0:00

Hey I'll tell you what, she got the hint though didn't

0:02

she get the hint? Yeah, she's gone. She's gone, she's gone,

0:04

she got the hint. Out of here, yeah, bye bye. And

0:06

it's time. Who are we talking about? Because I walked in

0:08

and you were just saying she got the hint. Godspeed. Is

0:10

that a name? Ah yeah, she's gone us, oh Godspeed. Oh

0:13

hi, Chris Miles, sorry you join us, sorry you join us

0:15

here, as a little preamble to this week, this week's, this

0:17

week's, this week's, this week's, this week's, this week's, this week's,

0:19

this week's, this week's, this week's, this week's, this week's, this

0:21

week's, this week's, this week's, this week's, this week's, this week's,

0:23

this week's, this week's, this week's, this week's, this week, this

0:26

week's, this week's, this week's, this week Do you want to

0:28

do the outro first? No. Uh, no. I don't actually. Thanks

0:30

for listening. Bye. Bye. There you go.

0:32

Chuck that the end. It is Friday

0:35

the 11th of April 2025. I'm Chris

0:37

Miles. Welcome to the podcast. And

0:39

it's another cracking one this week.

0:41

Although, it is Dominic Burn Free.

0:43

I know, there's no Dominic... I

0:46

could find some... Can we speak

0:48

to him? Do you want to

0:50

speak to him? Yes. Okay, then

0:52

you need to speak to old

0:55

frothy-bevy Dominic Byrne. What would you

0:57

like to... Oh, here he. Here

0:59

he comes, he's all yours, James.

1:01

What are you doing, Dom? I

1:03

wear women's clothes. Oh, you're wearing...

1:06

What are you doing? Hello hot

1:08

boys. I'll probably blow it way

1:10

too quickly. No, but what are

1:13

you doing? I like melons. Melons

1:15

for everyone. Okay, different question.

1:17

What have you? And I

1:20

have been stringed. Okay, what

1:22

have you got? Yes. Okay. What's

1:24

wrong with you? This guy loves

1:26

babe station. I know you do.

1:28

I love babe station. I love

1:31

babe station. I love babe station.

1:33

I love babe station. I love babe

1:35

station. I don't want it burn.

1:37

Watch, babe station. I can't get

1:40

it up, Pip. I've just

1:42

wet myself. Okay, why

1:44

have you done that?

1:46

Oily Johnny's. Okay. This

1:48

weekend. In Dominic

1:51

World, what is this weekend? Oh,

1:53

it's lovely. Okay. Do you want

1:56

to? go to the forest. I

1:58

don't want to go to the

2:00

forest now. What are you doing?

2:03

Don't sack in safe hands. Don,

2:05

what are you doing this? I

2:08

mean I love a bit of

2:10

lace next to the skin. No

2:12

I'm not talking about underwear. What

2:15

do you want to do? Me

2:17

in the garden shed. Yeah. What

2:19

are you doing this weekend? What

2:22

are you doing this weekend? It's

2:24

damp pants day. Okay, I'm not

2:27

speaking to do anymore. Okay, put

2:29

your outside swim. Okay. Hello, dumb.

2:31

It's like a bucket, isn't it?

2:34

It's like a bucket. Oh, that

2:36

was you and him. Oh, I

2:38

got what he left on there.

2:41

Or if I'm in a bit

2:43

of a rush, I'll do it

2:46

in the toilets and the second

2:48

floor. Okay, oh that's lovely to

2:50

hear that, Dom. I just popped

2:53

down completely, don't I go... Tuck

2:55

yourself back in from this... Because

2:57

I was playing with it this

3:00

morning off there. You always take

3:02

things monkey. You're playing with what,

3:05

Dom? My Stiffy. Let's leave it

3:07

there. Let's leave it there. Hey!

3:09

A mispronounced mystify. It

3:14

was Keith Duffy from the band

3:16

Boyzo and he was on the

3:19

radio an island and he gets

3:21

his list of songs it's in

3:23

excess Mr. Fye and he goes

3:26

right this is in excess my

3:28

stiffy now he says to this

3:30

day he did it on purpose

3:32

not a chance no way Jose

3:35

if your name is Jose I

3:37

say no way Oh sorry, you're

3:39

not on, sorry. Hello, hello. Hello.

3:41

Just felt like we needed to

3:44

clarify that, should all am here.

3:46

Get your bottom out. Hey, do

3:48

not, do not say that. Come

3:51

now. Oh, I've got the horn.

3:53

Oh, stop it. I like Fudge.

3:55

Okay, that's nice. I've got a

3:57

warm box. What was that? It's

4:00

a good snack, isn't it? Good

4:02

evening. No, don't call James, your

4:04

daddy. What are you doing, Dom?

4:06

My fingers are doing nothing right

4:09

now. Okay, okay, that's fine. You

4:11

know when you're expecting something in

4:13

your mouth and it's not what

4:16

you've got in your mouth at

4:18

the time. Yeah, absolutely. Yes,

4:20

what about it? So they've

4:22

got a big ring. Yeah?

4:24

You have to flick it.

4:26

The posh hotel. You're doing

4:28

it in a posh hotel.

4:30

Just a big beaver. Right.

4:33

Come on the beavers. Right.

4:35

I just don't follow through.

4:37

It's the smell that gets

4:40

you. The smell will get

4:42

you. Yeah, that's that is

4:44

that is true. I can't do

4:47

a trump. You can't do

4:49

a trump. That's wet, isn't

4:51

it? Yeah. When you look

4:53

at pepper, what do you

4:56

think? And when you look

4:58

at Captain, what do you

5:00

think? Down, boy. Wow! And

5:03

when you look at me,

5:05

what do you think? Boobs.

5:07

Oh, that's not nice. Oh,

5:09

come on. That's not nice.

5:12

Well, it's hard. Yeah. Al-a-a-a-a-a-

5:14

Well, it's hard. Al-a-bla-bla-a-bla-a-bla- Yeah.

5:16

But it's just come down

5:19

to a weird noise. Al-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a

5:21

I mean you smell it before you

5:23

see it. Okay. Those are smell ones.

5:25

Mm. I could do in the toilet.

5:28

Let's leave it though. Anyway, so that's

5:30

done when it burned. He's now been

5:32

on the podcast. Right Captain, who's on

5:34

the podcast this week? Hey, who is

5:37

it on the podcast? Who is

5:39

it on the podcast this week?

5:41

Hey, who is it on the

5:43

podcast this week? Who is Edburn?

5:45

Different people. Different guys, different comedians.

5:47

Who else? There you go, that's

5:49

it. Nothing else. Lots of other

5:52

fun stuff though. Oh, some funny

5:54

stuff. Funny stories. What's up so

5:56

good this week, they'll be on

5:59

the podcast. Yeah, they'll be on.

6:01

Simon Conway Newsman. Simon Conway Newsman.

6:03

My favourite is when he didn't

6:05

quite realise you guys were taking

6:08

the mic out of him with

6:10

the James Bonkas. Hey, we were

6:12

not doing no such thing. You'll

6:14

hear that later in the podcast.

6:17

I'm going to keep the intro

6:19

short and crack on because, you

6:21

know, as you know, I've got

6:24

boobs. Yes, I know you do,

6:26

Pepper. Yes, I know you remind

6:28

to remind you. I only like

6:30

a little bit in the bottom.

6:33

Okay, that's lovely. I loved house.

6:35

You what? I loved house. You

6:37

love nuts? Do you like nuts?

6:39

Yeah, I like notes. I loved

6:42

house. Okay, that's, that's lovely. What

6:44

about boobes? I've got boobes? Yeah,

6:46

yes you do. That's nice, that's

6:48

lovely. I've had loads of plums.

6:51

You've had loads of plums. Okay,

6:53

alright. If you had an extra

6:55

finger, it's very different. Let's move

6:58

on. Ladies and gentlemen, here come

7:00

the best bits of the week.

7:02

It's the Christmas show on Radio

7:04

X podcast. Turn it up, Captain!

7:16

You know, I'm back at the dentist

7:18

again, so... for round two. Are you

7:20

gonna have you? You're saying whatever it

7:22

is? What, my sedation? Too bloody right.

7:24

Yeah. Too right. I'm away with the

7:26

fairies. If Tiff's away, do you need

7:28

picked up this time? Yeah. Do you

7:30

want me to come up? No. I

7:32

can, I'm free. I haven't said when

7:34

it is. Well, I am and you're

7:36

very busy. You got all the things

7:38

off. What's a busy day for you?

7:40

Like what day the week? Monday is

7:42

busy. Yeah, it's Monday. It's not today

7:44

though you get it done. It's yeah.

7:46

No, it's not. Today, wow. I think

7:48

they've just text me now. You said

7:50

it was coming up today. Oh. Yeah,

7:52

covered up. Let me just have a

7:54

check. What's a bad time for you.

7:56

What's a bad time for you. What's

7:59

a bad time for you. What's a

8:01

bad time for you. Oh, like, half

8:03

one's like, oh, you're joking. Oh, yeah.

8:05

Oh, is it? What are the

8:07

chances? I can move

8:09

stuff. It's next week,

8:11

actually. Oh, on one

8:14

day. Just don't worry

8:16

about it. Listen. It's

8:18

fine. James would come,

8:20

you know that. I know

8:22

it would. Pick you up.

8:25

I might film it, Michael.

8:27

Michael. James would film it.

8:29

Yeah. Yeah. My friend Nick.

8:31

Very very busy man. Very

8:33

very busy man. Very powerful man.

8:36

Big in the game. He's heard

8:38

me talking about these action figure

8:40

AI photos. And so he's rather

8:43

than going to the boardroom and

8:45

have a big power meeting today

8:47

and find out what the numbers

8:50

are from China. Well then. He's

8:52

sat there and made an action

8:55

figure with my face on it.

8:57

It's pretty good. Yeah. It's pretty

8:59

good. I look very good for

9:02

a 62-year-old. Okay. We'll take that.

9:04

So I'm just sending a picture of

9:06

me where I look a lot younger.

9:08

And I've gone, yeah, can you use

9:10

this one instead? Not that I'm vain

9:12

of anything, but you know, you want

9:14

to look good in your action figure?

9:16

What's the bits and bobs around you? Well,

9:19

yeah, I've got a photo for you. James,

9:21

I've sent it to James. You'd have thought

9:23

he'd picked up on me building this up

9:26

so he could put it on the screen

9:28

for you. I'm making another one as well.

9:30

Okay, all right. You tell me when it's

9:32

ready and I'll do a big reveal on

9:35

the screen in the studio of Chris Miles

9:37

Action Figure. I'm gonna get some

9:39

headphones. Right. Microphone. Microphone. Yeah.

9:42

You guys are so unpredictable.

9:44

Something Star Wars-E. Here

9:46

it is on the screen now.

9:49

This is the Chris Boyle's DJ

9:51

legend action figure. Oh yeah. That's

9:53

great. Les United's scarf. Some DJ

9:56

decks. And for some reason, two

9:58

microphones. I've got. know what I'd say

10:00

wouldn't want to mess with you you look

10:03

quite like hard do

10:05

you think I think I

10:07

look I think I

10:09

look like a good looking

10:11

62 year old man

10:13

yeah I'd say that you look

10:15

like you've you look after

10:17

yourself thank you yeah so it's

10:19

quite accurate is what

10:21

you're saying no no

10:24

the

10:27

metal detector thing on the left yes

10:29

it looks like a metal because

10:31

I look old I think it's like

10:33

a walking stick I think it's

10:35

like a microphone or something you spend

10:37

the weekends on the beach yes

10:39

I do yeah scroll to the bottom

10:42

James let's see what's on

10:44

the broken yeah well it

10:46

does look some like some

10:48

sort of stick it's a

10:50

microphone stand you've done pepper

10:52

I mean you've made an

10:54

action figure of pepper oh

10:56

and you've you've called it

10:59

figure it's not quite now

11:04

James talk to me about AI

11:07

you uploaded a photograph of pepper yeah

11:09

and then that genuinely now doesn't

11:11

even look AI it looks like a

11:13

photograph but of another woman yeah

11:15

who looks like a little bit like

11:17

someone who's entered a lookalike competition

11:19

like it's like AI isn't clever enough

11:21

to go well I'll use the

11:24

actual photo you just give it me

11:26

yeah rather than go I'll make

11:28

it look like this photo we'll just

11:30

use the photo leave this with

11:32

me yeah take you from here there's

11:34

one long tooth in it what I

11:36

wonder why I'm smiling at me Oh

11:39

yeah, right there, snag a

11:41

cross. It's my lot, too! Why

11:43

has it done that? This

11:45

is the Chris Moyle Show podcast.

11:49

yeah good morning Viv hello

11:52

Chris hello Viv is it

11:54

short for Vivian hi it is

11:56

short for Vivian yes but you don't like

11:58

being called Vivian I don't mind

12:01

being called Vivian. I answered

12:03

to anything really. Great, well

12:05

we were talking to me

12:08

to be, aren't Sarah? Bob?

12:10

Wayne? Okay, well Viv, I've,

12:12

I've got a Viv, if you

12:14

want, I'll call you Viv, right.

12:17

We're going to play a game

12:19

and hopefully you can win some

12:21

money. Yes, that would be

12:24

lovely. I can't believe

12:26

I've got through. Well

12:29

you have got through

12:32

and you're going

12:34

to play the game.

12:37

Okay. Okay. Twenty

12:40

seconds on the clock.

12:42

Give me the name

12:44

of this song. Start

12:47

the clock. Look at

12:49

you! Look at you!

12:51

Look at you! They're your

12:54

favorites! Yeah. Seven point

12:56

seven five seconds. That's what

12:58

it took you. Okay. All

13:00

right. Listen, here's the thing.

13:02

You've now got a thousand

13:04

pound on the table. You

13:07

have 12.25 seconds. You've got

13:09

12.25 seconds. You've got

13:11

12 and a quarter seconds

13:14

left, which is longer than

13:16

it took you to get

13:18

the last one. You've got

13:20

more time. Okay? Now, your choices

13:22

are, A, Chris, give me a thousand

13:24

pound, I'm out, I'm bailing, that's

13:27

a thousand pound, thank you very

13:29

much. Or, number two, you play

13:31

on, because you've got 12.25

13:33

seconds left. If that clock

13:35

hit zero, and you haven't

13:38

given me the name of the

13:40

next song, you'll lose your

13:42

thousand pound. However, if you do

13:44

know the next song, I'll turn

13:46

you one thousand and two thousand.

13:49

Okay. So it is absolutely up to

13:51

you whatever you want to do?

13:53

I'm going to play on Chris.

13:55

You're going to play on? Are you sure?

13:57

Yeah, I'm going to have a go. Yeah.

14:01

I really hope you

14:03

get this. I really

14:05

really hope you get

14:08

it. I am rooting

14:10

for you. Listen. Thank

14:12

you. Let's just do

14:14

exactly what we just

14:17

did. All right? I

14:19

play the song. You

14:21

know it. You say

14:24

the name of it.

14:26

I stop the clock.

14:28

And give you some

14:30

money. Right? You've got

14:33

this. Okay. and 12.25

14:35

seconds left on the

14:37

clock. Just give me

14:40

the name of this

14:42

song. Start the clock.

14:44

Don't speak! Stop the

14:46

clock! Yeah, well done.

14:49

I just couldn't, I

14:51

just couldn't, I just

14:53

couldn't think. Vivi did

14:56

that in less than

14:58

three seconds. Yeah, brilliant,

15:00

thank you. You now

15:02

have two thousand pound

15:05

on the table and

15:07

you've got exactly the

15:09

same decision to make,

15:12

but it starts to

15:14

get a bit more

15:16

serious. You have two

15:18

thousand pound on the

15:21

table. You have nine

15:23

and a half seconds

15:25

left. If

15:27

you decide to take your 2,000

15:30

pound, finish the game there, well

15:32

done, you've beaten it, you've got

15:34

2,000 pounds. Or, you play on,

15:37

you risk your 2,000, because you

15:39

have nine and a half seconds

15:41

left. If you get to zero,

15:44

tell me the name of the

15:46

song, you lose your money. I'm

15:49

going to play on Chris. Go

15:51

on, Viv. Come on, Viv. Are

15:53

you sure? Yeah, come on. All

15:56

right, this is a lot of

15:58

money. This is 5,000. pound. Okay.

16:00

Right. You've got this. You've

16:02

got this. You know your music.

16:05

You've got it. Okay? I've got

16:07

it. Yeah. You've got it. Five

16:09

thousand pound. Give me the name

16:11

of the song. Best of luck. Start

16:14

the clock. Oh

16:35

no, it was too late wasn't

16:37

I? You were just a

16:40

smidging too late. Oh my

16:42

god. Ohhh. Viv! So Dom's

16:44

not here today. Right. So

16:46

sorry about this but you've

16:49

got my dulcet tones.

16:51

So one thing I've

16:53

noticed in Dom's letter

16:55

collection is that he

16:57

stopped saying on air

16:59

when he's been sent

17:01

booby stuff. Oh. see he's been

17:04

heavily missing it out so because

17:06

you know he's got quite the collection

17:08

of yes he's got a lot of

17:10

boobes stuff in the cupboard I was

17:13

having a little rifle through stress

17:15

balls pillows slippers oh how lovely

17:17

so anyway yeah hasn't got a

17:19

letter with it so I don't

17:21

even know who sent this in

17:23

but but someone said in inflatable

17:26

boobes and it's like a bra

17:28

it looks like a bra that

17:30

you can blow up and then

17:32

where like a bra He's not

17:34

opened it. So James, you blow

17:36

those up. Thank you. Let me

17:38

just check that there's nothing in

17:41

here. Oh, it's like an

17:43

actual bikini top. Yeah. Right.

17:45

There's like there's nothing in

17:48

there. It's just that. So

17:50

that's a little bikini top.

17:52

So we've got something else

17:55

for the boob collection. I'll

17:57

blow the left one first.

18:00

through your jumper you're wearing today. Talk to

18:02

me about that. A little fleece. Yeah. A

18:04

clothes fleece. Yeah. Talk to me through it.

18:06

Is that an old classic? Is that a

18:08

favorite of yours? It's new, but it's a

18:10

new favorite. Yeah. New issue. Why did he

18:12

go for that color? Oh. No, no, no.

18:14

That's nothing wrong with that question. What color

18:16

would you call it? Yeah. Well,

18:19

you know I'm partly color blind,

18:21

but now, if you want me to

18:23

tell you the truth. Yeah. The

18:25

question was what color would I call

18:27

it? I'd call it exactly the

18:29

same color as Pippa's water bottle. Okay.

18:31

Yeah. So that's a light pink.

18:33

Yeah, light pink. Salmon. Light

18:36

pink. Yeah. If you had salmon

18:38

served that color, you'd send it back.

18:40

Well, maybe. Well, cooked salmon goes

18:42

very light. So maybe a cooked flaky

18:44

salmon. You look like a cooked

18:47

flaky salmon. I like this jumper, actually.

18:49

It's nice. Nothing wrong with cooked

18:51

flaky salmon. Can you just hold Pippa's

18:53

water, oh my God, you're the

18:55

same color as Pippa's water bottles and

18:57

the inflatable boobs don't get sent

18:59

in. Oh, they've gone missing. Where are

19:02

they? They're

19:04

literally hidden on your person.

19:06

I mean, yeah, it's a bit

19:08

fleshy this jumper, isn't it?

19:10

Actually, they are exactly the same

19:12

color, aren't they? As the

19:15

boobs, the inflatable boobs that you're

19:17

now wearing. Oh, wow. Hello,

19:19

ladies. Jubbly, jubbly. You are hot.

19:21

I feel hot. Shall we

19:23

to do them up? Goosey migs,

19:25

dirt. Yeah, they're a

19:27

bit. Wear them all

19:29

day. See, now, they're not sitting right, they? Now, put

19:31

your hand on them boobs. Yeah. Right, feel the weight

19:33

of them. Right, welcome to my world. feel weird doing that.

19:35

This is what I've got. The action you asked me

19:37

to do, I feel weird doing it. This is what

19:39

I've got. It's awful

19:42

having boobs. You don't have boobs. I've got

19:44

boobs. I don't like them. I don't like

19:46

them. I want to get them chopped off.

19:48

I might take this off, actually. Why? What?

19:55

This isn't

19:58

right. Do

20:00

you know what I'm gonna say? I'm gonna

20:02

stop the news tingle now. Simon's gonna

20:04

have to wait. I'm looking at

20:07

something on the website for Captain

20:09

Crappedbeard. The news tingle starts playing

20:11

and he goes, that's the news. News.

20:13

News. I'm like, yeah, I know what

20:15

the news tingle sounds like. We've been,

20:17

it's been the same one for nine

20:19

and a half years. Chris, it's news

20:21

time. Before the break I went,

20:24

Simon Conway's got the news next. And

20:26

then you, what do you think I

20:28

just forget I just forget. He might

20:30

not have. You jiggles playing,

20:32

I'm just sitting here on

20:35

the internet. Oh, look at

20:37

that. Oh, that's fine. Yeah,

20:39

look. Why is everyone looking

20:41

at me? Chris, the news.

20:43

Oh, yeah, the news. Yeah,

20:46

I just totally forgot, because

20:48

we only do it on

20:50

the hour every hour for nine

20:52

and a half years. Yes, but

20:54

there has been sometimes. Well we've

20:57

missed the end of songs because

20:59

we weren't all paying attention. We're

21:01

not talking about the end of

21:03

songs because I'm about the news. It's

21:06

sort of the same energy though isn't

21:08

it? Same sort of? Just own it,

21:10

just go. Just say you're right Chris,

21:12

I'm an idiot. It's the best job

21:14

I've ever had, I'm just grateful

21:16

to be in your presence. Well some

21:18

of that's true but I'm not telling

21:20

you I'm an idiot. But you

21:22

know, we'll still get

21:25

everything. We'll still get

21:27

it. I was buying you

21:29

a t-shirt as well, you

21:32

ungrateful, get it. Come out

21:34

for a bit of dinner

21:36

on Friday, lovely. We were

21:39

there, a good friend of

21:41

mine, lovely, I can't wait.

21:43

I just get a message.

21:46

I get a voice and

21:48

message. And they're blowing

21:51

me out. Oh yeah. The Blow

21:53

Me Out! Now! This

21:55

has been rescheduled

21:58

from the... time that

22:00

blew me out. Now I could

22:02

hear your stomach there crowling. It

22:05

was the back of my throat.

22:07

Oh I mean I'm angry about

22:09

it too. Crowling. And they send

22:11

me a message during the show.

22:14

So now I'm I'm like well

22:16

what would you've written? You've twice

22:18

now you've done this. useless. Oh,

22:20

that's a shame. Oh, sorry about

22:22

it. Oh, it's just I'm working

22:25

and there's that, well, why are

22:27

you working? Why did you agree

22:29

to the date in the first

22:31

place? What's wrong with these people?

22:33

And I booked a place which

22:36

is rock hard to get into,

22:38

which I booked last time, and

22:40

then we had to go, hi,

22:42

you did it as a solidine,

22:44

you got as a table, when

22:47

you were like massively booked up

22:49

and everything, but you didn't, yeah,

22:51

because, can we, can we, can

22:53

we, can we move it, we

22:56

move it, What's your name? Shame,

22:58

that's what I should do. It's

23:00

only two days out, it's very

23:02

scary, I'm working. We're all bloody

23:04

working! I think he's taking it

23:07

well. Do you know what? I'm

23:09

going to send him a voice

23:11

message. That's what I'm going to

23:13

do. Okay. Because they sent me

23:15

a voice message. I'm going to

23:18

send them a voice message. Hello,

23:20

right you. It's me. First of

23:22

all, blow me out again. That's

23:24

twice now. Secondly, you do it

23:26

during the show, thinking that I

23:29

can't reply. Well, I'm on the

23:31

air now, and I'm sending this

23:33

now. I'm on the air, I'm

23:35

on the radio live, blowing you

23:38

out. And as I'm, no, not

23:40

blowing you out, calling you out.

23:42

And you blew me, you blew

23:44

me, you blew me, you blew

23:46

me, you blew me, and I'm

23:49

calling you, blew you out again.

23:51

Bad, hashtag bad friends. She's probably

23:53

put that I've not read it

23:55

yet. So anyway, that's it. I'm

23:57

not named you. I've not said

24:00

who you are on the air,

24:02

but all my listeners know that

24:04

my friend, aka you, bad friend.

24:06

Oh, I'm sorry. It turns out

24:08

I'm working. Turns out I'm working.

24:11

Did you have a diary? It's

24:13

not like my aona. I'm very

24:15

annoyed. I'm very annoyed with you.

24:17

So you owe me big time.

24:20

Big, bigly, huge, huge, huge, like

24:22

Donald Trump, hand, no, he's got

24:24

small hands, you owe me, and

24:26

yes, that's right, I know you're

24:28

busy, so I'm leaving a really

24:31

long audio note that you have

24:33

to listen to, and don't even

24:35

try and read the transcribed version

24:37

of it, because of limits, the

24:39

lemonade, lemonade, and it won't make

24:42

any sense. Anyway, you send me

24:44

dates when you're free, which is

24:46

what you did last time, but

24:48

you're not free, are you, are

24:50

you, Do you know how hard

24:53

it is to get at the

24:55

place that I booked? Thank goodness

24:57

I'm famous. Lots of love. That

24:59

said. We might have got the

25:02

booking because you're more famous than

25:04

me, but that doesn't matter. I

25:06

still made the effort while my

25:08

assistant did. Anyway, get back to

25:10

me. Have a nice day. Goodbye.

25:13

Lots of love, love to the

25:15

family. See you. I'm like, I'm

25:17

like, hear it. You've got the

25:19

love I need to see me

25:21

through. Oh God's sake. So here

25:24

it is. There you are. Florence

25:26

is probably tuning to radio. I'm

25:28

going, oh maybe to stop doing

25:30

it now. No. Good

25:39

morning. Nothing can go

25:41

wrong because I'm here.

25:43

I've forgotten. I've forgotten.

25:45

Oh, it was rubbish.

25:47

And now you brought

25:49

it up, but we've

25:51

forgotten. So you could

25:53

have got away with

25:55

it. Yeah, I slept

25:57

in. I was doing

25:59

it by Zoom. My

26:02

alarm didn't go off.

26:04

And then even then,

26:06

come on late, me,

26:08

microphone didn't work. And

26:10

it was rubbish. And

26:12

it was so rubbish.

26:14

At one point, you

26:16

even asked me the

26:18

question. So what makes

26:20

you laugh? Really? Really?

26:22

That's how bad this

26:24

is going. You've asked

26:26

the comedian what makes

26:28

you laugh. After I came

26:30

out of air, I just thought that

26:33

is why he was he gets the

26:35

big books. Because if that had been

26:37

me, I'd have sworn. I would have

26:39

within 30 seconds of the, oh no,

26:41

he's on, and the microphone doesn't even

26:43

work. I would have absolutely have turned

26:45

the air blue. Here we are now

26:47

in person, and nothing can go wrong.

26:50

No elsewhere, and then we'll all of

26:52

you draw. No. There's nothing. I

26:54

tell you the story. I bumped into

26:56

Michael McIntyre during lockdown. How hard did

26:58

you bump into? Very hard. And he

27:00

fell into the road. He died. Oh

27:02

wow! And I brought him back to

27:04

life. So he owes me. And uh...

27:06

We just went for a walk and

27:08

we're walking down this road and he's

27:10

walking towards me and as he gets

27:12

closer he's literally away with the fairies

27:14

like just you know minding his own

27:16

business and I went Michael and he

27:18

went hello oh my god it's you

27:20

oh hi oh my god how are

27:22

you oh god you know I was at home

27:25

the other day and I was thinking I don't

27:27

think I've ever spent this much time at home

27:29

because it's weird because when you don't really think

27:31

about it and blah blah and I just thought

27:33

You haven't been out of the house or

27:35

seen anybody but your family, have you? He's

27:38

trying out material on you. Literally. I

27:40

found that... I just when I had

27:42

kids. We had two kids quite quickly

27:44

together and then you just, you're in

27:46

your own little lockdown sort of thing

27:48

and you realize that you haven't spoken

27:51

to anybody, you know, adult in days

27:53

and you're just suddenly giving your life

27:55

story to somebody and they're just trying

27:57

to get you to change your gas

27:59

supplier. Don't go! Don't go! Don't go!

28:01

How old are the kids? 14 and

28:03

12. My 12-year-old is downstairs right now.

28:05

We've just, we just came off the

28:08

sleeper train from Scotland. See, we were

28:10

talking about this. Now I've been hiking

28:12

for a couple of days. Oh, lovely.

28:14

I've done the sleeper train, like, from

28:16

the South Coast up to London, but

28:18

I've not done, you did the, you

28:20

did the, the, the, yeah, we, we,

28:22

we got offered to... a stop called

28:24

Coror. It's the train spotting train station,

28:26

you know, where they get off in

28:28

the middle of nowhere in the film,

28:30

the train spotting. I'm going to go

28:32

for a walk. Yeah, yeah, we just

28:34

hiked around the, did a couple of

28:36

hills, a couple of Monroe's, hiked out.

28:38

For how long are you hiking? Camped.

28:40

I mean, we spent the day yesterday

28:42

and the day before, yeah, like we

28:45

were probably hiking. eight hours of the

28:47

day. And then do you, where do

28:49

you sleep? Camped. So are you and

28:51

your son and are you in a

28:53

tent each? You're sharing a tent? Oh

28:55

God, no we're sharing a tent. Right.

28:57

Yeah. And then and then we get

28:59

the train back and watch episodes of

29:01

Cobra Kai on my phone. It was

29:03

probably, that was probably the best bit

29:05

for him if I'm honest with you.

29:07

We went to, you've been to car

29:09

fest, you're going to care fest here?

29:11

Right. Stuff like that. That's cool. And

29:13

I'm like, you know, you know the,

29:15

you know the guy from Death in

29:17

Paradise? Like that's the shows my kids

29:19

love. I know all the detectives from

29:22

Deaf Paradise. Like I've hung out with

29:24

all of them over the years. And

29:26

that just blows my kids. Yeah, no,

29:28

we've totally hung out. Yeah, you should,

29:30

you should, you should, that's a, that's

29:32

a way to make your kids think

29:34

you're, you know, you know, cooler than

29:36

you are. people that they're like oh

29:38

my god you know them yeah that's

29:40

a cool thing yeah so I'm still

29:42

managing to be cool ish oh dad

29:44

if you're that cool how come you

29:46

weren't on last one laughing the iris

29:48

person like everybody was on that did

29:50

they ask you to do it no

29:52

didn't last rude but there's another one

29:54

won't I mean I would guess.

29:56

Yeah. No, it

29:59

hasn't been mooted. Would

30:01

you be good

30:03

on it? No,

30:06

I actually wouldn't. I brewed pretty early, I

30:08

reckon. Although I have to say, it's one

30:10

thing to put me off the idea anyway.

30:12

I met the woman who won the Australian

30:14

one, which I think was the first one.

30:16

Right. And she said she got a lot

30:18

of hate mail. She got a lot of

30:20

hate online for being quote unquote a miserable

30:22

cow. Because she had, she was stony -faced

30:24

the whole time. I love to laugh. Which

30:26

is the whole point of the show. Maybe

30:28

the game. Sounds like those people didn't get

30:30

the show. Well, and I remember thinking that.

30:32

I think, well, if I ever get asked

30:34

to do that, I think I'll just say

30:36

no, because I don't want to get accused

30:38

of being a stony -faced, you know, miserable. Have

30:40

you seen much of it? Well,

30:43

I'm on Instagram, so it's constantly

30:45

thrown into my feed. I

30:49

think Bob Mortimer would be the one

30:51

that would absolutely send me. I was to

30:53

say that. would be difficult. But I

30:55

think just being in a room with Bob

30:57

Mortimer, I mean, I go, I remember

30:59

years ago when I was an open -micer,

31:01

I was playing a club called Up the

31:03

Creek, down in Greenwich. And I was

31:05

talking to the owner, Malcolm Hardy, no longer

31:07

with us. And I had just done

31:09

five minutes and it had gone pretty well.

31:13

And I was all new and I was excited

31:15

and stuff like that. And he says, you live

31:17

in Camberwell, don't you? And I said, yeah, he

31:19

says, Bob Mortimer lives there. And

31:21

I think he's just making conversations. says, yeah. And

31:23

then he goes, no, but Bob Mortimer's got a

31:25

cab there now. And he was suggesting I share

31:28

a cab with Bob Mortimer. And I was like,

31:30

I brand new open. I went, yeah, okay, then.

31:32

And I just, and I'm an open -micer and

31:34

I was sharing a cab back to Camberwell with

31:36

Bob Mortimer. And it was just amazing. It was

31:38

like just being, it was like being in the

31:40

telly. And even, and the urge to want to

31:42

repeat everything he said, like when the cab arrived,

31:44

I was, I think this is our cab, I

31:46

think this is our cab thing. You know, I, it

31:50

was, I was incredibly starstruck the first

31:53

time I met him. So, I think

31:55

he'd been somebody who I would have

31:57

struggled with just being around. I met,

31:59

I met fucking Bob. when they were doing a book

32:01

signing for the smell of reams and mortimer. Oh yeah. And I brought the

32:03

book for them to sign, it's a book signing and either, it was either

32:05

Jim or Bob Turner, it looked to me and went, have we met before?

32:07

And I went, no, but I'm sure it's only a matter of time now.

32:09

And they went, and they went, right, okay? And I was just like, why

32:12

did I even, why did I even speak? I should have just, just shaking,

32:14

just shaking, just shaking my head, shaking, shaking my head, shaking my head,

32:16

shaking my head, shaking my head, shaking my head, shaking

32:18

my head, shaking my head, shaking my head, shaking my

32:20

head, shaking my head, shaking my head, shaking my head,

32:22

shaking my head, shaking, shaking, shaking, shaking, shaking, shaking, shaking,

32:24

shaking, shaking, shaking, shaking, shaking, shaking, shaking, shaking, shaking, shaking,

32:26

shaking, shaking, shaking, shaking, shaking, shaking, shaking, off the

32:28

wall is so weird that to

32:30

try and be funny on their

32:33

wavelength at them, you're just always

32:35

going to be on a hide-in-ton-uthen

32:37

action. When I was introduced about

32:39

Mortimer, I said, hello, that was

32:41

very charming. In other words, he

32:43

didn't think I was funny, he

32:46

slices. What do you do when

32:48

you say it? What do you

32:50

think of the comedian? Charming. Yeah,

32:52

who else is on the, who

32:54

else is on the list of

32:56

people that you don't want to

32:59

be in the room if you

33:01

if you're not allowed to laugh?

33:03

Uh, Lee Mac is somebody

33:05

who sends me. Yeah, yeah,

33:08

he's very funny. Yeah. Yeah,

33:10

no, that's it. Everyone else

33:13

is rubbish about for me.

33:15

By who would you as be?

33:17

Oh. Sean Locke was somebody like

33:20

that I have to say. Sean

33:22

Locke was everlessly funny off stage

33:24

and on you know. So Peter

33:26

Kay once called me and I

33:28

found this very, he rang me

33:30

once and he said, how are you?

33:33

I said, I'm good, how are you? And he goes, yeah,

33:35

I'm in the bath, and I'm listening to Tappau, Bridge of

33:37

Spies. China, and he hands on now, and I just heard

33:39

heart and soul, and I think I remember you said you

33:41

once liked Tappau, and I went, I do like to Bau,

33:43

yeah, and he went, yeah, anyway, tara, and he put the

33:45

phone down. I think I'd respect more if he wasn't in

33:47

the bath, nor was he listening to T' listening to Tippau,

33:49

nor was listening to Tippau, or was listening to Tippau, listening

33:51

to Tippau, to Tippau, or was listening to Tippau, listening to

33:53

Tippau, or was listening to Tippau, listening to Tippau, to Tippau,

33:55

and he listening to Tippau, and he listening to Tippau, to

33:57

Tippau, and he listening to Tippau, to Tippau, and he, and

33:59

he I like to imagine him in

34:01

the bathroom. And he was, and he

34:04

immediately thought of you. I like to

34:06

think he was rolling dice and he's

34:08

got all these things written on on

34:10

these dice at home. It's various celebrities,

34:13

various activities, activities and music. Oh, now

34:15

I've got to, now I've got to

34:17

ring Johnny Vaughn and tell him I'm

34:19

riding a bike while listening to a

34:21

podcast. I don't know if you know

34:24

about this, there's no reason why you

34:26

should. And we were doing, like. Revelation's

34:28

Confessions bit on the show the other

34:30

week and James had a great one.

34:33

Oh yeah. And he, have we got

34:35

the video of it? There we go.

34:37

I accidentally booked the wrong guest once

34:39

and then just rolled with it. I

34:42

booked. On the show? Yeah. I booked

34:44

the wrong guest. I booked Jason Byrne

34:46

because I thought it was Ed Byrne

34:48

and then mixed up my comedians

34:51

and then just went with

34:53

it. I know. So we once had

34:55

Jason Byrne on the show? Yes.

34:57

Because you thought he was Ed

35:00

Byrne? Yes. When did... I watched

35:02

loads of videos of Mop the

35:04

Week to prepare and then Jason

35:06

turned up. I was like, hello. They

35:08

can be tricking. Could that edit?

35:10

Yeah, yeah. Because I had a

35:13

similar thing with FHM and Jason

35:15

Byrne. FHM to put... a few

35:17

years ago they put all their

35:19

old stuff online. And they... They

35:21

tagged me in, I think, on

35:24

Twitter or whatever it was, interview

35:26

with Ed Byrne. And it was,

35:28

I started reading, I go, and

35:30

I do not remember doing the

35:33

interview. And then it got

35:35

to a bit where you mentioned

35:37

being ginger in the interview, and

35:39

I go, this isn't me. This

35:42

is, this is Jason Byrne. And

35:44

so I wrote back, except I

35:46

didn't do this interview. And then

35:48

they posted back. a picture

35:50

from the original magazine

35:53

with my photograph. I

35:55

go, it certainly looks like you.

35:57

And I go, yeah, but. All

36:00

you've done is show that

36:02

you've also made the mistake

36:04

in print. Like they'd obviously

36:06

done it and it hit

36:08

the shelves in a print

36:10

magazine. And in the interview

36:13

they had done with Jason

36:15

Byrne, obviously over the phone,

36:17

and then put my name

36:19

and my photograph on it.

36:21

and said it was a

36:23

new headburn, but literally the

36:26

only thing that puts a

36:28

gut made is what a

36:30

days the late 90s mind.

36:32

Or you know what he

36:34

must have been for me,

36:36

is that I did not

36:39

realize it wasn't me until

36:41

I got to the bit

36:43

where I apparently said I

36:45

was ginger. Well shame on

36:47

F HM for not knowing

36:49

who you were. We just

36:52

don't know who Jason Bird

36:54

is or you rather. And

36:56

I didn't write that article

36:58

in FHEM is very different.

37:00

At least it was that

37:02

way around. Ed has still

37:05

got a couple of dates

37:07

left of his extended tour

37:09

of Tragedy Plus Time. And

37:11

now I'm going to be

37:13

recording it at the Bloomsies

37:15

Theatre on the 10th of

37:17

May. And it needs to

37:20

be full. Help me! Ex-F-M

37:22

listeners. Radio X. Not but

37:24

you called X-F-M for nine

37:26

and a half years. Get

37:28

a grip, Jason! Radio X.

37:30

Very sorry. Look, I even

37:33

wore green. It is, it's

37:35

just radio X everywhere. Even

37:37

of the microphone in front

37:39

of you. You're up to

37:41

you. You're up to you.

37:43

You're up. This is the

37:46

Chris Moyle Show podcast. And

37:48

we go, no, no, no,

37:50

no, no, 19. Let's just

37:52

see. There we go. No,

37:54

no, no, no, no, no,

37:56

no, no, no, no, no,

37:59

no, no, no, no, no,

38:01

no, no, no, no, no,

38:03

no, no, no. Hey guys,

38:05

thanks happen to me!

38:08

There you are, Captain

38:10

Crappid, your own furry

38:13

own song, lovely, I'm

38:15

ready, I'm ready, I'm

38:18

going, hey guys, hey,

38:20

hey, hey, hey, hey,

38:23

hey, hey, hey, hey,

38:25

hey, hey, guys, hey,

38:28

hey, hey, hey, hey,

38:30

guys, hey, hey, hey,

38:32

hey, guys, hey, hey, hey, hey, guys, hey,

38:35

hey, hey, guys, hey, hey, hey, guys, hey,

38:37

hey, hey, hey, hey guys, hey, hey, hey,

38:39

hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,

38:41

hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,

38:43

hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,

38:45

hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,

38:47

hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,

38:49

hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,

38:51

hey, hey, hey, hey Josh, good morning Josh.

38:54

All you got to do is tell me

38:56

the name of this song.

38:58

I'm good. Thank you. Where

39:01

are you from, mate? How

39:03

is that? All in fact?

39:05

Oh, yeah. Love it, mate.

39:07

20 seconds on the clock.

39:10

All you got to do

39:12

is tell me the name

39:14

of this song. For a

39:16

thousand pounds. Start

39:18

the clock. You

39:21

have 11.7 seconds left

39:24

on the clock. You

39:26

have 11 seconds left.

39:28

You have 11.7 seconds

39:31

left on the clock.

39:33

Okay. Now if you want

39:35

to. You have 11.7

39:37

seconds left on the

39:39

clock. Okay. Now if you

39:42

want to, you can go

39:44

to song number 2. If

39:46

you get song number

39:48

2. We'll double that one thousand

39:50

give you two thousand pound.

39:52

Uh, we'll play on, go on, give

39:54

it another go. Right, best of it,

39:56

Josh. Oh, come on. Best of all

39:59

that really hope. you gonna know this

40:01

okay for 2,000 pound give me

40:03

the name of this song start

40:05

the clock Josh Josh Josh

40:07

Josh Josh Josh Josh Josh Josh

40:10

Josh Josh Josh Josh Josh Josh

40:12

Josh Josh Josh Josh Josh Josh

40:14

Josh Josh Josh Josh Josh Josh

40:17

Josh! Now you said it more

40:19

of a question than anything else.

40:21

Yeah I was doubting myself but

40:23

I thought it sounds like it

40:25

sounds like it's out there. and

40:28

you were right you were absolutely

40:30

right well done two thousand pounds

40:32

on the table now we're getting

40:34

into serious territory this is now

40:36

this is a bigger decision than

40:39

the last one okay yeah six

40:41

point seven one seconds left if

40:43

you get it right we make you

40:45

two thousand into five thousand

40:47

so this is a huge decision you've

40:50

got two grand on the table you

40:52

can turn that into five grand or

40:54

you lose it or you lose it or

40:56

you lose it Or take the money,

40:58

2,000 pound, yours in the

41:01

bank. It's up to you. I'm

41:03

going to take the money. 2,000

41:05

pounds, a lot of money, so

41:07

I'll check it. I'll check it.

41:09

Would you like to say one?

41:11

Would you like to read the

41:13

weather with a pitch effect on

41:16

your voice that either makes

41:18

you higher or lower than

41:20

your actual range? Sounds like

41:22

fun? Do you want to

41:24

go higher or lower? It

41:26

sounds like Bruce Forsyth now.

41:28

Uh, higher, let's do higher,

41:30

okay. Weather. With eBay, find

41:32

the right part at the

41:34

right price to get your

41:36

vehicle, M-O-T, ready. Right and

41:38

sunny again, for much of

41:40

the UK, Claudia in the

41:43

far northeast and a high

41:45

at 17. From Global's newsroom,

41:47

for Radio X. I'm Simon

41:49

Conway. You enjoy reading the news

41:51

this morning with us? Does it also

41:54

give a northern accent? Well, I'm not

41:56

from the north at all, but that's

41:58

giving me a northern accent. uh

42:00

that's it oh that's Wang

42:02

does he sound northern

42:04

to you I mean it

42:06

shouldn't do no no

42:08

no no you definitely haven't

42:10

I haven't noticed it

42:12

myself Simon I can't him

42:14

maybe some more no

42:16

I think you I think

42:18

he sounds southern as

42:20

you normally do maybe just

42:22

me hello why do

42:24

I sound southern oh sorry

42:26

I don't think the is

42:35

very different anyway see

42:37

what fun see what fun

42:39

you have here you

42:41

don't get it elsewhere you

42:44

don't get it elsewhere

42:46

do you you heard their

42:48

pepper laugh

43:18

oh my lord

43:21

Simon he's you

43:23

know you don't

43:26

try and talk

43:28

deep hello hello

43:30

hello hello and

43:33

peppa that's a

43:35

normal everybody hey

43:37

what happened there

43:40

wasn't there when

43:42

Kevin arrived we

43:45

love Kevin we

43:47

love Kevin I

43:49

can't it's too

43:52

much I'm an

43:54

idiot Oh,

44:00

dear. Yeah, it's a nice edit

44:02

on that, James. Thank you.

44:05

Catch him, what are you?

44:07

Nomine idiot. You're an idiot.

44:10

Oh, dear. He's giggling again.

44:12

Why are you giggling like

44:14

that? Nomine idiot. You're an

44:17

idiot. Okay, all right,

44:19

lovely. That's nice. Don't

44:21

be so hard on

44:23

yourself. No, actually. Thanks,

44:25

James. Thank you. No

44:27

problem. God

44:30

is the range of my voice

44:32

is so annoying from one to

44:34

the other there. I'm an idiot.

44:36

How can that bloke this has

44:39

he's an idiot? Also laugh like

44:41

that. I'm an idiot. But you

44:43

also say as well, hey guys,

44:46

thanks having me. Oh wow. Captian,

44:48

welcome to the fortress

44:50

of something really lovely to

44:53

have you on board. Hey

44:55

guys, thanks having me. I'm

44:57

an idiot. Oh dear. Do

44:59

you know what? He

45:01

really is. And that's

45:03

what everybody always says about,

45:06

Captain. They do say

45:08

that. Do you know

45:10

who reminds me of? He's

45:12

like, Christina Aguilera. You

45:14

can't move at the time as

45:17

I've been told. I'm like,

45:19

Agunera. And you know why?

45:21

Because? I'm an idiot.

45:23

There you are. Blooey

45:25

newsletter, so that's nice.

45:27

Blooey the cartoon. Blooey

45:30

the cartoon. Oh lovely.

45:32

So that's nice for Tom.

45:34

Because he's got a few

45:36

bluey newsletters. It says you're

45:38

now in the loop for

45:41

all the latest updates, events,

45:43

fun and all things, bluey.

45:45

That's right of his alley.

45:47

Isn't that lovely? Literally. That's nice

45:49

for Dom. He's also, I've had

45:52

a little peek into Dom's inbox

45:54

and there's lots of letters he

45:56

doesn't read out, including he's part

45:58

of e-boob store. What is

46:01

E? What is E boob

46:03

store.com? E boob is. Is

46:05

it boob is for Yorkshiremen?

46:08

It's TVD's I think. It's

46:10

TVD's. It's very old fashioned.

46:13

Scroll down. Don't touch your

46:15

laptop. Turn that around and

46:18

show Chris. Don't touch it.

46:20

No scrolling. Just turn it

46:22

around and show. What if

46:25

it's on a... We're not

46:27

live. We're on a reception.

46:30

I'll do it quickly. That's

46:32

a treat. Oh, hello. Hello

46:35

Ledde. That's what he's doing

46:37

on his computer. Hello there

46:39

Ledde. He's also subscribed to

46:42

Brass Stop, Sexy Land. He

46:44

doesn't even even subscribe to

46:47

any of these, does he?

46:49

No. He's made no effort

46:52

to unsubscribe to them. So

46:54

yeah, he's got quite a

46:56

lot going on. And Summers,

46:59

of course, the classic. I

47:01

mean, he can take what?

47:04

Sometimes three to four seconds

47:06

to unsubscribe to an email?

47:09

Yeah, no, none. He's starred

47:11

them. He failed them important.

47:13

What are all these flagged

47:16

emails? Are you a Leeds

47:18

United fan? I'm a Leeds

47:21

United fan? I'm indeed, ma'am.

47:23

I'll be going to the

47:26

end tomorrow. Are you? Oxford

47:28

is next tomorrow? No. Preston.

47:30

Tomorrow. Somebody's texting said, how

47:33

can Rob D.J. gets to

47:35

have a go? We've got

47:38

himself, Dave. Not. So, Dave,

47:40

for a thousand pound, tell

47:43

me the name of this

47:45

song. Start the clock. there

47:50

you go beautiful well turned well done what are they

47:52

now you got a lot of life sounds was

47:54

a little bit longer than

47:56

five seconds actually. 6 .17.

47:58

6 .17 seconds so you've got

48:00

13 .8 seconds left you've

48:02

got just under now you

48:04

know what I do now

48:06

you have a thousand pounds

48:08

on the table in front

48:10

of you if you want

48:12

it that's yours off you

48:14

go no one needs to

48:16

tell Jenny it'll be our

48:18

little secret you've got a

48:21

thousand pounds or you have 13

48:23

.83 seconds left so just

48:25

shy of 14 seconds

48:27

to go for song number two

48:29

if you get song number two

48:31

right i w1000 turn it into

48:33

2000 if the clock hit zero

48:35

before you're giving me the name

48:38

of the song then you

48:40

lose your money and you end up with

48:42

a mug uh no let's play on

48:44

i'm sure me yeah yeah

48:46

come on son right come

48:48

on Dave good luck Dave

48:51

start the clock stop

48:58

the clock what you did

49:00

it again Dave seven can

49:02

i guess yeah go

49:04

on seven points

49:06

well done you are

49:08

on fire 7 .38

49:11

seconds if you go for

49:13

the next one you are jumping

49:15

up it goes to

49:17

5000 pound and if you

49:19

get the right song title

49:21

out before the clock hit zero

49:23

you walk away or you

49:25

have on the table 5000 pound

49:27

so you can take your

49:29

2000 pounds or you

49:32

can risk it for

49:34

five you have less

49:36

than seven a half

49:38

seconds to do that

49:40

and if you don't

49:42

do it you lose

49:44

your money and you uh

49:47

yeah i'm sure

49:49

i'm sure

49:52

Dave you just

49:54

won 2000 pounds well

49:57

done Dave wonderful

50:00

Dave two

50:04

grand

50:06

two

50:08

grand

50:11

two

50:13

grand

50:15

No, this is especially for you.

50:18

Okay. Says Jam Boy, Robinson. It

50:20

actually says Wobbinson, but I'd

50:22

say that. Don't mention him.

50:24

Is Wobinson. It's not Robinson.

50:27

Highlight his speech impediment. Yeah.

50:29

A magazine from the radiator

50:31

company. Hello. Thank you. That's

50:33

your equivalent of one of

50:35

Dom's monkey mags, isn't it?

50:38

Is it just different radiators?

50:40

It's the 25 brochure and

50:42

priceless. Oh, hello, James. You

50:44

can browse. Wow. Because not

50:46

all have, like, you know,

50:48

bars that you can attach

50:50

at custody. I don't. Sorry.

50:52

Hancock, my other half, to

50:54

irradiate it. No, you don't.

50:56

That's a nice one. Look

50:58

at that one. Let's have

51:00

a lot. Look at that

51:02

one. It's like a

51:04

modern old-school one. There

51:07

you are. Like a modern

51:09

old-school one. So, whilst you'll

51:11

have a... Tower rails. Yeah.

51:14

The Anaconda curved one. There

51:16

you go. This is the

51:19

one. This is the Chris

51:21

Moyle Show podcast. Brave.

51:23

X. It's time for

51:26

what self-assages. Boom, Willie,

51:28

boom. What page are

51:31

we on? Four. Boop.

51:33

Boop. Boop. Boop. Boop.

51:35

Boop. Boop. Boop. Boop.

51:37

Boop. Boop. Boop. Boop.

51:40

Boop. Boop. Boop.

51:43

Boop. There. and

51:46

just taking the

51:49

elongated pip at

51:51

the end and

51:54

said the

51:57

word boobes

51:59

so... I mean, we've

52:01

got the timing right.

52:03

Maybe we should open

52:06

the show with that

52:08

tomorrow. Yeah, should we

52:11

have? Boobs. Boobs. Oh,

52:13

him saying boobs. No.

52:16

Two different boobs we've

52:18

got. Well. Boobs. Boobs.

52:20

Boobs. Boobs. Yeah. So,

52:23

isn't that weird? Somebody

52:25

just send us boobs

52:28

after the... Oh God.

52:30

Then we've got this

52:33

one. Boin, boin, boin,

52:35

boin, boin. You can

52:38

mix the two up.

52:40

Boin boin boin boin.

52:42

Boobes. Probably shouldn't. Yeah.

52:45

Do you know, but

52:47

the boobes, some boobes,

52:50

do you've got a

52:52

boin mine? I know.

52:55

I know. This was

52:57

from Dino. Can anyone

53:00

say the alphabet backwards?

53:02

Is that the way

53:05

XWUTS Occupy or KJF3CBA?

53:07

Your turn. Yeah, I

53:09

can, yeah. I can

53:12

do that. Yeah, I

53:14

can do that. Yeah.

53:17

Can anyone say the

53:19

alphabet backwards? Is it

53:22

a useless skill but

53:24

it's impressive? He's missing

53:27

some out there surely?

53:29

Is it a useless

53:31

skill but it's impressive?

53:34

He's missing some out

53:36

there. He's missing some

53:39

out there surely. Is

53:41

it a useless skill

53:44

but it's impressive? He's

53:46

missing some out there

53:49

surely. Is it a

53:51

way ex-XW-U-U-T-S-G-F-L-T-F-D-C-D-C-E-C-I-C-B-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A Z-W-A-X-W-S-O-N-L-L-I-P-T-L-I-P-T-L-I-P-T-L-I-P-T-L-I-P-T-L-I-P-T-L-I-P-T-L-I-P-T-L-I-P-T-S-E-E-L-T-L-L-I-P-S-L-T-T-T-S-E-E-S-E-E-E-S-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-S-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-S-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E- Oh

53:53

yeah! Like, he'll be

53:56

in. Yeah, you're so...

53:58

P will be eep.

54:01

An idiot. Noughty

54:03

tawty. Oh, hello.

54:05

Noughty tawty. Noughty

54:08

tawty. Noughty tawty.

54:10

It sounds like low. It's

54:12

naughty tawty. It's naughty

54:15

tawty. Last one laughing.

54:17

Maybe it is. Then

54:19

we've had some that

54:22

are to do with

54:24

Captain Crapbeard. With his...

54:26

his little cute laugh.

54:29

People are doing

54:31

the impressions

54:34

of that.

54:36

Oh, that's good.

54:39

Here's another

54:42

one. That

54:44

sounds like

54:47

you. Boobs. Boobs.

54:50

What a weird

54:53

show this is. And then

54:55

finally we have this one.

54:57

A great man once said.

54:59

Good things come to those

55:02

who... Is that you? That's

55:04

not me. Sounds a bit

55:06

like you. A great man

55:09

once said. If you put

55:11

a posh for you, son,

55:13

try me posh. A great

55:15

man once said. Great. Man

55:18

once said. That's you. Now

55:20

like me. That's you. Sounds

55:22

like you try to be partial

55:25

old. Oh, hello. Good

55:27

morning, Robin. Good morning,

55:29

Chris. Good morning, Chris.

55:31

Good morning, Chris. How are

55:33

you? How are you? I'm

55:36

okay. I, uh, I'm nervous,

55:38

but I can't leave. You

55:40

call me back. I'm panicking

55:42

slightly. But I'm good. How

55:44

are you? Why are you nervous?

55:47

Well, one, I'm on the

55:49

radio, two, I'm one of those

55:51

people that have gone, oh, this

55:53

is so easy, and now I'm

55:56

here. Yeah, it's a weird thing

55:58

that only you now. everybody else

56:00

who's played the game have

56:02

suddenly realized, oh, the confidence level

56:04

starts to drain out of

56:07

you once you're actually playing the

56:09

game for real. Yes. Yeah.

56:11

So I feel bad for everyone

56:13

that I'd slacked off. That's

56:16

all right. It's very honest to

56:18

you. All right. Okay. Shall we? Let's

56:21

do it. Just

56:25

tell me the name of the song. You

56:27

can say anything you can say as many

56:29

incorrect answers as you like. As soon as

56:31

I hear you say the actual title, which

56:33

you're going to know, Robin, you're going to

56:35

know it. You're going to be like, oh,

56:37

I love this song. It's and you're going

56:39

to tell me the name of it. I

56:42

will stop the clock and I'll give you

56:44

a thousand pounds. All right. Best of luck

56:46

for one thousand pound. Give me the name

56:48

of this song. Start

56:50

the clock. Oh,

56:55

my God. Stop

56:57

the clock. Look at that. We're

56:59

in. We're off. We're off. You see,

57:01

you see, you knew the name

57:03

of it. You said the name of

57:05

it. You got a thousand pounds. Okay.

57:09

How long was that? How long do

57:11

you think it was? Well,

57:14

I went, oh, my God.

57:16

So maybe five seconds. It was

57:18

just a little bit over

57:20

five and half seconds. 5 .8

57:22

seconds. There you go. Now, 5

57:24

.8 seconds and you got it

57:26

right. That's left you with

57:28

just shy of 14 .2. It's

57:31

14 .17 seconds. So just over

57:33

14 seconds left. You have right

57:35

now, Robin, one thousand pound

57:37

on the table. You can take

57:39

that money. It's all yours

57:41

if you want it. We'll put

57:43

it in your bank account

57:45

today. You and Sam have a

57:47

nice night. Right. Lovely. Thousand

57:49

pound or you have just over

57:51

14 seconds left. If you

57:54

get it right, I'll double your

57:56

thousand and call it two

57:58

thousand pound. If you get it

58:00

wrong, or the clock runs out, then you'd

58:02

lose your thousand and we'd

58:04

give you a mug. I love mugs,

58:06

um, I'm gonna, I'm gonna play

58:09

on Chris, please. All right, good

58:11

luck. Go on, Robin. I

58:13

don't know what, I don't

58:15

know what, what, what, what,

58:17

but your favorite songs are,

58:19

or your favorite artists are,

58:21

I'm gonna manifest it that...

58:23

Whatever I play next is

58:25

going to be one of

58:27

your favorites and you're going

58:29

to know it straight away,

58:31

you're going to say the

58:34

name of it and I'll

58:36

give you 2,000 pound before

58:38

the clock runs out of

58:40

course. All right? Okay. Let's do

58:42

this. You did the first one,

58:44

let's get the second

58:46

one. For 2,000 pound,

58:49

give me the title

58:51

of this song. Start

58:53

the clock. Yes it

58:55

is! Well done! Robin!

58:58

Wow! Robin! Well done!

59:00

Two thousand pounds you've

59:02

got! Two thousand

59:05

pounds Robin! Yep.

59:08

Listen, calm yourself! Great great

59:10

great! Stop being nervous. You couldn't

59:12

have played this game any better.

59:14

You could have played it faster,

59:16

but you couldn't have played it

59:18

really any better. All you've got

59:20

to do is name the song.

59:22

You've named two songs. You've now

59:24

got two thousand pound on the

59:26

table. That's yours if you want

59:28

it. You can finish the game

59:30

now. Take the money. We'll give

59:32

you two thousand pounds. Double what

59:34

you just had to. Well done. Or, five and

59:37

a half seconds left. To name

59:39

the next song before the clock at

59:41

zero. If you get it wrong,

59:43

you lose your 2,000 pound.

59:46

Um, crushed. Do I also

59:48

get the mug? What, if

59:50

you win the money? Yeah.

59:52

No. Because the mug says

59:55

20 seconds to 0K. 0K.

59:57

So it really depends on.

59:59

on what's more important to you,

1:00:02

I guess. Look, it's five and

1:00:04

a half seconds. It's your decision.

1:00:06

You risk it, you lose, the

1:00:08

money's gone. Do it right, you

1:00:11

win, it's 5,000 pound. Okay.

1:00:13

I wanted to go for 5K, but

1:00:15

I just don't think I have enough

1:00:17

time. So I would like to take

1:00:19

the money, Chris. Sorry, I

1:00:21

know that's not exciting. Robert,

1:00:24

I know it is exciting.

1:00:26

Because that means you've just

1:00:28

won 2, 2,000. I

1:00:30

don't know how, but

1:00:32

James stumbled across something

1:00:34

about Cap Dag, so

1:00:36

he's clearly gone searching

1:00:39

under Dom's history on

1:00:41

the computer. A bit

1:00:43

private browser. It's a purple

1:00:46

link, it's been clicked

1:00:48

before. And, I wouldn't

1:00:50

say it like that.

1:00:52

Anyway, he stumbled across

1:00:54

the Cap Dag Comedy

1:00:57

Festival. No way. They have

1:00:59

a comedy festival. You can't

1:01:01

even laugh your socks off. Because you

1:01:03

ain't wearing any! Do you have to be...

1:01:06

Do artists have to be nitty as well?

1:01:08

I guess they do. Well, I've just

1:01:10

been having a look during my cup

1:01:12

of romance at the lineup. This is

1:01:14

the nude capital of Europe. Cap-dag

1:01:17

is the nude capital of Europe

1:01:19

and at the comedy festival it's

1:01:21

a hell of a lineup you

1:01:23

can go and see mucky Flanagan.

1:01:25

Great! Yes, he's

1:01:28

on stage with

1:01:30

Lee Dirty

1:01:32

Mac. Lovely.

1:01:35

The brilliant

1:01:38

Eddie is in

1:01:41

the nude. Great.

1:01:44

I guess what?

1:01:46

That length

1:01:49

of that one.

1:01:51

PK. P.K. P.K. P.K.

1:01:54

P.K. Asta. Right. There you

1:01:56

go. Thank you. Lee Evans

1:01:58

got any clothes on. That's

1:02:00

nice. That's the best one

1:02:02

so far. Michael Mackin Boobs.

1:02:05

Right. I see. This is

1:02:07

where we... And John Big

1:02:09

Bishop. Right. Mucky Flanagan. Yes.

1:02:12

Okay. And just added to

1:02:14

the lineup today. Yep. You

1:02:16

may know her from loose

1:02:19

women and last one laughing.

1:02:21

Nudy Love. Nudy Love. Okay.

1:02:23

Nudy Love. That's a play

1:02:25

on words. Yeah. Legit. Great.

1:02:28

Kevin Hard. He's also going

1:02:30

to be there. He's tough.

1:02:32

Okay, tough man. Yeah, Kevin,

1:02:35

good. Do you remember the

1:02:37

two Roneys? Well, we're delighted

1:02:39

to have Rone Fuer, but...

1:02:42

And he's teaming up with

1:02:44

another old friend of his,

1:02:46

Jimmy Tarbot. So they'll be

1:02:49

there. Jimmy Tarbot works. Yep.

1:02:51

The classic lineup. Richard's going

1:02:53

to be there. Richard. He

1:02:55

doesn't go behind Richard. Dick

1:02:58

Reeves and Boob Mortimer will

1:03:00

be on. Right? Yeah. Yeah.

1:03:02

Jack double D good and

1:03:05

the whole event is going

1:03:07

to be hosted by the

1:03:09

brilliant and very funny Romish

1:03:12

Ranganakid This is the Chris

1:03:14

Moil Show podcast morning Tony.

1:03:16

How are you? I'm good.

1:03:18

Thank you yourself. I'm great.

1:03:21

I'm good. I'm great. I'm

1:03:23

good. I'm great. I'm good.

1:03:25

I'm good. I'm yourself. I'm

1:03:28

great. I'm good. What do

1:03:30

you do? What's your job

1:03:32

Tony? I'm a pilot A

1:03:35

what? Pila? At Pila, we

1:03:37

drew holes into the ground

1:03:39

with full buildings with the

1:03:41

sardons. Well, I'll play with

1:03:44

the rig. Yeah. James, you're

1:03:46

not going to play with

1:03:48

Tony's rig. I would love

1:03:51

that. There you are. Dobbs

1:03:53

playing with one before and

1:03:55

it was a big one.

1:03:58

Yeah. Help build that hotel.

1:04:00

Kid indeed. And you got

1:04:02

a family? Yes, I've got

1:04:05

a big family. I've got

1:04:07

six kids. Oh my God!

1:04:09

Yeah. Keep in your pants,

1:04:11

your punk. Sex, kids! Can

1:04:14

you remember the... How old

1:04:16

is the eldest? How young

1:04:18

is the youngest? The eldest

1:04:21

is 17 and the youngest

1:04:23

is 3. Three. Filthy point.

1:04:25

Your messes must be exhausted.

1:04:28

Right. Lord. All she's ever

1:04:30

known is being pregnant. Now,

1:04:32

we're going to play this

1:04:34

game now. All you got

1:04:37

to do is tell me

1:04:39

the name of the song

1:04:41

and we'll put a thousand

1:04:44

pound on the table and

1:04:46

we'll take it from there.

1:04:48

Shall we play for real?

1:04:51

Yes ma'am. Yes ma'am. All

1:04:53

right so now we're playing

1:04:55

for real exactly the same

1:04:57

way as we just did

1:05:00

in the practice. I'm going

1:05:02

to say start the clock

1:05:04

and the track will play.

1:05:07

You're going to know the

1:05:09

correct title, I will stop

1:05:11

the clock. Okay? Yeah. You're

1:05:14

going to be confident, you're

1:05:16

going to be positive. Just

1:05:18

give me the name of

1:05:21

this song for one thousand

1:05:23

pounds. Start the clock. I'll

1:05:26

wait for you. I got so

1:05:28

great. Now, very close. I didn't,

1:05:31

I don't know. So we have

1:05:33

to go back and then we

1:05:35

have to look at the time

1:05:37

of the clock. We have to

1:05:39

listen to the audio and then

1:05:41

I get a ruling and do

1:05:43

you want to know what the

1:05:45

ruling is? Go on. You want

1:05:48

a mug? No, you win a

1:05:50

thousand pounds. Oh, that way! Yes,

1:05:52

way! It was 19.7 seconds. As

1:05:54

the wash was beginning. Wow. You

1:05:56

said it. So I've got half

1:05:58

a second left for the next

1:06:00

one. Yeah. Yeah. What was it?

1:06:02

Was it no? Point, what was

1:06:05

it on left? What? Point three.

1:06:07

So you've got zero point three.

1:06:09

It's up to you if you

1:06:11

want to deal with your money?

1:06:13

Absolutely. Absolutely not. So you're going

1:06:15

to take your thousand? Yes, please.

1:06:17

I'll make your shirt. I think...

1:06:20

I've started getting ready at quarter

1:06:22

past nine and thinking I'm going

1:06:24

to go to bed early. The

1:06:26

next thing is I'm getting into

1:06:28

bed I'm like five past ten?

1:06:30

Where did this happen? So much

1:06:32

easier to go to bed when

1:06:34

you're drunk. You just go to

1:06:37

bed? Funny close. You dressed for

1:06:39

the morning, son? Yeah. Oh no

1:06:41

I can't go to bed fully

1:06:43

clothed. Oh when you're drunk sometimes

1:06:45

you have no choice. Well no,

1:06:47

that's because you face palm palm

1:06:49

the bed. Simon, what? I don't

1:06:51

ever get drunk. I don't do

1:06:54

that. Do you actually know? No,

1:06:56

of course I do. What time

1:06:58

to get up in the morning,

1:07:00

Simon? Up on three. What bed

1:07:02

do you want to be? A

1:07:04

news reader, Simon? Getting up up

1:07:06

up, up on three. There you

1:07:08

go. Bye, Simon. Bye, Simon. Simon.

1:07:11

Simon. Simon. Bye, Simon. Bye, Simon.

1:07:13

Simon. Bye, Simon. That was so

1:07:15

awkward. He has to leave because

1:07:17

he's got to go back to

1:07:19

the newsroom and do stuff. Serious

1:07:21

news. It was almost like we

1:07:23

were just talking about James being

1:07:26

drunk. Next thing is he just

1:07:28

takes his head first. I've got

1:07:30

to go. Oh, have you had

1:07:32

a bad experience with Simon whilst

1:07:34

being drunk? Yeah, if you took

1:07:36

me in drunk together. Oh my

1:07:38

God, did you try and get

1:07:40

off with him? Yeah. Did we

1:07:43

try to invite him into... your

1:07:45

weird world. No, that stomps domain

1:07:47

isn't it? No. Oh do you

1:07:49

not think James and Chelsea be

1:07:51

ripe for that as well? Oh

1:07:53

no, not for me. Not New

1:07:55

Zealand. Do you not think they've

1:07:57

got the look? I can't think

1:08:00

about it now. Don't think about

1:08:02

it. You know my imagine. actually

1:08:04

takes me there and I don't

1:08:06

want to. I have to be

1:08:08

fair now and just for balance.

1:08:10

Do you ever think maybe people

1:08:12

in Toby could? Well Toby does

1:08:14

like being in the nood. He

1:08:17

does. Oh definitely naturists. Toby could

1:08:19

definitely do that. See I'm not

1:08:21

a nitty. I don't like being,

1:08:23

well not don't like but I'm

1:08:25

a bit more conscious of being

1:08:27

nitty. Some people just are and

1:08:29

I'm one of those. Yeah. Toby

1:08:32

is not. I don't think most

1:08:34

people most people, I mean walking

1:08:36

around your home nude. I don't

1:08:38

really do that. I think it's

1:08:40

fine until you catch sight of

1:08:42

yourself in the mirror or our

1:08:44

reflection and you just go, oh

1:08:46

God, oh God, oh what am

1:08:49

I thinking? Oh I didn't even

1:08:51

be figly funny, he'd be just...

1:08:53

No, no, he'd be absolutely... The

1:08:55

male form. Darkers. Time and Conway

1:08:57

Newsman. Time and Conway Newsman. Time

1:08:59

and Conway Newsman. Got a few

1:09:01

text messages and we're playing the

1:09:03

Thomas the Tank Engine theme before

1:09:06

7 and a few people are

1:09:08

texting Lewis from York and Simon

1:09:10

and a few others say hey

1:09:12

there's a have you seen the

1:09:14

brilliant mix of biggy Smalls and

1:09:16

Thomas the Tank Engine and then

1:09:18

I was reading it out and

1:09:20

then Simon Conway was walking into

1:09:23

the news he said it's brilliant.

1:09:25

So I haven't listened to it

1:09:27

yet, so let's just play it,

1:09:29

shall we? No, don't, no. Don't,

1:09:31

no. Ah? No, don't, please, don't

1:09:33

do it. Oh, but apparently, you

1:09:35

said it was brilliant, so let's

1:09:37

have a listen. If Simon says

1:09:40

no. Yeah, please. Simon says. Simon

1:09:42

says, play, all lose your jobs,

1:09:44

please. Would you lose your job

1:09:46

as well? Well, I'm not part

1:09:48

of it, and I try to

1:09:50

warn you against it. That's fine

1:09:52

Simon Conway newsman. No, I listened

1:09:55

to it during the adverts and

1:09:57

within about a second and a

1:09:59

half I'm like, yeah, we can't

1:10:01

play. Yesterday we tested Simon Conway

1:10:03

on his James Bond knowledge because

1:10:05

he loves James Bond. It's his

1:10:07

favorite movie franchise. I did abysmably.

1:10:09

Awfully. He didn't. Awful. Well we

1:10:12

got new questions for you. Now

1:10:14

yesterday as it turned out you

1:10:16

ended up playing against Pepper who

1:10:18

beat you. She did thrashed me.

1:10:20

Just the look of the draw.

1:10:22

I did get some easy questions Simon.

1:10:25

So we've got fresh

1:10:27

questions. You'll be pleased

1:10:29

to hear. All right.

1:10:31

So, you can either

1:10:33

choose a number or

1:10:35

I'll just read or

1:10:38

I'll just pick one

1:10:40

at random, whatever you

1:10:42

want to do. Okay,

1:10:44

I'll pick number four.

1:10:46

These are the new

1:10:49

questions. In the novel

1:10:51

Casino Royale, what card

1:10:53

game does Bond play

1:10:56

against Lesheath? It

1:10:58

is... Bubba.

1:11:11

card game. Bubba. Bubba.

1:11:14

Poker. No. I'll

1:11:20

give you another one that I'll give you

1:11:23

two in a row. All right. What is the

1:11:25

number of the agent in? Goldeneye

1:11:28

played by

1:11:30

Sean by Sean

1:11:33

Bean. That's double-o-six. Hey!

1:11:35

I didn't even

1:11:37

know Sean Bean

1:11:39

was in one

1:11:41

of them. Oh,

1:11:44

he was great,

1:11:46

yeah. Oh, I'm

1:11:48

double-o-six! All right,

1:11:50

here's the name of

1:11:52

James Bond's

1:11:54

Ancestral Home

1:11:56

in... Skyfall.

1:11:59

Oh, that is a

1:12:01

toughie. Um, is that the one

1:12:03

where Judy's at the end? Yes, they

1:12:05

turn up and there's a big

1:12:07

explosion at the, oh, um,

1:12:10

kicks ass. I can't remember.

1:12:12

Skyfall. Skyfall. What's the name

1:12:14

of the lodge in Skyfall,

1:12:17

Pepper? That's good question. What's

1:12:19

the name of the

1:12:21

lodge in Skyfall, Pepper?

1:12:23

That's a good question.

1:12:25

What is the name

1:12:28

of the lodge in

1:12:30

Skyfall? Is it called...

1:12:32

The lodge? What is

1:12:34

the name of the

1:12:37

lodge in Skyfall? Skyfall

1:12:39

Lodge. Yes. Pepper. Hello.

1:12:41

You have not had

1:12:44

any questions yet.

1:12:46

No. What is

1:12:48

the name of

1:12:50

James Bond's boss?

1:12:53

Well. It's one

1:12:55

of two letters.

1:12:59

I'm going to go for M.

1:13:01

She's all over this. I

1:13:04

just refuse to believe that

1:13:06

you have not seen some

1:13:08

of these questions in advance.

1:13:11

How rude. To be fair

1:13:13

that was an easy one.

1:13:15

All right, I'll give Pipper

1:13:17

another one. Okay. Ready? Here

1:13:20

we go. What country is

1:13:22

James Bond originally from? Oh.

1:13:24

I mean, he's English. Just

1:13:27

a look at the draw

1:13:29

dude. It's like 22nd to

1:13:31

20K. No. All right. Are

1:13:33

you ready? Go on there.

1:13:36

Here we go. What is

1:13:38

the name of the secret

1:13:40

organization that Bond fights Inspector?

1:13:42

Not Inspector. In

1:13:45

Specter. Inspector. Gadget. Think

1:13:47

it is Specter. Yes, but

1:13:49

what is it? What does it

1:13:51

stand for? What's the acronym? Yeah.

1:13:54

Oh gosh. Special... No. I

1:13:56

can't remember. Don't know. Thou.

1:14:00

Let's just ask Pippa, shall we?

1:14:02

Go on, if she knows it, you

1:14:04

can have a little guess. I'll give

1:14:06

you a clue, it does start

1:14:08

with special, you were right. Special,

1:14:11

is it? I'm just

1:14:13

gonna guess, is it

1:14:16

special, executive for counterintelligence

1:14:18

terrorism, revenge and extortion?

1:14:21

There you go! Well,

1:14:23

there you have it. Ladies and

1:14:25

gentlemen. Oh, sorry, James is here.

1:14:27

Sorry. Welcome to the podcast. We're

1:14:29

doing the beginning. We're doing the

1:14:31

intro. Yeah, we're doing the intro.

1:14:34

We're doing the end. Because he said,

1:14:36

well, we did the intro. We're doing

1:14:38

it. We're doing it. We're doing the

1:14:40

intro. I'm confused. Yeah, you lost me

1:14:42

there. It's easy to be confused. Boops.

1:14:44

What are poo, poo, what are you

1:14:46

saying? I've got poo. No, not poo

1:14:48

poo poo. Oh, do you have your

1:14:50

bums out in public? I don't have

1:14:52

my bummer in public. Oh, no, the

1:14:55

texture of that rim anywhere. I do,

1:14:57

I, this, I don't know why you're

1:14:59

looking at me. What's wrong with you?

1:15:01

I'm gonna come and have a smell.

1:15:03

You aren't doing, no such thing. Oh,

1:15:05

oh no, what's happened. Oh, what's happened.

1:15:07

I had a mishap. Oh no,

1:15:09

what happened? Look how big and

1:15:11

juicy they are. Right. I like

1:15:13

mine at the bottom. You like

1:15:15

you, what? Boops. Oh right, just.

1:15:17

Oh God, I've just seen some

1:15:20

of the clips on that page.

1:15:22

Oh dear. We did. We used

1:15:24

to move some of these. Have

1:15:26

a fiddle, James. Oh no. It's

1:15:28

quite meaty, isn't it? Yeah. Do

1:15:30

you need to try and rub it

1:15:32

off with a wipe? Oh no. Pop that

1:15:34

in there. Why? It's banana

1:15:36

time. Okay, all right, lovely.

1:15:39

Some of them don't go

1:15:41

together that nicely. Mummy? None

1:15:43

of them. Oh God. I love nuts.

1:15:45

You do love nuts? Do you

1:15:48

like nuts? I do like nuts?

1:15:50

I love nuts. Do you like

1:15:52

nuts? You like nuts? You like

1:15:54

nuts. Go on what? Why are you

1:15:56

joining in pepper? I'm talking

1:15:59

to pepper. You got

1:16:01

it up so quickly. so

1:16:03

quickly. Oh yeah. Should we squeeze in one

1:16:05

we squeeze in one

1:16:07

more? Just pop a

1:16:09

net in there. in there.

1:16:11

I've got nothing. I've got got

1:16:13

nothing. I've got nothing. I've got

1:16:15

nothing. I've got got I've got nothing.

1:16:18

Booves. Booves. And on on that

1:16:20

we're we're out of

1:16:22

the door. Thanks for

1:16:24

listening. listening. see you next

1:16:26

week for the podcast.

1:16:28

week Cheers the podcast. you

1:16:30

get the last Captain, you get

1:16:32

the last word. Babes.