0:01

Hey there, welcome

0:03

to The Amy

0:05

Porterfield Show. When

0:08

you feel stuck,

0:11

when you feel

0:13

the struggle, ask

0:16

if quitting wasn't

0:19

an option, what

0:21

would I do next?

0:24

And then my

0:26

friend, you do

0:29

it. Many years.

0:31

Now, just by saying that, you could

0:33

tell I'm not a runner, so I'll

0:35

just own that. But at the time

0:37

I was living in San Diego and

0:39

one of my friends that worked with

0:41

me at my Tony Robbins job, she

0:43

said, I want to run a 5K,

0:45

will you do it with me? And

0:47

I thought, I absolutely do not love

0:49

to run, but I'm just going to

0:51

say yes. I was young, I said

0:54

yes, do a lot of things. Plus,

0:56

the run was actually in Santa Barbara

0:58

where I went to school at, you

1:00

see Santa Barbara. So to go back

1:02

to my old stomping grounds, I'm like,

1:04

this could be fun. We could go

1:06

out at night, have a good time, I'll do

1:08

it. So we each trained for the five. kind

1:11

of the same way because at the time we

1:13

lived in Pacific Beach, the cool kids call it

1:15

PB, we lived in PB and so we could

1:17

run by the water like you watch the ocean

1:20

the entire time there's this beautiful little

1:22

trail. So I went early in the

1:24

morning because I'm an early bird and

1:26

she went after work, but we both

1:29

trained the same way. Every single morning

1:31

I got up, put some good tunes

1:33

on and I would just run at

1:35

it. total normal pace. And during those

1:38

morning runs, looking at the ocean, thinking

1:40

this is so cool, I was thinking,

1:42

you know what, I'm going to commit

1:44

to running the entire 5K, meaning no

1:47

walking. And for those of you who

1:49

run marathons, you're laughing at me now,

1:51

just know, this is a big deal for

1:53

me. So I thought, I'm going to run

1:56

the entire thing. And so when I started

1:58

to practice, I wouldn't walk. I would

2:00

just slow down a little bit

2:02

until my pace got a little

2:04

bit better, a little bit better.

2:06

And I was running at a

2:08

pretty good pace. I was able

2:10

to do the entire 5K. I'm

2:12

like, I'm good to go. So

2:14

the day before the race came

2:16

and we had to drive, there

2:18

was a few hour drive. So

2:20

we got in the car, we

2:22

had a great time there, we

2:24

were talking about how like this

2:26

is gonna be our first 5K,

2:28

we're running the whole thing, because

2:30

she also made the commitment, no

2:32

walking, we're running this entire thing.

2:34

So we were on the same

2:36

page. So we get there, you

2:38

get your number, I proudly put

2:40

it on my t-shirt, I act

2:42

as though I'm running five marathons

2:44

in a day, like this was

2:46

a big deal. And off we

2:49

went. And we started to run

2:51

up this really. big hill. I

2:53

mean it is a big hill

2:55

and I'm thinking I did not

2:57

train on hills nor did the

2:59

pamphlet say that there would be

3:01

hills like I don't know are

3:03

they supposed to disclose that in

3:05

my mind they were supposed to.

3:07

So we're running up this hugely

3:09

steep hill and there's no way

3:11

that I could run at the

3:13

pace that I had practiced. And

3:15

so instantly I start to walk

3:17

and I am mad. I am

3:19

so mad because I had this

3:21

all planned out. I trained a

3:23

certain way. I wasn't told that

3:25

there were tons of hills and

3:27

now everything is messed up. So

3:29

screw it that I made the

3:31

commitment that no matter what I

3:33

was going to run even at

3:35

a slow pace, I just went

3:37

to a full-on walk. And I

3:39

was such a brat, I was

3:41

in such a bad mood. And

3:43

so I did this throughout the

3:45

entire thing. I ran a little

3:47

bit when it was flat. The

3:49

minute there was a hill, the

3:51

obstacle, the obstacle. I just started

3:53

to walk, like literally just gave

3:55

up. And my friend, she decided

3:57

she was going to run but

3:59

she had to take her pace

4:01

way down. She had to kind

4:03

of change her plans because she

4:05

too wasn't ready to run on

4:07

these hills. She trained just like

4:09

I did, but she just went

4:12

for a really slow jog to

4:14

the point that we stuck together

4:16

and when I was walking up

4:18

the hill she was going at

4:20

my same pace but she was

4:22

in that rhythm of running because

4:24

she said she would and so

4:26

at the end of the race

4:28

that I walked almost the whole

4:30

thing we ended together and we

4:32

went and got pancakes afterwards because

4:34

I heard like when you run

4:36

a marathon you get a lot

4:38

of carbs afterwards so of course

4:40

we're marathon runners now so here

4:42

we are eating our pancakes in

4:44

a diner and I was such

4:46

a grump and she said I

4:48

feel so good before she realized

4:50

I was mad. She said, I

4:52

feel so accomplished. Like I did

4:54

what I said I was going

4:56

to do. And I said, what?

4:58

There are so many hills. Like,

5:00

I'm surprised you didn't walk with

5:02

me because that is not what

5:04

we signed up for. And she

5:06

kind of looked at me like,

5:08

yeah, I just kind of had

5:10

to change my pace. I had

5:12

to kind of accommodate a little

5:14

bit, but I still stuck with

5:16

what I said I was going

5:18

to do. And in that moment

5:20

I was mad. My all or

5:22

nothing mentality ran deep. Because I

5:24

just couldn't even understand that there

5:26

was an option to maybe go

5:28

with the flow, change how I

5:30

was doing things. I thought it

5:33

was a certain way. It's not

5:35

turning out that way. So I'm

5:37

just not doing anything. All or

5:39

nothing. And let me tell you,

5:41

friend, that has not served me

5:43

well. Through my personal life or

5:45

in business. Because what I realized

5:47

in that moment is my friend

5:49

had mental flexibility. I did not.

5:51

And I really do believe that

5:53

mental flexibility is the key. I

5:55

realized that literally it is the

5:57

absolute necessity in order to get

5:59

to the end of a 5K

6:01

or get to the end of

6:03

a huge business goal, you've got

6:05

to have mental flexibility. I do

6:07

not have it naturally. what I

6:09

didn't know at the time that

6:11

obstacles don't mean stop They mean

6:13

pivot, adjust, or keep going. But

6:15

in my mind, it has been

6:17

so ingrained. I don't know why,

6:19

but it means either keep going

6:21

or stop. If it's not going

6:23

your way, if something has changed,

6:25

then let's just not do it.

6:27

Oh, again, that has not served

6:29

me well. So, let's bring this

6:31

back to you. Right now, if

6:33

you can relate to any of

6:35

this, then your business feels like

6:37

it's either thriving doing so good.

6:39

or it's failing. It's a mess.

6:41

Or that last launch, that last

6:43

promotion you did, either it was

6:45

a total win or a complete

6:47

disaster. There's no in the middle.

6:49

It either worked or it didn't.

6:51

That's how you feel about your

6:53

last launch. It worked or it

6:56

didn't. Oh my gosh, I have

6:58

so been here. I hope I'm

7:00

not alone in this actually. I

7:02

know I'm not alone in this

7:04

because here's the thing. I did

7:06

a social media poll, very scientific

7:08

I know, and I posted, are

7:10

you an all or nothing kind

7:12

of girl or guy? Or are

7:14

you able to kind of adapt

7:16

and go with the flow? 95%

7:18

of you who took the survey

7:20

said, absolutely all or nothing. And

7:22

I thought I found my people.

7:24

I'm in the right place. I'm

7:26

not alone. Because here's all or

7:28

nothing mentality. It is a mental

7:30

trap that makes every decision feel

7:32

like success or failure. And it

7:34

leaves no space for the messy

7:36

middle where I've learned over the

7:38

years, that is where the real

7:40

growth happens in the messy middle.

7:42

And so you can't see it,

7:44

but Scout, oh, you can see

7:46

if you watched this video a

7:48

little bit. Scout just came in

7:50

to say hello, I don't know

7:52

about you, but my dog just

7:54

likes to randomly just say, hi,

7:56

I'm still here if you're if

7:58

you're wondering, if you're wondering, if

8:00

you're wondering, so. Scoutsier everyone. So

8:02

again, you do not grow when

8:04

it's an extreme situation. You grow

8:06

in the messy middle. And so

8:08

I want to repeat that one

8:10

more time, because when I was

8:12

doing my research, I really could

8:14

relate to this one. Growth doesn't

8:16

happen in extremes. It happens in

8:19

the small, imperfect, strategic moves that

8:21

you make every single day. And

8:23

you might not believe it, but

8:25

if you start to kind of

8:27

put this to the test, you'll

8:29

see, oh, okay, yes, this is

8:31

true. So my goal for this

8:33

episode is to give you a

8:35

clear path to break free from

8:37

this all or nothing mentality. I

8:39

have made huge strides with this,

8:41

but it feels like yesterday when

8:43

I was at that 5K walk

8:45

in every single doubt I had,

8:47

frustration I had, it can just

8:49

come flooding back. So it lives

8:51

in me for sure, but I

8:53

don't feel as though I give

8:55

into it anymore. So I hope

8:57

by the end of this episode

8:59

you'll stop hesitating and learn how

9:01

to move beyond extreme decision-making, all-or-nothing,

9:03

black or white, so you can

9:05

step into being a more strategic

9:07

decision-maker and grow in the messy

9:09

middle. So that's what I want

9:11

for you. So let's talk about

9:13

a little bit of research. So

9:15

did you know that your brain

9:17

craves certainty? You probably already knew

9:19

this, right? Entrepreneurial strategist Daniel Priestly,

9:21

he explains that the brain loves

9:23

predictability and struggles to adapt when

9:25

things don't go as planned. So

9:27

right there, if you ever needed

9:29

an excuse, like Amy, this is

9:31

just how I was born. Well,

9:33

actually, yeah, it's how the brain

9:35

works. The brain does not adapt

9:37

well to things that are not

9:39

planned out. Also, cognitive distortion, it

9:42

tricks us into extremes. So there's

9:44

this psychologist, his name is John

9:46

Groholl, and he's the founder of

9:48

Psychcentral, and he explains that all

9:50

are nothing thinking convinces us of

9:52

things that are not true. Like

9:54

example, I always fail at New...

9:56

things, so I fail at everything.

9:58

Like our brains just go there

10:00

so quickly. So flexible thinking, if

10:02

we can adapt flexible thinking, which

10:04

is easier said than done, it

10:06

leads to faster success. So research

10:08

in cognitive behavioral therapy, it shows

10:10

that those who challenge extreme thinking,

10:12

like challenges, extreme thinking patterns, it

10:14

builds resilience, it makes better decisions,

10:16

and you can grow faster. So

10:18

the minute you catch yourself saying

10:20

that all or nothing black or

10:22

white kind of thinking, if you

10:24

can challenge that and say, wait

10:26

a second, is there a different

10:28

way? Can I navigate this differently?

10:30

That's where you're going to start

10:32

growing faster, making better decisions. That's

10:34

another thing. I've done an episode

10:36

before on Online Marketing Made Easy

10:38

before we transitioned over to the

10:40

Amy Porterfield show. I did an

10:42

episode around how to be a

10:44

better decision maker. And I doubt

10:46

that I mentioned this, because doing

10:48

the research on this episode, I

10:50

realized, well, wait a second. Some

10:52

people really struggle with making decisions

10:54

because it's all or nothing in

10:56

their mind. That decision is like

10:58

the biggest thing. If I do

11:00

this, then everything's great. Or if

11:03

I do that, everything's going to

11:05

go wrong. So because it's so

11:07

extreme, why would you ever feel

11:09

comfortable making a decision? Like in

11:11

your defense, like, I get that.

11:13

So why does this matter? Well,

11:15

breaking free from that all-or-nothing thinking,

11:17

it isn't just about mindset, it's

11:19

about rewiring the way you approach

11:21

challenges so that you can make

11:23

better, faster business moves without second-guessing

11:25

every decision. Because that rewiring to

11:27

approach challenges better, I mean, I

11:29

know it's just a simple silly

11:31

thing, but that 5K, my mind,

11:33

just, it was a challenge, literally

11:35

an obstacle, it was uphill. And

11:37

my mind just couldn't even wrap

11:39

its head around. Is there a

11:41

different way to approach this? It

11:43

was either I walk or run.

11:45

It wasn't maybe I take my

11:47

pace down, either a walk or

11:49

run, one or the other, and

11:51

then I was so mad and

11:53

so frustrated, I chose the one

11:55

that was going to make me

11:57

feel worse at the end. So

11:59

I think this is an important

12:01

topic. So I want to talk

12:03

about how to recognize and shift

12:05

that all or nothing thinking in

12:07

your business. First of all, I'm

12:09

going to give you some recognize

12:11

and shift. Okay, so stay with

12:13

me here. So one you're going

12:15

to recognize, let's say you set

12:17

a goal. but you fall short.

12:19

I do this all the time.

12:21

So you set a goal and

12:23

you fall short. So instead of

12:26

seeing progress, you see failure, right?

12:28

I have so lived in this

12:30

space, I've talked about it before.

12:32

So the shift, if you really

12:34

want to get past that all

12:36

or nothing mentality, the shift is

12:38

use the gap in the gain.

12:40

You know, I'm a huge fan

12:42

of this book. Benjamin Hardy, Dan

12:44

Sullivan, they co-wrote the book, the

12:46

gap in the game. Essentially. with

12:48

this concept, you're going to focus

12:50

on what you've learned and how

12:52

far you've come. So a launch

12:54

that didn't hit your goal, it's

12:56

still brought in leads and data

12:58

to use next time you launch.

13:00

And also, you know, it's so

13:02

cliche, but it's like hits me

13:04

every time it's so true. Let's

13:06

say you do a launch and

13:08

your goal was to hit 100K

13:10

and you hit 75K. So $25,000

13:12

that you were counting on. That's

13:14

a lot of money. and that's

13:16

a big gap. Like I'm just

13:18

gonna say, yeah, I totally get

13:20

that. But this is the cliche

13:22

part that's so true. Two years

13:24

ago, the girl who just hit

13:26

$75,000 in a week-long launch would

13:28

have literally died for that. Like,

13:30

please, couldn't even fathom making a

13:32

year's worth of salary in a

13:34

week on a digital course launch.

13:36

But because you've already done it

13:38

and you wanted to go first...

13:40

and you didn't go as far

13:42

as you wanted, now you just

13:44

count it all. Instead of saying,

13:46

wow, I just made a lot

13:49

of money in a week's time,

13:51

literally my old salary, and I

13:53

just learned some lessons. My messaging

13:55

was off a little bit. People

13:57

are acting different today than they

13:59

did last year when I launched,

14:01

so something has shifted in my

14:03

industry and my audience with people's

14:05

just viewpoints. I'm going to be

14:07

a detective and dig in and

14:09

see what that is. So I'll

14:11

give you an example. My DCA

14:13

launch in 2024, it did not

14:15

hit the goal that I wanted.

14:17

It didn't do as good as

14:19

it did in 2023. Now, this

14:21

is the part where I feel

14:23

like some of you discount me,

14:25

like, okay, but it was still

14:27

multi-million dollars shut up. Like, no,

14:29

that's fair. But it's all perspective.

14:31

100K. couple million, it's just where

14:33

you are, right, in the game.

14:35

But I did not hit the

14:37

goal. And so I've learned enough

14:39

to know gap in the game,

14:41

and I could absolutely say, like,

14:43

oh my gosh, we heard like

14:45

over a million off where I

14:47

wanted to hit. That's a lot

14:49

of money. And so I could

14:51

literally wallow in that, and maybe

14:53

for... a good day I did.

14:55

I always give myself a chance

14:57

to just be mad or upset,

14:59

but then I had to quickly

15:01

come back and this is where

15:03

I've stepped away from the all

15:05

or nothing mentality and this is

15:07

where gap and the gain has

15:09

really taught me. So first of

15:12

all, look how much money I

15:14

did make. Second of all, look,

15:16

you cannot discount the people you're

15:18

serving. I get so unfair and

15:20

this is where I really make

15:22

sure that I talked to myself

15:24

about this. Amy, you just had

15:26

thousands of people, beautiful soulsosles that

15:28

gave you. hard-earned money to join

15:30

your program so that they can

15:32

create a different kind of life.

15:34

They could have new opportunities. And

15:36

I tell myself, don't you dare

15:38

for a minute discount these beautiful

15:40

people who put their trust in

15:42

you just because, let's say, a

15:44

thousand people extra you thought would

15:46

join didn't, whatever it is. So

15:48

I catch myself. I want to

15:50

live in gratitude, and I also

15:52

want to care deeply about the

15:54

people that are my students, so

15:56

I have to catch myself there.

15:58

Also, and I really mean this,

16:00

we learned so much from my

16:02

launch in 2024. Tell me if

16:04

you've ever felt this way, that

16:06

looking back if I had hit

16:08

my goal. I would not be

16:10

doing some of the really cool

16:12

things we're doing right now. Like

16:14

I knew early on that DCA

16:16

was going to feel different in

16:18

2024. I know my business really

16:20

well. I've been around a long

16:22

time. I teach this stuff. So

16:24

before I even went into DCA,

16:26

I knew that things were different

16:28

and not really shaking out like

16:30

I thought they were because we

16:33

do a lot of pre-launch work.

16:35

And so with that, my idea

16:37

of maybe it's time to consider

16:39

the mastermind that I've been thinking

16:41

about launching for a really long

16:43

time. If I'm not going to

16:45

hit my revenue goals this year,

16:47

maybe this is a time to

16:49

introduce something that I've been thinking

16:51

about for a long time. And

16:53

so I don't know if I

16:55

would have ever launched my mastermind

16:57

made a scale, shout out to

16:59

my women, that are part of

17:01

that, if I didn't see the

17:03

writing on the wall with DCA

17:05

being a different kind of launch.

17:07

And then from my mastermind, I

17:09

identified a new set of women

17:11

that I'm obsessed with working with

17:13

right now, called the Milli Club,

17:15

which is 30 women who are

17:17

around 500K or more, and want

17:19

to hit that million-dollar mark and

17:21

beyond. I would have not even

17:23

known they existed in my audience

17:25

if they hadn't applied for the

17:27

mastermind, and I could only take

17:29

so many people. So I'm not

17:31

saying that launching doesn't work, so

17:33

now I invented these new programs.

17:35

Launching works very well. One of

17:37

my students just had her biggest

17:39

launch ever, $215,000 in a week.

17:41

And she hasn't been doing it

17:43

for that long. Like she's so

17:45

excited. That could be like two.

17:47

people's salary, right? So launching still

17:49

works. And on this podcast, we're

17:51

going to start talking about the

17:53

shifts I see are happening in

17:56

evergreen and live launching and different

17:58

pivots. I think we all need

18:00

to be aware of. So we're

18:02

going to talk about landscape changing,

18:04

but webinars and boot camps and

18:06

courses and memberships. it all still

18:08

works my friend and if you

18:10

think it doesn't you're just leaving

18:12

a lot of room for your

18:14

competitor to be like okay see

18:16

you later thank you so much

18:18

I'm gonna snatch up your audience

18:20

so I don't mean to put

18:22

some fear in you but I

18:24

do want to put a little

18:26

kick in your butt saying don't

18:28

you dare give up the landscape

18:30

might feel different but it's still

18:32

really working. But what I am

18:34

saying, so I didn't invent the

18:36

mastermind in Milli Club because I

18:38

felt like, oh, I can't sell

18:40

my courses anymore. But because I

18:42

knew I wouldn't hit a goal

18:44

and I'm all about hitting my

18:46

revenue goals, I'm always going to

18:48

look for other opportunities to do

18:50

so. And so my point being

18:52

is that because DCA didn't shake

18:54

out as I wanted in 2024,

18:56

it allowed me to find some

18:58

new opportunities and more importantly because

19:00

I'm always going to be launching,

19:02

I'm always going to have digital

19:04

courses, you can bet that you're

19:06

going to see some new different

19:08

exciting things in my next Digital

19:10

Course Academy launch in September 2025.

19:12

Things I'm super excited about. And

19:14

so if you can go about

19:16

that instead of all or nothing,

19:19

you catch yourself. The shift is

19:21

what did I just learn? What

19:23

does this make possible? My business

19:25

coach Michael Hyatt, when I'm down

19:27

in the dumps, he always says,

19:29

but what does this make possible?

19:31

And usually he's saying that after

19:33

a loss, after I'm frustrated about

19:35

something. But what does this make

19:37

possible? And there's always an answer,

19:39

always an answer. Okay, so we

19:41

went over the first recognize and

19:43

shift, recognize you said a goal,

19:45

didn't hit it, you fell short.

19:47

So instead of saying this is

19:49

a huge failure, the shift is,

19:51

okay, first of all, look how

19:53

far I've come, look how much

19:55

I've learned. and what does this

19:57

make possible? Here's another one. So

19:59

a new hire isn't immediately excelling,

20:01

so you assume that you made

20:03

the wrong decision. So recognize that

20:05

you've done that before, if you

20:07

have. I'm raising my hand if

20:09

you can't see me. Oh my

20:11

goodness. Like I give someone, like

20:13

it's usually a really high position.

20:15

So like a director or C-sweet

20:17

or something like that. In the

20:19

first week, or excuse me, okay,

20:21

I'm not that bad, but in

20:23

the first month, if they seem

20:25

to not be getting it, or

20:27

they just don't seem to be

20:29

jelling with the team right away,

20:31

or if they seem to be

20:33

floundering just a little, right away

20:35

in my mind, I made a

20:37

wrong decision. I put it on

20:40

me, but that all or nothing

20:42

is either they're great on day

20:44

one, or they're not right for

20:46

the team. I've actually been guilty

20:48

of this. Do you know how

20:50

much that squashes a great employee's

20:52

potential? So I've recognized that and

20:54

the shift I've now made is

20:56

I'm going to step into real

20:58

leadership. Put it back on me.

21:00

I blamed myself for the wrong

21:02

hire. So instead of doing that,

21:04

I look in the mirror and

21:06

I say, hey, be a leader

21:08

Amy. Create a plan to help

21:10

this person succeed instead of off-boarding

21:12

them too soon. How can I

21:14

step up to the plate and

21:16

say okay? I know what you

21:18

need, I know the support you

21:20

need, and I also really respect

21:22

you as a human being, and

21:24

you deserve my attention. Let's put

21:26

together a new plan. Let's be

21:28

honest with each other, let me

21:30

share what I'm seeing, and let

21:32

me share a plan with you

21:34

so that we both can feel

21:36

really great about this new opportunity.

21:38

Be a better leader instead of

21:40

beating yourself up that you've done

21:42

something wrong. Here's another one. Okay.

21:44

You delay hiring because your systems

21:46

aren't perfect yet. Ooh, I'm speaking

21:48

to many, many of my students.

21:50

So you're not hiring anyone. contractor,

21:52

part-time person, full-time person, you literally

21:54

are wearing a badge of honor

21:56

that I'm doing it all myself.

21:58

And if you've been around here

22:00

for a while, you know that

22:03

is not a badge of honor.

22:05

You are literally leaving so much

22:07

money on the table by not

22:09

getting help. I don't even mean

22:11

a full-time employee, even just a

22:13

few contractors that they're dialed in

22:15

and they feel like full-time employees

22:17

because you have them on a

22:19

retainer and they are in your

22:21

business. Like right now my good

22:23

friend Jenna Kuchar she is traveling

22:25

to a team retreat and a

22:27

lot of the women that are

22:29

on her team I think there's

22:31

no men not anything wrong with

22:33

that that sounded weird like the

22:35

women only but the people on

22:37

her team they're not all full-time

22:39

employees but it always amazes me

22:41

that she calls someone a contractor

22:43

because they feel like they are

22:45

on her team. She brings them

22:47

in as though they are. They're

22:49

on a team retreat with her

22:51

right now. And so she's just

22:53

proof that they don't have to

22:55

be a W-2 in order for

22:57

you to feel like they're really

22:59

supporting you and really on your

23:01

team. So anyway, that's a little

23:03

bit of a tangent. I just

23:05

wanted to plant that seed. But

23:07

again, you're not hiring anyone because

23:09

your systems aren't ready yet. So

23:11

that's the all or nothing. Until

23:13

this is ready. You might not

23:15

even say perfect. I feel like

23:17

when I say perfect, you're like,

23:19

oh, I'm not a perfectionist, but

23:21

you're not doing some things because

23:23

you feel like you're not ready.

23:26

I think that, a lot of

23:28

you can relate to, right? So

23:30

the shift here is start with

23:32

just phase one. Allow yourself to

23:34

take baby steps. I'm going to

23:36

take baby steps. I'm a huge

23:38

believer of baby steps. And so

23:40

just phase one is, no, I

23:42

don't have it all figured. We've

23:44

all been there. But maybe you

23:46

hire someone and you refine your

23:48

systems as you go, or maybe

23:50

news slash, this new person can

23:52

help you create the systems. Shout

23:54

out to Rebecca, my very first

23:56

hire. She was a five hour

23:58

a week assistant. I had zero

24:00

systems. I found her because she

24:02

kept finding typos in my blog

24:04

post and she's like, I think

24:06

you need some help. Like girl,

24:08

you don't even know, I need

24:10

more help than you could ever

24:12

give me. But she came on

24:14

for five hours a week, ended

24:16

up being full time with me.

24:18

And this was many, many years

24:20

ago. But I brought her in

24:22

as a phase one. I did

24:24

not have it all figured out

24:26

and it was messy, but I

24:28

knew I cannot grow all on

24:30

my own. So, there's some kind

24:32

of recognize and make the shift.

24:34

Hopefully you can see yourself in

24:36

some of those. But I want

24:38

to talk about some actionable steps

24:40

to break the all-or-nothing trap. My

24:42

friend, do not get off this

24:44

episode without committing that you are

24:46

breaking this, because it is not

24:49

serving you, and you're being left

24:51

behind because of it. Meaning, there's

24:53

so much more potential for you,

24:55

but you're not allowing yourself to

24:57

even recognize it, because it's either

24:59

good or bad, right or wrong.

25:01

bigger little, like big launch, little

25:03

launch, whatever you want to say,

25:05

and we do not need to

25:07

speak in those extremes. You know,

25:09

side know, I had my relationship

25:11

coach on Online Marketing Made Easy

25:13

and you could still find all

25:15

the Online Marketing Made Easy episodes

25:17

in the same feed you're finding

25:19

the new Amy Porterfield show. But

25:21

a lot of times, Sydney is

25:23

my coach and I know some

25:25

of you hired her which I

25:27

absolutely love because this woman is

25:29

magic. When we're on a call,

25:31

it's me, Sydney, and Hobie and

25:33

all say things, she often points

25:35

out, wait Amy. You just said

25:37

that Hobie does this all the

25:39

time. I'm like, yeah, yeah, he

25:41

does. Like he all the time

25:43

does this or that or says

25:45

this or acts this way or

25:47

like I'm very extreme in my

25:49

language and she catches it and

25:51

I hate it and I want

25:53

to just like put the computer

25:55

screen down and be like, see

25:57

you later lady. But she's right,

25:59

I do this in my marriage

26:01

a lot. You always say this,

26:03

or we always just do that,

26:05

or whatever it is. It doesn't

26:07

serve. One, it's not true. It's

26:10

not true. And also, to put

26:12

anybody or any relationship in those

26:14

extremes, you can't win. So also

26:16

catch the extreme language that you

26:18

might be using. I use it

26:20

all the time and I have

26:22

to catch myself. So a few

26:24

actionable steps. Number one, I want

26:26

you to reframe success and failure.

26:28

They're always linked. So again, growth

26:30

happens in the adjustments, not the

26:32

extremes. So the action I want

26:34

you to take is after a

26:36

setback, which there's no way you

26:38

can escape setbacks, write down a

26:40

few things that you learned and

26:42

then one next move. So the

26:44

next time something doesn't happen is

26:46

planned and you cannot shake it.

26:48

And you cannot shake it. You

26:50

can not get out of the

26:52

funk. I want you just to

26:54

stop for a second, write down

26:56

even in your notes app. Just

26:58

tell me what is something that

27:00

you learned or a few things

27:02

you just learned from that not

27:04

working out and what's something that

27:06

you can actually move forward with.

27:08

Because remember, action creates clarity. The

27:10

more you take action, the more

27:12

it will make sense. So that

27:14

you're increasing your chances of next

27:16

time, it totally works. You knock

27:18

it out of the park. Number

27:20

two, challenge reactionary thinking before it

27:22

stalls you. So your first thought,

27:24

it's not always true. Michael, my

27:26

coach, I mentioned him earlier, he

27:28

always says, don't believe everything you

27:30

think. If I did, I'd be

27:33

in a fetal position under this

27:35

desk right now because I literally

27:37

wouldn't do anything. If I believed

27:39

everything that I thought, whoa, you

27:41

wouldn't even be hearing from me

27:43

right now. So the action step

27:45

is, write the thought down. And

27:47

then check the facts, like, is

27:49

this really true? If you're a

27:51

journaler, this is a great thing

27:53

to do. Like, okay, this is

27:55

my thought right now. Check the

27:57

facts. Is it true? And likely

27:59

it's not. So you're going to

28:01

replace that. thought with what is

28:03

true. This is the Judge Judy

28:05

effect, essentially. So you know, Judge

28:07

Judy on TV, if I said

28:09

something to Judge Judy, would she

28:11

say that is absolutely fact? Okay,

28:13

here's one. My launch was

28:16

a complete failure in 2024

28:18

because I didn't hit my goal.

28:20

Would Judge Judy say, mm-hmm? You're

28:22

right, that is a failure. No.

28:25

So if you never know, if

28:27

like, is this... True or not? Ask

28:29

Judge Judy in your mind. A little

28:31

weird, I know. But most likely that

28:33

woman's going to say, hell no, that's

28:35

not true. And so you've got to go

28:37

back then and say, okay, then what is

28:40

true? Okay, here's another one. Take

28:42

decisive action before fear talks you

28:44

out of it. So fear tricks you into

28:46

waiting for certainty. I'm just going to

28:48

wait. I'm not going to make a

28:50

decision. For all of you that struggle

28:53

with making a decision, this one's for

28:55

you. I'm just not going to make

28:57

a decision right now. I'm just going

28:59

to wait. And waiting turns into

29:01

never making the decision. So the

29:03

action is, if you feel fear, use it

29:06

as a sign to make a decision

29:08

and take action within 24 hours of

29:10

feeling it. So that fear is actually

29:12

going to propel you forward. So the

29:14

next time you're like, oh my God, I

29:16

don't know if this is the right decision. Should

29:19

I do this? I'm so scared. Oh. That's

29:21

my sign that I've got 24 hours

29:23

to make a decision around this because

29:25

fear, it just wants certainty and I'm

29:28

never going to get it. We're never

29:30

going to get 100% certainty. So

29:32

here's another one. So think imperfect

29:34

is your growth accelerator. This is

29:37

your action. Imperfect, that's going to

29:39

become your new growth accelerator. So

29:41

the all or nothing thinking does

29:43

not allow you to be imperfect.

29:45

It allows you to be right

29:48

or wrong, good or bad. And

29:50

it tells you to wait until

29:52

it's perfect, which we already said

29:54

will never happen. So instead,

29:57

launch a simplified version like the

29:59

phase. I talked about, launch this

30:01

simplified version of whatever that you've

30:03

been overthinking and treat it as

30:05

data. I've said this a million

30:08

times, but one of my company

30:10

values is data into impact. And

30:12

that kind of value, guess what

30:14

it does? It says, it's okay

30:16

to me to experiment because the

30:18

data is going to give you

30:20

your answer, but you'll never get

30:23

data unless you try something. So

30:25

this new value that my whole

30:27

company subscribes to, data into impact.

30:29

allows us some wiggle room to

30:31

be in the messy middle so

30:33

we could collect the data to

30:36

make the decisions around. And so

30:38

if you launch a simplified version

30:40

of something, experimenting, giving it a

30:42

shot, the data then will allow

30:44

you to then make another move

30:46

that could be way more productive,

30:49

but you never would have gotten

30:51

there if you didn't do it.

30:53

So you got to treat this

30:55

as data. And then here's another

30:57

one. Override the invitation in your

30:59

head to quit. So this is

31:02

me. Picture me in my Lulu

31:04

workout pants. I don't even back

31:06

then I didn't buy Lulu. But

31:08

anyway, and I'm on this hill.

31:10

And I have the decision right

31:12

there. Do I take my jog

31:14

to a very slow pace? But

31:17

I still jog because I said

31:19

I was going to or do

31:21

I just flat out give up

31:23

and start walking? So overriding the

31:25

invitation in your head to quit.

31:27

That was the moment. That's what

31:30

I needed, that advice. So here's

31:32

what you're going to do. You're

31:34

going to adjust. So all are

31:36

nothing thinking. It makes struggle feel

31:38

like a stop sign. That's what

31:40

it was for me. Oh my

31:43

gosh, I cannot run up a

31:45

hill. Stop sign. I'm not going

31:47

to do this. But successful entrepreneurs,

31:49

I'm not going to do this.

31:51

But successful entrepreneurs, use it as

31:53

a pivot point. Okay, I can

31:56

make a decision right now. I've

31:58

got to pivot for me in

32:00

that example. I've got to take

32:02

this jog down to a very

32:04

slow pace, but I am still

32:06

jogging. pivot point. Instead, I made

32:08

the struggle feel like, oh, it

32:11

is time to stop. It is

32:13

time to give up. That didn't

32:15

serve me. So the action here

32:17

is, when you feel stuck, when

32:19

you feel the struggle, ask if

32:21

quitting wasn't an option, what would

32:24

I do next? And then my

32:26

friend, you do it. So, quick

32:28

wrap up up. First of all,

32:30

I love on my new show,

32:32

what I've been trying to do

32:34

is I just went over a

32:37

bunch of things, but who's going

32:39

to retain all that, right? So

32:41

during my wrap-up, I like to

32:43

just do a quick repeat of

32:45

some of the lessons that you

32:47

can walk away with. Just grab

32:50

one and say, okay, that's the

32:52

one. That's the one I'm going

32:54

to take action with because I'm

32:56

not going to waste the last

32:58

30 minutes of being me talking

33:00

by doing nothing. The most successful

33:02

entrepreneurs don't wait for perfect conditions.

33:05

They take small strategic steps forward

33:07

even in uncertainty. They allow for

33:09

the phase one. They allow themselves

33:11

to collect data, treat it as

33:13

data collection. And when you train

33:15

yourself to challenge extreme thinking, yes

33:18

or no, black or white, good

33:20

or bad, and adjust instead of

33:22

quitting, you can create unstoppable momentum.

33:25

So I just want you to

33:27

remember that all-or-nothing thinkers, they wait

33:29

for the perfect moment, successful entrepreneurs,

33:32

take the best action with what

33:34

they have. All-or-nothing thinkers, they see

33:36

failure as the end. That was

33:39

me. Failure, I'm done. I'm stopping.

33:41

Struggle means a stop sign. High

33:43

achievers, see it as a pivot

33:46

point, which is what I've absolutely

33:48

adopted over the last few years.

33:50

All-or-nothing thinkers react emotionally. I'm guilty

33:52

of this one. Strategic leaders move

33:55

with intention. Perfect. Actionism is just

33:57

procrastination in disguise. Growth happens through

33:59

small consistent actions in the messy

34:02

middle. And the urge to quit

34:04

is proof that you're growing and

34:06

it is so normal. The urge

34:09

to quit is very normal. Let's

34:11

not beat ourselves up about that.

34:13

When you feel stuck though, shift

34:16

from frustration to problem solving and

34:18

ask, what's my next best move?

34:20

What's my next best move? So

34:23

there you have it my friend.

34:25

Here's what I want you to

34:27

do. Just apply one shift one

34:30

shift from today And it might

34:32

be as simple as the next

34:34

time I feel as though I'm

34:37

in extreme thinking I'm going to

34:39

acknowledge that and I'm going to

34:41

change my way of thinking no

34:44

more extreme thinking or Extreme decision-making

34:46

for my friends that are listening

34:48

that struggle with making decisions and

34:50

moving forward It's because it feels

34:53

extreme to you Take that charge

34:55

out of it. It's all data.

34:57

Let it be all data. All

35:00

right, my friend, there you have

35:02

it. Sometimes I need these episodes

35:04

just as much as you do,

35:07

so hopefully you found value in

35:09

it today, and I cannot wait

35:11

to see you again next week.

35:14

So have a great week, and

35:16

remember, no extreme thinking. You're better

35:18

than that. Talk to you soon.