Bans Synthetic Food Dyes + Comedian Adam Yenser + Jordan Harmon

Bans Synthetic Food Dyes + Comedian Adam Yenser + Jordan Harmon

Released Thursday, 24th April 2025
Good episode? Give it some love!
Bans Synthetic Food Dyes + Comedian Adam Yenser + Jordan Harmon

Bans Synthetic Food Dyes + Comedian Adam Yenser + Jordan Harmon

Bans Synthetic Food Dyes + Comedian Adam Yenser + Jordan Harmon

Bans Synthetic Food Dyes + Comedian Adam Yenser + Jordan Harmon

Thursday, 24th April 2025
Good episode? Give it some love!
Rate Episode

Episode Transcript

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From Corolla one studios in

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Glendale, California. This is

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the Adam Corolla show Adam's

2:52

guest today comedian Adam

2:54

Jensen and the president of

2:56

Angel Studios Jordan Harmon

2:58

Plus the news with Jason

3:00

mayhem Miller and now

3:02

a Clean episode from a

3:04

man who never showers

3:07

Adam Corolla Yeah, get it

3:09

on, got to get

3:11

it on, the truth is

3:13

we gotta mandate ya,

3:15

get it on! Adam

3:17

Yenzer back in the studio,

3:19

he has a very funny dry

3:21

bar special himself, just riddled

3:24

with good jokes. He's gonna

3:26

be at the La Jolla

3:28

Comedy Store coming up this weekend

3:30

and he's gonna be there

3:32

with Yaakov Smirnoff, my friend. Yeah,

3:34

he's a great guy. He's

3:36

truly, you know what? When

3:38

they go, he's a lovely guy.

3:40

That's who they're talking about. Absolutely. When

3:42

they say Yakov Smirnoff. A minch. Yes.

3:45

Just a good, good dude. He is. Had

3:47

a chance to catch up with him

3:49

when I was in Florida last and did

3:52

a little interview with him and brought

3:54

him up on stage and that kind of

3:56

stuff. Nice. Good dude. So what do

3:58

you do at the comedy store in La

4:00

Jolla? Do you? Go out is he

4:02

featured to you feature who does I'm featuring

4:04

on these so he's headlining these shows

4:06

I just started working with him about I

4:08

don't know four months ago. He's somebody

4:10

when I grew up watching Johnny Carson I

4:13

loved his old Johnny Carson set and

4:15

he's like a legend in the comedy world

4:17

And he was doing these shows at

4:19

his theater in Branson and now he's going

4:21

back out on the road again So

4:23

yeah, he's headlining I do some time before

4:25

him and he's just been a blast

4:27

to work with We were talking off the

4:29

air and it's a big subject in

4:31

my world. Just

4:34

as fast at him or he lived

4:36

and he said to Luca Lake, but

4:38

he pointed towards Sun Valley. And

4:41

then I stopped and said, you're

4:43

pointing the wrong direction, which I

4:45

do with everybody all the time.

4:48

which I can't tell if it means

4:50

I'm an ass or I care too

4:52

much. Now got a lot of iron

4:54

deposits in your nose. It

4:56

just bothers me,

4:58

but it's also,

5:02

here's my problem. I don't want

5:04

them to carry on. Pointing

5:06

the wrong direction. I'm not always gonna be

5:08

there. I'm like a dad telling his

5:11

son, you know what I mean? I appreciate

5:13

I took the correction I'm good outside

5:15

in LA. I know the directions when I

5:17

get inside. I feel like I get

5:19

turned around I'm just like, oh You must

5:21

play sports as a as a youth.

5:23

Oh not a lot. I was in I

5:25

was in Boy Scouts, but that's what

5:27

it is for a person because because There's

5:30

a new breed of of folk

5:32

who cannot be coached. Yeah It's

5:34

mostly women and young dudes they

5:36

just argue they make excuses like

5:38

you can't coach them and I

5:40

realized They didn't play sports. They

5:42

weren't the military They didn't have

5:45

some guy in a position looking

5:47

down at them telling them they

5:49

were doing it wrong every ten

5:51

minutes Yeah, and so that is

5:53

sort of the new world order,

5:55

but when when people when I

5:57

say something to someone and they

5:59

go, oh, yeah. Right. Thanks. I

6:01

was wrong. Then that means they

6:03

were in the military or they

6:05

wrestled or they played football or

6:07

something. Scouting makes sense. Yeah. Yeah.

6:09

Did you get to a high

6:11

level of scouting? I did. I

6:13

got to Eagle Scout. Oh, but

6:15

clearly. Lots of talk about this.

6:17

I still don't know my direction.

6:21

Well, it's

6:23

a thing and it's a

6:25

thing with me and people.

6:27

Do it all the time.

6:30

They go, oh, I'm

6:32

out in Malibu. And then they point, and

6:34

I go, you're pointing to Pasadena. And

6:36

like, you're Belinda or something. I think we

6:38

can keep going. We can get to

6:40

Vegas the way you're pointing. And

6:42

I guess we'll circle the globe and eventually

6:44

we'll get to Malibu. Technically,

6:46

you might be right, but we'd have

6:49

to circumnavigate the globe to come back

6:51

around to Malibu. But there's a closer

6:53

way. That's only 18 miles if you

6:55

want to point that direction. And then

6:57

everyone's number one answer is either I'm

6:59

wrong or they go, yeah, I don't

7:01

know what direction Malibu is. And then

7:03

I go, don't point. Because

7:06

let's just say you said, let's just

7:08

all ask, don't point. But you just

7:10

tell me you live in Toluca Lake.

7:12

Where you live, Adam? I live in

7:14

Toluca Lake. Liar! See,

7:17

it wouldn't work that way. It wouldn't. I

7:19

would believe you. You pointing makes

7:21

me not believe you. Now I think

7:23

you're a liar because you're pointing to

7:25

Sun Valley. So maybe you don't

7:27

live in Toluca. Just keep your hands in

7:29

your pocket when you say where you live. Or

7:31

pick the right direction. I will pick the

7:33

right direction next time. Or just

7:35

keep the hands in the pocket. Or

7:38

maybe... The way we're going to do

7:40

it next time, Adam, I'll go, where do

7:42

you live? And then I'll go, hold

7:44

on, let's go out in the parking lot.

7:48

And then you can, you can try

7:50

to triangulate. And then as an Eagle

7:52

Scout, I'll look where the sun is

7:54

in the sky. you were going to

7:56

put a stick in the ground and see which way it turns. I

7:59

didn't bring my compass. Eagle

8:02

Scout. Yeah. Feel

8:04

like Eagle Scout used to

8:06

really mean something. It was like

8:08

owning a van. Yeah. Yeah. That

8:11

guy's going place. He's got

8:13

a van. You know, like

8:15

now it's a little bit of a strike

8:17

or your square or something. Like, I don't

8:19

know what it is, but it used to,

8:21

it was a big deal. It was a

8:23

tough thing to do back in the day.

8:25

And it was, I think they've, they've lowered

8:27

the standards and scouting a little bit and

8:29

they did the thing where they kind of

8:31

merged. the Girl Scouts and the Boy Scouts

8:33

into one thing called scouting. So it's I

8:35

don't. Yeah. Don't like it. I don't. I

8:37

don't know. Here's the

8:40

thing. And I've been yelling about this

8:42

in a microphone for a million

8:44

years, which is not everything is progress.

8:46

Like all progress isn't always good.

8:48

Sometimes you go and you make mistakes.

8:50

It's we have this thing, especially

8:53

in California. It's like, what's next? What's

8:55

next? I don't know. Find a

8:57

rear view mirror. Take a look behind

8:59

you. Maybe folks who are older

9:01

than us, maybe other generations had some

9:03

things right. I

9:06

was sitting at a

9:08

Starbucks in La

9:10

Cagnada. I was waiting for

9:12

you. Pointing in the right direction. A

9:15

little more that way. But I was

9:17

sitting at Starbucks in La Cagnada a few

9:19

weeks ago and I saw a, and

9:21

I do want to tell people

9:23

this. People

9:26

do this thing all the time. They

9:28

go though. We're looking for a house.

9:30

We'll know how the school system is.

9:32

We'll know the walking score. There's a

9:34

score for walking, which is weird. But

9:36

there's like it's got a high walking

9:38

score and it's in a good dish.

9:41

I don't know. It means places are

9:43

safe or close or something. You could

9:45

stroll to Starbucks. Yeah, right. I'll tell

9:47

you, all you need to do, all

9:49

you need to do is go to

9:51

the closest Starbucks to your home. And

9:54

then you go in and you do what I

9:56

did at the Lacanada one, which is I went

9:58

in, saw the guy behind the counter, and I

10:00

said, what's the code for the bathroom door? And

10:02

he goes, no code. And I went, that's why

10:04

this is. That's a good neighbor. That's why this

10:06

is Lacanada. You're right.

10:08

Right. Because the code, if

10:10

you ever go to a place

10:12

where they just go, no code for

10:14

the bathroom at the Starbucks, that's

10:16

a. good neighborhood. And you don't need

10:18

to know the schooling or the

10:21

walking. You need anything else. You just

10:23

that's all you need. The Corolla

10:25

Starbucks score. That's all it's all you

10:27

need. It means safe, good, no

10:29

junkies, fentanyl, whatever. It's just that's what

10:31

it means. It means no homeless.

10:33

Yeah. So I'm sitting in

10:35

that Starbucks after destroying the

10:37

bathroom. I tore that. or

10:40

the hinges off that door, man. No,

10:42

I'm after vandalizing the bathroom and they put

10:45

a code in after you used it. They

10:47

were like, all right, we can't let him

10:49

back in here. I

10:52

like he doesn't care code. I'm another

10:54

place used to bathroom in North Hollywood.

10:56

They had the code, but it's they

10:58

don't care code. It's like one, two,

11:00

three, four, five pound. And I like,

11:02

OK, we have a code. Not really. So

11:06

I saw. A

11:08

girl, I don't know, a 12 -year -old girl

11:10

come walking up and she's wearing a Boy

11:12

Scouts uniform. And I'm just like, what?

11:15

And then that got me launched off

11:17

on it. Can we just have the Boy

11:19

Scouts? Can we just have it? Is

11:21

everything got to be something? Is

11:23

it OK? Can we just go, we'll have

11:25

the Boy Scouts. And they have the Girl Scouts

11:27

for Girls and that worked for them and

11:29

Boy Scouts for Boys and you need separate sex

11:32

activities at that time. a gym for girls.

11:34

You know what I mean? And then someone goes,

11:36

why? And then someone goes, who cares? There's

11:38

a gym for girls. That's okay. I don't need

11:40

to infiltrate it. There's other gyms. We don't

11:42

need to go. There could be a gym for

11:44

men. I wouldn't care. It's just, why

11:46

can't we have a Boy Scouts? That's all

11:48

I'm saying. And does everything have to go?

11:51

And is their plan

11:55

To give young girls a chance at scouting

11:57

or is it just I hate my

11:59

dad and I have to destroy everything because

12:01

it's I hate my dad and I

12:03

have to destroy everything and we don't get

12:05

it We sit around and they go Oh,

12:08

well, then what if we had

12:10

another scout? It's like what we don't

12:12

get is these people are angry

12:14

and just want to destroy everything. And

12:16

we keep trying to bargain with

12:18

them because we think there's something they

12:20

want, but they don't want anything.

12:22

They want the opposite of what you

12:24

want, which is everything. And I

12:26

think they also hate that they see

12:28

the Boy Scouts and those, any

12:31

traditional institution, they see it as having

12:33

other traditional values underlying it that

12:35

I think they want to detract from.

12:37

So it's, they see the Boy

12:39

Scouts as though it was often affiliated

12:41

with churches, like you'd meet in

12:43

a church basement. They kind of fostered

12:45

some traditional gender roles and they

12:47

hate all of that stuff now. Yes,

12:49

yes. So what they're, what they

12:51

do now is what I basically learned

12:53

in COVID, but it's, it's like,

12:56

You're like, I don't want to wear

12:58

paper mask alone on a hiking

13:00

trail. And they're like, oh, you're Trump

13:02

voter. Not

13:04

necessarily. I don't

13:06

want to do unuseful things that

13:08

don't make sense. Yeah. Mega

13:10

guy. And now we're

13:12

arguing. And I'm like, look.

13:14

If you told me every time I

13:17

went for a walk, I had to just

13:19

circle the light post three times before

13:21

I could go on. I would not want

13:23

to do that either. But it doesn't

13:25

mean it doesn't make me mega. It just

13:27

makes me against doing stuff that's useless,

13:29

you know. And so everything is

13:31

a signal for something. And and

13:33

and it's a two way street. I

13:35

see someone wearing a mask alone

13:37

in their car. I know how they

13:39

vote. I know what their politics

13:42

are, right? So. This be

13:44

everything becomes something so nothing

13:46

can exist in a vacuum

13:48

and your Boy Scout guy,

13:50

but that means you're a

13:52

mega guy now because of

13:54

the traditional whatever and so

13:56

now we're gonna attack that

13:58

but we're not really attacking

14:01

walking alone without a mask

14:03

on a trail We're attacking

14:05

your politics and that's basically

14:07

what it's all come down

14:09

to now, right? so

14:11

you drive a pick up truck and

14:13

you put American flag on it. We

14:15

go, we know. And so

14:17

then the people are like, why are they against

14:20

the American flags? They're not against the American

14:22

flag. They're against the way the guy drives the

14:24

truck votes. Yeah. And now they know it.

14:26

It's become even like that driving around. I try

14:28

not to do it myself. But if I

14:30

see a house that has patriotic stuff on it,

14:32

I assume it's like, oh, there must be

14:34

conservative people living there. Yeah. I

14:37

figured out a long

14:39

time ago, like they're

14:41

ways. to,

14:43

okay, in

14:45

terms of conservative

14:47

house, if you

14:49

put a sign up that says, you

14:52

know, no person is illegal and

14:54

LGBT and we believe whatever you're right

14:56

for a Robin like a pistol

14:58

whip and a Robin. But if you

15:00

put an NRA or you know,

15:02

these these colors don't run or whatever,

15:04

then you got then they'll probably

15:06

go to the next house where they

15:09

put that sign up. I mean,

15:11

someone should statistically work it out. But

15:13

you want to put a

15:16

Confederate flag sticker on your front

15:18

window. You might get it broken, but

15:20

you're not going to get robbed.

15:22

That means there's someone in there cleaning

15:24

a gun right now. I

15:26

saw the one that the number one

15:28

house to rob. I saw was

15:30

certainly noses running. I saw a. It's

15:33

a house that had a sticker for how many

15:35

cats they had in the house, so the fire department

15:37

could save them. I'm like, oh, you're going to

15:39

get robbed. But what is in a house full of

15:41

cats that you want to rob? I

15:43

don't know. It's covered with hair. You take everything

15:45

out, and it all smells like the cats. That's

15:47

so funny. All right,

15:49

so my special, which,

15:53

sorry, you're going to put

15:55

all that info on the

15:57

screen. Uh, what

15:59

we talked about before that comes,

16:01

uh, Adam comes clean. That's available

16:03

right now. And it's fantastic. By

16:05

the way, I watched it. Great

16:07

jokes. Really? Yeah. I'm so flattered because

16:09

I watched yours and I thought, Oh, Adam's

16:11

got a bunch of great jokes in his.

16:13

Yeah, yours is awesome. Oh, I'm so glad

16:15

you watched it. Fancy. You

16:18

saw it on, uh. I'm

16:21

sorry, on dry bar. Yeah,

16:23

on the app. Yeah. Oh, OK.

16:25

So now the first special

16:27

I shot is available in front

16:29

of the paywall or whatever.

16:31

So it's free. You don't have

16:33

to sign up is what

16:35

I'm saying to do it. That

16:37

second one I shot is

16:39

available to subscribers. And that's behind.

16:41

You have to be a

16:43

you have to have a subscription.

16:45

Right. But the first one

16:47

is free. To anyone listening it's

16:50

just at the at their

16:52

website at the I guess you

16:54

go to On the angel

16:56

app and it's free. All right,

16:58

so there you go. So

17:00

thanks for watching. I appreciate that

17:02

people are I find sometimes

17:04

When it comes to stand I

17:06

don't know if you have

17:08

this thought or not, but like

17:10

I'll go out and Do

17:12

like I did Bobby Kennedy juniors

17:15

stand up, fundraiser, whatever, the

17:17

night of comedy with

17:19

whatever. And, you

17:22

know, I can be realistic

17:24

about my performances. Every

17:26

time I say that, I go, I crush my face. I'll

17:29

tell you, the theater

17:31

was that direction. There

17:33

was like seven or eight comedians.

17:36

And, you know, when you get

17:38

in that situation, You

17:40

do sort of sit back there and

17:42

everyone's doing 15 minutes. And

17:44

I did it with a kid rock

17:46

benefit and stuff. But you sit in the

17:48

green room, you're kind of sizing. People

17:50

are sizing people up a little bit because

17:53

at some point somebody's going to pick

17:55

a ranking. You know, they'll go, how was

17:57

the kid rock? You know, nine of

17:59

a thousand comedians. They go, so and so

18:01

is really good. And then so and

18:03

so is it. And then you want to

18:05

be up toward the top. Yes. You

18:07

know what I mean? So

18:10

I went out there and I crushed

18:12

it. And I was probably the funniest of

18:14

the night. But I saw everyone and

18:16

everyone was good, but I did extra good.

18:18

And then a lot of comedians will come on

18:20

the show and I'll go, oh man, I

18:23

saw this guy. He did The Rite

18:25

of Kennedy, whatever. And he was really great that

18:27

night. They go. They

18:31

never go, oh, you're good too.

18:33

It's weird. Comedians don't like

18:35

to hand it out. Yeah. And

18:37

so it's very, it's rare or

18:39

pretty rare when comedians go, hey,

18:42

Sawyer Special was great, you know, or something like

18:44

ours with you that night. It a good job or

18:46

whatever. It's just a, did you notice that? Oh,

18:48

I noticed that, but I'm glad you have a self

18:50

-awareness about it, because I know when I've done well,

18:52

but I also know comics, especially newer comics. When

18:55

you watch them go up and they'll get off

18:57

and they'll they'll tell you'll hear them tell people

18:59

the next show. Oh, I crushed and you're like,

19:01

no, I was at that show. You didn't you

19:03

didn't. Oh, I see the other thing where they

19:05

they have this this, you know, unfounded self confidence

19:07

where they're like, oh, I killed it again tonight.

19:10

You're fine. All right. That's helpful on comedy.

19:12

I don't think so. No, right. Unreal confidence.

19:14

Yeah. But. Yeah. And what I find from

19:16

the audience, where you also never want to

19:18

be is sometimes at a club, especially,

19:20

it'll be like waiting by the exit to

19:22

say goodbye to people, thank them for coming.

19:24

And the audience will come up and they'll

19:26

go to a comic and go, oh, you

19:29

were really good. And they'll turn and look

19:31

at another and go, oh, hey, you

19:33

were. Yeah. You can tell they weren't really

19:35

a fan of that one. Yeah. Yeah. I

19:37

think, I think it's good to do reality

19:39

on reality terms, you know, it'll help you

19:41

improve. But if you had a good night,

19:43

then you can own that as well. It

19:45

just have to, you just have

19:48

to call balls and strikes for

19:50

yourself. It'll be helpful. So you were

19:52

an Eagle Scout when it was

19:54

tough to be an Eagle Scout. What

19:57

is the minimum amount of time? it

19:59

would take to be an Eagle Scout

20:01

back in the day, like to get

20:04

to Black Belt. You couldn't do it

20:06

in three months. That's interesting

20:08

because you had to finish it by your 18th

20:10

birthday. Those were the rules. When you become

20:12

an adult, you're no longer in Scouts. I

20:14

was where I pushed it till the week

20:16

before my birthday. I remember my dad being

20:18

like, you got to finish this. You got

20:20

to get this American badge done to finish

20:22

it in time. There were kids that

20:25

would finish it around, I don't

20:27

know what the earliest is, but... 14

20:29

15 there were kids that got in

20:31

there and they would just have this

20:33

they'd have to get two sashes full

20:35

of like getting every merit badge But

20:37

so earliest I say maybe 14 15

20:39

if you were a real overachiever, but

20:42

18 was like the cutoff and How

20:44

long it take you then I mean

20:46

you start when you're seven so you

20:48

join cub scouts around six or seven

20:50

and that's like the junior scouting

20:52

and then around 11 or 12

20:54

I think you become a Boy Scout

20:56

and then you have those six

20:59

years between like 12 to 18 and

21:01

Boy Scouts to complete all the

21:03

merit badges and do an Eagle project

21:05

and complete all the requirements. Did

21:07

there were there what was like the

21:09

most difficult task or merit badge? I

21:12

remember the swimming merit badge was tough. because

21:14

you the only place you could really you

21:16

could either go on your own time in

21:18

the summer but at Boy Scout camp over

21:20

the summer they would have swimming merit badge

21:22

and you'd have to get up at the

21:25

crack of dawn. And even in

21:27

the summer, it was in the Poconos, it was

21:29

this cold lake. So you'd have to go in

21:31

there and there was like a mile swim

21:33

and you'd have to dive down and pick up

21:35

things off the bottom that were in the murky

21:37

brown water when it's six AM and like

21:39

58 degrees outside. So that was the

21:41

thing where you'd, you'd, you'd kind of put that one off.

21:43

And then one year you'd be like, I have to get

21:45

swimming mirror badge this year. That one was tough. It was,

21:47

it was physically exerting and it was freezing cold. Yeah.

21:53

That's a, yeah, that's. Tough. I don't think it's a

21:55

phobia, but to be in water where you can't

21:57

see your feet, but I don't like it. And I

21:59

don't think anyone likes it. And it's one of

22:01

those where you're swimming down through the water and you

22:03

don't even know how close you are to the

22:05

bottom until it just appears out of the murky depths.

22:07

And then you're just holding your breath and desperate

22:09

to get back up. So the swim one was a

22:11

tough one. one was tough for me. Yeah. And

22:14

then you always have to complete an Eagle

22:16

project. I put in flag poles at a Boy

22:18

Scout camp. So we had to. dig the

22:20

pits for the three flag poles, put in the

22:22

cement, put up the poles and put a

22:24

garden around it. Different people picked different levels of

22:26

difficulty for their Eagle projects.

22:28

And I listen, I feel like

22:31

and, and, you

22:33

know, anyone who's done

22:35

anything at a sort of higher

22:38

level discipline,

22:40

and it doesn't really matter whether it's

22:42

MMA or Eagle scouting or football or

22:44

whatever, it's just about sort of conquering yourself,

22:46

sort of getting past your pain. I'm

22:48

glad you put those on the same level

22:50

of it. Yeah. flattered.

22:53

I'm flattered. I'm

22:55

just saying it

22:58

doesn't have to be

23:00

anything where you're awarded a

23:02

championship belt or an Eagle Scout

23:04

ranking. It's just sort of conquering

23:06

yourself, you know. And

23:08

man, it is

23:10

trouble these days. People aren't doing it.

23:12

They're not engaging in it. I

23:15

feel like I fall back

23:17

on it a lot. It

23:19

has a, you know, it's

23:21

not necessarily physical all the time.

23:23

Like, you know, was talking to someone

23:25

about doing a clean 45 minutes

23:28

and it was like, put it, put it

23:30

on the calendar, put that date on it. I'm

23:32

going to start working on it. It's not

23:34

all going to be that comfortable, but put on

23:36

the counter. Let's do it. And,

23:38

and it, but I

23:40

am drawing on playing

23:43

football weirdly. million years

23:45

ago or just doing a whole bunch

23:47

of stuff I didn't want to

23:49

do. And then I realized sometimes I

23:51

talked to a lot of people

23:53

who haven't done a lot of stuff they don't

23:55

want to do and they're not good at

23:57

doing stuff they don't want to do and the

24:00

product is bad and or they don't

24:02

do it at all and they

24:04

end up getting left behind. In

24:07

life. Yeah, I think that's that's really interesting because

24:09

I feel like I like that it's like

24:11

challenging yourself It's you want to know that you

24:13

can rise the challenge even just doing you

24:15

know the clean 45 minutes or when I was

24:17

in Boy Scouts I remember the only merit

24:19

badge I ever gave up on at

24:21

Scout Camp the one year there was mountain biking and

24:23

I was a pretty good mountain biker but when I signed

24:25

up for it the group that I was in were

24:27

all these kids that had been doing it for years and

24:29

could you know hop their bikes over logs and I

24:31

felt like I was getting left in the dust and that

24:33

summer I quit that Maribaj and it bothered me it

24:35

was like that was like the first time When

24:38

I do something even it's hard. It's like

24:40

you kind of want to commit and see it

24:42

through even if it's gonna take you a

24:44

while Mm -hmm, but that that sat with me

24:46

when I was like, oh, I gave up on

24:48

that thing and yeah, don't like doing that

24:50

and that was a feeling I was like, oh,

24:52

I don't want that feeling again about something.

24:54

Yeah giving up on yeah, yeah, no and and

24:57

also You didn't want to say

24:59

out loud Like I'm scared to

25:01

do that. Yeah, I the one

25:03

that's weird that people

25:05

do a lot as they just go, I don't

25:07

do that. I'm not doing that again. I

25:09

go, okay, stop saying. Why do

25:11

you have such a long list of

25:13

things you don't do or food you

25:15

won't try or stuff you won't engage

25:18

in? It's weird. Just go, let's do

25:20

it or give it a try or

25:22

whatever. I prefer this over that. But

25:24

people out loud go, I'm scared to

25:26

do this or I'm not comfortable with

25:28

that or whatever. A lot of

25:31

it's nonsense. But I just mean, There's

25:33

gotta be, we've

25:36

sanitized the world enough so that

25:38

kids don't have to engage

25:40

in that stuff if they don't

25:42

choose to. And

25:44

the moms have become, and the dads, I

25:47

mean the moms started it and the dads

25:49

just sort of fell in. It became like.

25:52

weird Nazi sympathizers or something like I'm

25:54

not gonna round up any Jews

25:56

but I'm not gonna say anything if

25:58

anyone else does like I'll just hang

26:00

out watch you know what I mean

26:03

guys sucked into that and kids are

26:05

soft now yeah and they don't test

26:07

themselves it's that participation trophy culture and

26:09

the sort of lowering the standards where

26:11

everybody you know you just kind of

26:14

That's how I feel like Boy

26:16

Scouts might be now. I don't

26:18

know what the standards are, but

26:20

I feel like they... I don't

26:22

get what is satisfying about the

26:24

participation trophy, because I got a

26:27

lot of them, and it's been

26:29

going on for a long time,

26:31

and we always couch it as

26:33

the participation trophy, but participation trophy

26:35

is what you got if you

26:37

participated, but I didn't care. I

26:39

wanted most valuable or best defensive,

26:41

whatever. I

26:43

didn't I was so weirded

26:45

out in my my head that

26:47

when I was in the

26:50

11th grade and I I went

26:52

to play varsity football and

26:54

I'd went from Not starting on

26:56

the B team to ended

26:58

up being a starter on the

27:00

varsity because I was just

27:02

really threw myself into it and

27:04

at the end of the

27:06

year got most improved

27:08

and I was like

27:10

disgusted Later on in

27:13

life like people are

27:15

like, oh, no, that's

27:17

a good one. I'm

27:19

gonna know it's not

27:21

I don't want that

27:23

like and I don't

27:25

know it's an it's

27:27

an interesting Mindset like

27:30

and I without judgment

27:33

Who was would be proud

27:35

of most improved and there's

27:37

an argument for it and

27:39

then I was disgusted by

27:41

it I didn't want to

27:43

talk about I was like

27:45

a fine. I never even

27:48

brought I didn't brought it

27:50

up to anyone. Yeah, but

27:52

I don't know where I

27:54

don't know that I ever

27:56

accepted Mine I don't know

27:58

where it is. I don't know that I

28:00

ever had anyone hand it to me You

28:02

display if you if you get first place

28:04

if you finish something that you want that

28:06

displayed you want people like you're proud of

28:08

it But yeah, I remember if we got

28:10

Participation stuff. It was always these little red

28:12

ribbons and you just you have to throw

28:14

them away instantly Or you put it in

28:17

a drawer somewhere and two years later you'd

28:19

throw it away It's not just that to

28:21

the we live in a time of like

28:23

cheap dopamine like you can just instantly be

28:25

kind of happy and it like kind of

28:27

holds people back from being Truly happy. A

28:29

lot of the fighters that coach, um, you

28:31

know, the guys who fall off don't have

28:33

the discipline to like just get in there

28:35

and grind it out. So a lot of

28:37

doing something really great is boring and lonely.

28:39

Yeah. Yeah. It's super. That's very

28:42

super repetitive. And I

28:44

think that's, that's where people fall out.

28:46

That's just the super repetitive stuff. Like

28:48

the hardest thing I could ever. When

28:50

I taught boxing, I couldn't get people

28:52

to skip rope because they just didn't.

28:54

They weren't good at it and they

28:56

didn't like it. And all they did

28:58

was sit in one place for 20

29:00

minutes and skip rope, and they just

29:02

hate it. They just wouldn't do it.

29:04

They'd go right on wallop on the

29:06

heavy bag or But you go get

29:08

a 17 -year -old and jab and stick

29:10

it back to his face nowadays. Everybody

29:12

thinks that their Floyd Mayweather in his

29:14

boxing and Philly show. Right, right. like,

29:16

doing this, and everybody throws their jab

29:18

and puts it back there and nipple,

29:20

and I punch him in the face.

29:22

And I say, aha, you see that?

29:24

Yeah. I hit a student of mine

29:26

in the face. I hit all my

29:28

students in the face. I did

29:31

it. And I remember it was a

29:33

woman. And she was like,

29:35

why'd you do that? And I said,

29:37

I told you nine times to pull your

29:39

jab back to your head. I just

29:41

told you to do it. Just do it.

29:43

You know what I mean? And they're

29:45

like. Nobody could

29:47

throw a cross without dropping their

29:49

jab down to their hip. And

29:51

I was like, don't do it.

29:53

Just put it on your face

29:55

and physically touch your face. Then

29:57

if you can't figure it out,

30:00

you can't be trusted. They throw

30:02

that cross hand right back down to the

30:04

hip. You know, and like, I got so

30:06

crazy yesterday. I just put them guys to

30:08

go jab cross hook cross and like, blah,

30:11

blah, blah, blah, and then throw it right

30:13

back. So sometimes you get punched in the

30:15

face. But if you're shielding up, you know

30:17

what's coming. Four punches in a row. Put

30:19

your hands back to your face. It's a

30:21

nightmare. Trying to discipline these guys like hurting

30:23

kittens that are raising claws, you know. tell

30:26

you something that's probably good for these guys.

30:28

I don't know if you'd do it, but I

30:30

used to do it. The

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30:45

along the game starts here. I think when

30:47

I was to be at the jet

30:49

center, Benny Arquitas. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. The

30:51

Bob. I'd go just

30:53

do the first round. Just

30:55

your front hand. Just jabbing and

30:57

hooking and whatever you uppercut, whatever

31:00

you can muster with your bad

31:02

arm, but just. your bad arm

31:04

which is good because it teaches

31:06

you really not ignore your bad

31:08

arm. So it's like the first

31:10

round just the front hand. The

31:13

second round you can throw the

31:15

cross but only downstairs which is good

31:17

because people ignore the jab and they

31:19

ignore body punches and they should be

31:21

doing more body work and more

31:23

weak arm, but they just load up

31:25

on the cross and they go head

31:27

hunting. Yeah. Right. Yeah. So do the

31:30

first round, just the front arm and

31:32

do the second round. You can use

31:34

your back arm, but only to the

31:36

body. We have the same methodology.

31:38

Oh, you do. Yeah. That's exactly what

31:40

I ran through yesterday. Oh,

31:42

really? That's funny. Old school stuff

31:44

still works. Yeah. Oh, OK.

31:46

Yeah. That was way back at

31:48

the Jet Center and Van

31:50

Nuys or Benny or Kitas and

31:52

his brother. with the law

31:54

of Blinky and his wife, Lily,

31:56

and his wife, Blinky's wife.

31:58

Well, these guys were scary guys.

32:00

Like, many of your kids

32:03

would do, like, death matches in

32:05

the Philippines and stuff. Kind

32:07

of crazy, crazy stuff. They

32:09

are pretty legendary. I know about them,

32:11

you know? Yeah, they were famous guys.

32:13

They were in Van Nuys and then

32:15

the earthquake hit and their building, like,

32:17

fell down because it was all made

32:19

out of bricks. Oh, wow. And bricks.

32:22

in an earthquake or just they

32:24

just it just comes all

32:26

all down. So like when I

32:28

was living in an old

32:30

house in the in the valley

32:32

when the first earthquake hit

32:34

in the 70s or we had

32:36

this big tall chimney and

32:39

it just fell out and we

32:41

never which was normal to

32:43

me. But now I look at

32:45

it is is weird. You

32:47

know, now that I look at

32:49

it sort of like. And

32:52

it was weird. The

32:54

earthquake, you can

32:56

look it up, Dawson. It

32:58

was 72 or 74. The

33:02

chimney, and

33:05

it was a high

33:07

chimney because the house had

33:09

a very high pitched

33:12

roof. 71? Oh,

33:14

that early. So the house

33:16

had a high pitched roof. And

33:18

the rule is that chimney needs

33:20

to go higher than the top

33:22

of the roof for fire, safety,

33:25

whatever code they had in 1891

33:27

or whatever it was. But you

33:29

had to go past the ridge

33:31

rafter, the top of the. thing.

33:33

So no embers, I guess. Right.

33:35

And so, but the chimney was

33:38

down at the bottom line, like

33:40

at the wall line. So that

33:42

meant that chimney was like 13

33:44

feet high and it was all

33:46

just brick and it was a

33:48

million years old and the earthquake

33:51

hit and it all fell over

33:53

and it all slid into our

33:55

neighbor's yard. I thought

33:57

was sort of novel because it just

33:59

went to the true ex's yard because

34:01

there was only like three feet between

34:03

our house and their yard and it

34:05

just tumbled. Went the yard and then But

34:08

the thing that was funny about it is

34:10

I was like, oh, all right, well, now

34:12

we don't have a chimney. And

34:15

everyone was like, yeah, no more

34:17

chimney for us. And then

34:19

at some point I was like

34:21

35 and I was visiting my mom's

34:23

like, yeah, no chimney. What

34:25

are you going to do? Yeah, which

34:27

is a weird mentality. But

34:29

no chimney for the rest of

34:31

that house's life. And then it got

34:34

torn down. But it also just reminded

34:36

me of a funny story, which is. We

34:40

had my grandparents had

34:42

an upright piano like

34:44

a cheap bad upright

34:46

piano, but they had

34:49

a piano and They

34:51

were roofing put some

34:53

tar on a roof

34:55

above it a flat

34:57

roof and And it

34:59

dripped down and got

35:01

onto the handle under

35:03

the arm of this

35:05

upright piano and then

35:08

At some point, my grandparents

35:10

died and my sister

35:12

sort of collected things that

35:14

were at the house.

35:16

Now they didn't, nobody in

35:18

my family's left any

35:20

money or anything. God, you

35:22

know, God forbid. God,

35:25

I just, I want to break a pencil

35:27

every time I think about that, you know?

35:29

I was thinking about that too. I was

35:31

talking to, I was like out, I was

35:33

at breakfast with somebody the other day and

35:35

it was like a couple. I was like,

35:38

Your parents, are they done? Are they

35:40

okay? And they're like, they're very comfortable.

35:42

And I was like, oh. Oh,

35:45

and then I said to the guys, like,

35:47

what about your parents? Well, my mom has like

35:49

millions of dollars. And I go, where'd

35:52

she get to? Well, my dad had a million, then he

35:54

died. And then she's got the millions. And I'm like, what's

35:57

that like? Like somebody dies and

35:59

leaves you something, you know, just

36:01

dead. I don't know. a

36:04

vacation house in Palm Springs, or a

36:06

condo in Maui, or something. I would

36:08

like to just talk to the lawyer,

36:10

you know I mean? Just something, just

36:13

something. Maybe just eight grand, but just

36:15

eight grand, but it's something, right? I remember

36:17

that in high school when I would

36:19

hear kids, if their grandmother or the grandfather

36:21

died, and they'd be like, oh, they

36:23

left me 15 ,000 or 20 ,000 dollars. And

36:25

I was like, I've had several relatives

36:27

die. All I got was to go to

36:29

a funeral. There was no, like, there

36:31

was no inheritance. It was just somebody's God.

36:33

I had to pay for the... of

36:35

my father -in -law of a $15 ,000 casket. I

36:39

found the exact one online

36:41

at Costco for like $1

36:43

,100 like two days later. Exactly

36:46

the same. Anyway.

36:49

Now do they have bulk caskets at Costco if

36:51

you're planning to have a few people pass

36:53

in the next few? I mean, I'm

36:55

sure there was a reason why

36:57

this one was 15, but it's

36:59

probably just like... at the mortuary

37:02

or something versus saving my money

37:04

for the person I wasn't related

37:06

to, okay. But

37:08

there was no

37:10

money, there was never

37:12

any money. And my parents

37:14

have passed on and the grandparents, everyone

37:16

passed on, but there's never any money.

37:19

But there were, like my sister was

37:21

able to go in and get like

37:23

a crock pot. or stuff,

37:25

you know, just some plates or some,

37:27

you know, just some stuff, you

37:29

know, and she got

37:31

the piano. I didn't even

37:33

care about, I mean, here's, I think here's

37:35

the biggest, there could

37:37

be no greater indictment of a

37:39

family's lack of wealth than somebody

37:42

dies and then somebody says, Do

37:44

you want to go through the

37:46

belongings? I go, I'm good. I

37:48

mean, that's basically saying if

37:51

there's nothing there. If they

37:53

had a Tony Bennett CD,

37:55

I was between the Tony

37:57

Bennett CD and the Practical

37:59

Bible by Dennis Prager. And

38:02

I'm going to step further. All

38:04

right. I'm going to argue that

38:06

the bag it was delivered in

38:08

has some value. I'm not saying,

38:10

you know. You're gonna get

38:12

rich and retire off of selling the

38:14

Trader Joe's bag, but it's not worthless.

38:16

It has some value after lunch I

38:18

was walked off of his inheritance Yeah,

38:20

well that was my dad my mom

38:22

I got a note and that was

38:24

made out to me and my sister

38:27

But I'm not sure where that note

38:29

is, but I don't feel like it

38:31

has a lot of value to it

38:33

I don't know what I could sell

38:35

it for but maybe you haven't tried

38:37

to eBay not Not gonna test the

38:39

waters. I'm gonna get an approach I

38:41

want to get a loan out against

38:43

this. Yeah. All right. I got this

38:45

note for my mom. It's half my

38:47

sister. So I don't fully own it.

38:49

And then I got this Tony Bennett

38:51

CD and I got the practical Bible.

38:53

So like, what could we come

38:55

in the good bag? Are you keeping?

38:58

Oh, yeah, I could keep

39:00

the bag for sentimental

39:02

reasons. So my sister

39:04

had this piano at her

39:06

house. that had roofing tar

39:09

on the arm of it. And

39:11

it had ripped off the

39:14

ceiling, but this is from like

39:16

1973. And I

39:18

was, look, I was at her

39:20

house for Thanksgiving, like 15 or

39:22

20 years ago, and she had

39:24

this thing in her house, the

39:26

piano. And she

39:28

said, yeah, I got grandpa's piano. I said,

39:30

OK. And then I looked at it,

39:32

and I said, the tar's still there.

39:35

And my mom was there, and my sister

39:37

was stepdad. And they go, yeah, the

39:39

tar's still there after all those years. And

39:41

I go, yeah, it's

39:43

still there. And my mom's like laughing,

39:45

yeah, drip down from the ceiling. And

39:47

then it was there. And I was

39:49

like, yeah, we can get rid of it. And

39:52

she's never looked at me like, what?

39:54

I had a couple of drinks, okay. So

39:57

I go, give me your

39:59

hair dryer. Give me a hair

40:01

dryer. I need a hair dryer and

40:03

like a butter knife. And everyone's

40:05

look, everyone's at the table, you know, they're looking

40:07

at me like, what is this guy doing? I

40:09

go, I get the hairdryer, I get the butter

40:11

knife, I heat it up with the hairdryer and

40:13

I just get the butter knife and it just

40:15

comes off. And I go, it's done. It's

40:18

done. It took four minutes,

40:20

four minutes, you losers, for 50

40:22

years you've been living with all

40:24

that. Four minutes and five decades.

40:26

Yeah, four minutes and five decades.

40:28

Right. That's how long it took

40:30

to get the tar. But

40:32

who are we dealing with

40:34

here? There were dealing with

40:36

people that see tar, dripped

40:38

on an instrument and go,

40:41

nothing we can do. There's

40:43

nothing can do. The chimney's

40:45

gone. The tar's taking

40:47

its place. And there's nothing

40:49

we can do because we're losers

40:51

and we're trapped in our

40:53

environment. We didn't do MMA. We

40:55

weren't Eagle Scouts and we

40:57

didn't play football. We're just here.

40:59

And whatever happens is what

41:01

happens. And I don't get it.

41:03

But it's a mentality and it's bad. Yeah.

41:05

Well, one thing I admire about you, you

41:07

seem to know these things and I worry

41:09

about that as a comedian. I feel like

41:11

as I've gotten older, when I was a

41:13

kid, something that or you mentioned roofing,

41:15

like my uncles and my grandfathers were all

41:17

roofers. So I'd help them. Oh, that's why

41:19

you didn't get left anything. I felt like,

41:21

yeah. I felt like I was doing something

41:23

manual and accomplishing something. I was doing that

41:25

stuff. And in Boy Scouts, you learn how

41:27

to do physical things. And I've gotten older

41:29

and I'm doing comedy. It's fun. But I

41:32

feel like I'm. Like, if comedy doesn't work

41:34

out or if it goes away, I have

41:36

no skills that I've picked up over the

41:38

last 20 years. There's just no

41:40

more practical, like, you know,

41:42

that kind of work. I don't, I

41:44

mean, I would say to people, and I'm

41:46

a little bit of a broken record

41:48

on it, but you need like

41:50

a sort of tactile, you

41:52

need to live. You have to

41:54

have one foot in a tactile

41:57

world. Yes. And when you get in

41:59

a comedy or you just sit

42:01

in a cubicle all day and do

42:03

data entry or you write political

42:05

opinions online or something, you

42:07

leave the tactile world. And it's

42:09

a it's a it's an

42:11

interesting thing. I was talking to

42:13

Dr. Drew about it the other

42:16

day on our show, which is.

42:19

So I was saying to Drew,

42:21

you know, I was here all

42:23

last weekend and I was Organizing

42:25

and sort of cleaning and organizing

42:27

and moved out of one warehouse

42:30

that all got dumped here and

42:32

there's just junk with junk, you

42:34

know and and everything is sort

42:36

of caddy wampus and the The

42:38

sockets, you know the mechanic sockets

42:40

are with the drywall screws and

42:43

stuff and I just need to

42:45

like separate and clean And

42:47

so I was saying to Dr. Drew, I

42:49

said, you know, it's weird,

42:51

but I went out and

42:53

went to church on

42:56

Easter and then went to

42:58

brunch. And I found

43:00

myself sitting there going, we

43:02

went to church and then it was time to

43:04

go to brunch. And I was saying to my girlfriend,

43:07

Maybe I just hit the shop and you guys

43:09

go to brunch. And they're like, what? You

43:11

want to come to brunch and hear how rich

43:13

everyone's family are so you can get disappointed,

43:15

right? And I go, well, you're right. I don't

43:17

want to miss that conversation where people are

43:19

comfortable and I'm uncomfortable. But OK. But

43:22

I kept sort of going, why don't

43:24

you just and the girls go to

43:26

brunch and then I'll just slink on

43:28

over to the shop because I was

43:30

jonesing to get over here. to do

43:33

a task that was repetitive, kind

43:35

of boring and unenviable. Like most people, like

43:37

I couldn't get my kids to do it. They'd

43:39

complain too much, you know, but I was

43:41

like, wanted to do it. And I said to

43:43

Drew, I said,

43:45

you know, years ago, and

43:48

I can't remember the syndrome,

43:50

but there's a syndrome that

43:53

humans have where you're physically

43:55

compelled to eat dirt. And

43:57

he shouted it out

44:00

immediately, but it escapes

44:02

me now. But it's

44:04

because you need iron.

44:06

And so you're like, why are you

44:08

eating dirt? That doesn't seem good.

44:11

And the person would be like, I

44:13

don't know why I want to

44:15

eat dirt, but I want to eat

44:17

dirt. And then it's your body

44:19

telling you, you've got to eat dirt.

44:21

It's like your reptilian brain going,

44:23

you need iron or whatever's in dirt

44:25

that you need this to. to

44:27

eat. Oh, pika. Yeah, it's

44:30

called pika. So I'd always stuck

44:32

in my head, like your body

44:34

will just push you into doing

44:36

something that doesn't make sense or

44:38

doesn't sound attractive to anybody because

44:40

it knows what it needs it.

44:43

You know what I mean? And

44:45

so I was like, why

44:47

am I trying to get out

44:49

a brunch to go sort drywall

44:51

screws in a warehouse? And I

44:54

realized, oh, I need it.

44:56

Yeah, I need it. And and

44:58

and I spent the whole weekend here

45:00

just sorting stuff out and and

45:02

like Sunday I was just here alone

45:04

like all day just kind of

45:06

sorting stuff and looking at stuff and

45:08

I was like doesn't feel like

45:10

a good use of my time per

45:12

se you know if you break

45:14

it down I would get thousands of

45:16

dollars an hour to do what

45:18

I do for a living this is

45:20

nothing this is kind of grunt

45:22

scrub Stuff, you know pay somebody pay

45:25

some kid to do it, you

45:27

know Why are you doing it? You

45:29

know and then I was like

45:31

I need it and and I'm compelled

45:33

to do it and and I

45:35

think people are ignoring that thing That

45:37

they they got to get back

45:39

to it. Yeah, and they're going nuts

45:41

and they're not getting out and

45:43

You know for a lot of people

45:45

it can be nature, but for

45:47

me it's like I like organizing and

45:49

fixing and you sort of hacked

45:51

your brain into a in getting dopamine

45:54

from tasking and accomplishing tasks. I

45:56

noticed yesterday I got a bunch of

45:58

like weird odds and ends, like

46:00

busy work. You know, I love holding

46:02

the pads. I love working the

46:04

guys out. I love trying out, but

46:06

I just did some adulting. And

46:08

I suddenly was like, wow, I feel

46:10

great afterwards. It's something that's

46:12

kind of lost in the internet age. That's

46:14

how I always feel, yeah. You feel

46:16

like you accomplished something. You work with your

46:19

hands or even if it was something

46:21

minor, you feel like you achieved. box. Yeah.

46:23

Yeah, people, it's being Um,

46:26

swept under the rug. It's not

46:28

being talked about. It's not like a

46:31

political subject, you know, it says

46:33

nothing. No one ever brings it up.

46:35

No one, you know, we've removed

46:37

all the shop classes from the junior

46:39

high schools. We got away, but

46:41

then we decided that everyone's greatest life

46:43

would be to learn coding. Yeah.

46:45

You know what I mean? That isn't

46:47

it. Those people kill themselves. They

46:49

get fat. And they go nuts and

46:51

they get addicted to the internet

46:53

and everything else. Like sitting and coding

46:55

is not what we're meant to

46:57

do. We're meant to be on our

47:00

feet doing things with purpose. And

47:02

a little is what Drew calls a

47:04

little ordinary misery. Just a little

47:06

bit of that. You've got to sprinkle

47:08

that in all the time. And

47:10

also there's like a thing where you

47:12

need a sense. I

47:14

was. looking around back

47:16

here on a Sunday.

47:18

And I pulled this big

47:20

banner out, five, six

47:22

foot tall by like 14 feet. And it

47:24

was a big vinyl banner from, I don't

47:26

know what, when we did some car show

47:28

somewhere to put up at the booth or

47:31

whatever. And I like looked at

47:33

it and I was like, I'm gonna

47:35

hang this thing up here. And I was

47:37

just alone. It was kind of a

47:39

two manner because it was big, you know?

47:41

And I was like, hmm. All

47:43

right, I'm doing this. And I just kind

47:45

of worked it out. Like I was like, all

47:47

right, what do I do? I'm going to

47:49

use zip ties. I'm to use wire. But how

47:51

am I going to hold this thing up? It's

47:55

kind of a two manner. But

47:57

I think I figure this one

47:59

out. And then the ladder was a

48:01

little sketchy and a lot of

48:03

guys had gone down. And

48:06

so I got the ladder, but it wasn't

48:08

quite right. So I brought the door chalk from

48:10

the front and put it under the thing.

48:12

So it wouldn't slide on me and so blah,

48:14

blah, blah. And then it took

48:16

a while, but I did it. Yeah. And

48:18

then at some point, my girlfriend came to

48:20

pick me up and she like walked around

48:22

and she's like, she says, this is huge

48:24

banner hanging there. She goes, you,

48:26

you, you did that. You put that

48:29

up and I go, yeah, she did alone.

48:31

I go, yeah, I did alone. She

48:33

goes, wow. And I go, uh.

48:35

Wow, that felt good. Just that little laugh.

48:37

And then she roamed up and she

48:39

goes, you're going to kill yourself. All

48:41

right. But that little moment where someone

48:43

goes, you did the thing with that. And

48:46

I live for that. Like

48:48

when I worked, there'd

48:52

be, like when I work construct, there'd

48:54

be a huge pile of drywall in

48:56

the driveway. and and the foreman

48:58

guide go like I'm going to cherry lumber start

49:00

moving the drywall up and upstairs and put in

49:02

the master bedroom and I go okay and then

49:04

he'd leave and I go I'm gonna get it

49:06

all up. Yes. I'm gonna get it all up

49:09

there and then he'd come back and he'd go

49:11

we're you you got all up there and I

49:13

go yes I did you know you did that

49:15

you shove you got all and then I've only

49:17

been gone for an hour and I go yep

49:19

got all yeah wow. versus

49:21

now, which is weird when I see everyone that

49:23

I go, go do this thing or clean this

49:25

thing. And they go, OK. And then at some

49:27

point I come back and I go, hey, this

49:29

looks like crap. You didn't do it. And they

49:31

go, yeah, OK. But I'm like, why?

49:33

I don't know why. Why don't you want

49:35

that feeling? Yeah. What is that? I got

49:37

to show the show the guy the move,

49:40

show the guy the move, show the guy

49:42

the move over and over again, over again.

49:44

Then he bust it and sparring. And then

49:46

there's just a quick glance over at me.

49:48

Yeah. That's it. Like, yeah. Like, don't say

49:50

anything, bud. Get back to work. Yes. Yeah.

49:52

Yes. What that feeling, which feels

49:54

good, versus almost everyone I deal with, where

49:56

I just circle back around. I go, you

49:59

didn't do what I told you to do,

50:01

and you didn't do it right. And it's

50:03

still a mess. And they go, OK. Yeah.

50:05

That's weird, right? And that's that feeling I

50:07

used to get helping my uncle's roof. Like,

50:09

what it reminded me of, they did have

50:11

these big packs of shingles that weighed like

50:13

60 pounds. Yeah. And like, you'd have

50:15

to bring them up the ladder. And I remember it was like,

50:18

you can only take one of those at a time. And it

50:20

was that thing where I'm like, I can probably get to, you

50:22

know, I'll find a way to. Mine were

50:24

40. They're 40 pound, 40 pound. And

50:26

then I walk up the stairs. You go

50:28

up the ladder, you shimmy up there.

50:30

But you're like, I did it and I

50:32

got them. It's so weird because there's

50:34

so many tools now. Like, where

50:36

was that? Where was that? I go

50:38

by job sites. I see the conveyor belt

50:40

now. They just put the roof. They

50:42

just all go right top. I see guys

50:44

walk around. They got the drywall dolly,

50:47

you know, just like, why was I, why

50:49

did I have the drywall on my

50:51

head? Like I was some, first

50:53

off, like it was 500 years

50:55

ago and I was getting

50:57

water, you know, in Africa with

50:59

a cord on my head.

51:01

Like, why was I, we, we

51:03

had to, Sheath,

51:06

you know, from roofing, sheathing, also roofing.

51:08

By the way, they charge roofing, they

51:10

go by the square, which is 10

51:12

foot by 10 foot, 100 square feet.

51:14

So people would know if you talk

51:16

to roofers, they go, how much is

51:18

square? How much is wave square? What's

51:20

the cost? What's that roofing? What's the

51:22

three tab presidential cost versus the 10

51:25

year, the 10 year

51:27

tar one or whatever they

51:29

go, is this much a

51:31

square, they'll talk in square.

51:33

So I was doing. earthquake

51:35

rehab downtown and we had

51:37

to sheath an entire huge

51:39

apartment building's roof. We had

51:42

to sheath it with plywood, tear

51:44

up the old plywood and skin it. We

51:48

figured out how to get

51:50

the, how to get like 500

51:52

sheets of plywood onto a

51:54

roof of a four story building.

51:56

No genie lift, no crane,

51:58

no nothing. It took the whole

52:00

crew, two guys, Sorry,

52:04

one guy on

52:06

each fire escape

52:08

platform. Yeah. Two

52:10

guys at the bottom with

52:12

the huge pallets of plywood, they'd

52:14

send it up to the

52:16

first and all you did was

52:18

stand there for probably about

52:20

four hours and just neck sheet.

52:22

Yeah, neck sheet. You just

52:25

grabbed it. You're leaning over the fire escape.

52:27

The sheet comes up, you grab it, slide

52:29

it up as high as you can get

52:31

it, and the next dude reaches down and

52:33

grab it. And there's some dude at the

52:35

top fire escape who then throws it to

52:37

the dude on the roof. That's

52:39

how, that's how we did it.

52:41

Like ants. Like ants. Yes.

52:44

Exactly. Same way that if they'd invented

52:46

plywood a thousand years ago, that's

52:48

the same way they would have got

52:50

it to the room. Two -tuck common

52:52

would be making you put that

52:54

plywood to the pyramid. And now there's

52:56

all this ergonomically correct everything. Didn't

52:58

have any of it. Even

53:00

the tools, like you hold a cordless drill

53:02

now, it's meant for your hands. It's

53:05

got a little rubber thing on it, shape

53:07

to the right. Stuff was just. cold

53:09

and hard and square and here you go.

53:11

It wasn't any of it. We didn't

53:13

even have gloves for stuff. They

53:15

got like 30 different style of gloves

53:17

now. They're like, are you doing rough?

53:20

Are you doing finish? Are you doing

53:22

surgery? We'll give you the

53:24

glove you need. We didn't have

53:26

gloves like you change transmission fluency. It's

53:29

just all over the place,

53:31

right? Yeah. You kids. And

53:34

now they won't even do it. You can't

53:36

even get people to do construction anymore. Yeah.

53:39

And if you, if you, your girlfriend said, you're

53:41

going to kill yourself doing it, but at least you

53:43

die doing something you love, doing something that you

53:45

should have had two people there helping. I

53:47

know. Well, I've, the only time,

53:49

the times I've always sort of. Almost

53:51

died was the definitely a two -maner.

53:53

Yeah, and I was doing it

53:55

I was going solo on a two

53:57

-maner that that was definitely can't wait

53:59

for somebody to show up And

54:01

so it was like I'm staring at

54:04

this huge banner and I'm looking

54:06

up where I want to put it

54:08

and I'm like Okay, but I

54:10

can't get I need to do this

54:12

now is what I was thinking

54:14

and I can't get anyone to do

54:16

it and then people everyone else

54:18

would go Do a Monday

54:20

when someone's here Make sure

54:22

you don't die to just

54:24

hold the ladder Yes Pike

54:26

as a compulsive eating disorder

54:28

which people eat non -food

54:30

items. Yeah, uh -huh like ashes

54:32

I've seen yeah, it's some

54:34

strange stuff. Yeah, so but

54:37

basically I'm using as a

54:39

metaphor which is your your

54:41

body will tell you what

54:43

you need to do and

54:45

I live in

54:47

a world of ideas and

54:49

arguments and jokes and

54:51

nothingness and thoughts. And

54:54

I'm like, I need to do silent,

54:56

quiet, boring, repetitive, task oriented with a

54:58

goal. Like I have to then step

55:00

back and go. Oh, what's up? Yeah,

55:02

you know anything like that embroidery not

55:04

embroidery, but even small time I rent

55:06

like I live in an apartment in

55:08

Toluca like I've learned where it is

55:11

like the other day There's if something

55:13

breaks in the apartment like you know

55:15

the dishwasher like a towel rack broke

55:17

off the wall the brackets broke I

55:19

know I can call the maintenance person

55:21

to do that, but there's that thing

55:23

where it's just like now I've timed

55:25

it. I'm gonna I want to do

55:28

it myself, whatever it is. Yeah.

55:30

So there's just those little things where it's

55:32

like, I just want to feel like I

55:34

fixed it myself rather than rather than calling

55:36

somebody and then I'm just, you know, hanging

55:38

out or. Yeah, sometimes I just punch a

55:40

hole in the wall so you. Just so

55:42

you can drive well there. Yeah. He

55:45

gets his girlfriend to dump him just so

55:47

he can do some drive well work. to feel

55:49

some rage, yeah. Got

55:51

a troll? You know, you know, it's

55:53

interesting. I'm writing down something I was

55:55

trying to think of when I was

55:58

talking to Drew, but this is a

56:00

good point that you stumbled onto. You

56:02

should get a merit badge for stumbling on at this point. I'll

56:04

just see if I have that one. Ryan

56:08

Reynolds here for Mint Mobile.

56:11

The message for everyone paying

56:13

big wireless way too much.

56:15

Please for the love of

56:17

everything good in this world,

56:19

stop. With Mint you can

56:21

get premium wireless for just

56:23

$15 a month. Of course if

56:26

you enjoy overpaying, no judgments,

56:28

but that's joy overpaying.

56:30

No judgments, but that's

56:32

weird. Okay, one judgment.

56:34

Anyway, give it a

56:36

try at mintmobile.com, Okay, if

56:39

you if you rent and If

56:41

you have a modern car Then

56:43

you're never gonna know what it's

56:45

like to go put a coat

56:47

of paint on the fence in

56:49

the back or the fascia Or

56:51

fix up the thing or put

56:53

some tile down in the spare

56:55

bathroom, whatever because your renter and

56:57

you're driving a car that is

56:59

either electric or runs off computer

57:01

chips. You pop the hood, you

57:03

just see a big plastic cover.

57:05

You don't even see any moving

57:07

parts. Now, we drove

57:10

cars that you fixed

57:12

yourself, you know, and there was a lot

57:14

of like, and if you,

57:16

we lived in old houses, we

57:19

used to have chimneys. And so

57:21

we'd be like, you'd have to go fix

57:23

stuff. Like, so we didn't have any money. And

57:25

so there's like, A lot of guys that

57:27

grew up with, I mean, you know, a common

57:29

thing would be, I'd be like, what are

57:31

you doing this weekend? And they'd be like, well,

57:33

I'm going to put a set of spark

57:35

plugs in my truck, you know, I got to

57:37

get them, I got to gap them, I

57:39

got to put them in, and I'm going to

57:41

rebuild the carburetor, you know, and then that

57:43

dude would just be rebuilding his carburetor all weekend.

57:46

And there's no carburetor to rebuild

57:48

anymore. And if you're renting, so

57:50

if you're like a young person. and

57:53

you're living in Los Angeles for sure, you're

57:55

renting, because it's way too

57:57

expensive for a house, and you're

57:59

Ubering around, or you got some

58:02

Mini Cooper that's two years old

58:04

that you never, you don't even

58:06

know where the engine is on

58:08

that thing. And now you've removed

58:10

two major tactile sanity things that

58:12

you think you've avoided. You think

58:14

you avoided having to do the

58:16

spark plugs. Carb jet

58:18

the carburetor whether but you didn't

58:20

you're getting sedentary. Yeah, and your

58:23

brain started to eat itself and

58:25

I was talking to Drew about

58:27

it. I think and I was

58:29

talking to me was talking to

58:31

Jane Moore about it, but I

58:33

realized just the concept of Having

58:35

a bike that you had to

58:37

constantly work on like when I

58:39

was a kid I was constantly

58:41

fixing on ranching on my bike,

58:43

but also the concept of forts

58:45

Oh, yeah. Forts were a big

58:47

part of my childhood. It was

58:49

like digging in the dirt and

58:51

putting up, finding stuff, you know,

58:53

to act as a barrier, you

58:55

know. I'm with you, yeah. And

58:57

we built forts. Rock Wars. Yeah,

58:59

we got in every war. OK. And

59:02

we would try to do more dirt

59:04

clods. Yeah, we weren't as vicious as

59:06

you guys were. But we had dirt

59:08

clod fights big time, and we had

59:10

to build a fort in order to

59:12

protect yourself. And... It

59:14

was a thing. It was like a

59:16

thing you put yourself into. And not only

59:18

did you get the experience of building

59:20

the fort, but you're

59:23

in the dirt. Your

59:25

immune system was working because you

59:27

were shoveling through the dirt. And

59:29

so the other thing kids

59:31

don't do that we had to

59:34

do was we had to

59:36

do. We did forts and we

59:38

did models. Oh, yeah.

59:40

Kids don't do models anymore.

59:42

Model is like, take it,

59:44

take it apart. Yep. Segregate

59:46

it and label it and figure

59:48

it out. Read the instructions. Kind of

59:50

go in order. Kind of got

59:52

Minecraft now. Yeah. That's similar. That's like

59:54

what it is today. And you'd

59:56

paint the little stuff. Yeah. And you'd

59:58

get the little testers glue and

1:00:00

huff it a little bit. Yeah. A

1:00:03

little high. But it was a

1:00:05

thing. It was like a task. Yeah. You

1:00:07

know, was a big thing. So

1:00:09

between like models and forts and working

1:00:11

on your BMX bike and stuff, you're

1:00:13

pretty tacked up. Like you're good. And

1:00:16

then there's all the sports and all

1:00:18

that outdoor stuff. And now they're like,

1:00:20

I don't go outside. The sun's bad

1:00:22

for you. And there's no models anymore.

1:00:24

And there's just screens everywhere. And I

1:00:26

think kids are starting to eat their

1:00:29

own brains. And

1:00:31

they need the Eagle

1:00:33

scouts. Yeah, yeah. Where

1:00:35

is the Eagles is it easier to

1:00:37

become Eagle Scout now you're so I

1:00:39

honestly don't know I don't know if

1:00:41

they've lowered the the requirements for it

1:00:43

I just know that Something about the

1:00:45

attitude of the scouting seems to have

1:00:47

changed so I don't know what the

1:00:49

actual requirements are these days And

1:00:52

I think it does I mean

1:00:54

scouting it's basically gonna do it's essentially

1:00:56

what the Oscars did they're like

1:00:58

we want to be super inclusive We

1:01:00

want to represent all and then

1:01:02

at some point kids go. Yes. Yeah,

1:01:04

I don't want to do it

1:01:06

Yeah, I don't need to be a

1:01:08

scout. I don't need to watch

1:01:10

the Oscars because who cares? Yeah, I

1:01:12

ruined it trying to homogenize the

1:01:14

culture, you know a lot of advanced

1:01:16

cult like Japan like women are

1:01:18

proud to be women yeah and do

1:01:20

womenly duties and that's like a

1:01:22

real thing and men are happy to

1:01:24

be manly and it functions Okay.

1:01:27

Yeah. We had a system. Yeah. worked

1:01:29

pretty good. Yeah. And we tested

1:01:31

it for like, I don't know, 10

1:01:33

,000 years and it worked pretty good.

1:01:35

Yeah. And then the last 15

1:01:37

minutes, somebody had some thoughts about changing

1:01:39

the system and now everyone's fat

1:01:41

and cuts on themselves. So I

1:01:43

don't know. Maybe they knew something. Maybe

1:01:45

the old white folks knew something. That's

1:01:47

all. Speaking

1:01:49

of old white, I was

1:01:51

watching Michelle Obama. on her

1:01:53

podcast, who has this

1:01:55

weird, everything with

1:01:58

hers through some sort of racial

1:02:00

lens all the time, which

1:02:02

is just a weird, like

1:02:04

she'll say it, she'll go, well, you don't

1:02:06

know what it's like to be black and

1:02:08

be invisible. And then someone will

1:02:10

go like, well, like, what are you

1:02:12

talking about? You're the first lady or something.

1:02:14

She'll, well, the other day I was

1:02:17

buying frozen yogurt and somebody. went

1:02:19

in front of me in life. And I'm like,

1:02:21

oh yeah, that never happened to white people. It's

1:02:23

like, yeah, that's just stuff that

1:02:25

happens all the time to everybody

1:02:27

all the time. You know what

1:02:29

I mean? Like who doesn't have

1:02:32

a story about being, I remember

1:02:34

during COVID when they were doing

1:02:36

the stupid, I don't know, they

1:02:38

were gonna cure COVID by telling

1:02:40

people to stand in different places

1:02:42

or something. Like it was weird.

1:02:44

It's like at the Malibu Whole

1:02:46

Foods or whatever. And their

1:02:48

way to cure COVID was to not have

1:02:50

everyone stand in the checkout line, but

1:02:52

to form a second line that was 10

1:02:54

feet over where they just stood in

1:02:56

line. I don't know why that helped. And

1:02:58

so like I would come strolling up

1:03:00

and go, oh, there's nobody to register, you

1:03:02

know, because I'm coming from the other

1:03:04

direction. And I just go a thing. And

1:03:06

then there's like, excuse me,

1:03:09

excuse me. Excuse you. And

1:03:11

I'm like, what? There's no

1:03:13

waiting. And then I go, no, there's a line.

1:03:18

I think what it is, I think

1:03:20

the Malibu Ho Foods are smart because

1:03:22

they put their line in the hot

1:03:24

deli entree section and you couldn't stand

1:03:26

their smell and Kung Pao chicken for

1:03:28

more than five minutes. I go, let

1:03:30

me get in a little bit. I'm

1:03:32

going to add to this. Yeah, you're

1:03:34

smart. You send that hot deli with

1:03:36

all the hot dishes and you're just

1:03:38

sitting there. You can't. You cannot. You

1:03:41

got to load up. You have to load

1:03:43

up. Salad doesn't smell like

1:03:45

anything, so you can walk past that all

1:03:47

day. But the savory stuff, you're like, let

1:03:49

me get into this here. Smart.

1:03:51

OK, so she is just everything is like

1:03:53

race her. And what confused me about

1:03:55

that is I get maybe making the argument

1:03:58

that she thinks some black people have

1:04:00

to deal with that. But who sees Michelle

1:04:02

Obama at the store and is like,

1:04:04

I'm going to go butt in front of

1:04:06

First Lady Michelle Obama. She

1:04:08

says she was cut off. I

1:04:11

don't know. But this sounds

1:04:13

I just came upon this one

1:04:15

today. But so it's it's

1:04:18

it's you know, like. They're obnoxious,

1:04:20

they're grandiose, and they're narcissists,

1:04:22

supreme narcissists. And I hate them,

1:04:24

but there is a part

1:04:26

of me that feels sorry for

1:04:28

them that if this is

1:04:30

the way you go through life

1:04:32

and your Ivy League degree

1:04:35

and your... to an ex

1:04:37

president and your seven houses and

1:04:39

your five houses and your Martha's

1:04:41

Vineyard and your Hawaiian compound. If

1:04:43

that doesn't cure it, I just

1:04:45

feel bad for you. I really

1:04:47

do. You still have to walk

1:04:49

around with this racial limp. You're

1:04:52

just constantly, it's as if you

1:04:54

were like molested when you were seven

1:04:56

and you just never, it just

1:04:58

never leaves your mind. and you can't

1:05:00

do anything about it. It's just

1:05:02

this. You know what I mean? Here's

1:05:04

our clip, sorry. We don't articulate

1:05:06

as black women our pain because it's

1:05:08

almost like nobody ever gave us

1:05:10

permission to do that. And does anyone

1:05:12

care? Yeah, there's one.

1:05:15

Hold on. She should go

1:05:17

on the internet because I

1:05:19

see black women articulating their

1:05:21

pain at airports all. I

1:05:23

see black women like. and

1:05:25

airports that are very vividly

1:05:27

articulating themselves because they missed

1:05:29

the flight or somebody disrespected

1:05:31

them. So I would argue

1:05:33

that there are isolated incidents

1:05:35

of Black women expressing themselves.

1:05:37

I would say you could

1:05:39

probably use their phone. It

1:05:41

might take a while, but I could

1:05:43

probably pull up some examples of it for

1:05:45

Michelle to speak up. But then also, it's

1:05:48

not, it's... I'm

1:05:50

now at the point where I don't

1:05:52

blame the person. I blame the

1:05:55

person who sits next to him and

1:05:57

goes, because I would hit them with

1:05:59

a folding chair and go, oh, shut

1:06:01

up. You know what you're talking about.

1:06:03

You have a security detail. Like when

1:06:05

you leave the studio, which one of

1:06:07

the seven houses are you going to?

1:06:09

How about that? Let's say

1:06:11

when you're in Maui at one of

1:06:13

your compounds, can you articulate your pain there

1:06:15

or set a Barthas Vineyard? type situation.

1:06:17

Yeah. All right. So I run it again

1:06:19

just because it's always the person that

1:06:21

goes, hmm, hmm. I love the newscast. I

1:06:23

love it when they go, you know,

1:06:25

these trendy raga guys are being transported back

1:06:27

to Nicaragua, but they can come for

1:06:29

them. They can come for any of us.

1:06:32

Shut up. They're not coming

1:06:34

for you. You'll never

1:06:37

go. I'll tell you what

1:06:39

right now, I will

1:06:41

put up $100 ,000. to

1:06:43

your $40. That's

1:06:46

what I'm going to pay on if

1:06:48

you are swept up and disappeared in

1:06:50

the next five years. How about that?

1:06:52

We'll do that. You want to do

1:06:54

it? You want to take that bet?

1:06:56

Yeah. Which they wouldn't. All right. Sorry.

1:06:58

We'll play it again. We don't articulate

1:07:01

as black women our pain because it's

1:07:03

almost like nobody ever gave us permission

1:07:05

to do that. And does anyone care?

1:07:07

Yeah, there's they care. If

1:07:09

we knew, I think we would

1:07:11

care. If we knew that's a

1:07:13

brother if we knew or you

1:07:15

know, yeah, and and we have

1:07:17

to ask ourselves are the men

1:07:19

in our lives is You know

1:07:22

why wait to be asked? You

1:07:24

know, it seems like what we

1:07:26

go through is pretty obvious I

1:07:28

mean, maybe we're not complaining, but

1:07:30

we're actually living life out loud

1:07:32

You know, you know, we're in

1:07:34

some sort of nether region of

1:07:36

verbiage where I don't even know

1:07:38

what women are talking about half

1:07:40

the time. I know. Yeah. He

1:07:42

just talks. He's the

1:07:45

brother and he knows she's

1:07:47

been living in the White

1:07:49

House. I mean, you know,

1:07:51

I mean, like he's sitting

1:07:53

there. He was working at the target. She's

1:07:55

got to play the hit slow. You

1:07:57

know I mean? Yeah. Asking the Rolling Stones

1:08:00

not to play brown sugar. Yeah. Good.

1:08:02

Oh, good, good connection there. But you know,

1:08:04

the brother, you know, that

1:08:06

brother has watched her in the

1:08:08

last 20 years, right?

1:08:14

Crying a river about your

1:08:16

pain. He's going back

1:08:18

in his 92 Buick that

1:08:20

he got from Oprah. He's

1:08:23

going back to his apartment is

1:08:25

rent controlled one bedroom outside at DC.

1:08:27

Well, she gets her security detail

1:08:29

and climbs in the back a limo

1:08:31

and flies an airport Air Air

1:08:33

Force three somewhere. You know, she's like,

1:08:35

you know, he wants to jump

1:08:37

in, but he he can't say anything

1:08:39

because he wouldn't have a podcast

1:08:41

otherwise. That's

1:08:43

so good. She's our ticking. I

1:08:46

always love this thing where people are like,

1:08:48

we don't feel like we have the right to speak.

1:08:50

It's like, all you do is talk. She has a

1:08:52

podcast. That's all you do. I know. Not

1:08:55

to be fair, I am tuned out,

1:08:57

and I am not listening, and I

1:08:59

do not feel your pain. That is

1:09:01

correct, but you do talk a lot.

1:09:03

There's a lot of talking going on.

1:09:06

All right, we'll take a break. We got

1:09:08

some news, and we'll do that right after

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We've done your homework. In

1:13:05

addition to being a writer, I also have

1:13:07

two karate trophies and three weightlifting trophies, because I

1:13:09

don't know if you guys know this, but

1:13:11

you can just go to the store and buy

1:13:13

trophies. Adam Yenzer

1:13:15

is on the Adam Karola show. Adam's

1:13:17

got a very funny dry bar

1:13:19

special, not big enough to cancel, and

1:13:21

that's out. And then mine is

1:13:24

out when I would tell people where

1:13:26

to go, but it's not on

1:13:28

me. Little screen anymore, but I would

1:13:30

argue you can just leave information

1:13:32

on there for me. Yeah angel app

1:13:34

I believe it is the angel

1:13:36

apps where you can go you can

1:13:38

one is Right there. It's free.

1:13:40

You can watch my dry bar special

1:13:42

there and the others You have

1:13:44

to get the app. It's you have

1:13:46

to subscribe but one's there and

1:13:48

you can just go watch and the

1:13:50

other is behind it And you

1:13:53

know what you can buy trophies. Yeah,

1:13:55

cuz I just set them on

1:13:57

the shelf I recreated

1:13:59

a few of my trophies. I think

1:14:01

I had a girlfriend that did it

1:14:03

later on in life. She got tired

1:14:05

of hearing my story about. I

1:14:07

got trophies and unicycles because I

1:14:09

had such a hard luck. I

1:14:11

got such a hard luck story

1:14:13

about unicycles and I had a

1:14:15

hard luck story about trophies. And

1:14:18

at some point people got tired

1:14:20

of my hard luck stories and

1:14:22

started just giving me trophies. that

1:14:24

were recreations of the ones I

1:14:26

threw away or lost or whatever

1:14:28

from back in the day. So

1:14:31

that's you can you can am I

1:14:33

would get them from there was some comedy.

1:14:35

Festival or competition I did years ago

1:14:37

and they had trophies for first thing in

1:14:39

third place But they were just they

1:14:41

bought like it was like a girl softball

1:14:44

girl on top and it just says

1:14:46

you know first place Chicago World Series or

1:14:48

comedy or something So I have that

1:14:50

on my shelf just a girl softball, but

1:14:52

it's a comedy I guess at the

1:14:54

I guess at the trophy shop They don't

1:14:56

really have the comedy. Like a guy

1:14:58

with a mic or something. Yeah,

1:15:01

a dude's open the store. Yeah,

1:15:04

it appears to me that they have

1:15:06

like a comedy tragedy mask thing for

1:15:08

some sort of drama. That feels more

1:15:10

theater drama. But that's about all. I

1:15:12

would be more embarrassed of that than

1:15:14

a girl saw. Yeah, girls. How

1:15:17

do you know it was a girl?

1:15:19

Because it's got the pony thing. It's got

1:15:21

the little figure. It's got the little

1:15:23

figure on top. Oh, OK. All right, mayhem

1:15:26

news. We got some news, animals in

1:15:28

the news, a sunshine state. resident took the

1:15:30

reddit to share their frightening experience with

1:15:32

two creepy reptiles that came up to the

1:15:34

home's front door. Oh, really? All captured

1:15:36

on their family's ring camera. Are they alligators?

1:15:38

Alligators, yep, alligators there in Florida.

1:15:40

Oh, we're going to watch. Oh, they're coming.

1:15:42

Wow. Are they in the house? No, no,

1:15:45

this is in the. Oh, that's the porch.

1:15:47

porch, yeah. They're hanging out. They must be

1:15:49

looking for dog food or something. They're like,

1:15:51

what are they doing? Yeah, it's undetermined, but

1:15:53

they were out there for a while. You

1:15:55

know what I, you know, here's my thing.

1:15:57

I was thinking about this the other day.

1:16:00

We talk a lot about... know,

1:16:02

Jurassic Park and dinosaurs and stuff

1:16:04

like that. It's trying to climb

1:16:06

the wall. to get in the house. It's

1:16:09

like Jurassic Park. It's trying to

1:16:11

learn to use the handle and open

1:16:13

the door. Get smarter, clever girls.

1:16:15

Do we need dinosaurs? We have alligators.

1:16:17

Like, we have them. They get

1:16:20

up to, like, 18 foot. They've

1:16:22

outlasted dinosaurs. They were before...

1:16:24

This style of animal was popular

1:16:26

before dinosaurs and remained after.

1:16:28

That's my argument. Like, we have

1:16:30

dinosaurs. They're called alligators. They're

1:16:32

covered with scales. They're huge. They're

1:16:34

scary. They're billion years old. They'll eat

1:16:37

your pet or you. It doesn't

1:16:39

matter. Like, what do we really need

1:16:41

a dinosaur for? I

1:16:43

mean, like I said, it's cool. Like,

1:16:45

I take it. But an alligator

1:16:47

is just a dinosaur. Yeah. And

1:16:49

it predates it. Yeah, I guess. Will you

1:16:52

come down on woolly mammoths if they can

1:16:54

hook that up? I would like a pterodactyl.

1:16:56

All right, me too, yeah. Although...

1:16:58

If they bring back pterodactyls, we're

1:17:00

all gone. Birds

1:17:02

hate us already. And

1:17:04

birds are the size of a lunch

1:17:06

pail and will take you down.

1:17:08

Now, if they get the size of

1:17:10

a tractor trailer, something, we're gone.

1:17:12

You're eating french fries at the beach

1:17:14

in a pterodactyl. You'll

1:17:17

be the french fries. Yeah, you

1:17:19

are done. Best

1:17:22

I can tell, birds hate birds.

1:17:24

and they hate other birds and

1:17:26

they hate everything. They're just, they're

1:17:28

angry at every living creature. They

1:17:30

don't like cats or like dogs

1:17:32

or like people and they do

1:17:34

not like other birds. I mean,

1:17:36

I see birds, you know, the

1:17:38

hawks flying and the crows chasing

1:17:40

it and knocking at it, you

1:17:42

know, circling around and picking on

1:17:44

it. So birds hate

1:17:46

everything. They're the meanest creatures and

1:17:48

The only thing that stopped them

1:17:50

from eating us is they can't

1:17:52

physically do it, but if they

1:17:54

could, I think they would kill

1:17:56

us for sport. I think

1:17:59

even like vegan pterodactyls would take

1:18:01

us and just throw us in a

1:18:03

volcano. They're just taking people's heads

1:18:05

off. They just take people's heads off.

1:18:07

They hate people. They would hate

1:18:09

people. Yeah. All right. Cool. I

1:18:11

watched footage. I

1:18:14

don't think I even liked it, but

1:18:16

I saw a footage of a 74 -year -old

1:18:18

guy. going to a pond

1:18:20

and pull his puppy out of an alligator's

1:18:22

mouth earlier today. Yeah. Well, I saw one

1:18:24

earlier this week. I don't know if it

1:18:26

was that one. In Florida, there was some

1:18:28

guy and he was barefoot and he just

1:18:30

went out and got like a big rubber

1:18:32

maiden. trash can. Yeah. He came and got

1:18:34

the alligator himself. Yeah. Yeah. It reminded me

1:18:37

of what we were talking about earlier, where

1:18:39

it's like, oh, I could call animal control,

1:18:41

but I'll take care of it. I gotta

1:18:43

do something. I'll get the alligator. Yeah.

1:18:45

Not getting your ankle. Oh, yeah. That's

1:18:47

rolled off. This guy looked like he

1:18:50

was at a golf course, maybe. Yeah.

1:18:52

And this alligator, small alligators, got his

1:18:54

puppy. Yeah. And his mouth. Yup.

1:18:57

And he just prized his jaws. Prized

1:18:59

his jaws open. And look how

1:19:01

tough it is, and that's a tiny

1:19:03

alligator. Oh, if he ate my

1:19:05

puppy, I'd rush to the

1:19:07

pet store just to get a

1:19:10

new puppy. Like, I'm not going into

1:19:12

a swamp. That's

1:19:14

just Darwin. swamp you can't see the bottom

1:19:16

of. Yeah. Oh, he's still got

1:19:18

a cigar in his mouth? Yeah, like a boss.

1:19:20

I love this dude. Yeah, this dude is

1:19:22

pretty awesome. You know what I like about this

1:19:24

guy, though? See, he's always got a good. story.

1:19:27

Yeah. You know what I mean? Oh, yeah. And also,

1:19:29

he's going to get into it. Like, I use, I'll

1:19:31

tell you what I use. You were talking about, like,

1:19:34

task rabbit or something, you know? I

1:19:38

put a Lamborghini, a

1:19:41

vintage Mura Lamborghini, I put it

1:19:43

in my office. I just built a

1:19:45

building, designed it, built the lift,

1:19:47

put it in the office, you know?

1:19:49

And so, every once in a while, people say

1:19:51

to me, like, someone will go, like, are

1:19:54

you going to hang that bookshelf up there or

1:19:56

whatever? And I go, I'll hang it up

1:19:58

there. And then someone will go, all right, shouldn't

1:20:00

we have the task rabbit guy, like a

1:20:02

guy who knows? And I go, I put a

1:20:04

Lamborghini in my own. And then they shut

1:20:06

up. Everyone just shuts up and walks away, right?

1:20:08

Because I put a Lamborghini my own. So

1:20:11

this guy is going to be sitting around, and

1:20:13

his wife's going to be screwing with him,

1:20:15

you know? Like, Earl, why don't we let somebody

1:20:17

else re -saw it? I took that puppy out

1:20:19

of the mouth. of an

1:20:21

alligator. So you don't think I'm up to

1:20:23

saw it in the lawn? You know, well,

1:20:25

you're gonna, you don't think I'm up there.

1:20:27

Like he's got it all the time. Like

1:20:29

when, or it's like the neighbors are playing

1:20:32

the music too loud. He's going, I'm going

1:20:34

to go over there and then his wife's

1:20:36

going, don't bother. You're going to get your

1:20:38

ass kicked. Okay. I took that dog out

1:20:40

of the mouth. I went into a swamp,

1:20:42

fished an alligator out. didn't put my cigar

1:20:44

down, didn't put my cigar down, and then

1:20:46

took the puppy out of the mouth of

1:20:48

the alligator. That's the other side of

1:20:50

Florida Man. That's the Florida Man, by

1:20:53

the way. the Florida Man. He's probably got

1:20:55

that image on his home screen, on

1:20:57

his phone. Just here, remember this. I would,

1:20:59

yeah. He took a rest upon the

1:21:01

floor, he's on to the next puppy out

1:21:03

of the next mouth. Yeah, yeah, and

1:21:05

he's probably like the grandkids around, and he's

1:21:07

like, I'll make him waffles, and his

1:21:09

wife's like, you don't try to, you're gonna

1:21:11

screw, okay, remember, you're talking to the

1:21:13

guy, took the puppy out of the, of

1:21:15

the alligator. Remember that? Check the screensaver

1:21:17

on your computer. Okay, that's this eye. Without

1:21:19

put the scar. I waited in the

1:21:21

water and the cigar didn't go in. And

1:21:24

the pup, I guess, just ran away.

1:21:27

I guess. I mean, I mean, was

1:21:29

okay. This is what I'm saying. Yes.

1:21:32

All right. What else? All right. Next up,

1:21:34

uh, Kennedy plans to remove artificial dyes from

1:21:36

food and drinks by the end of next

1:21:38

year. He's Hitler. Yeah. 36

1:21:40

food dyes, nine of which

1:21:42

are artificial made from petroleum. So

1:21:44

they are completely doing away

1:21:46

with that. Uh, for companies that

1:21:48

are currently using petroleum based

1:21:50

red dye, they say try watermelon

1:21:52

juice or beet juice. Uh,

1:21:54

for companies. Currently, combining

1:21:56

petroleum -based yellow, chemical, and red

1:21:59

dyes, try carrot juice. So there's

1:22:01

alternatives that are natural. There's

1:22:03

nothing more powerful than

1:22:05

beet juice, because... I know.

1:22:08

You eat Cheetos, they're orange, but the

1:22:10

next day in the toilet, that ain't

1:22:12

orange. But beets, they'll go right

1:22:14

through. They make it all the way

1:22:16

through. They make it

1:22:18

down to the sewage treatment plant,

1:22:20

and they're still red. So you

1:22:22

can't go, you can't go better

1:22:25

and beat. You're calling your proctologists

1:22:27

just checking. Oh, well, that's

1:22:29

why I invented the beat bracelet. I

1:22:32

tell you about the beat bracelet. I'm sorry.

1:22:34

No, I missed that one. It's an old

1:22:36

joke, but I. I

1:22:38

love beets. And by the way,

1:22:40

I'll eat three beets now. It's

1:22:43

like, I'll buy a beet the

1:22:45

size of a softball, takes

1:22:47

like four hours to boil it, man.

1:22:49

But I'll get the size, I'll chop

1:22:51

that up. I'll salt it up. I'll

1:22:53

put a little vinegar, a little oil,

1:22:55

whatever. I love it. I'll eat it.

1:22:57

But the next day on the pot.

1:22:59

I forgot I ate the beef. And

1:23:02

that's where you look down and go, oh,

1:23:05

call the kids. Get our kids

1:23:07

in the room. Bring them toilet

1:23:09

side. I want to talk to them. I've got to

1:23:11

say my last word. Get my

1:23:13

practical Bible, my Tony

1:23:15

Penancey. And that note,

1:23:17

let's go. So.

1:23:22

So, I invented the beet bracelet,

1:23:24

which is when you order the

1:23:26

beet salad at the restaurant that

1:23:28

night, it comes with the beet

1:23:30

bracelet. I'm only talking about boondoggle

1:23:32

style as those beads are. I

1:23:34

call it Beats by Ace. Yeah.

1:23:36

And it's a Lance Armstrong style.

1:23:38

It's purple. Her red purple.

1:23:40

It's just a rubber band. He just

1:23:42

put it on. And then you're

1:23:44

good. Right? And

1:23:46

then you remember. Now it's funny. And

1:23:49

you would run into other people had a

1:23:51

beat bracelet like on the elevator. So you'd

1:23:53

go, hey. That's

1:23:56

funny. Yeah, it's like

1:23:58

a hospital bracelet. Also, if somebody else

1:24:01

uses the bathroom after you and they

1:24:03

wonder what happened. Yeah, he's he has

1:24:05

a condition for the day. Yeah, let

1:24:07

him give a few minutes. You don't

1:24:09

want to let it out. He's got

1:24:11

to be bracelet. Yeah. Yeah,

1:24:13

they're doing away with the

1:24:15

artificial dyes by the end of

1:24:17

next year. Good. And who

1:24:19

cares? And also what I don't

1:24:22

I don't have any. There's

1:24:25

nothing. From

1:24:27

my mom who was like

1:24:29

original health food hippie When they

1:24:32

had like health food stores

1:24:34

and stuff and it was like

1:24:36

weird and everything was sort

1:24:38

of off Market like it wasn't

1:24:40

a trend, you know, but

1:24:42

The only thing that ever stuck

1:24:44

with me in terms of

1:24:46

her but it was also just

1:24:48

who I was is I

1:24:50

didn't like fake stuff like I

1:24:52

never I'd see kids Young

1:24:54

kids and they'd be eating craft

1:24:56

singles of cheese, you know, and they'd

1:24:58

be they drinking sunny D, you

1:25:00

know, and I'd go You got any

1:25:02

real orange juice? I go sunny

1:25:05

D. It's better. You know, I don't

1:25:07

know. It's not it's weird It's

1:25:09

weird and I go you got any

1:25:11

got any cheddar cheese and I

1:25:13

go we got cheese Kraft cheese and

1:25:15

I go yeah. No, it's weird.

1:25:17

I it's weird. It's a and what

1:25:19

they've done to nachos I mean

1:25:21

I see people it's weird I was

1:25:24

at the dry bar and the

1:25:26

people I was in the room with,

1:25:28

Mike Augustine, anything, but they'll go

1:25:30

like, we'll get some nachos. I'm like,

1:25:33

nachos needs cheese to melt on

1:25:35

it, not a pump station. Like

1:25:37

that, that's this color. Yeah. Yes.

1:25:39

It's all weird, day glow, whatever. And

1:25:42

it, and it never melts and it doesn't

1:25:44

need to be heated. And it comes in a

1:25:46

bag and you pump it. I

1:25:48

was like, No. And they're

1:25:50

like, you don't like nachos?

1:25:52

I like nachos, but the

1:25:55

chips are round. That's

1:25:57

not a normal shape for a

1:25:59

chip. And the cheese is liquid,

1:26:01

and it's sitting in the back.

1:26:03

And no. And they're like, we

1:26:05

like nachos. But those

1:26:08

aren't nachos. They're not nachos.

1:26:10

And also. We

1:26:12

don't give the right name

1:26:14

because when you're at the ballpark

1:26:16

or the whatever and someone

1:26:18

goes, you like not even get

1:26:21

some nodding. Yeah, I love

1:26:23

nachos. But not this. These aren't

1:26:25

nachos. These are fake chemical

1:26:27

weird nachos that dumb people have

1:26:29

to taste good over generations.

1:26:31

And. Fake orange juice

1:26:33

tastes weird fake cheese take fake

1:26:35

everything orange everything blue and stuff

1:26:37

like why you yeah stuff weird

1:26:39

red red number three which gives

1:26:41

the food and drinks a cherry

1:26:44

color. It's a bright I like

1:26:46

Jimmy's I don't even like Jimmy's I can't

1:26:48

send someone out to buy doughnuts and have

1:26:50

come back with normal doughnuts all red white

1:26:53

blue with the sparklers on top and the

1:26:55

gay flag and stuff and I'm like I

1:26:57

It does. It tastes weird. Why are

1:27:00

you doing this? Why are you

1:27:02

putting much of non nature colors in

1:27:04

your food and then in chess?

1:27:06

Don't I was cream filled. So.

1:27:09

And I guess maybe I don't know. Maybe it's. I

1:27:11

don't know what the reason is if it's a

1:27:13

price thing or whatever, but it's always weird when they

1:27:15

say they're replacing it. It's like, or you can

1:27:17

use carrots. There's always some. Right. Why

1:27:20

did you go to petroleum when

1:27:22

it was where you could use

1:27:24

something that's not petroleum? It's just

1:27:26

cheaper and whatever. There's Dawson. There's

1:27:28

a bag of chips back there.

1:27:31

There's a bag of chip in the

1:27:33

chip basket back there that was. donated

1:27:37

after the fire. I got some sort

1:27:39

of emergency bucket or something that had junk

1:27:41

in it. I don't know.

1:27:43

It had like a snake bite kid,

1:27:46

a mask and chips or something

1:27:48

from the local, whatever that is. Yeah.

1:27:50

Can you hold that up? Let

1:27:52

me see what that is. Yeah. Throw

1:27:54

it in here. I have some

1:27:56

rain here because I stared at this

1:27:58

chip. It's the wrong colors. It's

1:28:00

stuff as a color. Yeah. You know

1:28:02

what I mean? Like it's weird.

1:28:04

It's like, look, if you're a Corvette,

1:28:06

you're a Corvette. You can do

1:28:08

whatever color you want, but there's Chips

1:28:10

and this this chip bag. I

1:28:12

just kept staring at it going. These

1:28:14

are the wrong. Oh, wow. These

1:28:16

are the wrong colors It looks the

1:28:18

chips look blue and it's called

1:28:20

blue heat, but they're chips I was

1:28:22

scared to open it like I

1:28:24

was like this looks like Cleaning pods

1:28:26

come in here, but not stuff

1:28:28

you put your mouth. Yeah, and it's

1:28:30

called blue heat and I guess

1:28:32

they're They're blue. I

1:28:34

now I want to know

1:28:37

so I'm gonna open it

1:28:39

potatoes vegetable oil canola Every

1:28:41

oh everything all the time.

1:28:43

Oh, yeah. Yeah, they're blue.

1:28:45

I don't wanna weird but

1:28:47

why why and then here's

1:28:49

the other thing to What's

1:28:51

appetizing about blue like and

1:28:54

in people do this stuff

1:28:56

all the time to go

1:28:59

It's fun I don't know okay,

1:29:01

so a porterhouse steak may

1:29:03

not be fun, but it's good

1:29:05

with white put a little

1:29:07

red three on it's way more

1:29:09

fun I People disappointed also

1:29:12

found out that they use

1:29:14

a citrus red number two to

1:29:16

make oranges like more orange

1:29:18

It's all marketing like I get

1:29:20

it I get people to

1:29:22

draw their eye to the groceries

1:29:24

and grab I I get

1:29:26

it. It's bad. He's right I

1:29:28

don't know what's going on.

1:29:30

Everyone's fat. Everyone's depressed. Everyone's on

1:29:32

pharmaceuticals. Everyone has on the

1:29:35

spectrum for something. And something's

1:29:37

going on. So let him do it,

1:29:39

everybody. And leave him alone. I mean,

1:29:41

for Christ's sake, just leave the guy

1:29:43

alone. He's trying to do something. By

1:29:45

the way. I just had

1:29:47

four years of watching he she's tell

1:29:49

us about pronouns who did nothing. You

1:29:51

guys did nothing. So I don't know.

1:29:53

I know you're all upset that Elon's

1:29:55

trying to do something in our case.

1:29:57

I know I know you hate seeing

1:30:00

people do stuff, but you guys were

1:30:02

like my mom and the chimney. Just

1:30:04

here we are. Nothing we

1:30:06

can do. Just homeless and traffic.

1:30:08

And here we go. So OK,

1:30:10

someone's trying to do something. And

1:30:12

I realize. It's

1:30:14

upsetting to the process people when you actually show

1:30:16

up and go, what's going on? What are we

1:30:19

doing? They go, what are we doing? We're having

1:30:21

a meeting about a meeting with a meeting. And

1:30:23

you go, I know, I know, but let's go

1:30:25

on. Let's get the chimney going. My mom would

1:30:27

literally get agitated if you like showed up and

1:30:29

went, what's going on? What are we doing here?

1:30:31

Let's get going here. You know, like when I

1:30:33

stood up and I was like, give me the

1:30:35

hair dryer, hold my beer. Everyone's

1:30:37

like, where's he going with the hair dryer?

1:30:39

No, he's fixing the pianos. But I guess

1:30:41

I was shaming all of them and they

1:30:43

didn't like it. But that's

1:30:46

where we're at now. We're going to do stuff.

1:30:48

Blue flames are the hottest

1:30:51

followed by white after that

1:30:53

yellow, orange, and red. There's

1:30:55

a chip. Oh, that's why

1:30:57

the chips are named that. The hottest of

1:30:59

the hot. OK. Not

1:31:03

everything needs. to be

1:31:05

categorized or marked up or

1:31:07

whatever the blue flame. I

1:31:10

agree with you on all this. I'm self

1:31:12

conscious now about doing the Michelle Obama nod to

1:31:14

what when you're like, what's happened to not. You

1:31:17

know, what else is

1:31:19

a blue flame, right?

1:31:22

Hmm. Fart. Yeah. Blue

1:31:24

flame special. Yeah. A

1:31:27

lowly miss epidemic is

1:31:29

the blue flame was

1:31:31

the name. of

1:31:34

the vehicle that had

1:31:36

the world's salt flat

1:31:38

speed record from the

1:31:40

six late 60s early

1:31:42

70s. I think that

1:31:44

rocket car was called

1:31:46

the blue flame. I

1:31:48

think you're right. think you can look you

1:31:50

can look it up. But I think it

1:31:52

was called the blue flame. But I got

1:31:54

to think about that. Maybe Craig breed love

1:31:56

or something. God,

1:31:59

that's a curse, isn't it? What's that?

1:32:02

your husband is obsessed

1:32:04

with the land speed

1:32:06

record and he's in

1:32:08

the garage every waking

1:32:10

moment welding. Right?

1:32:12

Tinkering on all day. Yeah. Is

1:32:15

it called the blue flame? Yeah, it was called the

1:32:17

blue flame. Yeah, it was called the blue flame. These

1:32:20

poor wives. I

1:32:22

think the guy, Craig

1:32:24

Breedlove, I don't know, is that Craig

1:32:26

Breedlove who did it? He built the

1:32:28

blue flame. I think even to the

1:32:30

blue flame. I can't remember but He

1:32:32

built it in his garage and like

1:32:34

our leader who's just out there all

1:32:36

that and and it was so big

1:32:38

That in order to take it out

1:32:40

they had to like take out a

1:32:42

shrub and a wall or something I'm

1:32:44

like saying his wife. What kind of

1:32:46

mood was she? You know what I

1:32:48

mean? There's no money in

1:32:51

it. There's no there's no anything

1:32:53

It's just you get obsessed with

1:32:55

this thing that will probably kill

1:32:57

you one day Oh,

1:32:59

this is driven by Gary Galgabalic

1:33:01

and achieved the World Land

1:33:03

Speed Record in Bonneville, Salt Flats,

1:33:05

Utah in October 1970. So

1:33:07

right about the time my chimney

1:33:09

was coming down. He was

1:33:12

taking down the record. And I

1:33:14

was a little kid going,

1:33:16

that blue flame, look at that.

1:33:18

Man, that is cool. It

1:33:20

was on TV. Probably on Wide

1:33:22

World of Sports. I mean, he.

1:33:27

I mean, this is

1:33:29

1970, and I think this

1:33:31

guy got up to 500 something miles

1:33:33

an hour with this thing. I don't know

1:33:35

if he broke, I don't think he

1:33:37

broke the sound barrier, but he was. His

1:33:39

cheeks were flapping. Well, the speed, I

1:33:41

would include the speed in this little dissertation,

1:33:44

Andrew, just because that's what you're

1:33:46

doing, 630 miles

1:33:48

an hour. Wow, there

1:33:50

you go. Whoa. 1970 all

1:33:52

analog man no computers

1:33:54

just a jet that's three

1:33:56

wheels that's crazed right

1:33:58

yeah And also the thing

1:34:00

that's funny, she's probably

1:34:02

wearing a 1970s open face

1:34:04

helmet. OK, don't forget

1:34:06

your helmet. Yeah, OK. Well,

1:34:09

if the tire blows or

1:34:11

coyote runs out. At 630. Even

1:34:14

if it's a shade under 630.

1:34:16

Let's just say we're in the high

1:34:18

five. I'm not sure this wisp of

1:34:20

fiberglass with the foam rubber in it.

1:34:22

I don't really think. I'd rather look

1:34:25

cool stepping out of this thing. Yeah.

1:34:28

Yeah. So that was. Oh,

1:34:32

hold on. Kilometers,

1:34:35

whatever, speed, FAA. So the

1:34:37

vehicle set FIA world record

1:34:39

for the flying quarter mile. You

1:34:42

gotta do it twice, too. You gotta go one

1:34:44

way and you gotta come back, too. So,

1:34:46

you know, it's not a lark

1:34:48

or something. But anyway, I

1:34:51

can't tell what this is, but,

1:34:53

oh, it's the, yeah, the flying. Kilometer

1:34:55

anyway 630 miles an hour not

1:34:57

too bad not bad at all now

1:34:59

they're up around a thousand really

1:35:02

they're trying to break a thousand miles

1:35:04

an hour British what does that

1:35:06

machine look like you know as it's

1:35:08

I imagine the design has to

1:35:10

be similar has to be low yeah

1:35:12

that one the new one has

1:35:15

four wheels And the last

1:35:17

one was like in the mid or later 90s.

1:35:19

And I don't know, they got up to

1:35:21

like eight or 900 miles an hour. And

1:35:23

they're gonna try to break

1:35:25

a thousand, but I don't

1:35:27

know that they have a

1:35:29

space to do it in

1:35:31

because the salt flats have

1:35:33

like eroded or flooded or

1:35:35

whatever that thing is, which

1:35:38

is, yeah, 763

1:35:40

miles an hour

1:35:42

in 97. That's

1:35:46

about It's about as far

1:35:48

like the only there it is like

1:35:50

the only stand I would ever take for

1:35:52

climate change would be who's gonna set

1:35:54

world speed right? I don't

1:35:56

care about any of the crap you

1:35:58

guys were talking about but I

1:36:00

do need I do need space to

1:36:03

set a record Yeah, that's just

1:36:05

an engine. Oh my goodness. Yeah, they

1:36:07

look like Looney Tunes wacky racer

1:36:09

Yeah, this guy was a British pilot

1:36:11

the British have it so we

1:36:13

don't have the speed record Nice

1:36:16

to get it back. Yeah. All

1:36:18

right, Adam and Mayhem.

1:36:21

We got Jordan Harmon

1:36:23

who runs Angel Studios

1:36:25

who's waiting for us

1:36:27

in the wings. So,

1:36:30

well, you guys can hang out. We'll just

1:36:32

take a quick break and we'll talk to

1:36:34

Jordan right after this. Morgan

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and Morgan. Here's a dirty little

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Adam Corolla comes clean now available

1:40:52

from Angel Studios. I was

1:40:54

pulling off the freeway. I

1:40:56

was at a stoplight and

1:40:58

I looked over and there was

1:41:01

a homeless guy and he's

1:41:03

just sitting there and he

1:41:05

had a sign that said

1:41:07

homeless and deaf and I thought

1:41:09

I've never seen that before.

1:41:12

I kind of looked at him and I started to

1:41:14

think like okay normally it's like I'm not gonna give

1:41:16

you money so you can go buy

1:41:18

drugs. But this guy's deaf, you know? And

1:41:20

maybe he has a real situation. And

1:41:23

he kind of looked at the guy and

1:41:25

he looked at me. OK. And he

1:41:27

came over and rolled the window down. And

1:41:29

I started fishing around my ashtray, get

1:41:31

a few bucks out for the guy. And

1:41:33

I thought, let's

1:41:35

just check something real

1:41:37

quick. And

1:41:44

I just leaned on the horn

1:41:46

and this guy jumped back five feet.

1:41:48

I was like, you ain't deaf

1:41:50

and I ain't dumb. Watch

1:41:52

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1:41:55

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1:41:57

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1:42:08

through Angel Studios. Let's

1:42:10

get back to the Adam Corolla show. Co

1:42:12

-founder of Angel Studios,

1:42:15

Jordan Harmon has joined

1:42:17

us from your studio,

1:42:19

right? Your facility. Yeah,

1:42:21

here in Provo, Provo,

1:42:23

Utah. It's a

1:42:25

really beautiful place. It's

1:42:27

a great place that you guys set

1:42:29

up over there. And it's nice. You

1:42:32

bought a few buildings, right? You built

1:42:34

it out. You

1:42:36

do a lot of... All the dry

1:42:38

bars are shot there, is that correct?

1:42:40

Yeah, everything shot there from dry bar.

1:42:43

That stage has been seen

1:42:45

billions of times. Yeah,

1:42:47

it's nice because they

1:42:49

don't strike it. Everything

1:42:52

in Hollywood, you kind of build it and

1:42:54

then you strike it, then you put it back

1:42:56

and then you strike it down again. But

1:42:58

this, all the lighting, all

1:43:00

of the technology and the sound and

1:43:02

everything, it's all just there in this building

1:43:04

that I don't know if it was

1:43:06

an old theater. I don't know what that

1:43:08

building was. Well, it

1:43:10

was originally like a bar

1:43:12

with a stage for

1:43:14

kind of performances and whatnot.

1:43:17

And then it kind of rotated through a couple of ownership.

1:43:19

And then we kind of got a hold of it, cleaned

1:43:21

it up, gutted it out, and

1:43:24

launched our first show, which was

1:43:26

Drive Our Comedy. And man, it's

1:43:28

been a wild ride since 2016

1:43:30

doing that. I

1:43:32

really like how you guys

1:43:34

have sort of upset

1:43:36

the system. As

1:43:38

somebody who hated the system and

1:43:40

sort of was punished by the

1:43:43

system and sort of worked outside

1:43:45

of the system, I'm just

1:43:47

so happy to hear

1:43:49

stories and there's a lot

1:43:51

of them now of

1:43:53

people, personalities and companies and

1:43:55

stuff that sort of

1:43:57

went around the system because

1:43:59

the system relies on

1:44:01

basically having a monopoly. And

1:44:04

so they force and

1:44:06

scare and cajole people into

1:44:08

their system who don't

1:44:10

agree with it, but they're

1:44:12

scared. And that's the

1:44:14

thing I hated about the system. coming

1:44:18

up to me on on sets

1:44:20

and like whispering that they agreed with

1:44:22

me about stuff and looking over

1:44:24

their shoulder like they're moranos back in

1:44:26

the day like I'm Jewish but

1:44:28

I'm scared I don't want people to

1:44:30

know I don't want to be

1:44:32

gathered up and brought somewhere and it's

1:44:35

sad and that's so It's

1:44:37

so un -American what they force

1:44:39

these people into, and it's the

1:44:41

people who never stop complaining about

1:44:43

McCarthyism that scared everyone for their

1:44:46

jobs. And so, God bless

1:44:48

people like you. Man,

1:44:50

and the byproduct of that is

1:44:52

you end up with the weird, you

1:44:55

know, kind of Harvey Weinstein type situations

1:44:57

that were allowed to continue for so long,

1:44:59

because it was just scared to talk

1:45:01

about anything. But, I mean, the

1:45:03

way the system can excel, and the

1:45:05

reason we're, you know... So one of

1:45:07

the things I want to tell you

1:45:09

today is your next special is live

1:45:11

right now. So

1:45:14

people, yeah, people can watch it

1:45:16

right now. And the reason this

1:45:18

is possible that because the first

1:45:20

one did well and we want

1:45:22

to continue to have Angel Guild

1:45:24

members not only sign up and

1:45:26

support this incredible stand up comedy.

1:45:29

But the more people that we

1:45:31

have do this, then Adam's special

1:45:33

number three and four. And I

1:45:35

would love for this to be

1:45:37

a constant opportunity for not just

1:45:39

Adam. But other stand -up comedians who

1:45:41

want to break into an industry

1:45:43

and want to have meaningful impact

1:45:46

in terms of like getting their

1:45:48

comedy out there And so yeah,

1:45:50

you can actually go to Adam.com

1:45:52

or angel.com slash I believe it's

1:45:54

what's the URL? It's Adam Corolla

1:45:56

You get 50 % off your

1:45:58

first three months of the angel

1:46:00

guild membership when you do this

1:46:03

You are supporting Adam's show his

1:46:05

special which is comes cleaner But

1:46:08

the but I just want I just

1:46:11

want your audience to understand that like

1:46:13

the only way this is possible is

1:46:15

if they continue to support this type

1:46:17

of alternative mechanism. Otherwise, these alternative mechanisms

1:46:19

dry up and you've got to make

1:46:21

sure that we support stand up like

1:46:23

what Adam's doing. You guys support this

1:46:25

first one. Let's buckle down and support

1:46:27

a second one in a huge way

1:46:29

and just get it to be bigger

1:46:31

and bigger and bigger. Amen,

1:46:33

brother. And that's coming from an atheist.

1:46:37

So I do. I liked

1:46:39

I liked everything about Provo.

1:46:41

I love it's clean. It's

1:46:43

it's beautiful. The mountains are

1:46:45

beautiful. Like it was just

1:46:47

I found it to be literally

1:46:49

like a breath of fresh air.

1:46:51

Like it just smells better. It's

1:46:54

a little tough getting that drink

1:46:56

after the show, you know. I

1:46:58

like to have a cocktail after.

1:47:00

Yeah, you're not getting that a

1:47:02

dry bar. After the show. But

1:47:04

other than that, other than that

1:47:06

and the nachos, we got to work

1:47:09

on the nachos. Nate,

1:47:12

Nate, you're behind the screen

1:47:14

over there nachos improve the nachos.

1:47:16

Yeah, come out of

1:47:18

a squeeze bottle. It's got

1:47:20

to be melted cheese. Let's

1:47:22

work on that. But other

1:47:24

than that, a great experience.

1:47:26

And I've also found and

1:47:28

I found this to be

1:47:30

very true from dealing with

1:47:32

the daily wire. I'm not

1:47:34

used to young people being

1:47:36

respectful and nice and courteous

1:47:38

and helpful and friendly. I'm

1:47:40

used to them being sort

1:47:42

of standoffish and weird and

1:47:44

suspicious and sort of... gotten

1:47:47

rid of the hierarchy of life.

1:47:49

There's nobody in charge anymore. No

1:47:51

one's your boss. There's no elderly.

1:47:53

There's no generals. Everyone's just a

1:47:55

private. Or everyone's a general. I

1:47:57

think that's the way works. think

1:48:00

it's everyone's a general. Right. And

1:48:02

so kids' attitudes are horrible, and

1:48:04

they suck. And there's nothing worse

1:48:06

than Hollywood kids. just

1:48:08

the attitude of young people in this town. But

1:48:10

you go to the Daily Wire. Or

1:48:12

you go to Angel Studios and

1:48:14

oh, oh, it's different. It's a different

1:48:17

attitude with younger people there. They

1:48:19

have a respect and it's palpable. Like

1:48:21

you kind of notice it when

1:48:23

you walk in. And I

1:48:25

don't know if it's just baked

1:48:27

into kind of a conservatism or

1:48:29

where or if it's coached up,

1:48:31

but it is different. Yeah,

1:48:33

that's a good question. You

1:48:35

know, I think I wish I

1:48:37

could say that that was just

1:48:39

like. inherently part of the Utah

1:48:42

culture because I've seen my fair

1:48:44

share of like disrespect inside of

1:48:46

every culture. But there

1:48:48

is something unique inside of the

1:48:50

angel culture in the company and that

1:48:52

one of the things that we've

1:48:54

really tried really hard on is to

1:48:56

find people who we call it

1:48:58

a founder's mentality, people who are thinking

1:49:00

about angel as if it was

1:49:02

their company. And so we've actually built

1:49:04

an incentive structure where as we

1:49:06

grow to a multi -billion, even to

1:49:08

a $10 billion plus company, hopefully in

1:49:10

the years to come, that we're

1:49:12

doing massive bonuses similar to the Elon

1:49:14

Musk bonus plan that he did

1:49:16

for himself, where he grew the company

1:49:18

to $10 billion, and he got

1:49:21

a billion -dollar bonus, and then he

1:49:23

grew it to $60 billion and then

1:49:25

to $600 billion. And so he

1:49:27

was able to structure those things. And so we've done

1:49:29

something similar, but instead of it just going to

1:49:31

us as founders. We're actually trying to

1:49:33

distribute that among all the employees to have everybody kind

1:49:35

of recalibrate their mind and say, hey, how do

1:49:37

we have a founder's mentality? And

1:49:39

I think that's attracting a

1:49:41

different type of person because they're

1:49:43

coming in. We've got

1:49:45

employees that are mid to low level

1:49:48

employees that really could be founders of

1:49:50

their own company. But they believe in

1:49:52

what we're doing. They believe in the

1:49:54

mission. They want to change

1:49:56

the entertainment space. And we're

1:49:58

giving them an upside opportunity that

1:50:01

I think it's causing a different level of

1:50:03

maturity. And at least that's my hypothesis. It

1:50:06

works. And what was, I

1:50:08

know the story is interesting behind

1:50:10

Angel and then maybe into

1:50:12

Drybar as well. So it's just

1:50:14

sort of walk us through

1:50:16

the early iterations. Yeah,

1:50:18

because when we started this a

1:50:20

little over 11 years ago, four

1:50:23

brothers and a cousin in my

1:50:25

brother's basement. And we've got a

1:50:27

lot of kids. We're now at,

1:50:29

my parents have Nine children

1:50:31

among all of us and among

1:50:33

the nine children. There's already 60

1:50:35

grandkids So it's it's a it's

1:50:37

a house full and so it

1:50:39

was one of those things where

1:50:41

we were seeing the entertainment space

1:50:43

and how quickly We felt like

1:50:45

it was distancing itself from the

1:50:48

audience from what the audience would

1:50:50

actually want. This is back in

1:50:52

you know, 2012 13 And so

1:50:54

we decided hey, what if we

1:50:56

can create a group of like -minded

1:50:58

individuals who want entertainment

1:51:00

that represents what they feel

1:51:02

is important for their family. And

1:51:05

so we created what was called VidAngel

1:51:07

at the time, which was a filtering service

1:51:09

that allowed parents to basically take control

1:51:11

and say, hey, I want to skip any

1:51:13

graphic violence for my kids, or I

1:51:15

want to skip the F word or whatever

1:51:18

it may be. And

1:51:20

then we blew up. I

1:51:22

mean, it blew up to, and

1:51:24

by 2015, 2016, we

1:51:26

were growing at a faster rate than what

1:51:28

Netflix was at a similar time and space. And

1:51:31

the goal was to build up a

1:51:33

large audience around this service and then launch

1:51:35

original content. And we

1:51:38

weren't planning to launch original content

1:51:40

yet, but... Warner Brothers 20th Century

1:51:42

Fox and Lucas Films sent us

1:51:44

a lovely note in 2016 basically

1:51:46

saying, hey, we're suing you guys. I

1:51:48

think they could see the writing on the wall

1:51:50

of what we were actually going for and that

1:51:52

we were coming to be a competitor in their

1:51:55

space. And so we ended up in this long

1:51:57

arduous four and a half year legal battle with

1:51:59

them trying to just survive. But one of the

1:52:01

things we did right at the beginning is we

1:52:03

said, hey, we're going to launch the studio business.

1:52:06

The first show is going to be dry bar comedy. That was

1:52:08

the first show. And And but

1:52:10

in order for us to survive

1:52:12

this, um, we have to

1:52:14

raise some capital and no one wanted to

1:52:16

touch us for obvious reasons. Like no, no

1:52:18

VCs like, yeah, you're in lawsuit with Disney.

1:52:20

Let me just throw some money at that.

1:52:23

That makes sense. And so we went to

1:52:25

our audience and just said, Hey, let's, you

1:52:27

know, you're asking us to fight this. They're

1:52:29

literally donating to us at this time. We

1:52:31

had like $300 ,000 of donations in five months,

1:52:33

which sounds like a lot, but that's like

1:52:35

two weeks of legal fees. And

1:52:38

so we launched this regulation crowdfunding

1:52:40

round where we allowed for people to

1:52:42

come invest, be equity holders and

1:52:44

angel. This was a law that had

1:52:46

just been passed that year. It's

1:52:48

one of the great laws that Obama passed.

1:52:52

And we raised $10

1:52:54

million in five days. and

1:52:56

it just blew our socks off. And so

1:52:58

we took five million to fight the legal

1:53:00

battle, and we took five million of which the

1:53:02

first money was to start Dry Bar Comedy.

1:53:04

And now that's launched into all of our

1:53:06

original content around, obviously, the first

1:53:08

three seasons of The Chosen, Tunnel Twins,

1:53:11

The Wing Feather Saga, Sound of Freedom, which came

1:53:13

out in theaters in 2023 and was a huge

1:53:15

box office hit. Homestead, which

1:53:17

came out in December, was another big box

1:53:19

office hit, and King of Kings, which is...

1:53:22

there, which is the box office right now

1:53:24

and has been been a big hit just

1:53:26

past 50 million the box office. And so

1:53:28

this studio business, you know, we got here

1:53:30

in a weird way. We ended up

1:53:32

settling with Disney in 2020, and which

1:53:34

was for us was a miracle. You

1:53:36

know, survival was a win

1:53:38

for us. And so we're just

1:53:40

honored to be creating a

1:53:42

model that is allowing for timeless

1:53:45

art to have timeless residuals.

1:53:47

This R -stream model is really

1:53:49

baking into an ecosystem where if

1:53:51

you go watch Adam Carolla

1:53:53

on Angel, he's getting paid. With

1:53:55

Netflix, you get one -time fees or you

1:53:58

get one -time licenses, and then they'll take all

1:54:00

the upside of how big or small it

1:54:02

gets. And so the bigger we get as

1:54:04

a membership, the more royalties that

1:54:06

are going out to these filmmakers, these stand

1:54:08

-up comedians, and everybody. Yeah,

1:54:10

it's great. And artists,

1:54:12

I think, sometimes have

1:54:14

to pretend like it's all about

1:54:16

the art, you know. And guys,

1:54:19

comedians will never talk about

1:54:21

corporate gigs. They'll do corporate

1:54:23

gigs, but they don't talk about

1:54:25

corporate gigs. And my thing is

1:54:27

like, hey. I did this podcast

1:54:29

for free for the first year.

1:54:31

I spent my own money because

1:54:33

bandwidth was expensive back then, and

1:54:36

it cost me thousands a month. I

1:54:38

did it for free, but I also

1:54:40

wanted to get paid at some point.

1:54:42

When I was a carpenter, I wanted

1:54:45

to get paid. I would not come

1:54:47

build you a house if you didn't

1:54:49

pay me. And now I'm a comedian,

1:54:51

and I want to get paid. And

1:54:53

it doesn't mean You

1:54:55

know, I don't think it makes you

1:54:57

less of an artist. Like I would

1:54:59

do it and I do tons of

1:55:01

stuff for free, tons of stand up

1:55:04

for free. All comedians do. But but

1:55:06

ultimately, you got to keep the lights

1:55:08

on, you know. And so that that's

1:55:10

fine. I don't I feel like sometimes

1:55:12

it's some sort of naughty little artist's

1:55:14

secret. Like, I'm really not doing this

1:55:16

for money. Like, yes, yes, you are.

1:55:19

And that's good. And it doesn't it

1:55:21

doesn't affect. the material or

1:55:23

the process or the outcome, you

1:55:25

know what I mean? Yeah,

1:55:27

timeless art deserves timeless

1:55:29

residuals. Yes, I agree. If

1:55:32

you can create a piece of

1:55:34

art that just has massive reach and

1:55:36

impact on the world and is

1:55:38

generating massive amounts of revenue, the artists

1:55:41

who created that, that use their

1:55:43

blood, sweat, and tears to get that

1:55:45

into the world, deserve timeless residuals,

1:55:47

and that's what we're trying to create.

1:55:49

Yes. I don't know if we'll

1:55:51

count my stand -up specials as timeless

1:55:54

art, but... a couple of good

1:55:56

bits in there. There are a couple

1:55:58

of sixes in there. They're

1:56:00

good 50 years from now out of some

1:56:03

kids going to be watching something on the

1:56:05

angel gill and be like, man, this is

1:56:07

so good. Oh, come your

1:56:09

mouth, the God's ears. Yeah,

1:56:11

well, you guys asked me if

1:56:13

I wanted to do it, and

1:56:15

I tell everybody all the time,

1:56:17

because they go, Why'd you

1:56:19

do dancing with the stars? And I

1:56:21

go, because somebody asked me, and it

1:56:24

scared me. And as soon

1:56:26

as I got scared, I went, oh,

1:56:28

now I have to do it. That

1:56:30

the rule is if it sounds

1:56:32

scary, then I'll do

1:56:34

it. And also there was

1:56:36

like, you know, I did

1:56:38

a professional Trans Am car

1:56:40

race in a crazy fire -breathing

1:56:42

800 horsepower Corvette once. And

1:56:45

it's just because somebody asked me, like they

1:56:47

went, you want to do a professional transcend

1:56:49

race? And I was like, uh, that sounds scary.

1:56:52

Okay, I'll do it. So but there's something

1:56:54

to that. I mean, there's nothing to

1:56:56

that one of the big characteristics of successful

1:56:58

people that they've studies is resilience the

1:57:00

ability to go and say hey, you know,

1:57:02

I'm gonna go try something super challenging

1:57:04

I was with my son this way so

1:57:06

tell my kids all the time. We

1:57:08

were at a hot springs in Utah and

1:57:10

it's still pretty cold up in the

1:57:12

mountains in Utah and and across the road.

1:57:14

There's this there's this river that's

1:57:16

just literally run off from the snow

1:57:18

melt right in the winter. So it's

1:57:20

freezing. And we get over there. The

1:57:22

water level is high. My son's nine

1:57:25

years old. I jump in freezing cold

1:57:27

jump out. He touches his toe. He's

1:57:29

like, no, I can't do it. I'm

1:57:31

like, Brig, you can do hard things.

1:57:33

Yeah, like you can do that. And

1:57:35

he jumped in, he's about ready to

1:57:37

cry, and he comes swimming out. But

1:57:39

at the end of the day, he

1:57:41

proved to himself he could do something

1:57:43

that was hard. And we're missing that

1:57:45

of parents telling their kids, hey, that's

1:57:47

hard. You can do a hard thing.

1:57:49

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1:57:53

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1:58:25

It's kind of a feminization of our

1:58:28

culture where it's like the woman

1:58:30

would be the one going don't it's

1:58:32

freezing get away from me I

1:58:34

literally had I made that deal with

1:58:36

my son when he was young

1:58:38

with cold water. It's it's weird not

1:58:40

new John lock and But I

1:58:42

had a freezing swimming pool the back

1:58:45

and I got in the freezing

1:58:47

swimming pool every single day and swam

1:58:49

underwater and I my son was

1:58:51

like missing some grit, you know because

1:58:53

he's raised in bubble wrap that

1:58:55

had Perel injected into it. We wrapped

1:58:57

it with bubble wrap and then

1:58:59

we took a hose and we pumped

1:59:02

Perel into it. And all the

1:59:04

teachers, they're like, we can't speak down

1:59:06

to kids now. We gotta be

1:59:08

at their level so they'll lay on

1:59:10

the ground and they're like, hey,

1:59:12

are you okay? Do you consent to

1:59:14

this conversation? I am so

1:59:16

square and so old. I walked in my

1:59:19

daughter's class. I'll tell you about the

1:59:21

pool, but I walked in my daughter's class

1:59:23

once when she was like. I don't

1:59:25

know, two parent day or something. And

1:59:27

the teacher's like 26 -year -old chick with

1:59:29

a nose stud. She

1:59:31

had her Starbucks big dome cup because

1:59:33

you know she had to have whipped cream

1:59:35

on everything. And her name was written

1:59:37

in facing out to the class and was

1:59:39

like hey you want to turn that. You

1:59:42

know when I was a kid you found

1:59:44

out the teacher's first name it was over. It

1:59:47

was done. It was done.

1:59:49

It was weird too. Like you're like. So

1:59:54

weird. It was weird. Just

1:59:57

finding out that Mr. Back has

1:59:59

had a first name which is

2:00:01

not. So I don't know why

2:00:03

that was so weird, but I

2:00:05

was like you better turn that

2:00:07

cup in and she goes. Oh,

2:00:09

they all called me by my

2:00:11

first name. Yeah That's what happened

2:00:13

that's what that's what happened the

2:00:15

decline of Western civilization. I told

2:00:18

my son I said you got

2:00:20

to get in that freezing swimming

2:00:22

pool Only on days your dad

2:00:24

does comedy for free If

2:00:26

I'm getting on a plane, going out of

2:00:28

town and getting paid, that's fine. But if

2:00:30

I'm driving over the hill to go to

2:00:32

the comedy store on a Wednesday night for

2:00:34

no money. Then you need to

2:00:36

be in the pool the next day. We all

2:00:38

suffer. Yeah, we're all gonna learn what it's

2:00:40

like. That's great. To grow a little, yeah, lasted

2:00:42

10 minutes. gonna grind together. Lasted

2:00:44

10 minutes. 10 minutes and then the

2:00:46

wife got involved. You tried to

2:00:48

kill him. Okay, great. Get the bubble

2:00:50

wrap. But yeah, I

2:00:52

was like, oh man, Stan, I

2:00:55

don't think I can do 45

2:00:57

minutes of stand -up, clean, like clean

2:00:59

stand -up, not sort of late

2:01:01

night. clean, but clean standup.

2:01:03

I was like, I don't, I don't think

2:01:05

I have this. And then soon as

2:01:08

your point, there's cleaning and there's provoking. Right.

2:01:10

Right. And soon and provoking. I

2:01:13

thought, no, man, I think I

2:01:15

could do like. Encino,

2:01:17

North Hollywood clean. Yeah, maybe

2:01:19

parts of Sherman Oaks. I

2:01:21

don't have promo

2:01:23

clean. And then

2:01:25

as soon as I thought that, I thought,

2:01:27

oh, now I have to do it,

2:01:30

because it just sounds scary to me. By

2:01:32

the way, it's all just scary.

2:01:34

Dancing with the stars when you can't

2:01:36

dance is scary. Driving a professional

2:01:38

trans -am race when you're not a

2:01:41

professional driver. It's scary and provo clean.

2:01:43

It's all scary. It's all

2:01:45

I don't know how much different

2:01:47

you can't get more different than

2:01:49

dancing versus stand up versus driving a

2:01:51

Transam car, but it's all the

2:01:53

same. It's just scary. And so

2:01:55

it's all a challenge. Yeah.

2:01:57

And everybody I got to go to your

2:01:59

second show. I didn't get to go

2:02:01

your first one, but I went to your

2:02:03

second show and I can tell you,

2:02:05

I mean, the standing ovation, you did such

2:02:07

an exceptional job like anybody who's listening

2:02:09

to this, you have to go experience Adam's

2:02:11

second. drive our special because it is

2:02:13

the belly laughter was real. There's

2:02:16

the laughter, the courteous laughter, and then

2:02:18

there's the deep laughter where just like, you're

2:02:20

kind of disturbed by some of the

2:02:22

people laughing because you're like, whoa, is that

2:02:24

a real laugh? That's strange.

2:02:26

And you had multiple moments of that.

2:02:28

So make sure you guys get over there.

2:02:30

Every time you join the guild and

2:02:32

support and watch this, you're supporting Adam to

2:02:34

be able to do more stand up. more,

2:02:37

more dry bar. And so it's

2:02:39

angel.com slash Adam Corolla. Get over there.

2:02:41

Get 50 % off your first three

2:02:43

months and enjoy a special because

2:02:46

it's amazing. Yeah, I do. I now

2:02:48

I find myself sort of thinking

2:02:50

of jokes going, oh, OK, that could

2:02:52

be a dry bar. That

2:02:54

would work. That would work. Out

2:02:56

of your comfort zone. That's provoked. Well,

2:02:58

and to be clear, it wasn't

2:03:00

like, you know, clean doesn't always mean

2:03:02

that you weren't being edgy. Like

2:03:04

there was moments where you actually went

2:03:06

into the more political side of

2:03:08

the discussion, right? Yeah. There's some great

2:03:10

political jokes. And so your

2:03:12

audience who's like, man, Adam is clean.

2:03:14

That's going to be boring. Guys,

2:03:16

I'm telling you, it's the same

2:03:18

Adam Corolla. Like he didn't feel different.

2:03:21

No, it's the same guy. It's just

2:03:23

he's got a few less efforts in

2:03:26

there. I found it

2:03:28

weirdly sort of liberating,

2:03:30

even though it should

2:03:32

have felt confining. But

2:03:34

there's kind of a way where

2:03:36

this thing, it's sort of like back

2:03:39

to the analogy, when you climb

2:03:41

into the Trans Am car, it's just

2:03:43

a cage that you climb into

2:03:45

and then you have a six -way

2:03:47

harness and you're all belt and you

2:03:49

could get sort of paranoid about

2:03:51

being strapped but it actually feels better.

2:03:54

It feels safer to be in

2:03:56

this thing strapped down with the equipment

2:03:58

on you and everything and I

2:04:00

sort of felt so it seems it

2:04:02

feels liberating to be strapped into

2:04:04

this cage with this car and I've

2:04:06

sort of felt that way about

2:04:09

doing clean stand -up like I felt

2:04:11

sort of liberated. by it. It felt

2:04:13

like, well, we're going to get

2:04:15

rid of the crutches and we're going

2:04:17

to get rid of the stuff

2:04:19

and the easy stuff. And now this

2:04:21

is just going to be the

2:04:24

stuff that works. And you're there's

2:04:26

no more falling back on this

2:04:28

or that crutch. You know, so and

2:04:30

I would I would argue that

2:04:32

it would probably make you a better

2:04:34

stand up, even if just to

2:04:36

challenge yourself that to do it because

2:04:38

all the crutches sort of go

2:04:40

away, you know what I'm Talking about

2:04:42

it. Yeah. 100%. Absolutely. And

2:04:45

I like the point that you can still be

2:04:47

edgy in that, in that sort of format.

2:04:49

You know, it's clean, but you can still challenge

2:04:51

the audience a little bit and go for

2:04:53

genuinely smart and interesting jokes. Yeah. Yeah,

2:04:55

the only time I lost the audience is I

2:04:57

said, anybody, we got any drinkers out here? And

2:04:59

I was like, no. Just

2:05:03

silence. You

2:05:06

can pin drop. But

2:05:08

you know people that drink,

2:05:10

right? And everyone started laughing.

2:05:12

And I was like, all

2:05:14

right, we're back. Jordan,

2:05:16

King of Kings in

2:05:18

theaters, King of Kings,

2:05:21

as we speak, doing

2:05:23

well. nice getting

2:05:25

back I just I like it

2:05:27

I like getting back to the

2:05:29

old the things the way it's

2:05:31

just something a little more wholesome

2:05:33

not everybody you know like the

2:05:35

less little less race riding and

2:05:37

a little more just folks taking

2:05:39

care of folks and wholesome entertainment

2:05:41

and kids allowing to be kids

2:05:43

allowed to be kids you know

2:05:45

like you don't This thing that's

2:05:47

like, we have to tell kids

2:05:49

about the trans community on their

2:05:52

sixth birthday. It's like, I just

2:05:54

leave them alone. They

2:05:56

got the Easter Bunny. They

2:05:58

got Santa Claus. They'll figure

2:06:00

out the trans thing later

2:06:02

on. They will. They

2:06:04

can't avoid it. Lord knows

2:06:06

I've tried. I can't avoid

2:06:09

the trans information. They'll get it.

2:06:11

But while they're six, just

2:06:13

let them be six at this

2:06:15

point. Watch a little

2:06:17

dry bar comedy, crack

2:06:19

a you -hoo, and

2:06:21

enjoy your childhood for as long

2:06:23

as we can nurse that. Jordan,

2:06:26

I hope to see you soon. I

2:06:28

think we'll do a series. We'll do

2:06:30

a few, right? Yep, we're we we

2:06:32

have a lot of ideas of what

2:06:34

we're going to do together. So we

2:06:36

appreciate all you're doing, Adam, and and

2:06:38

how you've how you've continued to bring

2:06:40

your talents to dry bar. So thank

2:06:42

you so much. It's been it's been

2:06:44

a real it's been a treat. And

2:06:47

again, it's like I'm old. So you

2:06:49

you don't know what's around the next

2:06:51

corner. You really you really don't could be

2:06:53

the grim. But

2:06:55

I'm never going to say it. So I'll

2:06:57

say it for guys. You got to

2:06:59

watch this special. Adam angel.com slash Adam cruel

2:07:01

I get 50 % off for first three

2:07:03

months when you do this you are

2:07:05

supporting Adam and his stand up and his

2:07:07

career and what he's doing and it's

2:07:09

it is it is Adam this is his

2:07:11

personality everything's in there and so go

2:07:13

enjoy it go watch the first one for

2:07:15

free it's now free anybody can go

2:07:17

watch it and and you can get a

2:07:19

taste of what this is going to

2:07:21

be like but yeah this is this is

2:07:23

a meaningful being a guild member is

2:07:25

a meaningful impact on

2:07:28

actually changing the entertainment space and

2:07:30

causing the entertainment to really adapt to

2:07:32

what the audience wants. Yeah. I

2:07:34

mean, as successful as you guys are,

2:07:36

obviously impossible to do without the

2:07:38

guilt and the people that support it.

2:07:40

Jordan, much love to you. We'll

2:07:42

see you soon over there in

2:07:45

Provo. Adam, you got

2:07:47

shows coming up. uh with uh yaka

2:07:49

yep yeah we'll be at the

2:07:51

uh lojoya comedy store july well or

2:07:53

april this uh weekend friday to

2:07:55

sunday and the special is uh not

2:07:57

big enough to cancel as well

2:07:59

very funny special and i gotta fight

2:08:01

or fighting in pittsburgh this week

2:08:03

at brady hung let's get it on

2:08:06

brady hung yep where do we

2:08:08

find it uh battled the burg Google

2:08:10

it up at Pittsburgh. We'll see

2:08:12

you out there. I'm going to be

2:08:14

in Port Charles, Florida doing stand

2:08:16

up May 2nd, May 3rd coming up.

2:08:18

I'll be everywhere. Go down crow.com.

2:08:21

I'm Melbourne, Florida and the next day

2:08:23

on the fourth. going to

2:08:25

come for all that till next

2:08:27

time. I'm Crawford Jordan Harmon and

2:08:29

Adam Yinser and mayhem saying Mahala.

2:08:33

You can leave us a

2:08:35

voicemail at 888 -634 -1744 and

2:08:37

you can get tickets to

2:08:39

see Adam Carolla at adamcarolla.com. Get

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your heart pounding with nightmare

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fueling classics like Insidious and Bram

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Stoker's Dracula. Or

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Urban Legend and Don't Be Afraid of

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the Dark. Pluto TV

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terrifying movies, live and on demand. Download

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Pluto TV on all your favorite

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devices and start streaming now. At

2:09:19

Walden University, we get the

2:09:21

W. We're not here

2:09:23

to have our hands held. We're here

2:09:26

to lend ours because we want

2:09:28

to create positive change on the world

2:09:30

around us. And Walden University teaches

2:09:32

us the skills to make it happen

2:09:34

on our time. Now, it's

2:09:36

your time. Learn the skills. Make

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an impact. Get the W.

2:09:41

Walden University. Set a course

2:09:43

for change. Visit waldenu .edu

2:09:45

to learn more. Certifies

2:09:47

operate by chef.

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