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Corolla One Studios in Glendale, California, this

2:59

is the Adam Corolla show. Adam's guest

3:02

today, comedian Nick Thune, and the author

3:04

of Black Victim to Black Victor, Adam

3:06

Coleman. Plus the news in trending topics

3:08

with Jason Mayhem Miller. And now, not

3:11

being content is the bulk of his

3:13

content. Adam Corolla. Yeah, get it on.

3:15

Got it. I did it on the

3:18

choice. We're going to mandate you. Get

3:20

it on. Thanks for tuning in. Thanks

3:22

for watching all my fire coverage blog

3:25

content. people been eating that stuff up

3:27

getting a lot of good feedback on

3:29

it. You can go to the YouTube

3:32

channel or whatever, but if you want

3:34

to get caught up on what's going

3:36

on in Malboom Palisades, you can check

3:39

that out. Nick Thune in studio, Nick's

3:41

got dates. He's got a stand-up special,

3:43

stand specials on YouTube called Born Young,

3:46

shout out of Zaines, Nashville. And go

3:48

to his website nickthoon.com for all the

3:50

live shows and info as well. Good

3:52

see you Nick. Fantastic. Thanks for having

3:55

me. So this is funny because at

3:57

the very top of my list I

3:59

had Showaotani bobblehead night written on the

4:02

top of the list of stuff I'm

4:04

going to talk about and you just

4:06

apropos of nothing just shot out that

4:09

you were at the Dodger game. I

4:11

got the bobblehead. Nice. They tweeted out,

4:13

did you hear what they tweeted yesterday

4:16

at the Dodgers? No. So normally they

4:18

give it to the first 40,000 people

4:20

and there was people lined up like

4:23

way early. That's what I'm getting into.

4:25

But then they tweeted all fans at

4:27

tonight's game get a bobblehead. Yeah, there

4:30

should be 40,000 lawsuits against the Dodger

4:32

organization because listen to this story. This

4:34

is a weekday what people had to

4:36

do to get that. that bobblehead we

4:39

will uh... oh this is what you

4:41

actually oh well i i i i

4:43

i i i i i i i

4:46

i i i i i i i

4:48

i i It was over Show Hey

4:50

Otani has been going all day long.

4:53

Thousands of Dodger fans spent the day

4:55

lined up outside Dodger Stadium for tonight's

4:57

Sotani Bobblehead giveaway. A lot of those

5:00

fans got up early to get in

5:02

line, some as early as 5.30 this

5:04

morning. And after all that. It was

5:07

a night game, right? How many did

5:09

we lose? It was two Giants fans

5:11

were killed. They're waiting to get Barry

5:14

Bond's bottle heads and they got beaten

5:16

to death. What town did the game?

5:18

Five 30. Five 30. So there's people

5:20

standing there for 12 hours. I got

5:23

there at five. You got there at

5:25

five and got a bob ahead. Yeah.

5:27

Yeah. Well, I ride my bike and

5:30

my son and I ride my bike

5:32

and we ride our bike and we

5:34

ride our bike and we ride our

5:37

bike in because it's just like the

5:39

easiest way to get in there. But

5:41

when I heard I saw the tweet

5:44

in on Instagram, I'd probably still go

5:46

electric. Let me tell you something man.

5:48

You get electric bike. It's basically like

5:51

the criminal version of when they came

5:53

out with a battery-operated saw salt. Like

5:55

you can go anywhere. Nothing's locked for

5:58

good. Lanes are open. Yeah. It's a

6:00

Wild West out there. You can, you

6:02

got electric bike, you can scoop. Yeah.

6:04

When I pull up on it at

6:07

the stadium, they're looking at me like,

6:09

we don't know if this is okay

6:11

or not, but uh... Right. Come on

6:14

in. Right, right. And you just go

6:16

past throngs of cars. No waiting. No

6:18

waiting. No waiting. Right. It's unreal. And

6:21

it's also so deadly. Yeah, yeah. And

6:23

I'm riding it with my son on

6:25

it. Yeah, but head on the swibble.

6:28

Now, oh, your son's on the bike.

6:30

Yeah, with me. Yeah, I just, when

6:32

you said me and my son ride

6:35

up, I thought. We've only got one

6:37

helmet so I wear the helmet. I

6:39

thought maybe he had his own bike.

6:42

No, he's 11. I would not. I

6:44

don't think he's ready to ride up

6:46

Sunset Boulevard on a... Oh, he's on

6:48

your bike. Yeah. Because it gets a

6:51

little home erotic at some point, depending

6:53

on where he's sitting. Yeah, he's over

6:55

13 probably. Yeah, yeah, that's the bar.

6:58

We just had to talk last week,

7:00

so I don't know. So as long

7:02

as he doesn't press it press it

7:05

on your back on your back on

7:07

your back. no he's sitting in front

7:09

of me okay he's got his feet

7:12

up wrapped around there's like I put

7:14

a cage on top of the time

7:16

so he has his feet up there

7:19

it's not legal there's nothing safe about

7:21

it and a seat Bananacy this we

7:23

used to say it is it's a

7:26

full it looks like a like one

7:28

of those old Italian racer bikes, you

7:30

know that's got like that long kind

7:32

of Yeah, yeah, all right, so oh

7:35

you're thinking of maybe like old mopetti

7:37

style or something that had the long

7:39

Italian racer bikes have a little small

7:42

Oh, those yeah, the small ones. I'm

7:44

thinking of like this flat kind of

7:46

so there's room. Yeah. Oh. Oh. Yeah.

7:49

And and and he sits up there

7:51

and you know he's like you're an

7:53

organ organ and he's your monkey. Yeah,

7:56

he's just up front. He's got to

7:58

feet perched up. Sometimes he's getting away.

8:00

And you just haul in ass through

8:03

traffic. That's good. And also my legs,

8:05

it's like a, it's kind of a

8:07

BMX style bike. Uh-huh. And my legs

8:10

are like out probably at like 45

8:12

degree. Now what happens if you have

8:14

a couple of beers at the game?

8:16

Do you throw them the keys to

8:19

the electric bike? That'll be a problem.

8:21

Oh, that's a relapse. That would be

8:23

a big problem. You're designated rider. People

8:26

will be called. Yeah. Okay. Four alarm

8:28

bars. So you go to show us.

8:30

All right. So I am interested. I'm

8:33

caught up in this Doge movement now.

8:35

And I want to save American taxpayer's

8:37

money. You know, and I'm now thinking

8:40

like what could I do because I

8:42

got ideas because I'm like a problem

8:44

solver. So I've come up with a

8:47

couple of money savers for the taxpayers.

8:49

So one was that I was going

8:51

to collect all the legal criminals by

8:54

just putting a sign in front of

8:56

the Coliseum that said. Free cockfights for

8:58

Raiders fans only and then whoever showed

9:01

up. Yeah, we just arrest them and

9:03

yeah, obviously obviously or they're deadbeat dads

9:05

But okay, then I had this thought

9:07

Which is anyone who shows up at

9:10

a Tesla rat like an anti Elon

9:12

rally on a weekday in a weekday

9:14

in the middle of the day The

9:17

he she with the heels in the

9:19

terror who stand there holding a sign

9:21

over their head for seven hours half

9:24

those people are claiming they're on disability

9:26

yeah because obviously not gainfully employed or

9:28

they couldn't go to the Tesla rally

9:31

right and they don't look independently wealthy

9:33

that no one looks like that a

9:35

startup company they sold it you know

9:38

up John bought it for billions of

9:40

times they all look like they're on

9:42

the dull man those people are sucking

9:45

off the government hit and my thing

9:47

is like hey if you're strong enough

9:49

to hold up a mini sledge hammer

9:51

on a sidewalk and smash up a

9:54

model Tesla you're good enough to get

9:56

back to work. Are they smashing them

9:58

up? I saw them smashing that they

10:01

took model Tesla's oh and they took

10:03

the model. of a Tesla, not a

10:05

Tesla model, sorry, but a miniature model

10:08

of a Tesla and they had what

10:10

we call in the construction world, a

10:12

single jerk, which is basically a meat.

10:15

That's what I call something else as

10:17

well. That's what I call being 13.

10:19

You do that on an airplane now.

10:22

Single jerk, which is a mini sledge,

10:24

and they're just, if you find the

10:26

person, you can find footage of it.

10:29

They're on the sidewalk and they're just

10:31

bashing up these. Anyway. If you can

10:33

do this, you can take your job

10:35

back that you claim you're not well

10:38

enough to do because you have back

10:40

pay. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. So

10:42

that's the insurance insurance adjusters are out

10:45

there taking photos. Like those people. So

10:47

we get we get the illegals with

10:49

the cockfight. Then we go to the

10:52

we go to the Elon rally and

10:54

we get the rest that are on

10:56

disability. bilking the system and the last

10:59

is the showy bobblehead night folks because

11:01

those people are in line at 8

11:03

a.m. on a weekday sorry brother you

11:06

need to be at work I don't

11:08

know what the fuck is going I

11:10

don't know how your schedule got so

11:13

clear yeah that you could just spend

11:15

an entire day for two dollars worth

11:17

of bobblehead I don't like where you're

11:19

at I bet your kid needs some

11:22

orthodont your work I bet there's some

11:24

delinquent payments, I bet you owe the

11:26

IRS money, I bet you're on disability,

11:29

you could be on unemployment, you should

11:31

be looking for a job. I want

11:33

to round up those people, I want

11:36

to know what's going on. Meanwhile, Hollywood

11:38

just walked up 30 minutes and still

11:40

get a ballway. Some people read Twitter,

11:43

yeah, that's right. But however, I will

11:45

say this, I saw, when I was

11:47

pulling in, I saw people with like

11:50

bags of them, I mean. before the

11:52

game because you don't get them until

11:54

you walk in so people are just

11:57

showing up at the game and then

11:59

leaving they're selling them on that thinking

12:01

that they got their money ticket yeah

12:03

everybody turns them over hello kitty night

12:06

was the same way hello kitty night

12:08

so I have season tickets and we

12:10

sell tickets on the nights that are

12:13

like hello kitty night because those go

12:15

for yeah and I don't need it

12:17

you know and at some point like

12:20

I feel like people need to be

12:22

told I'm gonna have, you have this

12:24

conversation with your son, I'll have it

12:27

with my son. Show, uh, those guys

12:29

busting up Tesla Vince. Yes? No? Definitely

12:31

out there, seeing a thousand times. You

12:34

can find those. I don't know if

12:36

you're looking for it or not, but

12:38

we can look. So, people have ideas.

12:41

They're gonna wait in line. Starting at

12:43

5.30 in the morning, they're going to

12:45

drag a couple duffel bags to Dodger

12:47

Stadium. They're going to load up on

12:50

bobblehead dolls. They're going to drag... the

12:52

duffel bags filled with showy bobblehead dolls

12:54

back to the apartment and then they're

12:57

gonna sell them individually on eBay for

12:59

$11 each for a grand total of

13:01

$121 and I want to say to

13:04

my son or you could get a

13:06

fucking job. You could just go somewhere

13:08

and work and sit in air conditioning

13:11

and have a dental plan and get

13:13

paid for it. There's some people that

13:15

just like, I will not work, but

13:18

I will do something that is much

13:20

more work for less money. Also, the

13:22

people that do do that and figure

13:25

it out, that's a whole different type

13:27

of, like, not everybody's actually making, there

13:29

are some people that can make full

13:31

livings off of, we don't know what

13:34

they're doing. But dad, my passion is

13:36

probably this. I used to steal Cromie's

13:38

off cars. Cromie's? Yeah, I never have

13:41

the tires of cars. Are you talking

13:43

about the valve stamp? Yeah, yeah, that

13:45

we're chrome because we were told that

13:48

you could take him into a pawn

13:50

shop. for four bucks a pop. Really?

13:52

And that's how I was going to

13:55

make my living at some point when

13:57

I was young. And then my parents

13:59

caught me and I never got a

14:02

chance to take them in. Oh really?

14:04

How many Cromies did you steal? Probably

14:06

50-50-ish. Oh yeah. I mean I was,

14:09

whenever my parents were like we're going

14:11

grocery shopping, it's like can I come?

14:13

Because I know there's a parking lot

14:15

there. How many, by the way, something's

14:18

up with my little screen here guys,

14:20

I can't read what you guys. But

14:22

you got on there. But, or if

14:25

you move it down a little bit

14:27

or something, something's weird on the screen.

14:29

Ah, anyway. Did you find the clip

14:32

of, it's weird, I saw it all

14:34

over the news. They were like smashing,

14:36

well, it was from Saturday, I guess,

14:39

but there were, oh, you do have

14:41

the clip. Okay. Now you have it.

14:43

That's just a picture. I'm still looking

14:46

for a clue. Oh, it's weird. It

14:48

was all over the news. Well, anyway,

14:50

that's a single jerk. If you can

14:53

swing that, you can work. Look at

14:55

these bracelets on this, guys, yeah. Lots

14:57

of bracelets. That is bracelet heavy. All

14:59

right. So if I walk through that

15:02

bobble head, wait in line, is a

15:04

doge guy. It just say 10 AM.

15:06

Uh-huh. I think I'd find a high

15:09

likely, I bet every third person was

15:11

getting some sort of government assistance. That's

15:13

all I'm saying. And my thing is,

15:16

is, it's the middle of the week,

15:18

it's the middle of the day, you're

15:20

able-bodied, because you can stand in the

15:23

sun for 14 hours. Now let's get

15:25

the fuck to work. The only thing

15:27

that makes it okay is if it's

15:30

a, you know, like they had like

15:32

the gold, like last year they did

15:34

that they had the golden show high

15:37

thing? And it was like the first

15:39

thousand people get a golden show hay

15:41

statue. The first thousand. Yeah. And then

15:43

everyone else got just a regular bobblehead.

15:46

Ah. But I could see that. I

15:48

could see, oh yeah, this one thing

15:50

that's exclusive, but not. You have season

15:53

tickets to the Dodgers. Yeah. That's kind

15:55

of cool. I love it. That's why,

15:57

I mean, the bike. the easiest. I

16:00

can get from my house to my

16:02

seat in about 12 minutes. Really? Yeah.

16:04

And what do you do? Just park

16:07

it at the bike rack? Yeah, there's

16:09

a bike rack right by my entrance,

16:11

right by my seats. Do you love

16:14

baseball that much? I really do. I

16:16

love it and I love taking people

16:18

to it. Yeah. Yeah, I think it's

16:21

kind of a fun experience. Loving sitting

16:23

with somebody explaining things, you know. Well,

16:25

is it 162 games? Yeah. The thing

16:28

I was watching, I was watching sports

16:30

the other day, I don't really care

16:32

about baseball, but I appreciate it, but

16:34

I was good as a player, but

16:37

I like playing football. I didn't like,

16:39

baseball wasn't as fun. To me, you

16:41

didn't get pads on and hit people,

16:44

you know what I mean? I was

16:46

so scared of football. I still played

16:48

it. It was. Well, once you get

16:51

used to putting a helmet and shoulder

16:53

pads on, and... slamming into people, it's

16:55

hard to get away. Once you get

16:58

that feeling, it feels good, like hitting

17:00

people. Shoulder pads are like the greatest

17:02

invention ever. I think I was the

17:05

guy getting hit as a problem. Well,

17:07

you do get let up, you know,

17:09

every once in a while, but it

17:12

was always so fun. Like, my greatest

17:14

love was after the other team would

17:16

punt. I would circle around after I

17:18

rushed upon. I would circle around and

17:21

the punter was always just half jogging

17:23

behind the play because the play was

17:25

45 yards down and the guy boxed

17:28

in it and he's like a half

17:30

guy. I would always circle around and

17:32

light him up just because I could

17:35

just because he was on the field.

17:37

And why not? I tried to block

17:39

the pun. So I wasn't in. I

17:42

wasn't in on it. And my greatest

17:44

line. I haven't ever told the story.

17:46

But I'd circle around and just like

17:49

that poor punter up. There's always the

17:51

smallest guy on the other team and

17:53

he didn't have sufficient padding either. No

17:56

knee pads. And I circle around and

17:58

I lit the guy up. And

18:00

the ref, it's not illegal, it's

18:03

just immoral. And the ref,

18:05

that line is so, 130

18:07

pound soccer player. Yeah, the

18:09

ref looked at me at

18:11

a home game once, I've

18:13

never told this story, and

18:15

he just goes. 53! What are

18:17

you doing? And I just said,

18:19

playing ball! That's the greatest moment

18:21

of my life. What? I'm fucking

18:23

playing ball. I don't know what

18:25

you're doing. And why isn't that

18:27

illegal though? Because if you hit

18:29

their leg when you're... when you're

18:32

trying to. No, no, I would

18:34

try to block the pun and

18:36

then I would circle around and

18:38

while he was jogging after the

18:40

play. Yeah, I just lied him

18:42

up. He wasn't expecting anything. He's

18:44

not really in the play. He's

18:46

40 yards away from the play,

18:48

but he's still wearing a uniform

18:50

and he still could make a

18:53

tackle. He's thinking, thank God, I

18:55

don't have to tackle people. Right.

18:57

Yeah, double leg of the game.

18:59

He's got a leather helmet. And

19:01

I pass him and then circle

19:03

around. So he can't really even

19:05

see where I am, because he's

19:07

just jogging down an open field.

19:09

You're the blindsmith. That's why you

19:11

play football. Why did they ever

19:14

make the kickers just wear the

19:16

single? Do you think they ever

19:18

said like, hey, can we just

19:20

have one like the other players?

19:22

First shows, these. No. No, it's

19:25

all vision. Yeah, you gotta see

19:27

everything. They gotta look down, place

19:30

kickers, hunters and stuff. It's all

19:32

vision. And then when your interior

19:34

lining, you just have the

19:36

cage because it's not, you don't

19:39

need to see as much as

19:41

scary. Yeah. These people who

19:43

are doing dancing and smashing I want

19:46

to know I want to know if

19:48

they're on the doll. Yeah, let's take

19:50

a gander listen I know nuts when

19:52

I see it and all

19:54

nuts claim disability because when

19:56

you're nuts your back always

19:58

hurt because because Because your back

20:01

comes from your head. So nutty

20:03

people have tons of back pain

20:05

because it's their fucking 10 cent

20:07

head that's fucking their back up.

20:10

Once you get your head straight,

20:12

your back stops hurting. Sorry, we'll

20:14

watch it. I've heard this. Haters,

20:16

they use violence, they don't know

20:19

how to use the courts in

20:21

a way to protect their own

20:23

rights. And it is disgusting. And

20:25

the Molotov cocktails and everything they're

20:28

doing is a violation of law

20:30

in our institutions. And I hope

20:32

that this Jasmine prophet, I hope

20:34

she was happy. I love that

20:37

she's saying Molotov cocktails has her

20:39

just hammering little matchbox cars. Yeah.

20:41

Also, as a young I did

20:43

collect Hot Wheels. I would be

20:46

quite appalled. Me too. Like, hey,

20:48

what is the desecration? This could

20:50

add to my collection. I could

20:52

use those. You could steal the

20:55

valve stem nuts off of those

20:57

things. Those things actually charge up.

20:59

Didn't Tesla give them give you

21:01

a key that's like a Tesla?

21:03

It looks like a Tesla? I

21:06

think there's that. I've never had

21:08

a Tesla. I have an electric

21:10

car. but I don't have a

21:12

test electric car. Yeah, just use

21:15

your phone or you just have

21:17

a, you know, yeah, you have

21:19

a key card that you put

21:21

on the dash. Oh, there it

21:24

is. Yeah, I never saw that

21:26

one. I didn't get the deluxe

21:28

package. The problem is we're living

21:30

in a world simultaneously of fobs

21:33

and keys and automation and non-autamation,

21:35

like you go to the bathroom

21:37

at the airport, right? You put

21:39

your hand into the sink and

21:42

the water starts shooting out, right?

21:44

If you're lucky. If you're... Well,

21:46

it shoots out. I don't know

21:48

why they think one and a

21:51

half seconds is the maximum time

21:53

you're going to need to sterilize

21:55

yourself. And immediately. You know, it's

21:57

like that. Or if you're a

22:00

vampire, it doesn't work at all.

22:02

Well, here's it. The funny one

22:04

is when you realize you got

22:06

a bad sink. this, during COVID,

22:09

the main, where they crack down

22:11

the hardest, like the Fort Knox

22:13

of COVID rule, rules being applied,

22:15

you know, like, like there were

22:18

You could go to a park

22:20

and not have a mask and

22:22

maybe no one gave a shit

22:24

or go do something But the

22:26

airport was ground zero for COVID

22:28

rules, right? It was like where's

22:30

your mask? Where's your distance mass

22:32

mass distance? everything? Well during COVID

22:34

when they thought That it was

22:36

spread via touch or boxes or

22:39

you know stuff that showed up

22:41

at your house They started giving

22:43

all these tutorials on hand washing

22:45

And the hand washing tutorials were

22:47

like, it is not 10 seconds

22:49

like you think it is. Proper

22:51

hand washing. You have to sing

22:53

in a gotta divita in your

22:55

head. Like it is. Long you

22:57

have to really stand there for

22:59

much longer until you get wrinkles.

23:01

Well, but what about the fucking

23:03

airport that they give you a

23:05

spritz of water for two seconds?

23:07

Like what kind of weird message?

23:09

It's like I would have to

23:11

be at the sink for 11

23:13

hours if you wanted me to

23:15

properly wash my hands at this

23:17

airport? What is the spritz that's

23:19

three seconds? It's never enough. It's

23:21

never, but why not five seconds?

23:23

What about when you get the

23:25

soap and the soap works and

23:27

then you get down to the

23:29

sink and there's no, and now

23:31

you're just holding soap in your

23:33

hand. Well, the funny, the funny

23:35

one I, it jizzes out in

23:38

the yellow run around. Here's what

23:40

I'm getting at. Yes, that is

23:42

correct. But in the world of

23:44

the key versus the automation, we're

23:46

in between world. Like I, I

23:48

sat. Dumbo Mike August

23:50

told me to move his car

23:52

when he was over at Leno

23:54

shop. I had to go move

23:56

his car. He has electric vulva.

23:58

I sat in his vulva for

24:00

20 minutes looking for the start

24:02

button. Eventually I ran out of,

24:05

I don't, where the fucking side

24:07

got out of car was crawling

24:09

around under the steering wheel and

24:11

stuff. And at some point, I

24:13

got to Mike and I go,

24:15

where is the start button? And

24:17

he goes, oh no, when you

24:20

have the fob, it'll start, you

24:22

just put it in drive. I'm

24:24

like, okay, well first off, you

24:26

could say that. You could say

24:28

it when you're handing me the

24:30

keys, you're handing me the keys.

24:32

You go into the airport bathroom.

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24:49

Bedalon, the game starts here. You

24:51

do the hand. Sink thing. You

24:54

do the soap automatic, you know,

24:56

whatever. Then you go to the

24:58

paper towel thing and you're standing

25:00

there waving your hand under it

25:02

and then at some point some

25:04

guy walks by and goes, there's

25:06

a hand, you gotta pull the

25:09

handle down. And you're like, okay,

25:11

you can't go automation, automation, and

25:13

then manual. We got to go

25:15

all magic eye or all fucking

25:17

manual. I want to go back

25:19

too to the cloth ones that

25:21

just go, that recycle or what?

25:23

I like that. I was always,

25:26

I was always a little dubious

25:28

to me, like what? Where's this

25:30

going? Where's this going? Is it

25:32

coming back around? How much do

25:34

they have back there? Yeah. I

25:36

always imagine like another bathroom with

25:38

a truck stop far far away

25:40

and you pull it, his goes

25:43

up. Like it's like, whoa! It's

25:45

like, whoa! It's like, what are

25:47

those things in a park where

25:49

you talk in one? Right, right,

25:51

right. Yeah. Or the ones that

25:53

were like sandpaper. Do you remember

25:55

that from like junior high or

25:58

whatever? Yeah. Yeah, this will dry

26:00

your hand up. These are very

26:02

absorbent. The other weird, there was

26:04

a, I would like to look

26:06

into some of these like inventions

26:08

from the 50s and the 60s.

26:10

Yes, the hand drying station with

26:12

the circular cloth belt that didn't

26:15

seem to ever get cleaned or

26:17

go away. And then a red

26:19

line will hit like a receipt,

26:21

you know? like when the receipts

26:23

running out. I don't know if

26:25

you guys remember but like high

26:27

school gymnasiums from the like 40s

26:29

had a drinking fountain cove in

26:32

them with a weird head shower

26:34

sprayer thing that was in there

26:36

as well. Like it wasn't just

26:38

the water in the water fountain

26:40

it was like some weird thing

26:42

where you'd put your head. You

26:44

gotta find me one of those.

26:47

I guess it was like a

26:49

high school, old time, high school

26:51

gymnasium, drinking fountain head thing or

26:53

something. But it was weird. I

26:55

would never, I don't know what

26:57

you did with it. Like it

26:59

was unclear. You're not shower, there

27:01

are showers. Yeah. But it was

27:04

yeah, it was like cool your

27:06

head down. And went to the

27:08

school district thing. This is what

27:10

we want everywhere. About 72. I

27:12

went to. I mean, look, I

27:14

like a good joke as much

27:16

as the next guy, but the

27:19

gym may have been built later,

27:21

but it was always academic. Some

27:23

dudes would always shove gum into

27:25

the drinking fountain and then would

27:27

just shoot out and weird spray,

27:29

like form. It's like, you have

27:31

to fucking, how antisocial. Yeah. I

27:33

mean, look, I like a good

27:36

joke as much as the next

27:38

guy, but how fucking antisocial do

27:40

you have to beat? These are

27:42

right up there with the guys

27:44

that the truck stop who piss

27:46

all over the toilet paper roll.

27:48

People do that? People do that?

27:50

Well I don't know if they're

27:53

people, I call them animals. But

27:55

that is... You've never seen that?

27:57

You've never seen the piss on

27:59

the roll? No, but a guy

28:01

at my junior high used to

28:03

wipe his ass and roll it

28:05

back up. Oh yeah! And he

28:08

would call, and like if anybody

28:10

went to the bathroom out there,

28:12

old gymnasium... drinking fountain head shower

28:14

coves. There were like coves, like

28:16

they were built in, like you

28:18

put your head in the wall,

28:20

they weren't surface mounted on the

28:22

side of the gym. I don't

28:25

know what the fuck. Yeah, like

28:27

you're doing a blessed ritual. Yeah,

28:29

I know what you're talking about.

28:31

I've seen it in like old

28:33

gymnasians. You're right, but I don't

28:35

know what the hell that's called

28:37

or even that was a thing.

28:39

All right, so we got one

28:42

thing you said there though is

28:44

I in COVID the lowest moment

28:46

for me. I was on the

28:48

beach in Carpenteria and I was

28:50

sitting there and nobody was around

28:52

me my son and a couple

28:54

other people and a guy came

28:57

up and said, sir. Yeah, you

28:59

couldn't be sitting on the beach.

29:01

Yeah, on the beach, getting vitamin

29:03

D. Un real. The one thing

29:05

the cops said to me on

29:07

the beach was, get on the

29:09

ground. Yeah, he needed you on

29:11

the ground. You get up. There

29:14

is a great, I will, uh,

29:16

I don't put that to the

29:18

booth. We had a VID from

29:20

CNN during COVID. Not this. You

29:22

know, the weirdest thing about life

29:24

is whenever I describe, I just

29:26

get something, I go, okay, I

29:28

have a brain tumor the size

29:31

of a watermelon. He just showed

29:33

me a picture of a shower

29:35

from a bathroom. But here's my

29:37

whole thing. Don't even bother. Don't

29:39

even bother. Do not show me

29:41

a shower. That's not what I'm

29:43

talking about. It'll never be what

29:46

I'm talking about. But here's what

29:48

it is. It seems like something,

29:50

but it's worse than nothing. Because

29:52

now we just spent time. That's

29:54

what I'm saying. We just showed

29:56

up. Well, what did you say?

29:58

We just saw a shower from

30:00

a locker room. Which actually reminded

30:03

me of all of my friends'

30:05

penises. So it did good. From

30:07

junior high. All right. I'm trying

30:09

to think. All right, old gymnasium

30:11

drinking fountain. Just show me a

30:13

picture of an old gymnasium. What

30:15

are you typing in? That'll help

30:17

me, Byron. See if we can

30:20

find. Oh, here we go. The

30:22

internet is miraculous and wildly disappointing.

30:24

Say hi. All right, so you

30:26

typed in old gymnasium drinking fountain

30:28

and what did I describe to

30:30

you? It's like that. What did

30:32

I describe? I'm the Etsy right

30:35

there. Why didn't say shower? Yeah,

30:37

head shower. It's not really head

30:39

shower. No, no, no. Sort of

30:41

head shower. I put the word

30:43

shower in there. It's gonna throw

30:45

the whole search off. Yeah, you're

30:47

right. Okay. All right, so how

30:49

did I describe this? Here's my...

30:52

What's that? There's two of them,

30:54

what's that? Yeah, that was the

30:56

one right there. Wait a minute.

30:58

Here's the point. I'm trying to

31:00

figure out. Byron, how did I

31:02

describe this is the question. I'm

31:04

looking at it, but I want

31:06

to know why you don't know

31:09

what I'm looking for is what

31:11

I'm saying. How did I describe

31:13

this? An old drinking fountain built

31:15

into it. Right. And I... Well,

31:17

everything is later if you think

31:19

about conversations. Like, if I go,

31:21

hi, Nick, you'd go, you didn't

31:24

say Nick till later. Yeah. But

31:26

I... It is later, but yeah.

31:28

Yeah. So what were you looking

31:30

for? Sorry, Baron, go ahead. I

31:32

just want to make sure we

31:34

got what we got. Now I'm

31:36

not sure. I can see, you

31:38

don't know what it is. I

31:41

can see a tear in there.

31:43

I can see a tear in

31:45

there. Like a water fountain that

31:47

also had a place where you

31:49

can wash your head or... Yeah,

31:51

built into a wall? I will

31:53

say this, I don't think he

31:55

ever said wash your head. I

31:58

think he said there's a thing

32:00

that sprayed water at the top.

32:02

Do you see anything that might

32:04

resemble that? Just go to the

32:06

first one. Go to the first

32:08

one, click it. Okay, what does

32:10

that, what does that look like?

32:13

So it is... That's a pisser,

32:15

isn't it? I don't know what

32:17

that is, or goes that one.

32:19

It's a cove, it's built in,

32:21

and it has a drinking fountain,

32:23

and you put your head in

32:25

it, and you drink, and you

32:27

like douse your head. Mind blown.

32:30

Yeah, go to the, sorry, go

32:32

back to the top there for

32:34

a second, sorry. Go to the

32:36

number three. Yeah, maybe this is

32:38

our best bet. I think number

32:40

three on the left, yeah. It's

32:42

basically that right. Yeah, you get

32:44

a drink and you get your

32:47

head squirted. Oh, they don't do

32:49

that. They don't do that anymore.

32:51

They're trying to cool people down

32:53

a little bit, I guess. They

32:55

had a lot of thoughts about

32:57

your skull. You know, there was

32:59

like lots of reading your skull,

33:02

you know, they called them a

33:04

craniologists or something like Gypsy Women

33:06

would like, oh, okay, you're gonna

33:08

run into a lot of money

33:10

soon. accession yeah with the with

33:12

the skull and so that was

33:14

just take an eye shot for

33:16

your head they just they figured

33:19

they cool you down by spraying

33:21

your head which makes sense I

33:23

think it's a good idea yeah

33:25

make water fine so you were

33:27

asked let's see there was a

33:29

CNN clip that we have in

33:31

our bank from COVID days where

33:33

I was making fun of them

33:36

because they're pitching a fit because

33:38

They opened the beaches in Florida

33:40

and people weren't distancing. They weren't

33:42

safely distancing and they were just

33:44

showing B-roll of people walking around

33:46

on the beach, like couples and

33:48

stuff and CNN was having a

33:51

meltdown because they're like, look at

33:53

those people laying down next to

33:55

each other on a towel. It's

33:57

like, well, those people live with

33:59

each other. How weird would it

34:01

be if there's just someone laying

34:03

on the beach and I just

34:05

spread my towel out right next

34:08

to their town just plopped down?

34:10

Those people are getting in the

34:12

same car and driving home. So

34:14

I think it's okay for them

34:16

to lay next to each other

34:18

on the beach. It was this

34:20

dumb thing where they had to

34:22

lay out the rules so that

34:25

we could eventually all just stop

34:27

following them. Right. Because they hated

34:29

Florida because Florida was like, fuck

34:31

that. in the beach. But here's,

34:33

okay, Anderson Cooper, here's why we

34:35

never need to listen to anything

34:37

ever say again. Here we go.

34:40

Randy Kay is in Jacksonville, Florida,

34:42

where beaches reopen and, well, Randy,

34:44

what happened next? People. Well Anderson

34:46

it was a mad dash here

34:48

for the ocean. Once police gave

34:50

they all clear all the people

34:52

who had been lined up in

34:54

the streets waiting to get to

34:57

the beach when they opened today

34:59

at 5 p.m. They just flooded

35:01

the area. They were biking, they

35:03

were running, they were swimming, they

35:05

were swimming, surfing, they were fishing,

35:07

some of them. What? A lot

35:09

of people brought their dogs. What

35:11

did the dog? Not a dog

35:14

beach. what the mayor of Jacksonville

35:16

is saying. He says, Lenny Curry

35:18

is his name, he says that

35:20

these are essential activities, that all

35:22

of those activities, those recreational activities

35:24

on the beach are considered essential

35:26

and they are well in line

35:29

with the Florida governor's executive order.

35:31

So he says it's okay. He

35:33

is limiting the hours on the

35:35

beach Anderson from five to eight

35:37

p.m. So it just closed a

35:39

short time ago here and also

35:41

from six to 11 in the

35:43

morning. So the hours in between

35:46

there, the beach will be shut

35:48

down. So we talked to some

35:50

people. We asked them what it

35:52

was like to be back on

35:54

the beach. This is news everybody.

35:56

Also asked them if they saw

35:58

any social distancing. What? From what

36:00

we could see, there wasn't a

36:03

whole lot of... All right, posit,

36:05

posit. First of these people are

36:07

so fucking stupid. It's like mostly

36:09

peaceful protests with a warehouse burning

36:11

behind him. They show a guy

36:13

walking alone. Walking on the beach

36:15

with his dog. And his dog

36:18

is even social distance. The dog

36:20

is six foot four inches away

36:22

on his leash. There that girl

36:24

too is like her parent. She

36:26

might not be in a bubble

36:28

with her parents. There's a couple

36:30

people in the frame that are

36:32

all more than socially distances. Right.

36:35

But go back ten seconds. Just.

36:37

just for fun. Anyway, next time

36:39

CNN tells you something, think about

36:41

this clip, everybody. This is a

36:43

hard hitting report they were doing

36:45

in 2020. Okay. We talked to

36:47

some people, we asked them what

36:49

it was like to be back

36:52

on the beach today. We also

36:54

asked them if they saw any

36:56

social distancing because from what we

36:58

could see, there wasn't a whole

37:00

lot of that going on. The

37:02

mayor did ask that. People still

37:04

do their social distancing here on.

37:07

The mayor did ask that. People

37:09

still do their social distancing here

37:11

on the beach, try and keep

37:13

six feet away from each other

37:15

at least. Why aren't you people

37:17

scared? We're telling you to be

37:19

scared. But you won't do it.

37:21

You want to go outside. The

37:24

part where she said that they

37:26

were running down like they hadn't

37:28

been down here for years, but

37:30

really it's just been a month.

37:32

Yeah, just blocked in your fucking

37:34

shitty apartment for a month. Yeah.

37:36

All right, sorry, there's more. Because

37:38

I think there's I think they

37:41

get back down. Oh, it just

37:43

ended there. Okay, because Anderson, I

37:45

saw it before he was disgusted.

37:47

These people, what they were doing.

37:49

Oh, oh, yeah. It's always so

37:51

fun. Okay, these are modern times

37:53

people. These are modern times. These

37:56

people have information. It's, it's all,

37:58

uh, anyway. Just, it should, it

38:00

should be played all the time.

38:02

They should be humiliated all the

38:04

time. That's right. Thank you, Anderson

38:06

Cooper. What else? What else is

38:08

next? What else can we talk

38:10

about? Ivermectin, hydroxychloricrin? What else do

38:13

you know? What else do you

38:15

know? You're not allowed to drive

38:17

because they want to keep the

38:19

roads open for... Did you ever

38:21

see that? Like they... I went

38:23

and I rode up to Angelus

38:25

Crest when it was snowing. Like

38:27

it was like the first month.

38:30

Never left my car. Drove my

38:32

son from my son from my

38:34

house there. Took a photo. and

38:36

then people are like you're supposed

38:38

to stay off the roads it's

38:40

like i didn't even go to

38:42

a gas station i was i'm

38:45

at the time i was actually

38:47

scared of gas stations. You know,

38:49

I was scared to catch something

38:51

or my son. There's many reasons

38:53

to be scared of gas stations

38:55

in LA. Mainly the guy running

38:57

it. What is? Pump 7? No!

38:59

Could I get a snicker's part?

39:02

No, no snicker. It's not taking

39:04

my card against her. Yeah. Can

39:06

I use the bath? No. Yes.

39:08

Yes, I beat you with Squeegy!

39:10

Leave! I beat you! No! You

39:12

want Snicker Smart? Sir, please. What

39:14

bump yard? What is? Seven? No!

39:16

Leave! We rechecked your card. Yeah,

39:19

they, they, yeah. Please see Cashier.

39:21

Oh, that's the worst. Every time

39:23

that pops up on the screen,

39:25

it's like, I'm just going to

39:27

go to a new gas station.

39:29

Please see cashier is right up

39:31

there with when you're going through

39:34

TSA and they pull your backpack

39:36

out. Oh, whose backpack is this?

39:38

That's what police see cashier now,

39:40

I mean, just like, you're right.

39:42

Yeah, this is never gonna work.

39:44

There's a gas station where it

39:46

does it every time and I

39:48

said the guy, I go, why

39:51

does it do it? And he

39:53

goes, oh, you can't use cards

39:55

out there. Yeah. is to get

39:57

you in there and buy a

39:59

Snickers. Let me tell you something.

40:01

Let me tell you where you

40:03

want to live. You want to

40:05

live in a place where You

40:08

could pump your gas. They trust

40:10

you to pump your gas and

40:12

then go in and pay and

40:14

you want to live in a

40:16

place That has a Starbucks where

40:18

you go in and you go

40:20

I got to use the bathroom.

40:23

What's the code and they go

40:25

we don't have a code right

40:27

there like that's You can talk

40:29

about school systems and all sorts

40:31

of shit, you know hospitals nearby

40:33

Whatever you want demographic, you know

40:35

the average person this neighborhood makes

40:37

hundred and eighty six Does the

40:40

Starbucks have a code on the

40:42

bathroom if there's no code on

40:44

the bathroom? You want to live

40:46

that Trust me the school system's

40:48

good, too. What about organ if

40:50

you go do you I used

40:52

I pump gas in organ When

40:54

I was 15 for a whole

40:57

summer just as a job Yeah,

40:59

that nobody else because the people

41:01

can't pump their own gas right.

41:03

Yeah, that's a weird. I like

41:05

it. It feels very bygone era

41:07

to me, but I like it

41:09

There's certain things that they stick

41:12

with because it just makes them

41:14

weird or different or whatever and

41:16

and it's part of their like

41:18

heritage or something like Porsche Portia's

41:20

have the key Whatever on the

41:22

left side of the steering wheel

41:24

everyone else has it on the

41:26

right side if you picture every

41:29

car I've ever had it's always

41:31

on the right Porsche's on the

41:33

left and it's like that was

41:35

from way back in the Lamar

41:37

days when they do like the

41:39

running starts and they have to

41:41

jump in the car and it

41:43

was like a little bit faster

41:46

to have it on the doorside

41:48

if you're running and jumping into

41:50

your car and starting a race

41:52

maybe a shave a tenth of

41:54

a second or something but they

41:56

don't need to do that in

41:58

their SUVs you know but they

42:01

do because it's Porsche and that's

42:03

their thing. You know what I

42:05

mean? So, like certain places, restaurants,

42:07

states, Oregon, they go, this is

42:09

kind of us, you know, we

42:11

kind of like that. Yeah, I

42:13

wonder why they keep it, but

42:15

it's just another job, I guess.

42:18

Yeah, they also, it's weirdly in

42:20

Oregon or in Portland, they have

42:22

all those Bubbler drinking fountains. which

42:24

is Byron's looking up a picture

42:26

of a gym shower right now.

42:28

They're the drinking fountains that just

42:30

sit in Portland and they just

42:32

bubble water the entire time. Oh,

42:35

it kind of comes up, yeah.

42:37

Yeah, it comes up. like a

42:39

little mini little like eight inch

42:41

fountain six inch fountain it's just

42:43

bubbles the whole time and you

42:45

come home from the club it

42:47

at four in the morning you

42:50

walk past it and it's just

42:52

bubbling there because it's a fountain

42:54

it doesn't go around it's drinking

42:56

water that's being wasted what you

42:58

know guys don't know about this

43:00

no why would they you pumped

43:02

tane in Oregon I think Tina

43:04

Turner said that Yeah, they, they,

43:07

they have, they're called, she also

43:09

said, Ike, stop, Ike, stop, pumped

43:11

a lot of tain down in

43:13

New Orleans, but I never, so,

43:15

Bubblers, am I the only one

43:17

in the building that's hip to

43:19

the Bubler? Well, I know I'll

43:21

stick my gum right there. The

43:24

bubble, you can't stick your gum

43:26

in a Bubler because it's always

43:28

on. You got to, you got

43:30

to stick it in the gym

43:32

one like at night and let

43:34

it dry overnight. I mean, what's

43:36

that doing though, is it? It's

43:39

wasting fucking clean water. The Bubblers

43:41

in Oregon, in Portland. Okay, first

43:43

off, I'd like to go to

43:45

like, you know. the Sudan and

43:47

go, how's it going over here?

43:49

It's like we have seen so

43:51

much firemen. Oh, interesting. Let me

43:53

tell you what we got. You

43:56

ever seen a mirage? We have

43:58

during the past six over 24

44:00

seven for no fucking good racist.

44:02

That's how much water we have.

44:04

Some woman, I think here's the

44:06

story, some rich woman, which really

44:08

means rich dude died. because it's

44:10

a long time ago. Rich dude

44:13

died, gave the widow, left the

44:15

widow tons of money, and the

44:17

widow was like, my legacy are

44:19

these bubblers. I'm paying for these

44:21

bubblers before I die, and I

44:23

want them on. And I'm paying.

44:25

And I think that's the story.

44:28

Like, you know what I mean?

44:30

Like, that's a city thing, the

44:32

water. So it seems like how

44:34

could you do it in perpetuity,

44:36

just have a bubble? Well, she

44:38

originally wanted you, who to come

44:40

out of. Right? Has it always

44:42

been like that? Or is that?

44:45

We're going to find the story.

44:47

But I mean, this shit goes

44:49

back. Yeah. And they got drinking

44:51

fountains that run 24-7. in Portland.

44:53

The Benson Bubblers in Portland, Oregon

44:55

were funded by a $10,000 donation

44:57

from a businessman and his philanthropic

44:59

Simon Benson in 1912 for the

45:02

purchase for the purchase and installation

45:04

of 20 bronze drinking fountain. So

45:06

some guy bought him and did

45:08

him at the, you know, some

45:10

of 10,000 bucks in 1912. That

45:12

wasn't... jump change you know now

45:14

I don't know why he did

45:17

it to help he did the

45:19

fountain to encourage temperance he didn't

45:21

he wanted people not to drink

45:23

he wanted to keep loggers out

45:25

of the saloons but that's just

45:27

a good place to throw up

45:29

after you drink too much in

45:31

a saloon you know he thinks

45:34

that putting that out there is

45:36

keeping people sober yeah yeah that

45:38

was a strategy I I don't

45:40

know that he had a hundred

45:42

percent You know, success rate with

45:44

that? Did you get sober from

45:46

a Bubbler? No? Nobody smoked out

45:48

of a few Bubblers. So the

45:51

Benson Bubblers use a significant amount

45:53

of water annually with estimates suggesting

45:55

at least 19 million gallons or

45:57

nearly 40 swimming pools worth of

45:59

water wasted. How long? A year?

46:01

I thought you were going to

46:03

say a day. Yeah, what the

46:06

hell? Annually, every year. estimates 19

46:08

million. I know, but listen, I'm

46:10

not, I'm no tree hugger, but

46:12

if I was on the Oregon

46:14

City Council, I'm like, come on,

46:16

I like the old guys much

46:18

as next, but we have to

46:20

fucking keep the charade going. It's

46:23

been 130 years. What do we

46:25

do in here? Well, you also

46:27

think, when people think Oregon, they

46:29

think Portland, and they think, oh,

46:31

this progressive, Oregon is not. progressive.

46:33

No, Oregon. You see guys with

46:35

kilts and daggers in their fucking

46:38

cells. Once you get outside. Oh,

46:40

yeah, it's deep and dark. Deep

46:42

dark dudes over there. Yeah, my

46:44

whole family is from from Oregon.

46:46

Oh, yeah, I've seen dudes with

46:48

daggers and kilts and shit. It's

46:50

a quickie mark once you get

46:52

outside. Oh, that's Seattle's a big

46:55

kilt place too. Oh, it is.

46:57

You see dudes walking around in

46:59

kilts because there's some kilt company

47:01

out there that everybody else. I

47:03

was born in Oregon and lived

47:05

in Seattle. So the Bubblers are

47:07

still going and I can't imagine

47:09

that hundreds of overfishes Water loving

47:12

women on the Portland City Council

47:14

have not said we got to

47:16

do away with these bubbleers like

47:18

I like tradition I don't like

47:20

regulation but even I would go

47:22

yeah just put a fucking foot

47:24

paddle on it so you can

47:27

get the water when you wanted

47:29

it and then it stopped when

47:31

you're done. People are so concerned

47:33

about like almonds and the amount

47:35

of water that it takes to

47:37

Bubble bubble well, you know the

47:39

other thing that I would do

47:41

is I would go look Can

47:44

we get a water caption system

47:46

for the bubbleers like use that

47:48

water for irrigation and the answer

47:50

would be no? They will not

47:52

let you use that water irrigation

47:54

Yeah, it's a wash your kilt

47:56

that would not let you wash

47:58

your kilt with that water interior

48:01

of real strict rules I know

48:03

because I've been to Ed Bagley's

48:05

house and have strict rules about

48:07

recapturing water and what you can

48:09

use that recaptured water for and

48:11

they're really uptight about it. But

48:13

so the Bubler I made up

48:16

the part of the philanthropic guy's

48:18

wife. It wasn't her deal. It

48:20

was just a rich guy from

48:22

a hundred and thirteen years ago

48:24

who put in the Bubblers. But

48:26

when they thought water was just

48:28

going to be endless. Yeah, I

48:30

mean they get a lot more

48:33

rain out there, but yeah, still

48:35

seems like I mean they're on

48:37

Like I said you walk by

48:39

Sunday two in the morning. There's

48:41

nobody around everything is closed and

48:43

those fucking things are bubbly If

48:45

you thirst you that's when you

48:47

want to be away Or maybe

48:50

if that was LA We'd have

48:52

people stealing the water Who would

48:54

steal water? And I'd go, listen.

48:56

We have people crawling under Priuses

48:58

at four in the morning with

49:00

the sawsall stealing catalytic converters. We

49:02

just, I just saw this thing

49:05

with our mayor saying they're doing

49:07

a bunch of solar-paneled streetlights because

49:09

none of the streetlights work because

49:11

they pulled the copper wiring out.

49:13

So you tell me the Bubbler

49:15

theft? That's a bridge too far

49:17

for Bima from LA. They're pulling

49:19

fucking hot wire out of street

49:22

lamps at two in the morning.

49:24

I think they'll steal this fucking

49:26

water too. Also they steal, have

49:28

you seen that there's a guy

49:30

on TikTok who goes around every

49:32

city with a plug and plugs

49:34

in just, you know, like outside

49:36

of a business, there's just like

49:39

a plug and he plugs in,

49:41

he's like, there's power, free power,

49:43

and he checks everywhere, and there's

49:45

just so much free electricity. in

49:47

Portland who was like in a

49:49

one of those Winnebago's but he'd

49:51

tapped into the power system and

49:54

like tapped into the water system

49:56

and I'm like First off, don't

49:58

tell me that guy's unemployable. He

50:00

just parallel parked 32 foot Winnebago

50:02

in the middle of the city

50:04

got out of it tied into

50:06

the fucking electrical grid and tied

50:08

into the fucking waters. He's like

50:11

he's on a George Foreman grill

50:13

in there and he's just turned

50:15

his jacuzzi on for later. That

50:17

guy can't get a job. That

50:19

guy's one of the most employable

50:21

guys I want to hire that

50:23

guy. Yeah I'm surprised guys if

50:25

that was LA that would They

50:28

would tap into the bubler, befilling

50:30

big jugs of it, and dragging

50:32

it, like, to the Home Depot,

50:34

and trying to sell it in

50:36

front of the Home Depot. Yeah.

50:38

I saw the, in the world

50:40

of jobs that are too, I

50:43

don't know what the return is.

50:45

The guy in front of the

50:47

Home Depot over here, who sells

50:49

the chopped up papaya and the

50:51

pineapple and shit on the car

50:53

with the machete. I love the

50:55

idea that there's no regulation involved

50:57

with that guy. It's like, hey,

51:00

what's to sell food with his

51:02

hands in front of those people?

51:04

You don't know what's happening. Yeah,

51:06

it sounds like he's trying to

51:08

add on a porch or smoke

51:10

on the beach or something, walk

51:12

his dog on the beach, we

51:14

don't have to enforce any of

51:17

this. But I saw that guy

51:19

loading up that cart in the

51:21

back of the truck, go drive

51:23

home. Go to the wholesale papaya

51:25

district or something at four in

51:27

the morning and get that shit

51:29

cut it all up packet nice

51:32

like show up at the Home

51:34

Depot at 7 a.m. Stand like

51:36

or you can just get a

51:38

fucking job for UPS or something

51:40

like or find Something I don't

51:42

know when he's not getting I

51:44

don't got no papers, but I

51:46

don't know you got to go

51:49

outside the realm of regular work.

51:51

He's got to work under the

51:53

table. Yeah under the cart and

51:55

they don't have any fruit regulations,

51:57

but they don't let you serve

51:59

those Bacon-rapped hot dogs. Oh, they

52:01

do. Oh, they do about it.

52:03

They got those you have them,

52:06

but there it's illegal well as

52:08

I was thinking at eight in

52:10

the morning when I got woken

52:12

up by a leaf blower. Yeah,

52:14

so it's woken up by a

52:16

bacon wrapped hot. What is the,

52:18

what is the story with the

52:21

Bubbler? Portland must have had, they

52:23

must have tried to shut the

52:25

Bubblers a thousand times. Really? Well,

52:27

like you. Well, what I'm saying

52:29

is, is I could go, look,

52:31

you know, it's a. 1931, I'm

52:33

a rich industrialist and I'm going

52:35

to dedicate a swastika to the

52:38

town square, whatever. And then some

52:40

point I would die in 1963

52:42

and no one would go, we

52:44

got to keep this, you know.

52:46

You got to go, no, we

52:48

don't want this. I mean, you

52:50

guys tear down statues all fucking

52:52

day, every day in Portland. Why,

52:55

why are we putting up with

52:57

the bubbleers? There's something that's baked

52:59

in. Maybe it's big bubbler. You

53:01

know, grease in the palms, you

53:03

know. Yeah, they got their lobbyists

53:05

out there, spread the money around.

53:07

These guys go right from the

53:10

drinking fountain manufacturing, right into big

53:12

bubble, and they become lobbyists, and

53:14

their greased humans farm. Totally in

53:16

with them. Yeah, he's in with

53:18

big bubler. Hey man, they support

53:20

my whole campaign. I don't know

53:22

what I'm gonna do. Go let

53:24

my campaign go down the train.

53:27

Next, what is the Bubbler story?

53:29

Because there's, they can't like it.

53:31

It's gotta be great for birds.

53:33

Yeah. I mean, you're a bird.

53:35

Maybe it is about Halah for

53:37

you, like just going into the

53:39

poor. And I'm just gonna hang

53:41

out in these Bublers. It's their

53:44

way of making up for windows.

53:46

Nobody. Which has really been the

53:48

death of a lot of birds.

53:50

You know, it is, but in

53:52

a way. Ryan

57:07

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1:16:55

between jobs. Nick Thune is on

1:16:57

the Adam Corolla show. It's got

1:16:59

a standard special, Born Young, is

1:17:02

available as we speak on YouTube.

1:17:04

Got dates. Gonna be at the

1:17:06

Allegiant Theater in Los Angeles. It'll

1:17:08

be April 19th and then May

1:17:10

28th Irvine at the Irvine improv

1:17:12

You go to nickthoon.com. What do

1:17:15

you got in the news? Man,

1:17:17

all right, first up got some

1:17:19

video. No audio a woman's fencer

1:17:21

opens up on refusing to face

1:17:24

transgender opponent Accepting punishment and backlash.

1:17:26

I'm sure you she's getting punishment.

1:17:28

Yeah The female fencer says the

1:17:30

issue is turning for my lifelong

1:17:33

Democrat, a conservative Republican. How much,

1:17:35

how, you know, you think a

1:17:37

certain sports, you know, and you

1:17:39

go, what's the advantage? You know,

1:17:42

what's the advantage here? And you watch

1:17:44

highlights of the W NBA and

1:17:46

then the next highlight clip is

1:17:48

the NBA and you go, okay,

1:17:50

there's a big difference here between

1:17:53

men and women. But fencing,

1:17:55

I feel like it could be some. Like

1:17:57

with some reach? You know, maybe the little

1:17:59

arm base, really? Women are okay on

1:18:01

their feet and they love to

1:18:03

cut up with it. Like they're

1:18:05

inspired. You know what I mean?

1:18:08

They're almost motivated. You know what

1:18:10

I mean? You get to stab

1:18:12

a dude. Yeah, this is her,

1:18:14

taking off her helmet, taking a

1:18:16

knee, and essentially saying that, you

1:18:18

know, I can't face you because

1:18:20

you're a man. She says this.

1:18:22

It's a weird sport. They have

1:18:25

a tether attached to them. It's

1:18:27

really. It's essentially the opposite of

1:18:29

sword fighting as we know it

1:18:31

through cinema. You know what I

1:18:33

mean? Like I grew up with

1:18:35

the three musketeers, man. It was

1:18:37

guys, guys would slash a rope

1:18:39

and a whole candle, you know,

1:18:42

whole, uh-oh, slash the candle-obra, they'd

1:18:44

slash the rope. Well, first they'd

1:18:46

like swing on the shandler, then

1:18:48

they'd slash the rope and the

1:18:50

shandler, all on all the guards

1:18:52

for you. They don't make them

1:18:54

to capture guardsmen anymore. You know,

1:18:56

and it was like stuff was

1:18:59

getting knocked over and guys were

1:19:01

carving, you know, the zena guy's

1:19:03

chest, you know, and they're wearing

1:19:05

a mustache and something. Now they're

1:19:07

all fucking patted up with a

1:19:09

tether on them and stuff. Like,

1:19:11

I don't, I don't get it.

1:19:13

It's a game of tag, yeah.

1:19:16

Well, she got black carded for

1:19:18

this, I guess, in Fencer, parlance,

1:19:20

that's like, like, really bad. She

1:19:22

disallowed from competing in tournaments again.

1:19:24

So, sports been like behavior. This

1:19:26

is like, it's one of those,

1:19:28

it's a, I don't, you know,

1:19:30

the argument is, here's the argument.

1:19:33

The right goes, we don't want

1:19:35

women, men competing with women, by

1:19:37

the way, there's never beef about

1:19:39

the other way around. No one

1:19:41

ever goes a this chick wants

1:19:43

to join the men's football team

1:19:45

and no one everyone goes like

1:19:47

fine because I don't think they

1:19:49

have an advantage like it only

1:19:52

goes one direction the beef is

1:19:54

with a physical advantage over over

1:19:56

your Sports, here's the thing about

1:19:58

sports, everybody. Listen to me. Sports

1:20:00

are all about parody all the

1:20:02

time. That's all they do. NASCAR,

1:20:04

F1, the scrutinyering is insane. I

1:20:06

mean, every car needs to pass

1:20:09

tech, 100%. Even in my vintage

1:20:11

racing, they have tech. inspections for

1:20:13

cars and they will tell you

1:20:15

they go okay we're doing this

1:20:17

vintage race it's the Rolex historic

1:20:19

in Monterey here's your run group

1:20:21

here are the tires you can

1:20:23

run you cannot run modern tires

1:20:26

it's unfair to other people for

1:20:28

you to be on these biased

1:20:30

these non-biased slicks or whatever whereas

1:20:32

other guys are running old-schools tires

1:20:34

that would be appropriate with the

1:20:36

era that the car was raised.

1:20:38

So they got tons of rules

1:20:40

because they go, look, it's got

1:20:43

to be just the driver. We're

1:20:45

going to check and they pass

1:20:47

the car through through tech. F1

1:20:49

is like forget about it. Templates

1:20:51

and measurements and weights and blah

1:20:53

blah blah. If a car has

1:20:55

like an advantage, like back in

1:20:57

the day, they'll start adding weight

1:21:00

to the back of the car

1:21:02

to stop their advantage. Brady had

1:21:04

four less pounds in his football

1:21:06

of air and they're like, fuck

1:21:08

that. No, they have to be,

1:21:10

you cannot deflate gate over here.

1:21:12

We don't need to put gate

1:21:14

behind everything. I don't know why

1:21:17

we do that all the time.

1:21:19

But the point is, is all

1:21:21

we go, all we do is

1:21:23

parody. That's all we do. Or

1:21:25

how about, you know, oh, it's

1:21:27

the little league and there's a

1:21:29

guy on the 13 year old

1:21:31

team, but he's Dominican and he

1:21:34

lost this. his driver's license and

1:21:36

he's got a mustache and we

1:21:38

you know it's like oh we

1:21:40

can't have a 17 year old

1:21:42

playing with the 13 year olds

1:21:44

and it's all parody that's all

1:21:46

it is we go we need

1:21:48

to even out the playing field.

1:21:51

I mean, they even have, you

1:21:53

know, it's like in football, they

1:21:55

go, you go this direction for

1:21:57

the first half and then you

1:21:59

go the other direction, the second

1:22:01

half, in case there's something going

1:22:03

on. The wind is blowing or

1:22:05

the fields a little out of

1:22:08

kilter, whatever it is. Zero advantages.

1:22:10

So this is really just an

1:22:12

extension of what we always do,

1:22:14

which is there's no buddy in

1:22:16

the MLB who plays with an

1:22:18

aluminum bat. And if you did

1:22:20

try to go to the plate

1:22:22

with a little bat, they'd be

1:22:25

like, now, gotta be out of

1:22:27

hickory or whatever, whatever. Now they

1:22:29

do the torpedo bat. But see?

1:22:31

Same thing, though. You're making my

1:22:33

point, which is, somebody came out

1:22:35

with a bat that's a little

1:22:37

bit different in shape, and now

1:22:39

it's a big discussion. Can we

1:22:42

use this bat? Is it an

1:22:44

advantage? because we need parity. So

1:22:46

that's all this is. The guy's

1:22:48

got a little more muscle mass,

1:22:50

a little taller, a little stronger,

1:22:52

he's got an advantage, so we're

1:22:54

against it. And then the Democrats

1:22:56

are like, what are you guys

1:22:59

obsessed with this for? And the

1:23:01

answer is like, we didn't want

1:23:03

to be obsessed with it, but

1:23:05

this thing started happening, and then

1:23:07

we said no, that's all. You

1:23:09

don't have to be obsessed with

1:23:11

it, just... No. His fencing culture,

1:23:13

I guess, a lot of people

1:23:16

are from colleges and whatnot, so

1:23:18

it's a very woke kind of

1:23:20

culture. What would be the sport

1:23:22

that would work? Like bowling, men

1:23:24

have a higher average, right? Obviously,

1:23:26

there's the football and the wrestling

1:23:28

and that boxing or combat sports

1:23:30

or something, but fencing would be

1:23:33

getting around, down to a spot,

1:23:35

like I don't even really understand

1:23:37

why there's a women's division in

1:23:39

pool. You know what I mean?

1:23:41

Shouldn't we just... Yeah, huh? Yeah.

1:23:43

It's like, I don't know, how

1:23:45

much upper bodies it take? Is

1:23:47

there anything where it doesn't, they

1:23:50

don't have a division? Yeah, horse

1:23:52

jumping. Really? Yes. Oh yeah? Yeah,

1:23:54

it's true, yeah. So they do

1:23:56

that in the horse jumping competition.

1:23:58

Men and females compete. Yeah, side

1:24:00

by side. That's because it's those

1:24:02

jockey, those really. Yeah, women are

1:24:04

lighter normally than men. So maybe

1:24:06

they do have a little advantage

1:24:09

there. And they fucking, they fucking

1:24:11

love horses. Every girl has a

1:24:13

phase where it's like, I love

1:24:15

a horse, I need a horse.

1:24:17

Oh yeah. Yeah, the size of

1:24:19

there. Yeah. I couldn't imagine making

1:24:21

the pitch to my parents. Hey.

1:24:23

I'm looking at horses this week

1:24:26

and what do you say? Like

1:24:28

you're not even getting Levi's, you're

1:24:30

getting fucking tough kids. I forget

1:24:32

about a horse. A horse. I

1:24:34

would have loved to make that

1:24:36

pitch. I'd like to go back

1:24:38

in time and film myself asking

1:24:40

my parents for shit that my

1:24:43

kids asked me for. Genuinely. Yeah,

1:24:45

like my daughter's like, look, I

1:24:47

got the Mercedes, you leased me,

1:24:49

but next time around like a

1:24:51

convertible, if that be cool. Like

1:24:53

I just like to watch my

1:24:55

dad's face. You want what? Like,

1:24:57

it'd be the craziest, that'd be

1:25:00

the best show ever. Adam builds

1:25:02

a time machine and asks him

1:25:04

to get asked. You should be

1:25:06

like, no? Like, what do you

1:25:08

mean, a horse? Like, well, my

1:25:10

parents would be confused. Like, I

1:25:12

go to them, uh, I want

1:25:14

to go to space camp this

1:25:17

year, it's in Tampa, Florida. They

1:25:19

just, they'd look at me, like,

1:25:21

I don't know if you're. I

1:25:23

don't know what you're asking. Like

1:25:25

they wouldn't go, you know, how

1:25:27

much money that would go. I

1:25:29

think it would, it'd be like

1:25:31

talking to a person, it'd be

1:25:34

like finding a person from 1812

1:25:36

and pulling out your cell phone

1:25:38

and going, you want to check

1:25:40

it out? You want to see

1:25:42

what maps are like? Or we

1:25:44

can watch people, fuck. You just

1:25:46

go like this, go, what, what,

1:25:48

what, what, what, your sorcerer? From

1:25:51

the future. All right, what else

1:25:53

you got, man? A little sad

1:25:55

news here. Miller Gardner's toxicology results

1:25:57

confirm his cause of death after

1:25:59

the Yankees' great son, 14, died

1:26:01

on vacation. Yeah, apparently he died.

1:26:03

of carbon monoxide inhalation, the son

1:26:05

of a... Where were they? His

1:26:08

legend, Brett Gardner. They were in

1:26:10

Costa Rica. Costa Rican authorities said

1:26:12

that the hotel room, yeah, filled

1:26:14

with carbon monoxide. And the rest

1:26:16

of the family was suffering a

1:26:18

mysterious illness. Carbon, I've had carbon

1:26:20

monoxide. Mm-hmm. Oh man. First off,

1:26:22

that's the way to die. Yeah.

1:26:25

It is. It's the equivalent of

1:26:27

the bird hitting the glass. You

1:26:29

go to bed. You just go

1:26:31

to bed and you don't wake

1:26:33

up. That's it. There's no, there's

1:26:35

no pain. There's no, if there

1:26:37

was a struggle, you would wake

1:26:39

up and stagger out of the

1:26:42

room. You do not, you just,

1:26:44

you go to bed. That's it.

1:26:46

And that's why people used to

1:26:48

kill themselves in their cars all

1:26:50

the time before all these catalytic

1:26:52

converters and oxygen pumps and all

1:26:54

this VPA bullshit. They just put

1:26:56

the hose in the exhaust pad.

1:26:59

Yeah, how many scenes in every

1:27:01

movie we've seen that it's like

1:27:03

yeah, fire it up, go to

1:27:05

bed, just go to bed. The

1:27:07

carbon monoxide makes you sleepy like

1:27:09

coming out of oral surgery kind

1:27:11

of vibe, you know, or like

1:27:13

that. Yeah, going under when they

1:27:16

put you under, that's what it

1:27:18

feels like. It's not like drowning.

1:27:20

No, there's no struggle. I'm saying

1:27:22

this to anyone who's thinking about

1:27:24

killing themselves. Don't jump off a

1:27:26

fucking skyscraper. You're going to land

1:27:28

on somebody. He's just walking their

1:27:30

dog. You know what I mean?

1:27:33

And don't do death by cop

1:27:35

or whatever. That guy's got to

1:27:37

live with that. Carbon monoxide, man.

1:27:39

You literally go to bed. You

1:27:41

should do some PSAs. I should.

1:27:43

And I'd start off. Hey, I'm

1:27:45

Adam Kroll. But I have to

1:27:47

do that from the Man Show.

1:27:50

Like, I have to do that

1:27:52

from, you know, from the Man

1:27:54

Show. You might remember me from

1:27:56

the Man Show. Yeah, I gotta

1:27:58

do that you might remember me

1:28:00

at the beginning. Because otherwise, it's

1:28:02

going to be like, I was

1:28:04

this dude. talking about this. And

1:28:07

it's just creeping in. And see,

1:28:09

in places that are kind of

1:28:11

third worldy, they don't have their

1:28:13

shit figured out. So you just

1:28:15

go to bed and the heaters

1:28:17

on and the heaters is not

1:28:19

properly ventilated and it's going into

1:28:21

the thing and it's pumping through

1:28:23

the thing. Yeah, carbon dioxide will

1:28:26

fuck you up. It will kill

1:28:28

you. And there's nothing you're gonna

1:28:30

do about it because you just

1:28:32

go, I'm going to bed. And

1:28:34

it's just creeping in. and you

1:28:36

can't smell it and you just

1:28:38

don't wake up. And if you

1:28:40

do, you're completely out of it

1:28:43

and you're nauseous and everything else.

1:28:45

Yeah, those carbon monoxide dreams are.

1:28:47

Oh my God. Yeah, I got

1:28:49

a car down a dentist. Yeah.

1:28:51

You gotta load some highway. Yeah.

1:28:53

Yeah, I had the dream. I

1:28:55

was in a bathroom at a

1:28:57

comedy club and some bitch was

1:29:00

shitting up the stall next to

1:29:02

me. I was like, oh, I

1:29:04

got this Bible the door. I

1:29:06

can't, I can't get out of

1:29:08

here. It's a crazy dream, man.

1:29:10

Really quick. Were you friends with,

1:29:12

you know, Greg Geraldo? Yeah. Oh,

1:29:14

I wasn't friends with, but I

1:29:17

know. Somebody told me this funny

1:29:19

joke that he did the other

1:29:21

day. He was pissing next to

1:29:23

somebody in one of those bathrooms.

1:29:25

No, he didn't do the joke

1:29:27

the other day. No, but no,

1:29:29

yeah, told about this experience. Yeah,

1:29:31

gone for 10 years. And they

1:29:34

had those little dividers between the

1:29:36

urinals and in the middle of

1:29:38

being he knocked on it and

1:29:40

said, I hate these things. All

1:29:42

right, sad, but that is a.

1:29:44

Does not happen in this country

1:29:46

at the Sheridan Universal or whatever

1:29:48

like that is a thing as

1:29:51

much as I rail this country

1:29:53

they get eaten by alligators That's

1:29:55

right in Florida as much as

1:29:57

I like to rail against you

1:29:59

know red tape and over regulation

1:30:01

and shit like that yeah we

1:30:03

got building codes here and that

1:30:05

shit doesn't happen here explain this

1:30:08

because it doesn't say it in

1:30:10

the you know what? What would

1:30:12

be the likely reason for this?

1:30:14

You know, would it be, you

1:30:16

know, if you violate some code,

1:30:18

there's some type of carbon monoxide

1:30:20

released from somewhere in the house,

1:30:22

they didn't state it in this

1:30:25

new, the report. I don't know

1:30:27

why in Costa Rica or whatever

1:30:29

it was, if you turn your

1:30:31

heater on and your heater is

1:30:33

not properly vented, it'll kick back

1:30:35

just like fires start when people

1:30:37

turn their dryers on and the

1:30:39

vents are filled with lid. But

1:30:42

get a carbon monoxide alarm as

1:30:44

well as a smoke alarm. The

1:30:46

thing about a fire is fires

1:30:48

are kind of loud if you

1:30:50

ever really think about a fire

1:30:52

like stuff burning is loud and

1:30:54

I mean My neighbor's house caught

1:30:56

on fire a million years ago.

1:30:59

I was a million feet away

1:31:01

like watching sports under my den

1:31:03

and I could hear it pop

1:31:05

pop, you know, whatever you you

1:31:07

wake up you smell it and

1:31:09

you hear it and then you

1:31:11

get up and you go I'll

1:31:13

fucking crawl out of the window

1:31:16

my underpass. Carbon monoxide you just

1:31:18

go to bed and you do

1:31:20

not wake up and there's no

1:31:22

anything going off so you need

1:31:24

a carbon monoxide alarm detector really

1:31:26

but there's they're built in to

1:31:28

a lot of smoke detectors and

1:31:30

there I don't know 25 bucks

1:31:33

or something so it's no big

1:31:35

deal to do it. You know

1:31:37

what's weird? Look up Vedas garylytes.

1:31:39

You guys know Vedas garylytuses? Never

1:31:41

met him. Yeah, she's hot. Well,

1:31:43

I never met Abraham Lincoln, but

1:31:45

you know, Vedas garylytuses. No, no.

1:31:47

Okay. Vedas garylytus was a professional

1:31:50

ranked, maybe Wimbledon winning tennis player.

1:31:52

Like top ranked. back in you

1:31:54

know with the John McEnroe days

1:31:56

and all that kind of stuff.

1:31:58

Oh no you're thinking of you're

1:32:00

thinking of the other guy. Okay.

1:32:02

thing a burent war. There we

1:32:04

go. I'm in the same era

1:32:07

though, right? It's like a crossover.

1:32:09

Yeah, fetus gary lice. I know

1:32:11

his biggest win was. I don't

1:32:13

know if he won the French

1:32:15

Open or he won. Wimbledon, like

1:32:17

what is fetus gary litis biggest

1:32:19

tennis win and what year is

1:32:21

it? One you can yell into

1:32:24

a picture of him. I shower.

1:32:26

No. There's no. Biggest win was

1:32:28

1977 Australian Open Champion. Okay, so

1:32:30

look up how Vitis Gariolitis died.

1:32:32

Now, we'll look that up. I'm

1:32:34

sitting in a room in Las

1:32:36

Vegas about three or four weeks

1:32:38

ago at the building and home

1:32:40

convention. And I'm talking to different

1:32:43

guys who come in and they

1:32:45

go, some guys make doors and

1:32:47

windows and some guys make cabinets

1:32:49

and some guys make flooring and

1:32:51

you talk to them and I

1:32:53

go, I'm going to build a

1:32:55

house in Nevada and we're going

1:32:57

to build a house in Nevada

1:33:00

and we're going to do a

1:33:02

showhouse and we're going to do

1:33:04

a showhouse and get your product

1:33:06

in it and we're going to

1:33:08

get your product in. Well, I

1:33:10

know everything. So it's easy for

1:33:12

me to talk to them about

1:33:14

whatever it is they're making, whatever

1:33:17

their product is. So there's like

1:33:19

50 something year old guy like

1:33:21

he comes in and he sits

1:33:23

down and I go, what are

1:33:25

you guys doing? I go, well,

1:33:27

we do smoke detectors and carbon

1:33:29

monoxide detectors. Vedas died at age

1:33:31

40, improperly installed propane heater for

1:33:34

the swimming pool. He was staying

1:33:36

in a guest house at a

1:33:38

friend's house, went to a friend's

1:33:40

house and and... and used the

1:33:42

guest house and he died asleep

1:33:44

in the guest house of some

1:33:46

rich family because they had carbon

1:33:48

dioxide wasn't they didn't have their

1:33:51

propane pool heater or something was

1:33:53

fucked up and it went into

1:33:55

the guest house. Oh, by the

1:33:57

way, if a high-profile rich white

1:33:59

guy dies in your fucking guest

1:34:01

house and you're rich, you got

1:34:03

to douse him with vodka and

1:34:05

drag him out to the pool

1:34:08

and just draw a pool because

1:34:10

it's, that's how we found it

1:34:12

because you're going to get the

1:34:14

shit suit out of you by

1:34:16

his family, right? Yeah. I mean,

1:34:18

all you do is I guess

1:34:20

Venus had a few pops. They

1:34:22

may have just spell under the

1:34:25

pool at night, but yeah, but

1:34:27

if it's carbon monoxide You're getting

1:34:29

your ass sued off, right? There's

1:34:31

there's always going to be something

1:34:33

where somebody told you there could

1:34:35

be an issue and it wasn't

1:34:37

properly ventilated But you didn't fix

1:34:39

it, you know, whatever that is

1:34:42

all right. So this guy comes

1:34:44

in And he goes, I go,

1:34:46

what do you do? We're meeting

1:34:48

in the building the building the

1:34:50

building show and he goes we

1:34:52

do carbon monoxide testers and I

1:34:54

go oh man. Yeah Yeah, you

1:34:56

don't want to end up like

1:34:59

v to scariolitis and he goes

1:35:01

who? I go, really, there's one

1:35:03

dude who died, one guy, one

1:35:05

guy, one guy who died because

1:35:07

he didn't have your product in,

1:35:09

he got posters of him like

1:35:11

in your showroom and he's like,

1:35:13

I don't know what that is.

1:35:16

And I'm like... You

1:35:18

should know who beat a scary

1:35:20

lightest is a because he was

1:35:22

he won the Australian Open number

1:35:24

one, but number two he died

1:35:26

of carbon monoxide poison Yeah, he's

1:35:29

like the Michael Jordan of carbon

1:35:31

monoxide. Yes, that's what I said.

1:35:33

He was like you were there

1:35:35

I was like what you want

1:35:37

is you want you you need

1:35:39

it's it's like You

1:35:42

need a poster child for something.

1:35:44

It's like when that kid got

1:35:46

AIDS from the blood transfusion and

1:35:48

all of a sudden they became

1:35:50

a poster child for this and

1:35:52

he got a lot of that

1:35:55

rejuvenated the whole movement, you know?

1:35:57

All right, anyway. I'm just saying,

1:35:59

look, I don't expect these guys

1:36:01

in the booth to know who

1:36:03

beat a scary lightest. But if

1:36:05

they were in their 50s and

1:36:08

they sold carbon monoxide detectors, I

1:36:10

would. That's all. Did you give

1:36:12

the guy the tip and now

1:36:14

he knows and that? It was

1:36:16

him and his partner. Yeah. They

1:36:19

were trying to sell me on

1:36:21

their product and I was like,

1:36:23

we're not doing any of this

1:36:25

until we look up fetus cariolitis.

1:36:27

Like, I'm not going along with

1:36:29

this. Oh, look at them. Good

1:36:32

looking, dude. Died at 40. You

1:36:34

know, you're your tennis champion, you

1:36:36

know, you're in fantastic shape. Damn.

1:36:38

But like I said, just went

1:36:40

to bed in the guest house.

1:36:43

Turn on the heater. Went to

1:36:45

bed. That's how horrible that is.

1:36:47

All right. We got our next

1:36:49

guest waiting over there on Zoom,

1:36:51

Adam B. Coleman. So I'm going

1:36:53

to bid a due to you

1:36:56

two. Nick, always great to see

1:36:58

you, my friend. Great to be

1:37:00

here. I'm very glad things are

1:37:02

working out for you. Born Young

1:37:04

is the name of the Stand-up

1:37:07

Special and dates as well, nickthoon.com.

1:37:09

Take quick break. Be right back

1:37:11

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1:40:01

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1:40:03

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1:40:05

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1:40:07

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1:40:10

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1:40:12

a good weekend You can

1:40:14

leave us a message at

1:40:16

888 634 1 7 4

1:40:18

4 Well Adam B Coleman

1:40:20

is joining us via Zoom's

1:40:22

got a book out the

1:40:24

children we left behind how

1:40:27

Western culture rationalizes wait is

1:40:29

that the right word? Yeah,

1:40:31

rationalizes family separation and ignores

1:40:33

the pain of child neglect.

1:40:35

It is out as we

1:40:37

speak. Good to see Adam.

1:40:39

Thank you for having me

1:40:41

honest. Nice to meet you.

1:40:44

Yeah, so specifically, it's really

1:40:46

the destruction of the black

1:40:48

nuclear family is the root

1:40:50

of all problems for and

1:40:52

and and It's an equal

1:40:54

opportunity destroyer. It will destroy

1:40:56

any culture regardless of the

1:40:59

color your skin. The families

1:41:01

that stay together do the

1:41:03

best, whatever you are, and

1:41:05

white people don't have the

1:41:07

market cornered on that. We've

1:41:09

got a 50% failing grade

1:41:11

on that as well, and

1:41:13

that's why Asians and Jews

1:41:16

and others, Nigerians are above

1:41:18

us. Yeah,

1:41:20

I mean just as you were

1:41:22

saying it's not just one particular

1:41:25

group. That's why I I wanted

1:41:27

to point out Western culture It's

1:41:29

not just the United States. It's

1:41:31

the United Kingdom. It's other Western

1:41:34

nations that are facing Family separation

1:41:36

issues It's just that United States

1:41:38

is number one in United Kingdom

1:41:40

is number two But the family

1:41:43

separation issue is very personal to

1:41:45

me because that's that's my childhood

1:41:47

story I wanted to use my

1:41:49

story as an example what happens

1:41:52

The obvious is someone who gets

1:41:54

into crime, you know, breaks into

1:41:56

your house, you look at their

1:41:58

history and they come from foster

1:42:01

care, they come from dysfunction. But

1:42:03

there are... lot who are suffering

1:42:05

in silence. You don't know that

1:42:07

they're going through these things and

1:42:10

the dysfunction turns out to be

1:42:12

things that maybe it's not illegal,

1:42:14

but it is slowly destroying our

1:42:16

society. Yes, so every time I

1:42:19

hear a person who claims to

1:42:21

represent the black community talk about

1:42:23

having an honest conversation about what's

1:42:25

going on in the black community,

1:42:28

they seem to miss this one.

1:42:30

topic. They talk about systemic racism

1:42:32

and everything under the sun, environmental

1:42:34

racism, just COVID racism. And I've

1:42:37

been, obviously, I've been yelling about

1:42:39

the whole family angle for, since

1:42:41

I've, for 30 years into a

1:42:44

microphone, and you just, you basically

1:42:46

get called a racist. If you

1:42:48

do that, and politicians stay away

1:42:50

from it, but it is insane

1:42:53

that they're working on everything else,

1:42:55

but they're working on the cause

1:42:57

of the problem. Yeah,

1:43:01

I mean I have a question

1:43:03

are they actually working on something

1:43:05

else or are they just deviating

1:43:07

about it? But the reason why

1:43:09

nothing changes is because like you

1:43:12

said the root of all of

1:43:14

this comes from some sort of

1:43:16

family dysfunction and it just becomes

1:43:18

Especially when we talk about black

1:43:20

Americans I've been saying that it

1:43:23

becomes a normal cultural aspect. I

1:43:25

use my wife as an example.

1:43:27

She grew up in bedside Brooklyn

1:43:29

in her entire neighborhood Every family

1:43:31

had basically no father in the

1:43:34

home except for one and they

1:43:36

were from the Caribbean. So for

1:43:38

her, it was normal. You know,

1:43:40

she grew up without her father

1:43:42

as well and no one questioned

1:43:44

it. And this is part of

1:43:47

the problem. That's like a microcosm.

1:43:49

If you talk about black Americans

1:43:51

in certain places where it becomes

1:43:53

normal, but what I'm seeing is

1:43:55

that it's becoming normal throughout all

1:43:58

of America where every person I

1:44:00

come in contact with knows someone

1:44:02

who's dealing with family separation. whether

1:44:04

it's through divorce or whether it's

1:44:06

through single parenthood, no marriage situation.

1:44:09

Well, as I would always say,

1:44:11

and I used to do a

1:44:13

show called Love Line and we

1:44:15

talked a lot of troubled people

1:44:17

back in the day, and I

1:44:19

would say talking to all these

1:44:22

troubled people, I go, look, you

1:44:24

can talk about... prison reform, you

1:44:26

can talk about defund the police,

1:44:28

you can talk about school and

1:44:30

vouchers and school choice, you can

1:44:33

talk about crime, you can talk

1:44:35

about suicide, you can talk about

1:44:37

everything that, every ill of our

1:44:39

society, every single thing, it all

1:44:41

stems from this thing, the family.

1:44:43

And so the family is the

1:44:46

hub. and then the rest are

1:44:48

the spokes that just go away

1:44:50

from the hub in many many

1:44:52

different directions and but it all

1:44:54

comes back to the hub and

1:44:57

if we would focus on the

1:44:59

hub like you guys want to

1:45:01

talk about more funding for after-school

1:45:03

special after-school activities or free lunches

1:45:05

or programs where the parks stay

1:45:08

open until midnight and there's security

1:45:10

there for these kids that don't

1:45:12

have a place to go are

1:45:14

feeding the kids during the summer

1:45:16

time when they're not at school

1:45:18

because they don't have food that

1:45:21

they can eat and I like

1:45:23

all or we can just talk

1:45:25

about the family we can fix

1:45:27

that family up and then we

1:45:29

have to worry about the crime

1:45:32

and the poverty and the desperation.

1:45:35

Yeah, exactly. You know, this is

1:45:37

the difference between talking about supplements

1:45:39

and replacements, right? You want after

1:45:42

school, after school type of programs,

1:45:44

and you want better this and

1:45:46

better that? Those are supplemental. They're

1:45:48

not replacements for a proper structured

1:45:50

home. Just in the situation we

1:45:52

talk about education, education. Obviously it's

1:45:54

terrible for multitude of reasons, especially

1:45:56

in the public education space. But

1:45:58

at the end of the day,

1:46:00

where are these kids coming from?

1:46:02

Are they coming from a dysfunctional

1:46:04

home? Are they coming from a

1:46:06

dysfunctional home? Are they coming from

1:46:08

a home where the single mother

1:46:10

is working long hours, working multiple

1:46:13

jobs to take care of the

1:46:15

kids? And by the time she

1:46:17

comes home, she can't study with

1:46:19

their children. She's not focused on

1:46:21

it because she can't. She has

1:46:23

so much pressure on her. These

1:46:25

are unfair circumstances for her to

1:46:27

be in. to try to up,

1:46:29

try to satisfy every single need

1:46:31

of the home. So we have

1:46:33

to kind of look at that

1:46:35

bigger picture of the home, because

1:46:37

everything else, you can have all

1:46:39

the programs you want. You can

1:46:42

reform all these things that you

1:46:44

want, but if the root of

1:46:46

it is spoiled, then everything else

1:46:48

will follow suit. Yeah, and I

1:46:50

guess everyone knows it. It's a

1:46:52

third rail for politicians, so they

1:46:54

never get near it. Democrats especially,

1:46:56

they just, we need more funding,

1:46:58

you know, we need to get

1:47:00

them tablets and laptop computers and

1:47:02

stuff. It's like, look, if it's

1:47:04

chaos at home, it's not about

1:47:06

technology. It's not about funding. Everything

1:47:08

for them is funding. We just

1:47:10

need more money so we can

1:47:13

fix this problem. But the people

1:47:15

that irk me the most, and

1:47:17

it's not really the Al Sharptons

1:47:19

and the Jesse Jackson Junior, it's

1:47:21

not really the race hustlers are

1:47:23

just... Race hustling they're they're getting

1:47:25

paid like they're doing what they're

1:47:27

doing. That's their job It's it's

1:47:29

kind of sad that that's a

1:47:31

job race hustling To me the

1:47:33

sad part is when? Biden becomes

1:47:35

a race hustler and Obama becomes

1:47:37

a race hustler and LeBron James

1:47:39

becomes a race hustler and Oprah

1:47:42

becomes a race hustler like I

1:47:44

feel these are very powerful cultural

1:47:46

people Michelle Obama they could start

1:47:48

saying something about on this subject

1:47:50

and they never do it's just

1:47:52

more discussion about a racist society

1:47:54

and by the way If I

1:47:56

listen to them and I was

1:47:58

young and black, I wouldn't even

1:48:00

try, according to what they're saying.

1:48:02

But are you as disappointed as

1:48:04

I am in these people because

1:48:06

they're in this position and could

1:48:08

really make a profound difference, I

1:48:11

feel? I mean, I am, but

1:48:13

at this point, I don't really

1:48:15

expect them to do much of

1:48:17

anything. I think at the end

1:48:19

of the day, yes, there are

1:48:21

certain figures who are in the

1:48:23

public eye. who can help to

1:48:25

shift the conversation or to at

1:48:27

least bring things up like what

1:48:29

we're trying to do here. We're

1:48:31

trying to talk about these things

1:48:33

so we can actually get people

1:48:35

towards an actual solution. But at

1:48:37

the end of the day, I

1:48:39

think it comes down to people

1:48:42

are afraid of being accountable. See,

1:48:44

if you say that the issue

1:48:46

is within your home, that means

1:48:48

that you're the one responsible for

1:48:50

it. Not some Republican, not some

1:48:52

Democrat you are. And you have

1:48:54

to look yourself in the mirror

1:48:56

and ask yourself, what did you

1:48:58

do to ruin your family? Did

1:49:00

you make poor decisions? You know,

1:49:02

why are your kids dysfunctional? And

1:49:04

then what happens is, what we

1:49:06

don't want to look at ourselves,

1:49:08

we blame our kids. We put

1:49:11

our kids into some sort of

1:49:13

home because they're too rambunctious. We

1:49:15

give them drugs because they're just

1:49:17

too much for us. I can't

1:49:19

handle them. There's something wrong with

1:49:21

them. And I can't figure out

1:49:23

why. And I can't figure out.

1:49:25

or maybe not raising them, you're

1:49:27

the one who is responsible for

1:49:29

the behavior and children are reacting

1:49:31

to their environment. So if they're

1:49:33

coming from dysfunction, you cannot be

1:49:35

surprised when they're acting dysfunctional. And

1:49:37

I think that's the root of

1:49:39

this, parental selfishness, the unwillingness to

1:49:42

be accountable for their behavior. They

1:49:44

don't want to look at themselves

1:49:46

because they don't like what they

1:49:48

see in the mirror. Yeah, and

1:49:50

also, as a society, we're enabling

1:49:52

this behavior financially and morally. where

1:49:54

we've decided there's no more judgment

1:49:56

going on. There used to be

1:49:58

a lot of judging going on

1:50:00

and judging kind of. keeps people

1:50:02

in the right lane. You know,

1:50:04

people used to go to airports

1:50:06

and put a blazer on with

1:50:08

a tie, and now they're showing

1:50:11

up in their pajamas because we

1:50:13

stopped judging. You know, we just

1:50:15

went, you can't judge. And, you

1:50:17

know, you got your baby mamas

1:50:19

and everything else, and there's no

1:50:21

more judgment. And listen, judgment works.

1:50:23

And I'll tell you why. I

1:50:25

mean, look at something. You take

1:50:27

a subject like... smoking. If you

1:50:29

go, there's a restaurant. It's a

1:50:31

funny thing, but there's a restaurant

1:50:33

that I used to go to

1:50:35

quite often. It was like a

1:50:37

diner. And they had all these

1:50:40

old-timey black and white pictures of

1:50:42

all the old celebrities from the

1:50:44

40s and the 50s. And every

1:50:46

single one of them that had

1:50:48

a lit cigarette for their headshot.

1:50:50

Now, it's not like 85% of

1:50:52

actors smoked in the 40s. Somebody

1:50:54

handed them a cigarette and said,

1:50:56

hey, if you're gonna take a

1:50:58

picture, women. It'll be like a

1:51:00

23-year-old starless, she's having a cigarette

1:51:02

by her head, you know? So

1:51:04

it used to be glamorous. And

1:51:06

then we decided it was bad

1:51:08

for you. And then we had

1:51:11

a campaign. We waged a war

1:51:13

against smoking. And now, if a

1:51:15

celebrity lights a cigarette, they don't

1:51:17

do it inside the club. They

1:51:19

walk outside the club and they

1:51:21

hide behind the dumpster. They literally

1:51:23

crouched down behind a dumpster and

1:51:25

smoke, hoping nobody sees their shameful

1:51:27

behavior. So what happened to smoking?

1:51:29

Well, it was glorified, and then

1:51:31

we made it shameful, and smoking

1:51:33

us down 61%. Okay, we could

1:51:35

do that with any subject. We

1:51:37

could do it with having kids

1:51:40

out of wedlock, being single moms,

1:51:42

taking welfare, and things of that

1:51:44

nature. We could wage a war.

1:51:46

Same thing we did with smoking,

1:51:48

with this. but we won't judge.

1:51:50

And I think we should go

1:51:52

back to judging. chapter in the

1:51:54

book called Socially Comfortable Terrible Parents.

1:51:56

And it's the idea that someone

1:51:58

can abandon their kids, someone can

1:52:00

abuse their children, can scream at

1:52:02

their kids, they can do all

1:52:04

these things and you know about

1:52:06

it, yet they get to come

1:52:09

to your house and everybody's comfortable.

1:52:11

So I do think that there

1:52:13

is a lack of shame, just

1:52:15

like what you're saying. We have

1:52:17

to be able to shame these

1:52:19

things. We have to be able

1:52:21

to call these things out. But

1:52:23

I think some people refuse to

1:52:25

shame because they don't want to

1:52:27

be ashamed either. You know, it's