0:00

You're in the middle of a huge wave of intense

0:02

anxiety and fear , or maybe you're experiencing

0:05

a full-blown panic attack . Someone

0:07

, with all the best intentions and trying

0:09

to be helpful , instructs you to identify

0:11

five things . You can see , four

0:13

things , you can touch , three things , you can

0:15

hear , two things you can smell and

0:17

one thing you can taste . This

0:20

is the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding

0:22

exercise . If you've followed along with

0:24

me for any length of time , you know that I don't

0:26

speak too kindly about grounding exercises

0:29

, but today we're going to revisit

0:31

5-4-3-2-1 and grounding exercises

0:33

in general . What if there is

0:36

a way to use them to our benefit rather

0:38

than having them accidentally sort of blow

0:40

up in our faces ? Let's get to it

0:42

on episode 292 of the Anxious Truth , the

0:56

hastily produced no Frills edition . Hello

0:59

everyone , welcome back to the Anxious Truth . This is episode 292 of the

1:01

podcast recorded in May of 2024 . I'm Drew Linsalata , creator and host of

1:03

the Anxious Truth . I'm a therapist in training

1:06

with a specialization in anxiety and anxiety

1:08

disorders , an author and educator and

1:10

podcaster in the anxiety and mental health community

1:12

, and a former sufferer of anxiety

1:14

disorders and depression , on and off

1:17

, for many years of my life . So I'm

1:19

not speaking just based on academic

1:21

knowledge or training , but also from personal experience

1:23

. If this is your first time

1:25

here listening to the podcast or watching on YouTube

1:28

, well welcome . I hope you find the content

1:30

useful in some way and , if you do , maybe

1:32

consider adding the podcast to your library of favorite

1:34

podcasters , maybe subscribing to the YouTube

1:37

channel . Of course , if you're a returning listener

1:39

or viewer , welcome back . I'm glad you're here

1:41

this week and I hope you find it helpful . Of

1:43

course , before we get started , I'd also like to remind

1:45

you quickly that the Anxious Truth is more than just

1:48

this podcast episode or this YouTube video

1:50

. There are a ton of resources designed

1:52

to educate and empower on my website

1:54

at theanxioustruthcom , so

2:00

check that out if you're looking for more on anxiety and anxiety recovery . So let's talk about

2:02

grounding exercises like the 5-4-3-2-1

2:05

thing I mentioned to open this episode . In

2:07

most cases , these exercises are presented

2:10

as a way to calm down when activated or

2:12

triggered . If you google 5-4-3-2-1

2:15

, you're going to find a ton of websites all

2:17

writing about this little technique as a

2:19

way to regulate the nervous system or activate

2:21

the vagus nerve or calm down or stop

2:24

a panic attack or whatever they think it's supposed

2:26

to do . So now we have

2:28

to talk again about paradoxes

2:31

that come with anxiety disorders , which is what

2:33

we're talking about , when the state of being

2:35

anxious or distressed itself becomes

2:37

the problem and the perceived threat that

2:39

must be avoided at all costs

2:41

. The paradox here is

2:43

that when we search urgently and frantically

2:45

for ways to combat our internal experiences

2:48

like anxiety or fear or uncertainty

2:50

or vulnerability , we are 100%

2:53

agreeing with the assertion that these states are unacceptable

2:55

or off-limits and should never be allowed

2:58

. See the problem here . Someone

3:05

who develops a fear of being afraid or who is anxious because they are or might be

3:07

anxious , winds up using tools like this as shields or antidotes against anxiety

3:10

, anxiety symptoms and scary thoughts . They

3:12

either find that either they just don't

3:14

work fast enough or consistently

3:16

enough , or else begins to ritualize

3:19

them and insists that they are only safe

3:21

and okay if they can engage

3:23

in these special activities when anxious , upset

3:25

or feeling a sense of distress in any way

3:27

. In the worst cases , which

3:30

are sadly more common than you might think in

3:32

this community , techniques like 5-4-3-2-1

3:35

are used to prevent or stop panic

3:38

. Anxiety symptoms or intrusive thoughts

3:40

then blow up in our faces

3:42

because when they don't work reliably or

3:44

predictably , we

3:48

draw the mistaken conclusion that we are specially broken or suffering from some form

3:50

of anxiety that is worse or different

3:52

than what any other human being must be

3:54

experiencing . When the internet insists

3:57

that grounding exercises are the go-to

3:59

when anxious or when in a panic

4:01

, and we cannot get those tools to work

4:03

the way we really want them to work , our

4:06

assessment of ourselves and the problem we're addressing

4:08

can really tank and you can wind up

4:10

, sort of accidentally , in some pretty dark places

4:12

where you start to feel really hopeless and broken . This

4:15

is why you rarely , if ever , hear

4:17

me providing grounding or calming

4:19

instructions and why I am generally not

4:22

a fan of 5-4-3-2-1 in

4:24

the context I am always addressing here

4:26

on the podcast . But what

4:28

if we can find a way to use 5-4-3-2-1

4:31

and other similar exercises in

4:33

a way that teaches us recovery lessons

4:35

and doesn't backfire on us ? What

4:38

would happen if you decided to use 5-4-3-2-1

4:41

as an experiment rather

4:43

than an antidote or a shield

4:45

? But before we go

4:47

on with this , we first have to acknowledge

4:49

that anxious people and people in distress

4:51

absolutely want to make those

4:54

feelings go away . We want

4:56

to feel better . That is not a crime

4:58

. It's not wrong to want that and you're

5:00

not doing anything wrong if

5:02

, deep down , you really do want

5:04

a magic wand that will make it all stop , that's

5:07

okay . You're allowed to be human . But

5:09

wanting that and having

5:11

that are two different things . So

5:13

it's okay to have the want , as

5:15

long as we don't try to wish and

5:18

will what we want into existence

5:20

and resist the reality that it kind of

5:22

doesn't exist . That's where we get

5:24

into trouble . So let's

5:26

start from here and use the

5:28

following framing statement I

5:31

really want a way to make this stop right now so

5:33

I can feel better right away . But since

5:35

that doesn't appear to be a thing that I can do on

5:37

a consistent basis , how can I do

5:39

my best at the moment to

5:41

improve my ability to cope with these

5:43

feelings and these experiences ? Take

5:46

a moment to think about that statement or

5:48

something like it that might fit better in your particular

5:51

circumstance . You can play with it . You'll

5:53

want to use that before you

5:55

use 5-4-3-2-1 , just

5:57

as a reminder that you're not trying to

6:00

instantly feel better , even though

6:02

you can acknowledge that you do actually want

6:04

that . So what if we

6:06

looked for five things we can see or

6:08

three things we can hear , to experiment

6:11

with acceptance and surrender and tolerance

6:13

? What if we took a chance or took a risk and

6:15

turned our attention outward , to the environment

6:18

around us , rather than choosing

6:20

laser focus on our internal

6:22

state and engaging in detailed internal

6:25

dialogues and debates about the horrible

6:27

danger we think we are in when anxious

6:29

or afraid . About the

6:31

horrible danger we think we are in when anxious or afraid , rather

6:33

than looking for things to hear or touch so you can stop your panic

6:36

or anxiety or scary thoughts dead in

6:38

their tracks . Consider that if you

6:40

do make an effort to look for these things

6:42

while afraid and distressed

6:44

, you might accidentally

6:46

and reluctantly learn that it's actually

6:48

okay to not focus so

6:51

urgently and frantically on how you feel

6:53

and what you're thinking in anxious moments

6:56

. If you can listen for three

6:58

different birds singing outside your window while

7:00

your frightened brain is screaming at

7:02

you to pay attention to the disaster happening

7:05

inside your body and mind , you

7:07

might give yourself a chance to learn little

7:09

by little that you don't have to

7:11

pay such close attention to yourself

7:13

, even when highly triggered

7:16

. So imagine using

7:18

54321 as a way

7:20

to sort of test the water before jumping all the way

7:22

in . The water might be too cold

7:24

for you , but if you dip your toes in for a minute

7:27

or two , you might learn that well , maybe

7:29

it's not as cold as you first thought and

7:31

it might be okay to take a few more steps

7:33

into the pool or the ocean . The

7:35

key here , as I said , is

7:43

to refrain from judging the effectiveness of 5-4-3-2-1 or similar exercises

7:45

based on changing the way you feel . That's not the goal . Remember , I'm going to take

7:47

10 seconds to make note of five things

7:49

I can see and to describe them as

7:52

a very basic way to take a small

7:54

leap of faith toward learning that it's safe

7:56

to do that you

8:11

like . We open up paths that lead toward important recovery lessons , but we also can

8:13

give ourselves instructions or steps to follow , which I know can be

8:15

helpful for an anxious person that insists

8:17

that they just simply do not know what to do when

8:20

they're triggered . Now , not everyone in

8:22

the community needs or wants steps or instructions

8:24

, but if you're kind of banging your head against the wall

8:26

because they never give you steps and instructions

8:28

or techniques to use and you might

8:31

benefit from having steps or instructions

8:33

or techniques , well , here you go . This might

8:35

fit the bill . Maybe you can

8:37

use the 5 , 4 , 3 , 2 , 1 steps

8:39

, but you can do them with a different intention

8:42

and for a different purpose . I often say

8:44

to do nothing and on Disordered , you might hear

8:46

Josh and I say do what , non-anxious

8:48

, you would do when triggered . But that

8:50

really can be challenging for anxious minds

8:52

to comprehend and put into action . So

8:55

maybe grounding exercises like 5-4-3-2-1

8:57

could be adapted like this Think

9:00

of them as sort of training wheels . They might

9:02

be ways to start putting surrender and

9:04

acceptance into action , which is where we

9:06

need them when you're simply unsure

9:08

of how to actually do that . So

9:10

I'll sort of wrap this up with a really quick example

9:12

. Let's assume you're struggling with

9:14

intrusive , unwanted thoughts that pop into

9:16

your head against your will and disturb

9:18

you . They trigger you into an anxious

9:20

or fearful state and you're trying everything

9:23

you can think of to drown out the thoughts

9:25

, make them stop or prove them untrue

9:27

or illogical . That really doesn't

9:29

work with any kind of consistency . So your scary

9:32

thoughts begin to stalk you around all

9:34

the time and you can wind up on

9:36

guard all the time , waiting

9:38

for them to spring into action or waiting

9:40

for them to attack you , so that you can then

9:42

spring into action to actively protect

9:44

yourself from them when they arrive uninvited

9:47

and unwanted . So next

9:49

time you experience one of those thoughts

9:51

and wind up triggered by it , let's

9:53

remember your new framing statement . I

9:56

really want a way to make this stop right now so

9:58

I can feel better right away . But since that

10:00

doesn't appear to be a thing that I can do on a consistent

10:02

basis , how can I do my best at

10:04

the moment to improve my ability

10:06

to cope with these thoughts and how they make

10:09

me feel ? Then

10:11

, in an act that almost feels recklessly

10:14

and ridiculously risky , when you

10:16

feel like your thoughts are a real threat to you

10:18

, you take 10 seconds to identify

10:21

and describe five things you can see

10:23

in the room . Hmm

10:25

, I found five things . I

10:27

don't feel any better , but I did it , and

10:29

turning some of my attention to that little task

10:32

felt really wrong , but didn't result

10:34

in any kind of disaster , other than I still feel

10:36

bad . What if I try to find

10:38

and describe four things I can touch ? What

10:41

might happen then ? So see

10:43

where this is going . In this little example

10:45

, we're using 5-4-3-2-1 as an

10:47

experiment that helps you challenge

10:49

your belief that focusing only

10:52

on how you feel and what you're thinking

10:54

is your only safe course of action . Now

10:57

, please note that this is not designed to be

10:59

game-changing instantly for anyone

11:01

. It's a very small shift , a

11:03

small move . It's a little experiment

11:06

, small

11:09

shift , a small move . It's a little experiment , it's a first step , so please do your best to see it and

11:11

use it , if you choose to , in this way . When it feels absurd

11:13

to even consider that you might

11:15

focus on anything other than how you

11:18

feel and what you're thinking , this

11:20

is a way to give that a whirl , without trying

11:22

to solve your entire anxiety problem

11:24

or make it go away all in one shot . Solve

11:28

your entire anxiety problem or make it go away all in one shot . Now remember , this is not designed

11:31

to make you feel better , stop your thoughts or your panic or your symptoms

11:33

instantly , or even help you achieve

11:35

any particular state of being emotionally

11:38

or physically . This is not a calming

11:40

or panic-stopping exercise . I

11:43

know the internet portrays it that way

11:45

, but I'm trying to give it to you in a different

11:47

context and for a different reason . First

11:50

, we learn that we can move through

11:52

these triggered states . Then

11:55

we can start to see changes in how we feel

11:57

. That's our deal here . So

11:59

maybe we can use 5 , 4 , 3

12:01

, 2 , 1 and exercises like it within

12:03

this framework that I just gave you Now

12:06

. Maybe this is something you can chew on and consider

12:08

trying the next time you find yourself struggling . Remember

12:11

I'm never talking about doing

12:13

dangerous things , only difficult

12:16

things . So keep that in mind when your

12:18

anxious mind wants to insist that

12:20

taking your eyes off of that

12:22

pending psychotic break , which

12:24

is a very common example fear is a very

12:26

bad idea . We based almost

12:28

everything you hear on the anxious truth

12:30

, on the premise that thinking

12:33

about staying sane , for example

12:35

, has nothing to do with actually

12:37

staying sane . It's okay

12:39

to look for things that you can hear . That

12:42

doesn't make that feared psychotic break

12:44

, for example , any more likely . Doesn't make that feared psychotic break

12:46

, for example , any more likely . Everything is based on that premise

12:48

. So keep that in mind . And

12:51

that is episode 292 of the Anxious

12:53

Truth in the books . You know it's over because

12:55

, well , because I'm telling you it's over because

12:58

I have very little time for production this week , so

13:00

there's no music to be had at the end , I mean

13:02

, I guess , unless I decide to drop it in afterwards

13:04

, because I wind up with a few minutes before I have to leave

13:06

to my office to see actual therapy clients

13:08

, which I'm loving right now . Regardless

13:11

, if you find this content helpful , maybe

13:14

consider adding the podcast to your podcast library or list of favorite

13:16

or followed shows on whatever podcast app

13:18

you use , and if you really like it and

13:20

you're on Apple Podcasts or Spotify , maybe

13:23

consider leaving a five-star rating or even writing

13:25

a little review , because it helps more people find

13:27

the podcast on those platforms and then

13:29

more people get some help or encouragement or

13:31

empowerment . Of course , if you're watching or listening

13:33

listening this week there's no video on YouTube

13:36

maybe consider liking the video , hit the

13:38

thumbs up or subscribe to the channel . Those

13:40

things really do help me reach more people , and

13:42

feel free to leave a comment or a question in the comment

13:45

section . I will circle back around

13:47

when I can to interact with you guys

13:49

on YouTube , I promise . In fact , if

13:51

you have a question about a podcast episode , listening

13:56

to it or watching it on my YouTube channel is probably the best way to ask a question about that

13:58

. So thanks for spending time with

14:00

me today . I hope you found it helpful and

14:02

remember I'm going to remind you , like I always do , that

14:05

every little step you can take toward

14:07

recovery counts , because they

14:09

all add up and there are recovery

14:12

lessons to be found even in

14:14

the smallest challenges . Take

14:16

care , check out the extra resources on

14:18

my website at theanxioustruthcom , and

14:20

I will see you in Episode 293

14:22

. Thank

14:39

you

14:42

.