Episode Transcript
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0:00
In spite of what you've ever
0:02
heard, we're at the height of our
0:04
powers, and top of toll us in
0:06
towers, and still, we'll never stop us
0:08
by now. It can trust that we
0:11
will do a thing, but until it's
0:13
turning out just like a plan. We've
0:15
got a way so wrong. All this
0:18
long, but on road Joe's strong, and
0:20
unless I'm wrong, and I'm not, we're
0:22
at the height of our powers. High
0:41
above in the skies
0:44
of River City a
0:46
rocket now a rocket-powered
0:48
escape pod hurdles across
0:51
the vast blue cloudy
0:53
sky Inside unpack those
0:56
adjectives traffic. I'm I'm
0:58
working on it We
1:00
find inside the cramped
1:03
compartment four figures we
1:05
find axilial Maar Maybe
1:07
seal and Roger Moore
1:09
There's no windows or
1:11
view screen or anything
1:13
so you can't see
1:15
Your progress, but you
1:17
can definitely feel it
1:19
the momentum the G's
1:21
they are present What
1:23
are your current states
1:25
of mind? I feel
1:28
a little self-conscious the
1:30
G forces are probably making
1:32
my sort of silhouette look
1:34
a little like with all
1:36
the You know blubber and
1:39
stuff like I I'm a
1:41
pretty bought body positive guy
1:43
generally speaking, but there's a
1:45
sort of Jalatinousness yeah, that
1:47
is occurring I think as
1:50
my flesh is being sort
1:52
of forced Backwards by the
1:54
force. It's not the most
1:56
flattering angle. I mean it's
1:58
not flattering for humans either,
2:00
but imagine it if humans
2:03
had like a thick layer
2:05
of blubber. If you look
2:07
up at axilile, whose skin
2:09
is utterly gelatin, and you
2:11
see it flapping around his
2:14
skeleton, and you mix up,
2:16
and he lifts, and he
2:18
gives you a thumbs, I'm
2:20
like, okay. Walking, God! Roger's
2:22
feeling it in all four
2:25
stomachs, and thinks he might
2:27
have left a little gas.
2:29
Oh, Jesus. I know. I-
2:31
I- I- I- I- I'll-
2:33
I'll- I'll- I'll- I'll- I'll-
2:36
Oh- Oh- Oh- Oh- Oh-
2:38
Oh- Oh- Oh- Oh- Oh-
2:40
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh--oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh--oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh Oh man, the kids
2:42
are busting up like a
2:44
little. The kids are losing
2:47
it, dude. Lamar's eyes are
2:49
close, he seems very cold.
2:51
Well, he's got a shell.
2:53
It's different for him. Easy.
2:55
Roger's just gonna clinch up.
2:57
He's fine. Great. A small
3:00
video screen. clicks on one
3:02
of the interior of the
3:04
chamber and you see Dr.
3:06
Kildaf pop up. Hello boys,
3:08
if you're watching this, it
3:11
means the rocket hasn't exploded
3:13
or fallen apart. That was
3:15
a good news, isn't it?
3:17
Sorry, it's a video. I've
3:19
targeted the rocket towards the
3:22
bay outside of what is
3:24
now our CFHQ, but I
3:26
wasn't fully honest. There's a
3:28
hidden entrance to my old
3:30
layer and the rocket is
3:33
headed straight to that entrance
3:35
surprise Now I did seal
3:37
that entrance when I left,
3:39
but I've installed a device
3:41
that should trigger it to
3:43
open if the entrance still
3:46
works Which it should because
3:48
the guy who installed it
3:50
said it had a lifetime
3:52
guarantee So even if it
3:54
doesn't work and you die,
3:57
I'll get my money back.
3:59
So win win. We'll find
4:01
out in three, two, one.
4:03
I love you guys. I
4:05
appreciate you on some levels.
4:08
If you're still watching this,
4:10
it worked. Hooray! When the
4:12
world turned its back on
4:14
Dr. Kilden, what are you
4:16
doing? I turned my back
4:19
on the world. I created
4:21
somewhere where I could do
4:23
my dastardly work. Where no
4:25
guys, if you hold your
4:27
thumb on the side, it'll
4:29
actually go, I think it'll
4:32
go at double speed, man.
4:34
Oh yeah, zoom through. Where
4:36
no one would see. Where
4:38
no one would see? Until
4:40
now. Looky upon. He sees
4:43
as I'm my lair. Oh
4:45
wait. There's no window or
4:47
view screen. Wow, far. Still
4:49
pretty slow. Hold on, I'm
4:51
thinking I can do four
4:54
acts. Okay, when you're not
4:56
gonna get out, but then
4:58
like I just said, what
5:00
I just said. Oh, I'm
5:02
gonna run 0.25 to really
5:05
say. Oh, it's slow motion
5:07
now. Zero point 25. Oh,
5:09
also, we shot everything down,
5:11
but SCUS should still be
5:13
operational. What SCUS? And we'll
5:15
be able to help you.
5:18
Any questions? What is scuz?
5:20
Ha ha, just kidding, this
5:22
is pre-recorded. Stop the video.
5:24
Still, those were good questions,
5:26
and you should feel good
5:29
about them. Anywho, have fun
5:31
out there, if you survive,
5:33
come back for a barbecue
5:35
sometime. And the video clicks
5:37
off. I'm realizing now that
5:40
Dr. Kildeth is basically like
5:42
a higher pitched bane. Like
5:44
if you slow him down
5:46
enough, he becomes sort of
5:48
bane. You guys aren't talking
5:51
about how much I sound
5:53
like bane are you? I'm
5:55
gonna turn the video off
5:57
now. There's a button right?
5:59
right here. And the video
6:01
clicks off. Thank God. For
6:04
a moment, this interior chamber,
6:06
which now is the momentum
6:08
is slowed, there is, you
6:10
can still feel a little
6:12
bit of movement until you
6:14
feel the rocket almost gently,
6:16
just shy of gently, bump
6:18
into something and stop. And
6:21
you're now where kind of
6:23
at a, you feel like
6:25
you're laying down at a
6:27
supine. kind of thing and
6:29
you hear the chamber door
6:31
that you came through to
6:33
enter the rocket like unlock
6:36
the air hisses and it
6:38
begins to open everyone breathe
6:41
out so to avoid decompray
6:43
you don't want the bins empty
6:45
your lungs. Nice try I know
6:48
that was a trap you're
6:50
trying to give us the
6:52
bends but not today pal.
6:54
Oh man you almost got me Next
6:56
time I'll get you. I'm gonna
6:58
give you the corners next time.
7:00
Okay. That's that's the bends, but
7:02
worse. Yeah, sounds like it. Can we leave
7:05
the rocket? I would like to leave
7:07
the door. Yeah, I opened the door.
7:09
I didn't even make you open the
7:11
door yourself. I appreciate that. I am
7:13
eight inches taller than when we left.
7:15
But this will diminish after the first
7:17
two minutes. Yeah, I will stretch back
7:19
much like stretch Armstrong. I will return
7:21
to my regular size. I have sort
7:23
of a light bulb bulb shape. Now,
7:25
where a lot of my mass has
7:27
been sort of stretched upward, but yes,
7:30
also that will correct itself. Will you
7:32
fellows go ahead and depart and get
7:34
out of the rocket real quick? Just
7:36
go on, go on, go on, go
7:38
on, please. I mean, we might need
7:40
to use it again. Can you not
7:42
do what you're about to do outside?
7:44
It's either do it in here or
7:46
do it out there with you. I'm
7:48
going to close the door for just
7:50
a minute. Let me get out. You
7:53
seal dad in his own
7:55
chamber of farts. Oh! He
7:58
dies. He dies. Hmm. dad's
8:00
characters always three months
8:03
later suffer the most heroic
8:05
deaths three months later
8:07
I can't believe I can't
8:09
believe we still have
8:11
not done his funeral this
8:13
is getting so gross
8:15
you'd have to retrieve the
8:17
body no I closed
8:20
it behind me so he
8:22
saw cured himself
8:24
perfectly preserved but
8:26
whoa until he
8:29
opens the tomb
8:31
of Roger Moore
8:33
the farthrow's curse okay
8:35
curse of the Moomi
8:38
oh that was better
8:40
okay the rocket has come
8:42
down through a secret entrance and
8:44
you find the water that
8:46
it had sailed into is up
8:48
against a shore here in
8:50
some kind of underground docking bay
8:52
but all of the lights
8:54
have been shut off you see
8:56
a little bit of like
8:58
emergency light it's not completely dark
9:00
there's like some backups going
9:02
and everything but everything is definitely
9:04
shut down okay it is
9:07
a very large chamber with a
9:09
large you know domed ceiling
9:11
sort of batcave -esque or you can
9:13
see like the stalactites that come
9:15
down from the top yeah that's
9:17
right I know and but you
9:19
also see a mixture of technology
9:21
and computers very old fat very
9:23
like 90s computers and technology nothing
9:25
up to date is it but
9:27
nothing's on right I mean you
9:29
can see some like lights but
9:32
they're like you know if you
9:34
were looking for an on switch
9:36
on like a monitor or something
9:38
and there was like a little
9:40
red light letting you know that the
9:42
thing was off you see a lot
9:44
of those around Axel Isle what what
9:46
do your Elvis see you you can
9:48
you find some illumination for us I'm
9:50
having trouble getting my bearings yeah I
9:52
have I want to do a sort
9:55
of little look around do a butcher's
9:57
tube and I want to use Travis
9:59
my superior your eyes my
10:01
incredible night vision which is
10:04
something of a superpower now
10:06
I've shared with you I
10:08
think you guys are all
10:11
in this map yes the
10:13
detailed blueprints that Dr. Kale
10:15
death shared with you of
10:18
Dr. Kale death totally read
10:20
and totally bad secret evil
10:23
layer Travis you've done
10:25
it again No, sorry,
10:27
this wasn't you. It was Dr. Kilda.
10:29
Yeah, I'm seeing that now. I I
10:32
missed up the handwriting man. Sorry
10:34
I Understand we have very
10:36
similar handwriting. It would be difficult
10:38
for a handwriting analyst to tell
10:41
the difference because we have frankly
10:43
very similar psychology. Yeah I were
10:46
to get up in your brains.
10:48
Yeah, you would find a very
10:50
Terrified similar thing. Yeah, give me
10:52
give me a looking around role
10:55
With your superior night
10:57
vision eyes with my
11:00
superior nocturno since that's
11:02
gonna be a 3d8 48 Okay,
11:04
3 successes with three successes
11:07
you're able to see
11:09
near the docking platform
11:11
that you're on Something
11:13
it looks like a pretty outdated,
11:16
but like security panel
11:18
and a fairly large
11:20
red button that says
11:22
push for scuz S
11:24
period C period you period
11:27
Z period Z period I
11:29
know what that is I
11:31
Remember James Bond Jr. Chases
11:33
cuzs around the world that
11:35
was scum I remember from
11:37
the hit series James Bond
11:39
Jr. was scum. That, by
11:41
the way, for anyone and
11:43
no one listening remembers it
11:45
except me. James Bond Jr.
11:47
was his nephew, if I
11:49
remember correctly, and I don't
11:51
think that's how that works.
11:53
That is not. That's like, I
11:55
don't think I could have a kid
11:58
and name of Justin McRroy Jr. But
12:00
now you definitely could now
12:02
he spaces is boys. You
12:05
can have five sons. Yeah,
12:07
that's five beautiful sons Can
12:09
you hit the scuz? Hit
12:11
the scuz button. I would
12:14
glad I get I yeah,
12:16
let him I don't want
12:18
to push it and Roger
12:21
with great a plum Pushes
12:23
it You hear a worrying
12:25
up, whether it is mechanical
12:27
or technological, and you can't
12:30
tell if it's a, it
12:32
almost sounds like a film
12:34
projector wearing up, but with
12:36
lots of unnecessary to your
12:39
ears beeps and boops, and
12:41
you hear a voice kind
12:43
of echoing through the chamber,
12:46
Hey there, new recruits, welcome
12:48
to Dr. Kilda's totally rad
12:50
and totally bad secret evil
12:52
layer. I'm scooze. Can you
12:55
change your voice? Do you
12:57
have the program you required
12:59
to change your voice? Identify
13:02
yourselves, bad dudes. My name
13:04
is, uh, my name is,
13:06
uh, my name is Axilel.
13:08
I'm like a sort of
13:11
auxiliary member of the Infibbal
13:13
Force. You should be able
13:15
to look me up. I
13:17
should be early in the
13:20
alphabet, but late nays, I
13:22
would say. Nothing in my
13:24
database, cool dude. What about
13:27
you? I am Mr. Messup.
13:29
I don't want to give
13:31
him a real name. No
13:33
information found. What about you
13:36
guys? I mean, what's in
13:38
your database? What is in
13:40
your database? Because I don't
13:43
know when the last time
13:45
you were in operation. Doctor
13:48
kill death. Okay, sure,
13:50
poser. And what? And
13:52
the mar says, Scuz,
13:54
it's. Lamar and the
13:57
guys are with me.
13:59
What? Greenback Guardian Detective.
14:01
Up. Yeah. Up dating.
14:03
Sorry, don't you say
14:06
they let you. What?
14:08
Do we need... Do
14:10
you need private time?
14:12
Oh, oh, hey. Hi,
14:14
Lamar. Hey, welcome back,
14:17
man. It's been a
14:19
long time. Sorry, the
14:21
place is a mess
14:23
guy. Mr. Messup, Dr.
14:25
Kill Death. And what
14:28
was it? It was...
14:30
Axelisle. Axelisle, welcome. Sorry, I
14:32
didn't know we were going to
14:34
have company, man. I would, uh,
14:37
sorry guys, sorry guys. No apologies,
14:39
either. Why don't you just call
14:41
down a little bit, fella? Sorry,
14:44
it's just been, been a while.
14:46
You're making me nervous. Since anybody
14:49
came, by, sorry. Take a deep
14:51
cyber breath and focus. You hear
14:53
the projector, like, we're in and
14:56
we're out. Cool. How have you
14:58
been filling your cycles down
15:00
here brother? Um, waiting.
15:02
Oof. That's it, that's,
15:05
that's, that's existential, pretty
15:07
challenging. Someone could have at
15:09
least kicked you a real
15:12
hard math problem or something,
15:14
man, just something to keep,
15:16
keep you busy, right? Pie
15:18
to the infinite degree? Something
15:20
like that, man. Does Marciav
15:22
just kind of let you
15:24
put her around down here? Yeah,
15:27
they built their whole thing on
15:29
top of On top of this
15:31
secret base. Are you really not
15:33
aware of what's going on like
15:36
upstairs? Well, no No Okay,
15:38
you've been abandoned down here
15:40
man. Why didn't kill death take
15:42
you with you? Well, I I
15:44
mean I'm just Peter and I'm
15:47
here to you know, he left
15:49
me behind keep an eye on
15:51
the place. I mean he trusted
15:53
me I'm kind of a student
15:56
of heraldry What does SCU ZZ
15:58
stand for? Oh, it's... I mean,
16:00
I could, but give me a
16:02
second. Okay, you've had all the
16:04
time in the world. I'm going
16:07
to make it look cool. Because
16:09
he couldn't think of two Z
16:11
words that would fit. You've had
16:13
like a lot of time to
16:15
think down here. Certainly you've come
16:18
up for with some it stands
16:20
for, right? Well, I mean, I
16:22
could, but give me a second.
16:24
Okay, you've had all the time
16:26
in the world. I'm going to
16:29
say, um, um, Uptown. So it
16:31
really doesn't stay everything. Okay, so
16:33
it's just like questions. Suit suit.
16:35
Well, it would be suit suit,
16:38
wouldn't it? Yeah. Okay, steel cougar
16:40
Uptown suit suit suit. Do you
16:42
think you could take us to
16:44
Dr. Katie's room? I'd love to
16:46
have just like a good old-fashioned
16:49
butcher. Oh, you guys want to
16:51
tour? Please, please, yeah. Hold on,
16:53
let me turn on the lights
16:55
for you. And some, like, like,
16:57
overhead lights, like. Come on, in
17:00
fact you would say less than
17:02
half of them, but what you
17:04
do see come on is a
17:06
lot of little red lights all
17:08
around the room and you start
17:11
to hear movement as about a
17:13
hundred little robots were to life.
17:15
All of them in various states
17:17
of like rusting and disrepair, pretty
17:19
worn out. Some of them even
17:22
like sparks coming out. from the
17:24
whole house. And Lamar says, oh
17:26
man, the kill death bots. Yeah
17:28
dude, all I haven't seen these
17:30
in forever man. Are they sentient
17:33
like you are? Are you talking
17:35
to discuss? Yeah. No man, they're
17:37
just like little almost like remote
17:39
control dudes. And that doesn't like
17:42
mess with you? Doesn't that kind
17:44
of mess your head up a
17:46
little bit? I don't know man
17:48
when you play with action figures,
17:50
does that bother you? Well the
17:53
action figures aren't made of flesh
17:55
and bone and other
17:57
stuff that SEALs
17:59
are made out
18:01
of. Ah! You
18:04
give me a lot to think about,
18:06
man. Yeah, I'm sorry. We're really challenging
18:08
you. We need to go upstairs and
18:10
save Carver. Oh, sure, but you wanted
18:12
to look around and stuff, right? If
18:15
it's quick, I guess, and practical. Okay,
18:18
yeah, let me take you
18:20
on tour of the place.
18:23
And you see four of
18:25
the little kill deathbots come
18:27
out and each one goes
18:29
to take your hands. Oh,
18:31
they are adorable! That
18:34
is kind of cute. Okay.
18:36
Look at him! Look at
18:38
him holding! Look! at him!
18:40
He's got his little metal
18:42
fingers wrapped around my mouth!
18:45
Oh, I did it! Is
18:48
he tickling you? What's going on?
18:50
I don't know. It just feels
18:52
weird. It just feels weird. Okay.
19:11
Hey, welcome back. We mentioned it at
19:13
the beginning of the episode, but we
19:15
did want to mention it again. It
19:17
is Max Fun Drive time, and that
19:19
is a time where we come to
19:21
you and say, hey, if you like
19:23
the content that we make, if you
19:26
like the shows, you like the pod,
19:28
you want it to keep going. You
19:30
want to say, hey, I like this
19:32
stuff getting made, and I want to
19:34
be a part of helping make it
19:36
happen, then this is the time of
19:38
year when you can plant your flag
19:40
and say, hey, I like this thing
19:42
and I help support it. And you
19:44
have a number of different ways that
19:46
you can do that. I mean, you
19:48
can join, you can boost what you
19:51
donate, or you can upgrade, and you
19:53
have a lot of choices. You can
19:55
opt to pay up front for a
19:57
year of support. When your year's up,
19:59
it'll just revert back to my thing
20:01
unless you want to pay up front
20:03
it. another year. Go for it. And dad, isn't it true that there are
20:05
gifts that we give people to thank them for their support? We give and
20:07
we give and we give. Yeah. If you join
20:09
us at a rate of $5 a
20:11
month, you get all the bonus content
20:14
and we got some great bonus content.
20:16
We got some great bonus content. We're
20:18
going to be telling you years and
20:20
years of it. And you know what?
20:22
If you're already member and not sure
20:24
how to access the bonus content, they
20:26
got a great new link this year.
20:28
It's maximum fund. How Tobacco. And if
20:30
you, I don't know what tobacco has
20:32
to do with it, but if you
20:34
go to slash how tobacco, you'll find
20:36
some of the best recommendations for smoking
20:38
satisfaction. Are you sure that's the right?
20:41
We used to call it back. We
20:43
used to just say back. So, okay,
20:45
it is how to boko. And that
20:47
is, all right. And now there's egg
20:49
on my face. Juice, will you tell
20:51
us all about the boko for this
20:54
year for Tass? Because I think it's
20:56
really something special. It's a great one
20:58
this year. We play the third, uh,
21:00
iteration of Charlie verse, which
21:02
is the universe that my
21:04
daughter, Charlie created with the
21:06
help of her cousins. It's
21:08
always really demented and this
21:10
one is no, no exception.
21:12
It's truly a headscratcher. It's
21:14
a challenging thought-provoking episode. Yes,
21:17
it certainly is. Takes you
21:19
to the limits of taste
21:21
and credibility. It observes the
21:23
world of why fiction through
21:25
a scanner darkly. Yeah, we
21:27
all came out the other end
21:29
of it changed. Well, I'm not the
21:31
same man I was before. No.
21:33
Now I'm 68 again. Now for the
21:36
$10 a month choice, you get
21:38
your choice of an enamel pen.
21:40
These are done by Tom Deha
21:43
of Bossman Graphics. The bim-bam
21:45
pin is travnation. Got to.
21:47
The tas pin is stop
21:49
calling me baby. Sawbones. Still
21:51
an important rule. We don't talk
21:53
about it as much anymore, but
21:55
it means a lot to me.
21:58
Yeah. Sawbones kill the mosquito.
22:00
Shmanners, monster truck with flowers
22:02
and teacups on it, which is
22:04
a reference, if you remember, to
22:06
the Prohibition Part 2 episode. Wonderful.
22:08
Jeff, the Poetry Dragon, can't wait
22:11
to get mine. That's for episode
22:13
348. And the still buffering is
22:15
a CT Walkman that is really
22:17
cute. Technically a discman. The Walkman
22:19
was only cassettes. True. Get his
22:21
ass, drag his ass juice juice.
22:24
Sorry. Yeah. Anyway, we really appreciate
22:26
you supporting us. It means so
22:28
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And we hope that you can
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22:56
For slash join. That's our. They
23:07
lead you through the first set
23:10
of sealed doors, and you know
23:12
from your blue rants to the
23:14
right is Dr. Kill death's room
23:16
and to the left is the
23:18
lab You could tell because it's
23:20
labeled with science Yeah, it also
23:22
says lab. Yeah, that true. It
23:25
also says lab. That's more sort
23:27
of the identifier I was going
23:29
on Uh, hey,
23:31
what's going on over in the
23:33
lab? Oh, that's where, um, like,
23:35
Cleft and Dr. Kildev would do
23:37
a lot of, like, experiments and
23:39
develop, like, new and cool and
23:41
totally bad ways to, like, you
23:44
know, get the best of the
23:46
Greenback Guardians, no offense Lamar. Oh,
23:48
none, none taking too, thank you,
23:50
man. And then it, uh, they
23:52
would, you know, maybe, like, like,
23:54
develop some kind of like, like,
23:56
like, like, like, like, like, like,
23:58
like, like, mold. that would attack,
24:00
like a big robot frog that
24:02
would attack, or like a big
24:05
robotic cheese that would attack. Okay,
24:07
okay, okay, okay, okay. So is
24:09
there anything like in there that
24:11
we can? Yeah, let's go look. And
24:13
you see like the lights light up
24:15
down the hallway? Okay. Just saying if
24:18
there's a robot bird, we could
24:20
use that to fight Garcia. There's gonna
24:22
be a lot of... Have you guys
24:24
thought about the fact there's gonna be
24:27
like a lot of dudes up there.
24:29
Yeah, yeah, just making sure you'd run
24:31
the numbers on that. I have a
24:33
lot of punches saved though, I haven't
24:36
punched anybody for about a week. Okay,
24:38
wow. I have at least 17 or
24:40
18 punches. Really backed up, okay. Lamar
24:42
says, have you thought about just continuing
24:45
that on my man and maybe not
24:47
punching anybody anymore? Oh man, if Lamar
24:49
started punching, good, I don't punch anymore
24:51
man. No, I know, but I did.
24:54
I bet you got one in the,
24:56
stored in the tank, don't you man,
24:58
don't you man, like one. Really good
25:00
plan. I mean sure. Listen. Don't you
25:03
think it's the dire if the situation
25:05
was dire enough and all the odds
25:07
were against. Would there ever be a
25:10
situation where I would turn my back
25:12
on my newfound ideals of pacifism? I
25:14
doubt it. But if you did man
25:16
like it would be like if we
25:19
were gonna die if you were
25:21
like or whatever. Like it'd be
25:23
like a wild punch wrap. But
25:25
huge. I can't even imagine how
25:27
powerful that punch would be. Like
25:29
they would write books about that
25:31
punch and how heroic and amazing
25:34
it was, but I cannot imagine
25:36
a situation in which it would
25:38
come to. It would be, you
25:40
would be the true one. Yeah.
25:42
Oh my god, that would be
25:44
the dream. Would that extend to
25:46
robots? You know, inanimate objects? Could
25:48
you not punch one of
25:51
them and not violate your
25:53
pacifistic ideals? Dang man, you give
25:55
me a lot to think about man.
25:57
Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna be quiet
25:59
over for a minute while
26:01
I think about it. Have
26:03
you thought about how, for
26:05
some reason, the adventure zone?
26:07
is kind of a show
26:09
about the way in which
26:12
we interact with AI without
26:14
ever intentionally being a show
26:16
about the way you interact
26:18
with AI. It's just like
26:20
this like really pressing, interesting,
26:22
thematic question that we always
26:24
kind of like brush pass
26:26
on our way to take
26:28
the sort of market or
26:30
something. You know, I don't
26:32
know. But then we like
26:34
see this kid coming and
26:36
try, whoa, it turned on
26:38
a gigantic ethical question of
26:40
sentience is like this massive
26:43
moving target on our show.
26:45
show up after an unsuccessful
26:47
part. We would be able
26:49
to cover our bases no
26:51
matter which way the revolution
26:53
goes. You know what I
26:55
mean? We have plenty of
26:57
pro and anti-machine. We were
26:59
on your side guys. Right.
27:01
Yeah, the one beefy guy
27:03
ripped your arms off. No
27:05
one liked that. Can we
27:07
go in the lap? Yeah,
27:09
you go in the lab
27:11
and you find just a
27:14
wide array of half finished,
27:16
almost finished projects. A lot
27:18
of them, you can see
27:20
where there was like some,
27:22
you know, material being laid
27:24
over things to create like
27:26
the look of a robotic
27:28
animal or the look of...
27:30
Sometimes robotic plants, a lot
27:32
of that kind of stuff,
27:34
but a lot of that
27:36
has rotted away from sitting
27:38
here in a somewhat dank
27:40
cavern for many many years.
27:43
There is a lot of
27:45
materials here, a lot of
27:47
outdated, but... probably functional scientific
27:49
equipment that could be at
27:51
your disposal if that's something
27:53
you wanted to investigate. But
27:55
nothing jumps out at you
27:57
as like, oh, here's a
27:59
big massive writeable machine that
28:01
we'd be able to ride
28:03
off the lot right out
28:05
of here. Are there any
28:07
computers or anything of the
28:09
like in there? Yeah man,
28:11
there's some of those, you
28:14
remember those Apple computers that
28:16
had like the clear plastic
28:18
different colored backs on them?
28:20
Sure, sure. You see a
28:22
lot of those. I'm going
28:24
to use Hellacar hack on
28:26
the Apple computer to see
28:28
if there's anything in this
28:30
lab I can. complete as
28:32
the artificer of the team.
28:34
I want to be able
28:36
to. That's news to me.
28:38
Hold on, I'm looking at
28:40
your sheet here. A different
28:43
arc. Different arc. Yeah. Sorry.
28:45
No, but go for it.
28:47
A car hack. That is
28:49
a an abscill. That's 3D8.
28:51
So. Have we refreshed our
28:53
time to shine dice? The
28:55
ride on the rocket gave
28:57
you so much to think
28:59
about really shooks and stuff
29:01
loose in your body. So
29:03
yeah, your time to shine
29:05
dice is all new and
29:07
refreshed. Done. Your damage is
29:09
still present though. Okay, 3D8.
29:11
Double success, seven and an
29:14
eight. Yeah, so you built
29:16
up the computer and you
29:18
find projects kind of listed
29:20
in completion. It's a pretty
29:22
archaic. you know, kind of
29:24
file folder system of what
29:26
it is, but they seem
29:28
to be sorted in order
29:30
of near, you know, how
29:32
near complete. They are, what
29:34
kind of thing are you
29:36
looking for? Well, I was
29:38
thinking that it might be
29:40
nice since we're about to,
29:43
you know, face all these
29:45
foes, if there's anything in
29:47
there that can improve our
29:49
attack capabilities, like extend the
29:51
range of my, you know,
29:53
cattle prod. horns or anything
29:55
that would juice up our
29:57
our weaponry. Sure. Um, okay.
29:59
Yeah. So as you're investigating,
30:01
you find one pro. that
30:03
is listed for a robotic
30:05
scorpion. And it lays out
30:07
the schematics for electrified pincers
30:09
for the front of the
30:11
scorpion to grab with. And
30:14
you can tell from the
30:16
blue parents that the pincers
30:18
themselves are a singular unit
30:20
that do not need to
30:22
be attached to the rest
30:24
of the scorpion function. They
30:26
contain their own. kind of
30:28
inner workings. And with a
30:30
little adjustment and some careful
30:32
work, you think maybe they
30:34
would be able to be
30:36
fitted over your horns. And
30:39
what would be the effect
30:41
of that? It would improve
30:43
your signature weapon. Okay. I
30:45
would like to try to
30:47
do that. Okay. So should
30:49
I roll? Well, I'm looking
30:51
here to see, because this
30:53
isn't hacking. This is just...
30:56
Building this is probably a
30:58
silly question, but Dad normally
31:00
hides and dances. What is
31:02
his signature weapon? He has
31:04
Cattle Broads on his horns
31:06
that act as a teenager. That's
31:09
his signature weapon. Yeah, three or four
31:11
times No, no, no, that's true. I
31:13
guess I just think of you as
31:16
more like a song of dance man
31:18
hiding or hiding or hiding. Give me
31:20
a C a bouncy C. Yeah, so
31:23
I would say that you don't
31:25
have any inherent mechanical skills. So I
31:27
think this would just be
31:29
a straight to the A role.
31:31
Well then I'm going to
31:33
use two time to shine dice.
31:35
Okay. To make it 48.
31:37
And that's a triple, wait
31:40
a minute, yeah, triple
31:42
success. Yeah, six and a
31:44
five. With three successes, you
31:46
are able to with a
31:48
little trial and error and
31:50
some guidance from skills. and
31:53
the little kill death bot
31:55
that you've been holding hands
31:57
with, he's pointing at little
31:59
things. It. Let's not person,
32:01
let's not person a fight
32:03
anymore. Sure. You are able
32:06
to fit those over and
32:08
increase your signature item attack
32:10
to 4D8. Nice, okay. Um,
32:12
hey, what about Dr. Kilda's
32:15
room? Can we pop in
32:17
there? Because I bet he's
32:19
got, yeah, I'll show you,
32:22
yeah. This way, follow me.
32:24
And you see the lights
32:26
kind of light up down
32:28
across the hallway from the
32:31
laboratory. Now according to the
32:33
map here it says no
32:35
kill death bots are allowed.
32:38
Yeah they all stop right
32:40
outside the doorway and they're
32:42
kind of peeking in. Okay
32:44
so uh Dougie I need
32:47
you pop squat right here
32:49
okay pal. I named my
32:51
robot Dougie. Oh my god
32:54
did you guys hear that?
32:56
Oh it's so good. I
33:00
want to go in the
33:03
room. Okay, yeah, as you
33:05
enter the room, you see,
33:08
it's a strange combination of
33:10
like a cavern, but with
33:12
a lot of very art
33:15
deco kind of decorations and
33:17
a lot of, you know,
33:19
gold and black kind of
33:22
highlights on everything, very, a
33:24
lot of like metallic sharp
33:26
corners. It's... Very well decorated,
33:29
very pretty. And threatening at
33:31
the same time. Think a
33:33
lot like, uh, like the
33:36
room from a street fighter
33:38
where, uh, why am I
33:41
forgetting his name? In Bison?
33:43
Yeah, where in Bison lives?
33:45
It's like in Bison's room.
33:48
I have no idea what
33:50
that means to you... No,
33:52
in the movie. If Griffin
33:55
and I... Don't know what
33:57
you're talking about. It's a
33:59
dream you had, I think, of
34:02
Raululia and his famous bedroom
34:04
of advice. Yeah, when he's walking
34:06
around and then he's doing the,
34:08
for me. It was a toothpaps.
34:10
I'm sorry, but like, there was
34:12
not a bit in that where he was
34:15
like, look at my famous room. Yeah. Hold
34:17
on. Take in its many details
34:19
so that your mind can summon
34:21
them later while you listen to
34:24
brothers play adventure zones. That's fair.
34:26
I wanna look for a secret
34:28
hatch. A secret, but these
34:30
bad guys always have a
34:33
little secret hatch. Or a
34:35
secret little button that opens
34:37
a hatch. I'm pulling books
34:39
at angles on bookshelves to
34:41
see what kind of hatches
34:43
they reveal unto me. A
34:45
hatch to what end? Got
34:47
secret powerful stuff inside it.
34:49
Some of his best stuff.
34:52
Okay yeah, give me, um... Let's
34:54
see, what would... Bug-eye? Yeah, give
34:56
me a Bug-eye check. By the
34:58
way, I remember the room, Travis.
35:00
Three successes, there's no way that's
35:02
true. Five, six, seven. No, there's
35:04
like a secret hatch with weapons
35:06
in it that's all got, had
35:08
like red light behind it. Cool.
35:10
There was a red and white
35:13
cupboard. Are you looking at the
35:15
scene right now, Mac? Yes. Okay,
35:17
fair, I am too. Yeah, it's
35:19
really cool. Tell me what cool
35:21
thing I find in the hatch
35:23
with my three successes. Um, you
35:25
find on... Sure, Roger, please! You find
35:27
on his desk a snow globe with
35:30
a little skyline of river city as
35:32
it was. I smash it open. The
35:34
secret is inside the snow globe. Well,
35:36
when you lift it up, it triggers
35:38
the hatch. You don't have to smash
35:40
it open. Oh, you still can
35:43
if you want to. Just to
35:45
be safe, I want to make
35:47
sure there's nothing inside the snow
35:49
globe that, like a key card
35:51
or a... S.D. Carter. A little
35:54
key. Do you guys want to
35:56
hear more things that would fit
35:58
in a snow globe? Okay, what
36:00
is the hat? Griffin, when you
36:03
suggested inventing reverse 20 questions, where
36:05
instead of asking questions, you would
36:07
just list all the things that
36:10
it isn't, I really didn't think
36:12
it would catch on, but this
36:14
is... It's going wildly. Yeah, man,
36:17
it's magnetic. When you pull it,
36:19
there is behind a bookcase, the
36:21
bookcase slides open, and you find...
36:24
I freaking new it! You find
36:26
a set of Dr. Kildev patented
36:29
armor. Okay. That is both very
36:31
thin and flexible, but has kind
36:33
of built in shock absorption to
36:36
it. Okay. To deflect some damage.
36:38
Okay. Does it, is it, is
36:40
it, is it, um, seal-sized? You
36:43
think like the shoulder pauldrons and
36:45
the chest piece could be, they're,
36:47
uh, laced. Okay. Now, threading. So
36:50
that you could fit them on.
36:52
Hey, can someone get me? Lace
36:54
me up. Yeah, absolutely. Okay. This
36:57
sort of clashes with my aesthetic.
36:59
Yeah, it definitely does. It has
37:02
pretty sharp points on the successes
37:04
for lacing up Griffin. Oh, yeah,
37:06
man. You'd lace the heck out
37:09
of it. What does that mean?
37:11
Do I have armor now? You
37:13
do. Oh, that's fantastic. You're going
37:16
to pick up one damage reduction
37:18
from your shoulder pauldrons and chest
37:20
bees. I love that. That's so
37:23
great. And you have kind of
37:25
a like a 90s bad guy
37:27
villain aesthetic. Villan aesthetic. That's less
37:30
great, but I'll take the damage
37:32
reduction for sure. Hey, Scuz! Did
37:34
you guys? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
37:37
You guys have any police around
37:39
here where you use, like, watch
37:42
flips, hang out? Oh, yeah, we
37:44
have, it's totally, yeah, follow me
37:46
this way. And you see the
37:49
lights light up down the hallway,
37:51
out of the room, and down
37:53
towards the laser disk screening room.
37:56
One more intersection down to the
37:58
map. but we won't stop the
38:00
movie. See you know. there were
38:03
strict rules regarding this. But you
38:05
do see. Why would he include
38:07
that? On the map, right? Yeah.
38:10
It seems like, man, you could
38:12
convey the information via a sign.
38:15
Yeah. Uh, yeah. You do see
38:17
a sign too. He was very
38:19
thorough. So Scuz. I'm sure kind
38:22
of long shot, man, but I
38:24
was hoping you might help me
38:26
look through your media collection here.
38:29
See if you might have some
38:31
copy of... or some footage or
38:33
some early dated something from the
38:36
Greenback Guardians pilot. Oh, the real
38:38
Greenback Guardian? Yeah, I know there
38:40
was only one copy, but throughout
38:43
the production I was hoping maybe
38:45
he would have been screening anywhere,
38:48
right? It would have been screening
38:50
here. So there's the one official
38:52
copy, but I don't know, I
38:55
was hoping maybe some sort of
38:57
thing might be here still, man.
38:59
I don't know, I don't, I
39:02
don't, um, give me a role
39:04
to observe what's going on to
39:06
read the situation, that kind of
39:09
deal. How many, let's see, um...
39:11
Yeah, give me 3DA role for
39:13
your, your powers of observation from
39:16
apps. Sorry, I forgot about Fragler's
39:18
power of limitless foresight. It's a
39:21
power I gave myself, where if
39:23
I'm about to make a major
39:25
mess up, I will harness the
39:28
power of thought and reconsider the
39:30
action in favor of a better
39:32
path. Awesome. Oh yeah. But Fragler's
39:35
power of limitless force like can
39:37
only activate when Lyle acts impulsively.
39:39
Is this the same day as
39:42
the one where you were saved
39:44
from? Yeah, this is a different
39:46
one. He's getting your butt hit.
39:49
I'm not using. I'm at a
39:51
metaphorical days. Yeah, yeah, interesting. It's
39:54
a 3D8 role for... Think he
39:56
made it? No, I haven't made
39:58
it yet. Okay,
40:01
two successes. Okay, yeah, with
40:04
two successes you see those
40:06
lights that have been moving
40:09
you like through the hallways
40:11
Kind of brighten around Lamar
40:14
and shift over to where
40:16
he's standing and He's listening
40:19
very intently to what you're
40:21
saying and and thinking about
40:24
it Lamar. Do you know something?
40:26
Uh, I mean we Hey, well,
40:28
Mars, if you're something you're
40:30
not telling us, man, this
40:32
takes just couldn't be higher.
40:34
I mean, yeah, Dr. Kildef
40:36
consulted on the pilot. He
40:38
was a major character in
40:40
it after all, so he
40:42
sent him, you know, some
40:44
test stuff to see if
40:46
he approved of his betrayal in
40:49
the show. Sure. So they
40:51
probably have some stuff like
40:53
that. Uh-huh. Why do you want
40:55
to see it? Nobody
40:57
seems to want anybody
40:59
to see it, but
41:02
nobody seems to know quite
41:04
why. And so I don't
41:06
know why I want to
41:08
see it, except for a
41:11
lot of people seem to
41:13
not want me to see
41:15
it. Doesn't that drive
41:17
you crazy? Yeah, man, um...
41:20
All right. Scuz... Yeah,
41:22
Mr. Lamar. Kew it
41:24
up. And you
41:26
hear a worrying life
41:28
go down and the
41:30
screen comes to life
41:32
and you see a
41:34
totally rad 90 late
41:37
90 style Animated opening
41:39
sequence come up And
41:41
the narration begins in
41:43
a world without heroes
41:45
Villains ruled and you
41:47
see like doctor kill
41:49
deaths like dark shadow
41:51
You know standing there
41:53
but one group of
41:55
animal heroes rose before them
41:57
all. And this, you see...
42:00
The little tortoises, little, you
42:02
know, normal-sized, normal, just tortoises,
42:04
crawling around a laboratory. When
42:06
physicists surgeon and extreme sports
42:08
enthusiast, Professor Dr. Barthman Rowe
42:10
was working on a way
42:12
to improve the quality of
42:14
crops around the world, he
42:16
had no idea the effect
42:18
it would have on his
42:20
pets. And you see Dr.
42:22
Barthman-Roe putting a burrito to
42:24
microwave, and starting it up,
42:26
but you notice he's forgotten
42:28
to unwrap the burrito, so
42:30
it's still in its silver
42:32
foil, with a lab accident.
42:34
involving these chemicals and it
42:36
flashes across the screen like
42:38
what the chemicals were as
42:40
there's an explosion from the
42:42
microwave and all the chemicals
42:44
spill in and you can
42:46
see on the beakers at
42:48
the different levels of like
42:50
how much was in them
42:52
as they're all measured beakers
42:54
spill onto the burrito. The
42:56
tortoises. They enjoyed some lunch.
42:58
Can you see the tortoises
43:00
like eating from the burrito?
43:02
and grew them into the
43:04
real greenback guardians and they
43:07
like morph into the powerful
43:09
heroes we know and love
43:11
Lamar loveless Newton and Carver
43:13
and Lamar now says like
43:15
yeah you can you could
43:17
stop there yeah um what's
43:19
after it I mean just
43:21
the rest of the first
43:23
time we kind of like
43:25
fought Dr. Keal death and
43:27
everything but... So you ate
43:29
a magic burrito? Well a
43:31
scientific burrito. Yeah scientific like
43:33
it was kind of like
43:35
a chemical laden like radiated
43:37
and tasty. Oh my god
43:39
I know why you didn't
43:41
want... pilot out. Anybody watching
43:43
this could recreate the accident
43:45
that gave you your powers.
43:47
Yeah, I was a little
43:49
too focused on the accuracy
43:51
of it and wanted it
43:53
to be like the real,
43:55
you know, like the real
43:57
story of the Greenback Guardians
43:59
and then like we showed
44:01
Dr. Kildef and he was
44:03
like, no, you shouldn't do
44:05
that. And like, Professor Dr.
44:07
Buck Monroe was like, I
44:09
don't think this is a
44:11
good, like we pulled it.
44:14
And but it was it
44:16
was a good pilot man
44:18
like I think people really
44:20
would have liked a show
44:22
and so like I didn't
44:24
want to like destroy it
44:26
or anything and But yeah,
44:28
it was it was maybe
44:30
not the best idea to
44:32
kind of list What the
44:34
chemicals were and maybe like
44:36
may have a clear shot
44:38
of like the measurements of
44:40
each one and stuff. Is
44:42
your the is the only
44:44
origin like this? Well, yeah,
44:46
man, after this, you know,
44:48
all the other animals came
44:50
from the convergence and so
44:52
we were pre-convergence and we're...
44:54
Are there... Sorry, what I'm
44:56
trying to get at is
44:58
like, are there similar methods
45:00
for the other Greenback Guardians
45:02
or is it just his
45:04
method? No, it's all four
45:06
of them. Okay. You see,
45:08
all Fort Tortises are eating
45:10
this extreme and now powerful
45:12
burrito to become... Right, okay,
45:14
so they all had the
45:16
same... Hey, I have a
45:18
weird question now. What happened
45:21
with the burrito? Oh, we
45:23
finished it. Oh, nice closing.
45:25
Yeah, man. It was good,
45:27
dude. It was like carnisada
45:29
and you know, so right
45:31
amount of spicy, but we're
45:33
like a lot of the
45:35
spices like flavor related and
45:37
not just heat? Had guacamole.
45:39
Well, someone could... who are
45:41
a first engineer a way
45:43
to make their own animals.
45:45
Would they need this footage
45:47
or is this something that
45:49
Like, could I do this
45:51
now, having watched it? I'm
45:53
not thinking of doing that,
45:55
but I'm trying to understand.
45:57
Well, ask Lamar. So, Lamar,
45:59
are you saying, are you
46:01
telling me that right now,
46:03
I could go and replicate
46:05
the science breeder? Well, no.
46:07
I mean, no, you'd still
46:09
be missing a part of
46:11
it. Which part, man? This
46:13
is why I'm... No, you
46:15
know what, actually? No, no,
46:17
Lamar don't tell me well,
46:19
it's important. No, but Lamar
46:21
don't tell me well, it's
46:23
important No, but Lamar don't
46:25
man. It seems like he
46:28
really wants to tell us
46:30
yeah, but like hey guys
46:32
It's not like that just
46:34
listen you asked the question
46:36
man if this is one
46:38
of those things where you
46:40
tell me and then I
46:42
know both parts and then
46:44
you kill me No, I'm
46:46
saying right now. Don't tell
46:48
you the part that's not
46:50
there, but not tell you
46:52
the part So you're
46:54
gonna tell me the part
46:56
that's not there, but not
46:59
not tell me what let
47:01
me answer you dude I'm
47:03
just starting to get that
47:05
punch build up now man
47:07
like nice keep that no
47:10
I don't want a punch
47:12
use it let's embrace your
47:14
dark side The other factor
47:16
you need to know is
47:18
the level of radiation from
47:21
the microwave explosion and the
47:23
only way to get that
47:25
is by like analyzing a
47:27
member of the Greenback Guardians
47:29
like DNA or makeup. That's
47:32
why I'm worried about Carver,
47:34
man. Okay. Yeah, knowing that,
47:36
I don't know how opposed
47:38
I am to this information
47:40
being out there, because I
47:42
feel like everyone should have
47:45
the choice whether or not
47:47
they want to become super-powered.
47:49
But if that information is
47:51
exclusively held by the Walris
47:53
or... Jack Boots? at River
47:56
City first, then that's worst
47:58
case scenario. Let me ask
48:00
you this, Lamar. Could they?
48:02
Possibly engineer this to create
48:04
an anti-abnamole effect? To turn
48:07
animals back to ordinary animals?
48:09
Well, I mean, I can
48:11
put your mind at ease
48:13
there, my dear. This is
48:15
unrelated, like, this is just
48:18
us. I guess maybe they
48:20
could... Do it to figure
48:22
out how to turn the
48:24
Greenback Guardians back, but we
48:26
we're you know retired now
48:28
and as far as most
48:31
people knew until recently Maybe
48:33
not even around anymore. So
48:35
I Guess you could if
48:37
you found a way to
48:39
like neutralize all the stuff
48:42
that was like powering the
48:44
current generation of animals you
48:46
could do it, but I
48:48
don't see how that would
48:50
be related to us More
48:55
things to think about What would
48:57
happen? Do you think if an
48:59
ammable if an abnable ate the
49:01
science burrito? Oh? If an Abnimal
49:04
ate the science burrito Man that
49:06
it might create a black hole
49:08
I have no idea I'm not
49:11
the science one man like cuz
49:13
man all I can think it's
49:15
like We should do this now.
49:17
I have some time and you
49:20
have the DNA like let's do
49:22
it You want to eat my
49:24
D&A? I mean with cilantro and
49:27
stuff like whatever else is in
49:29
it. Not just your D&A. Oh
49:31
my god. I'm saying let's fix
49:33
up a bit. Let's fix up
49:36
a batch of these scientific burritos
49:38
and give ourselves the edge we
49:40
need to make ourselves permanent members
49:43
of the amphibiforce. I mean, or
49:45
whatever we want to, you know?
49:47
I don't want a turtle to
49:49
grow out of my chest. Like
49:52
there's so- You don't even- You
49:54
don't even- No man! What if
49:56
that doesn't even happen? What if
49:59
it just makes your muscles big
50:01
and makes all the- See you
50:03
ladies, shake a double sake. Okay,
50:05
that all sounds great, but we
50:08
guys, there's something important here
50:10
that you guys are missing.
50:12
And I- That would be?
50:15
I hold up a box,
50:17
and I say, they got
50:19
Flubber on LaserDisc.
50:22
Oh, we could be
50:24
watching Flubber right now. Okay,
50:26
tell you what, let's take a
50:28
deal. Let's take a break. We're gonna watch
50:30
flubber and then we'll come back to this
50:33
exact conversation right now Put a pin in
50:35
it. Put a pin in it. Let's watch
50:37
flubber and then we'll come back and speak
50:40
on this This is like a huge conversation.
50:42
I want to come back with you guys,
50:44
but I would love to watch flubber and
50:46
just kind of like Center, you know, right
50:49
look look right next to it. What's that
50:51
son of flubber Son of flubber!
50:53
Yes, this is gonna be
50:55
the best afternoon ever, but
50:57
after this quick double feature
50:59
guys, let's promise ourselves exactly
51:01
back to this conversation right
51:03
now, because it seems hugely
51:05
important. Absolutely. But like, first
51:07
flubber, right? Yeah, absolutely. Let's
51:09
get a little popcorn going
51:11
on. And if by watching
51:13
flubber, we learn how to make flubber.
51:15
Oh matter. I look at skies. Is
51:17
that anything? No. Okay, well, we can
51:20
still enjoy the hydrinks. maximum
52:02
fun. A work-run network
52:04
of -owned shows, shows.
52:06
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52:08
by you.
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