0:01

You're listening to DraftKings

0:04

Network.

0:11

This is the Dan Labatore Show with

0:13

the Stukas Podcast.

0:20

Never mind in America, there

0:22

simply cannot be a place in

0:24

the world that is a better place for

0:27

comedy than Los Angeles. Within

0:29

a couple of miles radius, you

0:31

have some giant legendary comedy

0:34

clubs. I saw Patton Oswalt on Sunday.

0:36

I saw Mark Maron on Monday. You've

0:39

got an assortment of things happening this week

0:42

in comedy. And I'm happy to have Brad Williams

0:44

here along with Amin and Charlotte because

0:47

the state of comedy is interesting

0:49

to me. It was already under some duress because

0:51

so many comedians are complaining about

0:53

not having freedom under cancel culture.

0:56

But I'm watching Oswalt and Mark

0:58

Maron and they were both struggling with

1:00

just everything that's happening in the world.

1:03

Both of them

1:04

have arrived in a place where they're thinking

1:06

America as we know it and the world

1:08

as we know it is basically going to be

1:11

gone within eight years. And they're trying to do comedy

1:13

within that construct as everything that happens

1:16

in Israel now is just

1:18

depressing people all over the world.

1:21

So Brad, when you first off,

1:24

there's no place like this, correct?

1:26

New York maybe comes close, but there

1:28

can't be any place like Los Angeles in

1:31

terms of having access to funny.

1:33

Yeah, it's

1:34

there's New York and right now

1:36

Austin, Texas is kind of on the come up with Rogan

1:39

opening his club and on that sixth street

1:41

where his club is located, there's

1:44

like two or three other comedy clubs. So

1:47

but they don't have like the star power

1:49

like you just described where you can go

1:51

to the comedy store and there's three rooms, the comedy

1:54

store in every room. There's a national

1:56

touring headliner that could be selling at a theater. I

1:58

saw Chappelle in the.

1:59

the belly room of the Comedy Store a

2:02

few weeks ago. And that's like, that

2:04

holds 50 people. And I'm sitting here going,

2:06

oh my God, people would be paying thousands of dollars

2:08

to be here right now. It's like watching a star pitcher

2:11

in a minor league rehab assignment. Because

2:13

they're just testing material. You could see they're

2:15

reading from notes and stuff, but it's like it's watching

2:18

them, how it is they craft their act.

2:20

But Marion and Oswald were having legitimate

2:22

difficulties with just the state of the times.

2:25

Yeah, this is where I go for

2:27

the ignorance of his bliss argument for myself. Now,

2:30

Marion, a lot of his comedy is his

2:32

personal thoughts, and

2:35

he's having a lot of thoughts

2:37

right now on the state of the world. Me, personally,

2:40

I don't do that, but

2:42

that's the wonderful part about comedy and

2:44

why also being in Los Angeles is so great. You

2:46

can see whatever comedian

2:49

you want. If you want a certain type

2:51

of comic, you

2:53

can see them if you want dirtier, if you want family

2:56

friendly, if you

2:59

want the geniuses like Marion and

3:01

Patton where they're over at the Largo, that's where you

3:03

saw them. That's like a smaller theater where

3:05

you'll see Conan O'Brien pop up. That's

3:08

not even one of the big clubs down here, right? That's

3:10

just, I mean, you could tell that

3:12

thing is outdated. I was surprised

3:14

that both of those guys were performing there. Yeah,

3:17

but that's where you go in LA. You kind of hone your

3:20

material here in Los Angeles and you go out on the road

3:22

and you take it there. The thing

3:24

about also being here is

3:27

comedians are naturally competitive people. So

3:29

when I see Patton Oswalt go

3:31

up and kill a room and I'm on next,

3:34

now I'm like, shit, I better bring my A-game.

3:37

And then if I do well, then the comedian

3:39

going on after me is like, because we don't

3:41

have typical shows of like host feature

3:43

headliner here. It's just headliner,

3:45

headliner, headliner, headliner for 15 minutes

3:48

each. So there is definitely, sometimes

3:51

I'm about to go on and I'm like, all right, I'm just gonna work

3:53

on some new stuff. And then Ali

3:55

Wong goes on before me and destroys.

3:58

And I'm like, all right. break

4:00

out the old jokes because I'm competitive.

4:02

I want to kill right after

4:04

one of the biggest comics working today. So

4:07

yeah, there is that whole

4:10

iron sharpens iron. We're all getting better because

4:12

we're constantly surrounded by each other. You mentioned

4:14

Rogan. It's been fascinating to watch his

4:16

rise. And I've also been a little

4:18

bit confused to see him and Russell

4:21

Brand emerge as maximum

4:23

truth tellers when I almost always think

4:26

of comedians as liars. I think of

4:28

them as people who just make stuff

4:30

up and I understand that they're going to make stuff up.

4:32

So I was a little surprised when Hassan Minhaj

4:35

got into, I mean, basically

4:37

lost the Daily Show, right? I would

4:39

also say Rogan isn't

4:40

an ultimate truth teller, depending

4:43

like I'm not, you know, check

4:45

your mentions after this, there's no, I

4:47

know, but I'm saying they

4:50

both the Russell Brand and Joe Rogan

4:52

have emerged now as someone as people

4:54

willing to tell you, their audience thinks

4:56

that they're telling more truth than the average

4:58

person when I just find that

5:01

funny as an idea because comedians I

5:03

don't think of as being involved in

5:05

truth. But let me, let me just Hassan Minhaj,

5:07

for those of you who do not know, was

5:10

involved in a great deal of controversy because

5:12

he volunteered in an interview

5:14

that he's just made up parts of his act

5:17

that involve hate crimes against his people.

5:19

Yeah. Well,

5:21

he made up the

5:23

parts where they're personal to him. The

5:25

stories aren't untrue. Like they have

5:27

happened all over the country,

5:29

but his, like

5:32

the part where like, and then this happened to me, that

5:34

part is embellished, which I'll leave

5:36

it to Brad, but I'm like, isn't that what stand-up

5:38

comics do? They take something that's funny and I'm like,

5:40

all right, I'm going to craft a story about how

5:42

I was walking down the street. Like, yeah, we think they were

5:44

walking down the street. Yeah. Whenever

5:47

we say the other day, no, that didn't

5:49

happen the other day. I mean, the other day

5:51

was four years ago and we're still telling this bit.

5:54

But so there is that line

5:57

of course, comedians are going to make stuff

5:59

up. That's what I think. think the comedian is the best

6:01

at is we all lead funny

6:03

lives. The comedian in general is the best at

6:06

finding that incident that has happened to

6:08

many people and finding how

6:10

to change it and find the funny

6:12

in it and so like Amin

6:14

said these things have happened in the world Hassan

6:17

just makes them more personal. I think

6:19

where people got mad at Hassan is

6:21

that because he made them personal it made

6:23

them feel a certain way

6:25

and now when they find out that didn't happen

6:28

to him their feeling feels betrayed.

6:30

There

6:33

might be a line that comedians have that

6:35

we can't make up but I don't know what that

6:37

line is because for me the job of the comedian is ultimately

6:40

to entertain the audience. Were you entertained? You

6:42

felt that thing. Okay mission

6:45

accomplished. I get why people would be

6:47

upset but at the same time

6:50

you step back and you go every

6:52

movie that they said based on a true

6:54

story you think Cool Runnings was a documentary?

6:58

You think they're just you think you think right before

7:00

going down the hill all the guys like feel

7:03

the rhythm. Wake

7:05

up it's bumps at that time. No we make

7:07

stuff up for comedic effect and to entertain

7:10

you the audience so

7:13

enjoy it. And it's not

7:15

even the worst thing Hassan Minhaj has ever done. The

7:18

worst thing Hassan Minhaj has ever

7:20

done I mean you know this because I said this

7:22

on your on your show way way

7:24

back long ago the worst thing Hassan

7:27

Minhaj ever did I was in a celebrity

7:29

basketball game with that guy I

7:32

was on his team we were coming back

7:34

a roaring comeback against the likes

7:36

Bad Bunny was on my team it was before he was

7:39

Bad Bunny it was going amazing. He was

7:41

good Bunny? Yeah he was good Bunny. Mildly

7:43

misbehaving Bunny. Lukewarm bunny and

7:46

then we were coming back Hassan

7:48

gets the ball he's coming down we need

7:50

a three-pointer to tie this ballgame

7:52

up. Ray Allen is on

7:54

the wing. Ray mother

7:57

effing Allen. No,

8:00

he did a couple of big threes in his life. He's

8:02

open? Statistically, he had that

8:04

point, the greatest three-point shooter in

8:06

the history of the NBA. Hassan

8:09

took the shot! No. Why Hassan?

8:11

Ray Allen.

8:12

He could have

8:14

just let Ray take it and said he made it.

8:17

Ah, yes. This

8:20

is an Antonio McDice on the wing.

8:23

This is Ray Allen. And

8:25

Hassan took the shot, so don't go at Hassan

8:28

for bending the truth a little bit

8:31

and entertaining you with his stories. Go at him for

8:33

that. Charlotte, do you know the movie

8:35

Cool Runnings? I don't expect you to. I

8:38

just love that he was referencing the Jamaican

8:40

bobsled team, an Olympic bobsled

8:43

team from 40 years ago. The

8:46

thing about Hassan Minhaj, though,

8:49

and one of the things that I think

8:51

is interesting that's happening in comedy

8:53

where some comedians become the

8:55

modern-day philosophers. They become some

8:58

of our smartest people that we're listening

9:00

to, whether it is Chappelle

9:03

or Bill Maher. I think this is

9:05

a crime. Even if you don't think it's

9:07

an egregious crime, I think

9:09

it's enough to have cost him the Daily Show.

9:12

If you are somebody who is going to be

9:14

in that lane as the host of somebody

9:16

who's comedy but news and we made Jon

9:19

Stewart become a trusted news

9:21

source. I can see that

9:23

because if you're Jim Gaffigan

9:26

and you lie about your experience with

9:28

bacon, that doesn't have the

9:30

necessary weight that Hassan

9:33

Minhaj saying his daughter was sent

9:35

anthrax in the mail, that

9:37

that happens.

9:38

So I get that people are upset. Me

9:41

as the comedian, I kind of see the

9:43

whole thing as being equals where I stand

9:45

back and go,

9:46

yeah,

9:47

we're all comedians. We're

9:49

giving an experience to the audience. I

9:52

get how people can feel betrayed, completely

9:54

understand it, but – and

9:57

if you're – I the

10:00

audience really wants is authenticity.

10:03

We laugh at Jim Gaffigan talking

10:05

about bacon because they're like, yeah, I bet that guy eats

10:08

a lot of bacon. Like, that's authentic.

10:14

When Neil Brennan goes

10:16

on stage and has his thoughts about being

10:18

a neurotic vegan, we look at

10:20

Neil and go, checks out. If

10:23

I went on stage and told jokes about being

10:25

my experiences as a six foot four black man,

10:28

even if they were funny, people

10:31

would be like, we don't think you've actually had that happen

10:33

to you.

10:33

I also think, though, that it depends what

10:36

you are asking of the audience when you tell

10:38

these jokes. Like, saying your

10:40

daughter was sent anthrax engenders

10:43

a lot of sympathy from the audience and

10:45

a lot of feeling for someone

10:47

and thinking how horrible that is. And to find out,

10:50

wait, that wasn't, I just, I spent

10:52

a lot of emotional energy on you and your daughter

10:55

and now you're telling me it didn't happen, whereas if you burn your bacon,

10:57

I'm not gonna feel as bad for you. I

11:00

think the stakes are different and I don't think it's

11:03

all the same. I think it does depend on

11:05

subject material. In a weird way,

11:07

Dan, it reminds me of

11:09

people not being able to discern between

11:11

analysts and

11:13

reporters for sports, for instance,

11:15

right? They'll say, oh, the media's always

11:18

lying. I don't believe this story written by

11:20

Nick Friedel or whatever, why? Well, I saw

11:22

Stephen A. Smith said this on first take.

11:24

Well, no, no, but that's a different role. That's not Stephen

11:26

A. Smith's reporting. That's Stephen A. Smith on a

11:28

debate show and they can't, they don't know the difference.

11:30

I don't think the audience cares to make that discerning

11:33

of a distinction. So it's the same thing for

11:35

me, you know, you talk about Jon Stewart,

11:38

Stephen Colbert, Hassan,

11:41

Roy Wood, all

11:44

these guys, Don Oliver, all these guys

11:46

that host these comedic

11:49

news shows. They are all guys. Yeah,

11:52

Chelsea Hamlin. But

11:55

comedic news shows, right? But

11:57

they're also standup comics. There's

11:59

a difference between. when Hassan hosts

12:01

Patriot Act, which was his show on Netflix, where

12:04

it is fact-based and kind of journalistic

12:07

in nature. When John Oliver does Last

12:09

Week Tonight, it is journalism

12:12

in a sense, even though it's also aggregation.

12:14

What they're doing is they're aggregating other people's journalistic

12:17

work versus when they're on stage,

12:20

they're telling jokes, man, the convenience of people have

12:22

a hard time of dividing the two. Well, but especially

12:25

when it's hate crimes though, right? Because

12:27

that is a personal thing to a lot

12:29

of people and a lot of people have unfortunately

12:31

gone through that. And

12:35

so I get why people are

12:37

upset. So when

12:39

I tell a story about someone

12:42

driving after me in a pickup truck in Odessa,

12:45

Texas, yelling, kill the dwarf, that

12:48

did really happen to me. But I could understand

12:51

why someone would be like, oh, wait, like

12:53

if they found out that was false, they

12:55

would probably be upset because of the feelings

12:58

that that made them feel. But Brad, I'm

13:00

pretty sure you don't like somberly

13:02

just say, and then the guy in a pickup truck. You're

13:06

making a, you're going to make a joke out of it. You're

13:08

going to make a slap. Isn't that the point? Yeah.

13:11

The joke being that he used the correct terminology.

13:14

He didn't say the M word. Yeah.

13:17

Well, he didn't call me a midget. So he was like, all right,

13:19

well, let's hear you out. Progress. Yeah.

13:23

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Hell, maybe you've even had a result in hand

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14:25

Dan Lebertard! That's how it's

14:27

gonna end! I'm mailing it

14:29

in at the end of the retirement. Chris, go get

14:31

me this. It's just gonna be him coming

14:33

out and hitting the one and two notes of that

14:36

kind of thing and you know it. And then

14:38

just giving us finger guns and leaving.

14:40

Baby! You should listen

14:42

to the Greg Cody Show podcast because that's all

14:45

we do for 55 minutes a week is just

14:47

say catchphrases. We even make songs

14:49

about them. And You Know It is a song,

14:52

for crying out loud. That's great. Hopefully

14:54

that's a SUI nominee for best song. And

14:57

you know it, baby, and you know

14:59

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is the Dan Lebertard Show with the

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Stugats!

15:19

I was talking to Brad Williams before we recorded

15:22

this segment. Hi. We're

15:24

both

15:24

Smiths fans. Not Jada

15:27

and Will. Just more

15:29

like this charming man, Smiths. And

15:31

I'd recently seen Morrissey, as I told you

15:33

in the audience. And we were laughing

15:35

about a story that I recently read

15:38

because Morrissey wrote the CEO

15:40

of Whole Foods and Jeff Bezos

15:42

to take the... Funny already, Mike.

15:45

It feels like a random lib generator. Yeah.

15:48

So far. And it's gonna get even nuttier. An

15:51

email? He's firing it off. I like that

15:53

Morrissey right now... He uses

15:55

a quill, but not with a feather from an

15:57

animal. Yeah. Like, yeah.

15:59

pick from his own, his own, his own logs.

16:02

Yeah. So he wrote the Bezos

16:05

and the CEO of whole foods to

16:07

demanding that they remove the

16:09

brand of coconut milk

16:11

from their shelves because the coconut milk

16:14

that they sell there

16:15

is picked by violently trained monkeys

16:19

and Charlotte and I were trying to piece together.

16:21

Well, yeah, there's a grammar issue

16:23

here. So violently trained, is it

16:26

violently comma trained monkey?

16:28

Like the monkeys are trained and they're violent.

16:30

I'm assuming it's that they're trained using

16:32

violent methods because I don't know why Morrissey would

16:34

have issue with a bunch of like really hardo

16:37

monkey

16:37

kicking coconut coconut.

16:39

What are the,

16:42

yeah, like those shots of like

16:45

the Shaolin monks, all training all

16:47

in the field, but it's monkeys. Yeah. It's all just, just,

16:49

just all doing cottas, just

16:52

doing the kill the bill. Like training.

16:55

I, I, I'm kind of down with the

16:57

thought of a violent monkey,

16:59

but I've also never come face to face with

17:01

a violent monkey, especially when I'm in

17:04

the way of the monkey and the coconut.

17:07

I have, I have actually come, I, well,

17:09

I don't know. I'm going to say baboons or monkeys,

17:11

monkey family monkey. Uh, where's Ron

17:14

McGill? Family

17:16

on the ABA. Baboon. Uh, when I

17:18

was in Africa, this is actually

17:20

a funny story involving my wife. I'm going to

17:22

say, I don't think it's the funniest. Thing

17:25

I've seen visually with my wife, but it's

17:27

up there because she was in

17:29

a bathroom and there were a lot of places

17:31

where there were just monkeys

17:33

and those were friendly enough and

17:36

not dangerous, but we were warned

17:38

about the baboons and my wife

17:40

is coming out of a public

17:43

bathroom and she, uh, can't see

17:45

what's outside, but I can see what's

17:48

outside. And I can see that there is a

17:50

baboon approaching. And

17:52

as I'm about to tell her, Hey

17:54

hon, you need to be careful here. What

17:57

happens is she comes sort of face

17:59

to face. with the baboon and

18:01

my wife jumps up and screams

18:04

and runs in the other direction but so does

18:06

the baboon.

18:08

Yes, the baboon ran, they both frightened

18:11

each other and then ran in opposite directions.

18:14

That is an incredible vehicle. That is terrifying.

18:16

Yes. Terrifying for Val. I mean

18:19

we've all heard the 911 call of

18:22

the monkey that ripped off the lady's face and

18:25

I like how there's a- Have we?

18:27

I mean we did talk about- I listened to it twice

18:29

last week. That me there is doing

18:31

a lot of heavy lifting. Is it just me? Yeah.

18:34

I remember the story. We talked to Ron

18:36

McGill about this woman- That's

18:38

true. We met Ron McGill. Had a

18:40

pet expert. Yes, we needed- it is. I think

18:43

that is the original story. We needed an expert

18:45

to talk about should you have that

18:47

as a pet and then the answer was no, obviously

18:50

not because her pet destroyed her face.

18:52

Someone that had grown up watching Saba do Higante,

18:54

I was like I know just the guy. I

18:56

like that you saw a

18:59

baboon about to go face to

19:01

face with the love of your

19:03

life and your response was, uh, hun? I

19:07

wasn't that calm. Where is that between

19:09

fight and flight? I was beginning

19:11

to get out the thought and

19:13

the baboon was not- I'm painting

19:15

this as if they were nose to nose. They were not

19:18

quite that close but they were close enough to frighten

19:20

each other. With the same amount of enthusiasm as you

19:22

would if she had a little bit of lipstick on her teeth. Oh,

19:26

hun, you have a baboon in your circle.

19:36

I do

19:36

think that the visual of the baboon-

19:38

that's like out of the out of Looney Tunes.

19:41

Like them both jumping up in the air and running

19:43

away. That's

19:44

beautiful actually.

19:46

It's high comedy. Where

19:49

were you staying in Africa? That this was- I

19:51

understand that you're out there on safari but

19:54

you knew that the very real possibility

19:57

would be that your wife is brushing

19:59

her teeth and then she- She turns a corner in his face-to-face

20:01

with a baboon? That is not actually,

20:04

that is not the scariest story

20:06

that happened in Africa to

20:08

me. I don't stay in a hotel that doesn't have

20:10

a microwave in the room. You're like, oh,

20:13

baboon is just roaming the premises? This

20:15

is one of the dumbest things I've

20:17

ever done that I'm about to explain to

20:20

you. It might

20:22

be, well, if I had died this

20:24

way, it would have been the dumbest thing

20:26

I had ever done. I had

20:29

the very real fear that I was

20:31

going to die because we

20:34

were staying on a private resort

20:37

that at the time that I went into

20:40

the place we were staying was vibrant

20:42

and had a lot of workers and no one told

20:44

me that 11 p.m. everybody

20:47

was leaving. It's about

20:49

eight or nine cottages

20:52

and I needed to get a charger

20:54

for my electronic equipment

20:57

and I come out at 11. Now, keep in

20:59

mind, this is an area, giraffes

21:02

and zebras. This is the wild

21:04

that is outside of the

21:06

shrubbery that is in case where

21:09

we're in case, but it's a really nice place.

21:11

And at the time that I went into the cottage,

21:14

everything felt American

21:17

and luxurious, right? Like

21:19

I... American and... No, no, but

21:22

what I'm saying is like in terms of hospitality

21:24

or luxury, it felt like a resort that

21:27

could have been anywhere in the world where

21:29

people were staying that was fancy and

21:32

it was bustling. There were a lot of

21:34

lights on, everybody was there. But

21:36

as I came out, the last of

21:38

the lights went off and

21:41

I kept walking along a path that had

21:43

some lights on it and started

21:46

hearing in the trees and everything. I

21:50

started hearing there was a lot

21:52

of animal things happening.

21:54

Aventura. It's dark and

21:57

no one's around and now I've

21:59

gone... far enough that I can't

22:01

quite find my way back. I

22:04

can't like I'm a little bit lost. Now keep

22:06

in mind this is all enclosed okay

22:08

but what swept over me

22:11

was very real and justified

22:13

terror because those were big animals

22:15

that I was hearing rustling around in the

22:18

dark and I realized fairly

22:20

instantaneously that I was food. I

22:22

don't generally feel that way.

22:24

I think that's actually an important moment.

22:26

That's a humbling moment as a person. Be like

22:28

oh we actually we don't run this.

22:31

I don't have home court advantage.

22:34

Have you guys ever

22:35

come to my I have a strange

22:37

dream that I would love to see a bear

22:40

in the wild.

22:41

Like I don't want to be that close that it's

22:43

dangerous but I would really just love to see

22:45

a

22:46

bear in the woods at some point

22:48

in my life. No no no no because

22:50

what if that bears a mama.

22:52

There's always these terrifying videos on

22:55

social media of a bear

22:56

just chasing people that are on a hiking trail.

22:59

I saw this one of a cougar and it was like

23:01

six minutes. The cougar like started.

23:03

Not at the blue

23:05

martini and Poga.

23:08

Like a mountain lion. And

23:10

it would start and stop and it would get its arms

23:12

out and the guy was just like in a panic. No no

23:14

no no no thinking that he's gonna die for

23:17

like six minutes. I was just watching the entire

23:19

video. No I never want to see anything in the wild. I

23:22

get terrified if

23:24

large birds are flying over my

23:27

head cuz I'm like yeah they could probably take me. They

23:29

can probably just pick me up and drop

23:32

me off in a nest. Your wife

23:34

has the fear that my wife has

23:36

about her cats on our balcony that one

23:39

of these birds of prey is gonna come

23:41

and recognize that her cats our cats

23:43

are a meatloaf in the wild.

23:46

Literally I had to take our dog for a walk two

23:48

nights ago and my wife

23:51

yelled yelled at us like hey be very

23:53

careful for

23:54

you there's coyotes around like well

23:56

we have a dog too. She's like the

23:58

dog will be fine. The dog will be fine.

23:59

We have a 90 pound pit bull,

24:02

he's good. Me, she's worried

24:04

about this coyote taking me out. This happened to me

24:06

two days ago here because we're staying

24:09

in the hills.

24:09

I thought even the baboon story.

24:11

I was like, oh, well that's it, I have

24:13

a lot more questions, Dan. I

24:15

have a coyote, I have coyote stories just

24:18

from two days ago because we didn't know what the

24:20

sound was at six o'clock in the morning when it

24:22

was still dark. We're in the hills, right,

24:24

and you don't realize when you're staying here necessarily

24:26

in the hills again, it's

24:30

their land, not yours. You built

24:32

something there, but it's not yours. And

24:34

what we heard howling in the

24:36

shrubbery was clearly a pack

24:39

of coyotes that was howling at another

24:41

pack of coyotes and you can't

24:43

see any of it. It's just all in,

24:45

it's in the trees, but it's very close

24:48

by and there's

24:50

like, we're adjacent to a pickleball

24:53

court where the net has clearly

24:55

been eaten by wild animals. You

24:57

can just see that it's all, that's

24:59

such a California dad. And I wonder

25:02

why everything's bad.

25:05

That right there. This is why we're setting

25:07

up pickleball courts in a coyote's

25:09

home. They're like, why are the animals attacking?

25:12

Well, you said we put

25:14

a pickleball court in

25:16

its house.

25:17

Charlotte,

25:18

the bear strategy should you ever

25:21

encounter it because Ron McGill

25:23

has told us that if it is chasing you, you

25:25

are doomed. If you run, you have to

25:28

stand up just so that you know, it's emergency

25:30

information. You stand up and make

25:32

yourself big and just. Well, I'm

25:34

dead. You gotta get

25:36

big Brad. Well,

25:39

due to certain genetic conditions that I possess,

25:42

I don't think that's that, get big,

25:44

okay? The size of half of the cub. Hey

25:46

bear. Hey bear. Hey bear.

25:49

Hey bear. I

25:52

don't think that Charlotte and Mike realize

25:54

what a huge get probably not

25:57

the right adjective to use.

26:00

huge debt it is to have you this week

26:02

because later this week

26:05

is National Throw a Short Person

26:07

Day. It is. I'm sorry. October

26:10

21st is National Throw a Short

26:12

Person Day according to the Urban Dictionary.

26:15

So on that day, that's

26:17

where I go in my doomsday bunker and

26:19

that is the dwarf version of the

26:24

purge where for 24 hours

26:26

it is lawlessness out there at society.

26:31

It's like what? We're in, like I already

26:33

had to be cautious around St. Patrick's

26:35

Day and the entire holiday season. And

26:38

now we just invented more days. Is

26:42

my condition that of being

26:44

a dwarf, is that the only one

26:46

where we would have a national, you know, like

26:48

is there a national push a wheelchair down a

26:50

hill bay that I'm just missing here? They

26:53

could, yeah.

26:55

There's like National Donut

26:57

Day and then it's like that these

27:00

are different. These are not the same. So it

27:01

seems like you're scared of this subject matter. No, it's just really

27:04

mean. Who would come up with that

27:06

day? And there's also like people. National

27:08

Donut Days. Is this also like something

27:10

that happens more than one day? Is this one of one or? The

27:13

scariest part is because like

27:15

I'm sort of the voice of my

27:17

people. I get sent this

27:20

frequently in my like my DMS are just like,

27:22

hey, it's National Stab a Dwarf Day.

27:25

And you're like, ah, like it's like it's

27:27

national toss a little person. You

27:29

need to get more to write a letter. Strongly.

27:32

Strongly. Or you need to get a bunch of violently

27:35

trained monkeys to watch over you on national

27:37

throw a person that I want that I

27:41

want to force field of violently trained

27:43

monkey to attack when someone

27:45

tries to throw me. Morrissey, let's get on

27:47

that. This episode of the Dan Levitt's art show

27:50

is brought to you by KFC's new hot

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and spicy wings. Get fired up this fantasy

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It's finger-licking good. The Libotard!

28:20

This is largely performative, but we need

28:22

to establish an unreasonable doubt.

28:24

Yeah, exactly.

28:24

I'm so sad! Please

28:27

don't! Help everyone with

28:29

this! Please go away!

28:31

It's more than you do! Stoo-gots!

28:34

I always like to leave a hand off my chicken. Because

28:38

he's so vulnerable, I just unfairly

28:40

fade down the chicken to just leave him by

28:42

himself. This is the Dunlebator

28:44

Show with the Stoo-gots!

28:49

A couple reasons that are a little hard

28:51

to discern. Brad Williams,

28:53

the comedian who will be appearing in Dania

28:56

at the Dania Improv November 16th

28:59

through the 19th is wearing a t-shirt

29:02

that is the Golden Girls with

29:04

Rick Flair. The Golden Girls.

29:06

There's a Golden Girls themed restaurant that's

29:09

opening in Miami shortly and Rick

29:11

Flair makes me think of how great that Kevin

29:13

Harland call was of the Tyreek

29:16

Hill touchdown. Where Tyreek Hill

29:18

beats the corner and does a backflip

29:21

in the end zone and celebrates

29:23

by videotaping himself in the end zone. Kevin

29:26

Harland, and I felt so bad for

29:28

the corner on this play because you're chasing Tyreek

29:30

Hill. You're stumbling with

29:32

your momentum behind Tyreek Hill. You

29:34

fall on the floor and you're

29:36

staring straight ahead at Tyreek Hill doing

29:39

a backflip in front of you now as

29:41

Kevin Harland is shouting to the

29:43

nation. Oh, he smoked

29:46

him and then he goes, whoo! And

29:50

as I'm watching all of that Tyreek Hill

29:52

is on pace to have more receiving yards

29:54

than anybody has ever had in a

29:56

season. I'm thinking of Brad

29:58

Williams's Denver Bay. Broncos and

30:02

they are the opposite of everything

30:04

that the Miami Dolphins

30:07

are and in the offseason

30:09

I'm guessing that you had an enormous

30:12

amount of hope that he was going to go in

30:14

and fix Russell Wilson. Wilson's been

30:16

okay, they can't score, but he's been

30:19

better than he was last year. Yeah,

30:22

that's the barrier to entry. He's

30:25

okay, he can't score. Well, that's the key

30:27

part of being a quarterback. But he's been better than

30:29

he was last year. And that shows you how bad

30:31

he was last year. Well,

30:33

he's not the sole reason they're losing anymore. Now

30:35

they have several reasons, including the coach that they gave

30:37

up draft capital and several million

30:40

dollars to the most disappointing thing for

30:42

Brad has to be that this is only the

30:44

start of their attachment

30:47

to Sean Payton. There's an Russell Wilson

30:49

years, years ago. Like

30:51

I think maybe 2032 is when we finally have a draft

30:54

pick. So other than that,

30:56

which just, I, I, being

30:59

a Broncos fan my whole life has been,

31:01

uh, you know, there's three super bowls,

31:03

so I'm very happy. And of course,

31:05

and of course the tebow year, which

31:08

I would argue was more exciting than some

31:10

of the super bowls, but, but

31:12

now, Oh, the, the, the,

31:14

the, the pain and just the fact

31:17

that

31:17

this is two years in a row

31:19

where in the off season I

31:21

legit thought, Oh, this team's gotta

31:23

be good. No, they got it's going to

31:26

be that that's the thing. It's

31:28

being bad. Anyone can be bad. Yeah. Everyone's

31:31

used to being bad. No problem. It's when you think

31:33

you're going to be good and you're not only not good. We

31:35

got Randy Gregory. We got DJ Jones. We

31:38

got, we got Russell Wilson, Frank

31:40

Clark, Cooper, but when yeah, we got all these

31:42

guys we're going to be, I was Sean. Peyton is

31:45

going to finally fix all that. It's just the

31:47

hope. Like if I'm a, like it's like

31:49

back when you were a Cleveland Browns fan, Mike, uh,

31:51

every

31:53

year you, you, you would just know like,

31:56

well, it's not going to be good. Right. There

31:58

was like maybe three years.

31:59

where I was like, last year wasn't that bad. We have something

32:02

good to build on. There'd be some new

32:04

savior quarterback that you

32:06

would stop believing in after a season.

32:09

Brandon Whedon. Yeah, but I mean, your

32:12

existence as a Bronco fan has

32:14

generally been charmed. Yes. You've

32:17

never looked

32:18

at an extended run of

32:20

poor form. Has it ever felt worse

32:22

than it did when it was 70 to 20? Is

32:25

that as bad as it ever felt to

32:27

love that football team? The worst it ever

32:30

felt was when I paid thousands of dollars to go

32:32

watch the Broncos in the Super Bowl against the Seahawks

32:35

get absolutely destroyed by the same

32:37

Russell Wilson. What

32:40

is this life? This man

32:42

kills me. And then he comes on my

32:44

team, and you can't beat him, join him, and he's joining,

32:46

and then he's worse. But yes, 70

32:48

to 20 from

32:50

a coach that was literally a ball

32:52

boy, grew up in the system, is a

32:54

Broncos fan. If you ask him,

32:57

what is your team growing up, he would tell

32:59

you, I'm a Denver Broncos fan.

33:01

I'm friends with Dan Soder, who is obviously friends

33:04

with your coach, and he's telling me, yeah, he wanted

33:06

to go there. He wanted to be

33:08

the Broncos coach, could not get an interview,

33:11

couldn't

33:12

get an interview. Kyle

33:14

Shanahan is the son of Mike

33:16

freaking Shanahan. Also

33:19

grew up in the system, is a

33:21

Broncos fan. Nope, can't

33:23

get him. How about John Elway on the way out?

33:26

We'll try for us, I'm out. What's

33:28

your problem? Walmart guys enjoy. And

33:31

then the Walmart ownership looks at it like, well,

33:33

how do we fix this Russell Wilson thing that we got saddled

33:35

with? I don't know, we got Condoleezza Rice in the

33:37

ownership. Can she do something? Who

33:39

came up with the idea to give up? How many first round

33:42

draft picks did you give up for Sean Payton? Well,

33:44

for Sean Payton? It was one

33:46

first round pick, but it was other draft picks. Yes,

33:49

it was other draft picks. Russ was like,

33:51

all right, Seattle, you got our first

33:53

round for like two years. It's

33:55

it. We can't even tank for

33:57

Kayla Williams. I don't even think we have a draft pick. NFL,

34:00

yeah, the NFL kind of legislate said, okay,

34:03

you have this Russell Wilson problem,

34:05

but you can just draft a quarterback and you

34:07

could survive that big contract. If you get your QB

34:10

savior at a, at a low price, but you don't have the draft

34:12

capital to go out and get the quarterback in a great

34:14

quarterback class. What can we, can we just trade

34:17

Russell for Kirk cousins and just had,

34:19

just have the exact same thing happen with both

34:21

teams. I don't know. That's like the Indiana Jones

34:23

like swap out.

34:28

We finally get away from this Kirk cousins contract

34:29

to bring in the Russell Wilson contract.

34:32

To me, the most desperate part is there

34:35

really is no

34:36

end in sight. No, there's nothing. You're

34:38

just stuck with it. I named my

34:40

daughter after one of my favorite Broncos

34:42

players of all time. Of course, Sammy Winder and

34:45

no one got that joke anyway. But

34:48

I would have been weird if it were Ruben

34:50

drone. I

34:52

did, I did name her after a Broncos

34:54

player. And now she grows up having

34:57

that where like a few years ago

34:59

it would have been like, Oh my God, that's

35:01

your name. That's awesome. And now there's

35:03

signed jerseys all

35:05

on the wall. And now that means nothing, nothing

35:08

little Russell Wilson.

35:11

I want to ask you though, how you feel about Elway?

35:13

Because obviously as a player, he was

35:16

magnificent, probably the best athlete

35:18

in the history of the city. But

35:21

whoa, whoa, whoa. It's one of the world's two time

35:23

MVP now, but

35:27

like crazy that he's in a conversation.

35:29

I would say, yeah, that is, but what I was going

35:31

to say about him as an executive is, and

35:33

I wanted to bring in a mean on this because clearly

35:36

John Elway has a great quarterback has no

35:38

idea what a great quarterback looks

35:41

like. He failed throughout to get any

35:43

quarterback. He didn't know that Peyton Manning was good. He

35:45

knew Peyton Manning with his, with his one and

35:47

said he could still do it. And then they

35:54

won with him being bad, which was one

35:56

with Peyton Manning throwing nine

35:58

touchdowns in seven. seventeen interceptions

36:01

that season the worst season paint manning is ever

36:03

had rock off weather on

36:05

the trail of name on this go right with the

36:08

you can keep doing that if you want there are going

36:10

to be a lot better than l way but how do

36:12

you wrote would like a word how do you feel

36:14

about elway is an executive because on his

36:17

way out he saddles you with about three hundred million

36:19

dollars in guaranteed money for russell wilson

36:21

who's now going to be in his late thirties

36:24

on that contract you

36:26

just think that i would

36:28

say that he did

36:31

uh... put together the squad that won

36:33

the super bowl in twenty fifteen so

36:35

you can't say it was a complete failure there are many

36:38

uh... franchises that would give up god

36:40

knows how many like what would you got to give

36:43

how many years of suffering to have one

36:45

jet super bowl one more jet super bowl it's during

36:47

his lifetime so i can't see the

36:50

complete failure but you have to look

36:52

at it be like like

36:54

wow and now and now uh... he

36:57

is out of the ownership and

36:59

out of the uh... front office

37:02

and we bring in uh... george patin who

37:05

that new helps with the russell wilson trade

37:07

and also trades for shot pat

37:09

there is shot shot pain

37:12

i don't know well how's that marlin gm

37:14

can we get her and get it she could

37:17

we could we get her going patrick wall

37:21

all that's not bad actually that that that's a pretty

37:23

good jacket is actually in the conversation because

37:25

it won't want to play around as an executive

37:27

so i guess he would like a word adam would

37:30

like a word i'd turn on that's all

37:32

the old so many mcconnell according

37:35

to it that it is only what there

37:37

is out there that we go god

37:40

let me quickly will

37:42

be going you met you mentioned uh...

37:44

mike mcdaniel i don't know the rest of

37:46

you have enjoyed as much as i have his

37:49

mike dot segment serve been a few

37:51

this uh... this year that i've really

37:53

enjoyed uh... we made fun of at

37:56

length uh... gino smith

37:58

screaming oh my god when Aaron

38:00

Donald came through the middle

38:03

of the line. Geno Smith being human? Yes,

38:06

anybody would shout the same thing. Speaking

38:08

of which, there was another one this week because

38:10

Kieran Williams of the Rams was hit by

38:13

Jordan Davis a couple of weeks ago. Jordan

38:15

Davis is 6'6", 340-something pounds. And

38:19

what you heard after the squashing

38:21

sound was just a whimper that

38:24

said, oh shit, which

38:26

was Kieran Williams, but Mike McDaniel

38:29

was miked up and he's just talking

38:31

to himself all game. And he says,

38:33

I'm fighting myself and

38:36

myself is winning. He is

38:38

really unusual and none

38:41

of this would be charming if he didn't have an offense

38:43

that was on a pace to blow

38:46

out all other offenses in the history

38:48

of the sport. Oh, a thousand percent.

38:51

You tolerate the weirdness

38:53

and you tolerate this stuff. Now, if he

38:55

was losing and talking to himself, you'd be

38:57

like, oh my God, our coach is insane.

38:59

He's legitimately insane. But the

39:01

fact that he has this historical

39:04

offense and just players that are

39:06

always open makes you go like, yeah, whatever

39:08

he does, fine. It's like, remember Adam Gates in the

39:10

press conference where he's doing the crazy ISA? Like

39:13

if they had come out and won 15 games, it's

39:15

like, oh, that guy's great, right? They

39:17

call it genius when it works. When it doesn't work,

39:19

you just, you loom. But speaking

39:22

of genius though, are you surprised in

39:24

any way you've told us before that these people

39:26

who are great at what they do can't necessarily

39:28

coach it, can't necessarily explain

39:31

to others why it is they were great, which

39:33

is why most superstars don't end up

39:35

being great coaches. But don't you think someone

39:38

like John Elway should be able to spot

39:40

in a quarterback future development that

39:42

the rest of us could not spot? Well, he

39:45

very clearly couldn't spot future development because

39:47

he just kept drafting tall guys. But

39:49

he saw the finished product with Peyton Manning. He's like,

39:52

I'll take him. He's better than Tebow. I just- Emphasis

39:54

on finished, bro. I just realized someone

39:56

else that's in the great state of Colorado,

39:59

Deon Sam. Sanders would like a word.

40:02

Yeah. But the second and last name in the pack 12.

40:04

Yeah. So

40:07

these are really ahead of Arizona state. No

40:10

Dan. Here's the thing. I don't think it's about the

40:14

inability to explain in that case. I think the other

40:16

thing is players, whether

40:18

they're great or not tend to have a bias

40:21

for guys that they see something

40:23

of themselves in for whatever reason, like

40:26

it might be a little thing with, Oh, that reminds me of

40:28

me. And then they complete that with like,

40:30

this person has it. And then

40:32

they put their trust in it. So I think

40:34

player evaluation sometimes

40:37

is a case. It's a science where

40:39

you got to sit down and actually do the math

40:42

rather than just kind of gut feeling. He could play. He can't

40:45

play. And again, for the star

40:47

player, the great players, like, Oh, I know. Cause

40:49

he's got that thing that I had and I was

40:51

great. So hence he's going to be great too. But

40:54

that you pick terrible

40:56

quarterbacks, like all of them are terrible.

40:59

It's not like any of them even have a modicum

41:01

of success other than the ones who we all

41:04

can see can play that were Peyton Manning and

41:06

Russell Wilson. What's Nathan Peterman

41:08

doing right now? The Peter man. Can

41:10

we get him? Where is he right

41:12

now? I think he's still around. Is he? Yeah.

41:15

It might be in Chicago.

41:18

No, I think he's right. I think Mike is

41:20

right. I'm sorry. Hashtag right

41:24

next to you. You'll tell me Trevor Simien is on a roster. So

41:26

he is. He's on the jet. No, he's

41:29

not. Yeah. I was right. I think Peter man is a quarterback

41:31

for the Chicago bears as

41:33

if that franchise, he's back there. Yeah.

41:36

They, they, they very clearly saw something

41:39

they liked.