Episode Transcript
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0:01
I've heard, we're at the height
0:03
of our powers, the top of
0:06
tallest the towers, the stairs. We'll
0:08
never stop like that. And it
0:10
can't trust that we will do
0:12
a thing much, until it's turning
0:15
out just like a place. And
0:17
we sell wrong. All this long,
0:19
but on road, Joe is strong,
0:21
and unless I'm wrong, and I'm
0:24
not, we're at the height of
0:26
our power. You
0:44
you guys are, are ready to head
0:46
out. rollie bought, um, Navy SEAL's pet rollie bought is bot
0:48
is outside ready to take you
0:50
guys on to your next adventure. next adventure.
0:52
And Navy, your phone phone
0:54
starts ringing guys, I gotta on
0:57
guys. I gotta take this. I pull
0:59
it out of my pocket, I I pull
1:01
it out of my pocket, I brush the spaghetti off
1:03
of it. That's right, I got the spaghetti in
1:05
my in my It was a mess down there. I had
1:07
no idea what I was doing. what I
1:09
idea When you
1:11
answer the phone, the phone, it is a a
1:13
little hard you hear a lot
1:15
of background noise? noise. You hear,
1:17
um, like, crates being being smashed
1:20
in the carvary and
1:22
things being being broke. Hey, uh,
1:24
hey guys, um, carver? What's going on?
1:26
on? You sound distressed. Uh,
1:29
yeah, I, yeah, I, I
1:31
messed up, uh, hey, uh, so, uh,
1:33
and, hold on, and he, like,
1:36
you hear a guy, like, oof, as on,
1:38
ah! And he, like,
1:40
you hear a guy, like,
1:42
oof, as he, like,
1:44
throws him, and you hear,
1:46
like, punches he's, uh, stuff, I
1:48
didn't just take heh, I didn't
1:51
just take music, there's me
1:53
see, there's some guys here
1:55
wanting to take, um, um,
1:57
um, I'm I think I think
1:59
I'm, I'm in Trump! the the goes goes dead.
2:01
I told him not to told him not
2:03
to mess with the we Carver on
2:06
Find My Do we have My Friends? Friends
2:08
a really good a really good question. have
2:10
have everyone I care about on Fine
2:12
My, so I can make sure
2:14
they're safe constantly. sure they're safe. Find my Fur I
2:16
don't know. I a different app and
2:18
it's cool. No, everybody has has Pet Finder.
2:21
We all We all ID
2:23
ID chips. Uh-huh. You do.
2:26
see if you see if you can
2:28
access it. it. Alright. right. It
2:31
should be a be a canonical thing any
2:33
time one of our uses a
2:35
phone, phone, we should have to
2:37
roll dice, because they're not made us
2:40
necessarily. Well, and also, I don't know if you've
2:42
ever and also, to I don't know if
2:44
you've ever tried to use Find My Friends
2:46
and stuff, but. ain't The accuracy
2:48
ain't. That's not true. One time I not
2:50
true one time I found Rachel
2:52
in a same target I the saying, was in,
2:54
couldn't find her, loaded up Find
2:56
I was like, was like, she's Northwest. my
2:58
wife at the at the target. My wife.
3:01
Could we use our practice points
3:03
to give ourselves a new ability
3:06
or Give ourselves a new ability or something? do
3:08
that. Could we be able to use
3:10
the phone the phone? Well, okay, this this
3:12
is silly. It's a phone, you
3:14
can use it. use it. Okay, thank
3:16
so find my My kicks on.
3:19
The phone is registering as being
3:21
as the car out the car. Oh, well
3:23
well, that makes sense. That's where
3:25
he like where whatever. Yeah, whatever. Yeah,
3:27
that's actually that tracks pretty good for me. We
3:29
need to, to. Is this this situation all
3:31
resolved? Here, did we take
3:34
care, no loose ends? Oh, I
3:36
think I think all loose ends. all
3:38
wrapped up. up all tangled untangled and
3:40
up neatly. I'm actually
3:42
pretty beat from taking out like
3:44
50 dudes and then cleaning
3:46
up the mess we made and
3:48
now it seems like we're
3:50
gonna have to go get into
3:52
seems like we're gonna have to go get into so
3:54
I'm a little beat and so I'm I'm
3:56
a little beat But let's well I'll I'll drive if
3:59
you want to to you a quick
4:01
schooze in before we head out? You
4:03
don't want to be talking. No, he
4:05
sounded pretty pressed. We should get over
4:07
there. Where's our sensible sedan? Well, I
4:10
think that Dean still has this sedan,
4:12
but you guys took the Rollie bot
4:14
over here. Okay, so you could just
4:16
let him drive for you while you
4:19
sneeze in the back. I would love
4:21
that. Is there some sort of gyroscopic
4:23
like saddle on this guy that we
4:25
ride around in or we've never really
4:28
talked about how we ride do we
4:30
climb inside him and roll like a
4:32
ball or like because he's a sphere
4:34
You know, there's a there's a gyroscopic
4:36
center that you can like huddle up
4:39
in and chill out. So you're not
4:41
just spinning around like a tumble dryer.
4:43
Cool. I like that cool. Let's go.
4:45
I mean a hamster ball would be
4:48
appropriate appropriate But if you want to
4:50
roll around like you're in a tumble
4:52
dryer Griffin, I can make that happen.
4:54
Maybe it could be like, it could
4:57
be like the thing that they ride
4:59
around in in the new bad Jurassic
5:01
World movies, or you get in the
5:03
sphere, then you don't, you don't move
5:06
with the ball rolls. Griffin what kind
5:08
of say yeah for for future reference
5:10
as we expand more into Hollywood I
5:12
we don't need to just take these
5:15
these one-word swines an entire franchise is
5:17
ruling our participation out of the good
5:19
boy yeah no you don't have to
5:21
just like drive by shove drastic world
5:24
into a ditch no watch his face
5:26
just like a race us from his
5:28
contong you're right it's like it's like
5:30
so there's no call yeah I think
5:33
not remembering the guy's name. Colin, that's
5:35
a Colin Trevor, not Trevor, what's his
5:37
phrase. Too late, you didn't remember at
5:39
first. We're not getting in these flags.
5:41
Okay, cool. Let's hop in our, hop
5:44
in the ball and zoom, baby. Do
5:46
we have to drive this guy or
5:48
does he, does he drive himself? Oh,
5:50
this, this guy, self-driving. But in a
5:53
good way. I'm glad you
5:55
have a definitely safe way. Okay,
5:57
cool. to listen
6:00
to some to some ASMR.
6:03
Absolutely outrageous. Absolutely
6:05
outrageous. But it's awfully
6:07
soft. soft moon reading.
6:09
I never doubted you for a
6:12
doubted you for a
6:14
second, I I knew. I knew that
6:16
there was. And do. Sorry, Sorry, hear
6:18
hear you. noise canceling. Whoa! Doubt
6:21
would have been a waste
6:23
of time. I of straight to
6:25
certainty. straight to That's beautiful, Justin. beautiful, Justin.
6:27
Yeah. I had no room for
6:29
equivocation. I knew what was was going.
6:32
You reach the carvary and the layout is as
6:34
you remember the clear signs
6:36
of a fight are present. know
6:38
you You you have the
6:40
training ground in the middle,
6:42
but things are broken, things
6:45
are smashed. There's, you know, maybe
6:47
a couple of scorches here there,
6:49
the desk is flipped over,
6:51
over that kind Do we have
6:53
a sense a entering whether or
6:56
not the Carvery has been
6:58
vacated Or we, is still an
7:00
active threat scene? scene. Mm. So, cursory
7:02
glance is, that's all I'm saying. Do we hear That's
7:04
all I'm saying. Do we hear
7:06
people no. me? No, no, no. don't
7:09
punch me there! of far as
7:11
sound of fighting, we sure, we know,
7:13
that's the ow, ow. Not again. Don't
7:15
punch me there. me there. Yeah, I thought
7:17
I thought we established no punching
7:19
there. there. No, upon upon entering the building,
7:22
your glance is that it that it
7:24
been cleared out that the fight
7:26
has been over for some time. some
7:28
time. I'm gonna, I'm gonna start rooting around. Didn't you have like
7:30
a little desk Didn't you have the desk
7:32
here at the back of the
7:35
room that we were like trying to
7:37
get desk Yeah, been flipped over, but
7:39
it is still there. but it is still
7:41
there. Crud. there anything? I don't know.
7:43
know. Is
7:45
there anything around the desk
7:48
area would would suggest kind of
7:50
of like... Can I tell if
7:52
anything was taken from the
7:54
desk, right? from the whatever right? Documents or
7:56
keeps in their desk? keeps in
7:59
their desk. Absolutely. Give me... you know you
8:01
know, looking around, check with a big old bug guys
8:03
failure the biggest one two three if we were the biggest
8:05
C two, three. have If two, we were
8:07
playing all my I oh just lost
8:09
all my money. And my it
8:11
feels like right now, yeah. have been pulled you
8:13
can definitely tell, like, the drawers have been
8:15
pulled out desk things have been rifled through.
8:17
Like, the desk wasn't just flipped over,
8:19
right? the drawers wouldn't have fallen
8:22
out this way. are pulled drawers were pulled
8:24
out and things were rifled through, but
8:26
you can't really get a sense of
8:28
what was taken. taken But you do very give
8:30
the idea that it was idea through
8:32
it was someone messed up the desk someone
8:34
messed up the desk. They really, really
8:36
really, really Pull it up crazy.
8:38
out and we crazy on on it. The
8:40
desk, they got really, they they got
8:43
real, they got the desk So
8:45
bad. to, that was, maybe their to,
8:47
that was maybe their main
8:49
objective here was to just
8:51
wreck this desk. Whatever they
8:53
were looking for, we can assume
8:55
it's not there anymore, right? not I
8:57
don't see Carver right? Well, I So it's
8:59
possible that Carver is what they were
9:01
after. it's we're only on one floor.
9:03
Should we check out the other
9:05
floors just to see? only on one
9:07
floor. Should we check out the
9:09
other floors just to see? Um, I'm
9:11
I'm gonna shut off the
9:13
lights. Stay still. I'm gonna shut off the
9:16
lights. Ooh. Okay. and
9:18
I'm gonna activate my my nocturno sense. In In
9:20
a darkened environment and with not
9:22
an active in active peril, can use use and
9:24
chemical detection to understand more about
9:27
his more about enemies, et cetera. enemies, I'm
9:29
reading that text, even though I wrote
9:31
it. So it's not like, not I'm I guess
9:33
I'm trying to imbue it with
9:35
some sort of power by reading it.
9:37
by reading it. And sounded like it was
9:40
from a thick booklet. it was from a
9:42
thick, no, but it's just from a
9:44
eye. So but it's just now that I've
9:46
got it darkened, yeah, I can just like, activate
9:48
my senses to see what clues I can
9:50
pull out of this environment. out this is
9:52
there anything in particular you're looking
9:54
for or just like in you can
9:56
smell? looking for, or just I want to harness
9:58
the smell of sense? Smells. a
10:00
lot of chemical of that are
10:03
gonna be released in are a
10:05
combat scenario and usually I'm pretty
10:07
good combat without a nose at
10:09
being able to tell I'm pretty good
10:11
Even Okay. Yeah, give me at
10:13
me a roll with your to tell
10:15
The Yeah, let me activate that
10:17
Yeah. Would you say? me give a
10:20
roll with your nocturnal sense.
10:22
Yeah. Let me activate
10:25
that 3d8. Mondo move 48
10:27
Not nice. That's three failures in
10:29
one success. one I mean, I mean, that
10:31
sounds like... like... It's pretty bad. It's
10:33
less than good. Yeah, it's like 25. Bad. 25%
10:35
is bad. One, bad. did you take a practice
10:37
did you take a practice I'm really
10:40
thank you, you. gosh, thank You're welcome. Justin
10:42
with a success, with a single
10:44
success, the only thing you're
10:46
able to pick up on, and
10:48
there's pools of water, little
10:50
puddles, you know, little splashes on
10:52
the ground, splashes on the were present
10:54
before. mean, this is a before
10:56
I mean of converted into a
10:58
thing. It's not super protected from
11:01
the elements, not you get it.
11:03
very strong the of like
11:05
but you get a very strong scent of
11:07
like brackish salt water okay there are
11:09
there on the main
11:11
training ground ground Or are they
11:13
they up on the floor with all
11:15
the equipment? Oh, good question. question. Okay, so if you
11:17
at if you look at the
11:19
two maps, right, floor has all two floors.
11:21
equipment first floor has all the
11:23
training equipment and everything. And then
11:25
there's like a grid thing above
11:27
it stuff was like where the lights
11:29
and stuff are. That's where you
11:31
were sneaking around the first time
11:34
you came to the car that everything
11:36
is like is like dangling from and
11:38
everything like that. that. OK, Roger
11:40
is going to access that catwalk
11:42
up there, the grid the grid find
11:44
the spot right above where these
11:46
puddles of of water are if they're any
11:48
clues up there the clues up in the
11:50
up in the grid. give me
11:52
give me a looking for you
11:54
roll for around. around just
11:56
two d-eight I don't believe I
11:59
don't believe any trained in
12:01
it. four
12:06
and an eight. Okay, yeah,
12:08
with a mixed success, you
12:10
find some spots along like
12:12
the catwalk and there in
12:14
the middle where there's more
12:16
kind of signs of like
12:18
moisture, maybe like a piece
12:20
of seaweed, but you don't
12:22
find any other particular clues
12:24
to lead you along. But
12:26
what you do all here
12:28
is the carvary door opening
12:31
and the click-clack of sensible,
12:33
hard-sold shoes come in. Uh,
12:36
I turned Jets at the Reddy.
12:38
And you see Intrepid reporter Jay
12:40
Jay August entering into the carvary.
12:42
I love it, the Jets. Sorry.
12:45
Oh, so you guys got the
12:47
call too, huh? Wait. Oh, it's
12:49
you from the night at the
12:51
museum. The movie? No, the night
12:53
we were all at the museum
12:55
together. Oh, right, yeah. People forget.
12:57
It's like half the time at
12:59
the museum at the museum at
13:01
the museum. That's an excellent point,
13:03
yeah, because there's like day at
13:05
the museum and night at the
13:07
museum. What do you get? Hey,
13:09
listen, we would love to catch
13:11
up and chat, but someone really
13:14
jacked up this desk and whatever,
13:16
and they might have jacked up
13:18
Carver too. And we're trying to
13:20
get to the bottom of it.
13:22
Yeah, yeah, can you look at
13:24
this for, you're a reporter, right?
13:26
You see any clues, because I'm
13:28
coming up to dry. Dry is
13:30
a pop pop pop one for.
13:32
It's a pop-up. Well, yeah,
13:35
that is, I didn't want to
13:37
tune my own horn, but I
13:39
discovered some piles of brackish water,
13:41
man. And she kind of looks
13:43
at you, Navy, and she's like,
13:45
are these? Did you? Did I
13:47
make them make water? Did I
13:50
make a mess? No, that's not
13:52
his puddles. You should... You have
13:54
a hydro blaster that you were
13:56
pointed at me when I walked
13:58
in. Were you the... fighting with
14:00
carver? No I may have used
14:02
my thing like when we were
14:05
in here doing our like test
14:07
for glory but no oh no
14:09
that's not me I mean we're
14:11
on the the the carveries sort
14:13
of on the pier right like
14:15
it's on it is ocean side
14:18
if memory serves the warehouse district
14:20
is yes yes okay Let me
14:22
check out, can I do an
14:24
assist on the sort of clues
14:26
we've found so far? Something seems
14:28
off to me. Yeah, go ahead
14:30
and give me with your bug
14:33
eyes. I want to go lick
14:35
the brackish water, see what might...
14:37
We've used all of our other
14:39
senses and taste might be like
14:41
the hot one. Well, as they
14:43
say, you know, taste starts with
14:45
the eyes. So I'm going to
14:48
still let you use your bug
14:50
eyes with this. Sure, sure. Yeah.
14:52
One success. Way better if it
14:54
was too little. Well, huh? I
14:56
was going to say, and you
14:58
get an extra die. Oh, perfect.
15:01
Because of all the clues to
15:03
your collective so far. Well, that's
15:05
four successes then. And it double
15:07
sex. So, with that cowabanga and
15:09
the clues you've collected so far,
15:11
the taste of the brackish water,
15:13
the kelp that you found, and
15:16
the way that these puddles are
15:18
laid out, this is water and
15:20
kelp from an area of the
15:22
kind of bay off of river
15:24
city that you are familiar with.
15:26
This is a, been used as
15:28
like a hideout and been used
15:31
as like a headquarters. for some
15:33
of the like worst villains in
15:35
the ocean that you and the
15:37
royal seals have fought before it.
15:39
But that said, this is surprising
15:41
to you because they almost always
15:44
focus their attacks on stuff based
15:46
in the water. Okay, I mean
15:48
he's a turtle. Which
15:50
is a sort of a
15:52
sort of both walks both
15:54
worlds. He's a tortist to
15:56
be fair. Same thing. Uh,
15:58
I and it's not frick
16:00
yet. you know our audience
16:02
too well. I look up.
16:04
That's Griffin. At. Yeah, find
16:06
me. Don't find me. Uh,
16:08
I look up from the
16:10
brackish water. I think we're
16:12
dealing with the bayside baddies
16:14
here, guys. Oh man, there's
16:16
some of the water students
16:18
in town. True, true. But,
16:20
uh, now we're gonna be
16:22
on my home turf. The
16:24
ocean baby. The salty one.
16:27
and we're gonna be able to
16:29
find him no problem I've had
16:31
to mess up a few of
16:34
these few of these baddies in
16:36
my day they're I mean they're
16:38
wet but you guys look like
16:40
you can handle it well I
16:42
don't know if I can I'm
16:45
not that submergeable you guys what
16:47
am I gonna do you float
16:49
though right well Probably.
16:52
There's one way to find
16:54
out. Do cows float? There's
16:56
only one way to find
16:58
out. I like that attitude,
17:00
mister. Well, it's pretty low-risk
17:02
for me, man. I look
17:04
at Jay-J. Hey, I don't
17:06
know why, but some of
17:08
the bayside baddies, it seems
17:10
like they took Carver. He
17:12
called us to tell us
17:14
that he messed up in
17:16
a panic. Did he call
17:18
you too? Yeah, he called
17:20
me and only talked for
17:22
a second. He said that,
17:25
you know, some ruffians that
17:27
started a kerfuffle, a Donnybrook
17:29
I think you said, and
17:31
had, you know, showed up
17:33
looking for something that he
17:35
had taken and then it
17:37
got cut off. Do you
17:39
think it's the stuff he
17:41
took from the museum? Remind
17:43
me did he just get
17:45
away with his bat that
17:47
first night or did he?
17:49
That's all you saw him
17:51
take. Okay cool. I mean
17:53
I guess maybe they would
17:55
have gone for his bat
17:57
but who would want his
18:00
bat bad enough to kidnap
18:02
him? the base side patties
18:04
come to mind. And you're
18:06
sure the bat's all he
18:08
took. I mean it's always
18:10
on. Sure. Into a thorough
18:12
inventory. There's no checklists involved.
18:14
We'll get to the we'll
18:16
get to the bottom of
18:18
this. What's your relationship with
18:20
Carver? Because I understand why
18:22
he'd call us, we're like
18:24
his best buds and trainees,
18:26
his heirs of adventure, they
18:28
might say, like just justice
18:30
inheritors. But what's- Justice inheritors?
18:32
Oh! Sounds cool. Maybe that's
18:35
a good team name, write
18:37
that down, but what's your-
18:39
What's your relationship with Carver?
18:41
Oh, well, he and the
18:44
other guardians worked really closely
18:46
with my mom, when she
18:49
was a reporter, and he's
18:51
kind of my godfather? Cool.
18:53
I like that. Well, don't
18:56
worry, we'll find him, and
18:58
get him back, and maybe
19:00
you could do a big
19:03
story about, like... inheritors
19:06
of justice come and...
19:08
And you hear from
19:10
the open doorway behind
19:12
her, the only story
19:14
is gonna be about
19:16
you is your obituary.
19:18
And standing in the
19:20
doorway, you see three
19:22
of the bayside baddies.
19:24
I know it. Navy,
19:26
you recognize them as
19:28
eel Patrick Harris. No,
19:30
is that it? Eel
19:32
Patrick Harris. No,
19:34
that's not the name I came
19:36
up. That's not the name I
19:38
came up with. Hey Travis? Uh-huh.
19:41
It is. Own that. Page Master.
19:43
Own that. Stand in a page
19:45
master. Yeah. Your words, your words
19:47
on this side of the veil
19:49
have power. Okay. So, okay. You
19:51
said Eel Patrick Harrison, there he
19:53
lives. Yeah, there's Eel Patrick Harris,
19:55
Hammerned, and Squid Mark. Hold on,
19:57
I need a second. about squid
20:00
mark. I need to write a
20:02
book about squid mark. Hold on.
20:04
Hold on. Hold on. I'm starting
20:06
a new crypto about squid mark.
20:08
They're called squid marks. Okay,
20:11
I'm good. Move on. Well, if
20:13
it isn't, if it isn't, the
20:16
bayside batty's three most sinister invertebrates.
20:18
And my ex-roomakes, Squidmark. Hi, how
20:20
are you, Ben? I can't believe
20:23
you have the nerve to show
20:25
your face in this city against
20:27
Squidmark after you left him with
20:30
all those bills. Me? You're the
20:32
one who wrecked up all of
20:34
the line distance for rolling calls.
20:37
Your girlfriend stayed with us for
20:39
free for a month and she
20:41
left her stinky cooking all over
20:44
the stove. You said that was
20:46
okay. You didn't mind her staying
20:48
with us. Use all the towels
20:51
and I had to drive myself
20:53
with brawnies more times than I.
20:55
It's good for the skin. Don't
20:58
start again with the good for
21:00
the skin. I saw it on
21:03
chicktock. You don't have skin. You
21:05
don't have skin. How dare you.
21:07
Squids don't have skin. It's
21:11
just an at, uh, if you
21:13
wanna... No, I just did his
21:15
kid so thin. Oh, right, okay,
21:17
cool. It's like he doesn't have
21:19
a condition, how dare you? Seems
21:22
like you three are late for
21:24
the party, the party of kidnapping,
21:26
kidnapping party, of our boss. Yeah,
21:28
we was left behind, this is
21:30
hammering, and we was left behind
21:32
to keep an eye on the
21:35
place to make sure nobody followed.
21:37
Okay. Well,
21:40
unfortunately, we didn't follow you guys,
21:42
but we do have to beat
21:44
your butts. Oh. Okay. Because we
21:46
need answers about Carver. I guess
21:48
there's no... We won't actually be
21:50
your butts. No, no, it's just
21:52
we was gonna be your butts.
21:55
Well, okay, can you first tell
21:57
us for Carver with? No. Travis,
21:59
can ask a clarifying question. Yeah.
22:01
Earlier when I said that Carver
22:03
was, I got a look on
22:05
Carver. Uh-huh. What was communicating that
22:07
information to him? Well, that would
22:09
be his phone, Justin. So his
22:12
phone is still here. Yes. Okay,
22:14
have we found that yet? Well,
22:16
a lot of mixed success is
22:18
abound, Justin. Yeah, that's true. But
22:20
I've just now thought to specifically
22:22
look for the phone. Okay, yeah,
22:24
give me a role to look
22:27
for the phone. Can you give
22:29
me a second? What? Can you
22:31
give me a second? I should
22:33
have done something when I got
22:35
here. You need to go to
22:37
the bathroom? Yeah, I'm gonna go
22:39
to the bathroom everywhere. Close your
22:41
eyes. Gross! Close them now! You
22:44
don't have long! You gotta follow
22:46
the etiquette when a battle starts.
22:48
They do kind of like, like
22:50
flinch away and let... Oh, gross!
22:52
A mixed success is on. You
22:54
had a mixed success at bathrooming?
22:56
About half the phone. You see
22:58
the phone. Poop, but no pea.
23:01
You see the phone, but it
23:03
is behind where the batteries are
23:05
kind of like it's been flung
23:07
into a corner. What?
23:09
The devil's split! The devil's split is... The
23:11
devil's blend! The devil's blend is poop and
23:14
no pee. He did a mixed success at
23:16
going to the bathroom so you don't even
23:18
have to stop. The movement that shall not
23:20
be named is the worst one you could
23:22
have poop it up. Oh no. Not like
23:24
this. That's the one where there's no piece
23:27
sounds to hide the plops and there's just
23:29
plops and everyone knows it. Everyone hears the
23:31
plops. And you're not able to relax one
23:33
thing or the other enough to make both
23:35
happen, you know what I mean? Yeah, sure.
23:37
Forget about the third one. Whoa, Justin, we
23:39
don't talk about that. Don't tell kids about
23:42
the third rule. No, don't. That's something they're
23:44
going to have to deal with them. They
23:46
get older. So you see the phone thrown
23:48
into a corner behind where they are. You're
23:50
all over at the desk and searching around.
23:52
Squid Mark steps over to JJ and says,
23:55
Uh, all right. Let I'm a
23:57
big fan. After break. thank
23:59
you so much. so much.
24:01
I'm gonna have to
24:03
take you hostage hostage
24:05
Yeah, no, I know know
24:07
been in the game
24:10
for a while. Whenever
24:12
you're ready. for a while. a
24:14
couple of tentacles and of
24:16
around her shoulders, holding her
24:18
in place. like, kind
24:20
of right, let
24:22
the fight begin. in place. Uh, the
24:25
break. Let the fight la, la, la,
24:27
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24:30
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27:39
right, we're over 70 episodes into our show,
27:41
let's learn everything. So let's do a quick
27:43
progress tech. Have we learned about quantum physics?
27:45
Yes, episode 59. We haven't learned about the
27:47
history of gossip yet, have we? Yes, we
27:49
have. Same episode, actually. Have we talked to
27:51
Tom Scott about his love of roller coasters?
27:53
Episode 64. So how close are we to
27:55
learning everything? Bad news. We still haven't learned
27:57
everything yet. No,
28:00
no, it's no, it's good news as
28:02
well. a still a lot to
28:04
learn. I'm regular Tom Lum. I'm I'm Roper and on
28:06
I'm Caroline Everything, we Learn Everything, we
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28:10
everything else too. And although we
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haven't learned everything yet, I've got
28:14
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28:16
next episode. Join us every other
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or wherever you get podcasts. podcasts. And
29:11
we're back. Hey, Abnemel's fans and other
29:13
people who other people who
29:15
listen for various reasons. I'm
29:17
actually still on my OSHA
29:19
mandated break travel. You had You had
29:22
me take those trash
29:24
cans out so my break
29:26
didn't start until... Okay, I'm
29:28
done. done. Okay. So, currently,
29:30
it is on is of the
29:32
one side of
29:34
the Carvery training grounds
29:36
now broken, and, you know, stuff smashed
29:38
know, thrown and thrown
29:40
apart with detritus, we've
29:42
We've got and and
29:44
and Roger and
29:46
Rollybot on the
29:48
other side. We've
29:50
got we've got hair .O.
29:52
Patrick Harris. eel Patrick
29:54
Harris, eel E .O.
29:56
Patrick Harris, squid mark holding
29:59
J.J. J. August hostage. Cool. is
30:01
going to, he's been quiet this
30:03
whole time just because he was
30:05
being sneaky and not because I
30:07
was playing Eldon Ring while you
30:09
guys were making jokes. Yeah, really?
30:11
Yeah, I should hope not, Clint.
30:13
This is close to a job
30:15
as you have. When last we
30:17
left, Roger, he was up in
30:19
the grid? Has he moved down
30:21
since then or is that still?
30:23
Oh yeah, I think the whole
30:25
time all that discussion was going
30:27
on, he was putting himself in
30:29
position up on the grid and
30:31
he's going to launch himself. and
30:33
do a giant spoon and try
30:35
to land on hammer and head.
30:37
Horns first. Oh! For the listeners
30:39
at home, dad, will you describe
30:41
what a phone looks like? A
30:43
phone basically is a very awkward
30:45
looking dive in the pool and
30:47
it's like a jack knife that
30:49
doesn't fully open up. So you're
30:51
making basically an inverted V when
30:53
you hit the water. So if
30:55
you do it right, the first
30:57
thing that hits the water will
30:59
be your face rapidly followed by
31:02
your feet. and if you are
31:04
in the, you know, with the
31:06
legs positioned correctly, you are not
31:08
going to hurt yourself in a
31:10
in a personal way. So the
31:12
food in this case being a
31:14
shortened version of typhoon. typhoon. Yes.
31:16
Hensing to the mouthwater generated by
31:18
the private. And which I know,
31:20
it's a dive we invented as
31:22
far as I know. It sounds
31:24
like a dive you did wrong
31:26
once and then gave a name
31:28
to to make it seem like
31:30
you did it on purpose. That
31:32
is the nature of invention, Trevor.
31:34
That's beautiful father. Now dad, you're
31:36
doing this onto HammerNen? Yes. Okay.
31:38
You are a beefy boy. Quite
31:40
literally. Yeah. Give me, let's see,
31:42
I'm going to say because of
31:44
your positioning, that this is going
31:46
to be an attack with 3D8.
31:48
So give me that attack role.
31:52
I'm hitting it and nothing is
31:54
happening. I see it. Four, four,
31:57
six. Okay. Not our best roles
31:59
today, fan. Well with attack,
32:01
it's just about damage. Oh yes, that's
32:03
true. So that is going to be
32:06
your attack roll to do damage to
32:08
him. I'm going to have you roll
32:10
in a second to see how well
32:12
you land. And how well you do
32:15
it. But he is not wearing armor.
32:17
He's a shark man in pants. So
32:19
you're going to hit him for one
32:21
damage. And now
32:23
I'd like you to roll, you've
32:26
just jumped 10 feet off the
32:28
ground onto a large shark man,
32:30
horns first. So go ahead. Like
32:33
there's another way of doing it,
32:35
of course he's going horns first.
32:37
Of course. So give me, I'm
32:40
looking to see what you have
32:42
here. You're a dancer, so give
32:45
me a 3D8 role to see
32:47
how well you land. 716.
32:52
Ah, okay. Full success. Two
32:55
successes there. So you land,
32:57
you roll away, he staggers.
32:59
What? What was that? Hey,
33:02
that was a cool man.
33:04
What was that about? Ow!
33:06
That's the sound of fighting.
33:09
I mean, that's what it
33:11
sounds like. Don't hear me
33:13
there. We've established that, right?
33:16
That's fighting. I'm
33:18
like right here at the end
33:20
of the conveyor belt that proved
33:23
so problematic for us on our
33:25
journey the opposite way across this
33:27
obstacle course. I would like to
33:29
turn it on to its highest
33:32
setting and jump on it and
33:34
sort of assume the position to
33:36
blast forward with this flashback and
33:38
just kind of launch myself at
33:41
sound barrier breaking speeds towards a
33:43
squid mark. Okay, excellent. You see
33:45
like just some wires have come
33:47
loose in the the fracas that
33:50
occurred earlier. So all you really
33:52
need to do is twist those
33:54
together. Yeah. it's not a complicated
33:57
fix, but we'll see how it
33:59
goes in the turning of it
34:01
on. Okay. So give me a
34:03
2D6. Oh, this stinks, I didn't
34:06
think. I don't think I'd actually
34:08
have to. Ah, farts. One in
34:10
a four. Shoot, dang. So it
34:12
does work, and it does turn
34:15
on, and it's going super fast,
34:17
but you don't get a chance
34:19
to assume the position. Like you're
34:21
kind of hunched over it, and
34:24
it launches you forward. Yeah, so
34:26
like if you try to jump
34:28
onto a moving treadmill, you just
34:30
kind of end up rolling and
34:33
getting thrown backwards while on your
34:35
spine. But this one is moving
34:37
towards Squidmark. Yeah, so I just
34:39
have to be launched gracefully. Well,
34:42
I'm going to roll to see
34:44
if he avoids you. Oh, okay.
34:47
Get out of your squid, Mark.
34:50
Get out of your squid, Mark,
34:52
with these cheat rolls. Cheat dice.
34:54
Well, it was rolled, it was
34:57
rolled in, in, rule 20, Griffin.
34:59
I know, I'm saying eight, five.
35:01
He hacked the system. He jumps
35:04
out of the way and is
35:06
able to keep a hold on
35:08
JJ August, and you are launched
35:11
in a bit of a heat
35:13
next to him. Hammer Ned is
35:15
gonna take a swing at you,
35:18
Roger. Oh, and he did very
35:20
badly. He rolled two, three, four,
35:22
and misses you completely. Whoo! Whiff!
35:25
What would you like to do?
35:27
Squid, Mark. I thought you were
35:29
past this... Crime? Really? I love
35:32
crime. You... I know that, but
35:34
you said you're going to try
35:36
to go clean, man. What happened?
35:39
I did go clean for a
35:41
while, and it just didn't pay
35:43
as well. Oh, they
35:46
say that, man. You knew that. Debbie
35:48
left me, man. Oh, no. All right.
35:50
Okay. I mean, she'll be back in
35:52
a week, but... Well, come on then.
35:55
Just trying to... are you trying to
35:57
give me? I was gonna let you
35:59
punch me in the stomach. No, I'm
36:02
just finding a lot of time on
36:04
my hand. She's been gone a couple
36:06
days now and... All right, well you're
36:09
just being a dingus about this. I'm
36:11
gonna drop kick him in the chest.
36:14
You're across the room, but the
36:16
conveyor belt is on. And you
36:18
could... Yeah, I'm going to use
36:20
the conveyor belt to build up
36:23
speed, and then I'm going to
36:25
give him the full, slippery. I
36:27
love... There's no result of this
36:29
that isn't pretty funny. After I
36:31
just tried the same thing, it
36:33
ended up eating dirt. This, but
36:36
this time, Grimett, I have lubrication
36:38
on my side. That's true? Gross?
36:40
Okay. It's only gross. You can't
36:42
say that when there's cancelism. You
36:44
gotta stop. Just saying gross, no.
36:46
Okay, delicious. So, um, Justin, using
36:49
anything as a drum, right? In
36:51
this case, you are the melee
36:53
weapon being improvised. Yeah, that's two
36:55
successes. Oh, wait, it's a two
36:57
matching success. Two matching success. Yeah,
36:59
you're gonna slam into him. This
37:02
is how well you use the
37:04
conveyor belt, right? You've got yourself
37:06
a cow bunga. You're gonna slam
37:08
into him with very cleared and
37:10
controlled force. So this is only
37:12
going to knock him and not
37:15
Jay Jay August. So now give
37:17
me a 2D8 attack roll, but
37:19
either way you're knocking him away
37:21
from Jay Jay August. Okay. Uh,
37:23
what should I roll for the
37:25
attack? Judea. Okay,
37:29
one and a five. Okay. Here's
37:31
something, here's something I'd like to
37:33
convey night night. And then I
37:35
do the conveyor belt and then
37:37
I give him a cake for
37:39
six months. Yeah, he has just
37:41
enough time to go like, I
37:44
get it. And then you slam
37:46
into him, you're gonna do one
37:48
damage to him and it knocks
37:50
his grip loose of Jay Jay
37:52
Jay August who is able to
37:54
roll away and pop up. While
37:56
I'm laying on the ground, can
37:58
I look up at Lyle like?
38:00
So did you watch what I
38:02
did and like learn from my
38:04
and then incorporate that into your
38:06
yeah you were going backwards man
38:08
that's it I just went the
38:10
right way no problem anybody could
38:12
have done it you had a
38:14
50-50 shot I just got no
38:16
you did amazing it's just I
38:18
wanted to feel like I contributed
38:20
it was luck I just learned
38:22
from watching you I sort of
38:24
like ran where you fell and
38:26
hurt yourself I appreciate that Yeah,
38:29
Lyle, thank you Lyle for sharing
38:31
the glory, but then. Um, eopatric
38:33
Harris is going to step over
38:35
and lay some, you know, tentacle
38:37
like arms on you. On you,
38:39
Navy. Oh, okay. I am laid
38:41
out. Yeah. And attempt to shock
38:43
you. Okay,
38:46
he does one point
38:48
of damage. Do you
38:50
have any armor? Uh,
38:52
no. Okay, yeah, you
38:54
take one shocking damage.
38:56
Okay. One lightning damage.
38:58
Um, and Rolly Bott
39:00
sees his adopted father
39:03
being hurt and he
39:05
is visibly upset. He
39:08
is in your control though,
39:10
so what would you like
39:12
him to do? I would
39:14
prefer that to him hiding
39:17
his pain. Yeah, to be
39:19
fair. I mean... I'm going
39:21
to whistle. My internet whistle.
39:23
Uh-huh. Well established. And I
39:26
want him to set off
39:28
like his car alarm setting
39:30
just to sort of distract
39:32
them for a moment. Oh,
39:35
very good. Okay, cool. Oh
39:39
yeah, his car lime goes blasting
39:41
out with double sevens. Okay. And
39:43
you see, not only does it
39:45
distract him, but it is causing
39:48
them like visible kind of discomfort
39:50
as he directs it towards the
39:52
three of them. I look at
39:54
Lyle and Roger and I make
39:56
a series of hand signals. then
39:59
I twist one of my jets
40:01
backwards and sort of just like
40:03
lay on my back on the
40:05
floor and turn them both on
40:07
so it sort of does a
40:10
spinning, maneuver, full blast jet since
40:12
all the bad, the bayside baddies
40:14
are around us. Oh yeah, it
40:16
kills any kills all. It cuts
40:19
them like clean in half because
40:21
it's like water, like pressure cleaner,
40:23
like turbo power. Now here's what
40:25
I'm gonna ask Griffin. Yeah, yeah,
40:27
yeah. Would you rather? You roll
40:30
to see if Lyle and Roger
40:32
understand your hand signals and avoid
40:34
getting knocked down or have each
40:36
of them roll individually. I
40:40
mean, I guess them role
40:42
individually. This is definitely something
40:44
we've communicated about. Yes, definitely.
40:46
All right, so dad, give
40:48
me a 2D8 role to
40:50
see how well you understand
40:52
the hand signals. Justin, you
40:54
have trained in apps, so
40:56
3D8 role. Okay, let me
40:58
do that. Oh
41:01
nice. All right. Let me
41:03
see. What did you get
41:05
at? Six and a three.
41:07
Okay, make success. So, uh,
41:09
Griffin, what was Navy attempting
41:11
to convey? With the hand
41:13
signal. Get down. Get down,
41:15
drop down to the floor
41:17
and get down. Not to
41:20
party, but to like literally
41:22
get your body lower on
41:24
the floor. Everybody walked that
41:26
dinosaur. Yeah, so Roger. You
41:28
pick up that he's like
41:30
trying to drop it jumping
41:32
like a tall get low
41:34
But very much in the
41:37
kind of yin-yang twins, you
41:39
know apple bottom jeans get
41:41
low low low There's a
41:43
different hand signal for that.
41:45
Yeah So give me a
41:47
38 dance roll Roger Okay,
41:49
nice. It's kind of you
41:51
to get them the way
41:53
out of this. Oh, you're
41:56
well five eight four Okay,
41:58
yeah with two successes complete
42:00
success you get low instead
42:02
one's ever gone as low
42:04
as you are now. Certainly
42:06
not in the bovine world.
42:08
Well you twirked as such,
42:10
you're so close to the
42:12
ground, it's glorious and you
42:15
are able to... You bounce
42:17
off the window and the
42:19
wall. Yeah it's amazing. As
42:21
the water sprays down the
42:23
walls and all the liles
42:25
fall, all these baddies fall,
42:27
yeah, I have not actually
42:29
rolled to do this attack.
42:31
Yeah, so give me your
42:34
attack with your hydro blast
42:36
or a griffin. 48. 48,
42:38
yes. I still have time
42:40
to shine dice, I think?
42:43
Maybe I don't, maybe I burn them.
42:45
No you do. You have three time
42:47
to shine dates available. Well I feel
42:50
like I'm, I forgot to mark them.
42:52
I'm gonna just use them all I
42:54
guess. Or now I'll use a couple.
42:57
I'll bring up to 68. 68.
42:59
Please. That's,
43:01
oh my god, this is, this
43:03
is, what does this mean? Because
43:05
I got a five, and then
43:08
I got a 666, and then
43:10
I got a four and a-
43:12
Well, the devil appears, Griffin, and
43:14
he's like, I'll take, I'll take
43:16
care of these bad guys for
43:19
you, straight to, hell with you
43:21
boys. With the, we have three
43:23
successes, it's a, I'm gonna call
43:25
this a mega calabunga, you spin
43:27
just like the most dangerous wettest
43:30
bay blade and it sweeps all
43:32
three of them off their feet
43:34
and deals four damage to each
43:36
of them, which knocks Cameroned unconscious.
43:38
And Yale Patrick Harris and Squid
43:41
Mark are not looking great as
43:43
they are flattened. As we stop,
43:45
I look around at it. Was
43:47
anyone recording that? We don't, like,
43:49
I've got a lot of great
43:52
footage of you guys doing cool
43:54
stuff, but I haven't gotten any
43:56
cool stuff on tape yet, just
43:58
like any chance anyone. Jay
44:00
Jay Jay probably has a body
44:03
cam, right? No, I don't have
44:05
a body cam, but but I
44:07
have my phone out. I filmed
44:09
it. Oh, yes. Eric, here drop
44:11
me that, please. Yeah, you got
44:13
it. So what do you guys
44:15
do with the two remaining? I'm
44:17
gonna say Squid Mark is starting
44:19
to stand up with his multi
44:22
tentacles, but Slithery Eel is having
44:24
a harder time getting up, but...
44:26
And his Squid Mark is soaking
44:28
wet. Yeah now. He's gonna
44:30
get cattle prodded. He is so
44:32
gonna get cattle prodded. Then do
44:34
it. Yeah. And he's probably standing
44:36
in a puddle of water too,
44:38
right? No, it's his own pee
44:41
because he's so scared to you.
44:43
Well it's a combination of ink
44:45
which as we know is squid
44:47
pee and water. Yeah yeah, ink
44:49
is a squid's pee. We all
44:51
know this. And there's just streaks,
44:53
there's streaks everywhere. Gross. So I
44:55
roll 2D8 for the cattle prods,
44:57
right? 3D8 for the cattle prods.
44:59
3D8 for the cattle. Oh
45:04
my god. 8.3. Unpossible. Yikes, dad?
45:06
With a mega cow bong, he
45:09
is knocked fully unconscious and definitely
45:11
has a chance to think about
45:13
like life choices and what he
45:15
does with himself when his partner
45:18
Debbie is out of town and
45:20
I don't know, some money falls
45:22
out of his pockets here if
45:24
you want that. Oh nice. Killer,
45:27
how much? Then Roger says... It's
45:29
23 dollars. It's exactly how much
45:31
he owed you owed you and
45:33
bills. Calamari, anyone? That's
45:36
offensive. Yeah, no one really says
45:38
that anymore, man. I'm gonna say
45:40
something here and it's gonna upset
45:42
you, but what if someone hit
45:44
you or took you out and
45:46
was like, who's hungry for steak
45:48
or hamburgers? It would feel bad
45:51
to joke about baby. Or where's
45:53
the beef? I have a very
45:55
thick skin. That's great, but you
45:57
have to understand that that doesn't
45:59
give you carte blanche. sorry, just
46:01
something about hide, like, you know,
46:03
raw hide or anything. Okay, we're
46:05
done actually coming up with demonstrations.
46:07
Oh, raw hide is good. I
46:09
like raw hide. We're all saying
46:12
these things very casually. Yeah, I'm
46:14
sure. While Patrick Harris is gonna
46:16
slither off and jump into the
46:18
ocean to escape. As we all
46:20
wanted to, secretly. I mean, I'd
46:22
like to pursue him. I don't...
46:24
Yeah, no, that's what he's... That's
46:26
what you see him. You see
46:28
him slithering off into, like, as
46:30
you guys were talking, you look
46:32
over, you see E.L. Patrick Harris
46:35
has left a trail of this
46:37
brackish water as he is attempting
46:39
to slither off and get back
46:41
into the water. Let's
46:43
split up, Roger, can you keep
46:46
an eye on these two? And
46:48
if they wake up, get some
46:50
info and the wet fellas will
46:53
get it wet? I can call
46:55
it in, Jay-J says, and the
46:57
Rollie Baw comes over and kind
47:00
of beeps and opens up its
47:02
side door. Rollie Baw, what is
47:05
it? Oh, sorry. It
47:07
closes its door, right? And you hear this like
47:09
hiss as it closes and it opens again and
47:12
then it like conquers down and beats a gun.
47:14
I think it's here tight in there. I think
47:16
Roger. Yeah, you gotta come with, man. We could
47:18
all be wet fellas. Yeah, welcome, welcome aboard. It's
47:20
a dream come true. I prefer that to being
47:22
left behind to wait for these two knuckleheads to
47:25
wake up. Okay Jay Jay Jay let's can you
47:27
can you can you get someone here to like
47:29
to get take her these two and we'll go
47:31
chase on the eel we've been arguing we've been
47:33
discussing this for such a long time he's probably
47:35
long she's already on the phone or she's like
47:38
yeah I'm on it okay great let's go okay
47:40
Roger jumps into the really bot and Justin make
47:42
sure you grab the phone that you before you
47:44
leave. I'm assuming I need
47:46
to say that out loud,
47:48
so I'll say it so
47:51
I grab say it the
47:53
phone. I grab the phone, I
47:55
it is it. You grab power,
47:57
is without power otherwise intact. intact. Okay
47:59
Roger you you load the the
48:01
is anybody else is anybody else
48:04
going with I I mean,
48:06
the other two, you'll
48:08
be fine. fine. Yeah, I'm
48:10
absolutely going with because because
48:12
I can swim underwater doesn't
48:14
mean that I want
48:17
to. I'm just I'm just down
48:19
on the floor of
48:21
it, on to sleep. of it. It's
48:23
going to well, I want
48:25
to leave you doing that
48:27
want to leave you dives into
48:30
the water, dives into the up
48:32
behind and launches itself off
48:34
launches know, the of, you know, the
48:36
pier the water and you
48:38
see its wheels kind
48:40
of shift so that they
48:43
are now, they they shift
48:45
90 degrees and start spinning
48:47
as as And the
48:49
three of you, I guess
48:51
I guess four of you,
48:53
including the rollie bot, the
48:55
launch through the ocean the
48:57
ocean .O. Patrick Harris. Patrick Harris. the
49:27
three Circumstance"] Hey,
49:42
I'm Slipp and Slide, part of the
49:44
of crew. And I'm here
49:46
to tell you that
49:49
when you you use equipment,
49:51
you gotta wipe that
49:53
sweat off sweat it with
49:55
a towel with a towel.
49:57
gonna touch no one's a touch.
49:59
when they're doing their when
50:01
they're doing their Sweat is
50:03
the most disgusting substance
50:05
on the planet, planet. with
50:07
it. with it. begging you
50:09
as someone who you,
50:11
to do some crunches
50:14
and not touch you who
50:16
myself wants thanks do some crunches and
50:18
not touch a yucky swing. All right, thanks
50:20
everyone has been slipping sign. Good bye.
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