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is that time of year,

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maybe, when we feel a

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little wistful about what was was

0:55

and even to come. to come,

0:57

maybe you have thought about

1:00

getting some of those thoughts

1:02

down on paper, on paper, writing

1:04

a memoir, maybe for yourself

1:06

or even to share with

1:08

the world. So So Corrigan was was

1:10

recently on our episode about

1:12

how to be brave in

1:14

relationships. But I also

1:17

wanted to ask her about how

1:19

she approaches her craft became became

1:21

a best -selling author by writing

1:23

about the mundane and ordinary aspects

1:25

of her family's life and

1:27

her own life, but capturing those

1:29

moments in an extraordinary way. I

1:32

I want to read you

1:34

a brief passage from her latest

1:36

book, which is called is Me

1:38

More. Me It's about spending time

1:40

with her dad during the

1:43

last few days of his life.

1:45

his life. After

1:48

we got him to bed that night, my

1:51

mom explained that he came downstairs once a

1:53

day to sit by his new gas fireplace new

1:55

gas that turned on with a remote control. She

1:58

also said his pain

2:00

was extraordinary. Cancer that had been

2:02

many years before in his bladder

2:04

had bloomed in his right shoulder blade

2:06

and rooted in several spots along his

2:08

spine. Still Still, for the hours a five

2:10

hours a day when he was

2:13

awake, my mom said he was is to

2:15

say which is to say that first week when

2:17

he During that first week, by when he wasn't

2:19

in his spot by the fire, I my

2:21

mom, my brothers and I cycled in and

2:23

out of his bedroom, he pulling up a chair

2:25

if he was awake, if he turning off his

2:27

light if he had fallen asleep. asleep. There was

2:29

so little to be done, be so little

2:31

that could be done. be done. We

2:33

watched whatever was on ESPN,

2:35

even bowling, and and talked

2:38

about Duke basketball, Notre Dame Dame

2:40

and whether LeBron could hold off the...

2:42

hold off the I felt lucky that

2:45

my work and my children were back in

2:47

California, were too far to pull me from

2:49

him. far to pull me that's

2:51

her husband, kept saying,

2:53

husband, We're fine. stay, we're So I

2:55

did. I did. For 14 days I cleaned

2:57

his reading glasses and showed him pictures

2:59

on my phone, phone, stretching them so

3:01

he could see the detail hidden in

3:03

the pixels, the which often led us

3:06

into the catalog of the people he

3:08

had known, the he greats as he

3:10

dubbed them. as he Listening to

3:12

him gush about him gush about janky and

3:14

noodles nolker, occurred to me that

3:16

if this newest cancer was

3:18

going to kill him, he

3:20

had made good on life's

3:22

most exquisite promise. promise. He

3:25

loved and was loved in

3:27

equal measure. Isn't that so beautiful?

3:29

So how does Isn't that

3:31

so beautiful? wanted to how does

3:33

Kelly do it? When to understand

3:35

her approach. When we

3:37

come back, our chat about writing, her

3:39

dad, her wildly successful

3:41

memoir, place, and her and her best

3:43

advice on how to get

3:46

started. This

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Mobile for details. I think a I

5:35

think a lot of people, know, know,

5:37

we live in an age where

5:39

we really think about chronicling and documenting

5:41

our lives. What are your suggestions

5:43

to anyone who's thinking? who's thinking, I

5:45

want to start doing this either for

5:48

myself or maybe for a wider

5:50

audience. audience? I I think it's a daily

5:52

habit. I think there's a lot

5:54

of value in reading while you're writing.

5:56

writing. I think it's helpful to have

5:58

a little writing group. group. or an

6:00

accountability partner. I also think

6:02

it's it's and bonding and you get a lot

6:04

of value out of it in and of

6:06

itself of it in it can help move you

6:09

along in the writing process.

6:11

you along in the writing think having a

6:13

fantasy about who you would give this

6:15

book to or these pages to or

6:17

this document to. to be

6:19

very motivating. Like for me, that's

6:21

what got me. got me. to to sit

6:23

down every day was, gonna write the story

6:25

of what it is for me to

6:27

be is for daughter be I'm gonna hand it

6:29

to him. daughter to give it to going

6:32

to And I did, to and I'm

6:34

going put it in his And

6:36

pocket. And he put I was in for him at

6:38

the kitchen table one morning So I was like was like for I

6:40

had tears in my eyes. He's like, love you. What is

6:42

it? And I'm like, you'll see. And I And

6:44

he went upstairs here. And he came downstairs eyes.

6:46

four hours later and he just put

6:48

like his like, to his heart and was

6:50

like. went upstairs. Lovey.

6:52

And I was like, I'm done. was That's

6:55

I'm done. I That's all I needed. of

6:57

I mean. book is so crazy The

6:59

outcome of that book. It's

7:01

so crazy that it had this

7:03

fantastic commercial life and we passed

7:05

Obama on the bestseller list and

7:07

my husband made this classic joke

7:10

of like, do you think just

7:12

just rolled over to the New the

7:14

New York list in her hand

7:16

and said, in her the hell is said,

7:18

who the hell is Kelly Corrigan? Which was like

7:20

the perfect visualization. So that it had a life

7:22

for people is kind a life for

7:24

people is kind of amazing. it

7:26

I mean, my mom when she

7:29

read it said, There very good.

7:31

There are no grammatical errors and there's

7:33

no spelling errors. who's gonna want to read gonna

7:35

wanna read about us? Like we're

7:37

not rich, we're not poor, dumb. not We're

7:39

we're not stupid. like it just and I I

7:42

said, I don't know. I really I really

7:44

don't know. that's not not actually

7:46

our problem. That's the the problem.

7:48

problem But I I hear what you're

7:50

saying, think do think it's unlikely that

7:52

people are to read about us. about

7:54

us. On the the bestseller list, list.

7:56

It's a lot of men, and it's a

7:58

lot of men's stories. It's at

8:00

the time, was Barack

8:02

Obama and Tony Dungey, who

8:04

was an NFL coach,

8:06

and like Leigh Iacocca. So

8:08

there are all these.

8:11

business, sports, musicians,

8:14

actors writing their

8:17

memoirs. And then - Conquering

8:19

heroes. Yeah, conquering heroes. And then there

8:21

was like dad. basically. And

8:24

I would say, week after week, I would

8:26

say to my dad, how crazy is this? Like,

8:29

You're on the best seller list. You,

8:32

this is what people want. It's

8:34

just a story about an ordinary

8:36

guy who was

8:39

especially good at. loving people. That's

8:42

so great. That's such a great fact

8:44

about the world that people are interested in

8:46

that story because there's typically like one

8:48

slot on the nonfiction side for somebody like

8:50

me, like like Ypres Love held the

8:52

slot for a long time before me was

8:54

Glass Castle. But those are typically like

8:57

horror stories in a way. Yeah,

8:59

shocking. Yeah, Abuse rape

9:01

and abject poverty. And

9:03

this was like such

9:05

a happy. story. is a

9:08

love story, basically. and

9:10

it worked and people wanted it. I just think

9:12

that's so great. Maybe that's

9:14

why I'm an optimist, you know? Well,

9:16

for sure. One of the

9:18

things though that I think is

9:21

so attractive about your writing

9:23

is that you're very, very detail

9:25

-oriented. so the mundane, you just

9:27

feel like you're standing next

9:29

to you eavesdropping. Like you how

9:31

strong the drinks are or

9:33

what color the pile of laundry

9:36

was that was annoying the

9:38

crap out of you. And did

9:40

you keep journals? I Like Like how

9:42

do you? I did, I do,

9:44

yeah. day? No, but

9:46

more than once a week. And

9:49

for so long now, Manush, like

9:51

grade. So I mean, I have

9:53

like, I have crates. And

9:55

also, I was a letter writer, so I

9:57

used to write these long, detailed letters

9:59

home. from I used to go to I

10:01

YMCA to on the Chesapeake Bay for

10:03

a month every August. Bay for

10:06

a month would send home like

10:08

14 page letters about the bug

10:10

juice and the Sioux letters about the

10:12

the tether ball match. dance and

10:14

the think that for a long

10:16

time I was in the

10:18

habit long time I was in the habit categorizing

10:21

what was happening. what was

10:23

And, you know, it's funny,

10:25

you I it's funny, a little.

10:27

done a little teaching. the

10:29

years. and I always I always say

10:32

to people. the detail that the

10:34

detail that makes it come alive.

10:36

say like I say like, I had

10:38

a drink, say. soda and I had a

10:40

soda, I and don't say I had a soda. say Say I

10:42

had a fanta And don't say I had a Fanta. I

10:44

I had a grape Fanta. say And don't say I had

10:46

a grape Fanta. Say I had a grape Fanta in the...

10:49

was was making my whole hand

10:51

wet. like all of a sudden,

10:53

you went from like having a

10:55

drink a being somewhere, to being

10:57

this one place in space and

10:59

time with this one set of objects

11:01

around you. and And that's just

11:04

totally different experience for a reader. a

11:06

reader and I feel like And I feel

11:08

like that, in I feel like I feel

11:10

like that's the difference between a good conversation

11:12

and a great conversation a a good question.

11:15

and a great question. Do you

11:17

Do you think you have to be a

11:19

writer? You sound like you've always been

11:21

compelled. I struggle with this. Like with

11:23

think, I like it hurts me to sit

11:25

down and write. and I think there

11:28

are other people who are like, other people who

11:30

their body just like moves them to

11:32

the desk and they pick up the

11:34

pen and up there's a force within them

11:36

that takes their ideas and puts them

11:38

on the page. That is not me.

11:40

them on the is not me. not me.

11:42

That is not me. Oh good. I'm compelled

11:45

to communicate. I'm

11:47

I'm compelled to make sense. sense. I'm

11:49

compelled compelled to compare notes. But

11:51

it but have doesn't have to

11:53

be in writing. And in fact, in in

11:55

all the ways that work in the work

11:58

in the world to do those

12:00

three. things, Writing is the least

12:02

satisfying for me because it's

12:04

solitary and I'm not a solitary

12:06

gal. not a solitary

12:09

gal. So, and sometimes I

12:11

feel like. reason why

12:13

The reason why the writing right now,

12:15

in the wake of my mom dying, mom

12:17

dying is more More enjoyable

12:19

for me is because

12:22

grief is isolating. so I

12:24

might as well I might as well just

12:26

be in it and try to make sense

12:28

of it. it. And, you know,

12:30

like I cry a lot when I'm writing. I

12:33

cry a lot That's

12:35

probably a good thing. I mean, it's

12:38

probably helps move things along inside me.

12:41

probably

12:44

a good

12:46

thing. I

12:48

mean, it's

12:50

probably helps

12:52

move things Corrigan. Her

12:54

latest book is called Tell

12:57

Me More. me. Again, if you'd

12:59

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13:01

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