Clockwinders on Parade (S7, E16)

Clockwinders on Parade (S7, E16)

Released Wednesday, 16th April 2025
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Clockwinders on Parade (S7, E16)

Clockwinders on Parade (S7, E16)

Clockwinders on Parade (S7, E16)

Clockwinders on Parade (S7, E16)

Wednesday, 16th April 2025
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Episode Transcript

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The Crit Show contains elements

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of horror, fantasy violence, and

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adult language. Content warnings

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can be found in

0:52

the episode description. Tasha

1:52

ruining Parade Day. I

1:54

ruin every day. Not

1:56

just parade day. Come

1:58

on. Roo every day. Oh.

2:00

Oh yes, I do that too. Hello

2:02

everyone and welcome back to the Crit

2:04

Show. Oh are we all? Oh are

2:06

we all playing the clockwinders? Hello, everyone.

2:09

Hello Jake. Hi. We're trying to get

2:11

in the previous 15 that we missed.

2:13

Okay. Do you just want to like

2:15

get them all out at once or

2:17

do you just want to like get

2:20

them all out at once or do

2:22

you just want to torment me over

2:24

time? Oh. I mean turn about is

2:26

fair play. I'm fucking with you. Last

2:29

time around, the squad finished

2:31

up their individual

2:33

contributions to the longevity

2:35

of the clockwinders and

2:38

were informed that they

2:40

are going to be in a parade.

2:42

Each of them had a new idea

2:45

for a way to enhance the parade.

2:47

Tass went looking for, well,

2:49

pursued the information to go

2:52

looking for a band. And

2:54

by Tass, I of course

2:56

mean Einen because... Maxine

2:58

went and found a black

3:00

market fireworks dealer and Cade

3:03

went to a schoolhouse and

3:05

recruited a bunch of children.

3:07

And that really about covers

3:09

it. That brings us back to

3:12

current events. So let's hop back

3:14

in, having jumped forward a little

3:16

bit in time to clock

3:18

night and let's rejoin Eyn. Eyn,

3:21

you know that this band has

3:23

a gig scheduled for tonight. You

3:25

know where it is where it

3:27

is. And do you want to

3:29

name the band or do you

3:32

want me to name the band?

3:34

Uh, yeah, I know their name.

3:36

Hit me. Uh, they are suns

3:38

edging. No, they are, ether

3:41

beaver. Okay. I had to think

3:43

on it for a second. Like,

3:45

like eager beaver. I got, yeah.

3:47

The ethers in the world. Yeah.

3:49

I know you you you can

3:51

come up with it. No you

3:54

already you did it. All right.

3:56

It's either beaver. Okay. So you

3:58

know where either be is performing

4:00

this evening and you know the front

4:02

man is named Ayan Anand. What is

4:05

your approach here? What are you doing?

4:07

I think just wherever this venue is

4:09

I'm just I'm gonna go I'm gonna

4:11

enjoy the show watch have a few

4:14

drinks and wait for it to wrap

4:16

up before I go try to speak

4:18

with them. Okay you have no problem

4:21

like getting into the venue it's not

4:23

like it's locked down or anything it

4:25

is a little tavern they are playing

4:27

on a Very slightly elevated stage that

4:30

is in one corner of the

4:32

tavern. It's just kind of one

4:34

big room here. You grab a

4:36

seat you enjoy the show or

4:38

maybe I don't know is is

4:40

music Einens thing? I think Einen

4:42

enjoys a good show. Is Einen

4:44

receptive to music unlike anything he's

4:46

ever heard before? Absolutely breaking

4:48

the mold. Yes. Okay, then

4:50

yeah, I think you fucking love

4:53

the show. Okay, because it's mindblowing.

4:55

I have no doubt And at

4:57

the end of it, Ayan yells out, we

4:59

are, ether beaver, thank you everyone,

5:01

good night. And everybody's like,

5:03

woo. And they disembark from

5:06

the stage and head through a door

5:08

into a back room or a green

5:10

room or something. I think I would,

5:13

I don't know, speak with like, are

5:15

they big enough to have security or

5:17

something or like roadies or like something,

5:20

someone out there working for them in

5:22

some capacity? I don't know if it's

5:24

a question of like, are they big

5:27

enough to like. need security or merit

5:29

security, but there is a security guy

5:31

Outstanding yeah, yeah, I'll go up and

5:33

give the guy a smile offer hand

5:36

to shake holds out a hand in

5:38

front of you at stop right there

5:40

Nobody's going back here. Oh, yes. No.

5:43

Of course I am actually I'm here

5:45

on behalf of the clockwinders I was

5:47

hoping to get some information on how

5:49

I might possibly be able to book

5:52

the band He's like the clockwinders lame

5:54

I know right it it is kind

5:56

of a rough situation but we're looking

5:58

to fix that. have quite a

6:01

spectacular parade upcoming that we thought

6:03

they might be interested in. Is

6:05

it a paid gig? Absolutely. All

6:07

right well they might be interested in

6:09

hearing you out then. Hold on a

6:11

second and he goes through the door

6:13

and shuts it behind him. All right. You

6:16

hear a little bit of chatter and

6:18

then he and then the door opens

6:20

and you see him kind of step to

6:22

the side and gesture you in. I'll follow

6:24

him in. All right. Yeah, you head

6:26

into a green room here. The band

6:29

is all sort of spread out, kicking

6:31

it, relaxing after the show, cleaning up,

6:33

and Ayan specifically looks in your direction.

6:35

Oh, you see, you're trying to book

6:38

us for a gig, I? Yes, in

6:40

fact, I am. Ayan, was it? Yeah.

6:42

Spectacular, I could listen to your voice.

6:44

All day, all night. Well, that would

6:47

put you with everybody else on the

6:49

world. You damn right. What's your name,

6:51

mate? Ian and Kearning a pleasure and

6:53

I'll offer a hand to shake. Ah yeah,

6:55

he holds out a hand to shakes.

6:57

I'll say I've heard of you all

6:59

of course and I've never got to

7:02

see you live until tonight and

7:04

you more than fit the hype.

7:06

Well it's very kind of you

7:08

to say mate. So what sort

7:10

of gig is this? I'm told

7:12

that you're with the clock winders

7:14

and there's kind of a snicker

7:16

that goes around the room. Aside

7:18

from, of course, fair payment, I

7:20

hope you'd be intrigued by doing

7:23

a, what sort of a moving

7:25

show. As far as I'm concerned,

7:27

every show we do is moving,

7:29

mate. Ah, very good. Very good.

7:31

Yes, we're planning a parade, day

7:33

after tomorrow. Yeah, he kind of

7:35

like looks at his bandmates

7:37

and they all kind of

7:39

exchange a look of like

7:42

hmm, interesting. Interesting. Yes,

7:44

more or less, we're going

7:46

to have a float, sort

7:48

of highlighting the clockwinders and

7:50

what we do, and functionally

7:52

we would rely on you for,

7:55

well, making it fun. I'm led

7:57

to believe there will be fireworks

7:59

involved. Oh, the band collectively

8:01

lets out a little. Ooh.

8:03

All right, Tass, why don't you roll

8:05

to overcome with rapport? And

8:08

I think we're trying to beat

8:10

a two. I think this is

8:12

fair difficulty based on how you

8:14

are stroking this guy's ego. Okay.

8:17

Well, I got a flat zero. Well,

8:19

that is less than a two. Yeah,

8:21

and I don't think I have anything

8:23

I can invoke here. Um, hmm, shit.

8:25

I don't actually have any thoughts on

8:28

this one. I don't have any ideas

8:30

of what I would accept. Okay, so

8:32

you can spend a fate point to

8:34

invoke other people's aspects, right? Yes. Could

8:37

you invoke my leave it to the

8:39

professionals since you referenced like we're getting

8:41

firework set up? Is this like, not only

8:43

or is there a parade about us, but

8:45

we are the ones putting it together so

8:48

it's going to be done right? Is that

8:50

what you want you want to do?

8:52

I like that, absolutely. I could see

8:54

that. Are you invoking it for a

8:56

re-roll or for a plus two? A

8:58

plus two would get me to my

9:00

goal. A re-roll might go terribly. Yeah,

9:02

I don't know how bad the roll

9:04

was. So I don't know if there's

9:07

anywhere to go but up. I could

9:09

technically do one lower or the same

9:11

or one higher that would still not

9:13

get me there. That's true. But if

9:15

if the plus two will get me...

9:18

It'll get you to the tie, so

9:20

you'll get what you want. with a

9:22

minor cost or you get a lesser version

9:24

of it. God part of me wants to

9:26

chance it so bad because I have a

9:29

decent I have a plus three I just

9:31

rolled a minus three these are the situations

9:33

that keep us up let's go for it

9:35

okay follow your heart yeah I'm gonna

9:37

go for it full re-roll all right

9:40

spend your fate point re-roll them dice

9:42

reroll them bones satisfying fully on the

9:44

spent fate point I don't know if

9:46

that picked up but a good

9:48

shook of it being removed from

9:50

its sheath all right here we

9:52

go Thank God that is now

9:54

a four okay. That's way better.

9:56

It is way better. That's like

9:58

seven better. Yeah That is a success,

10:01

not with style, but a success nonetheless.

10:03

So Iyan nods and kind of nods

10:05

at his bandmates who nod and return,

10:07

just lots of nodding going on all

10:10

around the room. He says, yeah, all

10:12

right, you got yourself a deal. We'll

10:14

play your show. It truly means a

10:16

lot. May I sit with you for

10:19

a moment? Sure. I don't want this

10:21

to sound like, you know, Ayn's trying

10:23

to like rise to their just kind

10:25

of level of... It's almost ridiculousness in

10:28

a way. Yeah, that too. But I

10:30

mean, this, I think he's very

10:32

genuinely like trying to bring it

10:34

down for a moment. Like just

10:36

bring the excitement down, so to

10:38

speak, not like, not make it

10:41

depressing. Yeah, Einstein's a downer. Right,

10:43

right, right, right. No, I think

10:45

that I just kind of take

10:47

them in for a moment. As

10:49

odd as it sounds, we really

10:51

are trying to make a big

10:54

change here. I know most everyone

10:56

has heard the stories of the

10:58

potential of the world starting to

11:00

turn again and all the things

11:02

that might happen if that were true,

11:04

but it is true. We're in a

11:06

very dangerous time and a time where

11:08

we need inspiration. So artists like

11:10

you, you have a chance to make

11:13

a real difference and add excitement to

11:15

something that might otherwise not be. So

11:17

I just hope that you keep that

11:19

in mind that maybe... Aside from the

11:22

pride you must already carry with the

11:24

skill that you employ on stage that

11:26

maybe this will be a historic day

11:28

for this entire planet You look around

11:30

and they are all hanging on your

11:33

every word They're all like the one

11:35

that was like lounging on the couch

11:37

is now like sitting up and leaning

11:40

forward to be closer to you and

11:42

Ayan's got sort of like a cool

11:44

guy sneer and nods and he's like

11:46

ride on night. We'll make history. I

11:49

have no doubt now that we've spoken

11:51

on this side like you to look

11:53

this over and I pull out my

11:56

notebook and I've got some lyrics about

11:58

a clockwinders like song if This McDonald's

29:39

meets the Minecraft universe with one of

29:41

six collectibles and your choice of a

29:44

Big Mac or ten-piece McNuggets with spicy

29:46

netherflame sauce now available with a Minecraft

29:48

movie meal. I participate in McDonald's for

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a limited time on Minecraft movie only

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in theaters. are,

32:02

but not necessarily what they

32:04

were. Now it is a

32:06

home for misfits those of

32:09

us with nowhere else to

32:11

go. Even criminals. All of

32:13

us have found a purpose,

32:15

meaning, training, friendship. But I

32:17

don't think most of you

32:19

understand why. We found all

32:21

this because we have a

32:23

united task. A common goal.

32:25

I'm not here to scare

32:27

any of you. But the

32:29

rumors are true. This world

32:32

has the potential to spin

32:34

again, to turn into oblivion.

32:36

And while that day is

32:38

very far off, that could

32:40

mean the ruin of our

32:43

future generations. And we mean

32:45

to put a stop to

32:47

that. We have fixed two

32:49

of the six cores, but

32:51

fixing them is only a

32:54

small goal. It is one

32:56

grain of sand in the

32:58

hourglass. Maintaining them. understanding them,

33:00

finding their deeper secrets, that

33:02

is what the clockwinders was. And

33:05

that is what it will continue

33:07

to be. Any of you that

33:09

are curious about the world, any

33:12

of you that are curious about

33:14

learning, not just about technology, engineering,

33:16

ether, and the secrets therein, but

33:19

about yourself and what you can

33:21

do with your life. We would

33:23

love to meet you. We would

33:25

love to have you. And I'm

33:28

sure. that your children and their

33:30

children after that will be grateful

33:32

for all of the work that

33:35

you put into this. I put

33:37

a hand on Maxine and Cade's

33:39

shoulders. In the last few weeks

33:41

alone, I have been inspired by

33:44

specialists like these. I've seen the

33:46

miracles that they've worked. So I

33:48

declare that today, today is the

33:51

first day of the new clockwinders.

33:53

Today is the day that I

33:55

fill my heart with hope. that

33:57

some of you faces in this crowd.

34:00

And right now, we'll

34:02

also display miracles within

34:04

our organization. And I step back.

34:06

There is a moment of

34:08

quiet before you hear somebody

34:11

start to clap, and then

34:13

another, and people join in.

34:15

People start to cheer. People

34:17

seem to celebrate your words.

34:19

They seem moved and excited.

34:21

And Chief Forman walks over

34:23

and like claps a hand

34:26

on your back, like a

34:28

job well done. But among

34:30

the... cheering and celebrating and

34:32

clapping, you do hear a

34:34

booing start to kind of

34:36

like, pierce through it. Like

34:39

you shouldn't be able to

34:41

hear it over the din,

34:43

but you can. You hear

34:45

somebody just, boo! Boo! And

34:47

a moment later, you hear

34:49

another one, somewhere else in

34:52

the crowd, and the people

34:54

cheering start to like, scale

34:56

it back, like... worried that

34:58

they're in the wrong. I will

35:00

take off my robot helmet. He's

35:03

a phony! Listen, we understand your

35:05

apprehension. Like we're not here to

35:07

convince you that the history of

35:10

the clockwinders or everything they've done

35:12

has been great. Anyone here who

35:14

knows the history, they've put themselves

35:17

up on pedestals and they've made

35:19

joining a punishment for crime. Like

35:21

he said, this is a new

35:24

start. Clockwinders aren't... These lofty scholars

35:26

and they're not criminals trying to

35:28

find a way out of a prison sentence.

35:30

It's people like you and me, people who

35:32

just want to make sure that the world

35:34

is safe so that we can go on

35:36

living our lives. The only way this works

35:39

is with everyday people and your booze are

35:41

heard and they're understood. We hope to change

35:43

your mind. You hear one of those booing

35:45

figures out in the crowd yell

35:47

out, if the clockwinders hadn't abandoned their

35:50

station, the world wouldn't be in jeopardy

35:52

in the first place. and you hear

35:54

another one somewhere else. You bullies have

35:57

run rampant over the entire planet for

35:59

decades! I like push forward past

36:01

Cade up to the front. It's

36:03

not like they all just abandoned

36:05

their posts. This is a very

36:07

difficult job. You have no idea

36:09

what we done. We had to

36:11

fight and go underwater and chase

36:13

crickets and fight a ghost? Just

36:16

like getting very flustered and like

36:18

upset. Some additional booths spring

36:20

up through the crowd. And actually

36:22

one of these individuals, somebody closer

36:24

to the front, like pushes forward.

36:26

You can see that it's a

36:28

slightly older guy and he's just

36:30

like red in the face with

36:32

anger. You think you all can

36:35

change what you are just because

36:37

you declare it? You've all been

36:39

liars and failures for longer than

36:41

I've been alive. I don't think

36:43

that's going to change today. And

36:45

he starts to just rush toward

36:47

the float that you all are

36:49

standing on. Whoa! I jump off the

36:52

float. I'm getting between everyone else

36:54

and him. All right, I think

36:56

we are stepping into a conflict

36:58

here and this guy started it. So

37:00

I think he gets to go first. Yeah.

37:02

So he is going to make an attack

37:04

against you with fight and he gets a

37:06

one. Do you want to defend? Yeah, absolutely.

37:09

All right, what are you defending with?

37:11

Um, athletics, I think, you know, I

37:14

think if he's coming in like to

37:16

whatever tackle me, punch me, whatever it

37:18

is, I'm just trying to like get

37:20

my arms around him. I'm trying to

37:22

stop him from swinging. Four all right,

37:24

you defend and you gain a boost.

37:26

Okay, that would put you next in

37:28

the order I'm just gonna try to

37:31

put him on the ground like again

37:33

I don't want to hurt him. I

37:35

just want to get his legs out from

37:37

under him and pin him down Okay, I

37:39

think this is still going to be a

37:42

roll to attack. You're just trying to

37:44

put a condition on him. Okay, what

37:46

do you think you're rolling with?

37:48

Probably fight okay, he's gonna try to

37:51

defend okay I got a five he got

37:53

a one all right So I'm going to give

37:55

him the condition of pinned. You

37:57

managed to sort of effortlessly

37:59

him on the ground and

38:01

hold him in place. Sir, listen,

38:04

I understand whatever they used to

38:06

be. They are no longer. I

38:08

hate to say it, but the

38:11

clockwinders have fallen apart. They are

38:13

a shell of what they used

38:15

to be, and we mean to

38:18

fix it. We are not here

38:20

to bully you or anyone else.

38:22

We're here to help. Task, give

38:24

me an overcome roll with

38:27

notice. Okay. That's a four. You

38:29

notice a couple of things. One,

38:31

out of your peripheral vision, you

38:33

see other figures moving forward out of

38:35

this crowd quickly and with hostility.

38:37

Some of those other people that

38:40

seem to be booing, they are,

38:42

like this man, rushing forward. And

38:44

two, as you restrain him, as you

38:46

are talking to him, he's thrashing, he's

38:49

fighting back against you, he turns his

38:51

head to look at you, and you

38:53

see the green tinge of ether behind

38:56

his eyes. And I think that is

38:58

where we will leave it off

39:00

this time around. So thank you

39:02

all for joining us for another

39:04

episode. If you are interested in

39:06

more information about the fate system

39:08

or the clock winders setting, you

39:11

can find that information in the

39:13

show notes. If you want to

39:15

see anything else that we've done

39:17

or listen to or read, etc.

39:19

Check out our patron, patreon.com/the Crits

39:21

show. If you become a patron,

39:24

you can get your name read

39:26

at the end of an episode,

39:28

just like Carl E. Dwayne. Thank

39:30

you very much. Hi Jake. And

39:32

you can also join the most

39:34

aggressively welcoming discord on the planet.

39:36

Absolutely true at the basis level.

39:38

Yeah. You know what? I was

39:40

thinking about this. I didn't want

39:42

to interrupt the flow of the

39:44

episode. And I feel like it's

39:46

been a long time since I've thrown.

39:49

two or three people if you

39:51

send us the song like the

39:53

lyrics the music whatever that

39:55

ether beaver is playing I

39:58

will send you some goodies

40:00

somebody let us know what

40:02

ether beaver was blasting during

40:05

this parade perfect yeah getting

40:07

on that fun little improv

40:09

contest thank you everybody for

40:11

listening as always tune in

40:14

next time for another episode

40:16

of the crit show and

40:18

everyone around this table tell

40:21

them good say bid them

40:23

end it bye bye say

40:25

good bye The

40:33

Crit Show is a Crit Show

40:35

Studios production edited and produced by

40:37

Brandon Wintz with music by Jake

40:39

Pearly. You can find more information

40:41

about us at the Crit Show

40:44

podcast.com. To keep up to date

40:46

with upcoming live shows, contests, and

40:48

other special events, follow us at

40:50

the Crit Show on Facebook, Instagram,

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and Twitter. For even more weekly

40:54

content, join us at patron.com/the Crit

40:56

Show. The

41:14

Fable and Falling Network, where fiction producers

41:16

flourish. Modes of thought and entrant literature.

41:18

Second-year classics, Harbridge University. Seven years ago,

41:20

a Chinese military sub accidentally went down

41:22

in the Pacific Ocean. Turns out, the

41:25

sub fell smack in front of a

41:27

gigantic three-sided pyramid in the ruins of

41:29

what we now call Dark City. This

41:31

in Taran, the class. Seems like there's

41:33

a lot of debate about it. Legally,

41:35

I cannot stop you from teaching this

41:37

class, but I strongly advise that- What?

41:40

You know what? If you want to

41:42

tank your reputation, that's on you. You

41:44

don't believe a word I say about

41:46

it, Taran. You're right.

41:48

You're right. right. I do

41:50

do not believe Antara

41:53

exists. I don't

41:55

need to know. I

41:57

Is it real? to know.

41:59

Is came all the

42:01

way to China

42:03

to find out? all the

42:05

way everyone, get out

42:08

right now. Now, out?

42:10

what the hell

42:12

are you doing? I'm

42:14

gonna cut my

42:16

hands now. you're all

42:18

gonna feel it. what the

42:20

hell are you doing? I'm going to

42:23

cut my I told

42:25

you. you're all going of

42:27

thought it. Ow! See? I told you.

42:29

and audio drama by

42:31

Wolf of the Door of

42:33

the Door For more information,

42:35

more please visit please visit W.L.F.DR.com.

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