The Adventure Zone: Abnimals Ep. 25: Grate Expectations!

The Adventure Zone: Abnimals Ep. 25: Grate Expectations!

Released Thursday, 3rd April 2025
 1 person rated this episode
The Adventure Zone: Abnimals Ep. 25: Grate Expectations!

The Adventure Zone: Abnimals Ep. 25: Grate Expectations!

The Adventure Zone: Abnimals Ep. 25: Grate Expectations!

The Adventure Zone: Abnimals Ep. 25: Grate Expectations!

Thursday, 3rd April 2025
 1 person rated this episode
Rate Episode

Episode Transcript

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0:00

In spite of what you've heard,

0:02

we're at the height of our

0:04

powers, the top of tallest towers,

0:06

the stairs. We'll never stop like

0:08

that. We can trust that we

0:10

will do a thing, but until

0:12

it's turning out just like a

0:15

plan. We shall grow. All this

0:17

long, but on road, Joe is

0:19

strong, and unless I'm wrong. And

0:21

I'm not, we're at the height

0:23

of our powers. The

0:41

elevator door is open and you

0:43

find yourselves in the start of

0:45

a tunnel leading to What you

0:47

hope is an entrance into the

0:49

RCF headquarters Before you can leave

0:52

the elevator a panel size open

0:54

and the light pops up inside

0:56

of it and you hear a

0:58

scud say wait hold on dudes

1:00

before you go. I know I

1:02

wasn't wildly helpful before apologies again

1:04

But I think this will really

1:06

help you when you get to

1:09

Carver give him this And you

1:11

see inside the panel, sealed

1:13

in a triangular Tupperware, a

1:15

perfectly cooked, ready to go

1:17

slice of supreme pizza, everything

1:19

on it, all the works.

1:22

So just so I'm clear

1:24

on sort of the, like

1:26

mechanics of what just happened,

1:28

this elevator has sort of

1:31

stored ready to go pizza

1:33

in the panel at all

1:35

times? No, it's a dumb waiter,

1:37

man. Doesn't seem to have

1:40

dumb to me, man. Well, it's just

1:42

called that. It's not it's not dumb.

1:44

It's just ingredient still like Considerable.

1:46

Oh, yeah, this is fresh pizza

1:48

man's ready to go. So there's

1:51

a dumb waiter in the elevator

1:53

Next to the construction of that's

1:55

really weird. Also you drugged and

1:58

kidnapped us. I'm mad at

2:00

you. Yeah, I know I

2:02

said, apologies, fair. Yeah, you

2:04

mean a lift? Is that

2:06

what you mean, fellows? Oh,

2:08

here he goes again. Dude

2:10

goes to London for one

2:12

weekend, comes back, holds up,

2:14

holds up, and it's buggies

2:16

and lifts. The door starts

2:18

to close. Oh, shoot, let's

2:20

go off to when you

2:22

say that. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

2:24

yeah, yeah, yeah. And as

2:26

you walk out of the

2:28

elevator and the door starts

2:30

to close behind you, you

2:33

hear it's going. Yeah. call

2:35

more of his kidnapping friends.

2:37

Can I do a quick

2:39

butcher's around this tunnel? Yeah,

2:41

Griffin needs a butcher's. Just

2:43

to make sure, I would

2:45

never deny you a butcher's.

2:47

It's dark, wait, is it

2:49

dark? It's a little dark,

2:51

yeah, it's a little dark,

2:53

yeah, it's a little dark,

2:55

yeah, it's a little dark,

2:57

yeah, it's a little dark.

2:59

Griffin, let me please have

3:01

a butcher. You take this,

3:03

but no, it's just a

3:06

just, Justin's butcherchers. I'm activating

3:08

my nocturno sense. It takes

3:10

a minute. He has these

3:12

heater cells in his eye

3:14

stock. There we go. Okay,

3:16

yeah, with two successes, there's

3:18

not really a lot of

3:20

notes to the tunnel. It's

3:22

not very long, but you

3:24

can hear near the end

3:26

of the tunnel. You see

3:28

light coming in through a

3:30

great above you with a

3:32

ladder leading up to it.

3:34

And you can hear the

3:36

sounds of like... low levels

3:38

of like keyboard clicking some

3:41

people kind of murmuring to

3:43

each other and some like

3:45

quiet kind of music playing

3:47

okay tell me more about

3:49

the great up above does

3:51

it look like it would

3:53

support weight what do you

3:55

mean like hanging from it

3:57

or walking on it walking

3:59

on it yeah it's it's

4:01

like a floor grate you

4:03

know it's Like listen if

4:05

it's a floor grate and

4:07

you can't walk on it.

4:09

We've got a big problem

4:11

Yeah, is that title? That

4:14

would be a structural issue.

4:16

Yeah, we got a huge

4:18

yeah, it's definitely like part

4:20

of the floor above you.

4:22

It's also above us there

4:24

Lionel Ritchie if you're planning

4:26

on doing some dancing right

4:28

on the ceiling. Yeah. Well

4:30

I'm just trying to think

4:32

of using my covert abilities

4:34

perhaps there would be some

4:36

advantage to me being up

4:38

in that great. Covering you

4:40

all. I get it. Listen.

4:42

Listen. Once we get up

4:44

there, there's going to be

4:46

bokees all around. Did you

4:49

guys study the handbook I

4:51

gave you about hand signals?

4:53

I don't want to be

4:55

pushy or bossy, but I

4:57

really feel like it would

4:59

be super helpful if we

5:01

were able to communicate non-verbally.

5:03

I say, yeah, I got

5:05

it pretty good. I stick

5:07

both of my thumbs to

5:09

the side. All right, see,

5:11

he's got it. I'll be

5:13

honest. I... I really couldn't

5:15

get through the first chapter.

5:17

I mean, the language was

5:19

nine pages, nine pages. I

5:22

know. That first page was

5:24

so loaded up. It was,

5:26

I tried, I really did.

5:28

I just had a lot

5:30

of trouble. We're following the

5:32

narrative. Such a great job.

5:34

I'm asking your accent. You're

5:36

blending in soon, incredibly well.

5:38

Well, I am a master

5:40

of voices, you know. Okay,

5:42

let's, let's peek our head

5:44

up. So yeah, games can

5:46

be fun. This is potterasing.

5:48

You're able to get a

5:50

peek out. You see the

5:52

RCFE lobby of their HQ.

5:54

You can see up in

5:57

the northwest corner another grate

5:59

in the ceiling this time.

6:01

More in the wall. Very

6:03

reachable. That's not the problem.

6:05

The problem is between you

6:07

and there, there are six

6:09

cybot security. guards. There are

6:11

two security guards at the

6:13

entry desk and two flanking

6:15

those and two at the

6:17

doorway to the south. Oh

6:19

boy. Now that's not all

6:21

you observe though because you

6:23

can hear a scuffle going

6:25

on outside of the two

6:27

front doors and Ann wants

6:29

Dr. Travis Barker. and Stan

6:32

peoples, which are the alter

6:34

egos of Loveless and Newton.

6:36

And they're shoving each other,

6:38

making a real show of

6:40

it as they approach the

6:42

desk. Hey, why are your

6:44

friends fighting out there? Do

6:46

they have like some sort

6:48

of secret beef that was

6:50

not widely publicized? I mean,

6:52

not that I know of,

6:54

dude, it's been a while.

6:56

And Loveless says... Yes, hello.

6:58

I, Dr. Travis Barker, would

7:00

like to have this man

7:02

arrested. He's, oh, he's a

7:05

real ne'er-do-well, who's been causing

7:07

all kinds of trouble in

7:09

my neighborhood. And Newton says,

7:11

what? That is, uh, not

7:13

true? I want to have

7:15

this man arrested, because he's

7:17

been swimming in my pool

7:19

without permission. Doing extremely bad.

7:21

I think we got to

7:23

work fast. Whatever we're doing

7:25

guys, I do not think

7:27

your subject is going well.

7:29

Have they attracted? Here I

7:31

was really admiring it. I

7:33

thought it was very convincing.

7:35

You see how they're scooching

7:37

in on them, man? Oh,

7:40

yeah. They are most certainly

7:42

drawing the attention of the

7:44

guards who are moving forward

7:46

and the guards at the

7:48

desk you can hear them

7:50

saying, um, yeah, this is

7:52

like The headquarters of the

7:54

whole RF. Like you wanna

7:56

go to the RCFE? I

7:58

hold two fingers up to

8:00

my forehead and look at

8:02

Roger. I say Roger. This

8:04

is the symbol for Roger.

8:06

Do you, two fingers on

8:08

the head, two fingers on

8:10

the head. Do you, I

8:13

point Adam, want to sneak,

8:15

and I do a little

8:17

sneaky motion up there and

8:19

see if you can get

8:21

a tactical and make like

8:23

a cool gun position. on

8:25

the scenario. Hey, not to

8:27

interrupt man, but like, using

8:29

the hand motions in conjunction

8:31

with speech, like, what is

8:33

the utility? Well, it's teaching,

8:35

teaching on the go, isn't

8:37

it? If I was doing

8:39

it with you, I wouldn't,

8:41

can we have this conversation

8:43

non-verbally because it might be

8:45

uncomfortable? Yeah, just start wiggling

8:48

hands around, yeah, pointing at

8:50

Roger like a lot and

8:52

shaking my head like, no.

8:54

Okay, all right man. Hey listen

8:56

that language is necessary man. We're

8:58

at a cloak and dagger sort

9:00

of environment But I will respect

9:02

the boundaries a little bit better.

9:04

You're right. I got heated Is

9:06

our ultimate goal to get past

9:08

that opening at the northern end

9:10

of the diagram? Well, there's another

9:13

gray it looks like yeah There's

9:15

another great, our goal is to

9:17

go up and rescue. Our ultimate

9:19

goal is to win souls for

9:21

Jesus Christ. To do that is

9:23

our ultimate goal. Yes. Our current,

9:25

like, you guys are going to

9:27

need to start yo-yoing real hard,

9:29

ripping some phone books in half.

9:31

We are, we are chick tracks

9:33

with shells. Okay, so if Roger

9:35

were to sneak, is there cover

9:37

for him to sneak or should

9:39

he... try to continue in this

9:41

lower level to see how far

9:43

he can get? So you are

9:45

as far as you can go

9:47

in the lower level. It is

9:49

open here. But you know that

9:51

Dr. Kildef had talked about tunnels

9:53

moving through the building, but not

9:55

knowing. Like it used to move

9:57

all the way through. You could

9:59

have moved straight through, but since

10:01

they have done a bunch of

10:03

renovations. It seems like from what

10:05

you can tell, coming to an

10:07

end rate here and a great

10:09

there, but they may have repurposed

10:11

this stuff for like HVAC ductwork.

10:13

So now there is not a

10:15

constant path, but these grades are

10:17

exactly the same in their making

10:19

design. So it would be safe

10:21

to guess that that is your

10:23

way to the next level unnoticed.

10:25

We have sneaky shortcuts, but we're

10:27

gonna run into some resistance here

10:29

and there, it seems like. Okay.

10:31

I will continue to sneak to

10:33

try to find the right path.

10:35

Is there anything that he can

10:37

see that he could plug the

10:39

Halekar hack into that might give

10:41

me an advantage in... Not from

10:43

here, but I will also say

10:45

that these columns all the way

10:47

around the perimeter of the room.

10:49

Yeah, and lots of shadows there.

10:51

So if you wanted to move

10:54

along the perimeter there, you would

10:56

have like an extra, let's say,

10:58

2D8, to your 2D8 rolling sinking.

11:00

Okay, I have an idea then.

11:02

Do you fellows have your earbuds

11:04

in or communication devices? I mean,

11:06

yeah, man, you can see that.

11:08

Top back and forth. Okay. I

11:10

am going to... Boy, this is

11:12

gonna be tough, because I usually

11:14

do it in the dark, but

11:16

I think I'm going to try

11:18

to do the night fox trot.

11:20

So you're gonna... And that means...

11:22

So you guys are gonna have

11:24

to give me a techno bead

11:26

just in the earbuds. Okay, so

11:28

I can do my fluid, acrobatic,

11:30

tumbling dance like the French dude

11:32

in Ocean's 12. Yes, a common

11:34

reference point. Yes, to sneak. To

11:36

sneak north. Well, I'm not getting

11:38

any cell signal in here. So,

11:40

uh, I guess just like... Futs,

11:42

outs, outs, outs, outs, outs, outs,

11:44

outs. Good, oh, that's good. Now

11:46

what are you gonna do? Sorry

11:48

wait, I did just want to

11:50

make it clear. I didn't get

11:52

to repeat the pattern But I

11:54

did get a handle the ball.

11:56

I do want the record to

11:58

show that I did get a

12:00

gotta get up in there In

12:02

there I didn't get more than

12:04

one, but I did get one

12:06

in I think you have total

12:08

opportunity to add to that because

12:10

I don't think I will. Oh

12:12

yeah, I think you should but

12:14

I did Okay, so you've got

12:16

to get up. That's it That's

12:18

all you get. That's all you

12:20

need. Yeah, I need to hear

12:22

it though. I mean, you can

12:24

sample them. Just sample them. Just

12:26

sample it. Don't make me do

12:28

it over and over again. Just

12:30

do it once. Just do it

12:32

once. Okay, got to get up.

12:35

Okay, that should be enough. Please

12:37

go. Okay, all right. Did you

12:39

sample it? Did you sample it?

12:41

Okay, that should be enough. Please

12:43

go. Okay, all right. All right.

12:45

All right, did you sample? All

12:47

right. All right. All right. All

12:49

right. All right. All right. All

12:51

right. All right. All right. Did

12:53

you. Did you. Did you. Did

12:55

you. Did you. Did you. Did

12:57

you. Did you. Did you. Did

12:59

you. Did you. Did you. Did

13:01

you. Did you. Did you. Did

13:03

you. Did you. Did you. Did

13:05

you. Did you. Give me a

13:07

5D8 roll demon dad clean idea

13:09

wow idea wow 587 yeah so

13:11

with a 587 you are able

13:13

to like like a liquid shadow

13:15

flow bend twist Jump dance curve.

13:17

It's amazing You're able to make

13:19

it back behind the south column

13:21

here. You've got or north column

13:23

You've got an eye on the

13:25

situation you can see everybody is

13:27

now kind of focused on Loveless

13:29

and Newton as they're kind of

13:31

shoving is Escalating the guards are

13:33

trying to explain to them like

13:35

this isn't the place for this.

13:37

We're gonna need to ask you

13:39

to leave Cool I'm very pleased

13:41

with that Can we make eye

13:43

contact with Roger and try to

13:45

use his position to sneak you

13:47

know regroup with him more effectively?

13:49

Yeah, now that Roger is in

13:51

position, he is going to be

13:53

able to give you guys advantage

13:55

on that seeking to tell you

13:57

when people are... fully focused survivor

13:59

style on the list of news.

14:01

Survivor channel. Survivor channel. Yeah. Okay.

14:03

Um, cool. Well, um, hey, do

14:05

you want to go next? I'm

14:07

sort of the biggest boy left

14:09

down here, so I don't want

14:11

to blow it like right now.

14:13

Yeah, that's fair man. I'll try

14:16

to sneak over there. How sticky

14:18

are you? Can you like climb

14:20

on walls and stuff? That's such

14:22

a rude question, man. You're right.

14:24

How sticky am I? Go, go

14:26

pound sand, man. Super messed up.

14:28

Oh, I'm pretty sticky some of

14:31

the time. I didn't even ask

14:33

because I would never. You're right.

14:35

You're right. You're right. Okay. I'm

14:37

going to. Well, you said we

14:39

have an advantage? Yes. This would

14:42

normally be 3D8 for your absice,

14:44

but with Roger and position and

14:46

the timing, it's gonna give you

14:48

5D8. Well, actually, Travis. I have

14:50

extreme hiding using camouflage to hide

14:52

in the environment so I normally

14:55

have 5-8 but I have 78.

14:57

Go for it. Do you even

14:59

have a button for that? You

15:01

don't even have a button? I've

15:03

never anticipated someone being that skilled.

15:05

Wow. I have a double eights.

15:08

That's a mega cow bunga. You're

15:10

able to, without stopping and just

15:12

with perfect lending into shadows, it's

15:14

almost like as you... I want

15:16

to walk in front of them.

15:19

Okay, that's what I want. I

15:21

want to walk in front of

15:23

it. Just flexing. It's just through,

15:25

like through in between. Yeah, you

15:27

just make a straight line, like

15:29

moving a night almost, or... I

15:32

want to blow in his ear

15:34

like made Marian in the Kevin

15:36

Costa Robin Hood, you know what

15:38

I mean? You do that, one

15:40

of the cybots, you tap on

15:42

his shoulders, he moves, and he

15:45

turns to the cybot next to

15:47

him and kind of pushes them,

15:49

says, I told you, not to

15:51

mess with me, Doug. And you

15:53

are able to make it there

15:56

with a plum. I turn to

15:58

the side and I'm like, Lyle,

16:00

I just want to say I'm

16:02

sorry, but whoa, where did he

16:04

go? Oh my God, you're already

16:06

over there. You see that he

16:09

is only half listening to you

16:11

as he is mostly paying attention

16:13

to you. You see that he

16:15

is only half listening to you

16:17

as he is mostly paying attention

16:19

to what is going on with

16:22

Loveless and Newton and he is.

16:24

lighting, he's like engaging with that

16:26

in a way that it's been

16:28

a while, you haven't seen him

16:30

in your time with him, be

16:33

that kind of locked in and

16:35

focused in a very serious way.

16:37

Hey man, are you okay? Oh

16:39

yeah, it's been, I'm, they're my

16:41

guy, you know what I mean?

16:43

Like, it's been a while since

16:46

I've seen them and, you know,

16:48

like, I have so many notes

16:50

I could give them on what

16:52

they're doing wrong. And I... Hey

16:54

man, is that how your guy's

16:57

relationship is always sort of gone?

16:59

No, no, no. It's just, you

17:01

know, like, as a leader, it's

17:03

usually, like, the strategy is kind

17:05

of my thing, and then, the,

17:07

like, executing and being just absolute

17:10

wild and fun and everything is,

17:12

like, their thing, and I'm just,

17:14

like, missing that dynamic so much

17:16

right now, you know what I

17:18

mean? Do you... I know we're

17:20

in a rush here, but this

17:23

feels like a great time for

17:25

intervention. Based on some of my

17:27

own sort of learnings over the

17:29

past year or so, do you

17:31

think they like that dynamic? Huh.

17:34

Well, I mean, everybody likes a

17:36

strong leader, right? Not to the

17:38

point where you don't listen and

17:40

encourage them to follow their... their

17:42

dreams and take on new skills

17:44

and new challenges and grow as

17:47

people. If you always tell them

17:49

exactly what to do, then how

17:51

are they supposed to get any

17:53

better? Oh man. Also you're not

17:55

really leaving yourself any room to

17:57

have fun and go crazy. And

18:00

that's like the best part of

18:02

being an abnormal. Huh? Why don't

18:04

you get out there man? Out

18:06

there? Yeah, I mean once the

18:08

three of us go up and

18:11

rescue carver and sort of go,

18:13

you know, beast mode, it's gonna

18:15

get pretty wild and your friends

18:17

might have a little trouble fending

18:19

off these 12 dudes. So, it

18:21

seems like the thing to do,

18:24

I'm pretty sure the three of

18:26

us can handle the assent without

18:28

you. Honestly,

18:31

I love that man. Also,

18:33

I'm really bad at sneaking.

18:35

And so any extra distraction

18:37

that I can get would

18:39

be like so great for

18:41

me. Okay, good luck man.

18:43

I'll cover you. Okay. He

18:45

steps out and just goes

18:47

behind the column nearest the

18:50

grade. Can I try and

18:52

simultaneously like while he goes

18:54

south to meet up with

18:56

this boys, like try to

18:58

go north to meet up

19:00

with my boys? Yeah, 100%

19:02

and you get an extra

19:04

two D8. to your app

19:06

rolls. Okay, so it's gonna

19:08

be 48 total. Here we

19:10

go. Ooh, two successes, eight

19:12

and a second. Oh yeah,

19:14

it's, listen, it's not the

19:16

liquid shadow of Roger. It's

19:18

not like invisible clear wind

19:20

like, like, uh, like actual

19:22

aisle. But you, you know,

19:24

with a lot of stops

19:26

and starts as the two

19:28

of them are like now.

19:30

Now, okay wait, wait, you're

19:32

able to make it back

19:34

there. Guys, I did it!

19:36

I snuck all the way

19:38

over here and I didn't

19:40

get caught. That's never happened

19:42

before. Now, at this point,

19:44

you see that the guards

19:46

at the desk are getting

19:48

very agitated as Loveless and

19:50

Newton are kind of no

19:52

longer listening to them and

19:54

just trying to draw as

19:56

much gentures as they can.

19:58

And one of the guard

20:00

says, I'm going to have...

20:02

a call up about this

20:04

and picks up the phone

20:06

and you see a boomerang

20:08

slice through the phone cable

20:10

yes and stick into the

20:12

desk and now to me

20:14

get a little less talking

20:16

to myself for once I'm

20:18

going to have you guys

20:20

take over playing as the

20:22

greenback guardians so Newton says

20:24

what is Newton says what

20:26

is Newton says I think

20:28

we're, uh, I think we're

20:30

interrupting this little scene to

20:32

do our own, dude. And

20:34

as the three of you,

20:36

I assume, make your way

20:38

to the vent. Yes. We

20:40

can't be in the same

20:43

space as other characters that

20:45

we may or may not

20:47

be controlled. There's a universe

20:49

with him. Yeah. Yeah. Lamar,

20:51

as played by Justin. That's

20:53

me. That is not how

20:55

Lamar sounds like you've never.

20:57

I know, but I needed

20:59

to put my own spin

21:01

on him. You know, you

21:03

get the jump on these

21:05

guards. What do you do?

21:07

I, oh, what do I

21:09

do? Well, that's interesting, Travis.

21:11

I'm gonna, I'm gonna, um...

21:13

I'm going to use, I'm

21:15

going to use Lamar's battle

21:17

awareness. I feel like this

21:20

is a really good opportunity

21:22

where we've got the element

21:24

of surprise, but I don't

21:26

want to take like an

21:28

aggressive action, but I would

21:30

like to prepare myself to

21:32

defend from attacks should the

21:34

opposition get frisked. Okay, great.

21:36

Roll 5-8 for me for

21:38

battle awareness. All right. I

21:42

was going to look at to

21:44

see if you had for some

21:46

reason put time to shine dice

21:48

on these guys. All these extra

21:50

gear. These guys are real briefy.

21:52

Yeah. Eight and a five are

21:55

my successes here. Yeah, with two

21:57

successes, the first thing that's going

21:59

to happen from the opponents, the

22:01

two guards on either. side of

22:03

Loveless and Newton are going to

22:06

take a swing at them with

22:08

their stun batons. Okay, I pants

22:10

on both. Yeah, both? Okay, cool.

22:12

They go to reach for their

22:14

stun batons and they both find

22:16

that their pants are on the

22:19

ground. Amazing. So you have a

22:21

mondo move called like the wind

22:23

that I think applies here? Okay.

22:25

Yeah, I think that that's fair.

22:27

So that's 68 for that mondo

22:29

move. If he can get behind

22:32

cover into shadow he's able to

22:34

move with light and speed to

22:36

a different location and potentially cause

22:38

his opponent to lose track of

22:40

him I'm going to or their

22:43

pants or their pants. Yeah, you

22:45

got a you got a cow

22:47

bunga in there 755 as your

22:49

success is So you are able

22:51

to like the wind move pants

22:53

guard number one pants guard number

22:56

two Before they even realize what's

22:58

going on loveless and Newton Throw

23:00

off their Barker and stand disguises

23:02

and they are overjoyed to see

23:04

you dude What are you doing

23:07

here Lamar? I'm just trying to

23:09

keep you guys alive. I thought

23:11

that you were we were we

23:13

were doing pretty good dude. I

23:15

thought you didn't do violent stuff

23:17

anymore That wasn't finally. It was

23:20

just regular bullying Normal I have

23:22

a really great cookish guys. Yeah,

23:24

those two guards embarrassed and needing

23:26

a chance to pull their pants

23:28

up. Well, is there something you

23:30

wanted to do to these two

23:33

confused guards? Are they the ones

23:35

that... Okay, those are the two

23:37

who got pants. No, that's fine.

23:39

You can go ahead and move

23:41

them out of the way. Yeah,

23:44

they step off to the side

23:46

to try to get their pants

23:48

back up. Yeah. It was a

23:50

pretty good pantsing though, so it

23:52

was going to take them. It

23:54

was going to take them. Take

23:57

out every single one of these

23:59

haters. I said, I

24:01

said we do it man, come

24:03

on! And I just want to

24:06

say to you fellas, thank you

24:08

for being patient while we had

24:11

our reunion here. It's been a

24:13

long time since the three of

24:15

us, well, four, but you all

24:18

have Carver under arrest, so the

24:20

three of us have been able

24:22

to really do team up stuff,

24:25

and well, just thanks. Well, I

24:27

mean, listen, this is the first

24:30

time anyone who's seen any of

24:32

the Greenback Guardians outside of, like,

24:34

immediate friends and family. Okay. So

24:37

there's definitely a moment of, like,

24:39

not only is one of them

24:42

here, but three of the four

24:44

are here. They were definitely not

24:46

expecting that today. Okay. So, and

24:49

one of them just panced two

24:51

of them. So there's definitely. What

24:54

an honor. What an honor that

24:56

must be. Can we do that

24:58

camera swoop around us, you know,

25:01

like in the Avengers movie? Sure,

25:03

this is theater of the mine.

25:05

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Dad. Hey,

25:08

Dad. Or should we say that

25:10

for when. Treat yourself to two

25:13

camera swoops. Yeah. You want to.

25:15

Well. This is important. This is

25:17

important. Justin. Clockwise. Clockwise. Then counter

25:20

clockwise. Yeah. And then we saved

25:22

the second one for when we

25:25

reunited with Carver. Great. We'll save

25:27

that one. So, yeah. We can't

25:29

use that music though. We can't

25:32

use that music though. Yeah, dad?

25:34

Camera swoops, you can't train water

25:37

clean silence. I tried to keep

25:39

it under 10 seconds. Well, we

25:41

could do. What about, what about

25:44

some, maybe like, dum, dum, dum,

25:46

dum, dum, dum, dum, dum. It's

25:49

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25:51

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28:24

Wednesday, Thursday, or Friday. We're going

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28:28

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28:31

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28:33

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28:35

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in Raleigh, North Carolina, doing My

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28:51

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And 10% of all merge proceeds

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and supported. So go check that

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out. at macroymerch.com macroy.family for all

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the other info and back to

30:13

the show. A special thank you

30:15

to the Max Fund members who

30:17

joined boosted or upgraded their membership

30:19

during this year's Max Fund drive

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to maximum fun.org/pen sale. And as

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your ongoing support. Since 2017, Maximum

30:59

Film has had the same slogan.

31:01

The podcast that's not just a

31:04

bunch of straight white guys. Oh,

31:06

we've learned something over the years.

31:08

Some people out there really do

31:10

not like that slogan. Listen, we

31:13

love straight white guys. Well, some

31:15

of them. But if there's one

31:17

thing we can't change, it's who

31:19

we are. I'm Ife. A comedian

31:21

who was on strike last year

31:24

in two different unions. I'm Dreya.

31:26

I've been a producer and film

31:28

festival programmer for decades. And I'm

31:30

Alonzo, a film critic who literally

31:33

wrote the book on queer Hollywood.

31:35

week on maximum film. We may

31:37

not be straight white guys, but

31:39

we love movies and we know

31:41

what we're talking about. Listen to

31:44

maximum film on maximum fun or

31:46

wherever you listen to podcasts. All

31:48

right, loveless, Newton, you have a

31:50

free round here thanks to pantsing,

31:52

bullying, dend it again. All right,

31:55

so what are you guys gonna

31:57

do to these haters? I would

31:59

like to do two actions. First,

32:01

there's a skill I have called

32:03

it's all math to me, where

32:06

I'm able to utilize angles, trajectory,

32:08

force moments, and other physics concepts

32:10

to pull off stunts. So I

32:12

would like to flip over the

32:14

desk to sort of land in

32:16

the middle of this big group

32:19

of robots. Amazing. If I may

32:21

do so. Yeah, give me a

32:23

5-8 role. That's three successes, including

32:25

a cowbunga. Oh yeah, not only

32:27

do you pull this stunt off

32:29

beautifully, but it does stun the

32:32

two that are standing together,

32:34

the one that got tapped on the

32:36

shoulder and dug his tormentor. Yeah. Wow,

32:38

I just did a stunt so impressive

32:41

that it impressed a robot. Yeah, it's

32:43

done. It's pretty well the fourth of

32:45

your landing. It's all possible at these

32:47

and this was not one. So now

32:50

that I have the attention of the

32:52

robots, I'm going to reach over and

32:54

grab the one closest to the desk

32:56

here on the left side. And I'm

32:59

going to use snapping turtles, powerful jaws

33:01

that can cut through ropes, wire, and

33:03

other objects, the thick of the object

33:05

elest ice. And I just want to

33:07

start to bite his neck. Clean

33:09

off Clean off clean off. Yeah, yeah,

33:12

yeah, yeah, yeah, robots. They don't I'm

33:14

so old I mean they have wires

33:16

and stuff so yeah 100% It's a

33:18

bundle of wires so instead of five

33:20

D8 roll 48, but otherwise go for

33:22

it. Okay That's two successes.

33:24

Oh, yeah, man you buy that

33:27

robot's head off Yeah, yeah, I

33:29

think it activates a D you

33:31

don't think of a turtle as

33:33

being a particularly violent animal, but

33:35

it does I think you I

33:38

think you catch loveless in a

33:40

state of, you know, primal glee,

33:42

primal satisfaction, and a primal pleasure.

33:44

I just want to look around

33:46

at the other robots with this

33:49

robot head kind of dangling out

33:51

of my mouth, like stung. The

33:53

robot body without the guidance

33:55

of the head moves around and

33:58

is kind of like flailing. Definitely

34:00

not a threat currently. You

34:02

have a head of a

34:04

robot dangling from your jaws.

34:06

The others are definitely wary

34:08

of you, okay? And Newton,

34:11

you are up. There's a

34:13

guard right in front of

34:15

him. Newton spins on him,

34:17

turns on him with a

34:19

very, I think, aggressive expression,

34:21

his face. He's gonna use

34:23

distracting catchphrases where I come

34:25

up with a radical phrase

34:27

or word when attacking can

34:29

stun an opponent. There may

34:32

as well Travis have been

34:34

nothing else on the characters.

34:36

I know that was that

34:38

was a little wrapped present

34:40

that I gave to. Yeah,

34:42

and so he charges at

34:44

him and yells out, Testadines

34:46

are super fine. What's that

34:48

even, what's that mean? Well

34:50

kids back in the 80s

34:53

would have known test to

34:55

die. They were yeah, those

34:57

are turtles. Yeah, okay That's

34:59

a scientific name for for

35:01

turtles and which guard is

35:03

this the one over the

35:05

desk or the one to

35:07

the east one right next

35:09

to it to the east?

35:12

Okay, good The guy pulling

35:14

up his pants again test

35:16

to dines are super fine

35:18

every garden the room is

35:20

like, what's that? What's that?

35:22

Azzardine is a turtle man.

35:24

Okay, give me an attack

35:26

on him. Are you attacking

35:28

with your boomerang? I think

35:30

in the spirit of things

35:33

it would be like with

35:35

my shell. Okay, great. Yeah,

35:37

give me a 48 roll.

35:39

Okay. Well, so with that's

35:41

one damage and he does

35:43

have one damage reduction with

35:45

like body armor, but he

35:47

is also currently in the

35:49

process of rebuckling his his

35:51

pants. So that one hit

35:54

is enough to stun him

35:56

with your powerful catchphrase. So

35:58

he is currently out of

36:00

the fight. Can one of

36:02

the guards, can one of

36:04

the guards be like, oh

36:06

it's actually Testudanese? Oh is

36:08

it really? Yeah. Just for

36:10

the future. It doesn't work.

36:12

It doesn't run. No, it

36:15

is. I actually majored in

36:17

biology. I've been saying testidines

36:19

for like, you know, months.

36:21

I mean, the good news

36:23

is like not a lot

36:25

of people major in biology.

36:27

And so like people probably,

36:29

I mean, their first reaction

36:31

is probably confusion, but then

36:34

like, I don't think anyone's

36:36

gonna correct to besides me.

36:38

Just for the future. It

36:40

doesn't work. It doesn't run.

36:42

No. All right. So one

36:44

of the guards moves up

36:46

to attack Lamar. He gets

36:48

four hits, but Lamar has

36:50

a damage resistance of four.

36:52

So it does not hurt

36:55

Lamar. Bounces off of his

36:57

shield and he shell, leaving

36:59

him untouched. And then one

37:01

of the guards is going

37:03

to attack Newton. Well, it's

37:05

just two hits that can't

37:07

be blocked. So there's two.

37:09

Let's see. Yeah, that's two

37:11

damage. You got two eights.

37:13

So the damage reduction does

37:16

not apply and Newton takes

37:18

two damage. And then one

37:20

of the robots steps up

37:22

to attack Loveless. The others

37:24

are still a little too

37:26

wary or stunned or wailing

37:28

around. This is a brave

37:30

little toaster here. Oh my

37:32

god. Oh yeah, so that

37:35

would be five hits. I

37:37

have two damage resist. Two

37:39

damage resist, so you would

37:41

take three damage. Okay. This

37:43

was just one robot that

37:45

did this? Yeah. Wow, okay,

37:47

which one is it just

37:49

so I know for my

37:51

retribution? The one, the one

37:53

that just stepped up from

37:56

the west. Okay, great. And

37:58

now we're gonna jump to

38:00

the next four. I don't

38:02

even wanna play his navy.

38:04

He's not as strong as

38:06

the other, oh wait, never

38:08

mind. Yeah, I definitely wanna

38:10

play his navy right now.

38:12

Yeah. Yeah. You come up

38:14

through the great. and I'll

38:17

give you a chance to

38:19

peek around if you want

38:21

if anybody wants to roll

38:23

to have a blitchers. I

38:25

would be glad. Too bright

38:27

for me to use my

38:29

incredible senses guys! Ah! What

38:31

is this butcher's thing? Have

38:33

a look around! The fact

38:35

that you couldn't... At some

38:38

point, Griffin and me and

38:40

Travis, probably for the boys!

38:42

I don't know why. Yeah,

38:44

yeah. It became a vocal

38:46

stem for all three of

38:48

us at the same time.

38:50

I don't know why we

38:52

have to say butcher's eight

38:54

times a day. But we

38:57

all say butcher's all the

38:59

time. Okay. I'm gonna butcher

39:01

this. Well, it's not the

39:03

context. Why? It said butcher.

39:05

You're gonna have a butcher's.

39:07

Or taker butcher, right? Okay,

39:09

Griffin has already rolled anyway,

39:11

so he got really successful

39:13

including cow bunga So my

39:15

bug eyes are so bug

39:18

bugged out that I can

39:20

like poke it through the

39:22

hole in the great Yeah,

39:24

you just the two bug

39:26

eyes poke out through the

39:28

great Uh-huh, and you can

39:30

see this is a very

39:32

fancy RCF boardroom And the

39:34

only occupants are one a

39:36

cybot but you can tell

39:39

from your butchers in like

39:41

full hospitality mode not security

39:43

mode and only one person

39:45

sitting at the table and

39:47

it is in fact Golden

39:49

Seal your father can I

39:51

are they are they in

39:53

the middle of a conversation

39:55

no it seems like the

39:58

cybodies they are waiting on

40:00

Golden Seal like Golden Seal

40:02

is waiting for something. Or

40:04

something. Okay. Can I try

40:06

to siren song and make

40:08

the internet noise to try

40:10

to hack into this robot?

40:12

I would like to know

40:14

why my dad is here

40:16

and I don't think I'm

40:19

gonna get a straight answer.

40:21

If me, his son pops

40:23

out and starts interrogating him.

40:25

You absolutely can. So I

40:27

would like a little bit

40:29

of context. So how are

40:31

we on Time to Shine?

40:33

Oh, okay, I see. I

40:35

won't use one on this

40:37

because I don't know how

40:40

effective this is going to

40:42

be, but here we go.

40:44

Siren song, 38. One success.

40:46

So with one success, you

40:48

are able to kind of

40:50

tap in. You don't have

40:52

control of the robot. Okay.

40:54

But if you want to.

40:56

kind of make it answer

40:58

a couple questions. Sure, sure.

41:01

Communicated via your siren song,

41:03

I think you get like

41:05

two answers out of it.

41:07

So I can ask questions

41:09

for him? Yes. Okay. Um.

41:11

To optimize the scheduling of

41:13

RCF staff, would you please

41:15

remind me who it is

41:17

that you are waiting on?

41:20

Well. Yes, of course, I'm

41:22

here to meet with Walter

41:24

Russell to finalize the deal

41:26

of installing a base in

41:28

the ocean on RCFE base

41:30

in New Zealand. That's the

41:32

capital of the seal kingdom,

41:34

New Zealand. Yeah, everyone knows

41:36

that. Follow up with one

41:38

follow-up question, if I may.

41:41

I know that I am

41:43

just a humble robot and

41:45

that I should not be

41:47

interrogating yes of RCF, but

41:49

I am very curious do

41:51

you ever regret the way

41:53

that you treated your Sun

41:55

Navy SEAL in how he

41:57

was exiled from your team?

42:00

That's a very personal question,

42:02

young robot. Hey robot, will you

42:05

ask my dad too? It's

42:07

me just a mackerel. I'm

42:09

as long as... But since it's

42:11

just you and me and

42:13

you're just a robot, I'll

42:15

be honest with you. I'm tough

42:18

on him, but it's only

42:20

because I'm disappointed in him.

42:22

He simply does not... He doesn't

42:24

share the same zeal for

42:26

rampant... Uh, you know, monarchialed

42:28

capitalism? That I feel, I had

42:30

assumed that he would one

42:32

day be my heir, but

42:34

he's just not, you know, kind

42:37

of like bloodthirsty or money

42:39

hungry enough for me. I'm

42:41

gonna launch myself out of the

42:43

great and just storm into

42:45

the room. Okay. I don't

42:47

want your life, dad. Okay, I

42:50

wasn't going to give it

42:52

to you. What are you

42:54

doing here? I guess I know

42:56

that because I hacked into

42:58

the robot to... Is the

43:00

robot alarmed by my presence? In

43:03

full hospitality mode is actually

43:05

making its way over with

43:07

a tray of drinks and offers

43:09

you an option of like,

43:11

do you want, you know,

43:13

kind of sparkling water or bottled

43:15

water or tap? And yes,

43:17

okay, good you want there?

43:19

I could deflorite it. No, no,

43:22

I love it. Uh, love

43:24

that's okay. Yeah? I Don't

43:26

know how to break this to

43:28

you, but you're on the

43:30

bad guy team right now.

43:32

What? God, wouldn't it be nice

43:35

if somebody came to you

43:37

in your actual life and

43:39

can make things that clear? Yeah,

43:41

wouldn't you love that like,

43:43

hey, actually, you're on the

43:45

bad guy team, you should switch.

43:47

The archive is the bad

43:49

guy team and Walter Russell

43:52

is like the king of the

43:54

bad guys. See, this is

43:56

your problem. You think in

43:58

morality terms? I

44:00

think in morale, what are

44:02

you thinking in? Well, the

44:05

RCF will establish an RCF

44:07

VQ in New Zealand, they'll

44:09

take over kind of the

44:12

day-to-day, you know, running and

44:14

criminal stuff, running, taking care

44:16

of criminals, and then we

44:18

can give back to what

44:21

is important. Which is... Selling

44:23

off... Oh, selling off parts

44:25

of the ocean to outside

44:28

interest, to make money and

44:30

gain power. It's a full-proof

44:32

plan. You gotta admit. Oh,

44:35

my friends are here. Hey.

44:37

Hello. Hi. You remember? Remember

44:39

us? Yes, of course. The

44:42

cowman? Uh, are you the

44:44

sticky one? That's not... Hey,

44:46

wow! Wow! Wow! See, once

44:48

that gets out! How's the

44:51

apple hot? It looks pretty

44:53

close to the flipping tree,

44:55

man! Lyle for real. I'm

44:58

sorry about early. I really

45:00

I really am. Hey for

45:02

real. I forgive you man.

45:05

Just remember you've got to

45:07

be carefully taught. I know

45:09

you don't come by that

45:12

or you had that you

45:14

had that educated Where are

45:16

you going robot? Can I

45:19

offer you a sparkling water

45:21

or bottled water or cap?

45:23

Okay, here is a bottle

45:25

of water Gosh, why we

45:28

have a second guys? Why

45:30

does sparkling water have to

45:32

taste so bad? Normally I

45:35

like fizzy things, right? Mm-hmm.

45:37

Yeah, what is that? I

45:39

think it's it's got like

45:42

nickel in it or something.

45:44

Hard pass. Yeah, do you

45:46

have orbits? I do. The

45:49

last bottle in existence. It's

45:51

a fine vintage. H to

45:53

a trickly syrup. The sediment

45:55

is the best part. With

45:58

the little boy still intact.

46:00

They've gained sentions at this

46:02

point. Oh no. They've started

46:05

their own society. Well then

46:07

I'll hold on to this,

46:09

puts it in his... Darn

46:12

it! That was a joke

46:14

and now dad's got it

46:16

in his inventory. And you

46:19

know he's gonna use it.

46:21

Yeah, a glass of orbits

46:23

with sentient balls. We're on

46:26

a mission at the very

46:28

least. I hope you can

46:30

respect that. Of course. Are

46:32

you being paid? We never

46:35

really get paid for the

46:37

stuff we do. It's mostly

46:39

we do it for for

46:42

the vine and we do

46:44

it for what is right

46:46

and what is good. And

46:49

right now the R. C.

46:51

F. has unlawfully captured carver

46:53

of the Greenback Guardians. Okay.

46:57

And we're gonna go put

46:59

a stop to that. I

47:01

need to know now if

47:03

that's gonna put us at

47:06

odds. Hmm. Roll? Let's see.

47:08

I'm going to give you

47:10

the option of what you

47:12

would like to roll with

47:14

here. Are you rolling to

47:17

gauge against your relationship with

47:19

your father or... Roll against

47:21

what you know about your

47:23

father. Hmm. I think it's

47:25

a long shot. I think

47:28

the obvious play would be

47:30

to appeal to his, um,

47:32

you know, his business acumen,

47:34

his practicality, but I don't

47:36

think that's the way that

47:39

I want this to go.

47:41

I am going to... I

47:43

am I am going to

47:45

ask him as his as

47:48

his son if if this

47:50

is going to be a

47:52

confrontation or not. I want

47:54

to put the ball in

47:56

his court. This is not

47:59

an aggressive move. This may

48:01

in fact be a baby

48:03

dollized mondo move. I think

48:05

that is the that is

48:07

the thing I want to

48:10

to attack here. Yeah, use

48:12

your baby doll eyes. Give

48:14

me a 5D8 role to

48:16

gauge where things stand with

48:18

your father. 666, six, six,

48:21

six, baby. Oh man. Um,

48:23

with that, your father sizes

48:25

you up and says, hmm,

48:27

so you're saying you've scuttled

48:30

a deal in order to

48:32

reach your own ends? I

48:34

mean, I guess so, that's

48:36

a really wild way of

48:38

thinking about it, but yeah?

48:41

Hmm. I do respect that.

48:43

You know, I may not

48:45

respect you as my son.

48:47

In fact, I'm gonna go

48:49

so far as to say

48:52

I don't but Perhaps as

48:54

a competitor as a business

48:56

rival Hmm bold son bold

48:58

Thanks, so can we go?

49:00

Are you gonna raise an

49:03

alarm or are you going

49:05

to? I don't see how

49:07

that would benefit me at

49:09

all Can you imagine? If

49:12

they found out that I

49:14

was here and my son,

49:16

or was trying to cause

49:18

trouble, I'll tell you what,

49:20

son, with all the love

49:23

I have in me for

49:25

you, I will allow you

49:27

to go forth and fail

49:29

on your own, so that

49:31

I can continue on with

49:34

my deal unimpeded. Great, thanks,

49:36

Todd. Will you be over

49:38

Sunday for dinner, or... Will

49:40

I be, have I been

49:42

over for any recent Sunday

49:45

dinners? No, but you were

49:47

here and I thought it

49:49

would save me a ten.

49:51

I don't want to, you

49:54

know, I'm paying text by

49:56

text because I haven't upgraded

49:58

my plan in several years.

50:00

And so I just wanted

50:02

to check as long as

50:05

you were here. Well, I

50:07

wouldn't know, because I was

50:09

removed from the family plan,

50:11

dad. Well, I was just

50:13

cheaper that way. Let's go.

50:16

I'm going to head for the grade

50:18

on the other side of the room.

50:20

I have to ask. Our relationship is

50:23

better than that, right, Griffin? I mean,

50:25

our real life. Okay, all right. I

50:27

mean, you never had the kind of

50:29

like financial stability to offer me any

50:31

kind of family plan. I've, you know,

50:33

I've been pretty self-sufficient in that regard.

50:35

Now, if you were wealthy, would you

50:38

have turned out that way? I only

50:40

God knows. Um, hey,

50:42

do you guys mind if I

50:44

have a word with my pops

50:46

while you guys make your way

50:49

up? Sorry, did you guys want

50:51

to fight my dad? I should

50:53

have asked. Okay, cool. I was,

50:56

oh, okay. Okay. I just thought

50:58

the symmetry of me fighting your

51:00

dad would have been. A little

51:03

too much. Yeah, sure. Hey, listen.

51:05

Not for nothing. Uh-huh. All

51:09

the business deals in the

51:11

world aren't going to matter

51:13

if the royal seals fall

51:15

apart. I am not saying

51:17

this from any place of

51:19

authority. You're my dad and

51:21

I get that. I haven't

51:23

forgotten that whether you believe

51:26

it or not. But if

51:28

you keep leading that team,

51:30

our family in the way

51:32

that you have been, I

51:34

am not going to be

51:36

the last one up of

51:38

royal seals. to leave. And

51:40

I guess I do have

51:42

you to thank for that

51:44

realization. So, um, thanks, Dan.

51:47

And I'm gonna head to

51:49

the great. Give me one

51:51

more baby doll eyes rolled.

51:53

Give me one more of

51:55

those. Okay. Two success, six

51:57

eight. Yeah, with two successes,

51:59

your words have an impact

52:01

on him. Whether that is

52:03

a familial impact or just

52:06

the realization of like his

52:08

position being threatened by his

52:10

choices, that's unclear. But I

52:12

mean it all it all

52:14

comes out the same way.

52:16

Yeah that kind of like

52:18

stark and kind of harsh

52:20

feedback Definitely impacts him in

52:22

some way as you head

52:24

to the great and head

52:27

on I start glowing as

52:29

I regroup at the others

52:31

guys. It's happening. I gained

52:33

I gained closure with my

52:35

dad and realized I don't

52:37

need his respect anymore. I'm

52:39

leveling up and I'm gonna

52:41

I'll get stronger. Okay all

52:43

my character she for good

52:46

fronting my dad. It won't

52:48

reflect on your character's sheet.

52:50

Well, it says here all

52:52

my time to shine dice

52:54

are back in my abs.

52:56

It increased my abs and

52:58

my animal dice. You got

53:00

one extra ab. Whoa, it

53:02

creates your abs? Hey dad.

53:04

I'm sorry for everything. How

53:07

you feel? I'm, I am,

53:09

me too. I'm, I'm so

53:11

sorry. Okay, that's enough. Be

53:13

quiet. Be quiet, be quiet.

53:15

I love you. It's not

53:17

working. My abs are just

53:19

like always. Guys my one

53:21

app appeared in the middle

53:23

and now it's like aesthetically

53:26

really busted Don't matter. My

53:28

forehead! maximum

54:11

fun. A a work -grown

54:14

network of artist -owned

54:16

shows, shows. directly by

54:18

you. by you.

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