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Namaste.

0:28

Welcome friends. Thank you for

0:30

being here. This

0:34

is our week two, it's

0:36

a two -week series on devotion. And

0:40

the big picture here is

0:42

devotion is our felt sense of

0:44

belonging. It's the reverence and

0:46

love for something greater, whether

0:48

it's the beloved or a

0:50

sense of the mystery or

0:52

divine or life itself. And

0:55

a key expression of devotion

0:57

is prayer. it expresses our

1:00

longing to realize and inhabit

1:02

that larger belonging. So,

1:05

a personal share. I grew

1:07

up, my family belonged to a

1:09

Unitarian church, and there

1:11

was not much talk about devotion

1:13

or the practice of prayer in

1:15

my growing up years. One

1:18

friend shared a story. He

1:20

said, I was brought up Unitarian. I

1:23

heard the ministers say, God one

1:25

time, he had come to our house

1:27

and he said, oh God, I

1:29

forgot my pipe. I

1:32

loved hearing that. I mean, there's

1:35

that question, do the UUs, that's Unitarians,

1:37

ever pray? And the answer, only

1:39

when they think their candidate is going

1:41

to lose an election. I'm

1:45

totally joking because Humans

1:48

from all religions, from

1:50

all ethnicities, political affiliations

1:52

and on, humans around

1:54

the globe pray. Huge

1:56

numbers, very consciously and

1:59

daily, and many

2:01

others, in a less formal

2:03

way. But even before

2:05

language, our ancestors lifted

2:07

their eyes to the stars,

2:09

they knelt to the

2:11

earth, they wept, they sang,

2:14

they placed their hands on their hearts. And

2:17

these gestures of reverence

2:19

or plea or gratitude,

2:21

they're all forms of

2:23

prayer. From

2:26

Meister Eckhart, if the

2:28

only prayer you ever say

2:30

in your life was thank you,

2:33

it would be enough. I

2:38

pray daily. It's a very

2:40

conscious practice of prayer, really,

2:42

and I feel like it's

2:44

communicating from this human heart

2:46

to spiritual heart space, my

2:49

larger belonging, the larger truth of

2:51

really what we are. And

2:55

because it's very, very sincere,

2:57

comes from a very sincere

2:59

longing for love, for truth,

3:02

there's a kind of humility, a

3:05

porousness. And I

3:07

find that in those moments

3:09

that sense of ego or

3:11

self softens, the

3:13

boundary softens, there's much less sense

3:15

of separation, there's more of

3:17

a sense of oneness. So,

3:20

and of course it's to

3:22

different degrees, but there is

3:25

that feeling of merging with

3:27

love -light, with the boundless,

3:29

with what's intrinsic beyond inner

3:31

and outer. And

3:33

I share this with you

3:35

because when I talk about

3:37

devotion, this

3:40

homecoming, this sense of that

3:42

larger belonging is the space

3:44

that guides us when we're

3:46

aligned, when we're remembering, that

3:48

guides our thoughts and words

3:51

and actions in a way

3:53

that makes a real difference

3:55

in our own life and

3:57

in the world. Naturally,

4:00

there's regular

4:02

forgetting. But this is

4:04

the power of prayer because even

4:06

if we're mechanical, because we

4:08

have a sincere place in

4:11

us that does long for love,

4:13

for truth, it actually

4:15

wakes up that longing in a

4:17

way that carries us to

4:19

belonging. So it

4:21

feels like a really important time

4:23

in the history of our

4:26

world to be exploring devotion and

4:28

prayer because the healing that

4:30

we need collectively is

4:32

a spiritual healing. We

4:34

really need a collective remembrance

4:37

of our belonging. There's

4:39

no transformation that's possible

4:41

unless more and more

4:43

of us deepen our

4:46

devotion to awakening, deepen

4:49

our devotion to living

4:51

from love, to living

4:53

from truth. So

4:55

devotion often aroused in its

4:57

expression of prayer, it's a

4:59

way of staying true to

5:01

what matters to us, especially

5:04

in times when we're pulled to

5:06

forgetting. It's a

5:08

way of remembering. It strengthens

5:10

our spiritual backbone, that courage

5:12

to act with compassion even

5:14

as the world's burning. So

5:18

my prayer is collectively

5:20

that we remember the truth

5:22

of our belonging, that we

5:24

act on it. in

5:26

courageous ways that can bring some

5:28

healing to our world. Thank

5:31

you, friends. Thank you for

5:33

being on this path. Thank you

5:35

for your good, bright, caring

5:38

hearts. And I hope this serves

5:40

you as you move forward. You

5:45

know, before I speak,

5:47

whether it's publicly or

5:49

often in small groups

5:51

or whatever, I

5:54

usually have a

5:56

silent prayer that I

5:58

reflect on. And

6:00

sometimes different words, but

6:02

the basic communication

6:05

is, may this in

6:07

some way serve

6:09

the awakening of our

6:11

hearts. And

6:15

I pray, the reason

6:17

I do it, I've been doing it for

6:19

as long as I can remember now in

6:21

terms of speaking is that In

6:24

the moment that there's a prayer,

6:26

I'm connecting with what most matters

6:28

to me. You know, it's like

6:30

I've contacted more consciously what I

6:33

care about. So then

6:35

I'm speaking from it,

6:37

which really matters to me.

6:39

But there's a second

6:41

reason, which is that I

6:44

find that prayerfulness brings

6:46

a quality of humility or

6:48

the self -sense fades some.

6:52

So it's more here we are together

6:54

feeling, you know, and things

6:56

flow more. It's not so

6:58

much a self here delivering

7:00

what she thinks are good

7:02

ideas about reality, you know.

7:04

So there's this sense of

7:06

remembering what matters and a

7:08

little reduction of the selfing,

7:10

of the egoic sense. So,

7:15

what we're going to be

7:17

exploring in this class, it's the

7:19

second of two parts on

7:22

devotional practices, practices that awake in

7:24

the heart, is the

7:26

power of prayer. And

7:28

I think of prayer as

7:30

a communication, like

7:32

any communication, in

7:34

the sense that it's connecting

7:37

us, we're communing. And

7:39

in this case, prayer is

7:41

a conscious communication with

7:43

enlarged beingness, however we perceive

7:46

that. It's

7:48

conscious communication with enlarged

7:50

beingness. And the blessing of

7:52

it is that when

7:54

we're really in a full

7:56

sense of prayerfulness, there's

7:59

a quality of grace that

8:01

arises and the universe

8:03

can flow through us more.

8:06

So, we'll practice and explore

8:08

this together and I'd

8:10

like to again remind you

8:12

of John O'Donohue's very

8:14

beautiful way of describing prayer.

8:16

He says, prayer is

8:19

the voice of longing. It

8:21

reaches outwards and

8:23

inwards to unearth our

8:26

ancient belonging. It

8:29

reaches outwards and

8:32

inwards. to

8:34

unearth our ancient belonging.

8:38

So that is the experience of

8:40

grace, the sense of belonging

8:42

to and being part of the

8:44

flow, the unfolding universe that's

8:46

here. And so

8:48

I'll be using this metaphor of

8:50

outward and inward and I often

8:52

think of it like a tree

8:54

that when we're praying our roots

8:56

are going deep into the earthiness

8:58

of our human longing. our

9:00

yearning. We're going deep with those

9:02

roots and the deeper we

9:04

go the more we can reach

9:06

out to this enlarged belonging,

9:08

expressing and communicating. And

9:11

there's a third quality which is

9:13

in that reaching out there's a

9:15

receptivity. So there's reaching

9:17

in to touch the longing

9:19

and expressing it out and listening.

9:22

So those are the three pieces that we're going to

9:24

be kind of going over

9:26

in a more systematic way as

9:28

we explore together. But

9:31

first there's a reason

9:33

that prayer is a

9:35

part of every spiritual

9:37

and religious tradition I

9:40

run into. And

9:42

that's because it's a

9:44

universal that we humans intuit

9:46

something larger than our

9:49

ego itself. Some

9:51

of us intuit in a

9:53

sense of a very vague way

9:55

and it says, it's been

9:57

described as that William James said,

10:00

you know, that the first

10:02

expression of religion is the cry

10:04

help. There's some sense of

10:06

there's got to be something more

10:08

than this. This predicament is

10:10

pretty scary, help, you know. So

10:12

it's very vague to a

10:14

very evolved sense of that enlarged

10:16

belonging is really the The

10:19

loving awareness that's our essence

10:21

and we just are forgetting.

10:24

We've just forgotten and gotten

10:26

smaller living in our

10:28

narratives and our stories. So

10:31

what we're reaching out to is really

10:33

the truth of what we are. That's

10:36

the range from a more primitive, you

10:38

know, something out there help me, you

10:40

know, to we're really just trying to

10:42

re -remember what we are. There's

10:48

been a lot of research in

10:50

the last two decades. The

10:52

Pew Research has described

10:54

that I think it's more

10:56

than half of all

10:58

Americans pray daily. Another

11:01

study said 85 % said they

11:03

prayed this week. So to

11:05

me it's interesting, you know, what

11:07

are we all praying about? What

11:10

do we think we're praying to? How

11:12

are we doing it? You know, it's just

11:14

kind of interesting to shine a light on it.

11:17

So I grew up Unitarian and

11:19

the Unitarians used to kind of

11:21

goof on it and say that

11:23

in our tradition our prayer is,

11:25

to whom it may concern. The

11:30

Unitarians also say that

11:32

Moses received the ten suggestions.

11:37

It's very Unitarian. But

11:39

sometimes the prayers you know

11:41

is very, very direct, very, very

11:43

specific. And I heard

11:45

one story of a three -year -old's

11:47

prayer, and this is how this

11:50

three -year -old was praying. He said,

11:52

Our Father who does art in

11:54

heaven. Harold is

11:56

his name. Amen.

12:03

So, always

12:05

our prayers to whatever

12:07

we intuit or sense

12:09

might be some source

12:12

of comfort. our

12:14

safety, our love. And

12:17

it's as close as we can get

12:19

to that in another story. And I

12:21

love stories about children in prayer because

12:23

it's kind of… some of the wrappers

12:25

are taken off, we get to see

12:27

a little bit more of the innocence

12:29

of it. And I might, if

12:31

we have time, end with… I have a book

12:33

I love of children's prayers that I'll… if I have

12:35

time I'll share from. But in

12:37

one story, a little boy was really,

12:39

really frightened during a powerful storm, and

12:42

he kept crying out for his dad.

12:44

And each time his father would get

12:46

up and calm him down and say,

12:48

don't be scared, God is with you.

12:50

Just reach out and trust that God

12:52

is here. And it happened several times.

12:54

And the last time, the boy finally

12:57

said, I know God is with me,

12:59

but right now, I need someone with

13:01

skin on. So

13:08

again, there's a

13:11

reason we pray.

13:14

And the reason is, and it's a

13:16

universal predicament, that it's

13:18

part of our

13:21

evolutionary process to forget

13:23

our belonging, to

13:25

feel separate and to feel cut

13:27

off. And that's

13:29

just our… that's our kind of

13:31

universal human suffering that we

13:33

live in a more contracted reality

13:35

than the larger truth. And

13:38

then we go around reinforcing it

13:40

by telling ourselves stories about what's

13:42

wrong with us or what's wrong

13:44

with others. And

13:46

if you just in some way

13:48

were able to record the main,

13:50

you know, the kind of narrative

13:52

that goes on in the mind

13:55

through the day, a

13:57

lot of it is fear -based. You

14:00

know, a lot of it's driven by a

14:02

sense that around the corners there's going to be

14:04

a problem and I got to figure it

14:06

out. And I've got to be prepared. And if

14:08

I'm not prepared, something terrible is

14:10

going to happen. So there's

14:12

a sense that we're

14:14

tensing against what's around the

14:16

corner. And it's not

14:19

so common that we can

14:21

just relax and open

14:23

to this moment. There's

14:25

a sense of leaning ahead. So

14:28

there's some wisdom in

14:30

us that knows. that

14:32

we're living in something contracted,

14:34

that we're kind of in

14:36

a bind of fear. And

14:38

it's a very self -centered

14:41

bind. Because if we

14:43

again track those thoughts, the

14:45

common denominator to all our

14:47

thoughts is what? Moi.

14:52

You know, we're at the center of

14:54

the picture, we're the protagonist in all

14:56

our stories and, you know, what we

14:58

want that could be good that's going

15:00

to happen has to do with me

15:02

and what we're afraid of. I mean,

15:04

it doesn't mean we don't have concern

15:06

for others, but we really are quite

15:08

a draw in our own mental attentional

15:11

field. So we reach

15:13

out because something in us is

15:15

trying to find our way

15:17

to something larger. Does

15:19

that make sense? So

15:22

here is Rumi

15:24

on prayer. In

15:29

times of sudden danger, most people

15:31

call out, oh my God, why

15:34

would they keep doing this if it didn't

15:36

help? Only a fool keeps going

15:38

back where nothing happens. The

15:40

whole world lives within a

15:43

safeguarding, fish inside waves, birds held

15:45

in the sky, the elephant

15:47

the wolf, the lion as

15:49

he hunts, the dragon the ant, the

15:52

waiting snake, even the ground,

15:54

the air. The water, every

15:56

spark floating up from the

15:58

fire, all subsist, exist, are

16:01

held in the Divine. Nothing

16:03

is ever alone for a single

16:05

moment. All

16:07

giving comes from there. No

16:09

matter who you think you

16:12

put out your open hand

16:14

toward, it's that which gives.

16:27

So we're exploring what I sometimes

16:29

call conscious prayer. Not all prayer

16:31

is conscious. And we're always praying

16:33

in some way. We're always reaching

16:36

and wanting and hoping that something

16:38

will help us out. But

16:40

this is wakeful prayer. And

16:42

what I'd like to do

16:44

is start by reviewing some

16:46

of the indicators of less

16:48

wakeful prayer, immature versions of

16:51

prayer, which we all also

16:53

do. And I

16:55

think of it… the

16:57

sense of... We're in

16:59

relationship. We're in relationship

17:01

with ourselves and each other

17:03

and this enlarged being. And

17:05

how are we communicating? And

17:08

so you'll sense that

17:11

immature prayer is like

17:13

just communications that aren't

17:15

that evolved. So

17:17

what is it? And what

17:19

do we notice with immature

17:21

prayer? Well, one thing is

17:23

mechanical recitation. Right? when

17:25

it's just done mechanically or automatically

17:28

and there's not a sense

17:30

of presence, the roots have not

17:32

gone down to contact the longing. So

17:35

we're just going through the motions

17:37

and we know in our relationships

17:39

with each other, of course that

17:41

happens, of course we're with each

17:43

other and our person is out

17:45

and we're not tapped into the

17:47

depth of our vulnerability or passion

17:49

or we're just kind of going

17:51

through the rigmarole, you know, saying

17:53

the expected things. So

17:55

that's mechanical recitations, a

17:58

less evolved kind of

18:00

prayer. And

18:02

then another sign of less evolved

18:04

prayer is when the fixation's

18:06

narrow. And of course, people joke

18:08

about praying for finding a parking space,

18:10

but we do that, okay? And then

18:12

we can do it more consciously, but

18:14

we do it. But it's kind of

18:17

like rather than that tree with its

18:19

branches out, we're kind of like a

18:21

lightning robber saying, I want this particular

18:23

strike right now. I want to hit

18:25

the... I want to win the lottery

18:27

or I want to have a certain

18:29

person like me back or I get

18:32

the raise or get into this, you

18:34

know, get this new position or whatever

18:36

it is. So

18:38

again, it's not deep roots.

18:40

It's just in the moment whatever

18:42

our limbic system is wanting. Again,

18:46

this story, I think every story has to

18:48

do with children in it. So

18:50

a family invites these guests to dinner and

18:52

at the table, the mom turns to her

18:54

little six -year -old daughter and says, dear, would

18:57

you like to say the blessing tonight? And

18:59

the little girl says, well, I wouldn't know what

19:02

to say. And the mom says, just say what you

19:04

hear mommy say, sweetie. So

19:06

the daughter takes a deep breath and bows

19:08

her head and solemnly says, dear Lord, why

19:10

the hell did I invite all these people

19:12

to dinner? So,

19:21

so far we're talking

19:23

about less evolved prayer, so

19:26

it's mechanical recitation, it's

19:28

when it's a narrow

19:30

fixation, we're praying for something

19:32

really, it's egoic wanting,

19:34

that's what's driving it. And

19:36

then another sign of

19:38

not conscious prayer is that

19:40

there's not that listening

19:42

quality. It's like we might be

19:44

putting something out, but there's not like in

19:46

communications, we speak.

19:49

just the way we'd exhale,

19:51

but then we inhale,

19:53

we take in what's there,

19:56

so it becomes not

19:58

separate. We're entering a real

20:00

relationship where two become

20:02

communed, right? That's what happens

20:04

in real communication. Well,

20:08

when there's prayer but not

20:10

listening, we're not available for

20:12

grace. So

20:14

again, we're going through the steps

20:16

here. Drop really

20:18

in to feel the longing.

20:20

What's there? You have to reach

20:22

out and express it in an authentic

20:25

way and then listen. It

20:29

takes practice because we

20:31

have spent years communicating

20:33

in less conscious ways

20:35

with each other and

20:38

with enlarged beingness. We

20:40

just have. So it's

20:42

a training. And

20:44

I want to say that again, prayer

20:47

is a training in

20:49

many, many traditions. It's

20:51

a very… it's an

20:53

attentional training that's really

20:55

powerful. And there's

20:57

all sorts of science on it, what

20:59

happens when we really, really get in

21:01

touch and reach out from that place

21:03

of being in touch. One

21:06

of my favorite… the

21:08

kind of line that comes

21:10

back to me over

21:12

and over again, is

21:15

the poet Hafeis who says,

21:17

Ask the friend for love. Ask

21:20

him again, for

21:22

I have found that every heart will

21:24

get what it prays for most. Ask

21:28

the friend for love. The friend is

21:30

really that enlarged belonging. Ask for love

21:32

and ask from the depth that and

21:34

you would really yearn for love. Ask

21:36

again, for I have found

21:39

that every heart will get what

21:41

it prays for most. In

21:49

the Buddhist tradition, in

21:51

Buddhist psychology, there's an understanding

21:54

that whatever we most

21:56

regularly think about, whatever

21:58

you think about regularly, it's that to

22:00

which our mind and our attention

22:02

is inclined. This is

22:04

neuroplasticity. Whatever pattern we have,

22:06

the grooves get deeper and deeper

22:08

and it becomes more and

22:10

more the inclination. So if

22:12

our thoughts are how do we

22:14

win or beat another person or impress

22:16

somebody or how are we the

22:18

victim and how do we let other

22:20

people know that we are right,

22:22

whatever it is, then

22:25

our whole biochemistry

22:27

becomes really locked into

22:29

that. And

22:31

in a way we

22:34

have separated from that

22:36

channel of grace that

22:38

is possible. So

22:41

mature prayer is like creating

22:43

a new circuitry in the

22:45

heart -mind where we begin

22:47

to remember what most matters

22:49

and have that be what's

22:51

moving through our mind and

22:54

heart more and more. And

22:56

I've given a few times

22:58

what for me is a

23:00

very useful way to think

23:02

about it with the idea

23:04

of dipping cloth into this

23:06

indigo dye. that every

23:08

time, the way you dye cloth

23:10

is that you dip it into the

23:12

vat of Indigo dye, and when

23:14

you bring it up, it's very rich,

23:16

beautiful color, but then very quickly

23:19

it fades. So you have

23:21

to dip it in again, and it comes

23:23

out, it's rich, and you think, ah, but

23:25

it fades. But each time it fades to

23:27

a little bit less of a fade than

23:29

the last time, in other words,

23:31

each time it's getting more saturated, until

23:33

after a while it

23:35

holds the color. And it's

23:38

that way with prayer

23:40

and with meditation, that every

23:42

time you dip into

23:44

presence and every time you

23:46

dip into prayerfulness, that

23:48

becomes more and more available.

23:51

It more and more informs your life, more

23:53

and more of you gets to live from

23:55

that place. So

24:00

let's… we're going to take the

24:02

three pieces now and look at them

24:04

more closely and then practice a

24:06

little. Okay. So

24:08

the first piece is

24:11

inward. How do

24:13

we begin prayer? And

24:15

many of you, if you're practicing

24:17

the meditations with me, know that at

24:19

the beginning we often reflect on

24:21

aspiration, which is a form of prayer.

24:24

And the challenge is that the more

24:26

you're in touch with your aspiration,

24:29

the more it guides what happens. And

24:31

yet it takes a certain amount

24:33

of presence to get in touch. So

24:36

if I asked you your aspiration at

24:38

the beginning of a meditation, it would

24:40

be less full and alive and deep

24:42

than if I asked you at the

24:44

end of a meditation. Now

24:46

it's still useful, but the point

24:48

here is that the more you

24:51

come into presence, and when I

24:53

say presence, an embodied presence, the

24:56

more you're feeling yourself from the

24:58

inside out, sitting here and feeling your

25:00

heart and feeling the state of

25:02

your heart. the

25:04

more you'll be able to touch into

25:06

the longing that's most sincere to you.

25:09

So the first step

25:11

in prayer, really, is

25:13

to come into as

25:15

much presence as possible

25:18

and really contact whatever

25:20

vulnerability or yearning or

25:22

fear or aliveness is

25:24

in the heart area. It

25:29

really has to do with learning to

25:31

stay. If we can't stay long enough

25:33

to feel our hearts, we can't pray

25:35

from a sense of real longing. I'll

25:39

give you an example. Some

25:42

years back, a man I

25:44

was working with, he had married

25:46

his high school sweetheart and

25:48

after they divorced, he was always

25:50

with somebody. and

25:53

the relationships would fail because in

25:55

some way he would become possessive

25:57

and jealous and kind of demanding

25:59

and they'd fall apart. So

26:01

when we talked about it, I

26:04

suggested that he take a pause

26:06

from being in relationship so that

26:08

he kind of find out a

26:10

little more of what's going on.

26:13

And he very quickly found out that

26:15

not being in relationship brought up

26:17

a very primal sense

26:19

of anxiety, very kind of existential,

26:21

like something is really wrong here.

26:23

He had been in some

26:25

way linked with someone for so

26:27

long. It was very disturbing to

26:30

him. He became restless. He

26:32

started drinking more beer, eating more

26:34

food. He hadn't been alone. So

26:36

the preparation for prayer for

26:38

him was just stay, don't hook

26:40

into others. See if even

26:42

those other false refuges you can

26:44

Shell out on some so

26:46

you can feel what's really here.

26:48

What are you running away

26:50

from? And I

26:53

feel like that's a really important question. If you

26:55

want to pray, you have to be able

26:57

to ask, what am I running away from? It'll

26:59

help you. And for him,

27:01

what he was running away from was

27:03

a feeling of loneliness that was like

27:06

a kind of anguish. Now

27:09

he was getting closer, okay?

27:11

He was staying enough to feel the

27:13

loneliness. And it's a really

27:15

important place. Like when

27:17

I am working with somebody or

27:19

with myself and hit loneliness, that's

27:21

like, oh, okay, now we're getting

27:23

right into the real heart of

27:26

the heart. So for

27:28

him, I started asking, you

27:30

know, well, inside that loneliness,

27:32

what's going on? He said,

27:34

well, there's just this profound

27:36

urge to be part of

27:38

something. And I said, imagine it.

27:40

What do you want to be a part

27:42

of? And it became very clear to him.

27:44

I mean, he had the language of God. I

27:47

want to feel that I'm held

27:49

in some way by God. I want

27:51

to belong to God. I want

27:53

to belong to what's here. And he

27:55

had this sense of, I said,

27:58

well, what would it be like of

28:00

a kind of peacefulness and light

28:02

where he could absolutely relax and let

28:04

go? You said, if

28:06

I don't feel that I have to

28:08

defend myself, I could absolutely let go. Now

28:13

let me read you these words

28:15

from the poet of faith because

28:17

they really speak to what is

28:19

going on here in this story.

28:24

He says, Don't surrender

28:26

your loneliness so quickly. Let

28:29

it cut more deep. Don't

28:34

surrender your loneliness so

28:36

quickly. Let it

28:38

cut more deep. Let

28:41

it ferment and season

28:43

you as few human or

28:45

even divine ingredients can. Something

28:49

missing in my heart tonight

28:51

has made my eyes so soft,

28:54

my voice so tender, my

28:56

need of God absolutely

28:59

clear. We

29:11

have a longing to belong. In

29:14

a way, you can think of

29:16

it either we're in the realization of

29:18

belonging, in that oneness and communion, and

29:20

if we're not, then there's going to

29:22

be a longing to belong. Because we

29:25

have a longing to realize the truth

29:27

of what we are, which is

29:29

not separate. That's the

29:31

longing. And loneliness

29:33

is a sign of us

29:35

getting closer to the

29:37

rawness and realness of that

29:39

longing. Let it

29:41

cut more deep. So

29:45

that's the beginning of the roots going

29:47

down that we stop running away. We

29:49

stay. We go into the rawness

29:51

and we sense that longing. Because

29:53

only if you sense the rawness of

29:55

the longing can you then reach out

29:57

from that longing in a way that

29:59

gives prayer its power. I

30:03

want to check in. You can just

30:05

either nod or just hold absolutely still. making

30:08

sense as I'm speaking right now.

30:11

Okay. So we

30:14

go from tapping in so we're feeling

30:16

the longing to we need to express it.

30:19

Because it's really important to express,

30:21

to inhabit and express it. And

30:24

it can be in a wordless yearning

30:26

but felt as if like we're like bringing

30:28

it in, it can be like we're

30:30

offering it into an enlarged belonging. We're

30:32

surrendering it into it or we're

30:34

asking whatever. There are many different

30:37

versions of it. It can be

30:39

a mental whisper but it's infused

30:41

with a felt sense, this expressing.

30:44

And it helps to

30:46

have your body in

30:48

a posture that has

30:50

to do with expressing,

30:52

being in communication with. Now

30:56

the traditional posture is palms

30:58

together and the yogis will say

31:00

because it you know, in

31:02

terms of chakras, it centers the

31:04

energy at the heart chakra. It

31:06

allows the full circulation with

31:09

the palms touching of energy

31:11

of prana. Posture

31:14

has an effect. I

31:18

have to tell you that

31:20

I saw this two insects talking

31:22

and one of them is

31:24

saying, I don't know why everyone

31:26

calls me a praying mantis.

31:28

Actually, I'm agnostic. Okay,

31:34

we'll put that one

31:36

aside, that I can speak

31:38

for myself that I

31:40

have experimented a lot

31:42

with postures of embodying prayer

31:45

and feeling the power

31:47

of it. And for me,

31:50

there are times that just bowing

31:52

my head and having my

31:54

palms together, it's like all I

31:56

have to do to in

31:58

some way send some back into

32:00

communication with something larger. Just

32:02

that. And it's not like,

32:04

oh, this pathetic little ego is

32:06

subjugating. It's none of that

32:08

stuff. It's more this

32:10

recognition, there's something more than

32:12

this little world I've been living

32:14

in. Okay? So

32:16

it can be quite beautiful. Sometimes

32:19

I'll bow like this. Sometimes I…

32:21

It's kind of an offering. It's like

32:23

saying, may all this, you know,

32:25

all these narratives and ideas and beliefs…

32:27

I'm just handing it over. to

32:30

the largeness that's here, not holding on

32:32

to it, not owning it so much.

32:36

One of my inspirations in

32:38

the realm of prayer

32:40

is, I've mentioned him already,

32:42

is John O'Donohue. He

32:44

has a book called Eternal

32:47

Echoes. And if you can

32:49

see the book, I've got a lot

32:51

of little tabs there. He writes

32:53

beautifully in the subtitle

32:55

of Eternal Echoes, is exploring

32:57

our yearning to belong.

32:59

So if prayer is something

33:01

that you want to

33:04

explore more, he's a Catholic,

33:06

writer, mystic, philosopher,

33:09

poet, no longer

33:11

alive recently, about ten years ago

33:13

died. I'm going to read you

33:15

just one piece from it. This

33:17

is from the chapter, Prayer, A

33:19

Bridge Between Longing and Belonging. One

33:25

of the most tender images is

33:27

the human person at prayer. When

33:30

the body gathers itself

33:32

before the divine, a

33:34

stillness deepens. The

33:37

blurring din of distraction

33:39

seizes and the deeper tranquility

33:41

within the heart envelops

33:43

the body. To

33:46

see people at prayer is a

33:48

touching sight. For a while

33:50

they have become unmoored from the

33:52

grip of society, work and role.

33:55

It is as if they have chosen

33:57

to enter into a secret belonging

33:59

carried within the soul. They

34:01

rest in that inner temple impervious

34:04

to outer control or claiming. A

34:07

person at prayer also

34:09

evokes a sense of vulnerability

34:11

and fragility. Their

34:13

prayer reminds us that we

34:15

are mere guests on the earth.

34:18

pilgrims who always walk on

34:20

unsteady ground, carrying in

34:22

earthen vessels multitudes

34:24

of longing. To

34:27

be gathered in prayer

34:29

is appropriate. It is

34:31

a gracious, reverential and

34:33

receptive gesture. It states

34:35

that at the threshold of each

34:38

moment the gift of breath and

34:40

blessing come across to embrace us.

34:52

So, expressing. We

34:55

express through our words,

34:57

or through our wordless yearning,

34:59

through our posture. And

35:02

again, this is relationship. The

35:04

posture and the expressing is

35:06

to link us more fully

35:08

into this communion with something

35:10

larger than the small self.

35:12

We often get caught in

35:15

thinking that's what we are.

35:17

It's a remembrance. To

35:21

give you an example

35:23

of the power of this,

35:26

of what happens when

35:28

we tap in and then

35:30

express and then receive. I

35:33

thought I'd share a story of…

35:35

This is another story of a

35:37

man I'd worked with some years

35:39

back. He's

35:42

a recovered alcoholic. He

35:44

had divorced his wife when his son

35:46

was still young and he was still drinking

35:49

and he tried to maintain contact with

35:51

his son as he grew up but there

35:53

was some estrangement and he could, over

35:55

the years, he could see the result of

35:57

his drinking, the impact that

35:59

it had had, you know, how his

36:01

temper his instability had affected his

36:03

son and his son suffered from anxiety

36:05

and depression. So

36:07

there was years of kind of superficial

36:09

contact even when his son had and

36:12

his wife had a child, he stayed

36:14

in touch with, or two, actually twins, he

36:16

stayed in touch with them but he

36:18

always felt this sense of distance like he

36:20

had really blown it and there's no

36:22

way that he could ever be forgiven. And

36:25

he had this sense that

36:27

even if they forgave him,

36:29

it couldn't make up for

36:31

the damage that he had

36:33

done. So he had this

36:35

core feeling of badness and

36:37

guilt that he was living

36:39

with. And

36:43

so, as we

36:45

explored things, he realized that he in

36:47

some way needed to make peace

36:49

with that core sense of imperfection. Because

36:52

it was just, it was basically

36:54

the prison he was living in. I'm

36:56

a bad person, I blew it,

36:58

I can't be close with other people

37:00

that I love. And he

37:02

couldn't forgive himself, so he

37:04

really sensed that there had to

37:06

be something larger. that

37:08

he could feel a sense

37:10

of mercy from. So he began

37:13

to pray and his prayer

37:15

was really a bit of what

37:17

I described of kind of

37:19

offering it out. He would feel

37:21

the sense of guilt and

37:23

I'm bad and I've kind of

37:25

ruined other people and he'd

37:27

take it all as if he's

37:29

taken two hands and kind

37:31

of offered, he'd say, God, universe,

37:33

please hold all of this. Please

37:36

may this be held, it

37:38

may be held in forgiveness and

37:40

in mercy." That was his

37:42

practice over and over again. And

37:44

the more he did it

37:47

the more he became sincere. And

37:49

by that I mean really

37:51

touching the feeling of the angst

37:53

and the shame but really

37:55

sensing, please may there be something

37:57

larger that can hold this.

37:59

So he developed a relationship with

38:01

the something larger just through

38:03

the action. Initially

38:05

he had intuited it as possible

38:08

but he didn't quite believe in it.

38:10

But the more he did it

38:12

the more it actually came alive that

38:14

relationship because that's what happens with

38:16

prayer. You start and

38:18

it's mechanical and you're not dropping in

38:20

so deep and you're awkward and it

38:22

feels like you're going through the motions. But

38:25

in time the truth of

38:27

your own heart and sincerity start

38:29

to really come through. That's

38:31

the beauty of it. He

38:35

would do this process and he

38:37

started sensing more and more a kind

38:39

of lightness and space. Instead of

38:41

that murky hole of darkness there was

38:44

just more space. It was just

38:46

like he was part of something larger.

38:48

And he noticed that with his

38:50

son and his wife there was more

38:52

light conversation and so on. And

38:54

he described his visits and that one

38:56

visit he brought a sprouter for

38:59

the children and they started watching, you

39:01

know, how you can make all

39:03

sorts of mung bean sprouts and alfalfa

39:05

sprouts. Some of you might know

39:07

these sprouters and the children would watch

39:09

them grow and then he brought greens from

39:11

his garden one time and home baked

39:13

bread. So he started

39:15

just engaging more with them

39:18

and at one point they invited

39:20

him for a meal. He

39:22

had always not stayed but he

39:24

stayed and after the children

39:26

went to bed he had his

39:28

first real conversation with his

39:31

son. And he actually said,

39:33

you know, I failed you and

39:35

I can't make it up but

39:37

I love you, I love

39:39

your wife, I love your children

39:41

and I hope you'll accept me back into

39:43

your life. And

39:47

what had happened was

39:49

he had felt himself

39:51

acceptable to be able

39:53

to do that. That

39:55

process of prayer, he had enough

39:58

of a belonging to a larger

40:00

sense of being that

40:02

he could at least reach out

40:04

in that way in his human

40:06

relationships. Well,

40:08

just so you know what happened,

40:10

his son was speechless and he

40:12

kind of got afraid because he

40:15

saw his son kind of like

40:17

frozen. It was mostly shocked. But

40:19

then his son

40:22

had tears and

40:24

started weeping and

40:26

basically... His son

40:28

said, I felt like you

40:30

were still rejecting me. I mean,

40:32

in some way it was

40:34

a feeling like his aloofness that

40:36

came from shame was still

40:38

interpreted as a rejection, which is

40:40

what happens. We're so inclined

40:42

to assume people are rejecting us

40:44

when they're really rejecting themselves. But

40:48

he was able to interrupt the

40:50

pattern through prayer and that's Just

40:52

to say it wasn't like… I

40:55

mean they hugged and they wept

40:57

and it took a while. But

41:00

that's the possibility that we

41:02

can become intimate with ourselves

41:04

and each other. And

41:06

prayer is one of the vehicles

41:08

that we start this process of

41:10

communicating. So

41:20

there's these three pieces tapping

41:22

into the yearning. reaching out.

41:24

And then this receptivity where

41:26

we are willing to take

41:28

in, for this man he

41:30

had to take in some

41:32

sense of forgiveness or being

41:35

forgiven. The verse

41:37

from Rumi is so beautiful. Very

41:40

little grows on jagged

41:43

rock. Be

41:45

ground, be crumbled, so wild

41:47

flowers will come up where

41:49

you are. You've

41:51

been stony for too many years. Try

41:54

something different. Surrender.

42:01

So prayers in a way are

42:03

surrendering. It's saying this little

42:06

self isn't the whole deal and

42:08

I'm surrendering this little self

42:10

into something larger. There

42:17

are many different forms

42:19

of prayer. One

42:21

that I find is a

42:23

very beautiful template for

42:25

mature prayers described as the

42:27

bodhisattva aspiration. Bodhi

42:31

means awakened, sattva

42:33

means being. And

42:35

the bodhisattva aspiration actually has

42:37

two parts. And the

42:40

first part is, may

42:42

whatever is arising whatever it

42:44

is, whatever circumstances are

42:46

here, may this serve to

42:48

awaken this heart. So

42:54

what it's saying is, may whatever

42:56

is happening, and you really touch into

42:58

what it's happening, may whatever it

43:00

is serve to awaken this heart, it's

43:02

not saying may whatever is happening

43:04

come out with this resolution. You

43:06

see what I'm saying? It's not a narrow

43:08

fixation, it's may whatever is happening and we

43:10

have to open to it. May

43:12

it serve the awakening of

43:14

this heart. And there's a

43:17

second part too. And may

43:19

this awakening be of benefit

43:21

to all beings everywhere. So

43:24

it doesn't only open, it

43:26

really opens with that wisdom

43:28

that knows that we're not

43:30

healing and freeing a separate

43:32

self. It's like an even

43:34

deeper surrendering. What we're

43:36

getting is that the prayer is

43:39

really for this whole living web.

43:42

But we start with the life

43:44

that's right here. May whatever

43:46

is arising awaken this heart

43:48

and may this awakening serve

43:50

all beings everywhere. So

43:54

we're going to, when we close

43:57

in just a few minutes, we'll

43:59

explore that together because it's, to

44:01

me, it's one of those

44:04

prayers that the more we practice

44:06

it, the more quickly and

44:08

immediately anything that goes on shifts

44:10

from being owned by an

44:12

egoic self and a problem of

44:14

this egoic self as a

44:17

portal to an awakening beyond the

44:19

egoic self. It's very powerful. But

44:22

just to say that the

44:24

prayer naturally, an authentic prayer

44:26

will naturally ripple out. Because

44:30

as soon as we begin

44:32

to feel that humility and that

44:34

enlarged belonging, there's no limit

44:36

to how large it is. One

44:41

friend's mom died recently She

44:43

would say loving prayers for others

44:45

in each day each night

44:47

before she go to bed She

44:49

spent an hour and she'd

44:51

include everybody she could think of

44:53

like hundreds of people she'd

44:56

say prayers for and that was

44:58

her practice and she was

45:00

very very Authentic with it. I

45:02

mean she just felt related

45:04

to everybody and She died really

45:06

really peacefully Because

45:09

if you know you're belonging, there's

45:12

nothing to fear. If

45:19

you know that the essence

45:21

of what you are is

45:23

that field of love and

45:25

of presence, then

45:28

where can you go? And

45:30

that doesn't mean there's not

45:32

pain and loss. and fear and

45:34

grief that stuff can happen but

45:36

deep down there is an okayness

45:38

because you belong. So

45:44

in a way, one

45:46

way of describing the

45:48

theme here is that

45:50

the more we realize

45:52

our belonging, the

45:55

more unnatural grace arises.

45:57

Grace is the kind of

45:59

blessings. the

46:01

blessings of love and freedom

46:03

because we are available. It's

46:06

like when we let go of that

46:08

separateness, it all can come flowing through

46:10

the whole intelligence and love of the

46:13

universe can flow through us because there

46:15

is not that selfness blocking the way.

46:18

Grace can flow through. And

46:22

then we can live from that. You

46:26

know, I was... Just a

46:28

couple of days ago, as many

46:30

of you have, I'm sure, I

46:33

was listening to Obama's eulogy when

46:35

he was down in Charleston. How

46:37

many of you listen to that?

46:39

Can I say, yeah. So

46:45

powerful and I was just

46:47

sensing the power of it

46:49

and the power that came

46:51

from that quality of prayerfulness

46:53

where he was just… kind

46:55

of describe the reservoir of

46:57

goodness. I love that. It's

47:00

beloved that we tap that

47:02

grace. So there's this quality of

47:04

prayerfulness that taps that grace. And

47:06

then of course, then we

47:08

have to be active. So

47:11

the idea is that when we

47:13

care, when we care about harm,

47:15

when we care about suffering, we

47:18

first feel our

47:20

prayerfulness, you know, may

47:22

the serve awakening. May

47:25

this serve awakening. And

47:27

it's from that humility and

47:29

openness and tenderness that this kind

47:31

of intelligence, who is through

47:33

us, that we then act. Prayer

47:36

is not passive. Prayer

47:38

actually creates the quality of heartful

47:40

presence that allows us to act

47:42

in ways that can really be

47:44

healing. I just want

47:46

to make that clear. And

47:50

I felt that with Obama's

47:52

talk that it was very

47:54

prayerful and not to be

47:56

passive. And what's happened this

47:58

week? Seven predominantly black

48:00

churches in the south

48:02

haven't burned down. How

48:05

can we respond? Can

48:07

we let our roots go deep

48:09

so we can feel the pain

48:11

of that? Let ourselves be touched

48:13

by the pain of hatred and

48:15

violence. Can we feel

48:17

our longing, our longing may

48:19

this awaken us? Can

48:21

more of us care? Can

48:25

we take this in and let ourselves

48:27

be touched and care? You know, it's

48:29

like can we awaken? Can

48:31

we have that receptivity to

48:33

sense really what wants to happen

48:35

through us and can we

48:38

act? Because grace –

48:40

and this I thought a poem into

48:42

this beautifully – he says, we manifest

48:44

and deserve that grace through our actions.

48:47

We need to live from the

48:49

wisdom and compassion that flows

48:51

through us. Let it

48:54

manifest. Thus

48:59

far we've talked primarily about

49:02

the kind of prayer that comes

49:04

from the roots into the

49:06

place of where we feel that

49:08

deep yearning. There is

49:10

also a way that we

49:12

go deep roots in and feel

49:14

a profound gratitude. I

49:17

mean, there's probably not one of

49:20

you here that hasn't in some

49:22

way felt that sense of

49:24

the beauty and the goodness and

49:26

the love that you're grateful for

49:28

in your life. And so that's

49:30

another expression of prayer. We go

49:32

deep into that pool of gratitude

49:34

and we express it. And

49:36

that's another beautiful way

49:38

of really manifesting the devotional

49:41

heart. So

49:43

one of my favorite stories, it's

49:45

one of my closing stories before we

49:47

practice, Kabir.

49:50

not the poet Kabir, but another

49:52

Kabir, was a shoemaker. And

49:55

as he worked, he always repeated

49:57

this mantra, Ram, Ram, Ram, which is

49:59

another for God or the sacred

50:01

or the divine. And he did

50:03

this day in and day out for, I think, about

50:05

20 years or so. And then one day Ram appeared.

50:08

He'd been saying, Ram, Ram, Ram. So Kabir

50:10

said, Who are you? And Ram said,

50:12

I'm Ram. And then Kabir said, Well,

50:14

why are you here? And

50:17

then Ram said, well, why am I here? You've

50:19

been calling me for years. Now I've come. What do

50:21

you want? And

50:23

Kabir said, well, I don't want anything. And

50:25

Ram said, what? You know, why have you

50:28

been repeating my name all these years? And

50:30

Kabir's response was, I

50:32

just love repeating your name.

50:36

And so for the years

50:38

to come, wherever Kabir would

50:40

go, he'd be followed by

50:42

Ram and the sound Kabir,

50:44

Kabir, Kabir. You

50:55

know, you all already pray.

50:58

You pray in less awake

51:00

ways and sometimes more awake

51:02

ways. And so the hope

51:04

in exploring this together tonight

51:06

is that we leave with

51:08

a little more intention to

51:11

make it conscious and to

51:13

recognize like any attentional training,

51:15

any form of meditation, this

51:17

can wake up our hearts

51:19

in a way to make

51:21

this available to Grace. We

51:24

are cultivating a communication

51:26

in a Buddhist terminology might

51:29

be more with our

51:31

own Buddha nature, with our

51:33

own awakened self. Christian

51:35

might be with God, you know, with

51:37

nature, however you want to think of

51:39

it. But with a

51:41

larger sense of what we are. So

51:45

I'd like to close with a little

51:47

bit of practice as I promised. Yeah,

51:52

let's take a few

51:54

moments to sit in a

51:56

way that is comfortable. And

52:17

I described earlier with

52:19

the practice of prayer, the

52:22

beginning is to come

52:24

into stillness and here.

52:28

Just be here. You might

52:31

feel the sensations of your

52:33

sitting posture, feeling

52:44

the movement of the breath I'm

52:54

feeling heart, letting

52:56

yourself connect with the state of

52:58

your heart right this moment. I

53:04

feel tender and open,

53:07

or tight, numb,

53:10

fearful, excited. There

53:13

may be a sweetness, there

53:15

be a defendiveness. You

53:21

might, as you listen to

53:23

your heart sense if there's anything

53:25

going on in your life

53:28

right now that very challenging, that

53:30

you feel like you're some

53:32

way not wanting to be with,

53:34

not wanting to really feel

53:36

something that's difficult for you. And

53:55

again with that image of a

53:57

tree to sense a difficult situation

53:59

and sense the feelings that come

54:01

up and what makes it so

54:03

difficult, what you're afraid

54:05

of, what

54:07

loss is involved perhaps. So

54:13

you begin to let

54:15

yourself send down those

54:17

roots into the earth

54:20

of your body to

54:22

feel what's there. to

54:29

feel the fear or the hurt,

54:31

the anger, the

54:33

grief. It's

54:39

very optional if you'd like

54:41

to assume a posture of

54:43

prayer, if you'd like to

54:45

gently bring your palms together

54:48

or explore, you know, the

54:50

very tender light patch of

54:52

the hands together and just

54:54

to feel your forehead bowed

54:56

a bit, just a sense

54:58

that you're really tapping into

55:01

what's here and bringing it

55:03

into communication with your highest

55:05

being. And

55:12

to explore this bodhisattva

55:14

aspiration as you feel

55:16

really the vulnerability or

55:18

rawness of what's difficult.

55:21

To sense that

55:23

simple prayer may

55:25

the serve to

55:27

awaken my heart, my

55:30

mind, my being. And

55:32

if you have different language

55:34

for it, please feel free to

55:37

put in whatever feels true

55:39

for you and perhaps there's a

55:41

different prayer that wants to

55:43

be whispered. And

55:54

it helps to repeat. Your

55:57

prayer. a

56:00

soft mental whisper with

56:02

as much sincerity as you

56:04

can connect with. Desense

56:29

with the bowed head and

56:31

the felt sense of that

56:33

that you are really calling

56:35

on the highest truth, the

56:38

most tender love of your

56:40

being. May this to awaken. And

56:47

you might even sense it as an

56:49

inquiry. How may this serve to awaken

56:51

me? How may this

56:53

situation So you're really

56:55

listening, feeling into.

57:36

You let the ripples widen

57:38

out sense and may

57:40

awakening unfolds, May be a

57:42

benefit to others, may

57:44

it ripple out endlessly. Just

57:47

to feel yourself part of this

57:49

living web. May

57:51

awakening be part of the awakening

57:54

of all beings. May it

57:56

serve. As

58:07

you are ready

58:09

to relax your hands

58:11

and just in

58:13

a way, just feel

58:15

your heart, feel

58:17

presence sense

58:22

the

58:24

field, the

58:27

heart space that's here. Relax

58:33

and just inhabit that. We

58:51

with the words of

58:53

her face. Ask

58:55

the friend for love.

58:59

Ask him again for

59:01

I have found that

59:04

every heart will get

59:06

what it prays most. Namaste

59:16

and you. you