0:02

Imagine, if you will,

0:04

that you are in

0:06

a place of great

0:09

beauty. Some teenage boys

0:11

walk past you, they

0:13

yell out, Hey, bitch

0:15

tits. The world, you

0:17

see, is a place

0:19

of paradox, of beauty

0:22

and cruelty. It will

0:24

cut you off at

0:26

the knees, then gift

0:28

you a bear of

0:30

easies. And that my

0:33

friends is why you

0:35

always, always, need a

0:37

buck up. Look. Bada

0:40

bada bada bada bada.

0:42

There she is. She's

0:44

very limited in her dancing.

0:47

So she has to dance

0:49

like Peter Garris. In the

0:51

flesh. Who if you've never

0:53

seen him dance. Dancers like

0:56

you. And imagine me with

0:58

a dome. A chrome time.

1:00

Hello, Kate Lanebrook. Oh, hello.

1:02

The artist previously known as

1:04

Nate Valvo. Here she is,

1:07

sash. Now known as Nate

1:09

Valvo. She remembered. Oh, I

1:11

can't even look sash in

1:13

the album. She remembered that

1:15

we were recording because 24

1:17

hours ago. Let's go back.

1:19

The harp music. to this

1:21

studio last night six p.m.

1:23

record thank you last night

1:25

I learned how long you

1:27

two have worked together because

1:29

I'm yapping away doing my

1:31

thing and then sash looks

1:33

at her phone and goes

1:35

at seven past six yeah

1:37

she called your husband

1:40

straight away she just knew

1:42

I saw her little clocks

1:44

clicked and away she went

1:46

she called your husband he

1:48

answers he answers What's

1:50

going on? Where's Kate?

1:52

Well, she's upstairs. Why? Well,

1:54

we're in the backup studio

1:57

waiting. Oh no. So ashamed?

1:59

I know I'm ashamed. Why?

2:01

To keep my colleagues waiting.

2:03

And this great enterprise, the

2:05

backup, with its money back

2:07

guarantee, that you feel better

2:09

at the end of it,

2:11

then you do at the

2:13

start, and the irony is.

2:15

You weren't here. I needed

2:17

it. I needed the buck

2:19

up. You needed a lift.

2:21

Because why? I was in bed.

2:23

Why did Peter say to

2:26

you when you called? By

2:28

the way, this is... best

2:30

producer in the world. Oddly

2:32

enough available for this, this,

2:34

this low rent outing, Sasha,

2:37

French. Yes, yeah that's enough.

2:39

What did he say?

2:41

She said she's upstairs.

2:43

Now we all know what that means.

2:45

What does that mean? You're sleeping. Yeah,

2:47

I was in bed. I was in

2:50

bed. Someone says, oh, they're upstairs. But

2:52

did he tell you what was going

2:54

on? Oh, no. Well, he answered the

2:56

phone, so hang on. Commission to speak.

2:58

Oh, no, he did say, Saulback. Oh

3:00

yes, okay. After a bit of prodding.

3:03

Yeah, all right. Well that's not

3:05

how I got the sore back.

3:07

However, how about his aim? Oh

3:09

really terrible. I mean not terrible

3:11

aim. Anyway, I've got a sore

3:13

back. I've pushed my husband to

3:15

the brink with my sore back

3:17

because as you know this has

3:19

been going on for a little

3:21

while involving me going out to

3:23

see... the car a practical car. Who's too

3:25

far away? He's too far away! Half

3:27

an hour drive! I had to go

3:29

see more! Forty minute drive! Five minute

3:32

drive! You know what happens? I get

3:34

in the car I'm feeling fine. By

3:36

the time I get there I've got

3:38

a... crook back. So I know when

3:40

you drive into the Cairo because you'll

3:42

call me and just chat and stories

3:44

go on it's like a free backup

3:46

app and I click 10 minutes in

3:48

oh you're on your way in your

3:51

Cairo. Anyway I can't I've prepaid and

3:53

I've got two more I think okay

3:55

you got a value pack and I'm

3:57

finished. Uh-huh I'm done. What is that?

3:59

say about his belief in his

4:01

system where he offers people value packs.

4:04

It's not a value pack. I sash.

4:06

He just knows he's so far away

4:08

he's going to make me pay for

4:10

five in advance because if I it

4:13

was left up to me I'd go

4:15

too far. Shouldn't you be arrogant with

4:17

your business and say you won't need

4:19

a pack? One's enough. Quite arrogant. They're

4:22

very short sessions. Very short. I have,

4:24

and maybe there is Buckhead's listening. I

4:26

have never stepped foot in a Cairo

4:28

appointment. So I actually don't technically

4:30

know what happens when you get in

4:33

there. Oh, what do you do? Would

4:35

you like one of my videos? To

4:37

enjoy it. Well, they give you a,

4:40

it depends. Hmm. But you know, most

4:42

chiropractors are like, okay, there are marriages

4:44

that have lasted less time than most

4:46

people's relationship with their chiropractors. It's once

4:49

a week. Okay. Sashna I've shared one

4:51

in the past. Clicking and clacking and

4:53

bending and stretching. Yeah, there's always a

4:55

bit of neck, rub, rub, rub, rub.

4:58

Do you know how it was just?

5:00

I won't go because I hate this so much.

5:02

Does your caro do this? I think I have

5:04

a fear of it when someone says put your

5:06

hands across your chest. Yes. Yes. And

5:08

then they stand behind you and like

5:10

lean you back to crack something. Well,

5:13

I'm on a I'm on a bed.

5:15

I have a panic attack. Well, it's

5:17

all cracking. It's just all cracking. I

5:19

have to lie on my side and

5:21

put my arms like that in the

5:23

fetal position and then he straddles me.

5:25

Hello. Here we go. Anyway for the

5:27

five pack. So Peter spoke quite sternly

5:29

to me to me today. He was on

5:31

the brink. and he said, he's off and

5:33

on the brink with you. I think

5:35

so. It's hard to tell because there's

5:38

so much, there's so much suppressed rage

5:40

in him that he just, you know

5:42

what he's like, you know, we've discussed

5:44

this before, training a guide dog puppy

5:46

and they take the food away from

5:49

them when they're a brand new little

5:51

pup and if they get growl or

5:53

even look at you with a wonky

5:55

eye, they're not allowed to train any

5:58

further as a guide dog puppy. all

6:00

his external, all his external,

6:02

his and the sides of

6:04

range. But today he said

6:06

to me, as I went

6:08

cripulating out to the car,

6:11

and last night, which was

6:13

just a disaster, he said

6:15

to me, when are you

6:17

going to go see a

6:19

professional about your back? And

6:21

I said, I am going

6:23

to see a professional this

6:25

morning. And he said, That's

6:28

not a professional. That's

6:30

a chiropractor. Now I don't

6:32

like any of this talk. Here

6:34

we go. I'm guessing Petite's never

6:36

stepped forward into a Cairo office.

6:38

He has. That's why he doesn't

6:40

like that. Because when Sarsh and

6:42

I remember when we were going

6:44

Sarsh, he's a scorned ex-ex lover.

6:47

He's just like, I'm not on

6:49

board with any of this. Is

6:51

Cairo kind of like, apparently I've

6:53

heard certain drugs. You have a good

6:55

time until you're always forever now

6:57

chasing that one time it was

6:59

really good. Yeah, that's right. And the

7:02

first time I ever went to a

7:04

chiropractor, I'm like, oh my goodness, I

7:06

didn't even know my neck could look

7:08

over my shoulder. Like I was on

7:10

such a high. Well, you know how

7:12

I'm convinced? Well, we know that the

7:15

phone's listening. We know this. And I've

7:17

complained a lot. I'm on the brink.

7:19

of my algorithm being near your phone.

7:21

So they'll do all sorts of stuff.

7:23

Yes, yes. I find it very weird

7:26

that we called you last night. You're

7:28

banging on about your back from the

7:30

comfort of your bed while we're here in

7:32

the studio alone. Yeah. Well, you had each

7:34

other. You had each other. But did you

7:37

realize how integral I am as the third

7:39

leg of this tripod? You know what? You

7:41

know what? You know what? We kicked off.

7:43

We had a lovely time. Did you. Oh,

7:45

but you didn't. This is a gift

7:48

from Brad at the project. He bought

7:50

it and I forgot to bring it

7:52

in last week. Oh my god, it's

7:54

cock fucking cowboys. Yes, but they can't

7:56

call them that anymore. So what are

7:58

they called? Long talk. But look how

8:00

they package them. I'm sorry. It's so...

8:03

Do you know what sounds gay than

8:05

saying can I have a cuck-sucking cowboys?

8:07

Can I have a long tall cowboy?

8:09

But you know there was that era

8:12

in our life? A long toy cowboy.

8:14

Tall. A long tall cowboy. Is that

8:16

just the ones you bought at the

8:18

shop boy? If you were to buy.

8:20

Do you have to say long tall

8:23

cowboy? I think it depends what sort

8:25

of bar you're at. But remember... there

8:27

was a terrible era where they would

8:29

make us say the most humiliating things

8:32

when we just wanted to drink. So

8:34

we'd have to go up to the

8:36

bar and say, can I have a

8:38

long comfortable screw against the wall? I

8:41

just, just terrible. Can I have a

8:43

stand up bit about, I refuse to

8:45

ask for the juice names? I didn't

8:47

want to go to, because you know,

8:49

you go to like those boost juice

8:52

stores. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Can I

8:54

have the mango, mango, berry, bash, bash?

8:56

It's humiliating. Just, that should just number

8:58

everything. And then you've got to go

9:01

to the bartend of it any slowly.

9:03

How many? How many? I'd go three.

9:05

Can we please have four fingered behind

9:07

the shell for shit? I'm so glad

9:09

that my daughter doesn't have to do

9:12

that now. I'm so happy that the

9:14

younger generations are sucking back long tall

9:16

cowboys. They don't know. I can't have

9:18

a shot. I drove! Okay, I'm gonna

9:21

have a sip. We're just gonna pop

9:23

the lead. Thank you, Brad. It's just

9:25

such a lovely present. A sip a

9:27

sip of a long, tall cowboy. And

9:29

look how they've designed. It's in a

9:32

little, it's for people who can't see.

9:34

It's in a miniature, it's a shot

9:36

glass, but they've divided it into two.

9:38

It's, that's, that's, it's delicious. It's all

9:41

right, I'm on board, I'm on board

9:43

that, thank you. Oh yeah! I can't

9:45

remember what the event was. Oh that

9:47

ticks my back! A cousin's 18th or

9:49

21st or something, many years ago we

9:52

got in on her a Cox-Iken cowboy.

9:54

And she didn't really understand what was

9:56

going on. What did you call it?

9:58

Not anona. On Saturday Night. Oh, Saturday

10:01

was a long, tall cowboy. Yeah. And

10:03

then we looked back at her like

10:05

10 minutes later and she was just

10:07

sipping it like an espresso. She had

10:10

a little shot. She was doing little

10:12

sippies. Yeah, I don't think it has

10:14

to be a shot. Adorable. Anyway. What

10:16

we're talking about? My algorithm. So Gabby,

10:18

who's this girl that was on The

10:21

Bachelor in America years ago and

10:23

all this stuff, she's quite funny,

10:25

she kicked off on Kairoz and for

10:27

some reason, I don't even follow her, it

10:29

came up in my feed, and I find

10:31

her very funny, but he's her

10:33

little rent. Oh. Don't get me

10:36

started on chiropractors. The only chiropractors

10:38

I've been to are perverts. Oh!

10:40

You're gonna cop a feel, always,

10:42

and you gotta let them. Because

10:45

I need my hamstring drag-kneedled so

10:47

I can kick my face in

10:49

10 pound cowboy boots, so I

10:51

don't get yelled out for having

10:54

kicks. This is what women endure.

10:56

This is our plight. And then

10:58

it's like, have you ever seen

11:01

a woman chiropractor? No, because they're

11:03

an acupuncture. Questionable medicine, but it

11:05

comes from the heart. Also, ask

11:07

them to stay away from your

11:10

neck and shoulders. I did have

11:12

a friend who's acupuncturist. Nope, it

11:14

was a chiropractor practicing acupuncture. Dropped

11:17

her lung. She had to get

11:19

a chest tube in the hospital.

11:21

At a mere 30-something years old,

11:24

I went to go see her on my lunch

11:26

break. She was great. I don't

11:28

even know what happened. I don't

11:30

know what that was. Drop their

11:32

lung or something. I don't know,

11:34

but I thought, Kate needs to

11:36

hear this. Well, I love it.

11:38

But you know, I can't be

11:40

helped. So even I know, I've

11:42

driven my husband to the brink

11:44

and obviously there's something with this

11:46

back. It's not working anyway. So

11:48

you know what I did, Sash.

11:51

I messaged our former chiropractor. Yeah,

11:53

he's moved to Queensland, of course

11:55

he has. COVID. After the planning,

11:58

yes. And I see. I said,

12:00

I need a Cairo. And this was fresh

12:02

off my conversation with Peter. Peter's like,

12:04

you don't need a Cairo, you need

12:06

a physiotherapist who's going to give you

12:09

exercises that you do every day. Of

12:11

course, he lost me at every day.

12:13

I want magic. I want the magic

12:15

exercises. Yes. You know what I'm in

12:17

the mood for? Pete, a shortcut. Yeah,

12:20

how about that, Mr. Brink? Yeah, why

12:22

do you think McDonald's is so popular?

12:24

Thank you. Because you can drive through

12:26

and you drive out. Oh, and by

12:28

the way, Peter, all of the essays

12:31

are going to be AI. So

12:33

everything's shortcut. All right. Love you.

12:35

So he gave me the number of

12:37

a Cairo. I've got a new Cairo.

12:40

Because even if I was borderline about

12:42

this, this last line got me. So

12:44

you said he'll see me straight away,

12:46

even though this is a two-month

12:49

waiting list. Two months. Yeah, because

12:51

I've got heads up. right?

12:53

Mm-hmm. I've got fast

12:56

track. Mm-hmm. He's no

12:58

back jockevages. He's

13:01

no back jockevitches.

13:03

Crackman. Bone man, backman.

13:06

Is he the one that

13:08

goes out into the court

13:11

when he doesn't? I don't

13:13

know. I'll find everything

13:15

out. But you know

13:18

one of my favorite

13:20

things ever happened. Last

13:22

year with the tennis better than

13:24

the time that guy was licking

13:26

spoons in your front yard Okay,

13:28

involving sport. This is my favorite

13:30

thing when I told you when

13:32

Jokovich was playing And Bill Gates

13:34

was sitting there watching him. I

13:36

don't remember this what it was

13:38

like two villains. Yeah, on your

13:40

point of view the final fight.

13:43

Yes, and Bill Gates was there

13:45

with his new girlfriend. Uh-huh, but

13:47

he wasn't even in courtside seats.

13:49

He was literally sitting on the

13:52

court. He was on the court

13:54

and he was watching Jokovich play

13:56

and I'm like the unvaxed versus

13:58

the Vax pusher. I mean, it's

14:00

You are firing. He was a Vax.

14:03

Do you think he was a Vax

14:05

for Jack? Back pain makes you even more

14:07

insane. Anyway,

14:14

that's... I will give you a

14:16

full report. I cannot wait to

14:18

hear. And you know what? About

14:20

Djokovic's chiropractor. I'm going to come

14:22

in dancing. That's how I'm going

14:24

to be. Yeah, well, hey. Djokovic

14:26

is still going. He's

14:29

got something good going him. I've lost

14:31

interest after seeing him play with Bill Gates

14:33

watching. It's never going to get better

14:35

than that. In fact, I can't even remember

14:37

what happened at the match. Well, you

14:39

hear. And that's all that matters. And you

14:42

can't sit properly. Ba,

14:44

ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba,

14:46

ba, ba. Possum's

14:49

in the pool. So, remember you had

14:51

your lovely story two? Yeah, two. 25 dollars

14:53

a possum. I love when you say

14:55

things if someone skipped a nap. would

14:59

possibly mean. Our daughter found two dead

15:01

possums in your pool. Yeah, she called

15:03

Peter. Oh, my God, literally the worst

15:05

thing has happened. 25 bucks a pop.

15:07

That's what he said to her. I'll

15:09

give you 25 dollars each. Get them

15:11

out. Yeah. My friends found her and

15:13

Dan. They're going to love a shout

15:15

out. Oh, they love the buck up.

15:17

Oh, hello. We love people who love the

15:19

buck Out there in research last week. Yeah. Score

15:21

through the a suburb for people it. Oh, yes.

15:23

Research out there in the hills. Yeah. Very green.

15:25

Very bushy. Oh, that's nice. They remind me of

15:27

them when I first went and saw the house.

15:29

I was like, have you got your little plan

15:31

ready? Stay

15:34

and defend. Yeah, yeah. What's there? What's

15:36

there? I can't remember. I zoned out.

15:38

But, yeah. Score through the day. Yeah,

15:40

right. 37 or something. Degrees. They come

15:42

home from somewhere. I'm sketching the details

15:44

because I zone in and out when

15:46

people tell a story. Yeah. She

15:48

owns the backyard and she can hear

15:50

commotion. There

15:53

is a drowning possum in their

15:55

pool. Oh, no. Not in

15:57

the act, or? There is

15:59

a drought. Possum, she screams to

16:01

Dennis, then to the rescue

16:04

who had heard the buck

16:06

up Possum episode, goes and

16:08

gets the pool cleaner, pool

16:10

chubby thing, leaf, the leaf

16:12

collector. Oh yeah, the net,

16:15

the possum up, rescues the

16:17

possum up, rescues the possum,

16:19

then the possum tried to

16:21

attack him. Yes, thank you.

16:23

That is a life lesson.

16:25

Your attitude, possums. Yes. You

16:27

just got saved. Yes. From

16:29

being drowned. Yes. And your

16:32

first instinct was to punch

16:34

on. And you know what?

16:36

That's why in life, never

16:38

be a good Samaritan. So

16:40

the lesson here kids, if

16:42

you see someone drowning, you

16:44

put your headphones back in

16:46

and keep on more. You're

16:49

messing with the universal karma.

16:51

So they people learn things. What

16:53

sort was it by the way?

16:55

Because I have... What sort of

16:58

possum? Yeah, was it... I don't

17:00

know. Yeah, there's two times. Oh

17:02

yeah, well, rings fail and should

17:04

be killed. And the cute little...

17:07

The ringtail one's a cute...

17:09

You know, you can take

17:11

the big bushy tail ones

17:13

to the vet and get

17:15

them put down. Oh, for

17:17

what? But who's going to

17:19

spend that money? Because the

17:21

dog... You just compared someone

17:23

putting their family member down,

17:25

which is what your dog

17:27

is, to collecting a wild

17:29

possum in the backyard. Excuse

17:32

me, vet. Excuse me, vet.

17:34

We found this in the

17:36

backyard. Can you do something?

17:38

But madam, that's your dog. Anyway.

17:40

What did they do? Well, no,

17:42

they'll let it go. Well, they let

17:45

it go. Yeah, they let it go. Yeah.

17:47

And they let it. And they let it

17:49

come. Yeah, the moral of the story is,

17:51

I don't know what to do now when

17:53

there's a drown in our society. What are

17:56

we supposed to do? Yeah, you know what? Tough

17:58

love. Tough love is what's needed. You want

18:00

the other possums to see and

18:02

witness so then they get scared.

18:04

Uh-huh, that's right. Right? Make an

18:07

example. Like the NBA man at

18:09

our house the other day who'd

18:11

fix the NBA court and then

18:13

try to tell me like I

18:15

give a flying... Shit told me

18:17

that there's a gaping hole in

18:19

the tiles in the roof and

18:21

most likely possums and so you

18:23

better get someone in here because

18:26

you've probably got possums all through

18:28

the roof. But it's a rental.

18:30

It's like, yeah, I'm not going

18:32

to do any of that. But hang

18:34

on, have you got possums in the

18:36

roof? Yeah, no. Yeah, you know why?

18:38

Oh, you'll love this. I thought my

18:40

dog could see a ghost Darby.

18:42

Darby, the snobby dog.

18:45

She's actually, not a snob

18:47

at all. She's just, I think

18:49

she's too good for my dog,

18:51

who looks almost identical to her.

18:54

And then you sent me a

18:56

picture of her swimming the other

18:59

day, so that was a great

19:01

achievement. My dog had spent

19:03

so much time swimming. Like

19:05

it's a great achievement. Just,

19:07

you know what else? Well,

19:09

I remember to come here

19:11

last night. a corner of a

19:13

wall and of course drama a captain

19:16

over here. Yeah, there's someone's dead,

19:18

my dog's talking to a dead

19:20

person, there's an old woman that

19:23

died in this room. Like when

19:25

you breastfeed a baby in the

19:27

middle of the night? I don't

19:29

know. Oh yeah, they do really

19:32

weird things. Like they're looking at

19:34

someone over your shoulder, don't they

19:36

say much? Oh, it's really unnerving.

19:39

Oh that's spooky. Where else would

19:41

they've come? from. Well, what's that?

19:43

The husband's penis. We've got

19:46

to have a chat gate. I

19:48

wasn't even married at the time. I

19:50

know you grew up in the church

19:52

but I would have teach you some

19:54

ways of the world. Oh, so my

19:56

dog was staring at this corner and

19:59

I was done. I'm convinced that it

20:01

was a ghost and my dog

20:03

had powers. Was she waiting for

20:05

a servant to come up? No,

20:07

she was sniffing and reacting to

20:09

possums. It was possums. And what

20:11

did she do? Well, she was

20:13

like, her tail went, you know,

20:15

and they said, I cannot kill

20:17

habit with his rodents. I'm so

20:19

hurt sash. I can tell because

20:21

you bring it up every week.

20:23

All the time. Okay, so your

20:25

dog wants over to my house

20:28

to hang out with my dog.

20:30

I thought it went really well,

20:32

but obviously they talked about my

20:34

dog on the way home. Like

20:36

a couple of movies. The only

20:38

reason I haven't done it again

20:40

is because you live 35 minutes

20:42

away and I see him every

20:44

second day. And also can I

20:46

say, love you. but you're one

20:48

of those people with a parking

20:50

situation absolutely sucks. And everyone listening

20:52

here to this podcast knows. If

20:54

you have a friend where the

20:56

parking is a nightmare, the friendships

20:58

are almost over. I don't think

21:00

so if you come during the

21:03

day, there's a lot of one

21:05

hour places. One hour even that

21:07

longer if you've got a permit

21:09

which we don't have. See? That's

21:11

what I mean. All right. Okay,

21:13

I get it. I would like

21:15

you to come back with Darby.

21:17

I'll bring you, you could come

21:19

to ours. We all know that

21:21

we all love White Lotus, right?

21:23

So one and two? Love White

21:25

Lotus, incredible. Although you know what?

21:27

What? I can't forgive Mike White

21:29

Lotus. Don't say it much because

21:31

people might not have watched. If

21:33

they haven't. Oh, honestly, how long.

21:36

All right, fine for killing off.

21:38

Yeah, don't say your name then.

21:40

Yes, but we all know. Because

21:42

you know how he's one of

21:44

my idols because not only is

21:46

he an incredible TV writer and

21:48

movie writer people don't realize he

21:50

wrote School of Rock. Oh, that's

21:52

right. And he's in it and

21:54

all that stuff. He's also my

21:56

idol because he went on American

21:58

Survivor. As just a regular. How's

22:00

the witch going? She's going well.

22:02

No, I haven't, I haven't caught,

22:05

I've had some stuff on, so

22:07

I've got, I've got two, I'm

22:09

two behind, but I smashed them

22:11

all in. All right, okay. Shoooshies.

22:13

All right. But look, I won't

22:15

lie. I'm into episode four or

22:17

five of White Lotus season three.

22:19

How many, are you, are you,

22:21

has like, can you binge it?

22:23

No, it's one a week. No,

22:25

no. See, I'm not on board

22:27

until they're all, and then I

22:29

can just gorge myself on it.

22:31

So far, yeah, it's very slow.

22:33

That's what everyone said. It's really,

22:35

is it boring? It's not boring,

22:38

but it's slow. But there is

22:40

something to be celebrated, and you

22:42

know, everyone here on this podcast

22:44

is going to love what I'm

22:47

about to tell you. Two of

22:49

the lead girls in it. Yeah. Have

22:51

their original teeth. I'm obsessed

22:53

with these actresses. So Amy

22:56

Lou Wood, look at those

22:58

teeth. Oh, look at those

23:00

glorious fence posts. I love

23:02

her. She's stunning. Google. Amy

23:05

Lou Wood, is it? Yep,

23:07

Amy, Lou Wood. But looking

23:10

though, a couple of those

23:12

pictures, she's hiding her teeth.

23:14

Like my daughter does, because

23:17

she's self-conscious. She shouldn't be

23:19

self-conscious. The other one. Charlotte.

23:22

Charlotte. Charlotte Lebon

23:24

Lebon! Lebon! Look at

23:26

those teeth! Oh my! Look at those

23:28

teeth! Piggle deep! Oh I love

23:30

it! It's like a Lego box

23:33

at the end of the night!

23:35

And you know it's great about

23:37

it? They're the two, I reckon

23:40

they're the two hottest on the

23:42

show. They're stunning! Do you think

23:44

she's a Lebon? No, she

23:46

has an accent in the show

23:48

so I think it's real? I don't know.

23:50

A European? Of some sort. Oh. She hasn't

23:53

got the biggest role, but... Oh, I love

23:55

them. It's proving my theory. Guarantee, that's why

23:57

he's cast them. Right, for the teeth? Yeah.

23:59

You reckon my cat loves teeth

24:01

like we do? No, well I

24:04

think he's like, there's a certain

24:06

look to him there he can.

24:08

Oh by the way, if you've

24:10

got your caps on, we're not

24:12

anti-cabs. No I'm about to get

24:14

some. I'm anti-bad caps. But I'm,

24:16

I'm, maybe I'll get some snaggle-tooth

24:18

caps. You get a couple, yeah. I

24:20

told you, get a round one. You

24:23

can't tell that you've had them

24:25

done then. And I'm going to

24:27

get them at like people's political

24:30

persuasions. One having left and one

24:32

heading right. All I want is

24:34

just good real teeth in TV.

24:36

I don't judge people in real

24:38

life because I have to admit

24:40

something when I got invisible iron.

24:42

I couldn't tell. I didn't realize

24:44

like your daughter the insecurity you

24:46

carry when you do feel weird

24:48

about your smile because when I...

24:50

finished my invisible line. You couldn't

24:52

stop grinning. There was a massive

24:54

difference in how I like

24:57

operated day-to-day, how I smiled in

24:59

photos and how I felt doing TV.

25:01

I think I'll be like that because

25:03

you know I've got that one.

25:06

Strange. No, they're too little.

25:08

Mike White would chuck you

25:10

on white loaders with those

25:12

chomp. Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm. So that's the

25:14

best part about this season

25:16

three is just teeth. Megan

25:19

Markle. Does she have it

25:21

here? With Love. Oh yes.

25:24

Does she such? They're totally,

25:26

they're really weird. They're too,

25:29

they're too uniform and LA

25:31

teeth. Yeah, and they're blue

25:34

white. Anyway, but so I've

25:36

been watching with Love Megan,

25:38

with love. And it has

25:40

been such a rocky ride.

25:42

You know, when it came out,

25:44

people would like so... Keen to

25:47

hate on it. Mm-hmm present company

25:49

included you by the way

25:51

not me just Sarsh and I were

25:54

messaging we were like the day that

25:56

it dropped and then I had trouble

25:58

with my Netflix Login. Did

26:01

you? Yep. because

26:03

you know how Peter got scammed and

26:05

cut off his credit card and then

26:08

it cut off all our streamers and

26:10

then we I've just had to claw

26:12

them back here and there as I

26:15

realize they banned to me but he

26:17

was trying he had his computer out

26:19

and after 20 minutes of watching him

26:22

tried it I just messaged Sasha you

26:24

were on the brink I was on

26:26

the brink everyone's on the brink everyone's

26:29

on the brink everyone's on the

26:31

brink everyone's on the brink

26:33

Anyway, so I got SARS

26:35

logging. And because I

26:37

got her logging... It played

26:40

for me from episode three. I

26:42

didn't realize this. Everyone had gone

26:44

on. The first episode is so

26:46

terrible. The third episode is actually

26:48

great. It's a guy who makes

26:50

Korean fried chicken. He's a chef

26:52

and he was really nice. And

26:54

it was a really enjoyable episode.

26:57

No, she'd never met him before.

26:59

No, she doesn't have friends. They're

27:01

all the only people that she's

27:03

got as friends. I think a

27:05

staff. Well that's fun, that's

27:07

like anyone in showbiz, really?

27:10

Not really. A lot of

27:12

people. I don't want to

27:14

know that. There's a mix

27:17

of both. Anyway, I ended

27:19

up watching it and then

27:21

at one point I was

27:23

like, I can't tell them I

27:25

hate watching this. I'm enjoying

27:27

it. Is she funny? No.

27:29

But she's kind of... There's something really

27:32

brittle about her like you know the

27:34

famous exchange she had with Mindy Kami

27:36

where she said it. It's so funny

27:38

how you call me Megan Markel. You

27:40

know I'm Sussex now which nobody in

27:43

the entire world including her husband whose

27:45

son is not Sussex had ever heard.

27:47

And it was just such a weird

27:49

thing to say to Mindy Kaling because

27:52

she didn't know her. I don't want

27:54

to get involved. I will say I

27:56

may have seen the clip online where they

27:58

showed me that her saying that. and then

28:00

cut to her in the

28:03

Oprah interview a few years

28:05

ago saying they tried to

28:08

erase me and try and

28:10

and try to take my

28:12

name. Yes. So she's done

28:15

a bit of a 180.

28:17

Well she's always done away

28:19

180. She's just a

28:22

constant life of you

28:24

know what she is? Her

28:26

name should be Haviana. Flipflake!

28:29

What is it about her

28:31

that women are absolutely obsessed

28:34

with? Love or hate? She is taking

28:36

every girl I know's attention at

28:38

the moment. I think it's twofold.

28:40

One is we were all invested

28:42

at the time. This was before

28:45

we knew what we know about

28:47

Harry when we thought he was

28:49

cute and we all loved him.

28:51

that when he brought home this bride

28:53

we were all so heavily invested we

28:55

went to a wedding party on the

28:57

day that they got married and it

28:59

was great fun the wedding was pretty

29:02

cool the wet sort of well in

29:04

retrospect you sort of go on she

29:06

got a bit you know given what

29:08

we know now that she'd really

29:10

only embraced her blackness at the

29:13

wedding yeah pretty registered really that

29:15

it was a blade on with

29:17

the choir and the guy and

29:19

the pre minister whatever whatever whatever

29:21

Whatever. And then the other side

29:24

of the coin is, because of

29:26

the obsession with true crime, we're

29:28

all like now amateur detectives. And

29:30

there's a lot to investigate about

29:33

her and things don't add. If

29:35

I come to your house, if

29:37

I can ever find parking,

29:39

I'm going to walk into that

29:42

room. There's going to be red

29:44

strings and pins. Just about

29:46

for instance. How's that? bookwriting

29:48

goal. I think I'm going

29:51

to turn it into a

29:53

thriller. Uh-huh. Your book? Well,

29:55

I have to. Do we

29:57

incorporate these elements? Oh, yes.

29:59

this person that I do not know

30:02

and yet I feel I know so

30:04

well like so many people. Anyway, so for

30:06

instance she says things all

30:08

the time and contradicts herself like

30:10

the name business. I thought they

30:12

were taking my name away. I'm,

30:14

how funny, you call me by

30:16

name, that's not my name anymore,

30:18

right? That's so her. She told

30:20

this story within the context of

30:22

the show and she mentioned it

30:24

a couple times about how she

30:26

grew up eating fast food. Right? And

30:28

she goes, I was a latchkey

30:31

kid. Oh, let me tell you.

30:33

Let her tell you. I was

30:35

a latchkey kid. So I grew

30:37

up with a lot of fast

30:39

food and also a lot of

30:41

TV tray dinners. It feels like

30:43

such a different time, but that

30:45

was so normal with the microwavable

30:47

kids' meals that had compartmentalised. Like,

30:49

do you remember them? the hungry

30:51

man meals and there's a little

30:53

tiny compartment that has apple crumble

30:55

in it. Yes, I thought there

30:57

was more delicious as a child. I

30:59

grew up with that watching Jeopardy

31:02

and having a lot of

31:04

fast food. Right, okay. Did

31:06

she? Okay. Because she's previously...

31:08

Hang on bring the pin

31:10

in the board. Put the

31:12

pin in the board. So

31:14

fast food, luchkey kid. So

31:16

from when she was 11

31:18

to when she was 18.

31:20

She lived with her father.

31:22

A strange male. Yeah, Thomas

31:24

Markle, who was D.I.P. on

31:26

married with children, I think

31:28

at the time. He'd come

31:30

off General Hospital. And every

31:32

day after school, he would either

31:34

send a car to pick her

31:37

up or pick her up himself

31:39

and she would come to the

31:41

set where she would eat

31:43

the onset catering. Yamo,

31:46

but she wasn't

31:48

a latchkey kid.

31:50

And in fact,

31:52

when someone says,

31:54

in fact, it's so

31:57

fact, though, in 2006.

32:00

Christine, she did a cooking

32:02

show like Master Chef, but for

32:04

kids cooking. And this is what

32:06

she said as one of the...

32:08

Write your book! But I will

32:10

say, I really enjoyed eating your

32:13

food. This dish reminded me of

32:15

the kind of food that I

32:17

grew up eating in California, like

32:19

that real sort of farm to

32:21

table fresh, really simple ingredients. Right.

32:23

We should have more than one

32:26

meal. I know, she grew up

32:28

eating in California. You're not, you're

32:30

either a latchkey kid and you're

32:32

living on. You've done it. Yeah.

32:34

You've done it. All right. You've

32:36

cracked Megan, wide open. There is

32:39

no coming back for news. That

32:41

was out. The non-writing. The royal

32:43

family couldn't bring her down. Kay

32:45

Lamerook just did. Anyway, but here's

32:47

the thing, I don't want to

32:49

bring her down. Good. Because the

32:52

further I went into her episode,

32:54

the more I kind of liked

32:56

her. I mean, she's not the

32:58

first person in the world to

33:00

wreak of desperation. Which one of

33:02

us has not exuded that smell

33:05

from everybody? We started a podcast.

33:07

Yeah. And also, can I say

33:09

something very quickly on a red

33:11

pin on the board there? At

33:13

least it seems that she's always

33:15

been into cooking. She did, at

33:18

least it seems that she's always

33:20

been into cooking. Yes! She did

33:22

a cooking show years ago. There

33:24

we go. It's not like it's

33:26

that out of no, it's not

33:28

like she's phony about being interested

33:31

in food. No, she's properly, although

33:33

when you watch her knife skills,

33:35

which as a conister of true

33:37

crime, most people would go, she

33:39

couldn't have commended the murder. Anyway,

33:41

you're sort of like, has she

33:44

done a lot of cooking? Let

33:46

me say this. She's got stuff.

33:48

Let me just defend her in

33:50

this way. She didn't need to

33:52

know defense. Well, maybe a little

33:54

bit. The accent, the voice you

33:57

do for her is like this

33:59

90 year old. which

34:01

would fine I feel that she has what

34:03

most of us in this studio have she

34:05

has the performer bug if I'm not on

34:07

if I don't do a gig at least

34:09

every couple of weeks I get a bit

34:11

itchy I get a bit I push Cody

34:13

to the brink right we need the hit

34:15

it's part of it we are I tried

34:17

to fight it for many years it's like

34:19

no it's part of who I am I

34:22

love performing I love getting on stage blah

34:24

blah blah she has that I

34:26

got taken away because she can't

34:28

act in anything now she's no that's

34:30

right be able to be any

34:32

roll she's bigger than any I

34:34

wouldn't even let her play herself

34:36

on that right she wouldn't be

34:38

able to get any more acting

34:41

she is gagging someone would cast

34:43

her though she can so to

34:45

get that hit she's doing money

34:47

and she needs money Netflix have

34:49

renewed it yeah it was already

34:51

it was already shot so now

34:53

there's a thing about but why

34:56

wouldn't they I mean I saw

34:58

it in the top 10 the

35:00

other day top 10 drop down

35:02

pretty quickly apparently but one other

35:04

issue I have with it it's

35:07

not her house no it's not her

35:09

house and there's studio so we

35:11

know it's another house down the road

35:13

from it

35:15

yeah you would see however

35:17

when she's poodling around

35:19

picking berries in the garden

35:22

because she's she has

35:24

rich white ladies pastimes right

35:26

that's really what she is and

35:28

so if you want to watch

35:30

a rich white lady doing stuff

35:32

it's like what Martha Stewart does

35:34

which she's just elevated and exalted

35:36

forgot to show you oh what

35:38

Cody as you know he's always

35:40

away because he has his second

35:42

family somewhere um he's secret husband

35:44

oh yes yes so he's not

35:46

he's got a secret really

35:49

I mean make

35:51

his family talk to him again Um,

35:54

that's a joke. They love it. It's very

35:56

supportive. It's a bit of a joke, but a

35:58

good bit of Queensland hero. So

36:00

Cody's sitting at this restaurant. Not

36:02

even really a restaurant. Kind of

36:04

like one of those like dallies. It's

36:07

connected to like shops and stuff. What

36:09

country? What country? America. All of a

36:11

sudden. Martha Stewart sits down next to

36:13

him. Oh my. And that's Martha Stewart

36:16

sitting there having a meal. He wrote.

36:18

She's wearing... She looks like

36:20

she looks unbelievable. Yeah, I'll

36:23

put it on the back

36:25

up inside. They put on

36:27

the back up inside. Yeah,

36:29

that's mother. That's the back

36:32

of her hair. Look stunning.

36:34

Who is she with? Yeah,

36:36

I don't know. I reckon

36:38

that's an assistant. I do

36:41

too. I do too. Oh,

36:43

she looks so good. Could

36:45

she, would snoop with her?

36:47

No. I've been desperate and

36:50

I'm really cold. A lot of

36:52

stuff has not made it to

36:54

this. We got in the lift

36:56

before and Kate said, I've written

36:58

1,200 words for my book.

37:01

That's half a chapter. You

37:03

love it. There's such a good

37:05

work ethic. Go on. So is

37:07

it Drew Barrymore? Okay. Hang on,

37:10

but what was the point? you

37:12

don't think anyone would have

37:14

said this to her. Oh yes,

37:16

this is so weird. So this

37:19

is just so properly. I want

37:21

the buckets, no. I suggested should

37:23

we just do a bonus app

37:26

to let you? Is it too

37:28

much? Maybe, no, I'm just, people

37:30

can double speed through it. But

37:33

I guarantee they won't. Okay. Let's

37:35

get the, what is going? Let's

37:37

get the what? No, no, no, he's

37:39

no, he's really not. No, no, no,

37:41

you tease it now. No, you tease

37:43

it now. No, you're on the brink,

37:45

but I'm not there yet. All right,

37:48

well, you'll really enjoy this because it

37:50

involves Drew Barry Moore. Right. Speaking of

37:52

someone else who needed to get that

37:54

hit and wasn't getting it from performing.

37:56

She went into doing a daily show

37:58

and pouring people on. to promote the

38:00

show. A number of interesting things

38:03

happened. She showed her a picture

38:05

of Diana from when Drew was

38:07

a kid and she met Diana

38:09

and Megan did not like it.

38:12

Oh, didn't like it. Anyway. but

38:14

also what happened. I don't know,

38:16

it was a really weird moment

38:18

and in fact when you analyse

38:21

the body language, which we can't

38:23

do because this is a podcast,

38:25

Megan actually clamped up. No, leans

38:27

back from her at such an

38:30

angle that she'll probably want

38:32

the number of Novakjokovich's chiropractorism.

38:34

Anyway, so she's talking with

38:36

Drew and she's doing that

38:38

thing where I've got the

38:40

most... and you know she

38:42

rolls her eyes back and

38:44

she starts saying lovely things

38:46

about Harry and just you just

38:48

don't believe it but whatever it could

38:50

be true I'm not that's not on

38:53

the pinboard but then apropos of seemingly

38:55

nothing she tells this story. I will

38:57

tell you just you know when I

38:59

was a babysitter nanny for two Irish

39:01

Catholic families when I was in college

39:03

and one of the dads said to

39:06

me he's like you know Megan when

39:08

you meet your person one day I

39:10

want him to say to you the

39:12

same thing that I said to my

39:14

wife when we got married, which is

39:16

I vowed to always date my

39:19

wife. And I told each

39:21

that when we started dating,

39:23

he goes, I vowed to

39:25

always date you. Okay. I

39:27

have four children. We've had

39:30

a number of babysitters in

39:32

the course of our raising

39:34

our family. If my husband

39:36

had ever had a conversation

39:38

with an 18-year-old girl about

39:40

him wanting her to find

39:43

a guy like him who's

39:45

vowed or waste, that would

39:47

be the last time that

39:49

that girl or that husband

39:52

would be setting foot in

39:54

my house. Have you ever

39:57

heard anything stranger and also...

39:59

odd thing, almost as odd

40:01

as you going just before

40:03

the clip, apropos. Was it

40:06

a bit hullabaloo? A bit

40:08

hullavalo. Aproposo! The she dogs

40:10

and the he dogs and

40:12

the he dogs and the

40:14

apropos. And the other thing

40:16

she does, that's so strange.

40:18

And after this I promised

40:20

I just had to get

40:22

it out. I'm here for

40:24

you to get it out.

40:26

I am. I don't know.

40:28

I don't know. I don't

40:30

know. I think she's got

40:32

PTSD from everything that happened

40:34

in England. I just think

40:36

it's all swirling in her

40:38

head. The Princess Diana mentioned

40:40

flipped her out. She's trying

40:42

to like tell stories about

40:45

connection to that part of

40:47

the world. And I just

40:49

think that she's never before

40:51

mentioned having a babysitting job.

40:53

And that's odd because she's

40:55

talked a lot about her

40:57

life. She's emitted her father,

40:59

truly. But she's never, all

41:01

of that is so strange

41:03

and I'm going to say...

41:05

Here we go, lean in

41:07

kids. It never happens. What

41:09

a buck! Anyway, I love

41:11

her and as I was

41:13

watching the show, yeah, love

41:15

it. Fascinated with by her.

41:17

Of course. And as also,

41:19

I have to love her

41:22

because while I was watching

41:24

her show, I was roasting

41:26

a chicken. Love that. I

41:28

was dehydrating some pineapple. Why?

41:30

And as you know, I

41:32

was trying to refine my

41:34

homemade beef tallow. I have

41:36

made jam. I basically. There

41:38

we go! Apropos! That is

41:40

the name of your brand!

41:42

Apropos! She has, as ever,

41:44

you have Apropos! Wow, that

41:46

was a good episode of

41:48

True Crime Australia featuring. And

41:50

I'm sorry, did I suck...

41:52

out of your bones. You

41:54

didn't know if I did,

41:56

I'll make bone broth with

41:58

them. It was good for

42:01

a couple of weeks you've

42:03

been asking if you can

42:05

chat about her and we

42:07

had it out and I'm

42:09

happy. Had to. We had

42:11

so much more didn't we?

42:13

Well we can do another.

42:15

No we won't. I'll spend.

42:17

No need a cigarette and

42:19

a lie down. Hey, it's

42:21

time for. Oh. It's a

42:23

text from... Or dad. Oh,

42:25

I love it when dad

42:27

comes along. When you're just

42:29

sneaking dad at the end.

42:31

You know it's a dad.

42:33

And you know what this

42:35

is? What? So people like

42:38

a lab-grown diamond now. But

42:40

as we know, the rarest

42:42

of all are dirt-grown diamonds.

42:44

And even within that subsection,

42:46

the blood diamond. The rarest

42:48

of them all. Buckhead Kim.

42:50

From her dad? From Kim's

42:52

dad. Not only is it

42:54

a message. Right, okay, yeah.

42:56

Not only is it a

42:58

dad message. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

43:00

yeah. It is a handwritten

43:02

text. A handwritten note. Oh,

43:04

I love it. It could

43:06

make me cry. I don't

43:08

think it will, but this

43:10

is how old school this

43:12

dad's texting is. Oh, I

43:14

love it. How did he

43:17

stick it to the front

43:19

door? I'll have to ask

43:21

him. Does he carry drawing

43:23

pins? I don't know because

43:25

I'm not blue tack going,

43:27

I'm not analyzing this like

43:29

it's a meagued under the

43:31

door knocker. Propped under the

43:33

door knocker. Kim's dad left

43:35

this on the door on

43:37

the door. Dearest Kim. Love

43:39

dad. It's a text from

43:41

my dad. I love this.

43:43

A real life physical letter.

43:45

They just, gosh, a good

43:47

dad. I'm always surprised about

43:49

note leavers. No matter what

43:51

the note says. I'm always

43:54

surprised that they have pen

43:56

and paper to do it.

43:58

Very hard now. Do you

44:00

have pen and paper in

44:02

your car? Okay, so I'm

44:04

ostensibly writing a book and

44:06

I don't have. Apparently. I

44:08

don't have pen and paper

44:10

in the car. So often

44:12

I don't have it. Many

44:14

years ago I returned to

44:16

my little Yarris down there

44:18

in South Yarra and someone

44:20

had left the note on

44:22

my wind screen and it

44:24

said, you parked like a

44:26

dick like a dick. I

44:28

don't think it was. Oh,

44:30

maybe it was a house.

44:33

It was outside. It was

44:35

outside. It was outside. Kim's

44:37

dad's got a carrying. Kim's

44:39

left. Kim's dad's got a

44:41

pen and paper in the

44:43

car. Classic dad? Oh, before

44:45

we go, actually. No, I

44:47

did actually very quickly want

44:49

to do this couple more

44:51

minutes. Thank you. I forgot

44:53

to do this last week.

44:55

Oh, what is that sash?

44:57

often will only put the

44:59

same. Same. Same. And you

45:01

really kicked off. It really

45:03

hit a nerve with you.

45:05

Yeah, I'm like, that is

45:07

the greatest idiocy I have

45:09

ever filled up a car.

45:12

And quite frankly, I'm backing

45:14

one car row in after

45:16

another. So just a needle,

45:18

you. I posted that pick

45:20

on the Instagram and go

45:22

and have a look at

45:24

the comments because you are

45:26

not the only one. Oh,

45:28

what are people saying? Why

45:30

does it even round it

45:32

off? Another one, I just

45:34

can't. Another one, how do

45:36

you not round the price

45:38

to even dollar? What was

45:40

it? Just fill it up,

45:42

it's Saturday and you'll be

45:44

back at the server on

45:46

Monday. Yes, yes. It's not

45:49

enough. I mean if that's

45:51

the game you're going to

45:53

play there needs to be

45:55

some rules in place you

45:57

have to land on a

45:59

proper number at the very

46:01

least I eat 10, 20,

46:03

25, yes. You have to,

46:05

and also, because it's refining

46:07

your toggle skills. So, to

46:09

the bookheads, if you ever

46:11

find yourself, the claw machine.

46:13

I really ruined their Saturday.

46:15

They are so upset, I'm

46:17

so sorry. How long did

46:19

that last you? The 25

46:21

bucks? Yeah, like a, I

46:23

don't know, four or five

46:25

days. Yeah, crazy, ridiculous. Ridiculous,

46:28

sash. What a buck. What

46:30

a buck! What about in

46:32

absentia? What about in absentia?

46:34

I'm that too. You know,

46:36

even more so when you're

46:38

here. What about in absentia?

46:40

I'm that too. I just

46:42

met, you know, even more

46:44

so when you're qualified. The

46:46

fact is you love me.

46:48

The Buck Up podcast is

46:50

hosted by me, Kate Langbrook

46:52

and him, Nathan Alvo. It's

46:54

produced by the brilliant Sasha

46:56

French. audio and sound by

46:58

the magnificent yack Lawrence. You

47:00

might call him Jack and

47:02

Dom Evans. Oh we're lucky.