Podcast Today

Podcast Today

Released Monday, 13th January 2020
 1 person rated this episode
Podcast Today

Podcast Today

Podcast Today

Podcast Today

Monday, 13th January 2020
 1 person rated this episode
Rate Episode

Episode Transcript

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0:01

You're listening to Comedy Central. Are

0:04

you a busy person who's always on the go, This

0:07

next podcast is for you. No

0:10

bull, no filler, just

0:13

news and analysis that's straight to

0:15

the points. No beating around the bush,

0:17

no wasting your time, no

0:20

repetition. We know you're a busy

0:22

person who's always on the go. This next

0:24

podcast is for you. Buckle

0:26

your seatbelts. Daisie Leda and Michael Costa

0:28

present Podcast Today.

0:42

Hello, and welcome to Podcast Today,

0:44

where we cut through the noise and bring you real

0:46

talk about what's happening today.

0:49

I'm Dassie, I'm Michael Costa.

0:51

Before we get to today's episode, some quick

0:53

housekeeping. Thursday's pod will

0:56

be released at six pm instead of

0:58

one pm because I have to take my dog to

1:00

the dentist. Also a little more housekeeping. Friday's

1:02

show is a listener mail bag, sending

1:04

those questions to Pod Today letters

1:07

at mind spring dot email. One

1:09

last bit of housekeeping, Thursday's

1:11

pod will be at one pm again, my dog

1:13

no longer has a cavity. Terrific. Turns

1:16

out my dog didn't have a cavity, he just stated sharpie.

1:18

We should also mention tickets are now on sale

1:20

to our live shows in Oklahoma

1:23

City, Minneapolis, and Hartford. Right

1:25

use code. I'm with Podcasts and Antonio,

1:28

Jacksonville, Biloxi, Philadelphia.

1:30

Right and you can useroite Miami,

1:33

Green Bay, Providence, Atlanta,

1:36

Chesapeake, Fresno, Norfolk

1:38

and boise Is at all can I announce the code?

1:40

Now? Use code? I'm with Papolis,

1:43

St. Louis and Providence. We'll

1:45

see you as soon. Use code. I'm with podcast

1:48

for two percent off early bird tickets forgot

1:50

to mention Branson, Missouri. We're also going to

1:52

be in Branson, Missouri. Just

1:57

a reminder that you should follow at podcast

1:59

Today on Twitter, Instagram, LinkedIn,

2:02

Facebook, TikTok, Interest, my Space,

2:05

friend and of course the weightlifting

2:07

forums. This

2:11

episode of Podcast Today is brought to you by

2:13

shrimp Fix. Every week, shrimp Fix

2:15

sends you a twenty four pound box of delicious

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golf shrimp. Are you tired of walking down the sidewalk

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with a big net full of shrimp? Try shrimp

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Fix. It's shrimp delivered straight

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to your front door. Knock, knock, who's

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there? Look on your doorstep. It's a big box of

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shrimp. Are you still going to the grocery

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store to buy shrimp what are you

2:33

amish? Log onto shrimp fix

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dot com Backslash Podcast Today and

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your first order will come with a free

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bucket of tartar sauce. Before

2:46

we get started, we have an exciting announcement about

2:48

a new partnership. Podcast

2:50

Today is teaming up with the good folks at vote

2:52

spake dot org for a great project.

2:55

Here's the deal. Ahead of the election, votes

2:57

bank dot org and Podcast Today are going to

2:59

make polling sites brand spanking

3:02

new. That's right, DESI. We're going to renovate

3:04

in d vermin church basement's, school

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gyms, abandoned circuit cities, anywhere

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votes are going to be cast. No more polling

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places will be closed because of raccoon investations.

3:13

Unlike the last time, all you have to do to

3:15

participate is go to vote spank dot

3:17

org. Sign up, give them your name, email

3:19

address, birthday, home address, work

3:22

address, income level, to show up in some

3:24

loose fitting clothes, preferably all black,

3:26

Bring some work gloves, a ski mask, and

3:28

twenty feet of nautical grade rope, and you're

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all set. Let's spank this election.

3:33

Flat palms, big wind up firm,

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context spank dot org. Together,

3:38

we can make democracy brands spanking

3:41

new. You

3:46

know, I think it's time to introduce our guest. Yeah,

3:48

that's right. He's a correspondent for The Daily

3:50

Show with Trevor Noah Jabooky Young White.

3:53

Thanks so much for having me. You know,

3:55

the studio is a lot smaller than I thought it would be.

4:04

Now, Jabouky, before we talk shop,

4:06

you have a book to promote. Yes, well,

4:08

it's actually more like a Twitter account.

4:11

It's my Twitter account at jubooky

4:13

Cool and where can our listeners find your Twitter

4:15

account on Twitter? Fantastic. I can't wait

4:17

to read it. Before we get to Jabouky.

4:20

We just have a little more housekeeping. Podcast

4:22

Today is looking for new theme music.

4:25

So if you're an amateur composer and you want to

4:27

compose our theme song for free, you

4:29

can submit your compositions at podcast

4:31

Today Music at prodigy dot

4:34

net. Just a few guidelines. Your

4:36

theme song has to be original, it has to be

4:38

less than thirty seconds. You must

4:40

include a flu there can't be any screams

4:42

in the background, and it must be in a frequency

4:44

that sends marine life into a frenzy.

4:46

Lyrics cannot include slurs against

4:48

Macedonians or terms, but they must

4:50

include at least two references to Sigourney

4:53

Weaver. Get those submissions in. Guys

4:55

can't wait to hear that? Okay. We want to remind our listeners

4:57

to check out our sister pod Podcast

4:59

Today This week. This

5:01

week. On Podcast Today this week, we'll have

5:04

some amazing guests including Montana

5:06

governor and former presidential candidate

5:08

Steve Bullock. Is he related to Sandra

5:10

Bullock? That's what we're going to find out? Tune

5:12

in. You know what what I was thinking if Sandra Bullock were

5:15

the first lady she turned the White House into

5:17

the lake House. You know what I'm saying. I

5:19

don't think I do. What does that mean? You know?

5:22

The lake House two thousand

5:24

six, Kanu Reeves and Sandra

5:26

Bullock exchange love letters through mysterious

5:28

time space portal inside of a lake house's mailbox.

5:33

Podcast Today is brought to you by Claire

5:35

Space. Need a website specifically

5:37

dedicated to Claire Danes. Use Claire Space.

5:40

We have thousands of different templates you can

5:42

use to create a website revolving around the actress

5:45

Claire Danes and nothing else. I'm

5:47

serious if you're trying to make the website about muffins

5:49

or something. Then your computer will crash and give you a virus.

5:52

Claire Space, because Claire Danes is a

5:54

national treasure. Cassie, you use Claire

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Space, right, Actually use Claire Space to build

5:58

my internet tribute to it broke down Palace Claire

6:01

Space. If you make a website about Jennifer

6:03

Love Hewett, you're gonna get malware. And now

6:05

it's time to get to the point.

6:10

As always. Get to the Point is sponsored

6:13

by Henry's Rusty Shave Club. Henry's

6:15

Rusty Shave Club was started by two college

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roommates who hated shaving with high priced

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razors, so they decided to do something about

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it. They bought a German factory that had

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been making torture devices until it abruptly

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shut down in but

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was still filled with thousands of boxes

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of used oxidizing seventy four year

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is rough. Shouldn't your shave be too?

6:49

That ad for Henry's Rusty Shave Club is

6:51

sponsored by buck Banger, the fastest,

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easiest way to send money, Costa, use

6:55

buck banger this week? Sure it did so

6:58

Monday, I went to the movies with my buddy. We

7:00

saw Aladdin again wrapping

7:02

Genie. I can't help it anyway,

7:04

We get the tickets, We see the movie. It's magical,

7:07

and on the way out of the parking lot, I run over a

7:09

rare bird. A rare bird, yeah,

7:11

and I rebuild woodpecker crazy

7:13

endangered, huge fine for turning it into

7:16

a road bandcake. So naturally I opened

7:18

my wallet to buy the silence of all the witnesses.

7:20

But oh, I spent my last Jackson.

7:22

I'm Mr Will Smith's heartwarming and humorous

7:25

two or to force. So what do I do?

7:27

I opened the buck banger app send fifty

7:29

dollar bribes to everyone who saw me do it, and

7:31

I'm home by dinner time googling when is Aladdin

7:33

to coming out? By the way, the answer not

7:36

soon enough, Costa.

7:39

You just confess to a crime. What

7:42

the crime of loving Aladdin? If that's

7:44

a crime, then lock me up in solitary

7:46

confinement, preferably with a blu ray

7:48

of Will Smith's Aladdin. Buck

7:50

Banger the easiest way to send money.

7:57

All right, let's get to the point. But before we do,

8:00

we need to address something we said on Monday's

8:02

show. Let's take a list, and

8:09

it's Monday, and before we get started, we have

8:11

some housekeeping, right Tuesday's

8:13

show where we push back to three pm instead

8:15

of one pm. I have to be home at one pm to get

8:17

my latest shipment from shrimp Fix. Hey,

8:20

is it bad if hypothetically a dog

8:22

eats a sharpie? Just

8:26

some housekeeping on that bit of housekeeping. Tuesday's

8:28

show was actually released at three pm

8:31

instead of three instead of one because

8:33

we had more housekeeping than we anticipated, and just

8:35

a bit more housekeeping. We are aiming to have

8:38

less housekeeping going forward. That's

8:40

right, Fewer housekeeping,

8:43

fewer housekeepings. Guys. By the way,

8:45

it's actually houses keeping like Attorneys

8:48

General or acep's Rocky, just

8:50

so you know. And now let's get

8:53

to the point. Quick

8:57

reminder if you like, get to the point as well.

9:00

Other great podcast Today segments like check

9:02

this out, is this real Life? It's only

9:04

Tuesday, and that just happened? Rate

9:06

and Reviewer, Rate and Reviewer, Rate and review

9:09

us on Apple podcast, Stitcher, Spotify,

9:11

Breaker pod Squad, Hewlett Packer,

9:13

Pods, Prodigy, Copy Serve cast and

9:16

earth link Dot website, backslash podcast,

9:18

backslash reviews, backslash backslash,

9:21

and just to clarify because there's been some

9:23

confusion, that's the backslash

9:25

symbol followed by the word backslash.

9:28

If you end that U r L with two backslash

9:30

symbols, it sends you to a pretty out their website.

9:33

It's real jarring stuff actually.

9:35

Anyway, those reviews really help us out. They

9:37

boost our rankings, which allow us to be discovered

9:39

by more people, and they also can serve as

9:41

powerful character statements for us during core proceedings.

9:44

Canty. By the way, shout out to listener

9:46

David the dave Man eighteen your

9:48

reviews saying we were quote awesome help

9:50

me get back custody of my kids. Can

9:52

I go now? Or do you guys want me to weigh

9:55

in on something? No, we're

9:57

ready for you, Yeah, sure are. Our guest today

9:59

is Jabooky young White jabookey. How are you doing?

10:02

You know? I'm pretty good. I'm doing pretty good and

10:04

I just wanted to throw in there. My appearance

10:06

today is brought to you by just the Packaging.

10:09

Do you love coming home to something that you ordered

10:11

online, but you don't have the money to buy lots

10:14

of ship Well, just packaging.

10:16

We'll ship you a big box of tissue, paper,

10:18

bubble wrap and all that other stuff that's

10:20

so fun to open. And that's it. No

10:23

meals to cook, no clothes to try on and send

10:25

back, It's just the packaging.

10:27

Thanks. Before we move on, we've

10:30

got some sad personnel news we

10:32

do. This

10:39

is Michael Costa's final episode of Podcast

10:42

Today. Wait was I

10:44

fired? We are super excited

10:46

about our permanent new host, jabouky

10:49

Young. Why what's up?

10:52

I'm super excited to break down all the issues

10:55

of the day with y'alla Costa. Can you please

10:57

get your ship out of your office now? You can still

11:00

send to Michael cost in our brand new international

11:02

sister pod podcast Today Kosovo.

11:05

Up to the date news and commentary life

11:07

from the Balkans Kosovo, Kosovo

11:09

like the country, just read the paper? Hello

11:14

Podcast Today Kosovo Fans.

11:17

Tickets are now on sale for our live shows

11:19

in Sarajevo to brev nick Chernobyl,

11:22

buch Arest and Northern Czechnia.

11:24

Use code hollow Kosovo for twenties

11:27

ladles off and so I don't even have a passport.

11:29

By the way, a bit of housekeeping. There is now

11:31

an emergency bonus pod

11:34

for our Titanium tier supporters

11:36

on Patriots That's right. Head to our fan page

11:38

right now to hear an exclusive five

11:41

alarm bonus pod that features our extended

11:43

interview with Podcast Today Kosovo host

11:45

Michael Costa, who will have secretly infiltrated

11:48

a Chechen terrorist group people

11:50

point of order? Please has the

11:52

new a Laddin even been released in Kosovo?

11:55

Podcast Today is produced by Tom Baylor

11:57

and Schula Mansfield and recorded at daily

11:59

shows toos in the heart of Manhattan's Little

12:01

Belgrade. Trevor Noah is our managing

12:03

editor. Our research is provided by Miroslav

12:06

Berkovich and bogged On Drakovich.

12:08

Our audio engineer is Petra Mstorovich.

12:11

Legal services provided by the law firm of

12:16

and Eamma Loosovich.

12:18

A man known only as the Scorpion

12:21

is our lookout and unsuspecting uber

12:23

driver named Cynthia is our wheelman,

12:26

and laundry and pet sitting is handled by Zivko

12:29

Vuillardino. Our fabulous

12:31

interns are Greg Rasputin, Lizzie board

12:33

In, the third and Lyle Menendez

12:35

Costa. I want to leave us with any parting words.

12:37

Yeah, actually I just google

12:40

and Aladdin is not in Kosovo

12:42

right now. There's no doesn't seem to be any showtimes

12:45

or movie theaters. This is kind of what keeps

12:47

me grounded. And you

12:50

have nothing to say now both you guess

12:52

you could wait for it to show up on Prime

12:54

and now you're the fucking host all of a sudden. I

12:56

mean, you didn't even know,

12:59

you didn't even know that you were going to be the host.

13:02

But but here's

13:04

a hard work and then you see what the right well,

13:07

you know, I stepped up to the plate, and I think maybe

13:09

that could be a part of the reason pronounced Janovich.

13:12

M m

13:15

h, m

13:46

m m h.

13:53

This has been a Comedy Central podcast

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