Episode Transcript
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we have very
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Nick Thune and
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Corolla One Studios in Glendale, California, this
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is the Adam Corolla show. Adam's guest
3:02
today, comedian Nick Thune, and the author
3:04
of Black Victim to Black Victor, Adam
3:06
Coleman. Plus the news in trending topics
3:08
with Jason Mayhem Miller. And now, not
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being content is the bulk of his
3:13
content. Adam Corolla. Yeah, get it on.
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Got it. I did it on the
3:18
choice. We're going to mandate you. Get
3:20
it on. Thanks for tuning in. Thanks
3:22
for watching all my fire coverage blog
3:25
content. people been eating that stuff up
3:27
getting a lot of good feedback on
3:29
it. You can go to the YouTube
3:32
channel or whatever, but if you want
3:34
to get caught up on what's going
3:36
on in Malboom Palisades, you can check
3:39
that out. Nick Thune in studio, Nick's
3:41
got dates. He's got a stand-up special,
3:43
stand specials on YouTube called Born Young,
3:46
shout out of Zaines, Nashville. And go
3:48
to his website nickthoon.com for all the
3:50
live shows and info as well. Good
3:52
see you Nick. Fantastic. Thanks for having
3:55
me. So this is funny because at
3:57
the very top of my list I
3:59
had Showaotani bobblehead night written on the
4:02
top of the list of stuff I'm
4:04
going to talk about and you just
4:06
apropos of nothing just shot out that
4:09
you were at the Dodger game. I
4:11
got the bobblehead. Nice. They tweeted out,
4:13
did you hear what they tweeted yesterday
4:16
at the Dodgers? No. So normally they
4:18
give it to the first 40,000 people
4:20
and there was people lined up like
4:23
way early. That's what I'm getting into.
4:25
But then they tweeted all fans at
4:27
tonight's game get a bobblehead. Yeah, there
4:30
should be 40,000 lawsuits against the Dodger
4:32
organization because listen to this story. This
4:34
is a weekday what people had to
4:36
do to get that. that bobblehead we
4:39
will uh... oh this is what you
4:41
actually oh well i i i i
4:43
i i i i i i i
4:46
i i i i i i i
4:48
i i It was over Show Hey
4:50
Otani has been going all day long.
4:53
Thousands of Dodger fans spent the day
4:55
lined up outside Dodger Stadium for tonight's
4:57
Sotani Bobblehead giveaway. A lot of those
5:00
fans got up early to get in
5:02
line, some as early as 5.30 this
5:04
morning. And after all that. It was
5:07
a night game, right? How many did
5:09
we lose? It was two Giants fans
5:11
were killed. They're waiting to get Barry
5:14
Bond's bottle heads and they got beaten
5:16
to death. What town did the game?
5:18
Five 30. Five 30. So there's people
5:20
standing there for 12 hours. I got
5:23
there at five. You got there at
5:25
five and got a bob ahead. Yeah.
5:27
Yeah. Well, I ride my bike and
5:30
my son and I ride my bike
5:32
and we ride our bike and we
5:34
ride our bike and we ride our
5:37
bike in because it's just like the
5:39
easiest way to get in there. But
5:41
when I heard I saw the tweet
5:44
in on Instagram, I'd probably still go
5:46
electric. Let me tell you something man.
5:48
You get electric bike. It's basically like
5:51
the criminal version of when they came
5:53
out with a battery-operated saw salt. Like
5:55
you can go anywhere. Nothing's locked for
5:58
good. Lanes are open. Yeah. It's a
6:00
Wild West out there. You can, you
6:02
got electric bike, you can scoop. Yeah.
6:04
When I pull up on it at
6:07
the stadium, they're looking at me like,
6:09
we don't know if this is okay
6:11
or not, but uh... Right. Come on
6:14
in. Right, right. And you just go
6:16
past throngs of cars. No waiting. No
6:18
waiting. No waiting. Right. It's unreal. And
6:21
it's also so deadly. Yeah, yeah. And
6:23
I'm riding it with my son on
6:25
it. Yeah, but head on the swibble.
6:28
Now, oh, your son's on the bike.
6:30
Yeah, with me. Yeah, I just, when
6:32
you said me and my son ride
6:35
up, I thought. We've only got one
6:37
helmet so I wear the helmet. I
6:39
thought maybe he had his own bike.
6:42
No, he's 11. I would not. I
6:44
don't think he's ready to ride up
6:46
Sunset Boulevard on a... Oh, he's on
6:48
your bike. Yeah. Because it gets a
6:51
little home erotic at some point, depending
6:53
on where he's sitting. Yeah, he's over
6:55
13 probably. Yeah, yeah, that's the bar.
6:58
We just had to talk last week,
7:00
so I don't know. So as long
7:02
as he doesn't press it press it
7:05
on your back on your back on
7:07
your back. no he's sitting in front
7:09
of me okay he's got his feet
7:12
up wrapped around there's like I put
7:14
a cage on top of the time
7:16
so he has his feet up there
7:19
it's not legal there's nothing safe about
7:21
it and a seat Bananacy this we
7:23
used to say it is it's a
7:26
full it looks like a like one
7:28
of those old Italian racer bikes, you
7:30
know that's got like that long kind
7:32
of Yeah, yeah, all right, so oh
7:35
you're thinking of maybe like old mopetti
7:37
style or something that had the long
7:39
Italian racer bikes have a little small
7:42
Oh, those yeah, the small ones. I'm
7:44
thinking of like this flat kind of
7:46
so there's room. Yeah. Oh. Oh. Yeah.
7:49
And and and he sits up there
7:51
and you know he's like you're an
7:53
organ organ and he's your monkey. Yeah,
7:56
he's just up front. He's got to
7:58
feet perched up. Sometimes he's getting away.
8:00
And you just haul in ass through
8:03
traffic. That's good. And also my legs,
8:05
it's like a, it's kind of a
8:07
BMX style bike. Uh-huh. And my legs
8:10
are like out probably at like 45
8:12
degree. Now what happens if you have
8:14
a couple of beers at the game?
8:16
Do you throw them the keys to
8:19
the electric bike? That'll be a problem.
8:21
Oh, that's a relapse. That would be
8:23
a big problem. You're designated rider. People
8:26
will be called. Yeah. Okay. Four alarm
8:28
bars. So you go to show us.
8:30
All right. So I am interested. I'm
8:33
caught up in this Doge movement now.
8:35
And I want to save American taxpayer's
8:37
money. You know, and I'm now thinking
8:40
like what could I do because I
8:42
got ideas because I'm like a problem
8:44
solver. So I've come up with a
8:47
couple of money savers for the taxpayers.
8:49
So one was that I was going
8:51
to collect all the legal criminals by
8:54
just putting a sign in front of
8:56
the Coliseum that said. Free cockfights for
8:58
Raiders fans only and then whoever showed
9:01
up. Yeah, we just arrest them and
9:03
yeah, obviously obviously or they're deadbeat dads
9:05
But okay, then I had this thought
9:07
Which is anyone who shows up at
9:10
a Tesla rat like an anti Elon
9:12
rally on a weekday in a weekday
9:14
in the middle of the day The
9:17
he she with the heels in the
9:19
terror who stand there holding a sign
9:21
over their head for seven hours half
9:24
those people are claiming they're on disability
9:26
yeah because obviously not gainfully employed or
9:28
they couldn't go to the Tesla rally
9:31
right and they don't look independently wealthy
9:33
that no one looks like that a
9:35
startup company they sold it you know
9:38
up John bought it for billions of
9:40
times they all look like they're on
9:42
the dull man those people are sucking
9:45
off the government hit and my thing
9:47
is like hey if you're strong enough
9:49
to hold up a mini sledge hammer
9:51
on a sidewalk and smash up a
9:54
model Tesla you're good enough to get
9:56
back to work. Are they smashing them
9:58
up? I saw them smashing that they
10:01
took model Tesla's oh and they took
10:03
the model. of a Tesla, not a
10:05
Tesla model, sorry, but a miniature model
10:08
of a Tesla and they had what
10:10
we call in the construction world, a
10:12
single jerk, which is basically a meat.
10:15
That's what I call something else as
10:17
well. That's what I call being 13.
10:19
You do that on an airplane now.
10:22
Single jerk, which is a mini sledge,
10:24
and they're just, if you find the
10:26
person, you can find footage of it.
10:29
They're on the sidewalk and they're just
10:31
bashing up these. Anyway. If you can
10:33
do this, you can take your job
10:35
back that you claim you're not well
10:38
enough to do because you have back
10:40
pay. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. So
10:42
that's the insurance insurance adjusters are out
10:45
there taking photos. Like those people. So
10:47
we get we get the illegals with
10:49
the cockfight. Then we go to the
10:52
we go to the Elon rally and
10:54
we get the rest that are on
10:56
disability. bilking the system and the last
10:59
is the showy bobblehead night folks because
11:01
those people are in line at 8
11:03
a.m. on a weekday sorry brother you
11:06
need to be at work I don't
11:08
know what the fuck is going I
11:10
don't know how your schedule got so
11:13
clear yeah that you could just spend
11:15
an entire day for two dollars worth
11:17
of bobblehead I don't like where you're
11:19
at I bet your kid needs some
11:22
orthodont your work I bet there's some
11:24
delinquent payments, I bet you owe the
11:26
IRS money, I bet you're on disability,
11:29
you could be on unemployment, you should
11:31
be looking for a job. I want
11:33
to round up those people, I want
11:36
to know what's going on. Meanwhile, Hollywood
11:38
just walked up 30 minutes and still
11:40
get a ballway. Some people read Twitter,
11:43
yeah, that's right. But however, I will
11:45
say this, I saw, when I was
11:47
pulling in, I saw people with like
11:50
bags of them, I mean. before the
11:52
game because you don't get them until
11:54
you walk in so people are just
11:57
showing up at the game and then
11:59
leaving they're selling them on that thinking
12:01
that they got their money ticket yeah
12:03
everybody turns them over hello kitty night
12:06
was the same way hello kitty night
12:08
so I have season tickets and we
12:10
sell tickets on the nights that are
12:13
like hello kitty night because those go
12:15
for yeah and I don't need it
12:17
you know and at some point like
12:20
I feel like people need to be
12:22
told I'm gonna have, you have this
12:24
conversation with your son, I'll have it
12:27
with my son. Show, uh, those guys
12:29
busting up Tesla Vince. Yes? No? Definitely
12:31
out there, seeing a thousand times. You
12:34
can find those. I don't know if
12:36
you're looking for it or not, but
12:38
we can look. So, people have ideas.
12:41
They're gonna wait in line. Starting at
12:43
5.30 in the morning, they're going to
12:45
drag a couple duffel bags to Dodger
12:47
Stadium. They're going to load up on
12:50
bobblehead dolls. They're going to drag... the
12:52
duffel bags filled with showy bobblehead dolls
12:54
back to the apartment and then they're
12:57
gonna sell them individually on eBay for
12:59
$11 each for a grand total of
13:01
$121 and I want to say to
13:04
my son or you could get a
13:06
fucking job. You could just go somewhere
13:08
and work and sit in air conditioning
13:11
and have a dental plan and get
13:13
paid for it. There's some people that
13:15
just like, I will not work, but
13:18
I will do something that is much
13:20
more work for less money. Also, the
13:22
people that do do that and figure
13:25
it out, that's a whole different type
13:27
of, like, not everybody's actually making, there
13:29
are some people that can make full
13:31
livings off of, we don't know what
13:34
they're doing. But dad, my passion is
13:36
probably this. I used to steal Cromie's
13:38
off cars. Cromie's? Yeah, I never have
13:41
the tires of cars. Are you talking
13:43
about the valve stamp? Yeah, yeah, that
13:45
we're chrome because we were told that
13:48
you could take him into a pawn
13:50
shop. for four bucks a pop. Really?
13:52
And that's how I was going to
13:55
make my living at some point when
13:57
I was young. And then my parents
13:59
caught me and I never got a
14:02
chance to take them in. Oh really?
14:04
How many Cromies did you steal? Probably
14:06
50-50-ish. Oh yeah. I mean I was,
14:09
whenever my parents were like we're going
14:11
grocery shopping, it's like can I come?
14:13
Because I know there's a parking lot
14:15
there. How many, by the way, something's
14:18
up with my little screen here guys,
14:20
I can't read what you guys. But
14:22
you got on there. But, or if
14:25
you move it down a little bit
14:27
or something, something's weird on the screen.
14:29
Ah, anyway. Did you find the clip
14:32
of, it's weird, I saw it all
14:34
over the news. They were like smashing,
14:36
well, it was from Saturday, I guess,
14:39
but there were, oh, you do have
14:41
the clip. Okay. Now you have it.
14:43
That's just a picture. I'm still looking
14:46
for a clue. Oh, it's weird. It
14:48
was all over the news. Well, anyway,
14:50
that's a single jerk. If you can
14:53
swing that, you can work. Look at
14:55
these bracelets on this, guys, yeah. Lots
14:57
of bracelets. That is bracelet heavy. All
14:59
right. So if I walk through that
15:02
bobble head, wait in line, is a
15:04
doge guy. It just say 10 AM.
15:06
Uh-huh. I think I'd find a high
15:09
likely, I bet every third person was
15:11
getting some sort of government assistance. That's
15:13
all I'm saying. And my thing is,
15:16
is, it's the middle of the week,
15:18
it's the middle of the day, you're
15:20
able-bodied, because you can stand in the
15:23
sun for 14 hours. Now let's get
15:25
the fuck to work. The only thing
15:27
that makes it okay is if it's
15:30
a, you know, like they had like
15:32
the gold, like last year they did
15:34
that they had the golden show high
15:37
thing? And it was like the first
15:39
thousand people get a golden show hay
15:41
statue. The first thousand. Yeah. And then
15:43
everyone else got just a regular bobblehead.
15:46
Ah. But I could see that. I
15:48
could see, oh yeah, this one thing
15:50
that's exclusive, but not. You have season
15:53
tickets to the Dodgers. Yeah. That's kind
15:55
of cool. I love it. That's why,
15:57
I mean, the bike. the easiest. I
16:00
can get from my house to my
16:02
seat in about 12 minutes. Really? Yeah.
16:04
And what do you do? Just park
16:07
it at the bike rack? Yeah, there's
16:09
a bike rack right by my entrance,
16:11
right by my seats. Do you love
16:14
baseball that much? I really do. I
16:16
love it and I love taking people
16:18
to it. Yeah. Yeah, I think it's
16:21
kind of a fun experience. Loving sitting
16:23
with somebody explaining things, you know. Well,
16:25
is it 162 games? Yeah. The thing
16:28
I was watching, I was watching sports
16:30
the other day, I don't really care
16:32
about baseball, but I appreciate it, but
16:34
I was good as a player, but
16:37
I like playing football. I didn't like,
16:39
baseball wasn't as fun. To me, you
16:41
didn't get pads on and hit people,
16:44
you know what I mean? I was
16:46
so scared of football. I still played
16:48
it. It was. Well, once you get
16:51
used to putting a helmet and shoulder
16:53
pads on, and... slamming into people, it's
16:55
hard to get away. Once you get
16:58
that feeling, it feels good, like hitting
17:00
people. Shoulder pads are like the greatest
17:02
invention ever. I think I was the
17:05
guy getting hit as a problem. Well,
17:07
you do get let up, you know,
17:09
every once in a while, but it
17:12
was always so fun. Like, my greatest
17:14
love was after the other team would
17:16
punt. I would circle around after I
17:18
rushed upon. I would circle around and
17:21
the punter was always just half jogging
17:23
behind the play because the play was
17:25
45 yards down and the guy boxed
17:28
in it and he's like a half
17:30
guy. I would always circle around and
17:32
light him up just because I could
17:35
just because he was on the field.
17:37
And why not? I tried to block
17:39
the pun. So I wasn't in. I
17:42
wasn't in on it. And my greatest
17:44
line. I haven't ever told the story.
17:46
But I'd circle around and just like
17:49
that poor punter up. There's always the
17:51
smallest guy on the other team and
17:53
he didn't have sufficient padding either. No
17:56
knee pads. And I circle around and
17:58
I lit the guy up. And
18:00
the ref, it's not illegal, it's
18:03
just immoral. And the ref,
18:05
that line is so, 130
18:07
pound soccer player. Yeah, the
18:09
ref looked at me at
18:11
a home game once, I've
18:13
never told this story, and
18:15
he just goes. 53! What are
18:17
you doing? And I just said,
18:19
playing ball! That's the greatest moment
18:21
of my life. What? I'm fucking
18:23
playing ball. I don't know what
18:25
you're doing. And why isn't that
18:27
illegal though? Because if you hit
18:29
their leg when you're... when you're
18:32
trying to. No, no, I would
18:34
try to block the pun and
18:36
then I would circle around and
18:38
while he was jogging after the
18:40
play. Yeah, I just lied him
18:42
up. He wasn't expecting anything. He's
18:44
not really in the play. He's
18:46
40 yards away from the play,
18:48
but he's still wearing a uniform
18:50
and he still could make a
18:53
tackle. He's thinking, thank God, I
18:55
don't have to tackle people. Right.
18:57
Yeah, double leg of the game.
18:59
He's got a leather helmet. And
19:01
I pass him and then circle
19:03
around. So he can't really even
19:05
see where I am, because he's
19:07
just jogging down an open field.
19:09
You're the blindsmith. That's why you
19:11
play football. Why did they ever
19:14
make the kickers just wear the
19:16
single? Do you think they ever
19:18
said like, hey, can we just
19:20
have one like the other players?
19:22
First shows, these. No. No, it's
19:25
all vision. Yeah, you gotta see
19:27
everything. They gotta look down, place
19:30
kickers, hunters and stuff. It's all
19:32
vision. And then when your interior
19:34
lining, you just have the
19:36
cage because it's not, you don't
19:39
need to see as much as
19:41
scary. Yeah. These people who
19:43
are doing dancing and smashing I want
19:46
to know I want to know if
19:48
they're on the doll. Yeah, let's take
19:50
a gander listen I know nuts when
19:52
I see it and all
19:54
nuts claim disability because when
19:56
you're nuts your back always
19:58
hurt because because Because your back
20:01
comes from your head. So nutty
20:03
people have tons of back pain
20:05
because it's their fucking 10 cent
20:07
head that's fucking their back up.
20:10
Once you get your head straight,
20:12
your back stops hurting. Sorry, we'll
20:14
watch it. I've heard this. Haters,
20:16
they use violence, they don't know
20:19
how to use the courts in
20:21
a way to protect their own
20:23
rights. And it is disgusting. And
20:25
the Molotov cocktails and everything they're
20:28
doing is a violation of law
20:30
in our institutions. And I hope
20:32
that this Jasmine prophet, I hope
20:34
she was happy. I love that
20:37
she's saying Molotov cocktails has her
20:39
just hammering little matchbox cars. Yeah.
20:41
Also, as a young I did
20:43
collect Hot Wheels. I would be
20:46
quite appalled. Me too. Like, hey,
20:48
what is the desecration? This could
20:50
add to my collection. I could
20:52
use those. You could steal the
20:55
valve stem nuts off of those
20:57
things. Those things actually charge up.
20:59
Didn't Tesla give them give you
21:01
a key that's like a Tesla?
21:03
It looks like a Tesla? I
21:06
think there's that. I've never had
21:08
a Tesla. I have an electric
21:10
car. but I don't have a
21:12
test electric car. Yeah, just use
21:15
your phone or you just have
21:17
a, you know, yeah, you have
21:19
a key card that you put
21:21
on the dash. Oh, there it
21:24
is. Yeah, I never saw that
21:26
one. I didn't get the deluxe
21:28
package. The problem is we're living
21:30
in a world simultaneously of fobs
21:33
and keys and automation and non-autamation,
21:35
like you go to the bathroom
21:37
at the airport, right? You put
21:39
your hand into the sink and
21:42
the water starts shooting out, right?
21:44
If you're lucky. If you're... Well,
21:46
it shoots out. I don't know
21:48
why they think one and a
21:51
half seconds is the maximum time
21:53
you're going to need to sterilize
21:55
yourself. And immediately. You know, it's
21:57
like that. Or if you're a
22:00
vampire, it doesn't work at all.
22:02
Well, here's it. The funny one
22:04
is when you realize you got
22:06
a bad sink. this, during COVID,
22:09
the main, where they crack down
22:11
the hardest, like the Fort Knox
22:13
of COVID rule, rules being applied,
22:15
you know, like, like there were
22:18
You could go to a park
22:20
and not have a mask and
22:22
maybe no one gave a shit
22:24
or go do something But the
22:26
airport was ground zero for COVID
22:28
rules, right? It was like where's
22:30
your mask? Where's your distance mass
22:32
mass distance? everything? Well during COVID
22:34
when they thought That it was
22:36
spread via touch or boxes or
22:39
you know stuff that showed up
22:41
at your house They started giving
22:43
all these tutorials on hand washing
22:45
And the hand washing tutorials were
22:47
like, it is not 10 seconds
22:49
like you think it is. Proper
22:51
hand washing. You have to sing
22:53
in a gotta divita in your
22:55
head. Like it is. Long you
22:57
have to really stand there for
22:59
much longer until you get wrinkles.
23:01
Well, but what about the fucking
23:03
airport that they give you a
23:05
spritz of water for two seconds?
23:07
Like what kind of weird message?
23:09
It's like I would have to
23:11
be at the sink for 11
23:13
hours if you wanted me to
23:15
properly wash my hands at this
23:17
airport? What is the spritz that's
23:19
three seconds? It's never enough. It's
23:21
never, but why not five seconds?
23:23
What about when you get the
23:25
soap and the soap works and
23:27
then you get down to the
23:29
sink and there's no, and now
23:31
you're just holding soap in your
23:33
hand. Well, the funny, the funny
23:35
one I, it jizzes out in
23:38
the yellow run around. Here's what
23:40
I'm getting at. Yes, that is
23:42
correct. But in the world of
23:44
the key versus the automation, we're
23:46
in between world. Like I, I
23:48
sat. Dumbo Mike August
23:50
told me to move his car
23:52
when he was over at Leno
23:54
shop. I had to go move
23:56
his car. He has electric vulva.
23:58
I sat in his vulva for
24:00
20 minutes looking for the start
24:02
button. Eventually I ran out of,
24:05
I don't, where the fucking side
24:07
got out of car was crawling
24:09
around under the steering wheel and
24:11
stuff. And at some point, I
24:13
got to Mike and I go,
24:15
where is the start button? And
24:17
he goes, oh no, when you
24:20
have the fob, it'll start, you
24:22
just put it in drive. I'm
24:24
like, okay, well first off, you
24:26
could say that. You could say
24:28
it when you're handing me the
24:30
keys, you're handing me the keys.
24:32
You go into the airport bathroom.
24:34
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24:49
Bedalon, the game starts here. You
24:51
do the hand. Sink thing. You
24:54
do the soap automatic, you know,
24:56
whatever. Then you go to the
24:58
paper towel thing and you're standing
25:00
there waving your hand under it
25:02
and then at some point some
25:04
guy walks by and goes, there's
25:06
a hand, you gotta pull the
25:09
handle down. And you're like, okay,
25:11
you can't go automation, automation, and
25:13
then manual. We got to go
25:15
all magic eye or all fucking
25:17
manual. I want to go back
25:19
too to the cloth ones that
25:21
just go, that recycle or what?
25:23
I like that. I was always,
25:26
I was always a little dubious
25:28
to me, like what? Where's this
25:30
going? Where's this going? Is it
25:32
coming back around? How much do
25:34
they have back there? Yeah. I
25:36
always imagine like another bathroom with
25:38
a truck stop far far away
25:40
and you pull it, his goes
25:43
up. Like it's like, whoa! It's
25:45
like, whoa! It's like, what are
25:47
those things in a park where
25:49
you talk in one? Right, right,
25:51
right. Yeah. Or the ones that
25:53
were like sandpaper. Do you remember
25:55
that from like junior high or
25:58
whatever? Yeah. Yeah, this will dry
26:00
your hand up. These are very
26:02
absorbent. The other weird, there was
26:04
a, I would like to look
26:06
into some of these like inventions
26:08
from the 50s and the 60s.
26:10
Yes, the hand drying station with
26:12
the circular cloth belt that didn't
26:15
seem to ever get cleaned or
26:17
go away. And then a red
26:19
line will hit like a receipt,
26:21
you know? like when the receipts
26:23
running out. I don't know if
26:25
you guys remember but like high
26:27
school gymnasiums from the like 40s
26:29
had a drinking fountain cove in
26:32
them with a weird head shower
26:34
sprayer thing that was in there
26:36
as well. Like it wasn't just
26:38
the water in the water fountain
26:40
it was like some weird thing
26:42
where you'd put your head. You
26:44
gotta find me one of those.
26:47
I guess it was like a
26:49
high school, old time, high school
26:51
gymnasium, drinking fountain head thing or
26:53
something. But it was weird. I
26:55
would never, I don't know what
26:57
you did with it. Like it
26:59
was unclear. You're not shower, there
27:01
are showers. Yeah. But it was
27:04
yeah, it was like cool your
27:06
head down. And went to the
27:08
school district thing. This is what
27:10
we want everywhere. About 72. I
27:12
went to. I mean, look, I
27:14
like a good joke as much
27:16
as the next guy, but the
27:19
gym may have been built later,
27:21
but it was always academic. Some
27:23
dudes would always shove gum into
27:25
the drinking fountain and then would
27:27
just shoot out and weird spray,
27:29
like form. It's like, you have
27:31
to fucking, how antisocial. Yeah. I
27:33
mean, look, I like a good
27:36
joke as much as the next
27:38
guy, but how fucking antisocial do
27:40
you have to beat? These are
27:42
right up there with the guys
27:44
that the truck stop who piss
27:46
all over the toilet paper roll.
27:48
People do that? People do that?
27:50
Well I don't know if they're
27:53
people, I call them animals. But
27:55
that is... You've never seen that?
27:57
You've never seen the piss on
27:59
the roll? No, but a guy
28:01
at my junior high used to
28:03
wipe his ass and roll it
28:05
back up. Oh yeah! And he
28:08
would call, and like if anybody
28:10
went to the bathroom out there,
28:12
old gymnasium... drinking fountain head shower
28:14
coves. There were like coves, like
28:16
they were built in, like you
28:18
put your head in the wall,
28:20
they weren't surface mounted on the
28:22
side of the gym. I don't
28:25
know what the fuck. Yeah, like
28:27
you're doing a blessed ritual. Yeah,
28:29
I know what you're talking about.
28:31
I've seen it in like old
28:33
gymnasians. You're right, but I don't
28:35
know what the hell that's called
28:37
or even that was a thing.
28:39
All right, so we got one
28:42
thing you said there though is
28:44
I in COVID the lowest moment
28:46
for me. I was on the
28:48
beach in Carpenteria and I was
28:50
sitting there and nobody was around
28:52
me my son and a couple
28:54
other people and a guy came
28:57
up and said, sir. Yeah, you
28:59
couldn't be sitting on the beach.
29:01
Yeah, on the beach, getting vitamin
29:03
D. Un real. The one thing
29:05
the cops said to me on
29:07
the beach was, get on the
29:09
ground. Yeah, he needed you on
29:11
the ground. You get up. There
29:14
is a great, I will, uh,
29:16
I don't put that to the
29:18
booth. We had a VID from
29:20
CNN during COVID. Not this. You
29:22
know, the weirdest thing about life
29:24
is whenever I describe, I just
29:26
get something, I go, okay, I
29:28
have a brain tumor the size
29:31
of a watermelon. He just showed
29:33
me a picture of a shower
29:35
from a bathroom. But here's my
29:37
whole thing. Don't even bother. Don't
29:39
even bother. Do not show me
29:41
a shower. That's not what I'm
29:43
talking about. It'll never be what
29:46
I'm talking about. But here's what
29:48
it is. It seems like something,
29:50
but it's worse than nothing. Because
29:52
now we just spent time. That's
29:54
what I'm saying. We just showed
29:56
up. Well, what did you say?
29:58
We just saw a shower from
30:00
a locker room. Which actually reminded
30:03
me of all of my friends'
30:05
penises. So it did good. From
30:07
junior high. All right. I'm trying
30:09
to think. All right, old gymnasium
30:11
drinking fountain. Just show me a
30:13
picture of an old gymnasium. What
30:15
are you typing in? That'll help
30:17
me, Byron. See if we can
30:20
find. Oh, here we go. The
30:22
internet is miraculous and wildly disappointing.
30:24
Say hi. All right, so you
30:26
typed in old gymnasium drinking fountain
30:28
and what did I describe to
30:30
you? It's like that. What did
30:32
I describe? I'm the Etsy right
30:35
there. Why didn't say shower? Yeah,
30:37
head shower. It's not really head
30:39
shower. No, no, no. Sort of
30:41
head shower. I put the word
30:43
shower in there. It's gonna throw
30:45
the whole search off. Yeah, you're
30:47
right. Okay. All right, so how
30:49
did I describe this? Here's my...
30:52
What's that? There's two of them,
30:54
what's that? Yeah, that was the
30:56
one right there. Wait a minute.
30:58
Here's the point. I'm trying to
31:00
figure out. Byron, how did I
31:02
describe this is the question. I'm
31:04
looking at it, but I want
31:06
to know why you don't know
31:09
what I'm looking for is what
31:11
I'm saying. How did I describe
31:13
this? An old drinking fountain built
31:15
into it. Right. And I... Well,
31:17
everything is later if you think
31:19
about conversations. Like, if I go,
31:21
hi, Nick, you'd go, you didn't
31:24
say Nick till later. Yeah. But
31:26
I... It is later, but yeah.
31:28
Yeah. So what were you looking
31:30
for? Sorry, Baron, go ahead. I
31:32
just want to make sure we
31:34
got what we got. Now I'm
31:36
not sure. I can see, you
31:38
don't know what it is. I
31:41
can see a tear in there.
31:43
I can see a tear in
31:45
there. Like a water fountain that
31:47
also had a place where you
31:49
can wash your head or... Yeah,
31:51
built into a wall? I will
31:53
say this, I don't think he
31:55
ever said wash your head. I
31:58
think he said there's a thing
32:00
that sprayed water at the top.
32:02
Do you see anything that might
32:04
resemble that? Just go to the
32:06
first one. Go to the first
32:08
one, click it. Okay, what does
32:10
that, what does that look like?
32:13
So it is... That's a pisser,
32:15
isn't it? I don't know what
32:17
that is, or goes that one.
32:19
It's a cove, it's built in,
32:21
and it has a drinking fountain,
32:23
and you put your head in
32:25
it, and you drink, and you
32:27
like douse your head. Mind blown.
32:30
Yeah, go to the, sorry, go
32:32
back to the top there for
32:34
a second, sorry. Go to the
32:36
number three. Yeah, maybe this is
32:38
our best bet. I think number
32:40
three on the left, yeah. It's
32:42
basically that right. Yeah, you get
32:44
a drink and you get your
32:47
head squirted. Oh, they don't do
32:49
that. They don't do that anymore.
32:51
They're trying to cool people down
32:53
a little bit, I guess. They
32:55
had a lot of thoughts about
32:57
your skull. You know, there was
32:59
like lots of reading your skull,
33:02
you know, they called them a
33:04
craniologists or something like Gypsy Women
33:06
would like, oh, okay, you're gonna
33:08
run into a lot of money
33:10
soon. accession yeah with the with
33:12
the skull and so that was
33:14
just take an eye shot for
33:16
your head they just they figured
33:19
they cool you down by spraying
33:21
your head which makes sense I
33:23
think it's a good idea yeah
33:25
make water fine so you were
33:27
asked let's see there was a
33:29
CNN clip that we have in
33:31
our bank from COVID days where
33:33
I was making fun of them
33:36
because they're pitching a fit because
33:38
They opened the beaches in Florida
33:40
and people weren't distancing. They weren't
33:42
safely distancing and they were just
33:44
showing B-roll of people walking around
33:46
on the beach, like couples and
33:48
stuff and CNN was having a
33:51
meltdown because they're like, look at
33:53
those people laying down next to
33:55
each other on a towel. It's
33:57
like, well, those people live with
33:59
each other. How weird would it
34:01
be if there's just someone laying
34:03
on the beach and I just
34:05
spread my towel out right next
34:08
to their town just plopped down?
34:10
Those people are getting in the
34:12
same car and driving home. So
34:14
I think it's okay for them
34:16
to lay next to each other
34:18
on the beach. It was this
34:20
dumb thing where they had to
34:22
lay out the rules so that
34:25
we could eventually all just stop
34:27
following them. Right. Because they hated
34:29
Florida because Florida was like, fuck
34:31
that. in the beach. But here's,
34:33
okay, Anderson Cooper, here's why we
34:35
never need to listen to anything
34:37
ever say again. Here we go.
34:40
Randy Kay is in Jacksonville, Florida,
34:42
where beaches reopen and, well, Randy,
34:44
what happened next? People. Well Anderson
34:46
it was a mad dash here
34:48
for the ocean. Once police gave
34:50
they all clear all the people
34:52
who had been lined up in
34:54
the streets waiting to get to
34:57
the beach when they opened today
34:59
at 5 p.m. They just flooded
35:01
the area. They were biking, they
35:03
were running, they were swimming, they
35:05
were swimming, surfing, they were fishing,
35:07
some of them. What? A lot
35:09
of people brought their dogs. What
35:11
did the dog? Not a dog
35:14
beach. what the mayor of Jacksonville
35:16
is saying. He says, Lenny Curry
35:18
is his name, he says that
35:20
these are essential activities, that all
35:22
of those activities, those recreational activities
35:24
on the beach are considered essential
35:26
and they are well in line
35:29
with the Florida governor's executive order.
35:31
So he says it's okay. He
35:33
is limiting the hours on the
35:35
beach Anderson from five to eight
35:37
p.m. So it just closed a
35:39
short time ago here and also
35:41
from six to 11 in the
35:43
morning. So the hours in between
35:46
there, the beach will be shut
35:48
down. So we talked to some
35:50
people. We asked them what it
35:52
was like to be back on
35:54
the beach. This is news everybody.
35:56
Also asked them if they saw
35:58
any social distancing. What? From what
36:00
we could see, there wasn't a
36:03
whole lot of... All right, posit,
36:05
posit. First of these people are
36:07
so fucking stupid. It's like mostly
36:09
peaceful protests with a warehouse burning
36:11
behind him. They show a guy
36:13
walking alone. Walking on the beach
36:15
with his dog. And his dog
36:18
is even social distance. The dog
36:20
is six foot four inches away
36:22
on his leash. There that girl
36:24
too is like her parent. She
36:26
might not be in a bubble
36:28
with her parents. There's a couple
36:30
people in the frame that are
36:32
all more than socially distances. Right.
36:35
But go back ten seconds. Just.
36:37
just for fun. Anyway, next time
36:39
CNN tells you something, think about
36:41
this clip, everybody. This is a
36:43
hard hitting report they were doing
36:45
in 2020. Okay. We talked to
36:47
some people, we asked them what
36:49
it was like to be back
36:52
on the beach today. We also
36:54
asked them if they saw any
36:56
social distancing because from what we
36:58
could see, there wasn't a whole
37:00
lot of that going on. The
37:02
mayor did ask that. People still
37:04
do their social distancing here on.
37:07
The mayor did ask that. People
37:09
still do their social distancing here
37:11
on the beach, try and keep
37:13
six feet away from each other
37:15
at least. Why aren't you people
37:17
scared? We're telling you to be
37:19
scared. But you won't do it.
37:21
You want to go outside. The
37:24
part where she said that they
37:26
were running down like they hadn't
37:28
been down here for years, but
37:30
really it's just been a month.
37:32
Yeah, just blocked in your fucking
37:34
shitty apartment for a month. Yeah.
37:36
All right, sorry, there's more. Because
37:38
I think there's I think they
37:41
get back down. Oh, it just
37:43
ended there. Okay, because Anderson, I
37:45
saw it before he was disgusted.
37:47
These people, what they were doing.
37:49
Oh, oh, yeah. It's always so
37:51
fun. Okay, these are modern times
37:53
people. These are modern times. These
37:56
people have information. It's, it's all,
37:58
uh, anyway. Just, it should, it
38:00
should be played all the time.
38:02
They should be humiliated all the
38:04
time. That's right. Thank you, Anderson
38:06
Cooper. What else? What else is
38:08
next? What else can we talk
38:10
about? Ivermectin, hydroxychloricrin? What else do
38:13
you know? What else do you
38:15
know? You're not allowed to drive
38:17
because they want to keep the
38:19
roads open for... Did you ever
38:21
see that? Like they... I went
38:23
and I rode up to Angelus
38:25
Crest when it was snowing. Like
38:27
it was like the first month.
38:30
Never left my car. Drove my
38:32
son from my son from my
38:34
house there. Took a photo. and
38:36
then people are like you're supposed
38:38
to stay off the roads it's
38:40
like i didn't even go to
38:42
a gas station i was i'm
38:45
at the time i was actually
38:47
scared of gas stations. You know,
38:49
I was scared to catch something
38:51
or my son. There's many reasons
38:53
to be scared of gas stations
38:55
in LA. Mainly the guy running
38:57
it. What is? Pump 7? No!
38:59
Could I get a snicker's part?
39:02
No, no snicker. It's not taking
39:04
my card against her. Yeah. Can
39:06
I use the bath? No. Yes.
39:08
Yes, I beat you with Squeegy!
39:10
Leave! I beat you! No! You
39:12
want Snicker Smart? Sir, please. What
39:14
bump yard? What is? Seven? No!
39:16
Leave! We rechecked your card. Yeah,
39:19
they, they, yeah. Please see Cashier.
39:21
Oh, that's the worst. Every time
39:23
that pops up on the screen,
39:25
it's like, I'm just going to
39:27
go to a new gas station.
39:29
Please see cashier is right up
39:31
there with when you're going through
39:34
TSA and they pull your backpack
39:36
out. Oh, whose backpack is this?
39:38
That's what police see cashier now,
39:40
I mean, just like, you're right.
39:42
Yeah, this is never gonna work.
39:44
There's a gas station where it
39:46
does it every time and I
39:48
said the guy, I go, why
39:51
does it do it? And he
39:53
goes, oh, you can't use cards
39:55
out there. Yeah. is to get
39:57
you in there and buy a
39:59
Snickers. Let me tell you something.
40:01
Let me tell you where you
40:03
want to live. You want to
40:05
live in a place where You
40:08
could pump your gas. They trust
40:10
you to pump your gas and
40:12
then go in and pay and
40:14
you want to live in a
40:16
place That has a Starbucks where
40:18
you go in and you go
40:20
I got to use the bathroom.
40:23
What's the code and they go
40:25
we don't have a code right
40:27
there like that's You can talk
40:29
about school systems and all sorts
40:31
of shit, you know hospitals nearby
40:33
Whatever you want demographic, you know
40:35
the average person this neighborhood makes
40:37
hundred and eighty six Does the
40:40
Starbucks have a code on the
40:42
bathroom if there's no code on
40:44
the bathroom? You want to live
40:46
that Trust me the school system's
40:48
good, too. What about organ if
40:50
you go do you I used
40:52
I pump gas in organ When
40:54
I was 15 for a whole
40:57
summer just as a job Yeah,
40:59
that nobody else because the people
41:01
can't pump their own gas right.
41:03
Yeah, that's a weird. I like
41:05
it. It feels very bygone era
41:07
to me, but I like it
41:09
There's certain things that they stick
41:12
with because it just makes them
41:14
weird or different or whatever and
41:16
and it's part of their like
41:18
heritage or something like Porsche Portia's
41:20
have the key Whatever on the
41:22
left side of the steering wheel
41:24
everyone else has it on the
41:26
right side if you picture every
41:29
car I've ever had it's always
41:31
on the right Porsche's on the
41:33
left and it's like that was
41:35
from way back in the Lamar
41:37
days when they do like the
41:39
running starts and they have to
41:41
jump in the car and it
41:43
was like a little bit faster
41:46
to have it on the doorside
41:48
if you're running and jumping into
41:50
your car and starting a race
41:52
maybe a shave a tenth of
41:54
a second or something but they
41:56
don't need to do that in
41:58
their SUVs you know but they
42:01
do because it's Porsche and that's
42:03
their thing. You know what I
42:05
mean? So, like certain places, restaurants,
42:07
states, Oregon, they go, this is
42:09
kind of us, you know, we
42:11
kind of like that. Yeah, I
42:13
wonder why they keep it, but
42:15
it's just another job, I guess.
42:18
Yeah, they also, it's weirdly in
42:20
Oregon or in Portland, they have
42:22
all those Bubbler drinking fountains. which
42:24
is Byron's looking up a picture
42:26
of a gym shower right now.
42:28
They're the drinking fountains that just
42:30
sit in Portland and they just
42:32
bubble water the entire time. Oh,
42:35
it kind of comes up, yeah.
42:37
Yeah, it comes up. like a
42:39
little mini little like eight inch
42:41
fountain six inch fountain it's just
42:43
bubbles the whole time and you
42:45
come home from the club it
42:47
at four in the morning you
42:50
walk past it and it's just
42:52
bubbling there because it's a fountain
42:54
it doesn't go around it's drinking
42:56
water that's being wasted what you
42:58
know guys don't know about this
43:00
no why would they you pumped
43:02
tane in Oregon I think Tina
43:04
Turner said that Yeah, they, they,
43:07
they have, they're called, she also
43:09
said, Ike, stop, Ike, stop, pumped
43:11
a lot of tain down in
43:13
New Orleans, but I never, so,
43:15
Bubblers, am I the only one
43:17
in the building that's hip to
43:19
the Bubler? Well, I know I'll
43:21
stick my gum right there. The
43:24
bubble, you can't stick your gum
43:26
in a Bubler because it's always
43:28
on. You got to, you got
43:30
to stick it in the gym
43:32
one like at night and let
43:34
it dry overnight. I mean, what's
43:36
that doing though, is it? It's
43:39
wasting fucking clean water. The Bubblers
43:41
in Oregon, in Portland. Okay, first
43:43
off, I'd like to go to
43:45
like, you know. the Sudan and
43:47
go, how's it going over here?
43:49
It's like we have seen so
43:51
much firemen. Oh, interesting. Let me
43:53
tell you what we got. You
43:56
ever seen a mirage? We have
43:58
during the past six over 24
44:00
seven for no fucking good racist.
44:02
That's how much water we have.
44:04
Some woman, I think here's the
44:06
story, some rich woman, which really
44:08
means rich dude died. because it's
44:10
a long time ago. Rich dude
44:13
died, gave the widow, left the
44:15
widow tons of money, and the
44:17
widow was like, my legacy are
44:19
these bubblers. I'm paying for these
44:21
bubblers before I die, and I
44:23
want them on. And I'm paying.
44:25
And I think that's the story.
44:28
Like, you know what I mean?
44:30
Like, that's a city thing, the
44:32
water. So it seems like how
44:34
could you do it in perpetuity,
44:36
just have a bubble? Well, she
44:38
originally wanted you, who to come
44:40
out of. Right? Has it always
44:42
been like that? Or is that?
44:45
We're going to find the story.
44:47
But I mean, this shit goes
44:49
back. Yeah. And they got drinking
44:51
fountains that run 24-7. in Portland.
44:53
The Benson Bubblers in Portland, Oregon
44:55
were funded by a $10,000 donation
44:57
from a businessman and his philanthropic
44:59
Simon Benson in 1912 for the
45:02
purchase for the purchase and installation
45:04
of 20 bronze drinking fountain. So
45:06
some guy bought him and did
45:08
him at the, you know, some
45:10
of 10,000 bucks in 1912. That
45:12
wasn't... jump change you know now
45:14
I don't know why he did
45:17
it to help he did the
45:19
fountain to encourage temperance he didn't
45:21
he wanted people not to drink
45:23
he wanted to keep loggers out
45:25
of the saloons but that's just
45:27
a good place to throw up
45:29
after you drink too much in
45:31
a saloon you know he thinks
45:34
that putting that out there is
45:36
keeping people sober yeah yeah that
45:38
was a strategy I I don't
45:40
know that he had a hundred
45:42
percent You know, success rate with
45:44
that? Did you get sober from
45:46
a Bubbler? No? Nobody smoked out
45:48
of a few Bubblers. So the
45:51
Benson Bubblers use a significant amount
45:53
of water annually with estimates suggesting
45:55
at least 19 million gallons or
45:57
nearly 40 swimming pools worth of
45:59
water wasted. How long? A year?
46:01
I thought you were going to
46:03
say a day. Yeah, what the
46:06
hell? Annually, every year. estimates 19
46:08
million. I know, but listen, I'm
46:10
not, I'm no tree hugger, but
46:12
if I was on the Oregon
46:14
City Council, I'm like, come on,
46:16
I like the old guys much
46:18
as next, but we have to
46:20
fucking keep the charade going. It's
46:23
been 130 years. What do we
46:25
do in here? Well, you also
46:27
think, when people think Oregon, they
46:29
think Portland, and they think, oh,
46:31
this progressive, Oregon is not. progressive.
46:33
No, Oregon. You see guys with
46:35
kilts and daggers in their fucking
46:38
cells. Once you get outside. Oh,
46:40
yeah, it's deep and dark. Deep
46:42
dark dudes over there. Yeah, my
46:44
whole family is from from Oregon.
46:46
Oh, yeah, I've seen dudes with
46:48
daggers and kilts and shit. It's
46:50
a quickie mark once you get
46:52
outside. Oh, that's Seattle's a big
46:55
kilt place too. Oh, it is.
46:57
You see dudes walking around in
46:59
kilts because there's some kilt company
47:01
out there that everybody else. I
47:03
was born in Oregon and lived
47:05
in Seattle. So the Bubblers are
47:07
still going and I can't imagine
47:09
that hundreds of overfishes Water loving
47:12
women on the Portland City Council
47:14
have not said we got to
47:16
do away with these bubbleers like
47:18
I like tradition I don't like
47:20
regulation but even I would go
47:22
yeah just put a fucking foot
47:24
paddle on it so you can
47:27
get the water when you wanted
47:29
it and then it stopped when
47:31
you're done. People are so concerned
47:33
about like almonds and the amount
47:35
of water that it takes to
47:37
Bubble bubble well, you know the
47:39
other thing that I would do
47:41
is I would go look Can
47:44
we get a water caption system
47:46
for the bubbleers like use that
47:48
water for irrigation and the answer
47:50
would be no? They will not
47:52
let you use that water irrigation
47:54
Yeah, it's a wash your kilt
47:56
that would not let you wash
47:58
your kilt with that water interior
48:01
of real strict rules I know
48:03
because I've been to Ed Bagley's
48:05
house and have strict rules about
48:07
recapturing water and what you can
48:09
use that recaptured water for and
48:11
they're really uptight about it. But
48:13
so the Bubler I made up
48:16
the part of the philanthropic guy's
48:18
wife. It wasn't her deal. It
48:20
was just a rich guy from
48:22
a hundred and thirteen years ago
48:24
who put in the Bubblers. But
48:26
when they thought water was just
48:28
going to be endless. Yeah, I
48:30
mean they get a lot more
48:33
rain out there, but yeah, still
48:35
seems like I mean they're on
48:37
Like I said you walk by
48:39
Sunday two in the morning. There's
48:41
nobody around everything is closed and
48:43
those fucking things are bubbly If
48:45
you thirst you that's when you
48:47
want to be away Or maybe
48:50
if that was LA We'd have
48:52
people stealing the water Who would
48:54
steal water? And I'd go, listen.
48:56
We have people crawling under Priuses
48:58
at four in the morning with
49:00
the sawsall stealing catalytic converters. We
49:02
just, I just saw this thing
49:05
with our mayor saying they're doing
49:07
a bunch of solar-paneled streetlights because
49:09
none of the streetlights work because
49:11
they pulled the copper wiring out.
49:13
So you tell me the Bubbler
49:15
theft? That's a bridge too far
49:17
for Bima from LA. They're pulling
49:19
fucking hot wire out of street
49:22
lamps at two in the morning.
49:24
I think they'll steal this fucking
49:26
water too. Also they steal, have
49:28
you seen that there's a guy
49:30
on TikTok who goes around every
49:32
city with a plug and plugs
49:34
in just, you know, like outside
49:36
of a business, there's just like
49:39
a plug and he plugs in,
49:41
he's like, there's power, free power,
49:43
and he checks everywhere, and there's
49:45
just so much free electricity. in
49:47
Portland who was like in a
49:49
one of those Winnebago's but he'd
49:51
tapped into the power system and
49:54
like tapped into the water system
49:56
and I'm like First off, don't
49:58
tell me that guy's unemployable. He
50:00
just parallel parked 32 foot Winnebago
50:02
in the middle of the city
50:04
got out of it tied into
50:06
the fucking electrical grid and tied
50:08
into the fucking waters. He's like
50:11
he's on a George Foreman grill
50:13
in there and he's just turned
50:15
his jacuzzi on for later. That
50:17
guy can't get a job. That
50:19
guy's one of the most employable
50:21
guys I want to hire that
50:23
guy. Yeah I'm surprised guys if
50:25
that was LA that would They
50:28
would tap into the bubler, befilling
50:30
big jugs of it, and dragging
50:32
it, like, to the Home Depot,
50:34
and trying to sell it in
50:36
front of the Home Depot. Yeah.
50:38
I saw the, in the world
50:40
of jobs that are too, I
50:43
don't know what the return is.
50:45
The guy in front of the
50:47
Home Depot over here, who sells
50:49
the chopped up papaya and the
50:51
pineapple and shit on the car
50:53
with the machete. I love the
50:55
idea that there's no regulation involved
50:57
with that guy. It's like, hey,
51:00
what's to sell food with his
51:02
hands in front of those people?
51:04
You don't know what's happening. Yeah,
51:06
it sounds like he's trying to
51:08
add on a porch or smoke
51:10
on the beach or something, walk
51:12
his dog on the beach, we
51:14
don't have to enforce any of
51:17
this. But I saw that guy
51:19
loading up that cart in the
51:21
back of the truck, go drive
51:23
home. Go to the wholesale papaya
51:25
district or something at four in
51:27
the morning and get that shit
51:29
cut it all up packet nice
51:32
like show up at the Home
51:34
Depot at 7 a.m. Stand like
51:36
or you can just get a
51:38
fucking job for UPS or something
51:40
like or find Something I don't
51:42
know when he's not getting I
51:44
don't got no papers, but I
51:46
don't know you got to go
51:49
outside the realm of regular work.
51:51
He's got to work under the
51:53
table. Yeah under the cart and
51:55
they don't have any fruit regulations,
51:57
but they don't let you serve
51:59
those Bacon-rapped hot dogs. Oh, they
52:01
do. Oh, they do about it.
52:03
They got those you have them,
52:06
but there it's illegal well as
52:08
I was thinking at eight in
52:10
the morning when I got woken
52:12
up by a leaf blower. Yeah,
52:14
so it's woken up by a
52:16
bacon wrapped hot. What is the,
52:18
what is the story with the
52:21
Bubbler? Portland must have had, they
52:23
must have tried to shut the
52:25
Bubblers a thousand times. Really? Well,
52:27
like you. Well, what I'm saying
52:29
is, is I could go, look,
52:31
you know, it's a. 1931, I'm
52:33
a rich industrialist and I'm going
52:35
to dedicate a swastika to the
52:38
town square, whatever. And then some
52:40
point I would die in 1963
52:42
and no one would go, we
52:44
got to keep this, you know.
52:46
You got to go, no, we
52:48
don't want this. I mean, you
52:50
guys tear down statues all fucking
52:52
day, every day in Portland. Why,
52:55
why are we putting up with
52:57
the bubbleers? There's something that's baked
52:59
in. Maybe it's big bubbler. You
53:01
know, grease in the palms, you
53:03
know. Yeah, they got their lobbyists
53:05
out there, spread the money around.
53:07
These guys go right from the
53:10
drinking fountain manufacturing, right into big
53:12
bubble, and they become lobbyists, and
53:14
their greased humans farm. Totally in
53:16
with them. Yeah, he's in with
53:18
big bubler. Hey man, they support
53:20
my whole campaign. I don't know
53:22
what I'm gonna do. Go let
53:24
my campaign go down the train.
53:27
Next, what is the Bubbler story?
53:29
Because there's, they can't like it.
53:31
It's gotta be great for birds.
53:33
Yeah. I mean, you're a bird.
53:35
Maybe it is about Halah for
53:37
you, like just going into the
53:39
poor. And I'm just gonna hang
53:41
out in these Bublers. It's their
53:44
way of making up for windows.
53:46
Nobody. Which has really been the
53:48
death of a lot of birds.
53:50
You know, it is, but in
53:52
a way. Ryan
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a lot of people. In America, there's,
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between jobs. Nick Thune is on
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the Adam Corolla show. It's got
1:16:59
a standard special, Born Young, is
1:17:02
available as we speak on YouTube.
1:17:04
Got dates. Gonna be at the
1:17:06
Allegiant Theater in Los Angeles. It'll
1:17:08
be April 19th and then May
1:17:10
28th Irvine at the Irvine improv
1:17:12
You go to nickthoon.com. What do
1:17:15
you got in the news? Man,
1:17:17
all right, first up got some
1:17:19
video. No audio a woman's fencer
1:17:21
opens up on refusing to face
1:17:24
transgender opponent Accepting punishment and backlash.
1:17:26
I'm sure you she's getting punishment.
1:17:28
Yeah The female fencer says the
1:17:30
issue is turning for my lifelong
1:17:33
Democrat, a conservative Republican. How much,
1:17:35
how, you know, you think a
1:17:37
certain sports, you know, and you
1:17:39
go, what's the advantage? You know,
1:17:42
what's the advantage here? And you watch
1:17:44
highlights of the W NBA and
1:17:46
then the next highlight clip is
1:17:48
the NBA and you go, okay,
1:17:50
there's a big difference here between
1:17:53
men and women. But fencing,
1:17:55
I feel like it could be some. Like
1:17:57
with some reach? You know, maybe the little
1:17:59
arm base, really? Women are okay on
1:18:01
their feet and they love to
1:18:03
cut up with it. Like they're
1:18:05
inspired. You know what I mean?
1:18:08
They're almost motivated. You know what
1:18:10
I mean? You get to stab
1:18:12
a dude. Yeah, this is her,
1:18:14
taking off her helmet, taking a
1:18:16
knee, and essentially saying that, you
1:18:18
know, I can't face you because
1:18:20
you're a man. She says this.
1:18:22
It's a weird sport. They have
1:18:25
a tether attached to them. It's
1:18:27
really. It's essentially the opposite of
1:18:29
sword fighting as we know it
1:18:31
through cinema. You know what I
1:18:33
mean? Like I grew up with
1:18:35
the three musketeers, man. It was
1:18:37
guys, guys would slash a rope
1:18:39
and a whole candle, you know,
1:18:42
whole, uh-oh, slash the candle-obra, they'd
1:18:44
slash the rope. Well, first they'd
1:18:46
like swing on the shandler, then
1:18:48
they'd slash the rope and the
1:18:50
shandler, all on all the guards
1:18:52
for you. They don't make them
1:18:54
to capture guardsmen anymore. You know,
1:18:56
and it was like stuff was
1:18:59
getting knocked over and guys were
1:19:01
carving, you know, the zena guy's
1:19:03
chest, you know, and they're wearing
1:19:05
a mustache and something. Now they're
1:19:07
all fucking patted up with a
1:19:09
tether on them and stuff. Like,
1:19:11
I don't, I don't get it.
1:19:13
It's a game of tag, yeah.
1:19:16
Well, she got black carded for
1:19:18
this, I guess, in Fencer, parlance,
1:19:20
that's like, like, really bad. She
1:19:22
disallowed from competing in tournaments again.
1:19:24
So, sports been like behavior. This
1:19:26
is like, it's one of those,
1:19:28
it's a, I don't, you know,
1:19:30
the argument is, here's the argument.
1:19:33
The right goes, we don't want
1:19:35
women, men competing with women, by
1:19:37
the way, there's never beef about
1:19:39
the other way around. No one
1:19:41
ever goes a this chick wants
1:19:43
to join the men's football team
1:19:45
and no one everyone goes like
1:19:47
fine because I don't think they
1:19:49
have an advantage like it only
1:19:52
goes one direction the beef is
1:19:54
with a physical advantage over over
1:19:56
your Sports, here's the thing about
1:19:58
sports, everybody. Listen to me. Sports
1:20:00
are all about parody all the
1:20:02
time. That's all they do. NASCAR,
1:20:04
F1, the scrutinyering is insane. I
1:20:06
mean, every car needs to pass
1:20:09
tech, 100%. Even in my vintage
1:20:11
racing, they have tech. inspections for
1:20:13
cars and they will tell you
1:20:15
they go okay we're doing this
1:20:17
vintage race it's the Rolex historic
1:20:19
in Monterey here's your run group
1:20:21
here are the tires you can
1:20:23
run you cannot run modern tires
1:20:26
it's unfair to other people for
1:20:28
you to be on these biased
1:20:30
these non-biased slicks or whatever whereas
1:20:32
other guys are running old-schools tires
1:20:34
that would be appropriate with the
1:20:36
era that the car was raised.
1:20:38
So they got tons of rules
1:20:40
because they go, look, it's got
1:20:43
to be just the driver. We're
1:20:45
going to check and they pass
1:20:47
the car through through tech. F1
1:20:49
is like forget about it. Templates
1:20:51
and measurements and weights and blah
1:20:53
blah blah. If a car has
1:20:55
like an advantage, like back in
1:20:57
the day, they'll start adding weight
1:21:00
to the back of the car
1:21:02
to stop their advantage. Brady had
1:21:04
four less pounds in his football
1:21:06
of air and they're like, fuck
1:21:08
that. No, they have to be,
1:21:10
you cannot deflate gate over here.
1:21:12
We don't need to put gate
1:21:14
behind everything. I don't know why
1:21:17
we do that all the time.
1:21:19
But the point is, is all
1:21:21
we go, all we do is
1:21:23
parody. That's all we do. Or
1:21:25
how about, you know, oh, it's
1:21:27
the little league and there's a
1:21:29
guy on the 13 year old
1:21:31
team, but he's Dominican and he
1:21:34
lost this. his driver's license and
1:21:36
he's got a mustache and we
1:21:38
you know it's like oh we
1:21:40
can't have a 17 year old
1:21:42
playing with the 13 year olds
1:21:44
and it's all parody that's all
1:21:46
it is we go we need
1:21:48
to even out the playing field.
1:21:51
I mean, they even have, you
1:21:53
know, it's like in football, they
1:21:55
go, you go this direction for
1:21:57
the first half and then you
1:21:59
go the other direction, the second
1:22:01
half, in case there's something going
1:22:03
on. The wind is blowing or
1:22:05
the fields a little out of
1:22:08
kilter, whatever it is. Zero advantages.
1:22:10
So this is really just an
1:22:12
extension of what we always do,
1:22:14
which is there's no buddy in
1:22:16
the MLB who plays with an
1:22:18
aluminum bat. And if you did
1:22:20
try to go to the plate
1:22:22
with a little bat, they'd be
1:22:25
like, now, gotta be out of
1:22:27
hickory or whatever, whatever. Now they
1:22:29
do the torpedo bat. But see?
1:22:31
Same thing, though. You're making my
1:22:33
point, which is, somebody came out
1:22:35
with a bat that's a little
1:22:37
bit different in shape, and now
1:22:39
it's a big discussion. Can we
1:22:42
use this bat? Is it an
1:22:44
advantage? because we need parity. So
1:22:46
that's all this is. The guy's
1:22:48
got a little more muscle mass,
1:22:50
a little taller, a little stronger,
1:22:52
he's got an advantage, so we're
1:22:54
against it. And then the Democrats
1:22:56
are like, what are you guys
1:22:59
obsessed with this for? And the
1:23:01
answer is like, we didn't want
1:23:03
to be obsessed with it, but
1:23:05
this thing started happening, and then
1:23:07
we said no, that's all. You
1:23:09
don't have to be obsessed with
1:23:11
it, just... No. His fencing culture,
1:23:13
I guess, a lot of people
1:23:16
are from colleges and whatnot, so
1:23:18
it's a very woke kind of
1:23:20
culture. What would be the sport
1:23:22
that would work? Like bowling, men
1:23:24
have a higher average, right? Obviously,
1:23:26
there's the football and the wrestling
1:23:28
and that boxing or combat sports
1:23:30
or something, but fencing would be
1:23:33
getting around, down to a spot,
1:23:35
like I don't even really understand
1:23:37
why there's a women's division in
1:23:39
pool. You know what I mean?
1:23:41
Shouldn't we just... Yeah, huh? Yeah.
1:23:43
It's like, I don't know, how
1:23:45
much upper bodies it take? Is
1:23:47
there anything where it doesn't, they
1:23:50
don't have a division? Yeah, horse
1:23:52
jumping. Really? Yes. Oh yeah? Yeah,
1:23:54
it's true, yeah. So they do
1:23:56
that in the horse jumping competition.
1:23:58
Men and females compete. Yeah, side
1:24:00
by side. That's because it's those
1:24:02
jockey, those really. Yeah, women are
1:24:04
lighter normally than men. So maybe
1:24:06
they do have a little advantage
1:24:09
there. And they fucking, they fucking
1:24:11
love horses. Every girl has a
1:24:13
phase where it's like, I love
1:24:15
a horse, I need a horse.
1:24:17
Oh yeah. Yeah, the size of
1:24:19
there. Yeah. I couldn't imagine making
1:24:21
the pitch to my parents. Hey.
1:24:23
I'm looking at horses this week
1:24:26
and what do you say? Like
1:24:28
you're not even getting Levi's, you're
1:24:30
getting fucking tough kids. I forget
1:24:32
about a horse. A horse. I
1:24:34
would have loved to make that
1:24:36
pitch. I'd like to go back
1:24:38
in time and film myself asking
1:24:40
my parents for shit that my
1:24:43
kids asked me for. Genuinely. Yeah,
1:24:45
like my daughter's like, look, I
1:24:47
got the Mercedes, you leased me,
1:24:49
but next time around like a
1:24:51
convertible, if that be cool. Like
1:24:53
I just like to watch my
1:24:55
dad's face. You want what? Like,
1:24:57
it'd be the craziest, that'd be
1:25:00
the best show ever. Adam builds
1:25:02
a time machine and asks him
1:25:04
to get asked. You should be
1:25:06
like, no? Like, what do you
1:25:08
mean, a horse? Like, well, my
1:25:10
parents would be confused. Like, I
1:25:12
go to them, uh, I want
1:25:14
to go to space camp this
1:25:17
year, it's in Tampa, Florida. They
1:25:19
just, they'd look at me, like,
1:25:21
I don't know if you're. I
1:25:23
don't know what you're asking. Like
1:25:25
they wouldn't go, you know, how
1:25:27
much money that would go. I
1:25:29
think it would, it'd be like
1:25:31
talking to a person, it'd be
1:25:34
like finding a person from 1812
1:25:36
and pulling out your cell phone
1:25:38
and going, you want to check
1:25:40
it out? You want to see
1:25:42
what maps are like? Or we
1:25:44
can watch people, fuck. You just
1:25:46
go like this, go, what, what,
1:25:48
what, what, what, your sorcerer? From
1:25:51
the future. All right, what else
1:25:53
you got, man? A little sad
1:25:55
news here. Miller Gardner's toxicology results
1:25:57
confirm his cause of death after
1:25:59
the Yankees' great son, 14, died
1:26:01
on vacation. Yeah, apparently he died.
1:26:03
of carbon monoxide inhalation, the son
1:26:05
of a... Where were they? His
1:26:08
legend, Brett Gardner. They were in
1:26:10
Costa Rica. Costa Rican authorities said
1:26:12
that the hotel room, yeah, filled
1:26:14
with carbon monoxide. And the rest
1:26:16
of the family was suffering a
1:26:18
mysterious illness. Carbon, I've had carbon
1:26:20
monoxide. Mm-hmm. Oh man. First off,
1:26:22
that's the way to die. Yeah.
1:26:25
It is. It's the equivalent of
1:26:27
the bird hitting the glass. You
1:26:29
go to bed. You just go
1:26:31
to bed and you don't wake
1:26:33
up. That's it. There's no, there's
1:26:35
no pain. There's no, if there
1:26:37
was a struggle, you would wake
1:26:39
up and stagger out of the
1:26:42
room. You do not, you just,
1:26:44
you go to bed. That's it.
1:26:46
And that's why people used to
1:26:48
kill themselves in their cars all
1:26:50
the time before all these catalytic
1:26:52
converters and oxygen pumps and all
1:26:54
this VPA bullshit. They just put
1:26:56
the hose in the exhaust pad.
1:26:59
Yeah, how many scenes in every
1:27:01
movie we've seen that it's like
1:27:03
yeah, fire it up, go to
1:27:05
bed, just go to bed. The
1:27:07
carbon monoxide makes you sleepy like
1:27:09
coming out of oral surgery kind
1:27:11
of vibe, you know, or like
1:27:13
that. Yeah, going under when they
1:27:16
put you under, that's what it
1:27:18
feels like. It's not like drowning.
1:27:20
No, there's no struggle. I'm saying
1:27:22
this to anyone who's thinking about
1:27:24
killing themselves. Don't jump off a
1:27:26
fucking skyscraper. You're going to land
1:27:28
on somebody. He's just walking their
1:27:30
dog. You know what I mean?
1:27:33
And don't do death by cop
1:27:35
or whatever. That guy's got to
1:27:37
live with that. Carbon monoxide, man.
1:27:39
You literally go to bed. You
1:27:41
should do some PSAs. I should.
1:27:43
And I'd start off. Hey, I'm
1:27:45
Adam Kroll. But I have to
1:27:47
do that from the Man Show.
1:27:50
Like, I have to do that
1:27:52
from, you know, from the Man
1:27:54
Show. You might remember me from
1:27:56
the Man Show. Yeah, I gotta
1:27:58
do that you might remember me
1:28:00
at the beginning. Because otherwise, it's
1:28:02
going to be like, I was
1:28:04
this dude. talking about this. And
1:28:07
it's just creeping in. And see,
1:28:09
in places that are kind of
1:28:11
third worldy, they don't have their
1:28:13
shit figured out. So you just
1:28:15
go to bed and the heaters
1:28:17
on and the heaters is not
1:28:19
properly ventilated and it's going into
1:28:21
the thing and it's pumping through
1:28:23
the thing. Yeah, carbon dioxide will
1:28:26
fuck you up. It will kill
1:28:28
you. And there's nothing you're gonna
1:28:30
do about it because you just
1:28:32
go, I'm going to bed. And
1:28:34
it's just creeping in. and you
1:28:36
can't smell it and you just
1:28:38
don't wake up. And if you
1:28:40
do, you're completely out of it
1:28:43
and you're nauseous and everything else.
1:28:45
Yeah, those carbon monoxide dreams are.
1:28:47
Oh my God. Yeah, I got
1:28:49
a car down a dentist. Yeah.
1:28:51
You gotta load some highway. Yeah.
1:28:53
Yeah, I had the dream. I
1:28:55
was in a bathroom at a
1:28:57
comedy club and some bitch was
1:29:00
shitting up the stall next to
1:29:02
me. I was like, oh, I
1:29:04
got this Bible the door. I
1:29:06
can't, I can't get out of
1:29:08
here. It's a crazy dream, man.
1:29:10
Really quick. Were you friends with,
1:29:12
you know, Greg Geraldo? Yeah. Oh,
1:29:14
I wasn't friends with, but I
1:29:17
know. Somebody told me this funny
1:29:19
joke that he did the other
1:29:21
day. He was pissing next to
1:29:23
somebody in one of those bathrooms.
1:29:25
No, he didn't do the joke
1:29:27
the other day. No, but no,
1:29:29
yeah, told about this experience. Yeah,
1:29:31
gone for 10 years. And they
1:29:34
had those little dividers between the
1:29:36
urinals and in the middle of
1:29:38
being he knocked on it and
1:29:40
said, I hate these things. All
1:29:42
right, sad, but that is a.
1:29:44
Does not happen in this country
1:29:46
at the Sheridan Universal or whatever
1:29:48
like that is a thing as
1:29:51
much as I rail this country
1:29:53
they get eaten by alligators That's
1:29:55
right in Florida as much as
1:29:57
I like to rail against you
1:29:59
know red tape and over regulation
1:30:01
and shit like that yeah we
1:30:03
got building codes here and that
1:30:05
shit doesn't happen here explain this
1:30:08
because it doesn't say it in
1:30:10
the you know what? What would
1:30:12
be the likely reason for this?
1:30:14
You know, would it be, you
1:30:16
know, if you violate some code,
1:30:18
there's some type of carbon monoxide
1:30:20
released from somewhere in the house,
1:30:22
they didn't state it in this
1:30:25
new, the report. I don't know
1:30:27
why in Costa Rica or whatever
1:30:29
it was, if you turn your
1:30:31
heater on and your heater is
1:30:33
not properly vented, it'll kick back
1:30:35
just like fires start when people
1:30:37
turn their dryers on and the
1:30:39
vents are filled with lid. But
1:30:42
get a carbon monoxide alarm as
1:30:44
well as a smoke alarm. The
1:30:46
thing about a fire is fires
1:30:48
are kind of loud if you
1:30:50
ever really think about a fire
1:30:52
like stuff burning is loud and
1:30:54
I mean My neighbor's house caught
1:30:56
on fire a million years ago.
1:30:59
I was a million feet away
1:31:01
like watching sports under my den
1:31:03
and I could hear it pop
1:31:05
pop, you know, whatever you you
1:31:07
wake up you smell it and
1:31:09
you hear it and then you
1:31:11
get up and you go I'll
1:31:13
fucking crawl out of the window
1:31:16
my underpass. Carbon monoxide you just
1:31:18
go to bed and you do
1:31:20
not wake up and there's no
1:31:22
anything going off so you need
1:31:24
a carbon monoxide alarm detector really
1:31:26
but there's they're built in to
1:31:28
a lot of smoke detectors and
1:31:30
there I don't know 25 bucks
1:31:33
or something so it's no big
1:31:35
deal to do it. You know
1:31:37
what's weird? Look up Vedas garylytes.
1:31:39
You guys know Vedas garylytuses? Never
1:31:41
met him. Yeah, she's hot. Well,
1:31:43
I never met Abraham Lincoln, but
1:31:45
you know, Vedas garylytuses. No, no.
1:31:47
Okay. Vedas garylytus was a professional
1:31:50
ranked, maybe Wimbledon winning tennis player.
1:31:52
Like top ranked. back in you
1:31:54
know with the John McEnroe days
1:31:56
and all that kind of stuff.
1:31:58
Oh no you're thinking of you're
1:32:00
thinking of the other guy. Okay.
1:32:02
thing a burent war. There we
1:32:04
go. I'm in the same era
1:32:07
though, right? It's like a crossover.
1:32:09
Yeah, fetus gary lice. I know
1:32:11
his biggest win was. I don't
1:32:13
know if he won the French
1:32:15
Open or he won. Wimbledon, like
1:32:17
what is fetus gary litis biggest
1:32:19
tennis win and what year is
1:32:21
it? One you can yell into
1:32:24
a picture of him. I shower.
1:32:26
No. There's no. Biggest win was
1:32:28
1977 Australian Open Champion. Okay, so
1:32:30
look up how Vitis Gariolitis died.
1:32:32
Now, we'll look that up. I'm
1:32:34
sitting in a room in Las
1:32:36
Vegas about three or four weeks
1:32:38
ago at the building and home
1:32:40
convention. And I'm talking to different
1:32:43
guys who come in and they
1:32:45
go, some guys make doors and
1:32:47
windows and some guys make cabinets
1:32:49
and some guys make flooring and
1:32:51
you talk to them and I
1:32:53
go, I'm going to build a
1:32:55
house in Nevada and we're going
1:32:57
to build a house in Nevada
1:33:00
and we're going to do a
1:33:02
showhouse and we're going to do
1:33:04
a showhouse and get your product
1:33:06
in it and we're going to
1:33:08
get your product in. Well, I
1:33:10
know everything. So it's easy for
1:33:12
me to talk to them about
1:33:14
whatever it is they're making, whatever
1:33:17
their product is. So there's like
1:33:19
50 something year old guy like
1:33:21
he comes in and he sits
1:33:23
down and I go, what are
1:33:25
you guys doing? I go, well,
1:33:27
we do smoke detectors and carbon
1:33:29
monoxide detectors. Vedas died at age
1:33:31
40, improperly installed propane heater for
1:33:34
the swimming pool. He was staying
1:33:36
in a guest house at a
1:33:38
friend's house, went to a friend's
1:33:40
house and and... and used the
1:33:42
guest house and he died asleep
1:33:44
in the guest house of some
1:33:46
rich family because they had carbon
1:33:48
dioxide wasn't they didn't have their
1:33:51
propane pool heater or something was
1:33:53
fucked up and it went into
1:33:55
the guest house. Oh, by the
1:33:57
way, if a high-profile rich white
1:33:59
guy dies in your fucking guest
1:34:01
house and you're rich, you got
1:34:03
to douse him with vodka and
1:34:05
drag him out to the pool
1:34:08
and just draw a pool because
1:34:10
it's, that's how we found it
1:34:12
because you're going to get the
1:34:14
shit suit out of you by
1:34:16
his family, right? Yeah. I mean,
1:34:18
all you do is I guess
1:34:20
Venus had a few pops. They
1:34:22
may have just spell under the
1:34:25
pool at night, but yeah, but
1:34:27
if it's carbon monoxide You're getting
1:34:29
your ass sued off, right? There's
1:34:31
there's always going to be something
1:34:33
where somebody told you there could
1:34:35
be an issue and it wasn't
1:34:37
properly ventilated But you didn't fix
1:34:39
it, you know, whatever that is
1:34:42
all right. So this guy comes
1:34:44
in And he goes, I go,
1:34:46
what do you do? We're meeting
1:34:48
in the building the building the
1:34:50
building show and he goes we
1:34:52
do carbon monoxide testers and I
1:34:54
go oh man. Yeah Yeah, you
1:34:56
don't want to end up like
1:34:59
v to scariolitis and he goes
1:35:01
who? I go, really, there's one
1:35:03
dude who died, one guy, one
1:35:05
guy, one guy who died because
1:35:07
he didn't have your product in,
1:35:09
he got posters of him like
1:35:11
in your showroom and he's like,
1:35:13
I don't know what that is.
1:35:16
And I'm like... You
1:35:18
should know who beat a scary
1:35:20
lightest is a because he was
1:35:22
he won the Australian Open number
1:35:24
one, but number two he died
1:35:26
of carbon monoxide poison Yeah, he's
1:35:29
like the Michael Jordan of carbon
1:35:31
monoxide. Yes, that's what I said.
1:35:33
He was like you were there
1:35:35
I was like what you want
1:35:37
is you want you you need
1:35:39
it's it's like You
1:35:42
need a poster child for something.
1:35:44
It's like when that kid got
1:35:46
AIDS from the blood transfusion and
1:35:48
all of a sudden they became
1:35:50
a poster child for this and
1:35:52
he got a lot of that
1:35:55
rejuvenated the whole movement, you know?
1:35:57
All right, anyway. I'm just saying,
1:35:59
look, I don't expect these guys
1:36:01
in the booth to know who
1:36:03
beat a scary lightest. But if
1:36:05
they were in their 50s and
1:36:08
they sold carbon monoxide detectors, I
1:36:10
would. That's all. Did you give
1:36:12
the guy the tip and now
1:36:14
he knows and that? It was
1:36:16
him and his partner. Yeah. They
1:36:19
were trying to sell me on
1:36:21
their product and I was like,
1:36:23
we're not doing any of this
1:36:25
until we look up fetus cariolitis.
1:36:27
Like, I'm not going along with
1:36:29
this. Oh, look at them. Good
1:36:32
looking, dude. Died at 40. You
1:36:34
know, you're your tennis champion, you
1:36:36
know, you're in fantastic shape. Damn.
1:36:38
But like I said, just went
1:36:40
to bed in the guest house.
1:36:43
Turn on the heater. Went to
1:36:45
bed. That's how horrible that is.
1:36:47
All right. We got our next
1:36:49
guest waiting over there on Zoom,
1:36:51
Adam B. Coleman. So I'm going
1:36:53
to bid a due to you
1:36:56
two. Nick, always great to see
1:36:58
you, my friend. Great to be
1:37:00
here. I'm very glad things are
1:37:02
working out for you. Born Young
1:37:04
is the name of the Stand-up
1:37:07
Special and dates as well, nickthoon.com.
1:37:09
Take quick break. Be right back
1:37:11
right after this. O'Reilly
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I've always gone to O'Reilly
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Kansas City. Hey. just listen
1:40:01
to the first seven chapters
1:40:03
of Not Taco Bell material
1:40:05
Jesus. I fucking hate your
1:40:07
parents, and I hate your
1:40:10
whole family Hey, uh, have
1:40:12
a good weekend You can
1:40:14
leave us a message at
1:40:16
888 634 1 7 4
1:40:18
4 Well Adam B Coleman
1:40:20
is joining us via Zoom's
1:40:22
got a book out the
1:40:24
children we left behind how
1:40:27
Western culture rationalizes wait is
1:40:29
that the right word? Yeah,
1:40:31
rationalizes family separation and ignores
1:40:33
the pain of child neglect.
1:40:35
It is out as we
1:40:37
speak. Good to see Adam.
1:40:39
Thank you for having me
1:40:41
honest. Nice to meet you.
1:40:44
Yeah, so specifically, it's really
1:40:46
the destruction of the black
1:40:48
nuclear family is the root
1:40:50
of all problems for and
1:40:52
and and It's an equal
1:40:54
opportunity destroyer. It will destroy
1:40:56
any culture regardless of the
1:40:59
color your skin. The families
1:41:01
that stay together do the
1:41:03
best, whatever you are, and
1:41:05
white people don't have the
1:41:07
market cornered on that. We've
1:41:09
got a 50% failing grade
1:41:11
on that as well, and
1:41:13
that's why Asians and Jews
1:41:16
and others, Nigerians are above
1:41:18
us. Yeah,
1:41:20
I mean just as you were
1:41:22
saying it's not just one particular
1:41:25
group. That's why I I wanted
1:41:27
to point out Western culture It's
1:41:29
not just the United States. It's
1:41:31
the United Kingdom. It's other Western
1:41:34
nations that are facing Family separation
1:41:36
issues It's just that United States
1:41:38
is number one in United Kingdom
1:41:40
is number two But the family
1:41:43
separation issue is very personal to
1:41:45
me because that's that's my childhood
1:41:47
story I wanted to use my
1:41:49
story as an example what happens
1:41:52
The obvious is someone who gets
1:41:54
into crime, you know, breaks into
1:41:56
your house, you look at their
1:41:58
history and they come from foster
1:42:01
care, they come from dysfunction. But
1:42:03
there are... lot who are suffering
1:42:05
in silence. You don't know that
1:42:07
they're going through these things and
1:42:10
the dysfunction turns out to be
1:42:12
things that maybe it's not illegal,
1:42:14
but it is slowly destroying our
1:42:16
society. Yes, so every time I
1:42:19
hear a person who claims to
1:42:21
represent the black community talk about
1:42:23
having an honest conversation about what's
1:42:25
going on in the black community,
1:42:28
they seem to miss this one.
1:42:30
topic. They talk about systemic racism
1:42:32
and everything under the sun, environmental
1:42:34
racism, just COVID racism. And I've
1:42:37
been, obviously, I've been yelling about
1:42:39
the whole family angle for, since
1:42:41
I've, for 30 years into a
1:42:44
microphone, and you just, you basically
1:42:46
get called a racist. If you
1:42:48
do that, and politicians stay away
1:42:50
from it, but it is insane
1:42:53
that they're working on everything else,
1:42:55
but they're working on the cause
1:42:57
of the problem. Yeah,
1:43:01
I mean I have a question
1:43:03
are they actually working on something
1:43:05
else or are they just deviating
1:43:07
about it? But the reason why
1:43:09
nothing changes is because like you
1:43:12
said the root of all of
1:43:14
this comes from some sort of
1:43:16
family dysfunction and it just becomes
1:43:18
Especially when we talk about black
1:43:20
Americans I've been saying that it
1:43:23
becomes a normal cultural aspect. I
1:43:25
use my wife as an example.
1:43:27
She grew up in bedside Brooklyn
1:43:29
in her entire neighborhood Every family
1:43:31
had basically no father in the
1:43:34
home except for one and they
1:43:36
were from the Caribbean. So for
1:43:38
her, it was normal. You know,
1:43:40
she grew up without her father
1:43:42
as well and no one questioned
1:43:44
it. And this is part of
1:43:47
the problem. That's like a microcosm.
1:43:49
If you talk about black Americans
1:43:51
in certain places where it becomes
1:43:53
normal, but what I'm seeing is
1:43:55
that it's becoming normal throughout all
1:43:58
of America where every person I
1:44:00
come in contact with knows someone
1:44:02
who's dealing with family separation. whether
1:44:04
it's through divorce or whether it's
1:44:06
through single parenthood, no marriage situation.
1:44:09
Well, as I would always say,
1:44:11
and I used to do a
1:44:13
show called Love Line and we
1:44:15
talked a lot of troubled people
1:44:17
back in the day, and I
1:44:19
would say talking to all these
1:44:22
troubled people, I go, look, you
1:44:24
can talk about... prison reform, you
1:44:26
can talk about defund the police,
1:44:28
you can talk about school and
1:44:30
vouchers and school choice, you can
1:44:33
talk about crime, you can talk
1:44:35
about suicide, you can talk about
1:44:37
everything that, every ill of our
1:44:39
society, every single thing, it all
1:44:41
stems from this thing, the family.
1:44:43
And so the family is the
1:44:46
hub. and then the rest are
1:44:48
the spokes that just go away
1:44:50
from the hub in many many
1:44:52
different directions and but it all
1:44:54
comes back to the hub and
1:44:57
if we would focus on the
1:44:59
hub like you guys want to
1:45:01
talk about more funding for after-school
1:45:03
special after-school activities or free lunches
1:45:05
or programs where the parks stay
1:45:08
open until midnight and there's security
1:45:10
there for these kids that don't
1:45:12
have a place to go are
1:45:14
feeding the kids during the summer
1:45:16
time when they're not at school
1:45:18
because they don't have food that
1:45:21
they can eat and I like
1:45:23
all or we can just talk
1:45:25
about the family we can fix
1:45:27
that family up and then we
1:45:29
have to worry about the crime
1:45:32
and the poverty and the desperation.
1:45:35
Yeah, exactly. You know, this is
1:45:37
the difference between talking about supplements
1:45:39
and replacements, right? You want after
1:45:42
school, after school type of programs,
1:45:44
and you want better this and
1:45:46
better that? Those are supplemental. They're
1:45:48
not replacements for a proper structured
1:45:50
home. Just in the situation we
1:45:52
talk about education, education. Obviously it's
1:45:54
terrible for multitude of reasons, especially
1:45:56
in the public education space. But
1:45:58
at the end of the day,
1:46:00
where are these kids coming from?
1:46:02
Are they coming from a dysfunctional
1:46:04
home? Are they coming from a
1:46:06
dysfunctional home? Are they coming from
1:46:08
a home where the single mother
1:46:10
is working long hours, working multiple
1:46:13
jobs to take care of the
1:46:15
kids? And by the time she
1:46:17
comes home, she can't study with
1:46:19
their children. She's not focused on
1:46:21
it because she can't. She has
1:46:23
so much pressure on her. These
1:46:25
are unfair circumstances for her to
1:46:27
be in. to try to up,
1:46:29
try to satisfy every single need
1:46:31
of the home. So we have
1:46:33
to kind of look at that
1:46:35
bigger picture of the home, because
1:46:37
everything else, you can have all
1:46:39
the programs you want. You can
1:46:42
reform all these things that you
1:46:44
want, but if the root of
1:46:46
it is spoiled, then everything else
1:46:48
will follow suit. Yeah, and I
1:46:50
guess everyone knows it. It's a
1:46:52
third rail for politicians, so they
1:46:54
never get near it. Democrats especially,
1:46:56
they just, we need more funding,
1:46:58
you know, we need to get
1:47:00
them tablets and laptop computers and
1:47:02
stuff. It's like, look, if it's
1:47:04
chaos at home, it's not about
1:47:06
technology. It's not about funding. Everything
1:47:08
for them is funding. We just
1:47:10
need more money so we can
1:47:13
fix this problem. But the people
1:47:15
that irk me the most, and
1:47:17
it's not really the Al Sharptons
1:47:19
and the Jesse Jackson Junior, it's
1:47:21
not really the race hustlers are
1:47:23
just... Race hustling they're they're getting
1:47:25
paid like they're doing what they're
1:47:27
doing. That's their job It's it's
1:47:29
kind of sad that that's a
1:47:31
job race hustling To me the
1:47:33
sad part is when? Biden becomes
1:47:35
a race hustler and Obama becomes
1:47:37
a race hustler and LeBron James
1:47:39
becomes a race hustler and Oprah
1:47:42
becomes a race hustler like I
1:47:44
feel these are very powerful cultural
1:47:46
people Michelle Obama they could start
1:47:48
saying something about on this subject
1:47:50
and they never do it's just
1:47:52
more discussion about a racist society
1:47:54
and by the way If I
1:47:56
listen to them and I was
1:47:58
young and black, I wouldn't even
1:48:00
try, according to what they're saying.
1:48:02
But are you as disappointed as
1:48:04
I am in these people because
1:48:06
they're in this position and could
1:48:08
really make a profound difference, I
1:48:11
feel? I mean, I am, but
1:48:13
at this point, I don't really
1:48:15
expect them to do much of
1:48:17
anything. I think at the end
1:48:19
of the day, yes, there are
1:48:21
certain figures who are in the
1:48:23
public eye. who can help to
1:48:25
shift the conversation or to at
1:48:27
least bring things up like what
1:48:29
we're trying to do here. We're
1:48:31
trying to talk about these things
1:48:33
so we can actually get people
1:48:35
towards an actual solution. But at
1:48:37
the end of the day, I
1:48:39
think it comes down to people
1:48:42
are afraid of being accountable. See,
1:48:44
if you say that the issue
1:48:46
is within your home, that means
1:48:48
that you're the one responsible for
1:48:50
it. Not some Republican, not some
1:48:52
Democrat you are. And you have
1:48:54
to look yourself in the mirror
1:48:56
and ask yourself, what did you
1:48:58
do to ruin your family? Did
1:49:00
you make poor decisions? You know,
1:49:02
why are your kids dysfunctional? And
1:49:04
then what happens is, what we
1:49:06
don't want to look at ourselves,
1:49:08
we blame our kids. We put
1:49:11
our kids into some sort of
1:49:13
home because they're too rambunctious. We
1:49:15
give them drugs because they're just
1:49:17
too much for us. I can't
1:49:19
handle them. There's something wrong with
1:49:21
them. And I can't figure out
1:49:23
why. And I can't figure out.
1:49:25
or maybe not raising them, you're
1:49:27
the one who is responsible for
1:49:29
the behavior and children are reacting
1:49:31
to their environment. So if they're
1:49:33
coming from dysfunction, you cannot be
1:49:35
surprised when they're acting dysfunctional. And
1:49:37
I think that's the root of
1:49:39
this, parental selfishness, the unwillingness to
1:49:42
be accountable for their behavior. They
1:49:44
don't want to look at themselves
1:49:46
because they don't like what they
1:49:48
see in the mirror. Yeah, and
1:49:50
also, as a society, we're enabling
1:49:52
this behavior financially and morally. where
1:49:54
we've decided there's no more judgment
1:49:56
going on. There used to be
1:49:58
a lot of judging going on
1:50:00
and judging kind of. keeps people
1:50:02
in the right lane. You know,
1:50:04
people used to go to airports
1:50:06
and put a blazer on with
1:50:08
a tie, and now they're showing
1:50:11
up in their pajamas because we
1:50:13
stopped judging. You know, we just
1:50:15
went, you can't judge. And, you
1:50:17
know, you got your baby mamas
1:50:19
and everything else, and there's no
1:50:21
more judgment. And listen, judgment works.
1:50:23
And I'll tell you why. I
1:50:25
mean, look at something. You take
1:50:27
a subject like... smoking. If you
1:50:29
go, there's a restaurant. It's a
1:50:31
funny thing, but there's a restaurant
1:50:33
that I used to go to
1:50:35
quite often. It was like a
1:50:37
diner. And they had all these
1:50:40
old-timey black and white pictures of
1:50:42
all the old celebrities from the
1:50:44
40s and the 50s. And every
1:50:46
single one of them that had
1:50:48
a lit cigarette for their headshot.
1:50:50
Now, it's not like 85% of
1:50:52
actors smoked in the 40s. Somebody
1:50:54
handed them a cigarette and said,
1:50:56
hey, if you're gonna take a
1:50:58
picture, women. It'll be like a
1:51:00
23-year-old starless, she's having a cigarette
1:51:02
by her head, you know? So
1:51:04
it used to be glamorous. And
1:51:06
then we decided it was bad
1:51:08
for you. And then we had
1:51:11
a campaign. We waged a war
1:51:13
against smoking. And now, if a
1:51:15
celebrity lights a cigarette, they don't
1:51:17
do it inside the club. They
1:51:19
walk outside the club and they
1:51:21
hide behind the dumpster. They literally
1:51:23
crouched down behind a dumpster and
1:51:25
smoke, hoping nobody sees their shameful
1:51:27
behavior. So what happened to smoking?
1:51:29
Well, it was glorified, and then
1:51:31
we made it shameful, and smoking
1:51:33
us down 61%. Okay, we could
1:51:35
do that with any subject. We
1:51:37
could do it with having kids
1:51:40
out of wedlock, being single moms,
1:51:42
taking welfare, and things of that
1:51:44
nature. We could wage a war.
1:51:46
Same thing we did with smoking,
1:51:48
with this. but we won't judge.
1:51:50
And I think we should go
1:51:52
back to judging. chapter in the
1:51:54
book called Socially Comfortable Terrible Parents.
1:51:56
And it's the idea that someone
1:51:58
can abandon their kids, someone can
1:52:00
abuse their children, can scream at
1:52:02
their kids, they can do all
1:52:04
these things and you know about
1:52:06
it, yet they get to come
1:52:09
to your house and everybody's comfortable.
1:52:11
So I do think that there
1:52:13
is a lack of shame, just
1:52:15
like what you're saying. We have
1:52:17
to be able to shame these
1:52:19
things. We have to be able
1:52:21
to call these things out. But
1:52:23
I think some people refuse to
1:52:25
shame because they don't want to
1:52:27
be ashamed either. You know, it's
1:52:29
just everyone's kind of scared to
1:52:31
touch what is so obvious. Well,
1:52:33
there's a component to it, which
1:52:35
is any, okay, we don't, let's
1:52:37
look, being fat is is worse
1:52:40
for you than smoking, but we
1:52:42
don't shame people for being fat,
1:52:44
but they're unhealthy for being fat,
1:52:46
and they're gonna die. They're gonna
1:52:48
have a shitty life and they're
1:52:50
gonna die earlier than if someone
1:52:52
was smoking who wasn't fat But
1:52:54
we won't shame them for it
1:52:56
and the reason Look we have
1:52:58
almost nobody smokes now because we
1:53:00
shame them enough, but everyone is
1:53:02
fat because we didn't shame them.
1:53:04
But there's a component here. Anytime
1:53:06
there's a racial component to it
1:53:09
or a financial component. You know,
1:53:11
well, it's more black folk have
1:53:13
these broken families than white folk
1:53:15
and more poor folk have it
1:53:17
than rich folk. And so legislators
1:53:19
and anybody in politics and anyone
1:53:21
who speaks with a platform just
1:53:23
goes, stay away. Not going to
1:53:25
get into it. Not worth being
1:53:27
destroyed. buy it. You know, I'm
1:53:29
not going to do this. Hey,
1:53:31
poor people. Get your shit together.
1:53:33
You want to be rich? Get
1:53:35
going. I do it all the
1:53:37
time because Bernie Sanders, like, we're
1:53:40
the richest nation in the world.
1:53:42
Why can't we give more money?
1:53:44
It's like giving them money is
1:53:46
not the answer. Getting them healthy,
1:53:48
get together. in tech family, get
1:53:50
educated, do not have children out
1:53:52
of wedlock, that's a, all Bernie
1:53:54
Sanders talks about is helping poor
1:53:56
people, but he won't tell them
1:53:58
what will lift them from poverty.
1:54:00
His plan is take more money
1:54:02
from Elon Musk and sprinkle it
1:54:04
around Bedford's die. They think that
1:54:06
everything comes from the very top.
1:54:09
In order for someone to be
1:54:11
successful you got to give them
1:54:13
money, which obviously the most successful
1:54:15
people weren't handed a bunch of
1:54:17
money. And even if you are
1:54:19
wealthy, plenty of people have money
1:54:21
and they go bankrupt. So it's
1:54:23
not a guarantee. People like to
1:54:25
say Donald Trump is giving money
1:54:27
from his father and that's why
1:54:29
he's wealthy. Donald Trump has gone
1:54:31
through bankruptcy. He's learned a lot
1:54:33
throughout his, throughout his career. There
1:54:35
is no guarantee when it comes
1:54:38
to business and success. No matter
1:54:40
what your background is and how
1:54:42
much money you start with. Lots
1:54:44
of people get lottery money and
1:54:46
they blow it all away. What
1:54:48
we're talking about is starting from
1:54:50
the bottom and trying to move
1:54:52
up. It starts at home. And
1:54:54
that's the original government. What you
1:54:56
have in your home is the
1:54:58
basis of how you move forward
1:55:00
when it comes to your family,
1:55:02
the level of prosperity you're likely
1:55:04
to get. We're about... Just how
1:55:06
you use the smoking analogy, the
1:55:09
way I use it is if
1:55:11
you have a nuclear family, if
1:55:13
you have both parents in the
1:55:15
home, you increase the chances of
1:55:17
prosperity for your kids. Just full
1:55:19
stop right there. In the same
1:55:21
way that obviously, by smoking, you're
1:55:23
not guaranteed to get cancer, but
1:55:25
by smoking, you increase the likeness
1:55:27
that you will get cancer. Right,
1:55:29
so we want to decrease the
1:55:31
likeness that will have dysfunctional children,
1:55:33
children who will suffer for the
1:55:35
rest of their lives. Yeah, I
1:55:38
think what it's going to take
1:55:40
is more people. speaking up because
1:55:42
when you do speak up about
1:55:44
these subjects you get attacked and
1:55:46
people don't want to get attacked
1:55:48
you know I get into people
1:55:50
with it with people all the
1:55:52
time or they you know I
1:55:54
go hey you got to work
1:55:56
hard you got to keep family
1:55:58
they go oh we're taking advice
1:56:00
from the rich white guy about
1:56:02
pulling yourselves out of poverty and
1:56:04
it's like Yeah, well I used
1:56:07
to be in poverty and now
1:56:09
I'm rich. So yeah, you should
1:56:11
listen to me. But I don't
1:56:13
go, oh, I'm sorry you misunderstood
1:56:15
me. I just fired right back
1:56:17
at him telling to shut the
1:56:19
fuck up because I was poor
1:56:21
my whole life and no one
1:56:23
had any money. And I didn't
1:56:25
go to college. So I figured
1:56:27
it out. You can figure it
1:56:29
out as well. But most people
1:56:31
I realize are really cowardly. They
1:56:33
understand. They would never, I'll put
1:56:35
it to you this way. If
1:56:38
you talk to most liberal white
1:56:40
people and they just said, hey,
1:56:42
what if your son or daughter
1:56:44
just said they're going to go
1:56:46
their whole life and never get
1:56:48
an ID? Never get a valid
1:56:50
ID? They'd go, what are you
1:56:52
talking about? That's nuts. I'll drive
1:56:54
down the DMV myself, we'll get
1:56:56
an ID. What do you mean?
1:56:58
You can't... live in society without
1:57:00
an idea. You can't travel, can't
1:57:02
check in a hotel, you can't
1:57:04
buy liquor, you can't, you can't
1:57:07
do anything. So no, I will,
1:57:09
unacceptable. And then they go, many
1:57:11
people in the black community don't
1:57:13
have access. And they go, I
1:57:15
know, I know, it's a shame.
1:57:17
You know, it's the soft bigotry
1:57:19
of low expectations. And it's sad.
1:57:21
And these people need to kind
1:57:23
of speak up and stick their
1:57:25
neck out a little bit because
1:57:27
they understand what's going on. Let
1:57:29
their family conduct themselves that way,
1:57:31
but yet they just zip it
1:57:33
when it comes to any other
1:57:35
groups in society because they don't
1:57:38
want to be attacked and they
1:57:40
will be attacked if they do.
1:57:42
Yeah, and also, you know, humans
1:57:44
are more likely to... And it
1:57:46
doesn't take that many people to
1:57:48
change society. Just like you said,
1:57:50
we don't need 50% of people
1:57:52
to stand up and say the
1:57:54
things that we're saying. We just
1:57:56
need a certain amount to do
1:57:58
so, and they can shift culture.
1:58:00
I use the example of George
1:58:02
Floyd's death. One man's story, one
1:58:04
man's situation and death, led to
1:58:07
a massive cultural shift and just
1:58:09
a blink of an eye. And
1:58:11
the things that we called normal
1:58:13
were no longer normal, and we
1:58:15
were called bigots because of it's
1:58:17
because of it. everything change. And
1:58:19
that was just one person. So
1:58:21
we just need a certain amount
1:58:23
of people to actually stand up,
1:58:25
maybe use their story like what
1:58:27
I'm trying to do. We just
1:58:29
need more people to actually be
1:58:31
brave. Doesn't have to be 50%
1:58:33
of the population. It just has
1:58:36
to be maybe certain people and
1:58:38
maybe just enough people who are
1:58:40
personal to you who are willing
1:58:42
to have these conversations. The problem
1:58:44
that I'm seeing is that children
1:58:46
who are like me who grow
1:58:48
up, become adults. have this need
1:58:50
to protect their parents because they
1:58:52
feel like if they criticize how
1:58:54
they're raised the poor choices that
1:58:56
are made by their parents we
1:58:58
inherently want to love our parents
1:59:00
we don't want to hurt our
1:59:02
family so we stay silent and
1:59:04
so no one criticizes the bad
1:59:07
behavior and nothing changes and I'm
1:59:09
just seeing that that pattern happening
1:59:11
over and over the the child
1:59:13
who grows up to be an
1:59:15
adult suffers they don't get the
1:59:17
resolution they don't confront their parents
1:59:19
they don't get the questions that
1:59:21
they had answered they just pretend
1:59:23
that everything was fine and that
1:59:25
their mother was just the strong
1:59:27
person and which she may be
1:59:29
but what about you what about
1:59:31
you as the child who was
1:59:33
the victim of bad choices well
1:59:36
i do notice when i talk
1:59:38
to people whose parents beat them
1:59:40
you know with a switch or
1:59:42
belt or wooden spoon or anything
1:59:44
they always go i deserved it
1:59:46
I deserved it. And I'm like,
1:59:48
I don't know, I don't think
1:59:50
you should beat your kid with
1:59:52
a wooden spoon, you know, when
1:59:54
they're... six you know yeah but
1:59:56
I I did do put that
1:59:58
finger paint all over the TV
2:00:00
set I go okay but you
2:00:02
don't deserve to be beaten you
2:00:04
understand and they're like I deserve
2:00:07
it you know I should have
2:00:09
done it and and it's like
2:00:11
I've heard so I've heard so
2:00:13
many people internalize being beaten by
2:00:15
your parents and I'm like I
2:00:17
have kids they've gotten out of
2:00:19
line I would talk to them
2:00:21
or punish them, but I would
2:00:23
never put my hands on them.
2:00:25
No, you don't hit people. And
2:00:27
by the way, it's a weird
2:00:29
message you're sending in terms of
2:00:31
conflict resolution. Like if I could
2:00:33
just hit that person, then I
2:00:36
could somehow come out on top
2:00:38
of this interaction. Well then later
2:00:40
on, you get in life and
2:00:42
shit goes down on a school
2:00:44
bus and you start smacking somebody
2:00:46
in the head. You know, it's
2:00:48
not a good lesson, which is
2:00:50
I'm going to beat you because
2:00:52
you did something that bothered me.
2:00:54
You know, how about a discussion
2:00:56
about it or you take away
2:00:58
their allowance or whatever work out
2:01:00
some other component. So yeah, I've
2:01:02
I've I've talked to many, many
2:01:05
people have go. My parents used
2:01:07
to beat the crap out of
2:01:09
us and we deserve it to
2:01:11
make your point. Yeah, and actually
2:01:13
I'm glad you brought that up
2:01:15
because that's one of the things
2:01:17
I talk about in the book.
2:01:19
It's like Stockholm syndrome. They blame
2:01:21
themselves, even though they are innocent
2:01:23
children. You know, the person who
2:01:25
is three times their size, and
2:01:27
you have nowhere else to go,
2:01:29
is grabbing a weapon, or like
2:01:31
very sadistically tells you to go
2:01:33
grab the weapon that they're going
2:01:36
to beat you with. I mean,
2:01:38
and then you hear them laugh
2:01:40
about it and claim that they
2:01:42
deserved it. And without it, they
2:01:44
wouldn't be the person that they
2:01:46
are today. And I am thankful
2:01:48
that I was beaten with all
2:01:50
those years when I messed up.
2:01:52
You know, kids. have undeveloped brains
2:01:54
like their brains are still developing
2:01:56
they're going to mess up they're
2:01:58
going to screw up they can't
2:02:00
see around the corner quite literally
2:02:02
they can't see around the quarter
2:02:05
because their brains haven't fully developed
2:02:07
they're not adults And so when
2:02:09
someone tells you, well, you misbehaved
2:02:11
as a kid or you did
2:02:13
this wrong, well, they're going to,
2:02:15
like, it's obvious. And I'm not
2:02:17
just talking from, you shouldn't hit
2:02:19
kids, and I'm not a father,
2:02:21
and just like, you know, you
2:02:23
were as kids, I'm speaking from
2:02:25
someone who was beaten when I
2:02:27
was a kid when I got
2:02:29
out of line, and when I
2:02:31
had my son, I started popping
2:02:34
him when he was small, and
2:02:36
I didn't like it. And I
2:02:38
looked at myself and I said,
2:02:40
I don't like this. And I
2:02:42
remember when I was a kid,
2:02:44
I just wanted someone to talk
2:02:46
to me because I already felt
2:02:48
bad enough because I knew I
2:02:50
did something wrong. Clearly you're angry.
2:02:52
But I don't need to be
2:02:54
hit on top of that. And
2:02:56
so from a very young age,
2:02:58
my son, I just stopped. I'm
2:03:00
no longer going to hit him.
2:03:02
I just stopped doing it. And
2:03:05
every time he messed up, I
2:03:07
would talk to him more. We
2:03:09
would just communicate. I didn't coddle
2:03:11
him, I didn't pretend he didn't
2:03:13
do anything wrong, and I did
2:03:15
not punish him. And a lot
2:03:17
of people think, well, if you
2:03:19
don't hit your kid, you're not
2:03:21
disciplining him. But the root word
2:03:23
of discipline is disciple. Like, you're
2:03:25
supposed to be some sort of
2:03:27
teaching moment. And what are you
2:03:29
teaching them when you hit them?
2:03:31
You're teaching them to fear you,
2:03:34
to be scared of you. And
2:03:36
I know adults who still fear
2:03:38
their parents. Yeah, I mean every
2:03:40
Black male comedian has 20 minutes
2:03:42
on their mom beating the shit
2:03:44
out of them It's a universal
2:03:46
joke with African-American male comedians and
2:03:48
female comedians. It's just and they're
2:03:50
laughing and the audience is laughing
2:03:52
and yeah, go get there go
2:03:54
pick out a switch bring it
2:03:56
home busted over my ass You
2:03:58
know, the more they were brutalized
2:04:00
the harder people laugh And I'm
2:04:02
like, I don't think this is
2:04:05
a good idea. And I don't
2:04:07
really think it's that funny. And
2:04:09
I think you're teaching a lot
2:04:11
of people that violence is sort
2:04:13
of the answer and I don't
2:04:15
think that's a good teachable moment
2:04:17
either and then also if you
2:04:19
constantly beating on your young boy
2:04:21
and then you push that boy
2:04:23
into the school system and he's
2:04:25
14 and now he's beating the
2:04:27
crap out of somebody else isn't
2:04:29
that kind of on you like
2:04:31
why is he so violent now
2:04:34
well that's what he knows you
2:04:36
know right and at some point
2:04:38
Especially if you're talking about a
2:04:40
single mother raising a boy, at
2:04:42
some point that boy becomes bigger
2:04:44
than the mother. That hit that
2:04:46
she was giving doesn't hurt that
2:04:48
much, right? Or at all. He
2:04:50
laughs at it. Like it doesn't
2:04:52
work. You know, if we're talking
2:04:54
about correcting behavior, hitting works very
2:04:56
short term. But if you have
2:04:58
to do it constantly, clearly it's
2:05:00
not working. Right? So if you
2:05:03
have to constantly put a band-aid
2:05:05
on something, it's because you haven't
2:05:07
fixed the actual wound. And what
2:05:09
I'm seeing is that these kids,
2:05:11
if they're messing up, they're messing
2:05:13
up for a reason that a
2:05:15
hit across the ass isn't going
2:05:17
to fix. They're messing up because
2:05:19
something else is going on. And
2:05:21
it takes work to do it.
2:05:23
But it's very easy to grab
2:05:25
a belt and hit a kid,
2:05:27
let them cry it out, and
2:05:29
go to bed, and you can
2:05:31
just move on with the rest
2:05:34
of your night. And that's what
2:05:36
we're seeing. And unfortunately, with single
2:05:38
parent home situations, home situations, and
2:05:40
I get it. I'm slightly empathetic
2:05:42
to it. There's a lot of
2:05:44
pressure, especially if multiple children. You're
2:05:46
working a lot. You have to
2:05:48
come home. You have to deal
2:05:50
with it. You're all by yourself
2:05:52
dealing with all this stuff. But
2:05:54
the problem is hitting turns into
2:05:56
a way to unleash your frustration.
2:05:58
You come home, you just want
2:06:00
them to be perfect, and kids
2:06:03
aren't perfect. So you take it
2:06:05
out on them, and then you
2:06:07
hurt them, and then you have
2:06:09
them grow up. to rationalize all
2:06:11
of your bad behavior because they
2:06:13
inherently want to love their mother
2:06:15
and they don't want to criticize
2:06:17
their mother. Yeah, it's a... I
2:06:19
think they're called a vicious cycle
2:06:21
and then they beat on their
2:06:23
kids or they beat up on
2:06:25
somebody in their school and then
2:06:27
they get into the system and
2:06:29
the next thing you know that's
2:06:31
what they know and it's and
2:06:34
then another baby is born and
2:06:36
they just do it all all
2:06:38
over again and for me I
2:06:40
really wish the celebrities and the
2:06:42
politicians and the tastemakers. from across
2:06:44
the board like white black whomever
2:06:46
could just talk about some of
2:06:48
this stuff just a little bit
2:06:50
but it's the third rail they're
2:06:52
they're scared they're scared to death.
2:06:54
I mean when I had Gavin
2:06:56
Newsom in here about ten years
2:06:58
ago and he started talking about
2:07:00
these black and brown communities not
2:07:03
having money and being preyed upon
2:07:05
and being preyed upon and not
2:07:07
having a having access to a
2:07:09
checking account. I just kept saying
2:07:11
to him, what's wrong with them?
2:07:13
What's wrong with them? And he
2:07:15
would not answer. He'd said everything,
2:07:17
everything but an answer. Just that
2:07:19
he kept saying that's the way
2:07:21
it is. You know, and I
2:07:23
was like, as the governor, who's
2:07:25
complaining about a problem, wouldn't you
2:07:27
like to figure out what the
2:07:29
root cause of the problem was?
2:07:32
And he would, now he wouldn't
2:07:34
answer because he was scared to
2:07:36
death to answer. That he would
2:07:38
say and I told him I
2:07:40
said family and education the families
2:07:42
are broken up. They're not focused
2:07:44
on education I Kept telling him
2:07:46
he didn't he but but he
2:07:48
was scared and rightfully so because
2:07:50
if he said those black and
2:07:52
brown people need to get their
2:07:54
shit together and focus on family
2:07:56
and focus on education then he'd
2:07:58
be run out of town so
2:08:00
He's not going to say anything.
2:08:03
The ladies from the view aren't
2:08:05
going to say anything. And LeBron
2:08:07
James is not going to say
2:08:09
anything. Nobody's going to say anything
2:08:11
because it's so taboo. It's basically,
2:08:13
it's like the early stages of
2:08:15
COVID or black life. matter like
2:08:17
you really want to start speaking
2:08:19
up about either one of these
2:08:21
subjects in a in a truthful
2:08:23
way because you will lose your
2:08:25
job and nobody wants to do
2:08:27
it and it's sad that they
2:08:29
don't have more character but they
2:08:32
don't and we can't expect them
2:08:34
to do it so it'll be
2:08:36
left to guys like Adam B
2:08:38
Coleman the children we left behind
2:08:40
it's the name of the book
2:08:42
where else can we go to
2:08:44
find out find out other works
2:08:46
that you may be providing for
2:08:48
us, Adam? Yeah, I write on
2:08:50
sub stack, Adam B. Coleman death
2:08:52
sub stack.com. I also occasionally write
2:08:54
for the New York Post. But
2:08:56
if people are interested in the
2:08:58
book, they can find any of
2:09:01
their major retailers or they can
2:09:03
go to wrong speak. Net and
2:09:05
order directly from my publishing house.
2:09:07
Thanks, Adam. We're doing the Lord's
2:09:09
work. Thank you. Appreciate it. All
2:09:11
right, I am going to be
2:09:13
doing stand-up Friday and Saturday in
2:09:15
San Diego at the American Comedy
2:09:17
Club. That's got the word American
2:09:19
comedy and club all in it.
2:09:21
So how could you go wrong?
2:09:23
Go to Adam crow.com for all
2:09:25
the live shows. And until next
2:09:27
time's Adam Crow for Adam B.
2:09:29
Coleman and mayhem Miller and Nick
2:09:32
Thune. Say it. Mahala. You can
2:09:34
leave us a voicemail at 8886341744
2:09:36
and be sure and get tickets
2:09:38
to see the Ace Man at
2:09:40
Adam corolla.com. Adam Corolla is on
2:09:42
the road. San Diego, April 11th
2:09:44
and 12th at the American Comedy
2:09:46
Club. Port Charlotte, Florida. May 2nd
2:09:48
and 3rd at the Sonnes Italian
2:09:50
steakhouse and comedy theater. and Melbourne
2:09:52
Florida on May 4th at the
2:09:54
Melbourne Auditorium. Get tickets for these
2:09:56
shows and a whole lot more
2:09:58
at Adam corolla.com. See
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