0:01

This is a head gum podcast.

0:12

Hello and welcome to The Complete

0:14

God to Everything, a podcast about

0:16

everything. I'm one of your hosts

0:18

Tom. I'm Tim. Tim, how are

0:20

you doing this week? I'm feeling

0:22

good. I'm on the precipice of

0:25

an exciting life change. Oh, I

0:27

thought you were, when you were

0:29

like, I'm feeling good, I'm on,

0:31

you're gonna list out a litany

0:33

of illegal and legal drugs. I

0:35

would say this, Tom. This is not

0:38

the time in history to be

0:40

doing illegal drugs. of unknown

0:42

origin. Yes. That's my PSA.

0:44

That, hey, good PSA. Don't do

0:46

illegal drugs. I've been watching a

0:48

lot of the Max original show

0:50

the pit. Oh. Let me tell

0:52

you, some tragedies happen when you,

0:54

when you, when you, even, even

0:56

if you're just a college kid,

0:58

yeah, looking for some adder-all so

1:00

you could stay up and study.

1:03

I mean, I, I, 100% get

1:05

that. There's a bunch of crazy

1:07

stuff out there. You don't want

1:09

to just take whatever. Some college

1:11

kid offers you yeah, and

1:13

that that said Tom especially

1:15

pills I think I do

1:17

want to go on pills,

1:20

but like But like in

1:22

a just like I think Maybe

1:24

if a doctor could prescribe them.

1:26

Yeah, I mean a doctor could

1:28

prescribe. Yeah, if I could convince

1:30

a doctor to prescribe me pills

1:33

I would take. Now do you

1:35

have any preference on what these

1:37

pills do or you don't really?

1:39

You just want pills. I'm one

1:41

of these self-diagnosed ADHD people. Oh

1:43

okay. And then I hear people

1:46

like now that's like that's like

1:48

this is a thing it's like 12 years

1:50

ago when it's like oh it

1:52

turns out gluten was the source

1:54

of all my problems and then

1:56

suddenly everybody's like well I got

1:59

to cut gluten now it's like

2:01

you know. some people do but

2:03

you probably I don't want to

2:05

say you probably don't but like

2:07

you know not everybody does yeah

2:09

I think it's just like I've

2:11

trouble focusing in this time of

2:13

unprecedented distraction and everything in the

2:15

world gearing you towards not being

2:18

able to focus on anything for

2:20

even a god damn second I

2:22

guess I need pills well I

2:24

was gonna say I mean you

2:26

could definitely compare even 20

2:28

years ago, like probably the

2:30

most like focused person nowadays,

2:32

probably like some monk or

2:34

something. Yeah. They went in a time

2:37

machine 20 years ago, people be going,

2:39

hey, hey, hey, over here, pal, to

2:41

the monk, he's playing candy crush. Wow.

2:43

You know, he's still like pretty good,

2:45

he's better than us at keeping

2:47

focus, but you know. Hey, we've

2:49

all got a- He wanted his

2:51

little dopamine hit of candy crush,

2:54

yeah. I don't know, people really

2:56

even play candy crush, I don't

2:58

know like yeah, I do know

3:00

that kind of stuff is silly

3:02

like I kind of stuff also

3:04

like I Recently had not heard

3:07

about a game called

3:09

Monopoly go You know just a

3:11

monopoly app But then it's a phone

3:13

game. Yeah, phone game. But they had

3:15

a commercial and it had, I want,

3:18

I forget who was in it,

3:20

but it was like multiple big

3:22

celebrities. They do this with ad

3:24

commercials. It's like Oscar winners and

3:26

stuff. Yeah. And then the next

3:28

time I ever heard about this

3:31

game, it was a news

3:33

article about like the company

3:35

declared like they've made $4

3:37

billion from Monopoly Go this

3:39

year. It's like I'm Daniel Day Lewis

3:41

for Pizzoengo and I love Pizzoengo.

3:43

You crushed the things. And also

3:45

from There Will be Blood in

3:47

My Left Foot in a bunch

3:49

of other films. Lincoln were I talked

3:52

like this? I never saw Lincoln I

3:54

think I should. Yeah, right? It's a

3:56

Spielberg movie. Yeah. It's gotta be good.

3:58

You know Day it loses always. Good.

4:00

Hey, I like him. But you're

4:02

on the precipice of a life

4:04

change? Oh yeah, Tom. I began

4:06

today assembling. A capsule wardrobe. Oh,

4:08

I thought you were gonna say

4:11

the Avengers. You wish. Yeah, I've

4:13

spent the day assembling the Avengers.

4:15

Yeah, that would have been crazy.

4:17

Yeah, if you were like, I

4:19

got most of them, but not

4:21

all. I don't know. I'm almost

4:23

of them dead at this point.

4:25

In the movies, yes. In real

4:28

life, not most of them are

4:30

dead. Actually, in the movies, two

4:32

of them are dead, I believe.

4:34

Mm-hmm-hmm. Iron man. Mm-hmm. And Captain

4:36

America. Nope, Captain America went back

4:38

into heat. He's old, but alive.

4:40

Yeah. And I think if he,

4:42

when he dies, we'll hear about

4:44

it. On the news? Yeah, on

4:47

the news, the newspaper, they'll say.

4:49

Captain America of Earth 616 died

4:51

today. And the other one is,

4:53

oh, the Black Panther. Black Widow.

4:55

Oh. Black Panther is dead. But

4:57

he wasn't one of the original

4:59

Avengers. He was not one of

5:01

the original Avengers. And I mean,

5:04

that's also a case for the

5:06

actor, unfortunately, past. So they had

5:08

to write him out. Although there

5:10

is a lot of people saying

5:12

that they didn't have to write

5:14

them out that they really should

5:16

have like I mean that's the

5:18

thing it's like the fucking well

5:20

it just says the machine of

5:23

like well shit we gotta make

5:25

a new Black Panther movie this

5:27

year because that's the way everything

5:29

set yeah we're normal Normally they

5:31

would have erasers Tom. Well normally

5:33

they would have been you know

5:35

a normal movie studio even would

5:37

have been like all right like

5:40

let's wait a few years and

5:42

then yeah we'll see how sentiment

5:44

is the beloved man who played

5:46

this character passed away. Yeah just

5:48

like. put a pause on it

5:50

and do another one of the

5:52

Ant Man movies. Yeah, well, and

5:54

it would have been messed up

5:56

if they just immediately recast them.

5:59

And it was kind of like

6:01

after the movie came out and

6:03

everything, maybe even like a year

6:05

after the second movie came out,

6:07

that I saw people, I feel

6:09

like even some of his family

6:11

were like, they can recast, they

6:13

should recast, like don't let this

6:16

character die with him, you know.

6:18

Hey, I don't know, I tend

6:20

to respect people who, uh, uh...

6:22

give their life to a craft

6:24

like like like that made it

6:26

sound like maybe it was acting

6:28

that yeah you didn't die in

6:30

a no no no what I

6:32

mean is he he you know

6:35

he spent his life yeah I

6:37

don't know I'm really putting you

6:39

on the spot making you memorialized

6:41

Chadwick Bozeman right now. I think

6:43

he is a you seem like

6:45

a very good man. He did

6:47

seem like a good man and

6:49

they well and they also in

6:51

the MCU they like We're like,

6:54

oh, well, you know this, he

6:56

secretly had a son who is

6:58

also named Tachala. So eventually there

7:00

will be a black panther named

7:02

Tachala again. Right. And, uh, cool.

7:04

I mean, assuming this whole, the

7:06

Marvel thing doesn't fall apart. Team,

7:08

it's bigger than ever. The movies

7:11

have gotten even better. Everybody loves

7:13

the new ones more than the

7:15

original ones. Yeah, everybody's like, oh,

7:17

this is so cool. I love

7:19

going to the movie theater and

7:21

all the scenes I've already seen.

7:23

a red hulk is preferable to

7:25

me to a green hulk is

7:27

what everybody's saying well not even

7:30

preferable I think it's just like

7:32

that's interesting I've seen a green

7:34

hulk but what are they father

7:36

and son no to brothers actually

7:38

closer to father-in-law and son-in-law than

7:40

anything yeah he it's his girlfriend's

7:42

dad okay that turned into the

7:44

red hulk Bruce Banner's girlfriend not

7:47

Mark Rufalo Mark Rufalo, but he's

7:49

never had a scene with her

7:51

because he used to look like

7:53

Edward Norton Hmm. Yeah, I was

7:55

thinking about Ed Norton from the

7:57

honeymooners a lot today Art Kearney.

7:59

Yeah, that was a good character.

8:01

It's just funny that his name

8:03

was Ed Norton and now we

8:06

got an Ed Norton. We got

8:08

a real life Ed Norton. Yeah,

8:10

which one do you prefer? Aricarni.

8:12

I like Edward Norton. I like

8:14

him in things. He seems probably

8:16

like an insufferable person to like

8:18

spend time. You know what? He

8:20

seems better nowadays. Yeah, I could

8:23

see that, you know, he may

8:25

be mellowed out with age. I

8:27

mean, he's also like been lucky

8:29

enough to work with a lot

8:31

of good people. And I think

8:33

hasn't work, like I think he

8:35

probably says no to a lot

8:37

of stuff, you know, like you

8:39

never see him in like a

8:42

cheap thing. I would like to

8:44

live a life where somebody's like,

8:46

do you want to work? And

8:48

I go, no, I don't have

8:50

to. No, I don't have to.

8:52

Thank you. I'll wait until something

8:54

that pays more and is more

8:56

fun. Yeah, I want to do

8:59

something that's fun. And I'll make,

9:01

you know, a lot of money

9:03

doing it. Yeah. So I'm not

9:05

going to be in your like,

9:07

like John Wick rip-off that seems

9:09

to get. Or anything. If it's

9:11

like, hey, Tim, do you want

9:13

to like. you know, to drive

9:15

a truck. No, I don't want

9:18

to. And I don't need to.

9:20

Right. Like, I would like that.

9:22

Yeah, but what, Edward Nordens thing

9:24

is probably like, do I get

9:26

to be twee in it? Right.

9:28

I don't know. He's in all

9:30

those West Anderson movies. I mean,

9:32

I won't necessarily mean he'll be

9:35

in it, but he'll think about

9:37

it if he gets to be

9:39

twee in it. I don't like

9:41

this characterization of West Anderson. Yeah.

9:43

He's misunderstood. Uh-huh. He doesn't just

9:45

like symmetry Tom in pastel. Well

9:47

didn't his last movie do like

9:49

better than any movies ever had?

9:51

asteroid city yeah yeah I just

9:54

got the way back into asteroid

9:56

city I think that way back

9:58

into it I watched it again

10:00

and I was just like man

10:02

this movie is really good I

10:04

just been thinking about it a

10:06

lot I remember I watched it

10:08

and I liked it I liked

10:10

it a lot more than his

10:13

recent stuff like I like that

10:15

it was like if you're gonna

10:17

do the West Anderson like aesthetic

10:19

like yeah go all the way

10:21

make it's Cutsie, that movie is

10:23

about existential dread and how it's

10:25

all encompassing. Yeah, well no, I'm

10:27

not saying Cutesie, I'm saying more

10:30

like the production design. Like I

10:32

thought everything looked like everything was

10:34

built, right? Like everything was set.

10:36

Yeah. So it looked really cool.

10:38

Yeah. So it looked really cool.

10:40

Yeah. Do you know what a

10:42

capsule wardrobe is, Tom? No, like

10:44

a time capsule like you leave

10:46

it and then somebody digs it

10:49

up a hundred years from now

10:51

and they go... I dug up

10:53

a timehead bell bottoms, beads. No,

10:55

it's this thing where they're just

10:57

like, tell me, tell me your

10:59

thoughts on this. I'm gonna have,

11:01

I think I know what this

11:03

is that I have thoughts. Here's

11:06

what a capsule wardrobe is. It's,

11:08

you know, it's a limited amount

11:10

of clothes. Right, and it's like,

11:12

you know, a set number of

11:14

shirts, pants, shoes, whatever. But the

11:16

thing is, they all have them

11:18

mix and match. All of it

11:20

goes with each other. And I'm

11:22

just like, well, I've been wearing

11:25

a cap so wardrobe my whole

11:27

life. That was going to be

11:29

my point. That is going to

11:31

be like, oh, well, I mean,

11:33

any shirt technically can be worn

11:35

with jeans. So there we go.

11:37

Yeah. Any shirt I buy goes

11:39

with any of the pants I

11:42

wear and vice versa. Tom I've

11:44

gone these fashion plugs. And they're

11:46

like in the advice that they

11:48

give. Look for more twee stuff

11:50

probably. There has a bit of

11:52

less address they will be. I

11:54

watched the most reason one again,

11:56

but I still can't get enough.

11:58

I just. to like, look at

12:01

tweed jackets. No, I want to

12:03

have like the same clothes, especially

12:05

in this era of like, nobody

12:07

gets dressed up for anything except

12:09

for a wedding in a funeral

12:11

or a funeral. Yeah. Well, and

12:13

I just want to wear the

12:15

same clothes all the time everywhere

12:18

I go. Well, I mean, I

12:20

already talked about how mad at

12:22

was it the magic show that

12:24

there were some people that weren't

12:26

wearing jackets, which they said you

12:28

had to wear. But you ever

12:30

noticed this guy, Maybe a couple

12:32

of years ago, I had like

12:34

three weddings in a row. These

12:37

three different women all lined up,

12:39

you know. Oh, you were, you

12:41

were, you were, the groom and

12:43

all of these. Yeah, they're all

12:45

plump as Christmas hands with money.

12:47

Oh, I see. Yeah, I was

12:49

going to take all their money.

12:51

No, I went to like three

12:53

people, other people's weddings. Yeah, I

12:56

think that's what we all see.

12:58

Three weekends in a row. But

13:00

you ever see this guy at

13:02

a wedding too? This guy's usually

13:04

like at least late 50s, but

13:06

usually probably like 60s, at a

13:08

wedding just wearing a polo shirt.

13:10

Oh my god, I see that

13:13

guy all the god damn time.

13:15

I saw him at every wedding.

13:17

It's like, what are you doing,

13:19

man? Wear something nicer than that.

13:21

You don't get kicked out. No,

13:23

and it's bullshit. Put on a

13:25

button down shirt. you must have

13:27

a button down shirt. And sometimes

13:29

I see these guys with their

13:32

wives and like their wives are

13:34

like dressed up. And I think

13:36

like, are they lumpless Christmas ends

13:38

with money? Yeah, Tim, because then

13:40

I know they that that woman's

13:42

got a husband. She surely told

13:44

her husband you can't wear that

13:46

to a wedding, at least like

13:49

put a jacket or a button

13:51

down shirt on you and her.

13:53

So then I know I can

13:55

swoop in. Yeah. And did you

13:57

at all these weddings? I did

13:59

Jim. That's why I was at

14:01

the wedding is I was looking

14:03

for polar shirt guys. I never

14:05

get those guys because it's just

14:08

like it. It's more trouble. To

14:10

put on a polo shirt? No,

14:12

I mean it's easier to put

14:14

on a polo shirt. No, you're

14:16

getting more easier than a t-shirt?

14:18

You got a you got a

14:20

button a few buttons. What are

14:22

you talking? You don't wear a

14:25

t-shirt. You can still get a

14:27

button up the whole and you're

14:29

getting button up shirts mixed up

14:31

with button down. Oh, I see.

14:33

I see. Uh-huh. Button up is

14:35

you are... Putting buttons on it.

14:37

Yeah, you're buttoning up. This is

14:39

what I've learned on the fashion

14:41

blogs, Tom. Yeah. Boy, I wanted

14:44

to smack you when you were

14:46

correcting me there. I know, but

14:48

you know, it's... And like, look,

14:50

granted, I'm not wearing anything from

14:52

the capsule wardrobe yet. Yeah. I

14:54

just started. We're both wearing basically

14:56

identical clothes. As we have been

14:58

for the last 20 years. Yeah.

15:01

But you know, things are about

15:03

to get different. Wow. But also,

15:05

all the blogs say like, all

15:07

right, this is the capsule wardrobe

15:09

that's going to be like classic

15:11

for you forever. And it's like,

15:13

stick to three colors. Yeah, black,

15:15

gray, and white. Yeah. Yeah. And

15:17

navy blue. So like, so black,

15:20

gray, navy, blue, and then you

15:22

throw white in there. And it's

15:24

like, cool. All my favorite colors

15:26

to wear. This is great. So

15:28

I'm. Let out and bought a

15:30

bunch of, I bought, you know

15:32

what I bought today? What's that?

15:34

Quality t-shirts. Like under shirts or

15:36

t-shirts? No, t-shirts made of like...

15:39

you know not novelty t-shirt fabric.

15:41

That's the fabric t-shirts or maybe

15:43

what you bought something else Tim

15:45

you want to get these good

15:47

t-shirt stuff. A good t-shirt is

15:49

free. A good t-shirt is free.

15:51

A good t-shirt is free. A

15:53

good t-shirt is free. Wait until

15:56

you see this. Oh is this

15:58

one of those shirts advertised online

16:00

of like do you? and I

16:02

had to sign up for the

16:04

app to get $5 off, but

16:06

then I paid $14.99 to the

16:08

1999. Wow, what a deal. It

16:10

was just a solid color t-shirt?

16:12

Yeah, gray? Uh-huh. Navy blue. Then

16:15

I have a black one. Yeah,

16:17

you can't get the white one.

16:19

You get pit stains in the

16:21

second. I'm not gonna do any

16:23

of the white ones. Too much.

16:25

Yeah, I'll sweat all over it.

16:27

Yeah, you're you're you're you're sweating

16:29

profusely now when I mention

16:31

that. I'm very nervous talking

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17:52

in the episode description. Tim

17:54

this week we're talking about

17:56

house plants. House plants. For

17:58

the house. For the house.

18:00

So we're an apartment. Or

18:03

an apartment, but not. Why

18:05

don't they call them home

18:07

plants? That way they're not

18:09

discriminating against people like me

18:11

who don't live in a

18:13

house. I feel persecuted at

18:15

all moments. All day every

18:17

day. They should change the

18:20

way everything is. For the

18:22

way I live my life.

18:24

Yeah. I think it's just

18:26

meant to be like their

18:28

plants that can thrive inside

18:30

of a house and they

18:32

can't necessarily make any guarantees

18:34

about an apartment. Right. Okay,

18:37

that's all it is. Do

18:39

you remember, we used to

18:41

have me and you when

18:43

we were roommates at one

18:45

point, we had just plants,

18:47

outside plants, because we had

18:49

a backyard. Oh yeah, I

18:51

remember that. And do you

18:53

remember the day I bought

18:56

like the cheapest weed wacker

18:58

I could find? Yeah, I

19:00

do. because we had so

19:02

we I feel like we

19:04

got tricked on that apartment

19:06

kind of because we saw

19:08

the place were like great

19:10

a big empty backyard fantastic

19:13

and then we went to

19:15

England to do shows probably

19:17

it was probably like Ireland

19:19

of Scotland too. We were

19:21

gone for a while I

19:23

remember not a while but

19:25

like a week at least.

19:27

England and Ireland and Scotland

19:30

are all the same place

19:32

right Tom? I'll never

19:34

get this. People from those places

19:36

do not like that. I think

19:38

it's charming. To mix all around.

19:40

I'm really alone and feeling that

19:42

it's charming. That's why we had

19:45

to stop going to some of

19:47

these countries. Yeah, sorry everybody. I

19:49

was just kidding. I know they're

19:51

different places. I've been to all

19:53

of them. Yeah, multiple times. Yeah.

19:55

But we went to all them.

19:58

the time so we went to

20:00

all them and we came back

20:02

and there was like a rainforest

20:04

in our backyard. Right. All the,

20:06

there had been a lot of

20:08

rain and all the plants grew

20:11

and I had to go by.

20:13

And you thought we got like

20:15

the landlord was somehow, you said

20:17

you felt like we got hoodwinked?

20:19

Yeah, I think they put a

20:21

bunch of seeds back there in

20:24

between when we, or maybe a

20:26

bunch of seeds had fallen earlier

20:28

in the day. I think we

20:30

saw that it was overgrown. But

20:32

then it was like crazy overgrown

20:34

by the time we got it.

20:37

It just happens. Yeah, but I

20:39

got that weed whacker. Whack the

20:41

hell out of those weeds? Hey,

20:43

life is what happens when you're

20:45

making other plants, Tom. Yeah. It

20:47

was a lot of work, I

20:49

remember. But it was rewarding. Killing

20:52

all those plants? Yeah. Those weren't

20:54

house plants. No. But you don't

20:56

know, maybe some of them could

20:58

have been. But you know, maybe

21:00

some of them could have been.

21:02

But they were not in the

21:05

house, so they're not a house

21:07

plant. No, but I think a

21:09

house plant refers to specific varieties

21:11

of plants. Which ones? Oh, I

21:13

have a list of the top

21:15

five house plants, if you'd like

21:18

to start there. Oh, great. Tim?

21:20

Well, I was trying to call

21:22

your bluff. You acted like you

21:24

knew something and I was like,

21:26

he doesn't know something. I know

21:28

something. You didn't know it, but

21:31

you had it written down. The

21:33

number one house plan months. This

21:35

monster. Yeah. A.K.A. the Swiss cheese

21:37

plant. What? Yeah. This is the

21:39

number one? I don't know. It's

21:41

the number one on this list

21:44

I found. Who keeps track of

21:46

like who? Like how many houseplants

21:48

are getting bought? I don't know,

21:50

probably the people that sell houseplants.

21:52

Yeah, but like individual stores, sure,

21:54

they may know, but not everybody.

21:57

I don't know, maybe when you're

21:59

putting together a list, you survey

22:01

those people. Yeah, but people can

22:03

make things. up they could lie.

22:05

That's probably what they're doing. Everybody

22:07

else off the scent. The Swiss

22:09

cheese plants prefer perforated leaves aren't

22:12

just decorative. They evolved in Central

22:14

American rainforest to allow sunlight to

22:16

reach a lower foliage while minimizing

22:18

hurricane damage. There's no hurricanes in

22:20

my house? While... Tim the despite

22:22

his delicate appearance at 2024 study

22:25

documented a monstera surviving 47 days

22:27

without water by recycling humidity from

22:29

its own Transpiration Are we gonna

22:31

get into like plant stuff that

22:33

we're gonna have to remember from

22:35

biology? I don't know I was

22:38

not good at biology This is

22:40

like the human equivalent of a

22:42

sting or like drinking your own

22:44

piss Yeah, essentially. Yeah, it just

22:46

kept drinking that piss still I

22:48

guess it died or maybe 47

22:51

days. They were like, no, enough,

22:53

enough, it's sick. We gotta give

22:55

it more water. It's very unprofessional

22:57

of that botanist to cover. It

22:59

perverse, just making a jerk its

23:01

own piss like that all the

23:04

time. But I think that that's

23:06

what defines a house plan, that

23:08

it's a plant that is like

23:10

hard to kill. The most popular

23:12

house plants are hard to kill.

23:14

Right. Tim how may through neglect

23:17

through neglect? Yeah, anything is easy

23:19

to kill any plant. Yeah, not

23:21

anything Well, maybe not a well,

23:23

maybe you've never seen a show

23:25

called a movie called hard to

23:27

kill No, I meant any plant.

23:29

Oh any plant not any man

23:32

Some men are hard to kill

23:34

and women try killing a redwood

23:36

tree Tim I bet you couldn't

23:38

do it. I bet you couldn't

23:40

do it easily though If you

23:42

gave me three days I could

23:45

kill it. How would you do

23:47

it in three days? Burn it.

23:49

Burn it? I don't think you'd

23:51

be able to get it to

23:53

catch. I would drill holes in

23:55

it. Okay. I cut a big

23:58

hole out of the... those drilled

24:00

holes. Uh-huh. And put some, you

24:02

know, gasoline and lighter fluid in

24:04

there. Oh, I was hoping you're

24:06

gonna say dynamite. Oh, it also

24:08

puts some dynamite. Just put some

24:11

dynamite. We'll take care of it.

24:13

Yeah. I think what you're proposing.

24:15

I wouldn't. I wouldn't. I wouldn't

24:17

do it. Yeah. But if I

24:19

had to. If it was a

24:21

life or death situation. If it

24:24

was either me or the tree.

24:26

Right. You're either me or the

24:28

tree or the tree. Um, yeah,

24:30

that wouldn't work. Remains to be

24:32

seen. No, the gas, all right,

24:34

well, we'll try. We're going, we're

24:37

gonna go the, uh, the Squea

24:39

National Forest and figure out once

24:41

and for all. When you said

24:43

the Redwood, I forgot how big

24:45

Redwood. trees can be. Have you

24:47

ever seen one in real life?

24:49

Yeah! IRL up close. Yeah, they're

24:52

huge. They're huge. I drove a

24:54

car through one of them. Really?

24:56

Yeah. And you want, and you

24:58

think just putting some gasoline in

25:00

a hole is going to take

25:02

care of it. You can't even

25:05

kill them with a car. Drove

25:07

a car through it. And it

25:09

was. Or you walked through it.

25:11

I don't remember. I've seen pictures

25:13

of what you're talking about. Yeah.

25:15

But the mighty redwood is what

25:18

I'm talking about not a house

25:20

plant by the way No, in

25:22

fact, so we should go to

25:24

jail for talking about it on

25:26

this episode It's considered cruel to

25:28

keep them in a house. I've

25:31

read Oh man, we're not even

25:33

into bonsai trees bonsai. Bonsai? Well,

25:35

you're American Tim. I say bonsai

25:37

your Japanese I'm turning Japanese Is

25:39

that song okay still? I don't

25:41

think so, no. That's why I

25:44

grumbled after you said. I feel

25:46

like bonsai trees were a big

25:48

thing. I guess it was because

25:50

of a karate kid. I don't

25:52

think it was because of karate

25:54

kid. That's where you learned about

25:57

it as a child. Yeah, and

25:59

I feel like I don't hear

26:01

about him as much anymore. I

26:03

feel like, I- Because you don't

26:05

watch the karate kid all that

26:07

often. Yeah, but I feel like-

26:09

I don't know if you do.

26:12

People watch that uh, Cobra Kai

26:14

show. People love that Cobra Kai

26:16

show. And then at the movie

26:18

theater, they had a trailer for

26:20

a new karate kid that has-

26:22

Jayden Smith that came out. No,

26:25

it doesn't have him, but has

26:27

Jackie Chan, who plays his mentor.

26:29

Oh, right. But with the other,

26:31

um, karate kid guys. Can I

26:33

say something? Can I say something

26:35

controversial? Oh no, is it going

26:38

to be, you don't like Jayden

26:40

Smith, you don't think he's very

26:42

talented? No, I mean, no, I

26:44

would never say that about him.

26:46

I don't think Jackie Chan should

26:48

be in movies anymore. too old

26:51

i just want to see him

26:53

yeah he's not he's not bringing

26:55

much to the table yeah and

26:57

i understand because he's older yeah

26:59

and like look you can i

27:01

don't want to say that but

27:04

it's also it just makes me

27:06

sad to be like oh just

27:08

do something like it's like if

27:10

you tried that it might kill

27:12

you yeah i mean he can

27:14

still do 90% of anything physical

27:17

better than i can and ever

27:19

have been able to do. I

27:21

don't know. He's got a lot

27:23

of injuries at this point. I

27:25

think there probably are certain ways

27:27

he can't bend anymore. Well, I

27:29

don't know. I think we'll have

27:32

to bend him ourselves. But I

27:34

agree with you. Like, I kind

27:36

of feel like... People shouldn't get

27:38

old. And if they do get

27:40

old... they should hide themselves from

27:42

me. Well, I feel like, I

27:45

mean, this is 100% a legit

27:47

thing that like a lot of

27:49

actresses when they get older, it's

27:51

like, ah, there aren't parts for

27:53

you anymore because you're not good

27:55

looking. I don't like where this

27:58

is going. No, but I was

28:00

going to say, because you're not

28:02

good looking. That's not hard of

28:04

that because you got older. Okay,

28:06

they don't write parts for women

28:08

over the age of, what do

28:11

they say, 40? It's really kind

28:13

of like 36, kind of like

28:15

36. Yeah. Yeah. those roles for

28:17

36 year olds are like grandmothers.

28:19

Yeah, you're going to be like,

28:21

I don't know. You're 36, you're

28:24

gonna be Tom Holland's mom. You're

28:26

gonna be Jack Lemon's girlfriend. They

28:28

don't put Jack Lemon in movies

28:30

anymore. They do. But I feel

28:32

like sometimes I hear people complain

28:34

about like. Like, ah, like the

28:37

parts went away when my looks

28:39

went away. And it's people that

28:41

it's like, oh, yeah, you didn't

28:43

have any other talent like that.

28:45

No, Tom, gee, I was right.

28:47

No, because there's some people that

28:49

it's like completely disagree with all

28:52

they do is, is like, rely

28:54

on their looks. And it's like,

28:56

you should have been, you know,

28:58

cultivating other, you know, give us

29:00

a little, uh, I don't know

29:02

comedy a little, a little, a

29:05

little singing something. Maybe the parts

29:07

weren't there for to show to

29:09

show off. I'm not discounting that.

29:11

I'm not saying that this is

29:13

the case with all people. I'm

29:15

saying once in a while I

29:18

hear somebody say something like that

29:20

and I'm going to regret saying

29:22

this. Name one name. No, I'm

29:24

not going to name a name.

29:26

I don't and I can't remember

29:28

specific things. Maybe actresses is unfair.

29:31

Name one actress in your opinion

29:33

that aged out of roles But

29:35

didn't deserve roles because she wasn't

29:37

talented. She only had roles because

29:39

she was pretty. No, I bet

29:41

a lot of those people aren't

29:44

working nowadays Yeah, none of the

29:46

point is none of them are

29:48

yeah, well, but I'm saying I

29:50

was gonna correct myself and say

29:52

maybe it's not fair to say

29:54

that bad actresses But I feel

29:57

like I've heard models say that

29:59

that they're like Like and then

30:01

I turned 35 and they threw

30:03

me away and it's like right

30:05

what do you think happened to

30:07

a 35 year old before you?

30:09

Yeah, like that's the way this

30:12

disgusting industry works. It's not right.

30:14

It's not fair, but like that's

30:16

but am I still tuning into

30:18

the Victoria Secret Fashion Show every

30:20

year. You bet your ass. Yeah.

30:22

I'll, I upgrade the cable internet

30:25

just to watch that. I don't

30:27

know what that means. At a

30:29

higher bit rate. Because now I

30:31

feel like when that was a

30:33

thing it was like, a lot

30:35

of people said I'd like dial

30:38

up modems. It was like, oh

30:40

look at this. Put it on

30:42

CBS. But I think before that

30:44

they streamed it online. I just

30:46

remember one year it's streaming online.

30:48

People were like, ha ha ha.

30:51

It was streaming out like, you

30:53

know, a hundred pixels wide by

30:55

a hundred pixels. So again, this

30:57

is very specific to you and

30:59

your experiences. You think they said

31:01

like, you never, of course we

31:04

know about bonsai trees because of

31:06

live stream in 1997. No, I

31:08

was getting, thank you for bringing

31:10

bonsai trees up again. Because I

31:12

was going to say, I think

31:14

what it is is that like

31:17

malls during the 90s led me

31:19

to believe like bonsai trees would

31:21

be something of a lot more

31:23

people keep in their homes. Yeah,

31:25

I almost I almost bought one

31:27

fairly recently. Really? Yeah. I've always

31:29

wanted to have one. They seem

31:32

cool as hell. Yeah. But you'd

31:34

always see they'd had the kiosk.

31:36

Some malls would have straight up

31:38

bonsai tree stores. You could go

31:40

inside. And they'd have so many

31:42

cool bonsai trees and a bunch

31:45

of signs saying, don't touch the

31:47

trees. And you could buy them.

31:49

I'm shocked. I worked in them

31:51

all for years. I'm shocked. I

31:53

never. on my way at home

31:55

for the night when ah what

31:58

the hell I'm gonna pick up

32:00

a bonsai tree I was the

32:02

reason I didn't get us like

32:04

I'm gonna screw this up like

32:06

I'm gonna get like real like

32:08

oh I know what I'll do

32:11

because you have I prune it

32:13

you know with a little shears

32:15

yeah which is supposed to be

32:17

like meditative in a way yeah

32:19

yeah I like it's supposed to

32:21

be meditative but then when I

32:24

like see video people doing that

32:26

it's like well how long could

32:28

that possibly take and how often

32:30

could you possibly have to do

32:32

that? I mean, I don't think

32:34

you know the answer to that.

32:37

Yeah, should ask the guy, run

32:39

the bonsai kiosk. No, he'll, he'll,

32:41

he'll tell you what you want

32:43

to hear. Oh, it's easy. Man,

32:45

I bet, I'm thinking about those

32:47

guys too. All the guys around

32:49

the kiosk they were real shady

32:52

guys real shady characters the bonsai

32:54

tree kiosks no mostly there mostly

32:56

there was a a booth selling

32:58

like lotion and they were very

33:00

aggressive they're trying to put the

33:02

lotion on you yeah yeah and

33:05

they would come up to you

33:07

like 20 feet away from the

33:09

kiosk you would not have any

33:11

idea they were associated with the

33:13

kiosk and they'd be like oh

33:15

my god can I show you

33:18

something you'd be like huh oh

33:20

well I like I like to

33:22

see things. Oh my god. What

33:24

is there an emergency? Yeah, and

33:26

next thing you know you're buying

33:28

20 dollars worth of lotion just

33:31

to get out of there. Can

33:33

I postulate something? Yeah, everybody's like

33:35

smartphones. They cause the downfall of

33:37

our society. Yeah. I don't know

33:39

if that's it. I think it's

33:41

smartphone cases. Okay. has just led

33:44

to like the junkification of society.

33:46

Because there are so many junkie

33:48

cases? It's just like, I think

33:50

of mall kiosks. I just think

33:52

of like stores, like kiosks that

33:54

just sell like cell phone cases.

33:57

Yeah. Just that whole like economy

33:59

of like crappy accessories for cell

34:01

phones. It's just like, that's what

34:03

fucking. life is now. Yeah, it's

34:05

just a bunch of like seven

34:07

cents of plastic to make and

34:09

they've got a million of them

34:12

in every color and shape and

34:14

style and everybody of all ages

34:16

buys them. Yeah, but also it's

34:18

like these things are so cheap

34:20

that if we have to throw

34:22

ten out for every one. we

34:25

sell that's fine the margins are

34:27

there and that's why they're like

34:29

cheap and junkie yeah stinks yeah

34:31

that's why all the malls closed

34:33

because it's depressing buying it it

34:35

is especially you walk by like

34:38

one of those places with cell

34:40

phone cases and like the cases

34:42

they've got out are for like

34:44

iPhone five and you're like oh

34:46

god there's like such all this

34:48

shit's like old too yeah and

34:51

it's just like also something that

34:53

like should just come with the

34:55

phone And like the manufacturer should

34:57

just be like, hey, these are

34:59

so cheap and like when that's,

35:01

you know, when that is no

35:04

longer useful, like come in and

35:06

we'll give you a free new

35:08

one because it gets a shit,

35:10

right? There's a lot of companies

35:12

that aren't Apple and Samsung actually

35:14

do give you a case. Well,

35:17

I think too, if you get

35:19

like some, you know, random manufacturers

35:21

phone, you can't reliably. find a

35:23

case for it at least not

35:25

like early days especially I'm sure

35:27

yeah but like I see unboxings

35:29

for like Chinese high-end new phones

35:32

and it's like and look it

35:34

like they're taking everything out and

35:36

these ones come with a case

35:38

and it's like oh yeah because

35:40

that's also probably like a weird

35:42

hard-defined phone makes a lot of

35:45

sense anyway house plants anyway house

35:47

plants I talked about the monstera

35:49

deliciosa. Tim how many house plants

35:51

do you have? Uh, let's see,

35:53

I got one, two, three, four,

35:55

between either five or six, I

35:58

think. Oh, okay. In various windows

36:00

throughout my apartment, and one up

36:02

on a shelf that does not

36:04

get much less. In various windows,

36:06

so sometimes it's like, all right,

36:08

this plant's out, new plan in

36:11

windows of time, I'm assuming you

36:13

mean? No, physical windows, uh, physical

36:15

plants love that. You wouldn't think

36:17

it Tom but my apartment gets

36:19

some pretty good light. No I've

36:21

seen, yeah your apartment gets pretty

36:24

good light. Is it like... South

36:26

facing or something? Is that why?

36:28

East? East? Yeah, that's where the

36:30

sun rises. East and South. Yeah,

36:32

Southeast. Yeah, I think my apartment

36:34

is facing northwest and I don't

36:37

get anything. I live in the

36:39

darkness. I asked my wife how

36:41

many plants we have, which felt

36:43

like doing like a book report,

36:45

like a school report. It's like.

36:47

You remember those reports where you

36:49

had to like interview your mom

36:52

about something? That's exactly what I

36:54

felt like. I was like, oh,

36:56

me and Timor doing a project

36:58

about houseplants this week. How many

37:00

houseplants do we have? And do

37:02

you like them? Oh, what do

37:05

you have to do to take

37:07

care of them? She should be,

37:09

you should be doing this episode

37:11

without me. Well, I can be

37:13

taking a nap on the couch

37:15

right now. Yeah, it'd be going

37:18

over my head, you know, all

37:20

this plan talk. The number of.

37:22

House plants we have in our

37:24

apartment Tim has been estimated to

37:26

me 15 to 20. Okay. We

37:28

have a lot of plants. Yeah,

37:31

it also occurs to me. Mm-hmm.

37:33

You could do one walk around

37:35

your apartment. I'm not putting that

37:37

on Laura. I think that's if

37:39

you wanted to know that you

37:41

could have taken Probably what a

37:44

minute and 15 seconds and done

37:46

that. Yeah, but there are like

37:48

a lot of like I'm looking

37:50

like that plant there like that's

37:52

a little guy that might have

37:54

snuck past me. Well you're seeing

37:57

it now. Yeah, I guess I

37:59

could have just kept my eyes

38:01

out. I wish I had because

38:03

I'm curious how accurate the count

38:05

was. This is when I wish

38:07

we had wireless handheld mics. Right.

38:09

So we could just go do

38:12

it. Yeah, because that boy, imagine

38:14

how good a radio that would

38:16

make. Two men walking around counting

38:18

plants. Well, not as good as

38:20

two men talking about potentially doing.

38:22

that. Yeah we've got a lot

38:25

of plants. She rescues a lot

38:27

of plants. Right. Like the clutches

38:29

of the evil people. She breaks

38:31

into a lot of places and

38:33

frees plants that she says are

38:35

being cared for. She's like that

38:38

botanists that water that plant after

38:40

47 days. Yeah. Or like a

38:42

like a proto poison ivy that

38:44

cares more about plants than people.

38:46

Do you think your wife cares

38:48

more about plants than you? Uh,

38:51

do you think your wife cares

38:53

more about your dog? Yes. Okay.

38:55

And that's fine. That's understandable. But

38:57

she, like I've mentioned before in

38:59

our apartment building, people frequently leave

39:01

things that they don't want, but

39:04

that are like still... decent in

39:06

the lobby and people leave plants

39:08

down there a lot that that's

39:10

where your wife found you right

39:12

yeah exactly unwanted but decent to

39:14

fix her upper so she's nurse

39:17

like multiple plants like back to

39:19

health that people have given away

39:21

presumably because they just couldn't take

39:23

care of them but like we

39:25

have a like a freaking tree

39:27

in our apartment right now and

39:29

I don't know if this thing's

39:32

actively dying or not. She's one

39:34

of the few people in New

39:36

York that is that I've encountered

39:38

that's capable of keeping house plants

39:40

alive. Yeah oh yeah that's the

39:42

thing like she can even nurse

39:45

them back yeah from from the

39:47

brink of death. Not all the

39:49

time. Sometimes they're too far gone,

39:51

but for the most part. In

39:53

our home, like, they just die

39:55

and recycle it. Yeah, well, she's

39:58

got like, Tim, there's like a

40:00

bag of soil in that closet

40:02

behind you and, you know, she'll

40:04

like lay out tarps and resoil

40:06

things. That's what really bothers me.

40:08

Having a bag of soil in

40:11

my apartment. Oh, so you do

40:13

have a bag, it's not natural.

40:15

I'm bringing dirt into, like, why,

40:17

why, why, we're trying to keep

40:19

dirt out of here? Yeah, exactly.

40:21

Yeah. Oh, I gotta take my

40:24

shoes off, but you're allowed to

40:26

bring in a whole bag of

40:28

fucking dirt? Yeah, sometimes when she's

40:30

like replanting, I mean, she cleans

40:32

it all up, of course, but

40:34

like, dirt gets everywhere, and it's

40:37

like, oh boy. You know this

40:39

this dirt was happy outside before.

40:41

Do you like having plants in

40:43

your apartment? Yeah, I didn't think

40:45

it made much of a difference.

40:47

Yeah, but there was a you

40:49

know, there was a little bit

40:52

of a period right after our

40:54

child was born and all of

40:56

our plants died because we were

40:58

focused on keeping a child alive.

41:00

It's like, do we not replace

41:02

them? It's like, it's kind of

41:05

like depressing with that. It's nice.

41:07

It's so nice having something living

41:09

and green and thriving. That's what,

41:11

like I never had plants in

41:13

my apartment until my wife moved

41:15

in here. And like I give

41:18

her shit for it, for like

41:20

how many plants and all that,

41:22

but I genuinely do like it.

41:24

It genuinely does. And now that-

41:26

Well maybe you should be nicer

41:28

to your wife though. Like in

41:31

general. Not even about the plants,

41:33

Tom. Tim, they say, the first

41:35

year marriage. You gotta grill them,

41:37

you gotta keep it, uh, you

41:39

know, you gotta set the, you

41:41

gotta set the, yeah, you gotta

41:44

set the expectations. You gotta make

41:46

things as bad as they could

41:48

possibly be so that people know,

41:50

okay. It's easy to pull back

41:52

from that at that point. Exactly,

41:54

but amping up 20 years from

41:57

now or something, that's gonna be

41:59

tricky. Yeah, so I like having

42:01

all the plants around and now

42:03

I do notice when I go

42:05

to. like people's private residences. I

42:07

like I will notice if they

42:09

don't have any plants, I think.

42:12

And are you like, what the

42:14

fuck's wrong with you? Yeah, were

42:16

you an idiot? I've always had

42:18

plants. I've always loved and revered

42:20

plants. Do you know about this

42:22

stuff, about plants that can talk

42:25

to each other? Yeah, Tom, have

42:27

you ever read the book, The

42:29

Over Story? No. I've watched the

42:31

cartoon underdog. Yeah, it's pretty much

42:33

the same thing. Yeah, it's good.

42:35

You should read it. What's it

42:38

called? The Overseer? The Overdog. The

42:40

Overstory. You got Underdog on the

42:42

brain. Well, a lot of that

42:44

is about a... And now the

42:46

book's about Underdog. Trees communicating with

42:48

the... Oh, yeah, yeah. And, uh...

42:51

Tom, it might be... I

42:53

don't know. It's one of my

42:56

favorite books I've ever read. Not

42:58

much to do with this. I

43:00

mean, it's about trees, which are

43:02

plants and we're talking about plants.

43:04

Yeah, it has like a lot

43:07

of the stuff they talk about,

43:09

like gossip and stuff. Yeah. Oh

43:11

yeah. There's like, oh man, cat

43:13

calls. Look at the leaves on

43:16

that one. Yeah. It's problematic what

43:18

they say to each other. But

43:20

what is it? It explained to

43:22

me how house plants. There we

43:25

know some of it, but like

43:27

some of it were not even

43:29

really a hundred percent sure how

43:31

they're doing it Plants release airborne

43:34

chemicals When stressed to warn neighbors

43:36

like we know that they're like

43:38

they release a chemical other plants

43:40

can sense that chemical and react

43:42

accordingly I guess Roots chat quote

43:45

unquote via underground chemical signals So

43:47

they'll tell each other about like

43:49

droughts and stuff like that. Yeah,

43:51

so I learned all this from

43:54

the over story. Okay. Well, why

43:56

didn't you say? any of that?

43:58

Because I didn't think, I thought

44:00

it would be house plant specific,

44:03

what you were gonna be saying.

44:05

Well in this case, well it's

44:07

roots, it could be, they could

44:09

talk in a house, you got

44:11

two plants in the same thing,

44:14

they're gonna talk pot, yeah. But

44:16

it does make sense that like,

44:18

oh yeah, trees, because I, sometimes

44:20

some of this like stuff about

44:23

plants communicating comes out, and it

44:25

sounds like, like, like, like, Fooey.

44:27

You know, it sounds like silly.

44:29

But then you think about things

44:32

like, well, the ability to signal

44:34

to other plants, like shit, man,

44:36

there's no water. Like, hey, the

44:38

water you have, like, conserve it,

44:40

be careful, right? You know, process

44:43

it differently than you normally would.

44:45

Makes a lot of sense. Yeah,

44:47

they're living beings. Yeah. They can

44:49

talk. They can speak English. A

44:52

2024 study and I don't have

44:54

more info about this. So don't

44:56

ask. Thank you for promising. Got

44:58

plants sending SOS signals on video

45:01

using fluorescent sensors. So somehow they

45:03

were signaling to each other using

45:05

fluorescent light? Ah. Yeah, who knows?

45:07

I'm not going to ask it.

45:09

You don't know. But what about

45:12

this? This is very common, not

45:14

even believe proven, that talking to

45:16

house plants is good for them.

45:18

Yeah, and they all say that.

45:21

It's the carbon dioxide that you're...

45:23

Well, that's what skeptics will say,

45:25

that it's the CO2 that's boosting

45:27

growth as it comes out. Well,

45:30

there's also vibration theory that sound

45:32

waves may stimulate root growth, and

45:34

it's like, yeah, maybe, but how

45:36

much? How much are the roots

45:38

vibrating from a human speaking? It's

45:41

like if that's gonna help, talking

45:43

to it for 30 minutes. or

45:45

giving it a good shake for

45:47

30 seconds. Yeah, just give it

45:50

a good shake. Shake up the

45:52

roots a lot more. There was

45:54

a study by the Royal Horticultural

45:56

Society. Well those fucking guys. That

45:59

showed tomato plants grew taller when

46:01

read to. Especially by women. Hmm.

46:03

So not pretty enough to be

46:05

in movies, but maybe good enough

46:08

to get a taller tomato plant.

46:10

Get a tomato plant to grow

46:12

a couple inches. You think they're

46:14

just like trying to impress the

46:16

lady? Yeah, probably. Look at all

46:19

I am. Now do you love

46:21

me? Yeah, I assume it's usually

46:23

some kind of unrequited love situation.

46:25

Sometimes it's requited, Tom. It puts

46:28

down the book. It falls in

46:30

love with the tomato plant. Um,

46:32

yes. You never see a movie

46:34

about that? I mean, is that

46:37

kind of what a little shop

46:39

of horrors about? No. The plant

46:41

eats people. Yeah, I guess nobody

46:43

really falls in love with the

46:45

plant. You eat a whole bunch

46:48

of people. Yeah, Seymour. Well, I

46:50

guess Seymour is more afraid of

46:52

it than anything. Yeah, first he's

46:54

supportive. Yeah. It's called enabling. Yeah,

46:57

that's a good movie. This is

46:59

a good movie. I haven't seen

47:01

that movie in that musical. Yeah.

47:03

Is that still on Broadway? The

47:06

Great White Way? I don't believe

47:08

it's still on Broadway. When I

47:10

feel like it gets revived every

47:12

once in a while, I'm like,

47:14

I should go to that, and

47:17

then I don't. I remember our

47:19

high school did like a version

47:21

of it when we were kids.

47:23

Yeah, it was cool. Yeah, like

47:26

I remember as a kid thinking

47:28

like this is sick like I

47:30

remember who played the various roles

47:32

too. Wow, a real a real

47:35

Broadway junkie. One, the lead of

47:37

Little Chapahores is now a personality.

47:39

Oh Yeah, I know who that

47:41

is. Yeah, I don't know if

47:43

you want to say that. It

47:46

doesn't matter. I mean, anything to

47:48

anybody. Tom, do you know that

47:50

the house plants reducing stress levels

47:52

of people? Of people. Of people.

47:55

That's why I think it's nice

47:57

having them. Yeah, it's soothing. Is

47:59

it, I mean, are there people

48:01

that think that's just because of

48:04

like oxygen? that like, ah, they're

48:06

producing oxygen and that boosts, you

48:08

know, oxygen makes you feel good.

48:10

Um, I think it's, it's relaxes

48:12

you. Yeah, I think a lot

48:15

of it has to do with

48:17

caring for the plants, if you're

48:19

caring for the plant, right? Like,

48:21

working with them can reduce physiological

48:24

and psychological stress, just to have.

48:26

I feel like I've heard about

48:28

this, like, where they've, you know,

48:30

done, uh, Maybe not even like

48:33

trials, maybe it just depends on

48:35

the prison, but like prisons that

48:37

allow house plants and like, yeah,

48:39

that's good for somebody's mental health

48:42

while they're in prison because they're

48:44

like caring for something alive. But

48:46

you know, low stakes. Yeah. Low

48:48

stakes alive. And I just want

48:50

to tell you something Tom, you

48:53

know, what they're doing in hospitals

48:55

with these plants. Where are they

48:57

doing? A 2002 review of the

48:59

research of some research they did,

49:02

revealed that people recuperating from several

49:04

different types of surgery needed less

49:06

pain medication than people who had

49:08

plants in the room. So they

49:11

were if you if you had

49:13

plants in the room you didn't

49:15

need as much medication and your

49:17

hospital stay was shorter Wow, yeah,

49:19

I mean that's a great and

49:22

like that's the kind of thing

49:24

I feel like this is the

49:26

thing about plants and general, Tim,

49:28

hard to nail down. Yeah. You

49:31

know, that it, like, I don't

49:33

think it's one thing you can

49:35

point to as being a good

49:37

thing about plants. That's not like,

49:40

oh, it's releasing a chemical or,

49:42

oh, it's, it's, you know, the,

49:44

the green, our eyes are tuned

49:46

to see green and we like

49:48

it. They're pleasant to look at.

49:51

It's beneficial to have something to

49:53

care for. They're sexy as hell.

49:55

Yeah, some of them. Some of

49:57

them smell nice. Yeah, some of

50:00

them do smell. Some of them

50:02

do smell. Some of them smell

50:04

bad. Yeah, skunkweed. Well, you don't

50:06

keep that as a houseplain. Usually.

50:09

We should have gotten for this

50:11

episode, Tom. Who? Wildman Steve. This

50:13

is a guy that he was

50:15

awesome. He would come to our

50:17

high school and grade school. Yeah.

50:20

Yeah. It was sanctioned by by

50:22

the administration. Yeah, because I remember

50:24

in, I remember when he like

50:26

showed up in high school, it

50:29

was like, oh sick, like we

50:31

still get Wild Man Steve. There

50:33

was this guy. And now it

50:35

was sweet. Yeah. There was this

50:38

guy. It was basically just like

50:40

a very knowledgeable hippie that they

50:42

said to her school, I don't

50:44

know, once or twice a year.

50:46

Sometimes he was shitties, like sometimes

50:49

he was just like an assembly

50:51

and he would just kind of

50:53

talk about stuff. But the best

50:55

ones were like, we're all gonna

50:58

go outside today with Wild Man

51:00

Steve and we're gonna go walk

51:02

in the woods behind the school.

51:04

Yeah. And he's gonna show you

51:07

like a bunch of crazy shit

51:09

that like you don't know about.

51:11

You know what's weird about our

51:13

school in like the 90s? Like

51:16

our. you know middle or or

51:18

it was the grade school but

51:20

it was like essentially an elementary

51:22

school right yeah so it was

51:24

like late 80s early 90s yeah

51:27

but like they were just like

51:29

hey come into the woods behind

51:31

the school that we all know

51:33

you're gonna go to after school

51:36

and like we sanction that too.

51:38

Like we think that's a good

51:40

idea and this old hippie is

51:42

gonna show you around. Well, he's

51:45

going to show you the things

51:47

that you can eat. And then

51:49

third grader, after school, just go

51:51

wander into the woods. We think

51:53

that's a good idea. And maybe

51:56

try eating some of the stuff

51:58

that that old hippie told you

52:00

you could eat. Well, that was

52:02

the problem. Like, I remember that

52:05

happened one year, and they were

52:07

like upset about it. And I

52:09

just remember even as a kid

52:11

thing, I'm like. What the fuck

52:14

does you think was gonna happen?

52:16

Yeah. And why is it a

52:18

bit? Why did you have this

52:20

guy show us what we can

52:22

eat if then you don't want

52:25

us to go eat it? Yeah.

52:27

Why do you show it to

52:29

us then? I'd rather be ignorant

52:31

of the natural world, thank you

52:34

very much. But yeah, there were

52:36

rumors that he sold kids weed.

52:38

Yeah. I like kind of doubt

52:40

it, you know what I mean?

52:43

I don't think, I think, that's

52:45

like, he's an old hippie. Yeah.

52:47

Yeah. and he talks about plants

52:49

and nature all the time. Of

52:51

course some kids are going to

52:54

be like, hey, in his sick

52:56

little mind, would be like, hey,

52:58

I bet I can convince everybody

53:00

that he's just selling the kids'

53:03

gods herb. Yeah, it's probably like

53:05

a kid asked them, like, probably

53:07

like the most basic, like, You

53:09

know, I heard you can grow

53:12

some plants in water and he

53:14

was like, oh hydroponics, yes, that

53:16

is, and he's probably, oh dude,

53:18

he knows, he totally knows, he's

53:20

totally, it's like, yeah, I'm sure

53:23

that guy's got a basement full

53:25

of fucking plants growing, but I

53:27

don't think he was selling them

53:29

to the kids. I saw him

53:32

years later on channel 11 news

53:34

he had gotten arrested for having

53:36

tours in Central Park along the

53:38

same lines. of like he took

53:41

people through Central Park and showed

53:43

them like what you can eat

53:45

in Central Park. And I'm not

53:47

just talking about the ice cream

53:50

stands. whatever I'm having a freedom

53:52

of speech why can't they why

53:54

can't you do that? Yeah I

53:56

don't know I think you know

53:58

what it is I think you're

54:01

not allowed to eat anything in

54:03

the park or you're not let

54:05

to like rip up the plants

54:07

yeah yeah if you can eat

54:10

them while they're still growing maybe

54:12

that's okay just you can't pull

54:14

them off but you can just

54:16

how you got to wait for

54:19

them to naturally fall off with

54:21

your mouth open under them yeah

54:23

You can't even catch it, that

54:25

doesn't count. If you catch it,

54:27

put it on the ground, that

54:30

was falling. So yeah, I don't

54:32

know where Wild Man Steve. He

54:34

was on the Public Access Channel

54:36

one time. Yeah. And I called

54:39

in. I fabricated a thing about,

54:41

like, I found a plant and

54:43

this one, just because I wanted

54:45

to be, I wanted my voice

54:48

to be on TV. And he's

54:50

like, yeah, what you got there

54:52

is like a skunkweed. And I

54:54

was like, yeah, did smell weird.

54:56

And he's like, yeah, thanks for

54:59

the call. I mean, in retrospect,

55:01

though, Tim had launched this podcast.

55:03

He did. People said, I want

55:05

to hear more of that voice.

55:08

Yeah. Just caused such a, such

55:10

an uproar. People demanded more. I

55:12

was like well I don't have

55:14

Wildman Steve but I got the

55:17

next best thing. Tom. Yeah I

55:19

have a book about like identifying

55:21

mushrooms in the forest you know

55:23

and like what's edible and what's

55:25

not but I don't know if

55:28

I'd ever ever trust it yeah

55:30

you know I would trust the

55:32

book I wouldn't trust you or

55:34

me or anybody really to Identify

55:37

correctly. Yes. Yeah. And me, books

55:39

got a lot of pictures and

55:41

stuff, but I think I'd still

55:43

be like, yeah. A lot of

55:46

books have a lot of pictures.

55:48

A lot of books have a

55:50

lot of pictures, and also I

55:52

think most mushrooms look the same,

55:54

except for like wacky ones. Yeah.

55:57

So, we'll see. But I'd like

55:59

to, I'd love to, I grew,

56:01

uh, edible. I ate a mushroom

56:03

and I grew a choice. I

56:06

grew. And I grew. And I

56:08

ate a flower and I was

56:10

able to throw fireballs. You should

56:12

have brought this up earlier in

56:15

the, was that a house plant

56:17

that flower that you touched? Yeah.

56:19

Yeah. Came right. I hit a

56:21

block. Wow. Wow. That's unbelievable to

56:24

hear. That may be completely lose

56:26

my trade of thought, but yeah,

56:28

plants. There's also, Tim, see, I

56:30

was gonna say, like, yeah, there's,

56:32

you know, the basics, like, ah,

56:35

this is how plants work, but

56:37

there's like crazier things about plants

56:39

that imply we might not know

56:41

everything about exactly how they work,

56:44

how they function, and like, their

56:46

level of consciousness. Because there was

56:48

a study. Plants, conscious, conscious, conscious.

56:50

Yeah. Well, some people, I mean,

56:53

some people believe, you know, it's

56:55

a religious belief that like everything

56:57

has a consciousness. But there are

56:59

a lot of people, it seems

57:01

like an increasing amount. More than

57:04

a religious belief, Tom, it's science.

57:06

Well I was going to say

57:08

that there's an increasing amount of

57:10

people that think like yes it

57:13

might not look like our consciousness

57:15

but plants do have something that

57:17

is similar to consciousness but then

57:19

it's a cute thing they like

57:22

go up to vegans and be

57:24

like oh plants are alive so

57:26

we can't eat those I think

57:28

we should do that more often

57:30

is that why you've been hanging

57:33

outside that vegan cafe just right

57:35

around some yeah Oh, you really

57:37

think you didn't kill any living

57:39

things? That's what I think, you

57:42

know, people always talk about like,

57:44

how much people hate vegans or

57:46

annoyed by vegans. And I think

57:48

a really under-heard from demographic is

57:51

how much vegetarians dislike vegans because

57:53

they get lumped in with them.

57:55

I have no hate for vegans.

57:57

I'm not saying hate, but I'm

57:59

just... I hate that like, oh,

58:02

a vegan will tell you. It's

58:04

like, yeah, because they have a

58:06

dietary restriction. Oh boy, if you're

58:08

waiting tables and you've got a

58:11

vegan, they'll tell you. Or if

58:13

you bring something to a potluck,

58:15

they're gonna ask you if there's...

58:17

Well, but I think that's what,

58:20

like, I've seen with my wife

58:22

that people think, like, I don't

58:24

know, a lot of people think

58:26

vegetarian is vegan and are immediately

58:28

like, oh, there's like a ton

58:31

of restrictions. And then she has

58:33

to be like, no, no, no,

58:35

it's just like, beef, chicken, pork,

58:37

and fish, I do not eat.

58:40

Like that's. Yeah, I don't know.

58:42

I think the whole, there's two

58:44

things that I think that's it.

58:46

Like you don't have to get

58:49

into the minutiae of like, well,

58:51

is it an animal byproduct? Is

58:53

it made by an animal? Because

58:55

then people are surprised here. Like,

58:58

oh, vegans were made honey because

59:00

it's made by an animal. Yeah,

59:02

I don't know. I think the

59:04

whole, uh, there's two things that

59:06

I think people say like all

59:09

the time it's like. Oh, vegan.

59:11

You know, you're always gonna hear

59:13

that. Like, everybody. Yeah. And then

59:15

the other thing, it's like, people

59:18

don't shut up about, oh, I

59:20

rescued my dog. Nobody actually does

59:22

that. They just, they, it's like,

59:24

I got my dog from a

59:27

rescue. I've, I've met people that,

59:29

look, Tim. Cool. I met people

59:31

to her assoles in a number

59:33

of different ways. No, I was,

59:35

no, I was gonna say as

59:38

a dog owner. awful dog owners.

59:40

Oh no, I hate every, no

59:42

offense to you and you're right.

59:44

I hate every single dog owner

59:47

in New York City. No, another

59:49

will make you hate dog owners

59:51

more than. and having a dog

59:53

and like meeting other people that

59:56

yeah are just in a million

59:58

different ways annoying about their dog.

1:00:00

I just don't like that we

1:00:02

let them piss everywhere. I don't

1:00:04

like, I see people bring their

1:00:07

dogs, you know, and not a

1:00:09

service animal, bring their dogs into

1:00:11

the supermarket. And it's like, you're

1:00:13

not allowed to bring your dog

1:00:16

in the supermarket. Like, nobody's gonna

1:00:18

say anything to you because, honestly,

1:00:20

none of them are paid well

1:00:22

enough to be acting like a

1:00:25

bouncer. Yeah, I got it. grocery

1:00:27

stores where they pay their their

1:00:29

staff a fair wage so they

1:00:31

do keep they do yellow people

1:00:33

if they break the rules I

1:00:36

don't know but I see that

1:00:38

I'm like who the hell do

1:00:40

you think you are like why

1:00:42

do you think you are like

1:00:45

why do you think you're allowed

1:00:47

to bring your dog in that

1:00:49

and we let them piss everywhere

1:00:51

it could go piss in it's

1:00:54

like even it's like I understand

1:00:56

like it's one thing like the

1:00:58

dog poops and they don't clean

1:01:00

it up like it's okay We

1:01:02

all agree. I wasn't around for

1:01:05

the vote where it's like, no,

1:01:07

if it's okay for them, just

1:01:09

piss in the middle of the

1:01:11

sidewalk. Yeah, I mean, I don't

1:01:14

have Ginger be on the sidewalk.

1:01:16

I think it's good that this

1:01:18

happens. But at the same time,

1:01:20

she has done it a couple

1:01:23

of times where I'm like, oh,

1:01:25

God damn it, like right there,

1:01:27

that's where you had to do

1:01:29

it. Like, but, uh, right on

1:01:32

my new Bruno moggly shoes. I

1:01:34

got these because OJ said they

1:01:36

were so good. No, but I

1:01:38

get that because I see dog

1:01:40

piss all over the place and

1:01:43

I'm like, yeah, there are better

1:01:45

places. People let their dogs just

1:01:47

like piss on cars. Yeah. I

1:01:49

think you should be able to,

1:01:52

I think people should be able

1:01:54

to piss on cars. I mean,

1:01:56

I don't really, I don't really

1:01:58

care. Yeah. Tim, if people like

1:02:01

the show, they can find out

1:02:03

more TcG T.E.com. They can

1:02:05

find our social media links

1:02:07

there, links are sub-redited, our

1:02:09

discord, and our patron, patron.com/complete

1:02:11

guide, where we do a

1:02:14

bonus episode every god damn

1:02:16

week. Whether you want it or not, you

1:02:18

get it. Is the patron better than this

1:02:20

show? I think the patron's better than

1:02:22

this show. Yeah, it's a little bit.

1:02:24

I mean, I don't know. I was

1:02:26

going to say it's a little bit

1:02:28

more free-wheeling, but I don't know how

1:02:31

much we all learned about house plans

1:02:33

today. I think if anything, the patron

1:02:35

tends to be more on topic. Yeah,

1:02:37

well this week, it's the gauntlet. Yeah,

1:02:39

we're running through a bunch of topics.

1:02:41

Our patron listeners and nobody else got

1:02:43

to suggest a bunch of topics to

1:02:45

us, and we're going to go through

1:02:47

them. I'll just see which ones

1:02:49

are going to become episode topics.

1:02:52

Yeah. patron.com/complete guide if you

1:02:54

want to listen to that

1:02:56

and maybe a sneak peek

1:02:59

into the future. What do you

1:03:01

mean? Of topics? Oh, okay, I see.

1:03:03

You thought I was going to tell

1:03:05

Tom about the machine we've been building.

1:03:07

Tom? That's for Patrons only.

1:03:10

Tim, they did this study

1:03:12

with plants where they hooked

1:03:14

up a plant to a

1:03:16

polygraph test. And then

1:03:18

they had a plant's owner

1:03:20

think about just think about

1:03:22

setting the plan on fire and

1:03:24

the plants are freaking out

1:03:26

Yeah So plants might be able

1:03:29

to read our thoughts. Is this

1:03:31

a Richard Matheson? Story No, there's

1:03:33

a real a real story that

1:03:35

they did a real thing they

1:03:37

did a real thing they did

1:03:39

lead with this the I'm saving

1:03:41

it for the very end so

1:03:43

people start to learn. Yeah Hey,

1:03:45

the good stuff's at the end.

1:03:47

Yeah, also I don't have very

1:03:49

much more information about it. Hmm. Well,

1:03:52

I hope it wasn't a Venus flytrap. Yeah.

1:03:54

I'd be afraid that. Did you ever

1:03:56

have a Venus flytrap as a kid?

1:03:58

No, I terrified. Yeah, it was. afraid

1:04:00

of a little shop of horse.

1:04:02

There's a little shop of horse

1:04:05

is another thing. That movie creeped

1:04:07

me out. Yeah. But not because

1:04:09

of the plan. I knew the

1:04:11

plan was like a big joke,

1:04:14

right? Like it's fine. Like I

1:04:16

know like a fun point. Yeah.

1:04:18

But uh, the Steve Martin character

1:04:20

is very vicious. Yeah. And like.

1:04:23

bad dentist yeah and he beats

1:04:25

up Audrey like his girlfriend and

1:04:27

like that just like freaked me

1:04:29

and it's also like kind of

1:04:32

played for laughs in the movie

1:04:34

yeah and like that like always

1:04:36

like didn't I was always like

1:04:38

setting up you're not feeling bad

1:04:41

when he gets eaten yeah but

1:04:43

it also was like the viciousness

1:04:45

of that at like six years

1:04:47

old or whatever I saw you

1:04:50

didn't like it yeah and like

1:04:52

You know, it's like, oh, Timmy's

1:04:54

afraid of little shop hearts. I'm

1:04:56

like, no, I'm not a, I

1:04:59

know the plant is fake. It's

1:05:01

not, you know, it's a puppet.

1:05:03

It's a, it's a Henson. Well,

1:05:05

let me, if you came back

1:05:08

here next week, Tim, and I

1:05:10

had a present for you, and

1:05:12

it was a Venus fly trap.

1:05:14

How would you react?