0:00

Obviously we know you're a

0:02

gem and I already knew

0:04

that about you and that

0:06

you're from Cincinnati Ohio Okay

0:08

listing my disabilities That's

0:10

crazy Hey

0:16

everyone and welcome back to another

0:18

episode of the comment section show

0:20

starring me your favorite who cares

0:23

about me Who cares about me?

0:25

On to the guest today. We

0:27

have another iconic all-star the legendary

0:29

the multi-talented ER fight master

0:31

Whoo? Welcome back. That felt nice.

0:33

I bet That's what I do, I

0:36

just jerk everybody off just in the

0:38

beginning. Just a little. And then I

0:40

want kind of to be torn apart.

0:42

There you go. This is a takedown.

0:45

Build you up? Take you down. Yeah,

0:47

yeah, yeah. I'm so happy to have

0:49

you back. I have only grown more

0:51

and more obsessed with you in our

0:54

in our absence from one another. Like

0:56

watching you all year long, you know,

0:58

getting... Getting your book listening to

1:00

your but I chose to listen

1:02

that is because I wanted to

1:04

hear your voice It was horny

1:06

if you haven't heard It was

1:08

warning because it was

1:11

activism, but it was like We're

1:13

just funny because I've heard my my

1:15

voice I feel like I sound a

1:17

little cornball But I don't feel

1:19

like that when I hear my

1:21

voice and other things, just in

1:23

my book for some reason. I

1:25

don't ever need to hear my

1:27

voice, and I have chosen only

1:29

careers in which I'm going to

1:31

hear it all the time. And

1:33

every time I hear it,

1:35

I'm like, that's fucking gross.

1:37

You were telling me that

1:40

you've narrated audio books. And

1:42

you've done audio erotica. I've

1:44

done audio erotica, which was

1:46

hard. It's hard. Are you doing

1:48

fully at the same time? Like, if

1:50

you're like, if you're spanking,

1:52

you're like, I mean, you'd be surprised.

1:55

Well, it is weird also because I

1:57

was doing it with someone who was,

1:59

like. there in my headphones, yeah, okay.

2:01

It's like I'm listening to this like,

2:04

fem with this gorgeous professional audio erotica

2:06

voice and every once in a while

2:08

like she'll have a line of dialogue

2:10

and it'll come into my ears and

2:13

I'll be like, oh. Forget where you're

2:15

at for a second. Yeah. The noises

2:17

that like I make when I'm like

2:20

turned on are like, they're certainly not.

2:22

They're not registering the same way. No.

2:24

I'm acting, it's the hardest acting I've

2:27

ever done. I bet. And then

2:29

you narrated someone else's book.

2:31

I did. I narrated Corey

2:33

McCarthy's book with Manawar. And

2:35

it was this book about this trans

2:37

kid in Ohio. And that was hard

2:39

because it's three days in a cave,

2:41

as you know, for like 10 to

2:43

12 hours a day. And like I

2:45

was telling you. they like you're you're

2:48

reading for somehow two

2:50

hours straight and then suddenly

2:52

someone be like hey can

2:55

we stop you like that's

2:57

actually not how you say siz and

2:59

I'm fully like I fucking edit it out

3:01

Hey, fix it in post. I want to

3:04

keep going. I don't, I would, I did

3:06

start at the end of it. You know, you

3:08

go kind of insane at the end of it. I

3:10

was kind of like, well, why don't you

3:12

just, why don't you just say it? And

3:15

we'll dub an end. Yeah, you're going to

3:17

take over for me then. Why don't you

3:19

do that? Take the reins from me. Angela.

3:21

I don't care. What's funny is when I

3:23

did mine, I had the producer, she was

3:25

great too in my ear, and she did

3:27

stop me a few times. I think

3:29

the hardest part was when they were

3:31

asking me if I could record some

3:34

laughs. Every time they asked me to

3:36

do that, they have to be forced,

3:38

which inherently makes them corny. So like,

3:40

the amount of times I've had to

3:42

force my own cackle, and it doesn't

3:45

sound anything like my real laugh,

3:47

but I just kind of have

3:49

to give it to give it.

3:51

especially because like my

3:53

own laugh is like it's

3:56

a honk. It's like a

3:58

honk like a ha! Yeah, they're

4:00

like, yeah, that looks gross. Can we

4:02

try a different laugh? Let's do something

4:04

fun, natural, something a human would do.

4:07

Think regular human laughter. Can you do

4:09

that? Think less boat, more person. Well,

4:11

you are a successful actor, which we

4:13

didn't really get to talk about last

4:15

time you were here. because we were

4:18

in the middle of the strike and

4:20

we were being good noodles about it

4:22

but we didn't really get to talk

4:24

about your acting career but I am

4:26

now venturing into acting okay yeah this

4:29

year that's my new thing this year

4:31

I'll tell you about some of the

4:33

reads I've been doing after we get

4:35

off this episode they can't know that

4:37

yeah are you doing self-tapes yes and

4:40

I was I would love tips on

4:42

self-tapes because how are you holding up?

4:44

talk about corny yeah nothing feels more

4:46

corny than me recording than me recording

4:48

than me recording in my recording in

4:51

my own recording in my own home.

4:53

I literally told my fiancé because he

4:55

had to help me run lines the

4:57

other day. And I felt like, I

4:59

told him, I would almost rather just

5:02

go on to the set and just

5:04

get started. Because like, doing this is

5:06

like so much worse. 100% they are

5:08

so hard and their relationship destroyers. I

5:10

like in my last relationship I had

5:13

that person reading lines with me all

5:15

the time and somehow it always was

5:17

like we literally imploded you know what

5:19

I'm saying this this time I would

5:21

never let my partner I'm like I

5:24

want this I'm like I want my

5:26

partner I'm like I want this to

5:28

work I'm like I want this to

5:30

work yeah for the sake of our

5:32

future yeah we can't run lines together

5:35

it's the same thing it's like the

5:37

being corrected on your pronunciation or your

5:39

pronunciation Hey, do you want to, they

5:41

have an and there? Do you want

5:43

to pick that up? Or like, you're

5:45

like, we've been recording for four minutes

5:48

and you're going to stop my ass

5:50

because of an and? Get out. I'm

5:52

starting fresh. Guards, seize them. Yeah, that's

5:54

how I felt too. And I just

5:56

feel, it's funny because when I was

5:59

running the lines with my fiance the

6:01

other day, I felt like each pass

6:03

at it. He was getting more. Yeah.

6:05

And I was like, hey, can't go

6:07

ahead and die that back for me,

6:10

all right? You're off camera. Yes. All

6:12

right? Let me, let me, you're, you're

6:14

trying to outshine me on myself. You

6:16

can feel that for the right person,

6:18

or for the wrong person, really, that

6:21

they're like, okay, fine. Duh, duh, duh,

6:23

duh. Yeah. No, you can bring it

6:25

back up. Yeah. Yeah. No, it's so

6:27

hard. It's so hard. It's so hard.

6:29

It's so hard. And we really have

6:32

lost the opportunity. at the very end

6:34

of the process to go in front

6:36

of these people like physically and I

6:38

think it's so important like because my

6:40

iPhone is not capturing what like what

6:43

a TV camera can capture yeah so

6:45

I'm over here looking 5-7 you know

6:47

what I'm saying yeah and I'm lit

6:49

in my home I'm not a I

6:51

don't do lighting yeah so I look

6:54

like I'm wearing like I'm wearing like

6:56

I'm wearing like a brown mask on

6:58

this side to completely blown out I'm

7:00

5-7, I'm upset, like you can see

7:02

a shark painting in the background. I

7:05

know. All of it is taking everybody

7:07

out. If I can go in the

7:09

room, also it would prevent people from

7:11

sending me these sides that are like,

7:13

absolutely like demure secretary. I'm like, I

7:16

assure you I won't even fit at

7:18

your desk. And if you had me

7:20

in the room, you'd know that. Right,

7:22

no, for real. I started doing my

7:24

slate. I started doing it next to

7:27

my office door so they could see

7:29

like how big I really am because

7:31

I sometimes I'm like, I need you

7:33

guys to visually see I am a

7:35

big bitch. So like. If you're putting

7:38

me across from a man, it's gotta

7:40

be a tall one. Like I'm being

7:42

so serious. Because I stand next to

7:44

the doorframe so they can see just

7:46

how tall I actually am. It's hard

7:49

for tall women. I know. That's why

7:51

I did one thing, one like commercial

7:53

thing, but it was like a social

7:55

media commercial thing. And I remember telling

7:57

them I am tall. So like if

8:00

that matters optics, because I knew there

8:02

was a guy in the commercial too.

8:04

And they were like, okay, yeah. I

8:06

was like, I genuinely mean that, I

8:08

am tall, so if you're styling factors

8:10

that, like I would keep that in

8:13

mind. They were like, okay. They gave

8:15

me like a tall boot, so I

8:17

was probably like six three when I

8:19

got on the set. And then when

8:21

I got on, he's five six. So

8:24

then they had to, they made me

8:26

stand in socks and then they made

8:28

me stand in socks, like a little

8:30

rascal. Oh, yeah, I've done like sex

8:32

scenes where. they had the actor stand

8:35

on an apple box and this was

8:37

a woman but they were just like

8:39

hey it's looking scary which is weird

8:41

because they like that dynamic with heterosexual

8:43

couples they they like it and I

8:46

think they're always like trying to figure

8:48

out how like especially with like a

8:50

like this was You know, especially if

8:52

you're like a non-binary person like in

8:54

these relationships with women They're trying to

8:57

figure out how not to fully alienate

8:59

an audience while turning them on If

9:01

you look gigantic, that's too scary, but

9:03

we do want you to be taller

9:05

because you're the man But you're not

9:08

a man. You're the boy. You're kind

9:10

of like we kind of want like

9:12

Oh gosh, we kind of want like

9:14

Pete Davidson, but with like nice little

9:16

tits. Do you see what I'm saying?

9:19

Like he boy, so boy tall. Right.

9:21

You not boy, so you not tall.

9:23

Right. So there are going to be

9:25

rules, and I hope you're ready this

9:27

now. No, I'm so glad. I do

9:30

not envy for like having to go

9:32

out and stand next to men because

9:34

do you remember? That was on Netflix.

9:36

Oh, the tall girl. The tall girl,

9:38

the worst thing that could ever happen

9:41

in her life. Like when they were

9:43

fully like, she is tall, like it's

9:45

demented, right? Look at this freak! The

9:47

log line being like, demented freak tries

9:49

to survive. And you find it, it's

9:52

like... A beautiful 5-11 blonde woman. Right.

9:54

Cameron Brink. Okay. No for sure. She's

9:56

built like Cam Brink looks like her

9:58

and then they're like, look at this

10:00

circus freak. It's a story of survival.

10:03

Adversaries. Fighting against the enemy. And like

10:05

the big... I don't even, I don't

10:07

think I made it all the way

10:09

through because I was like, you know,

10:11

projecting too much on to it, but

10:14

like, a big turn is that she

10:16

is able to like bag a man

10:18

that's short and like doesn't hate her

10:20

for her disgusting size. And I'm watching

10:22

me and like this can't be, I

10:24

guess this is honestly what these studios

10:27

think about. Yeah, tall straight women or

10:29

just tall people in general. Yes. That

10:31

are not men. Like a studio, but

10:33

there are so many ideas that there

10:35

are so many ideas that. Creator friends

10:38

of mine have that they're like no

10:40

that sorry that's really complicated and they

10:42

saw this idea and they were like

10:44

we love this this really cements how

10:46

we feel about women this is this

10:49

story needs to be told yeah they're

10:51

like that's a story resilience sure but

10:53

have you ever been a tall girl

10:55

this is actually know what it feels

10:57

like to be a tall girl this

11:00

is the only DEI that will survive

11:02

they're like we'll see now we can't

11:04

get rid of a tall girl to

11:06

the tall girl. I remember in the

11:08

movie too, I know she says like

11:11

she had like a size 11 show

11:13

or something like that. Okay, Petite? Petite?

11:15

Petite? Petite? Petite? Yeah, for being a

11:17

tall girl, that's not even really that

11:19

big. Uh-uh, uh-uh. My feet are pretty

11:22

small for how tall I am, which

11:24

you would think is like, oh, Petite!

11:26

But it makes my feet look like

11:28

pegs and I hate that shit. Like

11:30

when you have brat stalls and you

11:33

take the feet off, that's what my

11:35

feet look like. You're falling over. Yeah,

11:37

I would rather than be a little

11:39

bit bigger so they balance my proportions

11:41

a little bit better, but whatever. I

11:44

remember one time I was, I had

11:46

it in college, one of my roommates

11:48

one year was a basketball player. And

11:50

she was like six five. And so

11:52

for Halloween one year, she had text

11:55

me and said like, like, like, like,

11:57

I think I could borrow some of

11:59

your like converse for my Halloween costume.

12:01

And I was like, yeah, I wouldn't

12:03

care, like, what size are you? And

12:06

she told me she was a 13.

12:08

And I was like, oh, I'm sorry,

12:10

I'm not a 13. Because she's like,

12:12

I'm a tall girl, so she assumed

12:14

I'd have bigger feet. And she said,

12:17

what size are you? And I was

12:19

like, I'm a 9 and a half?

12:21

She was like, what the fuck. And

12:23

then she was like roasting me for

12:25

like roasting me for having for having

12:28

such a like roasting me for having

12:30

such. So I was like, all right,

12:32

all right, not too much on me.

12:34

I would keep it private. Too much

12:36

on me, girl. Geez. Uh-uh, no, no,

12:38

that's that's a little secret that you

12:41

can have. I was like, and don't

12:43

tell anyone. You don't need to be

12:45

flexing in that way. But do you

12:47

have any tips for me for self-tapes?

12:49

Dear God. I mean, like, my my

12:52

memory has gotten truly since, since like

12:54

COVID, and we were locked inside inside

12:56

the house, and I found that whole

12:58

year, like. No one's, I don't think

13:00

anyone's ever died from weed, but I

13:03

got really close. Oh, but I was

13:05

testing that limit, that's for sure. Yeah,

13:07

there were helicopters. I was getting flown

13:09

out. No, after I really destroyed my

13:11

brain that whole year, it takes me

13:14

like five days to learn the script.

13:16

Which it never did before but being

13:18

the most off book like truly truly

13:20

having like a couple of nights to

13:22

sleep on those lines So that you

13:25

have the opportunity to play. Yeah You

13:27

know what I mean? So that the

13:29

recall, recall gets in the way of

13:31

your flow state. Yeah, that's so true.

13:33

That's crazy. You say that I just

13:36

said that to my fiancé yesterday. It's

13:38

true. It really is true. But no,

13:40

that's the realest thing. I like, I

13:42

always want, I never, I just directed

13:44

a short film. And like, one of

13:47

the things I said to my actor

13:49

was like, I just want you to

13:51

have all of these words in your

13:53

bones because I actually don't know what

13:55

I want you to show. me what

13:58

you want and then I'm gonna what

14:00

I want and we're going to meet

14:02

somewhere in the middle. And I can't

14:04

do that if you are like, what

14:06

is it? Okay, okay. Thank you. Yeah,

14:09

like trying to remember it exactly. Yeah,

14:11

yeah. Well, that's, I'll ask you a

14:13

question about directing in a second, but

14:15

that's really such a good point because

14:17

I was telling my fiancé the other

14:20

day, like, because the way I learned

14:22

in school, because I have a photographic

14:24

memory, so I, like, imprinted on my

14:26

eyelids, so I just read it a

14:28

million times and memorize it, but I

14:31

was telling it. trying to accomplish what

14:33

they're trying to talk about and that

14:35

was like easier instead of remembering them

14:37

verbatim yes remembering the flow of the

14:39

conversation so that I remember what to

14:42

say when and how to say it

14:44

kind of deal that's that's probably really

14:46

smart like it just like in the

14:48

you know next to their line putting

14:50

their even putting your own emotion while

14:52

listening yeah because I do think that

14:55

if you get really If I know

14:57

what they're going to say, there's almost

14:59

a part of me that is forgetting,

15:01

trying to forget what they're going to

15:03

say so that I can be like,

15:06

oh shit, yeah, my response. And then

15:08

I just pick ahead of time, like,

15:10

you know, I'm picking this arc for

15:12

myself. And so, like, when I was

15:14

on graze, this whole arc was like,

15:17

I have a thing to accomplish and...

15:19

and here's this little woman who's like

15:21

helping me accomplish it but like she's

15:23

stealing all my attention so even the

15:25

way that I had my body towards

15:28

her was always like here's my work

15:30

and here I am coming to you

15:32

like with only my head like you

15:34

know what I mean just like my

15:36

body language being like you are pulling

15:39

me away from something you this so

15:41

it feels magnetic yeah and I think

15:43

when we you know we had great

15:45

chemistry anyway but there were those like

15:47

I even did a thing on the

15:50

show where I stood mostly with my

15:52

hands behind my back because I liked

15:54

the idea of needing, having a physical

15:56

restraint. Yeah, I see. All of these

15:58

like, these, I think that... You know,

16:01

you're never saying I... I'm rarely saying

16:03

a line that fits in my

16:05

mouth perfectly. Yeah. Because it's, I

16:07

didn't write it. Exactly, and it's

16:10

not you saying it. Right, so

16:12

I have to, I, the thing that

16:14

I rely on is my body language.

16:16

So that the person who's watching me,

16:19

whether it's on a self-tape or on

16:21

a screen, is not even

16:23

really listening for what's being

16:25

said. They're watching me deliver

16:28

it with my, like, like, magnets.

16:30

Oh, I appreciate. all the tips

16:32

all my actor friends I've been

16:34

asking for tips because I think it is

16:36

in the subtleties and also it's like one

16:38

of those I feel like as I'm going

16:40

through the very infancy stages of doing

16:43

acting some of my friends have told

16:45

me too that sometimes it's like the

16:47

casting directors or people will have

16:49

like very solidified ideas of

16:51

what they think this character looks like.

16:54

But if you approach it that way,

16:56

they can put your face in there. It's

16:58

easier for them to let go of what

17:00

they pictured and see you in that role.

17:02

Yes. That's why I love that too. It's

17:04

true because I've worked in a writer's room

17:06

and it was so helpful to me to

17:08

work in a writer's room because you

17:10

get to be involved a little bit

17:13

in the casting. Yeah. And so you

17:15

do you spend months creating these months

17:17

creating these people that you have them.

17:19

your head, your script goes through so

17:22

many network notes and changes

17:24

before it ever gets to TV.

17:26

And then when you go through the

17:28

casting process, we are looking for anyone, we

17:30

audition, to be the answer. So I used

17:32

to go, before I was in a writers

17:35

room, I would go into a lot of

17:37

things to be like, maybe they do

17:39

have something in mind, like maybe this

17:41

is what they want me. No, no, no,

17:43

they want you to be the right fit. And

17:45

they would love to be surprised to

17:47

be surprised. We didn't even think

17:50

about this angle. Yeah, that's so

17:52

T. And this, it's, this is so,

17:54

like, silly, it compares about not.

17:56

When I've seen, like, John Chu

17:58

talking about casting Glinda. And he

18:00

was talking about how like when I

18:02

heard our underground I wanted to try

18:05

I was like already in my head

18:07

I was like I'm not picking her

18:09

because I don't want to pick a

18:12

big name I don't want it to

18:14

overshadow the thing but like I'll give

18:16

her the shot. But he was like,

18:19

in my head though, I had already

18:21

decided I wasn't gonna pick her. And

18:23

she specifically asked, like, can you please

18:25

not see me as our undergrad? Like,

18:28

I want to come in like, as

18:30

like a normal person and you just

18:32

audition me. And he said when she

18:35

came in, she like, came in with

18:37

none of her normal makeup, none of

18:39

her normal hair, and then he had

18:41

no choice but to imagine her as

18:44

Glinda because she like, it's. the same

18:46

advice I would ever give like a

18:48

young person when they they're asking about

18:51

how to be in the creative field

18:53

is like the thing that makes you

18:55

special is that you are one of

18:58

one yeah and actually all of us

19:00

are one of one and there are

19:02

for sure going to be actors that

19:04

that really fit a mold and so

19:07

they're gonna do this this same type

19:09

of role over and over and over

19:11

again I think that's awesome I mean

19:14

truly really like admirable to like nail

19:16

that thing that is Like easily consumable.

19:18

Yeah, but I'm not easily consumable and

19:20

neither are you and that's the thing

19:23

that makes us taste so fucking sweet

19:25

That's true. You know, I take very

19:27

look at you We are really the

19:30

sour candies of the industry. Yeah, that's

19:32

so true You know, not everybody's gonna

19:34

love us. We are the only thing

19:37

that they buy Yeah, so I'm like

19:39

I'm not trying to be licorish because

19:41

no one is ever gonna think of

19:43

me that way That's true. And I

19:46

even said to my team recently I

19:48

was like I was getting offers to

19:50

audition for things that were like, we're

19:53

looking for a woman or anything else.

19:55

And I was like, okay, I thank

19:57

you for sending me this, this looks

20:00

really exciting. If they're looking for a

20:02

woman or anything else, they're not looking

20:04

for me. They're not looking for me.

20:06

It's more realistic that if... If you

20:09

send me out for something that's we're

20:11

looking for a man and we're open

20:13

to things, then I might be a

20:16

really pleasant surprise. Right, exactly. But I'm

20:18

not delivering traditional femininity in a way

20:20

that casting director is probably looking for.

20:22

And even the version of non-binary that

20:25

they're looking for is probably more fem-presenting.

20:27

And so you just have to get

20:29

kind of real. You gotta get real.

20:32

I know where I fit. and I'm

20:34

trying to be authentic. Yeah, that's so

20:36

true. Because even a few times I've

20:39

talked to my actor friends about like

20:41

reads or things I've done. Sometimes I'll

20:43

get reads for stuff, which it's obviously

20:45

a woman. a lot of times she's

20:48

like in her late 40s. Okay. And

20:50

I was like, okay, so you're auditioning

20:52

one young hot person and then everyone

20:55

else is 40. Love that. It's normally

20:57

someone who's like, you know, she's like

20:59

confident, she's loud, she's whatever, and I'm

21:01

like, okay, cool. But some of the

21:04

auditions I've done, it's become increasingly more

21:06

clear that they, I wasn't the kind

21:08

of loud that they were looking for,

21:11

and that wasn't exactly how I wasn't

21:13

playing it, like. over the top like

21:15

I was kind of I was kind

21:18

of leaning back a little bit just

21:20

in showing it in other ways and

21:22

that's not what they're looking for clearly

21:24

because they you know didn't give it

21:27

to me well I have to assume

21:29

that they're looking like if I had

21:31

written a character that was a drew

21:34

a fallow type mhm off wall. Thank

21:36

you. If I was looking for a

21:38

drew type I would bring you in.

21:41

And if you gave me a really

21:43

subdued Drew, I'd be like, ah, fuck.

21:45

You know what I mean? Like, so

21:47

there's part of that too is like,

21:50

I will ask. It's like a balance

21:52

of it. It is. You don't want

21:54

to be a caricature of yourself and

21:57

you don't, I think a lot of

21:59

people think that the trick to acting,

22:01

and I've seen this happen with a

22:03

lot of comedian friends, is like, they

22:06

get into that acting space and they're

22:08

like, I know what acting space and

22:10

they're like, and they're like, and they're

22:13

like, and they're like, and they're like,

22:15

and they're like, like, like, like, like,

22:17

like, like, like, like, like, like, like,

22:20

like, like, all the joy out of

22:22

your ass and you are really still.

22:24

I'm like I've definitely fallen into that.

22:26

I've had my moments where I've seen

22:29

that like I've lost my little spark

22:31

but I think I think they do

22:33

want you and they can always tell

22:36

you to tone it back but if

22:38

I see somebody and they are really

22:40

subdued it's harder to imagine them popping.

22:42

I'd rather see somebody pop and be

22:45

like, okay, that was fun. That was

22:47

so fun. Yeah. She's a little bit

22:49

more calm. Yeah. Like everything that you're

22:52

giving me, but a little bit more

22:54

grounded. Love. And you've said you've worked

22:56

in writer's rooms, obviously you've been acting,

22:59

and then now you've directed to, do,

23:01

do you have a fave, any one

23:03

of those? I do really love. And

23:05

I love it. And you're fantastic at

23:08

both. Thank you. I feel the thing

23:10

about acting, this is a really silly

23:12

answer. There's an ease to the existence.

23:15

Right. And it's not what people think.

23:17

It's that like... You know, we're multi-hyphenets,

23:19

we're always working with acting, you do

23:21

get treated a little bit kinder because

23:24

you're an asset. And they need you

23:26

there, and they need you here at

23:28

this time, and then they like, they

23:31

have this really ridiculous understanding that actors

23:33

who I find are, that are often

23:35

the smartest people in the room. They

23:38

have this understanding that actors are complete

23:40

morons, and like should be owned by

23:42

the state. And so, they take you

23:44

everywhere on that golf cart. They are

23:47

driving you around like... you could not

23:49

possibly know how to walk. And I

23:51

am in the golf cart being like.

23:54

I know sometimes when you're on stuff

23:56

like that you're like offering to help

23:58

do things and they're like no no

24:01

no no no sit down sit down

24:03

sit down idiot don't touch that no

24:05

it would be like a toddler helping

24:07

with the dishes where you're like no

24:10

yeah. No. Okay, thank you. You're a

24:12

great helper. Thank you. Go and sit

24:14

down. Such a big hall. But they're

24:17

all really, they all inform each other

24:19

and the thing that I, it makes

24:21

me, you know. Like we talk about

24:23

it, like we're like the sharks, like

24:26

if we stop someone we die. The

24:28

thing that is really driving me is

24:30

a curiosity about how to make the

24:33

best art possible. Totally. And writing helped

24:35

me understand casting and helped me understand

24:37

directing and directing helped me take a

24:40

script that was not mine and make

24:42

changes to it that needed to be

24:44

made and understand that when I get

24:46

network notes, I'm not being personally insulted

24:49

on my writer's script. You know what

24:51

I mean? Being in a writer's room

24:53

helped me understand really acting better. So

24:56

they're all informing each other in this

24:58

way and strangely comedy is the thing

25:00

that has helped me best understand music

25:02

because with music here you are in

25:05

front of a live audience and anything

25:07

can go wrong at all times and

25:09

only. comedians can handle that. That's true

25:12

too, like adapting, right? Like being able

25:14

to pivot. My God. This episode is

25:16

brought to you by Billy. Taking care

25:19

of yourself is very healing. Like just

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and their aluminum-free dios keep you smell.

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fresh for 24 hours. You've got your

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reasons, Billy's got your routine. Shop in

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store and at mybilly.com. And obviously you

25:48

love music the most. Music's your favorite.

25:51

I do. I do like it because

25:53

it's the only thing that I own.

25:55

Yeah, you know? Okay, that's too. Yeah,

25:58

it's yours. Your hard work is yours.

26:00

Yeah, you spend so much time. baby

26:02

yeah and then the music you're like

26:04

an asset yes you know what I

26:07

feel like I feel like one of

26:09

those those nieonies that have children at

26:11

home yeah I like raising your kids

26:14

while you're raising someone else oh I

26:16

never sat and I love these kids

26:18

but I am neglecting my own So

26:21

true. Because I need to do it.

26:23

So true. Unfortunately, I need to live.

26:26

So there is that, but I know

26:28

you've been touring your music. Yes. How

26:30

do you like tour? Touring is fun.

26:32

I mean you get to be with

26:35

people again. Yeah, like I bet you

26:37

felt that way for the book. Yeah,

26:39

live performing is really fun. I hate

26:41

the logistics of touring itself, but live

26:43

performing is always fun. Yes. It's like

26:46

traveling though. I've told everyone though. I've

26:48

told everyone. I've. Yeah, I feel like

26:50

I'm on the lamb. Yeah, needed somewhere

26:52

all the time. Yeah, yeah, and there

26:55

you really something is expected from you

26:57

all the time. And not everybody understands

26:59

that just you need 15 minutes or

27:01

you'll kill them. I just I actually

27:03

just need 15 minutes or you'll be

27:06

dead. Please. Yeah, get out. Go away.

27:08

Yeah, my faith is being tested for

27:10

sure. Like my relationships are being tested.

27:12

Because when I did my book tour,

27:15

me and my sister toured. We did

27:17

our podcast, but it was promoting my

27:19

book. And so it's like live performance,

27:21

book signings, like meat greets, like the

27:23

whole Shebang. But because I rolled deep,

27:26

I took both my parents, I took

27:28

my man, my sister, my cousin, my

27:30

assistant, my brother-in-law with security. Like I

27:32

took so many people, there's probably like

27:35

11 or 12 of. and half of

27:37

us haven't really stayed together like that

27:39

so we got close and we got

27:41

close quick like yeah oh my god

27:43

after week one i was like it's

27:46

starting to feel like survivor a little

27:48

bit no one's been voted off the

27:50

island quite yet oh we are barreling

27:52

towards that Yeah, and we're getting we're

27:55

getting older. You know what I mean?

27:57

We're not like I'm not 22 where

27:59

I'm like it's so fun to figure

28:01

out how everyone else lives I'm a

28:04

million I literally every night we were

28:06

like we would have Probably because like

28:08

have you tarred on a bus I'm

28:10

about to tour on a bus. Okay,

28:12

see, you know what? What's crazy about

28:15

it? I preferred the bus. Okay. Then

28:17

saying in the hotels, I honestly, it's

28:19

like, you know, you need like a

28:21

home base, especially when you go on

28:24

tour. You need somewhere that feels like

28:26

home. And so every time we were

28:28

off the bus, I was like, My

28:30

Shayla. Every time the bus was leaving,

28:32

I was like, please come back. Oh

28:35

yeah. But I remember every night we

28:37

would have to, we'd probably wrap the

28:39

show around like 930, 10, and then

28:41

the driver wouldn't come to like midnight.

28:44

So we would just go back on

28:46

the bus and wait till he came.

28:48

It's like the driver hours or whatever.

28:50

And so in those like two, three

28:52

hours we would have some downtime. And

28:55

my brother-in-law's like 23. 20, gonna be

28:57

24. So him and like the younger

28:59

people in our group would be like,

29:01

let's go out. And then I was

29:04

like... Okay, you guys go out, goodbye.

29:06

I would sit and eat ramen on

29:08

the bus in my pajamas and then

29:10

my man would be playing Eldon Ring

29:12

on the bus and that's what I

29:15

was doing. Man, that's romantic to me.

29:17

Oh my God. That is horny to

29:19

me. I went over to my partner's

29:21

house yesterday and she was like, what

29:24

do you want to do? And I

29:26

was like, I think I want to

29:28

stare. It's nothing legitimately and then she

29:30

was like that's on so nice we

29:32

sat on the couch cross-legged not looking

29:35

at each other no TV on no

29:37

music Hi.

29:39

That's a little spooky, but I support

29:42

you. If anybody would have come in,

29:44

it would have looked like we were

29:46

plugged into our butt holes. You know

29:48

what I mean? Like the couch was

29:50

charging us? They're downloading the information on

29:52

the day. And her schedule is like

29:54

equally nuts. So we are fully like,

29:56

you have to find, I do think

29:58

that it's so helpful sometimes. to find

30:00

somebody that's as like, yeah, psychotically

30:03

busy as we are? Yeah, because they're so

30:05

much grace. I agree. And they just, they

30:07

understand and they get it, like, especially if

30:09

I, when I'm in those stretches where I'm

30:12

working all the time and I'm sleeping barely

30:14

at all, and then like, I'll try to open

30:16

something and I can't open it to the

30:18

point where it brings tears to my eyes,

30:20

and then he's, he'll come and he'll be like,

30:22

he'll come and he'll be like, he'll come and

30:25

he'll come and he'll be like, I just have to sit.

30:27

I get sitting in silence. Yeah, it's a room man. That's

30:29

the time it should I do like. Sometimes I'll just wander

30:31

into my bedroom like and my man will be sitting in

30:33

the living room playing his game and I'll just go in

30:35

the room and I'll just go in the room and I'll just

30:37

sit in there and I'll just sit in there and I'll just

30:39

sit and ask me for anything. He's like, are you coming

30:41

in, ask me for anything. He's like, coming, ask me

30:43

for anything, ask me for anything, ask me for anything.

30:45

He's like, ask me for anything. He's like, he's like,

30:47

he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's

30:49

like, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's sitting, he's sitting, I

30:52

get sitting, I get sitting, I get sitting,

30:54

I get sitting, I get sitting, I get sitting,

30:56

I get sitting, I get sitting, Exactly, it

30:58

feels like I call it sometimes like normal

31:00

human time. Yeah. So like even just doing normal

31:02

human things, I just wander around my house like

31:04

a sim, I just wander into a room, forget

31:07

what I was supposed to be doing. Yes, yes,

31:09

yes. It's like the only way to stay sane

31:11

because you're like, oh, I'm a real person.

31:13

Yeah. Real person that exists

31:15

in the real world. Well, and I find

31:17

that like if I go online, one,

31:20

it's just zapping my brain. So I try.

31:22

And it makes me be like, oh yeah, I

31:24

should work on that thing. And so, and then

31:26

I'll be like, I'll be in the house and

31:28

I'll be like, you know, I should be clean

31:31

in that thing. It would be really nice

31:33

if I read more. I should be running

31:35

scales on the piano. I don't work on

31:37

that. And that's why I have to be

31:39

like I have to be like. Oh, that's

31:42

so good. I love the, I love the,

31:44

the, like, the pageantry of

31:46

it. You're like, stairtime.

31:48

Yeah, it's stairtime. And

31:50

also, the, the time that I feel

31:53

most, like, fem, ever feel fem.

31:55

And it happens so rarely for

31:57

me. Yeah. Is when my little...

32:00

gal will like come into a

32:02

kitchen and I've had like what the

32:04

day I just had like that day

32:06

where I'm staring but I'm holding something

32:08

that needs to be open and she'll

32:11

take it for me and open it

32:13

and I will fully do like it

32:15

I was like, you need someone that

32:17

can match your freak like that. Absolutely.

32:20

We joked about that on Torah law

32:22

because we were like, I'm gonna go

32:24

in my bunk and close the door.

32:26

So that's what I'm gonna do right

32:29

now. I'd appreciate if nobody came and

32:31

talked to me. We just go and

32:33

we just had mutual respect for each

32:35

other that way. I'd be like, oh,

32:38

that's bunk time. So I'm gonna go

32:40

on my bunk and then they would

32:42

close their little curtain and then just

32:44

be alone. That sounds so nice. back

32:47

room with my fiancee so then I

32:49

had the door closed uh-huh and then

32:51

everybody else had a little curtain on

32:53

their own bad ass it's awesome yeah

32:56

I felt like the Jonas brothers yeah

32:58

yeah they're the only band I thought

33:00

that's okay that's okay me knowing no

33:02

other fucking band there no other ones

33:05

exist it's like who do you really

33:07

need more than the Jonas brothers I

33:09

don't what what what's your what was

33:11

your favorite if you had to choose

33:14

favorite tour date Like, what was like

33:16

the funnest one for you? LA. LA.

33:18

LA is great. LA is so fun.

33:20

I think in part it was because

33:23

I had so much disappointment management, which

33:25

is what I give to myself, right?

33:27

It's gonna be bad. LA is a

33:29

hard crowd, right? They're gonna come here,

33:32

they're gonna hate this shit, okay? And

33:34

you're gonna have to win them, right?

33:36

I didn't do that half as much

33:38

on all the other tours, but for

33:41

LA, because it meant so much to

33:43

me, because it's family and friends. You

33:45

know what I mean? And you don't

33:47

want to really, you know, you don't

33:49

want to give them a bad time,

33:52

you don't want to do anything embarrassment.

33:54

You know that you're gonna be thinking

33:56

about it for fucking ever. So I

33:58

just went out there truly so zeroed

34:01

in at the top of my game.

34:03

And LA happened to come to party

34:05

so hard that night. Sick. It was

34:07

unbelievable. Like they were singing the lyrics.

34:10

There were parts of the show that

34:12

I was like fully like. You know

34:14

what I mean? Like really having this

34:16

like the gratitude I felt was unbelievable.

34:19

Kids were mashing and a girl got

34:21

her wig pulled off. That was that

34:23

was the best. You know it's fun

34:25

when a girl gets her wig pulled

34:28

off. Yeah it ain't an ER if

34:30

I master concert without a wig getting

34:32

yanked. Maybe somebody's gotta come with a

34:34

wig. You guys want to party or

34:37

what? Yes and I also I love

34:39

um I love my fans, like I

34:41

think because of the queerness and being

34:43

able to be so visible, like specifically

34:46

through gray's, I've picked up a fan

34:48

base that's really diverse in all the

34:50

ways and at all of my shows

34:52

there were people with disabilities that were

34:55

sitting in that section, like with a

34:57

great view of the stage and that

34:59

means a lot to me because I'm

35:01

like, okay great, like. we're doing a

35:04

good job getting people here like this

35:06

is this is that means something to

35:08

me and my crowd is not all

35:10

white yeah my crowd does not look

35:13

the same and the music or the

35:15

message is still meaning something to a

35:17

big group of people and I don't

35:19

get to see that that often yeah

35:22

especially when you're doing stuff on TV

35:24

yes I don't get to see it

35:26

so then so the music is really

35:28

the chance that I get to be

35:31

with them yeah and even if they

35:33

came even if they come just because

35:35

they sell me on graze. I don't

35:37

care. It gets to be like this,

35:40

I'm like, no, think of it, sure,

35:42

it's the band, like I want you

35:44

to really like my music and I

35:46

want you to come here because it

35:49

feels important to meet me because I

35:51

do meet with fans after the show

35:53

and I know, I don't know, it's

35:55

just like we get... so separated from

35:58

everybody. We are making this art for

36:00

people to, we want to make art

36:02

that people consume because we didn't get

36:04

to see ourselves. Right, exactly. And so

36:07

then getting to watch them experience the

36:09

art, watch them consume the art. It

36:11

keeps you going. Absolutely. I was just

36:13

about to say that's what. That's what

36:16

sustains me with the shark shit like

36:18

how I can never like when I'm

36:20

struggling and I'm like this is exhausting

36:22

and I'm tired and I feel like

36:24

I haven't like been alone or been

36:27

normal for who knows how long it's

36:29

that's why I loved life performing too

36:31

and I've told people like that's one

36:33

of my proudest accomplishments is having like

36:36

my fans none of them look the

36:38

same like there's they've spanned many different

36:40

demographics and groups and I'm very proud

36:42

of that I know your fans are

36:45

like that too because when I'm the

36:47

cut down from our first episode First

36:49

of all a million likes second of

36:51

all everybody in the comments was like

36:54

I Can't believe you know who ER

36:56

fight message. Oh my god I can't

36:58

believe like they it was like they

37:00

were you were there Sheila But also

37:03

they just were like oh my god.

37:05

I love them so much like they

37:07

were freaking the fuck out our the

37:09

crossover event that happened with us doing

37:12

this was so rewarding to me and

37:14

I think it's why we've stayed in

37:16

touch. Yeah are so aligned. They are,

37:18

it's literally a circle, our fan bases

37:21

are a circle, that the crossover is

37:23

100% they are, they are violent, they

37:25

are gorgeous and they are diverse. And

37:27

they don't play about you. No, they

37:30

do not play about ER5. No, and

37:32

they do not talk around with you.

37:34

You called yourself at one point, it's

37:36

like, what's you, a tangible consequence? Yeah.

37:39

And I was thinking like, first of

37:41

all. Let me get that tattoo. And

37:43

second of all, I, the way that

37:45

these women feel so comforted watching you

37:48

be a tangible consequence, like really fucking,

37:50

like I, I don't worry about you.

37:52

I know you need to be worried

37:54

about because that's and that's probably what

37:57

your beautiful fiance is for it But

37:59

I don't worry about you and that

38:01

feels empowering like when somebody goes into

38:03

the comments and says something negative to

38:06

you. I'm fully like dumb ass I'm

38:08

ready. I'm like she's about to take

38:10

back the night My friend Kyle Peru

38:12

he messaged me I put it in

38:15

my dump the other day, but he

38:17

messaged me Uh, watching people wander into

38:19

your dams looking for a fight, it

38:21

feels like watching Joe Pesci go in

38:24

the home alone house a million times.

38:26

Oh my god! Just constantly going inside

38:28

the road. That is so true. I

38:30

was like so funny I took a

38:33

picture of it. God damn. I was

38:35

like, yeah, they never learned do they?

38:37

It's actually so funny you say that

38:39

too because recently I made a video

38:42

defending trans women. Trans people in general

38:44

but especially trans women because they were

38:46

the ones being attacked at the time.

38:48

And I made a video defending them

38:51

and all I said was like this

38:53

is literally what I said in the

38:55

video. I said if you're a transphob

38:57

and it's 2025. Your ass stinks. That's

38:59

all I said. I said, you have

39:02

shit in your ass, and your breath

39:04

stinks, and you have no friends. Like

39:06

nobody likes you, you're a fucking loser.

39:08

That's all I said. I didn't even,

39:11

I didn't specify a person, I didn't

39:13

specify a group. I literally just said,

39:15

if you're, if you're a transfer board,

39:17

turf, your your ass stinks, like, and

39:20

it's science. The spirit's calling to you.

39:22

That's all I said and you know

39:24

what's funny is I have never and

39:26

this was my issue too when the

39:29

election happened when the election happened I

39:31

was posting all I was posting crazy

39:33

shit I was with all kinds of

39:35

shit a leading every year leading up

39:38

to the election I've been doing that

39:40

and so when I posted like hey

39:42

fuck that bitch like I I hated

39:44

him and I hate anybody who supports

39:47

him. I can't even tell you how

39:49

many women were like, you're telling me

39:51

that you don't want Trump's supporter followers.

39:53

We can't agree to agree. No, no,

39:56

log off. Also, me of all people.

39:58

Log off, delete your account. I was

40:00

like, me of all, you're asking me

40:02

if I, is that a joke? Like,

40:05

I, I feel like you but just

40:07

don't know me at all. I like,

40:09

what the fuck. Do they think? Do

40:11

they think that we got here by

40:14

like thinking that we need to be

40:16

palatable? Well you know what I started

40:18

hearing after I was attacking transphobes the

40:20

other day because the person who started

40:23

this shit is a turf right so

40:25

I was like saying you guys are

40:27

fucking turf and your ass stinks just

40:29

like a transphob because you are a

40:32

transphob and they were like I'm not

40:34

transphelbic. Okay. So you're afraid of trans

40:36

people... I'm not transphilic, I just like

40:38

don't want them near me. What's the

40:41

fucking difference? They don't want to be

40:43

near you either, you dumb freak? No

40:45

shit. No shit. That's why I was

40:47

like, I don't give a fuck like

40:50

if it looks like a duck in

40:52

it. Talks like a duck, I'm gonna

40:54

call it a fucking duck. You think

40:56

me and my boys wanna be hanging

40:59

out with you fucks? That's why I

41:01

was like, they wanna be nothing more

41:03

than to be left alone. A hundred

41:05

percent. Bitches can't mind your own fucking

41:08

business. I love the idea that they're

41:10

asking because I think that's absolutely true.

41:12

And the minute someone is transphobic, I

41:14

feel like I learn everything about their

41:17

sex life. I mean truly you're just

41:19

like oh like the concern that you

41:21

have for others is like for others

41:23

being themselves for living joyfully right exactly

41:26

for you know daring to be happy

41:28

to not want to die right yeah

41:30

like all this shit that you are

41:32

really projecting like your own anxieties and

41:34

like self-hatred onto them and I learn

41:37

I learn how crooked the dick is

41:39

I learn how small it looks even

41:41

when it's hot out you know what

41:43

I mean? when it's like swampy out.

41:46

That's none of the cards for you.

41:48

No. I know when I was, I

41:50

had, I had women. like attacking me

41:52

and telling me I wasn't for women

41:55

because I dared to defend trans women

41:57

are most vulnerable that's crazy to which

41:59

I what's ironic about that is the

42:01

week I made that video I had

42:04

Dylan on the show again for an

42:06

all-star episode gorgeous and I was like

42:08

see I know Turfs have never ever

42:10

ever interacted with trans people in real

42:13

life ever. If you have you didn't

42:15

know because you're a dumb ass but

42:17

it doesn't matter either way. I was

42:19

like I actually know and love trans

42:22

people in real life even if I

42:24

didn't I would tell you bitches to

42:26

choke on my dick and honestly the

42:28

line that made them the most mad

42:31

other than me saying their ass stinks

42:33

was I told them to suck my

42:35

dick and then I said actually suck

42:37

it from the back because I don't

42:40

want to look at you. And that

42:42

line, I'm not kidding, as made women

42:44

freak the fuck out at me, these

42:46

turfs, they literally are like, that's so

42:49

disgusting, that's so unladylike. And then they

42:51

start calling me a man. I was

42:53

like, oh so you are transphobic, okay,

42:55

I knew it. You know when you,

42:58

when you're like alone for a minute

43:00

and then you like touch your partner

43:02

or you have sex and you get

43:04

like that burst of oxytocin? I just

43:07

had that. The endorphins just

43:09

released yeah, that song that Justin Bieber

43:11

song where he's like life is worth

43:13

living That is how I felt I

43:15

I'm obsessed with these Since women that

43:18

that hate trans women because I think

43:20

that they are I think that it

43:22

is also a confession of like hey

43:24

I really had to do everything I

43:27

was told my whole life and so

43:29

and you have not You've not been

43:31

in this, like, you've cut the line.

43:33

Yeah, I'm actually, I grew up in

43:36

hell, you know what I mean? Like,

43:38

my uncle was calling me hot when

43:40

I was five. Like, yeah, like, there's

43:42

actually no way for me to be

43:45

that makes people happy if I'm annoying

43:47

people wish I was dead. Yeah, exactly.

43:49

You can't join me here. Yeah, exactly.

43:51

And what are you fighting for? And

43:54

who are you fighting for? I've even

43:56

told them before, like, like, like, this

43:58

many times already so having to say

44:00

it again pisses me the fuck off

44:03

because I don't explain myself to bigots

44:05

like I was like the only person

44:07

like you want me to validate you

44:09

and your transphobia I'm not going to

44:12

I hate terfs I hate transphobes I've

44:14

been that way forever and I've like

44:16

obviously I have many many followers who

44:18

are trans and so a lot of

44:21

them were like thank you for always

44:23

defending us defending us and I You

44:25

guys stand behind me as long as

44:27

you want, bitch. I don't give a

44:29

fuck. Till you feel brave enough to

44:32

come out, I don't care. Right? I

44:34

was like, and also. I've told people

44:36

before, it's imperative that cis women have

44:38

this conversation with each other. It's imperative

44:41

that cis women hold other cis women

44:43

accountable for being transphobic. It's imperative because

44:45

no one's free till we're all free.

44:47

Yes. And also to think that transphobia

44:50

will not affect cis women at all

44:52

is insane. It's already affecting cis women.

44:54

I mean, currently, we can obviously see

44:56

it in the sports space. Exactly. Women

44:59

of color especially. And that's the part

45:01

that I was like, you think I

45:03

experienced all the fucking time. It's because

45:05

I'm not, I don't fit into these

45:08

Eurocentric beauty standards. But see, I've unpacked

45:10

all of my internalized transphobia and biases,

45:12

so it doesn't offend me when people

45:14

try to call me a trans person

45:17

or a man to insult me, that

45:19

doesn't offend me. And also I do

45:21

have a huge dig. And you're gonna

45:23

suck it from the back. And I

45:26

was. And that's a fact, bitch. Yeah,

45:28

and I'm down with them, actually. I'm

45:30

like stuttering, I'm like, like, are we

45:32

doing it. Getting nervous. Yeah, no, no

45:35

like okay You know what the the

45:37

my truest thought on this is that

45:39

I think that trans women have a

45:41

more beautiful understanding what what what womanhood

45:43

is I agree I think that unfortunately

45:46

the programming for Sizz women is is

45:48

it is it is it's kind of

45:50

sad. Yeah, it is. And I'm like

45:52

actually know your womanhood is not your

45:55

role your womanhood is not your status

45:57

in society and your womanhood is not

45:59

your your ability to be

46:01

sexually assaulted. Yeah. And this

46:04

trans, this trans debate that's

46:06

like centering all on well, like

46:08

if a quote-on-quote man in a dress

46:10

is in a bathroom, he will rape

46:12

me. And like, okay, well then it

46:15

sounds like the problem that we have

46:17

is that men are going to rape

46:19

and women are fearing rape their

46:21

whole lives. Right. And when you talk

46:24

to trans women about their

46:26

womanhood, they talk about... It like almost

46:28

gets me choked up. They talk about

46:30

it in such this like beautiful,

46:33

expansive way of like it's it's

46:35

this feeling I always had. Yeah. You

46:37

know, it's this truth I've always known.

46:39

It's the most beautiful parts of me.

46:41

It's my softest self. And I

46:43

don't feel that from ciswoman right

46:46

now because I think the propaganda is

46:48

so strong. I agree. And I love.

46:50

I love, I love women, oh my

46:52

god, I'm so obsessed with them and

46:54

I'm obsessed with all women, I really

46:56

am obsessed with all women, and I

46:58

want CIS women to stop letting men

47:00

be a barrier to their identity.

47:03

Yeah, absolutely. I've even told CIS

47:05

women when I was defending Dylan,

47:07

I've defended Dylan many times, but

47:09

I defended her when she put

47:11

out her song because terfs, once

47:13

again, were attacking her and saying

47:15

that her song was... Like basically

47:18

saying she's vapid it was like derivative.

47:20

It was a derivative of woman. I

47:22

said that's her experience with womanhood Notice

47:24

how she never said this is the

47:27

experience of all women. That's her experience

47:29

as a woman But even let's just

47:31

say that is what she was saying

47:33

She's talking about taking her meds, right?

47:36

She's talking about for her both for

47:38

her transition, but also for her mental

47:40

health. She's talking about having a

47:42

one-night stand, right? And I told them

47:44

like because when Sabrina Carpenter makes jokes

47:47

about getting Eiffel towered on her fucking

47:49

tour everyone's like I love when women

47:51

are sexual and me too. I love

47:54

it. But see when trans women

47:56

have the exact same conversation all of

47:58

a sudden you want to talk about,

48:00

we're more than just a pair of tits. No shit,

48:02

bitch. I know that. Dylan knows that. Sabino

48:04

Carpenter knows that. We all know that.

48:06

It seems like you're the only person who

48:09

doesn't know that. Yeah, yeah. And I was

48:11

like, there is nothing wrong with any of

48:13

those things. Just because women are engaging in

48:15

them doesn't make them bad. But it speaks

48:17

to what you said, which is like, it's almost

48:19

like that's the most... Like convicted

48:21

they feel in themselves is their woman what

48:23

their idea of femininity is what their idea

48:25

of womanhood is and I was explaining to

48:28

even me I was like I am a

48:30

cis woman right I identify with the gender

48:32

that was assigned to me but I am not

48:34

a thin white woman, right? So my experience

48:36

with womanhood is gonna be different from a

48:39

cis than white woman. We're gonna have two

48:41

different very experiences of womanhood. Is yours more

48:43

valid than mine? Right. No, right? So it's

48:46

really all the fucking same, isn't it? Also,

48:48

whenever I say gender is a social construct

48:50

and it's made up, their minds spray against

48:52

the wall behind them. They immediately are

48:54

like, what the fuck are you even talking

48:57

about? And I'm like, see, you're not smart

48:59

enough to have this conversation with me.

49:01

That is always the frustrating part

49:03

is you're like, we are

49:05

creating arguments to protect people. Yeah.

49:07

And so we do our research. Right.

49:09

And they are manufacturing arguments to tear

49:12

people down. And so they actually are

49:14

just pulling shit out of their stinky

49:16

little assets. Exactly. And so you're

49:18

coming over here and being like,

49:20

you know, Judith Butler would say.

49:22

I used the term white feminism

49:24

because I was saying the terfs

49:26

perpetuate white supremacist ideology Which is

49:29

white feminism and white feminism is

49:31

void of intersectionality and if

49:33

your activism isn't intersectional It

49:36

doesn't fight for everyone right

49:38

and it's racist most times

49:40

and I said white feminine

49:42

I said all of that to someone and

49:45

then she goes White feminist this person

49:47

is black And then I literally wrote back

49:49

to her, Google the term white feminism, study

49:51

up, and then come back to me. You're

49:53

not smart enough to have this conversation with

49:55

me. And I said, notice how when I

49:57

made my original video, I didn't start with.

50:00

This is why Turf rhetoric is harmful.

50:02

I said you're ask stinks. That's why

50:04

I said it because there's no point.

50:06

I said that. I already said the

50:08

truth. You're ask stinks. I was like,

50:10

there's no point. I had no interest

50:12

in having the conversation with you because

50:14

you don't want to learn. And you

50:16

don't have to have literature on that,

50:18

sweetie. You just have to have a

50:20

nose. Just a nose. And you know

50:22

what to me? In there I said,

50:24

and your breath stinks, and your breath

50:26

stinks, too, it's probably, too, it's probably,

50:28

too. It's probably, it's probably, it's probably,

50:30

too. It's probably, it's probably, it's probably,

50:32

too. It's probably, it's probably, it's, it's,

50:34

it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's,

50:37

it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's,

50:39

it's, it Periods of this video, but

50:41

also just want to say, one of

50:43

my co-workers is a huge transphobe and

50:45

he has the worst breath I've ever

50:47

smelled in my life. And I said,

50:49

and when I tell you I'm a

50:51

scientist, believe me. Or which? Whichever one

50:53

works for you. No. And I was

50:55

like, it's a scientific fact. I told

50:57

you, you all have poop in your

50:59

butt. And you're just mad at me

51:01

because I know. And I'm telling everyone.

51:03

This is the most powerful, like this

51:05

is my mantra now. And that's what

51:07

makes you laugh at. There's people saying,

51:09

oh, she's such a fake feminist. And

51:12

all I did was I told transphobes

51:14

that they have poop in their butt.

51:16

And somehow that makes me not a

51:18

real feminist. Bro, that makes you a

51:20

realer feminist. Then knowing that transphobes have

51:22

shit in their eyes. So I was

51:24

like, I did the research. That's actually

51:26

empathetic. You can under, I'm, oh. I'm

51:28

empathizing with their existing. They've got shit

51:30

in their ass. Like I was telling

51:32

my sister, I was getting annoyed because

51:34

I don't, first of all, I don't

51:36

want to see from you, I don't

51:38

want to see what you'd say, I

51:40

don't care about anything you believe in.

51:42

But more than anything, I was like,

51:44

this wasn't an open discussion. Imagine it

51:47

like this. I'm walking by and I

51:49

go, don't want to interrupt, don't want

51:51

to take too much of your time.

51:53

Your ass stinks. All right, have a

51:55

nice day. That's all I wanted to

51:57

say. That's all I needed. That's the

51:59

ground rule. Just in passing. I didn't

52:01

want to have a conversation with you.

52:03

It's like the opposite of cat calling,

52:05

but it's like the guys actually don't

52:07

want the women to be like, yeah,

52:09

no, I'm free. When they're like, do

52:11

you want to hang out now? Oh,

52:13

oh, oh, oh. No, they just want

52:15

to be like, to be like, to

52:17

be like, to be like, to be

52:19

like, like a motherfucker feels like World

52:22

War Z they're like oh they're so

52:24

hungry I know oh my god but

52:26

we do have some fun facts about

52:28

you so I do want to read

52:30

you some obviously we know you're a

52:32

gem and I already knew that about

52:34

you and that you're from Cincinnati Ohio

52:36

okay listing my disabilities That's crazy. HIPAA.

52:38

Okay. You can't do that. Where did

52:40

you find that? Okay, it says here

52:42

that you played varsity basketball and varsity

52:44

volleyball in high school. Yes. And then

52:46

you got signed to play college volleyball

52:48

for the University of Cincinnati. Okay. What

52:50

did you play in volleyball? I was

52:52

like. I was going to guess a

52:54

middle. That's the height. That's the height

52:57

for it. It says their volleyball team

52:59

was nationally ranked and they were named

53:01

to the USCAA all academic team for

53:03

also. Which is not not impressive. Yeah,

53:05

I was the only athlete that did

53:07

homework. That actually means I probably wasn't

53:09

playing very well. You know what's so

53:11

funny? You're so me. Because one time,

53:13

first of all, I was an athlete

53:15

all throughout high school. Of course. And

53:17

I played volleyball in high school too,

53:19

but I was a hitter. I was

53:21

an outside hitter. Right side? Outside hitter.

53:23

Yeah. And then my sister was an

53:25

outside hitter too, even though my sister's

53:27

five four. How did that happen? Only

53:29

our resident gay. Yeah. Or in-house gay.

53:32

That was Dace. It was funny. I

53:34

was talking about, because I played soccer.

53:36

Soccer was my main sport. And Dason

53:38

was like. You know everyone says softball

53:40

is the gay sport which is like

53:42

okay and but women's basketball and soccer

53:44

she was saying are like even a

53:46

hundred percent yeah women's basketball yeah and

53:48

then soccer I was like well it's

53:50

either lesbians or it's like straight girls

53:52

that make out with lesbians when they're

53:54

drunk I would just say that they're

53:56

more closeted yeah I think in the

53:58

early stages yeah soccer those girls were

54:00

small So they were more like, they

54:02

had the ability to like get pretty

54:04

in high school. And all the basketball

54:06

players that were any good, there was

54:09

just something about being like, I don't

54:11

know, I don't, I don't think, yeah,

54:13

I don't think, you know, Bob is

54:15

gonna like me, like, so it didn't

54:17

fucking matter, I'm wearing my sweats. And

54:19

the soccer girls had the ability to

54:21

be like hotties. Yeah. And so they

54:23

stayed closeted for much longer, but jokes

54:25

on you. I know

54:27

that's what we laughed about it

54:29

because my sister played soccer but

54:31

then when she went to college

54:33

she was like I think I'm

54:35

gonna join the rugby team Did

54:37

you do it? Yeah, she played

54:39

like all four years. What can

54:41

you um sorry this is now

54:43

kink for me? What can you

54:45

squat? Oh yeah, what's your your

54:47

highest squat? Yeah PR And you're

54:49

Dick from the front. Hers from

54:51

the front? God damn. Look at

54:53

that. I've got a lot of

54:55

work to do right after. God,

54:57

I gotta really roll up my

54:59

sleeves and get to work. I

55:01

gotta call my partner. I gotta

55:03

let her know I'm second to

55:05

this. I'm gonna be late for

55:08

much. And I will be full.

55:10

You having a GPA making all

55:12

academic. You're so me, that was

55:14

me too. One time, one time

55:16

someone asked me, what's the question

55:18

you wish people asked you more,

55:20

right? And I said, what my

55:22

AP scores were in high school.

55:24

Shit. Horny again. Shit. I do

55:26

like that. I do like that.

55:28

I do like good grades. I

55:30

love school. Yeah, it was fun.

55:32

And I actually didn't do any

55:34

homework for like the first three

55:36

years of high school. And then

55:38

they're like, you know, you're going

55:40

to do this for college. And

55:42

I was like. Oh my god.

55:44

We're not going to let you

55:46

leave if you don't do it.

55:48

Why didn't you fucking say that?

55:50

And so I went from like

55:52

truly a 2.5 GPA because I

55:54

was like homework doesn't matter you

55:56

can't control me. Today I'm like

55:58

I need it for college and

56:00

I had a 4.0 and it

56:02

was the easiest switch I ever

56:04

made. I was like oh I

56:06

didn't when you sent me home

56:08

with I didn't realize you wanted

56:10

me to do it. I didn't

56:12

realize you wanted it back. You

56:14

gave it to me too key.

56:16

Why didn't you say that? Why

56:18

is nobody talking about homework? My

56:20

teachers are being insane and they

56:22

thought it was funny so I'd

56:24

be like, no I don't have

56:26

it. They'd be like, okay. There

56:28

is no like, you really have

56:30

to. They were just really like,

56:32

you're a favorite. Why are you

56:35

rizzing up people in high school?

56:37

I bet they do. A hardcore.

56:39

You're just rizzing people up all

56:41

throughout high school. Okay, on here

56:43

it says they performed in Boom

56:45

Chicago in English Comedy Troop in

56:47

Amsterdam. Yeah, yeah, we performed, I

56:49

performed in Amsterdam at Boom and

56:51

Boom is like you're performing for

56:53

basically an audience that's almost entirely

56:55

English second language. Oh nice. And

56:57

so you, do you speak Dutch?

56:59

In Beeche. And it's, you really.

57:01

you learn how to be universally

57:03

funny. You have to because the

57:05

first like six months that you're

57:07

there, you're pulling stuff out of

57:09

your ass that's really like an

57:11

Americanism. You know, even talking about

57:13

like the Kroger or the Vons,

57:15

like whatever, that's the too specific.

57:17

And so your comp is the

57:19

Walmart, but then you haven't... in

57:21

the back of your brand you

57:23

know all the their major brands

57:25

and you know the Italian brands

57:27

because we actually have a big

57:29

group of Italians in here tonight

57:31

oh and there's a scholar bachelor

57:33

party it's improv and sketch okay

57:35

and so there's just there was

57:37

just such a learning curve of

57:39

being like oh yeah like American

57:41

humor is so specific to us

57:43

right and the rest of the

57:45

world is actually working on a

57:47

different level because the actual the

57:49

rest of the world is connected

57:51

to each other the rest of

57:53

the world is connected to each

57:55

other connected to Amsterdam you're not

57:57

even doing just Dutch humor it's

57:59

the all of Europe is visiting

58:02

each other they're all like traveling

58:04

to see each other they have

58:06

a train system so the audience

58:08

was different every night damn and

58:10

it's global and they're making fun

58:12

of each other in a much

58:14

better way that like we can't

58:16

do because our nation is like

58:18

you know white supremacist right when

58:20

we make fun of even Italians

58:22

everyone's like mmm mmm something racist

58:24

about that yeah I've done a

58:26

few white people jokes like in

58:28

my tiny stand-up set that I

58:30

have it's like a five-minute one

58:32

I have a lot of white

58:34

people jokes in it And some

58:36

offers I've gotten to do shows,

58:38

I've been like, I love the

58:40

comic, but their audiences like southern

58:42

straight white people. And I was

58:44

like, they are not going to

58:46

laugh at anything I have prepared

58:48

because they don't have the same

58:50

kind of understanding or humor. So

58:52

it's probably not going to translate

58:54

as well. Okay, so I also

58:56

performed the second city we toured

58:58

across the country. We did one

59:00

show in Ohio. We did not

59:02

know that the makeup of the

59:04

show was going to be. entirely

59:06

elderly and I'm talking 90 plus

59:08

90 plus all Republican the first

59:10

12 rows were wheelchairs okay okay

59:12

I'm talking 90 plus And so

59:14

we have the whole like political

59:16

comedy sketch show prepared for them

59:18

and then some improv slots and

59:20

the political comedy is eating more

59:22

shit than a turf. You know

59:24

what I mean? It's just failing,

59:27

failing, failing, failing. And so we

59:29

send out our angriest white guy

59:31

and we're like, do your worst.

59:33

And he goes out there to

59:35

improvise and he starts a scene

59:37

that's basically like, my wife is

59:39

so fucking annoying. And the audience

59:41

is like, It's Freddie Mercury when

59:43

he's like, doing the Queen's, that

59:45

big, uh, the H-A-S-A-S-A-S-L. Just all

59:47

these elderly people. Truly. I inter-inmission

59:49

had like, they were standing up

59:51

for the first time and 10

59:53

years too late. It's just killing.

59:55

It's absolutely killing. Oh my god.

59:57

On their knees. On their knees

59:59

for Scott. So funny. What's a

1:00:01

joke that. hits across the world

1:00:03

you would say when you were

1:00:05

in Amsterdam doing the comedy troupe?

1:00:07

Everybody likes ripping on the Germans.

1:00:09

Really? Nice. The tip to have.

1:00:11

It's really fun. They all have

1:00:13

a united enemy. Even the Germans,

1:00:15

I mean it's obviously it's us

1:00:17

like you know if you're making

1:00:19

a joke about Americans in Europe

1:00:21

it's just about IQ level because

1:00:23

we think we're so fucking superior

1:00:25

and the rest of the world

1:00:27

is like look at this. Angry

1:00:29

kids like they fucking hate us

1:00:31

man. It's embarrassing. I was lying

1:00:33

to people saying like I am

1:00:35

Dutch I Was over there like

1:00:37

just because a lot of the

1:00:39

Dutch speak English and so I

1:00:41

was fully over to just me

1:00:43

and I like hi everyone like

1:00:45

you know so nice to meet

1:00:47

you like lying I'm not getting

1:00:49

in a gay club like 100%

1:00:51

yes no and they they love

1:00:54

when we call ourselves stupid and

1:00:56

they love when we're like joke

1:00:58

about the Germans being so on

1:01:00

time They're like, like, those jokes

1:01:02

killed every night. Yo, yo, across

1:01:04

the world. No. Well, me and

1:01:06

my sister were on tour last

1:01:08

year. We watched, one night in

1:01:10

the bus, we watched Planet of

1:01:12

the Apes. And we love those

1:01:14

movies. And we're just big Planet

1:01:16

of the Apes. And then in,

1:01:18

I think it was Dallas. I

1:01:20

was like, doing a bit where

1:01:22

I would be, every time they

1:01:24

would like laugh or listen or

1:01:26

listen or do something good. I'd

1:01:28

be like apes together strong. killed

1:01:30

killed every time I said it

1:01:32

they were cackling what a beautiful

1:01:34

thing to find right and I

1:01:36

was like and I was like

1:01:38

oh period period next to we

1:01:40

go to war after it was

1:01:42

Austin Dallas Houston when we and

1:01:44

it oh Denver yeah we went

1:01:46

to Denver after we got out

1:01:48

of Texas it's like a night

1:01:50

two or two later I I

1:01:52

whip out the plan of the

1:01:54

apes joke probably 10 15 minutes

1:01:56

in not one laugh oh back

1:01:58

on the shelf I thought I

1:02:00

was going to kill every night.

1:02:02

I thought I was going to

1:02:04

kill every night. Just that one.

1:02:06

My, didn't hit the rest of

1:02:08

the door. Rest of the door?

1:02:10

Nobody laughing at that one. Isn't

1:02:12

it crazy? I like sometimes you

1:02:14

just find yourself like, like I

1:02:16

was on tour, we were not

1:02:18

slang one night, we were performing

1:02:21

for a group of veterans. Why

1:02:23

are you always performing in front

1:02:25

of these? You know this. When

1:02:27

you tour comedy, for some reason,

1:02:29

everybody that's in the audience is

1:02:31

there. against their will they're there

1:02:33

by gunpoint. No, it's not to

1:02:35

say it's like you don't have

1:02:37

to be here. No, it's if

1:02:39

they're not at like a comedy

1:02:41

club and even then it's like

1:02:43

kind of iffy. Yeah. They were

1:02:45

brought there by gunpoint by some

1:02:47

like union that they're in. Like

1:02:49

their bosses made them come for

1:02:51

some shit and we were kind

1:02:53

of like bombing so hard that

1:02:55

at one point I'm telling you

1:02:57

I hate the military industrial complex

1:02:59

I think it destroys souls and

1:03:01

worlds I went Thank you for

1:03:03

your service. You're doing the Lord's

1:03:05

work. Literally? That can. I'm doing

1:03:07

like an outro. And I go.

1:03:09

And then you're kind of like.

1:03:11

You got me got him a

1:03:13

little bit. You're like, you're like,

1:03:15

you're a little bit. You're like,

1:03:17

give me more. I went so

1:03:19

whole show. But I was like,

1:03:21

I think I'll compromise my values

1:03:23

here for like a little bit

1:03:25

of a little snack. Just anything.

1:03:27

And even my friend Scott who

1:03:29

was talking with me at the

1:03:31

time and he was like able

1:03:33

to do the life shit when

1:03:35

I came off He was like

1:03:37

you're doing the Lord's work The

1:03:39

fuck is that I got desperate

1:03:41

up there. I blocked out. They

1:03:43

weren't giving me anything. I needed

1:03:46

it. I needed it. At the

1:03:48

end of the day, I need

1:03:50

attention. So truly, I was like,

1:03:52

just a little finger. Just give

1:03:54

me something, anything. Okay, we'll go

1:03:56

down some more of these. Let's

1:03:58

see. It says that you were.

1:04:00

in a indie rock band called

1:04:02

Twin. And they named the band

1:04:04

Twin because they're a Gemini.

1:04:06

Yeah, well, that's, that's, that's

1:04:08

actual. Yeah. And I also, I

1:04:10

dated, I had dated a lot, I've

1:04:13

dated a lot of twins somehow.

1:04:15

I don't know what I'm attracting,

1:04:17

but I've dated a lot

1:04:19

of twins. That sounds kind

1:04:21

of scary. It can be. Like, like,

1:04:23

I feel like twins, when they get

1:04:25

to a certain age, it's like, can

1:04:27

enough. No more. You're no

1:04:30

longer a twin. I couldn't

1:04:32

agree more. Being a twin

1:04:34

is for children. And at

1:04:36

this point, you're 25 and

1:04:38

it's perverted. And you're

1:04:40

creepy and weird. So knock it

1:04:43

off. And if you ever were

1:04:45

the fucking same thing in front

1:04:47

of me? I'll have you arrested.

1:04:49

I don't care. I don't care.

1:04:51

Yeah, I hate the cops.

1:04:53

I believe in the police

1:04:55

again for that. Just for

1:04:57

twins. Yeah. A tab. That

1:05:00

is crazy. All twins are

1:05:02

bad. That's crazy. That's crazy

1:05:04

that you've just so happened

1:05:06

to date twins. I'm more

1:05:08

than once. More than once is

1:05:10

crazy. Yeah, I guess I'm problematic.

1:05:12

Were they identical? Yeah.

1:05:15

That's uncomfortable.

1:05:17

Imagine you're mad at them

1:05:19

and then their their sibling

1:05:22

comes and you're like. Yeah,

1:05:24

there's a lot of stuff I'll tell

1:05:26

you when we're not rolling. This is,

1:05:28

they used to be a part of

1:05:30

a sketch comedy duo called Mr. Beaver.

1:05:33

That's true. Where they performed live

1:05:35

shows with a sidekick called Cat

1:05:37

Piano. Yeah, that was some really

1:05:39

magical shit. We would improvise songs

1:05:42

on a piano that the keys

1:05:44

only made meows. Right. And listen,

1:05:46

you could be like, that sounds fucking

1:05:49

stupid as hell. We were tearing that

1:05:51

shit up. We were winning awards. You

1:05:53

know how hard it is to win

1:05:55

like awards for fucking improv? Like they

1:05:57

don't even, they made them for us.

1:06:00

Yeah, they were eating that cat

1:06:02

piano up. And I was really

1:06:04

fem at the time. Oh, okay.

1:06:06

And so they were just like,

1:06:08

this hot, tall girl. They're like,

1:06:10

I don't, I honestly

1:06:12

don't even remember the show,

1:06:15

but the person who's doing

1:06:17

it is hot. So listen, when

1:06:19

I was fem, that shit

1:06:21

was devastating. That shit was

1:06:24

devastating. I had to stop

1:06:26

being fem because I was

1:06:28

fucking your men. And

1:06:31

they were begging for it. Don't make

1:06:33

me start doing it again. They wanted

1:06:35

my fucking foot on their necks so

1:06:37

fucking bad. And I hated their ass

1:06:39

the whole time it was fucking happening.

1:06:41

I was like, you're disgusting. I'm on

1:06:43

top of them looking down like I'm

1:06:45

looking at a turd, okay? But they

1:06:47

were in my bed. You come talking

1:06:49

to me about my queerness? Bitch, I

1:06:51

did what you did. It sucked ass.

1:06:53

You think I'm jealous of yaw?

1:06:55

I tried your shit! I tried

1:06:57

your shit! Oh it sucks! You

1:07:00

said two stars. God damn! Two

1:07:02

stars on Uber. I'm sorry

1:07:04

that's really exploded out

1:07:06

of me. I let you have your

1:07:08

moment. It's crazy. Release it. You know

1:07:10

what I mean? I do actually feel

1:07:13

like that is the that is my

1:07:15

pretty privilege is like I know how

1:07:17

fucking trans I am because

1:07:19

I was not having an

1:07:22

experience like I was a gorgeous woman.

1:07:24

I was gorgeous. You know what I

1:07:26

mean? I was killing it and what

1:07:28

I did find I did not like like

1:07:31

I really felt I like I never

1:07:33

really felt like a woman and so

1:07:35

and I was such an awkward teenager

1:07:37

and then all of a sudden I

1:07:39

was in college and like really grew

1:07:41

into everything well and was

1:07:43

like just getting so much positive.

1:07:46

Well because it was hard. Yeah

1:07:48

I bet. Being being in that

1:07:50

like restriction it was like

1:07:52

suffocating I'm sure. It was what I

1:07:54

really found was it was dangerous

1:07:57

that like you could we're we're big and

1:07:59

we're loud right. And I felt

1:08:01

that when I was beautiful

1:08:03

and something that these men

1:08:06

wanted, they had to, they didn't

1:08:08

have the... social grace to just

1:08:10

really accept me for being smarter than

1:08:12

them and taller than them and better than

1:08:14

them at the things that they were doing

1:08:16

and so they would do this thing where

1:08:19

they would pretend to be kind to me

1:08:21

and then they'd get me in private and

1:08:23

violence what happened yeah you know what I

1:08:25

mean yeah absolutely and I am so grateful

1:08:27

I found such a beautiful queer community

1:08:29

I'm so grateful I found my

1:08:32

non-binary binary identity I'm so grateful

1:08:34

for transness as a way of

1:08:36

being as a way of understanding And

1:08:38

I'm telling you, it makes me care

1:08:40

for women harder. It makes me, because

1:08:43

I think that they're so, the most

1:08:45

violent place now for women, the most,

1:08:47

where we have the most reported incidents

1:08:49

of death and violence, is in the

1:08:51

fucking home. Yeah. That's where women are

1:08:53

getting injured. They're getting injured by men

1:08:55

that they love in their homes. Yeah,

1:08:57

but they sleep next to every night.

1:08:59

Yes. Yeah. Mary have kids with. Yeah.

1:09:02

It's important for, like, like, I have a

1:09:04

lot of guy friends. I demand. Kindness

1:09:06

from them. I demand excellence from

1:09:08

them. I do not take bullshit

1:09:10

when they're talking about the women

1:09:12

that they're seeing Yeah, and they

1:09:14

have grown with me. You know

1:09:17

what I mean? I love seeing relationships

1:09:19

like yours like that man is so

1:09:21

kind he's so handsome like he's there with

1:09:23

you He's supporting you like I actually

1:09:25

know that women have better options, but they

1:09:27

are so trained to take the least

1:09:29

yeah, and these men don't deserve you

1:09:31

better love this guy for real for real

1:09:34

I've even said to you like have

1:09:36

you watched adolescence the new show on the

1:09:38

things it's really really good but it's

1:09:40

like basically talking about a young boy like

1:09:42

a 13 year old boy it's not a secret's not a

1:09:44

spoiler but he like he kills a girl in his school

1:09:46

because she rejected him but it talks about how he got

1:09:49

indoctrinated by red paleology on social media that's like the whole

1:09:51

point of the show so it's not like who who did

1:09:53

it's why he did it's why he did it's why he

1:09:55

did it's why he did it's why he did it's why

1:09:57

he did it's why he did it's why he did it's

1:09:59

why all of those different like things those

1:10:01

very small things that happen in the home

1:10:04

that breed this air of like

1:10:06

entitlement to women and their bodies and

1:10:08

everything about them and how they they

1:10:10

genuinely hate them they don't like anything

1:10:12

about them they don't like anything about

1:10:14

them they just see them as objects

1:10:16

and things to use or abuse and so

1:10:18

like I have obviously I loved the show

1:10:21

because it was very well done I've said

1:10:23

many times there are many things I don't

1:10:25

platform on purpose because they are just that

1:10:27

horrifying And there have been a few stories

1:10:29

that I didn't include in my book because

1:10:32

they weren't like my stories to tell that I've

1:10:34

heard about like at my brother's high school. My brother

1:10:36

is going to be 21 this year. So when he

1:10:38

was in high school when I was still doing

1:10:40

this, there are things happening now like

1:10:42

where men are inflicting violence and they're

1:10:44

young, they're minors. They're like sophomores in

1:10:47

high school. Like it's just like how

1:10:49

young it starts like that understanding of

1:10:51

what women's places in this world and

1:10:53

where men sit and where men sit

1:10:55

and like. this indoctrination that is becoming

1:10:57

more and more accessible because of

1:10:59

things like social media, because of people

1:11:02

like Andrew Tay, like all that fucking

1:11:04

bullshit. But it's actually why we

1:11:06

are in such an environment.

1:11:08

environmental crisis. It's this

1:11:11

energy of extractivism where

1:11:13

these young boys are

1:11:15

basically being indoctrinated with

1:11:18

colonialism of like everything

1:11:20

that they see is there.

1:11:22

And they want to extract as

1:11:25

much as they can from it

1:11:27

without putting any effort into it

1:11:30

without renewing that resource

1:11:32

without and I think being

1:11:34

you know FEM for a minute. I did find

1:11:36

that they like I felt this like that they a

1:11:38

lot of men will just latch on to you and

1:11:40

they're like they are drawn to this resource that you

1:11:42

have which is your joy and your sex and

1:11:44

your whatever and they pull it from you

1:11:47

but they're not offering you anything in return

1:11:49

and I'm like that's extractivism and it's the

1:11:51

same thing that we do with our fucking

1:11:53

environment yeah you know what I mean we

1:11:55

are going into these places and we are

1:11:57

pulling oil from the earth but we're doing

1:11:59

nothing to protect her. Yeah, or

1:12:01

to replenish it anyway. And the

1:12:04

beauty of having experience as

1:12:06

a gorgeous woman is that now

1:12:08

in this like place of really

1:12:10

confident masculinity. Be the partner

1:12:12

that I wish I would

1:12:14

have had. Yeah, totally. You

1:12:16

know, absolutely. With my partner. I

1:12:18

really work hard because I am

1:12:21

there for her joy. I am

1:12:23

there for her sex. I am

1:12:25

there for her stories. I am

1:12:27

there for her intelligence. I am

1:12:29

there for so many of her

1:12:31

really these like soul assets that

1:12:34

she has. Yeah, you see her

1:12:36

as a person. Yes. As like

1:12:38

a whole person. I'm replenishing that

1:12:40

shit. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, it's reciprocal.

1:12:42

I'm giving her my energy. I'm

1:12:45

making sure I have a life

1:12:47

that's interesting. Yes, yes, I'm bringing

1:12:49

my friends to her. I'm making

1:12:51

sure that I'm dressed cute at

1:12:54

least 60% of the time. You

1:12:56

know, I'm doing things that because

1:12:58

I want this, this. beautiful

1:13:00

person to be a I want to

1:13:03

be able to experience her joy and

1:13:05

I think that men don't realize how much

1:13:07

work women are putting in to

1:13:09

continually give joy for real and

1:13:11

to keep people it's like the most

1:13:13

the most mundane things like it's just

1:13:15

the world doesn't move without women and

1:13:17

I and I felt like I love

1:13:19

women so dearly and that's why that's

1:13:21

why I felt like this was my

1:13:24

purpose was to like uh... guide them away

1:13:26

from that bullshit like and even in the

1:13:28

in the show adolescence like the dad like

1:13:30

in the beginning they're kind of trying to

1:13:32

figure out if the dad's like abusive

1:13:34

if he's like if he hits him

1:13:36

if anything like encouraging violence right uh...

1:13:38

but he doesn't like he has anger

1:13:40

issues but he's not violent or anything

1:13:42

like that And it's almost scarier that

1:13:44

way because I've told people that's actually

1:13:46

far more common that dynamic where you

1:13:48

have a father who does nothing more

1:13:50

than provide. There's no emotional needs being

1:13:53

met, spiritual needs like there's no checking

1:13:55

in just on general well-being. There's no

1:13:57

interest in what he likes. It's all

1:13:59

for... You're forcing him to try

1:14:01

and like things that you believe are

1:14:03

manly and then not checking in with

1:14:06

him and you're just going and working

1:14:08

and providing for the family. And you're

1:14:10

seeing that dumping money into something is

1:14:12

enough? Exactly. And that's why he turned

1:14:14

out that way. So I'm saying like

1:14:16

it's more like he's looking for that

1:14:18

like masculinity to latch on to because

1:14:20

his dad encourages that's what makes a

1:14:22

man. So he's not getting it from his

1:14:25

own dad so he finds it online and then

1:14:27

it turns out to be red pill shit.

1:14:29

misogynist or bigot in general, because

1:14:31

they're never just one facet of

1:14:33

bigotry, is far more insidious to me.

1:14:36

It's like someone who's a lunghead Jimbrough

1:14:38

that's like, fat bitch, big me a

1:14:40

sandwich. Like, obviously you could pick that

1:14:42

dude out of a lineup. Like for the most

1:14:45

part, all women are like, that's sexist, right?

1:14:47

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's men who have... I

1:14:49

don't know, gained the ability to somewhat

1:14:51

blend. They're dangerous. Giving men like, their

1:14:53

repizing language, like giving them insight to

1:14:55

how women think it has like made

1:14:57

them far more dangerous because they can

1:15:00

say things instead of something like that,

1:15:02

they'll say like, well I just want

1:15:04

to be able to take you out

1:15:06

of this masculine era and like put

1:15:08

you in your feminine era. That bitch

1:15:10

is the same. They're both bigots. They can

1:15:12

both eat my dick. That's how I feel

1:15:15

about them. I absolutely agree.

1:15:17

They're way more dangerous to me. Well,

1:15:19

and I think that, you know, the thing

1:15:21

that is really scary to sue people is

1:15:23

that, like, they're not even really talking

1:15:25

about gender anymore, and they're talking

1:15:27

about, like, their workplace identities. You

1:15:30

know what I mean? They're all

1:15:32

Patrick Bates. And you guys gross

1:15:34

me out. It's true. The way

1:15:37

that they're talking about like the

1:15:39

roles that they need to protect

1:15:41

from trans people. It's like, it's

1:15:44

psychotic. And actually, okay, so I

1:15:46

was watching Love is Blind. And

1:15:48

I watch a lot of the show like

1:15:50

this. But when I thought that some

1:15:52

of those men were being kind to

1:15:55

those women, I literally had the thing

1:15:57

of like, oh, I was like, some

1:15:59

of them were, cute. Some of those

1:16:01

guys are cute. And then when I

1:16:03

found out that they were basically

1:16:05

all being mean, I was like, those

1:16:07

are the ugliest men I've ever seen

1:16:09

in my life. And I think that

1:16:12

something that really we can... We need

1:16:14

to be honest about is that masculinity

1:16:16

is at its most beautiful when it's

1:16:18

in service to the feminine. Because the

1:16:20

feminine shines on the masculine. It's a

1:16:23

gorgeous thing to watch. I got this

1:16:25

like leg up in the grace fandom

1:16:27

because I was across from a woman

1:16:29

who looked at me like I hung

1:16:32

the moon and I looked at her

1:16:34

like she hung the moon. Yeah, exactly.

1:16:36

And so we had this thing where

1:16:38

the feminine was being worshipped and I

1:16:40

was getting the light from her. Yeah,

1:16:43

you know what I mean? And I

1:16:45

can see even when the relationship

1:16:47

was like dissolved that there was everything

1:16:49

I could physically see this like golden

1:16:52

light leave the room even in the

1:16:54

way they shot it and they're

1:16:56

capturing something that's honest like men that

1:16:58

are good to women are hot

1:17:00

to me. And I don't give a

1:17:03

fuck what the fuck you look

1:17:05

like if you're bad to a woman.

1:17:07

You are the ugliest little puddle of

1:17:09

mud on a fucking planet. And

1:17:11

when you were saying you have your

1:17:14

own interest too, I was thinking,

1:17:16

I was thinking about that clip that's

1:17:18

going really viral of that guy who

1:17:20

did the morning routine and the most

1:17:22

insane should have ever seen my wife. I

1:17:25

was thinking about that and I was like,

1:17:27

everything men like is fucking boring.

1:17:29

Oh my god. Literally ice? Oh my

1:17:31

god. Doing push-ups on the balcony at

1:17:33

4 am. Oh my god, everything men

1:17:35

like. Everything men like is so boring.

1:17:37

Like, even one time when I sometimes

1:17:39

when I hear like, because obviously. People

1:17:41

who are men who look like my dad

1:17:43

or like my man, my fiance, are

1:17:46

catnip to like the worst misogynist

1:17:48

in the world because they're

1:17:50

like, this guy gets it. He

1:17:52

looks like a masculine man, which

1:17:54

that's, you know, okay. That's how I

1:17:56

feel better, but every time men come

1:17:59

up to them. Did I took my dad

1:18:01

to a clippers game because

1:18:03

my dad loves basketball? Sick.

1:18:05

Took my dad to a clippers game.

1:18:08

My dad's like a bodybuilder

1:18:10

so my dad's like yoked right

1:18:12

now. He wore like a black

1:18:14

like just tight top like with

1:18:16

pants like tucked in and some

1:18:18

Jordans. Okay. I'm sorry to say

1:18:21

this I'm about to be on

1:18:23

my third dick. Hard. Yeah. I took

1:18:25

my dad there taking my dad in

1:18:27

a tank top to a clippers game.

1:18:29

It's like throwing a rib eye

1:18:31

in a tiger cage. The way all

1:18:34

men, it's no women, all men are

1:18:36

like, they have to come and

1:18:38

talk to my dad about his

1:18:40

bench press, hey you guys are

1:18:42

weird. You know, like when I

1:18:45

was talking to your sister earlier

1:18:47

about what they can squat, it

1:18:49

is because I'm a gay pervert,

1:18:51

you know? And so I actually

1:18:54

think that a lot of straight

1:18:56

men are also gay pervert.

1:18:59

And I would believe you honestly

1:19:01

I would believe you it's it's

1:19:03

like like the Andrew Tate worship

1:19:06

Yeah, I mean I'm gonna really

1:19:08

clarify this I mean gay in like the

1:19:10

way that straight people mean gay

1:19:12

when they're like thus gay Yeah,

1:19:14

like that like you don't you're

1:19:16

not gay like me. I'm beautiful

1:19:18

You're gay like thus gay. Yeah

1:19:20

gay perver What also it's just

1:19:22

kind of like the things they

1:19:25

be doing sometimes when they're

1:19:27

alone I'm like Guys are so

1:19:29

weird. You're absolutely, gay men like

1:19:31

women more than straight men like

1:19:33

women. No shit. I mean they're,

1:19:35

given our worshiping divas and straight

1:19:37

men, look at their own wives

1:19:40

and they're like, get out! I

1:19:42

watched one of my friends make a

1:19:44

video recently, this will be the

1:19:46

last silly thing I say, but she

1:19:48

made a video recently, she was talking

1:19:50

about, she sees groups of women, she

1:19:53

sees groups of women, like... they're like doing

1:19:55

something together going somewhere. I'm like, God, that

1:19:57

looks so fun. So every time I see.

1:19:59

I'm like, what are we talking about ladies?

1:20:02

Like, that's how I feel and they're laughing.

1:20:04

When I see groups of men together, I'm

1:20:06

like, well, clearly they just committed a

1:20:08

crime and they are coming back from

1:20:10

something. That's, we call that a murderer.

1:20:12

Like, it's like a murder of crows and

1:20:15

some murder and that. And I, I commented

1:20:17

on the video because when I, uh. My

1:20:19

sister and I were in Vancouver. We did

1:20:21

a live show in Vancouver not too

1:20:23

long ago. We went to a movie

1:20:25

one of the days we were there.

1:20:27

And there weren't that many people in

1:20:29

the theater. It was like our group

1:20:32

of like nine and then like maybe

1:20:34

a few other couples in the

1:20:36

theater. A group of seven grown men

1:20:38

come in the theater, sit right

1:20:40

behind us, talk the whole talking time

1:20:42

about, you guessed it stocks. This is

1:20:45

why we can't get rid of the

1:20:47

death penalty. We can't get rid of

1:20:49

it. And I was like, what are

1:20:51

these grown men doing, seeing a

1:20:53

movie together? What are you guys

1:20:55

doing? You're doing something bad.

1:20:57

You're doing something bad. You're

1:20:59

doing something sinister. I was

1:21:02

like, and I kept going... the whole

1:21:04

time just in case they did something.

1:21:06

Well it would be normal I would

1:21:08

be happy that they had their little

1:21:10

friend group if they had not chosen

1:21:13

to sit behind the two women. Just

1:21:15

learn how to be together and not

1:21:17

be scary. I know I was like

1:21:19

you just learn how to be together

1:21:21

and not be scary. I know I

1:21:24

was like you just need to rebrand

1:21:26

or something because you're like seven

1:21:28

grown men together I don't

1:21:30

like it. We watched the

1:21:32

movie companion. It was really

1:21:35

good. But obviously, like, the

1:21:37

whole point is that he,

1:21:39

like, doesn't see women as

1:21:41

real people, so he has

1:21:43

a robot girlfriend. Spoiler.

1:21:46

But in the thing, like, it's,

1:21:48

they would laugh at the parts

1:21:50

that weren't, they were,

1:21:53

like, satirically funny. They're

1:21:55

not supposed to be

1:21:57

actually funny, so it's like,

1:22:00

don't make

1:22:03

me turn

1:22:06

around. I

1:22:09

was like,

1:22:11

that's

1:22:14

not supposed

1:22:18

to be funny.

1:22:22

These guys are fucking gross. And

1:22:24

I was like, period king, tell them.

1:22:26

Do you know the reason that they're

1:22:29

so angry is because they actually do

1:22:31

have so much work to do? Like

1:22:33

I do get it. Like we said,

1:22:35

we're sharks. So I've been there at

1:22:37

the end of a long day when

1:22:39

I find out that there's more assignments

1:22:41

for me to do. Like I got

1:22:44

to contact my manager again, like all

1:22:46

this shit. I get pissed off. And

1:22:48

if every time, if like every thought

1:22:50

I had I had to change that.

1:22:52

I can imagine being frustrated. See? Look

1:22:54

at my empathy. Yeah, look at that.

1:22:56

Well, we went over so many things

1:22:58

today. Yeah. Obviously, you know, we're

1:23:00

in love, so you can come

1:23:03

back whenever. Forever. Forever. And always.

1:23:05

But I would love to know,

1:23:07

because you're a literal multi-hyphenic creative,

1:23:10

you're so talented. Wait, before I

1:23:12

ask you this question. I think

1:23:14

you are so incredible in so

1:23:17

many ways. Obviously, I jerk you

1:23:19

off all the time about how

1:23:22

talented you are, but past that,

1:23:24

I think just you, in general,

1:23:26

succeeding in such a creative space,

1:23:29

at so many different

1:23:31

mediums, being exactly

1:23:33

who you are and saying the

1:23:35

things you do, I admire you. I

1:23:37

think you're so amazing and I

1:23:39

look up too. Likewise. The work

1:23:42

that I think you're like the work that

1:23:44

you are doing I think is Generationally

1:23:46

like it's generationally important.

1:23:48

Thank you. I feel that way about yours,

1:23:50

too. Thank you look at us. We're just

1:23:53

standing together. I'm gonna cry And then

1:23:55

we're gonna kiss. Yes. Oh, and then I gotta

1:23:57

start the dark thing. That's a whole other

1:23:59

thing Yeah, a long time. Well, to

1:24:01

kind of wrap it up, do

1:24:04

you have any advice for anyone

1:24:06

within the LGBTQIA plus community as

1:24:08

a whole or just in general

1:24:10

that maybe want to pursue the

1:24:12

creative art form and maybe are

1:24:14

a little nervous about doing multiples?

1:24:16

Maybe they feel underrepresented. Do you

1:24:19

have any advice for them? I

1:24:21

think we are entering a extremely

1:24:23

fascist and violent era. And I

1:24:25

know that you're scared. And I

1:24:27

am scared. But they don't deserve

1:24:29

our fear. And we can't live

1:24:31

there all the time. We can

1:24:33

visit the fear, but we can't

1:24:36

live there all the time. And

1:24:38

the only thing that topples regimes,

1:24:40

the only thing that ever works.

1:24:42

is love and art. And you

1:24:44

have to make love, and you

1:24:46

have to make art, and you

1:24:48

gotta do it well, and you

1:24:51

gotta enjoy it, and you gotta

1:24:53

not care if the money comes,

1:24:55

because that's when the money comes,

1:24:57

and stop thinking about fucking capitalism

1:24:59

all the time. Listen, if fascism

1:25:01

takes over and they take our

1:25:03

economy, we're gonna be struggling regardless.

1:25:05

So at least make sure you're

1:25:08

struggling doing something you love that

1:25:10

keeps your integrity intact. There's... Free

1:25:12

Palestine. Period! Look at that! Everyone

1:25:14

give them a round of applause!

1:25:16

Obviously we would never run for

1:25:18

president. Sometimes people, I would vote

1:25:20

for you for president. Thank you.

1:25:23

It was my point. But sometimes

1:25:25

someone said, you should run for

1:25:27

president. I said, I would never

1:25:29

want to be in charge of

1:25:31

this God for sake of country.

1:25:33

No. Fuck that. No way. And

1:25:35

somehow like the things that I

1:25:37

like Google when I'm high would

1:25:40

get released. And it's like, and

1:25:42

no one needs to see that.

1:25:44

Are birds really naked underneath the

1:25:46

feathers? No, we're gonna we'll just

1:25:48

leave it here. You're like kind

1:25:50

of a mystery that Wait, okay,

1:25:52

Amanda I want you to this

1:25:55

is a note to bleep this

1:25:57

the last thing I googled was

1:26:00

Because I was trying to show the

1:26:02

video to my cousin. I was like

1:26:04

trying to show that. If that was

1:26:06

leaked, I would be the first one

1:26:09

to be like, Drew told me that

1:26:11

this is the only thing that gets

1:26:13

her up in the morning. If I

1:26:15

was in that video and I saw

1:26:17

how people were talking about me, I

1:26:20

would say that's AI. It's getting out

1:26:22

of control. AI is getting out of

1:26:24

control. I would be suing Elon. I

1:26:26

just wanted to mention that was the

1:26:28

last thing I Google to. That whole

1:26:31

that whole line is gonna be believed.

1:26:33

Iconic. Iconic. Anyways, thank you so much

1:26:35

to my amazing guest ER for coming

1:26:37

back for an all-star episode. You're the

1:26:39

best. Thank you for having me. I

1:26:42

cannot wait to suck your dick. Me

1:26:44

too. Again, round two. Round two. If

1:26:46

you're not already, I know you all

1:26:48

are, but if you're not following ER,

1:26:50

where can everybody finds you. And you

1:26:53

can find me at Genderless Gap ad

1:26:55

on Instagram. You can find me at

1:26:57

ER Fight Master on TikTok. I'm getting

1:26:59

better on there. I don't like to

1:27:01

be seeing you post on there. I've

1:27:04

been on there a little bit. I

1:27:06

remember it existed recently. And you can

1:27:08

listen to my sports podcast jocular wherever

1:27:10

you get your podcast. And you can

1:27:12

listen to my music, Fight Master, wherever

1:27:15

you get your music. Love. And that's

1:27:17

perfect because. new episodes of the comment

1:27:19

section drop every Wednesday you can stream

1:27:21

the audio on all streaming platforms but

1:27:23

the video lists for free and exclusively

1:27:26

on our favorite platform Spotify which is

1:27:28

perfect because then you can listen to

1:27:30

ER's music discography please listen to the

1:27:32

whole thing and you can listen to

1:27:34

this episode then you can listen to

1:27:37

the other episode all things ER fight

1:27:39

master you can find on the comment

1:27:41

section because we're huge fans thank you

1:27:43

and obviously we're in love yeah I

1:27:45

love it a sister wife I'm a

1:27:48

sister wife with your wife with your

1:27:50

partner no Just like the word bitch.

1:27:52

Yeah. My mind's blowing. Thank you all

1:27:54

so much so much

1:27:56

for tuning into this

1:27:59

episode, I'll see

1:28:01

you next week, I'll see

1:28:03

you next week. Bye!