0:00

Please don't push me Please

0:02

don't push me But y'all push me Now

0:04

we got dwellers from Cali to flat Bush

0:06

B Now they got heat on they feet

0:09

that say press B And now we so

0:11

deep in the streets y'all can't stress me

0:14

Can't curse me Then bless

0:16

me I'm crucifying my flesh That's

0:19

less me SAT from

0:21

preaching Can't test me Atheists

0:23

are now believing That blessed

0:25

me Yeah We got

0:27

the basement replacing Any of those

0:29

roly pursues that y'all chasing Any

0:32

of those trials and tests that

0:34

y'all facing Any of the relationships

0:36

that y'all changing We rearranging

0:39

Making this shameship Giving Satan back what's

0:41

his That's the blame shift Rise up

0:44

and walk commands That's the lame shift

0:46

Cheat coats for living this life That's

0:48

the game shift All on your shoe

0:50

a man The rest is

0:52

manure man I'm dying daily So I

0:54

rise up a pure man Pressing B

0:56

daily To my sins looking fewer man

0:58

Watching the bloods to my sins down

1:01

the super man Yeah So press

1:03

B with me And let's

1:05

let whatever go be just B Uh Yeah

1:09

So press B with me And let's

1:11

let whatever go be just B Welcome

1:18

to the basement ladies and gentlemen

1:21

I am your host Tim Ross

1:23

Shout out to all

1:25

of my dwellers from all over the world

1:27

I hope you're all doing well I

1:30

don't know exactly Will

1:32

just gonna step in front of the camera Yo

1:41

Will's like I'm getting on this episode

1:43

I don't care what nobody say That

1:46

is hilarious Dude

1:49

that's so funny

1:53

Shout out to Will Will's in the

1:55

building today He helping us out And

1:58

he was so focused on doing whatever needed

2:00

to be done that he was

2:02

like I don't care which camera's on somebody

2:05

about to see my booty I'm

2:08

about to put it all out there it's gonna

2:10

be on it's about to go

2:13

out to the world that's craziness

2:16

oh my gosh

2:19

this is the Abbott and

2:21

Costello show yo man we

2:24

are what in

2:26

the ninja what

2:28

in the American ninja is going

2:30

on here oh my

2:34

gosh is it because

2:36

to Dashi's here is I think

2:38

I couldn't even do a proper intro

2:41

they just never

2:48

in the history of 30

2:50

seconds we've never

2:53

had a 30 seconds that chaotic it

3:06

was time hey man hey

3:08

man yo that's what's left

3:10

yo yeah yeah leave that

3:18

cuz I mean it's in front of my face yeah

3:20

I mean it's hanging on by a thread the

3:23

whole thing is nigga rig but I mean but

3:26

I guess yeah we can put some scotch tape

3:28

on it if you want you know or

3:31

two staples or whatever but we

3:33

in here okay I Wow

3:36

shout out to the dwellers man

3:40

Wow we are live

3:43

this is just it shout out to

3:45

everybody that's downloaded that B side

3:48

app thank you so much I appreciate you

3:50

thank you for supporting this platform helping

3:52

us normalize vulnerability

3:54

so that people are fully seen fully hurt

3:57

fully known fully loved even if

3:59

they're not fully agreed with That's why we exist. That's why we

4:01

are here. And yo,

4:04

Discord, ayo, so Discord

4:06

is my favorite because their

4:08

gift game is ridiculous. It's on point.

4:10

Yeah, somebody put the man in black

4:12

zapper, like we just going to race

4:14

that 30 seconds of chaos and that

4:16

way everybody's going to be all right.

4:19

But listen, ladies and

4:21

gentlemen, I

4:23

have a guest with me today. He

4:25

just put up to the crib and I'm

4:27

so grateful that he did. And

4:31

listen, your voice has been in this house

4:33

for years. My

4:36

boys put me on

4:38

to everybody. And years ago, bro,

4:41

I think the first song that I ever

4:43

heard from you was Riot.

4:47

And from Riot on, it was

4:49

like, Daddy, you ain't up on

4:51

game. Let me make sure

4:54

you get put up on game. Because I

4:57

wrapped growing up, then got saved,

5:00

battle wrapped for a little bit more. And

5:02

then it was gospel music. Yeah, yeah, yeah. John

5:05

P. Key. I just went back to the roots

5:07

of where I came from. He was like, that's

5:09

where I gotta go. And

5:11

then everybody, and then my boys was like,

5:14

do you know this person? Do you know this person? Do

5:16

you know this person? And embarrassingly

5:18

I didn't. Because I just, the

5:21

last, where I cut off was

5:26

cross movement. Cross movement, yeah. When they like

5:29

first came out. And

5:31

then I hadn't heard nothing since. And

5:34

that's only because I'm an introvert

5:36

and I didn't know. Bro,

5:38

as soon

5:40

as them boys put me on, they were young. I

5:43

mean, he's 16 now. I mean, this

5:46

is, they wasn't even in double digits

5:48

yet. Right, right. And bro. So

5:52

ladies and gentlemen, let me

5:54

properly introduce to some, present

5:56

to others. One

6:00

of the coldest rappers that you'll ever

6:02

hear, an

6:05

OG of 116. It's

6:09

Houston where you're from? Yeah, the Houston

6:11

area, yeah. Like, you

6:16

do Houston right. You

6:18

do Houston right. The Houstonians should

6:20

be proud to call you their

6:23

own. Ladies and gentlemen,

6:25

Todashi is in the building. Ladies

6:27

and gentlemen, let's go! Woo! Let's

6:31

go. Thank you for appearing on

6:33

the most chaotic episode that

6:36

we've ever had. I am honored, trust

6:38

me. I'm honored, bro. And then,

6:40

you know, the chaos just shows the reality of it,

6:42

the realness of it. Oh, bro, we don't hide none

6:45

of that. It's real, so I'm like, I love, welcome

6:47

that. I love that. Yeah, this is in our house.

6:49

I love that, I love that. We gotta wait on

6:51

this table. Cause if we take that off, that thing

6:53

is gonna fall. And

6:56

then I love how when the screen fell, I

6:58

was like, please don't hit him in the head.

7:00

Please don't hit him. And it missed him. Yes.

7:03

It missed him. But it was so funny to him, he

7:05

just laid there. I was like,

7:07

he needs this moment. Most

7:10

people would have been like, hey, you gotta move, we're

7:12

doing it right now. It's hard. Yeah, nah, we don't

7:14

do none of that. He just said, I gotta take

7:17

this moment. Yeah. And he

7:19

just left. But lay here and bask in

7:21

this. And I wish people could have saw

7:23

the humor, the joy that he felt in

7:26

that moment. Like, from his gut. He

7:28

was just. Ah! That's

7:32

exactly what it was. I

7:34

was like, yo man. So instantly

7:36

after all of that, I was like, all right, I'm

7:39

relaxed. You straight. I'm comfortable. I'm super

7:41

good. If we don't take that seriously, everything

7:44

else was, it's up from

7:46

here. It's up from here, man. It's up

7:48

from here, bro. I'm super good. Yeah, man.

7:50

Man, that's so funny, bro. Yo, thank you

7:52

so much for being here. Man, I'm honored.

7:54

Thank you. There's

7:56

a lot of people that may know

7:58

of you, but I always love my.

8:00

my first time guess to

8:02

just give us some backstory. Because a

8:05

lot of times when you wind

8:08

up reaching the type of success

8:10

you have reached, people think you've

8:12

been there a long time or you like, you came

8:14

out like that. Right? People

8:17

still believe in overnight successes. And

8:20

it's like, that's a delusion. That's

8:22

not it. No one's ever overnighted anything

8:24

except for FedEx package. Exactly. Right? So

8:27

like, where is Tadashi from? How did Tadashi

8:29

get to who he is now? Yeah, man.

8:31

So the longest short of it, Texas

8:35

native, born in East Texas

8:37

in a town called Lufkin, Texas. Okay. My

8:39

whole family originates from East Texas. Really? Yes,

8:42

sir. Wow. Mount Enterprise, Chisholm.

8:44

Stop. You know where Mount Enterprise is? Yes.

8:47

Most people don't know where Mount Enterprise is. Stop, bro.

8:49

Yeah, no, for real. I

8:52

usually have to say Timson. Yeah. Or

8:55

somewhere else we didn't know. Like around that area.

8:57

Mount Enterprise. I know Mount Enterprise. Yeah,

9:00

bro. That's where we all come

9:02

from. I used to go to

9:04

Revivals and Family Sundays in Mount

9:06

Enterprise. What? Yeah, yeah. I had a

9:08

cousin that lived there, but we had family

9:10

but friends as well. Yeah, for sure. So,

9:13

so. There had to be

9:15

some Rossons, Thompson's or Bryant's around there, bro.

9:17

Bryant's and Thompson's. Yeah. That's my

9:19

family, bro. There was. That's where LaCray

9:21

come from. That's his side. That's his side.

9:23

Yeah, absolutely. There was a woman named Joy

9:25

Bryant, who I used to know was from

9:27

that area. I would hang with her, but

9:30

like, bro, there's so many people from East Texas

9:32

that I'm, I know where it is, bro. Yes,

9:35

that's crazy. Born in Lufkin. My

9:37

mom was from a small town called

9:39

Gropeton, Texas. Okay. We lived

9:41

outside of Gropeton in Trinity County. We

9:44

lived in Trinity. And

9:46

so eventually I

9:49

ended up in the Trinity-Huntsville area.

9:51

Okay. Where San Houston State is.

9:53

Yeah. For most people, they don't

9:55

know what that is. Yeah. Because

9:58

Houston is only 40 minutes away. I'm from

10:00

the Houston area. Got you. I

10:02

understand. So that's how it makes sense for people. Yeah.

10:04

Same thing with Dallas. Exactly. Yeah. But

10:07

in addition to that, when I first started doing music and

10:09

eventually like got into everything, I

10:12

left, I was living in Houston when it

10:14

all went down. Gotcha. So Houston

10:16

always felt like home or my future home. It

10:18

was gonna be that. Yeah. But

10:21

it was, but growing up there, I leave,

10:23

I graduate, I go to college, I went to

10:25

Baylor, start playing ball

10:27

at Baylor. And Baylor is

10:29

where I came to know the Lord. Gotcha.

10:32

Leave Baylor after getting injured, couldn't play sports. So

10:34

I was like, well, I'm done with college. What

10:36

position did you play? Defensive in. Gotcha. And

10:39

I was like, I'm done with sports. I'm done with college because I

10:41

don't have sports no more. Right. So I leave college,

10:43

I go back home. And after a couple

10:45

of years of working, I was like, no, I

10:47

need to get a degree. Like I'm working

10:49

without a degree and going, gotcha. And

10:52

ain't gonna be here. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's

10:54

not gonna happen. And I eventually move up to

10:56

this area, North Texas, and start

10:58

attending the University of North Texas. And that's where

11:00

I meet. It's right up the street. Yeah. And

11:03

that's where I meet Craig, that's where I meet Joe

11:05

Baraka. And we

11:07

were all just friends, just kicking it.

11:09

And eventually we started

11:11

working and doing music together. And that

11:14

thing of overnight that you spoke about,

11:16

I feel like people think that because

11:20

when they get introduced to you,

11:22

they get introduced to you based

11:24

on something you've done. Correct. Not

11:26

where you come from. So because they see something

11:28

that you're doing, and they

11:30

attribute success, or their definition of

11:33

success matches what you're doing, they

11:35

just assume you've always had that. I'm like,

11:37

nah, that ain't been it, bro. We was

11:40

in the trenches. It wasn't

11:42

just, oh, one day I'm gonna start doing

11:44

music. Like for me, at the time

11:46

of starting to do music, I was on staff

11:48

at Denton Bible Church. I was

11:50

doing college ministry, and I was looking

11:53

to do it full time while I was

11:56

gonna go be a teacher or something. All

11:58

my family, they're educators, military. or both. So

12:01

that was going to be my world and

12:03

music showed up. Wow. Yeah. We

12:06

were just looking

12:08

at churches last night. Really?

12:11

And in this area, because I told my wife,

12:13

I don't, I haven't been a part of

12:15

a local church since I left Cali. And

12:17

Denton Bible was on

12:20

that list. Good church. Denton

12:23

Bible is a Bible

12:25

teaching church. And

12:27

mind you, I haven't been a Denton Bible in over

12:29

a decade. Right. Right. For sure. But as

12:31

far as I know, it's still a very

12:34

white church. Yeah. Got you. Understood.

12:36

Understood. So that, that experience, your,

12:38

your, your service experience will be

12:40

filtered through the white experience.

12:42

Yeah. I already had that. Yeah. I had that at Gateway.

12:45

I was like, Oh yeah, I'm good. We can be friends.

12:47

Yeah. Yeah. Why

12:51

can't we be friends? Okay.

12:54

So when did you actually start rapping though? While

12:56

I was here. Wow. So you hadn't put

12:59

pen to paper. Nothing. No, no, no. Once. So, so

13:02

what happened for me, easy one, what happened for me

13:04

when I was at Baylor, my

13:06

first time to ever try to rap, I was in high school

13:09

and people were sitting around in a

13:11

site for free stuff. Yeah. And I

13:13

was like, just enjoying

13:15

the moment. And then someone was like, Tedashi,

13:18

it's your turn. Right. Right. Right. And I was

13:21

like, Oh, I'll do this. I'll do

13:23

this. Right. But there

13:25

were girls around. Yeah. And I was

13:27

like, we ain't gonna go out in

13:29

front of the girl. I can't, I

13:31

can't fall short here. Yeah. Absolutely. So

13:33

I just started putting stuff together. Yeah.

13:35

And the, the nervous energy, the anxiety

13:37

around it, the excitement, something

13:40

happened and came out. And when I was done, everybody

13:43

was like, Oh, and I was like, what

13:45

just happened? I don't even know what I said. Wow. But

13:47

I think it was just one of those moments where, you

13:49

know, it's high school, like, as long

13:52

as you can put some words together, that makes

13:54

sense for people that you did it. Yeah, absolutely. So

13:56

that was my first attempt, but that experience made me

13:58

go, I want that. I should try that again. I

14:00

should try that again. Pretty soon,

14:03

I'm in college and

14:05

a guy who led me to Christ, the guy who led me

14:07

to Christ talked

14:09

me into doing a talent show. Once

14:13

I freestyled at one time, I just kept trying to freestyle over

14:15

and over and over and over and over and over. And

14:18

he was like, man, you should write

14:20

stuff down and actually rap about your

14:22

faith now. You should rap. And I'm

14:25

like, nah, I'm good. You

14:29

don't get a girlfriend rapping about God. That

14:32

was my thought in college. That's not the

14:34

formula. That's not the formula. I'm a freshman

14:36

in college. I'm playing football. I'm on the

14:38

track team. The last thing I want to

14:40

do in front of all, because it was

14:42

an AKA talent show. Last

14:44

thing I wanted to do in front of all these Greeks is

14:46

get up and rap about God. No, sir. He

14:51

was the one that led me to who the

14:53

Lord was, new life. And I

14:55

was like, he had to sway like

14:57

none other. Yeah, for sure. And I was like, all right, man,

14:59

I'll do it. And that was my first time to ever put

15:01

pen to paper. And

15:04

it was horrible. It went horrible. Out of

15:06

seven people, I got sixth place. The

15:08

person who got seventh got seventh because they didn't finish

15:10

what they started. That's

15:12

how bad it was. So he could have beat you too? So

15:15

he would have beaten you. No, he would have. He

15:17

would have. He would have just got done. If he

15:19

had just finished it, they would have been like, all

15:21

right, cool. He started singing and halfway through, forgotten he

15:23

left. He couldn't remember the words. And

15:25

he was nervous. Yeah, for sure. He was nervous. He

15:28

was the worst kind though. When you ditch the whole

15:30

thing. When you just quit. Oh, that's the worst. It

15:32

makes it worse on you. It does. It

15:34

makes it worse on you. Because he's a quitter to this

15:36

day. That's exactly it. He's a quitter to this day. So

15:38

no, no, no. But that's

15:41

the way you remember him. That is the

15:43

way you remember him. He's probably successful. No,

15:45

no, no. He graduated from Baylor. He's fine.

15:47

Okay. Praise God. But

15:49

he's fine. But in that moment, I knew it

15:51

was bad. You know it's bad when

15:54

people speak about when

15:56

they speak with adjectives. More

15:58

so than like direct. Yeah, like it's like

16:01

yo man. How was it? And they was

16:03

like, I mean he was up there They

16:07

speak with location and Man

16:10

you did that did it you

16:12

did it you literally did that

16:14

man you were saying some stuff

16:18

Okay, I heard what you didn't say but but

16:20

here's the thing I knew it wasn't

16:22

good when I finished I was like this wasn't as

16:24

good as it could have been for sure have been

16:26

I got you and and to be fair I was

16:28

like, I'm not gonna be there Everyone

16:33

Their their standard of hip-hop is what's popular

16:36

on the radio for sure world. That's right.

16:38

That's right city So I was

16:40

not wrapping up to standard to what they

16:42

assumed was the standard, right? So it was

16:44

it was already trash right for me. It

16:46

was I'm looking back. I'm like that was

16:48

it was horrible Yeah, for sure. So six

16:50

place was was deserving. Yeah for sure But

16:53

moving forward I didn't really try to write

16:55

or do anything like that until

16:57

I came to North Texas And

16:59

I was just like yeah, we would

17:02

all stand around and freestyle. Yeah and

17:04

Craig are really freestyle Yeah, and I

17:06

was like I'm competitive. Yeah, so it

17:08

was like Iowa. I gotta like make

17:10

mine better, right? I'm sure like show

17:12

off right now. Yeah, and so after

17:14

freestyling for like a year, you know

17:16

on campus Or after a Bible study

17:18

or something like that. Yeah, it

17:21

ended up that he Working

17:23

with a dude to work on an

17:25

album. Yeah, he was like, you know, you can really

17:27

wrap I want you on my album. Yeah, I was

17:29

like, no, I'm good. Yeah, I don't want to wrap

17:31

Yeah, and he was like why are you so good?

17:33

And in my mind do rap was rap

17:37

was like Not

17:39

certain. Mmm becoming a coach a

17:41

teacher going to the military that was certain

17:43

It was like I'm definitely gonna make a

17:45

paycheck. I'm definitely gonna have insurance. I'm definitely

17:47

gonna gonna do something in my life Rap

17:50

I don't know about that. Yeah, but

17:52

what sold me was I got to

17:56

Create something and I was always a creative

17:59

and I got to do it with people that

18:01

were friends for real. It wasn't just like a

18:03

business thing. It was, these were friends. So I

18:05

was like, you know what? I'll give it a

18:07

shot. We'll see. And I gave it one year

18:10

and I haven't been looking back since.

18:12

Dang, bro. This

18:16

image popped in my head when you

18:18

talked about rap not being certain. And

18:21

I believe this goes

18:23

for any creative outlet, whether

18:27

it's singing, rapping, comedy,

18:29

which I just stepped back into.

18:31

Let's go. Art,

18:36

whatever. It's

18:40

like playing tennis or

18:43

golf, right? Like, when

18:45

I talk about basketball, when I talk about

18:48

making a team, because some people will make

18:50

the team just for locker room presence, right?

18:52

They ain't gonna ever beat, Juwan Howard stayed

18:54

in a jersey just because

18:56

of what he meant to the

18:58

locker room, right? He was never

19:00

gonna break the gym shorts off,

19:02

right? So

19:06

it's like tennis or golf or swimming

19:08

or track, where

19:12

it's like, if I enter this, it's

19:14

me against the field. Yeah. It

19:17

ain't like, if I could get on the team, it's

19:20

you against the field. And

19:22

if you don't make the qualifiers,

19:25

you're not gonna be in the finals. And to your

19:27

point, and I think this is, I

19:30

feel like this is what you're alluding to even

19:32

more, it's exposing. It

19:34

is. When

19:37

your team doesn't do well, you

19:39

don't get called out as well. Right, right, exactly.

19:41

Now, granted, I play football, I play basketball, I

19:43

did all this stuff, but

19:45

playing football, if I miss an open tackle,

19:47

well, they on my head. But

19:50

if the defense doesn't stop them, the defense

19:52

can't stop them. That's right, that's exactly right.

19:54

So you kind of get a

19:56

pass, you get a little bit of a

19:58

scapegoat, but with track. Like when I did

20:00

track, when I went track, if you don't

20:02

show and prove, that's on you. Yeah, for

20:04

sure. And you are fully exposed. Yeah, yeah.

20:06

And so music is the same way. Creativity,

20:08

art is the same way. Yeah. The only,

20:10

I think the only difference is, in

20:15

sports, there are technical and

20:18

fundamental things that you do.

20:20

Yeah. In creativity, there are

20:22

fundamental and technical things that you can add,

20:24

but it's still coming from your very essence.

20:26

Yeah, for sure. This is coming from out

20:29

of who you are. Right, for sure. So

20:32

it's attached to you in a different way. And

20:34

so when I did field events, I

20:36

did shop in Discus, and when I

20:38

would do my spin for Discus, I didn't come

20:40

up with spinning. Right. I just had to learn

20:43

the technique that somebody had when they created it.

20:45

Facts. I didn't come up with hip hop per

20:47

se, but I definitely have to have my own

20:49

identity within it. Yeah. And no one in track

20:51

is saying, your spin looks too

20:53

Russian. It should be more American. Right. Nobody's

20:55

doing that. Nobody's like, your technique is this.

20:58

It should be better. But with creativity, they

21:00

like, you just sound like a knockoff, this

21:02

or that. Right. So because of my voice,

21:04

and because I grew up in Houston, and

21:06

because I was a super fan, everybody

21:08

was, when I came, I was like, bro, you sound just

21:10

like Bum B. Right, for sure. And I was like, thank

21:14

you? Right. I don't know how to feel about that.

21:16

Right, right, right, right, right. But ultimately, it was not

21:18

as bad. You don't sound like you. What are you

21:20

going to be? Yeah. And so you're right. You end

21:22

up being exposed. Yeah, for sure. It's

21:25

a different thing. Now, I'm

21:27

very interested in, it

21:32

sounds like you entered

21:35

this career from a place

21:37

of like, we'll give it

21:39

a shot. Yeah, very much

21:42

so. As opposed to, this

21:45

is my desire. Exactly. Right. Yeah. I

21:49

know what that feels like. On

21:52

in ministry. Mm-hmm. Can

21:55

you please, if you

21:57

can, if it wouldn't be too difficult,

21:59

articulate. I don't know how to translate

22:02

the liberty or the

22:04

freedom there is when

22:07

you don't have a mindset of like, this

22:10

is all I was riding on and if

22:12

it don't work, then I'm dead. Because

22:15

that's how I was, based

22:18

on what I hear you saying, it

22:20

sounds like the way I was in ministry. I

22:23

was just always like, I guess God want me

22:25

to do it. But I was never like, here

22:27

I am Lord use me. You know what I'm

22:29

saying? So like, did that change

22:31

the way you could move? For sure. But

22:33

throughout your career and everything? Yeah. I

22:36

think there's two sides of that coin. So on the

22:38

one side with what you're alluding to, yes,

22:41

I did not have the same

22:44

pressures or the

22:46

same burdens that other people

22:48

walked with when they felt like this was their

22:50

one trick pony. Right, right, right. This they ticket,

22:52

this all they got. Yeah, for sure. And I

22:54

was like, no, I don't see it that way.

22:57

I actually got into this for

23:00

friend engagement, not people engagement. Right, right, right, for

23:02

sure. When people are writing songs, they're trying to

23:04

perform and they're wanting the people to, I'm

23:06

like, nah, as long as my homie's cool with

23:09

me, I'm good. Yeah, for sure. And so

23:11

I never knew that pressure. Yeah. On

23:13

the other side of that coin though, and I think this is,

23:16

when you don't, and I would

23:19

love to hear your thoughts on it, when you

23:21

don't have that perspective of like, this is it

23:23

for me, this is it for me. Yeah. I

23:26

struggled at times to really own that

23:28

I was a rapper, because

23:31

I didn't come into it with the idea that

23:33

this is what I am. So

23:35

I was like, hmm, I guess I'm just

23:37

gonna have to remember I'm not

23:39

an athlete anymore. Right, right, right. I'm a

23:42

rapper now. Yeah. It took me

23:44

five years to admit like, oh yeah, music is what

23:46

I do. Yeah. Because for so long I

23:48

was like, no, I just do, I just rap, but

23:50

I do other stuff. Yeah. And it

23:53

was difficult to own

23:55

it, or feel comfortable in that

23:58

box. Yeah. Did you feel that at

24:00

all? But interestingly enough,

24:02

I think it was longer for me. I

24:10

was 12 years into

24:12

preaching before

24:15

I was like, oh, I guess this is what

24:19

I need to push all my chips to

24:21

the middle of the table for. Yes, yes.

24:23

Yeah. So when

24:25

I think of identifying myself as

24:27

something, that's one thing. But the

24:29

buy-in, the full buy-in, it

24:33

was probably 10, 11 years for me. Yeah, yeah. Like,

24:35

I know I had been doing it and I was

24:37

three albums in and I was like, I

24:40

guess this is what I do. That's wild. I need to

24:42

put all my energy into this. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And

24:44

the funny thing was, and Craig, so

24:46

Craig's always been a friend. He was a friend before

24:48

we did music. Craig would always say

24:51

like, man, it'd be amazing. Like, it's gonna be

24:53

dope one day when you finally put all your

24:55

effort into this. Wow. Because he could see

24:57

it. And he was like, man, this is, I would

24:59

show up as if it

25:01

was like a bootcamp. Yeah,

25:04

yeah. Like, all right, let's do some music. Right, right, right,

25:06

exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And

25:08

then we're like. It was CrossFit for you. Exactly,

25:10

exactly. We're gonna have an intense 45-minute session. And

25:12

then we done. And we done. And it's like,

25:14

okay, here's the album. I'm out now. Yeah, yeah.

25:17

And they're like, what? What are you doing? Yeah, exactly. And

25:20

so there was that

25:22

perspective of it. And so even

25:24

though I had the freedom, I

25:28

had the freedom from the angst

25:31

and obligation of like, this is all I got. This is

25:33

what I gotta lean on. That

25:35

gave me freedom to create however I felt.

25:38

I would not have created Riot if

25:40

I felt the pressures of all

25:42

I got is this. It can't be anything. It can't

25:44

mess up. I had the freedom to just go in

25:46

and be like, well, I'm gonna just do this. I

25:49

didn't care what hip hop was doing. I didn't care

25:51

what people thought. I'm just like, I'm gonna do this.

25:54

Probably my biggest song so far is Dum Dum.

25:57

That Dum Dum, Diddy Dum. Yeah,

25:59

bruh. That song is a bop, bro. Thank

26:02

you, bro. So Dumb Dumb was a

26:04

song that I chose to do. I got a

26:06

beat from a dude. He was a producer. He's

26:08

a producer named Jita. And Jita sent

26:10

this beat in and I heard it. And it was

26:12

just a beat pack. And I heard

26:14

it and I was like, this the one. I'm a dude. But

26:17

I'm from Houston. I'm from the Houston area.

26:20

I'm Southern. I'm not

26:22

West Coast. And I don't

26:25

have a tone that's natural. And

26:30

I'm from the West Coast. So to

26:32

take this West Coast vibe dance beat

26:34

and rap on it, it was

26:37

like, what are you doing? This is not who

26:39

you are. So the label was

26:41

like, don't do that song. I was like,

26:43

no, we're good. Don't do that one. That's

26:45

not you. And I wouldn't let it go

26:47

because they had the parameters and

26:49

the restraints of this is what we

26:51

leaning on. You can't do that. You're

26:53

gonna mess up what you already got.

26:56

And I didn't have that. I was free. I

26:59

can do whatever I want. I'm

27:01

not bound to that feeling that you have.

27:04

That idea, that obligation, that constraint. I

27:06

don't do that. So I recorded it.

27:08

And now I was smart enough to

27:10

know if this feels

27:12

awkward. I'm smart enough to know just

27:14

from a interacting with people standpoint,

27:17

if I go to a place and it's

27:19

weird for me to be there, then I'm

27:21

gonna take somebody with me who is not

27:23

weird for and they'll help ease me in.

27:25

So I'm like, yeah, I know to put

27:27

Kray on this. He got

27:29

a West Coast vibe and it'll ease people into this

27:31

with me doing it. Yeah, for sure. And

27:34

it worked. And they came

27:36

back later like, I didn't think this was

27:38

gonna work, but that worked for you. And

27:40

that song opened the door for the label

27:43

to be like, do whatever.

27:45

Wow. You already have

27:47

the talent to do whatever, but now

27:49

it seems you have the grace from

27:51

the people to do whatever. Yeah, for

27:53

sure. And so again, on the flip

27:56

side of that, I didn't have

27:58

the buy-in on my own. So I was like. I'm

28:00

not gonna give that much effort to it. I'm just trying

28:03

to do something. It was

28:05

like after Blacklight, after Dumb Dumb, after Riot,

28:07

I looked up and I was like, I

28:10

think this is what I do now. I gotta

28:12

put all my energy into this. And even though

28:14

10 years, 11 years is a thing, 12 for

28:16

you, that

28:18

time fly when you're busy. It's true.

28:21

So you don't really have time to step back

28:23

and take stock of everything happening. You just look

28:26

up one day and go, I'm

28:28

on stage a lot right now. Is

28:30

this what I'm doing? Is this what you're doing? Yeah, uh-huh.

28:32

So yeah, I mean, if you think about it, four

28:36

years of college, two years master's

28:38

program, three to four

28:40

more years, PhD, by the time

28:42

you get done, you're like, yeah, I guess I'm

28:45

a professor now. That's exactly how it goes. But

28:47

you just got your nose to the grindstone. That's

28:49

exactly right. And then you look up like, I

28:51

guess I should apply for a job at this

28:54

college university. Yeah, absolutely, yeah. So I felt

28:56

the same way. I was like, man, I spent X

28:58

number of years doing this. And I look up and I'm like,

29:01

all right, for my own experience,

29:03

for the people's experience, and

29:05

clearly what God is doing, I think this

29:07

is it. Yeah, for sure. What I do. Your 10,000

29:10

hours was in. Facts, bro. Yeah. No,

29:12

it's fascinating. I appreciate you sharing that because I'm

29:15

a nerd for the details of

29:17

the nuances of how people got

29:19

into stuff. And I

29:22

went through ministry the

29:24

same way. And

29:26

I'm now out on the other side.

29:28

But I think one of the reasons

29:30

why I could also transition out of

29:32

it is because of the way I

29:34

got into it. So I did fully,

29:36

I went all in and

29:40

went where God wanted me to. But when he tapped

29:43

me on the shoulder and said, okay, I want you

29:45

to come over here. It wasn't like my whole identity

29:47

is here. I can't do nothing else. I was like,

29:49

man, I only went all in because you

29:52

just kind of didn't let nothing else work. You

29:54

know what I'm saying? This just kept opening wider

29:56

and wider. Yeah. So I just

29:58

reckon you was there. Yeah. I had to push all

30:00

into it, but now I get to do this on

30:02

this side as well. And feel

30:04

the same way. I'm

30:07

in that season. I'm in that season. So

30:10

I don't have buy-in in the same

30:12

way other people

30:14

do. So

30:18

just rapping all the time doesn't,

30:21

I know this is who I am or what I

30:23

can do, but

30:25

I'm like, I still hold it

30:28

with an open hand. But it never was clenched. It

30:31

was just like you said, well Lord, you keep

30:33

making this happen. I guess I'm leaning into it. For

30:35

sure. But at some point

30:37

I started to realize there

30:39

are other things that God has given me that I

30:41

can do that I should be leaning into. So

30:45

as I do that, I can see less

30:47

and less music happening, but

30:50

I don't feel grieved by that. I don't feel

30:52

bothered by that. For sure. I'm still

30:54

doing music. I got a Christmas project dropping

30:57

this Friday. Oh dope. This

30:59

Friday. This coming Friday. Oh, let's get it. So

31:01

I'm doing that. I

31:04

got like 40 songs in the clip

31:06

for all next year, like just lined

31:08

up. Like I have music. Yes you

31:10

do. But that's,

31:14

when I say my focus isn't there, I

31:17

got emails right now and I know I'm gonna get

31:19

out of here when I'm done with you and the

31:21

label's gonna be like, by the way, tomorrow we're recording

31:23

this, we're filming this, we're filming it. And I'm so

31:25

on to the next thing that

31:28

I gotta remember like, oh yeah, but I do have

31:30

responsibilities. Yeah, absolutely. But I'm with you. I'm like, I'm

31:33

opened up to so much more now. I

31:36

don't feel angst if this isn't the

31:38

theme for me like it once was.

31:40

Yeah, for sure. So there's public speaking,

31:42

there's acting, there's writing. There's all these

31:45

other avenues that I'm like, I

31:47

know this is what I'm supposed to be. Yeah, for sure. Now,

31:51

have you already started stepping into those? I

31:54

have. Okay, great. Yeah, I have. I

31:56

was voice acting. Okay, great. Oh, that's

31:58

awesome. Yeah, bro. So you got a

32:00

great voice. Thank you, bro. Yeah, for

32:02

sure. So I went and started taking

32:04

classes. Okay. And staffed it. Yeah. Stop,

32:06

stop, stop, stop, stop. I

32:10

just want to do a cartwheel right now. Okay. Did

32:13

y'all hear this man? First of all, where we at in

32:16

the chat? Who up in here?

32:18

Who up in here? Who up in here? You say we

32:20

deep? Okay.

32:22

What's up? Listen. Okay,

32:25

so peep game. I need y'all.

32:28

Hopefully everybody just heard that. Discord

32:32

and live chat. Let me tell

32:35

you why this is important. So

32:39

many times, we

32:41

will just rely on our talent. Come on. And

32:46

we settle for being good enough. Yes.

32:48

Yes, bro. Bro

32:51

said, you know,

32:53

I started getting in the voice acting.

32:55

Not after I'm Todashi. Y'all

32:58

hear my voice is dope. Let

33:00

me in. Yeah. I started taking

33:02

voice acting class. Yeah, bro. Yeah.

33:05

Okay, I just continue. No,

33:07

that's a great point. I'm glad you highlighted

33:09

that. So for

33:11

anybody, anybody

33:14

trying to do something different, what

33:16

you don't tend to realize, and this is

33:19

I started taking classes because I don't want

33:21

to suck. Like, I'm like, I don't want

33:24

to suck at this. Me either. I didn't

33:26

originate this. I didn't create it. I don't

33:28

maintain it. So how am I going to

33:30

step into it like I do or I know? Right. Right. Right. Right.

33:32

So I don't want to suck at this, but on the other side

33:34

of it, there

33:37

is a craftsmanship

33:42

to this art form. For sure. How

33:44

dare I walk into it disregarding...

33:47

Yes, sir. ...the things that

33:49

people have done or the care

33:51

that they take when they do it. I

33:54

needed to become aware of that. I never want to...

33:57

Anything that I do, I never want to... disrespect

34:00

or disregard the craft. I'm like. You

34:02

walk in as a student. Exactly. Yes,

34:04

sir. And I knew music

34:07

is not a one-to-one to voice acting. Right. Facts.

34:10

It's not the same. Facts. There are certain things

34:13

that have benefited me as an artist. For sure. Now

34:15

that I step into this. Yeah. But that

34:17

doesn't mean that I have the right

34:19

to walk into it. So DJ Guido

34:21

is a DJ from New York. Okay.

34:24

I hit him, or I put on Twitter one day, like,

34:26

hey, I'm thinking about doing voice acting. Yeah. If

34:29

there's anyone that's doing this, I'd love to pick their brain. Yeah.

34:32

And he connected me with a guy who happened

34:34

to be in Atlanta. Okay. And

34:36

his name is Donovan. Donovan is the voice

34:38

of The Today Show. Oh, wow. He's the

34:40

voice of most BET things. Yep. And

34:43

he's just a phenomenal dude. Yeah. But

34:46

we connected because Donovan's also a hip-hop head. Yeah.

34:49

So when we linked up, he gave me the

34:51

real. And he was like, man, I'm grateful that

34:53

you're willing to take this route. Because a lot

34:55

of artists I talk to don't honor the craft.

34:57

Wow. And I come in thinking, well,

34:59

my voice is nice. You said it. Yeah, for sure.

35:02

My voice is nice. I have a name. I got a following.

35:04

You might as well just let me in. Yeah, right. Exactly.

35:06

And he's like, that ain't it. That ain't it. That's not

35:08

how it works. And he said, here's the other side. And

35:10

he said, this is what makes me so sad. People

35:13

will come in doing it, present

35:16

themselves with what they

35:18

have talent-wise, but there's

35:21

a technique to this. There's a

35:23

formula. There's a way

35:25

about doing it. And when these

35:27

producers, casting directors, and execs see

35:29

that you don't know that, they know you didn't do

35:32

the work. So then they start talking.

35:34

Hey, you know what I mean? I mean, he famous,

35:36

but, or he got a following, but man, people know

35:38

him, but he didn't really practice. He didn't notice. He

35:40

don't notice anything. He didn't even know what a slate

35:43

was. He didn't know what this was. So pretty soon,

35:45

he was like, you don't want to

35:47

ever be put in that position. So take the time to

35:49

learn it. He said, and it won't take long. He was

35:51

like, I can hear now. It was not going to take

35:53

long for you, but at least honor the craft and do

35:55

it. Show respect to

35:57

those who've already done it before you. Yeah. classes.

36:00

I took a year of classes, ended

36:02

up finding an agent in Beverly Hills

36:04

and was represented by her for a

36:06

year. And I've started, I've read for

36:08

some commercials. The coolest thing for

36:10

me so far is probably there's

36:13

a guy named Chaz Smith out

36:15

of Cali. Chaz is, yeah, he's

36:17

doing an animated series on the

36:22

book of Daniel. And I'm reading for

36:25

King Nebuchadnezzar. Oh, then I already heard you. I

36:27

didn't even know that was you. Yeah, so I'm

36:29

reading for King Nebuchadnezzar. And then

36:31

the other thing, when the Rangers went to

36:33

the World Series, I read for one of

36:35

their commercials. That's dope. And so I'm just

36:38

like, I was

36:40

at home and not sure

36:42

about what to do because

36:44

I was holding on to something so tightly, afraid

36:47

that I was gonna miss out if I

36:49

don't try. I can't do that. I should

36:52

just stay focused here. And then followed

36:55

what I felt like God was telling me to do. Yeah. Leaned

36:57

into it. And now I'm doing it. So,

37:00

okay, we could get lost here. Yeah,

37:02

bro. We could get lost here, bro.

37:04

Because I am, I

37:06

am, I

37:09

am acutely aware that

37:12

when you've been doing something for a very long

37:14

time and you've had a lot of success and

37:17

you feel like there's more, there

37:20

is, there is a, I

37:22

don't want

37:25

to talk about levels. You

37:30

have to give yourself, I'll say it this way

37:32

and then if it's wrong, we'll just keep wordsmithing.

37:34

For sure. If you don't give yourself

37:37

permission to do it, you will not

37:39

do it. You will not do it. Because this is

37:41

comfortable. This is familiar. Yeah. This

37:43

is already set. You already know what

37:45

to expect. And so if you

37:47

don't give yourself permission to do it and you don't have

37:49

the bravery to get out

37:52

there and the humility to be

37:54

dumb, right? To be

37:57

ignorant. I don't know how this works. I

38:00

don't know. I don't know. It would

38:02

be just easier to be like, nah, I

38:04

know this. I know this, this is comfortable,

38:06

familiar. I'm good with this. And another Thanos

38:08

snap of five years ago by. Right. And

38:11

then you got deep regret. Disappointment,

38:14

heartbreak, the what if

38:17

game starts and that runs you rampant,

38:19

shame shows up. Yeah, bro,

38:21

you're right. And so

38:23

myself, I think for anybody

38:26

watching, listening, and like, whatever

38:29

it, when people say the phrase, it's never

38:31

too late. Yeah. It's never too

38:33

late to start over. It's never too late to do it again. I

38:36

think I used to think of that statement as, it's

38:39

never too late to lose everything

38:42

and then do something different. And I was

38:44

like, I haven't lost anything. Right. Now granted,

38:47

it's not gonna be exactly what it once

38:49

was. Right, for sure. But nothing stays the

38:51

same. Yeah, absolutely. The seasons. So as I

38:53

recognize that there are seasons, I also recognize

38:56

this is my opportunity to grow

38:58

beyond what I am. And

39:00

to honestly, hopefully embody

39:02

the fullness of what God made me

39:04

to be. For sure. Like that's where

39:07

the real thing came in. Absolutely. And

39:09

so from a purpose standpoint, I knew

39:11

that I was gonna be in disobedience

39:14

if I did not pursue the fullness of who he made

39:16

me to be. And not let,

39:18

and when you say courage,

39:21

oftentimes it was the

39:23

assumed words of another

39:25

person in my head. Not

39:28

the factual, actual words. The

39:30

assumed words that they would say. Like, yeah, they're

39:32

not gonna let me do this. Who is they?

39:34

Well, the people that's gonna say, you shouldn't do

39:37

that. It's wrong for you to do that. You're

39:39

gonna mess up. You're gonna fail. The assumed words

39:41

that they said, bruh, would be the

39:43

thing I had to be courageous towards. What? Yeah.

39:47

Yeah. Oh.

39:52

So I can hear my life coach in my head.

39:54

Yeah, bruh. When we project,

39:56

when we have those projecting thoughts,

39:59

she was like, would make us, she

40:01

wouldn't let us stay at they. Right.

40:04

She would get us down to my

40:07

mom. That's it. That's it, bro. My

40:09

best friend, my spouse, my who is

40:11

they? You know what I'm saying? Who

40:13

is the person you're intimidated? Exactly. Who

40:16

is the person that you need approval

40:18

from? That's the work. That's the work.

40:20

The work. You got to go there.

40:22

Yeah. My mentor, she would say, she

40:24

would say, who is they? Yeah. And

40:26

then she would say, okay, so let's

40:28

play it out. So let's

40:31

say you do it and they're right. You

40:33

messed up. Now what? Right. Now

40:35

what? What did it cost you? What? But the

40:37

way she plays it out for me is like,

40:40

the question always ends up being, and

40:42

then what? That's just says, and then

40:44

what? And then what? Oh, well,

40:46

I failed. And then what? Well, now people are

40:48

going to call me a failure. Okay. And then

40:50

what? And you boil it down

40:52

to the reality of I'm still alive. That

40:55

part. I did not lose any value.

40:57

Right. I am capable of still doing

40:59

what I was doing. Yeah, you didn't

41:01

lose anything. The fear is lying to

41:03

you. The lot

41:05

the words of the assumed words of

41:07

others are hindering you from seeing the truth

41:10

that you are still okay. And

41:13

her teasing that out to that point, always

41:15

benefited me. So it's the who and the

41:17

end and the what you like what's gonna

41:20

happen? Yeah. And then what? And then what?

41:22

Yeah. So I just went for it. Yeah.

41:24

So where I am now, I

41:26

do voice acting. I'm working on a reel

41:29

for on camera acting. Great. And

41:31

stage. I'm on October.

41:35

This is October. Yes, sure. So

41:38

November ish is the plan. Like

41:40

I've been planning it out. But yeah, November

41:42

ish. Going into

41:44

December is when I started auditioning for stuff.

41:46

Great. And then beyond that, the other side

41:48

of everything, I have been

41:51

I've been a communicator since as far

41:53

as I can remember. Yeah. sixth grade was my first

41:55

time to do a public speech. And

41:57

I loved it. Yeah, everybody else was nervous. as

42:00

I got behind the podium, the first thought I

42:02

had was like, they gotta listen. They

42:05

gotta listen. But the next thought was,

42:09

this is so invigorating to

42:11

me. So I

42:14

started doing public speaking. I was doing

42:16

competitions. I was working

42:19

and doing, working with a team of people.

42:21

And we would just go around and speaking

42:23

at schools, or we would speak at organizations,

42:25

Lions Clubs, stuff like that. And then when

42:28

I became a Christian, I went

42:30

to my mom's pastor in East Texas and I was

42:32

like, hey man, I got saved in college and I

42:34

think God wants me to speak. And

42:36

so after two years of being with him, I got

42:39

ordained in the Missionary Baptist Church, started preaching. And

42:41

so speaking was always a part of my life. When

42:44

I moved to North Texas, it was to finish

42:46

my degree. And I was doing college

42:48

ministry on the side. But when you ministry

42:52

in black and white churches, flesh

42:54

itself out differently, in my

42:56

experience. When I started doing

42:58

college ministry at Denton Bible,

43:00

you're not everything.

43:03

You're a component of something. At the

43:05

Missionary Baptist Church, it was two of

43:07

us, you everything. And so I

43:10

was only doing outreach. So I wasn't necessarily on

43:12

stage all the time speaking, but I would at

43:14

times, but I was more outreach. We gonna go

43:16

cast a net on campus. You're gonna bring them

43:18

all in. We're gonna bring them to the service.

43:20

We're gonna get them involved. And so before

43:23

long, I found myself doing

43:25

more evangelism than just proclamation.

43:27

But beyond that, music

43:30

showed up. So the preaching started

43:32

to happen from the stage in between

43:34

songs. So from young

43:37

age up to now, I've always been a

43:39

communicator. And I felt the conviction of like,

43:41

I should be doing that. I should be

43:44

moving into that. But again,

43:47

well, what are they gonna say? They don't know

43:49

that. Maybe you shouldn't. And

43:51

I'm leaning into it. So I started meeting

43:54

with a person who's helping with... They're

43:58

helping refine what I do. do. And

44:02

I said with boldness more so

44:04

than arrogance, I'm like, I

44:06

know how to do that. Yeah, for sure. So I'm

44:09

going to lean into that more. Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

44:12

It sounds

44:15

like more of a quality assurance check than like,

44:18

hey, I don't know what I'm doing. I want to get into

44:20

this. So

44:24

I did comedy 25 years ago. I started

44:27

doing stand up. Same thing, like people always said

44:29

I was funny. So when

44:33

I got to Dallas, I looked up somebody

44:35

that taught comedy classes. And

44:39

the guy that I went to, Dean, shout

44:41

out to Dean, he used

44:43

to write for Leno

44:45

and DeGeneres back in the day. So

44:49

he taught us how to like structure

44:52

funny and how to get, I

44:55

had that more as a foundation

44:57

for sermons than I had, this

45:00

is how you preach. Yeah. Right?

45:02

So because I got

45:05

saved January 14th to 96. I preached my first

45:07

sermon five weeks later. Wow. February 25th to 96.

45:10

Stop. And it's been 28 years. So

45:14

I'm sitting there getting this

45:16

structure on formulas for for

45:19

comedy and was like, Oh, okay. And

45:25

did it for two years and then

45:28

had an opportunity to start going

45:30

to the improv regularly. And

45:33

I had so much religion in me,

45:35

I thought it was like Satan baiting

45:37

me into a disconnection

45:40

from God. So I ran from

45:42

it out of pure terror

45:44

and fright. Right. So 25

45:46

years later, last year, when I'm in

45:48

Australia, the Holy Spirit brings the desire

45:51

back to me. Like

45:55

it was, it was like getting your

45:57

toy back. You know what I mean? And so

46:00

So I did a show

46:02

in Benton, Louisiana, died

46:04

of a city, right? Went to Benton

46:07

and did a show, thought

46:09

I only had like 20 minutes and I

46:11

did an hour four. Shut up. And- Yo,

46:15

bro. Yeah, it was- Out

46:17

of not doing this forever, you had an hour of

46:19

material. I'm not saying it was all good, but I

46:21

was, maybe I should say I

46:23

was up there for, it might've been

46:26

in material, but I was up there, right? So

46:28

I did an hour four and

46:31

I'm like, I don't know what to do from here. Well,

46:33

my dad gets sick in January, dies

46:35

in February, I have a book

46:38

that releases in March, and so this whole

46:40

year has been crazy. And

46:42

then I'm in LA in the first

46:45

week of September and

46:48

the Holy Spirit says, now, you gotta start back

46:50

now. So I

46:52

get home Friday, no, I get home

46:55

Saturday morning. I am at the Dallas

46:57

comedy club signing up for a five

46:59

minute open mic Sunday evening.

47:01

Wow. And for two weeks,

47:04

I am in comedy clubs fighting

47:06

for five and 10 minutes, right?

47:09

Name on the list at 9.30, you

47:11

ain't going up to 11.40, and

47:13

there's only five people in there, including yourself,

47:15

right? And the janitor, he's already

47:18

mopping. He's already cleaning. Yeah, right? And so,

47:21

and then I told my wife, I was like, no,

47:24

I'm about to, like,

47:27

it's time for me to do something. Yeah. And

47:30

she was like, okay, how? I

47:32

said, I'm gonna just do it myself. I'm

47:35

gonna just run out of spot and I'm gonna, I'm

47:38

gonna invite some people and if they come, I'm gonna see

47:40

what's popping. Yeah. So

47:42

my first show was two weeks ago. Yeah. Tadashi,

47:48

I have never been so happy to

47:52

have felt that nervous. Bro,

47:56

you know when you've been doing, you notice.

47:58

When you've been doing something along, and maybe

48:00

you felt this. getting into voice acting, I

48:03

hadn't been nervous speaking in

48:06

over two decades. Yeah, bro. Yeah. You

48:08

know what I'm saying? It's like, this is what I

48:11

do. Like, oh, what? What

48:13

we do, who we hear, who he, it's 5,000 people. It's

48:15

20,000 people. It's 50,000. Well,

48:17

this is what we do. This is what we do. I'm

48:19

just going to do it. You know what I mean? And

48:21

so I'm just going to do it. And there might be

48:23

a little bit of, but your whole nervous system is used

48:25

to this environment. Right? Bro, if

48:29

I had anything to boo boo out. It

48:31

would have been then. It would have, like my

48:34

whole body, like I

48:36

had so much anxiety.

48:38

My lips was numb. I

48:41

was trying to feel my fingers. Everything

48:43

was buzzing. Yeah, bro. I

48:45

had imposter syndrome. I sold

48:47

out a show. You know what I'm saying? And

48:49

I felt like, you're

48:51

a fake. You ain't at

48:54

the improv. Right. You

48:56

put your whole thing together. This ain't real? This ain't

48:58

real. This ain't real? You know what I mean? This

49:00

ain't Comic View fool. You know what I mean? You

49:02

ain't Kevin Hart. You didn't fill out the

49:05

Philadelphia State. I don't even know what they

49:07

stayed. I don't even know what they stayed

49:09

in, man. I just know it. It's a

49:12

stadium in Philadelphia. Okay. You didn't fill out

49:14

the Philadelphia stadium, right? All this stuff. And

49:17

so when I got up, it's the first

49:19

thing I addressed. That's huge. Hector

49:21

introduced me. I was like, it's only 60 people.

49:23

That's the only thing about fit. Fire

49:26

code will shut us down if we got more than 60 in there. And

49:29

I literally was like, yo, I

49:33

got imposter syndrome and I don't feel like I deserve for

49:35

y'all to be here. And I just

49:38

need to put that out. And here's

49:41

the show. And I did an hour 42. Congrats,

49:44

bro. Congratulations. Yeah. That's

49:47

beautiful. Yeah, man. That's amazing, bro. And then

49:49

you got off stage and boobooed everything. Then

49:52

he was like, bro, oh, now I can release them.

49:54

I did not. I didn't go to

49:56

sleep till 5 AM. I believe it. I was

49:58

up like this. I'll believe it, bro. in the

50:00

dark. Yo man. I was

50:02

catatonic bro. I believe you. But my body needed

50:04

that. Facts. My body needed that. And when I

50:06

went this past Friday, we did it again. I

50:09

did 205. And

50:11

was loose. Dang man, I'm

50:14

leaving. I'm like, I need to see one of these.

50:16

Oh. So here's what's beautiful about

50:18

this. First of all, again, congratulations. Thank you

50:21

bro. I commend you. Thank you

50:23

man. Like, I don't take that lightly. I don't want to just fly by that.

50:25

Cause that's the

50:27

level of, the level

50:29

of bravery. That's what it, that's

50:31

what, that's why I brought the whole thing up. Yeah.

50:34

The level of bravery that it takes for you to

50:36

say, this thing that I

50:38

don't know, I mean that I don't do

50:40

not commonly, that I'm not known for commonly.

50:42

This thing that I have not engaged with

50:45

in forever. I'm going to do it. That's

50:47

right. I'm going to do this. And then

50:49

on top of that, to say, to

50:51

have the audacity to say, I'm going to just

50:53

put my own thing together. That's right. And then

50:55

do so. Yeah. And

50:58

then face the intrusive thoughts

51:00

of, well, this is just an imitation of

51:02

the real thing. Right. Right. You

51:05

wouldn't have done well over there. You had to make your own. Right.

51:08

Right. Right. Yeah.

51:10

Bro, that lie, that intrusive thought of those lies

51:12

is real. You still did it. And then you

51:14

went back a second time. Yes, sir. I'm

51:17

grateful you shared. I'm

51:19

so grateful. Like, so

51:22

one of the things that I

51:24

realized again, just because

51:27

I do music, it doesn't mean that

51:29

I should just have

51:31

carte blanche into other areas. For sure. Absolutely.

51:35

I started to realize early on, I was

51:37

like, man, I know that I'm a speaker,

51:40

but people don't know

51:42

that. Right. So when I

51:44

invite myself or offer opportunity to

51:46

go to do something, they're like, well,

51:48

who are you? Why are you doing this? Don't you do music?

51:50

Right. Exactly. So you

51:53

do music. We're not going to do that. Right. I

51:55

had to create my own

51:57

speaking opportunities in order

51:59

to... in order to present to people, this is

52:02

what I do. Now don't get it

52:04

twisted, I've had opportunities to speak because I do music.

52:06

Right, for sure. And that's when people are like, oh

52:08

man, that new song is great. Hey, you wanna talk

52:10

to the youth about this? You wanna talk to the

52:12

young adults? You wanna talk to the singles you want

52:14

to talk to? If the

52:16

song is popping, then they're like, oh, well, we'll let you

52:18

in. Right, for sure. But just off the strength of weight,

52:21

you speak, this is what you do. And

52:23

no one knows my past, they don't know my story.

52:25

So they're just like, we don't know you

52:27

do that. And I've had to create my

52:29

own. So one of the reasons I was here in town, I

52:33

came in town to do some acting work, to

52:35

work on my reel. And then

52:37

I was in town because with a

52:39

friend of mine, I curated this event

52:41

called Anima Nights. And

52:43

it's, Anima is a Latin word that means

52:45

soul or essence. And the whole

52:47

thing was like, I wanna do an event for creatives,

52:49

but also an event where I get to speak. And

52:52

I'm gonna share from stage. And the first thing I did

52:54

when I got up, I stood up and I was like, man,

52:57

I did not know. And it was at

52:59

a spot in Fort Worth called Salt. Salt

53:02

Fort Worth, it's a coworking space. And

53:04

it held like 50, 60 people. And

53:07

I was like, hmm, I'm

53:10

grateful y'all are here. I'm looking

53:12

out in the audience right now, and I didn't know if

53:14

people would show up. The same thing with mine. I'm telling

53:16

them that, I'm like, I didn't know if people would show

53:18

up. I'm glad y'all did show up. I'm

53:21

so happy that you're here. I

53:23

had the same feeling of like, before the game,

53:25

we run on the field and break the banner, we

53:27

all run through the paper. That's how

53:30

I felt on stage. And I'm telling them this, and I'm

53:32

like, I just didn't know if people were gonna show up.

53:34

And I'm so grateful you did. And

53:37

that for me was like confirmation

53:40

of, I

53:43

should be doing this more. That's right. More so

53:45

than, let me wait on someone to do it

53:47

for me. So I'm like, nah, I just gotta

53:49

keep doing it. So you saying what you're saying,

53:51

it really is, it fires me

53:53

up. It encourages me, bro. I'm glad, bro. I'm

53:55

grateful you shared that. Hey, bro. So

53:58

I'm about to double down on it.

54:00

I'm about to put some more down

54:02

payment on this encouragement. So

54:05

I've been a part of a leadership

54:07

cohort for seven years. We

54:11

meet once a month on a Tuesday for eight

54:13

hours. And

54:17

it's been that way for seven years. So

54:19

my life coach Nancy, who

54:22

must have some special relationship with the Holy

54:24

Ghost, I don't know what she do. I

54:26

don't know if she get up at three

54:29

and have tea with

54:31

the fine spirit or what, but bro,

54:33

she's, every

54:35

month she winds up just, it's

54:38

something I'm going through or something that the Holy

54:40

Spirit is preparing me for, something, but

54:43

her whole thing, the whole

54:45

intro was like, God,

54:48

she just started off Genesis one. What's the first thing

54:50

we know about God? He

54:52

created. She said, all

54:55

of you all that are sitting at this table and

54:57

we're put here to create something. That's real world.

54:59

And whatever it

55:01

is that he's called you to create, you

55:05

have to create your arena. You

55:08

have to create your own arena so

55:11

that you can put what he's deposited

55:13

in you on display.

55:19

It's up to you to do that.

55:21

That is nobody. Now I had already

55:24

booked, dude,

55:26

this is a basement of an

55:29

Italian restaurant. Yeah. Yeah. This is

55:31

the, that's

55:33

where I'm performing, in the basement

55:35

of an Italian restaurant. Okay. 11

55:38

minutes from my house in the Denton square. Wow. Graffiti

55:40

pasta. Wow. Okay. You've

55:42

been in that hood. You're right. Oh, I know. You've

55:45

been all around there, right? I know. So I'm sitting up there

55:48

listening to her, confirm

55:51

the faith move I've already enacted.

55:54

And I'm just like, wait a minute, what's going on? Is

55:56

she just sitting there as calm as she is? Yeah. In

55:59

her upper sixties. He's just going,

56:01

yeah guys, you

56:03

gotta create your own arena. You

56:05

cannot wait for somebody. You

56:08

cannot wait for others. If

56:10

this is what God has given you

56:13

to do, you must put your art on display

56:16

and your audience will come to you. But

56:20

you have to create your own arena

56:22

and you have to put on your

56:24

own exhibition and your audience will come

56:26

to you. That's huge. Bro, I said.

56:29

Come on. Say less, man. Right. We

56:31

out here. We outside, I'm going. We out here.

56:34

Yes. And so before, and

56:37

it is very much the

56:39

despise, not the day, right?

56:43

Them 60 people. Come on, bro. Are

56:45

gonna be the people that go, oh,

56:47

y'all, oh, y'all went to

56:49

the 2000. We

56:51

remember. We remember, right?

56:54

We remember salt. We

56:56

remember the basement of graffiti pasta.

56:59

Yeah, y'all just got put on two years later.

57:02

But again, because nothing's overnight, ain't

57:04

nothing started off with Todashi

57:07

speaking and it sold out 3000 people

57:09

at the such and such amphitheater

57:13

and you should have got your tickets two months ago.

57:15

Right? Right. Don't nothing start

57:17

out like that? No, at all, bro, at all.

57:20

And the other side of it is, that

57:23

gift, that's more famous. That's

57:26

my vibe right now. That's my feeling. Internally,

57:29

I'm like that little baby. That's

57:33

how I feel. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yo, shout

57:35

out Nancy. Her name is Nancy. Nancy Houston.

57:38

Yeah, shout out Nancy. Nancy Houston. Nancy Houston,

57:40

come on, bro. Salute, okay. Salute. Like shout

57:42

out Nancy. The

57:46

whole time I'm over here like flesh and blood and

57:48

I revealed this to you, Nancy. It didn't. Man, I

57:51

felt so, who

57:53

are you to start your own

57:56

thing? Yeah, bro. Who are you

57:58

to think you can create a thing? Yeah,

58:00

yeah. My heart has

58:02

always been to collaborate. And

58:08

I'm always gonna think the

58:11

best about a person, because

58:13

I desire relationship. I'm a

58:15

connector, I like relationship. And

58:17

at the end of the day, what I started to learn was the

58:21

longer I wait on another person, the longer

58:23

it won't happen. And

58:26

when I'm mature, I know that

58:28

it's not always malicious, but

58:31

in my immaturity, I'm like, oh, so you just don't

58:33

care. Now I'm dealing with a

58:35

whole different issue because of this other thing

58:37

that I did. When all the while it was on

58:39

me. I chose to wait on you.

58:42

I chose to think that you were gonna do it with

58:44

me or for me. So I just had

58:46

to start doing it on my own. I was like, all right, I

58:48

have to go out here and just

58:51

start creating. So when I decided

58:53

to do that, this event

58:55

came about. And the whole thing

58:57

about Anima Nights is creatives from

58:59

the essence of who they are. And

59:02

at the same time, because of the world we live

59:04

in, every

59:06

creative, because of social media and

59:08

life, has to consider the marketplace.

59:11

How do we do that? And so that's

59:13

the whole point of, it's the intersection of

59:15

creativity and entrepreneurship. Okay, you're about to make

59:17

me, okay. Now

59:20

I'm the baby. Yeah, let's go,

59:22

let's go. So have you, because

59:25

when you're talking about intersectionalities, have

59:28

you read a book called The Medici Effect?

59:30

No, it's on my list. Yeah, I have

59:32

it. I actually have it ordered. Okay, Tadashi,

59:35

I promise you. Just based on

59:37

this convo, when you read that book, you

59:39

are going to spaz. I promise

59:41

you're gonna spaz. That'll be what I pick up when I get home

59:44

then. When I

59:47

feel like I'm supposed to stand at

59:49

the intersectionality of faith and

59:51

culture and do comedy.

59:54

Like that's where I feel like my line is.

59:57

In this season of my life, right? And

1:00:01

so the

1:00:03

intersectionalities in Medici, the book

1:00:05

goes into this in some

1:00:07

beautiful detail, that's

1:00:10

where innovation comes from. It

1:00:12

does not come from the same

1:00:15

trajectory. So one of

1:00:17

the, I'll give you one of the examples that you

1:00:19

will read. The

1:00:23

way that paleontologists,

1:00:26

those that study dinosaurs,

1:00:28

found out about how

1:00:31

dinosaurs went extinct, this

1:00:34

is after they've been doing research and work

1:00:36

studying this for 30 to 50 years.

1:00:40

And they're just thinking, you

1:00:42

know, they probably went extinct because of food

1:00:44

supplies or whatever. It

1:00:47

was an astronomer who

1:00:49

took interest in paleontology that

1:00:52

when he came over and started studying with

1:00:55

these guys, he was hearing their

1:00:57

theories and he's like, that's

1:01:00

not how they went extinct. And they was like,

1:01:02

well, what do you mean? He said,

1:01:04

there was an asteroid that

1:01:07

hit the earth, which

1:01:10

is nuclear, right? It put

1:01:12

up this incredible cloud. It

1:01:14

blocked out the sun, killed all

1:01:16

vegetation. And that's how the

1:01:19

dinosaurs went extinct. And

1:01:21

they was like, oh, bro.

1:01:27

They was like, yeah,

1:01:30

that makes more sense than what we've been

1:01:32

over here talking about. Right.

1:01:35

Makes way more sense. But that was

1:01:37

never going to happen with paleontologists in

1:01:39

the room following their own journey and

1:01:41

following their own journey. They needed an

1:01:43

outside to intersect with them. No,

1:01:46

I agree. And that's where innovation pops

1:01:48

off. That's beautiful. I

1:01:50

can't wait to read that book. I can't wait. The here's

1:01:52

the thing. And this is what it's birth out of for

1:01:54

me. So my

1:01:56

story is riddled with moments

1:01:59

of hardship. A lot of people go through hard things. But

1:02:02

through the loss of so many different people

1:02:04

in my life, stepmom,

1:02:06

sister, my son, my sister

1:02:08

again, another sister, my aunt,

1:02:11

my grandmother, like she's my great aunt,

1:02:13

but she was the only grandmother I

1:02:15

knew. So losing all these people,

1:02:18

excuse me, a year apart from one another, I'm

1:02:23

broken to my core. I don't know

1:02:25

how to function as a person. And

1:02:27

when I finally come to my senses

1:02:29

and sanity, and I'm able to, like

1:02:32

you said, when

1:02:34

we first started talking, when I got here, I

1:02:37

can finally kind of remember the year.

1:02:39

I can kind of finally, once my sanity came

1:02:42

back to me and I felt more grounded and

1:02:44

I could see the world, when

1:02:46

I looked up, every person who I

1:02:48

was doing music with, who was a

1:02:50

friend or was just a label mate or whatever,

1:02:53

everyone had become a brand. They

1:02:56

were no longer an artist, they had become a

1:02:58

brand. It's been 10 years of

1:03:00

my life I've been dealing with this. What's

1:03:02

a brand? Where do I go with this? What do I do?

1:03:05

So the more that I tried to

1:03:08

figure this out, I felt like I was trying

1:03:10

to fly the plane and build it at the

1:03:12

same time. I'm like, man, I'm having to do

1:03:14

everything y'all have already had the time to do,

1:03:17

to catch up. And as I'm

1:03:19

doing this, I feel so out of sorts.

1:03:22

And I'm like, where do I go to talk

1:03:24

to somebody, to help me understand

1:03:26

how to be a better entrepreneur

1:03:28

and business person? Because now, based

1:03:30

on how the world works, they

1:03:33

have put all of the, it's

1:03:35

the beauty of access and it's

1:03:37

the terrifying part. The beauty of

1:03:39

where music is and where creativity

1:03:41

is now, you can, it's all

1:03:43

in your hands. You can go buy us

1:03:45

a $200 rig and make music all day and

1:03:50

put it on streaming services yourself. Absolutely correct.

1:03:52

No more distribution deals needed, all of that.

1:03:55

But the responsibility is all in your hands too. There's

1:03:58

no one else to help you. I

1:04:00

was like, man, the world shifted and it went

1:04:02

from someone else doing that to now it's all

1:04:05

in my hands. And that's cool,

1:04:07

but where do I go to learn how to manage

1:04:09

this now? And there was nowhere to

1:04:12

go. And I just had to keep

1:04:14

learning on the fly, picking up this there, picking

1:04:16

up this here. And what I learned was unless

1:04:18

you have a natural inclination

1:04:20

and aptitude for certain things, you

1:04:23

gotta actually stop what you were doing to go

1:04:26

learn that thing. So Anima

1:04:28

Nights was born out of that idea of

1:04:30

like, hey, where can we put together an

1:04:33

event where we can have intersectionality in that

1:04:35

regard, where people can bring their

1:04:37

true self to this and

1:04:39

still evolve as a person when it comes

1:04:41

to business or come in as a business

1:04:43

person, but wanna be creative and learn how

1:04:46

to be creative to make the two make

1:04:48

sense. You're literally doing Medici. You're

1:04:50

literally doing what the Medicis did. Bro,

1:04:52

and my hope is out of that,

1:04:55

you have people who end up feeling

1:04:57

more secure in what they're doing and

1:04:59

more responsible overall. Like that's the hope,

1:05:02

but bro, that is, I didn't

1:05:05

see it. So I was like, well, I'm gonna do it.

1:05:07

Yeah, for sure. And I'm hoping

1:05:09

that it goes even better, but

1:05:11

it gives me an opportunity to help people in

1:05:13

ways that I wasn't helped, but it gives me a

1:05:16

chance to speak. Yeah, for sure, bro, that's what you

1:05:18

want. Bro, so the first two weeks

1:05:20

I was doing open mics, right? Yeah. Two

1:05:23

weeks, several open mics,

1:05:26

25 minutes total. Five

1:05:31

minutes here, five minutes here, 10 minutes here. Boom,

1:05:33

boom, boom, right? 25 minutes total

1:05:35

in two weeks. The last two weekends,

1:05:38

I've done my own since. Three hours and

1:05:40

50 minutes. That's

1:05:42

real, that's real. And the other things are

1:05:45

still available to you. If you

1:05:47

so desire them, but what you're

1:05:49

getting by building your own, you would never

1:05:51

get from them. I would never get from

1:05:53

them. They would never let me have it.

1:05:55

They want it real. They gonna have it

1:05:57

next year. And it's too late. The

1:06:01

funny thing is when what

1:06:03

you're doing pops and blows, then

1:06:07

they're gonna be like, you want two hours? And

1:06:10

it's like, I don't need your two hours. I don't need your two hours.

1:06:12

I don't need it. So that's kind of,

1:06:14

and one thing we talked

1:06:16

about at our event Friday, I was

1:06:18

like, man, it's never the person who

1:06:20

follows the flow that changes the world.

1:06:25

It's only the people who break outside

1:06:27

of the flow that change the world.

1:06:30

Whether you look at music,

1:06:33

fashion, politics, civil

1:06:35

rights movement, like you don't

1:06:37

see anyone changing the world going

1:06:40

with the flow, making an

1:06:42

impact going with the flow. And

1:06:44

going with the flow, unfortunately,

1:06:47

from a Christian context

1:06:50

is what people define your

1:06:52

Christianity by. It's true. Man, if you

1:06:54

keep going with the flow, then clearly

1:06:56

you line up with everything we agree

1:06:58

with. You are safe, you are good,

1:07:00

you're acceptable. But wait, now you're

1:07:02

not going with the flow. Is everything okay?

1:07:04

You must be off. Okay, we concerned.

1:07:07

We don't know what you're doing. We don't know why

1:07:09

you're over there doing that. Oh, I live there. I

1:07:11

know. Oh, I know. I know. That's

1:07:13

my address. Right, right. That's

1:07:16

literally my resident address. So

1:07:19

as I lean into like, I'm not going with the

1:07:21

flow anymore. Going with the flow would be like, all

1:07:24

right, man, there's two things that I think about, going

1:07:26

with the flow. All right, well, I'm just gonna keep

1:07:28

making wraps as long as a

1:07:30

certain way. Or, well, I've been doing this long enough

1:07:32

now, going with the flow is doing what other people

1:07:34

are doing and finding another career, because rap, I've done

1:07:36

it too long. And I'm like, well, I'm not gonna

1:07:38

do either one of those. I'm gonna

1:07:40

be here until I kick myself out. Right, right,

1:07:43

right, right, right. I'm gonna do something different while

1:07:45

I'm doing music and break away

1:07:47

from that pattern and not go with

1:07:49

the flow. Because I recognize that's where

1:07:51

impact is gonna come from. No

1:07:53

one changes the world staying the same. Or

1:07:57

staying like everybody else. No one.

1:08:00

You can't name one person who was like, well, I

1:08:02

just did what everybody else did and I changed the

1:08:05

world. No. That's

1:08:09

just, that's said no one in the history

1:08:11

of world change. Ever, ever bro. And

1:08:14

so, and we, we, we

1:08:17

esteem these people. We herald them.

1:08:19

Yeah. But

1:08:22

we don't ever take note and follow

1:08:24

that trend. Yeah, absolutely. Mandela was not

1:08:26

the norm. No, he was not. He

1:08:28

was not going with the flow at

1:08:30

all. Absolutely. And changed

1:08:33

the world. Yeah. I mean, there

1:08:35

are just people you name. If their name is

1:08:37

big to you, when you name them, you're like, oh yeah,

1:08:39

they were doing something different. That's exactly right. They just, they

1:08:41

just went against the grain. Yeah. They did

1:08:43

something different. I don't care what anybody says. And,

1:08:46

and I'm, I'm a fan solely because

1:08:48

of this, but when you,

1:08:50

when I think of people that changed the

1:08:52

game in music, one of the first

1:08:54

names that come to my mind is T-Pain. And

1:08:56

I'm like, people can hate on auto-tune. Yeah,

1:08:59

for sure. But, but music shifted because of

1:09:01

this man. The texture of the, of the

1:09:04

whole musical genre. Shifted because of this man.

1:09:06

It will never be the same. Yeah. Now,

1:09:09

one day it may go back to something different,

1:09:11

but it will never be the same. It was

1:09:13

a game changer. Went against the grain. And

1:09:16

even when Jay-Z was like, we done with

1:09:18

this, it's still here. It

1:09:20

is. It's. He

1:09:22

did try to pronounce a eulogy on it with Death

1:09:24

to Bottle tune. He did, bro. And it didn't work.

1:09:26

And it did not work. Lil Wayne came back out

1:09:28

the next album. Like, we're. Exactly,

1:09:31

bro. And

1:09:33

then what happened was, as soon as he

1:09:35

pronounced it dead, Future dropped and it was

1:09:37

like, no, we like this. Yeah. We

1:09:40

love this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Call it what you

1:09:42

want. Yeah, we here. You do you. It's dead

1:09:44

for New York then. It ain't dead for us.

1:09:46

Hey, so I gotta, I gotta tell you something

1:09:48

that, like you saying this makes, makes

1:09:50

me think about a

1:09:53

conversation the Holy Spirit had

1:09:56

with me. He initiated the conversation and

1:09:58

it literally. It

1:10:02

changed me. So here's what happened. So

1:10:04

obviously I grew up on comedy

1:10:06

and I

1:10:09

was sexually abused at eight and comedy was

1:10:11

the first, the

1:10:14

humor was my first coping mechanism.

1:10:17

Right? And I

1:10:19

could literally just find the funny

1:10:25

in dark situations and that just

1:10:27

helped me not be like

1:10:30

a crazy man. You know what I'm saying?

1:10:32

Yes. Yeah. So

1:10:35

I, was

1:10:37

you feeling something when I said that? Man,

1:10:39

yes. Oh my Lord, bro. You

1:10:41

just, literally I had this epiphany

1:10:43

and the next thought was like, I can't wait

1:10:45

to talk to my therapist now. Like I can't

1:10:47

wait to tell Jennifer about this. Wow. I

1:10:50

want to hear your story. Yeah, for sure. I

1:10:53

was molested when I was nine. Okay, eight for me. And

1:10:57

that was around the

1:10:59

same time that I started really

1:11:01

engaging music on my own. Music

1:11:03

was my safe haven. It

1:11:06

was the thing

1:11:08

I had when I had nothing else. And

1:11:12

everyone was expressing emotions that

1:11:14

I could identify with. And their emotions would

1:11:17

take me on journeys away from what I

1:11:19

was dealing with. Yeah, for sure. Eventually

1:11:21

TV would do that too. But

1:11:23

music was the thing. And you just hit for

1:11:25

me like, why was music such a big deal

1:11:27

for me? And my mom used

1:11:30

to sing blues. Like it was a lot going

1:11:32

on musically around me. But

1:11:34

for me as in my own identity, you're

1:11:36

right. Like it wasn't comedy for me, it

1:11:38

was music. It was as soon

1:11:40

as I could hear a certain

1:11:43

sound, a certain flow, a certain

1:11:46

singer doing certain words and

1:11:48

runs and I was like,

1:11:50

yo, this is where I want to be. And so

1:11:53

hours upon hours, just eyes closed,

1:11:55

laying down with my head next

1:11:57

to the speaker. And just...

1:12:00

not being where I was. I'm away. I'm

1:12:03

finally free. Like Forrest

1:12:06

Gump, the movie, when Jenny would pray, like, you

1:12:08

did God make me a bird. It's like a

1:12:10

fly fall. I'm like, yo man,

1:12:12

I am flying far away

1:12:14

right now when I listen to this

1:12:17

music. I am no longer, and it didn't matter

1:12:19

what kind of music. That's the interesting

1:12:21

thing for me. It was like, one day it

1:12:23

is listening to my mama's

1:12:25

blues music, another day it is R&B,

1:12:28

another day it is listening to

1:12:31

Leonard Skinner. Yeah, yeah, for sure, for sure.

1:12:33

I'm like, man, I am not gonna be

1:12:36

here today. I'm going somewhere else. And

1:12:38

I always wanted to get away, and music

1:12:40

did that for me. So thank you for saying

1:12:42

that. No, that's beautiful, bro. That's

1:12:44

beautiful. I

1:12:47

started rapping when I was nine. My

1:12:50

older brother's 10 years older than me, so

1:12:52

my influence was East Coast, because that's all

1:12:54

that was out, right? He was born in

1:12:56

65, I was born in 75. And

1:12:59

so all I grew up on, the

1:13:03

first songs that permeated my body

1:13:05

and my ears and my mind

1:13:08

were all East Coast. It was

1:13:10

Curtis Blow, it was African Bombata,

1:13:13

it was Sugarhill Gang, it

1:13:15

was Meli Mel, it was

1:13:18

Slick Rick, it was all of them. By

1:13:20

the time West Coast came out, obviously

1:13:23

I'm from the West Coast, it was

1:13:25

like, all right, NWA is here. But

1:13:27

it was like, nigga, it's EPMD online.

1:13:29

You know what I mean? You

1:13:32

gots to chill more than I was after police.

1:13:34

You know what I'm saying? But to be fair

1:13:36

to you, a lot of

1:13:38

them early West Coast niggas was doing East

1:13:40

Coast runs. That's exactly right. Over West Coast

1:13:43

beats. That's right, that's right, absolutely correct. It's

1:13:45

just what it was. Yeah, exactly, exactly. But

1:13:50

humor, humor

1:13:52

kept me positive. Or

1:13:56

else I think I just would have been a dark soul. Humor

1:13:59

just kept me positive. me so like

1:14:01

uplifted because I could smile about stuff

1:14:03

and I would I could laugh about

1:14:06

stuff that was really sad. You know

1:14:08

what I mean? Including my own stuff,

1:14:10

right? So I become the cast clown

1:14:12

the whole nine boom boom. Alright, so

1:14:14

so um so

1:14:16

then obviously I grew I grew up on the

1:14:19

Cosby show. Yeah, I grew up listening to Bill

1:14:21

Cosby was the cleanest comedian that

1:14:23

you could listen to. You know what I'm saying? We

1:14:25

got to watch him growing up and watch his stand

1:14:27

up or his sit downs right. Right, his sit downs.

1:14:30

And um and prior was always like

1:14:32

the anti Cosby. Anti. You know and

1:14:34

so it's like you can never listen

1:14:36

to Cosby prior until you're 30. Right,

1:14:38

you know what I mean? So so

1:14:41

so I grew

1:14:43

up conditioned like Mount

1:14:45

Rushmore. I always said

1:14:47

which is is not even for to me

1:14:51

I had Cosby as my

1:14:53

goat 1A, Chappelle 1B and then prior.

1:14:55

Yeah. And it was kind of like

1:14:57

just the way I was because

1:15:00

of how I grew up. Right, say it that way. Bro,

1:15:04

this is all happened in the last 10 days. Yeah. This

1:15:06

is how recent this is. Okay. Okay. I'm

1:15:08

gonna tell you how recent it is. Yeah. We were

1:15:10

at uh our

1:15:13

employee thing that little staff

1:15:15

thing we did. That's when the Holy

1:15:17

Spirit spoke to me. Was that last week? Or

1:15:20

a week and a half ago? So not

1:15:23

this past Thursday but this past Thursday. And so

1:15:25

we were within 10 days. Okay. We're within 10

1:15:28

days. Alright so what happened was. Yeah yeah yeah.

1:15:31

I'm minding my own business. Right. We I'm

1:15:33

we trying to I'm CEO and we trying

1:15:35

to do the thing so we can get

1:15:37

the company organized and figure out how we

1:15:39

gonna close the fourth quarter so we can

1:15:41

go into 2025. Right. And

1:15:43

the Holy Spirit says three words to me. Look

1:15:46

to prior. And

1:15:49

I said and this

1:15:51

is the day before my first show. It's

1:15:53

the day before my first show. He said

1:15:56

look to prior. I

1:15:58

had to write it down. I'm like. I'm supposed to

1:16:01

look to Pryor, right? So I can't wait

1:16:03

for the day to be over so I

1:16:05

can figure out what he talking about. So

1:16:07

I had a dinner that night

1:16:09

after our meeting was over and it was

1:16:12

like, by the time we ended to the

1:16:14

time the dinner hit was like four hours.

1:16:17

So I'm in my car just watching

1:16:20

Pryor. I

1:16:22

download Live at the Sunset

1:16:24

Strip, which is the show he

1:16:26

did after he got, set himself on fire. And

1:16:29

then after that, the only thing I watched was

1:16:31

interviews because I'm

1:16:33

49 and he

1:16:36

burned himself in his 40s. And

1:16:38

so you got to hear the reflection

1:16:40

of who he was after. Cause after

1:16:42

that, he eventually got

1:16:45

off cocaine. He got off

1:16:49

alcohol. He was sober and was

1:16:51

much more reflective. And

1:16:53

now there was no drugs

1:16:57

or no alcohol clapping and

1:16:59

shouting his genius. You know

1:17:01

what I'm saying? Or warping it in a

1:17:03

sense. So I'm listening to him. And

1:17:06

then the Holy Spirit said to me, he

1:17:09

said, Richard Pryor

1:17:11

died with the truth. Cosby is still

1:17:14

living with lies. Oh

1:17:16

my goodness. Oh

1:17:18

my goodness. And

1:17:21

then he said, you are much more Pryor

1:17:23

than you will ever be Cosby. Wow, bro.

1:17:26

Because that man was vulnerable. He was vulnerable.

1:17:30

Yeah man, brokenness will lead you there.

1:17:32

Right? And so literally

1:17:35

between that Thursday and that Friday

1:17:37

night I knew like

1:17:41

my assignment is, cause

1:17:45

this is all we do on this show

1:17:47

is like we're just vulnerable, right? Like we

1:17:49

try to make, we try to normalize vulnerability.

1:17:51

But in my comedy, it became, which

1:17:54

I think I was there intrinsically, but I

1:17:57

wasn't there consciously, right? I didn't have a

1:17:59

conscious competence. It was like, yeah, you can't

1:18:01

do nothing unless

1:18:03

you've personally felt it. You can't do

1:18:06

no material unless you've personally been affected

1:18:08

by this. Because that's just

1:18:10

not how you're not a joke teller. You're

1:18:12

a storyteller. And you got to have it

1:18:14

this way. And bro, the

1:18:19

difference it made between... Now,

1:18:22

my first set was a tribute to

1:18:25

my dad. And so all those stories

1:18:27

were... They were bomb. But last week's

1:18:29

set, I had... And

1:18:31

I had never done this before. The other...

1:18:34

I only have four stories. I did... I

1:18:37

must've did an hour 50 with four stories. Wow.

1:18:41

Okay. But

1:18:44

one of my stories was about

1:18:46

bedwetting. Word? Because

1:18:48

my trauma, my

1:18:50

sexual trauma, again, what

1:18:52

doesn't come up in your mouth through words

1:18:55

comes up in your body through actions. Bedwetting

1:18:57

was chronic for me growing

1:18:59

up from eight to probably 15. And

1:19:02

I put that in the actual...

1:19:05

That was in my set list.

1:19:07

That's huge. And it went crazy.

1:19:10

For real. Like people at first was like...

1:19:14

People at first was like, the hell? Like,

1:19:16

what are you talking about? But...

1:19:19

And then here's the most beautiful part of it was

1:19:22

when I first... Because there was no easy

1:19:24

way to get into it. And

1:19:27

so I just turned the corner and gave everybody

1:19:29

whiplash. I was like, anybody pee in the bed

1:19:31

growing up beside me? And everybody was

1:19:33

like, what the... What? Wait, what

1:19:35

is he talking about? Hey. Is that

1:19:37

what we doing? And there was this girl, I

1:19:40

locked eyes with this girl, and this girl was like this,

1:19:43

looking at me. And I

1:19:45

was like, anybody beside me? And she was just like

1:19:47

this, and then she just was like... She

1:19:51

raised her hand. Bro, only me

1:19:53

and... Obviously I had my hand

1:19:55

raised. She's only the person raising her hand. I

1:19:57

said, hey, red shirt, thank you for not leaving me out here like

1:19:59

that. Right. So I'm like four and

1:20:01

a half minutes into this story about the pressure, the

1:20:03

anxiety of wetting the bed. And I was

1:20:06

like, the only way I could probably describe it to people

1:20:08

who haven't wet the bed is like, when you butt down

1:20:10

somebody, and you look down at your phone

1:20:12

and it's been going for four minutes and 35 seconds. And

1:20:15

you like, what have they heard? Like, you

1:20:18

know what I'm saying? And depending on who

1:20:20

it is, you like, what?

1:20:23

And you like, hello, hello, are they listening

1:20:25

live? Okay, not, if they not, this isn't

1:20:27

a voicemail. What have I said in

1:20:29

the last, there's just an anxiety that hits you, right?

1:20:31

Very much so. Right? So

1:20:34

I'm like, this is how I felt when I woke

1:20:36

up. I'm like, who, when did this happen? How come

1:20:38

nobody told me, right? All this. Then

1:20:40

I was like, wait a minute, the stats tell me that

1:20:43

at least one in four people have had some

1:20:45

type of traumatic thing happen to them growing up.

1:20:47

How the hell me and her just raised her

1:20:49

hands? I said, y'all niggas lying. And

1:20:52

the whole place bust out laughing. I said, y'all

1:20:54

know y'all lying. They lying. You was gonna leave

1:20:56

us out here like this. So

1:20:58

I redo the poll. Yeah. Over

1:21:02

70% of the people raised their hands. Unbelievable. No,

1:21:04

very believable actually. Right, right, right. But that's wild.

1:21:06

I was like, y'all niggas just gonna leave me

1:21:08

out here. Yo man. Y'all was gonna make it

1:21:11

sound like me and her the only people peeing

1:21:13

in the bed. I

1:21:15

said post diapers. Post diapers.

1:21:19

How many of y'all have left

1:21:22

something off in that bed? Like, you know

1:21:24

what I'm saying? Like, stop playing with me.

1:21:26

I didn't ask how long you did it,

1:21:28

how frequent it was. But it was like

1:21:30

that level of vulnerability has to show up

1:21:32

in my set. That's beautiful. Or else I

1:21:34

can't do it. That's

1:21:37

good, bro. Yeah, bro. That's good, bro.

1:21:39

Yeah, you said you were doubling down. That's

1:21:42

very much so a double down. Yes, sir.

1:21:44

Yes, sir. It resonates with my

1:21:46

soul so much, man. I can't... It's

1:21:51

the reason I didn't go into hip hop and

1:21:54

rap about Jesus, but was talking about

1:21:56

fighting drugs or anything else. Right.

1:21:59

I'm like, I real recognize... I was real, like

1:22:01

I didn't grow up in the suburbs and

1:22:03

I grew up around some crazy situations,

1:22:06

but I wasn't selling dope. So

1:22:08

why would I talk about that? Exactly. And

1:22:11

the same is true now. I've gone through

1:22:13

so much. It's what I

1:22:16

need to talk about. I have to.

1:22:18

And the number of people who

1:22:20

come up to me now because I was vulnerable

1:22:23

about the things I've gone through, they

1:22:26

haven't even been through the same

1:22:28

situation. But because vulnerability is present, it

1:22:31

invites them to be vulnerable. And

1:22:33

now they're like, oh, well, man,

1:22:37

I haven't lost a child, but man,

1:22:39

my mom just passed. And I just,

1:22:42

I don't know who to talk to. I don't know what to do about that.

1:22:45

And it made me realize, I'm

1:22:48

not gonna do this just because it's cathartic

1:22:50

for me, but I'm gonna be

1:22:52

vulnerable because no one really has spaces to

1:22:54

be vulnerable. This is

1:22:56

all we try to do. That's beautiful, bro. I

1:22:59

commend you. That's beautiful. And I mean, I

1:23:01

guarantee it was some people in that room who

1:23:03

didn't raise their hand because they went to bed

1:23:05

as adults, not as children. Absolutely. It's

1:23:08

like, I'm ashamed because he's calling me out on

1:23:10

something like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I did last

1:23:12

year. I was so embarrassed. As opposed to me

1:23:14

inviting them into the safety of,

1:23:17

isn't this like the

1:23:19

betrayal of your bladder? Like

1:23:22

let you down. Yeah, you know what I'm saying? It's

1:23:24

there you. That's what I was on. I

1:23:27

was on the stress of, like

1:23:30

there's no way a nine, 10, 11 year old

1:23:32

can be like, oh, the reason why this is

1:23:34

happening is because I had trauma stored in my

1:23:36

body and I haven't put the proper words to

1:23:38

it so that I could be released and my

1:23:40

brain could start healing. There's no way a nine

1:23:42

year old knows this. At all. But

1:23:44

yet you being told you cannot

1:23:47

drink water after six or

1:23:50

you getting whooped. Getting a whooped, I was just about

1:23:52

to say, are you getting a whooping? Yeah, so I

1:23:54

told him, I say, when I used to get whoopers,

1:23:56

I used to tell my dad aim at the bladder.

1:23:58

Yeah. to. Please

1:24:02

hit this nigga for me because you ain't

1:24:04

the only one man. I keep eating his beer. Punish

1:24:08

the bladder. My buddy do

1:24:10

not exactly hit the bladder, bro.

1:24:13

Make sure all of your will

1:24:15

wind up right here on the

1:24:17

bladder. Yeah, bro. So

1:24:19

that's that's vulnerability

1:24:21

is is when you

1:24:23

will you create that safety. Other people

1:24:25

can create theirs very much.

1:24:28

Yeah, they they they and to your point,

1:24:30

it ain't gotta be the same thing. You

1:24:33

sharing yours makes them reflect on whatever

1:24:35

loss means today. Exactly. And then they

1:24:37

dive into that. So that's a beautiful

1:24:40

thing. I commend you, bro. Thank

1:24:42

you, man. You, you open

1:24:44

the door for them later

1:24:47

to have conversations. That's right that they're, they're

1:24:49

definitely gonna have. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's

1:24:51

gonna be about the funny, but it's also

1:24:53

going to be about the story

1:24:55

in that that brought about the funny. That's right.

1:24:57

And they're going to be able to share that.

1:24:59

Yeah, in a real way. And other people are

1:25:02

going to hear it. Yeah, just vulnerability,

1:25:04

but gets more vulnerable. It does. It does,

1:25:06

bro. Hey, so I did I did a

1:25:08

thing with so bro. Um, I

1:25:10

did a thing at because

1:25:14

the first thing I did. So I'm in LA when the Lord

1:25:16

tells me to start doing comedy. Yeah, I didn't know we were

1:25:18

gonna be talking about this. But the

1:25:23

sort of first thing I do is go

1:25:25

to the comedy. So I spend the next

1:25:27

two days, nine and a half hours between

1:25:30

a laugh factory was

1:25:33

a laugh factory. Yeah, between the improv and laugh factory.

1:25:35

Yeah, spent nine and a half hours over two days

1:25:37

in those two. Wow, just to kind of like go

1:25:40

back in there and be like, what are you doing

1:25:42

in here? Like, what's the vibe? Because I'm an introvert.

1:25:44

I'm, I'm a homebody. I'm never

1:25:46

nowhere. So I'm just like, what y'all doing? So

1:25:49

I get in there. And

1:25:51

there was very few comics

1:25:54

that had material. A

1:25:56

lot of them was just doing crowd work. And

1:25:59

and it it seemed to be disproportionate to me.

1:26:01

It would be like maybe 70% crowd work, 30%

1:26:03

material. And

1:26:06

I'm like, man, they doing a lot of playing off

1:26:08

the crowd. And I didn't grow up. That's not how

1:26:10

I grew up when I was doing comedy. I'm like,

1:26:12

you came with material. And only time

1:26:14

you lasered in on somebody in the crowd is

1:26:16

if they was heckling or being a distraction or

1:26:18

they were just, something was

1:26:20

so profound, you had to address it, right?

1:26:24

So I'm like, I'm

1:26:26

coming back into this, I'm

1:26:29

an empath. I could never pick on

1:26:31

nobody. Like that's never gonna be a set. I

1:26:33

could never be like, what you doing here? How

1:26:36

you doing? Your hair look crazy. Girl,

1:26:38

you know what I mean? I could, it

1:26:41

cringes me to even think. Same. So

1:26:43

I'm like, how am I gonna work that

1:26:45

in? So I decided that I was just

1:26:47

gonna ask if anybody had any questions. Like

1:26:51

I was just gonna do a Q and A at the end. And

1:26:53

if there was something funny that could come from it, bro,

1:26:56

I did that the last two weeks. Some

1:27:01

of them wrote new material for

1:27:03

me. Just in the, they asked

1:27:05

a genuine question. I was

1:27:07

able to answer the question, but then get funny out

1:27:09

of it and then be like, oh, that's gonna go

1:27:11

with that. So the next time I do this, I'm

1:27:14

bringing up that. But like, so

1:27:16

people volunteer to get in, right? Cause

1:27:18

they're raising their hands. But then even

1:27:20

if- You're not targeting them. Exactly. Yeah,

1:27:22

you free from that. Even

1:27:25

if we laughing about something,

1:27:27

it's not at your expense. We're

1:27:30

laughing together. We're laughing together at

1:27:32

the thing and not you. Right,

1:27:35

right. So I ended Friday set

1:27:37

with, on teaching

1:27:39

my friends about white privilege. My

1:27:42

white friends, I teach my white friends about white privilege.

1:27:45

And then afterwards, man, this

1:27:48

couple was there and

1:27:50

this lady was asking questions like, yo, she

1:27:52

really wanted to, as a white woman, how

1:27:56

do I really

1:27:58

affect change? with

1:28:01

other white people. Like this girl wanted

1:28:03

to know. And

1:28:06

her, her, all her questions was so

1:28:09

specific. Like what if you've already had

1:28:11

the conversation, but they did, they still

1:28:13

disagree with you. I

1:28:15

mean, she was trying to get to the bottom

1:28:17

of it. And bro, it was like, oh, this

1:28:19

is life to me. Yeah. Because

1:28:22

at the intersection that I stand on, I want people

1:28:25

to laugh and think so that they can

1:28:27

think to laugh. Come on, man. That's

1:28:30

my, that's my little sequence.

1:28:32

I want you to laugh and think so

1:28:34

you can think to laugh instead of like, I

1:28:36

look at what is controversial now and I'd

1:28:39

be like, man, ain't that humorous? Right. Cause

1:28:41

I can see the incongruity. I can see

1:28:43

the hypocrisy. I can see the dysregulation. Very

1:28:45

much so. You know what I mean?

1:28:47

So it's like, and you know this, but once you start doing therapy,

1:28:52

Caroline Leaf, Dr. Caroline Leaf said it best. You

1:28:55

start therapy for you and you stay in

1:28:57

it for everybody else. For everybody else. You

1:29:00

know what I'm saying? And so I look at

1:29:02

everybody else and I'd be like, oh, you only

1:29:04

spazzing out cause you're dysregulated. You

1:29:06

don't know what to do with that trigger. Therapy

1:29:08

has helped me to understand more people better as

1:29:10

well as be more understanding of them. Like,

1:29:13

oh, okay, I get you. And I'm

1:29:15

also patient with you. Yes. So

1:29:17

here's my quintessential on that. Jesus on the

1:29:19

cross. Bodies

1:29:22

excruciatingly broken, bloody,

1:29:24

bruised, battered. And

1:29:31

he's still regulated to the point that

1:29:33

he could say, father, forgive them for they know not what they did.

1:29:35

Right. Very much so. Yeah,

1:29:39

bro. That's the

1:29:42

Prince of Peace. That is the Prince of

1:29:44

Peace. Right there. In that moment.

1:29:46

In that moment. In that moment.

1:29:48

You are the Prince of

1:29:51

Peace. And that's the regulation I'm

1:29:54

going for. Exactly. That's beautiful. Yes

1:29:57

and amen to that. Yeah. That's so

1:29:59

good. Yeah. You

1:34:00

know what I'm saying? It's like, I just want to hear

1:34:02

what you got to say. And if

1:34:04

you're not being genuine, that's not my-

1:34:07

That's not on you. That's not

1:34:09

on me. You're not the genuine

1:34:11

police. No, no. If the story's

1:34:13

incongruent, we learned something too. We

1:34:16

will see. We learned. But to

1:34:18

be sitting up here like, man, you was supposed to

1:34:20

ask them about this and you should have asked about

1:34:22

that person's sexuality. One person said, you should have asked

1:34:24

about that person's sexuality. I said, okay, you definitely don't

1:34:26

know what I do on my- You know what I

1:34:29

mean? There's no configuration.

1:34:31

At all. Whereas

1:34:33

that would ever be a topic

1:34:35

I would broach. That's crazy.

1:34:38

Yeah, man. There's a, some

1:34:41

people need to categorize others in

1:34:43

order for themselves to understand the

1:34:45

world. They gotta

1:34:47

keep putting you in places to

1:34:49

categorize you so you fit their idea of

1:34:52

the world. And their idea of

1:34:54

the world is the only way they know to feel safe in the

1:34:56

world. So they go, I need it. I

1:34:58

gotta categorize you. So you need to make

1:35:01

sure you're clear on what they are. Cause

1:35:03

now that you didn't make sure that that

1:35:05

was clear, now I don't know how to

1:35:07

categorize you, brother Tim. I

1:35:09

don't know how to categorize you brother. So now

1:35:12

you're messing with, I enjoy you, but now you

1:35:14

didn't do that. Now I don't know if I

1:35:16

can enjoy you as much cause you didn't, I

1:35:18

don't know how to categorize you now. Cause you

1:35:20

didn't do what I assumed you would do based

1:35:22

on how I had already placed you. So

1:35:25

now I'm struggling with it. Hey

1:35:27

bro, you just broke open the

1:35:30

Pandora's box for me. Yeah,

1:35:32

bro. As it relates to how

1:35:36

the public is trying

1:35:38

to reconcile anybody

1:35:40

that attended a Diddy party. That's it.

1:35:43

That's exactly it. That's what they're

1:35:45

doing. I didn't know that that was how you

1:35:47

were. I don't know how to categorize you. And

1:35:51

there are so many things

1:35:53

informing how they're supposed

1:35:55

to be in their own

1:35:57

mindset and world. So they don't. I don't

1:35:59

know how to reconcile it, it's weird. And

1:36:01

then here's the reality, bro. You

1:36:07

can't, thinking critically, you

1:36:10

can't logically think and

1:36:12

believe, and this is

1:36:15

not in defense of anything, but

1:36:17

behaviors that were wrong. But

1:36:20

you can't believe every party was a free

1:36:22

call. It can't be. That's

1:36:25

not how life works. No, it's not

1:36:27

how life works. And honestly, when it

1:36:29

does turn to that moment, every

1:36:32

person who's ever kind of alluded to an idea

1:36:34

of being a part of it always

1:36:36

said, well, you know, after everybody kind of

1:36:38

moves around, then we turn to it. After

1:36:43

the club, there's an after party, and after

1:36:45

the party, there's a hotel lobby, and after

1:36:47

the lobby, then there's probably, you know what

1:36:50

I'm saying? Yes, yes.

1:36:52

There is this narrative that we

1:36:54

create out of judgment that

1:36:57

the entirety of a

1:36:59

situation was just the bad. And I'm like, no,

1:37:01

there were moments where it's like, oh yeah, we

1:37:03

did a white party, and all

1:37:05

we did was mingle, network, talk, gang. And I say,

1:37:08

we, I was never at any of these. But I'm

1:37:10

like, you know what I'm saying? But

1:37:12

that's the thing, it's like, that's all that happened. And

1:37:15

at some point you go, but because

1:37:17

of the bad being the thing that

1:37:19

is prominent right now, you tend to

1:37:22

want to label everything as a part

1:37:24

of the bad. Because that's more convenient

1:37:26

for my brain. It's easier to do.

1:37:28

I don't have to hold attention that

1:37:31

way. And because, in my opinion, tabloid

1:37:34

media only found more strength in

1:37:36

the social media age. So

1:37:38

we enjoy tabloid news.

1:37:40

That's insightful. We

1:37:43

really enjoy tabloid news. If

1:37:46

I can find a way to find the

1:37:48

dirt, if I can get behind what's really

1:37:50

happening, now I know I'm in the know.

1:37:53

And in reality, you're like, even

1:37:55

this person who we

1:37:58

saw on video, Longfully

1:38:00

abusing a young woman is

1:38:02

still a nuanced individual dynamic in

1:38:05

his humanity. Not every

1:38:07

moment was like this. Every moment

1:38:09

was this way. Now you

1:38:12

can say these moments were so

1:38:14

egregious and so wrong that this

1:38:16

gives me a reason

1:38:19

to say their character is this way fully.

1:38:23

Maybe I can do that. I can

1:38:25

go with that. But to say the

1:38:27

actions and activity of every individual at

1:38:29

every moment when these things happen was

1:38:32

this, it's not critical thinking. No, it's

1:38:34

not. It's not sound judgment. Absolutely. It's

1:38:36

tabloid media. That's exactly right. It's sensationalism.

1:38:38

It's sensationalism. And you find yourself now

1:38:40

having a conversation with a sensationalist who

1:38:42

says, no, it's always this way. And

1:38:44

it's like, well, then you've already decided.

1:38:47

Absolutely correct. And there's

1:38:49

no conversation we can have with you. And

1:38:51

now that you've decided, now you're judging the

1:38:53

world through that lens. So

1:38:56

when we say, yeah, I just don't feel

1:38:58

like I need to bring up whether or

1:39:00

not they were at a ditty party. Yeah.

1:39:02

Well, then I don't know how to categorize you either. Exactly.

1:39:05

Because you might be a part of the problem. Right. Exactly.

1:39:08

And then here's where critical thinking

1:39:11

comes in the most. When

1:39:15

you get to the point to say, why

1:39:17

does this really matter to your life? What

1:39:20

does him asking that question do for your

1:39:22

life? For the good

1:39:24

of your life. What does it do for

1:39:26

you? Yeah. And you realize they've

1:39:29

really just bought into an idea of

1:39:31

something that they think

1:39:33

is important because of whatever

1:39:36

end result they're looking for.

1:39:39

For sure. There's no real reason for any

1:39:41

of that. Every person who's ever

1:39:43

had a concern for me, at

1:39:45

some point when I realize you

1:39:48

want to correct or control based

1:39:50

on your narrative of me, you

1:39:52

ain't took one moment to go

1:39:55

to my creator and say, oh,

1:39:57

can you help him? Can you fix him? You

1:40:00

ain't took one moment to go to

1:40:02

the elders at my church, the friends

1:40:05

in my life, and say, hey, I'm

1:40:07

concerned about him. What you did was

1:40:09

jump in the comments. What

1:40:11

you did was come at me sideways

1:40:13

in a response video and

1:40:15

say, here's what I think should happen for

1:40:18

whose benefit. For whose benefit. Even if you

1:40:20

think you're helping other people protecting them from

1:40:22

the big bad, whatever you think I or

1:40:24

anyone is, you still only

1:40:26

do it out of the

1:40:28

benefit of what you feel is important. And

1:40:31

when it's all said and done, the

1:40:34

only way what you want comes

1:40:37

about is through affecting change.

1:40:40

You're not, those avenues and outlets don't affect

1:40:42

change. Absolutely correct. At all. I'll

1:40:45

never forget when

1:40:47

Preachers of LA came out and

1:40:50

how much of a hot mess that show

1:40:53

was, right? For real. And somebody, I

1:40:55

was, I think I had been pastoring

1:40:59

a couple of years when it

1:41:01

was out or whatever, because I had planned at the church

1:41:03

in 2015. So then some people

1:41:05

was like, man, what do you

1:41:07

think about Preachers of LA? Hi,

1:41:10

baby. Hold on real quick. You

1:41:12

good, bro. Hey, dude, I haven't seen you all day. How

1:41:15

did you get in there? Did you walk past here? You

1:41:18

went down and then came up. Come here. I

1:41:22

love that. He's like, nah,

1:41:24

I don't want to interrupt. You

1:41:30

feel good? Mm-hmm. Okay,

1:41:36

so they had

1:41:38

a- Preachers

1:41:43

of LA. Yeah, Preachers of LA. And so somebody

1:41:45

was like, oh my God, like that

1:41:47

show is terrible and it should go off and

1:41:49

all that kind of stuff. I said, I hope

1:41:51

it gets 10 seasons. Right, right. They

1:41:54

was like, what? I

1:41:57

said, yeah, I hope it gets 10 seasons 20s,

1:44:00

50s, and 100s. Four

1:44:04

months. And

1:44:08

they telling them over four months, spot

1:44:11

the counterfeit. They don't

1:44:13

even introduce a counterfeit for

1:44:16

weeks or months. They

1:44:19

just leave them with the real. Then

1:44:21

they throw one counterfeit in. Choke us.

1:44:34

Yeah. There

1:44:40

it is. This off? Yeah.

1:44:42

Well, what about it is off? Well, the weight

1:44:44

is the same, the color is the same, the texture,

1:44:47

but some about it is just off.

1:44:51

Why are they able to recognize that? They

1:44:54

just spent all their time with

1:44:56

the truth. That's it. So

1:44:59

easy to see the counterfeit when you do that. So

1:45:02

easy. So I've been telling these

1:45:05

people when they come to these Diddy's things about everybody

1:45:07

ain't complicit with Diddy or

1:45:10

doing what Diddy did, because

1:45:13

a lot of these convocations and conventions

1:45:16

that y'all was going to. My lord, come on, bro.

1:45:19

My goodness. Wow. There

1:45:21

was an after party to

1:45:25

the praise. Yeah, bro.

1:45:27

To the all night lock in, to the

1:45:29

prayer thing, to the morning glory, to the...

1:45:31

My lord. They had a, that was going

1:45:33

on too. You was at

1:45:35

the conference, but that don't mean you knew the bishop was,

1:45:39

and you didn't know the general elect, and you didn't know

1:45:41

the jurisdictional. And the moderator

1:45:44

and the... Huh? Oh

1:45:46

my goodness, bro. You didn't know the

1:45:48

church evangelist, right? Was

1:45:51

over here with the doot-de-doot. So, but

1:45:53

you was there though. But you was

1:45:55

there? You was actually in some pictures.

1:45:57

You was at that conference, but you

1:46:00

being at that conference don't mean. when

1:46:02

you was at they hotel room. And

1:46:04

you pointing that out does not mean

1:46:06

you're trying to absolve Diddy. No, absolutely

1:46:08

not. But people will assume because you're

1:46:10

not doing what they're doing by

1:46:13

only attacking and bringing people

1:46:15

in, that you must be the one

1:46:17

that is trying to make light of it. No, I'm not.

1:46:19

I'm like, no, I'm not. No, I'm not. No, I'm not.

1:46:21

But if I'm able to think critically about it, I can

1:46:23

say, hey man, I'm smart enough to

1:46:25

know not every moment was that. That's exactly right.

1:46:27

Smart enough to know not every person there was

1:46:29

a part of. And I'm also smart enough to

1:46:32

know you've been in some situations with people where

1:46:34

you were ignorant to what was going on, but

1:46:36

would be seen as complicit if you use the

1:46:38

same logic you're using in this moment. Listen, how

1:46:40

many people found out the uncle was

1:46:44

doing something crazy? Right. Huh? This

1:46:47

your family. You worried about somebody that was

1:46:49

organizing a party? Yeah. Stop playing.

1:46:53

Yeah, bro. Huh? Yeah, bro.

1:46:55

So stop playing. Stop playing. The amount of moments that I've

1:46:58

walked in, like again, I started

1:47:00

preaching when I was 23. Started,

1:47:02

got ordained when I was 23. Started

1:47:04

preaching and going to different things. And the amount

1:47:07

of moments that I've walked in on that I

1:47:09

was like, I'm

1:47:12

so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so

1:47:14

sorry. And back away like, oh my Lord. The

1:47:18

way that it's communicated about in

1:47:20

certain circles. The things that

1:47:22

I was just talking to some

1:47:24

brothers last night about how like, there

1:47:26

are certain activities that are

1:47:28

common that people excuse because

1:47:31

their version of God is different

1:47:33

than the Bible. And

1:47:35

they don't see that. And I'm

1:47:37

like, man, you can't allow that. Why are you able

1:47:39

to, but they've created a narrative that

1:47:42

they think is all right. And

1:47:44

I'm like, man, we're all prone. We're all

1:47:46

prone, bro. Yeah, bro. That's, I'm glad

1:47:48

you brought that up. Because

1:47:54

God gave us this platform to steward, one

1:47:57

of the things that I wanna be a champion

1:47:59

for. as a survivor

1:48:01

of sexual abuse myself, I'm

1:48:05

trying to, I

1:48:07

desperately want to champion abuse

1:48:12

people getting their voice back, survivors getting their

1:48:14

voice back. Because here's the

1:48:16

thing, they're the only ones that can

1:48:18

be power abusers. That's right, that's

1:48:20

right bro. Third parties can't do it. Not

1:48:23

third parties, not educated experts, none of those.

1:48:26

Only the people that have been

1:48:28

abnormally used by the power can

1:48:30

take down that power by getting their voice

1:48:33

back. That's real, that's real

1:48:35

bro. Because Cassie put Diddy

1:48:37

under. Under. Jaguar

1:48:39

been talking about this for years. For years, yeah.

1:48:43

But she was indirect

1:48:46

to it. She was privy

1:48:48

to it, but it didn't directly

1:48:50

affect her. That's it. And

1:48:53

only those that have been directly affected,

1:48:55

they're the ones that can take the power from

1:48:58

you. Yeah bro. It didn't

1:49:00

matter how much, how

1:49:02

many times this happened to all the people

1:49:04

R. Kelly was with, until

1:49:07

they opened their mouth, he

1:49:09

did not go away. He was still gonna be

1:49:11

out here. Weinstein, same

1:49:13

thing, Epstein, same thing,

1:49:15

Cosby, same thing. So

1:49:18

victims, victims have to

1:49:20

be empowered. And

1:49:23

once they're empowered, that's when

1:49:25

other people get depowered. That's real.

1:49:28

So profound. Yeah bro. That's really good

1:49:30

bro. Yeah bro. That's good. Wow.

1:49:35

I see the vulnerability here bro, I appreciate it.

1:49:37

Yeah, thank you man. I appreciate it for real.

1:49:39

Yeah. I'm grateful. Yeah,

1:49:42

this is, we trying to help people. Yo,

1:49:44

this is crazy violent. I know man, I

1:49:46

can't stop watching it. Oh

1:49:48

my goodness. They need to scroll up. Hey

1:49:50

bro, so hold on bro. Shut up. Hey,

1:49:53