris Moyles

19:33

raised it. Now he was perfectly

19:35

entitled to raise it because it

19:37

was something that happened. He hasn't made it up.

19:39

It was something that hit all the newspapers.

19:42

and he talked about Ant's alcohol

19:44

addiction. You know, when he when he got in

19:46

the car, the one thing you can't do and everybody

19:48

does do it because whenever you stop

19:50

people who a sort of

19:52

driving, they go

19:54

eighty six thousand pound fine on a twenty

19:56

month ban. He set it

19:58

was fair hundred and thirty thousand pound a

20:00

week earnings. That's what he

20:02

earns. Hundred and thirty thousand pound a

20:04

week. But the one thing you cannot

20:07

do is if you have a few drinks,

20:09

get in the car, that is

20:11

the worst thing you can ever do. It's

20:14

too too dangerous

20:16

you know, and over the years, people have people have done it because they

20:18

get it's a very round

20:21

corner. They've found slumped over the wheel or

20:23

something because they've crashed the car into

20:25

a ditch. And I've

20:27

got no sympathy, and the police have no sympathy for

20:29

anybody who's done for drink driving. In fact, if anything,

20:31

they would rather, you know, throw the book

20:33

at them completely. And that's why

20:36

ant was made an example of in court because he's

20:38

a celebrity. You know, and people

20:40

go, oh, it's okay for him. Eighty six

20:42

thousand pound fine. eighty six

20:44

thousand pounds. He said admitted it's stung. Yeah.

20:47

Not really, actually. Eighty six thousand pounds.

20:49

A mere back atoll, ladies and

20:52

gentlemen. He said, I to punished. Yeah. You absolutely

20:54

did. Shouldn't have been such a prat in the first place

20:56

by getting in the car with his mother, I

20:58

believe. I believe his mother was in the car at the

21:00

same time. Had he had an

21:02

accident, either crashing into other

21:04

cars or crashing him so God knows what the

21:06

outcome could have been. God

21:08

knows But whatever it is, if you're

21:11

drinking, you don't drive.

21:13

You really don't. It's it's the biggest no

21:15

no on the planet. Paxman trades

21:18

quizzes for wine, women, and fine arts.

21:20

I watched him doing the, but it must have been an

21:22

old one actually. University challenge. I

21:24

quite like him. I don't know any of the answers.

21:26

I've

21:27

know what? Why would you

21:29

find that surprising? I don't know it seriously. I

21:31

don't even understand the questions. Let alone the

21:34

answers. let alone the answers.

21:36

And also, the traditional car

21:38

handbrake is reaching the end

21:40

of the road. Well, I haven't had a handbrake

21:42

on a car for ages. because when you

21:44

learn to drive, they said okay. So you put the car in

21:46

gear, put on the

21:49

accelerator, and one on the clutch, and

21:51

then you slowly release

21:53

the handbrake. Well, of course, you don't do that

21:55

now. My car's automatic. I'm

21:57

gonna have to be there. Obviously, just to

21:59

steer it. but it's it's automatic. So I

22:01

don't have a handbrake. I have a little button

22:03

I push if I want to add the extra brake

22:05

onto it. But normally, when you sort of get out of the

22:07

car, nobody can take it. because

22:09

you can't move it without the key of which

22:11

I have. You know, it that's

22:13

the only thing that activate. It doesn't it just has

22:15

to be about your person. I I

22:17

tuck it away in a secret place

22:20

so that, you know, nobody never

22:22

find it. I promise you. It's under the

22:24

third flowerpot on the left. 885

22:27

o's steven w c dot co dot u

22:29

k. If you remember the gay club massacre, we would

22:32

talk about the other the other day,

22:34

the shooter who was fell to the ground

22:36

by Drag Queen apparently. Don't mess

22:38

with Drag Queen's. I'm telling you, don't

22:40

mess with Drag Queen's. I remember doing a

22:42

show with Paul O'Grady years and

22:44

years ago. I said, I don't think we're gonna get paid. He said, we're gonna

22:46

get paid, Steve. We'll probably get paid.

22:48

And he went up to boat. He said, Steve and I want

22:50

our money. Nobody mess with

22:52

Paul O'Grady. I'm telling you, he worked

22:54

hard for his loot. It was well worth it.

22:56

But this shooter in this gay

22:58

club massacre has stayed silent so

23:00

far nothing. That way, they will loosen

23:02

his tongue. Supermarket petrol

23:04

prices are too high, and

23:06

the army officer who broke the

23:08

curfew to go and get app

23:10

pizza. It was amazing how desperate people are

23:12

for a pizza. And Harry and Meghan of

23:14

frauds says Piers Morgan are basically

23:16

they are. Had he not been in the royal family,

23:19

they'd have been two no marks. Absolutely. All

23:22

he would be is a silly little bloke who

23:24

got drunk and dressed up and

23:26

abused people. That's the only thing he could

23:28

say about and she was a very average

23:30

actress. But luckily, because

23:32

they and they're going for this award for

23:34

outing the royal family as racist. I mean,

23:36

you've never heard garbage in your entire

23:39

life really is embarrassing, isn't it? But

23:41

there again, they are embarrassing. Very

23:43

embarrassing. So hooray,

23:46

Jude, and Saka twice, Sterling, Rashford, and

23:48

Grilish. So six two

23:50

in Qatar, Lucas. We

23:52

don't I mean, we get paid for

23:54

it? Or is there money in the pot or something you walk away with

23:56

a, you know, ridiculous slivers will need

23:58

huge helpings of willpower as Weight

24:01

Watchers now meet at Toby Carberry

24:03

Restaurants. It's just you you pay

24:05

money for somebody to tell you don't eat so

24:07

much fatty. That's what they do. That's

24:09

what it is. It's a case of, you know,

24:11

you go there because you go, I

24:13

can't manage it by myself. And

24:16

so you go to a company like Weight Watchers or

24:18

any of these other companies. It's a billion dollar

24:21

industry. seriously, a billion dollar industry of telling

24:23

people how to lose weight. And I think people think, oh, I've

24:25

lost the weight in that fab. I'll bring out a

24:27

DVD. And then, oh, not the weight's going

24:29

back on again. Yeah. because

24:31

that's how it works. It's called yoyo

24:33

dieting. It's not complicated. As she

24:35

says, it always baffles me that the twenty four hour

24:37

petrol station sell alcohol and

24:39

pups have car parks. So you remember the old advert

24:41

where the guy says, I lost my job, my

24:43

family, my life. And the guy behind

24:45

says, just the one, is it? Yeah.

24:47

That's the way it is. It always mazes

24:49

me actually that, you know, people still go to

24:51

pubs. I'm surprised you can afford it.

24:53

So expensive to go to a pub. I'm in hinted

24:55

about three and a half pounds now, isn't it? Somebody

24:57

told me once. I'm not too sure

24:59

actually how it works, but I

25:02

mean, I don't quite get

25:05

Why people go and sit in pubs?

25:07

Sometimes you get them by themselves.

25:09

The billionaire mates of this world, they

25:11

sit there in in the pub. and and

25:13

the barman doesn't wanna talk to them. So

25:15

the barman's up right into the bar and the person,

25:17

the billionaire mate, he said they get them in

25:20

Emmerdale. They sit there at the bar. They don't talk to anybody.

25:22

They don't know anybody. And you think,

25:24

God, your life must be so tragic.

25:26

Leading

25:27

Britain's conversation,

25:31

LBC, with Steve

25:32

Hallum. Morning.

25:34

Nice heavy company. Welcome Tuesday. Welcome to November

25:36

the 22nd, which are very exciting.

25:38

People talking about trees up at

25:40

all. I've got probably one of my trees

25:43

two up outside and one of them, it just won't

25:45

stay on for five minutes. Very

25:47

annoying. Very new. We've even moved

25:49

its position. So poor old Alex, I don't know what

25:51

we're gonna do actually. I think we're gonna have to take take the

25:53

thing down and stick it somewhere

25:55

else, I should imagine, because it's just not

25:57

working actually. Steve, I'm not seeing

25:59

the podcast of your show as I ride the ferry across Sydney

26:01

Harbour to work. I work as a housekeeper,

26:05

stroke cook for a businesswoman, She's

26:07

a single mom with three her big fancy house in

26:10

Cremon Point, which is one stop from the opera

26:12

house. I think Pete the poor man would have lots

26:14

of work here. Here are some photos.

26:17

And oh, very pretty, isn't

26:19

it? Oh, yeah. Very Oh, it's a nice big

26:21

house. I like that. That must take some

26:23

dusting. You can see the purple.

26:25

Is it Jasaranda

26:28

trees are in bloom and all the beautiful Jasmine on

26:30

the walls of the homes. Tell Shane from

26:32

Sydney, I live in Merrickville,

26:34

And I think it'd be such fun if we caught up

26:36

over some festive prosecco to talk

26:38

about you says Yvette. No. I don't think

26:40

that's a good idea at all actually. I

26:42

really don't. Apparently, Steve, some pubs

26:44

and tutoring drew a pint for six quids

26:46

as Al. Alright.

26:48

Six quid a pint.

26:50

I'll surprise

26:51

people stay at home. Steve, did David

26:53

Beckham accept the millions? Oh, yeah. He's always

26:55

troughed at it. Of course, he has.

26:57

because he doesn't care about human rights, stellar. And he

26:59

had no intention of denoting it to charity.

27:02

Whereas Joe Lysitt's money has

27:04

gone to LB. Lots

27:07

of people. LGBT people,

27:09

which I thought he would do. I didn't think

27:11

he'd be that silly. Although somebody got it wrong

27:13

on the television yesterday, they they said, oh, It's

27:16

illegal to incinerate money. No,

27:18

it's not it's not incinerate. You can do what you like with

27:20

your money. You

27:20

can screw it up. You just can't deface

27:23

it. You

27:23

can't deface it. So a lot of magicians used to

27:26

use that line, sign this ten pound note or

27:28

whatever, and then they go, that's illegal.

27:30

You know? Lorne Greene

27:32

starred in bonanza, I believe, and possibly

27:34

high Chaparral says Chris. I used to

27:36

watch him in battle star Galactica on

27:38

Sundays at my Nana Grande

27:40

as who Steve says,

27:42

Chris, I'd like to know where you get a pint

27:44

for three pound fifty. What? I don't.

27:46

I don't because I've never drunk a

27:49

pint. actually. And, well,

27:51

I just haven't drunk a pint ever in my

27:53

entire life. Never drunk bitter. Never drunk

27:55

lager. Never drunk Guinness. Never drunk

27:57

anything at all. never

27:59

in my entire life. Never. There's not

28:01

a lie. I'd swear in my mother's life, I've

28:03

never drunk a pint. Why would I drink

28:05

a pint?

28:07

No. Absolutely. Not can't bear the I

28:09

had had a a tiny little

28:11

sip of something years and years ago. It was disgusting.

28:14

Now, people could enjoy it. See, why do men

28:16

boast to disclose they don't wear pants

28:18

under their trousers if going commando is

28:20

something to be proud of? I've

28:22

read recently of several celebrities announcing it as their

28:25

secret. One being Jeremy Kyle

28:27

and several of my friends often announced their

28:29

pantless on occasions. I

28:31

think it's under hygienic and very uncomfortable. What's your

28:34

opinion says, James? What happened? I

28:36

don't really know whether we're gonna discuss things

28:38

like this. at twenty three minutes,

28:40

twenty four minutes to five in the morning whether or not

28:42

people should go commando. I think it

28:44

doesn't Richard Bayley go commando. I

28:47

believe so. I mean, personally, I've

28:49

never done it. Personally,

28:50

because IAI think it's uncomfortable. And

28:53

b, if you

28:53

happen to dribble, It's going

28:55

to look a bit ridiculous, isn't it? So, you

28:58

know, especially if you've got prostate problems or

29:00

something like that. But

29:03

no, I I don't really think so. There you

29:05

go. Richard Madly says he does it all the

29:07

I mean, you know, within the first two minutes of having

29:09

Sunday brunch, he said he he went commando

29:12

I just think looks great. I don't think it's

29:14

a good look. And also, there is that

29:16

danger with the zip, isn't that? And

29:19

we've all been there. I

29:21

want to go into that one at the moment. Lorraine says, I'm listening to you

29:23

on my birthday. Today from

29:26

four AM, you're keeping me pleasantly awake,

29:28

and I forgot a very important

29:30

birthday. yesterday. In

29:32

fact, III missed a very, very

29:34

important birthday, which was very

29:37

naughty of me. It's only because I didn't

29:39

check my thing And

29:41

it's for mister Neil. And mister

29:43

Neil says, I don't think any proper Cornish pasty

29:45

shop would worry about Greg's opening in

29:47

Cornwall because we've talked about that the other day. He

29:49

says happy birthday to lovely Patsy, because it

29:51

was Patsy's birthday the other day. And thank you

29:53

to Tony Paladri for looking after us in

29:56

Little Italy in fifth Street. on

29:58

Friday, outstanding meal and company. It was. It was

30:00

really nice. It was really nice. It was

30:03

very very nice, but Patsy's birthday the

30:05

other day So many happy returns of the

30:07

day. And if anybody else is celebrating today,

30:09

happy birthday. Hope you have a lovely day.

30:11

Even if you're by yourself, it doesn't matter.

30:14

It doesn't matter. Projude is always by himself, and he celebrates

30:16

birthdays, Christmas, Hanukkah, ead.

30:18

He does the whole lot Diwali. You name

30:20

the festival. He he grabs it with

30:23

both hands. and celebrates it because

30:25

he he just likes likes

30:27

festivals, which is okay, isn't it? My driver this

30:29

morning does everything, he does eat,

30:31

devali, Hanukkah, happy

30:34

Christmas, happy Easter, whatever else you've

30:36

got. He doesn't mind. We don't care

30:38

about these sort of things. Makes no

30:40

difference, doesn't it? It's just

30:42

it's celebrating something. I wanted to celebrate

30:44

eating stolen the other day, but

30:46

it's just stolen is delicious. Oh,

30:49

three moist comes in little. small

30:51

pieces. You never get a big stolen cake. Well, you probably can get

30:53

big stolen cake. I like that and I like that.

30:55

What's that Italian thing? There you go.

30:57

That's stolen. Oh, it's delicious.

31:00

really nice. It's it's fruit bread

31:02

and it's got dried and candied fruit. It's

31:04

sort of it's Germanic and origin,

31:06

and it's really lovely. It really it

31:08

really is delicious. but I like

31:11

Panatone. That is I mean,

31:13

that apparent now apparently, you can dip

31:15

it

31:15

or dunk it and

31:16

you dunk it in hot

31:19

chocolate and stuff like that.

31:21

And I remember thinking, oh, dear. I don't think

31:23

that's that's a very nice idea. But

31:25

Panatoni, is absolutely

31:27

delicious. It's very light. You just

31:29

rip it to pieces. They do one

31:31

with all different flavors. It's got all lots of

31:34

little ones. And have you ever had it

31:36

yeah. You've had it oh, of course you have.

31:38

And, you know, probably had

31:40

it on the moon or something, I should

31:43

imagine. but it's it's very light.

31:45

So light. I mean, you could pick it up. You could

31:47

with two hands. Really amazing.

31:50

Very nice. So, birthdays we're

31:52

celebrating today and the other story in the

31:54

paper, I'm not sure about this story.

31:57

I'm I'm really I'm I'm really not

31:59

sure

31:59

about it. And I don't know which which

32:02

direction it's gonna take me because it's a story

32:04

of the widow. of the tragic

32:06

wanted style Tom Parker.

32:08

Now Tom Parker died back

32:10

in March and he

32:13

was he was very very ill

32:15

and he had brain cancer and it was

32:17

spreading and he died. And I

32:19

remember thinking, oh, how sad I

32:21

said, we used to look after the wanted years

32:23

ago, and they were constantly in this

32:25

building. But anyway, she's on

32:27

television at the moment in a in

32:29

a program. This is Kelsey Parker

32:31

and talking about,

32:33

you know, life without it. Anyway, she's found a new

32:36

boyfriend. Now, this is a bit where I

32:38

get a bit uncomfortable don't listen. It makes no difference

32:40

to me who somebody goes out with, but I think he

32:42

only died in March. She's doing

32:44

a program about him dying. Now what? He

32:46

might have said to her. as

32:48

indeed do a lot of people in situations like

32:50

that. Listen, don't sit

32:52

around moping by yourself. Go and find

32:54

somebody. And so she's found somebody, but this time

32:56

she found somebody, to say

32:58

unusual would be an understatement. He's

33:00

an electrician who was jailed

33:02

for four years for a one

33:04

punch killing outside a pub.

33:07

And that's where it doesn't sit well

33:09

with me. It really doesn't. Anyway,

33:12

this bloke, Shawn,

33:15

Boggins, and her met at a

33:17

wedding in Greece. They've been

33:19

on several dates. He was by a side at

33:21

another Powell's marriage last month. The guest at the

33:23

bash in Greenwich said, it's

33:25

early days. and she has a lot on her plate,

33:27

but he showed her so much support. And

33:30

he was with her on what was a tough day they

33:32

were kissing and looking loved up.

33:34

Kelsie was left distraught when

33:36

Tom died to her two young children died

33:40

from brain cancer. Her new fellow

33:42

Boggins as two children from a previous fourteen year relationship.

33:44

So in twenty thirteen, he

33:46

was jailed for four years for manslaughter on

33:48

a night out. And Boggins

33:51

comes from Brentwood in Essex.

33:54

Kelsey, of course, met Tomina, West London nightclub

33:56

in two thousand and nine. And

33:59

they went on to have two number ones with the boy

34:01

band but was diagnosed with this inoperable

34:03

tumor in October twenty

34:06

twenty. You see, I mean, as I say, it's got nothing to do with

34:08

me. I just can't be If that was my

34:10

family, I'd be thinking it's

34:12

too soon.

34:14

It's March, April, May,

34:15

June, July, August, September, October.

34:17

Only eight months ago. Only eight now

34:20

and say,

34:20

it's nothing to do with me. People can go

34:22

out with who they want. But it's

34:24

like, imagine the situation. I always used to imagine after my

34:27

father died and my mother

34:29

then was by herself, as

34:31

you can might imagine. And

34:34

some bloke turned up at the funeral, who apparently

34:36

she'd known years ago, even you

34:38

know, I didn't even know who he was, but he

34:41

turned up and apparently you know, he

34:43

he sort of had my mother in his sights. Although, she is again,

34:45

I remember thinking, how would I feel if

34:47

my mother decided to get

34:50

married again? to somebody

34:52

else that we don't know. And it, you know,

34:54

it is it is a bit of an old one,

34:56

really. And I couldn't I just hoped it would

34:58

never happen. And luckily, it didn't. Luckily, it didn't.

35:00

So that was that was a little bit

35:02

better. But I don't know. Tom Tom

35:04

Parker, but a bit sorry for him. But he might have said to

35:06

a listen, go

35:08

out and find happiness. You've you've got kids to bring up, but

35:10

certainly an odd choice of person. Put

35:12

it that way. Chris Boyle's edgy of

35:15

humor has become a trial for under celebrity producers who turned the air

35:18

blue with a string of gags at

35:20

to Antwerp

35:22

Parkland's expense. He talked about

35:24

his battle with alcohol

35:26

addiction, his arrest following the car

35:28

crash. He's caused a headache for the

35:30

producers in the editing suite. Well, that's what they paid

35:32

to do. They're paid to edit the program. It doesn't make

35:34

any difference. I don't know if they make such a big

35:36

drama. I don't know. Oh, the

35:38

editors, the producer had to

35:40

start editing things, oh,

35:42

didoms get over yourself.

35:44

Listen, it doesn't make any difference. They're paid

35:46

to edit. It's like, you know, if my producer went on, I'll

35:48

sure say we can do that. You go, that's what you're paid

35:50

to do. It's as simple

35:52

as that, you know. I'll tolerate

35:54

so much moaning before I then

35:56

clamp down.

35:58

Grow up you know, that's what you have

36:00

to do. You know, you have to keep them keen,

36:03

treat them mean. Always works

36:05

every single time. So over in

36:07

Ukraine, the supermarkets have opened. which

36:09

is good news. And they've got loads

36:11

of lemons and bananas. I don't know what you can

36:13

make out of that,

36:14

but but

36:18

no no heating running water or

36:20

power, but they have got lemons and bananas.

36:22

People fighting over bananas. I don't

36:24

really know what you can do with bananas. You can't do a lot

36:26

with them. Can you? I mean, you could deep

36:28

fry them, I suppose, or you

36:30

could just slice them and sort of fry them off

36:32

or something, I don't know, barbecue

36:34

bananas. That's no. It's not that interesting.

36:36

Here they are. these are the

36:38

air air people. The

36:40

flight shippers arriving at

36:42

court, one of them with the traffic cone on his

36:44

head. And you know, it it actually

36:46

fits him. and it suits him. He looks like the prat that he really is. His

36:48

name's Luke Edwards. He was part

36:50

of a gang that used to public road as their

36:52

own private

36:54

dumping ground Partnering Crime, Jason Castle, also hit his

36:56

face by covering it with two COVID masks. So

36:58

come on, girls. Come

37:00

on, show your faces. We know what you

37:02

look like. The

37:04

publicity shy pair appeared at Winchester Crown Court together with

37:07

Michael Whitaker fifty two, an

37:09

old man Daniel Whitaker thirty

37:11

four, presumably the son and

37:13

Shane Griggs thirty seven, all five admitted deposit

37:16

in controlled waste. That's what these people

37:18

do. They come around your house. We'll

37:20

actually get rid of that for you. Take it and go and dump

37:22

it in a road. Each one

37:24

of them find one thousand

37:26

two hundred pounds and ordered to

37:28

pay between a thousand and two

37:30

hundred and two thousand five hundred in costs. The

37:32

officials estimated the cost of the clearing was

37:34

forty two thousand. So why did

37:36

the judge turn out to be such

37:38

a watsuit? not charged

37:40

in the full forty two thousand pounds. These

37:42

people never learned. They'll they'll carry on doing

37:44

it because they're a bit thick and

37:46

stupid. And also judging by

37:48

the picture, fat. You

37:50

know, far bit for me to talk about the well

37:52

fed people. They should have been fined ten grand

37:54

each, so the council gets its money back.

37:57

Why should we have to pay for it? because

37:59

ultimately, you're paying for it. Steve Malone

38:01

on LVC, taxed 84850

38:04

Well, being nice to our trust we find you well

38:06

and happy, if not a bit freezing at the

38:08

moment. It is it is definitely chilly

38:11

bomb outside, as

38:14

they say. My dad

38:16

says Tim went on

38:18

to marry the nurse who looked after his first

38:20

wife when she was dying of cancer.

38:24

He had three young children at the time thirty two to later thirty two

38:26

to later still together. I know I

38:28

know it's the way it goes. It's

38:31

the way it goes. Sara says I'm early retired,

38:33

so I always go to the cinema during the day. And

38:35

there's never more than ten other people in there.

38:37

Like you, other people chatting and eating

38:39

noisily really annoys

38:42

me. Yesterday, I saw Armageddon time with Anne

38:44

Hathaway, Jerry Strong, Banks,

38:46

repeater, Jeline Webb, Anand,

38:50

Hopkins. Don't tell us whether have to

38:52

guess on that one. And the the Caribbean

38:55

star, Gary

38:57

Walton.

38:59

one point four four million pounds in his

39:01

will. He died aged seventy eight in

39:03

January. He played David

39:06

Horton. the parish chairman. Do

39:08

you remember in the vicar of Dibley?

39:10

The he was the the one who

39:12

had a son as well who was going

39:15

out with the vicar's

39:18

sidekick who died in

39:20

real life, and it was his son who

39:22

was David Horton's son in

39:24

the program. But anyway, probate

39:26

office papers show he left his

39:28

fortune to his only son Josh and his

39:30

two grandchildren. He also

39:32

appeared in brushstrokes,

39:34

the Sweeny, at hotel Babylon. And at the time

39:36

Josh said his father passed away peacefully

39:38

saying, we'll all miss him terribly.

39:40

Yeah. He he trained

39:42

he trained in america in America. Trading America,

39:44

but he left all the money to his son. The two grandchildren, which

39:46

was quite nice, isn't it? I suspect one point

39:48

four million would be the cost of a

39:51

house. That's what I would think it was, you know,

39:53

very unlikely to have one point four

39:55

million pounds in the bank as it were. I see

39:57

there's a Tesco delivery

39:59

driver story.

40:00

which we haven't had before. This

40:02

one shows the

40:04

driver caught on a video doorbell allegedly

40:06

trying to kiss a customer.

40:10

I mean, don't expect that. Somebody's delivering your bananas.

40:12

Do you? The man thought to be

40:14

in his sixties, grabbed both sides of the woman's

40:16

face and lent towards her.

40:18

The mother of one said she turned away and felt his fingers, slide down her

40:20

nose and lips before he said, sorry and

40:23

left. The incident came after the

40:25

driver asked how old she was.

40:28

Dear. The woman from Watford says it made

40:30

me feel scared and anxious, pleased for investigating. Tesco

40:32

has suspended the driver, pending

40:36

a probe. Make a that what you will. Make a that

40:38

what you will. Unbelievable, isn't

40:40

it? Don't expect that from a Tesco driver

40:42

or any driver. Thank you very

40:44

much indeed.

40:46

i'm adele Adel is

40:48

flogging necklaces, which say

40:51

divorced in

40:51

big gold letters that this is part

40:53

of a merch. part of

40:55

a merch, which is lovely. Sam Smith

40:58

is the most confident they have

41:00

ever been because he identifies Art

41:02

in our

41:04

I'm confused. And and says he feels stunning

41:06

after over coming years of body image issues.

41:08

And he says, I've been really

41:11

come force myself to get naked more. I

41:14

had to take my top off when I was going

41:16

to the swimming pool or in the sea, but also take

41:18

my top off probably in situations where people

41:20

around me when I put your put

41:22

your top on while you're naked. Now if

41:24

you were naked, you wouldn't have your

41:26

bottoms on either. But to be honest with,

41:28

I wouldn't recommend it. Get yourself into an

41:30

awful lot of trouble. They confirmed

41:32

that romance was back home. This

41:34

is dreary old mayor JAMA and

41:36

Stormy. They made an appearance of the

41:38

GQ awards, even though her reps because

41:41

you can't talk. They have to sort of speak

41:43

to my rep. My I have people who do

41:45

things like that. So are they having an

41:47

affair? I do. have no idea probably not. It's one of

41:49

those things, isn't it? And there's a bloke here

41:52

recorded giant

41:54

goldfish. goldfish It's

41:56

of a hybrid of a leather carpet, a clay. This is

41:58

a blue water lakes in northern France, and

42:01

this one is huge. Huge.

42:04

Absolutely. He spent twenty five minutes reeling her in

42:08

and I think it weighs sixty seven

42:10

pounds, four ounces. That is one hell of

42:12

a goldfish. what

42:14

happens is goldfish grow to the size of the pond that

42:16

they're in. So in other words, if

42:18

you've got a big garden pond and you put goldfish

42:20

in there, they will get bigger and bigger

42:24

and bigger. until they sort of outgrow the pond. That's what I that's how

42:26

it happens. This one is

42:28

enormous. Absolutely enormous. Twenty five minutes to

42:30

really embassy sixty said, what do you

42:32

see it? If you stood it

42:34

up on end, it would be the size of this bloke. Huge r ones were enormous. And

42:40

You know, very nice, but but they they do grow. They do

42:43

grow. Now the picture of Ochi Mabusi, it

42:45

looks like it's been superimposed actually, modelling

42:47

a wet suit. She

42:50

got a new agent or something because every day I'm not the paper, there's another

42:52

story about OT Mabusi.

42:54

Shirley Ballas, that's a surprise.

42:58

hamcoring to be a pig farmer.

43:00

Oh. I quite like pigs when they're

43:02

little piglets. Don't like them when they

43:04

get sort of bigger on my journey down to

43:06

my brother's. delicious.

43:08

That is

43:09

just awful. That's what you're trying

43:10

to do to save the planet, and you're

43:13

talking about eating pork. Oh, no.

43:15

Stop it. That's horrible port

43:18

over port scratching. You know, we had those lovely

43:20

calendars didn't we from was it from the

43:22

snaffling pig? Come in. Did you

43:24

not get those? Oh, what a show must have been

43:26

Joe? Must have been Joe. Never

43:28

mind. Never mind. But

43:30

no, we used to live near a

43:32

pig farm. years and years ago. And the sows

43:34

basically were just they were baby producers.

43:36

They just produced piglets

43:38

and piglet was sort of then up

43:40

and then taken off the market. And that's a

43:42

bit I didn't like. I don't like anything like

43:44

that. I could never I could never ever go

43:46

anywhere near an abattoir or just feel a

43:48

bit sorry for all the animals, you know,

43:50

but then somebody said that's that's what

43:53

happens. You know, we we sort of

43:55

grow them and they grow to be a size

43:57

and somebody takes them to my it and then somebody buys

43:59

them, fattens them up even more and then they get sent off to the

44:01

slaughterhouse and we buy them. I don't like

44:03

the idea at all really. Jihati

44:06

Bryant, Shamima Begum, knew exactly what

44:08

she was doing when she joined terrorists in Syria.

44:10

I wouldn't trust her as far as I could

44:12

throw her. The somebody says here,

44:15

this was an MI five officer. He

44:17

spoke out as her legal team insisted

44:19

she'd been a child trafficking victim, what

44:21

a load of old cobblers. I

44:23

wouldn't trust her as far as I could throw her. I think

44:25

she's a danger to this this

44:28

country. She knew exactly what she was

44:30

doing when she left

44:32

Bethnall Green She's a legend of help make suicide vest for bombers.

44:34

But her team has she got a

44:36

team, a team

44:37

who's paying them She got

44:39

a legal team. They say that she's she

44:41

was punished too harshly when she was stripped

44:43

of her UK citizenship in twenty

44:46

They don't want her back here. My home office,

44:48

the foreign office, said no, thank you very much indeed.

44:50

I wouldn't I

44:51

really couldn't trust her. Really couldn't trust

44:53

her. I mean, most of her

44:55

stuff appears to be lie. She was

44:57

trying to get back into the country before and they no. I'm sorry.

45:00

Sorry. No. Christmas is made

45:02

amazing at Aldi apparently, where they're selling

45:04

a Christmas this a

45:06

six month matured Christmas pudding. Bear in mind,

45:08

the one in Fortum and Mason's is about

45:10

thirty five pounds. The one

45:12

at Aldi is one pound eighty five.

45:15

and that six month matured. because what you should do

45:17

is buy two. You should

45:19

buy two. And then you have one this

45:21

year, and then next year, you eat

45:23

that one that's been sitting there for a year. And what you do is you

45:25

keep adding booze to it. Oh,

45:28

it tastes lovely when they matured.

45:30

Absolutely. As long as they've got

45:32

booze in, then you can then you can mature it and just add a little

45:34

bit each time. But yeah, ordered by two

45:36

Christmas pudding. Save one,

45:38

eat one.

45:39

Probably, but I don't know

45:42

anybody who eats Christmas pudding. The

45:44

lovely idea is you have it after Christmas lunch, but

45:46

you're so stuffed After you've had

45:48

Christmas launched brandy butter, what the

45:50

Christmas pudding. Dippies are ridiculous and

45:52

a brandy butter when a Christmas pudding, never

45:54

in the like of it,

45:56

honestly. sacrilegious they're gonna be out of the brownies. You a

45:58

bit of brandy on there and

45:59

cream. there and cream Okay.

46:02

Cream. Awesome.

46:04

No because it's the common people, Brandy butter. There's no

46:06

such thing as Brandy butter. It's made

46:08

up. It it's Western democracy

46:12

taking over. and making us eat

46:14

things that we don't want to eat. You should have it with

46:16

ice cream or clotted cream

46:18

and that's it. If you really push it, you

46:20

could have it be custard. which is

46:22

very nice sadder. Look, brandy

46:24

butter, seven pound. I mean, how many people do

46:26

you know could afford to eat

46:28

that. There's one tip tree, brandy butter,

46:30

three pound fifty. and that's sold in

46:32

boots, the chemist. What does that tell

46:34

you? What does that tell

46:36

you? Sainsbury's brandy about a two pound

46:38

fifties, outrageous

46:40

prices, dreadful I won't be eating

46:42

that anytime soon now. That's why you've

46:44

that's why you've got that stomach on yours. Watch

46:46

it is. 84850

46:48

steve at LBC dot co dot

46:50

u k. Steve, it'll take some bold. How's that

46:52

goldfish said? It's huge.

46:54

It's and, you know, I have

46:57

Bert and Ernie Steve, they're about

46:59

eight inches long. I love your knowledge. They're right. They grow to

47:01

the size of the enclosure. Oh, the last

47:04

one went We

47:06

had a a pool full of them. They just got bigger and bigger, and you

47:08

don't really notice them because they hide under, you know,

47:11

leaves and things like that in the

47:13

pond. Unfortunately, the Heron found

47:16

them. and I came out one day to discover the heron with its

47:18

wings spread over the pools, so it could see exactly

47:20

where they were, literally picking them out of the pool

47:22

and swallowing them whole. Seriously

47:24

awful awful. John Kennedy says Shane was assassinated

47:27

on this day in nineteen sixty

47:29

three. We remember it very

47:31

well indeed, and Matt says

47:34

you're right the weather, I stupidly went out and twickenham. In a jumper,

47:36

no jacket or coat was frozen. Don't risk

47:38

it. It's too dangerous and it's gonna

47:40

get colder. It's gonna

47:42

get much, much, much, much

47:44

colder. So I think I might have to go, I might

47:46

go buy some gloves today, something like

47:48

that in Martha's spencers to see what they've got. I don't know whether they get woolen or

47:50

leather. What a choice on this. What a

47:52

this rock and roll lifestyle

47:54

is brilliant.

47:59

This is LVC from

48:02

global, leading

48:04

Britain's Congress nation with Steve

48:06

Allen. Molding,

48:09

nice every

48:12

company

48:12

three minutes past

48:14

five. I told you the other day that James

48:16

O'Brien was off filming in

48:20

Belfast for mastermind

48:22

and unwinding up the producer up, it

48:24

didn't take much, just a big key in the side and

48:26

just turn it. And on

48:28

on what his specialist subject, is

48:32

or was. And he's been through everything. I'm not even

48:34

gonna give you any clues because that would be unfair and

48:36

it would spoil the program. But the

48:38

producer going, is it sound fair? Is it sound fair? I'm not

48:40

telling you. And so far, even

48:42

though we're near, nowhere

48:44

near, you know, I've given him I've given

48:46

him all all the clues that there are necessary

48:48

and that's it. Steve, I

48:50

worked close to a pig farm,

48:52

albeit some people call it the House of

48:54

Commons. Steve, I did

48:56

enjoy Armageddon Time. This

48:59

is Sarah. Today seeing the menu, a couple,

49:01

Anja Taylor, Joy, and Nicholas

49:03

Holt, traveled to a coastal island to eat

49:05

at an exclusive

49:08

restaurant where the chef, Ralph Fiennes, has prepared a lavish meal

49:10

with some shocking surprises. I've got

49:12

an annual skinny world unlimited cards

49:15

over a discounted price. of

49:17

a hundred and eighty eight quid. I can go to the cinema as

49:19

many times as I want. Oh, that's well worth it.

49:21

I like those those kind of things. Hundred and eighty

49:23

eight pound, how lovely. actually

49:26

says, bring up the bring

49:28

up the baked bean pizza. I want your views.

49:30

It's tempting. Any problem is being

49:32

lactose intolerant. We were talking

49:34

about what we were talking about, which involved the

49:36

oh, the the Christmas dinner

49:38

in a tin. The producer being all sloppy

49:40

about it. You couldn't possibly eat things

49:43

like that. That's probably what you'll find in the Ukrainian supermarkets.

49:45

I said, well, if it's in a tin,

49:47

it can be long lasting. It's got

49:49

everything in there. that's sort of good.

49:51

It's got the turkey, the cranberry sauce. Certainly, it doesn't have

49:53

his his yolksha pudding. But, you know, I we

49:56

could just make those separately,

49:58

I suppose. and then just pop it in

50:00

the saucepan. And and then

50:02

just say, I might go and look today for

50:04

it. I might go and look today or

50:06

breakfast in a tin, even

50:08

more exciting. which comes

50:09

with beans. All very

50:12

nice. There's an

50:14

army officer In the paper today

50:16

broke a curfew by going out for

50:18

pizza, whilst on the NATO front line

50:20

near the Russian border.

50:22

Captain James Scheira failed to return to

50:24

camp until twenty four minutes after a

50:26

newly imposed nine PM

50:28

deadline. Anyway, the

50:30

intelligence officers sorted back two

50:32

colleagues after having a picture in a

50:34

cafe. He was fined three days paid by the

50:36

commanding officer who'd moved

50:38

the cut off from ten thirty

50:40

PM in a disciplined

50:42

crackdown. Well, that's very naughty.

50:44

Very naughty. And so

50:46

he he made it explicitly clear the curfew was to change. He was

50:48

very irate about it.

50:50

Can't just nip out and go for a pizza,

50:52

can you? I guess, of course, you're addicted to put I mean,

50:54

could they make them

50:56

in camp? can't be that difficult to make. We know that they're they're

50:58

certainly dead dead cheap, which has

51:00

to be good. Matthew says it has to be

51:02

let the

51:04

gloves. imagine M and S would have a selection. Yeah. The Bluetooth doesn't. He

51:06

said, I don't want to be, like, you know,

51:08

a nineteen forties driver. you

51:12

know, I mean, like he remembers the nineteen forties.

51:14

Of course, he does. Of course, he does.

51:16

He's one of these people who's taken monkey glands.

51:19

and use sort of lot of face cream and stuff like

51:22

that. Steve, get yourself some Audrey

51:24

Hepburn type evening gloves, really cheap on Amazon.

51:26

I've got four pairs

51:28

says Cathy. And they keep your hands warm right up your elbows, but I always

51:30

feel enigmatic when I put them

51:32

on. I know those sort of

51:34

slightly thigh length boots,

51:36

isn't it? every time I see anybody wearing thigh length boots, I

51:38

automatically think they're working the reaper arm.

51:40

I never think anything else at all. They

51:42

just look

51:44

like it. or they've been in that

51:46

that program. Everybody talking about your king, key boots, king, key boots,

51:48

king, key boots. John says,

51:50

I don't like Christmas pudding, Christmas cake,

51:54

or men's pies. All that heavy fruit is just too sickly for

51:56

me. Give me victorious, bunch, or

51:58

trifle instead. I like

51:59

a trifle. like a

52:02

trifle. I told you they do a very good one in

52:04

Waitrose, which is rhubarb.

52:06

Now I don't know whether you could have rhubarb trifle

52:08

for Christmas, but I'm willing to give it a

52:10

go. I think that's quite a nice

52:12

idea. peers Morgan. Talks

52:14

about the fraudulent couple Harry and

52:16

Meghan. Real heroes like Archbishop

52:18

two two won that award. they've just

52:21

been given. Bobby Kennedy must be spinning in his grave, but of course, you know

52:23

that they they will accept anything at all. They're

52:25

so desperate. She doesn't need him

52:27

at the moment. he is

52:30

surplus to requirements, I'm afraid, whichever way you

52:32

look at it. If they'd let's

52:34

see. If if she

52:36

ditched him, which most people are seen to be predicting. And he comes crawling

52:38

back to the royal family. At the moment, they're running a build

52:40

through the House of Lords so that he never gets anywhere

52:42

near the throne in

52:44

this country. or could ever

52:46

be a stand in. Him and

52:48

Andrew, Charles has cracked the whip and

52:50

said, nope. You know,

52:52

perhaps he's writing and biting the hand

52:54

at feeds. you know, little no mark Harry, you

52:56

know, who without his royal connections wouldn't have

52:58

amounted to anything at

53:00

all. Meats lonely

53:02

actress who targeted him in the first place. And the

53:04

rest is the sales history. You know, they've

53:06

been a big house. You know, they they keep

53:08

going. We're just ordinary people. No,

53:11

you're not. Audrey people don't take private planes. Aldrey people

53:13

don't start preaching to people thinking that you

53:15

know what you're talking about. And if you ever heard

53:17

her dreary podcast,

53:20

My Godfathers, Does she talk for the world? She's not doesn't even let people get an

53:22

edge where it's word

53:24

in. Really bad. She's very dull,

53:26

very uninteresting.

53:28

but and she thinks she's a duchess, which is even more funny, I'm afraid,

53:30

because she's short, ain't. Other

53:32

stories which I'm running in the papers

53:34

today, it's all about, you know, England's

53:37

football and how marvelous it is. But of course, if you

53:40

don't like football, you

53:42

wouldn't be remotely interested. There's literally about

53:44

six pages in each of the papers.

53:46

millions work from home to watch England's opener. Did they? Did they? I don't

53:49

think they did. Did you did you

53:51

stay at home watching

53:53

England's opener? No. of

53:55

course not. Also,

53:58

the deadly

53:59

cost of axing A

54:01

and E

54:02

weight targets. Some

54:04

people there was somebody who died the other day waiting. They

54:06

had a stroke, and the ambulance was

54:08

so late turning up that they died.

54:11

That's what we can't have. People

54:14

didn't vote me out, says

54:16

Scarlet. I was just

54:18

the underdog. She says she's too low profile. I would admit you are

54:20

very low profile. Nobody knows who you

54:22

are. Nobody knows who I think

54:23

it is.

54:26

new coat, I

54:27

can tell. Yeah. What does it? What does it

54:29

say on it? What does

54:32

it? Columbia. or you've nicked it

54:34

from a film company. What's going on

54:36

here? Honestly, I'm surrounded

54:38

by shoplifters. I've

54:41

got to buy another coat. This one's nice, but friend of mine said

54:43

the other day said, isn't it a bit too warm? I said,

54:45

listen in this way that you need a coat to keep you

54:47

warm. You live out in the

54:49

countryside, freezing cold. freezing cold. Scarlet was

54:52

devastated to learn about Johnny Irwin

54:54

diagnosed with terminal cancer.

54:56

Johnny said he's

54:58

been given six months to live, and that was

55:00

two years ago. So we don't know where it is at the moment. We're

55:02

not too sure, but we've always wished him the very

55:04

best. When do you see the picture of OT Mabusi?

55:08

You I'm sorry. You know that it's a

55:10

it's a dummied up picture because it just doesn't

55:12

doesn't look right. And My

55:15

friend Chris knows what the answer is. You

55:18

are such what?

55:20

I know we're not telling I'm not telling

55:22

the producer, Chris. I have to

55:24

be honest, I've given him clues,

55:27

given him clues, but because we were

55:29

all out, Chris, me,

55:32

and James and Will.

55:35

And so we all know what it is.

55:37

We all know what it is. But

55:39

it's driving him mad, Chris, because he doesn't,

55:42

you know, he's he's come up with every

55:44

name he can think of, and not one of

55:46

them is correct, which is great. I love

55:48

it. And he also doesn't have access to

55:50

my phone. And somebody

55:52

said led says, is mister O'Brien specialist

55:54

subject Brexit?

55:58

No. Surprisingly. Surprisingly. Ed

56:00

in Brighton says I remember every detail of the

56:02

day Kennedy was assassinated. I was in

56:04

the fourth grade teacher sent us home. My mother

56:06

was doing laundry in the basement. I told her she

56:08

cried and cried. I saw the

56:11

I watched the assassination of

56:13

Kennedy. And then they brought out a

56:15

book, can you believe, on the

56:17

autopsy pictures. They had

56:19

the autopsy pictures of

56:22

him where they'd taken off the top

56:24

of his head and

56:26

and had a had a look inside. Oh, it

56:28

was quite something. I thought the interesting

56:30

thing was Kennedy's

56:32

wife who

56:33

turned up in

56:34

the blood spattered suit. She didn't want to change

56:37

it. She wanted to keep it old. She was

56:39

it was quite calculating. quite calculating. But of course, the one

56:41

thing she never had, Jackie Kelly, was

56:43

any money. They they didn't

56:46

have any money at all. So she ended

56:48

up marrying Aristotle

56:50

Bonasas, who was a Greek shipping

56:53

billionaire. And he

56:55

gave her everything everything everything.

56:58

The wedding was fantastic.

57:00

People were flown in from around the world because

57:02

he'd always he needed that credibility

57:04

to marry somebody. They did they did very

57:06

good book. called the

57:08

beauty queen, written by

57:10

Jacqueline Suzanne. I think it was

57:12

Jacqueline Suzanne. And it was

57:14

about that And on the on the

57:16

night of the of the wedding, she was waiting in the bedroom

57:18

as beauty queen for these

57:21

wizzened old man to come in and make love to and he said, okay, see you

57:24

tomorrow morning. And she went, what?

57:26

He went, I have a mistress.

57:28

He said, I don't I'm not

57:30

interested of any merit you for the for the

57:32

position. Burton Ernie, your

57:34

listeners, Goldfish, were named after Burton Ernie

57:36

from Sesame Street, who themselves were named

57:40

after. Named after the

57:42

two policemen, and it's a

57:44

wonderful life. Why? So says

57:45

my friend, Chris, as it

57:46

was Jim Henson's favorite film.

57:49

Or we learned something

57:51

new every day. Every

57:54

day. Things again. So

57:58

yeah. Burton Nearly. The listener's Goldfish. Burton

58:00

Nearly from Sesame Street were named after two

58:02

policemen, and it's a wonderful I'm

58:04

loving my Christmas self. Somebody said the other day, they

58:06

wrote to me and said, is it too early to watch Christmas

58:08

films? Never too early. Never too

58:10

early to watch Christmas films and to get

58:12

into the into the spirit of it, which I'm

58:14

sure you will be enjoying, but meanwhile the

58:16

producer just sort of drives

58:18

himself insane think

58:20

what James O'Brien's specialist topic

58:22

is going. I don't think you'd guess it in a million years.

58:24

It's only because my friend, Chris knows it,

58:26

and I know it that we're keeping

58:28

it quiet. because it would just

58:30

because it because it annoys you, I'm even happier.

58:32

The fact because I thought because if

58:34

if you knew about it, we'd never hear the end of it. No.

58:36

I knew what it was. Can Chris give you clues?

58:38

No, absolutely not. Absolutely

58:40

not. I'm not allowing that.

58:42

I'm putting my foot down.

58:45

What's

58:45

this? As what is being head of Sage, the king,

58:47

has an ambitious forty five million pound

58:49

plant to save a

58:52

stately home. This is Danfries house. We all know about Danfries

58:54

house. And so he's he's got a

58:56

plan to sort of to keep

58:58

it going. sure

59:00

you can afford to do it because he inherited all his mother. They didn't pay

59:02

inheritance tax. Did they? And I think she

59:04

left about six hundred million. Do you think

59:07

send to a bank statement every so often with

59:09

six hundred million written on it. And

59:11

she goes, somebody's bought Satsumas.

59:13

When did they buy Satsumas? got a

59:15

thing today. Perhaps somebody can help me on this because I don't know.

59:17

I was going to have a I was looking

59:19

through my my

59:22

banking online. and

59:24

you can sort of move money about and

59:26

pay bills and all the rest of it. And a

59:28

thing came up on the front of it.

59:30

And I remember thinking that's interesting, but I didn't know what it meant. And

59:32

wonder if it's gonna put it up

59:34

now. Probably won't don't know. It won't

59:37

but it said that they're changing RBS

59:41

in in February of next year

59:43

or something. And I can't remember what

59:45

it what it is. They were doing

59:47

something. And I remember thinking, oh, that's interesting. But what

59:49

does it mean? I think it was someone to

59:51

do with paying money in or paying money

59:54

out or whatever it

59:56

is. It'll be something confusing. I

59:58

spend a lot of lot of

1:00:00

time. Steve says, actually, come on, let's

1:00:02

be honest. You would sneak out for a crusty bacon roll and some ice

1:00:04

cream if you were in the army and still

1:00:06

manage a podcast before getting caught. Oh,

1:00:08

well, you

1:00:10

never mentioned crusty bacon roll. I saw some the other day in

1:00:12

Aldi. I went in there to get

1:00:14

some some small

1:00:16

items. And and

1:00:19

they had crusty bread rolls and

1:00:21

I love crusty bread rolls because

1:00:23

they're so the trouble is you break the things open or cut

1:00:25

them in half and they're so messy. But the time you

1:00:27

put butter on and some cheese and

1:00:30

and pickle and a a

1:00:32

delicious. Audi bakery is very good. You know, they

1:00:34

do all sorts of

1:00:36

nice cakes. also, but it was the it was the bread rolls I looked at. I

1:00:38

remember thinking, very nice.

1:00:40

because I I tend to find if I have

1:00:42

a McDonald's, I know it's a bread roll,

1:00:44

but it's not the sort of bread roll I'm familiar

1:00:46

with it. They sort of they're a little bit different. They're

1:00:48

like air rated. You know, they sort of

1:00:50

pump them full of air. You can buy

1:00:52

machines that put the put the zing back into a bread roll,

1:00:54

you know, for cafes who've got sort of,

1:00:56

yeah, it's it's a it's a

1:00:58

bread refresher. I

1:01:00

think, because something like that. Yeah. It's so, you know, you can make your bread go a

1:01:02

little bit further. I think, you know, if you bite, you put it

1:01:04

in the freezer. I've got a toast.

1:01:06

I've got a drool and you

1:01:08

can put the the bread in when it's frozen and and it

1:01:11

cooks, so you can keep it in

1:01:13

your refrigerator or in the

1:01:15

freezer

1:01:15

boat. Sorry. What? I'm

1:01:17

doing

1:01:17

a break. I'm just explaining about

1:01:19

the Juliet. Just because you're not

1:01:21

interested, honestly. This is

1:01:24

LVC

1:01:25

with Steve Allen. Steve,

1:01:28

real thermal and fifteen Tog duvet

1:01:30

weather now. On the upside, I

1:01:32

tried one of those Morrison cream mince

1:01:34

pies I couldn't keep it to the weekend out

1:01:37

of date anyway. And man oh man

1:01:39

it was delicious, says Kim, I knew it

1:01:41

would be. I knew it would be. These are the

1:01:43

mince pies which we've seen have got the thick

1:01:45

cream in there and they just

1:01:47

look absolutely delicious.

1:01:50

Very nice indeed. And been in thorough,

1:01:52

Bought the pack of four had the last one for the breakfast. He said, is that

1:01:55

bad? Worse still had a shot of Brandy to

1:01:57

warm me up this morning.

1:01:59

Don't get

1:02:01

into that habit. Please don't get into

1:02:03

the habit of drinking in the morning. Not a bad but

1:02:05

I don't want to be responsible for that. I don't mind

1:02:07

you eating Morrison's cream

1:02:10

mince pies. Apparently Roger

1:02:12

says Costco have a coat that looks like a shirt,

1:02:14

but it's so thick and warm it'll keep anyone

1:02:16

gooey. I've got some wearing out the thick shirt

1:02:18

this morning. I've had this for years. It's an old and Spencer's

1:02:20

one. It's in very good condition and it

1:02:22

still washes and irons properly and it's

1:02:24

it's warm. It's very warm. So this

1:02:27

is the Oh, there you go. Available in big and

1:02:29

tall. It's Costco nineteen ninety nine

1:02:31

in Costco. That's very

1:02:33

cheap as no. very

1:02:35

cheap. So I don't know if it's if it's on

1:02:37

sale here. There you go.

1:02:40

Sherpa lined. It's obviously the

1:02:42

latest fashioner, isn't

1:02:44

it Hollister? selling it varies in price from about forty

1:02:46

eight forty five pounds up to about fifty

1:02:48

five pounds. Does look very

1:02:50

cozy, but not for you, I'm

1:02:52

afraid Elliott. because

1:02:54

it's expensive. And it's not for

1:02:56

you. You just have to sort of sit there and take

1:02:58

the flag. That's what it is. And

1:03:01

also catch cold. you know, which is very entertaining for all of

1:03:03

us, you know, because you you can't buy these things. The

1:03:06

trouble is every time you go out and buy some of these things, you bought

1:03:08

it on a credit card, then you kind

1:03:10

of forget that you put it on a

1:03:12

credit card, and that's when it all goes a bit. Peer

1:03:14

shaped doesn't hurt you, sir. And then the bills come

1:03:16

in. Talking to God, Peer shaped, here he is,

1:03:18

Elton John. back in LA and

1:03:20

playing a stadium. He did it in

1:03:22

seventy five and he's

1:03:24

just got one more gig

1:03:26

on his bucket list. but

1:03:28

this this yellow brick road farewell tour.

1:03:30

He returned to the Dodgers Stadium in

1:03:33

LA. I think he just likes I

1:03:35

told you he likes performing. He doesn't know what

1:03:37

us to do. Like

1:03:39

me, I like performing.

1:03:41

You know, I can't think of anything nice. You wake

1:03:43

up in the morning. You have

1:03:46

a nice mince pie with thick double

1:03:48

cream in it, you know, a

1:03:50

couple of brandies, little piece

1:03:52

of toast, you know, then you get yourself ready, then

1:03:55

you come into work, and you sit here

1:03:57

for three hours, then you go home and you buy some

1:03:59

potato, what falls on the

1:03:59

way home? How

1:04:01

complete is your life? I can't believe you

1:04:03

don't need anything else, even presence.

1:04:06

Even

1:04:06

presence at Christmas, I told you yesterday, I'm not

1:04:08

particularly bothered about presence at Christmas. I do

1:04:10

like presence. Don't get me wrong. But I

1:04:12

said, but no don't. Please. Please don't

1:04:15

buy me anything, please. Gary and

1:04:17

Space says this talk of Burton Ernie

1:04:19

just made me remember Zig and Zig.

1:04:21

with Chris Evans on the big breakfast,

1:04:23

whatever happened to them. I don't

1:04:25

know

1:04:25

what ever happened to Zig and Zag. They

1:04:27

were the savior, weren't they? Or was

1:04:29

it somebody who who of AM? Oh, Roland

1:04:31

Rat was a c savior of that,

1:04:33

but I think Zig and Zig

1:04:35

with Chris Evans. on

1:04:39

the big breakers. They they were sort of the savior of weren't they as well? Look

1:04:41

at Chris Everett. Look at, honestly, he

1:04:43

looked about five. Cuddle didn't

1:04:45

look so young. The

1:04:48

lads who sold out on Ireland, Ziggin Zags RTE exit called,

1:04:51

oh, so they'd already been on

1:04:53

television. I didn't know that.

1:04:56

I did not know that. Interesting. When you look back at all these all

1:04:58

these different oh, does that map the man behind

1:05:00

Zig and Zag? Oh, wow.

1:05:03

you know, you never see these people do you. Look

1:05:05

at that Anton Deck.

1:05:08

Anton

1:05:08

Deck with Chris Webb. Look at them.

1:05:09

They look about five

1:05:12

years old. You tend to forget how long all people have in the I

1:05:14

mean, I'm a I'm a mere novice.

1:05:16

And that Donald Trump,

1:05:18

Donald Trump

1:05:20

met Zigginzag. Wow.

1:05:22

I don't know what ever happened to them actually. I really don't. But

1:05:24

so what what ever happened to Zig and

1:05:26

Zag? Do we know? Can we find out

1:05:29

if there's a Zika on. Put your

1:05:31

finger at the Ziggensag website, you know, dedicated

1:05:33

to the, you know, to the hero worship

1:05:35

of the twosome who sort of

1:05:37

say breakfast television. the

1:05:40

think it was Chris Evans who say breakfast

1:05:42

television because he had the trick you

1:05:44

see. The trick is

1:05:46

being awake. The trick is being wide awake first thing in the

1:05:48

morning, which reminds me of Timmy Mallett again

1:05:50

for some reason. I don't know why. Oh,

1:05:52

because he did the wide awake

1:05:54

club. That's right.

1:05:56

That's why. Oh, Elton John wants to do one

1:05:58

more gig in front

1:05:59

of the pyramids.

1:06:01

In front of the pyramids,

1:06:03

but it was banned He's

1:06:06

been banned apparently

1:06:08

from Egypt in twenty ten for

1:06:10

comments about the treatment of gay people in the

1:06:12

Middle East. said the only place I've ever been

1:06:14

bound out right is Egypt. He said, which is

1:06:17

a shame we've always wanted to play in front of

1:06:19

the pyramids, so no chance of that is the

1:06:21

So can zig and zag? What do you know? I

1:06:23

don't know why it takes so

1:06:25

long. Regent the legal thing. Well, they don't

1:06:27

I mean, they're puppets

1:06:29

What do you

1:06:29

mean? What do you mean

1:06:30

the legal thing? Their puppets, they don't

1:06:33

exist, their bits of fabric.

1:06:35

Don't tell me they've got legal

1:06:37

rights says at home time they've got, you know, legal rights,

1:06:39

we could all be banged up for

1:06:41

mentioning them. Why why did they finish?

1:06:43

Do we know? Or what are

1:06:45

they doing now? Are they doing show? Are they doing Christmas? They're doing pantomime?

1:06:48

Zigginsag came back in twenty

1:06:50

twenty. Alright. They came back in

1:06:52

twenty twenty.

1:06:54

Right? They on on what? On on I

1:06:57

know what RT is. It's the Irish television.

1:06:59

But what was the show called? They they're

1:07:01

they're obviously doing a show. on

1:07:04

there. Were they doing the same sort of thing? Were

1:07:08

they? because I'm I'm waiting for

1:07:10

Christmas. weekend family show called

1:07:13

Adein. Oh, right. Okay. They were the same ziggin zag

1:07:15

that we had in this country. Alright. So that's what

1:07:17

they're doing at the moment. Is it?

1:07:19

Oh, how lovely?

1:07:21

the How does There are also two

1:07:23

there are two clowns, or there are two

1:07:25

clowns. There were two clowns in Australia called

1:07:27

Zig and Zag as well,

1:07:29

and they disappeared they

1:07:31

were convicted of something. Oh, right. Okay. They

1:07:34

were convicted of something we don't want to talk about.

1:07:36

And that was in Australia, a cold

1:07:38

chicken zag. How

1:07:39

bizarre? How

1:07:41

bizarre? Shane knows all about that?

1:07:43

Shane knows all about that. But

1:07:45

meanwhile, back in the

1:07:48

real world, Boshes here again. Here we go. Once he's having for

1:07:50

breakfast this morning, it'll be something

1:07:52

bizarre like roast pigeon

1:07:54

or something. but it says

1:07:56

me and big lengths are on my way up north to my

1:07:58

factory where I make all the mattresses

1:08:00

this morning in Yorkshire. So unfortunately no

1:08:02

cafe this morning for us. However,

1:08:04

good news, My wife, Shaneade, has made a

1:08:06

spaghetti bolognese that we'll be tucking into

1:08:08

in the next hour or so. Nothing better

1:08:10

than a proper bit of grub to set you up for

1:08:12

the day.

1:08:14

You're not eating that in a truck, surely not spaghetti bolognese.

1:08:16

That's just too much. Too much. So

1:08:18

he's going up to Yorkshire to see

1:08:22

the mattresses way. make of that what you will. I love it. I love it.

1:08:25

We thought yesterday's breakfast looked really good because

1:08:27

it was what was it. I

1:08:29

tell you what I do like. That was a

1:08:31

it mashed potato and and gravy it's a

1:08:34

gravy thing that the producers got a thing

1:08:36

for. That's

1:08:38

what it's what he likes. Save, I was eleven when

1:08:40

JFK was assassinated. I remember that whole

1:08:42

weekend very well. I made a scrapbook

1:08:44

of newspaper clippings from that weekend, which

1:08:46

I still have watching the news voltage.

1:08:49

Still makes me cry, says Carol. Yes, we all remembered it. It just it was

1:08:51

it was unheard of, wasn't it,

1:08:55

really? Nobody'd ever you know,

1:08:57

done anything like that, not many. There have been various assassination attempts

1:08:59

on American presidents over the years. I've

1:09:02

got so many people running around

1:09:04

it. don't

1:09:06

think they knew what was going on. But

1:09:08

I've watched so many programs on it and then,

1:09:10

you know, Jack Ruby and all the rest of

1:09:12

it. But it was the book that came out

1:09:14

on the autopsy. which I thought was amazing. So you saw him

1:09:16

on in the archery with the top of his head

1:09:19

they they'd taken off. I think my brother

1:09:21

had it. I remember thinking

1:09:23

good lord above. is it not something

1:09:25

called privacy? It's like donating your body to science, isn't it? I mean, I've

1:09:28

I've donated my my

1:09:30

body. Unfortunately, science wants it.

1:09:33

which is a bit disappointing. They've got loads of

1:09:35

old things like me, so they don't do anything else. But, you know, if if I die, I mean, I'm gonna say to you, if there's anything

1:09:38

you really need, just take it.

1:09:40

What?

1:09:42

lot So matter with that, I'm just being caring.

1:09:44

Somebody might want parts of my body

1:09:46

to, you know, if they're really looking

1:09:49

for a laugh, and they weren't going to the circus that

1:09:51

year. They can go for a bit of Steve

1:09:54

Allen's body. Imagine somebody saying, I've got Steve

1:09:56

Allen's eyes. or

1:09:58

something like that or I've got Steve Allen's things, you know, like arms

1:09:59

or legs or

1:10:01

something. I don't mind

1:10:03

what they wanna take it

1:10:05

and make any difference around it. I'm not gonna have

1:10:07

much use to it. I'm gonna be sitting on a cloud,

1:10:09

aren't I in a little white outfit with this mist swirling

1:10:12

around me? I'll be the

1:10:14

one sitting outside KFC waiting for it to open. Going come

1:10:16

on. hanging

1:10:19

around here, honestly. tough being an angel. Mike on the narrowboat, he

1:10:22

says, what do you think of my latest footwear,

1:10:24

Steve? All you need is a patent

1:10:26

leather pencil skirt and peroxide blonde beehive wig.

1:10:29

all you need, how lovely over there. I'm not sure about though. See, I couldn't get away with stuff like that. I

1:10:31

did buy I told you years ago, I went into a

1:10:34

shoe shop in the high street. Is it Russel and

1:10:36

Bromley? the shoe shop in high

1:10:38

street is it russell i'm bromley Russell and Bromley do do shooting whom you

1:10:40

don't know do you. Don't know. But they they do

1:10:42

shoes, but they're they're very expensive. But I didn't know

1:10:44

they were very expensive. I just

1:10:47

sold this pair of shoes. and

1:10:49

I liked them. And so I ended up buying

1:10:51

another pair of them, different style. And it the

1:10:53

old thing about well, two old

1:10:55

things. First of all, no

1:10:57

many people don't say anything about your

1:10:59

footwear. I'm more apparent here. And Holly Harris, her husband, Matt,

1:11:02

said to me, love the shoes, Steve. And I remember

1:11:04

thinking, first

1:11:07

time everybody's ever noticed my shoes, which are very

1:11:09

odd. But when I bought them,

1:11:11

they didn't have a price on them, but

1:11:13

I thought how much can they cost I

1:11:15

thought sixty quid, seventy quid. So I bought the two pairs,

1:11:17

which came in with a grand total of just

1:11:19

under eight hundred

1:11:22

pounds. they were about 395 each. And

1:11:24

I remember that, of course, you

1:11:26

can't not buy them. You have

1:11:28

to buy them. You don't look poor,

1:11:31

do you? you you know you you can't then say to them. I'll

1:11:33

I'll just take the one pair

1:11:35

because they know they

1:11:37

know that you can't afford to buy them. I had it in a

1:11:39

in a clothing shop once they

1:11:42

had some Comme d'Gartart

1:11:44

shirts, which are very nice. And I picked

1:11:46

out two, one in blue and one in

1:11:48

pink. And the one in pink is still hanging in

1:11:50

my wardrobe because I can't wear it because it was bought years and years ago, because this thing,

1:11:52

and they were two

1:11:55

hundred pounds a shirt and I remember

1:11:57

thinking, well, I'll buy them and

1:11:59

he went, oh, be four and something Steve.

1:11:59

Steve, hello,

1:12:01

on LDC.

1:12:04

Morning apparently, Kim

1:12:06

says, I've still got my zig and zag puppets that

1:12:08

I found in my Christmas stocking way back in

1:12:10

the nineties, Steve. They sit on top of me

1:12:12

bed and the boys. have a sniff

1:12:14

and leave them alone. They're well

1:12:17

warmed. Well warmed. Gilbert the alien was my TV

1:12:19

favorite says Taffy knife from pumped

1:12:22

to clean in South Wales. Tardy. Pumped

1:12:24

to clean. Yeah. I remember

1:12:26

I vaguely remember Gill about the

1:12:28

alias, but I can't remember very much

1:12:30

of it, I'm afraid. Gary, says Steve Zig

1:12:33

and Zag started out on Archie and appeared

1:12:35

on a kids TV show called

1:12:37

Demsey Den, also had a regular radio slot on

1:12:40

the morning show, which I like.

1:12:42

Simon the Fishmonger says cold this

1:12:44

morning in the market, got the heated

1:12:46

seats in the van drinking my freezing isn't only got flower shop

1:12:48

or a fish shop, you've

1:12:50

got to keep it cold. You've

1:12:55

got to keep it cold. Do you remember

1:12:57

Tangerine Tucker says Glen? Yeah. They

1:12:59

were they were

1:13:02

koala bears. They they were puppets, Tinger and Tucker.

1:13:04

I remember very well. I can't do

1:13:06

you remember Olliebeek? It was very good actually.

1:13:09

But apparently, the characters repair a furry

1:13:11

ex extra terrestrial swims from the planet's Zolg, made the television

1:13:13

debut on the twenty second

1:13:16

of September nineteen ninety seven on RT's

1:13:18

Dempsey Den. Two years later, they won

1:13:20

a of awards for

1:13:22

TV personalities in the year. They are male and Irish. Oh, lovely. And Shane says, I remember

1:13:24

Zig and Zag in the

1:13:26

nineteen sixties. There were two clowns

1:13:30

guess, your ones were taken off the

1:13:32

air. Our ones were still going because that's

1:13:34

what the producer got a little bit

1:13:37

confused about. Leigh says just hearing the

1:13:39

news about MPs being able to claim expenses for staff Christmas parties from taxpayer. It's disgusting. Taxpayers

1:13:45

can't afford to feed themselves, heat the homes will pay for their own

1:13:47

Christmas parties, but are expected to pay for MPs to have a knees

1:13:49

up at our expense. What

1:13:51

a joke? Yes. That's

1:13:54

what we said. That's what we said

1:13:56

exactly the same. I don't want to pay

1:13:58

for their Christmas parties. The money they're earning,

1:14:00

thank you very much indeed, not I think

1:14:03

that's just absolutely the worst thing ever. You

1:14:05

know, that we we just, you know, it

1:14:07

just goes from to worse. Doesn't it? They

1:14:09

sort of tell you all these different things. and

1:14:11

we're expected to get, oh, that's alright. That's okay. Yeah. Why

1:14:13

don't we'll we'll we'll we'll pay

1:14:15

for your entertainment. Goodness.

1:14:17

So you can honestly. So Elton and John wants to

1:14:19

go to Egypt to perform in front of

1:14:22

the pyramids, but he can't. He says,

1:14:24

I'm not gonna go to

1:14:26

Russia. in the putin era and not mention human

1:14:28

rights and what's happening to gay community there.

1:14:30

I owe it to people like that. Yeah.

1:14:33

Exactly. I mean, it's it's, you know, David Beckham. I'm surprised

1:14:35

actually that Elton hasn't said anything about Dave Beckham, he's very close

1:14:37

friend. They've been on holiday

1:14:39

loads of times. Yet

1:14:42

he hasn't talked about taking that golden

1:14:44

shilling from the Qatari government.

1:14:47

No mention of that at all

1:14:49

from Elton John. So come on Elton.

1:14:51

Put your finger out. say something, please,

1:14:53

play something. So Tom Parker's widow Kelsey with this

1:14:56

man who's

1:14:59

well I'm gonna go into it. It's too depressing event.

1:15:01

And Mel b

1:15:04

saddled up for the ride

1:15:06

of her life in the wild

1:15:08

west To mark the achievements of

1:15:10

English Explorer, Isabella Bird. She was joined by Ruby Wax and

1:15:15

Emily Erittak. they went to America. There's so many programs done by celebrities now, aren't they? They say,

1:15:17

oh, why don't you have a program? Tell us about Ireland

1:15:19

or tell us about, you know, the docs or tell

1:15:21

us about this and that. And they all go off

1:15:23

and do there. their

1:15:26

little programs. And most of them are just bloody boring. They really are. They're like travel documentaries.

1:15:32

Who cares? It's

1:15:34

like, you know, whenever you see the travel program on the television, they sort of show you these who

1:15:36

cares? I

1:15:41

don't really care. In fact, there's two two blokes at the moment. They've obviously

1:15:43

got a company that promotes cruises and they sit there stumbling through

1:15:45

the auto queue quite badly

1:15:47

on many occasion. all

1:15:51

they're doing is basically just flogging cruises. And this one, they go,

1:15:53

they sit there with a big smile on their

1:15:55

face looking at the cameras.

1:15:58

You know, This one is here starting prices from

1:16:00

two thousand nine hundred and ninety nine and

1:16:02

you go through the Panama Canal, then you

1:16:04

end up at SUI, so you do this,

1:16:06

so and I sort of nodded off by that time. And they've got onboard. They've

1:16:08

got all sorts of things. And look, yeah, every cruise

1:16:10

ship's got exactly the same. The only thing that's

1:16:12

different is sometimes they've got a zip

1:16:14

wire. Sometimes they've got an ice skating ring.

1:16:16

Sometimes they they've got, you know, some people who you can dive into

1:16:18

from a height of ten miles or something. You know,

1:16:21

the food hall is very

1:16:23

good on cruise ships. if

1:16:25

you've ever been on a cruise, you should

1:16:27

go one because no. Not for you. It's

1:16:30

not for your age group. You know, the sort

1:16:32

of thing you'd be going on would

1:16:34

be a booze cruise. Certainly wouldn't be anything like the sort of sophisticated

1:16:36

affairs that we get. I

1:16:38

should imagine you've even got a

1:16:41

dinner jacket. Have you? You mean? Have you got have you got dinner jacket? I

1:16:43

don't believe you. I don't believe a word of it. I believe you

1:16:45

might have your father's or something

1:16:47

like that that he lens

1:16:50

you every so often. You got a dinner jacket. occasion an

1:16:52

award for the Steve Allen show.

1:16:54

That would be it. Wouldn't it?

1:16:58

And unfortunately, Steve can't be here today to

1:17:00

his his producer. Boom. Boom.

1:17:02

You can imagine. Can't you? I

1:17:06

like that idea. Steve can't make it. A

1:17:08

bit like the Oscars. I'm totally sorry, but so

1:17:10

and so can't make it here. So we've we've

1:17:12

sent on somebody else to come and pick up

1:17:14

the award for him. I love it. I love it. So

1:17:16

we all know we should stop

1:17:18

smoking, drink alcohol, new moderation, engage,

1:17:22

and plenty of exercise. But apparently there's loads of other things. If

1:17:24

you, you know, doom scrolling is

1:17:26

not good, let's sleep. I do

1:17:29

like a sleep. I don't know why. I know it's an old

1:17:32

thing to say. I do like a sleep. You know,

1:17:34

getting home and you sort of you climb into bed

1:17:36

at the end of the day. And

1:17:38

I do look forward to that moment. You sort of climb anything, oh, it's just lovely. You just drift away. got

1:17:41

sent to

1:17:44

lovely book. The other day, which

1:17:46

for people in London, you I mean, you need this book. You really need this book. And you know

1:17:48

why because we've

1:17:51

talked about it. On numerous

1:17:53

occasions, I'm telling you what the book is. How many

1:17:56

what? I'm not

1:17:58

telling you

1:17:59

now, no. No.

1:18:01

It's about Batter Sea Fund Fair from nineteen

1:18:03

fifty one to nineteen seventy four, and

1:18:08

it's it's brilliant. It's by

1:18:10

Robert Preedy and Nick Laster. And I don't know where you

1:18:12

get it from. I can't remember

1:18:15

actually, but you must verify. It's

1:18:17

full of photographs of what batterseifam fair used to look like. And there was a haunted

1:18:20

manor. There was

1:18:22

a treat. It really

1:18:24

amped absolutely

1:18:26

for for people who live in London,

1:18:28

for people who live in

1:18:30

London who remember battersea funfair,

1:18:33

this will invoke No end of

1:18:35

memories for you. So research had got

1:18:37

a part by amusement park fanatic,

1:18:40

Robert Predia, Nick

1:18:42

Lester. So, oh, I tell you what, you can find it here.

1:18:44

You could find it

1:18:46

here. It's joy land

1:18:49

books. dot com. Joyland

1:18:52

books dot com. It's ten ninety

1:18:54

nine and it's absolutely it's

1:18:56

not a big big

1:18:58

book. You know, it's about two hundred odd pages,

1:19:01

but it's got no end of

1:19:03

photographs. No end of photographs

1:19:05

in the history and

1:19:08

the showman. who who were

1:19:10

behind battersea funfair. The golden years, you know, back in nineteen fifty four, Harry Gray's

1:19:16

swirl chairs, Jay Ling's moon

1:19:18

rocket, John Crowls, Gallipas, double decker, two Peter Pan attractions,

1:19:23

really, really lovely It'll bring back great memories and

1:19:25

it's even got pictures of the wall of death, which everybody used to love.

1:19:27

It's a big

1:19:30

it's a round bin motorcycles start up at the bottom, come right up, they

1:19:32

go round the walls, clinging on sideways like that.

1:19:35

Wall of death, it was called.

1:19:39

But great book. Great book, Badnessy Fanfare. So go on

1:19:41

to that website, and you can

1:19:43

you can get a hold

1:19:45

of a copy. Joy

1:19:48

land books dot com and you'll find it

1:19:50

on there. You won't be disappointed. We like we like a thank you. We like a

1:19:52

good my

1:19:55

phone's got a mind of its own. You wouldn't believe I actually turn the volume down,

1:19:57

would you really? And yet it bounces back

1:19:59

to life. And

1:20:03

wait a It took over. Big breakfast. My friend Chris

1:20:05

tells me, I don't know where he gets his information from.

1:20:07

I have no idea. But from

1:20:09

channel four daily with a hundred

1:20:12

thousand viewers, It

1:20:14

was at over half a million. By

1:20:16

the end of the first week, over a million in

1:20:18

a couple of months, then it overtook GMTV

1:20:20

and hit two million a year later. Sighan

1:20:22

Zag were, however, a huge part of its

1:20:25

success, Mick and Kieran, were the

1:20:27

geniuses behind the puppet, so

1:20:30

identified as Shubak's aliens. Chris has

1:20:32

done his research on this one. He just

1:20:34

knows about these sort of things, which

1:20:37

is amazing. So that's that's what

1:20:39

it did. but it's like Roland wasn't he the savior of tvam. They had to bring

1:20:41

in a a puppet who was sort of he

1:20:43

was sort of a little bit gruff with all the

1:20:45

rest. I don't think the zig zag were a bit

1:20:48

more gentle. little

1:20:50

bit more gentle at Roland He was by David

1:20:56

Claridge. who also

1:20:58

did Moon Cat in Get Up and Go. He worked for Jim Henson. So that's why, but Roland

1:21:00

Rapp was sort of quite

1:21:02

quite controversial as if to remember.

1:21:07

He had a sidekick, and it was just you

1:21:10

know, I should imagine the poor

1:21:12

presenters. He was certainly superstar. He first

1:21:14

appeared in nineteen eighty three on the

1:21:16

television It was shed

1:21:18

vision, rat on the telly kind of thing. And and he just sort of took over. You can imagine the

1:21:20

presenter sitting there thinking

1:21:23

it's a bloody profit. But

1:21:28

still good, still good, and Zig and Zag as

1:21:30

well. Over the years, puppets have made a great

1:21:32

impact. and certainly my life

1:21:34

and sort of it's helped me working with the producer at the moment, you know, just to know how to treat people who

1:21:40

are wooden. you know, not to make a big

1:21:42

deal about it. But do you know what it's like when you sort of have somebody? He's he's he's

1:21:44

suffering a bit today.

1:21:46

And the reason he is

1:21:48

suffering is because he did something that

1:21:50

only the other day he told me he would never do. And so what he did, he went out and did it.

1:21:52

And and that sort

1:21:54

of been his is downfall.

1:21:57

And I've said to him, I've told

1:21:59

you before, like me, you know,

1:22:01

you cannot play away on a school day. Play

1:22:03

away on a school day, and

1:22:07

you suffer.

1:22:08

Ask anybody.

1:22:09

Ask Dane Margo

1:22:12

Fontaine. Bear Grylls apparently wonders

1:22:14

about his island wearing just a

1:22:16

kill He bought the island. It's quite

1:22:18

big. For ninety five thousand back in two thousand and

1:22:23

one, he says, I get this this canvas killed. He

1:22:25

said, I got on for eBay. I can get the wind around places where the wind

1:22:27

doesn't normally go. So

1:22:30

that's what it is. Lovely. Hugh

1:22:32

Dennis says he started his career in comedy after being hit

1:22:35

on the head by golf ball. Oh,

1:22:38

there you go. The actor and comedian, best known for the week and outnumbered,

1:22:40

was struck whilst playing around with friends

1:22:43

after finishing his a levels.

1:22:45

The six e

1:22:48

sixty. Wow. He said I

1:22:50

was on the green when my friend decided

1:22:52

to launch a lofted eight iron and it split my head

1:22:54

open. Oh, dear. I'm not I'm not too sure actually about

1:22:59

about golf. I know people like it's a it's a big

1:23:01

thing in essex. The boys of essex, yeah, play a

1:23:03

bit of golf. Get out

1:23:05

there, you know, somebody just sort of say. It's either

1:23:07

that we play football on a Sunday. Who can

1:23:09

be bothered? Who can be bothered? It's like

1:23:11

every time Wimbledon comes on the table, you can

1:23:13

guarantee the count all tennis courts are fully booked up for about

1:23:15

a year in advance. And when he gets out there

1:23:18

thinking they could be the next Martinez never at

1:23:20

love and, you

1:23:22

know, think it was her birthday recently. It might have been yesterday.

1:23:24

Pat sees as well yesterday, which I

1:23:26

mentioned before, so many happy returns to

1:23:28

her. We don't like to mention

1:23:30

people's ages after a certain age. fifteen because

1:23:32

there's no put because people just get depressed. They

1:23:34

go, she never ask people their age. I ask everybody. I

1:23:39

ask everybody. you know, how old I don't I'm not you. I don't really care. But

1:23:41

it's a sort of thing, you know, some people

1:23:43

sort of say, how old

1:23:45

are you then and you go, old enough. I don't even know what that means,

1:23:48

but I always say anyway just in

1:23:50

case there's a chance. Steve Malone on

1:23:52

LVC, text 84850

1:23:55

Mommy, ten to six is

1:23:57

the time Charlene White. So she was hurt by abusive messages

1:23:59

she received

1:23:59

when leaving

1:23:59

the jungle. She was branded bossy.

1:24:02

I don't remember that bit. But

1:24:04

anyway, She

1:24:06

said, yeah, it hurts, and yeah, it was a lot to come out

1:24:09

and be faced with, but I'm getting better

1:24:11

with it. I've said before, you

1:24:13

know, you do get people. It doesn't matter who

1:24:15

you are. Somebody will write you a letter, you know, purporting not

1:24:17

to like you or something like that. They're basically

1:24:19

people who are sick in the head. It's

1:24:21

not their fault. They don't have any

1:24:23

friends. They're very lonely. and they

1:24:25

generally operate independently, but they write under different names because they think they're being

1:24:27

really clever. But luckily now, the police are clamping

1:24:29

down on them and we're sending people

1:24:32

to prison. writing

1:24:35

anything abusive. And so I've always said, and I say

1:24:37

the same to Charlene White, I've said to everybody else

1:24:39

who gets anything like that, go

1:24:41

to the police. They could trace these people

1:24:44

very quickly, very quickly, and then they say,

1:24:46

do you want to prosecute? And the answer

1:24:48

is, yep. You

1:24:50

do. you do want to prosecute. You want to basically destroy

1:24:52

them. And it's not difficult to

1:24:54

do. It really isn't. So go

1:24:56

for it, Charlene. The trainer voted the most

1:24:59

iconic shoe in the past centuries. You know, I do not possess any trainers. don't I don't have trainers.

1:25:01

I just think, do you know why? I

1:25:03

can't be bothered with laces. I

1:25:07

cannot be bothered with laces. I've I

1:25:10

have

1:25:10

got a pair of Velcro

1:25:14

shoes. Yeah. What? What? They're

1:25:16

leather. I've got them brown and black.

1:25:18

What? Goodness. But listen, I'm at that age where

1:25:21

if I bend over,

1:25:23

I might stay there. I might never

1:25:25

be able to get back up again. I could be

1:25:27

doomed. Unfortunately, I mean, the ones I'm wearing the moment to call deck shoes. And I

1:25:30

like those. They're very

1:25:32

casual. very e sorry?

1:25:34

Sipponds. Yes. They have got laces in them, but they're permanent laces. They sort of they don't I

1:25:36

mean, you can undo them and tighten them

1:25:38

up again if you really want to.

1:25:42

I don't think I've got any shoes now in my current ensemble,

1:25:44

I call it an ensemble,

1:25:46

which I've got laces because

1:25:49

I I just

1:25:51

can't be bothered to put the I've been

1:25:53

known to fall over just putting shoes on. So it's gotta be easy. Apparently, these

1:25:55

are the top ten

1:25:58

shoes, number ten, ballet

1:26:00

pumps. You know,

1:26:02

this is they're made out

1:26:04

of satin and so you get those

1:26:06

ballet pumps very popular. Number nine, loafers.

1:26:10

Very nice. Number eight flip

1:26:12

flops. Oh, I saw some of the

1:26:13

other day. In fact,

1:26:14

I keep seeing people at the moment. In

1:26:17

shorts, in this weather. Is the matter

1:26:19

with people? Why would it be going around wearing shorts? And and here we go again, honestly.

1:26:21

It's just nonstop. It'll be

1:26:23

the short wearer. Oh,

1:26:27

Johnny Perry says, thank

1:26:28

you for mentioning me yesterday.

1:26:31

It turns out he

1:26:34

says that captain Sam Captain

1:26:36

Sam on BA two six double four was also listening

1:26:38

on the way to Gatwick. He says, I

1:26:41

gather you're very popular

1:26:43

in the aviation circles. Very

1:26:45

popular. It's very popular in the aviation circles.

1:26:47

Very popular. You know why? Because, you know, the time

1:26:49

that people are getting up in the morning and they're

1:26:52

going off to

1:26:55

the airport to work. You've got to be there in plenty of time. You've

1:26:57

got to check the aircraft over. But, you

1:26:59

know, you don't I

1:27:01

don't think people ever think that trolley dollies

1:27:04

and captains and, you know, assistant

1:27:06

captains or whatever they call them

1:27:08

nowadays. What do they call them? They

1:27:10

don't call them assistant captain Copart. That's that's

1:27:12

right. I don't think that they they sort of just get

1:27:14

in the plane and take off. They've got to go through their checks and it's all gonna be signed off and everything else. And

1:27:16

so because of the

1:27:19

hours that they start, They

1:27:21

end up listening to to speech radio. And why

1:27:23

not for goodness that everybody good choice? Oh, the ice creams arrive. We're

1:27:25

so excited. Thank

1:27:28

you. Vanilla. Oh,

1:27:31

there isn't a strawberry. I thought

1:27:33

you said I was having strawberry.

1:27:35

Oh, for goodness. I'll have

1:27:37

Vanilla. Where's Elizabeth? I'll have another.

1:27:39

Yeah. you. We have indulge this because

1:27:40

ice cream,

1:27:41

Ian, as he's

1:27:44

now known, suppliers.

1:27:46

Honestly, the producer said to me, said, what do

1:27:48

you want? So I said strawberry. I've got your

1:27:50

strawberry. You're so stoked. I honestly really

1:27:54

are. trying to get the lid off is my problem with this

1:27:56

thing. I can't. Do you know once you've got

1:27:58

to have you've got to have the strength

1:28:00

of ten men to get

1:28:02

this this lid off. I'm not doing very well at all. Done it. And if

1:28:04

there is a technique, isn't there? And I'm I'm not

1:28:06

very good with it, but we do like

1:28:11

ice cream in because at this time in the morning, the one thing you

1:28:13

need to calm your throat and

1:28:15

it's very good is

1:28:18

ice cold ice cream and Häagen

1:28:21

Dazs do these all these wonderful different flavors. An

1:28:23

ice cream, Ian, as he's delivering to

1:28:25

all the places

1:28:27

around London. Delicious. It's

1:28:30

very decadent, isn't it?

1:28:31

Very decadent. I used to

1:28:34

do a

1:28:34

program years ago called Friday

1:28:37

night, out. I think it was out or in or some, whatever it was. And

1:28:39

we would invite in a top London restaurant and they would come in and they would

1:28:41

cook for my

1:28:44

celebrity guests. and they would bring

1:28:46

some of the some of the hotels that we had in brought in ovens. Literally whole ovens brought

1:28:48

in and they were

1:28:51

cooking outside the studio And

1:28:53

these were ovens that were cold to

1:28:56

the touch, but when you put a metal

1:28:58

panel, it heated up.

1:28:59

These cold ovens induction And

1:29:01

we had the most amazing food, but unfortunately with all

1:29:03

the food, came the booze. And it

1:29:06

was in

1:29:07

our middle hour And we

1:29:09

started, I think, at seven or something. Anyway, between eight and nine,

1:29:11

it was food and drink. And they would leave

1:29:13

all the bottles that we hadn't

1:29:15

we hadn't drunk. I

1:29:19

mean, the crew loved every minute of it. The crew,

1:29:21

honestly. I mean, they use they we

1:29:23

got left bottles of

1:29:25

brandy and whiskeys and everything else, but we'd eaten the

1:29:27

food. So it was like a dinner party. But on the

1:29:29

radio, people used to ride you and go, oh, it sounds

1:29:32

fabulous. It sounds really nice. And

1:29:34

it's the same with the ice cream. We get very excited about a little pot

1:29:36

of ice cream because it's just you need it.

1:29:38

If you've been chatting away for ages and ages,

1:29:40

it's a kind of thing and it's

1:29:42

always at the right time you need just

1:29:44

at the end of the program so that you can I

1:29:46

mean, it was it was this because yesterday, Pori and got caught up in traffic in Acton.

1:29:51

and nothing worse than being caught up

1:29:53

in traffic and action. Other shoes, knee

1:29:55

length boots. knee

1:29:59

length boots. Maybe for women, I think sandals or no.

1:30:01

No. No. Never sandals. Never

1:30:03

sandals. Oh, no.

1:30:06

Nothing worse. It's an Australian thing. Australian

1:30:08

men wear sandals. It's

1:30:11

they just look wrong. You've seen

1:30:13

people in the in the west end

1:30:15

in SoHo walk around sandals. Oh, no.

1:30:17

No. No. Ankle boots at number five, brogues. Number

1:30:19

four, we like brogues. Platform

1:30:22

shoes at number three.

1:30:25

not as popular as

1:30:27

they used to be,

1:30:29

but still nice. Stilettos

1:30:32

number two, You like stilettos.

1:30:34

Alright. Of that

1:30:34

because all the girls you see in London

1:30:35

wearing their stilettos. basically

1:30:40

after they've been standing in a bar for most of

1:30:42

the night, they can't walk in these things. So they end up taking them

1:30:45

off and they

1:30:47

walk through puddles in their bare feet because they

1:30:49

haven't worn these shoes in. There's an art. We've seen people on the catwalks. They go out there.

1:30:51

They put their stilettos on

1:30:54

and they fall over. think Naomi

1:30:56

Campbell did, how we laughed. And I'm not at the misery, but

1:30:58

the fact she just fell over. It was funny. And you

1:31:01

see people I see people

1:31:03

all the time unless square.

1:31:05

Newsy bars said as well, girls walking out with these very

1:31:07

expensive shoes that they bought, which they can't walk in. So they'd rather

1:31:09

walk through the puddles and

1:31:12

all the poo from

1:31:14

the pigeons and all the rest of it. And don't think about it. So here's Max George admitting gap

1:31:16

with his partner never enters his mind. No.

1:31:18

Not much enters your mind does it really.

1:31:23

I should imagine. But she's managed to get pictures in the

1:31:26

in Hello Magazine. We don't know what he

1:31:28

does for

1:31:30

a living, actually. They're both competed on strictly in

1:31:32

twenty twenty. Seem undaunted by what people

1:31:34

think of their relationship. I couldn't

1:31:37

care less. don't think anybody I did an

1:31:40

instant survey. I'm afraid girls

1:31:42

and boys, and nobody really

1:31:44

cared about your relationship.

1:31:46

We just put it down to people who seek desperately

1:31:48

publicity. She's twenty one and he's

1:31:50

thirty four. But what he does

1:31:52

for a living, no idea. He was

1:31:54

in the wanted. Now he's not in the wanted. So shall find so

1:31:58

and whistle fine

1:31:59

out.

1:32:00

Christmas don'ts rather than Christmas dos

1:32:02

this year, parties facing a big decline on

1:32:05

whether people go for

1:32:07

their parties, pubs, Apparently,

1:32:10

fifth lower than the pre

1:32:12

pandemic levels. There's people used to go

1:32:15

to because most pubs have got a

1:32:17

room that they rent out and you

1:32:19

can have a party and They do catering and all

1:32:21

the rest of it. And it's quite nice. But this year, I think people are gonna be

1:32:23

cutting back a little bit. For the simple reason,

1:32:26

everything is so expensive.

1:32:28

I mean, we were looking the other day

1:32:30

at Gordon Ramsay's restaurant. Just the the bulk standard thing was about a hundred and fifty five quid per

1:32:35

person. And I thought, be closing those in the New Year. And

1:32:37

for Christmas, it was something like, what do we

1:32:39

work it out at?

1:32:43

Six hundred pounds. Seven hundred and fifty.

1:32:45

Oh, dude. Just drop my ice cream. I'll just drop my little spoon on the

1:32:47

table. Wasn't very clever. Was it

1:32:51

Steven? Never mind. So I'm very messy now. I was trying

1:32:53

to be all clever and eat the thing and then balance the spoon on the

1:32:55

end of my finger, and it didn't work.

1:32:57

But anyway, it doesn't matter. Yeah. We worked

1:33:00