0:00

Hey, just a few quick notes

0:02

before we begin the show. We

0:04

have a couple of auctions up

0:06

right now in eBay for some

0:09

merch that 100% of the proceeds

0:11

are going to help an aunt.

0:13

And some of the items up

0:15

there are signed like the TSD

0:18

memorabilia book, the TSD toolkit. We

0:20

have some rare hats like the

0:22

very first TSD in a flash,

0:24

a baseball cap, trucker cap, and

0:27

there's one monopoly set up there

0:29

as well signed by TSD, including

0:31

Sunday. I also put a link

0:33

in every auction to help the

0:36

aunt with his GoFund me, but

0:38

I'm not sure if eBay allows

0:40

that. So if you don't see

0:42

a link, it's because that's against

0:45

eBay policy. And if you just

0:47

search on eBay, T-E-S-D charity Canadian

0:49

auction, that's where you'll be able

0:51

to see all nine items. And

0:54

finally, I just want to reach

0:56

out to see if there are

0:58

any listeners who might have a

1:00

connection to a print shop. I'm

1:03

developing something I'm really excited about.

1:05

I'm really excited about. It's a

1:07

comic book themed game show for

1:09

the Patreon and I need oversized

1:12

comic book covers amongst other comic

1:14

book related things and staples just

1:16

won't print what I need due

1:18

to copyrights. So I'm hoping I

1:21

can find a listener to help

1:23

me achieve my vision and if

1:25

you have access to a print

1:27

shop or that could help me

1:30

out, hit me up at KMEWES2

1:32

at gmail.com. All right. Also, if

1:34

there are any listeners who are

1:36

in the fields of reviewing jobs

1:39

for efficiency or, you know, evaluations,

1:41

work performance reviews, if you'd like

1:43

to be on the show, please

1:46

email me at K-mus-2 at K-E-W-E-S-2@gmail.com

1:48

and I can maybe explain a

1:50

little better what I'm looking for,

1:52

but I'm looking for somebody who,

1:55

it's hard to put in words,

1:57

but just evaluates employees, evaluates, evaluates,

1:59

companies like Feed on how to

2:01

make it more efficient. So thank

2:04

you and let's get

2:06

started. time

2:24

Steve Dave presents The

2:39

power.

2:58

Oh, and welcome to

3:00

Tell them Steve Dave

3:02

presents Overkill. We love

3:04

these, don't we, Walt.

3:06

Yes. Love the overkill.

3:08

Yes, it's been a while

3:10

since the Overkill Mistro

3:13

has graced us with his

3:15

presence. T-O-M for short.

3:17

B-Qs here. And yeah, we

3:19

got Tom T.O.O.M. Hello

3:21

boys. Overkill Mistrow.

3:23

Great to be here. Beloved, Thomas.

3:26

You say that, but I don't

3:28

think that's true. By some. Couple.

3:30

Were you, I know that

3:32

politically, I know which way

3:35

you lean, how did you feel

3:37

about Trump getting ticked by from

3:39

everybody? Is this where we're going?

3:41

Actually, you know what, I'm actually

3:43

pretty happy. I was, well, you

3:46

know what, I can't say that

3:48

because... Sunday without tick-tock was the most

3:50

productive day I had in like two years. Really?

3:52

Oh yeah. I wasn't taking you for a tick-tock

3:55

guy. You know what? It's a lot of recipes,

3:57

a lot of like different things, and

3:59

without them... Like, by like 915, I'd

4:01

done two loads of laundry, emptied

4:03

the dishwasher, food prep for the

4:05

week, kids had breakfast, I had

4:07

breakfast, everything was done. What man

4:09

is being fucking preoccupied by fucking

4:11

recipe, tick-tock videos? This guy, I

4:13

grew up on, bullshit, I'm on

4:15

bullshit, he's not watching tick-tock for

4:17

recipes. Oh, yeah. It's a little

4:19

tork in action, I think. All

4:21

you think it's a tork in

4:23

on TikTok? Yeah. I thought that

4:25

must have been very hard for

4:27

Democrats liberals, you know, to reconcile

4:29

with is like, because it's a

4:31

big liberal sort of platform. Tic-tac-as.

4:34

A lot of people like to

4:36

use it to, you know, express

4:38

their political beliefs and show. Okay.

4:40

It's not just recipes. It's not

4:42

just recipes. Are you sure? I

4:44

don't know if I've ever seen

4:46

a recipe on there. I've been

4:48

on there a couple times. I

4:50

don't know if I've ever seen

4:52

a recipe on there. I've been

4:54

on there a couple times. I

4:56

don't know if I've ever seen

4:58

a couple times. I don't know

5:00

if I've ever seen a couple

5:02

times. I don't know if I've

5:04

been on there a bunch of.

5:06

I've... like Troy's wife has a

5:08

big tick-tock following and presence there

5:10

and she uses it for her

5:12

business so I couldn't she just

5:14

go to a different platform though

5:16

she could but it's like once

5:18

you've amassed especially some of these

5:20

people who have millions of followers

5:22

aren't we putting our national security

5:24

at risk so or Where we

5:26

can just go to a different

5:28

fucking platform? Are we? Because Timo's

5:30

still around and they steal all

5:32

your credit card information. What's that?

5:34

Timo? Sheen, too, right? I think

5:36

she does, too. Yeah, Timo, 100%

5:38

you will get your credit card

5:40

information stolen. And that's over. What

5:42

does Timo do? Timo makes low

5:44

quality, high amounts of crappy products.

5:46

Like, yeah, but that's not a

5:48

content platform, though. Like they're still...

5:50

But it's your data? It's your

5:52

credit card information, and it's going

5:54

out where, and they know it.

5:56

Okay, let's shut it down if

5:58

it's a criminal website, but we're

6:00

bringing back, and I don't know

6:02

anything about Texas, I've never been

6:04

on it, but if it's causing

6:07

us to give away valuable secrets

6:09

to China. Very valuable. I don't

6:11

understand why China. I agree. Troy's

6:13

wife needs a platform, but can't

6:15

you go to YouTube or some

6:17

other platform? Rather than put our

6:19

security at risk. If TikTok was

6:21

gone, they would all have no

6:23

choice. Right. But if they put

6:25

everything at risk, why did it

6:27

come back then? I don't know.

6:29

Trump somehow intervened and... stepped in

6:31

and got it back within a

6:33

matter of hours. And I was

6:35

watching people melt the fuck down

6:37

on YouTube man like crying and

6:39

like this is a stab at

6:41

our free speech. This is constitutional.

6:43

They're coming. Oh boy. But yeah,

6:45

I mean, there are other platforms

6:47

like you have Snapchat, you have

6:49

Instagram. There are other Facebook. Yeah,

6:51

I don't understand the. The dire

6:53

need to keep this one if

6:55

it really was what they said

6:57

it was unless they're lying about

6:59

it This is where we need

7:01

the kids Unless they were short

7:03

form and the algorithm has a

7:05

lot to do with it like

7:07

YouTube doesn't give you that kind

7:09

of algorithm that tick-tock does Where

7:11

like you're you're thinking like how

7:13

many tick-tock videos are you going

7:15

through in like a 10-minute span

7:17

a ton? So we kind of

7:19

like I was gonna say zero

7:21

people now. I think you have

7:23

zero hundred and a million people

7:25

disagree with that. Well, but they're

7:27

productive I'm sure. I'm not here

7:29

to shit on anybody's favorite platform.

7:31

But I mean it seems like

7:33

if China's like cipher, I don't

7:35

even know what information they can

7:37

get off of it. Like what

7:40

is... What information is trying to

7:42

get? Twerking. Our best twerking, fucking.

7:44

It's working. We gotta share that

7:46

with the world, man. I'd like

7:48

to- some Chinese girls twirking. There's

7:50

a there's a fuck ton of

7:52

fake like UFOs, fake drone, being

7:54

chased by fighter jets, like there's

7:56

all that kind of stuff on

7:58

TikTok too. Yeah. Yeah, the only

8:00

time I go to it is

8:02

if like Troy sends me something

8:04

and it happens to be on

8:06

TikTok. That'll go, but otherwise, yeah,

8:08

I don't, I don't, I'm... I'm

8:10

too old. Maybe an American platform

8:12

would have filled that void. Well

8:14

that's what they were saying. They

8:16

were going to sell it to

8:18

an American company and then now

8:20

it's like I think half ownership

8:22

has to be by an American

8:24

company which I don't know if

8:26

that's for oversight or like how

8:28

that affects. I don't know because

8:30

I'm stealing the information. Four of

8:32

the five people on the like

8:34

board of directors are American. So

8:36

I don't know how much more

8:38

American you can get and four

8:40

to five of them are already

8:42

American. I guess it's only wholly

8:44

by that bite dancer or whatever,

8:46

a bit dance, you know. Yeah,

8:48

bite dance. Who cares about TikTok?

8:50

Let's get in some scary stuff.

8:52

All right, jumping right in. All

8:54

right, so I have first for

8:56

you. Has anyone ever heard of

8:58

the Kappa? Kappa, K-A-P-A. It is

9:00

not. It is a sometimes maleficent

9:02

creature from Japanese folklore, described as

9:04

a small reptilian humanoid with web

9:06

hands and feet, and a turtle-like

9:08

shell. Its skin is typically slimy

9:11

and green, and it has three

9:13

anises that allow to release an

9:15

extriner amount of gas. But the...

9:17

Most of the time it does

9:19

simple things, it looks up ladies

9:21

comonos, up skirts. Yes. Yes. Yes.

9:23

Really ticked up. We got to

9:25

cancel Kappa Kappa, whatever his name

9:27

is. Yeah. He also likes the

9:29

sumo. wrestle people he drags them

9:31

into the water and sumo wrestles

9:33

them. How big would this creature

9:35

be then? Uh, the size of

9:37

a suit. Like Jimmy size? Like

9:39

Jimmy, like four foot tallish. But

9:41

what it's mostly known... That's a

9:43

big advantage when you're trying to

9:45

get up skirts. I bet you're

9:47

being there for... Oh I bet.

9:49

Oh yeah. Oh yeah. And I'm

9:51

thinking a lot of times he

9:53

does it from like under the

9:55

water. So he's just sort of

9:57

as they come close to the

9:59

water he's looking up for. He's

10:01

looking up for it. But the

10:03

water he's looking up for it.

10:05

But the water he's looking up

10:07

for it. But the water he's

10:09

looking up for it. But the

10:11

water he's looking up for it.

10:13

But the water he's looking up

10:15

for it. But the water he's

10:17

looking up for it. But the

10:19

water he's looking up for. But

10:21

the water he's looking up for.

10:23

But the water he's looking up

10:25

for. But the, he's looking up

10:27

for. But Sharika Domo, a mythical

10:29

ball said to contain a person's

10:31

soul, and how does he suck

10:33

it out? Through their anus. Wow.

10:35

So he's got three anuses. He

10:37

has three anuses. He goes out

10:39

to your anis. Yes, and sucks

10:41

your soul through your anus. We're

10:44

kind of looking at a picture

10:46

of him. That is a picture

10:48

of Kappa's having sex under the

10:50

water. It's a strange little picture.

10:52

Is that two guys on one,

10:54

two cappas on one lady? That's

10:56

what it appears to be, yeah.

10:58

More than one cappa, they were

11:00

race. Yeah. Oh, they're like little

11:02

gargoyles. Yes. Well, they're pretty big

11:04

gargoyles if you look at the

11:06

size of the lady, so. I

11:08

imagine you did some research on

11:10

this, right? Yes. All right, what?

11:12

But I guarantee you, whatever weird

11:14

question you have, I probably don't

11:16

have the answer. It's the question

11:18

that's on everyone, everyone's fucking. Tip

11:20

at our top, listening. Yes. Do

11:22

Kappa's twirk. Why? Why do they

11:24

have three anuses? Oh, to release

11:26

gas faster. Like, they like to

11:28

fart a lot, and the amount

11:30

needed, they needed three anuses. Are

11:32

the assholes right on top of

11:34

each other? They're located at different

11:36

parts of the bar. They're right

11:38

next to each other, one, two,

11:40

three. Kind of a waist then.

11:42

Well, I mean, I didn't create

11:44

the Kappa. Yeah, so you fart

11:46

in their face and it repels

11:48

them from sucking your soul through

11:50

your anus. But you're like, you're

11:52

opening it up to them. Like,

11:54

what if you open it up

11:56

and you don't have the guess

11:58

to back it up? I guess

12:00

your soul's going on. Oh boy.

12:02

And what country is this from?

12:04

Japanese. Japan. So this, they're, they're

12:06

so into these weird, fucking, anime,

12:08

porn and shit like this. Technical

12:10

porn, all that way. They're a

12:12

weird country, man. Yeah, they like,

12:14

they have like, what are those

12:17

machines, like, the vending machines with

12:19

like, girls, panties in them and

12:21

stuff? I have heard

12:23

that. I don't know, I mean,

12:25

I don't know how true it

12:27

is, but... I wonder what that

12:29

costs you, it runs you. You're

12:31

walking about... You're a girl's panties?

12:33

Yeah. Like less than 30 or

12:35

more? I don't know what's the

12:37

issue. My head was 50. Seems

12:39

fair? That's not what you'd be

12:41

willing to pay. Well, it depends

12:43

on the girl, like, I don't

12:45

want her panties. What if it

12:47

comes a little bio? Okay, well,

12:50

yeah, picture. All right, like, like,

12:52

which is Camico. Yeah, this is

12:54

Camico. She wore this whole bike

12:56

riding. I probably, you know, I

12:58

would be worried about Camico a

13:00

little bit. Oh wow, look at

13:02

that. Yeah, I don't get that

13:04

one. She had a steady diet

13:06

of ruffage. The day before she

13:08

wore these, the day before she

13:10

wore these panties. So there's a

13:12

lot of aroma. Yeah. For you,

13:14

be cute for that 50, you

13:17

just drop. 50 bucks. I could

13:19

put that a cup of hot

13:21

water, make a tea out of

13:23

it. That would be nice. Yeah,

13:25

so it's so it'd be roughly

13:27

a hundred fifty-year and then if

13:29

it was fifty bucks. Hmm. Three

13:31

dollars and twenty-two cents. Right. Wow.

13:33

So Brian, I don't know, do

13:35

you partake in the analingus that

13:37

you need to concern yourself with

13:39

that Mary Beth may be sucking?

13:41

She may fire at my face.

13:43

Well, no, suck your soul out.

13:46

Oh, that happened a long time

13:48

ago. I'm not concerned about that.

13:50

I don't know who did it.

13:52

Somebody was back there. Yeah, so

13:54

they took the soul. Now, why's

13:56

the last time one of these

13:58

creatures has been... Scene or in

14:00

in recent time or is it?

14:02

No, it's an ancient it's an

14:04

ancient one. feudal Japan correct not

14:06

anything recent that we really have

14:08

to worry about I mean that

14:10

anyone's admitting I don't really know

14:13

that said they're an endangered or

14:15

possibly extinct species one of Japan

14:17

Japan's treasures is done could be

14:19

Wow, and they look like little

14:21

gameros with the little shell and

14:23

shit. Yeah, the little like frog

14:25

turtle like creatures. Yes, but they

14:27

so they drag you under water

14:29

to do this so they because

14:31

it looks like they're underwater having

14:33

sex with this leg yeah it's

14:35

sort of separate so they do

14:37

drag people underwater normally it's for

14:39

like sumo wrestling they they tend

14:42

to do the grabbing the the

14:44

shingodoro ball through your ass on

14:46

land rapist in a half shell

14:48

yeah nice i mean it do

14:50

look like little little ninja turtles

14:52

don't they that last picture the

14:54

statues yeah there's a lot of

14:56

different takes on them right It

14:58

looks like Michelangelo and Leonardo. Yeah.

15:00

You're like, what are they wearing?

15:02

It only ate into pizza. Pizza

15:04

ass. So what's your defense against

15:06

that? You were standing by a

15:09

river. You dropped your pants, you

15:11

dropped your pants, one starts coming

15:13

close to you, latches on, what

15:15

are you doing? I would fart.

15:17

I mean, I guess I was

15:19

just placed. Can you fart on

15:21

command? I can? Really. I have

15:23

that ability to have that ability

15:25

to. I remember. Yeah. Wow, yeah,

15:27

no, I'm pretty I feel pretty

15:29

safe about it. I could I

15:31

could how do you How do

15:33

you? How do you pull that

15:35

off being able to do that

15:38

on demand? This is an it

15:40

is an interior muscle that I

15:42

can squeeze and get one out

15:44

if needed as I've ever been

15:46

having gone south. You're like oh

15:48

fuck. No, that muscle also control

15:50

of that muscle keeps them in

15:52

as well. So I can lock

15:54

them in so I'm also good

15:56

to not Not blessed one out

15:58

if necessary. I'm great on planes.

16:00

You sit next to me a

16:02

plane, you're not getting a stink.

16:05

Now I guess I can protect

16:07

against cappas as as well. I

16:09

don't have that. I don't have

16:11

that ability. To what, to keep

16:13

it in? To keep note. Yeah,

16:15

it's coming, it's coming. No, I

16:17

don't have that either, no. So

16:19

you're just gonna have to fight

16:21

one off I guess? I would

16:23

just fucking curb stomp that little

16:25

fucker. Yeah, they are pretty small.

16:27

And do they only go after

16:29

women or do they go after

16:31

guys too? It goes after both.

16:34

Yeah. Yeah. So, um, um, um,

16:36

protect your protectorator, protect your buttel.

16:38

I guess so. Man, now I'm

16:40

worried about one of those things

16:42

like wearing a wig and makeup

16:44

to try and fool me. Like

16:46

Bremmland's too? Yeah, like I'd love

16:48

to eat your butt Brian and

16:50

then suddenly my soul's gone. It's

16:52

dangerous. And it comes, your soul,

16:54

it comes encased in a sphere

16:56

like ball, huh? Yes, a little

16:58

ball called a shirica domo. Where's

17:01

that ball? Is it... So why

17:03

would that ball be in your

17:05

butt though? That's what I was

17:07

just wondering like of all the

17:09

orifices you could take it out

17:11

of why Yeah, it's it's warm.

17:13

It's something you'd protect right? I

17:15

mean you wouldn't it's out of

17:17

the way back there. Yeah, let

17:19

people in your mouth I mean

17:21

you'd let like mouth to mouth

17:23

to butt contact I mean you'd

17:25

let like mouth to mouth contact

17:27

very right around here boy I

17:30

mean you'd let like mouth to

17:32

mouth contact very easily but you

17:34

wouldn't necessarily let mouth to butt

17:36

contact as easily as that correct

17:38

yeah it's probably your safest orifice

17:40

you got It's a prison pocket.

17:42

Yeah, it's hard to get at.

17:44

Yeah, that's how you protect your

17:46

soul. In Japan. They literally, in

17:48

that drunk, they look like turtles

17:50

for real. Like they have turtle

17:52

shells. And Mo Howard too. They

17:54

have like a Mo Howard hair.

17:57

Yeah, they got like the monk

17:59

thing going on. It kind of

18:01

looks like... I'm going to go

18:03

on this again. The nose? It

18:05

would be an interesting Halloween costume.

18:07

What are you? I'm a Kappa.

18:09

You know we do. You can't

18:11

tell by the three assholes. Or

18:14

the fact that I'm sucking your

18:16

butt, trying to get your soul.

18:18

Dad, do you think this was

18:20

an arrow when the butt wasn't

18:22

as taboo as it is in

18:25

2025? Is it that taboo now? Oh,

18:27

yeah. I think they're probably for a

18:29

little bit. Are you talking this conversation?

18:31

No, no, no, no. I'm saying I'm

18:33

saying that I would feel bothered then

18:35

it's probably more taboo. I think now

18:37

people are pretty open to it. To

18:40

what? To butt stuff. I don't

18:42

think it's this taboo now. Do

18:44

you do butt stuff? I do

18:46

not know. Yeah, I didn't think

18:48

so. You got to look about

18:50

you. You're not doing butt stuff.

18:53

I didn't figure you for a

18:55

butt stuff. Well, that's a bad

18:57

one. It looks like his ass

18:59

is on fire. Yeah, pulling out

19:01

intestines for his ass. Well,

19:03

it's... If you had to

19:06

distract your soul, you only

19:08

pick one person. Who are you

19:10

going in? Like I need you

19:12

to get my soul out. Like

19:14

out of my ass? Because there's

19:17

a... Well, that's where... Purple you

19:19

told us that's where it is?

19:21

Poison, like suck out of snakes

19:23

poison. There's a demon. There's a

19:25

demon. There's a demon coming, you

19:28

know? You gotta go Father Lance.

19:30

Father Lance, that's a good choice.

19:32

Father Lance, I know this is

19:34

going to sound weird. Really? Yeah,

19:36

I feel over a man of the cloth.

19:39

Yeah. But the lack of teeth, it's too.

19:41

And the lack of suction he must have

19:43

because of the lack of the front teeth.

19:45

Listen, I've seen get him clean a bowl

19:47

in like five seconds. If I need this

19:49

done quickly, I don't know what Father Lance's

19:52

skills are. I'm sure if I need to

19:54

get him to do it. I've seen him

19:56

go with a pork pork bowl. He's getting

19:58

it done real quick. I don't know.

20:00

I don't know. I don't know.

20:03

I don't know if I'm going

20:05

on in the office wall. I

20:07

don't know if that was going

20:09

on in the office while. I'm

20:11

like, this is disgusting. I don't

20:13

want anyone to fumble them back

20:16

there, I just know what they're

20:18

doing. I want an expert. Wow.

20:20

I don't know. I don't know

20:22

if I get him's the guy

20:24

I'm going to. He does everything

20:26

I've asked him do. He does

20:29

half asked. Right, so like half

20:31

your soul is gone and you're

20:33

like so fucking... Well I got

20:35

a quarter of the ball out.

20:37

That's good enough, isn't it? I

20:40

did send you that performance review.

20:42

You could do another episode. We

20:44

have sheets for performance reviews for

20:46

get them. Oh, very good. Oh,

20:48

okay. Excellent. See, we are wearing

20:50

your copper sleeve. And you didn't

20:53

put a mic up after I

20:55

even did you? Okay, you got

20:57

your sleeve on is that because

20:59

of the Dr. D's Recommendation or

21:01

yeah, yeah, yeah. Dr. D's a

21:03

big hit. A great episode. Oh,

21:06

yeah, really like. Oh, good. Yeah,

21:08

very, very well received. Oh, very

21:10

good. Well, she was, she's, she's,

21:12

excellent. Yeah, she was, great. Any

21:14

other questions about cappas before we

21:16

move on? I'm pretty covered on

21:19

them. Yeah, that was exhaustive. All

21:21

right. They look fucked up though,

21:23

like they look. In this picture,

21:25

it looks threatening. This is the

21:27

way I'm calling people underwater. To

21:30

look, right? Yeah, they're like turtles.

21:32

Actually, I do have something. I

21:34

want to ask the guys, what

21:36

do you think fuels this? This

21:38

person, whatever I ever person who

21:40

came up at the cap, what

21:43

do you think that he get

21:45

caught, beaten ass? Did he have

21:47

an animal eating his ass? And

21:49

what happened that he came up

21:51

with this outlandish story to cover?

21:53

something. Yes. You don't think it's

21:56

started as like a Japanese fart

21:58

joke that just got out of

22:00

hand where they were like sitting

22:02

around fishing and they'll like you

22:04

know be funny if that fucking

22:07

turtle came out and like you

22:09

farted in its face and then

22:11

it just went on from there?

22:13

I'd like to think though that

22:15

not since man walked out of

22:17

the fucking primordial ooze that farts

22:20

have been comical. Why would you

22:22

assume that? Of course they have

22:24

been. Because it's like it's so

22:26

it's so fucking... Goofish and

22:28

and and and sophomoreic low brow like

22:31

there's nothing more unfunny than a fart

22:33

in my opinion. That's insane I stand

22:35

by that. It's like the two most

22:38

funny things on the planet are fucking

22:40

clowns and farts. How are farts on

22:42

funny? Farts are funny. It's just not

22:45

funny. I've never... I think I'm in

22:47

place. Yeah, yeah, they gotta be deployed

22:49

correctly, but like sure. So do you

22:52

think someone who can fart on command

22:54

is not funny? No. No. How you

22:56

made it this far we own up?

22:59

I can't really fart in command. I

23:01

just wish I could. No, I guarantee,

23:03

like, it's, it's to me a fart

23:06

joke transcends almost anything because you don't

23:08

want it to, it's universal. Everybody, everybody

23:10

experiences it. I've never, parted? No, I've

23:13

never heard a female fart, my entire

23:15

life. I've never been in a room

23:17

when a female has let loose, let

23:20

one rip. Even from another room, if

23:22

it's like a boo, a sonic woman

23:24

type thing? Wow. But they do. What?

23:27

Like they're on the bathroom. They're blowing

23:29

it up, you know, like echoes in

23:31

the toilet. Never heard that never. Wow.

23:34

Yeah, I've never actually heard that either,

23:36

but I have heard girls fart though.

23:38

Yeah, but they do. They do. And

23:40

a legitimate fart. Yeah, like a full

23:43

on rip because of too much beans

23:45

or whatever. Well, whatever. Yeah. Well, no.

23:47

What I mean is like a surf

23:50

in like the dark ages. I parted

23:52

in front of his friends and his

23:54

friends were like, oh, would you eat

23:57

less? You know, I just think it's

23:59

like, it's, it binds us all far

24:01

humor. I think it, it, across the

24:04

ages, across. There must have been kings

24:06

who were entertained by like jesters and

24:08

shit. Oh, for sure. Well, just now,

24:11

can I consume. Yeah, like, they all,

24:13

pharaohs, laughed at a good far joke,

24:15

the poorest human ever. I want cavemen.

24:18

I hope to live to an age

24:20

where. Fart jokes aren't funny anymore. I

24:22

just find them so lame. I really

24:25

do. Since the dawn of time, I

24:27

don't know. I really think we're advancing.

24:29

Yeah? And we're getting smarter and we're

24:32

getting more. Oh boy. Tooktocks being everybody

24:34

smarter. Is it? I just want to

24:36

surround myself with people who don't laugh

24:39

at far jokes. I just do. You've

24:41

been depending on the far joke, like

24:43

what if it was a funny far

24:46

joke? I've yet to hear one. Well,

24:48

if he's afraid to save it, funny

24:50

to see it. Oh, no, I just

24:53

revealed this now. Don't say that. Have

24:55

you ever heard Get him, Crackerat? I

24:57

don't think I have. Wow. Geez. All

25:00

right. I certainly wouldn't laugh. I'd be

25:02

annoyed. You'd be upset. Why did you

25:04

get the fuck out of here and

25:06

do that? Don't you have the decency

25:09

to go into the bathroom, you fucking-

25:11

My wife is like that with burp.

25:13

Animal? I don't know why. Yeah, like

25:16

if I'm like I'm drinking some soda

25:18

and I like having a big burp,

25:20

you know. She doesn't like it. So

25:23

now I do it on purpose. Of

25:25

course. She fucked up. She should have

25:27

never let me know. But why isn't

25:30

a burp just as funny as a

25:32

fart? Can be. Burp could be outside

25:34

the point. Oh, come on. There it's

25:37

true we were sitting here one time

25:39

and get him was in the middle

25:41

of saying something and you just went

25:44

blah And dude I fucking died laughing

25:46

It was that there was that time

25:48

you burped in the yarn lady's face.

25:51

That's not true He came around the

25:53

corner. He didn't realize she was there.

25:55

He was like one out I thought

25:58

you caught it. It wasn't funny. I

26:00

was mortified. I have never burps in

26:02

my life. Shut up. Shut up. I

26:05

feel like your sandwich thing, but never

26:07

worked. You would need to get checked

26:09

out. Yeah, I actually do. It's like

26:12

a paralyzed thing in your larynx that

26:14

I don't burp. Yeah. Never burp. Yeah.

26:16

No, I don't believe it. Do you

26:19

believe this cue? It seems unlikely to

26:21

me, but I don't know why. That

26:23

should have been a one-truth three, you

26:26

fucking dope? What are you doing at

26:28

a tournament this year? Oh, okay. I

26:30

guarantee you're fucking forgetting. So what do

26:32

we find? I'm not going to forget

26:35

that. Nobody's going to forget that. Nobody's

26:37

going to forget that. Never burp yet.

26:39

So you had to go early on

26:42

to the doctor to find out why

26:44

gas doesn't affect you, right? Why you

26:46

have no gas? No, I mean, I

26:49

far, I just don't burp. Yeah, it's

26:51

the, it's the, it's the weirdest thing.

26:53

Drink soda, nothing happens. If I lay

26:56

on my left side and like open

26:58

my mouth like this like weird like

27:00

creek comes out, cannot burp. Wow. Yeah,

27:03

it's weird. And what the doctor say

27:05

is about a paralyzed. It's a parallelization

27:07

in your like larynx. How'd that happen?

27:10

It's like a muscle. Some people just

27:12

have it. This is what he has.

27:14

No burp syndrome. Retrograde. Crisco Ferry. Okay,

27:17

I can't read that word. It sounds

27:19

so uncomfortable. Some kind of disruption. You

27:21

get like a Botox shop, but there

27:24

is no chance on this earth. Like,

27:26

what's the benefit? I get to burp.

27:28

You stick and you hand my throat

27:31

and your fucking forehead. No, no, they

27:33

put it in your throat. I don't

27:35

want to needle in a rope. For

27:38

an extra one for that fucking forehead,

27:40

it's a needle one. Like you're out

27:42

of that second chin. Yeah. This fucking

27:45

guy don't talk for a full month.

27:47

What's on the camera? So you're telling

27:49

me then all the, all your guests

27:52

that you store up has to come

27:54

out in one spot on one spot.

27:56

Yes. Yes. before you got married that

27:58

you had this syndrome? Well I've been

28:01

with my wife 20 years so no

28:03

I don't. Did you have to tell

28:05

her like you know why? I don't

28:08

think I really thought about it for

28:10

like the longest time. Like the longest

28:12

time I'd ever like thought about like

28:15

hey I don't burp until like one

28:17

day like everyone was burp and like

28:19

you burp I was like I can't.

28:22

They're like well that's weird I never

28:24

really thought about the fact that I

28:26

just couldn't do it. Yeah. And how

28:29

long did you have glasses too as

28:31

a kid? No, I did not have

28:33

glasses as a kid. Now it says

28:36

you're supposed to have difficulty vomiting or

28:38

a fear of it, do you? I

28:40

don't vomit very often. I have a

28:43

fear of vomiting. I could rip a

28:45

fucking burp though. Just a young lady.

28:47

Gurgling noises. Look at the fourth one.

28:50

Gurgling noises from the neck and chest.

28:52

Yeah, if I lay on my left-hand

28:54

side, like open my mouth, it like,

28:57

it's like... Do you tend to not

28:59

lay on your left side so your

29:01

missus doesn't hear this weird gurgling? She

29:04

knows, like, she'll be like, roll over.

29:06

Yeah. You're gurgling again. Weirdly. It's not

29:08

a joke. Roll over, I want to

29:11

know if that's the pipes or not.

29:13

The pipes or not. Or not. Or

29:15

not. Or not. So for you, I

29:18

can't imagine, burping is a humorous... It's

29:20

not. No. No. It's the opposite. Yeah.

29:22

It's like, I guess, jealous. Yeah. Do

29:25

you, do you enjoy a fart joke?

29:27

Uh, yeah. Yeah, I think it's pretty

29:29

universal. I agree with them. I considered

29:31

you so fucking intelligent too. But that

29:34

makes it low brown. Absolutely. Absolutely. I

29:36

had so much respect for you. uh...

29:38

listen and the right context a part

29:41

joke can be fun yeah i don't

29:43

think every far joke yeah not every

29:45

like if if this guy lets one

29:48

go no it's not gonna be funny

29:50

that's no joke especially if like you're

29:52

not like i know some people will

29:55

like you know if they get into

29:57

a car together somebody will fart and

29:59

it'll be like Jim Norton is one

30:02

of these guys where you purposely and

30:04

uh... Jim Florentine another one will purposely

30:06

fart and like to almost like make

30:09

your eyes here yeah yeah so you

30:11

have to to roll down the window.

30:13

Yeah, I don't, I don't, I don't

30:16

discuss that, I don't either. Is it

30:18

because you, like a super-smeller? Is that

30:20

like, you have such sensitive nose to

30:23

it, like you fear? I'm just a

30:25

fucking human being for a moment. I

30:27

just have, I just consider other people's

30:30

feelings and don't feel that I want

30:32

to subject them to the fucking odors

30:34

that come out of my body. I

30:37

don't, it doesn't necessarily have to be

30:39

about the odors, it's sometimes it's just

30:41

a sound. Yeah, like if you're in

30:44

the supermarket and you see like an

30:46

old woman bent down to pick up

30:48

like a can of beans from the

30:51

bottom shelf, you don't go, and make

30:53

your, make your fucking friends laugh. You're

30:55

smiling. Because I can't believe that a

30:57

fucking guy who is fucking hailed as

31:00

one of the fucking greatest comedians in

31:02

the last 10 years. Yeah, a fucking,

31:04

IJ? I Jay. Well, a successful successful

31:07

comedy comedy show comedy show in... It

31:09

is now telling on Mike that you

31:11

think it's funny if an old lady

31:14

is bending over and somebody goes, yeah,

31:16

yeah, it's hysterical. Leslie Nielsen was doing

31:18

it. Especially she hears it. You know

31:21

what, I will say this too, if

31:23

I do fart at the house around

31:25

people, I'll immediately blame Sage. And I'm

31:28

like this most disgusting person on earth.

31:30

Like, dad! I like to argue about

31:32

it. So that, to me, that's funny.

31:35

If you're watching a movie and a

31:37

character bends over, you don't go, and

31:39

make your man laugh. Never laugh. Now,

31:42

I've had two Frenchies and they tend

31:44

to do that a lot. They will

31:46

pass gas. Yeah. Never once thought it

31:49

was funnier and made a joke about

31:51

it. I try to not. Try to

31:53

acknowledge it. I just try to like,

31:56

you know. I'm telling you, next time

31:58

you're watching a movie or a TV

32:00

show and a character bends over and

32:03

you're watching it with your wife, just

32:05

go, it'll kill. It'll kill. I highly

32:07

doubt it that she's going to find

32:10

that funny. She's going to think, the

32:12

biggest fucking redneck. What happened in your

32:14

life that you're this anti-filed? I just

32:17

don't think it's funny. I've never thought

32:19

it was funny. I've never, I've never

32:21

been, I just think it's rude. I

32:23

think it's, I think it's a lack

32:26

of, of, uh, consideration for people around

32:28

you. It's, it's, yeah. What about in

32:30

a movie or something, movie or TV

32:33

show? What? What will you be? To

32:35

utilize to make a quick joke? Yeah,

32:37

you don't have to, you don't have

32:40

to smell it. Have you seen Blazing

32:42

Saddles? Never saw it. Oh, okay. Yeah,

32:44

it's good jokes. Good fart jokes in

32:47

there. Yeah, whole scene about it. Or

32:49

if a spy was hiding behind like

32:51

a computer console and an enemy lair

32:54

are hiding out in the fate of

32:56

the worlds and they figure out that

32:58

he's there. That's comedy gold. Yeah, that's

33:01

some good stuff. It's like lost of

33:03

power shit. That was about very successful.

33:05

Very successful movies. Yeah, baby. Yeah, there

33:08

you go. Yeah, that's the funniest line

33:10

in the whole fucking movie. Yeah, baby.

33:12

Could you work a really good market?

33:15

And a small person being called Mini

33:17

Me. How are you to comedy? Wow,

33:19

now you're angry at Austin Powers. And

33:22

a fat bastard. Yeah, you don't like

33:24

that either. I've never been more... I

33:26

don't want to say a sheen, but

33:29

like... I've never been more like I

33:31

didn't really want to know Sunday when

33:33

he was fucking so into Austin Powers

33:36

that he was collecting everything Austin Powers.

33:38

Oh really? Yeah I just was so

33:40

like... I got the rare barrier where

33:43

it says fat bastard instead of fat

33:45

guy. Yes! Yes! Yes! That's true. He

33:47

brought both versions. Where are those tonight?

33:49

Where are those tonight? Is he still

33:52

out? He sold that shit at a

33:54

loss on eBay. When his life went

33:56

to hell. What's that go for? What's

33:59

that go for? What's that go for?

34:01

What's that go for? What's life went

34:03

to hell? All right, a fat bastard

34:06

is going on eBay right now for

34:08

$35. That's not too bad. It's tumbled

34:10

a lot. And it's height. It was

34:13

way more than that. It's been listed

34:15

for four years. Sorry I for it.

34:17

That was the actual line. Yep, yep,

34:20

that's what I'm saying. I know they

34:22

were successful. But they were a mystery

34:24

to me is why they were that

34:27

successful. Oh, they were fun. Yeah, I

34:29

like the first I like the first

34:31

one a lot. Yeah, the first one's

34:34

great You know what I re-watched it

34:36

a couple years ago held up didn't

34:38

love it as much as I don't

34:41

say that Yeah, I think the sequels

34:43

probably got a little too into there

34:45

were themselves in the first one. It

34:48

was really funny. Okay. All right. Where's

34:50

fat guy? Fat man. Is that him?

34:52

Did you imagine that you imagine that?

34:55

This is an error before all the

34:57

shit went nuts that they had to

34:59

change it the fact shaming and shit

35:02

Yeah Well I don't think every fact

35:04

every far joke is funny, but I

35:06

do think that it's it's a potent

35:09

comedy tool in the right hands Hey

35:11

it and who I'm not saying that

35:13

it doesn't land because it certainly does

35:15

but it You know, I just would

35:18

like to surround myself with people who

35:20

don't find it that funny. It's way

35:22

too late. Yeah, I don't know where

35:25

you're going. I don't know. Yeah, there's

35:27

a whole whooping cushion industry built around.

35:29

Yeah, I understand that, yeah, the segment

35:32

of the population will find that funny,

35:34

but... So, years back, you're going through

35:36

the back of comics and like, they're

35:39

selling whoopie cushions. Yes. You're just like,

35:41

cross, cross, you know, like, cross-up. No.

35:43

No. Not for me. Hmm. Ready for

35:46

number two? Hold on, let me read

35:48

something. No, we've run into this whole.

35:50

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Prize Picks is back. Prize Picks is

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37:48

I told that thought, right? I want

37:50

to ask you, I have a, I, this weekend,

37:52

my, my lions lost and I

37:54

had, I've been finding myself in

37:57

a depressed state because of

37:59

it. Oh boy. I want to

38:01

ask you, how did you handle it

38:03

like this past baseball season when both

38:06

your teams didn't win? How did you

38:08

come out of it? How did you

38:10

get yourself out of this? I'm still

38:12

not out of it. Really? Yeah, look

38:15

at me. He's not even glowing about

38:17

fact. Yeah. Really, I was hoping that

38:19

you could help me get me out

38:22

of my funk. There's absolutely nothing. worse

38:24

in this world than when your sports

38:26

team loses. There's only one way. This

38:29

is not what I expected. It's the

38:31

fucking worst, dude. There's no way to

38:33

get past it, I don't think. You

38:35

just got to hold on until victory

38:38

comes your way. Did you see in

38:40

the lion's stand they were stomping that

38:42

guy's head because I guess he was

38:45

like from the opposing team and he

38:47

was given the lion's fan shit. dark

38:49

empty room for two days. There's nothing

38:52

worse than a fucking self-hating New Jersey

38:54

and rooting for a fucking Philadelphia theme.

38:56

I'll tell you what like. There's nothing

38:58

worse than a fucking self-hating New Jersey

39:01

and rooting for a fucking Philadelphia theme.

39:03

I'll tell you what like, I mean

39:05

we're watching this guy get stomped at

39:08

the Lions game. Wow. Why you would

39:10

go to uh... Another stadium with your

39:12

like I know you like to represent

39:15

stuff, but it seems like suicide almost

39:17

Well the NFL has a major problem

39:19

with fan violence and they are not

39:21

addressing it those guys Um Was it

39:24

was in an Eagles game recently the

39:26

guy screaming at the lady calling? No,

39:28

the Eagles are notoriously the worst, but

39:31

like that is not fair because every

39:33

single NFL city deals with this. Yeah,

39:35

and the NFL is all about all

39:38

player safety player safety. Well, you better

39:40

fucking Worry about the safety of the

39:42

fucking guys who are paying the money

39:44

that, you know, they're really the fucking

39:47

bosses. Without those fans, you ain't got

39:49

shit and you're allowing them to get

39:51

abused because you're not willing to fucking

39:54

bring in more cops and security. Yeah,

39:56

that stomping was pretty bad. That should

39:58

never happen. And now Tom is an

40:01

Eagles fan and that story broke about

40:03

that New Jersey guy, another self-hating New

40:05

Jersey guy from New Brunswick who got

40:07

caught using the C-word. Right. At the

40:10

game. I read a statement by him,

40:12

he said that like, you know, the

40:14

video only shows part of it. Right.

40:17

And that whole bunch of should let

40:19

up. I talked to Tom about it

40:21

because he was... vehemently fucking defending the

40:24

guy. No, no, no, no, you're a

40:26

fucking liar. No, there's always about their

40:28

side to the story, Walt. No, you

40:30

signed stories, the ladies. I don't know

40:33

what I said. I said, he was

40:35

100% wrong. I said, he deserved everything.

40:37

I said, I don't know if he

40:40

deserved to get fired from his job

40:42

for something that happened outside of it.

40:44

That's what I did for a living,

40:47

right? What's that? You see what he

40:49

did for a living? I think it

40:51

was like a PR thing, right? He

40:53

worked for a DUI company. Yeah, yeah,

40:56

like to me, like... He didn't know

40:58

not to call it. Shocking. Yes. Didn't

41:00

defend the man. You were crying. crocodile

41:03

tears for that guy. You can talk

41:05

about that through the text messaging? Right

41:07

here! You're crying in that guy's defense.

41:10

You should have lost his job. He

41:12

should have lost his livelihood over a

41:14

word. That's not what I say. You

41:16

tend to agree with it though, like

41:19

just like it's unbelievable that like these

41:21

war parties that come out like he

41:23

like he gets into a fight with

41:26

this lady. They're yelling back and forth

41:28

and instead of just like letting it

41:30

go, it's like let's hunt him down

41:33

and ruin his entire life and ruin

41:35

his entire life. Because he called a

41:37

lady some name. That seems that doesn't

41:39

I have no sympathy. Really? I am

41:42

no sympathy. Did you act like it?

41:44

Time call the, uh, call a... The

41:46

yarn lady a concert. The yarn lady.

41:49

The police officer. What was it? The

41:51

wasn't she, she was given a, she

41:53

was given tickets. It was something to

41:55

do with like you, you feed in

41:58

the meters. Oh, I remember this color.

42:00

Hurrest though by a fucking I would

42:02

like the you mean like that man

42:05

was being harassed by the Green Bay

42:07

Packer fan? No she wasn't being harassed

42:09

he wasn't she wasn't harassing him what

42:12

harassing him is wearing the other team's

42:14

colors now no no come on bro

42:16

there's more to that story you've got

42:18

a fucking he said it that's some

42:21

That's some bad karma right there. No,

42:23

I agree. No. No, no, no, no.

42:25

No, no. I 100% agree. Yeah, he

42:28

was totally in the wrong with it.

42:30

I just don't know if the crossing

42:32

back the line from. How do you

42:35

face your family after that when you

42:37

go home and go honey? I got

42:39

bad news. Did you see the video?

42:41

I was fired today. That's why. Well.

42:44

There was a Green Bay Packer fan.

42:46

at the game. Can you believe that?

42:48

She was ribbon me! She was wearing

42:51

the other team's jacket. I had to

42:53

call her a gun. What choice did

42:55

I have? It's a moral imperative. But

42:58

you can do that these days. You

43:00

can like cut half the video, like

43:02

you don't know what led up to

43:04

it. And that's, it's true. There could

43:07

be, he could have been incited. But

43:09

I got a feeling. He drops that

43:11

word on more casually. If you're in

43:14

the common man... Yeah, I agree. Yeah,

43:16

that's... If that's in your vocabulary, it's

43:18

in your vocabulary. Agreed. But Q, I

43:21

was really coming here today that you

43:23

were going to pick me up and

43:25

tell me, give me some sort of

43:27

sage-like advice like you always do, like

43:30

how do I get out of this

43:32

funk? Because it's probably never going to

43:34

happen in my lifetime. You're dealing with

43:37

winter, bro. I can barely fucking lift

43:39

my head off the fucking pillow in

43:41

the fucking pillow in the morning to

43:44

start my day. I can't take it

43:46

anymore. So you're telling me I gotta

43:48

wait till the fucking spring? Yeah. I

43:50

got nothing man. I got fucking nothing.

43:53

I got nothing. I can't take it

43:55

anymore. Get a wait until Q-West comes

43:57

back. I'm fucking dying here. You can

44:00

call from Q West. Yeah. I hope

44:02

you're energized and charged. I'll help you

44:04

out with the fucking son, but dude,

44:07

I get some. Bleak man, I... It's

44:09

bleak. I can't take it anymore. Have

44:11

you tried like one of those headbands?

44:13

There's no point in trying. I need

44:16

sun and warmth and the pool. I

44:18

really was like, you know, it'll make

44:20

me better. A little B12. No. I

44:23

got another B. I would suggest maybe

44:25

go watch Austin Powers and... You laugh

44:27

a little bit, but... Should I just

44:30

like root for the winning team? Just

44:32

wait till there's a determined winner of

44:34

the Super Bowl and be like, that's

44:36

my team. I mean, why not? I

44:39

mean, there are no rules. Will it

44:41

make you feel better? If it'll make

44:43

it feel better, I'd say do it.

44:46

But how hollow is that though? But

44:48

none of it matters anyway. Nothing matters.

44:50

We're all going to be dead and

44:53

that's the end of that. I mean,

44:55

enjoy life. That's a cue I like

44:57

to hear. It's like, literally, none of

44:59

it matters. Nothing could matter less than

45:02

sports outcomes, Walt. So, you know, just,

45:04

you know, just, you know, who's just

45:06

fucking... How much you expected? No, I

45:09

was really hope getting myself psyched up

45:11

for a real pick me up. I

45:13

have nothing. It's fucking 4.30 and it's

45:16

pitch black out. I can't fucking take

45:18

it, man. It's really getting to me.

45:20

Okay. I've lost the ability to like

45:22

make eye contact with people. Price picks.

45:25

Right? That's right. Yep. Yeah. It's fucking

45:27

sad. It's playoff time and it's now

45:29

we're never... It's out on the leathery

45:32

assholes on a turtle. It's great this

45:34

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46:27

game. One more but

46:29

we'll wait for that one. If

46:31

you please. All right, number two.

46:33

This is a more recent one.

46:35

We're not going to feudal Japan

46:37

with this one. Have you heard

46:40

of the giant of Kandahar? So

46:42

in 2002 a group of army

46:44

rangers were supposed to clear out

46:46

a cave when you're like, hey,

46:48

could you use this for overkill?

46:50

And then you throw you into

46:52

a bison. I'm like, yeah, that's

46:54

a good idea. Let me use

46:57

it. Okay, I'm sorry. You're right.

46:59

You're right. That's pissy because of

47:01

my lines. So in 2002, a

47:03

group of army rangers were supposed

47:05

to clear out a cave when

47:07

a 15 foot tall, six-fingered... Red-haired

47:09

Giant impaled one of their comrades.

47:11

It took 30 seconds of sustained

47:14

shooting to take it down. Nice.

47:16

And supposedly, it is, they thought

47:18

it might be a Niflum. Do

47:20

you know what a Niflum is,

47:22

though? Yes, an angel. Close. Well,

47:24

if, um, it's got no sexual

47:26

organs. Because I read a book

47:28

about Nifurums. Oh, I don't think

47:31

that's the case. You wrote a

47:33

whole book about it? You wrote

47:35

a whole book about it? Yeah.

47:37

How many chapters with the poets

47:39

in the Chinatown? How many pages

47:41

and shit, bro? The whole thing

47:43

was illustrated. I don't read real

47:45

books. I got time for that

47:48

shit. Gotta worry about the lines.

47:50

They shot this thing? Yes. Where's

47:52

its bones? So supposedly they reported

47:54

it to their person in charge

47:56

and they took the bones out

47:58

and we don't know what happened

48:00

to them afterwards. Okay. So they

48:02

think it might have been the

48:05

last nephylum which is a the

48:07

offspring of an angel male angel

48:09

and a woman. So the regular

48:11

old woman? Yes. Yes, I am

48:13

very impressed by that. Thank you.

48:15

I don't know about the section.

48:17

But angels don't have any genitalia,

48:19

you're saying? No, angels do. He

48:22

claims that Niffelhams don't. No, they

48:24

don't have. What's the difference between

48:26

an angel and a minimum? They're

48:28

the offspring. They're like, they're like,

48:30

they're like, they're like, they're like,

48:32

they're like, they're like, they're like,

48:34

they're like, they're like, they're like,

48:36

they're like, they're like, they're like,

48:38

they're like, they're like, Cosmic. Okay.

48:41

Cosmic ways. It's not done like,

48:43

like, like, grunting, like, too fucking...

48:45

The fun ones and shit. A

48:47

sober guy comes in on a

48:49

surfboard. Yeah. All right. Okay. All

48:51

right. All right. I can get

48:53

behind this. So there could be

48:55

more. created. There may not be

48:58

none now, but an angel may

49:00

come down and bang some girl

49:02

and then we got another one

49:04

of these. Potentially, yes. Because Afghanistan...

49:06

Can we get an American one?

49:08

I would like an American giant

49:10

of Kandar. It's hard to say

49:12

because Afghanistan is one of the

49:15

earliest civilizations ever and that they

49:17

assumed that at some point if

49:19

angels came down, then we have

49:21

a giant of Staten Island. Yeah,

49:23

they could. I don't know. I

49:25

think the angels made the right

49:27

choice saying that. It's not going

49:29

to Afghanistan. You think nobody found

49:32

out about it? You know, it's

49:34

that not only. You can be

49:36

able to keep that secret. Six

49:38

percent of standard. Well in this

49:40

park, parkland, you know, there's a

49:42

lot of giant. Any caves? Sure,

49:44

yeah, there's caves, there's hills, there's...

49:46

Now the giant was dead when

49:49

they found it? No, no, no,

49:51

no. It attacked them. They were

49:53

supposed to clear out a cave

49:55

and immediately... They were supposed to

49:57

clear out a cave? They were

49:59

supposed to clear out a cave?

50:01

You're lying, you don't even know.

50:03

I mean, I don't know the

50:06

exact mission, I assume. Look up

50:08

again. I was seeing Indiana Jones

50:10

in the Great Circle. I think

50:12

I just tussled with these motherfudders.

50:14

With a Kandaharian giant? Tony Todd

50:16

played him was like the last

50:18

thing he did before he died.

50:20

Maybe. Now why would that be

50:23

kept the secret you think from

50:25

the public? Are we ready for

50:27

that? If you had definitive proof.

50:29

I was ready for a new

50:31

bowl when he burst onto the

50:33

scene in the 80s and played

50:35

for the Washington bullets and I

50:37

didn't fucking lose my shit and

50:40

fucking, you know. Think that the

50:42

world was going to end because

50:44

there was an eight-foot tall man.

50:46

Yes, but there's only seven fingers

50:48

that he had though. Yes, five

50:50

You're correct. You're looking at six

50:52

fingers going to be the difference

50:54

might be I think there's a

50:57

lot of kids who are born

50:59

with six fingers if you really

51:01

if you Are they 16? They

51:03

get them amputated. Yeah, really? Yeah,

51:05

why would they get that ambitated?

51:07

That sounds a non working finger.

51:09

Oh, it's like just vest vest

51:11

as you like a little they

51:14

call them. When I call them.

51:16

When I call them like call

51:18

them. When I when I when

51:20

I when I when I when

51:22

I was young. When I was

51:24

young. When I was young. And

51:26

she'll remember one time she brought

51:28

home a test tube with fluid

51:30

in it and there was a

51:33

little finger in it. That's got

51:35

to be fucking out. Oh, that's

51:37

a good 100%! I don't think

51:39

it can get her now. It

51:41

was pretty cool. Was there a

51:43

fight over it you think at

51:45

the hospital? Wow. It was a

51:47

little tested with a little blue

51:50

cap on it and like you

51:52

could just see the little tiny

51:54

finger float around it. How old

51:56

is it? Oh, probably like 8th

51:58

grade. Pretty young. Metal. Yeah, that's

52:00

not that young and you were and

52:03

you were like Mom You could lose

52:05

your job over this. What are

52:07

you doing? No, I was like, that's

52:09

awesome No, it didn't occur. Those things

52:11

don't occur to me. I don't know

52:13

if you will fight 70s This would

52:16

have been a this would have been

52:18

a this would have been a really

52:20

occur to you though, but she's gonna

52:22

lose her job Yeah, I don't know

52:24

you as an adult you think that

52:27

like when you were a kid man

52:29

I remember, you left your balls

52:31

off and I farted one time. Oh!

52:33

That's right, I'm here to say it.

52:35

If my mom bought home a severed

52:37

finger, it was like praying it

52:39

around, showing everybody. I'd be like, that

52:41

is really weird, mom. No, she only

52:43

gave it to me. She didn't pray

52:46

to her, she didn't show the other

52:48

kids. No? No, only to me. Do you

52:50

think she still remembers? Like if

52:52

you called her up right now? Like

52:54

if you called her up right now.

52:56

She might. Did any other body parts?

52:59

Yeah, I was gonna say. No, unfortunately

53:01

not. Just a little finger. Did you

53:03

guys keep it or what? I don't

53:05

know what happened to him. No, it

53:07

was in my, it was in my

53:09

room for a long time and then

53:11

like I moved and I probably just

53:13

got lost in the shuffle somewhere. Some

53:15

little kid's finger. Could I have found

53:17

that she used it as like Edgar

53:19

and her using in the bedroom as

53:21

a toy, would that really fuck your

53:23

world up? Probably. How tight are you?

53:26

No, she used it on anger.

53:28

There you go. A little light.

53:30

She's like, I'm going to suck

53:32

the soul right out of your

53:34

ass. Oh my God. Jesus. So

53:36

do you think the world is

53:38

ready for... Yes, I do. Angels

53:40

are real. No, well... And they

53:42

can have children. That's a theory

53:44

that that's a nephrum. But why

53:46

couldn't we just say, hey, we

53:48

found a 15-foot tall man? Because

53:50

we've never found one before.

53:53

Right, but we've come close.

53:55

How close? Municipal? That's

53:57

half to no, the tallest man

53:59

in... that ever lived is not

54:01

that far off from fucking 15.

54:03

Oh, I disagree. Yeah, get him,

54:06

pull it up. Let's get that

54:08

one. Like Robert Wadlow or something.

54:10

That poor guy. That's 8 foot

54:12

11 inches. That's nowhere. It's only

54:14

half. Okay, now take the tallest

54:17

man on earth, double him, give

54:19

him to an extra finger. You

54:21

know, and have him coming out.

54:23

of a cake. Robert Waldo could,

54:25

didn't he could barely walk and

54:28

shit like that, but an angel

54:30

offspring has got to be like

54:32

strong and ready to go. It's

54:34

stabbed, it's just an army ranger

54:36

though. But this might just be

54:39

a mutant dude who had a

54:41

pituitary gland. You know, a tumor.

54:43

What year was it? 2002. Oh,

54:45

so it's not like a really

54:47

long time. No. This was probably

54:49

some fucking. A radial couple had

54:52

this freakish. throw in a cave

54:54

and just like discarded it. So

54:56

you're saying you don't believe in

54:58

this? I believe it's possible that

55:00

there's a 15 foot tall man.

55:03

I don't believe it's from an

55:05

angels like having sex with a

55:07

human. Because you don't believe in

55:09

angels. No, absolutely. An angels will

55:11

watch over us. So then why

55:14

can't you don't say they get

55:16

like like they don't have lusts

55:18

in their heart. No angels? The

55:20

fallen ones. Well, they're in hell.

55:22

Yeah, they're in hell though. No,

55:25

that's not an angel. So there's

55:27

no pussy in heaven. No pussy

55:29

in heaven, you're saying. I believe

55:31

her, but beyond that, just like

55:33

there's no farchokes in heaven, I

55:35

don't believe anybody's getting busy. Oh,

55:38

it's like a trend sends them?

55:40

Oh, okay. All right. So what

55:42

the fuck's something else up there?

55:44

Listen into music and shit. Well,

55:46

what's the point of listening to

55:49

listening to music, if it ain't

55:51

gonna fuck, look at waterfalls. Look

55:53

at waterfalls. I can't even turn

55:55

on the radio without one bank.

55:57

Getting a chubby. Yeah. Like, so

56:00

you're telling me, Tom, it's confirmed

56:02

that there's a 15-foot tall man.

56:04

Your, your, what is shaking in

56:06

your world that you're like, well,

56:08

that, well, game. over bro. Really?

56:11

We've never heard one. If we

56:13

see a man double the largest

56:15

man on earth and he has

56:17

six fingers and he comes out

56:19

of a cave. But if that's

56:21

six finger may not work. If

56:24

he's hanging off this side. If

56:26

he grabbed a spear and stabbed

56:28

an army ranger guy with it

56:30

I'm assuming all six work. Stabed

56:32

them and then took 30 seconds

56:35

of sustained shooting to kill him.

56:37

I'm going to assume that's the

56:39

offspring of an angel. Really good

56:41

shots. Yes, they were good shots.

56:43

Well, I don't know. Again, we're

56:46

in overkill territory, so... Yeah, but

56:48

all on stories, no bullshit. Like,

56:50

would you really be shaken to

56:52

the core if you found out

56:54

there was a 15-foot tall person?

56:57

Yes, why would you not be?

56:59

It's just, it's just a freaking-foot

57:01

tall person? Yes, why would you

57:03

not be? It's just, it's just

57:05

a freaking-foot tall person? No. No,

57:07

great point get him great point

57:10

because I can take him that's

57:12

correct. Yeah, I'm not shaking to

57:14

the core by it You look

57:16

at this guy. There's a six

57:18

inch man. Can you zoom in

57:21

a bit? Can you get him

57:23

out? That's shaking me to the

57:25

core a six inch man. Why?

57:27

Well because weren't you shaking to

57:29

the core by one of those

57:32

little? The little dolls that were

57:34

like six inches big the Zulia

57:36

things The fetishist? Yeah, I was

57:38

also seven years old now. Oh,

57:40

so it wouldn't freak you now!

57:43

If you saw Zooli come to

57:45

life in your house. I believe

57:47

there are men who are shorter

57:49

than a foot. I don't even

57:51

know what answer is. There's a

57:53

woman like now. There's definitely a

57:56

woman. I've seen her. Oh, that

57:58

little girl who hangs out with

58:00

a real tall lady? Yeah. Yeah.

58:02

Yeah, I think she's like two

58:04

or three feet tall. Oh, this

58:07

poor kid. Two foot? Mm-hmm. Yeah,

58:09

give her take a couple feet.

58:11

Oh my God, that's... Yeah, so

58:13

double that, that's not shaken? Brian,

58:15

is that shaken you to your

58:18

core? That she's two feet tall?

58:20

No, that the 16th... tall. I

58:22

would be surprised yeah sure. Are

58:24

you gonna reassess things in your

58:26

life possibly something that big that

58:29

you have no idea ever existed?

58:31

Oh fucking way. It's a reassessing

58:33

shit. It's pretty striking. You know

58:35

when it takes me to reassess?

58:37

I mean it would I could

58:39

I think that a lot of

58:42

people would freak out. I think

58:44

you would get people who believe

58:46

that like you that it was

58:48

spawned from an angel. Yeah I

58:50

think that there would be some...

58:53

I think that would start a

58:55

lot of problems. I do. Really?

58:57

I do. If people were like,

58:59

well, fucking angels are real, which

59:01

means my religion's right, which means

59:04

we're going to war. I think

59:06

that's generally how these things go.

59:08

But would you be afraid? If

59:10

the, let's say the, let's say

59:12

the 15-foot tall man, then it

59:15

turned out they did an autopsy.

59:17

He's like, oh, fuck, he's got

59:19

one of those fucking tumors in

59:21

his head that causes, like jaws,

59:23

James, James Keal. Sure. And it

59:25

was just a tumor that was

59:28

not addressed. Then you were like,

59:30

oh shit, maybe. I wouldn't have

59:32

went to war. I wouldn't, I

59:34

wouldn't freak out. I wouldn't want

59:36

to fight that guy. But I

59:39

would assume with you that. Young

59:41

Hugh would. Young Hugh would also

59:43

kick his ass. That's the difference.

59:45

That's the bugging difference. Everybody, like,

59:47

they're all standing around this giant,

59:50

like, all smiling as if he's

59:52

not a threat. Is he tied

59:54

up? Is that what's in his

59:56

hands? It's an AI image. Yeah.

59:58

That's not real? Yeah, that was

1:00:01

something like, 23. Who are the

1:00:03

people? Does it just people? Yeah,

1:00:05

just names. I hate AI. It

1:00:07

makes me believe in giants. You

1:00:09

were the one, you were, were

1:00:12

you the tallest guy in, in

1:00:14

high school? Or was it Mark

1:00:16

London? Mark London, yeah, Mark London

1:00:18

was like 66. Yeah. His brother

1:00:20

was even a tall man. Six

1:00:22

seven. Yeah, nobody was fucking losing

1:00:25

her shit. No, nobody was like,

1:00:27

no worth London. For like, you

1:00:29

know, six, seven inches taller than

1:00:31

everyone else. Not, not almost tripp.

1:00:33

that. And six fingers. And six

1:00:36

fingers. And come and advocate. And

1:00:38

he's violent. Can he to heart

1:00:40

join? Yes, he attacked immediately. Mm-hmm.

1:00:42

But I mean that could be

1:00:44

his home so it could have

1:00:47

been self-defense. Like how do you

1:00:49

know they didn't throw a flashbang

1:00:51

down there and piss them off?

1:00:53

Yeah. Might have it justified? If

1:00:55

somebody came into my house and

1:00:58

just started shooting out there. Through

1:01:00

a flashback. How much credence do

1:01:02

you actually give this story? I

1:01:04

own honesty. Why? Because you don't

1:01:06

believe it's possible for a human

1:01:08

being to reach those heights? I

1:01:11

don't think it's possible for a

1:01:13

human being to reach those heights

1:01:15

now. And I don't believe that.

1:01:17

An angel behind a woman. No,

1:01:19

I don't believe that. But I

1:01:22

do believe that, like, like these

1:01:24

freakish and abnormally happened on a

1:01:26

regular basis. I don't see why

1:01:28

it's not impossible to believe a

1:01:30

guy could get to... That height

1:01:33

I don't think he's coming out

1:01:35

of that cave doing anything other

1:01:37

than just crawling out because he

1:01:39

probably can't even move properly like

1:01:41

all his joints would be Compromise

1:01:44

not if he's half angel well

1:01:46

if he's half angel. Yeah, but

1:01:48

if he's just a regular giant

1:01:50

like just think about how his

1:01:52

heart has to pump blood to

1:01:54

everything like a giraffe giant So

1:01:57

no credence to it I I

1:01:59

put this in the realm of

1:02:01

probably not true. Yeah. Wanted to

1:02:03

be true. I wish we lived

1:02:05

in a world where I live.

1:02:08

But I mean, we have seen

1:02:10

really tall people though. Yeah, half

1:02:12

that size. Yeah, that's a big

1:02:14

difference. And they're miserable. Yeah, definitely.

1:02:16

They're always miserable. Especially with the

1:02:19

NBA or something. Yeah. They're under

1:02:21

no fucking thoughts that like their

1:02:23

fucking angel spawned. No. There are

1:02:25

no illusions that their existence is

1:02:27

blessed. Which one do your thing?

1:02:30

Yeah, you got three stories? Yes,

1:02:32

I got one. Okay, so I'll

1:02:34

just read this real fast. You

1:02:36

know who's back? Who's back? Mondays.

1:02:38

Mondays. Oh yeah. Mondays back for

1:02:40

2025. At some point in our

1:02:43

illustrious love lives, we've always our

1:02:45

partner, the same age-old question that

1:02:47

guys have probably been asking for

1:02:49

thousands of years. Am I big?

1:02:51

Then the lady lies to them.

1:02:54

Is this really the copy? Yep.

1:02:56

Well, Mondays doesn't know the actual

1:02:58

answer to that, or if your

1:03:00

partner gave you the actual truth.

1:03:02

Yeah, see, that's what I mean.

1:03:05

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1:03:16

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1:03:18

know. Well, you got to start

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turning lights out. But the bag

1:03:22

up. And then pull up, pull

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them like a boy's don't cry

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like how she used a dildo

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instead of snuck it in there.

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Are there people who really are

1:03:42

like swayed by that copy? Like

1:03:44

oh man, I'm really self-conscious about

1:03:46

my size, my girth. I gotta

1:03:48

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1:03:51

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sweater. When you got that vasectomy

1:04:37

that having unforeseen effects on things

1:04:39

you didn't like, oh wow, I

1:04:41

didn't expect that. I shrunk. No.

1:04:43

No, no, no, no, unforeseen. You

1:04:45

didn't have to, I didn't have

1:04:48

to wear special underwear for like

1:04:50

a week. Wow, like magic underwear

1:04:52

like Mormons? Because I had to

1:04:54

like copy it better. Like, because

1:04:56

like there's like a couple of

1:04:58

steps. You could have used the

1:05:01

ballcaddy. I could have used the

1:05:03

ballcaddy. I could have used the

1:05:05

ballcadies only, but I had to

1:05:07

buy different, so I wish my

1:05:09

undies would have sent me the

1:05:12

ballcad. Were they fashionable at least?

1:05:14

What or would they look like

1:05:16

medical? No, no, no, they were

1:05:18

like They were like boxer briefs.

1:05:20

So they were okay. They weren't

1:05:23

like the women the ones like

1:05:25

if you're at the office and

1:05:27

you bent over to pick up

1:05:29

a box of Files and so

1:05:31

much so you You see? It

1:05:34

was just because of all the

1:05:36

work you put in before that

1:05:38

though. But you're bedded over and

1:05:40

someone sees your medical underwear. Would

1:05:42

you, would they know like, oh

1:05:44

my God, Tom, the boss is

1:05:47

wearing... You couldn't sit at your

1:05:49

on your ass like you normally

1:05:51

do? I was home the whole

1:05:53

time, so I didn't have to

1:05:55

worry about that. Okay. Oh, you

1:05:58

didn't go into work? No, I

1:06:00

was home for a couple days

1:06:02

after that. Yeah, you can't really

1:06:04

walk. Like, I used your balls,

1:06:06

right? Yeah. You couldn't sit at,

1:06:09

you couldn't sit at your, on

1:06:11

your ass like you normally do

1:06:13

at work and just fucking. Really?

1:06:15

Of course, all right, you need

1:06:17

that fucking, you need that comp,

1:06:20

right? I had to, I had

1:06:22

to limit my walk. You need

1:06:24

that comp that I gotta pay

1:06:26

for it. This man, I believe,

1:06:28

this man has been bragging, apparently

1:06:30

they got him a new mini

1:06:33

fridge for his office. Oh my

1:06:35

god. And how he completely stocks

1:06:37

it himself and bragging. Watch and

1:06:39

watch. What do you think I

1:06:41

was on disability for? I took,

1:06:44

I had only a Thursday, I

1:06:46

took Thursday Friday off of my

1:06:48

own time. But yes, I do

1:06:50

wish me Andy, I would have

1:06:52

sent me a day. But yes,

1:06:55

I do wish me Andy would

1:06:57

have sent me a ball carrier,

1:06:59

would have kept him in. You

1:07:01

got paid for that, huh? Just

1:07:03

I got paid for it. Took

1:07:06

my time. It's like you had

1:07:08

time internally. I did take paternity

1:07:10

leave when I had my second

1:07:12

case. Or she did. Yeah. Yeah.

1:07:14

Or wrong. Get it all you

1:07:17

can get. Six or seven weeks.

1:07:19

Wow. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What

1:07:21

was that back to work the

1:07:23

same day as wife? Yeah. Yep.

1:07:25

This gave birth that morning as

1:07:27

fucking back at the stash, fucking

1:07:30

bagging up comics. Yeah, I wouldn't

1:07:32

wear to my house. He doesn't

1:07:34

suck up anybody's tax revenue. I

1:07:36

didn't take no time off. An

1:07:38

honest day's work was put in

1:07:41

my ass. The good news is

1:07:43

that work ethic and dedication really

1:07:45

paid off for you Walter. You

1:07:47

know, I thought I still can

1:07:49

look myself in the mirror and

1:07:52

be like, I didn't take no

1:07:54

time off. Yeah. You know, an

1:07:56

honest day's work was put in,

1:07:58

even with maternity leave. No paternity

1:08:00

leave back then if you imagine

1:08:03

no fucking way and fucking rip

1:08:05

that fucking charity check up I

1:08:07

mean sick days you get. What's

1:08:09

that? How many sick days you

1:08:11

get? A lot. How many? I

1:08:13

don't know, like 25? Mother. Holy

1:08:16

shit. That's insane. Really? Yeah, 25

1:08:18

a year? Yeah. That's, that's assuming

1:08:20

somebody's gonna be really sick. Yeah,

1:08:22

that's like two days a month.

1:08:24

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. All right. I

1:08:27

love them. They're responsibly sourced. They

1:08:29

use sustainably sourced materials and work

1:08:31

with partners that care for the

1:08:33

workers. Must be nice. Problem-free philosophy.

1:08:35

I was fucking sick. I'm still

1:08:38

fucking watching videos clearing them for

1:08:40

patron. Fucking design and fucking merchandise

1:08:42

on my fucking cloth on my

1:08:44

lungs out. Flugging snow globes. Fuck

1:08:46

yeah! Moving shit. In the garage...

1:08:49

Two of the Christmas episode with

1:08:51

a catheter on! Yeah! Yeah! You're

1:08:53

just, you're trying to pull straight

1:08:55

as arguing it again! Like put

1:08:57

two fucking catheters in! It's excellent

1:08:59

episode! Christmas episode! Didn't you do

1:09:02

pin pod with the catheter? Yeah!

1:09:04

And I still beat all your

1:09:06

aunts! the

1:09:09

inauguration. You all worked with

1:09:11

him. I'm the Lions, bro.

1:09:13

Oh, this is the Lions.

1:09:15

Yeah. You've got to take

1:09:17

it out to somebody. Could

1:09:19

we come with some kind

1:09:22

of advice? You would have

1:09:24

calmed him down. I'm learning

1:09:26

right now. Not happy with

1:09:28

your first pair of Andes,

1:09:30

it's on meandes.com, so this

1:09:32

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1:09:35

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1:09:37

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1:09:39

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1:09:41

Myundi is comfort from the

1:09:43

outside in. All right. Was

1:09:46

a little diversion from beyond

1:09:48

these. A little bit. Yeah,

1:09:50

a little bit. You're feeling

1:09:52

guilt like you're fucking, you're

1:09:54

fucking taking fucking money for

1:09:56

just sitting on your ass

1:09:59

doing nothing. What? No. The company's

1:10:01

offering. Why would he not, why

1:10:03

would he not take it? And

1:10:05

I took the time, if we're

1:10:07

talking about the paternity, I took

1:10:09

to take my child, my wife

1:10:12

who had surgery, her like organs

1:10:14

moved off the table to help,

1:10:16

you know, care for my newborn

1:10:18

child. You didn't work at home?

1:10:20

I know, you like, you just

1:10:22

couldn't do your work at home?

1:10:24

No, no, of course no. Couldn't

1:10:27

find a time, right? I was

1:10:29

too busy watching YouTube. Tic-toc. He's

1:10:31

on Tik-toc. Yeah. Honey, you

1:10:33

see this brand new recipe?

1:10:36

No one's working here. I

1:10:38

don't know what you're angry

1:10:41

about. Like, what are you

1:10:43

verses right now? Like, everything.

1:10:46

Return? He was talking shit

1:10:48

for the episode started. Oh,

1:10:50

okay. He got me all

1:10:53

riled up defending that eagle

1:10:55

span. Yeah. So I'm stuck.

1:10:58

I'm annoyed. That is fucking

1:11:00

crazy for you to defend that

1:11:02

guy. I did not defend him

1:11:05

at all. I did not defend

1:11:07

him at all. I said 100%

1:11:10

wrong. Okay. Well, your third overkill

1:11:12

story? Would you like to hear

1:11:14

the connection between the owner of

1:11:17

the Kansas City Chiefs? Hunt,

1:11:19

right? Yes. Not Hunt. No,

1:11:21

not. You're a hunt. You're

1:11:23

a hunt. The Hunt family.

1:11:25

The Kansas City Chiefs. A

1:11:27

billion pounds of underground cheese

1:11:29

and the JFK assassination.

1:11:32

This has got to be better

1:11:34

than that fucking candor horror story.

1:11:36

Maybe, I don't know. Don't prep it up

1:11:39

too much. How big is this on the

1:11:41

ground cheese? Over a billion pounds.

1:11:43

Wow. Why do they keep it underground?

1:11:45

So I'm going to get to that.

1:11:48

Okay. All right. So, it turns out

1:11:50

that the owner, well, he's dead now,

1:11:52

but Lamar Hunt, Kansas City

1:11:54

Chiefs, right? For about who

1:11:56

are poised to win a

1:11:58

three-pete. Yes, so So interesting things about

1:12:01

him, we're going to score a

1:12:03

little bit. Did you know that

1:12:05

he wasn't allowed to buy a

1:12:07

team? So he created with a

1:12:09

couple of other owners the AFL.

1:12:12

Of course I know that. And

1:12:14

he coined the term Super Bowl.

1:12:16

Yes, he actually came to it.

1:12:18

Why was he not allowed to

1:12:20

buy a team? They didn't want

1:12:23

to sell. PnF. Pn. F. What

1:12:25

wasn't interested in expanding? Back in

1:12:27

the early 60s. So he decided

1:12:29

he's going to make an alternate

1:12:31

league. Battle each other in a

1:12:33

Super Bowl. So he came up

1:12:36

with that term What he's also

1:12:38

known for in the 60s he

1:12:40

just kicked on yes That's the

1:12:42

heat He's got carte blanche to

1:12:44

go do whatever needs to be

1:12:46

done to get it done. Get

1:12:49

another office. Yeah, go ahead. There

1:12:51

you go. I'm working on this

1:12:53

issue right now. So far, it's

1:12:55

going to involve smart thermostats in

1:12:57

a back door. You know, we

1:12:59

don't have to leave Airport Plaza

1:13:02

again. We can find another office

1:13:04

here with a window and stay

1:13:06

in Airport Plaza. I don't think

1:13:08

there's any offices with Windows. I

1:13:10

don't think so either. I've been

1:13:13

all around here. Yeah, I don't

1:13:15

think there are. There might be,

1:13:17

but I really don't think there

1:13:19

are any. What about the computer

1:13:21

guy that left? The computer guy

1:13:23

that left? I mean, we all

1:13:26

literally not, but Windows would be

1:13:28

happier. Look at the sun, maybe?

1:13:30

All right. There's no sun. So

1:13:32

what he's also known for is

1:13:34

that years in the 1960. in

1:13:36

limestone caves in Missouri what's called

1:13:39

subtropolis and subtropolis is and this

1:13:41

is all true and this is

1:13:43

a hundred percent true confirmed called

1:13:45

subtropolis uh... parts that are owned

1:13:47

by, at least out for Pillsbury,

1:13:49

Ford, and the United States government.

1:13:52

So the United States government, yes,

1:13:54

there's picture of one of the

1:13:56

interests. It's miles and miles. It

1:13:58

looks like a Plan of the

1:14:00

Eight. You gotta say more games.

1:14:03

It looks like a bunker, yeah,

1:14:05

that like the, the president will

1:14:07

go to if the nukes are

1:14:09

about to fucking go off. Interesting.

1:14:11

So we're going to tie up

1:14:13

a couple of things with it.

1:14:16

One of the things is that

1:14:18

the government leases several buildings in

1:14:20

it. One of them was used

1:14:22

in the 60s to store cheese.

1:14:24

During the 60s and 70s and

1:14:26

80s, the price of milk fluctuated

1:14:29

up and down due to demand,

1:14:31

and they needed to stabilize it.

1:14:33

So the government said, we will

1:14:35

buy whatever you can't sell, which

1:14:37

made the farmers greedy. and then

1:14:39

they started mass producing as much

1:14:42

milk as they can knowing if

1:14:44

they couldn't sell it the government

1:14:46

would step in like a guy

1:14:48

who needs doesn't need time at

1:14:50

work that's correct so because of

1:14:53

that but takes it anyway so

1:14:55

because of that I'm entitled he

1:14:57

the government had all this milk

1:14:59

so they turned it into cheese

1:15:01

but very quickly they realized the

1:15:03

cheese was going bad Hence they

1:15:06

started giving it away to people

1:15:08

as government cheese. So at one

1:15:10

point they had billions and billions

1:15:12

and millions of pounds of cheese

1:15:14

that they started giving away to

1:15:16

people as government cheese. And this

1:15:19

kept going and stabilizing and everything

1:15:21

else. After a while eventually most

1:15:23

of it did disappear, but for

1:15:25

decades there was just... What do

1:15:27

you mean disappear like those giving

1:15:29

away or they had to throw

1:15:32

away because it went bad? A

1:15:34

lot of it stabilized. So we

1:15:36

still have some storage like during

1:15:38

COVID. They store a certain amount

1:15:40

of food in these limestone caves

1:15:43

because the temperature doesn't change. It

1:15:45

really stays between 60 and 70,

1:15:47

low humidity. So it's perfect for

1:15:49

storing. She got an office there.

1:15:51

Yeah. No windows. You're underground. So.

1:15:53

It's a perfect place to store

1:15:56

things and the government has several

1:15:58

buildings. They claim that they store

1:16:00

stamps there. They store just paperwork.

1:16:02

Tamps. Tamps. Yes. Why stamps? Because

1:16:04

of the humidity. They don't want

1:16:06

the stamps. If the humidity, if

1:16:09

the humidity rises too high, the

1:16:11

stamps. Are the stamps valuable or

1:16:13

are they just stamps you put

1:16:15

on a letter? Like stamps you

1:16:17

put on a letter prior to

1:16:19

them. They're fucking worthless? Well, they

1:16:22

haven't been used yet. They're stamps

1:16:24

that will go into production. Okay.

1:16:26

And there's cars down there? Can

1:16:28

I ask a question about the

1:16:30

cheese though? Yes. The cheese that's

1:16:33

still there? Yes. Is it almost

1:16:35

a 100 year old cheese? Well,

1:16:37

it's, um, no. Some of it

1:16:39

does get used for aging purposes.

1:16:41

So yes, a lot of the

1:16:43

cheeses is there for that's... Like,

1:16:46

it would have been from the

1:16:48

60s it was sitting in here?

1:16:50

Some of it does, some brands

1:16:52

do. Yes, some of it does.

1:16:54

Not every brand of cheese does,

1:16:56

but there are lots of areas

1:16:59

where the government just owns it

1:17:01

that we don't know what they

1:17:03

do. So, let's back up a

1:17:05

little to Lamar Hunt's father, E.O.

1:17:07

Hunt, who was the inspiration for

1:17:09

J.R. Ewing's character in Dallas. He

1:17:12

was a multi-million dollar oil magnate

1:17:14

who had very, very, very conservative.

1:17:16

and anti- Kennedy views. And in

1:17:18

fact, it said that the day

1:17:20

before Kennedy was assassinated, Linden B.

1:17:23

Johnson, E.L. Hunt, and several other

1:17:25

millionaires had a meeting, and in

1:17:27

that meeting, right after it, Linden

1:17:29

B. Johnson's supposed mistress, on her

1:17:31

deathbed, confessed that at that meeting,

1:17:33

she was told... that Lindbe Johnson

1:17:36

said, after tomorrow, that bastard Kennedy

1:17:38

won't be a problem. That's not

1:17:40

a threat. That's a promise. The

1:17:42

next day, dead. Two days later,

1:17:44

Jack Ruby, who Jack Ruby know

1:17:46

for? He was a nightclub owner

1:17:49

who shot Oswald. Yes. Right before

1:17:51

he did that, the day before,

1:17:53

he was seen at E.L. Hunt's

1:17:55

business. He was eating a cheeseburger.

1:17:57

He was claimed that he was

1:17:59

dropping off someone for a job

1:18:02

interview. But then the next day,

1:18:04

Jack Ruby kills Lee Harvey Oswald.

1:18:06

Tie that all together. Kennedy gets

1:18:08

assassinated. Subtropolis opens. There are lots

1:18:10

of areas down there that the

1:18:13

government owns and leases that nobody

1:18:15

knows. Could they have an alien?

1:18:17

It opens. It's open to the

1:18:19

public? You can go to certain

1:18:21

areas of it. It is not

1:18:23

completely closed, but it is miles.

1:18:26

Why is it? Why have I

1:18:28

never heard of it if it's

1:18:30

like the tourism? I don't think

1:18:32

it's a tourism. It's more of

1:18:34

a business. Frank's five. Frank's, yeah.

1:18:36

I don't get them. I don't

1:18:39

know if you can look to

1:18:41

see if you could take a

1:18:43

tour of parts of subtropolis, but

1:18:45

it's not like completely like people

1:18:47

can go there. But not to

1:18:49

every area. So perfect conditions, 67

1:18:52

degrees, no humidity. You can keep

1:18:54

things lasting long time. No spikes

1:18:56

of electricity to keep things cool

1:18:58

because everything's already cool. What do

1:19:00

we got? Biochemicals down there, alien

1:19:02

technology? Nuclear waste? Nuclear waste? Anything

1:19:05

could be down there. I wouldn't

1:19:07

put it... No, maybe not nuclear

1:19:09

waste. Well, that might be stored

1:19:11

down there. Yeah. Well, underground! Well,

1:19:13

I don't think those two things

1:19:16

are connected, but... What do you

1:19:18

guys think? What could be down

1:19:20

there? Miles and Miles of it,

1:19:22

like I said, Ford owns part

1:19:24

of it where they put cars

1:19:26

down there. Uh, there's a Fedex

1:19:29

truck going to it. Uh, Pillsbury

1:19:31

owns it. The government stores large

1:19:33

quantities of food. So when the

1:19:35

meat packing plants couldn't do anything

1:19:37

during COVID, they released parts of

1:19:39

that food into the... There's a

1:19:42

meat reserve? Yes. There's several different

1:19:44

reserves of food. in case of

1:19:46

shutdown like during COVID. I was

1:19:48

gonna say I'm glad they're I'm

1:19:50

glad it's just not cheese because

1:19:52

I don't eat cheese. Yeah I

1:19:55

know you're screwed! That's good cheese

1:19:57

that's what it's supposed to do.

1:19:59

It is? Yeah it's 80 cheese.

1:20:01

It's moldy. Well some cheese gets

1:20:03

moldy and it's good like blue

1:20:06

cheese. It's kind of a monster.

1:20:08

So what do you think what

1:20:10

else is down there? I'm sure

1:20:12

there's... Some very valuable shit down

1:20:14

there, but I don't believe there's

1:20:16

oh, what's that national archives and

1:20:19

records Yeah, they keep like films

1:20:21

and stuff so what happens is

1:20:23

the national archives and records are

1:20:25

The office of Bureau and management.

1:20:27

I believe they keep all their

1:20:29

retiree files down there until they

1:20:32

can process them into the computer

1:20:34

and also most of the immigration

1:20:36

paperwork for the United States is

1:20:38

also down there too because of

1:20:40

the cool temperature they don't have

1:20:42

to worry about the papers disintegrating

1:20:45

or anything else so the government

1:20:47

takes you look subtropolis is a

1:20:49

comfortable 65 to 70 every day

1:20:51

of the year without air conditioner

1:20:53

without anything that was pretty awesome

1:20:56

so it is a perfect area

1:20:58

to do whatever you need for

1:21:00

it but it's not secretive which

1:21:02

makes you yeah no no no

1:21:04

so parts of it are open

1:21:06

but the parts of the government

1:21:09

have are not open and the

1:21:11

government leases large areas of it

1:21:13

It's not open, but it seems

1:21:15

to me like when you get

1:21:17

like an area 51 where like

1:21:19

you step one foot onto their

1:21:22

property and you get shot Yeah,

1:21:24

that seems like shit the government

1:21:26

wants to really keep from people

1:21:28

where it's like if they're just

1:21:30

sort of like neighbors with pillberry

1:21:32

If they're leasing it that means

1:21:35

the owners of subtropolis had the

1:21:37

keys Just like here the late

1:21:39

the rent the that fucking rent

1:21:41

lady comes in here unannounced wouldn't

1:21:43

get him sleeping. It fucking wakes

1:21:46

him up. Right. Yeah. And then...

1:21:48

Wow. Four places, a comfortable 70

1:21:50

to 85 degrees. Oh no, that's

1:21:52

a comfortable 91 to 94 degrees.

1:21:54

But you have to remember, the

1:21:56

government, though, is in cahoots with

1:21:59

Lamar Hunt's dad because... Right around

1:22:01

that time subtropolis Kennedy did he's

1:22:03

and he could be involved with

1:22:05

it. What's your feeling on the

1:22:07

JFK have you settled on a

1:22:09

conspiracy theory yet? I don't really

1:22:12

think I have. What about you?

1:22:14

What do you think the mafia

1:22:16

might be involved? I think there's

1:22:18

a lot of plausible Possibilities to

1:22:20

who could have been bought. I

1:22:22

think he had a lot of

1:22:25

enemies answer he doesn't want to

1:22:27

be he doesn't want to go

1:22:29

on the record. I don't know

1:22:31

enough to be able to say

1:22:33

like government's paying his paycheck. Trump

1:22:36

said he's going to authorize all

1:22:38

those full transparency. Yeah all the

1:22:40

JFK stuff is going to JFK

1:22:42

RFK. I'll believe it when I

1:22:44

see it. Yeah. He said that

1:22:46

last time too. Did he say

1:22:49

it last time? Yep. When

1:22:51

did he say that? I gotta

1:22:53

I gotta fucking open a newspaper

1:22:55

No, you don't know. Don't worry

1:22:57

about it. All right, good enough

1:22:59

So you think would you like

1:23:01

to at least go on a

1:23:03

tour? I would like to visit

1:23:05

subtropolis. Okay. Yeah, I don't know

1:23:07

but does it smell like cheese?

1:23:09

I don't know but does it

1:23:11

smell like cheese? I don't know

1:23:13

but does it smell like limestone?

1:23:16

Probably They got coffee down there.

1:23:18

Yeah I mean I would definitely

1:23:20

like if I was in the

1:23:22

area and I I think I

1:23:24

drove to Missouri a couple times

1:23:26

I would have loved to have

1:23:28

known about subtropos. Looks like pretty

1:23:30

dope man I'd go visit this.

1:23:32

If there's anybody out there related

1:23:34

to some subtropos. I guarantee you

1:23:36

there's somebody listening who knows a

1:23:38

family member who works at subtropos

1:23:40

because there's got to be a

1:23:42

lot of people to make that

1:23:44

wrong. Yeah man somebody's got to

1:23:46

be connected out there. What a

1:23:48

weird thing though for your business

1:23:50

like Pillsbury. It's like, hey, you

1:23:52

want to rent out an underground

1:23:54

cave? It's like, yeah, sure, yes.

1:23:56

It's miles and miles of like

1:23:58

a labyrinth down there. So it's

1:24:00

not like it's like wide open

1:24:02

where you can just like, no,

1:24:04

you could definitely hide aliens. weapons.

1:24:06

No, but that's the best place

1:24:08

to hide it. And what in

1:24:10

plain sight? What's more boring than

1:24:12

hiding immigration papers and stamps. Are

1:24:14

you really going to go look

1:24:17

in there? No, you're going to

1:24:19

be like, oh, there's stamps. You

1:24:21

have to trust that your neighbors

1:24:23

who are the public, Pillsbury and

1:24:25

Ford, or wherever else is running

1:24:27

it, aren't going to like stumble

1:24:29

upon something they shouldn't stumble upon.

1:24:31

Well, what if, what if, what

1:24:33

if it's like a facade? You

1:24:35

go through the front, you look,

1:24:37

and you're like, oh, stamps. We

1:24:39

checked out Ron's fucking records, man.

1:24:41

I don't know how much longer

1:24:43

he says miles are fucking always.

1:24:45

You go through the front, you

1:24:47

look, and you're like, oh, stamps.

1:24:49

Okay, cool. I'm not going to

1:24:51

go any further. You're not going

1:24:53

to go past the stamps. Normal

1:24:55

people. Not us. We're like, oh,

1:24:57

fuck, stamps. I agree with the

1:24:59

guys I think I agree with

1:25:01

the guys I think if if

1:25:03

if you know that's what I

1:25:05

always said about area 51 I

1:25:07

was like it's area 52 you

1:25:09

got to worry about it's like

1:25:11

that's where all the cool shit

1:25:13

is if you know about it

1:25:16

then it's a then it's then

1:25:18

it's then you're falling for it

1:25:20

that's how I feel it's a

1:25:22

shit you'll never know about so

1:25:24

even with the fact that he

1:25:26

may have some this dad may

1:25:28

have had some connection to the

1:25:30

assassination of the president subtropolis opens

1:25:32

The huge underground cave, parts of

1:25:34

its own by the government, nothing

1:25:36

weird going on down there? Well,

1:25:38

it could have just be as

1:25:40

simple as just like, look, if

1:25:42

you wipe out this rabble rousing

1:25:44

Catholic, we'll sign a deal with

1:25:46

you to store our stamps there

1:25:48

and you'll get all that money.

1:25:50

It could have been, you know,

1:25:52

it could be a financial transaction

1:25:54

type thing. the stamps would you

1:25:56

know you're saying stamps that would

1:25:58

just produced. Correct. Yeah. Like stamps

1:26:00

that they're just like wasted stamps

1:26:02

that they found. They may actually

1:26:04

print the stamps there. Or sure.

1:26:06

Yeah, store them. Yeah, not use

1:26:08

stamps they're just collecting and throwing

1:26:10

a pile in a cage. We

1:26:12

gotta get fucking... What's that fucker's

1:26:15

name from Golden Silver? Oh Mark

1:26:17

Mark from Golden Silver to talk

1:26:19

about stamps? Oh, yeah She should

1:26:21

have told me we're gonna talk

1:26:23

about stamps today. I thought we'd

1:26:25

be more interested in the cheese

1:26:27

than the stamps, but I miss

1:26:30

my audience on that one. Sorry

1:26:32

guys, yet again Oh, thank you

1:26:34

Tom the overkill Mystro. Yeah, yeah,

1:26:36

well done good stuff. I never

1:26:38

heard of any of those before

1:26:40

so that's like that is his

1:26:42

job. Yeah, to enlighten us on

1:26:44

things we don't know, shine a

1:26:46

light in corners that are dark.

1:26:48

Darkest corners of humanity. Yeah, we

1:26:50

have a lot of corners

1:26:52

in our life that aren't, that are

1:26:55

dark. Yeah, you don't want a light

1:26:57

showing on them? That's what makes

1:26:59

good podcasting, no. Mm-hmm. Tell

1:27:02

us either, what do I mean?

1:27:04

Zoon, oh yeah. Zoon!