The Shark Sized Banana

The Shark Sized Banana

Released Friday, 7th March 2025
Good episode? Give it some love!
The Shark Sized Banana

The Shark Sized Banana

The Shark Sized Banana

The Shark Sized Banana

Friday, 7th March 2025
Good episode? Give it some love!
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1:12

Hello and welcome to Terlenders.

1:15

Hello and thank you

1:17

for having us on

1:19

Terlenders. Big day, big day. Indie

1:21

news, Maccabees, Glassenbury,

1:23

happening. Oh yeah, I feel like,

1:25

it's weird, because I told all you

1:28

guys about a while ago, so I

1:30

felt like that, yeah. Nice though,

1:32

exciting, exciting. Yes. I love that,

1:34

I break the news and feels like,

1:36

oh yeah, yeah, that's what it's like

1:38

with me and you and everything you've

1:41

ever done, Chip Show. Last seven years.

1:43

A certain young James Anderson's reaction to

1:45

everything amazing he's ever done. Yeah. Hello

1:47

and welcome to this Lucy cricket-based

1:50

podcast with me. G. Force Greg

1:52

James Jimmy Anderson, Felix White, and

1:54

in a bit, matching Tenderlker. He

1:56

is here with what he claims

1:58

to be his best... Quiz. Yeah,

2:00

but when has he ever not said

2:03

that? When has he ever not said

2:05

that? The guy backs himself and you've

2:07

got to respect that. Exactly, winning mentality.

2:10

That's how he's got to where he

2:12

is, which is basically at the top

2:14

of the game. I think he'd be

2:17

a really good boxer. Oh, okay. at

2:19

the press conference, a little something. Yeah,

2:21

yeah, yeah, yeah. And then go, oh,

2:24

you're kicking off, are you? Oh, sorry.

2:26

Oh, sorry I touched a nerve. I

2:28

actually, I can imagine, if he could

2:31

really box, he would be quite a

2:33

sort of Tyson-furi type character, wouldn't he?

2:35

He would be like an enigmatic, like

2:38

on the Mike Arthur and stuff, with

2:40

quizzes. He could be doing quizzes after

2:42

he knocked someone out of in the

2:45

world title, or in the world title,

2:47

that would be good. Yes, who did

2:49

I just knock out in two rounds?

2:51

So on today's trail finders. Yeah, we

2:54

have that we have that game we

2:56

have a little visit a little visit

2:58

I hope you've I hope you brought

3:01

you your best clothes and your monocles

3:03

because we're heading to the tap modern

3:05

a bit later. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. You

3:08

don't do you need to be in

3:10

dress in certain dress to get into

3:12

the tap modern please be respectful monocles

3:15

you have to do you have to

3:17

you have to do that pose that

3:19

people do and they they put one

3:22

hand on their chin and then cross

3:24

the other hand across their chest and

3:26

hmm mmm and stroke the beard slightly

3:29

that's actually good Jim do you go

3:31

to art galleries Jim have you had

3:33

an experience had any experience in art

3:36

gallery since sense that Not like the

3:38

tap modern or Louvre or anything like

3:40

that, but I do, I have got

3:42

artwork in my house, so I have

3:45

been to like art galleries, yeah. You

3:47

do, yeah. It's gone as a museum.

3:49

I don't just go in the afternoon

3:52

for a potter around and... Like a

3:54

little potter around. Yeah, I quite like

3:56

it. I do know what you mean

3:59

though, the hand on the chin and

4:01

the looking deeply into art. Yeah. Yeah.

4:03

There was a great tweet I saw

4:06

yesterday from, I can't remember who it

4:08

was from, it was a guy who

4:10

said, when you go into a museum

4:13

or a gallery, the first room you

4:15

go into, you go spend 20 minutes

4:17

in there reading every single thing, looking

4:20

at everything up close. Yeah. And by

4:22

the end of it, you just walked

4:24

through the last room and go. Yeah,

4:27

great, that's got a bit. Yeah, yeah,

4:29

yeah, got a general sense of this

4:31

one. Yeah, I get it, I get

4:33

it, I get it, I get it,

4:36

I get it. It's so true. Sculptures,

4:38

sculptures, sculptures, yeah, Renaissance paintings, yeah, Caravaggio,

4:40

boring, yeah, Caravaggio, boring, see ya. Caravaggio,

4:43

boring, see ya. Yeah, Caravaggio, boring, so

4:45

I didn't have my moniker on me,

4:47

because I didn't have my moniker on

4:50

me, because I didn't have my moniker

4:52

on me, I didn't have my monocha,

4:54

I didn't have my monocha, so I

4:57

didn't have my monocha, so I didn't

4:59

have my monocha, so I didn't, so

5:01

I didn't, so I didn't, I didn't,

5:04

I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I

5:06

didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't,

5:08

I didn't, I four more dress code.

5:11

You're welcome for a dear into the

5:13

four dress code, but I was in

5:15

the table and my friend said to

5:18

me that she had a theory that

5:20

everything in galleries should be massive because

5:22

what's the point otherwise? Like if you

5:24

walk into a gallery and see some

5:27

a photo the size of a photo

5:29

you'd normally see it out or could

5:31

see it in a book it's not

5:34

really wowing you is it like everything

5:36

should be like blown up ten times

5:38

a size and I kind of got

5:41

her I understood that idea. like you

5:43

want to be awed by everything if

5:45

your friend was single and so was

5:48

matching they should get married because that's

5:50

a very matching mentality to it is

5:52

quite isn't it so that that pause

5:55

was just me trying to put those

5:57

dots together and I don't think I

5:59

want to expose Lauren to matching so

6:02

far enough yeah plus both for and

6:04

happy relationships so Lauren would be happier

6:06

looking at the you know I can't

6:09

remember who did it's one famous put

6:11

a shark in a Like, Damien Hearst.

6:13

Damien Hearst, yeah. Yeah. So she'd rather

6:15

see that than that. on the wall.

6:18

Exactly. I think she would all, I

6:20

think she would most rather than banana

6:22

was massive. Basically, she's after a shark-sized

6:25

banana. Yeah, exactly. And in a way

6:27

I think we all are in life,

6:29

aren't we? The title of this episode

6:32

will be Shark-sized Banana. Yes, I would

6:34

like to swim with a shark. Let's

6:36

just make this podcast as impenetrable. Sorry,

6:39

sorry, sorry, sorry. No, no, no, no,

6:41

I know by calling it the Shark-sized

6:43

Banana. But also, we need to explain

6:46

what the TAT modern is for new

6:48

listeners. It's a place, it's a very

6:50

safe place, safe, beautiful place, where we

6:53

celebrate cricket TAT. memorabilia yeah old shirts

6:55

old programs old bits of whatever old

6:57

wisdons all that stuff so that's the

7:00

tap modern that's coming up later my

7:02

heart's about to sink as I say

7:04

let's talk about the champions trophy I

7:07

really I couldn't give a fuck no

7:09

I just I haven't I've ever been

7:11

less interested in a cricket tournament ever

7:13

yeah ever like this is the most

7:16

pointless thing of ever ignored. Is that

7:18

agreement Jim? Do you care to comment?

7:20

I don't know what you're talking about.

7:23

What I do, what I'd love, what

7:25

I'd love, actually what I'd love to

7:27

read, love you to read out Jimmy

7:30

was your lambistics message on the WhatsApp

7:32

group about the flying to and from

7:34

the various grounds. I think that's that's

7:37

good because we started talking about the

7:39

champions trophy a few weeks ago when

7:41

we... works out that obviously India were

7:44

not going to play in Pakistan but

7:46

they're going to play in Dubai but

7:48

they were playing at one specific ground

7:51

in Dubai so it's like come to

7:53

us if you want to play come

7:55

to us no no no but that

7:58

means that the logistics of all the

8:00

things and if they get to the

8:02

final whatever it's very very difficult so

8:04

Jim can you read out the rooting

8:07

for I think it was South Africa

8:09

who really bore the brunt of it.

8:11

Yeah, well we've, there has been chatter

8:14

about how it's sort of geared up

8:16

in favour of India, even though Pakistan

8:18

of the host country. Yeah, that's the

8:21

most India Pakistan thing ever. Yeah, it

8:23

was, I mean, I think we were,

8:25

the lads were like playing cards for

8:28

the fourth hour straight and they were

8:30

just flicking through Instagram and sort of

8:32

like India on the beach or visiting

8:35

the Burj. California would have played India

8:37

in that semi-final in Dubai. So when

8:39

South Africa beat us on Saturday, they

8:42

had to fly on Sunday to Dubai

8:44

because India were playing New Zealand to

8:46

see who finished top of that group.

8:49

Yeah. And if India lost to New

8:51

Zealand, they'd finished second and South Africa

8:53

would have played India in that semi-final

8:55

in Dubai. But India won that game.

8:58

Yeah. So then South Africa had to

9:00

fly back to Pakistan on Monday? Off

9:02

you pop. For their game on Wednesday?

9:05

Yes. New Zealand. Yeah. So they had

9:07

to fly back from Dubai as well

9:09

in New Zealand? Yeah, but New Zealand

9:12

had been there for a little bit.

9:14

Yeah, but New Zealand had been there

9:16

for a little bit. Yeah, but New

9:19

Zealand had been there for a little

9:21

bit for a little bit. So they

9:23

had to fly back from Dubai as

9:26

well, New Zealand. Yeah, but New Zealand

9:28

had been going to the Burge with

9:30

the Indian, didn't. Yeah it does. Good,

9:33

good, good, good South Africa plant, plus

9:35

one as well. It seems like a

9:37

bit of a Fafdu Pasee. That's what

9:40

I just said. Well, no, I just...

9:42

Sorry, what did you say? Or did

9:44

you say? Don't worry. Did you say

9:46

a Fafte, Pasee? No, I said it's

9:49

a good South Africa pun. Sorry. So,

9:51

yeah, New Zealand. After a quick visit

9:53

to Pakistan, I think they've got a

9:56

chance. I think they're a really good

9:58

team, aren't they to watch? I love

10:00

watching these. lovely mix of like powerful

10:03

players Williamson the other day just majestic

10:05

lovely word him and Joe Root and

10:07

Colley possibly the three best 50 over

10:10

the players in the world at the

10:12

minute so good to watch yeah that's

10:14

so interesting just roots Colley Williamson you

10:17

say the top three fifty over cricket

10:19

I mean in that role so obviously

10:21

you've got all right yeah yeah yeah

10:24

yeah yeah yeah class and who's but

10:26

he you put him down more as

10:28

a sort of stronger hitter down the

10:31

back order, middle order. Yeah. That like

10:33

number three and four spot. The clue

10:35

that holds a team together. I feel

10:37

like I was three just, because everyone

10:40

thinks that they're nudges and nurders, but

10:42

actually they all score over 100 strike

10:44

rate. Yeah. More often than not. Yeah.

10:47

It's effortless. Yeah. I see other people

10:49

trying to get their strike rate up

10:51

above a run a run a ball

10:54

and it looks like effort. Those guys

10:56

just managed to then rotate the strike

10:58

brilliantly against spin. They've always got an

11:01

outshot, they've always got some area of

11:03

the field, they can penetrate it for

11:05

a boundary and they might not necessarily

11:08

hit the big sixes that you see

11:10

from other people but I just think

11:12

they're class. Probably Williamson's the least powerful

11:15

of those three wouldn't he in terms

11:17

of hitting ability words? Is it he?

11:19

Yeah I mean you think like people

11:22

get that sort of perception of perception

11:24

of them but he's... All three of

11:26

them can clear the ropes. They're all,

11:28

you know, it's not like they're weak

11:31

things and they're just an eight year

11:33

old playing under 15th cricket. It's like

11:35

they play the game differently at their

11:38

own pace and I just love watching

11:40

them. I've got some questions, Jim, I've

11:42

got some questions for you Jim. If

11:45

in a 50 over game, the team

11:47

are 10 for 2, which out of

11:49

those three do you want coming in

11:52

in in the final? Joe root for

11:54

me, I mean that's because I'm a

11:56

slightly biased. There's 10 overs left, they're

11:59

200 for 2, and the players got

12:01

to come in and win the game

12:03

in the last 10 overs, they couldn't,

12:06

they need 80 off the last 10

12:08

overs. Colley, nice. Yeah, he is averaging

12:10

64 and a half in one day

12:13

internationals. Smith called him the greatest chaser

12:15

the game has ever seen. He scored

12:17

28 of his 51 hundreds in ODIs

12:19

in chases. Am I reading this? Yes,

12:22

I am. But I still believe it

12:24

and I still mean it. Yeah, it

12:26

still got 23 hundreds in the first

12:29

inning. It's quite good in the first

12:31

thing as well. Insane. Could you ever,

12:33

because Tendalka famously opened the batting in

12:36

one day cricket and batted four test

12:38

cricket, it's coley never, they've never been

12:40

an idea that coley could open in

12:43

one day cricket. Don't you two? Yeah,

12:45

different players. Yeah, different players. Yeah, different

12:47

players. Yeah, different players. You know, different

12:50

players. They can buy anywhere, can they?

12:52

Off you go. No, no, Jasper is

12:54

next. I want to talk about Josh

12:57

Butler, one of my favourite people that's

12:59

ever played cricket, felt sad for him.

13:01

But it's better that he's not captain

13:04

in it. It's just so much better.

13:06

Just so much better. All we want

13:08

to see is just Butler with a

13:10

smile on his face, just belting the

13:13

ball out the ground. That's all we

13:15

need. That's it. That's all he should

13:17

be there for. It's all we need

13:20

from him. It's hard to say, in

13:22

the press conferences you have that sense

13:24

from, for example, Afferton asking questions. He's

13:27

like, I don't even really want to

13:29

ask this question, but I've got to

13:31

ask you. Do you know what I

13:34

mean? It's a bit about energy at

13:36

the moment. He was as bored with

13:38

the champions trophy as we are. He

13:41

don't want to be there. He's getting

13:43

paid to be there as well. We're

13:45

not getting paid to think about it.

13:48

We're not going to volunteers on this

13:50

podcast on this podcast, but you know.

13:52

Certainly not an England match fee. Getting

13:55

paid to slug it off, back in

13:57

England. Who's the next captain Jimmy? Good

13:59

question. Harrybrook? Harrybrook's

14:02

been vice captain for a little

14:04

while. I think he's done a little bit

14:06

of captaincy in one of

14:08

the whiteball formats, maybe T20. I'm

14:11

hearing rumours today Jim about Ben

14:13

Stokes coming out of one day

14:15

retirement captain the short form team.

14:18

Have you heard anything about this?

14:20

I haven't heard anything concrete

14:22

now. But I mean... It's difficult because

14:24

a 50 over... I think 50 over

14:26

is slightly different to T20. Like if

14:28

you think... Thanks Greg. If you think

14:30

back to the 19 World Cup, when

14:33

England did really well, I think back

14:35

to O. Morgan's captain seeing those

14:37

middleovers with the ball in

14:39

particular, using the boulders that we

14:41

had really well, you know, finding ways

14:44

of game wickets in those quieter periods

14:46

in the middle of the lovers. I

14:48

think that's what we've potentially been missing

14:51

the last 12 months. Yeah, it's not

14:53

necessarily just the captain, but I think...

14:55

the bowlers have got to take some

14:58

responsibilities. Well, yeah, you think of plunk

15:00

it. I know where she's been brilliant,

15:02

but he's not being probably backed up

15:04

well enough by the other bowlers. So

15:07

I think that's an area for

15:09

improvement. And I think someone like

15:11

a Ben Stokes, that's what he could

15:13

bring to that team. I mean, it's a tough

15:15

ask for someone who's not done it before

15:17

to come in and then try and put

15:20

their own stamp on a new team, or

15:22

they'll say that it could be a good

15:24

thing for the group. really like from a

15:26

fan's point of view, I wouldn't really mind

15:29

whether it's someone knew like a Harry

15:31

Brooke or whether it's Ben Stokes. I

15:33

think both have got their positives.

15:35

But I think it's, you know, I've

15:37

seen Josh the last few weeks, you

15:39

know, he looked like he was wearing

15:41

the weight of the world on his

15:43

shoulders. So I think it's good for

15:46

him because England need him performing at

15:48

his best. Yeah. You know, it'd be

15:50

interesting to see whether he keeps again.

15:52

Now he's not captain. Almost it

15:54

feels like that 2015 World Cup

15:57

moment when we lost to Bangladesh

15:59

and then... we've basically shipped

16:01

a few people out and got

16:03

some, you know, had a sort

16:05

of freshen up of ideas and

16:07

people in the team. Possibly that

16:09

sort of moment when they're, you

16:11

know, building up to the next

16:13

World Cup might be the right

16:15

thing to do. Yeah, it's exciting

16:17

when these little cycles happen because

16:19

something good has to happen next

16:21

because it can't really get much.

16:23

worse at the minute, but that's

16:25

something good will come out of

16:27

this because they have to address

16:29

all the problems. On the Ben

16:31

Stokes thing, he loves a comeback.

16:33

He loves, that is such a

16:35

Ben Stokes move to go. I'll

16:37

do it. Come on. Yeah, and

16:39

you can imagine with McCollum and

16:41

Stokes, then wanting to do both

16:43

of them, can't you? It'll be

16:45

fun. And the just about the

16:47

thing, it's, it was sort of

16:49

shades of shades of, I felt

16:51

really sad because I felt, because

16:53

I hate it, because I hate

16:55

it, because I hate it, because

16:57

I hate it, because I hate

16:59

it, because I hate it, He's

17:01

like, oh, he just doesn't need

17:03

this. And he can just go

17:05

back to doing his thing and

17:07

look what's happened to Joe. He's

17:09

had a complete, I mean, he's

17:11

gone up five levels since not

17:13

being captain. We actually said that.

17:15

He did a nice chat after

17:17

the last game and he didn't

17:19

mention that once you're freed of

17:21

the captain, he shackles. You know,

17:23

he's gone through the roof of

17:25

his form since he's a cricket.

17:27

And I'm really hopeful that happens

17:29

with Josh because... You look back

17:31

to him at his absolute best

17:33

and there's not many better whiteball

17:36

players in the world than him.

17:38

Best. So in them with a

17:40

100% just but there will be

17:42

a extremely strong team. Yeah, it

17:44

would. Well go well Joss. We

17:46

know that he listens every now

17:48

and then. We know that Joe

17:50

listens every now and then. So

17:52

go well to both of them.

17:54

Jimmy, let's talk about the 100

17:56

draft shall we? Oh, do we

17:58

need to get Adam Collins on

18:00

the line or... So how many

18:02

bags of crisps they offered you

18:04

then? I've been off anything yet,

18:06

right? Okay, so we've asked you

18:08

in years gone by. if you

18:10

wanted to go into the draft

18:12

but you haven't I guess because

18:14

of England commitments what's the plan

18:16

superchargers originals what you feeling I

18:18

don't care I want to play

18:20

cricket I want to play cricket

18:22

Greg okay yeah that's why I've

18:24

done it that's why I love

18:26

it in the IPL auction I

18:28

want to I still feel like

18:30

really hungry for I was thinking

18:32

that today right so I've been

18:34

in an old traffic for a

18:36

bowl this morning and I went

18:38

to the bed last night thinking

18:40

about bowling the next day like

18:42

I'm really excited yeah that reminded

18:44

me like what I felt like

18:46

as a kid when I you

18:48

know you knew you had cricket

18:50

coming up yeah or sport in

18:52

general and you just yeah you

18:54

got excited about it so I

18:56

just want to play on buzzing

18:58

for the start the county season

19:00

love it and yeah I just

19:02

I want to give it I've

19:04

watched the hundred of clothes see

19:06

you know I've commentated on it

19:08

talk to people who have played

19:10

in it and I've loved to

19:12

experience it to if it doesn't

19:14

happen it doesn't happen like you

19:16

know the IPL didn't happen you

19:18

know i'm not thinking that it's

19:20

guaranteed i'm gonna get picked up

19:22

i'm realistic in the fact that

19:24

you know it's been a while

19:26

since i play whiteball cricket but

19:28

i'm working really hard at my

19:30

game will continue to work really

19:32

hard i'm gonna play T20s for

19:34

lengths hopefully this season so yeah

19:36

i'm just buzzing to play cricket

19:38

and trying oh yeah i just

19:40

don't really what else to say

19:42

i love playing the game it's

19:44

great That's it, that's all we

19:46

need. Keep my fingers crossed that

19:48

someone out there needs a folder.

19:50

I think we were just like,

19:52

we were just taking in that

19:54

that's a lovely thing. Yeah, are

19:56

you going to play T20 cricket

19:58

as well for thanks to Jim?

20:01

Yeah, well, that's sort of, yeah,

20:03

what we've discussed, but again, it

20:05

completely depends on who's available. There's

20:07

an England whiteball tour, not a

20:09

tour, but... Let's see, I'm really

20:11

sorry, around some of the Bobass

20:13

games, I think. So we might

20:15

lose, for example, sacking my mood.

20:17

So then there's a potential spot

20:19

there. But again, I think the

20:21

exciting thing for me is like

20:23

with that, I'm well aware I've

20:25

not played white ball cricket for

20:27

a couple of years. So I've

20:29

almost got to prove myself to

20:31

the coach and the captain that

20:33

I can still do a job

20:35

or more than do a job.

20:37

I think, you know, I'm hopeful

20:39

that I can perform well with

20:41

a white ball, you know, got

20:43

the skills that I've... you know

20:45

you don't just forget out to

20:47

bowl with a white ball or

20:49

forget out to bowl a snowball

20:51

that's the sort of stuff I'll

20:53

be working on as well I

20:55

think during the season obviously you

20:57

want to get the championship season

20:59

underway and start well get some

21:01

wins with the Red ball but

21:03

also I'll be having half an

21:05

hour on the double white ball

21:07

stuff and trying to develop skills

21:09

work on up to speak for

21:11

that's exciting all around though isn't

21:13

it that's exciting for the game

21:15

playing with the crowds there's just

21:17

the spectacle of it that that

21:19

will be totally that's a great

21:21

prospect isn't it for watching Jimmy

21:23

it is do something like challenge

21:25

yourself in a completely different way

21:27

than you were challenging yourself right

21:29

for the previous 20 summers that's

21:31

the sort of thing if anyone's

21:33

read Jimmy's latest book or just

21:35

even heard him talking he is

21:37

So hell bent on just getting

21:39

better and refining skills and finding

21:41

out new things that you can

21:43

do with the ball. I think

21:45

that is exciting from a fan's

21:47

perspective I'm I'm excited for that

21:49

just to see to see what

21:51

that see how that pans out.

21:53

That's that's a cool thing. Does

21:55

it feel like a second gym

21:57

since you played because obviously your

21:59

last test was the first test

22:01

of the last summer so it

22:03

probably felt like a Yeah, it

22:05

feels ages. Yeah, because ages and

22:07

I feel like the first game

22:09

I'm going to try and build

22:11

9 miles an hour. I mean,

22:13

he's absolutely phasing for that first

22:15

game. You'll be running up for

22:17

Manchester. You're just starting to run

22:19

up in Manchester Piccadilly, aren't you

22:21

like that? delivering the ball at

22:23

Lord's. Oh God, rest in peace,

22:26

those middle sex openers on the

22:28

first day of the county season,

22:30

Jesus. Let's pop on a shirt

22:32

and tie and shove the monocles

22:34

in and take a little trip

22:36

to the tap modern where we're

22:38

greeted by a new curator for

22:40

the afternoon and it's George the

22:42

Greenkeeper. George is showing us an

22:44

exhibit. He's bought a copy of

22:46

Botham's ashes on VHS. Okay. And

22:48

a scorecard from the 1993 Nat

22:50

West final between Sussex and Warwickshire.

22:52

And he got both for under

22:54

a tenor. Go on George. Love

22:56

you George. Nice see that George

22:58

scrubs up well as well in

23:00

the tap modern. And a monicle.

23:02

Does he have a little descriptive

23:04

piece next to explain what they

23:06

are? Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

23:08

But what I prefer to do

23:10

is I prefer to look at

23:12

the 1993 program just for a

23:14

bit and just get my own

23:16

meaning from it before I go

23:18

read. Yeah, do you know what

23:20

I mean? That's the thing about

23:22

art, isn't it, that artists sort

23:24

of leave half the work for

23:26

you to do? Exactly, exactly. It's

23:28

what I think is what you

23:30

think. You might think this is

23:32

a 1993 network network network network

23:34

program. Yeah. I think so. But

23:36

in a way, Phoenix. If we

23:38

are being deep about this, then

23:40

that program means, and that scorecard

23:42

means, so much to each person,

23:44

but in a very different way.

23:46

Exactly. It means different things for

23:48

each person that looks at it.

23:50

Yeah, one man's hat is another

23:52

man's... Treasure? Treasure? Tom's e-meled in.

23:54

He's doing a remote curation. He

23:56

says, hi, gee, force, fee, Jimmy,

23:58

shot, native of the movie, and

24:00

everyone makes this podcast what it

24:02

is. Well, let me just say

24:04

this. You make this podcast what

24:06

it is, dear listener. Tom says,

24:08

long time this is the first

24:10

time contributor to the tap modern,

24:12

thanks for having me in the

24:14

tap modern. My grandfather, a wonderful

24:16

man, called Derek Lee, first got

24:18

me into cricket at an age

24:20

when being pushed around the garden

24:22

in a wheelbarrow was the highlight

24:24

of any young lad's childhood. To

24:26

be honest, I would love that

24:28

to happen now. Sharky's not in

24:30

for the benefit of a taint.

24:32

Would you want to push me

24:34

around a garden in the shark?

24:36

Yes, you're faded up. Yeah, great

24:38

fun. Great fun. Brilliant. Lovely by

24:40

it out. Like grommit. You know,

24:42

side car. Yeah. Hmm. Anyway. You

24:44

are quite grommit, actually, Sharky. Sharky

24:46

is. Cras got a little bit

24:49

of a grommit vine. Yeah. Oh,

24:51

I imagine the limbs, Greg, if

24:53

you're in a wheelbarrow, just floppy.

24:55

Greg around in a wheelbarrow. Anyway,

24:57

I thought that the highlight of

24:59

any life was to be driven

25:01

around in a wheelbarrow, says Tom,

25:03

until the game of cricket was

25:05

introduced to me. My granddad had

25:07

a tiny workshop where we'd carve

25:09

out cricket bats from planks of

25:11

wood with a hack saw and

25:13

a chisel, which explains why I

25:15

then went on to be a

25:17

bowler and left the batting to

25:19

those who knew better. Anyway, I'd

25:21

love to share a story slash

25:23

entry to the tap modern with

25:25

you all. My grandfathers brother was

25:27

a man called Percy Lee. From

25:29

all accounts he was a great

25:31

guy who enlisted in the army

25:33

at 16 and despite nobody questioning

25:35

his age went on to serve

25:37

his country proudly. Until the age

25:39

of 17 during the war he

25:41

lost his leg in battle. While

25:43

recovering back in the UK he

25:45

was visited by a legend of

25:47

the game one day while receiving

25:49

treatment. With one leg hoisted upright

25:51

and the other missing he was

25:53

glad to spend a good hour

25:55

discussing the war and the wonderful

25:57

game of cricket we all adore.

25:59

With none other than Jack Hobbs.

26:01

Oh no way! What? I've attached

26:03

to- I've attached to- I've attached

26:05

to- so from Mr Hobbs with

26:07

his legendary stance photographed in front

26:09

of the wicket accompanied by a

26:11

signature on the front leg pad

26:13

and dedication to my grandfather Derek

26:15

saying the following dear Percy Lee

26:17

with best wishes for a complete

26:19

and speedy recovery Jack Hobbs and

26:21

he signed it no way incredible

26:23

that is fantastic what they just

26:25

happened to be waiting in hospital

26:27

next to each other type vibe

26:29

I think it was a visit

26:31

they must have arranged a visit

26:33

visit yeah cheer up the troops

26:35

yeah Anyway, Tom continues quickly. He

26:37

says, while I admire his suggestion

26:39

and optimism for a speedy recovery,

26:41

Percy's leg was very much left

26:43

back in France. Oh. But he

26:45

went on. to be a wonderful

26:47

uncle to my mom and her

26:49

sisters, and a great inspiration for

26:51

an aspiring fan of cricket past

26:53

our many generations. My granddad sadly

26:55

passed away during COVID, but was

26:57

truly an extraordinary man and travelled

26:59

miles across the country to watch

27:01

me open the bowling, or do

27:03

my best to do so at

27:05

least, from school level and above.

27:07

While this entry into the tap

27:09

modern is too personal to send

27:11

in, sorry Felix, I hope the

27:14

photo and story provide another reminder

27:16

as to why this game provides

27:18

more than sunburn and back acheke,

27:20

but truly leaves a lasting impression

27:22

on all of. Thank you for

27:24

all the great work that the

27:26

Trail Finders cast and support team

27:28

provide. Sharkies is a support team.

27:30

This is much more than a

27:32

podcast. I'd say it is sort

27:34

of it is sort of a

27:36

fun call. And please continue to

27:38

showcase why this game is the

27:40

best out there. Tom from Hartford.

27:42

Tom, go well, brilliant email. Thank

27:44

you, cheers. Can I just quickly

27:46

say a massive go well, cheers?

27:48

I know we're in the Tech

27:50

Modern still, but Maccabe did some

27:52

photos last week with a great

27:54

photographer called Charlie Cummings who, while

27:56

he was photographing us, said I've

27:58

got a general cricket sadness about

28:00

the time he was too rushed

28:02

to put a box in when

28:04

he was 16 pound cricket was

28:06

obviously inevitably hit in the area

28:08

that the box would have been

28:10

had to go to hospital and

28:12

the doctor said his testicle might

28:14

have to be removed from which

28:16

from his state of shock he

28:18

said to the doctor if you

28:20

do have to remove it can

28:22

I keep it? Fortunately it never

28:24

did have to but massive go

28:26

well to Charlie always good to

28:28

meet tellenders randomly in the world

28:30

especially when it happens to be

28:32

taking your photograph. It's lovely to

28:34

share that story with you to

28:36

be like it's intimate first thing

28:38

you say to someone is I

28:40

wish I actually asked the doctor

28:42

if I could keep my wallet

28:44

exactly exactly what was he going

28:46

to do with it? When's that

28:48

coming out? I don't know. I

28:50

didn't go too far into that,

28:52

but I guess it was just

28:54

out of, I thought like state

28:56

of shock slash morbid fascination. Anyway.

28:58

Have we done with a tap

29:00

modern? No, no, no, no. You

29:02

want to call back in everyone?

29:04

No, no, no. No, no. No,

29:06

you want to call back in

29:08

everyone. No, no, no. If it

29:10

opened for a few minutes. One

29:12

player was throwing some shirts away

29:14

because there's new kick for the

29:16

England team. So I thought I'd

29:18

steal one. And he signed it.

29:20

No! No! Jimmy's describing up. Yeah,

29:22

describe, yeah, explain it. I've got

29:24

Liam Livingston's master from the last

29:26

game. So I think he batted

29:28

in it, so it's almost new.

29:30

Oh, yes. Can I just want

29:32

to say something on record here

29:34

that I love the champions trophy?

29:36

Yeah, yeah. Despite what I've just

29:39

been saying for the last three

29:41

weeks, it is such a brilliant

29:43

example of what the ICC can

29:45

do if they get their heads

29:47

together and a showcase of some

29:49

of the finest talent in the

29:51

world, all in one place, two

29:53

places, it's brilliant. And now you've

29:55

got permanent reminder of it because

29:57

I've got the branding on the

29:59

shirt championship. selfie brand. Well that's

30:01

great. Is it your favorite tournament?

30:03

We'll never ever forget. I said

30:05

so thank you. Well it just

30:07

says Pakistan and not in Dubai

30:09

on it. Well I'll add that

30:11

so it's accurate. When Jim sent

30:13

it to me I was like

30:15

I think Greg will get that framed.

30:17

Right I will. No I'm gonna wear it.

30:19

Did you, Jim, did you tell Liam Livingston

30:21

it's for Greg James? Was there any, or

30:23

did he just got him sent sign it

30:25

for Greg and that was it? I did

30:27

tell him it was for Greg James. Yeah,

30:30

but I don't think he listens, I'm not

30:32

sure he's fully aware of Greg's admiration of

30:34

him or his... Hey, let me just, let

30:36

me just say this, as an impartial cricket

30:38

pundit, it's not admiration, it is just, I

30:40

just rate him, I just think he's gonna

30:42

be good for the game for the game

30:44

one day, one day. All right. Let's that's

30:47

really kind. Thank you, Jimmy. Very, very good.

30:49

Love it very much. I guess, yeah. Fee,

30:51

actually, that's a great reminder

30:54

of general cricketing sadnesses. We

30:56

do love that. It's one

30:58

of our longest running features,

31:00

apart from matching. It was

31:02

our longest running feature. And

31:04

here's a feature. It will

31:06

outlive all of us. Yep.

31:08

But if you've got any general

31:10

cricketing sadness stories, maybe you

31:12

lost a bolic. just just

31:14

stories about that but you

31:17

know the the odd no

31:19

don't make them just that

31:21

area base any kind of

31:23

sadness cricket related yeah however

31:26

flippants or profound I've

31:28

mentioned his name we're now gonna

31:30

hear his voice matching hello

31:32

hello hello oh yeah we're good we

31:35

haven't got time for pleasant trees

31:37

you have said this is your

31:39

best quiz again you have said

31:41

this is your best quiz Okay,

31:44

an original quiz format

31:46

from the producers of

31:48

Cricket Girl from Captain

31:50

or Cake. Welcome to Alzap.

31:52

Thank you for having us

31:54

in Alzap. I'm excited by

31:57

this. I think you're returning

31:59

format. It could be a

32:01

returning former, I think Greg,

32:04

you could use us on

32:06

the Breakfast Show. I can

32:08

imagine like Jedwood or the

32:10

Rock maybe playing this. Also,

32:12

so, it's a game you

32:15

could play with your teammates

32:17

if you're playing locally. Jedwood

32:19

or the Rock. Yeah. This

32:21

will give us a rare

32:24

and exclusive insight into our

32:26

host's phone. Oh, I've thought

32:28

you're subconscious and subconscious. Here's

32:30

how you play. You're all

32:32

users of the messaging app,

32:35

WhatsApp. I'm aware of it.

32:37

Yep. For those who don't

32:39

know, there is a search

32:41

facility on what's up where

32:44

you can enter a word

32:46

or phrase and it will

32:48

immediately bring up every conversation

32:50

that you've ever had where

32:52

you've used that word. Okay.

32:55

So you'll take it in

32:57

terms as a metaphorical quizzical

32:59

bowler. Yep. And you can

33:01

choose who you want to

33:04

buy against, you have other

33:06

contestants there. You bowl a

33:08

cricket related word at them.

33:10

So a lupi left arm

33:12

language. Right. Anything. It could

33:15

be a player. It could

33:17

be a phrase. A term.

33:19

Anything you might think might

33:21

appear in their WhatsApp conversations.

33:24

All right? Can't be too

33:26

basic. It can't be like

33:28

cricket or bat. I'll do

33:30

that on Noble. The batter

33:32

facing you will then search

33:35

in their WhatsApp history for

33:37

that word and read out

33:39

the message. Give us the

33:41

context and runs will be

33:44

scored for how honest and

33:46

open they are with their

33:48

explanation. Can I just say

33:50

it also gives even names

33:52

when other people sent you

33:55

that word? Yeah, exactly. Okay.

33:57

So another person's in your

33:59

spine. That's good. This is

34:01

good. If they refuse to

34:04

read out the message, the

34:06

bowling gets a wicket and

34:08

you'll hear. How's that? Okay.

34:10

Does that make sense? Yeah,

34:12

it makes sense. Yeah, great.

34:15

Simple. Yeah, so... It's great.

34:17

How'd you get it runs?

34:19

Just by answering it free,

34:21

you know, for five. Okay,

34:24

fine. Okay, okay, fine. Okay.

34:26

I love to bow, yeah.

34:28

New ball, yeah. New ball,

34:30

uh, do you want to

34:32

bowl against Alex or Jim?

34:35

I'd like to bowl against

34:37

Jimmy. Jimmy Allison. Okay, yeah,

34:39

good answer. Is he good

34:41

answer? Please take Madison. Have

34:44

you got your, yeah, got

34:46

your phone in front of

34:48

you? Yeah. What's that there?

34:50

Coming into bowl, Greg James.

34:52

And I'm gonna probe outside

34:55

the off stump with a

34:57

little outswinger and on the

34:59

outswinger has the word Peterson.

35:01

How do you spell that?

35:04

P-I-I-I-I- P-I-E-P-I-E-T-E-R-K-P-B-B-B-B-E-N. Oh K-P-B-B-B-B-B-I-I-P-B-B-B-I-B-B-B-B-B-I-B-B-I-I-I-I-I-A-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I What,

35:06

him saying Peterson? Oh yeah.

35:08

Hello, it's Kevin Peterson here.

35:10

Right, I guess. The, uh,

35:12

the only thing that's come

35:15

up is actually from the

35:17

Turners group. Felix, saying take

35:19

out maybe some of my

35:21

bits about Kevin Peterson. How

35:26

long have I'm getting out?

35:28

I'm not even batting. You

35:31

were, you were, you were,

35:33

you were, you were out

35:35

of your crease. You shouldn't

35:38

have been backing up so

35:40

far. I won't run out.

35:42

I wasn't even on strike.

35:44

Well, because he, he hit

35:47

it straight, he's straight back

35:49

at me and I just,

35:51

I just towed it onto

35:54

the stumps. I would like

35:56

to bowl again. Jimmy!

36:00

No, please, please don't worry.

36:02

Give us a word or

36:04

a phrase or anything really.

36:06

Anything else can you be

36:08

interested in finding out about that

36:10

might be on Jimmy's phone? I'm

36:13

just trying to think of which

36:15

Australian or... I'm gonna do

36:17

a cricketer. Okay, I'm gonna

36:19

do the obvious one. I'm

36:21

running in, new ball. It's gonna

36:23

sing about a bit, landing on

36:25

a length. it's moved or seemed

36:27

a fraction as it moves past

36:30

the battle i'm gonna say coley oh

36:32

nice very nice it can't be from

36:34

a tail enders one oh here we go

36:36

they're all tail enders no it

36:38

can't be ignored ignore the ignore

36:40

the tail enders ignore it that is

36:43

void come and go Greg James in

36:45

the next one as he said it of

36:47

you said it you've got to say it

36:49

you've got to say it there's only

36:51

coley in good condition in that

36:54

team in that team that team

36:56

in that team That was 29th

36:58

of December 24th. How are we

37:01

coming off this badly from bowling

37:03

at you? No, I think Jim

37:05

said that, didn't you? Yeah, that

37:07

was media. Oh, he's at all.

37:10

Okay. I think we were having

37:12

a fitness discussion. Yeah. Right.

37:14

Should we be going to

37:16

run him? Jim, do you

37:18

want to take the ball? Yeah.

37:20

Who'd you want to ball

37:22

against? Oh, look, Greg. I

37:24

don't really know where to go with this

37:26

though because I think a train is

37:29

not necessarily correct. It doesn't have to

37:31

be anything salacious either. It could just

37:33

be, it don't have to be, you

37:35

know, drop someone in it. It could

37:37

be something you're interested in. Could be

37:39

nice, could just be a nice thing.

37:41

Could be a nice thing. Yeah, the

37:43

game could be a nice game. Let's

37:45

not use it for people. Come on.

37:47

Yeah, usually powers for good. I'm just

37:49

gonna trot in then and bowl in and

37:51

bowl in and bowl your

37:53

powers for good. Stumps! Or

37:55

any variation of it's stumped.

37:58

Okay, stumps. Uh, what's

38:00

this? What's this? This was

38:02

from... Oh, okay, this is quite

38:05

good actually. This was a

38:07

message I'd sent to

38:09

Sharky in October. And what

38:12

was happening in October?

38:14

Was that New Zealand

38:16

snow? Pakistan test?

38:18

That's right. I said, Sharky.

38:20

Might now be a good time

38:22

to have had your very experienced

38:26

bowling coach out there. At

38:28

259 for one at Stumps.

38:30

What was that about? They

38:32

had a bad day in the field,

38:34

didn't they? I quite like

38:37

to have Jimmy bowling out

38:39

there. They'll go at Stumps,

38:41

which is being bitchy to

38:44

Sharky. Okay, next. Carry on,

38:46

another round. Should I message

38:48

what? Should I study what?

38:51

Sharky replied. Yes, please. Yeah.

38:53

He said, couldn't agree more.

38:55

They looked toothless. This is

38:57

why we need we should have

39:00

had a calendar's like end of

39:02

day's play. Yeah, definitely. Get

39:04

TMS, get Sharky on there

39:07

with you, just toothless comment.

39:09

Yeah, I've just put written,

39:12

go toothless, and about times

39:14

I've got toothless in my

39:17

phone. Tootless, toothless, toothless, toothless,

39:19

toothless, toothless, toothless, toothless, toothless.

39:22

We are toothless. Sharky, we've

39:24

got one more round. Toothless

39:27

man on bike. Yeah, you've

39:29

written that in, um, you

39:31

wrote that on 29, would

39:34

you lie, 2021? Two first

39:36

man on bike. And Sharky

39:38

said genius for a stop.

39:41

What's happened there? And then

39:43

Matt, she's written, I wish

39:45

we could post this. Oh!

39:47

What's that from? I don't know

39:49

what that is. Greg, take the

39:52

ball, who'd you want to bowl

39:54

against? Dierson or... Felix White. I

39:56

won't be offended if you want to

39:58

bowl at Jimmy again. I want

40:00

a bowl at Felix and I

40:03

want you to search for the

40:05

word Burnley. Oh, I've got a

40:07

great one. Mate, for Burnley Express,

40:09

which cricker is that? I'm at

40:12

a pub quiz. It's like, oh,

40:14

I know who that is. You

40:16

should shame the person who was

40:19

messaging you in a pub quiz.

40:21

That's actually Ivan who does the

40:23

phone and fix with me. He's

40:26

obviously got a cricket question. That's

40:28

great. That's really great. That's really

40:30

great. I like the game a

40:32

lot match again. Phoenix, you want

40:35

to take the ball? I'd love

40:37

to take the ball. I'm going

40:39

to put my wrist being ring

40:42

because I notice something like the

40:44

pit just doing bits. Bit a

40:46

rough outside the leg stump so

40:48

if you can come over the

40:51

wicket the left arm and that

40:53

would be great just expose that

40:55

rough runs into this rough, runs

40:58

into this rough, pitches it's going

41:00

to give you a word. I've

41:02

got lots of names of people

41:05

but I don't think that's very...

41:07

You can do a name? All

41:09

right. You could do... If you

41:11

said Livingstone it'd be too many

41:14

wouldn't they just be... Oh I

41:16

okay Jedwood. Jedwood. Jedwood! Because he's

41:18

got a Jedwood! Because he said

41:21

Jedwood. Okay. Jedwood that it spits

41:23

out of the raft. Jedwood. Let

41:25

me find a message from me.

41:27

Can we take the stuff out

41:30

about Kevin Peterson? Absolutely not. Can

41:32

we take the stuff out about

41:34

taking the stuff out about Kevin

41:37

Peterson? No, it could be nice.

41:39

It could be nice. It could

41:41

be nice. It could be too

41:44

nice. It could be too nice.

41:46

I don't want to go beat

41:48

him. The last time I messaged

41:50

someone about Jedwood was when... I

41:53

bumped into Jedwood when I was

41:55

walking my dog and it was

41:57

the most terrifying experience. of my

42:00

life. They appeared, they appeared like,

42:02

I don't know, it was like a

42:04

horror movie, they just danced out of

42:06

the woods at me, and I messaged

42:09

the breakfast team group saying,

42:11

I thought I was having a f-break

42:13

down because Jed would have run after

42:15

me shouting my name. How did that

42:18

happen? They were just walking around, I

42:20

don't know, but they were dressed as

42:22

Jed, we were in full sort of.

42:24

Like a couple of shining type thing,

42:27

like, yeah, yeah, yeah, nice. I feel

42:29

like a waste my delivery there. I

42:31

should have said something like a

42:33

hundred or something, but anyway.

42:36

There's Felix on this on

42:38

all, Sharky. Oh Sharky. Sugar

42:40

Sharky. Have a bowl, mate.

42:42

Have a bowl. Sharky. What bowl?

42:44

No, I'm going to bowl at your

42:46

bowl at your bowl at me

42:48

there. And I'm going to bowl

42:50

out and lamb at you. Oh,

42:53

nice. What I was thinking is

42:55

people could write in and offer

42:57

their house apps. if they want

42:59

us to search anything in our

43:02

phones for another round of hours

43:04

app and at later dates maybe

43:06

in the 400 minipods that we're

43:08

contractually obliged to do. Great idea.

43:10

So I found a message between

43:13

me and Greg and we're

43:15

obviously discussing old

43:17

cricketers who have sadly passed

43:19

away and I've put Arby

43:22

and pieces with Hannah Lamb

43:24

goes. Thank you,

43:26

Magician, love the game, bring that

43:28

game back for the mini-pods. We're

43:31

also going to do a full

43:33

episode next week after the amazing

43:35

conclusion to one of the greatest

43:37

cricketing tournaments I've ever seen in

43:40

my live, the champions trophy. Some

43:42

quick go wells fee, if you

43:44

need to go, please go, but

43:46

new tailenders. Hey! You and being

43:48

baby team, being ones. Sue who became

43:50

the first female president of Ellesmere Cricket

43:53

Club, big up Sue, go well. We

43:55

also have a birthday for cheese, Alby,

43:57

Pascal, Tim, who's 50, Stephen, who's 50,

43:59

not... as well. Jude, who for World

44:01

Book Day, went as a fully padded

44:03

up Jimmy, because you've got a book,

44:06

so you're technically a book character as

44:08

well. That's amazing, Jude. Amazing. Go

44:10

well. Engagement. Human engagements, human

44:12

being ones. Will and Courtney.

44:14

No, but that's all, hopefully, normal,

44:16

no. But that's all possibly, Nor,

44:18

it doesn't really matter either way.

44:20

Will and Courtney, in Catherine and

44:22

Jacob. Go well, to all the girls

44:25

taking part in the London Youth

44:27

Games under 13 Qualifiers. Also, cricket

44:29

Club Shouts. You being cricket clubs,

44:31

you know, I'm being cricket

44:33

clubs, sorry, that's how I say

44:35

it. Oh, my old club for

44:37

a bit. Bromley under 13s. Knoll

44:39

Hill cricket club, new members are

44:42

welcome, and new members are Malcolm.

44:44

Kekela under 11s as well.

44:46

Go well. Go well. Cheers. Cheers.

44:48

Cheers. Phil, Ben, Luke, and David

44:51

are running from B-dow cricket club

44:53

to Sedge Phil cricket club for

44:55

charity for charity, for a laugh.

44:57

to John and to Cameron as

45:00

well who got a buy one

45:02

get one free deal. Snipwell! That's

45:04

not true. I made that, I made

45:06

that bit up. Go well! Cheers! Thanks

45:09

for listening everybody. We'll be

45:11

back with the Mini Pods and

45:13

the other longer form podcast detailing

45:16

the ins and the outs of

45:18

the Champions Trophy which is amazing.

45:20

Please like, share and subscribe. Please

45:23

don't take out the Kevin Peterson

45:25

Bit Sharky and you can get

45:27

in touch. via the usual email

45:30

address. Tellens at bbc.com, UK. Or

45:32

use the hashtag, tellens

45:34

the world, unite and take over!

45:36

Cheers! Oh well! D.C.

45:38

Radio, Five Lives, Good Daily. Welcome to

45:40

the Monday Night Club. They've obviously had

45:42

terrible trouble storing goals, particularly in open

45:44

play this season. The commentator's view, the

45:46

wasp, flew into my mouth while I

45:48

was talking and I panicked. Chris Sutton

45:51

was going to climb out the back

45:53

window. We both just looked at each

45:55

other and realized. Premier League review. You're on

45:57

the one that's still in charge. It's your job

45:59

to get... these plays to compete to

46:01

get them to do the basic. So

46:03

should we start questioning you as a

46:06

manager there? Stay on top of everything

46:08

football every day with the Football Daily

46:10

podcast. Listen on BBC Sounds. I'm

46:17

Zing Singh and I'm Simon Jack and together

46:19

we host Good Bad billionaire the podcast

46:21

exploring the lives of some of the

46:23

world's richest people in the new season We're

46:26

setting our sights on some big names. Yep

46:28

LeBron James and Martha Stewart to name just

46:30

a few and as always Simon and

46:32

I are trying to decide whether we

46:34

think they're good bad or just another

46:36

billionaire that's good bad billionaire from

46:38

the BBC world service Listen now wherever

46:40

you get your BBC podcasts

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