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Global, leading Britain's converse

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nation with Steve Allen. Morning everybody.

0:58

Living free. So we don't need me to tell you that. That

1:00

would just be sort of preaching to the converted. Everything.

1:03

Of course, it's freezing, Steve. You must have said everything

1:05

to me this morning. Careful

1:07

when you get outside, it's snowing, and

1:09

it walked past you. It looked fantastic. then took

1:11

picture of it. Because when everything's covered with

1:13

a layer of snow, the chairs, the tables,

1:16

the fountain, the bushes, and everything out, it

1:18

looks amazing. It's so bright and

1:20

so white. Then you get out there and you

1:22

start slipping over everything. And of course, you

1:24

know, I had to get stuff out of the car which was

1:26

okay, but nearly fell over once.

1:28

That nearly fell over three times in

1:30

Lister Square because, again,

1:33

they've not gritted Lister Square. So consequently,

1:36

as you walk up past all the different

1:38

restaurants and restaurants which are still struggling

1:40

make a living, and they let people sit outside

1:43

for some people who Yeah. As if I know, what

1:45

sort of idiots will to sit outside in this weather.

1:47

It's case that I know it slipped over three times

1:49

because it's slush with the

1:51

ice underneath it and it's not good, but we

1:54

that state of the roads. You

1:56

need to know. So if you've got information

1:58

for us, we got information for you

1:59

and we will share it. Because that's

2:02

the only way. I mean, I can't believe that some people

2:04

have been sitting in a traffic jam for eight

2:06

hours or nine hours. I mean, I'd get

2:08

bored after an hour. But of course, you've got

2:10

to keep the car on the engine

2:12

on so you can get the the heat through.

2:15

I drove into town yesterday for

2:17

my obligatory Christmas

2:20

lunch. Well, it wasn't Christmas. It was it was breakfast

2:22

actually, and it was very nice. And and

2:26

I remember thinking that it was bitterly cold. You know,

2:28

you can feel it when it gets into your face.

2:30

And I put the heating on in the car. In

2:32

my car, Same as most peoples.

2:34

You can have the heating on it, either aims at your

2:36

face or at your body or at your feet

2:38

area and the seats are heated. And then the

2:40

only thing I've not got heated is the steering

2:42

wheel other people appeared to have, so I'm a

2:44

little bit miffed about that. But literally, it

2:46

got so hot. I had to turn it off, put the air conditioning

2:48

on. I was so hot in there, and

2:50

then somebody said, Is it cheaper

2:53

to to sit in the car or

2:55

drive around in the car than to put the heating

2:57

on at home? And I said, to be honest with

2:59

you, I'm really not worrying about the heating at

3:02

I'm really not. I've I don't have

3:04

the central heating on. I've just got a tower

3:06

heater which I bought in Costco, which loads

3:08

my friends are bought as well because it's relatively

3:11

inexpensive to run. And I put that on

3:13

for a few hours, takes the chill off anything.

3:15

Which isn't, you know, isn't isn't sort of too

3:17

too much of a worry. I'm not gonna sit there and hat

3:19

and coat. So I just sit there in a pair

3:21

of shorts and everything else and do. Just

3:24

do the normal things. Because I thought

3:26

to myself, that's my luxury. That's

3:28

my I appreciate not everybody has

3:31

that luxury. You know, and some people

3:33

go, kind of fall to what heating aunt, kind of fall

3:35

to do this. There's one woman. She's had to cancel

3:37

Christmas. She's in the papers today. And

3:39

the reason She's her dog's got

3:41

cancer, and she's just been given a nearly

3:43

nine thousand pound bill by the vets.

3:46

So Christmas for her is just out

3:48

the window. I find a

3:50

poor veterinary search in Willy, but unfortunately,

3:52

if dogs have got cancer, and

3:54

I believe, didn't Ian Dale say one

3:56

of his dogs has got a tumor I

3:58

was hearing. He was he he tweeted about

4:00

that. So again, so expensive, unless

4:03

you've got and this woman quite clearly

4:05

didn't have pet plan or whatever

4:07

it is, all these different insurances that

4:09

you need if you've got a dog, a

4:11

cat, hamster, Gerbil, parakeet,

4:14

then any difference at all. You need

4:17

some sort of insurance because it can cost you

4:19

an arm and a leg. It's way too

4:21

expensive. Way too expensive.

4:23

But anyway, I trust you all had a good weekend.

4:25

I forgot to say actually. You

4:27

know, I had a very nice weekend.

4:29

Thank you. Went out to a little bit of shopping,

4:31

which is good. I nearly bought

4:33

an electric blanket. Nearly

4:36

bought an electric blanket. And then I thought, you know, it's

4:38

solid. I climbed into bed. And

4:40

within a very short space of time, my body

4:42

heat has sort of heated up

4:44

and and I'm just I'm so lucky.

4:47

So lucky. I know it's not easy for everybody else.

4:49

But if if if I sort of rub my legs together,

4:52

they they seem to sort of get warm

4:54

instantly So I

4:56

don't wake up, go cold

4:58

cold like that. And the heating

5:00

that I've had on before because I don't leave the

5:02

the tower fan heater thing

5:05

on all the time. It just goes on for

5:07

a couple of hours and then, you know, then

5:09

it adjusts the temperature itself. It's very I

5:11

mean, I forget what I paid for it. That eighty

5:13

quid or something. But they keep advertising

5:15

different heaters because, you know, we're all gonna

5:17

do the same thing. We're all doing the same thing.

5:19

You wanna keep warm. You

5:21

wanna keep warm. You know, I was I've

5:23

had a dream the other night that I won the

5:25

lottery. It's it's a dream that's been a

5:27

little bit of a recurring one. But anyway, and I and

5:29

I bought this house and in it it's

5:32

got a real fireplace. Now remember

5:34

thinking how lovely logs

5:36

on an open fire, toasting your

5:38

chestnuts, you know, and getting out there and

5:40

doing all that. And there's a house that blows me down. I woke up

5:42

this one. There's a house that's come up to sell in Mayfair,

5:44

and it's got a double garage

5:46

underneath it, which holds four

5:48

cars, which in Maeefear, the

5:51

house is only ten and a half million.

5:53

Which for Maeefear, you can't

5:55

complain this one that's come up in Knightsbridge,

5:57

twenty five million, but you can

5:59

you the offer is to buy a share of the freehold.

6:01

And I looked at it. I thought, do you know if you want a

6:03

hundred million, you would spend twenty five million on

6:05

a house because that would be your and

6:07

you'd pay cash. So you wouldn't want

6:09

a mortgage. Even though they'd be saying, oh, why don't you take

6:11

out a mortgage? I'd be going, nope. I'd pay

6:13

out owner. Anybody anything. So if

6:15

I need something nowadays, I

6:17

save up for it. If there's

6:19

something I knew years ago, you'd save up

6:21

for well, I don't know, car, I

6:23

suppose. But I've only

6:25

ever a few times in my life

6:27

had car on a a finance

6:30

scheme. And and I've sort

6:32

of and I've always since that

6:34

day in about fifteen, twenty years

6:36

ago, I've said never again. Because

6:38

you're saddled with that amount of money coming at

6:40

your bank account every month. So just when you thought

6:42

you'd plan for everything, out comes another

6:44

two hundred and sixty quid or whatever it happened to be.

6:46

And I remember thinking at the time, oh, no.

6:48

No. No. Thank you. So I don't. Now I

6:50

pay cash. I save up and

6:52

I pay cash for things, lucky to be in a

6:54

position to be able to do it. But I can't

6:56

imagine being and I spoke to somebody

6:59

earlier on who said that they they know people

7:01

who max out their cards. Over

7:04

the over the Christmas period. So literally,

7:06

they're up to now it says you've got six

7:08

thousand pound credit. So they spend

7:10

six thousand pound credit. On

7:12

it without thinking you're gonna pay

7:14

that back. And if you don't pay it

7:16

back and you fall into debt with

7:18

them, you won't get another credit card ever again

7:20

because you're on a list It's automated.

7:23

It it sort of shows people.

7:25

So when you go to get because the producers

7:27

debating whether to get a credit card, Now,

7:29

he's never had a credit card. He's gonna

7:31

find it difficult to get one because

7:34

he's got no credit rating

7:36

they can't work out what his credit rating

7:38

would be because they need to

7:40

see your credit rating. I I

7:42

was telling him a story of in my bank

7:44

years and years ago. I remember

7:47

saying to the the guys in there, I

7:49

said, I didn't get a Christmas card

7:51

this year. And he said, no, you didn't. I

7:53

said, Why? I said, I've got my accounts

7:55

here. He said, you haven't borrowed any money?

7:57

And I said, oh, if I borrow money, I get a

7:59

Christmas card. And he went, yeah. Because

8:01

that way, we're making money. He said, you've

8:03

just got money in your accounts. He

8:06

said, we're not making any money out of you at

8:08

all. You're just using this as a service. I

8:10

said, too bloody right I am. You

8:12

know? And so I've learned that over the years that

8:14

you can spend so much money. You know, it's

8:16

like years ago when I used to have a Visa card.

8:18

And and it would say, Santa

8:20

Santa, the balance and it would go minimum

8:23

payment, thirty two pounds, say, I

8:25

pay that. And you're paying

8:27

nothing, nothing off it at

8:29

all. And so I learned a

8:31

long time ago, whatever I spend, on

8:33

the on the the Visa card or

8:35

whatever it's called now. We

8:37

pay at the end of each month. We pay

8:39

it. You know, if I have to get less money in my

8:41

account as my spending, well

8:43

then so be it. I can move money from

8:45

other accounts. But no, always pay it off

8:47

every month. It's the only way to handle it. And I

8:49

think if I'm Martin Lewis, it says exactly

8:51

the same. Juggle credit cards between each

8:53

other so you use one to pay off this and

8:55

then that's so you don't end up having to pay any

8:57

interest. They don't like you for

8:59

it, but believe you may. It's

9:01

it's worth it in the long run.

9:03

The next episode of Harry and Meghan

9:06

released on the day that Kate hosts

9:08

her Carol service. Somebody wrote

9:10

a piece about her. And

9:12

they said they had watched the program, and

9:14

it was all very interesting. But when

9:16

you think about it, Meghan's never

9:18

had any money. She's

9:20

never been anybody who earns money. She's

9:22

just very average actress, and

9:24

we've certainly seen some of that in their little Netflix

9:26

next thing, which, to be honest with you, was about

9:28

as boring as as tea

9:30

time. You know, I didn't I didn't think was that

9:32

interesting at all. And so now she's got all

9:34

this money. She doesn't know how to behave with

9:36

it. Nobody's told her because quite clearly,

9:38

she thinks she knows everything. And

9:41

he, of course, who's always been used to having

9:43

money because he inherited from from his

9:45

mother. He to them, he's,

9:47

you know, he's always had that. Doesn't make any

9:49

difference to him. Whereas her, she's going, oh, we got

9:51

a hundred million pounds in the bank. Where

9:53

is he going? Yeah. I used to live in

9:55

a palace. Yeah. Beat

9:58

that. Beat that. So anyway,

9:59

Caprice Xmodel

10:01

claims her house was haunted by ghosts.

10:03

No, it wasn't. Stobey so silly,

10:06

and Matt Goss says he's a

10:08

secret silly billy. Yeah.

10:10

Like we always look at Matt Gossinger, you're

10:12

really a lot of fun, aren't you, as opposed to being

10:14

a temperamental old tart, which

10:16

if you watch did, you know, when they you didn't

10:18

see it, did you? I should've got you that. That would've

10:20

been ideal Christmas present. You should watch the

10:22

documentary when the screaming stops When

10:24

you realize that he's so temper

10:27

he's thrown all his toys out with a bathwater, oh,

10:29

he has tantrums left right and center.

10:31

Literally, and he tries to make that. He's a fun

10:33

person. Unfortunately, fun

10:35

is the last thing you think of when you think of

10:37

Matt Goss, who has now got a bit

10:39

of competition for the Christmas Number

10:42

one. Because throwing

10:44

their hat into the ring comes,lad

10:47

baby. Lad baby have done it

10:49

every year up till now, the headed here in and out

10:51

in John the other year. This time around, they've got

10:53

loads of other people. They're doing the band aid.

10:55

Single, all the money raise goes to charity,

10:58

I don't know what the video looks like. I'm

11:00

sure it'd be absolutely fantastic. And

11:02

so poor old Matt Goldstein has had

11:04

a chance against Lad baby.

11:06

And all of the other

11:08

records which are coming out at Christmas, they're all

11:11

competing for Christmas number one. I

11:13

mean, it I never thought it was that important

11:15

until I heard the We built this

11:17

city on SARS, Sage rolls,

11:19

And I remember thinking that's clever. And then somebody

11:21

went, oh, don't worry. They're a one hit wonder.

11:24

Nope. They certainly won't. They

11:26

certainly weren't. They got the kids

11:28

involved. It was It was fantastic. They

11:30

just looked fun. They looked fun. They

11:32

were having a bit of fun. Matt Goss is

11:34

too blum in series, too dreary.

11:36

Too series, no fun,

11:38

no happiness, miserable, but he's

11:40

got a girlfriend. So there's a

11:42

there's a start in life. Apparently,

11:46

tweet news for chocolate fans as Buffins have

11:49

created a new low calorie

11:51

version. The hell wants a low calorie

11:53

version. What's the point of that? You

11:55

don't. Seriously, it's not when

11:57

you don't know if it tastes the same.

11:59

We don't

11:59

the

11:59

that's the trouble. It's like saying, oh, We we

12:02

found a no fat chip. Yeah.

12:04

Whatever. Whatever. The

12:06

only low fat chips you want are the ones you get in the

12:08

fish and chip shop. The little ones you get

12:10

everywhere else, the smaller the chip, the

12:12

more fat oil there is on it.

12:14

Okay. The big fat chips, there's not, sort

12:16

of, I'd tell you that. What

12:18

was the other one that I I quite like?

12:24

Apparently arriving late to a party,

12:26

makes you respected by other revelers. See,

12:28

I always thought that was just the height of

12:30

rudeness. You know, I'm so sorry,

12:32

we we turned up. We couldn't find any way to park the

12:34

car. It's been an up solute nightmare. And

12:36

they go, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Whatever.

12:38

You're late. Okay. Every this is the

12:40

late people. Michael Barrymore, and

12:43

loads of other people have done the same old act.

12:45

Michael Barrymore used to do it at

12:47

the Royal Variety performance. What they would do

12:49

is they would have him coming

12:51

on stage blah, blah, blah, he would start

12:53

doing the act and

12:55

they would hold two people back. I think

12:57

they they were plants and then they'd let them

12:59

go in as he starts the act.

13:02

and of course, their seats would be right

13:04

down the front. And it was it was always

13:06

a setup and he'd go, hold

13:09

it. I'm so hello? Hello?

13:11

Are you can we help

13:13

you? Like, so so we're like Yeah.

13:15

Well, don't worry, please. Honestly, we were just waiting

13:17

till you arrived till we could do the show.

13:19

Day Med knew used to do exactly the

13:21

same act they would hold two people

13:23

back, and he'd say, hello, possums,

13:26

you know, and he'd say, you bit before

13:28

that, he'd say, oh, anybody in from,

13:30

you know, Germany, anybody in from

13:32

Australia, blah blah. Yeah. Somebody in from

13:34

Australia. Hello, Raileen.

13:36

How are you doing? Blah blah blah blah blah. And

13:38

then he'd say to this new new couple, he'd go,

13:40

what what's your name's darling? And

13:42

they'd go, oh, it's Charles and Rita.

13:44

Where are you from? We're

13:47

from Stratford upon Avon. Oh,

13:49

this is Raleen. She's from trailer and

13:51

she managed to make it on time, you

13:53

know, and that was the whole gag

13:55

built on it. And as subsequent people have

13:57

done it all the time, it's it's absolutely brilliant.

13:59

I was in Britain. Cordo, there's so

14:01

much to talk about today. There's

14:03

so much Actually, there's not a huge amount to talk

14:06

about. It's a really, but we managed to fill fifteen

14:08

minutes. We haven't gotten anywhere yet. We

14:10

haven't I haven't even put myself in

14:12

gear. You wait till I get it? It's only because I

14:14

was so bloody cold when I came outside.

14:16

I'm still warming the car up. It was so beautiful

14:18

yesterday. It really was. I put the heating on the way

14:20

back, and it was like, I ended an extra button

14:22

on the shirt. I thought to hell with it. Who

14:24

cares? They wanna look? Let them look. This

14:26

is LVC with

14:28

Steve Hallum. Morning.

14:30

I'm

14:30

just looking at the national

14:32

highways information, which is managed

14:34

by TFL. And I can tell you on the

14:36

M25, between

14:38

twenty three and twenty four

14:41

junction, it's slow it's

14:43

at a standstill between twenty four

14:45

and twenty five, and that's a long stretch.

14:47

In fact, a long stretch than between twenty

14:49

three and twenty four. And then

14:52

it's busy for the remainder of it. In

14:54

fact, between twenty five and twenty six,

14:56

it's a bit busy, but it's at a

14:58

standstill between twenty four and twenty

15:00

five. So I can't see any obvious

15:04

reasons why it's not going anywhere.

15:06

Apart from the weather conditions, I can't

15:08

think of anything else, but you

15:10

will get through it. Gardiner, you will get

15:12

through it. Yeah. And we will be here

15:14

for you. So, I mean, if you

15:16

got the radio on, wind down the window. No.

15:18

Don't wind down the window. It'll be freezing cold out

15:20

there. You don't wanna get I want to get

15:22

freezing cold here. Put the heating on like

15:24

me. And don't I mean, I hope you've all

15:26

got enough petrol. I'll be the next

15:28

thing. Or I hope you remember if you haven't got enough petrol.

15:30

You remember the AA or the RAC

15:32

or green flag or anyone of a

15:34

number of of agencies. And

15:37

Tony says, imagine being in a traffic jam

15:39

in an elect trick car must be

15:41

a nightmare waiting for the battery to expire.

15:44

Oh, it'll keep going the

15:46

battery. If it's an electric car, because as you sort

15:48

of drive along, it sort of recharges

15:50

it. So you should well well,

15:52

that's the way I thought it worked. It actually

15:54

says it's an absolute joke coke on

15:56

the 188 the main roads in London. Clear

15:58

what's going on with the heating on the upper deck of

16:00

buses. It's warmer outside. As a

16:02

black keys, pretty sure they use teaspoons to

16:04

grip the back roads while buses diverted.

16:06

Well, I couldn't get into Richmond the other

16:08

day. It was it was really ridiculous.

16:10

And I'll tell you what, they thought I was a shoplift

16:12

in Robert Dyer's. I went in

16:14

to buy two things from JML,

16:16

Robert Dyer's in Richmond, so I go in

16:18

there, and it's all protected by

16:20

a little plastic thing. Which

16:22

is deactivated by a magnet. I

16:24

could have taken a magnet in myself and done it, but anyway,

16:26

I didn't. And so it means that you

16:28

can't thieve it. So I said, oh,

16:30

can I have to obviously, I look like a

16:32

shoplifter. I must look like something

16:34

who's really undesirable. And so like I

16:36

said, can I have two of these things? It's a thing for

16:38

taking off dead on the bottom of your

16:40

feet. If you're a diabetic, you get this a lot of

16:42

problems. And I thought, I buy one from myself, and one

16:44

is a treat for somebody else.

16:46

You know, I don't know why. I mean, just one of those sort of thing.

16:49

So I said, oh, can I have two? So he

16:51

took them off. He said, I'll take them to the till

16:53

for you. And I thought, you're not gonna give them

16:55

to me in case I run out the shop. So

16:57

it was soon You might as well have said, I'm

16:59

sorry. You look like a shoplifter. You

17:02

know? So just be warned. If ever they say, I'll take

17:04

them to the till for you. Because I walked to the till, you

17:06

know, looking like a complete trim

17:09

and and I didn't I didn't pinch them. I

17:11

paid forty pounds. Cash.

17:13

Those ask the same thing, don't they? Cash

17:15

or cash? Like I've I've sort of come

17:17

up with something quite unusual.

17:20

And then then then then Barry, so we've given

17:22

you the update on the m

17:24

twenty five. It is at a standstill, but

17:27

between the ones that I

17:29

said, on the m twenty five,

17:31

twenty four and twenty five at a standstill

17:34

both directions, both directions.

17:36

I'm looking at it now. And

17:38

it's got the warning triangles up on

17:40

it. So between twenty three and twenty

17:42

four, it's moving slow. Then you

17:44

hit a grid at twenty

17:47

four and then twenty five. If you can think of way around

17:49

it, in fact, where

17:52

is Hubhubhubhubhubhubhubhubhubhubhubhubhub, Hoobird,

17:55

whether if she well, she can't get in at the

17:57

moment, actually, Pearl Joe.

17:59

But HooBroom used to all travel, and he was

18:01

really good because he'd say to you Listen,

18:03

it's busy here, but if you come

18:05

off at this one and go background, because

18:07

the trouble is the moment we get, we should better cope

18:09

with this, it's a bit of snow

18:12

But because the council haven't been out gridding,

18:14

a bit of a pain, really,

18:16

heard you talk about buying electric blankets,

18:18

diabetic patients should never use one

18:20

Due to neuropathy, really?

18:24

Neuropathy. I've never heard of that one for

18:26

diabetics. We shall have a check on

18:28

what neuropathy stands for my shouldn't be

18:30

getting a electric blanket. I mean,

18:32

I have had them. Joyce

18:34

says, since I had my hip hop and the complications

18:36

with my foot, it's numb and takes ages to

18:38

warm up, Thankfully, I have an

18:40

electric over blankets. I'm keeping warm,

18:42

but I'm hibernating. Too

18:44

dangerous out there. I bet you're hibernating. It

18:46

is cold Didn't it? I have no no

18:48

problem with that electric blankets.

18:50

A dangerous for patients with diabetes because

18:52

of the direct heat applied to

18:54

the body for person with neuropathy. They're offering danger of not

18:57

realizing the heat is too high. All their

18:59

skin is being injured, a burn can quickly develop

19:01

into something much worse. Let's

19:03

have to go and get another hot water bottle, a

19:05

new one, but also because my body is covered

19:07

in scars anyway. You know,

19:10

I mean, I am a walking road map, I'm

19:12

afraid. My body is not the best condition

19:14

it's ever been in. And if you've had skin

19:16

grafting and things like

19:18

that, you've always got them. It's never going to change, I'm afraid.

19:20

But, you know, I'll do my best.

19:22

Dear me. Right. Mhmm.

19:25

Mhmm. Mhmm. Mhmm. Twenty five million

19:27

says Roger would buy you a lovely mansion that

19:29

wentworth with loads of parking. Yes.

19:32

Jason, the post in Wellington, he

19:34

says thick snow here today delivering all the

19:36

letters and parcels will be fun, but we will do

19:38

our best. They need to fit

19:40

you with these shoes where you can walk

19:42

in snow But the one

19:44

tragedy of snow is

19:46

two children are dead and

19:48

four others fighting with their lives, they went

19:50

onto a frozen pond.

19:52

Now, I don't know how long ago this accident happened

19:54

because the police have got a boat on

19:56

there and the medics. And if there's a

19:58

boat that can paddle around who in their

20:01

right mind goes onto a

20:03

frozen lake of pond. Over the

20:05

years, it's not This

20:07

is new. There was a woman the

20:09

other year. And

20:11

she was photographed in all the papers,

20:13

and it drove me to insanity

20:16

because she pushed her

20:18

cram onto the ice, a

20:20

more stupid person, you'd be hard pushed. There was a baby in

20:22

the PRAM, and she pushes it over the ice

20:24

up at Hampstead. And I remember thinking,

20:26

are you bloody mad?

20:29

Are you really seriously telling me that

20:31

you've got a degree in anything at all

20:33

apart from ranks stupidity

20:37

stupidity. I mean, just really

20:39

annoying. You know, you're putting people's lives at

20:41

risk. And so kids, they see

20:43

ice, and they go, oh, you can step on it.

20:45

They don't realize A, the water is

20:47

freezing cold. Why do you think so many people

20:49

died on the Titanic? Because

20:51

they were plunged into icy cold

20:53

water, they died of hypothermia It

20:55

was freezing cold. And if you've got a lake or a

20:58

river or a, you know, a stream

21:00

or something like that and it's frozen, it will only

21:02

be thin ice And

21:04

these kids suffered four others of fighting

21:06

for their lives, six of them went and played on

21:08

it. I mean, seriously,

21:11

I don't what we can I've I've often worried

21:13

about what more radio presenters

21:15

and television presenters and news presenters can

21:17

do to warn people

21:20

about, you know, don't go anywhere near

21:22

frozen lakes or rivers or anything like

21:24

that. Don't take drugs. I mean, we might as

21:26

well just in the wind as

21:28

they say. Nobody takes a blind bit of notice. So people

21:30

go out to a nightclub and they think they're gonna have a

21:32

really good time, so they take something which

21:34

disagrees with them, might not

21:36

disagree with everybody, but it disagrees

21:38

with them and their body metabolisms. Next

21:40

thing they're fighting for their lives. The next thing they switch

21:42

off the machines. You

21:45

know, but to lose people on

21:47

a on a frozen lake

21:49

is just the worst ever

21:51

for parents coming up to Christmas.

21:53

You know, I don't know what these families

21:57

have been told about not going there

21:59

anyway. Just because it looks frozen doesn't

22:01

mean you can walk on it. You

22:04

know, it's like people have often said,

22:06

oh, this person drowned, trying to

22:08

rescue their dog. And you

22:10

go, listen, dogs go onto ice, they fall in the river, they can

22:12

get themselves out. You

22:14

don't need to go there and get them out at

22:16

all, but people do

22:19

it. Locked into the spike says watch. I went

22:21

to the cinema to watch Black Panther was

22:23

really good. It was freezing

22:25

outside. I can well imagine

22:28

well imagine. And Shane says

22:30

I get my government pension every fortnight. I

22:32

put fifty dollars away each fortnight for

22:34

Christmas, so I don't have to use my credit

22:36

card. Very good idea. Very

22:38

good idea. I take

22:40

out next payday, she'll

22:42

take a thousand pounds out the

22:45

bank in fifties and that will cover me for the whole of Christmas.

22:47

That means I can, you know,

22:49

give the kids some money. I've decided

22:51

fifty quid each. I've decided.

22:53

And, you know, mom and dad and, you know,

22:56

the the few people I have to and that will give me a little bit

22:58

extra, which will then take me through

23:00

into January. Because it's a

23:02

long month. You get paid

23:04

on the twenty second of December, the

23:06

next time you get paid, it'll be the end

23:08

of January. six weeks and just

23:10

remember the bills still keep they

23:12

don't know. You know, the people who sent out the

23:14

bills, they're all automated. So, I mean,

23:16

the producer is going away. When I say going away, he

23:18

has to do. It's part of the tacking process, but

23:21

they'll they'll be taking away too, let's

23:23

just call it, another place,

23:26

which is maximum security. So

23:28

he he sort of used to cold steel potties

23:30

and sawdust on the floor and things like that. And

23:32

peering out through the bars. But, I mean, it doesn't make any

23:34

difference to him. And he's still moaning about the fact they're

23:36

not having a family Christmas tree because they're

23:39

not there. He just cannot

23:41

understand why, you know, the

23:43

family would not waste the money on a tree

23:45

that's gonna be there for a few days for

23:47

the go away for Christmas. And then when they come

23:49

back, you're gonna be taking it down

23:51

again. But what's the point you

23:53

leave on the twenty third? What's the and then

23:55

back on when? Back on when?

23:57

Of

23:57

the January.

23:59

Back of the twenty,

24:01

so you're only away for a week then. How'd

24:03

it worth bothering us it really? What's

24:05

that? Was that holiday or is that visiting

24:07

your hubcap somewhere? I can't think of

24:09

any other reason because a few days,

24:12

really. Oh, right. Where are you Would

24:14

it be Corchedville or somewhere like that?

24:16

So is it new Corchedville?

24:18

Oh, right. Sounds lovely. What what do

24:20

you have over there? A Charlotte? Would you

24:22

have a Charlotte? It's staying a little

24:25

jeep or something. Oh,

24:27

a long place fire. How lovely? They

24:29

have one of those hidden Kings to Market mode.

24:31

It's a big round thing. It's like a fire pit.

24:33

And they cooked their their sausages over it.

24:35

I have one the other day. It was a hot and

24:37

spicy brat roast. It was completely delicious.

24:40

And I put some scent on because I

24:42

like scent, which is their mild mustard.

24:45

Combined in this country, scent, they have it all the

24:47

time in Austria and Germany, scent, and

24:49

it's mild mustard. Oh, is that it? Is that you're

24:51

saying? That'll be burnt down by the time you get

24:53

there, I can tell. That'll never be there.

24:55

No. I'm not gonna burn it down.

24:57

People will. And

25:00

the other one says, a very good

25:02

one. It hopes I'm gonna make sure hot cup of tea. I've

25:04

already had it. I've had three cups of tea already this morning.

25:07

Got me a milk and everything, and I will

25:09

slurp her hair, absolutely,

25:11

because it winds up a couple of people. I do a

25:13

deliberate look. Can't

25:15

help it. I love it. Steve,

25:18

do you shower every

25:21

day? Yes. During the

25:23

cold weather. Yeah. You find it's too cold.

25:25

Won't try it try saving up for the

25:27

heating. Well, you've got

25:29

shower makes you feel warm and everything lovely. Oh, I

25:31

love a shower. Oh, I love a shower. I

25:33

can't tell you. Steve, we have an open

25:36

log fire. And I have just it

25:38

from yesterday, says Vrblogg's just flaming

25:40

mugifying you. Lovely.

25:43

Happy Monday. Kind

25:45

thoughts for those people stuck on the m twenty

25:47

five. I know. Even at this time of the

25:49

morning excuse me.

25:51

Even at this time, four thirty in

25:53

the morning. People are stuck. You know, everybody

25:55

say to me, oh, if you're going anywhere, Steve, go

25:57

early and things like that. Well, actually, unlucky. I don't

25:59

need to worry. I came in. The car

26:01

was fine. Pick me up three minutes

26:03

early and still checking

26:05

the National Highways. No

26:08

change, I'm afraid, on the

26:10

M25. Slow

26:12

in a Oh, sorry. Slow in

26:14

a bit between junction. Twenty seven

26:16

and twenty eight.

26:19

So just be warned. If you can delay your

26:21

journey or find an

26:23

alternative route, that would be the

26:25

thing to do.

26:27

Leading Britain's conversation,

26:31

LBC, with Steve Allen.

26:33

Hold there's a big hill between junction twenty four and twenty

26:36

five, Steve, hence people struggling

26:38

in the snow. As

26:40

usual, the roads weren't gritted last

26:43

night. I know. It'll come down to the fact the

26:45

councils can't afford it, I should imagine.

26:47

Although, round our way, we've got a

26:49

big shed kind

26:51

of thing, which is down in sombre and that's

26:53

full of all the sand and grit

26:55

to go on the roads and the pavement will

26:57

all have to be done because otherwise people before

26:59

going over, which is not so good.

27:02

Steve, you mentioned the electric

27:04

blankets. They do

27:06

electric mattress toppers. To kill two birds in one

27:08

stone, the padding is even better and

27:10

hot. Alright. David says

27:12

also the water is moving under the ice. If you fall

27:14

in, you'll be swept away under the

27:16

ice. Yeah. I mean, but it's just it's

27:18

a no brainer. I know that's

27:20

of no consolation to anybody

27:23

who is sort of currently thinking. I mean,

27:26

two two children dead and

27:28

four others fighting for their lives.

27:30

And you think I I don't know what you

27:32

can do. I mean, you could even put notices up

27:34

saying, do not go I even if it wasn't frozen, I

27:36

wouldn't go anywhere near it.

27:39

Gasley. Gasley. Minus

27:41

seven Sun, minus seven and a dipping. I've

27:43

got the two beautiful other We Heart beaten

27:46

beside me says Kim, Anthony

27:48

Napolow. We're keeping each other warm or so best.

27:50

I think everyone should go and get a

27:52

cat. Or something like that. Keep yourself warm because

27:54

I think, you know, cats all cut love you. They all

27:56

just stay there. Just stay there. I'm not moving.

27:58

Robert, in Detroit, says

28:01

in an old top gear, Steve, they had the

28:03

trio, presenter radio program, and Clarks, and did

28:05

the travel. At one point, he said, it's all

28:08

completely hopeless. Looking at the endless traffic

28:10

jam. Do you think LBC can call on his

28:12

services if Joanne can't make it

28:14

in? Oh, she'll make it in. She'll make it

28:16

in. Of course, she's Even though

28:18

she's out in the wilds, the

28:20

wilds out there, oh, the Amazon,

28:22

and miles away miles away. But

28:24

because it's different in Detroit as

28:26

well. How lovely. Aileen in Scarborough says I bought a teddy

28:28

fleece duvet set on Amazon

28:31

and it's so cozy and warm very

28:33

much recommended. And

28:35

one that says, Steve, if you get the

28:37

electric blanket, have a look at a weighted blanket,

28:39

a game changer, keeps you warm

28:41

and helps you sleep quicker. Oh, I Listen,

28:43

you won't sleep as quick as me. I

28:46

am the quickest sleeper, you'll ever encounter.

28:48

People always say to me, oh, how'd you sleep?

28:50

And I go very well. Very

28:52

Literally, I mean, I fell asleep on the sette yesterday because

28:54

it was so warm and cozy and I was

28:56

just wearing pants. And and then

28:58

I thought to try and take the image out your mind, or

29:01

not as the case may be. And and then

29:03

I thought, oh, just climate a bit. Now climate a bit, it's

29:05

a bit not sort of chilly

29:07

or nippy. But it wasn't

29:09

as as hot as it should have been. Within two minutes, I'm I'm gone

29:12

completely out for

29:14

the count. Somebody

29:19

says, oh, somebody's looking for a film,

29:21

but I can't remember what the what the

29:23

film was. Oh, you got

29:25

the film. You have got the film. Oh,

29:27

right. So as you're the film, Oracle,

29:29

says Mark in Western Australia,

29:31

it says Kenneth Connor Leslie

29:33

Phillips and Jones Sims. Leslie is a naval officer. Kenneth

29:36

is a naval rating who

29:38

sets fire to a top secret plan by

29:40

mistake. Only got five minutes, but it looked

29:42

really good. When I can tell you what the film

29:44

is, the film is called Watch

29:47

Your Stern. Okay? It's the

29:49

only film to feature Sid James with a

29:51

full beard. And it's

29:53

directed by Gerald

29:55

Thomas who went on to do the carry on,

29:57

so made in nineteen sixty.

29:59

And they filmed it in

29:59

Chatham Docuard, and

30:02

aboard HMS Jaguar, an HMS

30:05

Chatplet. It was built sorry, based on the

30:07

place something about a sailor by

30:09

Earl Cuchy. So

30:10

there you go. So it's got Eric Barker, Leslie

30:12

Phillips Kenneth Connor. Hello. Music

30:15

by Bruce Montgomery. And

30:18

and it's available now. You can probably get

30:20

it on Amazon. I should imagine, watch

30:22

your stern with

30:25

a Hatterjakes is in it as well. So Hatterjakes is

30:27

in it. So again, you see, because

30:29

it was produced by by Gerald Thomas,

30:31

he had a cast assembled for

30:33

the carry ons so he just transferred them

30:36

over. It worked very, very well

30:38

indeed. Very well. Thank

30:40

you. 8485

30:42

o's david LBC dot co dot

30:44

u k. So the World Cup,

30:46

we lost. There's no point in the papers trying to

30:48

build it up going, oh, don't worry. No.

30:50

Of course, we worry. We weren't good enough.

30:52

But then I said that to start with, people say,

30:55

no, you're wrong, Steve. You're wrong.

30:57

You know, we're we're gonna do really well. I said, no,

30:59

we're not. No, we're not. That's

31:01

not being you know, pessimistic. That's been very

31:03

optimistic. Tough year for Le

31:05

campaign, apparently because he

31:07

sort of made a bit of a mistake. Where

31:09

he was saying that what was he saying? I can't

31:12

remember if somebody's doing it. He was the the

31:14

driving force. He

31:16

he was he was the main one in one direction.

31:18

Dream on, Sunnyboy, dream

31:20

on. And also, he was he was the most

31:22

successful one, which of

31:24

course, he wasn't. So he had to apologize

31:27

mainly because Harry Styles is way

31:30

in excessively empowered. Yeah.

31:32

I mean, it's just, you know, why do these people say

31:34

these things? Drink. It's, you

31:36

know, you just bigger. I can do

31:38

that. It's like the bloke in the pub, you stand there having

31:40

a small sherry. And you say, well, must

31:42

get around to doing the garage and the bloat next, you

31:45

go, how do you do that? You

31:47

go, well, I could build a garage.

31:49

I could caramel get bricks

31:51

and build a garage for you. I

31:53

built loads of garages. You go

31:55

lovely. Thank you. So Lad baby are

31:57

gonna be the Christmas number one.

31:59

I know it's not politically correct to say that because they're a

32:01

nice little family, but I think

32:03

they will be number one again. They're very good. They're

32:05

what the video looks like.

32:08

And and how they got

32:10

Martin Lewis. How's it? Who else who

32:12

else it got? He got I saw the

32:14

Martin Lewis tag on it, but I was I was

32:16

looking for some some other names as

32:19

well. I don't know why. I just sort of I just want to

32:21

wish them the very best because they seem to do

32:23

very well. Stock cake in a

32:25

waterman of reuniting. To

32:27

explain to producers whose stockache in

32:29

waterman were. I said, you know, I'm

32:31

spinning around. You went, no, you're not. I don't know. That

32:33

was a song that they wrote. For

32:35

Kylie, and they did. You know, too many

32:37

broken hearts in the world. There's

32:39

too many things can be broken

32:42

into And that was for Jason Donovan. Don't you remember that one?

32:44

God, heavens above. Especially

32:47

for you as

32:49

No. What's my singing

32:52

has deteriorated somewhat. Also,

32:54

today, we've got light

32:56

up gifts for Christmas. I do

32:58

like light up gifts. I like light up

33:00

gifts. I like everything you push a button

33:02

on it and it lights up. I'm

33:04

very excited. The walrus

33:06

found resting on a British beach. And

33:08

again, we have to tell people, don't

33:10

go anywhere near it.

33:12

Okay? These things are about, you

33:15

know, some of the smaller ones can be about

33:17

eight or nine foot long and some

33:19

of the bigger ones up to

33:21

fifteen, twenty feet they're

33:23

huge when they rear up, you know, and they can

33:25

move at a at a pace, you'd be surprised for something

33:27

that's so heavy. They can

33:30

actually move. So if you think, you know, the

33:32

kids can Oh, we have a picture taken with the

33:34

walrus. Don't go anywhere near

33:36

it. Mind you, of course, you're gonna get

33:38

stupid people who are gonna go

33:40

near it. But the advice is

33:42

don't go anywhere near it.

33:44

What else we got? We got There

33:47

it is. It's the

33:49

walrus can reach speeds of six

33:51

miles an hour. I

33:53

mean, it is once at sea. This is

33:55

when it's in the water. Why whenever

33:57

you get the polar bears attacking them, they just go

33:59

into the water and disappear. They're very

34:01

agile. They can dive to depths of

34:03

three hundred meters. They can travel

34:05

up to twenty one point seven miles per hour at

34:07

an average speed of four point three miles an

34:10

hour, and that's in

34:12

the Arctic. And

34:14

are they intelligent? No. They're

34:16

just a lot of blubber. There's a lot

34:18

of them. But the the polar bears try

34:20

and attack them, but they can't get through

34:22

the skin because there's so much fat on them. So

34:25

much fat. Community in

34:28

Sean Walsh, I think my mistake

34:30

issue with that, but thank you very much

34:32

indeed. Says his bad experience on strictly come

34:34

dancing almost stopped him from appearing here, but then they

34:36

wave money deer. And he went up

34:38

tight that. Thank you very much indeed because I'm

34:40

very funny. He said his pregnant

34:42

partner, Grace, told him the

34:44

Jungle TV show invite was a

34:46

once in lifetime change. And then I'm gonna ask you

34:48

twice, thank God. And who

34:50

is this? Morocco's World

34:52

Cup Heroes? I've already won over a legion of new fans now

34:54

joined by millions of

34:56

English. Alright. I don't know if this

34:58

person is actually. I'm looking at a picture

35:00

of somebody. It could

35:02

be it could be Garo

35:04

Southgate, but I wouldn't like to bet on

35:06

it. I don't yeah. Who is who is

35:08

that? That that

35:10

Garo Southgate? Who

35:12

is Oden, who he is?

35:14

Well, how did the one in the

35:16

white? Because that would be the girlfriend.

35:19

Oh, it's not Garrett Southgate. Oh, okay. It's not

35:21

Garrett Southgate. Who is it then? We

35:23

don't know useless. Anyway,

35:26

no, it doesn't say that's the problem.

35:29

It don't no. It doesn't say the bottom, it

35:31

says Southgate considers it considers

35:34

future. And that was it. It it says

35:36

stray guitar mug above. But the girlfriend

35:38

or wife or whatever she is is wearing the most

35:40

inappropriate outfit. I mean, how to look

35:42

cheap? How to look cheap? Lovely. Why don't you

35:44

just do do whatever the whole trip, just walk around

35:46

with your boobs flopping all over the

35:48

place. I've never seen like it. What's the matter

35:50

with these footballing wives

35:52

and girlfriends

35:54

and mistresses? And bits on the side. You know, what is it

35:56

about them that means that they have to look

35:58

cheap? They they just never

36:00

look they never look classy, do

36:02

they really? Strictly star

36:04

Molly Ravenford is being lined up to

36:06

represent the UK next year's Eurovision song

36:08

contest with her killer career

36:10

at Stonehead. Whether one in God

36:12

knows how long. And debt collectors will soon be forced

36:14

to wear body cams in a

36:16

government crackdown on Bullitak ticks

36:19

ministers want to stop those using, intimidating,

36:22

and aggressive behavior. Courts

36:24

will get greater powers to issue fines and order

36:26

training, I love the

36:28

bailiff programs. I I can't tell you how much pleasure I

36:30

got. You know, when you get all these but there was one

36:32

bloke, get a garage. So the

36:34

bailiffs turn

36:36

up. And they go, we're looking for a sun. So and this

36:38

bloke stands there. He's he's all

36:40

he's all mouth and trousers.

36:43

Than what you're talking about mate. The idea now is

36:45

a different business, and it turns out it

36:47

was the same business. They just changed the name

36:49

of it. But anyway, cut a

36:51

long story short. He goes, you're not coming inside. He said, well,

36:53

you owe this three thousand four hundred pound debt or whatever it

36:56

happened to be. And he said, well, you ain't

36:58

coming inside. And

37:00

so they they have to call the police because they're from the high court. They're

37:03

not from a county court. They're the high court.

37:05

That means the police come and they

37:07

will support them in their actions

37:09

in removing goods and chattels

37:12

to the tune of three thousand four hundred,

37:14

plus whatever bills this person's incurred.

37:16

Anyway, he's still given

37:18

it large. You know, I mean, a complete and not a dipstick, you know, like,

37:20

you're not coming in here, and the police turn

37:22

up. And so they don't go, yeah, they can come inside

37:24

there from the high court. What he he was

37:26

obviously too stupid to realize. So they

37:28

go inside. He's trying to stop them, get out of my

37:30

place, get out of my place, and they go, we're looking for

37:32

this bloke here. It turns out it was him that

37:34

they were looking for all the time. He just changed the

37:36

name of the business. In the end, he suddenly

37:38

realized they were gonna take his living away. They were taking away equipment for

37:40

doing all sorts of bits and pieces. So he had

37:42

to call mommy and daddy.

37:45

And wife out so they could have to raid their piggy

37:47

banks, but it's amazing, isn't it? They managed to

37:49

find the money. And that's what I used to love about

37:51

the bailiffs. They'd stand there and people would threaten them and everything

37:53

and they go We'll just call the police. It doesn't make any difference.

37:55

You can stand there. The police will come out and they will

37:57

stop you, and we will we'll there to take this

37:59

stuff away because we're here to

38:02

take it. We're in a restaurant

38:04

once the bloke went we're not giving you

38:06

any money. We don't have any money. Different

38:08

company now and he's so he started stacking up

38:10

chess, and they called the

38:12

removal lorry. And the blokes

38:14

said, you can do what you like. So they call the removal or

38:16

they start taking down all of a sudden he finds the

38:18

money. You know, people who

38:20

are crooks, people running businesses, you know, and

38:22

taking in loads of money, but not paying their

38:24

debts, which means that

38:26

somebody else suffers.

38:28

Steve, I finished work at twenty two fifteen. I'm

38:30

still on the M25 for a twenty minute

38:32

drive says Rich. Oh, god.

38:34

It's not good. It's still the same. It's it's I mean, if it changes,

38:36

I'll tell you, but it's not changing

38:39

at the moment, I'm afraid. I mean, if I if

38:41

if you can do another way,

38:44

Without doing the m twenty five, do another way. Steve

38:47

Hallum on LVC,

38:48

text 84850

38:51

Morning, nice heavy company,

38:52

Oh. Let's get another cup of

38:54

tea in a minute. Yeah. We just feel like another

38:56

cup of tea. We we we can't beat a

38:58

good day without a good old slurp on the

39:01

program because it winds up one

39:03

one person in particular, which we love doing actually.

39:05

I always like doing that. I always think to myself you

39:07

need to get a

39:10

life, sadder. So the shoppers who go

39:12

to the range, I think

39:14

I've heard of the range. I've never been

39:16

to it. But

39:18

they've criticized and bonkers meal

39:20

deal. And the meal deal

39:23

is soup

39:24

at half a sandwich. Which

39:26

I've

39:26

never actually oh, that's right. Yeah. Well, I think we must have one round our way, but

39:28

they seem to be open all all over the place.

39:30

They're quite big. They look like they

39:33

look one in Croydon. Isn't

39:35

that the Council's just gone bankrupt. I was like, god knows how many

39:37

times. But anyway, the homewear giant,

39:39

the range withdrew the offer after

39:41

the online backlash, so

39:44

you get soup and half a sandwich for four ninety nine.

39:47

It wants half a

39:50

sandwich. Anyway, homewear giant,

39:52

the range withdrew it, Sarah Harrison fumed

39:54

a fiver for half of Sarni

39:56

and some soup should be ashamed. Claire

39:58

Mikkelson asked, what are you doing with the other half of

40:00

the sandwich? Well, they're telling

40:02

it. But, presumably, if you cut a

40:04

sandwich in half, you get half. Somebody else gets half.

40:06

That's how it works. Shelly French

40:08

Muse, can you pay extra for a whole

40:10

sandwich, the range declined to come at house.

40:12

What stupid idea was

40:14

that? Why would somebody sort of go? Let's do

40:16

half a sandwich and a cup

40:18

of soap. For a fiber. For a fiber, I'll tell you, I had a

40:20

dreadful soup the other day. I

40:22

had I had some monks and

40:24

Spencer's had

40:26

a childer. Which is particularly good. I have to tell you,

40:28

particularly good. And then I got leek and

40:30

potato, which I bought in Waitrose

40:32

because I was trying to find

40:34

Ina Baxter's colons

40:36

skink, which is they had it chowder, but they

40:38

didn't have that. So I bought leek and potato. It

40:40

was the most bland soup I've

40:42

ever had in my entire life. So

40:44

I went back because the had it chowder is

40:47

particularly delicious. So today, it's it's soup because a

40:49

friend of mine's got this app on his phone

40:51

and he checks it all

40:54

the time. He says, so you haven't had it chowder and it gives you so

40:56

many points. And so

40:58

every item of food that I eat

41:01

he puts into there and goes, what do you think? Oh, really? That's

41:03

not just bad. Sweet and sour chicken

41:05

from Waitrose wasn't quite as bad as

41:07

the havoc chowder. Which

41:10

surprised me. So I so

41:12

yesterday, I had sweet and sour chicken which came with the

41:14

sauce and the

41:16

pineapple, delicious. And some special fried rice, very nice

41:18

indeed. Very, very nice. Even though special fried

41:20

rice is probably not particularly good for you,

41:22

but love

41:24

it. Steve, Avoid the m

41:26

twenty five this morning. Where have you been? We've been

41:28

here since four o'clock telling you that,

41:30

goodness sake, honestly, some people,

41:32

you do your bet. Best, slowed a lot in Saint Albans, says Behb just showed young

41:34

dogs was scared and ran to a bed. I'm

41:36

surprised. Dogs are good. We'd

41:38

like to go outside. You

41:41

see cats in the snow, that's hilarious to

41:43

watch, hilarious. But, no,

41:46

it's I mean, it's if you've not seen snow before,

41:48

of course, the people I feel sorry

41:50

for not. The the little delivery drivers

41:53

on their motorized hair dryers going

41:55

around delivering pizzas and everything else. They've

41:57

never seen snow before. Quite clearly. Never seen

41:59

it. And all over the place. All over

42:01

the place. Boy George threatened to walk

42:03

out the jungle four times and went on strike

42:05

over clean socks.

42:08

I mean, it's a story, isn't it? It's a story.

42:10

And apparently, Matt Hancock is planning to

42:12

make a serious documentary on euthanasia and

42:16

just like here. I'll go away and boring old wind bag. Everybody cares

42:18

about your mate. You're of no interest to anybody at

42:20

all. You're about as dull

42:22

as gemicones. And

42:24

that's saying something, saying something. Amanda Holden,

42:27

this is saying something, is

42:29

that turning sexpert.

42:32

Apparently, to present a sourcey documentary on the history of Hanky,

42:35

Hanky. Oh, dear. So going

42:37

back to Roman times,

42:40

I don't I'm really sure. I want to know about things like that. Who wants to

42:42

know about the days of hanky panky. It's

42:45

called horrible histories, but it's

42:47

for for grownups. Did

42:50

you see a program the other day on the television? I wasn't sure if I watching my

42:52

television or some strange pornography channel

42:54

had seeped into the system. And

42:57

it was a woman doing a documentary about couples who

43:00

perform on the internet for

43:02

money. And and a couple, you know, that

43:04

she was sort of chatting away to them. And they said,

43:06

oh, we've got session coming up

43:08

this evening. And

43:10

would you like to watch? So

43:12

she sat in the corner of the bedroom

43:14

while this couple performed on the bed. And she

43:17

was sort of looking away, and they were doing it a camera, and then

43:19

people paid money. And at the end, she

43:21

said, so how much money have you made out there? And they

43:23

said, oh, about forty quid.

43:26

Hardly worth bothering I thought. Obviously, fancy, you

43:28

know, basically selling yourself that cheap.

43:30

It was all a bit tragic.

43:33

It it was the it was a look on this woman's face. She's trying not to

43:35

look at anything at all. It was

43:37

really difficult, very strange. The stuff

43:40

they put on the television now,

43:42

even I can't keep up with it. Honestly, makes my life seem very

43:44

dull and uninteresting, but there you go. It's always

43:46

been a bit dull and

43:48

uninteresting. What else we got here?

43:50

We got Oh, the jingle bell

43:52

ball, Becky Hill, showed her

43:54

metal as she performed at London's o

43:56

two arena last night. They'll all be coming in with

43:58

heavy heads this morning. I could go

43:59

to be like that, not

44:02

me. But they were all there,

44:04

mister Jam and Friends and

44:07

oh, George Ezra. Green, green, grass, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,

44:09

blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You must have frozen to

44:12

death out there the other day. It was

44:14

so so

44:16

cold. So so cold.

44:18

What else we got?

44:20

Taylor Swift, terrified for

44:22

own safety, apparently eco sellers have

44:24

leaked details of her travel plans. But there's

44:26

loads of people who've got people's travel plans written down. Don't worry

44:29

about it. If you worry about it, then,

44:31

you know, life is not worth living

44:33

because you can't go out side,

44:35

you can't do anything because you worry

44:37

about people following your doing bits and

44:39

pieces like that. Craig says,

44:42

Tesco has already get my cullen

44:44

skink from. Well, you should try the Marks and

44:46

Spencer's had a child. It it

44:48

really is lovely. It's a

44:50

good thick soup potato

44:52

and and bits of of haddock. It's very

44:54

nice indeed. I like it. Which is

44:56

what I thought that this one was really good. I

44:58

like I like a fresh soup. I used

45:00

to use the Covent Garden Soup Company, but Mark's and Spencer's

45:02

do they, in fact, they had a Christmas

45:04

one the other day, which was

45:08

quite nice. Because I like it. You can't beat soup

45:10

and a baguette. You know,

45:12

we've got butter inside which you can dunk in the

45:14

soup. I mean, that's just the ultimate,

45:16

isn't it? You can just

45:18

dunk the baguette in there, the other

45:20

one. It's the only time I actually approve of

45:22

dunking. Normally, I don't approve of

45:24

dunking. If somebody I was where was I the other

45:26

day? Somebody was sort of saying to me, oh, look, I'm

45:28

going to Dunk a chocolate biscuit.

45:30

It was you. Was it was it you?

45:32

Dunking a chocolate biscuit in a cup of

45:34

toast, horrified. In front of

45:36

me. Seriously, I had to go to

45:38

HR. I was traumatized. I said, I don't I don't

45:40

want to watch somebody dunking a chocolate

45:42

biscuit in tears, the ultimate in

45:44

bad manners. And it's not good. It is really

45:46

not, but different if you're doing

45:48

bread in a bowl

45:50

of in a bowl of soup soup.

45:52

Especially Heinz tomato soup, that's particularly good. You get you get your baguette.

45:54

We're finding that just some torpedo rolls,

45:56

and they do lovely torpedo rolls.

45:58

They just look like an oval like

46:02

torpedo. And

46:04

and they do little ones pack of twelve, butter

46:06

them, cut them in half, put a little

46:08

bit of butter and then dump

46:10

dunk them. Or failing that if you really wanna liven up a soup, swirl

46:13

of cream. Swirl of cream,

46:15

it's fantastic. I'll I'll do

46:17

that on a lot. Of soups.

46:19

I haven't done it on the habit chowder, but I think I might try it today. I might get it

46:21

because I think there is there is

46:23

no worry about you

46:26

know, for some reason, a bow

46:30

tie. You got

46:32

okay. the You

46:34

got a gift from your mom. Oh, that's

46:36

nice, Henry. That's it. Do you

46:38

wanna show me what it is? Oh, here we

46:41

go. I've got a gift from our

46:44

Henry's our Henry's mom

46:46

because I've got a gift for Henry as

46:48

well. I've got a gift for you

46:50

too love. You're a little bit

46:52

smart to swallow. Why are you smart? Kiss Thomas

46:55

in. Oh, wow. Oh,

46:58

I know. You know, I can't believe

47:00

we were just talking about colored skink.

47:02

We were just at two tens. I've

47:04

got a a thing for you.

47:06

Is it Colin Skink? It's not Colin Skink. No. Go to

47:09

light, I'm doing. Oh, thank

47:11

you very well. There we go. Not gonna tell

47:13

you what it is either. A

47:16

swabstie. Bit of a swabstie. Oh, thank your mom very much. Colin

47:19

Skilogue. Oh, can't, but we were

47:21

talking about this earlier on. And Henry,

47:23

who sent to produce Nick

47:25

Ferrari, breakfast show, Colin skink,

47:28

creamy smoked haddock chowder.

47:30

Oh, how delicious? How delicious?

47:35

Very nice indeed. Thank

47:37

you, Henry's mom. It was like things

47:39

like that. Is that is that funny? We

47:41

were just talking

47:41

about it. And

47:42

I've got a Christmas card as well. People are very people

47:44

are very generous to me. Nothing from

47:47

the producer I hate them to

47:49

add. season's greetings from Pam.

47:52

She says, I expect you've been

47:54

inundated with this pam been sober.

47:56

No. No.

47:58

I haven't. This is it. I like the can

47:59

though. Why

48:00

can't wait? Can't wait? That's

48:03

my breakfast sorted out. Just

48:06

eat just need to go and get

48:08

the the the rolls as well for it. How lovely? Thank

48:10

you, Pam very much. It's very sweet.

48:14

Very, very sweet. I wish I had been in a dating with him. I could have

48:16

shared it with a producer, but I insult him.

48:19

Don't really care. Sean says

48:21

went to the pub last night and

48:24

discovered that many cheddas have

48:26

more fat and salt than scampy

48:28

fries.

48:28

the Yeah. Yes.

48:30

I mean, seriously, seriously, bad.

48:32

Seriously bad.

48:33

Woke at four.

48:36

You taught me into a cup

48:38

of tea. Says

48:40

Jane, while there you go. And a shout out for

48:42

the wildlife, please put food out for them says

48:44

Maggie. They they survived

48:46

quite nice otherwise, we'd be surrounded by dead wildlife,

48:48

but we're not. You know,

48:50

pigeons thrive on all

48:52

the fast food that's dumped all

48:54

over the place. They've got That's why pigeons are

48:56

so fat. Steve,

48:58

I spent fifteen minutes clearing

49:00

my car of snow Another fifteen clearing

49:03

my milk delivery van says Steve the milkman,

49:05

I decided to abandon all hope. The good people

49:07

of Muswell Hill will understand hopefully

49:09

or better don't. Bet that don't Kim says, did you not

49:11

like the Baxter's Colin skink? No. I haven't

49:14

had it yet. I thought it

49:16

was

49:17

okay, says Kim.

49:19

Baxter. Haines Timato suit,

49:22

the old faithful love the bones. Yeah. No.

49:24

I've only just got it. I think the tins look

49:26

really posh. I think this is so

49:28

exciting. Look at the producers rubbing his hands

49:30

whereas in fact nothing to do with him.

49:32

Is it no. He hasn't even

49:34

got a Christmas tree

49:36

this year. Whereas I've shown him mine, and he was very

49:38

impressed. It looks nice, isn't it? It looked

49:40

very, very pretty. And if anything was, I'll tell you

49:42

what I did on Sunday. Was it

49:44

Sunday, Saturday?

49:46

Went out to do some the market in

49:48

Kingston. I went to get some chocolates

49:51

and bits and pieces from

49:54

Richmond. From my friend Carlo has got a chocolate shop and a clothes

49:56

shop and an ice cream shop. People

49:58

eat ice cream. You go to any

50:01

European country, in the winter, they'll eat ice cream. It's only

50:04

us who go, oh, no, it's just for the summer. He

50:06

sells ice cream all year

50:08

round. And and I had a brass

50:10

band playing. And they were

50:12

literally just outside Marks and Spencer in

50:14

Kingston. So I sat down on a

50:16

bench and it was the

50:18

Salvation Army. And they

50:20

were playing little bits of carrols and everything else.

50:22

And I love listening to a brass band and I

50:24

sat there thinking, you know, life does

50:26

not get any better. And yes, I did

50:28

put some money in their tin. Quite a bit of money actually, but it

50:31

was it was really nice. I was sort

50:33

of singing along to myself. You

50:35

know, as you do, and they were playing all the all

50:37

the favorite Carols and Christmas tunes. And I

50:40

thought, you know, as a skill to this,

50:42

you know, a skill, and it

50:44

was very festive and it was very nice and it made me feel a bit

50:46

more before Christmas y

50:48

than I did before. Now the tree's up

50:51

and I've never got me with me Baxter's

50:53

color and skink. I love the way

50:55

Pam, who is Henry's my next to

50:57

bring it to Stitch You have to carry this all the way

50:59

from home. It can only be that family. Aren't

51:01

it? Which is lovely. Anyway, we'll take a short

51:03

break to the news at five. I'll be

51:06

back with you in

51:08

three. On your

51:10

radio, on

51:11

global player.

51:13

And Play. LVC.

51:16

Leading Britain's conversation,

51:19

this is LVC.

51:28

This is LVC from

51:30

global, leading

51:32

Britain's Congress nation with

51:36

Steve Allen.

51:40

Full name

51:40

nice to be company. Welcome to Monday.

51:42

I know. I know. I know. There's snow.

51:44

The M25 is at a standstill.

51:48

I don't know why it's at a standstill. I'm assuming it can't just

51:50

be the snow. It's probably the heavyweight of

51:52

traffic. So between twenty three

51:55

and twenty four, Actually,

51:57

it's moving between twenty four and twenty five

51:59

now. It's a bit slow, but it's not

52:02

as bad as it was. It's

52:04

not as bad as if if I'm interpreting the

52:06

national highways. Latest

52:08

traffic information because

52:10

it's it is you

52:12

can see that anti

52:15

clockwise better than clockwise. Yes.

52:18

We think that's how it is. And then looking at

52:20

the rest of it. Once you get past twenty

52:22

five, you should be okay going in

52:24

one direction. Twenty six should be clear after

52:27

twenty six and then you're

52:29

you're clean through to wherever you're going

52:31

to. So that's not too bad.

52:33

And in fact, around St.

52:36

Albans, you're all clear. So it's twenty

52:38

three really through

52:40

to twenty

52:42

twenty three, twenty four, twenty five, twenty six, something like that. Then after

52:44

that, it eases. It does get better.

52:46

I know you're probably to

52:49

death of her and me say that for you, but it it does

52:51

get better. So, I mean, you will actually you

52:54

will be able to get through it. It's just it's just

52:56

a pain, isn't it? It is such a pain. I'm

52:58

so sorry for anybody who's sort of, you know,

53:01

who's suffering in it. I don't know if it's still coming down

53:03

with snow. I don't know what the what

53:05

the forecast is whether the snow continues. I thought it

53:07

was gonna be with us for about

53:10

the next sort of three or four

53:12

days, something like that. That's what I thought it was

53:14

going to be. Did I tell you it

53:16

was here on Christmas Day? I think I did actually. And Boxing Day and New Year's Day as

53:18

well. So every doesn't snow over

53:20

those. Nothing worse. My

53:22

car gets filthy dirty

53:24

underneath it. It's alright for a white

53:26

Christmas, but largely not going outside in the

53:28

Blooming stuff. You know, when we

53:30

were kids, We don't do. This is up in

53:32

Scotland. My god, it's coming down. Isn't it really? This

53:34

is over Braemar, the Arctic

53:36

air bringing

53:38

sort of several weather.

53:40

I can't even spell severe can though

53:43

to Scotland. So

53:45

this is the Oh, that was two days ago.

53:47

No. Pretty. From Argentina out in it is

53:50

brilliant. You know, it's like when we used

53:52

to sit coming down Christmas. If we were

53:54

lucky enough to see snow at Christmas, I haven't seen it

53:56

that much. He looked out the window and, you

53:58

know, one minute, it was sort of coming down and the

53:59

next minute. Like

54:02

an avalanche. I remember being in

54:04

Vienna one year when it

54:06

snowed, a budget snows most year over there. And

54:08

it came it's

54:10

like rain Literally, there was tons of it, and most

54:12

of Vienna is on

54:14

hills. And so it's it's a bit difficult trying

54:16

to get cars up and down

54:18

things. And there will be a lot

54:20

of people who've never driven in snow

54:22

before. So just

54:24

be careful especially if you're elderly, be very careful of of

54:26

walking out in it because it might

54:28

just look a bit slushy, but underneath that

54:30

is ice.

54:32

Because it's still freezing cold.

54:34

The walrus, nicknamed Thore,

54:36

has made a UK beach

54:40

at home, but locals have been warned to stay away from it. It was found

54:42

yesterday morning. It's two ton. It

54:44

weighs the same as my car.

54:47

It's two tons. It's I mean, how they know that? I've got no

54:49

idea what they do. Take a pair of scales out there and say, if you

54:51

wouldn't mind thought just this way, thank

54:54

you. Rest yourself

54:56

on it. And it's lounging about it. Hold

54:58

itself onto the shingle. The coast

55:00

guard have set up

55:02

a cordon stop

55:04

visitors from disrupting his

55:06

rest. And the British

55:08

diver's marine life rescue said he should

55:10

have no

55:12

disturbance approaching could cause him distress. You know, there's still

55:14

gonna be stupid people, aren't they? You can just

55:16

I could just tell. He's known to

55:18

have also visited the Netherlands and France

55:22

Wars is growing up to four meters long and live for more than forty

55:24

years. Mostly live in the Arctic Circle,

55:26

although several have been spotted in

55:29

in recent years. So the more people that leave it

55:32

alone, the better chance it has of

55:34

surviving because they don't like

55:36

getting stressed. I don't know

55:38

if they've got big brains or little brains, but I suspect it's probably little brains, but

55:40

they're huge, absolutely huge.

55:46

Chris Kamara has revealed he feels embarrassed

55:48

following his diagnosis with speech,

55:50

as Praxya. Death in

55:52

paradise is a Ralph Little. Says bright

55:54

sunshine of the show's fictional Caribbean island, Saint Marie takes

55:56

a little bit of getting used to it Christmas.

55:59

It's that thing, isn't it, where people sort

56:01

of, you know, in in Sydney.

56:03

We've spoken about this before where, you know, people Australia have sunshine

56:06

on Christmas day, and I can't work out

56:08

that out at all. I think it's got to

56:10

be cold. Friendfriend

56:12

was on a cruise ship, and he he wrote on his Twitter and said, you

56:14

know, here I am. He said, I'm looking at all

56:16

these pictures of the snow in the United Kingdom. He

56:18

said, it makes me homesick. And

56:21

I thought, well, it probably would, but if you'd fall in a note,

56:23

I remember coming back, I'd been out on a New Year's Eve.

56:25

Don't get back forty

56:28

years ago. In the days when I used to go out, in fact, more than forty years ago. I used to

56:30

go out on a New Year's Eve, some friends of mine had go

56:32

out. And unfortunately, you have more than a

56:34

few drinks. And then you stagger

56:36

home and unfortunately spend most of your time on your

56:38

knees because you fall

56:40

over. You're literally, I I

56:42

do two

56:44

two steps and then fall over again. And it ceases

56:46

to be funny after about the third time. You know,

56:48

first time you do it,

56:50

second time you do it, Ow,

56:52

it hurts. And you get in and you

56:54

got bruised knees and all the bits

56:56

and pieces are going wrong with

56:58

you. Dreary old

57:00

Jemma Collins She says, I know the real meaning of

57:02

Christmas. Yeah. We've seen the gag love. It

57:04

doesn't work anymore. They called you on

57:06

big brother. A nasty little

57:08

bully and that's the way it

57:10

goes. And so here she was

57:12

out and she says

57:14

it's not secret that growing up, we didn't even have

57:16

a toaster. I came from a poor background. This, we didn't even have a toaster.

57:18

Darling, nobody had a

57:22

toaster. Nobody

57:24

had toasters because they

57:26

weren't invented. You put your

57:28

bread and you put it under the

57:30

grill. That's how it was done. Very

57:33

boring, but she's apparently now all about

57:35

peace, love, and realness. Yeah. The more

57:37

dreary it becomes, the worse it

57:39

becomes, I'm afraid. Various

57:42

people, Gareth Malone was on the same program,

57:44

Joe Thomas, Melvin O'Dume,

57:46

Inca Bookini, Lawrence Lovelin,

57:48

Bowen, and

57:50

Superkins. All marginally more interesting than Jemma

57:52

Collins, I'm afraid. We've seen the act.

57:54

I'm not interested anymore. Thank you very

57:58

much indeed. That's the best she could get. she

58:00

is dancing for a life,

58:02

skeleton, scramble for

58:04

the final And

58:06

the judges there was sort of

58:08

saying she did very, very well. So that's that's

58:10

good news for her. I was watching

58:12

a program about farms actually. They

58:15

don't want chickens was that, no, it's

58:17

live on the life on the farm

58:19

or live on the farm or something. It

58:21

was quite good and they were sort of

58:23

trying to work out what to go

58:25

into, whether they should keep cows or whether they should do

58:27

some I can't remember what they were doing. I think it

58:29

might have been

58:32

they were doing cows because they brought in a bull to service

58:34

them. And they they sort

58:36

of ended up with they started off with

58:38

ten and now they've got god knows

58:42

how many. Whatever it was, it was very good actually, very good

58:44

indeed. And I quite like that summer on the farm,

58:46

winter on the farm might have been. I

58:48

think Helen's Skelton was on it as

58:50

well, but it must have been filmed ages ago.

58:52

Mustn't it? But I thought it was

58:54

live. I'm pretty certain that's what they

58:56

said. I thought they said live

58:58

on it. So perhaps in between these sort of the dancing. Perhaps you can

59:00

do something like that. But there's DVDs out and

59:02

everything else.

59:04

And born mucky

59:06

life on the farm.

59:08

TV TV series. But it's, I

59:10

mean, it's great. But I mean, oh, the hell that wanna

59:12

be out there when it's freezing cold.

59:15

Phrasing cut you. It's not that you can sort of look out the

59:17

window and go, I think I'll stay in bed.

59:19

That's not gonna happen. Is it because you've gotta feed

59:21

the animals? You've gotta you know, they've all

59:23

gotta be milked You know, cows can't just sort of go out

59:25

there without being me. You can't leave them. They

59:28

have to be milked. It's as simple

59:30

as that. Yeah. I

59:32

mean, you got the worst thing is when they have to

59:34

check them, they have to put their hand in their

59:36

bottoms and check how many

59:38

carbs they're holding. I got to just do an

59:40

x-ray like normal people. I

59:42

think it's so much easier, wouldn't it?

59:44

They are No. They do they do have an x-ray

59:46

for sheep. They put them through a thing

59:48

and they didn't go to and they write two on it or three or four or whatever it happens

59:50

to be, but they don't do it with cows. I

59:52

thought it looked a bit messy.

59:55

And I don't I don't do the messy sign. I want it all to be sort

59:57

of pretty and green and not muddy and

59:59

and all the rest of it because

1:00:02

otherwise, it just looks a

1:00:04

bit yucky. But that's what you have to

1:00:06

do. So you have to do. And then, of course, you

1:00:08

have to send them to fuck. You have to

1:00:10

go to market. And that's when they

1:00:12

don't come back again. Yeah. it's

1:00:14

awful, really. But that's that's what happens.

1:00:16

I know people have always said to me, you

1:00:18

know, if you watched,

1:00:20

you know, a farm and it

1:00:22

was meat to table, you'd

1:00:24

probably go vegetarian, I should

1:00:26

imagine. Steve,

1:00:28

the childer, who's amazing, as is

1:00:31

the Malikatorene, Though last week, it was two for five quid and

1:00:33

today it's five fifty. The prices keep

1:00:35

going up. Everything the prices

1:00:38

go up. There's

1:00:40

nothing nothing you know, nowadays that doesn't go up, petrols

1:00:42

up, floating around all over the place.

1:00:44

And every time I go to buy something, I say, I'm

1:00:46

sure it was cheaper the other week, but because I

1:00:48

didn't make note of

1:00:50

it. It it it

1:00:52

probably was cheaper the other week.

1:00:54

The range at Cruises Hill and Enfield, they'll be taking

1:00:56

my own sandwiches and the Flask of

1:00:58

soups heads Oh, that's where

1:01:00

one is, is it? Apparently,

1:01:02

apparently, Azda are offering Super

1:01:04

Roll for a quid and free tea to all of the over

1:01:06

sixties in December, and you can stay in

1:01:08

the cafe. Says Alexandra

1:01:10

from Surrey. Yes, I'd heard about that actually.

1:01:12

Heard about that. So it's super

1:01:14

new role for a quid for free TV

1:01:16

over sixties. When I get to over sixty, I'll let you

1:01:19

know. I can go there and it'd

1:01:21

be nice, wouldn't it? William had

1:01:23

a a weighted blanket on the bed for

1:01:25

the last year. What's a weighted blanket? I've never heard

1:01:27

of a weighted blanket. Interesting.

1:01:30

Interesting. Weighted blanket. Kevin

1:01:32

says loving the show, no snow

1:01:34

in Chichester. And black eyes

1:01:36

everywhere. When did you see Jim Davidson

1:01:38

hosting a comedy night

1:01:40

on seuss' pier visit? Jimmy

1:01:42

Jones, Bobby Davros, some of the acts very

1:01:44

funny night. Yes. I

1:01:46

can imagine what that must have been like. I

1:01:48

can only hazard a guess. Only

1:01:50

hazard a guess. Steve, why we stopped having

1:01:52

public information films when I was

1:01:54

growing up There were things like the green cross coat man, don't talk to

1:01:56

strangers, learn to swim, and I'm sure there was one about

1:01:58

going on to frozen lakes or

1:01:59

ponds. I think they were great for keeping children

1:02:02

safe, says

1:02:04

David, Yes. We used to get them at school. We used to

1:02:06

get the school governors coming in and they go, I'm

1:02:08

going to award you an extra day's holiday.

1:02:10

We'd all go, it's the

1:02:13

same every year. And they'd always show us a film about

1:02:15

Jesus being found in the barn, which we

1:02:18

all enjoyed. And then you'd see public

1:02:20

information films and

1:02:22

it was We used to have them on

1:02:24

the television as well, don't go swimming in the sea. If there's red flags up, don't go swimming in the

1:02:26

sea weighted blankets. I'll therapeutic

1:02:30

blankets, the way between five and thirty

1:02:32

pounds, the pressure. From the

1:02:34

extra weight mimics a

1:02:36

therapeutic technique called deep pressure

1:02:38

stimulation or pressure therapy. Deep pressure

1:02:41

stimulation uses pressure relax

1:02:44

nervous system. It models the experience of

1:02:46

being held or hugged. I don't like

1:02:48

that. I don't want to be held or hugged. Thank you

1:02:50

very much indeed. Rather have the

1:02:52

blanket. And that's what it does for you is it

1:02:54

relieves the perception of pain,

1:02:56

relieves symptoms of anxiety,

1:02:58

improved sleep quality,

1:03:00

and relieves Symptoms of depression? Are they gonna suffer with

1:03:02

any of those? So

1:03:04

I shall't be getting a

1:03:06

weighted blanket. I

1:03:08

still like the idea of a hot I might get a hot water bottle. I

1:03:10

have had them, but I throw them away if they

1:03:12

start getting to and I don't have anything particularly

1:03:16

old. But they do a lovely big long hot water bottle, which is

1:03:18

like it's about three feet long and

1:03:20

it goes down the side of your body.

1:03:23

It's really nice actually. Very, very nice indeed. So I might have to go

1:03:25

back and for some reason, they sell them in

1:03:27

garden centers. Don't know why.

1:03:30

Steve, depending on your journey says

1:03:32

Jane, you can come off potters Bar twenty

1:03:34

five weave your way back onto m twenty

1:03:36

five to another m twenty five junction

1:03:38

going clockwise. Thank you. Thank

1:03:41

you. Leading Britain's

1:03:43

conversation, LBC, with Steve

1:03:46

Hallum. Morning,

1:03:48

nice to

1:03:48

be company. It's Monday morning, traffic

1:03:51

everywhere busy and still snowing in little parts of

1:03:53

the country. And what you're looking

1:03:56

at now is the

1:03:58

Black Ice. So watch your speed, put your lights

1:04:00

on, make sure everything's right. I'm sure I

1:04:02

just renamed Joanne a

1:04:04

moment ago actually for

1:04:06

some reason. I think she's from

1:04:08

home. I think she must be from home

1:04:10

because it was it's it sounded

1:04:12

like Joanne, but it can always tell what it looks like

1:04:14

because out her way, there must be

1:04:16

tons of snow. We're traveling

1:04:18

says that Shane, from

1:04:20

nottingham to London for afternoon tea,

1:04:22

the ritz With Carol singers on Saturday having to

1:04:24

come by Karl now, do you think we should

1:04:27

cancel? No. Absolutely not. Absolutely

1:04:29

not. No. Never cancel anything.

1:04:31

Unless it's absolutely necessary. Unless

1:04:33

it's absolutely necessary, you should

1:04:35

be fine. You should be fine. Can you wish me

1:04:37

luck? I'm about to drive my bus

1:04:40

says in snowy Essex says bus

1:04:42

driver shell, tall shell. I

1:04:44

don't envy you driving a bus. I was missing

1:04:46

a thing on YouTube ages ago, and

1:04:48

it was one of these

1:04:50

dustbin lorries, and it was on a hill,

1:04:52

unfortunately. And it was covered with ice,

1:04:54

and he he loaded up the back of it,

1:04:56

and then he started to go

1:04:58

down the hill very slowly, but unfortunately the back

1:05:00

started to slide around. And

1:05:02

I thought, no, no,

1:05:04

please not. Then he hit a few cars, which wasn't so

1:05:07

good. So good luck, Shell. Good

1:05:09

luck. Cats says, it

1:05:11

is live winter on the farm. Helen

1:05:13

was there a Monday choose today, and then she

1:05:15

took Wednesday, Thursday, Friday to concentrate on the dancing. It's a good program, though, no. I

1:05:17

quite like it. I like things about farms. I just don't wanna

1:05:19

see the messy

1:05:22

stuff. I don't want to see the message stuff

1:05:24

at all. I like that family where the husband

1:05:26

and wife split up. And but

1:05:28

the family because they're doing they're

1:05:30

not using a family set the oldest boy, Ruben

1:05:33

and his dad. And they're gonna

1:05:35

do a follow-up type program because Ruben's

1:05:37

got a girlfriend. Look

1:05:39

at that. Hey. Look at that. I thought

1:05:41

they were really good actually. Steve, on the way down the a three to

1:05:43

collect some game birds, so you'll find loads of

1:05:46

game birds.

1:05:48

Kevin Ollie. Al de la la,

1:05:50

loads of them. And some

1:05:52

pheasant, some pigeons. It's

1:05:54

death looking a lot like Christmas. It's

1:05:56

a total winter wonderland. It's so beautiful,

1:05:58

isn't it? You just don't wanna drive in it

1:06:01

because it's swimming freezing and it's dangerous, but

1:06:03

you're right. It looks it looks

1:06:05

stunningly beautiful. I was gonna

1:06:07

send some pictures. So my friend,

1:06:09

Ian, will see them over in ever in

1:06:12

Dallas. Who shot

1:06:14

JR. Who shot JR. So

1:06:16

Kevin, the restaurateur cat in

1:06:19

style says, like, I remember the big freeze up of sixty two, sixty

1:06:21

three. Now that really was cold. Cradling a

1:06:24

cup of hot tea whilst

1:06:26

listening to. Thick Frost in

1:06:28

Southern Goldfield

1:06:30

had to scrape the car windscreen with extra

1:06:32

vigor half a day at the office today.

1:06:34

As I have study leave this afternoon to finish my latest assignment from my

1:06:37

NBA feeling very christmasy. Yeah. I

1:06:39

think the moment it snows, it's

1:06:41

you feel christmasy. I

1:06:44

think that's that's what it is. Isn't he? You can't wait to get your tree up, you

1:06:46

know, and put your balls on it and,

1:06:48

you know, it looks it looks nice. It

1:06:52

looks very Although the one in the office, I don't wanna be rude about it.

1:06:54

But to be honest with you, it must be the saddest

1:06:56

Christmas tree I've ever seen in my entire

1:06:58

life. It must have been the last tree

1:07:00

left in

1:07:02

the shop. About fifteen years ago. And somebody said,

1:07:04

let's put that in the LBC office because I came

1:07:06

in. It's obviously been pushed up against

1:07:08

a wall at some point because the back of it's

1:07:10

quite flat. It's an artificial

1:07:12

tree because I don't I don't think anybody's

1:07:14

got real trees in the in the

1:07:16

building. I think everybody's got artificial but ours

1:07:18

is really quite fun. But it has got the

1:07:20

most amount of balls on it.

1:07:22

They must have been saving them up

1:07:24

over the years. It's got a lot of five hundred

1:07:26

balls on the street. It's only about four

1:07:28

foot tall. With a little set of

1:07:30

lights on. And then somebody has obviously stood on the table and sort of wired

1:07:32

lights into the ceiling panels.

1:07:36

Which is sort of quite nice. But then it kind of stops at my desk.

1:07:38

You know, the most christmasy person,

1:07:40

hello in the history of the English speaking world,

1:07:43

just call me the baby Jesus, you know, and

1:07:46

put put their crib down there and the

1:07:48

nativity and all the way. And it finishes

1:07:50

by my

1:07:52

desk. I'm very oh, it's leading to

1:07:55

me. Alright. It's like the

1:07:57

north It's like the

1:08:00

star. We have come to see the baby Steven. That's

1:08:02

right. We have come to see the baby. That's how it

1:08:04

works. Gosh. I should have realized that.

1:08:06

Shouldn't I? I know. I need not

1:08:08

just need to find a merry now, not too difficult.

1:08:10

And and maybe then we we

1:08:12

can sort of, you know, get the gold and the incense and

1:08:14

the mirror and book into the Bethlehem of Hilton.

1:08:17

Who the hell wants to stay in a blummin's

1:08:19

stable? Sorry, we all these gold. Why are you still Get yourself a duvet, an electric blanket, and

1:08:22

move into the bed for him

1:08:24

Hilton. They'll

1:08:26

have a nice breakfast for you. And then you've got these mad

1:08:28

people on camels turning up. We are the three

1:08:30

wise men from the east. Well, what

1:08:32

do you want? We brought presents. Well, what

1:08:35

were you brought? Have you brought sandwiches? Have brought Out the field,

1:08:39

there are shepherds. Tending the

1:08:41

sheep. You know, we'd have had one of those on a spit roast. I mean, good Lord of Bob. You could have

1:08:43

had the best barbecue going

1:08:48

ever. And they didn't. They didn't. It's every

1:08:50

turned up. And they even had, who is it? Was it Michelangelo

1:08:52

painted the ceiling for them?

1:08:54

And they still didn't move out

1:08:58

they just stayed there. They had this lovely scene.

1:09:00

It was for some reason.

1:09:03

For some reason, it was sort

1:09:05

of the story has changed a

1:09:07

bit over the years. But I still like I

1:09:09

still like I've played a Christmas Carol CD in the car the other day, and I

1:09:11

found myself singing along

1:09:14

to all of it. Every single bit of was only the old

1:09:16

songs. I didn't know any of the modern stuff.

1:09:19

I didn't know. I wasn't really bothered

1:09:21

about that. I just wanna

1:09:23

sing traditional stuff. You know, you

1:09:25

put the tree up at home, you know, producer a little bit iffy about, you know, we're not having a

1:09:27

tree this year, you because there's no we're

1:09:30

not gonna be there. What's the

1:09:32

point? What is the

1:09:34

point of having a tree? Well, you can get into the Christmas spirit here. I've shown you a tin of soup. What would

1:09:36

you want for goodness say? You should

1:09:38

be really quite excited by this. And

1:09:43

also your your I mean, I wonder, when you when you go away

1:09:45

then to France, would you be taking your

1:09:47

presence with you, or do you have

1:09:49

them before you go? You take them

1:09:52

with you. Oh, because

1:09:54

you drive. Oh, right. So you load up the car with your present. Right. Oh, that'd be nice. Well,

1:09:56

what have you asked for for this

1:09:58

year? Blum in socks again, I suppose.

1:10:02

A lot of books. Isn't funny? I said books the other day too. Didn't I?

1:10:04

I reckon that books would be very good. I

1:10:06

don't I don't know what you're gonna

1:10:09

do with them. Are they coloring in books? Or reading. Oh,

1:10:11

the reading books, can you do the words now? Unbeliev.

1:10:13

I'm so pleased. Could you do out loud?

1:10:16

I did out loud at school. I was the

1:10:18

only one who did out loud. Nobody else did

1:10:20

it. Every time they did out loud reading

1:10:22

in the classroom, I got I got to do it. So because I got to be put Why do you think

1:10:24

I became a news reader? I

1:10:26

was so good. I could read anything.

1:10:30

Even bluff me away through words, which was

1:10:32

good. Steve says Jenny, please say

1:10:35

hi to my son Mark, who's

1:10:37

on his way to work in

1:10:39

Cheltenham, and tell him to drive carefully in the snow. Well, I mean, to be honest with

1:10:41

you, I think I think that is Durigur. Is

1:10:43

it not Mandy and Chesham says

1:10:45

I've just brought a long

1:10:47

hot water bottle fully recommend it. We'll fill

1:10:49

it today whilst I have my homemade leek and potato soup. Oh, that

1:10:51

sounds quite nice, doesn't it?

1:10:54

And that says Tesco doing

1:10:56

half priced lamb. I bought three joints to my freezer, decided

1:10:58

to have AAA leg of lamb on Christmas day.

1:11:01

Frozen Turkey started

1:11:04

twenty quid. You know what they're doing

1:11:06

though? They're thawing them out and selling them as fresh. That's what they're doing now. So you have to be I

1:11:08

mean, hopefully, they

1:11:11

do put on it. It's

1:11:13

been sort of, you know, transformed Susie. Says currently on

1:11:15

our last day in Sydney, I always thought it'd be weird celebrating Christmas

1:11:17

in the sun, but

1:11:19

after being here, and

1:11:22

it being so christmasy everywhere. I wish I could stay single to snow post on social media. I UK

1:11:24

have never seen snow before.

1:11:26

No. No. We've never seen it.

1:11:31

Never seen snow before. There's loads of people who are driving. In this

1:11:33

country, we've never driven in snow, and you have to

1:11:35

be very careful. I remember going

1:11:37

in the car about ten years ago. And the driver quite

1:11:39

clearly had never driven in the snow. We go up

1:11:42

past the station. And then the other side, it

1:11:45

dips down a little bit. And he didn't slow down. And

1:11:47

I said, you need to slow down. I thought I was

1:11:49

being really pushy. I said, you need to slow down

1:11:52

and he he sort of mumbled

1:11:54

some of him. I mean, something like that. Anyway, we started a

1:11:56

slide. And I remember thinking, oh,

1:11:58

my goldfish. I'm gonna die in

1:12:00

the back of a

1:12:02

mini cab. But luckily I didn't. So I was okay

1:12:04

here to tell the tell, but you gotta be careful

1:12:06

you go around corners and the back of the car

1:12:08

can follow you around and the heavier

1:12:10

the car, the worse it is. Brian and

1:12:13

Bromley says I went to the first performance of Jack and the

1:12:15

Bean's talk at the palladium on Saturday afternoon.

1:12:19

Really polished show, great costume,

1:12:22

professional performances from the cast and real surprise regarding the beanstalk. I won't say what, but

1:12:25

just very small

1:12:28

or something. I've been

1:12:30

to the palladium pentamines. They are I mean, they're put this way, they're paying a fortune for the cast. Seriously,

1:12:36

a fortune and that's why the ticket. I

1:12:38

think it's the most expensive ticket for a panta mine in in London. Whereas you

1:12:40

can go outside of London and

1:12:42

spend, you know, fifteen ten quids

1:12:45

something like that on a ticket.

1:12:47

The palladium runs into If you're taking

1:12:50

a family hundreds, literally hundreds, it's very, very

1:12:52

expensive. Forget, you

1:12:54

know, if you're looking for, say, front

1:12:56

row, Saturday night, palladium, it's gonna gonna cost

1:12:58

you a small arm and a leg.

1:13:00

I shall find out a price

1:13:02

for you. But I've got every Donnie Osman,

1:13:05

that Julian Clary is in it, Paul Sirden, friend

1:13:07

of mine, Nigel Habers, Gary Willmott. Gary

1:13:11

is very good, he's he's giving. But there

1:13:13

you go. So and seat prices.

1:13:15

We've got seat prices for

1:13:18

it. There must be some seat prizes. Yeah. We should

1:13:20

find a minute of the producers just gearing

1:13:22

himself up for it. And then we can

1:13:24

tell you how much is gonna cost you. But

1:13:26

but good good for you for going. I think people should support theater. They've

1:13:29

had such a lean period over

1:13:31

the past few years. They

1:13:33

need people to go back to the theater. Once you've seen

1:13:35

a big West End show and a big

1:13:37

West End Pantama, and it didn't get

1:13:40

any bigger, than

1:13:42

the London Palladium Pantami. You know, it's

1:13:44

an all style cars, the costumes you

1:13:46

will be. Transfit kids love it, but a

1:13:48

lot of adults love them too. Because

1:13:50

it's mainly for adults nowadays. It's

1:13:52

like you're not finding the

1:13:55

prices. Oh, yeah. They

1:13:57

go

1:13:57

from twenty five pounds to

1:13:59

two hundred and five pounds. So it's it's

1:14:02

not cheap. Not cheap. Daryl

1:14:04

says, from a

1:14:07

snowy e spawn, Tried to go to Morrison's

1:14:09

yesterday to indicate the special midsbury's been instead my other half wanted to go to the Burger Van outside

1:14:12

being queue, which

1:14:15

was opposite side of the road. Sadly,

1:14:17

I was coerced into eating a hotdog to resume my mission today

1:14:20

or can't beat a hotdog, can

1:14:22

you? On a on a cold

1:14:24

day, It's it's

1:14:26

lovely. It's lovely. Kevin says Kevin is the ex pat. He says, good morning,

1:14:31

Steve and team. And

1:14:34

that's how they're they're class now, isn't it? I always love it when you get people coming on the phones, and they always always

1:14:36

stop it. Don't

1:14:39

high five, honestly. You

1:14:42

get somebody coming on saying, I was saying to your researcher.

1:14:44

You think, who's that? Where does

1:14:46

that person come from? The

1:14:49

researcher. Rome today

1:14:52

says, Kev. We have a high of eighteen degrees. So

1:14:54

unfortunately, no chance of snow. I'm feeling very jealous. Look at all the pictures being sent to me

1:14:56

by my friends and family

1:14:58

back in good old London. Exactly.

1:15:01

And David in Schropshire says my mom and dad would always

1:15:03

have a nap King Cole playing on Christmas Day. What a

1:15:05

voice? I've got Andy Williams playing in

1:15:07

the car at the moment. Andy

1:15:10

Williams, big fan, big big

1:15:13

fan. And here

1:15:16

we go. James

1:15:18

in Snow clad old windsor. Snow

1:15:20

clad old windsor. It's lovely down there

1:15:22

and then. So can you settle an

1:15:24

argument over the weekend, a friend of

1:15:26

myself were chatting about your show? As people

1:15:29

do, people constantly talk about the show. And I said I was sure some years ago,

1:15:31

he had a guy on the show who was a

1:15:34

computer and techy expert.

1:15:36

He swears you never did. Yes,

1:15:38

I've had quite a few. I've had quite a few. I've had the gadget guru,

1:15:41

Darren, and I've never

1:15:43

had will guide. No.

1:15:46

Never had Will God. I mean, he's my cousin.

1:15:48

He's my cousin, but he's never been on the

1:15:50

program. Oh, funny. It's been voted the other day and

1:15:53

said, no, he's not. It went excuse me. I think

1:15:55

you'd find I know who the family are. Goodness.

1:15:57

So, honestly. So, yes, I

1:15:59

mean,

1:15:59

and Pepsi, was also

1:16:02

on my program. So I've had I've had

1:16:04

quite a few actually. David and Ronford says I paid

1:16:06

three seventy, three hundred and seventy pounds for two tickets.

1:16:09

Is that for the Palladium Pantami? See, the trouble is, I mean, I know it seems an awful lot

1:16:11

of money, but it it you do get your value on

1:16:13

the stage. You've got all the

1:16:15

big stars up there. It

1:16:19

is the London Palladium. You are in the middle of

1:16:21

London. It's packed. London is absolutely

1:16:24

heaving at the moment. It

1:16:26

really is and there'll be people falling over and everything.

1:16:28

Me, especially, actually. Chris

1:16:30

says good morning. My tea

1:16:33

towel arrived on Saturday, too nice

1:16:35

to use. Victoria down to the Canary Islands

1:16:37

for the twenty third of December from. Hope

1:16:39

we can get you on the radio.

1:16:41

Yes, you can. And I'm gonna tell

1:16:44

you again And I'm

1:16:46

gonna do it after the news. What do you need to do? Because in four days time, things are gonna

1:16:48

change, and I don't want you to miss

1:16:50

the podcasting. I told you that I need

1:16:52

you. To

1:16:55

podcast the program because we are the third

1:16:58

biggest podcast available at

1:17:00

global radio. And I'll tell you

1:17:02

how you need to change things.

1:17:04

And it's very easy. Mister Neil's

1:17:07

done it, and he thought he he couldn't, but he did.

1:17:10

Steve, hello. On LVC. Text 84850

1:17:13

Morning. Nice to be company. Twenty six

1:17:15

and a half minutes

1:17:17

to six on

1:17:20

a cold shivering Monday morning, and if you're

1:17:22

still sitting on the M25, it does move. It's just a little bit slow. Don't you all

1:17:24

sometimes sit there? I know I did

1:17:26

it the other day at traffic lights.

1:17:29

And you're sitting about five cars back. And, you know, the lights change and

1:17:31

still the person sitting at the traffic lights. And you're

1:17:34

shouting through the windscreen,

1:17:36

move. And

1:17:39

then just as you get to lights, they change. So you

1:17:41

have to stop, which is not so

1:17:43

good. Shane

1:17:43

says beauty in

1:17:45

the beast, is coming back to Sydney next year. I

1:17:48

might book tickets. Yeah, you should. It's very

1:17:50

good. I saw it at the Dominion Theatre

1:17:52

some years ago. Chris says,

1:17:54

oh, we've done that. I mean, the tea towel is sailing off on the Queen Victoria. Lovely. And

1:17:56

somebody says, hope you're not driving this week. We don't want

1:17:58

the Bentley covered in grit. I don't think

1:17:59

we've got only

1:18:03

grit. We haven't had any grit on our roads at the moment because

1:18:05

it came down as a bit of a surprise. My

1:18:07

friend, Lynn, sent

1:18:10

me a bit of footage. She said, eight thirty. It's snowing. And

1:18:12

when I looked out the window, it

1:18:14

wasn't actually snowing and then blow me

1:18:17

down by the time I'd actually

1:18:19

got myself ready and and tiddled off

1:18:21

downstairs. It was snowing and it was coming down. Did you had

1:18:23

it with? Did

1:18:27

you do? Oh, it's the terrible.

1:18:28

Yeah. I haven't had to scrape a

1:18:30

windscreen yet because mine heats up

1:18:34

really quickly. I don't know whether it's sort of permanently hot or something, but

1:18:36

it's you put the heating on the windscreen and then

1:18:38

you sort of push it into the car and it's

1:18:40

so much. But because

1:18:41

otherwise, you sit there and your bits and

1:18:43

pieces are frozen. And so I

1:18:45

thought, no. Let's get some heat in the car going. It was lovely. It was lovely. I'm

1:18:47

sure it's cheaper to heat the

1:18:48

car than it is

1:18:51

to heat the place.

1:18:53

the place I don't know

1:18:54

why. I just I just think it is actually.

1:18:56

It was quite nice. So I was driving around just with

1:18:59

the heater on. And he could tell me when he

1:19:01

get out of the car, he said, no. I'm blaming

1:19:03

freezing it is. Terrible. So if you're stuck

1:19:05

on the motorway, you have my

1:19:07

my sympathies, but we'll we'll

1:19:09

try and get you there

1:19:11

as quick as as

1:19:13

quick as possible. What excitement do we got today? I I love the way when he eats his food, he sort

1:19:15

of brings out something and it's sort of it's something that

1:19:18

generally comes in a plastic

1:19:20

pot. And

1:19:22

it's it's generally. It's not as good

1:19:24

as Colin skink. I have to tell

1:19:26

you. And me and the wife says

1:19:28

Sam went to watch the Pantomime in

1:19:30

woking at the weekend with Brian

1:19:32

Connolly. It was fantastic, especially a bit when

1:19:34

he came out as as danger dangerous

1:19:38

Brian brought out so many childhood memories. Everybody

1:19:40

should support the local pantomime. Oh,

1:19:42

we love Brian Connolly.

1:19:44

We love Brian Brian. Definitely.

1:19:46

He's see, the trouble is he's a past master of pentamine. He really is. Glyn says,

1:19:48

is Pete the tall man? Pete the ice rink man?

1:19:50

This time of year, what do you mean?

1:19:55

Might be after today. I don't know, actually. I don't know how you service

1:19:58

them when it's when it sort of freezes

1:19:59

over. I remember a friend of mine,

1:20:02

he

1:20:02

was very high up at a record

1:20:04

company. And

1:20:05

he bought a house at Klappen. This is some years ago, and he

1:20:07

he felt he said, would you like to come

1:20:10

around for a swim? But

1:20:13

it's in the middle of winter. We got

1:20:15

snow And I a swim. said, said, I've a pool put in.

1:20:19

And I went, Okay. And

1:20:21

so I went around there and there was about

1:20:23

half a dozen of us. And

1:20:26

the pool was heated

1:20:29

to bath temperature. There was steam coming off it.

1:20:31

And so we walked all the way

1:20:33

around the outside of the

1:20:35

pool was ice. And

1:20:37

snow. And then you get in the pool, I mean, you could have given me a loof, and a bar of

1:20:39

soap, and I'd have been quite happy. It was

1:20:44

absolutely unbelievable. And there's all

1:20:46

these pictures made because I'd had a few drinks and I sort of leapt in. And I remember thinking,

1:20:48

oh, god, I'll probably die in

1:20:50

this thing. And it was just

1:20:54

so hot. It was really lovely.

1:20:56

So thank you. Ian Cardiff says instead

1:20:58

of buying all my nieces and nephews

1:21:00

Christmas presents this year, we've taken

1:21:02

the BC Snow White at the Cardiff New Theatre, sixteen of

1:21:05

them. And after booking, I

1:21:07

got an email telling me

1:21:09

it's Jack in the Bates

1:21:11

talk next year. Need to book in for these

1:21:13

sort of things. Now now now now, Aussie Trace says heading off to

1:21:16

Australia for the for the first

1:21:18

time since twenty nineteen to have a

1:21:20

one for warm

1:21:22

Christmas with the family. I should be listening to your instructions so I don't miss the down under.

1:21:28

So this is what you have to take on

1:21:30

board and I have told you this. I did it a couple of times last

1:21:33

week and I

1:21:35

want to make sure that

1:21:37

you all get it right. If you listen to this radio show as a podcast,

1:21:40

it's called as

1:21:42

you know Steve Allen a

1:21:45

whole show and you need to know this

1:21:47

piece of very important information because in a couple of

1:21:49

weeks time, less than a couple of weeks now is

1:21:51

about four days. The

1:21:54

whole show, Steve Allen, will

1:21:56

be available exclusively on global player.

1:21:59

Now it's still one hundred

1:22:01

percent free and it's still a whole

1:22:03

show and it's still utterly brilliant. But you won't be

1:22:05

able to find it on any other platform

1:22:07

apart from global player. Okay. So whatever you're

1:22:09

listening to at the moment, if it's

1:22:11

not global player, that will disappear. Now if you

1:22:13

have not got global player, it's dead easy to get hold of, and

1:22:16

this is what you need

1:22:18

to do. You can either download

1:22:20

it from your

1:22:22

App Store or visit, which I suggest actually, global player dot com.

1:22:24

Okay. You download global player

1:22:26

dot com. Once you've got it,

1:22:30

You go to the podcast section and search for

1:22:32

Steve Allen, the whole show.

1:22:34

So go to global player

1:22:37

dot com because depending on what you're listening to at

1:22:39

the moment, if it's not global player, it will disappear

1:22:41

from there. It will only be available. We

1:22:43

are exclusive to

1:22:46

global player dot com. Just

1:22:47

the podcast. It's the broadcast you said as normal, and

1:22:49

you can it goes on to your telephones. You've

1:22:51

got everything as you had

1:22:53

before. So you've already done

1:22:56

it You're now doing it a different time with

1:22:58

global player dot com. So go to the podcast section, search for Steve Allen, the whole show. If

1:23:00

you're listening on Alexa,

1:23:02

you just have to say

1:23:05

Alexa, open global player, and play Steve Allen

1:23:07

the whole show podcast. It's

1:23:12

that simple. Alexa will then respond

1:23:14

by playing Steve Allen, the whole show podcast. So I suggest you do that relatively

1:23:16

quickly. As from the

1:23:19

start of next week, the

1:23:21

only place you'll be able to

1:23:24

hear the new episodes will be on

1:23:26

global player.

1:23:26

Okay. So global player dot com

1:23:29

Go to

1:23:29

the podcast section search for Steve Allen whole show, and it will all become a it's

1:23:31

so easy to do. Listen. If mister Neil can

1:23:36

do it, anybody can do it. I've had

1:23:38

ten year olds writing in saying that they they know how to

1:23:40

how to do

1:23:43

it. So good luck. And

1:23:45

we shall look forward to seeing you

1:23:47

on the other side as they say. It's like leading you through the wilderness. I look on

1:23:50

that as a a pilgrimage

1:23:54

of of impeccable radio.

1:23:56

Why not? And you can get all the

1:23:58

other podcasts as well and

1:23:59

everything on there. It's lovely. We went to

1:24:02

a pandemic yesterday, he says, big Frank at the Wimbledon, Snow White with Matthew Kelly and Dick and Dom.

1:24:04

Very good. I didn't even know that we're

1:24:06

still going, to be quite honest with you.

1:24:08

So all

1:24:11

going. Dick and Dom. One of them is

1:24:12

a very good magician and the other one isn't.

1:24:14

That's all I can tell you. The

1:24:17

other one, He does woodworking, how

1:24:20

marvelous. Hence, you're knowing that as well.

1:24:22

Obviously, you're doing research and everything else.

1:24:24

Very funny. They don't work on television

1:24:26

though, do they anymore? That's they on

1:24:28

television. No. They're usually on television all the time, didn't

1:24:30

they? Did they did they fall out with somebody? And and somebody said, don't put

1:24:32

them on television ever again or something? Because

1:24:34

I don't understand why they were very pop

1:24:38

pillar. They used to do they used to do rude things

1:24:40

on the television and to shout out a

1:24:42

rude word, which I don't propose to

1:24:44

do now. But I remember thinking at the time,

1:24:46

it was a bit infantile. But then

1:24:49

that's what children's television is. If

1:24:51

you're an adult, it's it's

1:24:53

a bit infantile. The average drinker would endure four

1:24:55

hangovers this month with each one lasting ten hours. I

1:24:59

never get hangovers. I

1:25:02

never get hangovers. I don't get headaches.

1:25:04

I don't get hangovers. You know,

1:25:06

mind you, you know, the idea

1:25:08

they say, and it lasts for ten

1:25:11

hours for hangover. So that's ridiculous. You know what I

1:25:13

mean? You'd have to have to get the

1:25:15

toaster out for that one

1:25:17

and you'd have to you know, you butter the toast, then you put on a

1:25:19

bit of marmite, not thick but a bit

1:25:22

of and that will maybe make your

1:25:24

headache go

1:25:26

away a little bit. Otherwise, you know, it's

1:25:28

God's way of telling you you're drinking

1:25:30

too much. Okay? If you end up

1:25:32

with hangover, which the producer apparently is

1:25:34

prone to doing. But that's it. You don't get hangovers? No. You

1:25:40

don't. Don't even get drunk

1:25:42

anymore. Just alright. So you

1:25:43

you do drink.

1:25:44

right so you do you do drink

1:25:48

You Yagamais, what the hell is that? Is that

1:25:50

something I don't know about? Should I know about these things?

1:25:55

I don't I'm not sure. I I don't like to know about sort of drinks that might

1:25:57

influence my my life. Yay, can

1:25:59

I oh, there it is.

1:26:01

Alright. So you can get

1:26:03

a whole bottle for twenty

1:26:05

quid. It just seems to vary

1:26:07

the price. It's a German

1:26:11

digestive It's made with

1:26:13

herbs and spices. Sounds a bit naph, doesn't it

1:26:16

really? Developed in nineteen thirty four,

1:26:18

it's got an alcohol of thirty five

1:26:20

percent Is

1:26:22

this the one you

1:26:23

set fire to? Oh, that's

1:26:25

the Yakuza bomb? You don't

1:26:28

set fire to

1:26:30

it. Oh,

1:26:30

right. It's a specific shot. Okay. It's

1:26:32

it's the one that you have with with

1:26:34

Red Bull.

1:26:35

I I can't have Red Bull. Although, did

1:26:37

you make a Red Bull, which is

1:26:39

sugar free? But it's just concentrated sugar, Red Bull.

1:26:41

It just makes you sort of a bit, sort

1:26:43

of, I don't know, livelier, but I see people

1:26:46

drinking at the bus stop in the morning. And

1:26:48

I always look at them and think you'll

1:26:50

hangover. You will suffer. You know, that's why you've got they get

1:26:52

on the bus and all the

1:26:55

rest of it. Love it. But

1:26:57

not for me, I don't think Yay, can I No. I always stick to the same drink. I don't

1:26:59

I don't like to mix. I don't like to mix

1:27:02

at all. I want to be totally in

1:27:04

control. I'm

1:27:07

gonna get drunk. A, I don't like to do it

1:27:09

outside. I'll only do it at home. And secondly,

1:27:11

I don't I don't want to

1:27:13

sort of embarrass myself. I've had that before where I'd been out

1:27:16

and got drunk and twicken them over the years, had

1:27:18

to be carried home by two friends. And as you're

1:27:21

walking along the road, your jeans slipped slowly to

1:27:23

the ground. Really embarrassing. Really embarrassing.

1:27:25

Steve, I've just downloaded global

1:27:27

player from the iTunes

1:27:30

store, sorted. Says

1:27:30

David and Schropshire. Good. I I expect all

1:27:33

of you to do it. All

1:27:35

of you. Steve, listening to from Norfolk

1:27:37

today, I've saved LBC as my favorite

1:27:39

station on the app which is jolly good,

1:27:41

tea towel arrived beautiful. Joe, welling, but not

1:27:43

today. Thank you. At Christmas,

1:27:46

says Cherilyn Vombra I was

1:27:48

by places at crisis for the

1:27:50

family members no longer with us in their memory. Do you know that there is a movement to

1:27:52

let people take a day off

1:27:55

work if their pets died? I

1:27:58

I mean, I

1:27:59

I hadn't heard of it before, but if if

1:28:01

your pet dies because some people get very I'll

1:28:03

take it. Get very very

1:28:06

attached to their pets. And if if you a pet at then sort to take time

1:28:12

off. To sort of to

1:28:14

grieve. I mean, some people get very very attached. You know, it becomes like part of the

1:28:16

family. I mean, I

1:28:18

got attached to our hamster.

1:28:21

But I think I was in sympathy with the oil workers or something. I kind of glued

1:28:23

it to my hand, and we took it on from there. But to

1:28:25

Amsterdam's don't live very long. They

1:28:27

only live about two

1:28:30

years. I thought they lived forever, but two years

1:28:32

would be would be considered maximum.

1:28:34

They only I know they're

1:28:37

little. I know. Oz was so cute.

1:28:39

So cute. But, you know, cat used to play with

1:28:41

it. What it did after it died

1:28:43

and kept digging it up from the garden

1:28:45

and bringing it to the back door again, which

1:28:47

was a bit gruesome. So my father

1:28:49

buried it but a brick on the top of it was much easier. Karen says, I

1:28:51

drove to London yesterday to meet my son at the IV a little

1:28:54

time for shopping at a very crowded

1:28:56

Harrods. Snow

1:28:58

all the way, parked at Chinatown, so beautiful,

1:29:00

London looked good. It's packed.

1:29:02

It is

1:29:03

packed. I mean, London at the moment

1:29:05

is heaving. Bet you anything though, the shops will be

1:29:08

complaining. Oh, people not spending enough

1:29:10

money. Every shop I went in

1:29:13

the other Saturday with my friend

1:29:15

was heaving. And I remember the thing, I don't like it when it's too packed.

1:29:17

I always worry about, you know,

1:29:19

I'm I'm very mindful of,

1:29:22

you know, watching for pick pockets and stuff

1:29:24

like that because wherever there's a crowd,

1:29:26

there's people willing to take money

1:29:29

off your your bicycle or your telephone

1:29:31

The amount of telephones ago missing every day, must be over a few thousand a day.

1:29:33

People stand with I've seen them by the bus

1:29:35

stop. They stand there with

1:29:37

the telephone the next minute somebody goes past on a bike.

1:29:39

Or a moped grab gone. You know, it's it's

1:29:42

very difficult. Do you know

1:29:44

we're up to oh, I'll tell you

1:29:46

in a minute about the 35th anniversary of

1:29:48

which song. You will

1:29:50

find out in a moment. This is LVC with Steve Allen.

1:29:54

So

1:29:56

who?

1:29:57

Is celebrating the thirty

1:29:59

fifth anniversary of their record. Who would

1:29:59

Who would be

1:30:02

celebrating the thirty fifth

1:30:04

anniversary? Harry

1:30:07

Stark. No. He's not been around that long, Jose.

1:30:10

So this guy mixes

1:30:13

food fighters gigs with Christmas

1:30:15

swing concerts. Give

1:30:19

you clue. Sorry?

1:30:21

the

1:30:22

the It is Rick Castley. Yes. Never gonna

1:30:24

give you because he used to work,

1:30:26

I think, at the record company, like

1:30:30

a male boy, I think. And then they let

1:30:32

him do this song. Yeah.

1:30:34

Listen, Richmond, I believe. And He's

1:30:37

he's nice. He says doing a few gigs before Christmas is the perfect way

1:30:39

to end the year. Because wherever he goes, he's

1:30:41

gonna have to sing. Never

1:30:43

gonna give you have

1:30:46

gone and let you down, have gone along

1:30:49

around, and is that you? It's

1:30:51

quite a good song actually. I like

1:30:53

him. I like Rickasti a lot. So there's

1:30:55

a nice little piece on him in the paper today. Explore Grand Canaria. They

1:30:57

were doing a thing. There's a thing on the

1:30:59

television where it's two two guys,

1:31:02

and they talk about

1:31:04

cruising. And they couldn't be more appropriate guys

1:31:06

for talking about cruising. And they were showing you a lovely cruise head there, which lasted a month.

1:31:08

Prices from about six

1:31:10

and a half thousand quid

1:31:12

And I'm looking at one

1:31:15

here. You can explore Grand Canary in the beautiful Canary Islands. And It's

1:31:20

prices from one thousand five hundred pounds,

1:31:22

which are always okay, one thousand five hundred pounds. But if

1:31:26

you want to go

1:31:29

different prices for different times of the

1:31:31

year. This is departing the twenty second

1:31:34

of March. It's a club veranda, and

1:31:36

it's two thousand five hundred and

1:31:38

ninety nine pounds per person. So, you know, these rooms turn over

1:31:40

an awful lot of money,

1:31:43

and the itinerary includes Granken

1:31:46

area, Las Palmas, La Palma, La Gomeira Island, Lanza Roti, Gibraltar,

1:31:48

Seville, Cadiz, and Lisbon. They

1:31:50

will go to the same places.

1:31:55

All these cruise ships go exactly the same exactly the same places. But

1:31:57

it looks it looks quite quite a

1:31:59

nice idea, but the rooms

1:32:01

are never as big as you think they're gonna

1:32:03

be. They really aren't. Even when it says veranda room, literally is enough room

1:32:05

for the bed, a settee, which classes

1:32:08

it as

1:32:10

a suite. And in a little tiny shower

1:32:12

room, but I still thought it

1:32:14

was good actually. And Robert,

1:32:17

in New Tim says, when you mentioned

1:32:19

all your listeners about LVC global player, you set off by Alexa. Great though. And Aileen,

1:32:24

says I've just deleted the LVC app and

1:32:26

now listening to on the global player app. You're not losing me as a listener. That's easy. Only

1:32:29

takes a minute to download the app, and

1:32:31

that's me sorted for Chris Christmas.

1:32:35

Yeah. Which is cool. Although, actually, somebody says,

1:32:37

I don't have the

1:32:38

internet at home and we'll really miss

1:32:41

you when you go online only.

1:32:43

It's only the podcast

1:32:43

that's moving. This is staying exactly the same,

1:32:45

so you don't you don't miss anything at

1:32:48

all. Seriously, you get exactly

1:32:50

the same as you did before.

1:32:53

So panic not. But I'd do you

1:32:55

notice the pause there? I

1:32:56

was so good. I felt like

1:32:57

I was doing Meghan Markle when she was narrating

1:32:59

a bit going. I

1:33:03

thought they were she was doing it to music. She's obviously listening to

1:33:05

the music and doing it to sort of I

1:33:07

thought she was acting. You

1:33:10

know, it was so difficult when they told any other Alfa God

1:33:12

say godlessly. Small wonder we never wear

1:33:14

any further than suits. So let

1:33:18

it glow know you can buy lots of bottles that have got lights in

1:33:20

now. Did you know that? You could I've

1:33:22

seen all these things at Costco. There's loads

1:33:24

of them. Absolutely loads

1:33:26

of spiced sugar plum gin

1:33:28

Likker LightUp Snow globe, M and S, ten

1:33:31

pounds, M and S, Starry Night Shortbread

1:33:33