0:00

Hello. Welcome to No. That's not

0:02

the intro. Absolutely not.

0:04

That's not that's not that's not it. That's

0:06

not it. No. We're not getting I'm Ryan.

0:08

Nope. That's not no. It's not gonna go that way. Did

0:10

you hear that? This is this is the No. Hello and welcome

0:12

to the comedy button. I'm gonna stop the intro.

0:15

That's the sense of nice at all. That's

0:18

the sense of our We're gonna have that. Absolutely.

0:20

We have our kind of business case. Under

0:22

no circumstance, will that be the beginning of

0:24

this episode So there's, like, no way it's your mommy

0:27

paper in Egypt. It's gotta

0:29

suck. It's gotta suck. And and

0:31

here I have some gummy bears. Don't say

0:33

gummy bears. Okay. That's

0:35

not it. I'm fine. Alright. Ryan,

0:37

that's fucking horrendous on, like, on

0:39

every possible human level. Like

0:41

We don't That's how the all the ASMR people

0:44

on Twitter. No. They don't

0:45

That's why you're not ASMR. Oh,

0:47

wow. You're not the person we wanna

0:49

hear for ASMR.

0:50

It stands for asexual man rat. That's

0:52

supposed to mean It stands for asexual

0:55

man rat.

0:58

Terrible.

1:00

Don't ever do that. table anyway. No.

1:02

Oh, I got I got Brian Altano. Scott

1:05

Bromley. Probably

1:07

Scott Bromley's kid who's gonna cry

1:10

at some point. Yes. Scott decided

1:12

to do a podcast with parenting solo,

1:14

so I'm sorry for that Christian

1:16

Bandy r and and

1:18

Max Govella.

1:20

Max for wrapping me on your show. I like the

1:22

middle sentence show.

1:24

What's

1:24

up everybody? Okay.

1:26

I'm done. How's my job? It's going

1:28

on.

1:28

It's been it's been fun. I've missed you guys.

1:30

I haven't seen I even I haven't done a show with you

1:32

guys in a in a wild card.

1:34

been -- Yeah. -- jet setting with

1:36

a with a baby. Well,

1:39

how's how miserable is that?

1:42

It's

1:44

I if you're gonna if you're gonna jet set

1:47

with a child, go to a time zone

1:50

in the opposite direction towards

1:52

the west, because

1:56

the baby will be like, I'm going to bed at

1:58

seven. You're like, okay,

2:00

I'm going to bed too because

2:02

I it's usually ten.

2:04

Good night. Oh, right. Yeah. That

2:06

makes a that makes a lot of sense. Yeah.

2:08

So it was we had that we had that

2:10

wonderful daylight savings thing in the middle. I

2:12

I think I I found out that, like, some

2:14

some states don't do that and many countries

2:16

don't do that. So you just have fucking insane

2:18

talking about we have to fuck with the clocks

2:20

twice a year. Yeah. Are we stopping are we stopping

2:22

doing that next year? Is it I thought I thought

2:24

we were I thought we voted on it. I thought it was They

2:27

didn't they they didn't shoot down. I voted for

2:29

a lot of shit that didn't happen, but one of this is

2:31

one of them for sure. I definitely voted to make

2:33

sure that we don't have to change my fucking clocks.

2:35

Every clock is different. That's a problem.

2:37

It's I have to Every clock is

2:40

special. It's a special little snowflake.

2:42

I have a I have a clock in my

2:44

bathroom that came with an electric

2:46

toothbrush that I had

2:48

three years ago that I don't have

2:50

anymore. And it was one of those ones that makes

2:52

like sad faces or or happy faces

2:54

depending on how well you brush. Oh, that's

2:56

fine. And that and it it

2:58

made, like, a it made, like, a smirk.

3:01

Like, you know, that's pretty good. And then

3:03

my toothbrush toothbrush died, but I kept

3:05

the clocks I've just had this, like,

3:07

fucking smirking bathroom clock

3:10

for three years. This is kinda like the egging

3:12

and a pretty good day, maybe Internet and me.

3:14

And now that the time is off on

3:16

it, and I just wanna throw it in a in a

3:18

wall. I think it's a I think that's acceptable

3:21

e waste. If you wanna just throw that in the

3:23

ocean, that's fair. It's pronounced e

3:25

waste. It was a

3:27

lost day. There we go. We

3:29

got a laugh from Kristen. There we go.

3:31

Things are working. Thank you so much.

3:34

I got I got the I love our audience.

3:36

I love our listeners. They gave us I got some

3:38

the best information about Tim Delfin. I got

3:40

a full explanation about what Tim Delfin. dolphin

3:42

is who he is, why he's there. I'm

3:45

glad we promoted him before we had that.

3:47

If you listen to the show out of order or

3:49

you listen to the show to go to sleep, you might have

3:51

missed it last week, Max introduced the world

3:53

to a hit musician that he found out

3:55

about in German bathroom by looking at a flyer

3:57

and his name is Tim Dolphin. We asked you

3:59

all

3:59

the blow up his used to page and many

4:02

of you did.

4:03

Yeah. Well Yes.

4:05

So I don't know. I didn't say that if that

4:07

works. Anybody who didn't listen to the last

4:09

episode and is starting here. I just

4:11

don't know what else life choices they're making,

4:13

but good luck with that. You know,

4:15

Ophelia on Instagram have the album basically wrote

4:17

an immensely thorough

4:19

detailed breakdown of all of this context.

4:22

But basically, Schlager is a German

4:25

pop adjacent genre, which is exclusively

4:27

played at German folk festivals like Oktoberfest,

4:29

and it's basically my understanding is it's basically

4:31

like an entire genre of

4:33

like LMFAO. Like,

4:35

just it's this loud ass, this

4:37

pumping music with apparently, it's it's

4:39

a usually very simple strong

4:41

song structure at lyrics wise, meaning that it's

4:43

easier to sing or just yell along with it

4:45

when you're tanked. But

4:47

I guess, apparently,

4:49

Mayorca is is a very popular destination

4:51

for, like, German tourists to go get drunk

4:53

and yell at music or whatever. And so

4:57

what the like, the chorus of the Tim Dauphin

4:59

song is, like, just shouting about Mayorca

5:02

pretty much. But basically, it

5:04

sounds like it was not a bachelor party prank.

5:06

It was somebody who's trying to go viral

5:09

as a Schlager pop musician. Okay.

5:12

But apparently No. I'm just I discovered an

5:14

entire new, you know,

5:16

genre of checkout. Yeah. But

5:19

apparently, it's Yeah.

5:21

I mean, it's it's I feel it

5:23

was basically saying that it's this is not that

5:25

weird by Schlager standards. This is pretty much,

5:27

like, See, the genre

5:29

is completely oversaturated with very similar artists.

5:31

They're judging by the recent inactivity. They might have

5:33

just given up, but

5:35

that's interesting that it's just very much that the the

5:37

dolphin is just tip of the iceberg and there's all

5:39

sorts of other shit. And I guess there's one

5:41

where the title of the song literally translates

5:43

to my favorite animal is brought worst.

5:46

So I I'm gonna check that

5:48

out. Could could

5:50

we enter the Schlageosphere? with

5:53

with our own calls, slugging on.

5:56

We

5:56

can we do, like, Don

5:58

Orca? And

5:59

That's dope. It's Don't

6:02

rip this dude off. Don't worry about it.

6:04

Don't worry about it. Don't worry

6:06

about it. It's just whale noises, but set

6:08

to a TikTok. That'd

6:09

be pretty good. Related to to John

6:12

Shark. Yeah. Was

6:14

that even a joke? What was that? That was

6:16

just a sentence with words in it. Like,

6:18

what what did you just say? I

6:22

John Shark? Yeah.

6:24

Don Don Orca.

6:26

Yeah. I'm Don Orca. As a person, this

6:28

approach? Is it something you made up? Yes.

6:31

Yeah. Oh, wow.

6:33

This strong start here. Yeah. He wrote I remember

6:35

that I he wrote the hits off I

6:37

mean, I had I had that that Federico,

6:39

Jarviall, Jarviall. Jarviall years ago.

6:41

Okay. That was How are you?

6:43

You got it? Sleep fry it

6:46

too. No. I'm my brain maybe.

6:49

We're running on a cylinder this week. That's

6:51

good.

6:53

III you know, after the the

6:55

ASMR, I got nothing. Alright.

6:57

Well, then just you can do the the most

6:59

ultimate of ASMR, which is just utter Oh,

7:04

also one more thing.

7:07

I feel like I said, I wanna debunk one

7:09

of the many myths Brian has mentioned many times

7:11

in the show, which is that Jaeger Meister, according to

7:13

him, isn't German, but New Jerseyian. It is

7:15

in fact a German product, and it's made a place

7:17

that is actually legitimately called

7:20

Wolf and butter. It's made

7:22

in Pennsylvania.

7:23

It says it on the bottle. It's

7:25

probably bottled there. I mean It's bottled

7:27

there. they say they say like a bunch of sake

7:29

comes from Folsom, California.

7:32

So what do you mean? They they make all the

7:34

liquid in Germany and they send the liquid

7:36

in a tank Pennsylvania to put in a bottle

7:38

that will be there. You guys have the bottles

7:40

that it can

7:41

go. Often times for, like, foreign

7:43

imports, they have to have a distribution house

7:46

in America

7:47

in order to distribute here.

7:49

So they probably make it here,

7:51

but the distribution

7:51

company is based in

7:53

Jersey. or

7:55

Pennsylvania where it's like an Mexican

7:57

Coke deal where it's like they have a different recipe

7:59

somewhere else. I mean, you know, there's you

8:01

ever had, like, Red Bull from Thailand?

8:03

Hi. guide in the Mexican cocktail.

8:05

I'm literally looking at Brian

8:08

become one of those, like,

8:10

I'm

8:10

gonna make sure they're right. I just saw

8:12

your Google face where you are literally

8:14

looking to Google to

8:16

just correct us. I I know what that

8:18

look looks like on You mean us? this

8:20

information that you got eight seconds ago

8:22

that you agree with, and I got eight seconds

8:24

ago that I disagree with. Okay.

8:28

Tell us if we're right. I didn't even get that far

8:30

because I I was called out, and

8:33

it doesn't recognize my date

8:35

of birth. So I can't read it. Are

8:37

you on the Jaeger Meister website? I was

8:39

trying. Yeah. Okay. You got

8:41

a Wikipedia page too that isn't

8:43

age gated. It's called doing

8:45

your own research. No.

8:53

I believe them. That's fine.

8:55

That's great. IIII

8:57

want as much mysticism around

8:59

Jaeger Meister as humanly possible. So wanna

9:02

try the the I wanna try the real

9:04

stuff. Like, I wanna have, like, a authentic

9:06

jagermeister and see if it tastes any better. And

9:08

if Straight you mean straight from the

9:10

from the company? Start the

9:12

the deal. You get a you get

9:14

a suck it out of the the Alex

9:16

Avis. Thanks

9:20

for that. Hi. What's that what's that

9:22

shit? Theunderberg. I had anunderberg

9:24

this weekend. Wow. I like

9:26

anunderberg. long enough that I've forgotten how much that hurts

9:28

to drink and Yeah. Those aren't

9:30

alcoholic. Right? Yeah. They are.

9:32

They're only four percent. Yeah. Yeah.

9:34

They're pretty they're pretty toasty.

9:36

But Oh, interesting. Apparently, one of

9:38

our our German friend says that the way you're supposed to do

9:40

that is you're supposed to hold the

9:42

bottle between your teeth and take the cap and balance

9:44

it on your nose and tilt it so it just,

9:46

like, stays up there. We told my friend

9:48

that and he misheard us and he just, like,

9:50

he just put the cap in his

9:52

nose. And I was,

9:54

like, you know, whatever. It's not the dumbest thing people have

9:56

done while drinking stuff. I

9:59

love that.

9:59

Yeah. Yeah. He may he missed

10:02

hurt you. What is the whole You could have been fucking around

10:04

that. I would I would honestly fifty fifty

10:06

on that. What's the benefit of the whole

10:08

theatrics? I don't know. What's

10:10

it with people who do the you know, some people do

10:12

a toast where they, like, put the glass down first.

10:14

Like, they be like, cheers. They raise it and then they hit the

10:16

table and then and then drink it. And

10:18

some

10:18

people just They're going to jail is what

10:20

that's this is their last night before they go to prison,

10:23

like, that Edward Norton movie. twenty

10:25

twenty five hours or whatever -- Twenty fifth man.

10:28

-- twenty twenty five minutes.

10:30

I'm twenty five

10:33

inside men for an hour. This

10:38

ain't a spikey movie. The act of the

10:40

enterprise parody. At the end of the movie, they're like,

10:42

he's gonna go to jail and he goes, nope. I'm a swerve

10:44

on you guys. I'm not gonna do and then he just

10:46

keeps driving and then the credits show up. You

10:48

guys seen that movie twenty twenty? That's a weird that's a weird I

10:50

I really like that movie. I saw it a million years ago

10:52

and III don't know if it stuck with me.

10:54

Does this spike Lee? Yeah. Yeah. That's

10:56

right. Yeah. That's a good time.

10:58

Isn't there, like, a whole subplot about, like,

11:00

Anapak when trying to fuck Philip Seymour

11:02

Hoffman? Is that

11:04

in that movie? I know that's a thing that exists

11:06

in some movie. I just don't know if it's that movie.

11:08

There no. There's a subplot where Anaconda

11:11

is trying to fucking kill zero.

11:13

or the

11:16

snake is there. Why is

11:18

he talking like that? Is

11:21

that Phillip's secret? Are you the innovator?

11:25

You take me take your pic. Here,

11:28

Philip. It's me, the innovator. Hey,

11:30

Anna. It's me, Philip. Can

11:32

you I think they I think they had a lot of what computers

11:35

sound like on my nose. That's

11:37

tickle my feelings with her. It would either sound like

11:39

Jeff Goblum or like Templeton

11:41

the rat. There's no other option.

11:43

It's one of those. the anaconda? Yeah.

11:46

If it talks You

11:48

don't think I'm gonna I'm gonna eat. I'm

11:50

gonna eat John Hoyt. I'm gonna sneak up

11:53

this pipe And I'm gonna eat John Voigt. That's right. I ate

11:55

Owen Wilson earlier. Mhmm.

11:56

Certainly dead.

11:58

Or be like,

11:59

movie

12:02

is so fucking stupid. I love

12:04

that. And I watched it.

12:06

I watched it I watched it, like, six

12:08

months ago.

12:09

Boy, those effects really help

12:11

those one of those ones where it's like, I wonder why they didn't like,

12:13

they should have paused it, but they didn't in the end.

12:15

They were just like, that is the dumbest looking snake

12:17

I've ever seen. It's so bad looking.

12:19

Like, I I hate throwing around the like, it looks like

12:21

APS3 game, but it really does look It's

12:23

not using the same. The CGI the CGI is

12:25

better than the actual what the actual snake

12:28

looks like. because the actual snake, I

12:30

don't know who they hired to design it,

12:32

but it just looks like It looks like

12:34

somebody put character. It looks like somebody put

12:36

Googly as on a watermelon. Like, it's pretty

12:38

terrible. Okay. That that that movie

12:40

was nineteen ninety seven.

12:42

Yeah. So does it look better or

12:44

worse than spawn? Or Jurassic Park. Ten

12:46

ninety seven or twenty six. It

12:47

is a different thing entirely because here

12:50

here in spawns, not

12:51

defense. What have you called it wrong? I

12:53

said it was. born. Bullhorn.

12:57

Bullhorn. That was a that movie

12:59

made no sense because they were like, we need to make the cape

13:01

look fucking insane. We gotta have the cape

13:03

absolutely crazy. they're, like, moving

13:05

it in. and Cape is too expensive, so he's not

13:07

gonna have a Cape most of the time. And it's like, you

13:09

know that people have been making Capes out of just

13:11

regular as fabric for, like, the history

13:13

of Capes and could just fucking split

13:15

the difference and be, like, sometimes it's CG. I

13:17

can understand be, like, we need to make the biggest

13:19

snake ever. We're gonna have to use computers for some of

13:21

the shots. Okay. Fair enough. That's

13:23

like a reasonable use of CGI.

13:25

But to be like, oh, you can't have a

13:27

cape in this scene because it's too expensive. We just

13:29

gotta have have no cape at all. We'll have it Talk up

13:31

the glass. You know what? CG?

13:33

Like, the late nineties

13:35

CG is fucking amazing now.

13:37

It looks so good. It is

13:39

in a serious way? No. The

13:41

skeletons jumping out of the bodies in

13:43

Blade. Oh,

13:45

yeah. No.

13:47

That looks like that looks like Tim and Eric at this point. That's

13:49

that's fucking cartoony.

13:52

It's so fun.

13:53

Just pry and

13:56

pry the little jelly hands out.

13:59

Like, I'm flying

13:59

away.

14:01

think I remember that. I respect it. Yeah. I

14:03

haven't seen that movie. Oh, Kristen, I thought you

14:05

were given I thought you were he

14:07

was handing you Nikewel but it was a

14:09

beer.

14:09

It's a it's

14:12

a non alcoholic beer.

14:15

Who

14:16

happened to you? Did did you hit someone with

14:18

a car?

14:18

No. I'm just not

14:21

drinking for

14:21

November. I know. The whole

14:24

month You could've waited until after

14:26

election day. I feel like that's, you know Don't

14:28

I didn't think this went through. What

14:30

about the three day? it's no

14:33

nebulation November. Yeah.

14:35

No nebulation. Love that.

14:38

What? Shit. over goddamn. No. That way, you

14:40

can't you can't drink. You can't jerk off. You

14:42

have to grow a mustache. Fuck this one.

14:44

What are you supposed to do? I saw somebody that

14:46

was like, you have to grow a mustache. You have to write

14:48

a novel and you and like, or all this

14:50

other shit and and somebody else was like,

14:52

that's basically just a plot of the shining.

14:57

Yeah. I

14:59

mean, I try to do, like, a little detoxing in January,

15:01

but November is, like, just popping off in

15:04

November. Right? No.

15:04

There's nothing happening other than

15:06

things giving, what's happening.

15:08

Thanksgiving is a big one, I would say.

15:10

For sure.

15:11

month though, you know?

15:12

This is, you know, there's a lot of stuff going

15:15

on. There's a mashed

15:18

potato. I see where

15:21

you're coming from. I but I mean, it's definitely

15:23

It's one of those ones where you're kinda like, yeah, I'm

15:25

gonna take a month off, not counting the

15:27

week at the end, which is holidays. So

15:29

it's, you know, like, a good little three three

15:31

week month there.

15:32

I figured it was better than doing

15:34

it for my

15:35

birthday, so in

15:37

December. Yeah. That's definitely better than doing it

15:39

for your birthday. Yeah. Yeah. So

15:41

well, it's guy gotta get the

15:43

week. Also, happy belated birthday

15:45

max. Thanks, Kristen. Happy

15:47

holidays here. How was your Let

15:50

us know. Yeah. You didn't if you didn't

15:52

respond to my birthday email, Matt. That was a good

15:54

Ryan, I gotta say that was a good I didn't answer any

15:56

emails fucking birthday. But that was a good one because you you did a

15:58

prank as opposed to doing the normal thing where you

16:00

just say like no subject and it's the skeleton,

16:02

the What it the Yeah.

16:05

Skilled. Skilled its birthday or whatever. You

16:07

you sent, like, a the head of the subject

16:09

was, like, urgent tax info act

16:11

now. Need to update things.

16:13

Please respond and then it was like, just

16:15

kidding. I fucking pranked you. And then you said some weird shit

16:17

about it. What did you write? Yeah. I

16:19

was like, I pray to you idiot. You stupid

16:22

moron. There's a there's a there's a

16:24

sandwich on your desk that's over stuff

16:26

with tuna. Happy birthday

16:28

dinner. Yeah, man. You wrote L0LJK

16:30

You got Frank. You stupid moron. You

16:32

goddamn idiot, simpleton. There's this you're

16:35

dumber than marjorie, Taylor Green.

16:37

Happy Birthday. That's what I love you rock.

16:39

Okay. That's that's me. That wasn't

16:41

nice. I love

16:43

a good, like, just motherfucker birthday

16:45

thing, you know? I don't know. Motherfucker.

16:47

I got it. Somebody texted me. I

16:49

had the thing where I, like, transferred phones a bunch of time,

16:51

and I think I stopped paying for iCloud. And so I have,

16:53

like, these phantom numbers that I'm, like,

16:56

they're clear they weren't, like, contacts at some point,

16:58

but they just they don't have a name. And

17:00

so I have somebody texted me. They're, like, happy

17:02

birthday with the balloons emoji, and the only other text

17:04

was from year when they're, like, happy

17:07

birthday. My job is just and I'm,

17:09

like, I I didn't bother to be,

17:11

like, who's this? And so I feel bad because

17:13

it's somebody who

17:14

remembers your birthday. Bless him.

17:16

Well, maybe they listen to the show. Maybe

17:18

so, but thank you very important to you.

17:21

Thank you, mystery birthday

17:23

person.

17:23

Speaking of ghost texts, the

17:26

most the most random one that

17:28

I've gotten outside of all of these

17:30

election text messages has

17:33

been don't know the number,

17:35

don't recognize it's a it's a

17:37

number from Maryland. I'm not quite sure

17:39

who I would know from there.

17:42

Single

17:42

text was a link to

17:45

SF

17:45

Gates article about Paramore

17:47

coming to the Chase Center Next. Okay. So

17:49

it

17:49

says somebody who knows you.

17:51

But I've not talked

17:53

about pair more to anyone in

17:56

months. Yeah. Unless -- Yep. --

17:58

by talk, you mean sing one of their songs,

18:01

misery business. Sure. Lovely. And really well might I

18:03

add. Thank you. Yeah. At a

18:05

karaoke bar, which I do. But I It

18:07

wasn't her intentioned.

18:10

but I'm not

18:12

quite sure who this was, but

18:14

I want to thank them. Do

18:16

you think it was Hailey Williams? Oh,

18:18

god. I hope so. Like

18:19

I'd be I'd be kinda sad on her

18:21

part if she was just, like, individually messaging

18:24

fans being, like, hey, here's an article. You

18:26

know, she never did. She She was super

18:28

depressed last album, so maybe it

18:30

wasn't.

18:30

Well,

18:31

I I say this because I got on

18:33

a ticket masters x

18:36

like, what is it? Verified fan list?

18:39

Verified

18:39

fan ticket. Yeah. So

18:41

dumb. Yeah. I did I did that as

18:43

well for Taylor Shlick.

18:45

What does that

18:48

mean to you? Oh,

18:48

is that why you're growing up the hair? You

18:50

wanna be in there singing midnight

18:53

album with t

18:54

swift? Hey. It's

18:56

me. It's I have the problem. It's me.

19:01

It's

19:02

a good album. I don't even like Taylor Swift.

19:04

It's not

19:04

a favorite it's not a favorite album of

19:07

hers, but I do enjoy it also. Yeah.

19:09

Also, best best underrated song, hers,

19:11

everies, elicit affairs. Oh,

19:13

is

19:13

that the one where she calls

19:16

out? What's next producer,

19:18

dude? And No. This is

19:19

the one where she insists that she never had an

19:21

affair, but boy. Sure. Sounds like

19:23

she did. Uh-oh. Oh.

19:26

Wow. Does she have kids? No. Does

19:28

she no. No. But they're no. But allegedly, I'm

19:30

a three AM. Oh, obviously, she

19:32

did AAA song about

19:35

of this carriage since she had

19:37

oh Oh,

19:38

interesting. Alright. She's a little bit

19:41

edgier that I gave her credit for. And

19:43

she's she's once she broke three free of

19:45

scooter brothers, she started tossing a lot more

19:47

swears in her songs. Wow. more

19:49

swearing. No. I don't I don't want nothing where I'm

19:51

like, I don't like this thing that's popular, but

19:53

I completely fucking miss Taylor Swift

19:55

on every step the way. And it's I too. Yep. The

19:57

only thing the only ill like, I don't I

20:00

honestly don't it's like I feel the way about her

20:02

music that dogs feel about televisions. Like, it's a

20:04

sort of a thing that I'm loosely aware of and doesn't

20:06

really upset me one way or the other. One thing that

20:08

did piss me off is she they posted photos of

20:10

her fourth of July party, and it

20:12

looks like a fucking pottery barn catalog. And I was like,

20:14

was that the one where they had the inflatable swans?

20:16

I don't think it was no.

20:18

It wasn't that interesting. It was just like the most fucking

20:21

vanilla fucking Martha Stewart shit. And it was like, if you got a bunch of

20:23

money, do something interesting. And if you're famous, fucking

20:25

have fun with it. And if you're gonna

20:27

publicize it, like,

20:28

don't waste everyone's what is the fucking value of this? And it wasn't

20:30

even, like, oh, here's, like, it was, like, very much,

20:32

like, professional professionally photographed.

20:35

Like, oh, take a look at this book. Fourth

20:37

of July party is like, fucking go

20:40

go have your vanilla ice cream in peace. Leave us

20:42

alone. Rest of us trying to block shit

20:44

off. Vanilla ice cream. I

20:45

don't, you know, I don't mind

20:48

Taylor Swift. I don't I

20:50

know probably all of her, like,

20:52

big hit but this album was

20:54

something where I feel like I don't know. I

20:56

guess, I've I

20:58

feel like I've really missed

20:59

album launches, like, big

21:02

like, I listened to the new Beyoncé

21:05

album, Renaissance, like,

21:07

six months after it came out. And

21:09

I was like, oh, yeah. This is

21:12

good. But I don't really like

21:14

lean in, so I tried the

21:16

t swift stuff. It's

21:17

fine. It's albums. albums

21:20

launch at least for us in

21:22

California, like nine PM on

21:24

Thursdays. a lot. So is that is

21:26

that what the timing is? Yeah.

21:28

And is this midnight on the Holy shit,

21:30

because That that's that's, like, full on

21:32

getting ready for bedtime for this whole business. So,

21:35

like, I've I've done a thing a bunch of times recently

21:37

where I'll I'll, like, I'll get in bed and

21:39

put on, like, this, like, brand

21:41

new, you know, fucking hardcore

21:43

hip hop album and just kind of, like,

21:45

listen to it on my phone. Like, for, like, three

21:47

songs. Like, someone's calling me. I

21:49

literally know that people like, it makes perfect sense

21:51

because we do, like, midnight showings and movies, and we do,

21:53

like, one of the things premier. I just realized I

21:55

don't listen to enough new music this has

21:57

ever been a thing for me. Yeah. I have

21:59

never thought about that. I have never listened

22:01

to a new album digitally. Like, when it

22:03

drops, like, been, like, oh, it's gonna when is it

22:05

premiere? Like, you know, fucking preloaded

22:07

games, whatever, like, watching -- Right. --

22:09

just the second it goes up for

22:11

all of the forms of medium, like, media totally, but I

22:13

just don't really

22:14

i'm know I don't know. Most of

22:15

the time, I'm like, oh,

22:16

wow. This band I, like, put out a new album

22:19

in two thousand sixteen. I don't I don't know. This is

22:21

the second place. I

22:23

listen to a lot like, incredibly prolific

22:26

hip hop artists who put out

22:28

albums

22:29

like a

22:31

the lot lot, and they're really good

22:33

at promoting them. So they'll constantly just be

22:35

like, hey, surprise. Happy

22:38

Monday on Thursday night, I have a new

22:40

album coming out.

22:41

And I'm like, oh, shit. That fucking rules. And

22:43

I'm like, I'll just you can click, like, the preload button

22:45

or whatever on Spotify. then

22:47

I'll just leave it, like There's a reload. reload

22:50

button. You can do that. You can you can, like, you can

22:52

save an album. You can save, like,

22:54

theme. You could save, like, a single or something ahead

22:56

of time. It'll it'll ping you when, like, the full

22:58

records out. Like, Wow.

23:01

I think that's what video game tells you when there's

23:03

a concert in town, when they're having the boys

23:06

around and having a good time with the friends. I

23:08

think video game companies should just

23:10

be like, No news. And then they're,

23:12

like, surprises games out. It's

23:14

out tomorrow. I feel like that was That worked really

23:16

well for the center. Worked out

23:18

real well for the center.

23:21

Yep. I

23:21

mean, what the last game that did that was, like,

23:23

PT, I think, and that wasn't really even a game.

23:25

Mhmm. I don't I

23:27

don't I don't usually do, like, oh, hey, here's

23:29

the entire game. So prize that exists,

23:31

but now now and

23:32

then you get that. It's usually with, like, smaller shutter

23:34

remakes. They would do that. They did that with half

23:36

life three. They did that with quake on

23:39

Xbox. like, they were, like, surprise. You can play quake in fucking six

23:41

a hundred and twenty frames a second on it's

23:44

I think they do that regularly

23:46

for, like, bay I mean,

23:48

for beta's, which, like, every fucking game

23:50

is a beta now at this point. But, you know,

23:52

like Excuse me. We called gamers, Chris.

23:54

Oh, excuse me. Sorry.

23:57

Yeah. Everyone does that nowadays. You

23:59

can play a

24:02

game for a certain amount

24:04

of period. and

24:05

they tell you right there. But music

24:07

is so like, what's

24:10

the

24:10

discourse like? Am I

24:12

just debt. Like, where do you have conversations

24:14

about new albums that -- Exactly. --

24:15

like, Twitter, I'm in I'm in a couple

24:18

of, like, DM threads on with

24:20

some friends who, like, get pop. You're an you're an

24:22

idiot. And we'll -- Those were all -- message each

24:24

other. I'll I'll I'll text friends or

24:26

family members who are in into the same

24:28

music as me and be like, hey, this this thing just

24:30

came out or they'll they'll let me know. I try to

24:32

be on it for the most part. I think

24:34

that's the one

24:34

thing I really missed

24:36

out on is, like,

24:39

being a music person. Mhmm.

24:41

Like I

24:41

wish I was much better at being

24:44

on top of going to concerts and stuff.

24:46

I literally forget half of the time when I'm

24:48

like, oh, that's a good concert that I should go

24:50

to. And then take it to, like, six

24:52

hundred dollars. Yeah.

24:52

I I barely go see concerts anymore. I

24:54

mean, that's, like, I but the thing is I went I

24:56

went to, like,

24:57

hundreds inches.

24:59

my teens into my twenties. So I so that's okay.

25:01

I mean, the thing -- Yeah. -- but music is

25:04

like it musicians age at the

25:06

same rate that you do, in some cases, much

25:08

faster. Mhmm. And there's that thing

25:10

where it's, like, I don't know, seeing

25:13

I don't

25:13

know. Seeing somebody who's fucking young

25:16

and energetic when they're young and energetic and you

25:18

are too. It's like, okay. Cool. And it's like fast

25:20

forward twenty five years and

25:22

you're like, No. I'm good. Like, we were gonna

25:24

go see rage against the machine. We

25:26

that

25:26

kept getting kicked down the road, and then it

25:28

kicked a

25:28

little bit too far down the road, and Zachula Roca

25:30

Torre tenant in his Mhmm. Which and we

25:32

looked it up. We're, like, oh, Tomorello's almost sixty.

25:35

Like, sixty. We got it now they're

25:37

raging against the machine because they can't figure

25:39

out how to turn the machine. Pretty

25:41

much. That's it. No. I mean, it was

25:45

yeah. Like, we were we were, like, we we should go fucking

25:47

go, like, get go have a good time. Get angry. Get drunk

25:50

drunkards. We're supposed to like like straight

25:52

up all tickets and then COVID happened, and they

25:54

postponed the show by two years. and

25:56

then Dale Rooker heard his leg in, like, the the

25:58

first leg at no pun intended first leg

26:00

at the tour. And

26:03

then they just call the whole thing off. And we're like, well, we

26:06

tried. You know, like, I'm I'm sorry. Wasn't the tech,

26:08

like, a little bit relieved because you're

26:10

like, well, that did sound

26:12

like fun, but also I I'm

26:14

tired. Yep. You know what I you know what I'm

26:16

thinking about? That he said

26:17

to the doctor, thank you. I'm gonna do

26:19

what to tell me. Thank you.

26:21

I'm gonna do what to tell me. I

26:24

found

26:24

out that the Both

26:26

my side is in both my Nice.

26:29

You guys know about sleepy time

26:31

tea. Right? With the bear -- Yeah. -- with the bear. They make

26:34

a stronger they make a stronger version.

26:36

That's good. I learned that. heroin. I didn't go to overdose

26:38

in whiskey syrup. It's just

26:40

fine now. It's gonna be

26:42

heroin. Yeah. Stronger, sleepy

26:45

What? What is what? It's it's the bear it's

26:47

the tea bear. They have a new one that's,

26:49

like, stronger. What? They make The

26:51

only bear that I know

26:53

is your coffee paint. It's on, like,

26:55

toilet paper and diapers. So you

26:57

said we got there? The Celeste. You don't know when

26:59

he's a poo? Sleep. You

27:01

you know don't No.

27:02

Which a pujas?

27:03

i suppose

27:05

They're that tea company, and

27:07

they don't have any fucking style guide or

27:09

The celestial logo. The celestial

27:12

seasonings. Yeah. Yeah. I

27:14

that's that's the name of the tea company. The dudes

27:16

like they're not famous. Yeah. They have the the

27:18

bear that's a sleepy time bear, and then they have, like, red

27:20

zinger where it's, like, a lightning bolt coming out of

27:22

a fruit or something. And then

27:24

they have Yeah. That gross again. A joke

27:26

that Jen sent me today and

27:28

said that was me and I literally had

27:30

no

27:30

context about what this is.

27:33

Yep. Now now you've understand it,

27:35

Joe. Yeah. forty

27:37

year old drawing of a bear -- Yeah. -- never

27:39

will. Yeah. The bear is wearing

27:41

Ryan's evening outfit when he

27:43

goes to e three. Make Well, like

27:45

a peppermint one that has a dragon on it. I remember

27:47

when I was so five years old being, like, this

27:49

looks like a fucking sick tea and we got it. I was like,

27:51

this is a tea. This is tea. This sucks.

27:54

I don't wanna drink this. What I love about this bear is

27:56

he sat down for a whole last night and he

27:58

was like, alright. So I'm gonna have my tea and I'm gonna

28:00

have my muffins with marmalade.

28:03

and I'm gonna have my my my my fire on

28:05

and all that shit, and then he just passed

28:07

the fuck out. Like, he he was like, he

28:09

had a whole night planned, but

28:11

was that that red cap. You put that red

28:14

CBS cap on somebody. You take off their

28:16

their underwears. add

28:19

it? Yeah. You take out your underwears. You get your bare

28:22

legs and you wear a big ass shirt with two buttons and

28:24

a red cap. You'll pass the fuck. You could have a whole

28:26

you could your a waiter could bring you

28:29

lobster. with butter

28:31

and everything, piping hot.

28:33

Right? Everyone in the restaurant's clapping.

28:35

Make with that hat here.

28:37

You've passed out. You've passed

28:39

out immediately. You wouldn't even get

28:41

you won't even get the crackers at, the crack

28:43

open the left Wait.

28:45

The more I see of this

28:47

image, I'm just confused by

28:49

it. This thing has

28:51

Have you seen Oh, have you seen

28:53

this image in specific? Okay.

28:56

Let me

28:56

paste this later, MP3 player.

28:58

This entire? No. No. No. No. No. How do I

29:00

know about this dude? No. No.

29:02

No. No. Please please hold.

29:05

Just hold. I'm gonna

29:07

send it right now. It's a Berry's

29:08

in a blue coat. He's got a red hat.

29:11

each marble erection. Okay. Look at

29:13

this photo. Okay. Please

29:16

explain what is described into this

29:18

audience. So in in this

29:20

picture, there

29:21

This is why so the bear the bear is

29:23

sleeping through his marriage, and the wife is fed up,

29:25

and she'll leave me with the kids. But

29:28

but then

29:28

there's two more kids asleep in the

29:31

bedroom and they also have

29:33

a pay Those are

29:34

legitimate. They're

29:36

a legitimate That's from his second family that he's

29:38

he's having an affair. There's

29:41

also like

29:41

a cat by the fireplace.

29:44

You know what I mean? also, like,

29:47

another bear toy. So that

29:48

yeah. Don't you don't you don't you

29:50

don't you when you were a kid right on

29:52

that human on all fours. Thank you very

29:55

much. What? naked

29:57

human on all fours for you?

29:59

I mean,

30:02

but I it looks like pop pop had, like,

30:04

a couple too many, and he passed out the

30:06

chair.

30:08

And then he has a

30:09

picture of his great, great, great grandfather,

30:12

the polar bear, just hanging up in

30:14

the corner.

30:14

That's funny. four's. I don't Like,

30:17

also, the the great thing is it's not

30:19

even late. It's, like, eight thirtieth. Like,

30:21

it means, like, about about

30:24

Mhmm. Well,

30:24

see, the mom is visibly living with the kids. This looks

30:26

like you asked an AI to draw a

30:28

gas leak. Yeah. He

30:33

I like the bears mouth because he it's, like,

30:35

folded his lips are full he looks like he got

30:37

just he she got shot by an Italian guy in,

30:39

like, a mafia movie. Like, it was

30:41

just, like, sitting in his chair and somebody in and just, like,

30:43

snuffed him. because I think he's faking it. I think

30:45

he's got that sly little smirk because he's

30:47

pretending to be asleep. He's

30:49

got he's got the hat and the nightgown for

30:51

illustrative purposes. But he she's like, can you

30:53

help me put the kids to bed? He's

30:55

probably

30:55

like, The

30:57

photo is Kevin,

30:58

apparently. So the the

31:00

Do you have

31:00

him a car? What the fuck? Yeah. They

31:03

have a they have a bird that looks

31:05

like Satan apparently,

31:06

this is the the the

31:09

wow. Okay. So the box is

31:11

just a snippet of a whole

31:13

photo by artist Beth

31:15

Underwood from nineteen

31:17

seventy three. So what I'm showing you is

31:19

the actual photo. It's

31:20

a record It's a designer code of

31:23

celestial seasoning. Anytime. Anyway,

31:25

they make a sleepy time extra

31:27

starring to bear. It's made with

31:29

a calming valerian, which I put on my

31:31

sword and elven ring.

31:32

fight schools. I was gonna say that sounds

31:34

like you're dragon that you're

31:35

flying around. My

31:38

common polarity. Holy

31:40

shit. There's one where he's in a he's in

31:42

a boat. There's sleepy time

31:44

lavender and he's just in a fucking robot. He's got

31:46

like a viking funeral thing going on. He's in a

31:48

robot that's stuffed full of

31:50

lavender leaves and there's a whole ass owl

31:52

sitting on the end of the boat, and he's just asleep,

31:54

and he's adrift in a body of water.

31:56

Right. This person needs to I found

31:58

one that where he's he's

31:59

driving down the freeway. And he fell

32:02

fell asleep with the wheel. His wife

32:04

is panicked as she's trying

32:06

to to

32:06

I I wanna see that. I wanna look at

32:08

that horrific car accident. time t

32:10

for young professionals on the go.

32:13

They also have

32:14

a sleepy time honey he passed out on another treat.

32:16

They make one for kids. called

32:18

sleepytime

32:18

kids' Goodnight grape. Why

32:20

is

32:20

the okay. So now I

32:23

see why you said there's no, like,

32:25

art direction. My favorite kid's book because

32:27

Like, apparently, there's a random CGI

32:31

So that's all that's they

32:33

they they are cashing in on the popularity of this bear.

32:35

But, like He's

32:37

a

32:40

he's a meme. We're all talking about

32:42

him. No.

32:43

There's like So I can

32:44

tell you that there was an original lineup of these

32:47

fucking teas. They changed the box layout a bunch,

32:49

but they used to have There

32:51

was, like, the wizard with the there was the dragon one.

32:54

And then there was, like, look up

32:56

what is it? Lemonzinger.

33:00

Yeah. Yeah. Lemonzinger just

33:02

is basically like I don't know.

33:04

It looks like if Dennis

33:07

Villeneuve made a movie about

33:09

giant fruit attacking. Like, it's just this menacing ass

33:12

fucking fruit showing up. Sorry.

33:14

I've entered the weird

33:16

part of the Internet I

33:18

don't know.

33:19

Wow. That was, like, two clicks.

33:22

So I was looking at images of sleepy

33:25

time bear. and then

33:27

I get served -- Oh. -- this

33:29

Etsy of huge

33:30

pillow plush, figure

33:32

human sized Christmas gifts

33:35

hug toy increasingly

33:35

Okay. Now you know what's great you know

33:38

what's great, Kristen. It's been a minute since you've

33:40

completely fucked up my algorithm,

33:42

and so I'm glad

33:44

I'm gonna get horrendous tart. This

33:46

is next this is fucking next

33:48

level. And

33:50

the closer optional,

33:52

he comes nude. Okay. So this is called

33:54

the loving bear puffy hug pillow

33:57

plus figure human sized Christmas gift

33:59

hug toy, easy

33:59

sleep pillow, sleeping support for me back

34:02

head, oh, is someone at

34:04

home? This is one of the worst things I've

34:06

ever seen. This okay. Let me let me describe this.

34:08

This is

34:10

a this is not

34:10

this is not furry stuff. I mean, it

34:13

could be Yeah. It's not furry

34:15

stuff. What I'm saying is this is not furry

34:17

stuff and that furry stuff is a

34:20

familiar design thing at this point. Like, we know what a furry looks like. This looks

34:22

so much scarier. This looks like the fucking bear

34:24

that's gonna get sticks stuck in the shining or

34:26

whatever. By the way, by the way,

34:29

if you scroll further, you get to you

34:31

get to one of these loving photos

34:33

of the bear and the girl

34:35

by the Christmas tree, in front of

34:37

a fireplace that says reading this is called

34:40

alfave, and it looks like a

34:42

children's book

34:44

about numbers. If you if you if you put clearly in

34:46

her twenties. If you put a Teddy

34:48

bears head on a

34:50

a college football player, and

34:53

then you asked Aubrey Plaza to pass out

34:56

on top of it, you would get

34:58

this Etsy listing.

35:00

It says, Robin Bear Puffy is a plush figure in the

35:02

shape and size of a male human body

35:04

with the head of a bear

35:06

half asleep. unique

35:08

and different from all sub toys

35:10

is his human body shit. Yeah.

35:12

That's there's a reason that

35:14

they're not, like, it's got fingers

35:17

it's got a lot it doesn't have pause. It has so

35:19

it has a little less feet that are just like

35:21

they look like socks. Horrible, flesh colored,

35:23

velour socks. And then it has fingers.

35:25

But the way they stitch them, it looks like they're just

35:28

they're backwards hands. They're What

35:31

is that? What is this what is

35:33

this line? His final look is

35:35

without clothing. How

35:37

is that? It's fine

35:40

as you get to

35:42

fuck them. That's his final one. four. Yeah.

35:44

That's his final one. You fucking The final

35:46

look is when he stands in the corner of your

35:48

bedroom, I can play

35:50

a way. I just That is one of the worst things I've

35:52

seen. This is what's with the glare

35:54

witch.

35:54

The worst part of it is they

35:56

have pictures of him

35:59

standing

35:59

up nude, I guess.

36:02

And the one the

36:04

one from behind -- Yeah. -- it

36:06

really looks like what

36:08

my, like, what my, like what

36:10

am I trying to say? My pair

36:12

my pair paralysis dreams

36:16

look like. Like, when I'm looking into the corner, that's

36:18

what's looking at me. This

36:19

is this is a weird warning, by the

36:21

way. It says attention in

36:24

all caps. Due to puffy's human figure and size, it will take

36:26

some time to get used to him, but we

36:28

assure you that very soon you will get used

36:30

his presence and will only enjoy

36:32

and cuddle

36:34

him. Why did they put that there? Like, did anyone buy this by

36:36

accident? Did he just show up somewhere? And

36:38

then they read the warning? I feel like if you got

36:40

this far, you're already, like,

36:43

That's a good idea. I don't have a lot going

36:45

on. They're honestly It's also beautiful to

36:47

see it. cheap. I know. That

36:49

is that is cheap. That

36:51

is an affordable fake corpse.

36:52

How much is that? Hundred and

36:54

fifty dollars. Fifty bucks. And you spend spend

36:56

a little more, you can get one of those twelve foot

36:58

skeletons from whom deep The

37:01

the scary part is is

37:03

in the suggested Oh,

37:06

the smaller items is

37:08

a

37:08

literal twelve to thirty

37:10

five inch PP plus

37:11

pillow, which is just shaped like

37:13

a Venus. Kristen, are you

37:14

seeing are you seeing the Luna fan

37:17

made plush, which is like

37:20

It's it looks like one of like if, if if we

37:23

if Sonic paid for sex. quipped

37:28

at it. No. There's there's another there's

37:31

the it looks like it's taking

37:33

place

37:33

in the same

37:36

room. that the bear was in. Where she's on

37:38

the but she's bent

37:39

over the goat. Oh,

37:42

god. Oh, yeah.

37:46

and

37:46

I'm not not very stuck. So for those of you who are who are listening

37:48

and can't actually see this, you are

37:50

you are living your best life and your

37:52

I this will haunt me. I

37:55

don't wanna close

37:56

my eyes anymore. naked

37:59

naked photos

37:59

of him by the way. By the way, I love

38:02

the photo of

38:04

the girl you know, she's posing with her dick family.

38:06

And the poster behind

38:08

her says, I want the ocean

38:12

right now. I like the Christmas

38:14

photos of him. There's one she looks like she's

38:16

curled up in a ball. There's

38:18

really I don't wanna even describe

38:22

this to much.

38:22

It's it's it's really upsetting. The the the

38:24

bear is wearing a shirt that says

38:26

in

38:26

the most

38:27

plain non festive possible.

38:29

It's like a Christmas sweater. It's got a snowman in the radio, and then it

38:32

just says,

38:34

just snow.

38:34

a

38:39

So this is a this is

38:41

a mom that made this. But did she like

38:43

did she get her daughter to pose with

38:45

it too? Like, the I also also no. We're

38:47

talking about the we went back to the bear. I like

38:50

the idea of this person's

38:52

bedroom. They're

38:54

like, I'm gonna

38:55

put a Christmas tree on

38:57

top of my bed. I

38:59

just

38:59

wanna get the tree as close to the

39:01

edge of the bed as possible. when

39:03

I'm

39:03

sleeping with this bed. But the tree

39:06

is uncomfortably close to that bed. I

39:08

think it's a horrible way when I

39:10

really don't like. It's

39:12

really bad. You

39:13

guys, I just I'm

39:15

I'm perplexed by the

39:17

penis pillows. I'm still very much

39:18

That is a that is a sentence.

39:21

They have find smiley faces. I got to

39:23

set APS pillow in the

39:25

mail once. Did you? Yeah. The they

39:28

made that it came genital jousting,

39:30

which is very funny. And they made they made, like,

39:32

plushie, like, penis pillows.

39:34

They were they were, like, very, like, very,

39:37

very, like, nerf version of

39:39

it where it's like it's just kinda colorful and it's obviously phallic

39:41

but like cartoony

39:44

I guess.

39:44

i guess They

39:46

sent that to my work, my place of business. I really know what to

39:48

do about it. Oh my gosh. I'm

39:51

sorry.

39:51

I'm sorry. I

39:53

ruined my fucking

39:55

I'm

39:55

through it. So look, really, really bad. This

39:58

good thing about this is it's a smoke

40:00

screen. If we're doing any

40:02

Christmas shopping, because, you

40:04

know, if our significant others -- Oh. -- we snoop it

40:06

around, they're gonna be like, what is he what's he gonna get me?

40:08

And it's gonna be like, oh, I'm gonna be

40:10

like, oh, I'm gonna get there. Okay.

40:12

No.

40:12

There's there's Hello? No.

40:15

There's there's there's guys. I

40:17

just No. There's a second listing

40:19

with even more photos. Is

40:21

there really of of the

40:24

bear. Oh, the boyfriend

40:26

pillow? Yeah. The woman is on a date

40:28

with the bear. They're

40:30

having coffee on a beautiful

40:32

outdoor patio.

40:35

the And then

40:36

their holding hands. The

40:38

bear opted the bear opted for

40:40

a cardboard cup instead of the mug like this.

40:42

I don't like any of it. Let's stop looking at it. You

40:45

know, we can also not look at this

40:47

Yeah. Please. Let's not look at this.

40:49

Let's look at something else. There's

40:51

a video. In addition to this being

40:53

bad radio, it's also just bad a

40:55

bad time in general. all. I don't wanna

40:57

see it. Is

40:58

it some fact For any for anybody who's confused, we are looking

41:00

at epti listings where you can

41:02

buy a giant plush boyfriend

41:06

human plush

41:06

thing with a bear's head on it. Yeah. And

41:09

and pretend it's It looks like if

41:11

you're going from Luke Mann haunted the

41:13

Build A Bear factory. like,

41:16

he crawled up through those tubes and tried to eat your asshole. What

41:18

is this? This lady mails these things out.

41:20

Does she go to the, like, UPS? And they're

41:23

like, what's in this? It's

41:26

a bear, but it's also kinda like a man. I don't believe to do

41:28

that. She just says lady at all. She says don't

41:30

scan it, please. Don't put it in the x-ray.

41:34

I do not believe that this is a a an actual mom somewhere. I feel like this

41:36

is a bizarre company of, like, I don't

41:38

know, dudes in track suits in a very

41:40

depressing place who are all smoking inside.

41:43

So we're the world's weirdest money

41:46

laundering operation. Maybe

41:48

yeah. Maybe they're full of cocaine.

41:50

Okay. Well, they've sold they've sold six

41:53

of them. Six. Wow. Yeah.

41:55

That's a whole that's a

41:57

whole PlayStation five. think there's six of these fucking things

41:59

out there breathing my air. Anyway,

42:06

you want I'm glad we Blah

42:08

down that BARE Hole. Don't

42:10

say BARE Hole. Max Christmas is coming

42:12

up. Do you got do you want one?

42:14

I want that shirt that says just snow. Trust

42:19

me. Don't know. It's

42:22

a shirt, and don't tempt me. I might get you a shirt.

42:26

Alright. I

42:26

get I've bought

42:27

very stupid shirts for people. I know. You've

42:29

bought very stupid

42:32

shirts period. Well, yes. That's true.

42:35

Got

42:35

it. Shall

42:37

we answer

42:39

a question before

42:41

we wrap up? What kind of brain busters

42:43

do we have in the old bucket?

42:45

Let's

42:45

see. Let's see. What are the big boys

42:48

are saying? Oh, reach into the old

42:50

question

42:50

button. Let's see. Let's see. What are the

42:52

big boys -- What is sort of the boys?

42:54

-- do we have?

42:56

Okay.

42:59

You got a lot

43:00

of new questions for the

43:02

month of November. I deal. I

43:04

got some questions for the month of November. Like, why

43:06

are you here? And why won't you leave?

43:08

Why would

43:09

you say that? That's your birthday. We thought that we needed a

43:11

month between

43:11

Okta and between Halloween and Christmas. It'd

43:13

be busy. Oh. For

43:16

a month.

43:16

none It

43:18

is a filler month. There's no there's no there's no Exactly.

43:20

It's a shit month. Fuck this month.

43:24

Okay. This

43:24

is a weird one that I only

43:28

think the three of you can answer for Would you

43:29

fuck a giant man right over

43:32

there? Blar.

43:36

blar? Blar. Yeah. Blar.

43:38

Blar. Okay.

43:41

Horrors come

43:44

back big

43:44

this year. Horrors. Horrors. Oh,

43:47

horror. It's not Horace. Wars

43:52

back big this year. People

43:54

come back Course are back this

43:56

year. Possibly also true. The

43:58

big time wars are back this

44:00

year. Horace is this

44:02

favorite horror? Oh my god.

44:03

Horace. Horace. Horace.

44:06

Horace come back big

44:08

this year. barbarian Why would

44:10

they not They don't even more podcast awards, forbearance.

44:13

forbearance. That's alright. guys.

44:16

Very, very helpful. I hate you. I hate

44:18

you. Shut up. In what ways,

44:21

did it positively impact

44:23

your side hobbies? Max,

44:26

painting, brides, music, etcetera. What

44:27

was the question? What? How how

44:30

has

44:30

horror? Anyone in your script? It's horror.

44:33

positively impact your hobbies

44:34

this year? I sampled a lot

44:36

of, like, really ancient horror movies on my new

44:39

album, and that's been very

44:39

fun. So I got I got to watch a lot of Have

44:42

you really? Yeah. Yeah.

44:43

It's it's almost entirely, like, horror

44:46

themed horror themed horror

44:48

stories. Big time horror stories.

44:52

time. You know what?

44:54

Poor

44:54

this year. I I don't think I've

44:57

talked about this here. Man, this is the

44:59

year twenty twenty two. It's here they

45:01

just decided to take to to to kill all the

45:04

classic slashers.

45:04

Twenty twenty two just killed

45:07

them all. Why? Texas championship. twenty twenty two. I was like,

45:09

oh, boy. I was like, twenty twenty two is gonna be

45:11

great. Look at all these things that are that are

45:14

gonna come out. Oh, this is gonna be a

45:16

good year. Texas chainsaw

45:18

massacre comes out. Mhmm. It's the worst

45:20

movie in the franchise. Oh, that's

45:22

that's saying something. Yeah.

45:24

It it absolutely has They had some fun

45:26

kills in that movie. You hate it. What what about next

45:28

generation with Renee's algorithm?

45:30

It's worse. It's worse. No.

45:32

It's not. Yes. Yes. Oh, it is. No. We're

45:35

not gonna hit. The fucking bus scene,

45:37

the corn the cornfield scene, you're crazy.

45:39

Okay. Well, some of

45:40

the some of the kills were good, but the

45:42

movie around it was horrible. Yeah.

45:44

Welcome to Slasher's motherfucker kids. That's not

45:46

always fun. No. For this series, even

45:48

for this series, it was bad. Screen

45:50

five came out? That suck. Five screens came? I didn't

45:52

see three. Five. Yeah. It's not it's

45:55

not it's not very good. Season

45:57

a chucky just continues to get

45:59

worse. Right? And season one was already

46:02

terrible. Mhmm.

46:04

Howling ends Just

46:06

a movie from some other franchise?

46:08

No. It's it's awful. It's great.

46:11

III was

46:13

watching something with it. I was watching something fell

46:15

asleep, woke up three times in the middle of that movie. I

46:17

was like, oh, this is

46:19

this is wild. It's

46:21

really dumb. And it's a dumb way to

46:23

end those movies. And and then they and

46:25

they just announced that they're doing a

46:27

Friday the thirteenth prequel series about Jason's mom.

46:29

So -- Oh. -- the the most boring part

46:32

of of Friday the thirteenth. So Wait. The only one

46:34

that got

46:36

is that Yeah. But Oh, that's that's the Brian Fuller

46:38

one. Yeah.

46:40

Yeah. And he

46:40

is fucking Hannibal. So Yeah.

46:43

That dude So so what's a point of perspective? The

46:45

other things that guy was involved with, we see what

46:47

kind of stuff What he made a handle? finished. Which is

46:49

a prequel and was which

46:52

is amazing. Right. What if it's what if it's just a a drama

46:54

about the the perils of

46:56

running

46:56

the Children's summer

46:58

camp? That'd

46:59

be you know Okay. So under that Actually, it

47:01

would be great. lend themselves very well.

47:03

Would you like Batesville,

47:06

Texas series? I never

47:06

watch Beach Motel. Okay. Just a regular show about a motel,

47:08

you know? The scream the screams the

47:10

scream series. It really is. My

47:13

side, that wasn't good. I

47:15

think I watched two seasons at Bates Motel when

47:17

I was like, alright. So the boys strange, but

47:19

I know where that goes. And you guys got anything

47:21

new and they're like, nope. I would love to

47:23

see a chat with a special

47:26

prequel that's just about the people who die

47:28

before they get there, and it's just like

47:30

a fun, like, friend friend movie,

47:32

you know. like,

47:32

just take, like, the fucking camp counselors at Friday the

47:35

thirteenth before there are any

47:37

problems whatsoever. Mhmm. This

47:40

is the first

47:43

twenty minutes of every slash No. I'm saying that

47:45

should be I want entire movies that

47:47

are that what do they do when they're at home, you know? Oh, then This

47:49

is just about a cold, cold,

47:52

cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold,

47:54

cold, cold, cold, or We just

47:56

I I has any like, has

47:58

a Slasher film, like, full on done the, like,

48:00

a one to one Scooby

48:02

Doo

48:03

breakdown where it's like There

48:06

is a movie called

48:08

Saturday Morning Massacre that

48:11

is supposed to be like a a whole

48:13

full body Scooby Doo reference. Yeah.

48:16

Okay. I don't know. I guess I'm just curious

48:17

to see like, well, how

48:20

do you what's what's the what's

48:21

the mature realistic approach to how those how

48:23

those fuckers handle everything? Mhmm.

48:25

because it's, like, the

48:28

most nonsensical their entire

48:30

their entire dynamic doesn't doesn't work.

48:32

Like, it's just the fact that they're, you

48:34

know, like, how did that business

48:37

start? I don't know. They, you know, they got a van together. this

48:39

van. Look at this one. How does it even make

48:41

it Clearly Max, he didn't watch a pup

48:43

named Scooby Doo.

48:46

I guess the Actually, I guess, don't see Or the don't see a lot of, like, you

48:48

don't see a lot of, like, actual school,

48:50

money, hand over fist happening.

48:53

No. In that world. Right? Like, there isn't really a scene

48:55

at the end where the cops are, like, dude, good

48:57

brother. Like, friends, like, god, here's your

48:59

invoice. Yeah. No. That never happens.

49:01

Actually, I watched one of the

49:04

more recent ones recently with my kid, and

49:06

it was, like, legit fucking

49:08

scary. For for, like, a kid saying it was

49:10

the scarecrow one? And --

49:12

Mhmm. -- it's this scarecrow that lives in, like, a

49:14

corn maze behind this, like, Redneck

49:16

town. Mhmm. And he has

49:18

basically just, like,

49:20

gigantic blades for him. Is this the one

49:22

with Velva's girlfriend? No.

49:22

No. I don't think so. I think that this

49:25

was this one was pretty much just

49:27

like the gang goes and fucks around and, like, you're trying to guess who it

49:29

is the whole time. So it was one of the cops.

49:31

You know? Hey,

49:32

you know, also,

49:34

mysteries incorporated. Like,

49:36

that I don't know.

49:38

That seems like a very convoluted

49:42

business

49:42

structure for what they have. How come? They

49:44

probably went through Delaware. It's probably, like, an s

49:46

quick love you. Oh, shipping and

49:48

l l shipping and mystery LLC.

49:51

Just saying, how does

49:53

that work? I don't know. Yeah.

49:55

I got it. That's

49:58

all. I got it through legal Zoom. I love it.

50:00

You you said you had to spell out mysteries

50:03

incorporated, like, Mystery is Inc. I don't

50:05

know. Yeah. Sorry. Sorry, Max. No. That's

50:07

a good point. I love it. It's like, oh, it's just

50:09

they could have been an LLC. It's you know,

50:11

seems overkill. Yeah. seems like

50:13

it'd be more straightforward. He don't seem to have, like, a lot

50:15

of business sense. I love Scooby Doo.

50:18

I think it's a great it's a great I

50:19

do not either they don't Well, there's the invoice

50:21

and they're like, you gotta pay Shaggy's food

50:24

tab? That's insane. Well, that dude is

50:25

you see what was

50:27

going in, like, haunted ass houses

50:29

and going down in the basement and being like, I made a

50:32

quadruple cheeseburger. And you're like, well, how old

50:34

does that meet my

50:36

friend? Like, That shit has been down

50:38

there for thirty years. Well, if there's that and the fact that he swallows

50:40

it in one bite. Mhmm. That's

50:44

the other concerning aspect of I guess, I wanna see that I wanna see that in

50:46

live action done completely straight faced

50:48

where, like, the dude is so scary

50:50

he goes downstairs and he

50:52

finds rans to meet, and he makes

50:54

this enormous sandwich, and then he tries to eat --

50:56

Yeah. -- check out the Nathan's hotdog eating

50:58

competition on fourth of

51:00

July. Yeah. putting Chestnut

51:02

and Kobiyashi, they go in there, they

51:04

fight each other eating the everyone, but that's

51:06

That's they have a reason to be there. That makes

51:08

sense. but it's just two day though. That's one man

51:10

who's there to solve mysteries and he decides to try

51:12

to fuck around and do competitive eating at a

51:14

basement instead. That's weird. That's a

51:17

weird choice. I don't know.

51:18

It's a it's

51:19

a it's a like a stress thing

51:21

for him. Like, it's it's very clearly,

51:23

like, tied to the to to

51:25

to Yeah. He's he's stressed out, and he smokes a shit little weed, and then he eats

51:27

big sandwiches. I get it. Mhmm. Well, they like, the

51:29

friends, like, you guys go down there in the basement

51:31

and deal with that.

51:34

Go shit. and they'll lay pipe. For yeah. For some odd reason, there's

51:36

always there's always a kitchen in the basement of a

51:38

haunted house. So they

51:40

make a ton of sense, but they make it work. Those boys

51:42

will eat

51:44

Ghost Ghost gotta eat somehow. Mhmm. Does

51:46

does Shaggy ever

51:47

because it takes up to see

51:50

everyone. Wow.

51:52

Let's Does he get laid out? I

51:54

mean, Fred does. I mean, him and Scooby, they got

51:56

it they got some deleted scenes. I feel like he

51:58

there's like a love interest on, like, some of the

52:00

movies, like, Zombie Island or whatever. Yeah. It's it's always

52:02

like some woman who's like a like a

52:05

part time employee at a bed breakfast or something, and

52:07

she's like, listen, I I'm in a this

52:09

is a small town with no prospects. don't

52:11

wanna google Shaggy girlfriend because I feel like Remember

52:13

in the first movie that his his girlfriend it

52:16

was this woman Mary Jane -- Oh, Borat's

52:19

wife? Oh, was that was that -- Yeah. -- dad's

52:21

wife. Oh, okay. There you go. Oh,

52:24

Shaggy has a girlfriend. Okay. Mhmm.

52:26

This girlfriend is

52:27

weed. I get it.

52:28

i get it Yeah. Yeah. Do we have

52:30

any other questions? I didn't answer that one. I

52:32

haven't I don't

52:33

know. You guys went

52:36

on a

52:36

Wild, Dan. No. I like to I like to have you painted I like to

52:38

draw monsters. I painted a picture of Ram de

52:40

vacuous spider, but I that's not really

52:42

a horror movie. I don't know.

52:45

I built an entire

52:45

little miniature figurine of

52:48

Ram. Yeah. I don't know. I don't I don't

52:50

really do I like a Ram

52:52

hack, if you will. There

52:54

we go. No. No. No. No.

52:56

I don't. III

52:58

feel like good horror doesn't really

53:02

it's typically like, I don't know. Part of me is, like, I should make a miniature of

53:05

that pyramid from midsummer, but I also oh,

53:07

wait. No. I was totally gonna make

53:09

a fucking Florence Pew figure

53:11

because I had the Yolanda Belova Marvel

53:14

Legends figure, and I bought a bunch of those

53:16

miniature flower things. And I was like, oh, I'm I'm stunned.

53:18

You remember that woman seeing from

53:20

that movie? Yeah. I don't know why

53:22

I know that. I think I had to watch it twice for not for work. Got it. For work.

53:25

I don't know. Okay.

53:28

One more. I

53:32

don't know. I can't read all of

53:33

this, but let's see.

53:36

Okay. Noot. yo,

53:38

have you ever been excited to play watch

53:41

a thing but in it

53:43

triggered but something

53:46

in it triggered or affected you in a way that

53:48

stopped you enjoying it. I

53:50

really like I really wanted to

53:52

play tofu recently

53:54

until I saw the gameplay trailer with

53:57

all the hitting people with

53:59

sticks that

53:59

reminds me of when a

54:02

guy, what,

54:04

Tried to

54:04

kill me with a stick. Oh, cool. And I

54:06

was just like, shit. I guess I can't

54:09

play that now. Basically, has your

54:11

brain ever gate keep kept

54:13

you from something. You

54:15

know, otherwise If that came

54:17

freaking out, he's gonna

54:19

fucking hate baseball. But

54:22

also he

54:24

signs off with love you. Hope

54:26

you're having a good day, Max.

54:28

So that was a straight Yeah. It's a straight you know,

54:30

straight send to Max. Okay. Not the

54:32

rest of us. You know, I wish Max. Hope

54:34

you're having a good day, Max.

54:38

Happy Happy birthday. Happy birthday. Happy birthday. Happy birthday.

54:42

I don't

54:42

know if anything has triggered

54:46

me in that sense.

54:48

I do

54:48

feel like there's movies

54:51

occasionally where I

54:53

will end up finding out something about the

54:56

actor or an

54:57

actress that, like, is enough where I'm just like,

55:00

you know

55:02

what? I'm not gonna fucking watch that anymore. Oh,

55:04

Kevin

55:05

Spacey. Yeah. Like, I mean, that's

55:07

like a very severe

55:10

one But yeah, there's like some scenarios where I'm just like, you

55:12

know, there's no reason for me

55:14

to support that. Like, Kanye

55:17

West, for example, could

55:19

probably argue about this up and down

55:21

until the cows come home.

55:22

No. You're glad to shit. Skip the shit.

55:24

But

55:25

yeah. But I just, like, can't

55:27

listen to this anymore. You're

55:29

great. Yeah. Yeah. So I

55:31

think there's there's definitely scenarios like

55:33

that where you just yeah.

55:35

Put you on. I'm pretty sure I I yelled

55:37

at you guys like Brian time, you're talking

55:39

about Kanye West, and I was like, why are you listening to man's stuff? Stop supporting

55:41

him? Stop supporting anything he doesn't. You were

55:43

like, you're crazy. What? Me? I mean,

55:45

I What? My years

55:48

ago years ago well, how many years

55:50

ago? I got I got off I got off that

55:52

dude's train, the fucking the second he put

55:54

the mega hat on. I don't

55:55

it was probably before that,

55:58

Brian. What

55:58

Well, we've it was probably before he went I

56:00

don't think I've actively bumped bumped his shit

56:02

since, like, college dropout. Well, that is literally trying

56:05

to fucking catch hands. Right?

56:07

I don't even have receipts. Like, are

56:09

you fucking kidding me? Also, maybe it maybe

56:11

it's on the podcast somewhere.

56:13

don't know Yeah. Maybe maybe you made it up. Maybe it's

56:16

mabelle. That that kind of

56:18

that kind of documentary in Netflix did my

56:20

friend, Doug

56:22

Infinite, dirty. Alright.

56:22

He's a he's a nice man. Doug Infinet?

56:25

Yeah. He he gave Kanye a start, but

56:27

then he made a diss track

56:29

about him in Chicago. He

56:31

he works at Lucasville now. Doug

56:34

Infinite. Doug Infinite.

56:36

Mhmm.

56:36

I I started playing stray,

56:39

that cat game. Mhmm.

56:42

Right after it was, like, right before

56:44

Comicon. It was right after

56:46

my dog took off running after a stray cat and then fucked up

56:48

his back. And then -- Mhmm. -- I was just I

56:50

sort of started, I was like, I don't really wanna play

56:52

this right now. And I like I think I texted

56:55

text of the thread around writing. We're like, yeah, I can't imagine why you'd

56:57

wanna, like, not play a game that opens with, like, a

56:59

a pet and a bunch of pain. And I was like,

57:01

oh, yeah. And also I'm kinda mad at

57:04

cats right now. Like, fuck. I don't know. I'm like,

57:06

hey. I'm good. I'm I'm I'll I'll pass, you

57:08

know. They're not great, not a great animal.

57:10

Yeah. What? Cats are fine. Yeah.

57:12

How many do

57:14

you have? Arguably none,

57:16

but Arguably you're Arguably.

57:19

Arguably, it's

57:22

a decisive

57:24

nightway. What what alley cat are you feeding?

57:26

Nightway. Here's the thing. We

57:28

do

57:28

have plenty of cats that live in the

57:30

neighborhood. I have tried to feed some

57:34

of them. But I grew up inadvertently with cat.

57:36

I've talked about this before.

57:36

Right. But, like you don't have any anymore.

57:39

Same. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Which

57:42

I suck.

57:42

Oh, no. I didn't I didn't own the cats. They just like

57:44

were born underneath my house.

57:46

Right. So you had enough

57:48

exposure to them to know that they're bad.

57:51

a new company. I know. But they're they're good

57:53

at a distance, and you like pictures of them here and

57:55

there, and use of local friends who have them.

57:57

But you will never ever ever adopt

57:59

on yourself. Got it. Nailed it. I'm right there with

58:01

you. Completely agree. There's

58:05

no debate there. I told I

58:07

was telling we had, like, two or three cats at any given moment for, like, ten or twelve years when I

58:09

was a kid, and I'm good on those

58:12

things forever. Those

58:14

things like, dogs do fucked up shit every now and then. Like, those

58:16

just, like, they'll, like, fuck a couch or throw

58:18

up on your control or whatever. Cats

58:21

are fucking demonic. Like,

58:24

cats will come in and just be like, we did a Satan piss ritual

58:26

last night. Like, we I made a

58:28

spray you didn't know I could do. Like,

58:31

They do fucking insane they're fucking insane.

58:34

They will fucking bolt out of the room into

58:36

a wall. They'll just jump five

58:38

feet in the air out

58:40

of nowhere from from sleeping, like they're

58:42

fucking insane. I will say I've

58:44

houseidded for more cats than I

58:46

care to like -- Hell yeah.

58:48

-- including

58:49

including Chauncey and

58:52

yeah. That sent

58:53

me well straight to Nevro.

58:56

Yeah. They know. Yeah. Chauncey's a

58:58

real shit. Did we we we I was just out

59:00

of a bitch. We house that for, like, an

59:02

absolute fucking psycho demented

59:04

cat a couple years ago.

59:07

that would just, like, be sitting there, you'd be petting it, and

59:09

all of a sudden it would just it would be,

59:11

like, purring, and and it

59:13

would just flip and get all of its claws out

59:15

directly into your arm. Mhmm. You you just feel like, oh,

59:17

a sweet cat watching movie in a bit

59:20

today. Like,

59:22

what if the fucking why? Just why? And and I've heard people listening

59:24

down to everyone who doesn't do that. It will.

59:26

It will. Right? I I will

59:27

say, III

59:30

do not know how to handle cats. Like, it's just, like,

59:32

not inherently in my nature. And

59:34

Braden made this funny observation

59:37

we were at a friend's house, and we were sleeping over.

59:39

And they had a very nice The cat was very sweet, very

59:42

friendly, gentle. And they were

59:44

like pick up the cat and I'm like, okay. So I pick

59:46

up the

59:48

cat. And I I don't know what to do with it because I've had

59:50

so many cats freak out in the

59:52

past and like attack me. And

59:54

so it clogged me slightly

59:57

And I was like, oh, okay. And I, like,

59:59

dropped it and

59:59

walked away. And to,

1:00:02

like, later that day, Braden was like,

1:00:04

it's so weird. you are more

1:00:06

comfortable with other people's,

1:00:07

like, newborn children

1:00:08

than you are with cats. Like,

1:00:11

how is that possible? And I'm

1:00:13

like, well, babies don't Want to

1:00:14

claw your eye out? No. Yeah. Sometimes,

1:00:16

but, you know On Typically,

1:00:19

it's not sure. Yeah. It's it's

1:00:21

cute

1:00:21

about it. Cat don't you

1:00:23

can't tell what they're gonna do. I Yeah.

1:00:24

Yeah. That's They're they're they're

1:00:26

they're psychotic. I'm sorry. Yeah. Babies

1:00:28

don't

1:00:29

have, like, these large talent.

1:00:32

No. They they they fucking

1:00:34

They have fingernails and

1:00:36

you can cut them without, like, a

1:00:38

bunch of people telling you that you shouldn't

1:00:40

do that. Right. This is also true. This

1:00:43

is So I think anyone says you shouldn't cut cat

1:00:45

claws. They just say don't declaw them

1:00:47

entirely. Right. Yeah. No. I don't know. III used to have

1:00:49

cats. Like, III understand you appeal to a certain degree,

1:00:51

but it also was like, I don't know, I had

1:00:54

a I had a PS

1:00:56

one too. you know, and

1:00:58

since getting a dog coming back. Those are

1:01:00

coming back, man. I appreciate it. Yeah. No. I mean, I

1:01:02

appreciate it to a certain degree, but almost, like, if you were,

1:01:04

like, you you can have APS4 or PS1 I'd

1:01:06

be like, I would prefer to have the PS four. I think I'm, you know Yeah.

1:01:08

Like, I'm dead. I have a dog that

1:01:10

is this fucking size and shape of a

1:01:12

cat. And

1:01:14

it's like it's fine. It's actually way cooler. He's

1:01:16

fucking awesome. He's like a little, you

1:01:20

know, he Like, a bird disease

1:01:22

disease shouldn't Oh, they're just better. In a

1:01:24

sticky a sticky rock fucking

1:01:26

rectangle in your in your

1:01:28

old room. Like Or does he go outside? Yeah. Yeah. When he goes

1:01:30

outside, he takes you know, he's he

1:01:32

has quick saves in cloud storage. I

1:01:34

think it's fucking fucking discuss.

1:01:38

Yeah. No. I don't know. He gets like, he sometimes, pee's in the house, but, like,

1:01:40

you know, it's it's like if we leave him on for too long. You know,

1:01:42

he doesn't like, my my

1:01:44

my cat we

1:01:46

we were in an apartment, the neighbor had a

1:01:48

cat, and my cat decided that to fight

1:01:50

that cat, it would try to piss through

1:01:53

the wall. So there was, like,

1:01:56

an entire, like, you know,

1:01:58

baseboard next to our door. It

1:01:59

was just caked and cat piss and before

1:02:02

her reput our shoes and so we had to, like, throw out, like, half shoes because,

1:02:04

I don't know, we're, like, let's wash them off and

1:02:06

then the cat went in the closet and found some of the

1:02:08

shoes that had cat piss because it was, like,

1:02:12

I

1:02:12

know they've got, like, fucking, you know, homing devices on

1:02:14

their own piss where they're, like, oh, that's my piss. I got

1:02:16

a piss more on my piss. Come in. Don't

1:02:18

do that too, but, like, cats

1:02:20

have I don't know. Cats

1:02:22

I think cats are worse about it. Also, cat

1:02:24

piss is one of the most unholy substances known to

1:02:26

make. Oh, yeah. It's obviously fucking worst.

1:02:29

because it's it's it's what what's in it's

1:02:31

like It makes

1:02:33

you go crazy.

1:02:35

Right? Oh, yeah. Yeah.

1:02:37

because, like, what is that that spray? Right? It's not it's

1:02:39

not just cap it's it's like is it like a

1:02:41

woman's squirt? Like,

1:02:41

it's like a various

1:02:44

Yeah. How dare you?

1:02:46

Well, what do you want to say? Here's the

1:02:48

two. But wow. I'm

1:02:50

I'm We almost had

1:02:53

to cut up a section of carpet that Chauncey pissed on when

1:02:55

he was sick. Oh my god. Just a

1:02:58

because it the smell was not

1:03:00

coming out. I think

1:03:02

I they I had to buy, like, some super industrial

1:03:06

catpiss. Mhmm. Separately. Catpiss.

1:03:10

Catpiss. There's In the zombie apocalypse,

1:03:12

people use catpiss

1:03:12

to keep the zombies away. Yeah. Yeah.

1:03:14

They they,

1:03:15

like, trade it

1:03:16

I would

1:03:18

rather die if you know it. I'd be I'd be fine. I'd rather die.

1:03:22

No. We have this drink cold. Oh my god. Yeah. It's

1:03:26

cold. nature's miracle

1:03:28

urine destroyer. You know,

1:03:30

like, that is two very different

1:03:32

bands from very different genres of music.

1:03:34

One of one of Nature's Miracles that I experienced with

1:03:37

with cash growing up is when they

1:03:39

all died and I --

1:03:41

Yeah. -- doubt can't.

1:03:44

No. They died of old age, all of them, which was which

1:03:47

by the way, is like fucking

1:03:49

seventy. And can't it Like,

1:03:52

they they live to be, like, twenty six

1:03:54

and they hold on with one

1:03:56

nail onto the fucking bitter last

1:03:59

second. and then they walk in the traffic and they die and they make it

1:04:01

seem like it was someone else's fault.

1:04:03

Like, they will they they

1:04:05

they leave at, like, two o'clock

1:04:07

in the morning, they go, wow. Wow.

1:04:10

Wow. And they make that noise, and they just

1:04:12

they walk into a car and they die.

1:04:14

And then, like, someone finds them in the they

1:04:17

don't even fucking die AAAA proud

1:04:19

death in the corner alone. They have to

1:04:21

go die somewhere strange You

1:04:23

need to find them and it's a tragedy. No. I always see them as

1:04:25

the last second campaign in the ass.

1:04:27

I exercise the way cats die, which is in

1:04:29

a weird place. with no one

1:04:31

watching, and I tell people that I can do it nine times, but really I only do

1:04:34

it once. the

1:04:38

nightmare, real nightmare animal. My cat like my cat that I had growing

1:04:41

up, she when she was, like, really just sitting on

1:04:43

her on her last leg, she just went

1:04:45

right behind the toilet. was

1:04:47

like, she just go to sleep there. And I was like, that's awfully.

1:04:50

And I like, animals do that a lot. I was like, I think dogs do

1:04:52

that too. They're just like I mean, with my piss

1:04:54

for, like,

1:04:56

I'm going to a weird place. That's how you know that I'm dying, and it's

1:04:59

I don't know. It's that's that's sad. But

1:05:01

yeah. I know. My my

1:05:04

dad used to refer to his old house as multi cat ranch because he

1:05:06

had this shitty old cat and it was on its

1:05:08

last legs and it decided to go open the

1:05:10

fucking it was, like, the ceiling

1:05:12

above the front porch where, like,

1:05:14

the porch light is inside of. It

1:05:16

somehow got up there and it just died.

1:05:19

So you'd, like, go up to his house and knock

1:05:21

on the door door. That smell. What's

1:05:23

your favorite story about a dog that went in

1:05:25

the ceiling to die? It's fucking never happened.

1:05:27

Never happened in the history of the

1:05:30

world. A dog is never on purpose gone in

1:05:32

the ceiling

1:05:34

die. to haunt a house forever. They don't do that shit.

1:05:36

They fucking don't do it. They go outside and

1:05:38

they piss and they die and they get it, you know,

1:05:40

whatever they get in trouble and

1:05:43

scrap scrapes and scrambles and such. We'll

1:05:45

have you this, but they don't kill them fucking

1:05:47

go and see them. God damn kill

1:05:49

themself. They probably won't

1:05:51

do them. Sealing. Just

1:05:52

like a hereditary what you're trying to eat is fucking are

1:05:54

you kidding me? Fucking

1:05:56

awful shit animal.

1:05:59

Good

1:05:59

lord

1:05:59

lord. Terrible.

1:06:02

Terrible.

1:06:02

Yeah. Okay. It's your

1:06:03

future, Scott. I think lions is

1:06:05

totally great though. When you go to

1:06:07

the

1:06:07

zoo and you see him and you could leave that's good. I

1:06:09

like that. Yeah. Or the

1:06:11

link what's his name?

1:06:13

Links. He's revolver

1:06:17

off I do with the fucking doctor robotic

1:06:19

eyebrows and shit like he's He's

1:06:22

covered. You know what? And it's a

1:06:24

it says it's on the front of those even state links, it says,

1:06:26

like, river cat -- Yeah. -- or some shit. --

1:06:28

basically, you know, the cat. They give him some

1:06:30

dumb fuck Mimi walks in circles all

1:06:33

day. Right. Big the cat. fake trees. He can't even reach

1:06:35

the ceiling to die in it because he's made

1:06:37

a glass. That's a

1:06:40

good cat.

1:06:41

Alright. Shelly and

1:06:44

I think

1:06:44

so. Yeah. That's because I'm

1:06:46

in the ceiling.

1:06:48

I'm going behind the toilet to go

1:06:50

to sleep. Sorry.

1:06:54

I just Why don't you have to do okay.

1:06:56

So, you know, sometimes I'll look at Facebook

1:06:58

while we're doing this

1:06:59

podcast. just I just wanna ask,

1:07:01

has anyone checked

1:07:02

on the people that

1:07:04

that that does five minute crafts

1:07:08

at, like, that create

1:07:10

video content for them. Are they all still They're

1:07:12

all they're all, like, trooned room.

1:07:14

Right? That's the same

1:07:16

people. Yeah. Are they alive? Like, I I

1:07:17

don't say I don't say that are you saying that one

1:07:19

that I saw recently? Was, like, five minute crap.

1:07:21

I was, like, bitch.

1:07:24

That's a two month craft, you're building a

1:07:26

pool. I just watched a

1:07:27

three minute video on things you could

1:07:29

do with Alvaro, but

1:07:32

I'm not sure any of that works, and I'm scared

1:07:34

for their own

1:07:35

people. really nobody really knows

1:07:37

what to deal with that, with

1:07:39

those people. Are they Is

1:07:41

this person someone, please, if you

1:07:44

were ever I mean, I can I can put it

1:07:46

together what it might be. But Oh, Troom

1:07:48

Troom? No.

1:07:50

You're

1:07:50

just It's like this weird, like, eastern

1:07:53

European, like, this this very

1:07:55

odd channel where they're like, hey,

1:07:57

here's how it's neat. treat

1:07:59

into class. And it's like cut off the

1:08:02

tips of all your markers and

1:08:04

hide chocolate in there

1:08:05

and the teacher. can't see you eat

1:08:07

it. Oh, geez. And it's all, like, weird crafts like

1:08:09

that. And it's, like, it's clearly made

1:08:11

in some, like, you

1:08:13

can decide whether or not you want to watch this video

1:08:16

that I just watch, but

1:08:18

the first opening Aloe Vera,

1:08:20

like

1:08:23

the hack, was a woman pulling down

1:08:24

her panties, putting a

1:08:27

panty liner, rubbing Aloe

1:08:29

Vera in the

1:08:32

panty liner and then putting

1:08:34

her panties on. And then the reasoning for it is it soothes

1:08:37

it soothes razor

1:08:40

rash. which

1:08:42

I'm like, isn't there, like, a hundred other things you could Who?

1:08:44

Yes. Yes. Larry?

1:08:47

They're

1:08:47

they're they're they're there

1:08:51

are. There are. But those crafts take six minutes.

1:08:53

This is a five minute craft.

1:08:55

Five just seconds. mean,

1:08:58

you can drink you can drink Aloe vera. I

1:09:00

didn't know that. Yeah. They make a they make,

1:09:02

like, a a drink. I

1:09:03

think they sell it at,

1:09:05

like, the

1:09:06

weird Walgreens that sell, like, Chinese drinks in the enrichment. Nice to get there.

1:09:08

I just I just I

1:09:10

just

1:09:10

wanted to end this with

1:09:14

Can someone just tell me that these people are

1:09:16

still alive? That's it. That's all I think.

1:09:17

they ever were. I think that might be

1:09:20

actually AI generated. The

1:09:22

people who film that video might be, but the people who put that stuff all over the vagina might be in a bad spot right

1:09:24

now. And

1:09:29

then, like, I I think that lady

1:09:31

that put it inside her and that drank a cocktail of it is probably not doing well. Alright.

1:09:36

Well,

1:09:36

on that note, thanks for listening to the

1:09:39

comedy buttons where you learn.

1:09:41

Where dreams

1:09:44

got true. where

1:09:44

you could buy a

1:09:46

boyfriend bear

1:09:47

or put Aloe Vera on your own job. Aloeira. I

1:09:51

don't like it. We went from sleepy time bear to

1:09:53

boyfriend bear, the one that

1:09:56

never sleeps. the

1:09:59

man that's awake all night

1:09:59

looking under Beaufortville and

1:10:02

up all the art. Who

1:10:04

wants

1:10:04

to

1:10:06

send this home by closing, oh, Ryan,

1:10:08

do you wanna do your little whisper ASMR?

1:10:10

No. No.

1:10:11

I wanna go I wanna go to

1:10:13

bed. I'm just gonna go come to a

1:10:15

micro machines. This thing. Alright. Big huge Ultimate Red

1:10:17

Zinger. Thanks to Chris Davis and Curtis Rusca. And the rest of you

1:10:19

get a little bit of

1:10:23

the the fuck is what is he doing? What is he doing? November eight. What are

1:10:25

you even fucking Kazoo? You would just get

1:10:27

you through recycling bin. Put that aside. The

1:10:29

tabs the tabs I have open at

1:10:31

the end of this It's,

1:10:33

like, shaggy girlfriend and, like, sweet beer. close all

1:10:35

of those tabs. Huge bear

1:10:38

to sleep with, man. Alright.

1:10:42

The rest of you Celeste, you'll see a little sleepy thanks.

1:10:48

Math problem. Aaron riding that fat hog,

1:10:50

Anglin, Benberg, Halter, Billy McCanci College Romero, Chip chunkling, is running this long his

1:10:52

long sensuous figure is through

1:10:55

a big spaghetti dinner. Chris

1:10:57

Campack, Chris near Connor Connor Mcdonald, Derek Cook, fair weather than a due to you, fair Spanish ladies, fair weather than a due to

1:10:59

you ladies of Spain,

1:11:02

Joe Reppes, Joshua Strel, Kevin

1:11:06

Garaventa, Jeff and Garaventa, make

1:11:09

gray rights dot com.

1:11:12

Moises Valenzuela, mister Han's gastroenterology

1:11:15

wing, nice jump BlueJeans and savage because

1:11:17

shit. Shit. Math. Jump,

1:11:20

BlueJeans. No. Ryan hit him

1:11:22

with a scream. Tayo, Paula Schultz,

1:11:24

Robin Meyer, Sam Peterson,

1:11:26

spaghetti Terronara, Taylor Gagnon,

1:11:28

the stumbling, stumbling, stumbling,

1:11:30

drunk, teach his fans high

1:11:33

And we actually got a request

1:11:35

from McCray writes, which is to not say this next one. We're

1:11:39

set to say, okay

1:11:41

search engine play, Yaki Saks, was Nuki. Okay. What did you say? What

1:11:43

about what do you

1:11:45

say? What do you supposed

1:11:48

to say?

1:11:48

Hey, Siri. Alexa.

1:11:50

Alexa. Alexa. Play Yaki Saks was newsky. Weird to

1:11:52

see. Now we're doing it.

1:11:55

Now we're sharing it. Alexa

1:11:59

purchased five thousand plastic bags.

1:12:02

Oh my god. Xbox,

1:12:04

turn

1:12:04

on. Xbox, play

1:12:07

Yackee, Sam's Christmas too. We are

1:12:09

not this

1:12:09

is it. No more. Those questions are as of

1:12:12

November eighth.

1:12:12

more we don't ever see that as of

1:12:14

nov eight's twenty twenty two. Thank you for listening.

1:12:17

Okay. Sorry. Are birds

1:12:20

real?

1:12:20

Don't even

1:12:22

don't don't do that. Don't do.

1:12:24

I'm gonna go to bed. I love

1:12:26

you. Hi. Happy birthday. Except to the cats. See you. Hip go. Hip go. Hip Hip go. Hip go. Hip. Hip.