Episode Transcript
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From Corolla one studios in
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Glendale, California. This is
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the Adam Corolla show Adam's
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guest today comedian Adam
2:54
Jensen and the president of
2:56
Angel Studios Jordan Harmon
2:58
Plus the news with Jason
3:00
mayhem Miller and now
3:02
a Clean episode from a
3:04
man who never showers
3:07
Adam Corolla Yeah, get it
3:09
on, got to get
3:11
it on, the truth is
3:13
we gotta mandate ya,
3:15
get it on! Adam
3:17
Yenzer back in the studio,
3:19
he has a very funny dry
3:21
bar special himself, just riddled
3:24
with good jokes. He's gonna
3:26
be at the La Jolla
3:28
Comedy Store coming up this weekend
3:30
and he's gonna be there
3:32
with Yaakov Smirnoff, my friend. Yeah,
3:34
he's a great guy. He's
3:36
truly, you know what? When
3:38
they go, he's a lovely guy.
3:40
That's who they're talking about. Absolutely. When
3:42
they say Yakov Smirnoff. A minch. Yes.
3:45
Just a good, good dude. He is. Had
3:47
a chance to catch up with him
3:49
when I was in Florida last and did
3:52
a little interview with him and brought
3:54
him up on stage and that kind of
3:56
stuff. Nice. Good dude. So what do
3:58
you do at the comedy store in La
4:00
Jolla? Do you? Go out is he
4:02
featured to you feature who does I'm featuring
4:04
on these so he's headlining these shows
4:06
I just started working with him about I
4:08
don't know four months ago. He's somebody
4:10
when I grew up watching Johnny Carson I
4:13
loved his old Johnny Carson set and
4:15
he's like a legend in the comedy world
4:17
And he was doing these shows at
4:19
his theater in Branson and now he's going
4:21
back out on the road again So
4:23
yeah, he's headlining I do some time before
4:25
him and he's just been a blast
4:27
to work with We were talking off the
4:29
air and it's a big subject in
4:31
my world. Just
4:34
as fast at him or he lived
4:36
and he said to Luca Lake, but
4:38
he pointed towards Sun Valley. And
4:41
then I stopped and said, you're
4:43
pointing the wrong direction, which I
4:45
do with everybody all the time.
4:48
which I can't tell if it means
4:50
I'm an ass or I care too
4:52
much. Now got a lot of iron
4:54
deposits in your nose. It
4:56
just bothers me,
4:58
but it's also,
5:02
here's my problem. I don't want
5:04
them to carry on. Pointing
5:06
the wrong direction. I'm not always gonna be
5:08
there. I'm like a dad telling his
5:11
son, you know what I mean? I appreciate
5:13
I took the correction I'm good outside
5:15
in LA. I know the directions when I
5:17
get inside. I feel like I get
5:19
turned around I'm just like, oh You must
5:21
play sports as a as a youth.
5:23
Oh not a lot. I was in I
5:25
was in Boy Scouts, but that's what
5:27
it is for a person because because There's
5:30
a new breed of of folk
5:32
who cannot be coached. Yeah It's
5:34
mostly women and young dudes they
5:36
just argue they make excuses like
5:38
you can't coach them and I
5:40
realized They didn't play sports. They
5:42
weren't the military They didn't have
5:45
some guy in a position looking
5:47
down at them telling them they
5:49
were doing it wrong every ten
5:51
minutes Yeah, and so that is
5:53
sort of the new world order,
5:55
but when when people when I
5:57
say something to someone and they
5:59
go, oh, yeah. Right. Thanks. I
6:01
was wrong. Then that means they
6:03
were in the military or they
6:05
wrestled or they played football or
6:07
something. Scouting makes sense. Yeah. Yeah.
6:09
Did you get to a high
6:11
level of scouting? I did. I
6:13
got to Eagle Scout. Oh, but
6:15
clearly. Lots of talk about this.
6:17
I still don't know my direction.
6:21
Well, it's
6:23
a thing and it's a
6:25
thing with me and people.
6:27
Do it all the time.
6:30
They go, oh, I'm
6:32
out in Malibu. And then they point, and
6:34
I go, you're pointing to Pasadena. And
6:36
like, you're Belinda or something. I think we
6:38
can keep going. We can get to
6:40
Vegas the way you're pointing. And
6:42
I guess we'll circle the globe and eventually
6:44
we'll get to Malibu. Technically,
6:46
you might be right, but we'd have
6:49
to circumnavigate the globe to come back
6:51
around to Malibu. But there's a closer
6:53
way. That's only 18 miles if you
6:55
want to point that direction. And then
6:57
everyone's number one answer is either I'm
6:59
wrong or they go, yeah, I don't
7:01
know what direction Malibu is. And then
7:03
I go, don't point. Because
7:06
let's just say you said, let's just
7:08
all ask, don't point. But you just
7:10
tell me you live in Toluca Lake.
7:12
Where you live, Adam? I live in
7:14
Toluca Lake. Liar! See,
7:17
it wouldn't work that way. It wouldn't. I
7:19
would believe you. You pointing makes
7:21
me not believe you. Now I think
7:23
you're a liar because you're pointing to
7:25
Sun Valley. So maybe you don't
7:27
live in Toluca. Just keep your hands in
7:29
your pocket when you say where you live. Or
7:31
pick the right direction. I will pick the
7:33
right direction next time. Or just
7:35
keep the hands in the pocket. Or
7:38
maybe... The way we're going to do
7:40
it next time, Adam, I'll go, where do
7:42
you live? And then I'll go, hold
7:44
on, let's go out in the parking lot.
7:48
And then you can, you can try
7:50
to triangulate. And then as an Eagle
7:52
Scout, I'll look where the sun is
7:54
in the sky. you were going to
7:56
put a stick in the ground and see which way it turns. I
7:59
didn't bring my compass. Eagle
8:02
Scout. Yeah. Feel
8:04
like Eagle Scout used to
8:06
really mean something. It was like
8:08
owning a van. Yeah. Yeah. That
8:11
guy's going place. He's got
8:13
a van. You know, like
8:15
now it's a little bit of a strike
8:17
or your square or something. Like, I don't
8:19
know what it is, but it used to,
8:21
it was a big deal. It was a
8:23
tough thing to do back in the day.
8:25
And it was, I think they've, they've lowered
8:27
the standards and scouting a little bit and
8:29
they did the thing where they kind of
8:31
merged. the Girl Scouts and the Boy Scouts
8:33
into one thing called scouting. So it's I
8:35
don't. Yeah. Don't like it. I don't. I
8:37
don't know. Here's the
8:40
thing. And I've been yelling about this
8:42
in a microphone for a million
8:44
years, which is not everything is progress.
8:46
Like all progress isn't always good.
8:48
Sometimes you go and you make mistakes.
8:50
It's we have this thing, especially
8:53
in California. It's like, what's next? What's
8:55
next? I don't know. Find a
8:57
rear view mirror. Take a look behind
8:59
you. Maybe folks who are older
9:01
than us, maybe other generations had some
9:03
things right. I
9:06
was sitting at a
9:08
Starbucks in La
9:10
Cagnada. I was waiting for
9:12
you. Pointing in the right direction. A
9:15
little more that way. But I was
9:17
sitting at Starbucks in La Cagnada a few
9:19
weeks ago and I saw a, and
9:21
I do want to tell people
9:23
this. People
9:26
do this thing all the time. They
9:28
go though. We're looking for a house.
9:30
We'll know how the school system is.
9:32
We'll know the walking score. There's a
9:34
score for walking, which is weird. But
9:36
there's like it's got a high walking
9:38
score and it's in a good dish.
9:41
I don't know. It means places are
9:43
safe or close or something. You could
9:45
stroll to Starbucks. Yeah, right. I'll tell
9:47
you, all you need to do, all
9:49
you need to do is go to
9:51
the closest Starbucks to your home. And
9:54
then you go in and you do what I
9:56
did at the Lacanada one, which is I went
9:58
in, saw the guy behind the counter, and I
10:00
said, what's the code for the bathroom door? And
10:02
he goes, no code. And I went, that's why
10:04
this is. That's a good neighbor. That's why this
10:06
is Lacanada. You're right.
10:08
Right. Because the code, if
10:10
you ever go to a place
10:12
where they just go, no code for
10:14
the bathroom at the Starbucks, that's
10:16
a. good neighborhood. And you don't need
10:18
to know the schooling or the
10:21
walking. You need anything else. You just
10:23
that's all you need. The Corolla
10:25
Starbucks score. That's all it's all you
10:27
need. It means safe, good, no
10:29
junkies, fentanyl, whatever. It's just that's what
10:31
it means. It means no homeless.
10:33
Yeah. So I'm sitting in
10:35
that Starbucks after destroying the
10:37
bathroom. I tore that. or
10:40
the hinges off that door, man. No,
10:42
I'm after vandalizing the bathroom and they put
10:45
a code in after you used it. They
10:47
were like, all right, we can't let him
10:49
back in here. I
10:52
like he doesn't care code. I'm another
10:54
place used to bathroom in North Hollywood.
10:56
They had the code, but it's they
10:58
don't care code. It's like one, two,
11:00
three, four, five pound. And I like,
11:02
OK, we have a code. Not really. So
11:06
I saw. A
11:08
girl, I don't know, a 12 -year -old girl
11:10
come walking up and she's wearing a Boy
11:12
Scouts uniform. And I'm just like, what?
11:15
And then that got me launched off
11:17
on it. Can we just have the Boy
11:19
Scouts? Can we just have it? Is
11:21
everything got to be something? Is
11:23
it OK? Can we just go, we'll have
11:25
the Boy Scouts. And they have the Girl Scouts
11:27
for Girls and that worked for them and
11:29
Boy Scouts for Boys and you need separate sex
11:32
activities at that time. a gym for girls.
11:34
You know what I mean? And then someone goes,
11:36
why? And then someone goes, who cares? There's
11:38
a gym for girls. That's okay. I don't need
11:40
to infiltrate it. There's other gyms. We don't
11:42
need to go. There could be a gym for
11:44
men. I wouldn't care. It's just, why
11:46
can't we have a Boy Scouts? That's all
11:48
I'm saying. And does everything have to go?
11:51
And is their plan
11:55
To give young girls a chance at scouting
11:57
or is it just I hate my
11:59
dad and I have to destroy everything because
12:01
it's I hate my dad and I
12:03
have to destroy everything and we don't get
12:05
it We sit around and they go Oh,
12:08
well, then what if we had
12:10
another scout? It's like what we don't
12:12
get is these people are angry
12:14
and just want to destroy everything. And
12:16
we keep trying to bargain with
12:18
them because we think there's something they
12:20
want, but they don't want anything.
12:22
They want the opposite of what you
12:24
want, which is everything. And I
12:26
think they also hate that they see
12:28
the Boy Scouts and those, any
12:31
traditional institution, they see it as having
12:33
other traditional values underlying it that
12:35
I think they want to detract from.
12:37
So it's, they see the Boy
12:39
Scouts as though it was often affiliated
12:41
with churches, like you'd meet in
12:43
a church basement. They kind of fostered
12:45
some traditional gender roles and they
12:47
hate all of that stuff now. Yes,
12:49
yes. So what they're, what they
12:51
do now is what I basically learned
12:53
in COVID, but it's, it's like,
12:56
You're like, I don't want to wear
12:58
paper mask alone on a hiking
13:00
trail. And they're like, oh, you're Trump
13:02
voter. Not
13:04
necessarily. I don't
13:06
want to do unuseful things that
13:08
don't make sense. Yeah. Mega
13:10
guy. And now we're
13:12
arguing. And I'm like, look.
13:14
If you told me every time I
13:17
went for a walk, I had to just
13:19
circle the light post three times before
13:21
I could go on. I would not want
13:23
to do that either. But it doesn't
13:25
mean it doesn't make me mega. It just
13:27
makes me against doing stuff that's useless,
13:29
you know. And so everything is
13:31
a signal for something. And and
13:33
and it's a two way street. I
13:35
see someone wearing a mask alone
13:37
in their car. I know how they
13:39
vote. I know what their politics
13:42
are, right? So. This be
13:44
everything becomes something so nothing
13:46
can exist in a vacuum
13:48
and your Boy Scout guy,
13:50
but that means you're a
13:52
mega guy now because of
13:54
the traditional whatever and so
13:56
now we're gonna attack that
13:58
but we're not really attacking
14:01
walking alone without a mask
14:03
on a trail We're attacking
14:05
your politics and that's basically
14:07
what it's all come down
14:09
to now, right? so
14:11
you drive a pick up truck and
14:13
you put American flag on it. We
14:15
go, we know. And so
14:17
then the people are like, why are they against
14:20
the American flags? They're not against the American
14:22
flag. They're against the way the guy drives the
14:24
truck votes. Yeah. And now they know it.
14:26
It's become even like that driving around. I try
14:28
not to do it myself. But if I
14:30
see a house that has patriotic stuff on it,
14:32
I assume it's like, oh, there must be
14:34
conservative people living there. Yeah. I
14:37
figured out a long
14:39
time ago, like they're
14:41
ways. to,
14:43
okay, in
14:45
terms of conservative
14:47
house, if you
14:49
put a sign up that says, you
14:52
know, no person is illegal and
14:54
LGBT and we believe whatever you're right
14:56
for a Robin like a pistol
14:58
whip and a Robin. But if you
15:00
put an NRA or you know,
15:02
these these colors don't run or whatever,
15:04
then you got then they'll probably
15:06
go to the next house where they
15:09
put that sign up. I mean,
15:11
someone should statistically work it out. But
15:13
you want to put a
15:16
Confederate flag sticker on your front
15:18
window. You might get it broken, but
15:20
you're not going to get robbed.
15:22
That means there's someone in there cleaning
15:24
a gun right now. I
15:26
saw the one that the number one
15:28
house to rob. I saw was
15:30
certainly noses running. I saw a. It's
15:33
a house that had a sticker for how many
15:35
cats they had in the house, so the fire department
15:37
could save them. I'm like, oh, you're going to
15:39
get robbed. But what is in a house full of
15:41
cats that you want to rob? I
15:43
don't know. It's covered with hair. You take everything
15:45
out, and it all smells like the cats. That's
15:47
so funny. All right,
15:49
so my special, which,
15:53
sorry, you're going to put
15:55
all that info on the
15:57
screen. Uh, what
15:59
we talked about before that comes,
16:01
uh, Adam comes clean. That's available
16:03
right now. And it's fantastic. By
16:05
the way, I watched it. Great
16:07
jokes. Really? Yeah. I'm so flattered because
16:09
I watched yours and I thought, Oh, Adam's
16:11
got a bunch of great jokes in his.
16:13
Yeah, yours is awesome. Oh, I'm so glad
16:15
you watched it. Fancy. You
16:18
saw it on, uh. I'm
16:21
sorry, on dry bar. Yeah,
16:23
on the app. Yeah. Oh, OK.
16:25
So now the first special
16:27
I shot is available in front
16:29
of the paywall or whatever.
16:31
So it's free. You don't have
16:33
to sign up is what
16:35
I'm saying to do it. That
16:37
second one I shot is
16:39
available to subscribers. And that's behind.
16:41
You have to be a
16:43
you have to have a subscription.
16:45
Right. But the first one
16:47
is free. To anyone listening it's
16:50
just at the at their
16:52
website at the I guess you
16:54
go to On the angel
16:56
app and it's free. All right,
16:58
so there you go. So
17:00
thanks for watching. I appreciate that
17:02
people are I find sometimes
17:04
When it comes to stand I
17:06
don't know if you have
17:08
this thought or not, but like
17:10
I'll go out and Do
17:12
like I did Bobby Kennedy juniors
17:15
stand up, fundraiser, whatever, the
17:17
night of comedy with
17:19
whatever. And, you
17:22
know, I can be realistic
17:24
about my performances. Every
17:26
time I say that, I go, I crush my face. I'll
17:29
tell you, the theater
17:31
was that direction. There
17:33
was like seven or eight comedians.
17:36
And, you know, when you get
17:38
in that situation, You
17:40
do sort of sit back there and
17:42
everyone's doing 15 minutes. And
17:44
I did it with a kid rock
17:46
benefit and stuff. But you sit in the
17:48
green room, you're kind of sizing. People
17:50
are sizing people up a little bit because
17:53
at some point somebody's going to pick
17:55
a ranking. You know, they'll go, how was
17:57
the kid rock? You know, nine of
17:59
a thousand comedians. They go, so and so
18:01
is really good. And then so and
18:03
so is it. And then you want to
18:05
be up toward the top. Yes. You
18:07
know what I mean? So
18:10
I went out there and I crushed
18:12
it. And I was probably the funniest of
18:14
the night. But I saw everyone and
18:16
everyone was good, but I did extra good.
18:18
And then a lot of comedians will come on
18:20
the show and I'll go, oh man, I
18:23
saw this guy. He did The Rite
18:25
of Kennedy, whatever. And he was really great that
18:27
night. They go. They
18:31
never go, oh, you're good too.
18:33
It's weird. Comedians don't like
18:35
to hand it out. Yeah. And
18:37
so it's very, it's rare or
18:39
pretty rare when comedians go, hey,
18:42
Sawyer Special was great, you know, or something like
18:44
ours with you that night. It a good job or
18:46
whatever. It's just a, did you notice that? Oh,
18:48
I noticed that, but I'm glad you have a self
18:50
-awareness about it, because I know when I've done well,
18:52
but I also know comics, especially newer comics. When
18:55
you watch them go up and they'll get off
18:57
and they'll they'll tell you'll hear them tell people
18:59
the next show. Oh, I crushed and you're like,
19:01
no, I was at that show. You didn't you
19:03
didn't. Oh, I see the other thing where they
19:05
they have this this, you know, unfounded self confidence
19:07
where they're like, oh, I killed it again tonight.
19:10
You're fine. All right. That's helpful on comedy.
19:12
I don't think so. No, right. Unreal confidence.
19:14
Yeah. But. Yeah. And what I find from
19:16
the audience, where you also never want to
19:18
be is sometimes at a club, especially,
19:20
it'll be like waiting by the exit to
19:22
say goodbye to people, thank them for coming.
19:24
And the audience will come up and they'll
19:26
go to a comic and go, oh, you
19:29
were really good. And they'll turn and look
19:31
at another and go, oh, hey, you
19:33
were. Yeah. You can tell they weren't really
19:35
a fan of that one. Yeah. Yeah. I
19:37
think, I think it's good to do reality
19:39
on reality terms, you know, it'll help you
19:41
improve. But if you had a good night,
19:43
then you can own that as well. It
19:45
just have to, you just have
19:48
to call balls and strikes for
19:50
yourself. It'll be helpful. So you were
19:52
an Eagle Scout when it was
19:54
tough to be an Eagle Scout. What
19:57
is the minimum amount of time? it
19:59
would take to be an Eagle Scout
20:01
back in the day, like to get
20:04
to Black Belt. You couldn't do it
20:06
in three months. That's interesting
20:08
because you had to finish it by your 18th
20:10
birthday. Those were the rules. When you become
20:12
an adult, you're no longer in Scouts. I
20:14
was where I pushed it till the week
20:16
before my birthday. I remember my dad being
20:18
like, you got to finish this. You got
20:20
to get this American badge done to finish
20:22
it in time. There were kids that
20:25
would finish it around, I don't
20:27
know what the earliest is, but... 14
20:29
15 there were kids that got in
20:31
there and they would just have this
20:33
they'd have to get two sashes full
20:35
of like getting every merit badge But
20:37
so earliest I say maybe 14 15
20:39
if you were a real overachiever, but
20:42
18 was like the cutoff and How
20:44
long it take you then I mean
20:46
you start when you're seven so you
20:48
join cub scouts around six or seven
20:50
and that's like the junior scouting
20:52
and then around 11 or 12
20:54
I think you become a Boy Scout
20:56
and then you have those six
20:59
years between like 12 to 18 and
21:01
Boy Scouts to complete all the
21:03
merit badges and do an Eagle project
21:05
and complete all the requirements. Did
21:07
there were there what was like the
21:09
most difficult task or merit badge? I
21:12
remember the swimming merit badge was tough. because
21:14
you the only place you could really you
21:16
could either go on your own time in
21:18
the summer but at Boy Scout camp over
21:20
the summer they would have swimming merit badge
21:22
and you'd have to get up at the
21:25
crack of dawn. And even in
21:27
the summer, it was in the Poconos, it was
21:29
this cold lake. So you'd have to go in
21:31
there and there was like a mile swim
21:33
and you'd have to dive down and pick up
21:35
things off the bottom that were in the murky
21:37
brown water when it's six AM and like
21:39
58 degrees outside. So that was the
21:41
thing where you'd, you'd, you'd kind of put that one off.
21:43
And then one year you'd be like, I have to get
21:45
swimming mirror badge this year. That one was tough. It was,
21:47
it was physically exerting and it was freezing cold. Yeah.
21:53
That's a, yeah, that's. Tough. I don't think it's a
21:55
phobia, but to be in water where you can't
21:57
see your feet, but I don't like it. And I
21:59
don't think anyone likes it. And it's one of
22:01
those where you're swimming down through the water and you
22:03
don't even know how close you are to the
22:05
bottom until it just appears out of the murky depths.
22:07
And then you're just holding your breath and desperate
22:09
to get back up. So the swim one was a
22:11
tough one. one was tough for me. Yeah. And
22:14
then you always have to complete an Eagle
22:16
project. I put in flag poles at a Boy
22:18
Scout camp. So we had to. dig the
22:20
pits for the three flag poles, put in the
22:22
cement, put up the poles and put a
22:24
garden around it. Different people picked different levels of
22:26
difficulty for their Eagle projects.
22:28
And I listen, I feel like
22:31
and, and, you
22:33
know, anyone who's done
22:35
anything at a sort of higher
22:38
level discipline,
22:40
and it doesn't really matter whether it's
22:42
MMA or Eagle scouting or football or
22:44
whatever, it's just about sort of conquering yourself,
22:46
sort of getting past your pain. I'm
22:48
glad you put those on the same level
22:50
of it. Yeah. flattered.
22:53
I'm flattered. I'm
22:55
just saying it
22:58
doesn't have to be
23:00
anything where you're awarded a
23:02
championship belt or an Eagle Scout
23:04
ranking. It's just sort of conquering
23:06
yourself, you know. And
23:08
man, it is
23:10
trouble these days. People aren't doing it.
23:12
They're not engaging in it. I
23:15
feel like I fall back
23:17
on it a lot. It
23:19
has a, you know, it's
23:21
not necessarily physical all the time.
23:23
Like, you know, was talking to someone
23:25
about doing a clean 45 minutes
23:28
and it was like, put it, put it
23:30
on the calendar, put that date on it. I'm
23:32
going to start working on it. It's not
23:34
all going to be that comfortable, but put on
23:36
the counter. Let's do it. And,
23:38
and it, but I
23:40
am drawing on playing
23:43
football weirdly. million years
23:45
ago or just doing a whole bunch
23:47
of stuff I didn't want to
23:49
do. And then I realized sometimes I
23:51
talked to a lot of people
23:53
who haven't done a lot of stuff they don't
23:55
want to do and they're not good at
23:57
doing stuff they don't want to do and the
24:00
product is bad and or they don't
24:02
do it at all and they
24:04
end up getting left behind. In
24:07
life. Yeah, I think that's that's really interesting because
24:09
I feel like I like that it's like
24:11
challenging yourself It's you want to know that you
24:13
can rise the challenge even just doing you
24:15
know the clean 45 minutes or when I was
24:17
in Boy Scouts I remember the only merit
24:19
badge I ever gave up on at
24:21
Scout Camp the one year there was mountain biking and
24:23
I was a pretty good mountain biker but when I signed
24:25
up for it the group that I was in were
24:27
all these kids that had been doing it for years and
24:29
could you know hop their bikes over logs and I
24:31
felt like I was getting left in the dust and that
24:33
summer I quit that Maribaj and it bothered me it
24:35
was like that was like the first time When
24:38
I do something even it's hard. It's like
24:40
you kind of want to commit and see it
24:42
through even if it's gonna take you a
24:44
while Mm -hmm, but that that sat with me
24:46
when I was like, oh, I gave up on
24:48
that thing and yeah, don't like doing that
24:50
and that was a feeling I was like, oh,
24:52
I don't want that feeling again about something.
24:54
Yeah giving up on yeah, yeah, no and and
24:57
also You didn't want to say
24:59
out loud Like I'm scared to
25:01
do that. Yeah, I the one
25:03
that's weird that people
25:05
do a lot as they just go, I don't
25:07
do that. I'm not doing that again. I
25:09
go, okay, stop saying. Why do
25:11
you have such a long list of
25:13
things you don't do or food you
25:15
won't try or stuff you won't engage
25:18
in? It's weird. Just go, let's do
25:20
it or give it a try or
25:22
whatever. I prefer this over that. But
25:24
people out loud go, I'm scared to
25:26
do this or I'm not comfortable with
25:28
that or whatever. A lot of
25:31
it's nonsense. But I just mean, There's
25:33
gotta be, we've
25:36
sanitized the world enough so that
25:38
kids don't have to engage
25:40
in that stuff if they don't
25:42
choose to. And
25:44
the moms have become, and the dads, I
25:47
mean the moms started it and the dads
25:49
just sort of fell in. It became like.
25:52
weird Nazi sympathizers or something like I'm
25:54
not gonna round up any Jews
25:56
but I'm not gonna say anything if
25:58
anyone else does like I'll just hang
26:00
out watch you know what I mean
26:03
guys sucked into that and kids are
26:05
soft now yeah and they don't test
26:07
themselves it's that participation trophy culture and
26:09
the sort of lowering the standards where
26:11
everybody you know you just kind of
26:14
That's how I feel like Boy
26:16
Scouts might be now. I don't
26:18
know what the standards are, but
26:20
I feel like they... I don't
26:22
get what is satisfying about the
26:24
participation trophy, because I got a
26:27
lot of them, and it's been
26:29
going on for a long time,
26:31
and we always couch it as
26:33
the participation trophy, but participation trophy
26:35
is what you got if you
26:37
participated, but I didn't care. I
26:39
wanted most valuable or best defensive,
26:41
whatever. I
26:43
didn't I was so weirded
26:45
out in my my head that
26:47
when I was in the
26:50
11th grade and I I went
26:52
to play varsity football and
26:54
I'd went from Not starting on
26:56
the B team to ended
26:58
up being a starter on the
27:00
varsity because I was just
27:02
really threw myself into it and
27:04
at the end of the
27:06
year got most improved
27:08
and I was like
27:10
disgusted Later on in
27:13
life like people are
27:15
like, oh, no, that's
27:17
a good one. I'm
27:19
gonna know it's not
27:21
I don't want that
27:23
like and I don't
27:25
know it's an it's
27:27
an interesting Mindset like
27:30
and I without judgment
27:33
Who was would be proud
27:35
of most improved and there's
27:37
an argument for it and
27:39
then I was disgusted by
27:41
it I didn't want to
27:43
talk about I was like
27:45
a fine. I never even
27:48
brought I didn't brought it
27:50
up to anyone. Yeah, but
27:52
I don't know where I
27:54
don't know that I ever
27:56
accepted Mine I don't know
27:58
where it is. I don't know that I
28:00
ever had anyone hand it to me You
28:02
display if you if you get first place
28:04
if you finish something that you want that
28:06
displayed you want people like you're proud of
28:08
it But yeah, I remember if we got
28:10
Participation stuff. It was always these little red
28:12
ribbons and you just you have to throw
28:14
them away instantly Or you put it in
28:17
a drawer somewhere and two years later you'd
28:19
throw it away It's not just that to
28:21
the we live in a time of like
28:23
cheap dopamine like you can just instantly be
28:25
kind of happy and it like kind of
28:27
holds people back from being Truly happy. A
28:29
lot of the fighters that coach, um, you
28:31
know, the guys who fall off don't have
28:33
the discipline to like just get in there
28:35
and grind it out. So a lot of
28:37
doing something really great is boring and lonely.
28:39
Yeah. Yeah. It's super. That's very
28:42
super repetitive. And I
28:44
think that's, that's where people fall out.
28:46
That's just the super repetitive stuff. Like
28:48
the hardest thing I could ever. When
28:50
I taught boxing, I couldn't get people
28:52
to skip rope because they just didn't.
28:54
They weren't good at it and they
28:56
didn't like it. And all they did
28:58
was sit in one place for 20
29:00
minutes and skip rope, and they just
29:02
hate it. They just wouldn't do it.
29:04
They'd go right on wallop on the
29:06
heavy bag or But you go get
29:08
a 17 -year -old and jab and stick
29:10
it back to his face nowadays. Everybody
29:12
thinks that their Floyd Mayweather in his
29:14
boxing and Philly show. Right, right. like,
29:16
doing this, and everybody throws their jab
29:18
and puts it back there and nipple,
29:20
and I punch him in the face.
29:22
And I say, aha, you see that?
29:24
Yeah. I hit a student of mine
29:26
in the face. I hit all my
29:28
students in the face. I did
29:31
it. And I remember it was a
29:33
woman. And she was like,
29:35
why'd you do that? And I said,
29:37
I told you nine times to pull your
29:39
jab back to your head. I just
29:41
told you to do it. Just do it.
29:43
You know what I mean? And they're
29:45
like. Nobody could
29:47
throw a cross without dropping their
29:49
jab down to their hip. And
29:51
I was like, don't do it.
29:53
Just put it on your face
29:55
and physically touch your face. Then
29:57
if you can't figure it out,
30:00
you can't be trusted. They throw
30:02
that cross hand right back down to the
30:04
hip. You know, and like, I got so
30:06
crazy yesterday. I just put them guys to
30:08
go jab cross hook cross and like, blah,
30:11
blah, blah, blah, and then throw it right
30:13
back. So sometimes you get punched in the
30:15
face. But if you're shielding up, you know
30:17
what's coming. Four punches in a row. Put
30:19
your hands back to your face. It's a
30:21
nightmare. Trying to discipline these guys like hurting
30:23
kittens that are raising claws, you know. tell
30:26
you something that's probably good for these guys.
30:28
I don't know if you'd do it, but I
30:30
used to do it. The
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favorite teams. It's a bit along today to
30:43
stay updated on all the action, but
30:45
along the game starts here. I think when
30:47
I was to be at the jet
30:49
center, Benny Arquitas. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. The
30:51
Bob. I'd go just
30:53
do the first round. Just
30:55
your front hand. Just jabbing and
30:57
hooking and whatever you uppercut, whatever
31:00
you can muster with your bad
31:02
arm, but just. your bad arm
31:04
which is good because it teaches
31:06
you really not ignore your bad
31:08
arm. So it's like the first
31:10
round just the front hand. The
31:13
second round you can throw the
31:15
cross but only downstairs which is good
31:17
because people ignore the jab and they
31:19
ignore body punches and they should be
31:21
doing more body work and more
31:23
weak arm, but they just load up
31:25
on the cross and they go head
31:27
hunting. Yeah. Right. Yeah. So do the
31:30
first round, just the front arm and
31:32
do the second round. You can use
31:34
your back arm, but only to the
31:36
body. We have the same methodology.
31:38
Oh, you do. Yeah. That's exactly what
31:40
I ran through yesterday. Oh,
31:42
really? That's funny. Old school stuff
31:44
still works. Yeah. Oh, OK.
31:46
Yeah. That was way back at
31:48
the Jet Center and Van
31:50
Nuys or Benny or Kitas and
31:52
his brother. with the law
31:54
of Blinky and his wife, Lily,
31:56
and his wife, Blinky's wife.
31:58
Well, these guys were scary guys.
32:00
Like, many of your kids
32:03
would do, like, death matches in
32:05
the Philippines and stuff. Kind
32:07
of crazy, crazy stuff. They
32:09
are pretty legendary. I know about them,
32:11
you know? Yeah, they were famous guys.
32:13
They were in Van Nuys and then
32:15
the earthquake hit and their building, like,
32:17
fell down because it was all made
32:19
out of bricks. Oh, wow. And bricks.
32:22
in an earthquake or just they
32:24
just it just comes all
32:26
all down. So like when I
32:28
was living in an old
32:30
house in the in the valley
32:32
when the first earthquake hit
32:34
in the 70s or we had
32:36
this big tall chimney and
32:39
it just fell out and we
32:41
never which was normal to
32:43
me. But now I look at
32:45
it is is weird. You
32:47
know, now that I look at
32:49
it sort of like. And
32:52
it was weird. The
32:54
earthquake, you can
32:56
look it up, Dawson. It
32:58
was 72 or 74. The
33:02
chimney, and
33:05
it was a high
33:07
chimney because the house had
33:09
a very high pitched
33:12
roof. 71? Oh,
33:14
that early. So the house
33:16
had a high pitched roof. And
33:18
the rule is that chimney needs
33:20
to go higher than the top
33:22
of the roof for fire, safety,
33:25
whatever code they had in 1891
33:27
or whatever it was. But you
33:29
had to go past the ridge
33:31
rafter, the top of the. thing.
33:33
So no embers, I guess. Right.
33:35
And so, but the chimney was
33:38
down at the bottom line, like
33:40
at the wall line. So that
33:42
meant that chimney was like 13
33:44
feet high and it was all
33:46
just brick and it was a
33:48
million years old and the earthquake
33:51
hit and it all fell over
33:53
and it all slid into our
33:55
neighbor's yard. I thought
33:57
was sort of novel because it just
33:59
went to the true ex's yard because
34:01
there was only like three feet between
34:03
our house and their yard and it
34:05
just tumbled. Went the yard and then But
34:08
the thing that was funny about it is
34:10
I was like, oh, all right, well, now
34:12
we don't have a chimney. And
34:15
everyone was like, yeah, no more
34:17
chimney for us. And then
34:19
at some point I was like
34:21
35 and I was visiting my mom's
34:23
like, yeah, no chimney. What
34:25
are you going to do? Yeah, which
34:27
is a weird mentality. But
34:29
no chimney for the rest of
34:31
that house's life. And then it got
34:34
torn down. But it also just reminded
34:36
me of a funny story, which is. We
34:40
had my grandparents had
34:42
an upright piano like
34:44
a cheap bad upright
34:46
piano, but they had
34:49
a piano and They
34:51
were roofing put some
34:53
tar on a roof
34:55
above it a flat
34:57
roof and And it
34:59
dripped down and got
35:01
onto the handle under
35:03
the arm of this
35:05
upright piano and then
35:08
At some point, my grandparents
35:10
died and my sister
35:12
sort of collected things that
35:14
were at the house.
35:16
Now they didn't, nobody in
35:18
my family's left any
35:20
money or anything. God, you
35:22
know, God forbid. God,
35:25
I just, I want to break a pencil
35:27
every time I think about that, you know?
35:29
I was thinking about that too. I was
35:31
talking to, I was like out, I was
35:33
at breakfast with somebody the other day and
35:35
it was like a couple. I was like,
35:38
Your parents, are they done? Are they
35:40
okay? And they're like, they're very comfortable.
35:42
And I was like, oh. Oh,
35:45
and then I said to the guys, like,
35:47
what about your parents? Well, my mom has like
35:49
millions of dollars. And I go, where'd
35:52
she get to? Well, my dad had a million, then he
35:54
died. And then she's got the millions. And I'm like, what's
35:57
that like? Like somebody dies and
35:59
leaves you something, you know, just
36:01
dead. I don't know. a
36:04
vacation house in Palm Springs, or a
36:06
condo in Maui, or something. I would
36:08
like to just talk to the lawyer,
36:10
you know I mean? Just something, just
36:13
something. Maybe just eight grand, but just
36:15
eight grand, but it's something, right? I remember
36:17
that in high school when I would
36:19
hear kids, if their grandmother or the grandfather
36:21
died, and they'd be like, oh, they
36:23
left me 15 ,000 or 20 ,000 dollars. And
36:25
I was like, I've had several relatives
36:27
die. All I got was to go to
36:29
a funeral. There was no, like, there
36:31
was no inheritance. It was just somebody's God.
36:33
I had to pay for the... of
36:35
my father -in -law of a $15 ,000 casket. I
36:39
found the exact one online
36:41
at Costco for like $1
36:43
,100 like two days later. Exactly
36:46
the same. Anyway.
36:49
Now do they have bulk caskets at Costco if
36:51
you're planning to have a few people pass
36:53
in the next few? I mean, I'm
36:55
sure there was a reason why
36:57
this one was 15, but it's
36:59
probably just like... at the mortuary
37:02
or something versus saving my money
37:04
for the person I wasn't related
37:06
to, okay. But
37:08
there was no
37:10
money, there was never
37:12
any money. And my parents
37:14
have passed on and the grandparents, everyone
37:16
passed on, but there's never any money.
37:19
But there were, like my sister was
37:21
able to go in and get like
37:23
a crock pot. or stuff,
37:25
you know, just some plates or some,
37:27
you know, just some stuff, you
37:29
know, and she got
37:31
the piano. I didn't even
37:33
care about, I mean, here's, I think here's
37:35
the biggest, there could
37:37
be no greater indictment of a
37:39
family's lack of wealth than somebody
37:42
dies and then somebody says, Do
37:44
you want to go through the
37:46
belongings? I go, I'm good. I
37:48
mean, that's basically saying if
37:51
there's nothing there. If they
37:53
had a Tony Bennett CD,
37:55
I was between the Tony
37:57
Bennett CD and the Practical
37:59
Bible by Dennis Prager. And
38:02
I'm going to step further. All
38:04
right. I'm going to argue that
38:06
the bag it was delivered in
38:08
has some value. I'm not saying,
38:10
you know. You're gonna get
38:12
rich and retire off of selling the
38:14
Trader Joe's bag, but it's not worthless.
38:16
It has some value after lunch I
38:18
was walked off of his inheritance Yeah,
38:20
well that was my dad my mom
38:22
I got a note and that was
38:24
made out to me and my sister
38:27
But I'm not sure where that note
38:29
is, but I don't feel like it
38:31
has a lot of value to it
38:33
I don't know what I could sell
38:35
it for but maybe you haven't tried
38:37
to eBay not Not gonna test the
38:39
waters. I'm gonna get an approach I
38:41
want to get a loan out against
38:43
this. Yeah. All right. I got this
38:45
note for my mom. It's half my
38:47
sister. So I don't fully own it.
38:49
And then I got this Tony Bennett
38:51
CD and I got the practical Bible.
38:53
So like, what could we come
38:55
in the good bag? Are you keeping?
38:58
Oh, yeah, I could keep
39:00
the bag for sentimental
39:02
reasons. So my sister
39:04
had this piano at her
39:06
house. that had roofing tar
39:09
on the arm of it. And
39:11
it had ripped off the
39:14
ceiling, but this is from like
39:16
1973. And I
39:18
was, look, I was at her
39:20
house for Thanksgiving, like 15 or
39:22
20 years ago, and she had
39:24
this thing in her house, the
39:26
piano. And she
39:28
said, yeah, I got grandpa's piano. I said,
39:30
OK. And then I looked at it,
39:32
and I said, the tar's still there.
39:35
And my mom was there, and my sister
39:37
was stepdad. And they go, yeah, the
39:39
tar's still there after all those years. And
39:41
I go, yeah, it's
39:43
still there. And my mom's like laughing,
39:45
yeah, drip down from the ceiling. And
39:47
then it was there. And I was
39:49
like, yeah, we can get rid of it. And
39:52
she's never looked at me like, what?
39:54
I had a couple of drinks, okay. So
39:57
I go, give me your
39:59
hair dryer. Give me a hair
40:01
dryer. I need a hair dryer and
40:03
like a butter knife. And everyone's
40:05
look, everyone's at the table, you know, they're looking
40:07
at me like, what is this guy doing? I
40:09
go, I get the hairdryer, I get the butter
40:11
knife, I heat it up with the hairdryer and
40:13
I just get the butter knife and it just
40:15
comes off. And I go, it's done. It's
40:18
done. It took four minutes,
40:20
four minutes, you losers, for 50
40:22
years you've been living with all
40:24
that. Four minutes and five decades.
40:26
Yeah, four minutes and five decades.
40:28
Right. That's how long it took
40:30
to get the tar. But
40:32
who are we dealing with
40:34
here? There were dealing with
40:36
people that see tar, dripped
40:38
on an instrument and go,
40:41
nothing we can do. There's
40:43
nothing can do. The chimney's
40:45
gone. The tar's taking
40:47
its place. And there's nothing
40:49
we can do because we're losers
40:51
and we're trapped in our
40:53
environment. We didn't do MMA. We
40:55
weren't Eagle Scouts and we
40:57
didn't play football. We're just here.
40:59
And whatever happens is what
41:01
happens. And I don't get it.
41:03
But it's a mentality and it's bad. Yeah.
41:05
Well, one thing I admire about you, you
41:07
seem to know these things and I worry
41:09
about that as a comedian. I feel like
41:11
as I've gotten older, when I was a
41:13
kid, something that or you mentioned roofing,
41:15
like my uncles and my grandfathers were all
41:17
roofers. So I'd help them. Oh, that's why
41:19
you didn't get left anything. I felt like,
41:21
yeah. I felt like I was doing something
41:23
manual and accomplishing something. I was doing that
41:25
stuff. And in Boy Scouts, you learn how
41:27
to do physical things. And I've gotten older
41:29
and I'm doing comedy. It's fun. But I
41:32
feel like I'm. Like, if comedy doesn't work
41:34
out or if it goes away, I have
41:36
no skills that I've picked up over the
41:38
last 20 years. There's just no
41:40
more practical, like, you know,
41:42
that kind of work. I don't, I
41:44
mean, I would say to people, and I'm
41:46
a little bit of a broken record
41:48
on it, but you need like
41:50
a sort of tactile, you
41:52
need to live. You have to
41:54
have one foot in a tactile
41:57
world. Yes. And when you get in
41:59
a comedy or you just sit
42:01
in a cubicle all day and do
42:03
data entry or you write political
42:05
opinions online or something, you
42:07
leave the tactile world. And it's
42:09
a it's a it's an
42:11
interesting thing. I was talking to
42:13
Dr. Drew about it the other
42:16
day on our show, which is.
42:19
So I was saying to Drew,
42:21
you know, I was here all
42:23
last weekend and I was Organizing
42:25
and sort of cleaning and organizing
42:27
and moved out of one warehouse
42:30
that all got dumped here and
42:32
there's just junk with junk, you
42:34
know and and everything is sort
42:36
of caddy wampus and the The
42:38
sockets, you know the mechanic sockets
42:40
are with the drywall screws and
42:43
stuff and I just need to
42:45
like separate and clean And
42:47
so I was saying to Dr. Drew, I
42:49
said, you know, it's weird,
42:51
but I went out and
42:53
went to church on
42:56
Easter and then went to
42:58
brunch. And I found
43:00
myself sitting there going, we
43:02
went to church and then it was time to
43:04
go to brunch. And I was saying to my girlfriend,
43:07
Maybe I just hit the shop and you guys
43:09
go to brunch. And they're like, what? You
43:11
want to come to brunch and hear how rich
43:13
everyone's family are so you can get disappointed,
43:15
right? And I go, well, you're right. I don't
43:17
want to miss that conversation where people are
43:19
comfortable and I'm uncomfortable. But OK. But
43:22
I kept sort of going, why don't
43:24
you just and the girls go to
43:26
brunch and then I'll just slink on
43:28
over to the shop because I was
43:30
jonesing to get over here. to do
43:33
a task that was repetitive, kind
43:35
of boring and unenviable. Like most people, like
43:37
I couldn't get my kids to do it. They'd
43:39
complain too much, you know, but I was
43:41
like, wanted to do it. And I said to
43:43
Drew, I said,
43:45
you know, years ago, and
43:48
I can't remember the syndrome,
43:50
but there's a syndrome that
43:53
humans have where you're physically
43:55
compelled to eat dirt. And
43:57
he shouted it out
44:00
immediately, but it escapes
44:02
me now. But it's
44:04
because you need iron.
44:06
And so you're like, why are you
44:08
eating dirt? That doesn't seem good.
44:11
And the person would be like, I
44:13
don't know why I want to
44:15
eat dirt, but I want to eat
44:17
dirt. And then it's your body
44:19
telling you, you've got to eat dirt.
44:21
It's like your reptilian brain going,
44:23
you need iron or whatever's in dirt
44:25
that you need this to. to
44:27
eat. Oh, pika. Yeah, it's
44:30
called pika. So I'd always stuck
44:32
in my head, like your body
44:34
will just push you into doing
44:36
something that doesn't make sense or
44:38
doesn't sound attractive to anybody because
44:40
it knows what it needs it.
44:43
You know what I mean? And
44:45
so I was like, why
44:47
am I trying to get out
44:49
a brunch to go sort drywall
44:51
screws in a warehouse? And I
44:54
realized, oh, I need it.
44:56
Yeah, I need it. And and
44:58
and I spent the whole weekend here
45:00
just sorting stuff out and and
45:02
like Sunday I was just here alone
45:04
like all day just kind of
45:06
sorting stuff and looking at stuff and
45:08
I was like doesn't feel like
45:10
a good use of my time per
45:12
se you know if you break
45:14
it down I would get thousands of
45:16
dollars an hour to do what
45:18
I do for a living this is
45:20
nothing this is kind of grunt
45:22
scrub Stuff, you know pay somebody pay
45:25
some kid to do it, you
45:27
know Why are you doing it? You
45:29
know and then I was like
45:31
I need it and and I'm compelled
45:33
to do it and and I
45:35
think people are ignoring that thing That
45:37
they they got to get back
45:39
to it. Yeah, and they're going nuts
45:41
and they're not getting out and
45:43
You know for a lot of people
45:45
it can be nature, but for
45:47
me it's like I like organizing and
45:49
fixing and you sort of hacked
45:51
your brain into a in getting dopamine
45:54
from tasking and accomplishing tasks. I
45:56
noticed yesterday I got a bunch of
45:58
like weird odds and ends, like
46:00
busy work. You know, I love holding
46:02
the pads. I love working the
46:04
guys out. I love trying out, but
46:06
I just did some adulting. And
46:08
I suddenly was like, wow, I feel
46:10
great afterwards. It's something that's
46:12
kind of lost in the internet age. That's
46:14
how I always feel, yeah. You feel
46:16
like you accomplished something. You work with your
46:19
hands or even if it was something
46:21
minor, you feel like you achieved. box. Yeah.
46:23
Yeah, people, it's being Um,
46:26
swept under the rug. It's not
46:28
being talked about. It's not like a
46:31
political subject, you know, it says
46:33
nothing. No one ever brings it up.
46:35
No one, you know, we've removed
46:37
all the shop classes from the junior
46:39
high schools. We got away, but
46:41
then we decided that everyone's greatest life
46:43
would be to learn coding. Yeah.
46:45
You know what I mean? That isn't
46:47
it. Those people kill themselves. They
46:49
get fat. And they go nuts and
46:51
they get addicted to the internet
46:53
and everything else. Like sitting and coding
46:55
is not what we're meant to
46:57
do. We're meant to be on our
47:00
feet doing things with purpose. And
47:02
a little is what Drew calls a
47:04
little ordinary misery. Just a little
47:06
bit of that. You've got to sprinkle
47:08
that in all the time. And
47:10
also there's like a thing where you
47:12
need a sense. I
47:14
was. looking around back
47:16
here on a Sunday.
47:18
And I pulled this big
47:20
banner out, five, six
47:22
foot tall by like 14 feet. And it
47:24
was a big vinyl banner from, I don't
47:26
know what, when we did some car show
47:28
somewhere to put up at the booth or
47:31
whatever. And I like looked at
47:33
it and I was like, I'm gonna
47:35
hang this thing up here. And I was
47:37
just alone. It was kind of a
47:39
two manner because it was big, you know?
47:41
And I was like, hmm. All
47:43
right, I'm doing this. And I just kind
47:45
of worked it out. Like I was like, all
47:47
right, what do I do? I'm going to
47:49
use zip ties. I'm to use wire. But how
47:51
am I going to hold this thing up? It's
47:55
kind of a two manner. But
47:57
I think I figure this one
47:59
out. And then the ladder was a
48:01
little sketchy and a lot of
48:03
guys had gone down. And
48:06
so I got the ladder, but it wasn't
48:08
quite right. So I brought the door chalk from
48:10
the front and put it under the thing.
48:12
So it wouldn't slide on me and so blah,
48:14
blah, blah. And then it took
48:16
a while, but I did it. Yeah. And
48:18
then at some point, my girlfriend came to
48:20
pick me up and she like walked around
48:22
and she's like, she says, this is huge
48:24
banner hanging there. She goes, you,
48:26
you, you did that. You put that
48:29
up and I go, yeah, she did alone.
48:31
I go, yeah, I did alone. She
48:33
goes, wow. And I go, uh.
48:35
Wow, that felt good. Just that little laugh.
48:37
And then she roamed up and she
48:39
goes, you're going to kill yourself. All
48:41
right. But that little moment where someone
48:43
goes, you did the thing with that. And
48:46
I live for that. Like
48:48
when I worked, there'd
48:52
be, like when I work construct, there'd
48:54
be a huge pile of drywall in
48:56
the driveway. and and the foreman
48:58
guide go like I'm going to cherry lumber start
49:00
moving the drywall up and upstairs and put in
49:02
the master bedroom and I go okay and then
49:04
he'd leave and I go I'm gonna get it
49:06
all up. Yes. I'm gonna get it all up
49:09
there and then he'd come back and he'd go
49:11
we're you you got all up there and I
49:13
go yes I did you know you did that
49:15
you shove you got all and then I've only
49:17
been gone for an hour and I go yep
49:19
got all yeah wow. versus
49:21
now, which is weird when I see everyone that
49:23
I go, go do this thing or clean this
49:25
thing. And they go, OK. And then at some
49:27
point I come back and I go, hey, this
49:29
looks like crap. You didn't do it. And they
49:31
go, yeah, OK. But I'm like, why?
49:33
I don't know why. Why don't you want
49:35
that feeling? Yeah. What is that? I got
49:37
to show the show the guy the move,
49:40
show the guy the move, show the guy
49:42
the move over and over again, over again.
49:44
Then he bust it and sparring. And then
49:46
there's just a quick glance over at me.
49:48
Yeah. That's it. Like, yeah. Like, don't say
49:50
anything, bud. Get back to work. Yes. Yeah.
49:52
Yes. What that feeling, which feels
49:54
good, versus almost everyone I deal with, where
49:56
I just circle back around. I go, you
49:59
didn't do what I told you to do,
50:01
and you didn't do it right. And it's
50:03
still a mess. And they go, OK. Yeah.
50:05
That's weird, right? And that's that feeling I
50:07
used to get helping my uncle's roof. Like,
50:09
what it reminded me of, they did have
50:11
these big packs of shingles that weighed like
50:13
60 pounds. Yeah. And like, you'd have
50:15
to bring them up the ladder. And I remember it was like,
50:18
you can only take one of those at a time. And it
50:20
was that thing where I'm like, I can probably get to, you
50:22
know, I'll find a way to. Mine were
50:24
40. They're 40 pound, 40 pound. And
50:26
then I walk up the stairs. You go
50:28
up the ladder, you shimmy up there.
50:30
But you're like, I did it and I
50:32
got them. It's so weird because there's
50:34
so many tools now. Like, where
50:36
was that? Where was that? I go
50:38
by job sites. I see the conveyor belt
50:40
now. They just put the roof. They
50:42
just all go right top. I see guys
50:44
walk around. They got the drywall dolly,
50:47
you know, just like, why was I, why
50:49
did I have the drywall on my
50:51
head? Like I was some, first
50:53
off, like it was 500 years
50:55
ago and I was getting
50:57
water, you know, in Africa with
50:59
a cord on my head.
51:01
Like, why was I, we, we
51:03
had to, Sheath,
51:06
you know, from roofing, sheathing, also roofing.
51:08
By the way, they charge roofing, they
51:10
go by the square, which is 10
51:12
foot by 10 foot, 100 square feet.
51:14
So people would know if you talk
51:16
to roofers, they go, how much is
51:18
square? How much is wave square? What's
51:20
the cost? What's that roofing? What's the
51:22
three tab presidential cost versus the 10
51:25
year, the 10 year
51:27
tar one or whatever they
51:29
go, is this much a
51:31
square, they'll talk in square.
51:33
So I was doing. earthquake
51:35
rehab downtown and we had
51:37
to sheath an entire huge
51:39
apartment building's roof. We had
51:42
to sheath it with plywood, tear
51:44
up the old plywood and skin it. We
51:48
figured out how to get
51:50
the, how to get like 500
51:52
sheets of plywood onto a
51:54
roof of a four story building.
51:56
No genie lift, no crane,
51:58
no nothing. It took the whole
52:00
crew, two guys, Sorry,
52:04
one guy on
52:06
each fire escape
52:08
platform. Yeah. Two
52:10
guys at the bottom with
52:12
the huge pallets of plywood, they'd
52:14
send it up to the
52:16
first and all you did was
52:18
stand there for probably about
52:20
four hours and just neck sheet.
52:22
Yeah, neck sheet. You just
52:25
grabbed it. You're leaning over the fire escape.
52:27
The sheet comes up, you grab it, slide
52:29
it up as high as you can get
52:31
it, and the next dude reaches down and
52:33
grab it. And there's some dude at the
52:35
top fire escape who then throws it to
52:37
the dude on the roof. That's
52:39
how, that's how we did it.
52:41
Like ants. Like ants. Yes.
52:44
Exactly. Same way that if they'd invented
52:46
plywood a thousand years ago, that's
52:48
the same way they would have got
52:50
it to the room. Two -tuck common
52:52
would be making you put that
52:54
plywood to the pyramid. And now there's
52:56
all this ergonomically correct everything. Didn't
52:58
have any of it. Even
53:00
the tools, like you hold a cordless drill
53:02
now, it's meant for your hands. It's
53:05
got a little rubber thing on it, shape
53:07
to the right. Stuff was just. cold
53:09
and hard and square and here you go.
53:11
It wasn't any of it. We didn't
53:13
even have gloves for stuff. They
53:15
got like 30 different style of gloves
53:17
now. They're like, are you doing rough?
53:20
Are you doing finish? Are you doing
53:22
surgery? We'll give you the
53:24
glove you need. We didn't have
53:26
gloves like you change transmission fluency. It's
53:29
just all over the place,
53:31
right? Yeah. You kids. And
53:34
now they won't even do it. You can't
53:36
even get people to do construction anymore. Yeah.
53:39
And if you, if you, your girlfriend said, you're
53:41
going to kill yourself doing it, but at least you
53:43
die doing something you love, doing something that you
53:45
should have had two people there helping. I
53:47
know. Well, I've, the only time,
53:49
the times I've always sort of. Almost
53:51
died was the definitely a two -maner.
53:53
Yeah, and I was doing it
53:55
I was going solo on a two
53:57
-maner that that was definitely can't wait
53:59
for somebody to show up And
54:01
so it was like I'm staring at
54:04
this huge banner and I'm looking
54:06
up where I want to put it
54:08
and I'm like Okay, but I
54:10
can't get I need to do this
54:12
now is what I was thinking
54:14
and I can't get anyone to do
54:16
it and then people everyone else
54:18
would go Do a Monday
54:20
when someone's here Make sure
54:22
you don't die to just
54:24
hold the ladder Yes Pike
54:26
as a compulsive eating disorder
54:28
which people eat non -food
54:30
items. Yeah, uh -huh like ashes
54:32
I've seen yeah, it's some
54:34
strange stuff. Yeah, so but
54:37
basically I'm using as a
54:39
metaphor which is your your
54:41
body will tell you what
54:43
you need to do and
54:45
I live in
54:47
a world of ideas and
54:49
arguments and jokes and
54:51
nothingness and thoughts. And
54:54
I'm like, I need to do silent,
54:56
quiet, boring, repetitive, task oriented with a
54:58
goal. Like I have to then step
55:00
back and go. Oh, what's up? Yeah,
55:02
you know anything like that embroidery not
55:04
embroidery, but even small time I rent
55:06
like I live in an apartment in
55:08
Toluca like I've learned where it is
55:11
like the other day There's if something
55:13
breaks in the apartment like you know
55:15
the dishwasher like a towel rack broke
55:17
off the wall the brackets broke I
55:19
know I can call the maintenance person
55:21
to do that, but there's that thing
55:23
where it's just like now I've timed
55:25
it. I'm gonna I want to do
55:28
it myself, whatever it is. Yeah.
55:30
So there's just those little things where it's
55:32
like, I just want to feel like I
55:34
fixed it myself rather than rather than calling
55:36
somebody and then I'm just, you know, hanging
55:38
out or. Yeah, sometimes I just punch a
55:40
hole in the wall so you. Just so
55:42
you can drive well there. Yeah. He
55:45
gets his girlfriend to dump him just so
55:47
he can do some drive well work. to feel
55:49
some rage, yeah. Got
55:51
a troll? You know, you know, it's
55:53
interesting. I'm writing down something I was
55:55
trying to think of when I was
55:58
talking to Drew, but this is a
56:00
good point that you stumbled onto. You
56:02
should get a merit badge for stumbling on at this point. I'll
56:04
just see if I have that one. Ryan
56:08
Reynolds here for Mint Mobile.
56:11
The message for everyone paying
56:13
big wireless way too much.
56:15
Please for the love of
56:17
everything good in this world,
56:19
stop. With Mint you can
56:21
get premium wireless for just
56:23
$15 a month. Of course if
56:26
you enjoy overpaying, no judgments,
56:28
but that's joy overpaying.
56:30
No judgments, but that's
56:32
weird. Okay, one judgment.
56:34
Anyway, give it a
56:36
try at mintmobile.com, Okay, if
56:39
you if you rent and If
56:41
you have a modern car Then
56:43
you're never gonna know what it's
56:45
like to go put a coat
56:47
of paint on the fence in
56:49
the back or the fascia Or
56:51
fix up the thing or put
56:53
some tile down in the spare
56:55
bathroom, whatever because your renter and
56:57
you're driving a car that is
56:59
either electric or runs off computer
57:01
chips. You pop the hood, you
57:03
just see a big plastic cover.
57:05
You don't even see any moving
57:07
parts. Now, we drove
57:10
cars that you fixed
57:12
yourself, you know, and there was a lot
57:14
of like, and if you,
57:16
we lived in old houses, we
57:19
used to have chimneys. And so
57:21
we'd be like, you'd have to go fix
57:23
stuff. Like, so we didn't have any money. And
57:25
so there's like, A lot of guys that
57:27
grew up with, I mean, you know, a common
57:29
thing would be, I'd be like, what are
57:31
you doing this weekend? And they'd be like, well,
57:33
I'm going to put a set of spark
57:35
plugs in my truck, you know, I got to
57:37
get them, I got to gap them, I
57:39
got to put them in, and I'm going to
57:41
rebuild the carburetor, you know, and then that
57:43
dude would just be rebuilding his carburetor all weekend.
57:46
And there's no carburetor to rebuild
57:48
anymore. And if you're renting, so
57:50
if you're like a young person. and
57:53
you're living in Los Angeles for sure, you're
57:55
renting, because it's way too
57:57
expensive for a house, and you're
57:59
Ubering around, or you got some
58:02
Mini Cooper that's two years old
58:04
that you never, you don't even
58:06
know where the engine is on
58:08
that thing. And now you've removed
58:10
two major tactile sanity things that
58:12
you think you've avoided. You think
58:14
you avoided having to do the
58:16
spark plugs. Carb jet
58:18
the carburetor whether but you didn't
58:20
you're getting sedentary. Yeah, and your
58:23
brain started to eat itself and
58:25
I was talking to Drew about
58:27
it. I think and I was
58:29
talking to me was talking to
58:31
Jane Moore about it, but I
58:33
realized just the concept of Having
58:35
a bike that you had to
58:37
constantly work on like when I
58:39
was a kid I was constantly
58:41
fixing on ranching on my bike,
58:43
but also the concept of forts
58:45
Oh, yeah. Forts were a big
58:47
part of my childhood. It was
58:49
like digging in the dirt and
58:51
putting up, finding stuff, you know,
58:53
to act as a barrier, you
58:55
know. I'm with you, yeah. And
58:57
we built forts. Rock Wars. Yeah,
58:59
we got in every war. OK. And
59:02
we would try to do more dirt
59:04
clods. Yeah, we weren't as vicious as
59:06
you guys were. But we had dirt
59:08
clod fights big time, and we had
59:10
to build a fort in order to
59:12
protect yourself. And... It
59:14
was a thing. It was like a
59:16
thing you put yourself into. And not only
59:18
did you get the experience of building
59:20
the fort, but you're
59:23
in the dirt. Your
59:25
immune system was working because you
59:27
were shoveling through the dirt. And
59:29
so the other thing kids
59:31
don't do that we had to
59:34
do was we had to
59:36
do. We did forts and we
59:38
did models. Oh, yeah.
59:40
Kids don't do models anymore.
59:42
Model is like, take it,
59:44
take it apart. Yep. Segregate
59:46
it and label it and figure
59:48
it out. Read the instructions. Kind of
59:50
go in order. Kind of got
59:52
Minecraft now. Yeah. That's similar. That's like
59:54
what it is today. And you'd
59:56
paint the little stuff. Yeah. And you'd
59:58
get the little testers glue and
1:00:00
huff it a little bit. Yeah. A
1:00:03
little high. But it was a
1:00:05
thing. It was like a task. Yeah. You
1:00:07
know, was a big thing. So
1:00:09
between like models and forts and working
1:00:11
on your BMX bike and stuff, you're
1:00:13
pretty tacked up. Like you're good. And
1:00:16
then there's all the sports and all
1:00:18
that outdoor stuff. And now they're like,
1:00:20
I don't go outside. The sun's bad
1:00:22
for you. And there's no models anymore.
1:00:24
And there's just screens everywhere. And I
1:00:26
think kids are starting to eat their
1:00:29
own brains. And
1:00:31
they need the Eagle
1:00:33
scouts. Yeah, yeah. Where
1:00:35
is the Eagles is it easier to
1:00:37
become Eagle Scout now you're so I
1:00:39
honestly don't know I don't know if
1:00:41
they've lowered the the requirements for it
1:00:43
I just know that Something about the
1:00:45
attitude of the scouting seems to have
1:00:47
changed so I don't know what the
1:00:49
actual requirements are these days And
1:00:52
I think it does I mean
1:00:54
scouting it's basically gonna do it's essentially
1:00:56
what the Oscars did they're like
1:00:58
we want to be super inclusive We
1:01:00
want to represent all and then
1:01:02
at some point kids go. Yes. Yeah,
1:01:04
I don't want to do it
1:01:06
Yeah, I don't need to be a
1:01:08
scout. I don't need to watch
1:01:10
the Oscars because who cares? Yeah, I
1:01:12
ruined it trying to homogenize the
1:01:14
culture, you know a lot of advanced
1:01:16
cult like Japan like women are
1:01:18
proud to be women yeah and do
1:01:20
womenly duties and that's like a
1:01:22
real thing and men are happy to
1:01:24
be manly and it functions Okay.
1:01:27
Yeah. We had a system. Yeah. worked
1:01:29
pretty good. Yeah. And we tested
1:01:31
it for like, I don't know, 10
1:01:33
,000 years and it worked pretty good.
1:01:35
Yeah. And then the last 15
1:01:37
minutes, somebody had some thoughts about changing
1:01:39
the system and now everyone's fat
1:01:41
and cuts on themselves. So I
1:01:43
don't know. Maybe they knew something. Maybe
1:01:45
the old white folks knew something. That's
1:01:47
all. Speaking
1:01:49
of old white, I was
1:01:51
watching Michelle Obama. on her
1:01:53
podcast, who has this
1:01:55
weird, everything with
1:01:58
hers through some sort of racial
1:02:00
lens all the time, which
1:02:02
is just a weird, like
1:02:04
she'll say it, she'll go, well, you don't
1:02:06
know what it's like to be black and
1:02:08
be invisible. And then someone will
1:02:10
go like, well, like, what are you
1:02:12
talking about? You're the first lady or something.
1:02:14
She'll, well, the other day I was
1:02:17
buying frozen yogurt and somebody. went
1:02:19
in front of me in life. And I'm like,
1:02:21
oh yeah, that never happened to white people. It's
1:02:23
like, yeah, that's just stuff that
1:02:25
happens all the time to everybody
1:02:27
all the time. You know what
1:02:29
I mean? Like who doesn't have
1:02:32
a story about being, I remember
1:02:34
during COVID when they were doing
1:02:36
the stupid, I don't know, they
1:02:38
were gonna cure COVID by telling
1:02:40
people to stand in different places
1:02:42
or something. Like it was weird.
1:02:44
It's like at the Malibu Whole
1:02:46
Foods or whatever. And their
1:02:48
way to cure COVID was to not have
1:02:50
everyone stand in the checkout line, but
1:02:52
to form a second line that was 10
1:02:54
feet over where they just stood in
1:02:56
line. I don't know why that helped. And
1:02:58
so like I would come strolling up
1:03:00
and go, oh, there's nobody to register, you
1:03:02
know, because I'm coming from the other
1:03:04
direction. And I just go a thing. And
1:03:06
then there's like, excuse me,
1:03:09
excuse me. Excuse you. And
1:03:11
I'm like, what? There's no
1:03:13
waiting. And then I go, no, there's a line.
1:03:18
I think what it is, I think
1:03:20
the Malibu Ho Foods are smart because
1:03:22
they put their line in the hot
1:03:24
deli entree section and you couldn't stand
1:03:26
their smell and Kung Pao chicken for
1:03:28
more than five minutes. I go, let
1:03:30
me get in a little bit. I'm
1:03:32
going to add to this. Yeah, you're
1:03:34
smart. You send that hot deli with
1:03:36
all the hot dishes and you're just
1:03:38
sitting there. You can't. You cannot. You
1:03:41
got to load up. You have to load
1:03:43
up. Salad doesn't smell like
1:03:45
anything, so you can walk past that all
1:03:47
day. But the savory stuff, you're like, let
1:03:49
me get into this here. Smart.
1:03:51
OK, so she is just everything is like
1:03:53
race her. And what confused me about
1:03:55
that is I get maybe making the argument
1:03:58
that she thinks some black people have
1:04:00
to deal with that. But who sees Michelle
1:04:02
Obama at the store and is like,
1:04:04
I'm going to go butt in front of
1:04:06
First Lady Michelle Obama. She
1:04:08
says she was cut off. I
1:04:11
don't know. But this sounds
1:04:13
I just came upon this one
1:04:15
today. But so it's it's
1:04:18
it's you know, like. They're obnoxious,
1:04:20
they're grandiose, and they're narcissists,
1:04:22
supreme narcissists. And I hate them,
1:04:24
but there is a part
1:04:26
of me that feels sorry for
1:04:28
them that if this is
1:04:30
the way you go through life
1:04:32
and your Ivy League degree
1:04:35
and your... to an ex
1:04:37
president and your seven houses and
1:04:39
your five houses and your Martha's
1:04:41
Vineyard and your Hawaiian compound. If
1:04:43
that doesn't cure it, I just
1:04:45
feel bad for you. I really
1:04:47
do. You still have to walk
1:04:49
around with this racial limp. You're
1:04:52
just constantly, it's as if you
1:04:54
were like molested when you were seven
1:04:56
and you just never, it just
1:04:58
never leaves your mind. and you can't
1:05:00
do anything about it. It's just
1:05:02
this. You know what I mean? Here's
1:05:04
our clip, sorry. We don't articulate
1:05:06
as black women our pain because it's
1:05:08
almost like nobody ever gave us
1:05:10
permission to do that. And does anyone
1:05:12
care? Yeah, there's one.
1:05:15
Hold on. She should go
1:05:17
on the internet because I
1:05:19
see black women articulating their
1:05:21
pain at airports all. I
1:05:23
see black women like. and
1:05:25
airports that are very vividly
1:05:27
articulating themselves because they missed
1:05:29
the flight or somebody disrespected
1:05:31
them. So I would argue
1:05:33
that there are isolated incidents
1:05:35
of Black women expressing themselves.
1:05:37
I would say you could
1:05:39
probably use their phone. It
1:05:41
might take a while, but I could
1:05:43
probably pull up some examples of it for
1:05:45
Michelle to speak up. But then also, it's
1:05:48
not, it's... I'm
1:05:50
now at the point where I don't
1:05:52
blame the person. I blame the
1:05:55
person who sits next to him and
1:05:57
goes, because I would hit them with
1:05:59
a folding chair and go, oh, shut
1:06:01
up. You know what you're talking about.
1:06:03
You have a security detail. Like when
1:06:05
you leave the studio, which one of
1:06:07
the seven houses are you going to?
1:06:09
How about that? Let's say
1:06:11
when you're in Maui at one of
1:06:13
your compounds, can you articulate your pain there
1:06:15
or set a Barthas Vineyard? type situation.
1:06:17
Yeah. All right. So I run it again
1:06:19
just because it's always the person that
1:06:21
goes, hmm, hmm. I love the newscast. I
1:06:23
love it when they go, you know,
1:06:25
these trendy raga guys are being transported back
1:06:27
to Nicaragua, but they can come for
1:06:29
them. They can come for any of us.
1:06:32
Shut up. They're not coming
1:06:34
for you. You'll never
1:06:37
go. I'll tell you what
1:06:39
right now, I will
1:06:41
put up $100 ,000. to
1:06:43
your $40. That's
1:06:46
what I'm going to pay on if
1:06:48
you are swept up and disappeared in
1:06:50
the next five years. How about that?
1:06:52
We'll do that. You want to do
1:06:54
it? You want to take that bet?
1:06:56
Yeah. Which they wouldn't. All right. Sorry.
1:06:58
We'll play it again. We don't articulate
1:07:01
as black women our pain because it's
1:07:03
almost like nobody ever gave us permission
1:07:05
to do that. And does anyone care?
1:07:07
Yeah, there's they care. If
1:07:09
we knew, I think we would
1:07:11
care. If we knew that's a
1:07:13
brother if we knew or you
1:07:15
know, yeah, and and we have
1:07:17
to ask ourselves are the men
1:07:19
in our lives is You know
1:07:22
why wait to be asked? You
1:07:24
know, it seems like what we
1:07:26
go through is pretty obvious I
1:07:28
mean, maybe we're not complaining, but
1:07:30
we're actually living life out loud
1:07:32
You know, you know, we're in
1:07:34
some sort of nether region of
1:07:36
verbiage where I don't even know
1:07:38
what women are talking about half
1:07:40
the time. I know. Yeah. He
1:07:42
just talks. He's the
1:07:45
brother and he knows she's
1:07:47
been living in the White
1:07:49
House. I mean, you know,
1:07:51
I mean, like he's sitting
1:07:53
there. He was working at the target. She's
1:07:55
got to play the hit slow. You
1:07:57
know I mean? Yeah. Asking the Rolling Stones
1:08:00
not to play brown sugar. Yeah. Good.
1:08:02
Oh, good, good connection there. But you know,
1:08:04
the brother, you know, that
1:08:06
brother has watched her in the
1:08:08
last 20 years, right?
1:08:14
Crying a river about your
1:08:16
pain. He's going back
1:08:18
in his 92 Buick that
1:08:20
he got from Oprah. He's
1:08:23
going back to his apartment is
1:08:25
rent controlled one bedroom outside at DC.
1:08:27
Well, she gets her security detail
1:08:29
and climbs in the back a limo
1:08:31
and flies an airport Air Air
1:08:33
Force three somewhere. You know, she's like,
1:08:35
you know, he wants to jump
1:08:37
in, but he he can't say anything
1:08:39
because he wouldn't have a podcast
1:08:41
otherwise. That's
1:08:43
so good. She's our ticking. I
1:08:46
always love this thing where people are like,
1:08:48
we don't feel like we have the right to speak.
1:08:50
It's like, all you do is talk. She has a
1:08:52
podcast. That's all you do. I know. Not
1:08:55
to be fair, I am tuned out,
1:08:57
and I am not listening, and I
1:08:59
do not feel your pain. That is
1:09:01
correct, but you do talk a lot.
1:09:03
There's a lot of talking going on.
1:09:06
All right, we'll take a break. We got
1:09:08
some news, and we'll do that right after
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We've done your homework. In
1:13:05
addition to being a writer, I also have
1:13:07
two karate trophies and three weightlifting trophies, because I
1:13:09
don't know if you guys know this, but
1:13:11
you can just go to the store and buy
1:13:13
trophies. Adam Yenzer
1:13:15
is on the Adam Karola show. Adam's
1:13:17
got a very funny dry bar
1:13:19
special, not big enough to cancel, and
1:13:21
that's out. And then mine is
1:13:24
out when I would tell people where
1:13:26
to go, but it's not on
1:13:28
me. Little screen anymore, but I would
1:13:30
argue you can just leave information
1:13:32
on there for me. Yeah angel app
1:13:34
I believe it is the angel
1:13:36
apps where you can go you can
1:13:38
one is Right there. It's free.
1:13:40
You can watch my dry bar special
1:13:42
there and the others You have
1:13:44
to get the app. It's you have
1:13:46
to subscribe but one's there and
1:13:48
you can just go watch and the
1:13:50
other is behind it And you
1:13:53
know what you can buy trophies. Yeah,
1:13:55
cuz I just set them on
1:13:57
the shelf I recreated
1:13:59
a few of my trophies. I think
1:14:01
I had a girlfriend that did it
1:14:03
later on in life. She got tired
1:14:05
of hearing my story about. I
1:14:07
got trophies and unicycles because I
1:14:09
had such a hard luck. I
1:14:11
got such a hard luck story
1:14:13
about unicycles and I had a
1:14:15
hard luck story about trophies. And
1:14:18
at some point people got tired
1:14:20
of my hard luck stories and
1:14:22
started just giving me trophies. that
1:14:24
were recreations of the ones I
1:14:26
threw away or lost or whatever
1:14:28
from back in the day. So
1:14:31
that's you can you can am I
1:14:33
would get them from there was some comedy.
1:14:35
Festival or competition I did years ago
1:14:37
and they had trophies for first thing in
1:14:39
third place But they were just they
1:14:41
bought like it was like a girl softball
1:14:44
girl on top and it just says
1:14:46
you know first place Chicago World Series or
1:14:48
comedy or something So I have that
1:14:50
on my shelf just a girl softball, but
1:14:52
it's a comedy I guess at the
1:14:54
I guess at the trophy shop They don't
1:14:56
really have the comedy. Like a guy
1:14:58
with a mic or something. Yeah,
1:15:01
a dude's open the store. Yeah,
1:15:04
it appears to me that they have
1:15:06
like a comedy tragedy mask thing for
1:15:08
some sort of drama. That feels more
1:15:10
theater drama. But that's about all. I
1:15:12
would be more embarrassed of that than
1:15:14
a girl saw. Yeah, girls. How
1:15:17
do you know it was a girl?
1:15:19
Because it's got the pony thing. It's got
1:15:21
the little figure. It's got the little
1:15:23
figure on top. Oh, OK. All right, mayhem
1:15:26
news. We got some news, animals in
1:15:28
the news, a sunshine state. resident took the
1:15:30
reddit to share their frightening experience with
1:15:32
two creepy reptiles that came up to the
1:15:34
home's front door. Oh, really? All captured
1:15:36
on their family's ring camera. Are they alligators?
1:15:38
Alligators, yep, alligators there in Florida.
1:15:40
Oh, we're going to watch. Oh, they're coming.
1:15:42
Wow. Are they in the house? No, no,
1:15:45
this is in the. Oh, that's the porch.
1:15:47
porch, yeah. They're hanging out. They must be
1:15:49
looking for dog food or something. They're like,
1:15:51
what are they doing? Yeah, it's undetermined, but
1:15:53
they were out there for a while. You
1:15:55
know what I, you know, here's my thing.
1:15:57
I was thinking about this the other day.
1:16:00
We talk a lot about... know,
1:16:02
Jurassic Park and dinosaurs and stuff
1:16:04
like that. It's trying to climb
1:16:06
the wall. to get in the house. It's
1:16:09
like Jurassic Park. It's trying to
1:16:11
learn to use the handle and open
1:16:13
the door. Get smarter, clever girls.
1:16:15
Do we need dinosaurs? We have alligators.
1:16:17
Like, we have them. They get
1:16:20
up to, like, 18 foot. They've
1:16:22
outlasted dinosaurs. They were before...
1:16:24
This style of animal was popular
1:16:26
before dinosaurs and remained after.
1:16:28
That's my argument. Like, we have
1:16:30
dinosaurs. They're called alligators. They're
1:16:32
covered with scales. They're huge. They're
1:16:34
scary. They're billion years old. They'll eat
1:16:37
your pet or you. It doesn't
1:16:39
matter. Like, what do we really need
1:16:41
a dinosaur for? I
1:16:43
mean, like I said, it's cool. Like,
1:16:45
I take it. But an alligator
1:16:47
is just a dinosaur. Yeah. And
1:16:49
it predates it. Yeah, I guess. Will you
1:16:52
come down on woolly mammoths if they can
1:16:54
hook that up? I would like a pterodactyl.
1:16:56
All right, me too, yeah. Although...
1:16:58
If they bring back pterodactyls, we're
1:17:00
all gone. Birds
1:17:02
hate us already. And
1:17:04
birds are the size of a lunch
1:17:06
pail and will take you down.
1:17:08
Now, if they get the size of
1:17:10
a tractor trailer, something, we're gone.
1:17:12
You're eating french fries at the beach
1:17:14
in a pterodactyl. You'll
1:17:17
be the french fries. Yeah, you
1:17:19
are done. Best
1:17:22
I can tell, birds hate birds.
1:17:24
and they hate other birds and
1:17:26
they hate everything. They're just, they're
1:17:28
angry at every living creature. They
1:17:30
don't like cats or like dogs
1:17:32
or like people and they do
1:17:34
not like other birds. I mean,
1:17:36
I see birds, you know, the
1:17:38
hawks flying and the crows chasing
1:17:40
it and knocking at it, you
1:17:42
know, circling around and picking on
1:17:44
it. So birds hate
1:17:46
everything. They're the meanest creatures and
1:17:48
The only thing that stopped them
1:17:50
from eating us is they can't
1:17:52
physically do it, but if they
1:17:54
could, I think they would kill
1:17:56
us for sport. I think
1:17:59
even like vegan pterodactyls would take
1:18:01
us and just throw us in a
1:18:03
volcano. They're just taking people's heads
1:18:05
off. They just take people's heads off.
1:18:07
They hate people. They would hate
1:18:09
people. Yeah. All right. Cool. I
1:18:11
watched footage. I
1:18:14
don't think I even liked it, but
1:18:16
I saw a footage of a 74 -year -old
1:18:18
guy. going to a pond
1:18:20
and pull his puppy out of an alligator's
1:18:22
mouth earlier today. Yeah. Well, I saw one
1:18:24
earlier this week. I don't know if it
1:18:26
was that one. In Florida, there was some
1:18:28
guy and he was barefoot and he just
1:18:30
went out and got like a big rubber
1:18:32
maiden. trash can. Yeah. He came and got
1:18:34
the alligator himself. Yeah. Yeah. It reminded me
1:18:37
of what we were talking about earlier, where
1:18:39
it's like, oh, I could call animal control,
1:18:41
but I'll take care of it. I gotta
1:18:43
do something. I'll get the alligator. Yeah.
1:18:45
Not getting your ankle. Oh, yeah. That's
1:18:47
rolled off. This guy looked like he
1:18:50
was at a golf course, maybe. Yeah.
1:18:52
And this alligator, small alligators, got his
1:18:54
puppy. Yeah. And his mouth. Yup.
1:18:57
And he just prized his jaws. Prized
1:18:59
his jaws open. And look how
1:19:01
tough it is, and that's a tiny
1:19:03
alligator. Oh, if he ate my
1:19:05
puppy, I'd rush to the
1:19:07
pet store just to get a
1:19:10
new puppy. Like, I'm not going into
1:19:12
a swamp. That's
1:19:14
just Darwin. swamp you can't see the bottom
1:19:16
of. Yeah. Oh, he's still got
1:19:18
a cigar in his mouth? Yeah, like a boss.
1:19:20
I love this dude. Yeah, this dude is
1:19:22
pretty awesome. You know what I like about this
1:19:24
guy, though? See, he's always got a good. story.
1:19:27
Yeah. You know what I mean? Oh, yeah. And also,
1:19:29
he's going to get into it. Like, I use, I'll
1:19:31
tell you what I use. You were talking about, like,
1:19:34
task rabbit or something, you know? I
1:19:38
put a Lamborghini, a
1:19:41
vintage Mura Lamborghini, I put it
1:19:43
in my office. I just built a
1:19:45
building, designed it, built the lift,
1:19:47
put it in the office, you know?
1:19:49
And so, every once in a while, people say
1:19:51
to me, like, someone will go, like, are
1:19:54
you going to hang that bookshelf up there or
1:19:56
whatever? And I go, I'll hang it up
1:19:58
there. And then someone will go, all right, shouldn't
1:20:00
we have the task rabbit guy, like a
1:20:02
guy who knows? And I go, I put a
1:20:04
Lamborghini in my own. And then they shut
1:20:06
up. Everyone just shuts up and walks away, right?
1:20:08
Because I put a Lamborghini my own. So
1:20:11
this guy is going to be sitting around, and
1:20:13
his wife's going to be screwing with him,
1:20:15
you know? Like, Earl, why don't we let somebody
1:20:17
else re -saw it? I took that puppy out
1:20:19
of the mouth. of an
1:20:21
alligator. So you don't think I'm up to
1:20:23
saw it in the lawn? You know, well,
1:20:25
you're gonna, you don't think I'm up there.
1:20:27
Like he's got it all the time. Like
1:20:29
when, or it's like the neighbors are playing
1:20:32
the music too loud. He's going, I'm going
1:20:34
to go over there and then his wife's
1:20:36
going, don't bother. You're going to get your
1:20:38
ass kicked. Okay. I took that dog out
1:20:40
of the mouth. I went into a swamp,
1:20:42
fished an alligator out. didn't put my cigar
1:20:44
down, didn't put my cigar down, and then
1:20:46
took the puppy out of the mouth of
1:20:48
the alligator. That's the other side of
1:20:50
Florida Man. That's the Florida Man, by
1:20:53
the way. the Florida Man. He's probably got
1:20:55
that image on his home screen, on
1:20:57
his phone. Just here, remember this. I would,
1:20:59
yeah. He took a rest upon the
1:21:01
floor, he's on to the next puppy out
1:21:03
of the next mouth. Yeah, yeah, and
1:21:05
he's probably like the grandkids around, and he's
1:21:07
like, I'll make him waffles, and his
1:21:09
wife's like, you don't try to, you're gonna
1:21:11
screw, okay, remember, you're talking to the
1:21:13
guy, took the puppy out of the, of
1:21:15
the alligator. Remember that? Check the screensaver
1:21:17
on your computer. Okay, that's this eye. Without
1:21:19
put the scar. I waited in the
1:21:21
water and the cigar didn't go in. And
1:21:24
the pup, I guess, just ran away.
1:21:27
I guess. I mean, I mean, was
1:21:29
okay. This is what I'm saying. Yes.
1:21:32
All right. What else? All right. Next up,
1:21:34
uh, Kennedy plans to remove artificial dyes from
1:21:36
food and drinks by the end of next
1:21:38
year. He's Hitler. Yeah. 36
1:21:40
food dyes, nine of which
1:21:42
are artificial made from petroleum. So
1:21:44
they are completely doing away
1:21:46
with that. Uh, for companies that
1:21:48
are currently using petroleum based
1:21:50
red dye, they say try watermelon
1:21:52
juice or beet juice. Uh,
1:21:54
for companies. Currently, combining
1:21:56
petroleum -based yellow, chemical, and red
1:21:59
dyes, try carrot juice. So there's
1:22:01
alternatives that are natural. There's
1:22:03
nothing more powerful than
1:22:05
beet juice, because... I know.
1:22:08
You eat Cheetos, they're orange, but the
1:22:10
next day in the toilet, that ain't
1:22:12
orange. But beets, they'll go right
1:22:14
through. They make it all the way
1:22:16
through. They make it
1:22:18
down to the sewage treatment plant,
1:22:20
and they're still red. So you
1:22:22
can't go, you can't go better
1:22:25
and beat. You're calling your proctologists
1:22:27
just checking. Oh, well, that's
1:22:29
why I invented the beat bracelet. I
1:22:32
tell you about the beat bracelet. I'm sorry.
1:22:34
No, I missed that one. It's an old
1:22:36
joke, but I. I
1:22:38
love beets. And by the way,
1:22:40
I'll eat three beets now. It's
1:22:43
like, I'll buy a beet the
1:22:45
size of a softball, takes
1:22:47
like four hours to boil it, man.
1:22:49
But I'll get the size, I'll chop
1:22:51
that up. I'll salt it up. I'll
1:22:53
put a little vinegar, a little oil,
1:22:55
whatever. I love it. I'll eat it.
1:22:57
But the next day on the pot.
1:22:59
I forgot I ate the beef. And
1:23:02
that's where you look down and go, oh,
1:23:05
call the kids. Get our kids
1:23:07
in the room. Bring them toilet
1:23:09
side. I want to talk to them. I've got to
1:23:11
say my last word. Get my
1:23:13
practical Bible, my Tony
1:23:15
Penancey. And that note,
1:23:17
let's go. So.
1:23:22
So, I invented the beet bracelet,
1:23:24
which is when you order the
1:23:26
beet salad at the restaurant that
1:23:28
night, it comes with the beet
1:23:30
bracelet. I'm only talking about boondoggle
1:23:32
style as those beads are. I
1:23:34
call it Beats by Ace. Yeah.
1:23:36
And it's a Lance Armstrong style.
1:23:38
It's purple. Her red purple.
1:23:40
It's just a rubber band. He just
1:23:42
put it on. And then you're
1:23:44
good. Right? And
1:23:46
then you remember. Now it's funny. And
1:23:49
you would run into other people had a
1:23:51
beat bracelet like on the elevator. So you'd
1:23:53
go, hey. That's
1:23:56
funny. Yeah, it's like
1:23:58
a hospital bracelet. Also, if somebody else
1:24:01
uses the bathroom after you and they
1:24:03
wonder what happened. Yeah, he's he has
1:24:05
a condition for the day. Yeah, let
1:24:07
him give a few minutes. You don't
1:24:09
want to let it out. He's got
1:24:11
to be bracelet. Yeah. Yeah,
1:24:13
they're doing away with the
1:24:15
artificial dyes by the end of
1:24:17
next year. Good. And who
1:24:19
cares? And also what I don't
1:24:22
I don't have any. There's
1:24:25
nothing. From
1:24:27
my mom who was like
1:24:29
original health food hippie When they
1:24:32
had like health food stores
1:24:34
and stuff and it was like
1:24:36
weird and everything was sort
1:24:38
of off Market like it wasn't
1:24:40
a trend, you know, but
1:24:42
The only thing that ever stuck
1:24:44
with me in terms of
1:24:46
her but it was also just
1:24:48
who I was is I
1:24:50
didn't like fake stuff like I
1:24:52
never I'd see kids Young
1:24:54
kids and they'd be eating craft
1:24:56
singles of cheese, you know, and they'd
1:24:58
be they drinking sunny D, you
1:25:00
know, and I'd go You got any
1:25:02
real orange juice? I go sunny
1:25:05
D. It's better. You know, I don't
1:25:07
know. It's not it's weird It's
1:25:09
weird and I go you got any
1:25:11
got any cheddar cheese and I
1:25:13
go we got cheese Kraft cheese and
1:25:15
I go yeah. No, it's weird.
1:25:17
I it's weird. It's a and what
1:25:19
they've done to nachos I mean
1:25:21
I see people it's weird I was
1:25:24
at the dry bar and the
1:25:26
people I was in the room with,
1:25:28
Mike Augustine, anything, but they'll go
1:25:30
like, we'll get some nachos. I'm like,
1:25:33
nachos needs cheese to melt on
1:25:35
it, not a pump station. Like
1:25:37
that, that's this color. Yeah. Yes.
1:25:39
It's all weird, day glow, whatever. And
1:25:42
it, and it never melts and it doesn't
1:25:44
need to be heated. And it comes in a
1:25:46
bag and you pump it. I
1:25:48
was like, No. And they're
1:25:50
like, you don't like nachos?
1:25:52
I like nachos, but the
1:25:55
chips are round. That's
1:25:57
not a normal shape for a
1:25:59
chip. And the cheese is liquid,
1:26:01
and it's sitting in the back.
1:26:03
And no. And they're like, we
1:26:05
like nachos. But those
1:26:08
aren't nachos. They're not nachos.
1:26:10
And also. We
1:26:12
don't give the right name
1:26:14
because when you're at the ballpark
1:26:16
or the whatever and someone
1:26:18
goes, you like not even get
1:26:21
some nodding. Yeah, I love
1:26:23
nachos. But not this. These aren't
1:26:25
nachos. These are fake chemical
1:26:27
weird nachos that dumb people have
1:26:29
to taste good over generations.
1:26:31
And. Fake orange juice
1:26:33
tastes weird fake cheese take fake
1:26:35
everything orange everything blue and stuff
1:26:37
like why you yeah stuff weird
1:26:39
red red number three which gives
1:26:41
the food and drinks a cherry
1:26:44
color. It's a bright I like
1:26:46
Jimmy's I don't even like Jimmy's I can't
1:26:48
send someone out to buy doughnuts and have
1:26:50
come back with normal doughnuts all red white
1:26:53
blue with the sparklers on top and the
1:26:55
gay flag and stuff and I'm like I
1:26:57
It does. It tastes weird. Why are
1:27:00
you doing this? Why are you
1:27:02
putting much of non nature colors in
1:27:04
your food and then in chess?
1:27:06
Don't I was cream filled. So.
1:27:09
And I guess maybe I don't know. Maybe it's. I
1:27:11
don't know what the reason is if it's a
1:27:13
price thing or whatever, but it's always weird when they
1:27:15
say they're replacing it. It's like, or you can
1:27:17
use carrots. There's always some. Right. Why
1:27:20
did you go to petroleum when
1:27:22
it was where you could use
1:27:24
something that's not petroleum? It's just
1:27:26
cheaper and whatever. There's Dawson. There's
1:27:28
a bag of chips back there.
1:27:31
There's a bag of chip in the
1:27:33
chip basket back there that was. donated
1:27:37
after the fire. I got some sort
1:27:39
of emergency bucket or something that had junk
1:27:41
in it. I don't know.
1:27:43
It had like a snake bite kid,
1:27:46
a mask and chips or something
1:27:48
from the local, whatever that is. Yeah.
1:27:50
Can you hold that up? Let
1:27:52
me see what that is. Yeah. Throw
1:27:54
it in here. I have some
1:27:56
rain here because I stared at this
1:27:58
chip. It's the wrong colors. It's
1:28:00
stuff as a color. Yeah. You know
1:28:02
what I mean? Like it's weird.
1:28:04
It's like, look, if you're a Corvette,
1:28:06
you're a Corvette. You can do
1:28:08
whatever color you want, but there's Chips
1:28:10
and this this chip bag. I
1:28:12
just kept staring at it going. These
1:28:14
are the wrong. Oh, wow. These
1:28:16
are the wrong colors It looks the
1:28:18
chips look blue and it's called
1:28:20
blue heat, but they're chips I was
1:28:22
scared to open it like I
1:28:24
was like this looks like Cleaning pods
1:28:26
come in here, but not stuff
1:28:28
you put your mouth. Yeah, and it's
1:28:30
called blue heat and I guess
1:28:32
they're They're blue. I
1:28:34
now I want to know
1:28:37
so I'm gonna open it
1:28:39
potatoes vegetable oil canola Every
1:28:41
oh everything all the time.
1:28:43
Oh, yeah. Yeah, they're blue.
1:28:45
I don't wanna weird but
1:28:47
why why and then here's
1:28:49
the other thing to What's
1:28:51
appetizing about blue like and
1:28:54
in people do this stuff
1:28:56
all the time to go
1:28:59
It's fun I don't know okay,
1:29:01
so a porterhouse steak may
1:29:03
not be fun, but it's good
1:29:05
with white put a little
1:29:07
red three on it's way more
1:29:09
fun I People disappointed also
1:29:12
found out that they use
1:29:14
a citrus red number two to
1:29:16
make oranges like more orange
1:29:18
It's all marketing like I get
1:29:20
it I get people to
1:29:22
draw their eye to the groceries
1:29:24
and grab I I get
1:29:26
it. It's bad. He's right I
1:29:28
don't know what's going on.
1:29:30
Everyone's fat. Everyone's depressed. Everyone's on
1:29:32
pharmaceuticals. Everyone has on the
1:29:35
spectrum for something. And something's
1:29:37
going on. So let him do it,
1:29:39
everybody. And leave him alone. I mean,
1:29:41
for Christ's sake, just leave the guy
1:29:43
alone. He's trying to do something. By
1:29:45
the way. I just had
1:29:47
four years of watching he she's tell
1:29:49
us about pronouns who did nothing. You
1:29:51
guys did nothing. So I don't know.
1:29:53
I know you're all upset that Elon's
1:29:55
trying to do something in our case.
1:29:57
I know I know you hate seeing
1:30:00
people do stuff, but you guys were
1:30:02
like my mom and the chimney. Just
1:30:04
here we are. Nothing we
1:30:06
can do. Just homeless and traffic.
1:30:08
And here we go. So OK,
1:30:10
someone's trying to do something. And
1:30:12
I realize. It's
1:30:14
upsetting to the process people when you actually show
1:30:16
up and go, what's going on? What are we
1:30:19
doing? They go, what are we doing? We're having
1:30:21
a meeting about a meeting with a meeting. And
1:30:23
you go, I know, I know, but let's go
1:30:25
on. Let's get the chimney going. My mom would
1:30:27
literally get agitated if you like showed up and
1:30:29
went, what's going on? What are we doing here?
1:30:31
Let's get going here. You know, like when I
1:30:33
stood up and I was like, give me the
1:30:35
hair dryer, hold my beer. Everyone's
1:30:37
like, where's he going with the hair dryer?
1:30:39
No, he's fixing the pianos. But I guess
1:30:41
I was shaming all of them and they
1:30:43
didn't like it. But that's
1:30:46
where we're at now. We're going to do stuff.
1:30:48
Blue flames are the hottest
1:30:51
followed by white after that
1:30:53
yellow, orange, and red. There's
1:30:55
a chip. Oh, that's why
1:30:57
the chips are named that. The hottest of
1:30:59
the hot. OK. Not
1:31:03
everything needs. to be
1:31:05
categorized or marked up or
1:31:07
whatever the blue flame. I
1:31:10
agree with you on all this. I'm self
1:31:12
conscious now about doing the Michelle Obama nod to
1:31:14
what when you're like, what's happened to not. You
1:31:17
know, what else is
1:31:19
a blue flame, right?
1:31:22
Hmm. Fart. Yeah. Blue
1:31:24
flame special. Yeah. A
1:31:27
lowly miss epidemic is
1:31:29
the blue flame was
1:31:31
the name. of
1:31:34
the vehicle that had
1:31:36
the world's salt flat
1:31:38
speed record from the
1:31:40
six late 60s early
1:31:42
70s. I think that
1:31:44
rocket car was called
1:31:46
the blue flame. I
1:31:48
think you're right. think you can look you
1:31:50
can look it up. But I think it
1:31:52
was called the blue flame. But I got
1:31:54
to think about that. Maybe Craig breed love
1:31:56
or something. God,
1:31:59
that's a curse, isn't it? What's that?
1:32:02
your husband is obsessed
1:32:04
with the land speed
1:32:06
record and he's in
1:32:08
the garage every waking
1:32:10
moment welding. Right?
1:32:12
Tinkering on all day. Yeah. Is
1:32:15
it called the blue flame? Yeah, it was called the
1:32:17
blue flame. Yeah, it was called the blue flame. These
1:32:20
poor wives. I
1:32:22
think the guy, Craig
1:32:24
Breedlove, I don't know, is that Craig
1:32:26
Breedlove who did it? He built the
1:32:28
blue flame. I think even to the
1:32:30
blue flame. I can't remember but He
1:32:32
built it in his garage and like
1:32:34
our leader who's just out there all
1:32:36
that and and it was so big
1:32:38
That in order to take it out
1:32:40
they had to like take out a
1:32:42
shrub and a wall or something I'm
1:32:44
like saying his wife. What kind of
1:32:46
mood was she? You know what I
1:32:48
mean? There's no money in
1:32:51
it. There's no there's no anything
1:32:53
It's just you get obsessed with
1:32:55
this thing that will probably kill
1:32:57
you one day Oh,
1:32:59
this is driven by Gary Galgabalic
1:33:01
and achieved the World Land
1:33:03
Speed Record in Bonneville, Salt Flats,
1:33:05
Utah in October 1970. So
1:33:07
right about the time my chimney
1:33:09
was coming down. He was
1:33:12
taking down the record. And I
1:33:14
was a little kid going,
1:33:16
that blue flame, look at that.
1:33:18
Man, that is cool. It
1:33:20
was on TV. Probably on Wide
1:33:22
World of Sports. I mean, he.
1:33:27
I mean, this is
1:33:29
1970, and I think this
1:33:31
guy got up to 500 something miles
1:33:33
an hour with this thing. I don't know
1:33:35
if he broke, I don't think he
1:33:37
broke the sound barrier, but he was. His
1:33:39
cheeks were flapping. Well, the speed, I
1:33:41
would include the speed in this little dissertation,
1:33:44
Andrew, just because that's what you're
1:33:46
doing, 630 miles
1:33:48
an hour. Wow, there
1:33:50
you go. Whoa. 1970 all
1:33:52
analog man no computers
1:33:54
just a jet that's three
1:33:56
wheels that's crazed right
1:33:58
yeah And also the thing
1:34:00
that's funny, she's probably
1:34:02
wearing a 1970s open face
1:34:04
helmet. OK, don't forget
1:34:06
your helmet. Yeah, OK. Well,
1:34:09
if the tire blows or
1:34:11
coyote runs out. At 630. Even
1:34:14
if it's a shade under 630.
1:34:16
Let's just say we're in the high
1:34:18
five. I'm not sure this wisp of
1:34:20
fiberglass with the foam rubber in it.
1:34:22
I don't really think. I'd rather look
1:34:25
cool stepping out of this thing. Yeah.
1:34:28
Yeah. So that was. Oh,
1:34:32
hold on. Kilometers,
1:34:35
whatever, speed, FAA. So the
1:34:37
vehicle set FIA world record
1:34:39
for the flying quarter mile. You
1:34:42
gotta do it twice, too. You gotta go one
1:34:44
way and you gotta come back, too. So,
1:34:46
you know, it's not a lark
1:34:48
or something. But anyway, I
1:34:51
can't tell what this is, but,
1:34:53
oh, it's the, yeah, the flying. Kilometer
1:34:55
anyway 630 miles an hour not
1:34:57
too bad not bad at all now
1:34:59
they're up around a thousand really
1:35:02
they're trying to break a thousand miles
1:35:04
an hour British what does that
1:35:06
machine look like you know as it's
1:35:08
I imagine the design has to
1:35:10
be similar has to be low yeah
1:35:12
that one the new one has
1:35:15
four wheels And the last
1:35:17
one was like in the mid or later 90s.
1:35:19
And I don't know, they got up to
1:35:21
like eight or 900 miles an hour. And
1:35:23
they're gonna try to break
1:35:25
a thousand, but I don't
1:35:27
know that they have a
1:35:29
space to do it in
1:35:31
because the salt flats have
1:35:33
like eroded or flooded or
1:35:35
whatever that thing is, which
1:35:38
is, yeah, 763
1:35:40
miles an hour
1:35:42
in 97. That's
1:35:46
about It's about as far
1:35:48
like the only there it is like
1:35:50
the only stand I would ever take for
1:35:52
climate change would be who's gonna set
1:35:54
world speed right? I don't
1:35:56
care about any of the crap you
1:35:58
guys were talking about but I
1:36:00
do need I do need space to
1:36:03
set a record Yeah, that's just
1:36:05
an engine. Oh my goodness. Yeah, they
1:36:07
look like Looney Tunes wacky racer
1:36:09
Yeah, this guy was a British pilot
1:36:11
the British have it so we
1:36:13
don't have the speed record Nice
1:36:16
to get it back. Yeah. All
1:36:18
right, Adam and Mayhem.
1:36:21
We got Jordan Harmon
1:36:23
who runs Angel Studios
1:36:25
who's waiting for us
1:36:27
in the wings. So,
1:36:30
well, you guys can hang out. We'll just
1:36:32
take a quick break and we'll talk to
1:36:34
Jordan right after this. Morgan
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and Morgan. Here's a dirty little
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Adam Corolla comes clean now available
1:40:52
from Angel Studios. I was
1:40:54
pulling off the freeway. I
1:40:56
was at a stoplight and
1:40:58
I looked over and there was
1:41:01
a homeless guy and he's
1:41:03
just sitting there and he
1:41:05
had a sign that said
1:41:07
homeless and deaf and I thought
1:41:09
I've never seen that before.
1:41:12
I kind of looked at him and I started to
1:41:14
think like okay normally it's like I'm not gonna give
1:41:16
you money so you can go buy
1:41:18
drugs. But this guy's deaf, you know? And
1:41:20
maybe he has a real situation. And
1:41:23
he kind of looked at the guy and
1:41:25
he looked at me. OK. And he
1:41:27
came over and rolled the window down. And
1:41:29
I started fishing around my ashtray, get
1:41:31
a few bucks out for the guy. And
1:41:33
I thought, let's
1:41:35
just check something real
1:41:37
quick. And
1:41:44
I just leaned on the horn
1:41:46
and this guy jumped back five feet.
1:41:48
I was like, you ain't deaf
1:41:50
and I ain't dumb. Watch
1:41:52
Adam Corolla Comes Clean Free
1:41:55
on Angel at angel.com slash Adam
1:41:57
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1:41:59
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1:42:01
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1:42:03
slash Adam Corolla. Adam Corolla
1:42:06
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1:42:08
through Angel Studios. Let's
1:42:10
get back to the Adam Corolla show. Co
1:42:12
-founder of Angel Studios,
1:42:15
Jordan Harmon has joined
1:42:17
us from your studio,
1:42:19
right? Your facility. Yeah,
1:42:21
here in Provo, Provo,
1:42:23
Utah. It's a
1:42:25
really beautiful place. It's
1:42:27
a great place that you guys set
1:42:29
up over there. And it's nice. You
1:42:32
bought a few buildings, right? You built
1:42:34
it out. You
1:42:36
do a lot of... All the dry
1:42:38
bars are shot there, is that correct?
1:42:40
Yeah, everything shot there from dry bar.
1:42:43
That stage has been seen
1:42:45
billions of times. Yeah,
1:42:47
it's nice because they
1:42:49
don't strike it. Everything
1:42:52
in Hollywood, you kind of build it and
1:42:54
then you strike it, then you put it back
1:42:56
and then you strike it down again. But
1:42:58
this, all the lighting, all
1:43:00
of the technology and the sound and
1:43:02
everything, it's all just there in this building
1:43:04
that I don't know if it was
1:43:06
an old theater. I don't know what that
1:43:08
building was. Well, it
1:43:10
was originally like a bar
1:43:12
with a stage for
1:43:14
kind of performances and whatnot.
1:43:17
And then it kind of rotated through a couple of ownership.
1:43:19
And then we kind of got a hold of it, cleaned
1:43:21
it up, gutted it out, and
1:43:24
launched our first show, which was
1:43:26
Drive Our Comedy. And man, it's
1:43:28
been a wild ride since 2016
1:43:30
doing that. I
1:43:32
really like how you guys
1:43:34
have sort of upset
1:43:36
the system. As
1:43:38
somebody who hated the system and
1:43:40
sort of was punished by the
1:43:43
system and sort of worked outside
1:43:45
of the system, I'm just
1:43:47
so happy to hear
1:43:49
stories and there's a lot
1:43:51
of them now of
1:43:53
people, personalities and companies and
1:43:55
stuff that sort of
1:43:57
went around the system because
1:43:59
the system relies on
1:44:01
basically having a monopoly. And
1:44:04
so they force and
1:44:06
scare and cajole people into
1:44:08
their system who don't
1:44:10
agree with it, but they're
1:44:12
scared. And that's the
1:44:14
thing I hated about the system. coming
1:44:18
up to me on on sets
1:44:20
and like whispering that they agreed with
1:44:22
me about stuff and looking over
1:44:24
their shoulder like they're moranos back in
1:44:26
the day like I'm Jewish but
1:44:28
I'm scared I don't want people to
1:44:30
know I don't want to be
1:44:32
gathered up and brought somewhere and it's
1:44:35
sad and that's so It's
1:44:37
so un -American what they force
1:44:39
these people into, and it's the
1:44:41
people who never stop complaining about
1:44:43
McCarthyism that scared everyone for their
1:44:46
jobs. And so, God bless
1:44:48
people like you. Man,
1:44:50
and the byproduct of that is
1:44:52
you end up with the weird, you
1:44:55
know, kind of Harvey Weinstein type situations
1:44:57
that were allowed to continue for so long,
1:44:59
because it was just scared to talk
1:45:01
about anything. But, I mean, the
1:45:03
way the system can excel, and the
1:45:05
reason we're, you know... So one of
1:45:07
the things I want to tell you
1:45:09
today is your next special is live
1:45:11
right now. So
1:45:14
people, yeah, people can watch it
1:45:16
right now. And the reason this
1:45:18
is possible that because the first
1:45:20
one did well and we want
1:45:22
to continue to have Angel Guild
1:45:24
members not only sign up and
1:45:26
support this incredible stand up comedy.
1:45:29
But the more people that we
1:45:31
have do this, then Adam's special
1:45:33
number three and four. And I
1:45:35
would love for this to be
1:45:37
a constant opportunity for not just
1:45:39
Adam. But other stand -up comedians who
1:45:41
want to break into an industry
1:45:43
and want to have meaningful impact
1:45:46
in terms of like getting their
1:45:48
comedy out there And so yeah,
1:45:50
you can actually go to Adam.com
1:45:52
or angel.com slash I believe it's
1:45:54
what's the URL? It's Adam Corolla
1:45:56
You get 50 % off your
1:45:58
first three months of the angel
1:46:00
guild membership when you do this
1:46:03
You are supporting Adam's show his
1:46:05
special which is comes cleaner But
1:46:08
the but I just want I just
1:46:11
want your audience to understand that like
1:46:13
the only way this is possible is
1:46:15
if they continue to support this type
1:46:17
of alternative mechanism. Otherwise, these alternative mechanisms
1:46:19
dry up and you've got to make
1:46:21
sure that we support stand up like
1:46:23
what Adam's doing. You guys support this
1:46:25
first one. Let's buckle down and support
1:46:27
a second one in a huge way
1:46:29
and just get it to be bigger
1:46:31
and bigger and bigger. Amen,
1:46:33
brother. And that's coming from an atheist.
1:46:37
So I do. I liked
1:46:39
I liked everything about Provo.
1:46:41
I love it's clean. It's
1:46:43
it's beautiful. The mountains are
1:46:45
beautiful. Like it was just
1:46:47
I found it to be literally
1:46:49
like a breath of fresh air.
1:46:51
Like it just smells better. It's
1:46:54
a little tough getting that drink
1:46:56
after the show, you know. I
1:46:58
like to have a cocktail after.
1:47:00
Yeah, you're not getting that a
1:47:02
dry bar. After the show. But
1:47:04
other than that, other than that
1:47:06
and the nachos, we got to work
1:47:09
on the nachos. Nate,
1:47:12
Nate, you're behind the screen
1:47:14
over there nachos improve the nachos.
1:47:16
Yeah, come out of
1:47:18
a squeeze bottle. It's got
1:47:20
to be melted cheese. Let's
1:47:22
work on that. But other
1:47:24
than that, a great experience.
1:47:26
And I've also found and
1:47:28
I found this to be
1:47:30
very true from dealing with
1:47:32
the daily wire. I'm not
1:47:34
used to young people being
1:47:36
respectful and nice and courteous
1:47:38
and helpful and friendly. I'm
1:47:40
used to them being sort
1:47:42
of standoffish and weird and
1:47:44
suspicious and sort of... gotten
1:47:47
rid of the hierarchy of life.
1:47:49
There's nobody in charge anymore. No
1:47:51
one's your boss. There's no elderly.
1:47:53
There's no generals. Everyone's just a
1:47:55
private. Or everyone's a general. I
1:47:57
think that's the way works. think
1:48:00
it's everyone's a general. Right. And
1:48:02
so kids' attitudes are horrible, and
1:48:04
they suck. And there's nothing worse
1:48:06
than Hollywood kids. just
1:48:08
the attitude of young people in this town. But
1:48:10
you go to the Daily Wire. Or
1:48:12
you go to Angel Studios and
1:48:14
oh, oh, it's different. It's a different
1:48:17
attitude with younger people there. They
1:48:19
have a respect and it's palpable. Like
1:48:21
you kind of notice it when
1:48:23
you walk in. And I
1:48:25
don't know if it's just baked
1:48:27
into kind of a conservatism or
1:48:29
where or if it's coached up,
1:48:31
but it is different. Yeah,
1:48:33
that's a good question. You
1:48:35
know, I think I wish I
1:48:37
could say that that was just
1:48:39
like. inherently part of the Utah
1:48:42
culture because I've seen my fair
1:48:44
share of like disrespect inside of
1:48:46
every culture. But there
1:48:48
is something unique inside of the
1:48:50
angel culture in the company and that
1:48:52
one of the things that we've
1:48:54
really tried really hard on is to
1:48:56
find people who we call it
1:48:58
a founder's mentality, people who are thinking
1:49:00
about angel as if it was
1:49:02
their company. And so we've actually built
1:49:04
an incentive structure where as we
1:49:06
grow to a multi -billion, even to
1:49:08
a $10 billion plus company, hopefully in
1:49:10
the years to come, that we're
1:49:12
doing massive bonuses similar to the Elon
1:49:14
Musk bonus plan that he did
1:49:16
for himself, where he grew the company
1:49:18
to $10 billion, and he got
1:49:21
a billion -dollar bonus, and then he
1:49:23
grew it to $60 billion and then
1:49:25
to $600 billion. And so he
1:49:27
was able to structure those things. And so we've done
1:49:29
something similar, but instead of it just going to
1:49:31
us as founders. We're actually trying to
1:49:33
distribute that among all the employees to have everybody kind
1:49:35
of recalibrate their mind and say, hey, how do
1:49:37
we have a founder's mentality? And
1:49:39
I think that's attracting a
1:49:41
different type of person because they're
1:49:43
coming in. We've got
1:49:45
employees that are mid to low level
1:49:48
employees that really could be founders of
1:49:50
their own company. But they believe in
1:49:52
what we're doing. They believe in the
1:49:54
mission. They want to change
1:49:56
the entertainment space. And we're
1:49:58
giving them an upside opportunity that
1:50:01
I think it's causing a different level of
1:50:03
maturity. And at least that's my hypothesis. It
1:50:06
works. And what was, I
1:50:08
know the story is interesting behind
1:50:10
Angel and then maybe into
1:50:12
Drybar as well. So it's just
1:50:14
sort of walk us through
1:50:16
the early iterations. Yeah,
1:50:18
because when we started this a
1:50:20
little over 11 years ago, four
1:50:23
brothers and a cousin in my
1:50:25
brother's basement. And we've got a
1:50:27
lot of kids. We're now at,
1:50:29
my parents have Nine children
1:50:31
among all of us and among
1:50:33
the nine children. There's already 60
1:50:35
grandkids So it's it's a it's
1:50:37
a house full and so it
1:50:39
was one of those things where
1:50:41
we were seeing the entertainment space
1:50:43
and how quickly We felt like
1:50:45
it was distancing itself from the
1:50:48
audience from what the audience would
1:50:50
actually want. This is back in
1:50:52
you know, 2012 13 And so
1:50:54
we decided hey, what if we
1:50:56
can create a group of like -minded
1:50:58
individuals who want entertainment
1:51:00
that represents what they feel
1:51:02
is important for their family. And
1:51:05
so we created what was called VidAngel
1:51:07
at the time, which was a filtering service
1:51:09
that allowed parents to basically take control
1:51:11
and say, hey, I want to skip any
1:51:13
graphic violence for my kids, or I
1:51:15
want to skip the F word or whatever
1:51:18
it may be. And
1:51:20
then we blew up. I
1:51:22
mean, it blew up to, and
1:51:24
by 2015, 2016, we
1:51:26
were growing at a faster rate than what
1:51:28
Netflix was at a similar time and space. And
1:51:31
the goal was to build up a
1:51:33
large audience around this service and then launch
1:51:35
original content. And we
1:51:38
weren't planning to launch original content
1:51:40
yet, but... Warner Brothers 20th Century
1:51:42
Fox and Lucas Films sent us
1:51:44
a lovely note in 2016 basically
1:51:46
saying, hey, we're suing you guys. I
1:51:48
think they could see the writing on the wall
1:51:50
of what we were actually going for and that
1:51:52
we were coming to be a competitor in their
1:51:55
space. And so we ended up in this long
1:51:57
arduous four and a half year legal battle with
1:51:59
them trying to just survive. But one of the
1:52:01
things we did right at the beginning is we
1:52:03
said, hey, we're going to launch the studio business.
1:52:06
The first show is going to be dry bar comedy. That was
1:52:08
the first show. And And but
1:52:10
in order for us to survive
1:52:12
this, um, we have to
1:52:14
raise some capital and no one wanted to
1:52:16
touch us for obvious reasons. Like no, no
1:52:18
VCs like, yeah, you're in lawsuit with Disney.
1:52:20
Let me just throw some money at that.
1:52:23
That makes sense. And so we went to
1:52:25
our audience and just said, Hey, let's, you
1:52:27
know, you're asking us to fight this. They're
1:52:29
literally donating to us at this time. We
1:52:31
had like $300 ,000 of donations in five months,
1:52:33
which sounds like a lot, but that's like
1:52:35
two weeks of legal fees. And
1:52:38
so we launched this regulation crowdfunding
1:52:40
round where we allowed for people to
1:52:42
come invest, be equity holders and
1:52:44
angel. This was a law that had
1:52:46
just been passed that year. It's
1:52:48
one of the great laws that Obama passed.
1:52:52
And we raised $10
1:52:54
million in five days. and
1:52:56
it just blew our socks off. And so
1:52:58
we took five million to fight the legal
1:53:00
battle, and we took five million of which the
1:53:02
first money was to start Dry Bar Comedy.
1:53:04
And now that's launched into all of our
1:53:06
original content around, obviously, the first
1:53:08
three seasons of The Chosen, Tunnel Twins,
1:53:11
The Wing Feather Saga, Sound of Freedom, which came
1:53:13
out in theaters in 2023 and was a huge
1:53:15
box office hit. Homestead, which
1:53:17
came out in December, was another big box
1:53:19
office hit, and King of Kings, which is...
1:53:22
there, which is the box office right now
1:53:24
and has been been a big hit just
1:53:26
past 50 million the box office. And so
1:53:28
this studio business, you know, we got here
1:53:30
in a weird way. We ended up
1:53:32
settling with Disney in 2020, and which
1:53:34
was for us was a miracle. You
1:53:36
know, survival was a win
1:53:38
for us. And so we're just
1:53:40
honored to be creating a
1:53:42
model that is allowing for timeless
1:53:45
art to have timeless residuals.
1:53:47
This R -stream model is really
1:53:49
baking into an ecosystem where if
1:53:51
you go watch Adam Carolla
1:53:53
on Angel, he's getting paid. With
1:53:55
Netflix, you get one -time fees or you
1:53:58
get one -time licenses, and then they'll take all
1:54:00
the upside of how big or small it
1:54:02
gets. And so the bigger we get as
1:54:04
a membership, the more royalties that
1:54:06
are going out to these filmmakers, these stand
1:54:08
-up comedians, and everybody. Yeah,
1:54:10
it's great. And artists,
1:54:12
I think, sometimes have
1:54:14
to pretend like it's all about
1:54:16
the art, you know. And guys,
1:54:19
comedians will never talk about
1:54:21
corporate gigs. They'll do corporate
1:54:23
gigs, but they don't talk about
1:54:25
corporate gigs. And my thing is
1:54:27
like, hey. I did this podcast
1:54:29
for free for the first year.
1:54:31
I spent my own money because
1:54:33
bandwidth was expensive back then, and
1:54:36
it cost me thousands a month. I
1:54:38
did it for free, but I also
1:54:40
wanted to get paid at some point.
1:54:42
When I was a carpenter, I wanted
1:54:45
to get paid. I would not come
1:54:47
build you a house if you didn't
1:54:49
pay me. And now I'm a comedian,
1:54:51
and I want to get paid. And
1:54:53
it doesn't mean You
1:54:55
know, I don't think it makes you
1:54:57
less of an artist. Like I would
1:54:59
do it and I do tons of
1:55:01
stuff for free, tons of stand up
1:55:04
for free. All comedians do. But but
1:55:06
ultimately, you got to keep the lights
1:55:08
on, you know. And so that that's
1:55:10
fine. I don't I feel like sometimes
1:55:12
it's some sort of naughty little artist's
1:55:14
secret. Like, I'm really not doing this
1:55:16
for money. Like, yes, yes, you are.
1:55:19
And that's good. And it doesn't it
1:55:21
doesn't affect. the material or
1:55:23
the process or the outcome, you
1:55:25
know what I mean? Yeah,
1:55:27
timeless art deserves timeless
1:55:29
residuals. Yes, I agree. If
1:55:32
you can create a piece of
1:55:34
art that just has massive reach and
1:55:36
impact on the world and is
1:55:38
generating massive amounts of revenue, the artists
1:55:41
who created that, that use their
1:55:43
blood, sweat, and tears to get that
1:55:45
into the world, deserve timeless residuals,
1:55:47
and that's what we're trying to create.
1:55:49
Yes. I don't know if we'll
1:55:51
count my stand -up specials as timeless
1:55:54
art, but... a couple of good
1:55:56
bits in there. There are a couple
1:55:58
of sixes in there. They're
1:56:00
good 50 years from now out of some
1:56:03
kids going to be watching something on the
1:56:05
angel gill and be like, man, this is
1:56:07
so good. Oh, come your
1:56:09
mouth, the God's ears. Yeah,
1:56:11
well, you guys asked me if
1:56:13
I wanted to do it, and
1:56:15
I tell everybody all the time,
1:56:17
because they go, Why'd you
1:56:19
do dancing with the stars? And I
1:56:21
go, because somebody asked me, and it
1:56:24
scared me. And as soon
1:56:26
as I got scared, I went, oh,
1:56:28
now I have to do it. That
1:56:30
the rule is if it sounds
1:56:32
scary, then I'll do
1:56:34
it. And also there was
1:56:36
like, you know, I did
1:56:38
a professional Trans Am car
1:56:40
race in a crazy fire -breathing
1:56:42
800 horsepower Corvette once. And
1:56:45
it's just because somebody asked me, like they
1:56:47
went, you want to do a professional transcend
1:56:49
race? And I was like, uh, that sounds scary.
1:56:52
Okay, I'll do it. So but there's something
1:56:54
to that. I mean, there's nothing to
1:56:56
that one of the big characteristics of successful
1:56:58
people that they've studies is resilience the
1:57:00
ability to go and say hey, you know,
1:57:02
I'm gonna go try something super challenging
1:57:04
I was with my son this way so
1:57:06
tell my kids all the time. We
1:57:08
were at a hot springs in Utah and
1:57:10
it's still pretty cold up in the
1:57:12
mountains in Utah and and across the road.
1:57:14
There's this there's this river that's
1:57:16
just literally run off from the snow
1:57:18
melt right in the winter. So it's
1:57:20
freezing. And we get over there. The
1:57:22
water level is high. My son's nine
1:57:25
years old. I jump in freezing cold
1:57:27
jump out. He touches his toe. He's
1:57:29
like, no, I can't do it. I'm
1:57:31
like, Brig, you can do hard things.
1:57:33
Yeah, like you can do that. And
1:57:35
he jumped in, he's about ready to
1:57:37
cry, and he comes swimming out. But
1:57:39
at the end of the day, he
1:57:41
proved to himself he could do something
1:57:43
that was hard. And we're missing that
1:57:45
of parents telling their kids, hey, that's
1:57:47
hard. You can do a hard thing.
1:57:49
You can do that. 1 ,000 % we're
1:57:51
missing it. It's
1:57:53
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1:57:55
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1:57:57
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It's kind of a feminization of our
1:58:28
culture where it's like the woman
1:58:30
would be the one going don't it's
1:58:32
freezing get away from me I
1:58:34
literally had I made that deal with
1:58:36
my son when he was young
1:58:38
with cold water. It's it's weird not
1:58:40
new John lock and But I
1:58:42
had a freezing swimming pool the back
1:58:45
and I got in the freezing
1:58:47
swimming pool every single day and swam
1:58:49
underwater and I my son was
1:58:51
like missing some grit, you know because
1:58:53
he's raised in bubble wrap that
1:58:55
had Perel injected into it. We wrapped
1:58:57
it with bubble wrap and then
1:58:59
we took a hose and we pumped
1:59:02
Perel into it. And all the
1:59:04
teachers, they're like, we can't speak down
1:59:06
to kids now. We gotta be
1:59:08
at their level so they'll lay on
1:59:10
the ground and they're like, hey,
1:59:12
are you okay? Do you consent to
1:59:14
this conversation? I am so
1:59:16
square and so old. I walked in my
1:59:19
daughter's class. I'll tell you about the
1:59:21
pool, but I walked in my daughter's class
1:59:23
once when she was like. I don't
1:59:25
know, two parent day or something. And
1:59:27
the teacher's like 26 -year -old chick with
1:59:29
a nose stud. She
1:59:31
had her Starbucks big dome cup because
1:59:33
you know she had to have whipped cream
1:59:35
on everything. And her name was written
1:59:37
in facing out to the class and was
1:59:39
like hey you want to turn that. You
1:59:42
know when I was a kid you found
1:59:44
out the teacher's first name it was over. It
1:59:47
was done. It was done.
1:59:49
It was weird too. Like you're like. So
1:59:54
weird. It was weird. Just
1:59:57
finding out that Mr. Back has
1:59:59
had a first name which is
2:00:01
not. So I don't know why
2:00:03
that was so weird, but I
2:00:05
was like you better turn that
2:00:07
cup in and she goes. Oh,
2:00:09
they all called me by my
2:00:11
first name. Yeah That's what happened
2:00:13
that's what that's what happened the
2:00:15
decline of Western civilization. I told
2:00:18
my son I said you got
2:00:20
to get in that freezing swimming
2:00:22
pool Only on days your dad
2:00:24
does comedy for free If
2:00:26
I'm getting on a plane, going out of
2:00:28
town and getting paid, that's fine. But if
2:00:30
I'm driving over the hill to go to
2:00:32
the comedy store on a Wednesday night for
2:00:34
no money. Then you need to
2:00:36
be in the pool the next day. We all
2:00:38
suffer. Yeah, we're all gonna learn what it's
2:00:40
like. That's great. To grow a little, yeah, lasted
2:00:42
10 minutes. gonna grind together. Lasted
2:00:44
10 minutes. 10 minutes and then the
2:00:46
wife got involved. You tried to
2:00:48
kill him. Okay, great. Get the bubble
2:00:50
wrap. But yeah, I
2:00:52
was like, oh man, Stan, I
2:00:55
don't think I can do 45
2:00:57
minutes of stand -up, clean, like clean
2:00:59
stand -up, not sort of late
2:01:01
night. clean, but clean standup.
2:01:03
I was like, I don't, I don't think
2:01:05
I have this. And then soon as
2:01:08
your point, there's cleaning and there's provoking. Right.
2:01:10
Right. And soon and provoking. I
2:01:13
thought, no, man, I think I
2:01:15
could do like. Encino,
2:01:17
North Hollywood clean. Yeah, maybe
2:01:19
parts of Sherman Oaks. I
2:01:21
don't have promo
2:01:23
clean. And then
2:01:25
as soon as I thought that, I thought,
2:01:27
oh, now I have to do it,
2:01:30
because it just sounds scary to me. By
2:01:32
the way, it's all just scary.
2:01:34
Dancing with the stars when you can't
2:01:36
dance is scary. Driving a professional
2:01:38
trans -am race when you're not a
2:01:41
professional driver. It's scary and provo clean.
2:01:43
It's all scary. It's all
2:01:45
I don't know how much different
2:01:47
you can't get more different than
2:01:49
dancing versus stand up versus driving a
2:01:51
Transam car, but it's all the
2:01:53
same. It's just scary. And so
2:01:55
it's all a challenge. Yeah.
2:01:57
And everybody I got to go to your
2:01:59
second show. I didn't get to go
2:02:01
your first one, but I went to your
2:02:03
second show and I can tell you,
2:02:05
I mean, the standing ovation, you did such
2:02:07
an exceptional job like anybody who's listening
2:02:09
to this, you have to go experience Adam's
2:02:11
second. drive our special because it is
2:02:13
the belly laughter was real. There's
2:02:16
the laughter, the courteous laughter, and then
2:02:18
there's the deep laughter where just like, you're
2:02:20
kind of disturbed by some of the
2:02:22
people laughing because you're like, whoa, is that
2:02:24
a real laugh? That's strange.
2:02:26
And you had multiple moments of that.
2:02:28
So make sure you guys get over there.
2:02:30
Every time you join the guild and
2:02:32
support and watch this, you're supporting Adam to
2:02:34
be able to do more stand up. more,
2:02:37
more dry bar. And so it's
2:02:39
angel.com slash Adam Corolla. Get over there.
2:02:41
Get 50 % off your first three
2:02:43
months and enjoy a special because
2:02:46
it's amazing. Yeah, I do. I now
2:02:48
I find myself sort of thinking
2:02:50
of jokes going, oh, OK, that could
2:02:52
be a dry bar. That
2:02:54
would work. That would work. Out
2:02:56
of your comfort zone. That's provoked. Well,
2:02:58
and to be clear, it wasn't
2:03:00
like, you know, clean doesn't always mean
2:03:02
that you weren't being edgy. Like
2:03:04
there was moments where you actually went
2:03:06
into the more political side of
2:03:08
the discussion, right? Yeah. There's some great
2:03:10
political jokes. And so your
2:03:12
audience who's like, man, Adam is clean.
2:03:14
That's going to be boring. Guys,
2:03:16
I'm telling you, it's the same
2:03:18
Adam Corolla. Like he didn't feel different.
2:03:21
No, it's the same guy. It's just
2:03:23
he's got a few less efforts in
2:03:26
there. I found it
2:03:28
weirdly sort of liberating,
2:03:30
even though it should
2:03:32
have felt confining. But
2:03:34
there's kind of a way where
2:03:36
this thing, it's sort of like back
2:03:39
to the analogy, when you climb
2:03:41
into the Trans Am car, it's just
2:03:43
a cage that you climb into
2:03:45
and then you have a six -way
2:03:47
harness and you're all belt and you
2:03:49
could get sort of paranoid about
2:03:51
being strapped but it actually feels better.
2:03:54
It feels safer to be in
2:03:56
this thing strapped down with the equipment
2:03:58
on you and everything and I
2:04:00
sort of felt so it seems it
2:04:02
feels liberating to be strapped into
2:04:04
this cage with this car and I've
2:04:06
sort of felt that way about
2:04:09
doing clean stand -up like I felt
2:04:11
sort of liberated. by it. It felt
2:04:13
like, well, we're going to get
2:04:15
rid of the crutches and we're going
2:04:17
to get rid of the stuff
2:04:19
and the easy stuff. And now this
2:04:21
is just going to be the
2:04:24
stuff that works. And you're there's
2:04:26
no more falling back on this
2:04:28
or that crutch. You know, so and
2:04:30
I would I would argue that
2:04:32
it would probably make you a better
2:04:34
stand up, even if just to
2:04:36
challenge yourself that to do it because
2:04:38
all the crutches sort of go
2:04:40
away, you know what I'm Talking about
2:04:42
it. Yeah. 100%. Absolutely. And
2:04:45
I like the point that you can still be
2:04:47
edgy in that, in that sort of format.
2:04:49
You know, it's clean, but you can still challenge
2:04:51
the audience a little bit and go for
2:04:53
genuinely smart and interesting jokes. Yeah. Yeah,
2:04:55
the only time I lost the audience is I
2:04:57
said, anybody, we got any drinkers out here? And
2:04:59
I was like, no. Just
2:05:03
silence. You
2:05:06
can pin drop. But
2:05:08
you know people that drink,
2:05:10
right? And everyone started laughing.
2:05:12
And I was like, all
2:05:14
right, we're back. Jordan,
2:05:16
King of Kings in
2:05:18
theaters, King of Kings,
2:05:21
as we speak, doing
2:05:23
well. nice getting
2:05:25
back I just I like it
2:05:27
I like getting back to the
2:05:29
old the things the way it's
2:05:31
just something a little more wholesome
2:05:33
not everybody you know like the
2:05:35
less little less race riding and
2:05:37
a little more just folks taking
2:05:39
care of folks and wholesome entertainment
2:05:41
and kids allowing to be kids
2:05:43
allowed to be kids you know
2:05:45
like you don't This thing that's
2:05:47
like, we have to tell kids
2:05:49
about the trans community on their
2:05:52
sixth birthday. It's like, I just
2:05:54
leave them alone. They
2:05:56
got the Easter Bunny. They
2:05:58
got Santa Claus. They'll figure
2:06:00
out the trans thing later
2:06:02
on. They will. They
2:06:04
can't avoid it. Lord knows
2:06:06
I've tried. I can't avoid
2:06:09
the trans information. They'll get it.
2:06:11
But while they're six, just
2:06:13
let them be six at this
2:06:15
point. Watch a little
2:06:17
dry bar comedy, crack
2:06:19
a you -hoo, and
2:06:21
enjoy your childhood for as long
2:06:23
as we can nurse that. Jordan,
2:06:26
I hope to see you soon. I
2:06:28
think we'll do a series. We'll do
2:06:30
a few, right? Yep, we're we we
2:06:32
have a lot of ideas of what
2:06:34
we're going to do together. So we
2:06:36
appreciate all you're doing, Adam, and and
2:06:38
how you've how you've continued to bring
2:06:40
your talents to dry bar. So thank
2:06:42
you so much. It's been it's been
2:06:44
a real it's been a treat. And
2:06:47
again, it's like I'm old. So you
2:06:49
you don't know what's around the next
2:06:51
corner. You really you really don't could be
2:06:53
the grim. But
2:06:55
I'm never going to say it. So I'll
2:06:57
say it for guys. You got to
2:06:59
watch this special. Adam angel.com slash Adam cruel
2:07:01
I get 50 % off for first three
2:07:03
months when you do this you are
2:07:05
supporting Adam and his stand up and his
2:07:07
career and what he's doing and it's
2:07:09
it is it is Adam this is his
2:07:11
personality everything's in there and so go
2:07:13
enjoy it go watch the first one for
2:07:15
free it's now free anybody can go
2:07:17
watch it and and you can get a
2:07:19
taste of what this is going to
2:07:21
be like but yeah this is this is
2:07:23
a meaningful being a guild member is
2:07:25
a meaningful impact on
2:07:28
actually changing the entertainment space and
2:07:30
causing the entertainment to really adapt to
2:07:32
what the audience wants. Yeah. I
2:07:34
mean, as successful as you guys are,
2:07:36
obviously impossible to do without the
2:07:38
guilt and the people that support it.
2:07:40
Jordan, much love to you. We'll
2:07:42
see you soon over there in
2:07:45
Provo. Adam, you got
2:07:47
shows coming up. uh with uh yaka
2:07:49
yep yeah we'll be at the
2:07:51
uh lojoya comedy store july well or
2:07:53
april this uh weekend friday to
2:07:55
sunday and the special is uh not
2:07:57
big enough to cancel as well
2:07:59
very funny special and i gotta fight
2:08:01
or fighting in pittsburgh this week
2:08:03
at brady hung let's get it on
2:08:06
brady hung yep where do we
2:08:08
find it uh battled the burg Google
2:08:10
it up at Pittsburgh. We'll see
2:08:12
you out there. I'm going to be
2:08:14
in Port Charles, Florida doing stand
2:08:16
up May 2nd, May 3rd coming up.
2:08:18
I'll be everywhere. Go down crow.com.
2:08:21
I'm Melbourne, Florida and the next day
2:08:23
on the fourth. going to
2:08:25
come for all that till next
2:08:27
time. I'm Crawford Jordan Harmon and
2:08:29
Adam Yinser and mayhem saying Mahala.
2:08:33
You can leave us a
2:08:35
voicemail at 888 -634 -1744 and
2:08:37
you can get tickets to
2:08:39
see Adam Carolla at adamcarolla.com. Get
2:08:55
your heart pounding with nightmare
2:08:57
fueling classics like Insidious and Bram
2:08:59
Stoker's Dracula. Or
2:09:02
test your nerves with haunting hits like
2:09:04
Urban Legend and Don't Be Afraid of
2:09:06
the Dark. Pluto TV
2:09:08
has hundreds of channels and thousands of
2:09:10
terrifying movies, live and on demand. Download
2:09:14
Pluto TV on all your favorite
2:09:16
devices and start streaming now. At
2:09:19
Walden University, we get the
2:09:21
W. We're not here
2:09:23
to have our hands held. We're here
2:09:26
to lend ours because we want
2:09:28
to create positive change on the world
2:09:30
around us. And Walden University teaches
2:09:32
us the skills to make it happen
2:09:34
on our time. Now, it's
2:09:36
your time. Learn the skills. Make
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an impact. Get the W.
2:09:41
Walden University. Set a course
2:09:43
for change. Visit waldenu .edu
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to learn more. Certifies
2:09:47
operate by chef.
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