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moved on a native land and

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were like a penis shaped car.

1:07

Someone in your fucking family. Someone,

1:09

yeah. Yeah, have fun with that.

1:12

Have fun with that, bitch. And

1:20

welcome back to another episode

1:22

of the comment section show.

1:24

Sorry, me, your favorite, everybody

1:26

knows me, who cares about me.

1:28

On to the guest. Today, we

1:30

have the iconic, the hilarious, the

1:32

unbelievably intelligent,

1:35

Reb Mazel. Whoo! Whoo! Can't tell you

1:37

enough how much I love you. I'm

1:39

only on just to meet you. I'm

1:41

just, I'm leaving in five minutes.

1:43

I'm honored. Well, and I'm getting an episode.

1:45

And I'm getting. I'm better than them so

1:48

yeah I want to return the sentiment huge

1:50

fan you and I have been yep online

1:52

Bessie's for a minute absolutely yes I think

1:54

we've been when we became mutuals I shit

1:56

my pants. I think everyone in my group,

1:58

all my gays in Dallas, were like, you're

2:00

lying, you're fucking joking, like where, where, can

2:03

you text her right now? I'm like, well,

2:05

that's not really how it, things, not really

2:07

how it works. But I remember it was

2:09

like 2021, I think, when you were, it

2:11

was like all your videos, both of our

2:13

videos, both of our videos, all of our

2:15

videos, both of our videos, were like a

2:18

little blurry, like 2021, I think, when you

2:20

were, it was like, it was like 2021,

2:22

it was like, it was like, it was

2:24

like, I was like, like, like, like, like,

2:26

like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like,

2:28

like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like,

2:30

like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like,

2:33

like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like,

2:35

like, like, like, like Bowman was on I

2:37

told Bowman too I'm like something humiliating about

2:39

looking at my past ones is because since

2:41

I was a journalism student and I did

2:43

broadcast journalism in my major I had a

2:45

really really mean fucking professor who told me

2:48

that I should change the tenor of my

2:50

voice. Like I should try to raise the

2:52

octave of it when I'm on camera because

2:54

it's more appealing because it sounds more feminine.

2:56

So I was like, no for sure, for

2:58

sure, for sure, for sure. When she told

3:00

me I was pissed, but I was like,

3:03

I need to graduate and I'm taking that

3:05

degree with me and she hated me. So

3:07

she was like looking for reasons to not,

3:09

let me pass. And so I would literally

3:11

sound like Mickey Mouse when I watched them

3:13

back. I feel like almost the exact opposite

3:15

was kind of pitched to us through law

3:18

school lawyering, whatever, is you don't want to

3:20

sound like a woman. The moment it comes

3:22

out of a woman's mouth, no one's going

3:24

to believe it. All for the same reasons,

3:26

which is right. Yeah, I mean, listen, look

3:28

and listen. And I think my voice. got

3:30

deeper just out of probably spite too because

3:33

I like I like making men uncomfortable and

3:35

when I'm taller and my voice is deeper

3:37

that's a crazy one two punch in a

3:39

courtroom that's wild for them to have to

3:41

face right crazy town and then they're going

3:43

home to a divorce than a kid who

3:45

hasn't spoken to them in two months I'm

3:48

like yeah that's just the circle yeah so

3:50

if I'm gonna talk like this then I'm

3:52

gonna talk like this if that makes some

3:54

pissed if that makes some piss so that

3:56

that makes some piss but Yeah, that's how

3:58

it sounds I hate it. I'm like I

4:00

think Kay said this in your last episode,

4:03

the most stressed ever been in my life,

4:05

the most physically, not ASMR, not with that,

4:07

no chance. Well, I'd love to know how

4:09

you got on TikTok, like what made you

4:11

want to start joining, start making content.

4:14

Like everything, horrible, I think Kay

4:16

said this in your last episode,

4:18

you know, shitty life circumstance, the

4:20

most stressed ever been in my

4:22

life, the most physically mentally ill,

4:24

and then my little sister. bullying

4:27

me which you know always makes me

4:29

do something she's like you need to

4:31

get on tech talk right but i

4:33

remember in early days early days love

4:36

The video that I posted that

4:38

was like the viral one for

4:40

lawyer related things is I was in

4:42

my lawyer fit, outfit, whatever, and I

4:44

made a tick-talk and a bunch of the

4:47

comment, you know, like half the comments were

4:49

like, oh my God, yay, you know, a

4:51

girl is in law, we're here, oh God,

4:53

we've been here, and then a bunch of

4:55

men, you know, boys, whoever yelling, at me.

4:57

And I started responding to them easily. I

4:59

think one of them said, oh, you know,

5:01

wouldn't it be, it would be a travesty

5:03

if, you know, a woman judge was the

5:05

one to decide your fate. And I think

5:08

I responded and said, well, didn't. your mom

5:10

decided your fate when she decided not to

5:12

abort you. And jury's still out on whether

5:14

that was the right choice, right? Like I

5:16

don't know. Based off this interaction, I'm going

5:18

to lean towards no. I'm going to lean

5:21

toward absolutely not. Yeah. And so then, you

5:23

know, things just kept, I kept posting my

5:25

bullshit the same as we always do. And

5:27

yeah, here we are. And obviously been inspired

5:29

by also so many other people on the

5:31

platform. I think a lot of people talk

5:33

about, you know, you know, you have a following

5:35

or you have a following or whatnot. how it

5:38

started, but I think what kept it going,

5:40

honestly, instead of just saying, okay, you, I

5:42

mean, there's always a point, I don't know

5:44

how it was for you, where you were like,

5:46

okay, if this went away tomorrow, I wouldn't really

5:48

give a fuck, right? Or like, oh, like, sometimes

5:51

you wake up and you're like, ah, I want

5:53

to do this anymore? Like, what kept you on

5:55

it, right? Like, what kept you doing doing it?

5:57

And for me, it was all of the other

5:59

people. on the app, including you, who were

6:02

in their own power and in their

6:04

own individualism, who were doing the damn

6:06

thing no matter what it was, whether

6:08

it be like shitting on men online

6:10

or doing their fucking worms, they're getting

6:12

ready with me, you know, and looking

6:14

great doing it. Yeah. I was like,

6:16

yeah, like if someone's gonna represent... this

6:19

culture this profession or this sense of

6:21

humor I guess I can be one

6:23

of them that's fine and hopefully imply

6:25

the voices that matter too in this

6:27

space but yeah and also it's just

6:29

fun just funny and fun well it

6:31

was very apparent to me at in

6:33

the beginning other than you being a

6:36

lawyer because I didn't need to know

6:38

that to know that you're fucking smart.

6:40

And I told Kay this too, I

6:42

love a smart bitch. Oh, I love

6:44

a bitch who's smart and I love

6:46

a bitch who's eloquent and can talk

6:48

fast and use big words. That's my

6:51

type of shit. Yeah. Yeah. That's my

6:53

bitch. And that's why I think you

6:55

love Kay too, it's like, I love

6:57

when really cool, stunning. beautiful women unassuming

6:59

women just eat the fuck out of

7:01

a sentence just chew on every word

7:03

every bowel and the men in the

7:05

comments are misspelling the word rhetoric like

7:08

they can't even fucking breed yeah they're

7:10

just shook their favorite words yeah and

7:12

then also you know they they comment

7:14

they comment and they comment and they're

7:16

like oh you know she's all beauty

7:18

no brains I'm like well you've been

7:20

living with neither and we haven't we've

7:22

left you be here you're doing okay

7:25

right you're doing okay right you're doing

7:27

okay right you're still breathing I don't

7:29

want to be right all the time.

7:31

It's daunting. They make me more mad

7:33

than regular hate. That was going to

7:35

be my next question is like, how

7:37

has it been dealing with hate? Because

7:40

I feel like you get similar hate

7:42

to me because we're like existing in

7:44

the same neighborhood on TikTok. We kind

7:46

of come across the same shit, but

7:48

from men mostly. We're right and we

7:50

stand on business and yeah. I don't

7:52

want to be right all the time.

7:54

It's daunting. They make it so easy.

7:57

And also, it's like, it's like, it's

7:59

not that, I mean, it's not that

8:01

hard to be this right. You know

8:03

what I mean? Like, you can just

8:05

read a book, open Google one time.

8:07

No, like dead-ass. I did it, one

8:09

of my first, like, I would say,

8:11

like, when I was building it, like, and I

8:14

was doing videos, like, every fucking day,

8:16

there was always, like, like, someone new

8:18

to pick on. Man, miss it sometimes, sometimes.

8:20

And then Tic Talk was like, you can't

8:22

bully people anymore. Yeah, yeah. Like the straight

8:25

alt-right. Oh yeah, they snared me because they

8:27

gave me that blue check mark and then

8:29

they were like, actually you're not allowed to

8:31

do this anymore. And I was like, well,

8:33

fuck. Perfect. Yeah. Well, not what am I,

8:36

you guys clip my wings, now what am

8:38

I supposed to do? Yep. There was a

8:40

guy that, you know, they love circulating. pseudoscience

8:42

as if it's fact and then they talk

8:45

about like parabonding and then I was like

8:47

do you guys know where parabonding like

8:49

does anyone know where that comes

8:51

from because I me thinks no

8:53

yeah it comes from fucking birds

8:55

so like yeah bird brains and

8:58

human brains different because their

9:00

whole thing was that women

9:02

shouldn't sleep with more

9:04

people because their parabonding

9:07

psychology in birds that they

9:09

noticed was that female birds would link

9:11

up with ones that would carry on

9:14

their strongest like genetics. So

9:16

like and you are the four and

9:18

you're not getting picked in that world

9:20

either in that in the world of

9:22

birds you're also getting left on it.

9:24

You're not even employee of the month

9:26

at Game Store. That's crazy. People are

9:28

getting picked over you for that. Yeah

9:30

if you were a bird you'd be

9:32

ignored. So how is it been because

9:34

you're obviously you're a working woman too. So

9:36

how has it been when you started growing

9:39

your like platform online? How was that

9:41

kind of melding with your professional world?

9:43

Yeah, I mean it I've kept it

9:45

super separate which is good which yeah and

9:47

I've taken strides to do that which I

9:49

think that people do have this idea that

9:52

oh if you're gonna be or hold yourself

9:54

out to be a professional online or you

9:56

know your day job online then it's just

9:58

you automatically need to. cross those worlds and

10:01

do a day in the life and you

10:03

know have me in your boss's office like

10:05

doing a doing a fucking story time like

10:07

that no like I don't do that I

10:10

don't have anyone in my videos for a

10:12

reason I don't want people to connect where

10:14

I work or who I work with whatever

10:17

and with the cases that I'm on and

10:19

I got an a an ethics bitch I

10:21

know how this lawyer's like I'm there like

10:23

well isn't this privilege isn't this comment whatever

10:26

I'm like you know y' y' y' y'

10:28

y' y' y' y'y'y'y'y'y'y'y'y'y'y'y'y'y'y'y'y'y'y'y'y'y'y'y'y'y'h'h'h'h'h'h'h'h'h'h'h'h'h'h'h'h'h'h'h'h'h'h'h'h'h'h' And so it's

10:30

been great because it didn't. I've

10:32

never been... This episode is brought

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recognized by a judge that has

11:27

been hearing my case or like lawyers across

11:29

the opposing council before maybe

11:31

one time potentially when it was

11:33

a younger girl who kind of looked at

11:35

me weird and then just same thing and

11:37

I don't think they would have yeah but

11:39

a lot of people in my office I mean

11:41

one of my first days I mean one of

11:43

my first days I was peeed my pants my

11:45

first days one of my new firms I get,

11:47

you know, I'm literally being set up, like quite

11:50

little, like sitting down at my desk on my

11:52

desk and shit, and they're like, press this number

11:54

and this is your phone and it has your

11:56

name on it and whatever, and I immediately get

11:58

a phone call, and my office, I'm like... Okay, this

12:00

is weird. And I answer and it's one of

12:02

the partners like the big named on the

12:04

fucking nameplate partners Down the hall and he

12:06

goes is this Rebsle and I immediately was

12:08

like oh, we're fucked I was like we're

12:10

not I was like packing my shit. I'm

12:12

throwing I'm scoop girl Well, I thank you

12:15

all for the opportunity. Oh, I'm scooping shit

12:17

into a bag. I'm like well, I'm taking

12:19

the free souvenirs thought that and he he

12:21

I mean and I said and I said

12:23

Yes, and immediately hung up the phone, I

12:25

hear silly pounding steps, because he's bigger, right?

12:27

He's bigger man. Pounding steps, like flipped around

12:29

into my office and goes, you need to

12:32

show me how to step this fucking ring

12:34

light. And I'm like, perfect. You're like, King,

12:36

let me help you. Go into his office,

12:38

we're setting up his ring light, he's like,

12:40

how do we, we need to get, you

12:42

know, we put the firm on the map,

12:45

etc, etc. And I'm just like, okay. Jesus

12:47

Christ. So yeah, so people assume that I

12:49

walk into a firm and everyone doesn't take

12:51

me serious. I'm like, you would be shocked

12:53

the number of clowns that are in this field.

12:56

Great ones and bad ones. I mean, you, first

12:58

thing I learned when I went into this field

13:00

is 80% of us, is 80% of us are

13:02

really dumb. Which is fine, but you know, someone's

13:04

got to be wrong. Which is probably the case

13:06

for most professions. Exactly. I was thinking about the

13:09

other day, I was like, you never walk into a doctor's

13:11

office and go, you know, what rank were you at? in

13:13

your college and your bed school. No, you just kind of

13:15

trust. Yeah, you just say well they're a doctor. Yeah, so

13:17

now every time my mom will try to be like setting

13:19

me up with people. Well, he's he's a lawyer. I'm like,

13:21

oh, I'm like, okay, let me see his transcript. Like, let

13:23

me see what grade he got in fucking sib pro. Like,

13:25

where is he work? You know what I mean? Like, oh,

13:27

he's like, yeah. I'm so curious. Did you always want to

13:29

always want to be a lawyer. Did you always want to

13:31

be a lawyer? Did you always want to be a lawyer?

13:33

Did you always want to be a lawyer? Did you always

13:35

want to be a lawyer? No, you're just argumentative

13:37

because that was why I thought I

13:40

wanted to be a lawyer. See, yeah,

13:42

I know I didn't know what I

13:44

wanted to do. I just liked school

13:46

I was good at school and I

13:48

liked school and I loved being right.

13:50

Me too. Right? So, right? Yeah, you're

13:53

so me. Yeah, no, I I just

13:55

love doing that and so I you

13:57

know, I just wanted to have fun

13:59

in college went to used to Santa

14:01

Barbara, go to Gauchos, love that damn

14:03

school. I shotgun a lot of beers

14:06

on a lot of decks, didn't really

14:08

go to class much. My GPA was

14:10

not that great. And I came home,

14:12

I went up, I studied abroad, you

14:15

know, and then never stopped talking about

14:17

it for the next time. Yeah, you

14:19

have to, that's your culture. Uh-huh, yeah,

14:22

that's my culture. And then, yeah, I

14:24

came home, I quite literally got home

14:26

and it, got home and it,

14:28

got home and it, thinking about

14:30

my career and shit. I was

14:32

thinking I was just going to

14:34

keep going to school. I mean,

14:36

I was just going to like

14:38

go to grad school, whatever,

14:40

get my masters in history or

14:42

some shit. And she said, yeah, you

14:45

should just take the LSAT. So I

14:47

did. And it worked out. I

14:49

got a scholarship based on the

14:51

LSAT score because that GPA,

14:53

I was not. I need to

14:55

overtell. That's true. OK. OK. Look

14:57

at you know, best. natives attorney in

15:00

L.A. County. Oh well I've worked

15:02

at a firm for 10 years.

15:04

That's all so nepotism. Right exactly.

15:06

Oh exactly. I'm happy for you.

15:08

I'm happy for you. Yeah yeah

15:10

I'm doing perfect. Congratulations. Congratulations you

15:12

still dress like shit like you

15:14

still that suit still doesn't fit

15:16

your fucking shoulder. It's like be

15:18

fucking shoulder. Listening to people chirp

15:21

about how they have a better

15:23

chance of doing better in law

15:25

school because they you know have

15:27

all this stuff. It's like four

15:29

hours and it's half multiple choice

15:31

half essay. And that's it. And

15:33

you're curved. You're curved against. Everyone

15:35

in your class, uh, good fucking luck, only

15:37

10 people are allowed to get A's, and

15:39

I started getting A's, and all the people

15:42

who were allowed as hell started getting real

15:44

quiet by the end of the year. So,

15:46

yeah, so if you want to go to

15:48

law school and you don't have any legal

15:50

background, you can still do it. And be

15:52

fine. And be my God. Yeah, really good

15:54

at it. Yeah, really good at it. Do

15:56

you feel like you've found yours? Yeah, hell,

15:59

yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know, it's funny, it's

16:01

like when I was in college, I

16:03

thought about doing law, but more specifically

16:05

entertainment law. Like I was like, I

16:07

feel like I could really get in

16:10

there. More specifically because I was thinking,

16:12

and we have this in common too,

16:14

our dad's used to play sports professionally.

16:16

My dad was an NFL player, my

16:18

dad was an NFL player for a

16:20

minute, and yours was an NFL player

16:23

for a minute, which is why you're

16:25

also, my dad used to play sports

16:27

professionally, which is rarer. I mean. we're

16:29

both going to be. Focked with our feet in like 10,

16:31

20 years. Like on, on, on, I'm God, people will be like, oh

16:33

my God, you're wearing four inch heels in court. I'm like, I need

16:35

to be intimidating and I know my husband's already, I love being tall.

16:38

I love it so much. I love it so much. I love it.

16:40

I used to hate it when I was younger, but that was my

16:42

internal. I used to hate it when I was younger, but that was.

16:44

But that I used to hate it when I was. But I was

16:46

younger when I was younger when I was younger when I was my

16:48

internal, it when I was younger when I was, it was younger when

16:50

I was, it was younger when I was, it when I was, it

16:53

when I was, it when I was, it when I was younger when

16:55

I was, it when I was, it when I was, I was, I

16:57

was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was,

16:59

I was, I was But we have such similar

17:01

origin stories. But I think I went

17:03

into, I was thinking about entertainment law because

17:05

my dad kind of got dicked on

17:07

his deals. And so I was thinking,

17:09

I was like, I'd love to be

17:11

a lawyer for athletes who are like

17:13

fighting for the athlete as opposed to

17:16

like for the organization. So that's

17:18

kind of what kind of what I entertained

17:20

and I also love school. Yes. Wait, what

17:22

sign are you? Sage series. Okay. Violently sad.

17:24

Yeah, I'm a sage rising. Okay. And

17:26

both my mom and sister are both

17:28

sages. I fire women all in my

17:31

life. Love that. Love that for us.

17:33

But I think once I found out

17:35

I was like, oh wait, journalism gets

17:37

me more attention. Yep. I'm gonna

17:39

do that. Absolutely. What gets me looked at

17:41

the most. being on camera. I'm going to

17:43

do that. 100%. But I still went into

17:46

sports because I felt like, you know, I

17:48

think looking back I'm like, oh I could

17:50

redeem my dad and like still make a

17:52

name for us. Turns out they don't want

17:54

either of us there. Turns out they did

17:56

both of your eyes. Yeah, they said, what's

17:58

your last name? Fire. Yeah. Man,

18:01

that's when I got fired. My dad was like, man,

18:03

they really don't want us in there. Yeah inspired

18:06

generation Generational

18:09

hate Sometimes I

18:11

think when bad shit happens to me like that

18:13

where I'm like, that's just weird You know for

18:15

something bad like that happened twice You have a

18:17

Mormon side of your family and I have a

18:19

Mormon side of my family I'm not Mormon. She's

18:21

don't don't like don't all freak out on me

18:23

like whatever But but I think you know listen

18:25

Native American curses I believe in that shit and

18:27

they had every right and every reason I've seen

18:30

holes bitch All right, she listen like they

18:32

curse in it and it stays it stays

18:34

And I know for a fact that every

18:36

time anytime I get a flat tire anytime,

18:38

you know Something happens to me that happened

18:40

to my mother like a month before I'm

18:42

like, you know what this is just what

18:44

this is What we're owed this is the

18:46

karma that we were given a hundred and

18:48

fifty years ago Right we're not in our

18:50

own business right fucking American West, right and

18:52

that's fair So the NFL was was telling

18:55

you basically listen girl. This is the worst

18:57

that could happen. Yeah They're saying you want

18:59

to be a part of this this fine system.

19:01

Just kidding. Yeah. Yeah. No for real Yeah, you're

19:03

gonna be rich and famous get the fuck

19:05

out though. Yeah, I'm gonna cry right now We're

19:07

gonna make you cry. I've said before like

19:09

I think I always believe like my that's my

19:11

ancestors when I'm not listening They got to

19:13

do something crazy. Yeah, so like and because

19:15

I'm someone who loves school I loved

19:17

like being the best at things. That's

19:19

like when people ask me like How did

19:22

you get past this like male validation thing?

19:24

My validation has never come from men It's

19:26

almost always come from me being better. Yeah,

19:28

anyone at anything competitive. Yeah, like any fault

19:30

And I got that from my father. You

19:32

probably got it from your fuck like I

19:34

actually got mine from my mom Okay, incredible.

19:36

My dad is so like whatever. Yeah, everything.

19:38

My dad is not my dad's never I

19:40

mean with football games. I have scars like

19:42

that shit was not that shit was serious

19:45

I know there's certain things that my family

19:47

is not allowed to do together anymore Like

19:49

we're not allowed to go cart

19:51

together anymore Because almost killed me my

19:53

mom literally almost killed me and when we go

19:55

cart at one time one time We went

19:57

as a family one fucking time my

19:59

mom almost killed me. My brother cried

20:01

and then I lost three acrylics

20:03

that day and then my dad

20:05

was like, no one's going anymore.

20:07

You're telling me you're one. No

20:09

one's were banned from go cry.

20:11

I have to, I banned Dodgeball,

20:14

we're not allowed to play that

20:16

anymore. Okay, perfect. That's my fiance

20:18

and my mom are too intense about

20:20

Dodgeball, but my fiance has a

20:23

really, he has, he gets a

20:25

very weird joy out of throwing

20:27

things at people. So he's too

20:30

much. his MCL ACL playing, literally

20:32

playing like a company dodgeball game.

20:34

He like slid, he slid home

20:36

a little too fucking hard. And

20:39

I'm like, I heard I was like, oh, where'd you

20:41

go? You know, because of course I see that fat

20:43

fucking scar, you know, and I'm thinking, oh, you know,

20:45

here's the story of like, I would have gone pro

20:47

type shit. And then we were still in that stage

20:49

where I was like, you know, he's still proving himself

20:51

out of prison, out stage where I was like, side,

20:53

you know, he's still proving himself out of prison, out

20:55

of prison, out stage where I was like, side, you

20:57

know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you

20:59

know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you

21:01

know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you

21:03

know, you know, you know, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's,

21:05

he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's,

21:07

he's, he's, he Yeah, no, it was horrifying.

21:09

At a company dodgeball

21:12

game. At a company

21:14

dodgeball game. And I know

21:16

a guy, I mean, and law

21:19

firms, too, we, I mean, people

21:21

are like, you know, law firms,

21:23

you imagine, everyone's super, which they

21:25

are, but people, what you imagine,

21:27

right, is like, you know, a

21:29

bunch of white dudes in a

21:31

room and suits jerking each other

21:34

off, which is super fair, like,

21:36

that does for sure. like we

21:38

had we every single from ever

21:40

worked at keg in the conference

21:42

room multiple kegs rotating tap we'd

21:44

get an email every Monday this week

21:47

it's space stuff only imagine these are

21:49

the notes oh yeah but also I

21:51

mean alcoholism like you know like you

21:53

know I remember like you know I

21:55

remember the first day of our law

21:58

school orientation they you know Nice

22:00

on Metro's Nadia Island podcast. I almost

22:03

fainted when the four new bombshells arrived.

22:05

Four free Samsung Galaxy A16 5G phones

22:07

in Metro. No way! And finding out

22:10

the fourth line is free? Thanks got

22:12

heated. That's wild. Join Metro and get

22:14

four free Samsung 5G phones. Only at

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Metro. Plus tax. Bring four numbers and

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an ID and sign up for any

22:21

Metro Flex Plan. Not available currently at

22:24

T-Mobile or on Metro in the past

22:26

180 days. We're like yay, congrats everyone,

22:28

you've made it, right? They're like, yeah, no, look how smart

22:30

all of you are. We're so up here. Here's a big

22:32

slideshow, like you guys literally are the shit. You're like the

22:34

top whatever percent of the world, you're better than everyone. Next

22:37

slide, you know what, you're also number one at? Alcoholism, divorce,

22:39

drug addiction, abuse, anxiety, dada-da-da-da-da, just listing, listing all the things

22:41

that happened to happen to lawyers, like, all the things that

22:43

happened to lawyers, because it's that happened to lawyers, because it's,

22:45

because it's, because it's a super hard, because it's a, because

22:48

it's a, because it's a, like, a, like, like, like, like,

22:50

like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like,

22:52

like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like

22:54

Oh well, I was like, oh perfect, that'll fix that. Sandwich

22:56

it. Yeah, that'll do it. But yeah, no, um,

22:58

one of the, so basically we have happy

23:01

hours like three times a week. I'm like,

23:03

I'm like, I can't fucking do this shit.

23:05

I can't, I have never, I faked more

23:07

shots at legal events, lawyer events than I

23:10

did in college. And that's a fact, I'm

23:12

throwing shit into planners, with like, like, old

23:14

white men who were like, like, like, like,

23:16

like, like, like, fundraiser softball thing

23:18

on a Sunday broke his entire leg.

23:21

When I tell you, broke his fucking femur.

23:23

You know how hard it is to

23:25

break your femur? Yeah, that's the biggest

23:27

phone in your heart. Yeah, really fucking

23:29

hard. Unless you're with me. Yeah, I

23:31

got a bigger phone. Yep. Really fucking

23:33

hard. So that's why you're a lawyer

23:35

and I do that fast. And you

23:37

do this and it works out fucking

23:39

perfect. There you go. If I need

23:41

someone curb stomped, I'm bringing my shoe

23:43

in your leg. That's a lot of

23:46

time. Listen. We'll get the job done.

23:48

That's crazy. A broken leg. Yeah, broken

23:50

leg. Yeah, broken leg. And he was

23:52

a softball game and he lost, which

23:54

I'm like, you know what I mean.

23:56

If you're gonna go down swing. Zero's

23:58

across the board. Zero. really listen for

24:01

enough to give him. And he knows

24:03

this. Yeah, there's like, yeah, I've I've

24:05

torn my ACL, MCL, and my PCL,

24:07

and my meniscus, I tore all of

24:09

them in half when I was in high

24:12

school because I was in athlete in high

24:14

school. And then I... Unlike many of

24:16

the men in your comments. Right, exactly.

24:18

Yeah, so I tore everything and then

24:20

I had to get surgery for it

24:23

and now I have a scar on

24:25

my knee or a few, but the one I

24:27

do have a the texture of a penis.

24:29

Again, generation will crush it. Right.

24:31

I'm telling you, the more listen,

24:33

listen, the Mormons moved on a

24:35

native land and were like a

24:37

penis shaped scar. Someone in your

24:39

fucking family. Yeah, yeah, have fun

24:41

with that. Have fun with that,

24:44

bitch. So how does your man

24:46

feel about your presence on Tiktak?

24:48

I get that question all the time. I

24:50

know, right? Big crazy. That man, and

24:52

that's a thing too is I'm like,

24:54

y'all. are over here, I'm like,

24:56

I don't even remember that shit,

24:58

and he's over here, from men

25:00

all the time, right, who would

25:03

do anything to suck my toe,

25:05

are still in the same vein,

25:07

being like, well, how could a

25:09

man ever be okay? With like,

25:11

your president elected, I'm like, no,

25:13

there are men out there who

25:15

are stable and normal, and who

25:17

are my biggest fucking fan, and

25:19

that's saying a lot, because one

25:21

of my fans are fucking insane,

25:23

right? He's setting people links. He's so

25:26

yeah, he couldn't be more jazzed about

25:28

the I saw your video about the

25:30

what was it? He made me a

25:32

connections thing. Yeah, yeah, and everyone so

25:35

sweet. He has to go into a

25:37

like a skip SCIF like you know

25:39

like a high security like basically like

25:41

a black box. You can't even bring

25:44

airpods into those like it's very

25:46

tight. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you can't have

25:48

your phone in there anything and

25:50

so you can't text me during the

25:52

day at work. Everyone immediately was like, so you're

25:55

dating a cop? I'm like, have you met

25:57

me? I'm like, in what fucking universe, I'm

25:59

like a cop, baby. No, like absolutely not. I'm

26:01

not smart enough to do that. Also, also,

26:03

also, also, the idea that the idea that

26:05

a cop wouldn't be allowed to be on

26:07

the phone, baby. What if they couldn't be

26:09

on their phone who's gonna be texting nurses

26:11

and playing fucking playing fucking wordle or whatever

26:13

the fuck all day like no those men

26:15

are on their fucking phone grabbing their best

26:17

not doing anything yeah pulling up to a

26:20

yeah taking four hours to pull up to

26:22

a burglary to say I'll just all you

26:24

like fucking be serious he's not a fucking

26:26

cop's aren't smart enough to make those no

26:28

no no no come on now come on

26:30

now we're fucking lax yeah they're too busy

26:32

getting all season all season all season high

26:34

school no The reason why I ask

26:36

too is because that's such a thoughtful,

26:39

sweet thing. And like any time women

26:41

like us talk about... having male

26:43

partners who do thoughtful things. It's

26:46

always like a game of

26:48

assumptions after that. It's like,

26:50

well, it's probably because, well,

26:52

it's probably just to like

26:54

undermine it because it makes them

26:56

feel some type of way. So

26:58

I was curious, I figured you

27:00

get shit like that too. Oh,

27:02

yeah, that's why I never, I

27:04

mean, that's the first time that

27:06

I'd ever even commentate about your

27:09

relationships, you know, for the last

27:11

like five years, whatever. who I could

27:13

and I know every day they

27:15

wake up in a cold fucking

27:17

sweat thinking this is the day.

27:19

She's gonna drop apart. 50-part series

27:21

on some shit. Right. I've dated

27:23

like a semi-famous, currently unemployed, because

27:25

we love that, actor, who was

27:27

not talented at all, but God,

27:30

he was rich. Listen, I was

27:32

victim. Not one wicked talent, but

27:34

man did he have money. Man

27:36

was his dad with. Yeah, man

27:38

did his dad die. You really

27:40

nailed that one, man. You hit

27:42

that shit. So hard. Nice work. And

27:44

he, yeah, and I did crazy shit

27:46

to me, whatever. I you go through

27:49

my ticket right that time never would

27:51

have known and I want to keep

27:53

I like to keep it that way

27:55

because of people again they are get

27:57

so loud about everything about but it is

27:59

nice when you share little things like that.

28:01

Like, oh no, they just unconditionally are

28:03

obsessed with me or you, right? No,

28:06

they just know how to do this.

28:08

And no, they're not trying to get

28:10

anything out of me. They simply want

28:12

me to be happy. Imagine that. Imagine

28:14

that. Imagine that works. Yeah. Crazy how

28:16

that works. Crazy how that works. Especially

28:18

because you don't, your content isn't centered

28:21

on relationships or even really your personal life

28:23

at all. So like, like, I feel like

28:25

that's another thing when they're like what. Because

28:27

I love when they, in the beginning, I

28:29

would love when they would write things like,

28:31

oh well that's right, you're a single.

28:33

Because then I'm like, I'm gonna clock 5

28:36

million views off this, thank you team. Thank

28:38

you so. That's a thing too is what

28:40

pisses me off is the fact that my

28:42

block list looks like the January 6th attendance

28:45

sheet. Yeah, because after a while, right? They

28:47

stopped coming in. Like I don't get hate comments

28:49

really anymore and I miss them. I miss them

28:51

a lot because I'm like man, come back. I

28:53

want you on to pull up because it was

28:55

kind of fun. We made such a great team.

28:57

Right. I never, yeah. I'm like, we made such

28:59

a great team. And I also, I tell people

29:02

to the same, I'm like, I tell people to

29:04

the same, I'm like, to the same, I'm like,

29:06

I'm like, I'm a lawyer, I've, I've, I've, I've,

29:08

I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've,

29:10

I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've,

29:12

I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've,

29:14

I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I to open up

29:17

a comment and go, you know what,

29:19

they got me guys. They got me,

29:21

girl. Yeah, I've only said the one

29:23

that I've gotten, and it was a

29:26

random Barb stand account on Twitter, so

29:28

I know it wasn't a straight man.

29:30

I'll tell you that right, fucking now,

29:32

I know that for a fact, that

29:35

it wasn't a straight man, but, no.

29:37

Yeah. If you ever get roasted, you'd

29:39

be like, only straight men are allowed

29:41

to roast me, and it won. Even

29:44

that when I told that story I told

29:46

that story on interviews and stuff and like

29:48

those clips have gone viral on tic-tac

29:50

So now when some new dude finds me

29:52

and he they start referencing the insult

29:54

I told everyone about I'm like you're

29:56

taking shit from me too and and

29:58

also taking shit from probably a gay person,

30:00

like sample. I said, you just can't do

30:02

anything without me. You even just can't do

30:04

anything. You can't even think of, I'm not

30:06

even kidding. Two days ago, I got tagged

30:08

in a, like an edit of me

30:11

with Kayla Herron on my show. The first

30:13

time he was on my show. And it

30:15

was like an edit of us being funny,

30:17

but I was telling him about being

30:19

called the pot of greed thing. And then they

30:21

were just like photoshopping it over my face

30:23

whenever I said pot of greed. Oh

30:25

my God, the comments acting like that was

30:27

the funniest thing they've ever seen in their lives.

30:29

I'm like, you, and there, it's always crazy how

30:31

it's such an echo chamber because most of those

30:33

people who think that shit is funny after it's

30:35

like, no, I was making fun of my, you

30:38

didn't clock out. Yeah, yeah, you're not in on the joke with

30:40

me. And the person who told the joke is

30:42

probably like, give me a, give me a cut

30:44

of that revenue, the fuck? Like are you joking?

30:46

For real. But it's like, they're all, all of

30:48

you are samples. Like all of you are just copies

30:50

of one another screaming at one another. And

30:52

I've heard, and also like in the comment

30:54

section, not a single drag that's funny after

30:56

that, on top of that. It was, it's

30:58

just, nope, the one drag that you stole

31:01

from me that I told you about. None

31:03

of you can come up with anything better.

31:05

Yeah, I just circled jerking in here. Yeah,

31:07

I just circled jerking in here and I'm

31:09

like, I've heard literally better roast from a

31:11

12 year old girl in fourth grade, like

31:13

running a fucking clay volcano project. know what

31:15

I mean? Like they could probably drag me

31:17

harder. Yeah, young women are mean as fuck,

31:19

dude. Like it's, it's also too like, I've been

31:21

dragged worse by my friends. Like people who love

31:24

me. Yes. People who actually love me have been

31:26

meter to me than that. Yeah. Which is crazy.

31:28

My husband Ethan, I said something rude, I think.

31:30

Like to him, we were out or something and

31:32

he looked at me, looked down

31:34

slowly and said, bold thing to

31:36

say in an open -toe shoe. You're

31:39

like, oh! oh, fuck. Okay, well

31:41

of all, fuck you. Okay, fuck. I'm like

31:43

the sharpie on my big toe. Like that I'm

31:45

trying to fill in right because I didn't

31:47

get a pedicure. That wasn't enough for you. He's

31:49

like, mm. He's like, yeah, I can tell.

31:51

Yeah. You know what's funny is I'm branching into

31:53

acting and stuff now. And

31:55

I was talking to my hair

31:58

and makeup artist who's also my

32:00

cut. and Adam and I was like,

32:02

it was. We were glamming and I

32:04

was telling him about something I

32:06

was working on and I was

32:08

like, you know what I was

32:10

thinking of though? I was like,

32:12

what if I have to do

32:14

like kissing scenes? Something about that

32:16

is giving me hives. I don't

32:19

know what it is, but like

32:21

acting and pretending to be in

32:23

love with someone. I'll do it

32:25

for like, I'll do it for love

32:27

with someone. I'll do it for money

32:29

too, but like I'll do it for

32:31

money. I'll do. to do like I'm

32:33

having this irrelevant conversation that has not

32:35

it's not based in reality at all

32:37

it's truly an irrelevant fear and then

32:39

he interrupted me after I was rambling

32:42

for like 20 minutes and then he

32:44

goes okay first of all it's like

32:46

4 a.m so calm down and second

32:48

of all you're not getting any roles

32:50

right now so I don't know what

32:52

you're worried and I said oh right

32:54

right right right right right okay I'll

32:56

shut the fuck that's a valid and

32:58

he loves me That's my friend. That's

33:00

my brother. Yeah, I'm honestly I'm praying

33:02

for you in the event that happens

33:04

that it's a role where you can

33:06

kiss a girl like I happen to

33:08

you would that be right? That's what

33:10

I was like or make me a

33:12

villain or make me a villain. Make

33:14

me a villain. Make me a villain.

33:16

Make me a villain. Yeah, make me

33:18

make me a villain. Like an evil

33:21

like that you end up loving

33:23

eventually. Exactly. I think that's in

33:25

the stars from yes. What about

33:28

what's in the stars for you?

33:30

Oh, you're coming out with a

33:32

book. Yes, I'm coming out with

33:35

a book. Can you please tell

33:37

us about it? Yeah, it's going

33:39

to be called The Book They

33:41

Throw Out You, which is essentially

33:44

me, a sarcastic lawyer's guide to

33:46

the unholy chaos of the legal

33:48

field, which is basically a sarcastic

33:51

lawyer's guide to the unholy

33:53

chaos of the unholy chaos

33:55

of just. teaching you just

33:57

the baseline of what I

33:59

think. every K through 12 kids should

34:01

know about their Miranda rights and interacting with

34:03

police and all of that. And also just

34:06

the craziness that is the legal field and

34:08

the funny stories that, exactly what I tell

34:10

on my podcast or on my Tiktok and

34:12

crazy cases, but it's kind of all lumped

34:15

together in sections that make sense, you know,

34:17

like the same as Chicken Soup or the

34:19

so all how it's like, there's a section

34:21

on death and it's like, all these great

34:24

inspirational stories. It's the same thing that there's,

34:26

there's a section on death, except it, except

34:28

it's a section on death, except it, except

34:30

it. tractor run over him and then he

34:32

wrote in blood his will on the side

34:35

that said all to my wife love Cecil

34:37

if he wanted to he would and how

34:39

that was a valid will they like ripped

34:41

the fender off and like went and put

34:44

it into court and they were like yeah

34:46

valid will another like some some some anecdotes

34:48

about being a woman in the in this

34:50

field and how it is navigating that and

34:53

the types of harassment yeah that I that

34:55

we've had to deal with but yeah so

34:57

overall it's funny it's Yeah, they love that

34:59

series from you too. I know, they love

35:01

that one. And it's probably like what you

35:04

were saying earlier, which is it's shocking to

35:06

hear. how people really are. Like it's

35:08

almost people's Ross versions of themselves

35:10

in the courtroom. And people think,

35:12

I mean I understand why because

35:14

I didn't really know any of

35:16

this either before I got into

35:18

the field but I'm like no

35:20

like regular people are in the

35:22

law more than like those stuck

35:24

up lawyers who do you think

35:27

is following all these lawsuits who

35:29

do you think is you know

35:31

being accused of these crimes whatever

35:33

like of course people are going

35:35

to say like a crazy case

35:37

that you've experienced or been on.

35:39

I'm like, I mean, do you

35:41

have four hours? Like every day

35:43

I encounter someone. I mean, there

35:46

was a case where a woman, a girl,

35:48

I mean, she was in her 20s, but

35:50

she, God, I loke, kind of loved

35:52

her. She grave robbed her own mother

35:55

to prove a point. Nice. Love that.

35:57

I can respect in certain ways,

35:59

right? I was at the point where

36:01

I was like, she said this vengeance goes

36:03

past it. Exactly. She was like, no, the

36:05

ring that I was supposed to get in

36:07

the will is the one that looked like

36:09

moms and moms was buried with hers and

36:12

we never got a photo of it and

36:14

no one fucking believing everyone's gas sliding me

36:16

about what this fucking ring looks like. So

36:18

when she pulled up with it in court, we

36:20

were like, where would you get that? She was

36:22

like, I just got it. Right. What do

36:24

you want? And then we found

36:26

out. You know, yeah, no, she

36:29

she grave robbed the fuck out

36:31

of her mom, which you know

36:33

what? If her mom raised her to

36:35

be petty, I would, if I

36:37

thought we're me, if I was the

36:39

mom, I'd be like, you know

36:41

what? Yeah, you did. You, you, you

36:44

weren't out of that fucking thing.

36:46

You know what? You know what? You,

36:48

you, you, you, you weren't out.

36:50

How was. Yeah. How was.

36:52

Interesting, it was very different and

36:54

then it was tedious most times. Yeah,

36:56

it's just a lot of back and

36:58

forth. Yeah, and yeah, I mean, it's

37:01

good. It's a lot of, a lot

37:03

of research, because a lot of things,

37:05

I mean, listen, I don't talk about

37:07

things, I kind of as a rule. that

37:09

I don't really think I created in my

37:11

head to stand on some moral high ground

37:13

because maybe I'll go low, right? I'll go

37:16

lower than you, that's for sure. But as

37:18

a lawyer, just like ingrained and taught, like

37:20

yeah, you don't make an argument, you can't

37:23

back up with something. You don't state a

37:25

conclusion, you don't state an opinion unless you

37:27

have something to back it up or else

37:29

you don't have an opinion at all. And

37:32

so. You know, when I talk about something

37:34

online, I know what I'm talking, I know

37:36

what I'm talking about. Yeah, yeah. And in

37:38

the book, I, you know, I

37:41

have the same, hold myself

37:43

to the same principle. And

37:45

so when I'm talking about

37:48

going really in depth into

37:50

all of these cases, I want

37:52

to be in depth into all

37:55

these cases, I want to be

37:57

right. You said I'll let you

37:59

know when I got. on the other side.

38:01

I'll let you know. I'll let

38:03

you know. Yeah. And when I

38:06

start aging, one day like milk,

38:08

and right now not so much,

38:10

but look at the color of

38:13

my skin. One day, it's like

38:15

one day, it's gonna hit, all

38:17

go south. What about your podcast?

38:20

I know it's in the same

38:22

vein, but the book very much.

38:24

is if you like my podcast, you'll

38:27

love the book, where each episode

38:29

I talk about a case or

38:31

a legal concept or a situation

38:33

that I think deserves people's attention

38:35

because it's just fucking crazy or

38:37

hilarious or whatever. And I listened

38:39

to True Crime podcasts before. It's

38:41

like I've heard about Jeffrey Dahmer

38:44

a hundred times. I've heard about

38:46

the same cases a hundred times

38:48

and yeah, they're super interesting. But

38:50

like the murder cases are the

38:52

most interesting in the law. family

38:54

law lawyer in Australia for Don

38:56

love her I'm obsessed with her she

38:58

doesn't know who I am I just she's

39:00

just my new thing me with Kay love

39:02

her love her love her love her but

39:05

she she does family law so she tells

39:07

cases sometimes they are nuts they're and

39:09

their laws different obviously but

39:11

like They're crazy. Crazy because the two

39:13

most dangerous areas of law are property

39:15

law and family law. Like family lawyers

39:18

get jumped, they get like attempted murder,

39:20

like tried to kill and also the

39:22

things that go on in them are

39:24

crazy. Like you find out like. You find out

39:26

that like a husband and wife are related

39:28

yeah during a paternity test like when shit

39:30

like that starts happening It's crazy then people

39:33

start like a real skeleton. Yeah, it's really

39:35

like you think you have skeletons in your

39:37

closet right? Somebody I wish it were that

39:39

simple. Like oh my god Family lawyer clients

39:41

are like oh you killed who thank God.

39:43

Is it just that? Oh my god God

39:45

bless you. You know what I mean? Thank

39:48

God you're not inbred for the last three

39:50

generations. And now we've got to figure out

39:52

the custody of your cat at your husband

39:54

fucked the last week and swear to God

39:56

crazy shit. It's always the, not always, but

39:58

usually the men. Yeah. the men who are

40:00

doing the crazy shit, usually the men who are

40:03

the deadbeat fault, you know, I made a

40:05

joke during my podcast because I don't always

40:07

pick out like family law cases, sometimes

40:09

their cases of just, you know, witness

40:11

protection cases, just like crazy shit that

40:13

happens. And through the telling of

40:15

the story, it's like, I just

40:18

joke, I'm like, at this point,

40:20

this is the deadbeat dad chronicles

40:22

because every fucking man involved in

40:24

these cases was a deadbeat dad.

40:27

Like, you know, instead of just

40:29

divorcing their wife or breaking up

40:31

with their girlfriend or getting a

40:33

job. Because that would be too

40:35

easy. Right. They like fake their

40:38

own death and like go into

40:40

witness protection or like,

40:42

perfect. Yeah, 100% they assassinate their

40:45

political opponent in Tennessee because, you

40:47

know, their wife was on to

40:49

them and knew about their girlfriend.

40:51

No, like the craziest, yeah, the

40:53

craziest things. I'm curious, do you

40:55

ever watch lawyer shows or movies

40:58

and you're like, oh yeah, that's

41:00

crazy. Yeah, all of it. How

41:02

similar is it to suits? Not

41:04

even a little, but like that's,

41:06

I watch it for Megan Markle

41:09

bitch, like, have you seen her?

41:11

It's entertaining. YouTube series where

41:13

they would have like an

41:15

expert watch movies or TV shows

41:17

of people acting in their profession.

41:19

I loved watching them. Love. There

41:21

was like a chef, I watched

41:23

like a Navy SEAL, I watched

41:25

like a Navy SEAL, I watched

41:28

like a really famous like a

41:30

really famous like military doctor surgeon

41:32

like something like that and he

41:34

was watching military like movies or

41:36

shows where they were trick doing

41:38

you know on scene surgeries? watch

41:40

Law and Order SVU and you're

41:42

like, okay. Yeah, I mean the

41:44

Copaganda, love that, but like I love

41:46

that, like I love that show, I grew up

41:48

loving that show and you rewatch it and you

41:50

go, okay, maybe Stavler shouldn't have been throwing people

41:52

through glass walls. Yeah, him beating the shit out

41:55

of people, but then you think, but now what

41:57

the information you have now? You're right. Maybe he

41:59

was the most. Right, I mean. times

42:01

listen like he was doing like what

42:03

do they call it method acting right

42:05

honestly but then also it's like I'm

42:07

like yeah long rescue copagenda for you

42:10

know like the NYPD like the cops

42:12

that you are talking to do you

42:14

never talk to cops don't talk to

42:16

cops yeah they're not going to be

42:19

Benson they're not going to care they're

42:21

not going to give a fuck no

42:23

but one thing that I don't think

42:25

anyone really took from it is in

42:27

during the first suspect or some

42:30

shit right and always knew it

42:32

wasn't them because it was just

42:34

too easy. Yeah. And they'd be

42:36

questioning them whatever and they'd lawyer up

42:38

and they'd be like, ah, damn it. Well.

42:40

Can't get them now. I'm like, how

42:42

did you not connect that that means

42:45

lawyer the fuck up? Well, they must

42:47

be guilty. No, babes. Were they ever

42:49

in jail by the end of it?

42:51

Were they ever in prison? No, it

42:54

was the bitches who were John and

42:56

off. You're getting pissed off. Literally, I'm

42:58

like, for some, coming from a bitch

43:00

with a big mouth, shut the fuck

43:03

up. Like, coming, you, you're getting pissed

43:05

off. Literally, like, like, like, like, like,

43:07

like, like, like, like, like, like, like,

43:09

like, Because they think it's not relevant. I

43:11

mean, I've had people be like, like, you

43:14

know, they like fail like a drug screening

43:16

or something, like for probation and

43:18

they're like, yeah, you didn't pass, like

43:20

you're a drunk test. It was an

43:22

edible, said it couldn't smoke. Okay, it's

43:24

the same. Right, you still have marijuana

43:26

in your system. Well, okay. So now

43:28

it's on the record that you'd fucking

43:31

took an edible. Voluntarily. Yeah, don't tell

43:33

someone, don't tell me. Well, no, if

43:35

you kill someone, tell me and no

43:38

one else. So like, tell me and

43:40

no one else. You're telling everyone, but

43:42

me. That's the thing. And you know,

43:45

it's actually interesting that people don't, I

43:47

guess people don't realize with evidence rules,

43:49

the way they work, is if a

43:52

client, because obviously a trained client privilege,

43:54

confidentiality, we are bound, bound by, you

43:56

know, just shutting our fucking mouths,

43:58

not being to tell anyone, privilege

44:00

and like the therapist privilege or a

44:03

doctor patient because there's certain mandatory disclosures

44:05

reporting mandatory reporting laws yeah we

44:07

don't have that we are we're mandatory

44:09

not reporting yeah you don't fucking

44:11

say shit and so the way the

44:14

evidence rules work out for when

44:16

you have to tell and when you

44:18

don't yeah thing if a client

44:20

drove me out said hey like let's

44:22

take a drive drove me out to

44:24

some random location showed me a body

44:27

in the ground and we're like, look,

44:29

it's the missing, the missing

44:31

guy on television. I killed him.

44:33

If I don't touch it, if they

44:35

don't give it to me, like I

44:37

don't handle it, I am bound to

44:40

not say a word. That's crazy.

44:42

Not even like call a tip

44:44

anything. Like I can't say anything.

44:46

And I've always thought about, that's

44:48

always like the most extreme situation.

44:50

That's why people are like, oh

44:52

lawyers are going to hell. And

44:54

I'm like, no, yeah, probably. But you

44:56

know, I mean, we're trying to keep

44:58

some people out of prison before then,

45:00

but it's, you know, it's, you know,

45:02

I mean, we're trying to keep some

45:04

people out of prison before then, but

45:06

you know, it's, it's, you know, we're

45:08

trying to keep some people, how I

45:10

would react. Like if a client was like, let's

45:13

get a coffee, and I was like, oh my

45:15

god, sure. And I just have my fucking goochie

45:17

bag, like, with my, so little heel in front

45:19

of an open pit of someone. And I'm just

45:21

like, I'm trying to play it cool, right? Because

45:24

I don't want to be a statistic. Like. No,

45:26

yeah, for sure. 100% maybe some for reason, the

45:28

bag. Like, what would you, like, how would I,

45:30

like, I don't know how it would act. Thank

45:32

you, Queen. Thank you for sharing it with me.

45:35

I'm holding space for this. Yes, I'm holding space

45:37

for this. I'm holding space for this. I'm holding

45:39

space for this. I'm holding space for this. I'm

45:41

holding space for this. I'm holding space for this,

45:43

don't worry. Yeah, don't holding space for this, don't,

45:45

don't, don't worry, don't, don't worry, don't, don't, like,

45:47

like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like,

45:49

like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like,

45:51

like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like,

45:54

like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like,

45:56

like, like, like, like, like, people

45:58

other than do not talk

46:00

to cops. And that people are like, well, what

46:02

if they put you on? You know what I

46:04

mean when I say don't talk to cops. I

46:06

mean that if a cop shows up to your

46:08

house and knocks on your door, you do not

46:10

consent to a search. You do not let them

46:13

in. You do not answer questions. Yeah. It's, say,

46:15

you have to firmly say you're invoking a graduate

46:17

or remain silent, you have to affirmatively say I

46:19

want a lawyer. And after that, then they can't

46:21

talk to you. And if they talk to you,

46:23

then a lawyer later can get it thrown out.

46:25

Another thing is, don't go into business with your

46:27

family. And sometimes, you know what I mean? Like,

46:29

I'm seeing your mom and sister in the

46:31

back of the room like that, you know,

46:33

sometimes it works out, it's totally fine. If you

46:35

get into business with people, like people show

46:38

their faces and it's not that everyone's an

46:40

asshole, I know they're probably your best best

46:42

best friend. If they are your best best

46:44

friend, like don't. Maybe don't like... Start a

46:46

cryptocurrency like together, you know, maybe like do

46:48

with someone who you're not Oh, yeah, it's

46:51

like shit. Nobody nobody really thinks about it.

46:53

Don't do it. Do not do it. And

46:55

it's like the best case scenarios. It works

46:57

out the worst case scenario is worse like

46:59

so much worth. It's always ever imagined No

47:01

matter what the upside is. Yes, like the

47:04

amount of families that have been torn apart.

47:06

I mean if anyone like Google I did

47:08

an episode on the U Hall family dynasty

47:10

The U-Haul business is so wrought with

47:12

tea and bullshit and murder because

47:14

of just money. Like they, you

47:16

know, I mean, the people wanting

47:18

more than money. Unpressed any power,

47:20

yeah. So don't go on to

47:23

visit your family. And I mean,

47:25

first shut your mouth, second, don't

47:27

visit your family. Third, get a

47:29

pre-nup. And the get a pre-nup.

47:31

If you're a broke, if you're a

47:33

broke man on the internet, talking about

47:35

gold diggers, we're not talking, we're not

47:37

talking about you, baby. Not talking about

47:40

you. You don't need that. You still

47:42

get a tax return, you don't need

47:44

that. Exactly. That's tea. Like, do you

47:46

offer legal advice a lot to people in

47:48

your life, your personal? I mean, I think

47:50

I'm not allowed to. Right. But

47:52

yeah, because unless you have

47:54

an interning client-client-client relationship, which

47:57

can be created off of

47:59

literally anything. like a drunk girl

48:01

to bar being like, should I do

48:03

this? And I'd be like, totally go

48:05

for it. She could see me later

48:08

from malpractice. So like, that's why. You

48:10

gotta be real careful. But yes,

48:12

of course, I am, I mean,

48:14

fuck my phone ringing all the

48:16

time, like, from some random distant

48:18

cousin. I'm like, hello, they're like,

48:20

hey, so like theoretically, like,

48:23

if you ran through a car

48:25

wash naked because of circumstances. and

48:27

kicked off someone's side mirror. Would

48:29

that be one charger too? And I'm

48:31

like, can you back up? Is this like personally,

48:34

right? Like where are you? Like

48:36

where are you? Like where are you?

48:38

Are you calling from a county jail?

48:40

No, okay, perfect. Like that kind of

48:43

shit where I'm like, let me look

48:45

something up really quick and get back

48:47

to you. Like, really, that, like, that

48:50

person, not every practice area is in

48:52

my head immediately. I'm like, well, fuck,

48:54

where are you, Michigan? Let me look

48:56

it up really quick, like nudity. And

48:59

I'm like, on the same Google, they

49:01

are. I'm like, yeah, you look fine.

49:03

Yeah, it looks good to me.

49:06

Yeah, you'll get off. We'll

49:08

someone well, but. Have you

49:10

been disillusioned by anything in law?

49:12

Like, how you were saying like,

49:14

like, for example, misogyny I think

49:16

they're just assuming women will want

49:18

them but most of that is that men don't

49:21

typically fight for kids the way that women do

49:23

so have you seen anything where you're kind of

49:25

like yeah that's like a It seems to be

49:27

every single time. Absolutely. We saw

49:29

women in self-defense, women in stand-your-ground

49:32

laws, or black people of color,

49:34

on stand-your-ground laws. Stand-your-ground laws, the

49:36

whole idea of, like, don't tread

49:38

on me, you know, where we

49:41

can guard our castle and protect

49:43

our castle, and that's why, you

49:45

know, second amendment right to their

49:47

arms. You know. people who are white and

49:49

men who shoot an intruder and kill them

49:52

and then you know are never charged because

49:54

it was you know it's the it's called

49:56

like the castle doctor and you can protect

49:58

your castle you know you can stand-your-ground laws,

50:00

you know, shooting just unarmed kids in

50:02

the street because they had a hoodie

50:05

on well stand-your-ground. You know, we have

50:07

stand-your-ground, they were threatened, you know, X,

50:09

Y, Z. But then when women do it

50:12

because they're literally being attacked in

50:14

the street or otherwise in their

50:16

homes, so best they balance victims

50:18

especially trying to protect their children

50:20

or protect themselves. it's they're always charged

50:22

and that's not I mean statistically yes it's

50:24

not literally a hundred percent of the time

50:26

they're always charged but just from what you

50:29

see and what you study and what you

50:31

learn is there are patterns oh it's tanger

50:33

ground for white men yeah who there's an

50:35

asterisk next to that like the moment that

50:38

you know people black people specifically people of

50:40

color as well the moment it's a black

50:42

man with a gun oh no we don't

50:44

want we don't want we don't want people

50:47

of color to have guns oh no that's

50:49

just we just we didn't mean everyone can

50:51

have second amendment rights well actually that's

50:53

dangerous yeah no oh now now well

50:55

that's threatening yeah well and also it's like

50:58

you know when someone's pulled over by a cop and

51:00

then you know a cop like you know, shoots them 18

51:02

times because, you know, their skin was a little bit

51:04

darker and everyone, and there's always people go, well, we

51:06

don't know the full story. Well, they were reaching in

51:08

their back seat. What if there were a gun, there

51:11

was a gun back there. Maybe they're in Alabama. There's

51:13

a gun in every back seat in fucking Alabama. Like,

51:15

they were reaching back for their license or their gum

51:17

or whatever. I'm like, but the moment it's a white

51:20

person. Everything's fine. Everything's cool.

51:22

Everything's show. I don't care if

51:24

you're reaching in your back seat.

51:26

Right, right. You don't care. Well,

51:28

he was getting his license. Like,

51:30

oh, it's not a big deal.

51:32

And you know, oh, he was he

51:34

was a had a license. You know,

51:37

an open carry license. It's fine. I'm

51:39

like, but that person had one too.

51:41

The black guy had one too. The

51:43

black girl had one too. Yeah. Because

51:45

you know domestic violence victims especially in

51:48

this country women who are stocked women

51:50

who are threatened And there are a

51:52

lot of people online even influencers and

51:54

creators who've experienced that Yeah, yeah, they

51:57

basically are like well unless they literally

51:59

kill you we can't really do anything. Oh

52:01

yeah, I've been told that. Yeah, yeah, I've

52:03

had issues with men who have stalked me

52:05

and my family for years, and then it's

52:07

always like, well, unless they act on it,

52:09

I can't do anything. Right, and then they

52:11

act on it, and then they go, well,

52:14

it's not that bad. Yeah, but well, they

52:16

didn't, well, you ran fast enough

52:18

so they didn't catch you. Oh, yeah.

52:20

And that works by design, because

52:22

there's a way, like everyone who says,

52:25

well, what can you do, free

52:27

country, we can't just, you know, basically

52:29

prevent people from moving certain places

52:31

or talking or saying certain things online

52:33

or to someone, just the first

52:35

amendment, just because one person feels threatened,

52:37

and I'm like, well, no, that's

52:39

not what's happening. They really, because the

52:41

law is very archaic when

52:43

it comes to doing what

52:45

it can to protect our most

52:48

vulnerable in society, and our

52:50

most vulnerable are, honestly, the people

52:52

who aren't as protected by

52:54

the law, which includes the LGBTQ

52:56

plus community, trans community, women,

52:58

women of color, children too, the

53:00

amount of times that laws just

53:02

completely leave massive holes open for

53:04

kids to be abused by the system

53:06

or to be left out or

53:08

to be just subject to the worst

53:10

things, both in juvenile detention centers

53:13

and out. Even in more, even more

53:15

vulnerable. Yeah, exactly, and it's because,

53:17

I mean, I'm like, look at who

53:19

set the system up. Look at

53:21

the, who's been in power in the

53:23

legal field for the last 100

53:25

million years. White men, white men, white

53:27

men, and even though right now,

53:29

today, there are more women in this

53:31

field than there are men, all of

53:33

the people who are in power are

53:35

the white men. It doesn't matter, I

53:37

mean, I'm like, yeah, being a woman,

53:39

I see women everywhere, but we're all

53:41

subject to the same misogyny because the

53:43

people who are determining our pay tax,

53:45

who make decisions, yeah, we're the ones

53:47

having to convince those fucking assholes of

53:49

the personhood and the existence of

53:52

people who don't look like them. And

53:54

that's difficult sometimes. That's when you're fighting

53:56

prejudice. It's fighting ghosts, really. Literally. Yeah,

53:58

you're like, I wanna change. the system but

54:00

I need to get inside of it and

54:03

how can I get in when

54:05

it's impenetrable. Exactly. You know what

54:07

it kind of equates you sometimes

54:09

when it comes to you? Because we're

54:11

like in the legal field it's like

54:13

politicians. Lawyers die in that chair bitch.

54:15

They do not retire. They do not

54:17

quit. I would for a man who

54:19

was 90 years old practicing in court.

54:22

We do not take licenses away. We

54:24

let you pull up like you pass

54:26

the bar. like during prohibition like that

54:28

shit's fucking wild if father time is

54:30

assigned to me hey I'm oh yeah

54:32

no you're I'll defend myself in court

54:34

he might keel over any second no

54:36

100% he's gonna be like oh she's

54:39

free they freed her shit he's like

54:41

why might not be alive by the

54:43

end of this trial no exactly I

54:45

said you're not exactly and they smell

54:47

exactly like you think and so when

54:49

you know like a lot of times

54:51

right you're some of them honestly some

54:54

of them are great like I've met a

54:56

lot of men who are in this

54:58

field who are the white male old

55:00

demographic who are honestly not like necessarily

55:02

the good ones because all of them

55:04

should be the good ones but they

55:06

have absolutely been pivotal and like making

55:08

sure there's a door open yeah but

55:10

you know sometimes they're just so old

55:13

that it's like Honestly like working with

55:15

a make-a-wish kid. Then I mean that

55:17

in the most respectful way of look

55:19

if you're at Disneyland and you see

55:21

a make-a-wish kid and they are a

55:23

terror, right? They are screaming yelling crying

55:25

in line like like Fisting people right

55:27

and you know, I mean punching people

55:29

whatever and you see the big make-a-wish

55:31

crown right on their head you go

55:33

well It's not really my business is

55:35

anything because like they don't have a lot

55:37

of They don't have a lot of time left.

55:39

Yeah, you want them to just enjoy it. You

55:42

just got to let it, you just got to

55:44

let it ride, right? And put your energy somewhere

55:46

more important. Take them out to pasture later. Exactly.

55:48

And all of these, not all of them, but

55:50

some of these men who were like, it's like, you

55:53

know, during the Black Lives Protest, I remember,

55:55

who was otherwise a good lawyer is like

55:57

rambling on and on, right about, you know,

55:59

you know, the whole. thugs terminology

56:01

stuff and I was like I

56:03

just I just sat there listening because I'm

56:05

like he's gonna be dead soon you know

56:07

what I mean like I'm like I don't

56:09

you're so teaching him anything is not helping

56:11

anyone like it's not like he's a jet

56:13

like he's not changing he's gonna go home

56:15

to his dead wife and just an in

56:17

his shitty dog and that's gonna be that

56:19

and eventually one day I'm gonna get the

56:21

call and go finally right like he's done

56:23

it's over yeah you just gotta I'm glad

56:25

your wife's no longer with you yeah father

56:27

time can sometimes be on our side because

56:29

I'm like speed the shit up please sometimes

56:33

people just have to die in order

56:35

for things to change and you know

56:37

what and you know what when it

56:40

when it picks the right person I'm

56:42

a fan you know sometimes I'm like

56:44

well we're all better off right and

56:46

I'm not advocating for murder okay I'm

56:48

record I'm saying the natural passing of

56:50

time circle of life circle of life

56:52

you know Lion King they ate with

56:54

that okay but they were let's try

56:56

to change their minds let's hope that

56:58

they they deteriorate I've actually said that

57:01

I said that on I think on

57:03

rain Wilson's podcast like he said like

57:05

do you think there is hope for

57:07

change or you know what have

57:09

you and I said yeah I do I just don't think

57:11

it's gonna come from people who have made up their

57:13

minds it's not gonna come from them

57:15

like you gotta let them die out

57:17

like you gotta let those bloodlines stop

57:19

bitch I've already prayed to my ancestors

57:21

about it hopefully and baldness hopefully that

57:23

continues to ravage their bloodlines I said

57:26

what I think will help enact change other

57:28

than everyone who's already on the same page is

57:30

getting a bunch of fence sitters like people who

57:32

don't care at all or people who aren't plugged

57:34

in or people who are like I don't know

57:36

which ones which like it sounds like there's bad

57:38

on both sides like people like that are the

57:40

ones that you need you can grab and have join

57:42

you yep everyone else let them die

57:44

off exactly that's the fastest way to

57:46

do it have a chance yeah exactly

57:48

go either way yeah are they have

57:50

enough of an open mind or empathy

57:52

or whatever right exactly to grasp the

57:54

concept I guess he I guess right

57:56

you look at all of these other

57:59

horrible times in history and you have

58:01

to know to a certain extent yeah those

58:03

people had to die off like I'm sorry

58:05

I'm really sorry but they just had to

58:07

right there's no other way for us to

58:10

have fixed that at all like literally you

58:12

can't when someone's 90 yeah and they've spent

58:14

80 of those years hating people very specifically

58:17

owning people very specific what am I gonna

58:19

do in their last two months of their

58:21

life You know what I'm saying? Not waste

58:23

my time talking about them. Like are you

58:26

fucking kidding me? I'm not wasting my time.

58:28

I think the same thing. And I said

58:30

that to... during 2020 and all of that, I was like, it got

58:32

to a point where I was like, I'm not convincing anyone. No. That's not

58:34

my job. No, it's not my job. And on my billable hour, you couldn't

58:36

afford me anyway. You're fucking serious. That's what I'm going to choke, bitch. That's

58:38

what I'm going to tell you to choke, bitch. That's what I'm going to

58:40

tell you to do. Well, you're just intolerant. I'm just going to say I'm

58:43

going to say I'm going to tell you to tell you to tell you

58:45

to tell you to tell you to tell you to tell you to tell

58:47

you to tell you to tell you to tell you to tell you to

58:49

tell you to tell you to tell you to tell you to tell you

58:51

to tell you to. You to tell you to tell you to tell you

58:53

to tell you to tell you to tell you to tell you to tell

58:55

you to tell you to. You to tell you to tell you to tell

58:57

you to tell you to tell you to That's because I hate you. That's

58:59

a strong word. I hope that's clear. Yeah, a strong word's

59:01

why I used that. Yeah, it's absolutely

59:03

why I know. I'm intimidated by you.

59:06

Good. Yeah. Perfect, perfect, great, it's working,

59:08

thank God. Okay, so to wrap us,

59:10

because we've been yapping, girl, period. No,

59:12

don't be sorry, I love it, that's

59:14

the best episodes I have are those.

59:16

I would love to know if you

59:18

have any advice, for anyone marginalized,

59:21

really, who maybe wants to go

59:23

into law and maybe is like

59:25

nervous about encountering invisible barriers, which

59:27

obviously you've spoken to a bunch in

59:30

the field, but I think it's imperative.

59:32

Actually before you answer that question. I

59:34

want to give you your flowers. I

59:36

think you're incredible. And I think people like

59:38

you are very important. Not just

59:40

because obviously you're extremely smart

59:43

and talented and you're fucking funny,

59:45

which I love. Smart and funny go hand in

59:47

hand in my opinion. But also, being a

59:49

woman and being a white woman and advocating

59:51

the way that you do is very important. And I

59:53

want to give you your flowers. I think you're

59:55

amazing. And I think people like you are

59:58

so necessary, not just in the literal world.

1:00:00

because Reb has a literal job, a

1:00:02

real job, unlike mine. Something you can't

1:00:04

relay. Yeah, something you can't relay in

1:00:06

neither can I, because she works a

1:00:08

lot harder than I do. No. You

1:00:10

have your real, like, you're actually making

1:00:12

a difference in the world, and I

1:00:14

think that's so incredibly important and powerful,

1:00:17

and I think you're amazing. Thanks. So want

1:00:19

to say that first. Well, thank you. It

1:00:21

should be the baseline for everyone. Like, it

1:00:23

makes me feel so awkward because I genuinely

1:00:25

believe, I'm like, if

1:00:27

my job as a lawyer, like everyone's job as

1:00:29

a lawyer, is to go to court and

1:00:31

argue for their clients, how is it not part

1:00:33

of our job that we make it a

1:00:35

better profession, that we make it a better field,

1:00:37

that we make it safer for someone else,

1:00:39

that we put our neck out where maybe another

1:00:41

person couldn't, because I'm a white woman, and

1:00:43

I know that the color of my skin is

1:00:45

going to make a difference in whether I

1:00:47

can say something or not, whether I can threaten

1:00:49

my job or not. And so for people

1:00:51

who want to come into this field who

1:00:53

are part of those communities that this

1:00:56

field does not represent absolutely or are

1:00:58

not represented by, only 5 % of

1:01:00

all attorneys in the US are black,

1:01:02

which is crazy because 38 .7 % of

1:01:04

our incarcerated population is black because of

1:01:06

inherent racism, period, and prejudice, period. And

1:01:10

so I always

1:01:12

tell people, I would want

1:01:14

if I were in a situation

1:01:16

and anyone could be of being

1:01:18

on the other side of a courtroom

1:01:20

that's not the good side, right? The

1:01:22

side where you're being accused of something and

1:01:24

in this day and age, police are

1:01:26

legally allowed to lie to you, legally allowed

1:01:28

to do anything but their jobs, you

1:01:30

would be surprised, well, I don't do anything

1:01:32

wrong. There are people who are in

1:01:34

prison right now who did nothing wrong. And

1:01:36

that's how that works. But if I

1:01:39

were ever in that situation or if you

1:01:41

or anyone were ever in that situation,

1:01:43

wouldn't you want to be represented by someone

1:01:45

who looks like you, who comes from

1:01:47

your culture, who understands you in your

1:01:49

neighborhood and your background? And yeah, of

1:01:51

course, there are gonna be white people

1:01:53

who are the good ones who hopefully

1:01:56

if I represent someone who doesn't look

1:01:58

like me and I have, obviously. That

1:02:00

I do my best to represent their interests

1:02:02

like any great advocate would yeah, but God

1:02:04

It's the same thing as like going to

1:02:06

the OBGYN. I know there are good male

1:02:08

ones. I want a woman Yeah, sorry, and

1:02:10

that's a personal fucking opinion I don't think

1:02:12

that you all should lose your licenses. Yeah

1:02:14

weird and creepy at a party for sure

1:02:16

I'm gonna I'm gonna side -eye you but that's

1:02:19

just me per that's me personally. Yeah, something

1:02:21

stinks about right But why but people say

1:02:23

yeah, you're you have the right to say

1:02:25

no man in my vision up my vagina

1:02:27

when I'm giving birth Yeah, why wouldn't you

1:02:29

have why shouldn't you be able to have that

1:02:31

choice? It though on the worst day of your

1:02:33

life What do you need a lawyer and you

1:02:35

need someone and I'll tell you there aren't enough

1:02:38

Of that people who who are from

1:02:40

marginalized communities because of all the barriers

1:02:42

in this field Yeah, so for those

1:02:44

who can scale them for those who

1:02:46

can be here There are people here

1:02:48

who are holding the door open for you

1:02:51

Yeah, and I'm one of them and there

1:02:53

are I'm not the only one just

1:02:55

because I'm online doesn't mean there aren't thousands

1:02:57

of Just like me better than me

1:02:59

more experience than me who can make it

1:03:01

so that one day We don't

1:03:03

have to have that conversation anymore It

1:03:05

doesn't have to be a Plea if

1:03:07

you will for people to like right

1:03:09

endure like all those invisible barriers in

1:03:11

order to change it Right because the people

1:03:13

the people who built those barriers will

1:03:15

die. Yeah, and they are which is

1:03:17

great Well,

1:03:20

thank you so much for coming on the show.

1:03:22

I fucking love you. I love you I think

1:03:24

you're amazing. Thanks. We're literally paper dolls girl. You mean

1:03:26

cake Please Thank

1:03:32

you so much for coming on

1:03:34

the show Thank you all for

1:03:36

tuning in where can everybody find you

1:03:39

Reb Maisel at Reb Maisel everywhere

1:03:41

on tiktok on Instagram rebuttal podcast

1:03:43

on YouTube on Spotify on Apple

1:03:45

And in Drew's comment section Always for

1:03:47

the rest of my fucking life

1:03:49

and you're coming out with a book and a

1:03:51

cloud book Yep, the book they throw at you.

1:03:53

It'll be out later this year, and I'm so

1:03:55

excited and thank you for having me Oh my

1:03:57

gosh, of course, and we'll defend you down on

1:03:59

hell. Yeah my fucking girl. Same. Thank you all

1:04:01

so much for tuning into this week's episode

1:04:04

of the comment section show. Don't forget new

1:04:06

episodes drop every Wednesday. You can stream the

1:04:08

audio on all streaming platforms but the video

1:04:10

lives for free and exclusively on our favorite

1:04:13

platform Spotify. Thank you so much for watching.

1:04:15

Thank you to my amazing guest Rob Mazel

1:04:17

and I'll see you next week. Bye!