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business. You're

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listening to Comedy

1:40

Central. America loves

1:42

guns! Hell I love guns,

1:45

but I also hate guns.

1:47

Another mass shooting in America? Another

1:49

mass shooting. Yet another mass shooting.

1:51

So I was wondering, what if

1:53

there was a world... where people

1:55

could keep their guns and have

1:58

no mass shootings. Welcome to Switzerland,

2:00

the neutral country most known for

2:02

its cobblestone streets perfect for skipping,

2:04

its clocks, sophisticated pocket knives, and

2:06

guns. Turns out peaceful Switzerland is

2:08

one of the most heavily armed

2:10

nations in the world. And like

2:12

America, they love their guns. Yet

2:14

they have almost zero gun violence.

2:17

How the fuck is that possible.

2:19

Luckily, I ran into an expert.

2:21

Is that a gun in your

2:23

pocket or you just... Oh no,

2:25

that's a gun. Meet Miko. For

2:27

20 plus years, he's been a

2:29

firearms instructor for law enforcement personnel,

2:31

military, and special forces. He also

2:33

happens to be one hunk of

2:35

a man. So, Thor, tell me

2:38

about Swiss gun culture. We respect

2:40

the guns because we have a

2:42

mandatory service. A man goes to

2:44

the army, they get a training

2:46

and a rifle in case of

2:48

the invasion. Which to be fair

2:50

is a real threat, since the

2:52

last time Switzerland was invaded was

2:54

in 1798, before color was invented.

2:57

So of course they have a

2:59

militia. The culture is a little

3:01

bit different, comparing to some other

3:03

country. You're familiar that I'm American,

3:05

right? You can just say these

3:07

things to my face. You don't

3:09

have to say other countries. I

3:11

think the gun culture in America

3:13

is getting out of hand. This

3:16

is a joke. There should be

3:18

common sense gun loss. Common sense.

3:20

That's not our strength. Yeah, I've

3:22

noticed that. Yeah, well, I can

3:24

say that, but I don't like

3:26

it when you say that. Okay.

3:28

But what we do have is

3:30

that good old American gun freedom.

3:32

You know how easy it is

3:34

to get a gun in the

3:37

US? I just go to Walmart,

3:39

shh, give them the money, gun.

3:41

I know. My uncle, Paul. out

3:43

of his truck, he's got a

3:45

bunch of guns. My brother Todd

3:47

has a gun, you want to

3:49

use it? Boom, borrow for the

3:51

weekend. That's nice. Not really. In

3:53

Switzerland, you can get a gun

3:56

from your grandparents or from your

3:58

father, but you still have... to

4:00

do the paperwork. Even if I

4:02

get a gun for my grandpa,

4:04

I still got to tell the

4:06

cops about it? Yeah. That's crazy,

4:08

because in most states in America,

4:10

you can buy a gun almost

4:12

immediately without any background check. But

4:15

not in Switzerland. You applied the

4:17

permit from the police, you provide

4:19

clearance of your criminal record that

4:21

you don't have any convictions, wait

4:23

for two weeks. What if it's

4:25

a small crime? What if you

4:27

got caught urinating in public? You

4:29

got caught for sleeping with your

4:31

cousin because you didn't know it

4:34

was a cousin because it was

4:36

at your family reunion and she

4:38

looked like she worked at catering.

4:40

What if it's like assaulting a

4:42

police officer, but really you were

4:44

just tickling them? She can't be

4:46

responsible of following some other simple

4:48

rules in society to behave. Why

4:50

should you have a gun? You

4:52

don't need to raise your voice

4:55

over this? Was there even a

4:57

payoff to all these rules? How

4:59

many school shootings have there been?

5:01

None. What about malls? Everybody people

5:03

should... No. What about like major

5:05

holidays? People get shot up at

5:07

major holidays here? Nothing. Come on

5:09

with all those guns they had

5:11

to have at least one mass

5:14

shooting somewhere. But they haven't had

5:16

one since? You say agree, Abley?

5:18

You had a mass shooting 17

5:20

years ago. We have one every

5:22

17 minutes. Yeah, I have a

5:24

change in. For example, the Munition,

5:26

some plu, important, with the disarmah.

5:28

This is something that I'm having

5:30

a hard time comprehending. You learned

5:33

from a mistake, and you made

5:35

an improvement in the law. That's

5:37

so Europe. And while Switzerland's last

5:39

mass shooting was in 2001, America

5:41

has had... No, keep going. No,

5:43

more. More? Yeah, there you go.

5:45

Over 1900 mass shooting since 2012,

5:47

averaging to about one a day.

5:49

Which is why Miko felt I

5:52

needed to be properly trained before

5:54

I headed back to the states.

5:56

We have to talk about safety

5:58

first. Can I like... Like with

6:00

this one? Yeah, just leave it

6:02

along. Don't touch it. How are we

6:04

going to shoot it if I can't

6:07

touch it? Let me explain you the

6:09

rules first. So, number one thing that

6:11

you have to remember is that you

6:14

always treat the guns as if they're

6:16

loaded. Because probably most of

6:18

the accidents that happens happens

6:20

with empty guns. All right, so

6:23

this one here, this- Don't touch it.

6:25

Don't touch it. I think you don't

6:27

pay enough, you know, what I'm saying-

6:29

I got a feeling that you're not

6:31

paying attention. What? No, I am.

6:34

Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's

6:36

blow some shit up. Meeko, when you

6:38

load these things, you ever get a

6:40

little bit of a erection? Do

6:43

exactly what I say, okay? Okay.

6:45

All right, pay attention. Pay attention.

6:47

Pay attention. Okay, and slowly

6:50

press back until the gun

6:52

goes off. Jesus! This scares the

6:54

shit out of me. I'm glad we

6:56

had that safety instruction. This is

6:58

the dream. Shooting guns without the

7:00

fear of getting shot? This is

7:03

where America should be. All we

7:05

need to do is keep ammo

7:07

separate and have universal criminal and

7:09

mental background checks. Have extremely strict

7:12

open carry laws, justification for ownership.

7:14

Send written requests to authorities and...

7:16

Basically just change our entire gun

7:18

culture. We can do that, right?

7:21

It's not really that fun when

7:23

you keep shitting yourself. You get

7:25

used to it. No,

7:31

this isn't a green screen.

7:34

This is real, disgusting Switzerland.

7:36

A neutral country full of

7:39

non-competitive chocolate-eating yodlers. And they're

7:41

also full of guns. In

7:43

my previous report, I trained

7:46

with firearms expert, Mico. Mico,

7:48

look, I shot some holes

7:51

in the Swiss cheese. I get... I put

7:53

the... I learned that when it comes

7:55

to gun culture, Switzerland has

7:57

a few more regulations than...

7:59

And thanks to these gun

8:01

regulations and strict ammunition control, Switzerland

8:04

has a murder rate of nearly

8:06

zero. Sure, that's a great statistic,

8:09

but how safe can it really

8:11

be? To learn more about their

8:13

gun culture, I attended the world's

8:16

largest annual shooting festival right here,

8:18

and... Holy shit, that's a lot

8:20

of guns. Even that baby has

8:23

a gun. There's not enough training

8:25

in the world to prepare me

8:27

for this so I brought my

8:30

two secret weapons my translator Pierre

8:32

and my supermanly rock-hard American vest

8:35

Why are you wearing a pussy

8:37

West? What is what is it

8:39

here? Pussy vest. Oh, that's that's

8:42

funny Pussy vest. Why aren't you

8:44

wearing a pussy vest? People are

8:46

walking around with guns because it's

8:49

safe. Oh my god, what is

8:51

that? Oh my god They're shooting,

8:54

no worries. They're shooting. Yeah, shooting

8:56

over there, not here. How many

8:58

accidents have happened here? Nine. Nine

9:01

accidents. Nine accidents? No, no, no.

9:03

Zero. Zero. Zero. Zero. I thought

9:05

you said nine. Nine. Okay. It's

9:08

a German language. It's a German

9:10

language. I know in the United

9:12

States, American, this is dangerous. But

9:15

in the Switzerland, we have Radisson.

9:17

We have rules and this. Ryan

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14:20

now I'm standing on top

14:22

of Lake Erie well I'm

14:25

actually on a boat

14:27

that's on you know how

14:29

that works recently All

14:40

right, can we go back? I

14:42

think I'm gonna pue. Local activist

14:44

Markey Miller is one of the

14:46

human people responsible for getting the

14:48

Lake Erie Personhood Initiative passed. Our

14:50

premise was to change the notion

14:53

that nature is merely property and

14:55

that if you own the permit,

14:57

that you get to destroy it

14:59

to harm it. So by giving

15:01

Lake Erie its own set of

15:03

rights, we have a better way

15:05

of enforcing protections. How far can

15:07

this go? A lake is a

15:09

person? What's next? It's a swimming

15:12

pool a person? Is a dog

15:14

a person? Is a child a

15:16

person? Do you see how slippery

15:18

this slope is? Well, much like,

15:20

you know, a child, we often

15:22

have someone else speak on their

15:24

behalf. And I think that tends

15:26

to be our relationship with Lake

15:28

Erie, that we become trustees of

15:31

this lake. You can be honest

15:33

here. I'm from Michigan. Anyone that's

15:35

been down here knows that people

15:37

here, they kind of marched to

15:39

their own drummer. Sure. Definitely not

15:41

at all. So making a lake

15:43

into a person is clearly a

15:45

weird sex thing, but Markey and

15:48

her fellow conservationists have even more

15:50

selfish motivations. The toxic water situation

15:52

in Ohio that prompted the governor

15:54

to declare a state of emergency.

15:56

Lake Erie, a major source of

15:58

drinking water, serves 400,000 people. We

16:00

lost access to our drinking water

16:02

for three... days. It impacted 500,000

16:04

people. They couldn't bathe, they couldn't

16:07

touch the water, you couldn't do

16:09

your laundry, wash your dishes. Water

16:11

became a really scarce commodity. It

16:13

wasn't available. Oh, God damn, that's

16:15

good. We realized how vulnerable

16:17

we were and how precious the

16:20

resource was that it could be

16:22

taken away just like that.

16:24

It is something that we enjoy,

16:26

isn't it? But is turning

16:28

your lake into a person

16:30

really the best way to

16:32

protect it? Apparently so. According

16:34

to the Community Environmental Legal

16:36

Defense Fund, which has successfully

16:38

turned nature into persons in

16:40

places as exotic as Ecuador,

16:42

New Zealand, and Pennsylvania. Well,

16:44

we describe it more as

16:46

the right to live, to flourish,

16:48

exist, be healthy. But yeah, in our

16:51

legal world, we use personhood rights. I

16:53

mean, what is a person? Tish. Is

16:55

this lake a person? A person? It's

16:58

living. It's living. Okay. What about that

17:00

river? Yeah, it's living and there's life

17:02

all around it and in it and

17:04

it's living. Is this a person? Oh

17:07

my God, Jesus, sorry. Why was

17:09

that there? Why was that there? Why

17:11

was that in there? What do you

17:13

say to your critics that say, this

17:16

is absolutely bad shit? crazy. I don't

17:18

find this crazy at all because corporations

17:20

have had personhood rights so they're not

17:23

even a living entity and yet nature

17:25

that we depend on is not considered

17:27

having the same rights that we do

17:29

or the corporations do. And there's tons

17:31

of opposition to giving Lake Erie the

17:33

rights of a person from farms, the

17:35

state government, fishermen with IBS, basically anyone

17:38

else trying to get rid of their

17:40

toxic dumps. Found out that... BP was

17:42

basically the sole funder of the

17:44

campaign against the Lake Erie Bill

17:46

of Rights. They spent. BP. BP.

17:48

Yep. Black people. You know, I always

17:50

knew. Is that? British Petroleum.

17:52

British Petroleum. Can we

17:55

cut that? Can we put that

17:57

part out? British Petroleum. They do have

17:59

a refinery. not far off from

18:01

Toledo, but I think that it

18:03

was more about you know not

18:06

wanting this idea of rights of

18:08

nature to to take off but

18:10

you know we do live here

18:13

and we're not going to sit

18:15

back and be poisoned. You know

18:17

Markey I have to admit when

18:20

I came here I thought I

18:22

thought it was bullshit Markey I

18:24

kind of thought you were this

18:27

crazy woman who decided to make

18:29

Lake Erie a person. But here

18:31

you are on the battlegrounds every

18:33

day fighting against big agriculture, fighting

18:36

against the state of Ohio, fighting

18:38

for this beautiful body of water.

18:40

The real hero here. Yeah, you

18:43

a little bit. But even more

18:45

so than that, I'm the one

18:47

who's showcasing you. So if anything,

18:50

I'm the hero. And that's why

18:52

I love this story. So maybe

18:54

a person can make a difference.

18:57

And maybe a lake can become

18:59

a person. And maybe you can

19:01

even get married to the handsome,

19:04

sensitive correspondent who saved it. I

19:06

do. Because true love is pure.

19:08

It is deep. It is clear.

19:11

It's perfect and it tastes sweet.

19:14

Why didn't

19:17

you tell

19:21

me there's

19:25

something wrong

19:28

with this

19:32

water? while

19:36

dressed like kids whose divorced dads

19:39

made their Halloween costumes. And these

19:41

World War II reenactment rejects have

19:43

one other thing in common. They

19:46

are angry. But what do they

19:48

have to be so angry about?

19:51

I'm a white guy. Things are

19:53

great. Cops don't pull me over.

19:55

I pull them over and ask

19:58

for a bottle opener. Thanks, Officer.

20:00

No, you have a great. There's

20:02

no logical reason why the alt-right

20:05

should be so angry. They're kind

20:07

of winning. But what if there

20:10

was a deeper reason for their

20:12

frustration? Across the alt-right movement, leaders

20:14

are telling young men not to

20:17

masturbate. It is... Whoa, wait. What?

20:19

Clinical psychologist Dr. David Lay, has

20:21

a theory about why these young

20:24

men are so angry. They're not

20:26

strangling their pepes. They know how

20:28

to masturbate. They're not going side

20:31

to side, right? They know it's

20:33

up and down? I don't think

20:36

this is a technique issue. They

20:38

are actually trying not to masturbate.

20:40

You should take me hours. Now,

20:43

it's like... Yeah, you know what

20:45

I mean? Well, I have one

20:47

hand, so, you know, it... It

20:50

gets lots of practice. This guy

20:52

masturbates. Dr. Lay explained that the

20:55

main proponents of this no-wank philosophy

20:57

were the proud boys. Masterbation is

20:59

lack of impulse control. The proud

21:02

boys believe that not masturbating increases

21:04

their testosterone and makes them more

21:06

desirable to women, which brings up

21:09

one question. Is it working for

21:11

the proud boys? Research actually finds

21:14

that less masturbation reduces testosterone. So

21:16

there's evidence that masturbating makes you

21:18

a more masculine man. A lot

21:21

of really good things happen in

21:23

your body and your brain, but

21:25

also research is finding that people

21:28

who watch more pornography, they are

21:30

more feminist, and interestingly they develop

21:32

more egalitarian values over time. You're

21:35

right. I watch a lot of

21:37

gangbangs, and one day I thought,

21:40

oh my God, women have it

21:42

so hard. This isn't fair. 95

21:44

guys and one girl. We need

21:47

some better representation here. And the

21:49

Proud Boys are just the tip.

21:51

There are stroke shamers all over

21:54

the alt-right. So Canadian psychologist Dr.

21:56

Jordan Peterson, he's leader in the

21:59

alt-right movement in Canada. And he

22:01

tells young men, there's nothing noble

22:03

about masturbating to pornography. It's terrible.

22:06

I mean, what else are they

22:08

going to do up there in

22:10

between periods of hockey? That's noble?

22:13

That's healthy. Exactly. That's healthy. David

22:15

Duke, who is a former grand

22:17

wizard of the KKK. He believes

22:20

that pornography is a Jewish conspiracy

22:22

to get young white men to

22:25

masturbate instead of procreating. And so

22:27

the white race dies out. What

22:29

is it about the Jews with

22:32

these guys? And speaking to which,

22:34

this far-right moratorium on salami wrestling

22:36

has been going on longer than

22:39

you think. The Nazis taught young

22:41

men not to masturbate. Nazis. Nazis

22:44

used sexual suppression as a way

22:46

to increase malleability in people. If

22:48

we can get people to give

22:51

up masturbation, we can get them

22:53

to do anything. First they came

22:55

for our flashlights, and I said

22:58

nothing. So it's not just the

23:00

insidious beliefs mob violence and haircuts,

23:03

the alt-right jack this off the

23:05

Nazis, too? They're teaching these kids

23:07

to hate themselves, to be ashamed

23:10

of themselves. And then they can

23:12

exploit them. Wow. They go down

23:14

this rabbit hole of these extreme

23:17

dangerous beliefs and become radicalized. So

23:19

what you're saying is masturbation can

23:21

save lives. Definitely. You know what?

23:24

Let's do it right now. Let's

23:26

show them all. Let's go. I

23:29

love talking to you, man. Come

23:31

on. Take out your damn! We

23:33

can't show you the rest of

23:36

that interview, but I will say,

23:38

when I think about these young

23:40

people being manipulated into joining hate

23:43

groups, it makes me very angry

23:45

and frustrated and... Excuse me for

23:48

one second. Anyway... If you or

23:50

anyone you know seems to be

23:52

getting drawn into the alt-right... Before

23:55

buying that teaky torch, try lighting

23:57

the one inside. your khakis first.

23:59

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24:02

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24:04

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off. Knicks for your leaks

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for your life. What

27:02

the hell is this? This was

27:04

the alien-ware training facility for e-sports

27:06

team liquid Complete with scrimmage stations

27:09

a warroom PR department a team

27:11

coach and even an in-house chef

27:13

The team star whose name is

27:16

Taco was acquired from Brazil's top

27:18

team. This is a real sport.

27:21

You call yourself an athlete? Yes,

27:23

of course to compete we go

27:25

to tournaments. We travel a lot

27:28

We got some money Mr. Taco

27:30

do every day? Just practice? Yeah.

27:32

I have a former professional tennis

27:35

player. That's what I would call

27:37

like a real sport. There is

27:39

an opponent and you would relish

27:42

the opportunity to defeat them with

27:44

your racket. What do you actually

27:46

have to show for what you're

27:49

doing? Come on. I have a

27:51

really strong finger. A finger? Yes,

27:53

this finger. I will kill at

27:56

least one million people. That fingers

27:58

killed one million... Yes. At least.

28:00

Taco is referring to his kills

28:03

and counter-strike, a game where guys shoot

28:05

other guys before a bomb goes off,

28:07

apparently. How is this a sport? I

28:09

won the Ann Arbor Junior Open at

28:12

11 years old. How hard can it

28:14

be to pound on these dorts? What

28:16

are you staring at, huh? I don't

28:18

know, whoop your ass next. To the

28:21

left. You think it's... Oh, Jesus, Christ!

28:23

I shot him four times, he shoots

28:25

me once and I die. These games

28:27

were clearly rigged against more muscular athletes.

28:30

Oh Jesus, how don't I keep dying,

28:32

Taco? But who's paying for these

28:34

cucks to sit around all day

28:37

and mash buttons? Apparently guys like

28:39

three-time NBA champion Rick Fox, owner

28:41

of e-sports franchise Echo Fox. What

28:44

are you doing with these nerds, man?

28:46

You're a real athlete. And so are they.

28:48

What the shit are you talking

28:50

about? Me and you, we played

28:52

real sports. You know, you can

28:55

see our balls in our pants

28:57

when we played. Were you an

28:59

athlete? Oh yeah. Yeah. I

29:02

played professional tennis. I was

29:04

ranked 864 in the world.

29:06

Oh, okay. You win a

29:08

couple tournaments? No, I didn't win

29:11

the tournaments, but... How much

29:13

money did you make in your career?

29:15

You made $11,000. error. I think there

29:17

was no shame around pursuing a career

29:20

in professional sports because you could get

29:22

a scholarship to college, which by the

29:24

way you can get as an e-sports player

29:26

now. There's a number of colleges that

29:29

are building e-sports arenas on their campuses.

29:31

This is all great, but let's get

29:33

down to brass tax here. How much

29:35

do these e- fleets make? Probably the

29:38

best top laner in the world in

29:40

one of our games. He makes probably

29:42

800,000. What? And while players

29:44

like Taco made over

29:46

800K last year, other

29:49

top gamers earned upwards

29:51

of $4 million. And

29:53

thanks to advertising and

29:55

sponsorships, revenues will top

29:57

$1.4 billion this year!

29:59

Are you kidding me? But

30:01

what really makes it legit is

30:04

Vegas sports books take bets on

30:06

it. So I did what anyone

30:08

would do. Sold my dog for

30:10

3,000 bucks and put it all

30:13

on team liquid at the Barclays

30:15

Center. I'll buy them back after

30:17

I win. Amsterdam, London, Cologne, Montreal.

30:20

I don't game of shit. You're

30:22

in Brooklyn now, baby. This is

30:24

the Barclays Center. This is where

30:27

champions play and the Brooklyn Nets.

30:29

We're gonna heal as a team,

30:31

or we're gonna die as individuals.

30:34

Did I make myself clear? Yeah,

30:36

I did. Come on! All right,

30:38

ignore all that, and we just

30:41

followed the game pun. Let's go,

30:43

guys. It was time for Team

30:45

Liquid to win in the semi-finals

30:47

and make me some money. Team

30:50

Liquid! Let's go! You definitely felt

30:52

like a real sport. These gaming

30:54

gladiators were ready for bounds. Ladies

30:57

and gentlemen, the moment, you've all

30:59

been waiting for team liquid boxes

31:01

gambit. Click your mouth! They flex

31:04

their fingers. They click their button.

31:06

They adjusted their headsets. Come on!

31:08

Liquid! Darko! Darko! And let's start

31:11

the wave! Starting over here! It's

32:43

tax season and by now I

32:45

know we're all a bit tired

32:47

of numbers, but here's an important

32:49

one you need to hear. $16.5

32:51

billion. That's how much money in

32:53

refunds the IRS flagged for possible

32:55

identity fraud last year. Here's another.

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That's how many data points

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