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1:01

there's a video, I don't remember who I heard this from

1:03

actually or if it was like a viral thing, but

1:05

it was like what's the funniest misconception your boyfriend has about

1:08

periods? And there was one person that said their boyfriend

1:10

thought you just put the tampon in and then you take

1:12

it out. Like you just put it,

1:14

you just dip it in, it gets the stuff. Well it's

1:16

like testing the pH of a pool. Exactly. Hey

1:25

everyone and welcome back to another episode of the

1:27

comment section show starring me, your fav, everybody knows

1:29

me, who cares about me. On to

1:32

the guest, but before we get there, we

1:34

are in unfamiliar surroundings team, we're in

1:36

New York. And today we have a

1:38

New York legend, a hilarious and ridiculously

1:42

talented Mary Beth Barone. I can't

1:46

believe I'm here. Oh my gosh, same. This is so

1:48

exciting. Our first time here together. And is this your

1:50

first recording in New York or you've done them? I've

1:52

done them before but at different studios. Okay. This

1:54

is our first time in this

1:56

studio. Spotify HQ. Yes.

2:00

It is crazy. It is. It's

2:02

ridiculous. Yeah, it's just good to be at the World Trade Center

2:04

on Election Day. I think so. Yeah. Hopefully

2:07

it's a good sign. I think so too. Hopefully.

2:09

I think we're... I don't want

2:11

to say anything actually. Okay, same. Same. But

2:14

I will say, Mary Beth, I know you

2:16

were late, but the only reason I'm bringing it

2:18

up is because I'm always late. Okay. Thank

2:20

you so much for giving me that gift. So I feel seen

2:22

and validated by you. I feel seen and validated by you. Time

2:25

zones are really hard. I'm not going to say who put this

2:27

event on my calendar. I won't name names.

2:29

It wasn't me though. But

2:31

time zones are tough. It's math and

2:34

it's tech. It's big tech.

2:36

It's big pharma. I feel like... Yeah, it just all

2:38

is forgiven when it comes to time zones for me.

2:41

But I just appreciate that you didn't lock me out

2:43

of the building. That's big time. That

2:45

was... Yeah. Big

2:47

time. Big time. And

2:50

they sort of run... They run shit. Yeah. And

2:52

we don't even know what's going on. Not enough people talk about big

2:54

time. So... Here we are at Spotify HQ. We're breaking the

2:57

news live about big time. Yes. Notoriously

2:59

and always late. So much

3:01

so that my team lies to me about times all

3:03

the time. Whoa. Yeah, it's

3:05

really bad. What's your... So can

3:07

I have your average lateness and then what do you think

3:09

is the grace period for people being late for things that

3:12

you are organizing? I know. I'm like

3:14

anything has to be. And inside. I'm like

3:16

wow. Yeah. Even though my

3:18

time... That's why I didn't care. When they told me, I was like I

3:20

don't care. I don't mind at all. I would say

3:23

my buffer's like 20, 25 minutes. Which is bad.

3:25

I know. I'm not proud of

3:27

it. It's like a close coast lifestyle. Right. Because

3:30

in New York, if you're not early or late. But

3:32

I really love being punctual so then to be

3:34

an hour late for something I actually ask to

3:36

do is kind of insane. And that's just what

3:38

you're going to get with me sometimes. But that's

3:40

how bad you want to do it. So

3:43

excited you forgot. I was

3:45

so excited. I thought I had five more hours to get

3:47

ready. I could

3:49

have 11 hours to get ready and also be like I

3:51

need like 30 more minutes. And that's my

3:54

cross to bear. A lot of times I just blame

3:56

it on being brown. Like you know,

3:58

I just think minority people time. I've always joked to,

4:00

I'm like, well, you know, whatever time I tell you

4:02

to show up or, like, I'll be there. Just

4:06

add. Two hours. Added. Because

4:09

I'm most likely lying. You know that's called fashionably late. Fashionably

4:12

late. So that's a thing. I mean, in America, I feel

4:14

like there's so much emphasis on being on time, and then

4:16

in other countries, like, I know there's, like, one country where

4:18

the train just sort of arrives when it arrives, and

4:21

you're gonna get where you're going at some point. But

4:23

people don't value being on time there, so

4:25

it's like, it doesn't matter. And I think it's cool, it's cool,

4:29

I think it's cool to dip into that every once

4:31

in a while. But yeah, in New York, everyone's moving

4:33

so fast. Like, I walk really fast, I always want

4:35

to get where I'm going, and I just want things to be

4:37

over. So that's, and that's bad,

4:39

that's no way to live. Like,

4:41

I shouldn't be- I'm living in the moment. You are. That's

4:43

why I'm so late. You're actually living in the, you're living

4:45

in the past in a way. Yeah,

4:47

the moment went without me. Exactly. And I'm

4:49

late. The train has left the station. I

4:52

think New York would, like, collectively

4:54

freak out if the trains just showed up

4:56

whenever. Although I'm sure sometimes it feels that

4:58

they just show up whenever. It is one reason

5:01

that I could never live off the G train. It's

5:03

the G train's world, and we're just living in it. I

5:06

don't know if you ever had the pleasure, but also what's confusing about

5:08

the G train is that I've

5:10

gotten on it going in the

5:12

wrong direction multiple times, because it's like, Queens

5:14

is, or Manhattan is toward Brooklyn or something.

5:16

It just makes no sense. So

5:18

that's one where I'm like, I think someone from

5:21

LA designed this. That's

5:23

what it's sort of feeling like. I

5:25

would believe you, honestly. That's big subway. And

5:28

again, they're sort of in charge. Right, puppeteering, if

5:30

you will. Well, and when I was actually the

5:32

craziest part of the story is I put in

5:34

my GPS this address, and it wanted me to

5:36

take the ferry. Oh.

5:39

And the ferry took an hour, so immediately saw that I

5:42

said I'm getting in an Uber, and then when I looked

5:44

further in my phone, in the Uber, I could have

5:47

taken two subways in 26 minutes. So

5:49

I don't know what's happening today. I think everyone's

5:51

a little out of sorts. Oh, sure. Due to

5:53

the events that are unfolding. Currently.

5:56

How is your election season then? I mean,

5:58

we don't have to talk about it too much, but. Yeah. It's

6:00

been, I mean, horrifying, I'm sure. Like

6:02

most people feel very scared to feel hopeful.

6:04

Yeah, but hopefully, no pun intended, everything

6:07

works out the way we would like it to for now. We'll

6:11

know in a couple months. I

6:14

do want to talk about your career a little bit. About being

6:16

in stand up. I just think

6:18

you're fantastic. But I would love to

6:20

know how you kind of got into stand up. Obviously,

6:22

I find you fucking hilarious. And I've watched your

6:25

opener on The Tonight Show. Oh, yes. And I thought

6:27

it was fantastic. Thank you. That was so funny. So

6:29

I would love to know how you kind of got

6:32

into stand up. Yeah, it was sort of accidental. I

6:34

always wanted to be famous as a kid. I don't know when you

6:36

were born. I was born in 1991. So.

6:39

OK. So I was like Mary-Kate Nashlier, Lizzie

6:42

McGuire. Love, love, love, love. Seeing all my

6:44

heroes flourish, Britney Spears, people like that, the

6:46

Spice Girls. I was very inspired. So I

6:48

really wanted to get in the mix. Although

6:50

I'm not an EPO baby. And I had

6:53

no idea how to get involved in the

6:55

industry in showbiz. So I didn't. Don't tell

6:57

you that part. They don't. It's like you have to sort of figure

6:59

it out for yourself. I never got discovered at

7:01

the mall, which is like a huge thing that I

7:03

carry with me. Oh my gosh. Had you ever been

7:05

approached? I feel

7:07

like my mom was approached one time when I was with

7:09

her. But I wasn't a child. I was like 13. You

7:13

were like approachable age. Yeah. Did that give

7:15

you a complex? Well, they were like, I

7:17

think your daughter could be a child star

7:20

or whatever. Mind you, we're in Chino

7:22

Hills, California, which again is like Inland Empire. So

7:24

it's like it's not even a major city. It's

7:26

not a. But that's the best place to get

7:28

discovered. I thought you meant they approached your mom

7:30

to discover her. No, they approached my mom to

7:33

talk. While you're standing there like a lemon. Yeah,

7:35

right. And then my mom goes, no, we're not

7:37

interested. And then I go, why would

7:39

you do that? My mom goes, that

7:41

guy had no information. He's in

7:43

regular street clothes. He just walks up. Not

7:46

even a business card. No, not even. He had no card.

7:48

She said, can I have a card? He didn't have one.

7:50

And she goes, I think that was a scam or something.

7:52

Could have been. It could have been Walt Disney. Yeah, right.

7:54

Never know. Right. We'll never know. He

7:56

could have unfrozen that one day. And

7:58

that's right. He didn't see it in the nimple. for

8:01

some new talent. And it literally. This

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the kind of lifestyle you've always dreamed

8:14

of. It's a lifestyle that's less math

8:16

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8:18

professional growth, and making a positive impact

8:20

on your family and community. If this

8:22

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8:35

ship sailed without me. I think you could have been a star.

8:38

I obviously didn't know you at that age, but

8:41

I feel like you have child star potential. But

8:43

I think it's better to happen later in life.

8:46

I agree. Just for the development of

8:48

your brain and everything. I agree. So I

8:50

was never discovered. I was never plucked out of

8:52

obscurity. And so I had sort of resigned myself

8:54

to a normal life. And then when

8:56

I lived in New York after I dropped out

8:59

of college, I was working at a startup. And

9:01

I was like, I think I'm gonna take improv

9:03

classes. It feels like a fun thing to do

9:05

after work. Naturally. I had a nine to six.

9:07

It's not nine to five, by the way. They

9:09

tell you that. It's nine to six. It's a

9:11

complete scam. Not including commute. It's insane. So

9:13

yeah, so get home by 10. Total bullshit. How does that

9:15

work? It's ridiculous. Also, you look

9:17

like you would take improv classes. Thank you. Thank

9:20

you so much. I actually never heard that before.

9:22

But yeah, I did do that. Take it how

9:24

you will. Thank you. And I will take it

9:26

as a compliment. I signed up

9:28

for UCB, rest in peace. I think it's mostly defunct now.

9:30

But then a few months in, I was like, I think

9:33

I'm gonna try standup. I was watching a lot of standup,

9:35

and I thought, I have something to add to this conversation.

9:38

And so I bought a Kate Spade notebook, and

9:40

I wrote some ideas down. And then

9:42

I went to UCB to an all women's open mic. They

9:45

gave you two minutes, 120 seconds, to

9:48

get to bare your soul. And I said, if I

9:50

bomb, I'll never do it again. But if it goes

9:53

well, who's to say what might happen? And

9:55

it did go well. Fortunately slash

9:57

unfortunately. And so. Six

10:00

months later, I quit my job, broke

10:03

up with my boyfriend and moved out of our apartment.

10:05

And I was like, I'm gonna be a comedian. And

10:07

that's just what's gonna happen. Right, and thankfully it worked

10:09

out. I mean, yeah. I'm

10:11

actually like, why didn't my family or friends try to stop

10:13

me? Because it's like a deranged thing to do. But

10:16

they didn't, they just supported me. That's

10:18

good. And so I'm thankful. Or concerning.

10:20

Yeah. Depending on why. Well my gay

10:22

bestie from high school, because I have a few gay besties

10:25

from different walks of life, he was like, we all know

10:27

you're insane and you're gonna do whatever you want to do.

10:30

So there's no point in arguing with you. Yeah, they're

10:32

kind of just like keeping the perimeter around you at

10:34

all times. Exactly. They're like, whatever it is you want,

10:36

queen. Just do it. And I acknowledge my privilege. I

10:38

had a support system. If I ever

10:40

fell on hard times, I could ask my parents for

10:42

help. So I did get like, you

10:45

know, part-time jobs and stuff. But I

10:47

became like a full-time comedian in quotes. Because like, what

10:49

does that mean? In 2019, right

10:51

in time for the world

10:53

to shut down. Right. Just cool. Right when

10:55

performing live was not a good idea at

10:57

all. But I had done enough of it

10:59

where I couldn't picture myself doing anything else.

11:02

That's good. So in the pandemic, it was

11:04

sort of like, yeah, you're back to

11:06

the drawing board on like how to express yourself

11:09

without the stage. But I found that a

11:11

fun challenge. And yeah, it feels like a

11:13

distant memory, but also it feels like it's

11:15

still happening in a way. How was it

11:17

coming up in comedy? Like, how has it been

11:19

as far as like, I know it's a very

11:21

male-dominated field, obviously, but how has that been

11:23

for you? Luckily,

11:26

we are living in a time where

11:28

there's a lot of like independent comedy

11:30

venues. So people like us

11:32

and the fellow members of

11:35

the LGBTQ community, lots of women,

11:37

and that just non-straight white

11:39

men, we have the ability to produce

11:41

our own shows and grow audiences online.

11:44

But the early on sort of

11:46

path is to go through the club scene,

11:48

which is like very tough as a woman.

11:50

I'm sure. And you hear, yeah, it's hard.

11:55

I'm just happy that people starting now

11:57

have like a lot more options. other

12:00

than going the traditional route. Going the traditional route,

12:02

because it is just so, I mean, as much

12:04

as progress has been made,

12:07

I think at some of those venues, you

12:09

still will see all male lineups or you'll

12:11

be in a green room and you'll feel

12:13

unsafe or you're just on a show with

12:15

people that you fundamentally

12:17

don't agree with or align

12:19

with on any issue. So it's tough, but it's really

12:21

nice that we have a lot more safe spaces for

12:23

us and our audiences

12:26

who don't wanna hear that bigotry or

12:28

complaining about how hard it is. Yeah, they don't

12:31

find that shit funny. No. Which is

12:33

crazy. It's awesome. It's so crazy how

12:35

it works. Yeah, so I wanna say that

12:37

I'm a huge fan of yours. Oh, thank

12:39

you. Obviously discovered you on TikTok, Roasting Men,

12:42

which is a pastime of mine as well,

12:44

but I have learned so much from you. Oh,

12:46

thank you. I never heard of body neutrality

12:50

before you did a video about it, I think, or

12:52

you had spoken out about it. And I just feel

12:54

like, I don't know, you are very

12:56

inspiring. Thank you. I love that you have

12:58

all these ways to reach your audience. Thank

13:00

you, I appreciate that. I think it's awesome.

13:02

And like I said before we started recording,

13:05

doing a podcast in full glam, it's like

13:07

we can only aspire to such things. And you know

13:09

what's funny about that is, I

13:12

obviously am in full glam and I was working

13:14

this morning, but what I will say is when

13:16

I first started this show and it was the

13:18

baby that it was, I

13:20

said, I talked to my mom and

13:22

sister and I only had one person on my team at that

13:24

time and we were kinda talking about the show. And I was

13:27

like, I think I could do it myself. I'm pretty good at

13:29

doing my own hair and makeup. And then the first

13:31

day of shoots, it was rehearsal and then shooting

13:33

cover art. And so I did

13:36

the rehearsal and obviously there have these very high

13:38

def cameras. These ones are even more high def, I'm sure.

13:41

But I did the rehearsal. My

13:43

mom watched it, obviously my sister watched it. And

13:46

they were like, oh, so funny, so great. My mom

13:48

goes, yeah, you should hire someone. I said,

13:50

oh. Oh. Yeah. My

13:52

mom goes, my mom's showing me. She's like, yeah,

13:54

I think you should hire someone. See, I love that.

13:57

Me too. I love that moms will say those

13:59

things at other. are afraid to say. Yeah,

14:01

and you know what's funny is that

14:03

same day I had a very awful

14:05

eye infection that I didn't know yet,

14:08

but are you familiar with bulldogs at

14:10

all? I am. Not like I've

14:12

never had one, but I... You know what they

14:14

look like. Yeah. They get this thing called cherry

14:17

eye where like their blood, like literally

14:19

it pops out, like their eyes bulging out and

14:21

you have to like massage it to make it go

14:23

back in, right? With those nails? Well, I

14:25

don't do the massaging. And my point being that's

14:27

what my eye looked like. And I

14:29

was so stressed because I was like doing this for the

14:31

first time and I was like, it's not that bad, right?

14:33

And I was looking at my sister and my sister was

14:36

like, no, no.

14:38

And then in post they had to edit my eye down

14:41

because my eye was so red and inflamed. Whoa.

14:44

And I'm like going like, do you know what you got it

14:46

from? Yeah, it was

14:48

something flew in my eye and scratched my

14:50

cornea. So I had a corneal ulcer. Wow.

14:53

Yeah, it was a big, it was a big day.

14:55

I got two bad news bears

14:57

that day, which was need to hire someone because

15:00

my skills are not up to par. Competing

15:03

with these HD cameras. We're going

15:05

to lose every time. I'm going to lose every time. I'm scared

15:07

to see what's, I did my

15:09

makeup in a rush because I was late. And

15:12

so we'll see. I think you look fantastic. I didn't

15:14

put a highlighter on. That could be, this could

15:16

be the end of my career. No highlighter? Well,

15:18

nothing. You mentioned it. It's

15:20

looking a little flat. Yeah. Also I

15:22

had to rip my nails off and now I'm looking at your nails with envy. I'm like,

15:24

did I even show up for work today? The

15:27

fuck is wrong with me? It's like, yeah, for

15:29

real. I had to. It's

15:31

really hard. It's so hard. I had

15:33

Barbie pink nails and you know, I mean, I

15:35

feel like you probably don't let them grow out,

15:37

but I just, they were like, they were starting

15:39

to lift and getting caught in my hair. And

15:42

you hate that. So I had to make the difficult choice to rip

15:44

them off. And you have to rip them off immediately. Immediately

15:46

because if one is off, it's like, I'm not

15:48

going anywhere until I have 10 clean fingernails. I

15:51

feel like that too. So they're like stubs. I've had

15:53

these for so long, like this length that

15:55

I feel like pretty natural with them now. Now

15:58

when I don't have any nails at all, which is rare if I do. But

16:00

if I don't I feel like my hands they

16:02

look like those little remember when people were super

16:04

into those tiny hands And they'd put them in

16:06

their oh, yeah, that's what I mean That's

16:09

what I have I think

16:11

your hands look normal size but mine I feel

16:13

like they're just so Small now

16:15

and now you're used to seeing them with the

16:17

sort of like elegance of this and and they

16:19

really do like trick the eye Right, they

16:22

really do. I think so. I'd like to

16:24

think so and look at that rock Period

16:27

I mean how cool is that right? Oh my gosh.

16:29

Thank you. Sorry. I'm sorry. I hope the HD cameras

16:32

are picking that You

16:35

can see this from space probably that's just kidding. That's

16:37

me bragging about my no, it's a fabulous

16:39

ring Did you pick it out? Was it

16:41

a joint effort? No, not at all? And

16:43

I feel like people think I'm lying when I say

16:46

that But I I'm

16:48

a very type a person so I love to control

16:50

things and pick things out with the ring

16:52

I just knew that he was not gonna let me Have

16:56

any say okay, like cuz I he was like I want

16:58

to give it to you I want to surprise you plus

17:00

like I just trust him so implicitly with things

17:02

that I like that I'm like, I'm sure

17:04

he's gonna do a great job Right

17:07

and he also made it gold too because

17:10

I only wore gold jewelry. Mm-hmm. That's

17:12

my man. He did a fabulous job Thank

17:14

you so much. I just want to acknowledge the work. Thank

17:16

you. I appreciate it I'm sure he does he's listening in

17:18

the other room. That's okay. It's not. Yeah, he's in the

17:21

other room Not too many compliments for him though. He

17:23

doesn't need those back I Do

17:26

want to ask you this is one of my favorite

17:28

questions to ask a stand-up comics out like female

17:30

stand-up comics Which is like have you

17:32

ever been given advice Unsolicited advice after

17:34

a set by someone who was worse

17:36

than you. I mean I've gotten unsolicited

17:39

advice from an audience member. I Did

17:42

a while you're actively performing at well,

17:44

I'm sure after the fact I was

17:46

it was after so I was a

17:48

Gotham comedy club and I walked out

17:50

from my set which did go well

17:52

Not to toot my own horn a

17:55

man followed me outside. He starts pitching me

17:57

on tags on my jokes And

17:59

then he goes You should be writing this down. This

18:04

episode of the comment section is brought to you

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by Amazon. When it comes to buying gifts,

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more at amazon.com/holiday deals. Oh,

18:27

no, thanks. Why? I'm

18:30

good. I thought you just wanted to vent to me.

18:32

Yeah, I got. Hey, why don't you go back in

18:34

and do the two drink minimum that you're going to

18:36

pay for and leave my leave my business to me?

18:39

It was I mean, that's just like it happens

18:41

all the time. And it's not I mean, that's

18:43

like one example that really stuck out to me

18:45

because I was just like, where the fuck do

18:47

you come off? Also, the pitch wasn't good. Yeah,

18:50

I'm like, are you catching these nuggets? I'm

18:52

dropping. Well, that's what's scary about about performing

18:55

in a comedy club, because they have so

18:57

much access to you. I know people know your

18:59

exact location all the time. That's crazy, which is

19:01

really frightening. I had to stop posting shows for

19:03

a bit because there was one guy that was

19:05

just like showing up to all of them and

19:07

standing in the back. And he was just kind

19:09

of scaring me. So that's you know, it's it's

19:11

there's any number of things that you would experience

19:13

as a female stand up that make you uncomfortable.

19:15

One of them certainly being getting advice you didn't

19:17

ask for. And I have

19:19

plenty of people I go to when I need

19:21

help on a joke. It is not going to

19:23

be a random Middle East straight white man. And

19:25

it's in the audience at Gotham comedy club. Right.

19:27

It's just not going to happen. I'm like a

19:30

running bit where I I talk about

19:32

how like straight white men, they'll tell

19:34

like two fat jokes that make their like

19:37

shithead friends laugh. Yeah. And then they'll be like,

19:40

I should start working in comedy. And then they do.

19:43

And then they work for 15 years. And

19:46

then they get stand up specials. And

19:48

then I'm in a green room with them. Do you

19:50

get that? It's really hard. My thing right now is

19:52

like, if you are a straight man who wants to

19:54

be a comedian, you better have a point of view.

19:56

Right. If you're coming in with the same recycled shit

19:58

that we've been hearing since the dawn. of time. Right.

20:00

I don't need it. I don't need it. Yeah. I

20:02

really don't know. It's cool. It's funny too because I've

20:05

when I was like fucking up a different comedian

20:07

for telling a bunch of and you know who

20:09

I'm talking about. But a bunch of jokes about

20:11

like it's just bigotry right. So

20:13

I even said I'm like those

20:15

jokes are fucking lazy more than anything. And

20:17

I was like I even said I'm like

20:19

I could find all those jokes on

20:22

like your racist uncle's Facebook page probably

20:24

with their names. Yeah probably with a million

20:26

behind me. Oh for multiple. Absolutely. A picture.

20:28

That's why I'm like the shit's just not

20:30

funny like because then after I posted that

20:32

video I had people going like oh

20:34

people get so offended and like and like

20:37

he's a comedian. It's his job to tell jokes

20:39

to which I'm always like I would

20:41

consider myself a pretty funny person. I mean I

20:43

would I. We can check tape if you guys would

20:45

like but I feel like I have a pretty solid track

20:47

record to prove I'm funny. I know I'm funny but

20:50

I was like maybe give me a shred of credit

20:52

and everybody else who fucking hated it. Maybe

20:54

the shit sucks. Maybe it's just not funny. Yeah. Like

20:57

have you considered the fact that maybe the joke was ass.

20:59

Like did you guys consider that or. No they

21:01

don't. Well and they want to jump on anyone

21:03

that has a problem with the joke. I'm like

21:05

and I will say I give a lot of

21:07

grace to jokes that are offensive but they're funny.

21:09

I'm like you know what there's merit there. It's

21:11

clever and or it makes me rethink something or

21:14

I feel like it's like you know holding a

21:16

mirror up to society or whatever. Yeah. But then

21:18

there's ones that just like aren't funny and lazy

21:20

and have been told like hundreds of thousands. It's

21:22

a joke from a popsicle stick. Yeah. It's just

21:24

like really. That's what it's your best stuff. Right.

21:27

You wanted to bring to the world stage. It's

21:31

confusing. That's your best self. It's really confusing.

21:33

It's setting. It's tough to watch. I mean

21:36

comedy is changing so much right now because of

21:39

social media. I think in some ways for better

21:41

like I said finding your own audience not going

21:43

through the old channels that we had.

21:46

But I do think there's like so much

21:49

access to being a comedian now that it's

21:51

like a lot of good and a lot

21:53

of bad. You know I think there's a

21:55

bubble. I think it'll pop in the

21:57

next few years. I think being a comedian now is

21:59

what. what people thought

22:02

being in a band in the 90s was, like

22:04

it felt cool and sexy to be like

22:06

a rock star and like, you know, you're

22:08

getting, I don't know, living like this fabulous

22:10

lifestyle. Like comedy is so hard. It's like

22:12

gut wrenching, it's soul sucking and

22:15

it's not glamorous at all. Yeah, I mean a

22:17

little. So I hope that that will fade. I

22:19

don't know what the next thing will be but

22:21

I think comedy is just like the thing right

22:24

now. That's actually such a good point. And I

22:26

feel like, like you said, with the access to

22:28

social media, like gives people, especially if they're able

22:30

to grow followings, it gives

22:32

people this like false sense of like

22:35

perspective. It's like, oh, well all of these

22:37

people online, which is so funny because I

22:39

have resisted stand up for so long and

22:42

I love stand up. I've loved stand up for years. That's

22:44

been like my favorite art form for a very long time because

22:46

I love making people laugh. So I love communities.

22:49

I've been following many forever. That's why I love

22:51

your stuff too. And I

22:53

remember like telling my team,

22:55

I'm like, I just don't wanna find out the

22:57

hard way that I'm, I can't do that. Like

22:59

I'm not funny that way because I understand that

23:02

it doesn't always translate. Like you can make people

23:04

laugh behind a camera but that's also cause you

23:06

don't have anyone live with you. And

23:08

you also don't have any strangers listening to you.

23:10

So you're one of our bravest soldiers. I

23:14

have seen so many people make the

23:16

jump or what's even crazier is when

23:19

they are failed standups who then become

23:21

online personalities. The amount of stand up

23:23

I've seen go terribly at a live

23:25

show that then becomes a front facing

23:27

camera video talking straight to camera. I'm

23:29

like, and then it does well and it gets 2 million likes.

23:33

I mean, look, if there's people out there enjoying

23:35

it but Steve never tried standup. I

23:37

have actually, I've done one type five. I

23:40

did it for Caleb. Perfect. Yeah,

23:42

I opened for Caleb and Chris Fleming. Which

23:44

is so funny because I was like that at

23:47

the Largo which is a huge- Absolute icon. Right.

23:49

When I tell other people that story, they're

23:51

like, what the fuck? Like that's great. And

23:54

I was like, I was very intimidated obviously.

23:56

And I've told Caleb and Chris too but

23:58

that was the scariest thing I've ever- done

24:00

doing this for a living and I don't care

24:02

about talking live, I don't care about, I don't

24:04

get stage right, I never get any of that,

24:07

but that shit, I was like losing sleep over it,

24:09

I was so nervous. Well it has an effect on

24:11

the body. Live performance is

24:13

nature's laxative, I've always said that. It

24:15

will just like, it'll chew up your inside

24:17

and then you have to expel it. But

24:21

that's like a tight five, perfect. You could

24:23

ride that for years. Yeah, and I just-

24:25

You could tour that. Right, that's what my

24:27

man, don't say that my manager's here and he's gonna be

24:29

like, I told you, I told you. He's probably laughing

24:32

right now. But what's funny

24:34

about that is like I was so nervous

24:36

because I love stand-up so much and I

24:38

was like if I go up there and

24:41

nobody laughs, first of all, I'm

24:43

gonna shoot myself on stage. Could

24:45

never happen. That's the only way I'm gonna do it. Yeah. I'm

24:48

going out, either one of us, either you laugh or something terrible can happen.

24:50

Or I'm gonna change the course of your life. What's

24:52

that mean? Changing everybody's lives in this room together. Right now.

24:55

But you know what's funny. Right, I think. And

24:58

you know, joke structure is like if you

25:00

are an intelligent person and you watch a

25:02

lot of comedy, you can write a joke.

25:04

You can write jokes. It's like you notice

25:06

the different types of jokes and how you

25:08

can plug your idea into that. So I'm

25:10

sure you did amazing. It was a good

25:12

starter for me because I was like, I

25:14

also wanna, because Caleb asked me, like, oh, do you want me

25:16

to promote it for you? Like say that you're gonna be there.

25:19

And honestly, I told him no. And I

25:21

was like, no, I just wanna find out if I'm

25:23

funny. I wanna tell the jokes. Because like,

25:25

if I go, like my fans might go, which is great,

25:27

I believe them, they find me funny, but I wanna go

25:29

in front of strangers. Like an audience that's not mine. Just

25:32

to really see if like, you know, people will laugh.

25:34

And he was like, I admire that about you. I

25:36

think that's great. And I was like, well, I

25:38

told you my backup plan if nobody laughs. Exactly. And

25:41

the blood would be on his hands too. Yeah.

25:44

Closable deniability. There's that thing

25:46

of like when standups get so popular that

25:48

like anytime they pause on stage people will

25:50

just laugh. And it's not, it's harder

25:52

I think to work out material at that point. Luckily

25:55

I'm not there yet. Yeah. I still

25:57

have to go up there and try things. But yeah, it's

25:59

a. It's an insane thing to do. I'd say

26:01

it's deranged, it's a product of mental illness, and

26:05

I regret it. I regret it every day. But

26:08

it brought me here. Spotify HQ. Right.

26:10

With you. The Spotify HQ. In our

26:12

library with all of our favorite books.

26:14

We look so scholarly and

26:17

well read. I mean, from the

26:19

classic car book to

26:21

the NBA at 50. The

26:23

Rolling Stones unzip. Wimbledon. We just read all

26:25

the titles. Yeah, it's like. You know what's

26:27

funny? My book's not back there. Oh.

26:31

So I'm going to head out. It

26:34

sounds like a personal issue. Yeah,

26:37

it's going to be. I'm like speaking of guns for each under

26:39

my chair. Everybody

26:41

has one. It would get a lot of views. It

26:44

would get a lot of views. Do you have a gun? No.

26:47

Me neither. Yeah. But some people

26:49

do. I mean, it's not

26:51

for me. I think

26:53

we should abolish guns in general. But sometimes women I

26:55

talk to, they're like, no, it's so powerful to go

26:57

to a gun range and shoot a gun. I just

26:59

have no desire to do that. Me. I'd

27:02

rather get a root canal than do that. Just

27:06

no interest. I'd rather get a pap smear. Oh my

27:08

god. Any day of the week. Right. I

27:10

was explaining a pap smear the other day to someone.

27:13

I don't remember who it was or

27:15

why we were talking about that. But I was explaining

27:17

what it was. And they were like, what?

27:20

It's a shocking practice. It is. And

27:23

now we have to go less, I guess, the

27:25

new guidelines you go every few years. But yeah,

27:27

to put your feet in stirrups, just

27:30

as an idea is completely insane. Yeah,

27:32

that's unfair to me. They're

27:34

like for that. So you're scooching

27:36

down to the edge of the table. And then

27:38

they pry your vagina open with a speculum. And

27:41

then they try to ask you, what are your plans

27:43

after high school? Right. And you're like, I'm kind of

27:46

busy right now. I

27:48

don't want to talk about it. It's kind of hard for me

27:50

to think. Yeah. Have you ever had a colposcopy? Because

27:52

that's the next step in the pap smear journey.

27:54

Well, you are a lot older than me. I'm

27:56

100 years old. It's

28:00

if you have an abnormal pap smear, then you have to

28:02

get a colposcopy where they, and I hate to say this,

28:04

scrape. Oh yeah. And then they send

28:06

it in to be tested. Being

28:09

a woman is, it's a lot. It

28:12

is a lot. Having uterus in general is

28:14

a lot. I was telling my cousin Adam

28:16

the other day about how when you're on

28:18

your period, sometimes it's easier to just sit

28:20

on the toilet and free bleed into it.

28:23

Cause it's so painful to wear tampons or underwear or anything,

28:25

so you just sit there and bleed. And

28:27

I just kinda chill. And it's the pressure of

28:30

it as well. Which I guess is what contractions

28:32

feel like. I haven't given birth yet,

28:34

but that's what I have come to understand. And

28:37

that sounds really scary. I know, I've told him,

28:39

he's like, what do you mean just bleed? And

28:41

I was like. Well cause it's just like, you

28:43

just let it out. Yeah, it's more painful to

28:45

have something in there. I'd rather just like, you

28:47

know, it's like the top of the

28:49

ketchup bottle where you're just kinda like, right. Yeah,

28:51

you hit the 57. Right. And

28:53

you get that little juice first and then the ketchup

28:56

comes out. Oh yeah, yeah. That's what that is. Yeah,

28:59

the globs really in a lot of ways. I

29:01

think it's so funny when, like there's a

29:03

video, I don't remember who I heard this from actually or

29:05

if it was like a viral thing, but it was

29:07

like, what's the funniest misconception your boyfriend has about periods? And

29:09

there was one person that said their boyfriend thought you

29:11

just put the tampon in and then you take it out.

29:14

Like you just put it, you just dip it in,

29:16

it gets the stuff. Well it's like testing the pH

29:18

of a pool. Exactly. The

29:21

water hardness. I just love the innocence of that. The

29:23

pure innocence to be like, oh yeah, you just put

29:25

it in, take it out and you're done. Just

29:28

yeah, it's awesome. Set it and forget it. It's single use,

29:30

it's fine. I love that.

29:32

And whoever you were talking to about pap smears, they

29:34

can now take that knowledge out into the world. There

29:36

you go. Just a little like,

29:38

a little tester. A little crumb. A little tester

29:40

straw. Yeah. To make sure there's no

29:43

lead in your water. That's awesome. I

29:45

don't think my fiance had any misconceptions about

29:47

it. I did tell him about like. This

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30:21

new drops. Period

30:23

poops, which are like just basically diarrhea.

30:26

I mean that's a whole other thing. Yeah. On

30:28

your period. Which is like, again, not a choice.

30:30

It's just kind of what happens. No matter what

30:32

you eat, doesn't matter. It feels, yeah, it's

30:35

like putting a hat on a hat. Right. It's like, I

30:37

didn't need all this period was

30:39

enough. Yeah. That's the headline and that was great.

30:41

Right. But then you have the, there's an encore,

30:45

and that is a non-negotiable part of mine.

30:47

Unfortunately. Do you have an IUD or anything?

30:49

No. Okay. I'm on the pill. I'm rocking

30:51

that. The IUD. And it's the hormonal one,

30:53

low dose. And I know

30:55

everyone's journey with IUDs is different. This one has

30:57

been great for me and I don't get my

30:59

period. Oh, okay. My boobs still get swollen

31:01

once a month. How cool is that? Like

31:04

I love it. They're swollen right now. This is me. I'm

31:06

happy for you. I'm happy for

31:08

you. Thanks. Yeah. Mine, when mine, like, mine

31:10

do like grow on my period, obviously, but

31:13

mine, I already, I'm packing heat on my

31:15

chest. You asked me if I have a

31:17

gun. No. No. But on my chest, two

31:19

cannons. Yep. Cannons. Holy shit. I mean, I

31:21

can, so I, not to bring this up.

31:23

You're wearing a sheer turtleneck with the leather

31:25

over it. Yes. It's a cool

31:27

look. It's a cool vibe. I can only

31:29

see a whisper. Right. So when

31:31

mine swell, like I've said this before,

31:33

I'm like, if I had small tits,

31:36

like the world would open up for me fashion wise,

31:39

because like nipples showing small tits,

31:41

like no bra. When you're, when they're small,

31:43

it's like, ooh, chic fashion

31:46

with mine. It's like, you know,

31:48

it's very medicinal. Okay. It's very wet

31:50

nurse. It's very like national geographic. Yeah.

31:52

It's like, I need to study them.

31:55

Right. You know, it's not like, ooh,

31:57

it's biology. Right. It's not sexual instead

31:59

of They become memories

32:01

even Which is

32:03

cool. I've never so I would probably

32:07

Give up my first born to have big boobs

32:09

really I'm not gonna get implants I've decided but

32:11

I all I wanted since I was a kid

32:13

was just huge knockers really and I think a

32:16

reason or you just Don't feel drawn to them.

32:18

I just love them I think they're beautiful and

32:20

I just thought since my mom had big boobs

32:22

my oldest sister had big boobs I

32:24

was like well, I'm next And

32:27

I never got them and God made you funny instead

32:29

I know and if I had boobs I wouldn't have I

32:31

would have never told a joke in my whole life

32:34

I think about that a lot how my life would be different if I had

32:36

big ones I think I'd probably have like 12 kids

32:40

and I would live not in a city. No, I'm

32:42

not in a city So it's for the best right,

32:44

but you'd be Mormon problem. I would be I would

32:46

definitely be religious in some way Because

32:48

I would have you know him to think But

32:52

now you're mad at him so you became a comic yeah, I

32:54

did and I'm speaking hard truths But

32:57

yeah, there is that thing of like oh, yeah, you could

32:59

show nipple with small boobs or whatever I don't know. I

33:02

just wish I had big ones, right? I

33:04

feel like mine. It's like across to bear

33:07

I I don't mind them but sometimes

33:09

in tops. I'm like damn But

33:11

also like my fitness goals

33:13

are like they're not goals, but like

33:15

I've always Recently, I'm like

33:17

I want to look like the rock from behind

33:21

My favorite actor right I'm not kidding if

33:23

I see anything he's in I've seen Baywatch

33:26

and I've shown Baywatch just so many people.

33:28

I've seen Baywatch five times. It's a fabulous

33:30

movie Have you ever seen Hobbs and Shaw?

33:32

No, okay? What is this? It's

33:36

like a Fast and the Furious spin-off. Okay, so

33:38

but it's the rock and Jason

33:40

Statham and second favorite

33:43

actors Knock he's

33:45

if but I always imagine that it's Jason Statham in

33:47

the movie right. It's not a character Yeah, he's playing.

33:49

It's the actor who's married to Rosie hunting and white

33:51

Lee. Yeah, yeah in that that's him That's not a

33:53

character. Yeah, I kind of like the rock. Yeah, he's

33:55

playing the rock He's playing the rock which I love

33:57

and I think he's great at I think he's master

34:00

it and we my it

34:02

was like me my sister and

34:04

my fiance and like our little brother we like went to

34:06

go watch Hobbs and Shaw we actually wanted to watch a

34:08

different movie but it was sold out so we

34:11

were like I guess we'll see this one well can

34:13

I ask what the other movie was I don't I

34:15

need to know that's to me to picture the

34:18

story I just want to know well I'll honestly

34:20

I remember around the the year that we went

34:22

so I'm gonna have to look it up yeah

34:24

I'm literally gonna let me know I would just

34:27

be curious but we were like I guess we'll

34:29

see Hobbs and Shaw I was laughing my

34:31

ass off and I've shown at least

34:33

five people that movie and not everybody laughs

34:35

you know I'm gonna watch it that makes

34:37

six you should see it I just think

34:39

like a blockbuster that feeds

34:41

the soul to me a blockbuster with

34:43

a few laughs in it some action I

34:46

love the rock shirtless right some high stakes

34:49

I'm in my I'm sat I'm

34:51

seated have you ever gone to those movie

34:53

the movie theaters with like the interactive seats

34:55

I did it Disney I went to the

34:57

Bugs Life ride that's as close as I've

34:59

ever gotten I like when they sneeze on

35:01

you yeah and the bugs crawl out on

35:04

your butt that's a great ride that is

35:06

you know what that's so funny that is

35:08

an interactive movie you're so right um

35:10

have you as an adult yeah

35:13

we went we saw Deadpool the most recent Deadpool

35:15

and like a 4dx so it's not

35:19

like the one that like really

35:21

shakes you because what we wanted to see

35:23

was twister like that mm-hmm Glenn

35:25

Powell thoughts on him so I didn't

35:27

get it for a long time and then

35:29

something something switched in me and I thought

35:31

you know what I am willing to accept

35:33

him as a movie star and

35:35

that's been huge for my personal growth he seems

35:37

like a nice guy you ready to accept Glenn

35:39

Paul as your lord and savior as a movie

35:41

and my lord and savior yeah my heart is

35:44

open to Glenn

35:47

Powell I guess we say the sinner's prayer but

35:49

specifically for Glenn Powell for

35:51

a few I liked him and set it up then

35:54

I saw Maverick that was good I've seen a

35:56

few of his films and you know he's no

35:58

the rock right no doing the Rock

36:00

Johnson, but as far as like

36:02

a heartthrob goes, sure. Right,

36:04

showing, showing. I guess. Who

36:07

am I to say? Exactly. Right. I

36:09

watched Twister at my parents' house. I didn't get to

36:11

do any 4D stuff. Well, I saw people just getting

36:13

thrashed in the theater, so we were like, we should

36:15

go watch Twister, but like that. And then

36:17

they were sold out everywhere. Girl, you gotta

36:20

buy tickets in advance. I know, and we

36:22

were on tour like for

36:24

a month, so we were going across, we checked in every

36:26

city. We went to 22 cities. We went and checked in

36:28

every city. It was sold out every night. And

36:30

we were like, what the hell? Like across the country.

36:33

Speaks volumes, a woman of color. Right. Can't

36:35

get a 4D Twister experience. And misogyny on top

36:37

of that. That's completely insane. Right. How

36:39

was the 4D Deadpool? Because I just imagine Ryan Reynolds being

36:41

there. Yeah. In all

36:43

the 4D theaters. It was fun, because it wasn't

36:45

as, I think, intense as, there's

36:47

like a more intense version of watching movies

36:49

like that, but it would just shake at

36:52

certain points, or like if something explosion

36:54

went off, it would shake again. It was just like

36:56

a- Was it additive? Did you feel? No,

36:58

I felt like I honestly forgot about it. Okay.

37:00

But the best part was the fact that you

37:02

could recline, like open the legs. Oh, that's my

37:04

favorite. I can't really go to the movies. I

37:07

have a bad shoulder. So I can't go to

37:09

the movies unless it reclines. I just can't sit

37:11

still for that long. My shoulder, do you hear

37:13

that? I'm not cracking. That has to do

37:15

with your bad shoulder? It's really bad. It's really fucked up. I

37:17

saw Smile 2. That's the most recent movie theater. How was that?

37:20

Wow, I can't say enough good things about

37:22

it. Really? The first smile I loved, I

37:24

screamed, spooks and scares. I bet.

37:26

Everyone was just like, they could have really phoned in

37:28

a sequel. And instead they made a movie

37:30

about a pop star who's calling on hard times.

37:33

Fabulous. Have you seen it? Are

37:36

you a higher person? No, I'm honestly,

37:38

I'm genuinely a huge scaredy

37:40

cat of shit like that. So if I watch

37:42

a scary movie, I have to be like mentally

37:44

prepared. Otherwise it sticks with

37:46

me. Like I think the last scary,

37:48

no, that's not true. I've seen other scary movies, but like

37:51

one of the last ones I saw in theaters was

37:53

Hereditary. And I went in with

37:55

no knowledge. I had no idea what it was gonna be. And

37:57

it was my stupid sister's fault. here

38:00

by the way. And she said I want to

38:02

go see this movie come see it with me and I said is

38:04

it is it scary because it sounds like hereditary it's a family. Yeah

38:06

it's a story about love and loss. And did she lie? And then

38:08

when we were in like

38:16

I think we were probably 30 minutes in and

38:19

I told her I said how much longer

38:21

is there? I'm scared. And that's the

38:23

last time you ever spoke. I

38:26

could see hereditary dividing families. Right. I

38:28

made my family watch Midsummer. Okay. It

38:31

was after Christmas a few years ago.

38:33

Right. And I definitely I...

38:35

After Christmas? Holiday movie. It was a holiday

38:37

flick. And I definitely

38:39

I got some angry

38:42

responses. I mean people walked out. But

38:45

I love it. It's such a good movie. And that

38:47

was the last time you were allowed to suggest a

38:49

Christmas movie. I haven't been home since. Miss

38:51

my parents by the way. I actually came on

38:53

here to just say mom, dad if you're watching

38:55

I miss you guys. Please

38:58

let me come home. Are you a big horror

39:00

person? Do you like scary movies? I love scary

39:02

movies. My first horror movie I really loved was

39:04

The Ring. Okay. And I think since then it

39:06

just like for whatever reason that movie just

39:09

ripped off the band-aid of like any of

39:11

this could happen in real life. Like I

39:13

stopped thinking that way. So I could watch

39:15

any horror movie and just enjoy it. Right.

39:17

So I'm a bit of a horror movie

39:19

junkie. I had a big spooktober last year.

39:21

But what I do is I watch horror movies

39:24

in the middle of the day. And as

39:26

a freelancer I have the flexibility to do that.

39:28

And it takes away a lot of the like

39:30

scary elements of it. Right. Watching talk to me

39:32

in my apartment at noon

39:36

I wasn't scared at all. I don't know what

39:38

was wrong. What's wrong with the rest of you. But I wasn't

39:40

shaken. I don't know. Maybe try something different. Maybe

39:44

I'm just better than everyone. I don't know. Yeah I

39:46

don't. I feel like I talked to someone recently that

39:48

said oh I think it was my ancient Alex. She

39:50

was saying she'll watch them on planes because there's a

39:52

lot of people around so it's not as scary. Quiet

39:54

Place is a fabulous plane watch. Any of them. Any

39:56

of them. One time I put on a movie and

39:58

the person next to me is watching. in quiet place

40:00

too. I turned off what I

40:02

was watching. I was completely enthralled with the movie. No need

40:04

for my TV. No. I'm gonna watch with this guy. I

40:06

watched with him. And that man

40:09

is my husband. Yeah.

40:13

I watched the Invisible Man. That

40:16

was a weird one. It was very

40:18

strange. I watched that on a plane and I remember me

40:20

and my fiance were sitting next to each other and we

40:22

watched it at the same time. So we like started at

40:24

the same time, which was fun. I

40:27

think that's a fun movie going experience. Yeah. You're

40:29

watching and then you're like, yeah,

40:31

to each other. Yeah. Mid. You know, what's

40:33

funny is speaking of watching movies on planes.

40:35

One time we were flying somewhere and my

40:38

boyfriend was on the aisle. I was in the middle and there was

40:40

an older woman to my right. When

40:42

I say older, I mean like sixties, right?

40:44

She had a giant iPad and she put it

40:47

in the little holder and I said, T

40:49

queen. Sorry. That's, that's living good.

40:52

She came prepared. And she, did she have sub downloaded?

40:54

Yeah, she did. And she had her like neck pillow

40:56

on. Like she had her whole set up and

40:59

then she watched. I saw cause

41:01

obviously the iPad is 32 inches. So I

41:04

saw clearly that she was watching Crazy Rich Asians. Love

41:07

that movie. One of my favorite movies and a

41:09

great plane movie. I've probably seen that 10 times

41:11

and if it's on a plane, I'm watching it.

41:13

Right. It's escapism. Right. And I love that she

41:16

was, you know, appreciating that the

41:18

culture, the lore of Crazy Rich Asians, I

41:20

would like a sequel. Right. Me too. And

41:22

so she's watching Crazy Rich Asians and I'm

41:24

like, okay, queen, get into it. And

41:27

so she's watching and then is

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Capella.edu. I look over.

42:00

and it's the part, it's like the one

42:02

of the first, I think it's the first time you

42:04

see Henry Golding shirtless. It's like when they first get

42:06

there and they're like, ooh, it's

42:08

like implied that they're, they pan to the

42:11

fireplace. They're gonna do, what's

42:13

it called? They're gonna go to pound town.

42:16

They're gonna do bam bam. Yeah, someone's gonna take

42:18

them to pound town. Someone's taking someone to pound

42:20

town. They're both visiting together. Yes. And

42:23

so he's leaning on the

42:25

door frame like shirtless, right, and I'm like, okay.

42:28

The only reason I remember that's the part she

42:30

was watching is because the rest

42:32

of the plane ride, she rewinded that

42:34

one part. Shut up. I'm not kidding.

42:37

And to a point where I was like, I

42:39

was watching her do it, because I wanted to

42:41

make sure she was still doing it. But again,

42:43

brightness all the way up. Of course, on a

42:45

32 inch flat screen. Flat screen right there, and

42:48

she's just going like this, and then she's watching

42:50

it again. Well, here's my thing with movies. You

42:52

can stop whenever you want. You can end the

42:54

story wherever you want. That's why I only watch

42:56

Atonement up to the library scene and then I

42:58

turn it off. Ah, I'll close it. So you

43:00

could just, it's just a short film about that

43:02

character shirtless. She's watching it too short. Exactly. I

43:05

think it's bad. Your movie going experience, you

43:07

create the movie going experience you deserve. Right.

43:10

I love that she did that on a plane because it's not

43:12

private. And I

43:14

still think about her to this day. And that plane ride,

43:16

five hours. We went to Hawaii. So

43:19

we were flying from LA to Hawaii. And

43:22

five hours, like literally, sometimes five and a

43:24

half hours. Depending on the

43:26

dead stream. Right. So she didn't watch

43:28

movies. Trade wins. They play a role. She

43:30

didn't watch any movies really until like hour two.

43:34

After she had her meal, she had her snacks. Then she

43:36

sets up her whole thing. And

43:38

she said, time to watch my favorite show. But

43:40

what confused me- She said, inflight entertainment. What

43:43

confused me was watching the movie all the way

43:45

up until that point and then never watching past

43:47

it. The rest. I would want to know

43:49

what happened, but more respect to her.

43:51

I mean, who knows what she had been going

43:53

through. Right. So

43:56

many times that IV? What did it think? I

43:59

literally tap- We were both watching her watch that

44:01

yeah a million times and then afterwards

44:03

like she when she got tired She just locked

44:05

it as she closer then she

44:07

woke up unlocked it. No, I swear

44:10

to God I still think about her all the time.

44:12

I wonder I hope she's doing well. I hope she's doing I mean I

44:14

hope she's in Hawaii Maybe

44:16

she's living her best with Henry Golding with him.

44:18

We can only hope I can only help Henry

44:20

Golding I hope you found your base fan I

44:23

do think you should live laugh love and dance

44:25

like no one's watching on planes Like you should

44:27

do like it's you're never gonna

44:29

see those people again, right? I mean with

44:31

like obviously be respectful, right? But I feel

44:33

like planes are like a safe space That's

44:35

a place for you to just kind of do which light your

44:37

which you need to do flag fly Because

44:40

you're in the air International

44:42

waters sometimes martial law Up

44:45

in the sky in the sky. What's the craziest thing

44:47

that's happened to you on a flight like

44:50

or random? oh, well, I was

44:52

flying to Seattle a few weeks ago for my

44:54

tour and I

44:56

was sexually harassed by the man next to me.

44:58

Really? Yeah, which has been happening more and more

45:00

since I dyed my hair blonde I

45:03

went on for work not more fun more sexual

45:05

harassment more sexual harassment So I've been dealing without

45:07

a bit more but I have a laptop Okay,

45:10

I know women are allowed to get them now So

45:13

I have a laptop with stickers on it because I

45:15

want to make it my own and I have a

45:17

sticker that I used To sell that says I only

45:19

sleep with socialists So that's a sticker on my laptop

45:21

and this guy next to me who then

45:23

I later saw watching Trump rallies Okay on

45:26

his iPad not 32 inches because he's a

45:28

fucking cheapskate He

45:30

was he goes first of all,

45:32

he sits down. He's like, how are you blah blah blah fine? I have

45:35

my headphones in a talker. He then is asking me. Oh,

45:37

do you wear headphones? So no one will talk to you

45:40

Well, clearly it's not working So

45:42

then he goes can I ask you about

45:44

your stickers? I was like Mm-hmm,

45:48

and he's like is this one true? And

45:51

I was like I was like it's

45:53

that it's interpretive. I just wanted to end the

45:55

conversation I don't know you you're like 65. You're

45:57

weird. You're like ugly in your face is

46:00

like really red. You know how Republicans

46:02

are all really red in the face?

46:04

Because they're so mad. Yeah. Like

46:06

a couch in your grandparents' house. Exactly. And I was just

46:08

like, I need you to stop looking at me. And

46:11

so then he was then

46:13

like, is it true? Like, do you really know? He just

46:15

kept wanting to talk to me about the sticker. It's like

46:17

so inappropriate. And I don't know you. And

46:19

then he just kept asking me. Then I turned

46:22

on. I watched Vogue Beauty Secrets for five hours

46:24

because they have them on Delta. I watched, I

46:26

think I watched 20 of them. And

46:29

he kept looking over at my screen

46:31

to see what I was watching and shaking his head.

46:33

And then at one point he tapped me. He's like,

46:35

this isn't very socialist. I was

46:37

like, Vogue Beauty Secrets? I

46:40

don't think they're politically affiliated. I don't think

46:42

it's anything but beauty secrets. It's beauty secrets.

46:45

Let's not make it anything more than it is. And

46:48

then he kept trying to talk to me during the flight.

46:50

And I kept not taking my headphones out. Then I was

46:52

scared to get up to pee because I didn't want to

46:54

interact with him. I was in the window seat. And so

46:56

then he got up to pee. So I quickly got up

46:58

to pee. And I told the guy next in the aisle,

47:01

I need to pee while he's up because he's being so

47:03

weird with me and just making me uncomfortable. And he kept

47:05

moving his leg a little bit closer and stuff like that.

47:08

So this guy, I mean, bless his heart, he was just

47:10

trying to help. But when I came back from the bathroom,

47:12

he was like, do you want me to switch seats with

47:14

the guy? And I was like, I think that's going to

47:16

just draw more attention to it. And I was trying to

47:18

be quick about it. Especially at this point. Yeah, we were

47:20

like four hours in the flight. And the guy starts walking

47:22

back as this guy's asking me if he, I'm like, just

47:24

shut up. Please leave me alone. No, I forgot saying anything.

47:27

So that was uncomfortable. And I guess

47:29

I felt like I was backed into

47:31

a corner, quite literally. And so

47:34

that was weird and bad. That's horrifying. That was

47:36

weird and bad. It was a weird and bad

47:38

thing that happened. And it's awful because it's like, what

47:41

do you do? Like, you can be rude,

47:43

yeah. But then you got to sit there for

47:45

four and a half more hours. Right? Which is

47:47

like, that's a battle you have

47:49

to be willing to pick. And it's like, unless it's

47:51

outright flagrant, I'm not going to pick it. Just depending

47:54

on circumstance, right? Oh, and by the way, it was

47:56

5.30 in the morning. Nice.

47:58

So how? how is your brain

48:01

already operating on that level? How

48:03

are you sexually harassing someone before 6 a.m.? It's

48:05

on the creep level. It's impressive.

48:07

Yeah. But I thought about going to talk.

48:09

You open your eyes, creep. Like, you know what? Okay,

48:11

I'll bite. Yes, I only sleep with socialists.

48:14

I almost went to talk to the flight attendants to see

48:16

if we could switch seats or something, but I feel like

48:18

you're either gonna get a flight attendant who's really nice and

48:20

puts you in first class where there's one open seat, or

48:22

you're gonna get someone that's like, wants to kill you. And

48:25

ultimately makes it worse. And comes over to ask the guy. I said if

48:27

you didn't get out of my fucking face immediately. If you don't back the

48:30

fuck off right now. I'm like, I'm sorry, I'm sorry,

48:32

I'm sorry. No, but my worst nightmare would be like,

48:34

the person comes over to talk to the guy and say

48:36

like, you're making this woman uncomfortable. You know, tell him, tell

48:38

him how you- Oh, so you want him to kill me.

48:41

Yeah, tell him what you told me back there, secretly.

48:43

To his face. Yeah, I need you to tell him. What you told

48:45

me in confidence, because I'm a gay male flight attendant, and you thought

48:47

you could trust me. Why don't we

48:49

just run that back quickly? Yeah, go ahead, tell him.

48:51

Literally, don't be afraid, tell him. No, and I was afraid.

48:54

And I didn't tell him. Well, I'm

48:56

sorry that fucking happened. That's fucking awful. He

49:00

was like, is this your pink bag? I was like, I got

49:02

it, it's fine. Don't come near me. And

49:04

I just ran, I ran. I

49:06

did my New York walk right off the plane. And

49:08

then all he saw was dust. All he saw was

49:11

dust, I said enjoy the view. Never

49:13

gonna see this again. Last year ever gonna see me.

49:15

I'm sure something fun has happened on a plane. I

49:18

just can't think of it. Honestly, I have a story

49:20

kinda similar to yours, happening now, which is crazy. I'm

49:23

sexually harassing you? Yeah, yes, but I was

49:25

at like a photo shoot, right? But there's

49:27

a whole bunch of people there, including my

49:29

team and everything, right? And

49:31

it was a photographer. And

49:34

he, first of all, when

49:36

I got there, when I went down and

49:38

they were like, oh, we're ready to shoot, because they're shooting many people

49:40

at the same time. So they're like, oh, it's your turn. And

49:43

so I go and he's like, I

49:45

can't work in these conditions. That's like

49:47

my impression of him. Totally. Which

49:49

is like really like self-important photographer.

49:51

And to me, pitch perfect, because I'm imagining this

49:53

guy. I'm seeing it. So

49:56

it's very like, I could never, I can't shoot in this

49:58

lighting. Like if I looked over to. he'd

50:00

have a baryon. Totally. And so

50:02

he was like, as soon as he saw me, he

50:05

was like, you're Drew? And I go,

50:07

yeah. And then he goes, welcome.

50:11

Like it's almost like it just flipped. Like it immediately

50:13

turned into a big creep. And

50:15

so then at first it started off kind of

50:17

like, yeah, you look great.

50:20

You look so, yeah, you look great. Like, okay.

50:22

Which I know photographers will be like, beautiful, beautiful,

50:24

whatever. They'll gas you up. It's part of the

50:26

vibe. And you know how sometimes, if photographers are

50:29

like recording you or taking pictures of you, if they

50:31

want to adjust something and there's no one around, because

50:33

sometimes they'll be like, can someone please fix hair? Can

50:35

someone please fix your shirt? They'll

50:38

be like, do you mind if I touch you? That's what

50:40

I've been asked many times by men, women,

50:42

anyone, right? And so I'm like, yeah, that's fine.

50:44

But he never asked me. And so like in

50:46

the beginning, he wasn't really coming near me, but

50:48

I already, I just, I like

50:50

to think, I can smell a dude like that, like

50:53

a drug dog. Like I'm like, yeah,

50:55

like I'm being walked in the airport in

50:58

a circle right there before it's CSA. And they're like, just walk through,

51:00

it's fine. He's not gonna do anything. That's

51:03

me with creepy guys. I am the same. I'm

51:05

the same. I just know. My

51:08

skin is crawling. And I just am like,

51:10

like alarms going off. But sometimes, yeah,

51:13

you just, you got a photo shoot.

51:15

Yeah, so like, and then we moved to the next location,

51:18

which involves him being a lot closer to me.

51:20

Whereas before he had to shoot me behind a

51:22

table. And so then when I'm

51:24

like standing there, he's like, so like, what's

51:27

your thing? And I go, what do

51:29

you mean? And then he goes, like, you

51:31

know, why you're here. And then I go, I make

51:34

fun of awful men on the internet. And

51:37

then he goes, no, seriously.

51:39

Also, mind you, this guy's in his 50s. So why

51:41

are you talking to me like we're the same age?

51:44

We're not. We're not the same age. No, you were

51:46

in college and I wasn't even born yet. I wasn't

51:48

even conceived yet. You weren't even

51:50

in a twinkle in your mother's eye. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

51:52

You were literally filing single form

51:54

tax forms, W-2s. So

51:57

then he's talking to me and he's like, I tell

51:59

him. And then he goes, they said something

52:01

like, you have a podcast. I go, yeah, that's one of the

52:03

things I do. And then he goes, if

52:05

I was on your podcast, what would you and I talk

52:07

about? Ew. And I'm dead at, like,

52:09

a child. Like, I was like, this is so

52:12

juvenile and I'm at least 50 years younger than

52:14

you. Also, keys at work. Hey

52:16

buddy. You have a job to do. Take the damn

52:18

picture. Yeah, and so he's like, what would we talk

52:20

about? And then I go, I don't know, probably creepy

52:23

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52:48

late. Watch Spellbound only on Netflix November

52:51

22nd. And

52:54

then it's awkward. Like, and the only person there is

52:56

my cousin Adam or just my hair and makeup. And

52:58

he was facing me, because he was like, I hated that guy

53:01

so much I felt like I had to stand there the whole

53:03

time. Because he just kept trying to get closer to me, closer

53:05

to me, whatever. And so I was like,

53:07

probably creepy photographers. Do you know anything about that? And

53:09

then we were just making eye contact. And he goes, yeah,

53:12

you know, that does happen. And

53:15

now that I'm looking at these lights, you know what, like

53:18

actually, guys, can we? And he just turned around and I

53:20

was like, oh, crazy. I don't want to talk anymore. Fucking

53:22

weirdo. I would not want to be on the other end

53:24

of you in that,

53:26

you know what I mean? Like just

53:28

eviscerate the guy. Like that's, I mean,

53:30

so many situations, you feel like you

53:32

can't say anything. So I am, wow,

53:34

that's well done. You probably

53:37

made him feel bad for two minutes,

53:39

which is more than maybe anyone else

53:41

has ever done. Ever done, ever in his

53:43

life. Also married. He had a wedding ring on

53:45

and mentioned he had kids multiple times. I was

53:47

like, oh, love that, love that too. And

53:49

then I told, I was like telling

53:52

my family and my team, I'm like, you're

53:54

really lucky that I'm at work. Cause

53:56

if you caught me as a civilian and you

53:58

were acting like this. Well,

54:01

so what are you in that situation? Like, did

54:03

you tell the people that put the photo shoot

54:05

together? Yeah, I told my family and my team

54:07

and my team insisted on telling them. And I

54:09

was like, that's fine. I don't care if you tell them.

54:11

I don't mind at all. And it's one of those

54:13

where like it was too much. Like it's just

54:16

you're pushing it and you're going to make me turn

54:18

into the incredible Hulk. And when

54:20

I do that, I wake up naked in a

54:22

ditch, dead bodies all around me. All your clothes

54:24

are tattered. Right. Well, that's

54:26

very empowering because I think a lot of people, one,

54:28

wouldn't say anything in the moment. And then two, it's

54:31

sort of, you know, it fizzles and you just decide

54:33

I'm not going to say anything. But what does that

54:35

accomplish? I just think it's like it's hard. There is

54:38

still that thing of like, well, I don't want to

54:40

be the one that complained. But I think like we

54:42

need to try to shed that a little bit.

54:44

And I'm speaking as someone that doesn't all the time.

54:46

Like people will be creeps to me and I'm like,

54:48

whatever. It's like it's over for me.

54:50

But that's bad. I need we need to like be protecting

54:52

other women. Absolutely. Well, and

54:54

I think too, it's like it is a

54:56

testament to the workforce. Too,

54:59

because a lot of times when it happens at

55:01

work, like even I, like someone like myself, who,

55:03

if given the opportunity, I would have swung. Sure. But

55:06

like, let's obviously we're in a different context. So I can't do

55:08

that. And even I

55:10

was like hesitating to really say what I wanted to

55:12

say because of what I was shooting. It was very

55:14

big and very important. So that's why I was like,

55:17

I don't want to look unprofessional,

55:19

but I don't deserve to be treated like this. But they're

55:21

being unprofessional. Yeah, exactly. That's what's so frustrating

55:23

about it. Right. I didn't even realize

55:25

how he was just setting you up to Ali Oop. He's

55:28

like, well, we talk about on the podcast. You're

55:30

like, I have some ideas. Yeah, that's kind of

55:32

as good as it could go. Right.

55:35

That's why I'm like, that's how I'll handle it

55:37

now. But also I'm like, you're lucky you caught

55:39

me when I'm about to be 30, because in

55:42

my late teens, early 20s, I was insane for

55:44

lack of a better term.

55:46

More sort of reactive.

55:49

Yeah, no, I was very reactive and I was very physical.

55:51

Like I didn't really spend a lot of time talking when

55:53

men were being like that. What did you do? Oh,

55:56

I've I've fought many. I've

55:58

fought men before, but it doesn't really go. that far because

56:00

as soon as they see I'm like for real, all

56:03

of a sudden it's like... You look like the

56:05

rock from the back and you're like fuck. I

56:07

said you're not intimidated by me, take off my

56:09

top, turn around, different story.

56:11

Wow. At that point. That's

56:13

cool. That's awesome. I've only slapped a

56:15

guy once and it's one of the best things I

56:17

ever did. Oh that's good. It was cool. How

56:20

was it? He deserved it. It

56:22

felt good. Yeah. I was

56:24

drunk and in college so that's why I felt emboldened

56:26

to do that but that's the only physical. I punched

56:28

in the chest too in college once because I made

56:30

out with a girl's crush who was on my... So

56:33

I was on a water polo team with a girl and we

56:35

both had a crush on the same guy. She said it out

56:37

loud first. And then I made out

56:39

with him for 20 minutes in his dorm and he never spoke to me

56:41

again but she punched me in the chest. Damn.

56:45

So that was an L. I took an L

56:47

that day. Big L, yeah. And I was just

56:49

like ow. Why the chest? Why'd you do that?

56:51

I don't know. I think it even surprised her

56:54

that she did it but... You

56:56

guys just became best friends after that? We were

56:58

still friends. That's good. We were still on the

57:00

same team. We were playing water polo and we

57:02

had to let bygones be bygones but it's tough

57:05

in matters of the heart. Were

57:07

you good at water polo? I was pretty good.

57:09

I was better at defense than offense. My throwing

57:11

arm is a little weak but Boston

57:14

College had a club team and I played as a team

57:16

as well. Oh cool. I love that. Yeah

57:19

it was fun. It felt like a very California thing to do.

57:22

My family's in the water sports.

57:24

We are bad at land sports. Oh

57:26

okay. But in the water? Water, forget it.

57:29

Different story. Yeah. So

57:31

swimming, water polo. I guess there was some hockey and tennis in

57:33

there too but yeah. Water polo was kind

57:35

of the only sport I wasn't terrible at. That's

57:37

cool though. Water polo's fucking hard. It's really hard

57:39

and it's vicious. It's kind of

57:41

cool though. I think it's a place where women really

57:44

like they let their animalistic

57:46

instincts kick in and they're like beating each

57:48

other up in the water. Under the water

57:50

too. It's like insane. You have

57:52

to have short nails. They do a nail check because

57:54

you could scratch people. The amount of

57:56

times hands were inside my bathing suit pulling

57:59

me down. But it's like, it

58:01

makes you feel alive. Right. It's fun. You're

58:03

releasing all of it. Yeah. Yeah. I,

58:05

it's funny you brought up water polo. That's one of

58:07

the few sports that I, like genuinely,

58:09

I couldn't do. Like, because I grew up

58:11

an athlete, I played a lot of different

58:13

sports. But like, water polo, my

58:15

mom just randomly was like, hey, I think

58:18

I want you guys should try out

58:20

for water polo. Mind you, my sister and I,

58:22

land sports. Totally. Right. So like, we've never done

58:24

water sports. Nothing wrong with that. I'm, at this

58:27

point in my life, I know for a fact,

58:29

am I a strong swimmer? No. But

58:32

am I a leisure swimmer? Yes. Like, I

58:34

love a leisure swim. But I

58:37

don't want it to feel like I signed

58:39

up for like, a decathlon or

58:41

a chart. Or that you're fighting for your life. Yeah.

58:43

Like, I don't want to feel like a Coast Guard.

58:46

A Coast Guard period. Like, I'm on vacation.

58:48

Yeah. Right. So my

58:51

sister and I were like, OK. And

58:53

so she goes, yeah, we have a pool. I'm like, well,

58:56

I'm sure there's a lot of other things you should know before the

58:58

pool. Before you try out. Yeah. And she

59:00

goes, it's tomorrow. Oh, OK. No,

59:02

for sure. And so me and my sister

59:04

were just practicing in the pool. Like, we

59:06

were doing the little like, egg beater thing.

59:08

Egg beater. Right. To say above. I

59:11

couldn't do it. And my parents were

59:13

like, OK, perfect. Let's go to the trial. Hop

59:15

in. So we go the next day. And

59:18

before you even get to the water polo part, they

59:21

make you swim. Like, up and

59:23

down four times. But up and down is one.

59:25

Yeah. Right. Didn't know that part

59:27

either. Like I said, not a very strong swimmer. So

59:30

we're swimming these laps. And

59:32

I get so gassed, I

59:34

didn't even finish the

59:36

first pass of the first lap. I

59:38

start walking. But then I'm moving

59:40

my arms. And then they're like,

59:42

no walking, no walking. Like, as soon

59:45

as I got to the part where I could walk, I start walking.

59:47

I'm like, I'm not walking. I'm standing fully up. And

59:49

then they're like. Feet on the ground. And I still did all

59:51

four at a snail's pace. Like,

59:54

I think they were almost done with the trial by the time I

59:56

finished. It was over, yeah. Yeah. And then they sent us home. Like,

59:58

they didn't even let us get to the water polo. apart.

1:00:00

They were like, I think you should go home. And I said,

1:00:02

Okay, then to make matters worse,

1:00:05

I drank so much pool water on

1:00:07

accident that I got so violently ill.

1:00:09

You can drown from that. Yeah. Oh,

1:00:12

yeah. Well, I kind of wish I

1:00:14

did because that was honestly humiliating. So

1:00:16

like they sent me home and they said, You guys can

1:00:18

still have these though. And we had water polo shirts with

1:00:21

the club name on it. I bet

1:00:23

they're kind of swaggy though. They were really Yeah, we actually

1:00:25

did. I had them for years. I think I threw it

1:00:27

out when I went to college. But they sent us home

1:00:29

early. They were like, you should go home. They said the

1:00:31

best thing that we could do for all of us is

1:00:33

if you guys left. Because

1:00:36

not only can you not swim, but you might

1:00:38

actually make other people worse. Yeah. Yeah, they're like

1:00:40

watching you is kind of like watching an old

1:00:42

doggy breakfast. And that's a good bummer. They call

1:00:44

that a good coach. Right. And

1:00:46

if you're good at land sports, why put yourself

1:00:49

through that? Water sports are so brutal. It's like

1:00:51

you're getting wet, you're getting you're cold, you're in

1:00:53

the people are peeing in the pool. It's

1:00:55

like you're kicking each other. It's, it's a

1:00:57

lot. Yeah. And if you're better at land.

1:00:59

So what was like your big sport? Soccer,

1:01:01

honestly, that's so sexy. Not

1:01:04

to objectify soccer players. But soccer is

1:01:06

just I mean, it's like I think

1:01:09

it's a beautiful sport, right? So much

1:01:11

more beautiful to me than football, which

1:01:13

feels crass and damaging

1:01:15

physically. Well, yes, to all of that.

1:01:18

Yeah. And also, like no one gives

1:01:20

a fuck about football outside of us like in

1:01:23

the US. Yeah. Not us and even I don't.

1:01:25

That's what's crazy about it. One of the funniest

1:01:28

jokes my sisters ever said to me was like my

1:01:30

sister's a lesbian for context. Okay, but she was telling

1:01:32

me you're welcome. I feel like you could have mentioned

1:01:34

it earlier. My bad. I

1:01:37

didn't want it to be a hallmark of

1:01:39

her. Again, she's right here. But she told

1:01:41

me like, the best part of releasing the

1:01:43

pick me and me was pretending not pretending

1:01:45

to like football anymore. She was

1:01:47

like, Oh, I hated it. And she would pretend

1:01:49

to like it. I mean, I have

1:01:51

been there. Are you kidding? I dated a guy who went

1:01:53

to Ohio State. I had to go to so

1:01:55

many football games and like pretend to be

1:01:58

invested. I tried to learn the rules dozens I

1:02:01

just kept saying, why are they stopping? Why do they keep stopping?

1:02:03

I think it's stopping. When you watch them live too, it's even more,

1:02:05

on the TV, it's like, I've seen people say the

1:02:10

last four minutes of a quarter is

1:02:12

real time, two hours. On

1:02:15

TV, it lasts 100 million years. They're just lying to

1:02:17

us. Yeah, there are some sports I feel like,

1:02:19

I feel that way about baseball. I'm very... Well,

1:02:21

you know they change the rules to make the games

1:02:23

quicker. Because even baseball fans were like, you guys have

1:02:25

to figure this out. We can't

1:02:27

do it anymore. Yeah, because

1:02:29

you pan back and I'm a skeleton in the

1:02:31

chair. I mean, it's crazy. The most exciting thing

1:02:33

to happen to baseball was when Smile did that

1:02:35

viral marketing two years ago. When they had people

1:02:37

behind home plate smiling. And props

1:02:39

to them for changing the rules because so

1:02:41

many sports just wouldn't do that. I

1:02:44

don't even know what they changed, but I know that the games are

1:02:46

faster, so. It doesn't feel like

1:02:48

it sometimes. It doesn't feel like it.

1:02:50

Yeah, and I feel like, I've said

1:02:52

before, baseball was all highlights. I would

1:02:54

be more inclined to pay attention. Absolutely.

1:02:56

But it's everything in between them. That

1:02:59

makes me want to kill myself. Well, I was flying out of LA

1:03:01

when the World Series Game 3

1:03:03

was on. And people were getting off their

1:03:05

flights and stopping to watch TV. If

1:03:08

I'm getting off a flight, I

1:03:11

don't know what would have to be on the TV screen to get me

1:03:13

to stop and watch it. I want to

1:03:16

go home. You couldn't pay me. I'm

1:03:18

on my way to something. I'm not gonna stop and just

1:03:20

see who wins the big game. It's like, if you just

1:03:22

get out of the airport, you might catch it at home.

1:03:25

I can't fathom it. And I

1:03:27

try to not be too harsh on sports fans

1:03:29

because maybe that energy, maybe

1:03:32

somehow equates to less mass shootings because men have

1:03:34

something to do with their time. I don't know.

1:03:36

I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt. But

1:03:38

I'm just like, how are people so

1:03:40

wrapped up in it? I think that all

1:03:42

the time. And I think that a lot

1:03:44

about men who are violently

1:03:46

misogynistic, which means inherently they think

1:03:48

all women's interests are frivolous and

1:03:50

stupid. And I was like,

1:03:53

I mean, you watch other grown men hit

1:03:55

each other. You could freeze, by

1:03:57

the way. Yeah, shins out. Think about that.

1:04:00

Right and it's funny because when

1:04:02

we we recently came back from a trip with my

1:04:04

whole family including my parents and my dad For

1:04:07

context is a really big dude. So is my

1:04:09

fiance so like Older

1:04:11

misogynistic men who love

1:04:13

sports when they see my

1:04:15

dad or my fiance It's like huh, it

1:04:18

feels like they saw a famous person. So they're always like,

1:04:20

oh my god. Oh my god Oh my god, I talked

1:04:22

to you about sports Which is insane cuz

1:04:24

neither my dad is a former NFL player My dad

1:04:26

doesn't give a fuck about football like my doesn't care

1:04:28

about that's so cool Like he doesn't care like he'll

1:04:30

watch it, but he doesn't care and my fiance's the

1:04:32

same way So this older man

1:04:34

like saw my dad was wearing I

1:04:37

believe a Yankees hat but it was like red It's

1:04:40

just the color like my dad

1:04:42

just likes the color sure So he's

1:04:44

like, oh my god Are you worried about the game

1:04:46

because I think it was the same day as it

1:04:48

as one of the World Series games and then my

1:04:51

Dad goes I'm not worried like he just says very

1:04:53

frivolous things that man said that one thing right and

1:04:55

then they were like Right

1:04:57

sat down on the plane whole flight

1:05:00

get off the plane go all the way to

1:05:02

baggage claim finds my dad baggage claim Talk some

1:05:04

for 40 minutes about just baseball and

1:05:06

that's the dangers of wearing a sports Exact

1:05:09

sports team. I mean because my dad is

1:05:11

so like Such

1:05:14

a hermit like yeah attention He's talking

1:05:16

to strangers for long periods of time.

1:05:19

And so he's just going mm-hmm like listening

1:05:21

That guy talked at my dad for

1:05:23

that long your dad had an inherently

1:05:26

female experience exactly What's

1:05:28

it feel like? You're

1:05:31

so family oriented right it's like I love

1:05:33

this I would watch a show

1:05:35

of you and your family like navigating the biz

1:05:37

going on vacation The most insane things

1:05:39

happen to us all the time and it's funny because

1:05:41

that man was talking when my dad that man was talking

1:05:44

He worked football into the conversation talked about that too Was

1:05:46

talking about all these different like games

1:05:48

He was at these players that he's

1:05:50

watched like the hats that yet whatever

1:05:53

right also work transphobia into the conversation

1:05:55

Don't know how he did that my

1:05:57

dad was like the mental

1:05:59

gymnastics He's a gymnast too. Right, and then

1:06:01

he does all that, and then my dad's relaying

1:06:03

it to us after we leave, and then I'm

1:06:06

like, isn't it insane that grown men, like that

1:06:08

man was in his 70s, like his hair was

1:06:10

white and wispy and gone, mind you. And

1:06:13

he's bragging about the accomplishments

1:06:15

of other men greater than himself.

1:06:18

You're a loser. Yeah, a loser with

1:06:20

no one to talk to. Yeah, and no personality. If

1:06:22

you have nothing up here other than facts about other

1:06:24

men. You're seeking out someone's dad at the airport in

1:06:27

baggage claims, and it's crazy. You're harassing my dad at

1:06:29

the baggage claim. Well, what's really scary about those conversations

1:06:31

is they start with sports, then they move on to

1:06:33

transphobia, and then they start pitching you businesses. So

1:06:37

that can be so scary. That

1:06:39

can be so scary. So my heart goes out

1:06:41

to your dad. I hope he's okay. I

1:06:44

know I took my dad recently to a

1:06:46

Clippers game because my dad

1:06:48

loves basketball. Like that's my dad's favorite sport to

1:06:50

watch. Now that's a sport. Yeah, but he has no favorite team.

1:06:52

He just likes to watch, and I took

1:06:54

my dad, like just the two of us, which is

1:06:56

fun. And it was like a court side

1:06:59

thing, which is cool. But when we got

1:07:01

there, my dad wore a wife beater, and my

1:07:03

dad is like, he body built,

1:07:05

he did bodybuilding competition like last year or whatever.

1:07:07

So my dad's a big dude. Like he's big

1:07:09

right now especially. And like I

1:07:11

told my family, I said, taking him

1:07:14

to that game and that tank top was

1:07:16

like dropping a rib eye in a

1:07:18

tiger cage, bitch. Bro, the

1:07:20

way they were all like, oh, when

1:07:23

they saw him, like, and they were like,

1:07:25

big guy, big guy, big guy. They start

1:07:27

like tweaking. That's like weird. Like they start

1:07:29

freaking out. Like they really want to talk

1:07:31

to him about muscles and lifting. Because they're

1:07:33

just like athlete. They're like, I'm

1:07:35

standing close to an athlete right now. And

1:07:38

it's crazy how like these men, they've never

1:07:40

spoken to my dad, they've never seen him,

1:07:42

but they immediately respect him because they think

1:07:44

he's like superior athletically. So

1:07:46

which, I don't know what the fuck that is. They

1:07:49

see him like he is like virile. You know what

1:07:51

I mean? They're like, this man could

1:07:53

produce children. It's like, I feel

1:07:55

like it's very, it's biology

1:07:57

again, it keeps coming up. I

1:07:59

feel like. It's that biological thing of like big

1:08:02

man big man walk hard big man

1:08:04

say seek safety big man seek safety

1:08:06

big man conquer women You

1:08:09

know It's really that's

1:08:11

what they're thinking right that's verbatim what they're thinking.

1:08:13

Yeah, and they're like I need to engage with

1:08:15

this person Yeah, I need to I need to

1:08:17

form an alliance with this person as if it's

1:08:20

like the zombie apocalypse Well,

1:08:22

there were breaks out there. They want him

1:08:24

on their team. Honestly, I'm making sure I

1:08:27

would love to have my down on my team in the event of

1:08:29

that but my mom needs to be

1:08:31

on my team Okay, my mom's the go-getter.

1:08:33

My mom's like she's a very solution based.

1:08:35

She's she gonna be out foraging Oh, yeah,

1:08:37

my mom's formulating a plan immediately. That's what

1:08:39

you need. Yeah, you need both you need

1:08:42

you need brains and and

1:08:44

Braun Right,

1:08:48

that's important to have Braun. Yeah, that's what we're

1:08:50

missing Would you survive in

1:08:53

a zombie apocalypse you think I think

1:08:55

I would I think I would Be

1:08:58

good at the strategy side. Like I think if I

1:09:00

was an orange is a new black I would be

1:09:02

red the chef got you the cook

1:09:04

the chef Who like sort of

1:09:06

is like everyone's a chess piece and you're moving

1:09:08

them around, right? But I think people would underestimate

1:09:10

me especially with blonde hair and I would actually

1:09:12

use that to my advantage Okay, love I like

1:09:15

to think that Well, I

1:09:17

don't know. I guess we'll see in the next couple months

1:09:20

Depending on what happens Yeah,

1:09:24

what about you no, I don't

1:09:26

think but not because I mean I

1:09:29

don't think I'm like physically like Incapable necessarily.

1:09:31

I just don't think I'd want to be

1:09:33

around I've said this a

1:09:36

few times on the show, but I'm like, I mean

1:09:38

when my phone dies like what's what's the point? Yeah,

1:09:41

I guess you can only hope you're with someone you

1:09:43

would want to have sex with and then I could

1:09:45

do that for a while And then die. Yeah, and

1:09:47

then after a couple like 30 minutes, you're like, well

1:09:50

See ya Well

1:09:53

going out on top that's for sure. Good. Absolutely

1:09:55

going on top I know there's so

1:09:57

many zombie apocalypse shows and it does make you think like

1:09:59

what would my I guess I'd probably

1:10:01

flee to the suburbs. I'd go to my parents

1:10:03

house and hang out in the basement until They

1:10:06

came to find me or something. I don't know have

1:10:08

you watched The Last of Us? So

1:10:10

I watched a few episodes and it

1:10:13

felt like a show for straight people

1:10:15

Yeah, and I'm I'm 50% cuz I'm bi

1:10:17

50% gay 50% that's how it works Right,

1:10:20

but I just felt like I don't think

1:10:22

I need to watch it. It's not bad

1:10:24

I it was really well done

1:10:26

like that about a lot of shows to be

1:10:28

quite honest with you I never watch anything

1:10:30

new that's my cross to bear.

1:10:32

Okay. Once again I like when people like you

1:10:34

watching anything new I'm like, nope Well when people

1:10:36

ask me in my face what I'm watching I'm

1:10:38

like, I guess I'm rewatching Mad Men for the

1:10:40

fifth time. So does that count Mad Men's your

1:10:43

favorite show, right? I thought it's huge. I saw

1:10:45

you say that on Caleb's it's huge for me.

1:10:47

Why particularly that show I just I

1:10:49

vibes It's the vibe the writing

1:10:51

is so good The characters all have like such

1:10:53

different like paths and journeys and it felt like

1:10:56

a lot of care went into Like

1:10:59

the stories right and that they didn't cut

1:11:01

corners the like wardrobe is amazing the sets

1:11:03

everything Just feels so like lived in and

1:11:05

real and obviously romanticizing like the 60s and

1:11:07

70s. It's like a time period I'm very

1:11:10

interested in so I just love

1:11:12

watching it And I think I think

1:11:14

there's some characters that the first time around like

1:11:16

where society was at They kind of got like

1:11:18

shat on and then rewatching it now

1:11:20

I have like so much more empathy for the

1:11:22

female characters and even some of the male characters that

1:11:25

are written as They're just complex

1:11:27

like they all felt like complex characters who

1:11:29

sometimes you agreed with what they did and

1:11:31

sometimes you didn't TV now is so Disposable

1:11:33

I'm finding so it's hard for me to

1:11:36

get really invested in a narrative. That's just

1:11:38

like kind of like flimsy You

1:11:40

know, it's hard. It's really hard to be a

1:11:43

TV viewer right now That's

1:11:45

what I came on here to say also in addition

1:11:47

to saying hi to my family But um, so what

1:11:50

are you watching? Are you rewatching anything? What's yeah, I

1:11:52

rewatch Modern

1:11:54

family. I love modern

1:11:56

family speaking of well-written jokes that

1:11:59

like are able to

1:12:01

transcend talking about things that are really

1:12:03

hard. Like I always reference this joke

1:12:05

from a Modern Family episode where, you know Phil

1:12:07

Dunphy always says things and he doesn't realize they're

1:12:10

double entendres. That's like his bit. He

1:12:12

has this line where he goes, guys, I'm transitioning.

1:12:15

And he's talking about changing career paths. And

1:12:17

then Hailey goes, are you really? She goes,

1:12:20

okay, well don't pick Jasmine because nobody

1:12:22

wants to be friends with a 50-year-old Jasmine.

1:12:25

That's funny. That's a good joke. That's such

1:12:27

a hilariously written joke that's not a mean joke

1:12:29

and it's not a punching down joke. It's not

1:12:31

mean, it's not punching down and it's not a

1:12:33

cultural reference. I think there's so much room for

1:12:36

comedy to come from cultural references in shows. It's

1:12:38

when shows rest on that alone for the comedy

1:12:40

that I'm like, okay, it's like I get the

1:12:42

formula now. I need something else. Yeah, so Modern

1:12:44

Family's a big one for me. I

1:12:48

know everybody hates, I know there's like a big hate

1:12:50

train for it, but I love The Office. I think

1:12:52

The Office is one. Who hates The Office? People online

1:12:54

and I feel like a lot of times it's like,

1:12:57

I get it because the worst guy you know loves

1:12:59

The Office and then there's a bunch of awesome people

1:13:01

that also love The Office. It's kind of like friends.

1:13:04

The worst people you know are obsessed with that show and also

1:13:06

really cool people like The Show. So it's like, yeah. Well, if

1:13:08

you speak out about liking The Office as a cool person and

1:13:10

you get blowback, then that makes less

1:13:12

people wanna talk about it. So that's really a

1:13:14

problem stemming from those people. How do you watch

1:13:16

The Office and not have a good time? I

1:13:19

don't know. I just feel like the writing

1:13:21

on that show is just so unbelievably funny.

1:13:23

So funny. And in so many ways. It's

1:13:25

like in the stillness of awkward that it's

1:13:27

the funniest to me. And the panning the

1:13:30

camera. There's a really good YouTube video. I

1:13:32

love coming on here and plugging YouTube videos.

1:13:34

It's about how they changed Michael Scott's character after

1:13:37

the first season. Because he was so unlikable. It

1:13:39

just didn't make sense. Like no

1:13:41

one was like on his side. And

1:13:43

they reformulated the character and to make

1:13:45

this like sort of iconic, timeless, like

1:13:47

boss character. But I just think it's cool to,

1:13:50

I think it's great people are out there doing that

1:13:52

type of work. Looking into that sort of thing. And

1:13:55

making YouTube videos that I can then learn from.

1:13:58

Do you have any other comfort? Do you have a comfort move? I

1:14:00

know you have a comfort show. My comfort movie

1:14:02

is Interstellar. Really? Which

1:14:04

is, I guess, surprising to

1:14:06

some. But I just love

1:14:08

it. Another movie where I can dip in and out

1:14:10

of and watch different scenes and just be like, okay,

1:14:13

that was good, and now I'm gonna go to bed. I

1:14:15

just love it. You know what's funny is sometimes I'll go,

1:14:18

when people say, have you ever seen that movie? I

1:14:20

go, yeah, I think so. Maybe a long time ago,

1:14:22

when I say that, what I mean

1:14:24

is I've seen maybe two scenes, not

1:14:27

even on TikTok, I think maybe on YouTube when I

1:14:29

was just going down a rabbit hole. And I just

1:14:31

feel like I got the gist. And that's fine. So

1:14:33

I feel like Interstellar is there to be consumed however

1:14:36

you wanna consume it. That's my movie-going experience, is watching

1:14:38

one or two scenes with no context and then lying

1:14:40

and telling people I've seen it. That you've seen it.

1:14:42

That's a fun thing to do. I don't like, one

1:14:44

thing in conversations with, and it happens, I hate to

1:14:46

say it, mostly with straight guys, they'll reference someone that

1:14:48

I obviously have never heard of and don't know, and

1:14:51

then I'll go, yeah, oh, okay, cool. And they go, well, do

1:14:53

you know that person? Like, do you know of

1:14:55

that person? I'm like, no. I just wanted

1:14:57

to keep the conversation moving so I could get out

1:15:00

of it. Don't question me. When you're talking about like

1:15:02

a jazz pianist that I've never heard of. Obviously

1:15:04

I don't know that. You know that about me.

1:15:06

And you know that. Because I'm a normal human being. And

1:15:08

this is like our one conversation we'll probably ever have. So

1:15:10

that's how you wanna spend it. I

1:15:12

just think, yeah, if you've never, and maybe one day

1:15:15

you'll wanna watch it. Right. And it's there for you.

1:15:17

It's being released in IMAX. The last time I watched

1:15:19

Interstellar was recently. And then I realized I've

1:15:21

only seen this movie once and I was

1:15:24

forced to watch it for a film class that I took in college.

1:15:26

So like, I didn't even watch it because I wanted to. I watched

1:15:28

it because I had to. And so I remember

1:15:31

when I was watching it, I was super,

1:15:34

super high when I was watching it recently. And

1:15:37

then as I was watching, I told

1:15:39

my sister for some reason I convinced

1:15:41

myself that I thought The

1:15:44

Martian and Interstellar were the same movie.

1:15:47

Because Matt Damon is also an Interstellar. And

1:15:49

then I thought to myself, because I think when I think of,

1:15:52

and if you're wondering, no, I haven't seen The Martian. Okay, I

1:15:54

love this. But I do know the movie poster. And

1:15:56

it's just him with the really zoomed in. Right.

1:16:00

And I was telling my sister, I was so

1:16:02

high watching Interstellar that I was literally thinking I

1:16:04

made up the Martian. I was like, that's

1:16:06

so stupid. I made up the movie poster. I made up

1:16:08

the color. I know it's orange. It's got an orange hue

1:16:11

to it. I literally was telling myself,

1:16:13

I was like, I literally made up the Martian.

1:16:15

Like, that's crazy. You were like,

1:16:17

the mind is so powerful. I invented a

1:16:19

press campaign for this thing. I should write this

1:16:21

down. Yeah. So I don't forget it. And reach

1:16:23

out to Matt Damon as soon as possible. I

1:16:25

need to get someone on the phone immediately. It

1:16:28

was a really confusing time. Because yeah, the Matt

1:16:30

Damon of it all, he wasn't in any of

1:16:32

the ads for Interstellar. And the Martian came out

1:16:34

at the same time. And he plays opposite types

1:16:36

of astronauts. Both astronauts just sort of built from a

1:16:38

different cloth or cut from a different cloth. So it

1:16:40

was very confusing. And I totally see why you went

1:16:43

there with that. I was like, I can't believe I

1:16:45

made up the Martian. And I was just convinced. And

1:16:47

then I was like, I even made up the stupid

1:16:49

title, The Martian. Like, I was telling myself that. And

1:16:51

then my fiance goes, oh, yeah, he's

1:16:53

in the Martian too. And I go out loud. I was

1:16:56

like, how did you know that? And he

1:16:58

goes, no, what? I scared him.

1:17:00

And I go, wait, hold on. And

1:17:02

then I took a couple of minutes. And I go, OK,

1:17:04

I'm fucking stupid. Sorry. I thought I made up. The Martian's

1:17:07

a real movie. For a second, I thought I made up the

1:17:09

Martian. For one

1:17:11

quick minute, I thought I created The Martian.

1:17:13

I wish that you had. Me

1:17:15

too. And who's to say I

1:17:18

couldn't? Female writer. With that, it

1:17:20

could have been huge. I had one of my friends

1:17:22

on who's a creator. And she's super funny

1:17:24

online too. And when she was on, she

1:17:26

told me, I asked her if she got hate online. And she goes,

1:17:28

oh, yeah. But she goes, the worst

1:17:30

hate I've ever gotten is when I said that

1:17:33

I think if I was alive at the same time

1:17:35

as Isaac Newton, I could have beat him to discovering

1:17:38

gravity. And she said,

1:17:40

that's the most visceral hate

1:17:42

I've ever gotten. She's like, the amount

1:17:44

of men that were like, you fucking

1:17:46

stupid bitch. You could never. And

1:17:48

she goes, this is all about Isaac Newton. He's

1:17:51

dead. It's fine. It's fine. You arrived for this

1:17:53

man? Also, it's a joke. That's what I said.

1:17:56

I didn't know he had shooters like that. Isaac

1:17:58

Newton? I'm

1:18:00

just saying if I was alive, who knows? And

1:18:03

by the way, you can't prove that I wouldn't know. So

1:18:06

take my word for it. That's like my favorite thing

1:18:08

to do to men who are like that, is

1:18:11

to say, like, well, I mean, who's to say? I...it's

1:18:15

so powerful to just pose that question. Who's to

1:18:17

say? We'll never know. I, on

1:18:20

Ride, the podcast that I host with, with Benny,

1:18:23

I was saying how men don't have fashion references, and

1:18:25

that's why all men's vintage stores are just like soldier

1:18:27

uniforms. Like,

1:18:30

they just sell, like, waffle tees... It's the salvation

1:18:32

of them. ...and, like, the cargo pants and all

1:18:34

that stuff. It's all, like, clothes

1:18:36

people wore in World War II, that they're

1:18:38

now selling for, like, $300 for a pair of pants. So

1:18:41

I said, men have no fashion references. The comments I got,

1:18:43

what do you call Kanye West, Jacob Elordi,

1:18:45

James Dean? I'm

1:18:47

like, do you think you dress like James Dean? Oh,

1:18:50

oh, I'm talking about most men. Sorry.

1:18:53

Not you. Yeah. Um, I'm talking about... Yeah,

1:18:56

sorry. No, I think we're not talking about the same

1:18:58

thing. Um,

1:19:00

yeah, I guess James Dean is a great fashion

1:19:02

reference for you guys. Good luck with

1:19:04

that. No, James Dean doesn't count, but why aren't you dressing

1:19:06

like that is my question then. Exactly. So

1:19:09

what's stopping you from dressing like James Dean? That's

1:19:13

my question. Just the right moment. Yeah, I guess. If I had

1:19:15

enough time, if I had enough time,

1:19:17

it's the same thing with, like, the

1:19:19

Olympics, right? Um, because I had

1:19:22

Alona Mara on my podcast, too, and, like, she's obviously

1:19:24

an Olympian, and the amount of men

1:19:26

that are like, I mean, I could have if I

1:19:28

want... I could have... Sure.

1:19:31

Like, sure. Time is the reason why

1:19:33

you're not an Olympian. Sure. Right. It's because you're too

1:19:35

busy. That's what it is. Well, that's just

1:19:37

to tell them back. I literally brought

1:19:39

this up today, but Noah

1:19:41

Beck posted that he just watched Django

1:19:44

Unchained. He was like, I finally had

1:19:46

three free hours to watch this. The movie came

1:19:48

out in 2012. What have

1:19:50

you been doing for the last 10-plus years?

1:19:52

That you're like, I just finally had time

1:19:54

to catch this flick. So

1:19:58

time has kept Noah Beck from watching. I

1:20:01

don't even know if you knew how much I'd be I

1:20:03

don't know him at all by the way I just I'm

1:20:05

like, I appreciate this as a piece of art What

1:20:08

have you been up to King? He's been busy

1:20:10

busy. He's creating. That's okay. That's all right. I

1:20:12

get it. I have that's why I

1:20:16

Think that too same thing with men who think they're

1:20:18

funny it's like this isn't funny To

1:20:21

you. Well, I wouldn't expect an unfunny person

1:20:23

to find me funny But like it's

1:20:26

it's okay because I'm not if I was

1:20:28

seeking counsel. I'm not asking you.

1:20:30

That's for fucking sure No, I'm not you're not

1:20:32

my audience. That's what you have to remember. Yeah,

1:20:34

so people saying I'm not funny I'm like sure

1:20:36

whatever I've heard it all before but this Australian

1:20:38

guy commented on my a joke I posted I'm

1:20:41

wearing this like very vintage Versace dress for my

1:20:43

special that's on YouTube and I posted a clip

1:20:45

from it and he goes This is funny, but

1:20:47

I don't know who told her that that dress

1:20:49

looks good on her I guess

1:20:52

he was a divorced husband of the Real

1:20:54

Housewives of Sydney or something But it was

1:20:56

just like oh, so you're gonna actually come

1:20:58

at me for fashion. Yeah, you're really what

1:21:00

you want to talk about That's what you'd like to do

1:21:02

right now. You go to his page It's

1:21:04

like Trump memes and then like

1:21:06

porridge that he cooked nice and

1:21:08

and it says like obviously father But

1:21:11

you know writer blah blah in the bio like

1:21:13

go take care of your kids Where

1:21:15

are you? Do you know where your kids are? Yeah, I

1:21:17

think you have bigger problems Honestly, I think that too when

1:21:19

men call me like fat and ugly, which is very common.

1:21:22

I'm always like well, I mean Beauty

1:21:25

subjective which I've said many times So

1:21:27

like what one person finds beautiful the next

1:21:30

person might not and that's okay and

1:21:32

normal But if good

1:21:34

looks was a race, I know I have one

1:21:36

bitch beat. Yeah, and it's that guy. It's you

1:21:38

Yeah, you're behind me for sure the New York

1:21:40

City Marathon. You're the last person coming in. Mm-hmm

1:21:42

I've some more in the middle. Yeah somewhere in

1:21:44

the middle It's really shocking and

1:21:47

what people will do even on

1:21:49

their personal accounts not burner accounts not

1:21:51

with a different profile picture It

1:21:53

has like their employer their wife is tagged

1:21:55

in the bio their kids are info. I'm

1:21:58

like, are you not embarrassed, right? Why

1:22:00

are you attacking a young woman online? It's

1:22:03

just, I don't know. I've messaged wives before,

1:22:06

and I've sent them what their husband has said to me.

1:22:11

I did actually really recently, I did like a couple weeks ago. I

1:22:13

sent it to someone and I said, Hey,

1:22:15

like you don't know me and you don't

1:22:17

follow me, but this is what your husband

1:22:19

wrote on my pictures, unsolicited

1:22:21

and unprovoked. And I just

1:22:23

feel like you should know what he's doing in his free

1:22:26

time because if my fiancé was doing that, I would want

1:22:28

to know. And I said, do with it what you will.

1:22:31

What did he say? I actually never

1:22:33

get responses, but this time I did. And

1:22:35

she said, I'm so sorry about that. Thank

1:22:37

you so much for telling me. And I

1:22:39

just didn't respond because there's really nothing

1:22:41

more I can say after that. But like, I

1:22:44

just think like even when I've said that before, I've had

1:22:46

men delete it. I would

1:22:48

say like, does your girlfriend know or your wife know that you

1:22:50

do this? Or should I tell her?

1:22:52

That's what I always comment back. Again, I would not

1:22:54

want to be on the receiving end of that for me.

1:22:58

If I got a DM from you that said, hey, did you

1:23:00

know dot, dot, dot, I

1:23:03

would just throw my phone in the Hudson and jump in

1:23:05

after it. Like, I'm done. I'm cooked. I don't want to

1:23:07

know. I don't know. And I don't

1:23:09

want to know. I'm just going to end it right

1:23:11

now. And I've had them deleted immediately and then message

1:23:13

me and say, why would you say that to me?

1:23:15

Why would you do that? Like, my wife doesn't care.

1:23:17

Blah, blah. I go, then why did you delete your

1:23:20

shit? Your wife doesn't care. You're just hiding it now.

1:23:23

And it's almost like we don't need. Like,

1:23:25

we're all having fun. Let's not like you

1:23:27

do such great work with screenshots. I feel

1:23:29

like you you have receipts. You did one

1:23:31

video. I remember about receipts. Yeah. About like,

1:23:33

I don't know if someone commented something negative

1:23:36

or like they were maybe trying to hit

1:23:38

on you or something. I don't know. There

1:23:40

was some thing that happened where you were

1:23:42

like, I have screenshots. Yeah. Of your behavior.

1:23:44

Yeah. Like the receipts

1:23:46

are there. I run from I made a

1:23:48

video like not too long ago, probably a few months ago

1:23:51

when I was still on Twitter. I'm not on Twitter anymore. I

1:23:55

saved screenshots and I used them in

1:23:57

that video. They were two years old. the

1:24:00

day I took them, I screenshot them and I

1:24:02

was like just in case, just

1:24:04

in case. And then there's a, I've talked

1:24:06

about recently, I even did it on Caleb's podcast recently talking

1:24:09

about a guy who I know hates me because

1:24:11

he's a bad person. And can

1:24:13

you tell me after? Yes, I will tell you. I don't think

1:24:15

you'll know who it is, but like, yeah, I'll

1:24:18

tell him because not a lot of people know like who

1:24:20

this guy is, but he hates me and I know that

1:24:22

it's documented and I saved that screenshot too,

1:24:24

which is funny. But

1:24:27

he smells really bad and like

1:24:29

genuinely smells very bad. Like when I say

1:24:31

like, you know, when cats'

1:24:34

asses stink because you're like, they need to get something

1:24:36

out of there. Yeah. Like when

1:24:38

they lift their tail up and you're like, Oh my God, like when they're

1:24:40

on the back of the couch, that's what it smells like.

1:24:42

It's pretty horrifying. And

1:24:45

I told everyone, I'm like, he better

1:24:47

never turn on me. Because you got

1:24:49

your, your ammo is loaded. And

1:24:51

now that I know you stink, it's going to be even

1:24:53

funnier. Because

1:24:55

not everyone would know that. Now I know you stink.

1:24:58

How were you? You were in proximity to him. Yeah,

1:25:00

many times. I've been next to him many times. It's

1:25:02

so strange how he hates me so fucking much and

1:25:04

I know that. And he is with

1:25:07

me at so many things. Like we get invited to the same shit

1:25:09

all the time. He's an influencer that

1:25:11

smells bad. Yeah, girl. That means

1:25:13

he has- Good luck narrowing it down because there's a

1:25:15

million of them, I'm sure. That just means he has

1:25:17

no real friends to me. That's sad. For

1:25:20

real. I thought the same thing. Like does anyone

1:25:22

in your life care about you? Because if I

1:25:24

was walking around with stink lines above my head like

1:25:26

that, I would want someone to

1:25:28

tell me. I find it really odd

1:25:30

when people our age who live in

1:25:32

cities, metropolitan areas, smell. Right. What's

1:25:35

going on? Especially men who are doing

1:25:37

well. Shower. They have a lot of

1:25:39

money. Where's it going? Not to toothpaste. That's

1:25:41

the most shocking thing. When people, I'm like

1:25:43

toothbrushes cost $2. Just

1:25:46

use one. Or even buy, I don't know, buy

1:25:48

a pack of gum. Something. If

1:25:51

you can't brush, please. At the very least, get some

1:25:53

gum. Yeah. I would

1:25:55

be curious, from your perspective, just getting people

1:25:57

that are giving you- or

1:26:00

like just insulting you, I mean, it just rolls off

1:26:02

the back. Like was there a point where you decided

1:26:04

that like I'm not gonna take any of this shit

1:26:06

seriously? No, I haven't taken

1:26:08

it seriously from the day I blew up.

1:26:11

Like the day I say all

1:26:13

the time, like the video that made me go viral

1:26:15

was very specific red flags in men. And

1:26:17

I had very specific red flags in men. So

1:26:19

I had a list behind me of like, I

1:26:22

did a note tap, honestly. And

1:26:24

I did like 15 things on there. And

1:26:26

it was like, if he loves

1:26:29

Tom Brady, not

1:26:31

a Buck's or a Past, just Tom Brady. Just Tom

1:26:33

Brady. If Wolf of Wall Street's his favorite

1:26:35

movie of all time. Like if he thinks there's no movie that's ever

1:26:37

been made that's better than that. If

1:26:39

he wears a backwards hat in the pool. You

1:26:42

really came for them. You know what I mean. It's

1:26:44

like, and so I was very specific. So that's the video

1:26:46

that blew me up. When that happened, obviously I had a

1:26:48

lot of people being like, oh my God, this is so

1:26:50

funny. Then I had a whole bunch of men sending

1:26:54

me a whole bunch of fucking hate. Like just saying the most awful

1:26:56

things I've ever seen, which is at the

1:26:58

time, I think I was like 25 ish, like 25. Yeah,

1:27:02

I wanna say. And I grew

1:27:04

up on the internet to some extent, right?

1:27:06

So like I was there with MySpace and

1:27:09

when YouTube first launched. And so like

1:27:11

YouTubers and all that shit. So I had

1:27:13

never experienced any amount of hate ever. Cause

1:27:15

I had never done anything like that before.

1:27:18

But I do remember like seeing

1:27:20

all of it and laughing. Like I was like, this

1:27:23

is funny. Cause like they're telling me, I'm

1:27:25

ugly and I go and look. And

1:27:27

I said, well

1:27:30

looks isn't something I would bring up if I were you.

1:27:32

Well the call is coming from inside the house. Well it

1:27:34

takes one to know one, doesn't it? A big fuggle on

1:27:36

the internet. There's two of us here, queen.

1:27:38

We're looking in a mirror, twin. Which is

1:27:41

like so funny. So I posted videos and I've

1:27:43

said before, I used to be a lot meaner

1:27:45

like online because nobody knew who I was. So

1:27:47

I wasn't getting flagged. And so

1:27:49

I was saying the meanest shit I

1:27:51

could possibly think of to only

1:27:54

men. It was so funny. Yeah and like

1:27:56

all of those videos are gone now. Like

1:27:58

once I became like someone. they

1:28:01

took all of them down like in one tail.

1:28:03

TikTok did? Yeah, because they were

1:28:05

violating guidelines. Okay, okay. But then,

1:28:07

but those guys can make those videos and not

1:28:09

get them taken down? Yeah, you know what's crazy

1:28:11

is I've heard before that it's not the same

1:28:14

thing when they make awful shit about me because

1:28:16

I'm a public person and they're not. So

1:28:18

that's like seen as like they're allowed to

1:28:20

do that because I'm a public person. But

1:28:23

like me doing it about them is fucked up

1:28:25

and not cool. Well, I feel like they opted

1:28:27

out of privacy when they made the video. Especially

1:28:30

when their first and last names are on all

1:28:32

of their shit. So every

1:28:34

time I'm like, when people are like,

1:28:37

does it ever like actually, no. Because

1:28:40

like, I'm not listening to

1:28:43

an ugly bitch call me ugly. No. No,

1:28:45

I'm not. I'm not even entertaining it. I'm

1:28:47

not even listening. Like I'm so far ahead of

1:28:49

you in the race called life that it doesn't matter

1:28:51

to me. So I'm like, yeah, no, I don't get

1:28:53

my validation from that. Do you get a lot of hate?

1:28:56

I get a lot of hate and people just saying

1:28:58

I'm not funny. Which it's

1:29:00

like, okay, yeah, like you said to you.

1:29:03

That doesn't really bother me because like I know

1:29:05

I'm funny and my audience is, I say this

1:29:07

at the beginning of my special, it's girls and

1:29:09

gay guys in the street men who love us.

1:29:12

So if you don't fall into that, then I don't really care about

1:29:14

making you laugh. In fact, I don't wanna make you laugh because then

1:29:16

I'm probably doing something wrong. But it's a lot

1:29:19

of that just, and

1:29:21

anything political people will comment, obviously,

1:29:23

enraged. Anything about sex, oh, all

1:29:25

female comedians talk about is sex.

1:29:27

Why is that the new thing that they

1:29:29

say as if men are not

1:29:32

doing that in all of their specials? It's

1:29:34

just like a talking point. It's like they just parrot

1:29:36

it back. I think when maybe

1:29:39

as comedy has progressed, back

1:29:44

in the day, maybe women were pigeonholed into talking

1:29:46

more about sex stuff to be able to perform

1:29:48

on the same stage as men because that's something

1:29:50

men would actually laugh at. But what's tough is

1:29:52

like, I know a joke about sex or dating

1:29:55

will get a lot more views and shares because

1:29:57

it's relatable. So it's like those things might not

1:29:59

be my. some artist jokes, but they're the ones

1:30:01

that will get the most eyes. So then you get

1:30:03

followers off that, and then you can post stuff

1:30:05

that's more whatever, like speaking to my voice. Exactly. So

1:30:08

people don't understand that one, commenting is actually good

1:30:10

for me, because then it's gonna show up for

1:30:12

more people. Yeah, she'd tell them. And two, it's

1:30:15

part of the plan. It's like, yeah, I'm getting

1:30:17

more eyes on my profile, to get

1:30:19

more followers to then, but it's hard. It's

1:30:22

that self-fulfilling prophecy of like, well, I have to

1:30:24

post a sex joke, because it's gonna get seen

1:30:26

by more people, but then it might end up

1:30:28

on the wrong side of

1:30:30

Instagram or whatever. And you just kinda,

1:30:32

it is white noise to me, truly. Same. I

1:30:35

have a live audience that are telling me if I'm funny. Nothing

1:30:38

you can type behind your little computer

1:30:40

screen is gonna have me quaking. And

1:30:42

I can confidently say, it's far more

1:30:45

nerve-wracking doing it live. Like,

1:30:48

I can say with conviction now, because I've only done

1:30:50

it once. And I was shaking in my fucking boots,

1:30:52

because I was so nervous, because they will

1:30:54

tell you if they like it or not. Like, that's kind

1:30:56

of the whole point, they're paying you to

1:30:58

entertain them. And a joke bombing hurts a

1:31:00

lot more than like a negative comment. Exactly. A

1:31:03

joke bombing is like, I was so, oh

1:31:06

my gosh, I was so nervous about it. And I feel like, I

1:31:09

feel like too, that's another reason why comedy

1:31:11

is starting to flourish, like you were

1:31:13

saying. It's the, obviously

1:31:15

the marrying of social media with comedy is a

1:31:18

lot of bad, but also good, because then you're

1:31:20

seeing people that you would never otherwise see,

1:31:22

like you were saying. It's a lot harder

1:31:24

to get put in certain rooms, where they are recording

1:31:26

or they'll post clips. Whereas like, the

1:31:29

club scene is where 90% of it's happening. So

1:31:31

when people are able to record and put them

1:31:33

online, then you can see like new

1:31:35

forms of comedy and new comics that don't look like

1:31:38

what we're used to seeing all the time. Like a man in

1:31:40

pajamas. Talking about

1:31:42

how much he hates his fucking wife.

1:31:45

His bitch wife. His bitch wife who

1:31:47

loves Target. Loves Target and he

1:31:50

hates his in-laws too. And I think that's important

1:31:52

to also touch upon. And his wife won't

1:31:54

fuck him. So, but that's funny.

1:31:57

Yeah, he wants to fuck all the time, but she doesn't.

1:31:59

She doesn't want to. Yeah, it's very and

1:32:01

I've I've even made jokes before

1:32:03

saying like when I've talked about Bad

1:32:06

joke writing and I'm like, it's just punching down.

1:32:08

It's the lowest form of comedy. It's also the

1:32:10

lowest hanging fruit It's yeah, anyone can make a

1:32:13

racist joke anyone can make a transphobic joke But

1:32:16

that doesn't make it a good one just

1:32:18

cuz it's easy to see and pluck doesn't

1:32:20

mean it's good No and challenge yourself to

1:32:22

like say something different that's never been said

1:32:24

before hopefully But I think the whole like

1:32:26

the backlash from the Trump MSG rally. I've

1:32:29

just been like kicking my feet with glee

1:32:31

I'm like that really fucking backfired in it. Yeah,

1:32:34

I know you're being funny. It's not funny again

1:32:36

Like it wasn't funny on top of

1:32:38

it being racist. It wasn't funny 50 years ago.

1:32:40

Yeah, by the way a hundred

1:32:43

years ago like it's never funny it the

1:32:45

and I even said I'm the same thing

1:32:47

like That you said I don't

1:32:49

want to make you laugh That's how I feel too

1:32:51

about people like that because I'm like well clearly might

1:32:53

we're not aligned in any way shape or form I

1:32:55

don't want you watching me, and I don't want you

1:32:57

laughing as fuck on top of that But I'm like

1:32:59

if I look around and the only people laughing are

1:33:02

people whose whereabouts on January 6th

1:33:04

are still in question Yeah, I need

1:33:06

to be checked into a hospital something's

1:33:08

wrong. Yeah, there's something's gone terribly wrong Something's gone

1:33:10

terribly wrong, and we need to check on it.

1:33:13

I don't Like Dave

1:33:15

Chappelle is a comedian anymore, and I

1:33:17

think what he's doing to the trans community It

1:33:19

just I don't understand it it baffles me I'm

1:33:22

like so vehemently against it, but when he walked

1:33:24

away from his Comedy Central show He did say

1:33:26

like I was I was looking around the room

1:33:28

when we were doing Chappelle show and the wrong

1:33:30

people were laughing And

1:33:32

I think he just saw that like

1:33:35

maybe the sketches were appealing to the

1:33:37

wrong people and so I I think

1:33:39

like it's tough There's so many comedians that I

1:33:41

once admired who you kind of have to just

1:33:43

like let that go yeah But sometimes they still

1:33:45

made good points. Yeah You know

1:33:48

back in in ancient history not not in present day.

1:33:50

Yeah, which is so disappointing, but yeah It is like

1:33:52

you don't I don't know there's jokes I've told that

1:33:54

I've told once I'm like you know what actually don't

1:33:56

like I don't like that the way that that made

1:33:58

me feel Yeah, and I think as a as a

1:34:00

white woman, I don't really touch on race

1:34:02

that much, or just issues where I feel

1:34:05

like maybe my voice is not a valuable

1:34:08

medium for the conversation. Yeah, and also, like

1:34:10

you said, it's like you need to have

1:34:12

a very good perspective

1:34:15

if you're operating from a very high

1:34:17

place of privilege and you want to do comedy. Because

1:34:20

there are certain lenses that

1:34:22

you, like Chris Fleming is a perfect

1:34:24

example of someone whose lens is so

1:34:26

specific. I could never, in my

1:34:28

wildest dreams, I wish

1:34:30

I could procure that imagery. Or

1:34:33

the way he uses language. Yeah, I watched

1:34:35

a clip he posted recently where he was

1:34:37

talking about how he does have guy friends,

1:34:39

as shocking as that may sound, and he

1:34:42

says, but my guy friends I describe as

1:34:45

men that would have also been burned at the

1:34:47

Salem Witch Trials. I was at that show. Girl,

1:34:50

I was laughing my ass off. And he

1:34:52

was saying, there's one or two men thrown

1:34:54

in there. Yeah, he's like, those are my

1:34:56

friends. And he said, what I'm

1:34:58

even saying, one of my friends,

1:35:00

he talks too softly to his dad,

1:35:02

burned, burned at the stake. He

1:35:05

was like, I dream,

1:35:07

I dream of a perspective like that.

1:35:10

And it's not hurting anyone, it's so

1:35:12

fucking funny, and it's just so specific.

1:35:14

I feel like the greatest

1:35:17

humor is in specificity for me personally.

1:35:19

Which is why when I've made jokes making

1:35:21

fun of dudes, and I've

1:35:23

told people, they're like, how do I come up with funny, mean

1:35:26

things to say to men? I'm like, well

1:35:29

starting points are, you

1:35:31

guys are going for the obvious kills. You're

1:35:34

saying, I bet it's small, or I bet, you know

1:35:36

what I mean? And I do obvious kills too, like

1:35:38

you said. I do have low hanging fruit jokes, high

1:35:41

in hair lines are easy ones. Those are

1:35:43

slam dunks because it hurts their feelings every time. The

1:35:46

minute it doesn't affect them, I'll retire it. The

1:35:48

minute it doesn't affect them, I will retire it. But

1:35:51

I've told them, you gotta get way more

1:35:53

specific. When you tell them, not

1:35:55

that he looks like he has a small dick, but you say something like,

1:35:59

you look like you work at the... the Genius Bar inside the

1:36:01

Best Buy. Yeah. That's funny.

1:36:04

To me. It's hard to hear. Yeah, it's hard to

1:36:06

hear. If I say something to

1:36:08

someone where I'm like, you personally

1:36:11

look like you were really

1:36:13

involved on campus. That's

1:36:17

funny. Mean. And it's funny because I've seen something

1:36:20

that said that, something of that nature, and I've

1:36:22

sent it to Caleb. And

1:36:24

then he messaged me back and said, hey, block

1:36:26

me. Block me, yeah. That's because I clocked him.

1:36:28

And someone is very involved. Some people don't want

1:36:30

to see that in themselves. Wait,

1:36:32

wait. I want to ask you this too. Sorry for

1:36:34

running out of time. No, you're fine. I think I

1:36:37

saw you one time. This was maybe two years ago.

1:36:39

Someone was ripping your videos word for word. Does

1:36:41

that happen? No, that is true. So it's

1:36:44

really hard to be a public creator

1:36:47

because obviously you want to put that stuff out

1:36:49