0:01

Hello and welcome back to

0:03

the Crossing Guard tapes . We

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come to you live from an undisclosed

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location . What

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you are about to hear is true

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. This

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is an unauthorized account taken

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from the diary of Mike Limbo and

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his time as an agent for a deep

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state organization known

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as the Guards of the Realm . Mike

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needs our help . They

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know he's out there and they won't rest

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until they have him back in their grips

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. Help us get the word

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out . Join us

0:37

as we bring you the fourth

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installment of the Crossing Guard

0:41

tapes , april 10

0:43

, 1988

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.

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Eddie came back to work

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today and actually said hello to me . Hello

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, you're so fucking cool . Seems to be warming up to me a little . We'll

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see how that goes . Oh

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, I'm sure it's gonna go great . Working full time is taking

1:00

more out of me than I ever thought it would . Three

1:04

exhausting days I

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feel like I need to go out more to blow off steam . Last

1:12

night I went to a sports bar and watched the game , had

1:20

a few too many and I'm feeling it . This morning

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I

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didn't get home until two in the morning but

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as my head hit the pillow I was out like

1:31

a light . Out like a light

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down , like syndrome . Even

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though I'm hung over like shit this morning

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I'm actually feeling pretty good

1:40

, like I'm finally doing

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something pretty cool with my life . Once

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I've got my body back , my

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dreams will be realized . May

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29 , 1988

1:57

. Been having trouble

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getting a hold of the fuck face . I sold

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my Bonneville to Think he's

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moved a couple times since I sold it to him . Just

2:06

my luck . I would sell it to a fucking sleazebag

2:08

like that . Nonetheless

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, I'm gonna keep trying until I find him

2:13

. This is an opportunity I'm not

2:15

gonna let slip away . This

2:17

is mine , she's mine

2:19

, she's mine as

2:24

far as work is concerned , I'm starting

2:26

to really get annoyed with some of my kids . There's

2:29

a few sixth graders who don't wait for me and

2:31

try to cross before I can do the assist

2:33

. I've told them repeatedly

2:35

to wait , but they keep ignoring

2:38

my warnings . Eddie's

2:40

getting pretty fed up with them too . We've

2:42

talked about it and we both agree that these

2:44

kids are messing with the wrong

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fucking people . If they don't

2:48

watch themselves , I'll take matters

2:50

into my own hands , and they're not gonna

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like it one little bit Believe

2:56

me . June

3:12

15 , 1988

3:15

. Finally

3:17

I got a lucky break . Jesus

3:19

loves me . Yesterday

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, on the bus ride home after work , I saw

3:24

my Bonneville parked in the Hooters parking

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lot over on Greenway Avenue . Stop

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, stop , stop , stop , stop . Love you all right here . Got

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out at the next stop , walked back

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and waited around for a while

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, but the guy never came out . Eventually

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I just left a note with my telephone number

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. Call me , boy . I know it's just a

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matter of time now before my Bonnie

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and I are reunited . Afterwards

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I went in and had a beer

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and then ended up having another

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one , another

3:54

one , a

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couple more , another

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one , a

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few . To

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make a long story short , I missed the last

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bus and had to walk home through the pouring

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fucking rain . I

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didn't get home until after almost four

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in the end this morning I'm

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feeling really fucking shitty . Maybe

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I'll just call in sick again . Mr

4:32

Jakeman doesn't like it when I call in sick

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and lately he's been giving me a really hard

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time about it . Way to go , boss man . Last

4:39

week he warned me that I've been taking too many

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sick days . Well , fuck you

4:43

. If he felt as crappy as I do

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right now , he wouldn't fucking go to work either . Asshole

4:48

. June

5:06

16th 1988

5:08

. Well , mr

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Jakeman put me on probation today and

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he cut back my hours , big Boss

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man making his move . If that didn't

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piss me off enough , when I got home

5:20

the guy called about my Bonneville . He

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told me he'd sell it back to me for 5000

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fucking dollars . That's

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more than twice what I sold it to him for Fucking

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Jerk , fucking Jerk . I

5:33

told him that I didn't have enough money right now . Fuck

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, I don't have enough money right now

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. I just got put on probation at

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work but he didn't give two shit

5:42

. You just caught me a break , man . He fucking hung

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up on me . He wouldn't give me his number so

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I can't even get a hold of him when I do get

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the money together . Fuck , fuck

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, what a piece of shit

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. Fucking crappy day it's

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been . He's just joined the even

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Steven Club and he's at the top

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of the fucking list . June

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27th 1988

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. So

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I've been transferred to a different school district

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. Kick me while . I'm down this one is even further

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away out on the far east

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side in a totally crummy part of

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town . Takes me almost two

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hours to get there by bus and I

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have to transfer three times just

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to get within a 20 minute walk of the

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school . Mr Jakeman

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is not fucking around with me anymore

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. He told me that I was within a

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cunt hair of losing my job

6:40

. What a disgusting thing to say

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to me . With a mouth like that , they

6:45

should fire his ass too Sleaze back . I

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think I might just send a little letter to Mr Jakeman's

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supervisor just to let him know

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what kind of scummy ass working for

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him . That should get him off my ass for

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a while , because I'm sick of this shit

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. August

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12th 1988

7:20

Summer

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school is finally over , so I have a few

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weeks before school begins again in September

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. It's time to chill out

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, put my feet up and watch a few

7:31

baseball games on TV . Go

7:35

Horia . Yeah , I'm gonna hang out with

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some of my new partners at work and they

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are way cooler than Eddie and those

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south side jackoffs Fucking no

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way . My friend buddy and his pals

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are showing me a side of this town I have never

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seen before . They've been turning

7:50

me on to some serious shit

7:52

. It's a whole different

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lifestyle with these guys . Really Nothing

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but topless dancers , hard

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rock and hard cocks every

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day and every night . We're

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driving to Atlantic City tonight to spend a

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few days gambling and horror . Might

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be a while before I see my Bonneville again

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, since I've been dipping into my car account

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. In fact

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, I've pretty much cleaned it out for this trip . I

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don't really care , though , because I really

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need to get away for a few days To

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clear my mind and to get refocused

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. August

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14th 1988

8:48

. Eddie showed up

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at work today . It was weird

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because I haven't seen him since I got transferred

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to this shithole . He kept

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acting all scared , like someone was watching

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him . He kept looking over his shoulder

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and then almost jumped out of his skin when a black

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sedan squealed through the intersection

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, almost ran him down before finally

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speeding off . Of course , half

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the kids around me saw it , so they were

9:13

scared too . Whoa , whoa , whoa , don't cry

9:15

. Nobody got hurt , it's alright

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. But

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nonetheless , even though I was surrounded

9:26

, eddie ran over to me and whispered I've

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got to talk to you Tonight . It's important

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, eddie . It's important . We

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made plans to meet at Reed Park by the fountain

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at eight o'clock , but Eddie never showed

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up . That's a bad sign . Today he's not

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at work . I can call him later

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, but I really have no idea

9:51

what's going on . That's a real bad sign . It's

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getting weird . The

10:02

last thing he said to me was Jakeman's

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not who you think he is . I had

10:07

no idea what he was saying , but

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he looked downright scared . I

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know things have been tense between us lately

10:15

, but I hope he's okay . I've

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never been so scared in my life .

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We're going to be doing our sight , so

10:48

be sure to keep a low profile on

10:50

sharing , subscribing and

10:53

liking Until next

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time . Co-conspirators , stay

10:57

alive and spread the

10:59

word . The

11:02

Crossing Guard tapes was written and produced

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by Jim Waters , featuring

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the voice talent of Tommy Nicolai

11:09

, pat Waters and Neil Kite

11:12

, with original music from

11:14

Pendulum Incorporated . Technical

11:16

support and marketing courtesy

11:19

of Jazz Caravan .