Episode Transcript
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0:01
Hey folks, it's Mike Ryan and if
0:03
you're watching our show, you probably know and
0:05
your boy has undergone a little bit
0:07
of a body transformation and I gotta tell
0:09
you Peloton has helped me on my
0:11
fitness journey. It got the ball rolling for
0:13
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0:16
the Peloton. She takes all these great classes.
0:18
She has her favorite instructors. I listen
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put on a soccer match, some other
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your power with Peloton at OnePeloton.com. Let's
1:03
begin here. Chris Cote has finally found this out.
1:05
What happened now? You don't you're trying to push
1:07
me off Getting to this sound. Yeah, I guess
1:09
there's breaking you just got some breaking news for
1:11
it. We can't get to that sound yet It's
1:13
weird You know I have
1:15
the most current breaking news
1:17
of current breaking news. Every time
1:19
I drop it with breaking
1:21
news, Cooper Flag has submitted his
1:23
name to the NBA Draft.
1:26
Back to you, Chris. Oh
1:28
man, shocking. Okay, it's too bad
1:30
we couldn't immediately get to you stumbling
1:32
in the last hour. Let's hear
1:35
if your most latest, your...
1:37
Can we give the context? What
1:39
is the context here is I'm talking
1:41
about Jeff Van Gundy talking to his players
1:43
in the meeting how hey if this
1:45
ball comes to me I'm gonna grab it I'm gonna
1:47
try to slow down these nuggets and I'm gonna be about
1:49
that action So that was what I was trying to
1:51
say and this is how it came out And he had
1:53
that he had to let he had to be about that
1:55
time. It couldn't just be about What am I trying
1:57
to say here yet? He's about that action and
1:59
he had that he had to let he had to be about
2:02
that time I couldn't just be about what am
2:04
I trying to say here yet? He's about that action
2:06
See, with the context, I knew what I was trying
2:08
to do there. Yuck. That's not it. I've done way
2:10
worse than that. He had to be about that talk. Oh,
2:15
man. Do you know
2:17
how hard it is to be a
2:19
laymer than the man who has a
2:21
son who ran around the theater with
2:24
a rotisserie chicken on his head? See,
2:26
to me, this one's way worse, Pablo.
2:28
You and three other people. OK. Your
2:30
dream. My mouth is watering. dream, dream.
2:32
Living, living your dad. Oh, God. Uh, put
2:35
together a top five Chris Cody stumbles for me
2:37
before the end of the set before the end
2:39
of the show. Chris, please just put that together.
2:41
Uh, juju, uh, Missoula, did you have any thoughts
2:43
on the way we talked about Missoula? You're a
2:45
Celtics fan and I don't think we were terribly
2:47
respectful. You feel me
2:49
salute to Missoula. Did y 'all see
2:51
when Jason Tatum got hurt? Missoula
2:54
screamed, get up. Mizzouli
2:56
just an all around crazy man. I
2:58
done tried to fire him four, five times
3:00
just like Eagles fans try to fire
3:02
Sirianni when stuff goes wrong. You love him
3:04
when he's doing right, but you hate
3:06
him when he's doing slightly wrong. Y
3:09
'all put the proper respect on Mizzouli's
3:11
name, slightly throw it off, but
3:13
hey, NBA champion, baby. What did you
3:15
think of the Halliburton Dame thing? Yeah,
3:18
I think y 'all forgot that remember last
3:20
season during the play in tournament Halliburton
3:22
hit a big shot and then went to
3:24
his wrist and did the game time
3:26
the dame time That's where
3:28
the beef originated. So since
3:30
then, I ain't really saw that
3:32
boy too. I mean, he ain't got
3:34
the best ideas of the Halliburton
3:36
or the Halliburton family. So he's waiting
3:38
to get that get back. But
3:40
you be out there. Well, now that's
3:43
smoking some pre -painting thing. Like you
3:45
got, you got to wait till
3:47
the game come on and don't do
3:49
that all that. talking when you
3:51
ain't even suited up. The sweater
3:53
is lovely though, but it seems
3:55
too colorful for the interaction. The
3:57
sweater, I don't think I have this
3:59
wrong. You can be in a nice sweater.
4:01
It can't be that colorful a sweater though.
4:03
It can be a beautiful sweater. I think
4:05
you have to, you have to refrain. That's
4:08
the line that Dame is crossing there.
4:10
He's talking trash in too colorful a
4:12
sweater. Alright, you can't even
4:14
smoke in that colourful ass sweater, bro. That's date
4:16
night material, you feel me? Looking good though, damn, salute.
4:18
He wanted to show he had the Louis Vuitton
4:20
though, that's why, Dan. You gotta make sure what's got
4:22
the biggest Vuitton on it. I'm gonna put that
4:25
on. And then he's got the Kung Fu Kenny pants
4:27
on, which are crazy. Jeremy, can you look up?
4:29
I'm sure you can look up the price of that
4:31
sweater. I'm sure it's a very expensive sweater. Juju,
4:33
do you have any of the thoughts today
4:35
on any of the lists, any of the top
4:37
five lists, anything else today? Oh,
4:40
yes. Two guys was making the top five
4:42
annoying things list. So I made my
4:44
own top five annoying things list with a
4:46
couple of ol eyes. You feel me?
4:48
All right. What kind of annoying things? What's
4:50
the context? Oh,
4:52
well, I NBA games ending
4:54
at 1am Eastern time.
4:58
Come on, brother. I gotta get up and
5:00
go to work at 8 a .m. And
5:02
here we are still, Shaygillis Alexander at
5:04
the free throw line. It's like, come on,
5:06
guys. Right. Another
5:09
OLI. This is kind of one of
5:11
a picky OLI. Someone's saying you're welcome
5:13
after I say thank you. You
5:17
can say, no problem.
5:19
You feel me? But when you say you're welcome,
5:21
it feels like, ugh. Like just a little, yeah,
5:23
just a little, I don't know. I don't know what
5:25
it is. It's just me. It's my list. Make your
5:27
own list if you got a problem. But you don't
5:29
want to be welcomed in that situation. I'm thanking you
5:31
and that's enough. Don't welcome me to anything. That's enough.
5:33
I don't need welcoming. We're okay. We can end our
5:36
relationship, but thank you. Yeah, or
5:38
if you say we say thank you
5:40
to me I'd be like, ah man,
5:42
no problem and I'll mention it But
5:44
when you say you're welcome, it just
5:46
feels a little tanky like as a
5:48
matter of fact, I don't think you
5:50
have a little strong To welcome you
5:52
to what though you're you're welcome to
5:54
to what to these hands right here
5:56
buddy That's what it feels like just
5:58
what did you say and it feels like you're
6:00
saying you're welcome to me like if I have to say
6:02
something back to you I got nothing else to say.
6:04
Okay, very good. I don't know why such a nice thing
6:06
turns into your hand right here. I don't know what
6:08
you're doing. Two for one, by the way. Right.
6:10
Another old line. The
6:13
airport and the airport announcer
6:15
microphone being too low. I'm like,
6:17
did I just get an
6:19
upgrade? Was that me? I
6:21
don't understand. I'm trying to. How is
6:23
it not better after all of
6:25
these years? How is the airplane microphone
6:27
situation still a shitty pilot talking
6:29
into a tin can? Right.
6:33
Last over live. a little kid running
6:35
around the movie theater that I
6:37
just paid my hard earned money with
6:40
a rotisserie chicken. Chicken
6:42
Chalky. That's right. I
6:45
am ashamed of
6:47
you. I'm
6:50
ashamed of your kid. I'm ashamed
6:52
of your ancestors. Soiling the good name
6:54
of Zaslo. Your descendants. Chris Cody,
6:56
do you have a top five list?
6:58
Top five most embarrassing Chris Cody
7:00
screw up. This is brutal. Number
7:02
four. Reliving these. Number five. This is
7:04
me talking about Tyron Smith's hands. Chris,
7:06
what was the funniest thing from the
7:08
sports weekend? I got
7:10
Tyrod. Tyron Taylor Tyron
7:13
Smith. I'm sorry. They were talking back here.
7:15
So they were making me a little nervous
7:17
Don't make excuse Tyron Smith holding a football
7:19
in his hands. It was this it looked
7:21
so small That's fine. Wow
7:23
you limped in with that ever
7:25
that's number five. That's not Chris Cody.
7:27
Who was that? Who is that
7:29
guy? Here's me screwing up trying to
7:31
say karaoke. Don't drag me into
7:33
this This is a beef between two
7:35
guys leave it to the amateurs
7:37
to battle this one out sir Are
7:39
you in a karaoke league? I
7:41
mean they used to
7:43
call me
7:46
Chris karaoke
7:49
That back I was really supposed
7:51
to say Cary Cody, but I just said Cary
7:53
Oni. Number three! This is me
7:55
screwing up a few good men. What about a
7:57
few good men, Cody? Do you know what that
7:59
is? Yes. Do you know who directed
8:01
that? Oh, no. I just know, isn't that
8:03
the way he's like, I you can't handle the
8:05
truth! Yeah, that's the one. I you can't
8:07
handle. I thought it was I could in, and
8:09
I was like, know, you can't. Number three! This
8:12
next one, I don't even really remember.
8:15
It's me screwing up Chick -fil -A
8:17
joke during a Brad Stevens interview. So
8:19
my favorite fries are Chick -fil -A
8:21
waffle fries. Yeah. There you go. Yeah.
8:24
Yeah. Chick -fil -A is gonna
8:26
be mad. Chick -fil -A is in
8:28
trouble. You dip them in the sauce, right Brad?
8:30
You have to. Chick -fil -A sauce. Yeah,
8:33
Chris Therapy couch get out of here Chris.
8:35
I just what I thought I was celebrating
8:37
it I said that the chick fluid be
8:39
mad at him even though he said a
8:42
good thing about Chick -fil -A Number one number
8:44
one. This is me. Did we get the
8:46
fizz Dale yet? Here's me screw it up
8:48
something with David fizz Dale she Patty a
8:50
it's gone and Dwayne Wade goes I'm not
8:52
sure what's going on with the culture sinking
8:54
ship They realized Riley. I
8:56
mean suppose never leaving, you know,
8:58
I feel like What's
9:00
his name had a Find
9:12
for me you trying
9:14
to read the time that
9:16
we overheard you trying
9:18
to read Let's update some
9:20
polls juju okay
9:23
cool uh we'll get to my top five another
9:25
time oh i'm sorry no no wait a
9:27
minute no i thought i did we not get
9:29
to number one i'm sorry did we not
9:31
get to number one i those were ol eyes
9:33
oh jeez i thought that was the top
9:35
five my bad i'm sorry i thought i thought
9:37
we'd already started the list go ahead I'm
9:39
sorry, I'm very long -winded today. I speed through
9:41
these. Number five, when
9:43
someone sends you six different text
9:45
messages without just saying the one
9:47
thing, like just take a beat,
9:49
take a breath, send me one
9:51
big text messages. Don't text me
9:53
hey Don't text
9:55
me hey Strong agree. Yeah.
9:58
Number four, when
10:00
you go to Squirt to catch up and the
10:02
catch up water comes out before the catch up. Right
10:08
between the eyes number
10:10
three overdrivers that won't
10:12
stop asking questions You
10:14
don't you don't get
10:16
the condiment juice in
10:18
any other thing. Why
10:20
is it just in
10:22
ketchup? Number
10:29
two
10:33
rent Yeah,
10:36
rent is in the life. That's right.
10:38
That's correct. Brother, I just got paid. Now
10:40
you want it back from me already. Can't
10:43
get a foot ahead. Just get a foot
10:45
ahead. And number one, David
10:48
Sampson. OK, there we
10:50
are. It seems to be a consensus. No
10:54
matter what, let's get to
10:56
the polls. First poll, do
10:58
you really have a toothache if
11:00
you're chewing bacon while complaining about
11:03
said toothache? 79 %
11:05
of the audience says no,
11:07
you do not. It was crispy,
11:09
crunchy bacon. It's not just
11:11
bacon. Are
11:13
you proper bleeped if
11:15
your Wi -Fi doesn't work
11:17
for an entire weekend? 90
11:20
% of the audience says yes,
11:22
they are. That seems
11:24
like an unhealthy dependence to be
11:26
reminded of in the middle of
11:28
Zaslo's live stream. It
11:33
was a great stream too, by the way.
11:35
I was in New York over the
11:37
weekend, went to the Knicks versus a Pistons
11:39
game campaign. Wow. Holy moly. You would
11:41
have thought the gates of hell opened up
11:43
whenever he hit those threes. I've never
11:45
been to Madison Square Garden for a Knicks
11:47
game. That crowd is crazy. Look at
11:49
me, Louis. I am told, I'm told by
11:52
the way that we're going to have
11:54
pop that campaign. T
11:56
-shirts up on the website here
11:58
at some point. I don't know whether
12:00
we're allowed to do that or not. You didn't
12:02
give us a report from New York, though. Juju,
12:04
they celebrated in New York as
12:06
if they had really won something.
12:09
Yes. After the game, they were saying,
12:11
we want Boston. I was like,
12:13
come on, guys. You had a
12:15
great run in the fourth quarter. But
12:17
let's see what Kate Cunningham has to say
12:20
about game two. You feel me? What
12:22
if they were to champion one Orlando? That
12:26
would have been crazy. But yeah, that was a good
12:28
stream you had, Zaslo. Thank you. Watching
12:30
that heat game. Were you happy for
12:32
me? Yeah, I was happy because
12:34
I'm not living in Atlanta. I don't want to see
12:37
the Hawks win. Like, come on, stupid Hawks. Like, get
12:39
out of here. Let's see the heat. How far they
12:41
can push it. Next
12:43
poll. Do you know the symptoms
12:45
of gout? 60
12:48
% of the audience says no, they
12:50
do not. Damn. Have
12:53
you ever had a paper cut? 97
12:56
% of the audience says yes, they have
12:58
had a paper. Thank you. Not a
13:00
great day for me. I
13:02
was like, that's right. Jeremy,
13:04
what happened at one point? We were
13:06
going to play the game Marlon or
13:08
disease with somebody and we ended up
13:10
wandering too far our field. What what
13:12
we're. When were we gonna do that with
13:14
home? That was with Pablo. We were thinking about
13:16
playing that game with him Maybe we could bring it
13:18
back with a guest tomorrow because we have some
13:21
good ones in there, Dan I don't know if you
13:23
know the answer to this one, but Kreuzfeld
13:26
Marlin or
13:28
disease Jacob
13:30
Kreuzfeld Disease I'm a
13:32
guest Marlin clearly it's
13:34
something that yeah, it's
13:37
a Kreuzfeld Jakob disease I
13:41
got a bad case in Nardi. Our
13:45
notaries obnoxious. He's
13:49
just so cooked today, it's crazy. The
13:52
dark place. 75 % of the audience
13:54
says yes, they are. Chris
13:56
Cody went off on notaries today,
13:58
just took out the entire... That was
14:00
my best segment, I shined there. I feel good
14:02
about that. I'm gonna go home and be like,
14:04
honey, I had the notaries segment. She
14:07
would say what? Uh,
14:09
Juju, anything else? Yes,
14:12
can you say you got someone tickets
14:14
to an event if they still had
14:16
to pay face value? Sixteen
14:18
three percent of the audience
14:20
says no, you cannot do
14:22
God's Everyone here agreed that
14:25
Stu God said done someone
14:27
a kindness by just simply
14:29
setting him up with a
14:31
broker Right I thought, bro,
14:33
I thought he had set up my boy
14:35
Mike with great seeds. Like, bro, put your
14:37
wallet away. Your money's no good here style.
14:39
My boy Mike still had to pay. Come
14:41
on, man. You can't get into the microphone
14:43
saying I hooked him up. Neither here nor
14:46
there. Did you have a friend that
14:48
was too eager today to tell you that
14:50
the Pope had died? 54
14:54
% of the audience says yes they
14:56
did have that friend. Tony blasted
14:58
me. I'm just saying a lot of
15:00
the guys didn't really care about the poll. And
15:04
the last poll is
15:06
Whittingham great at the
15:08
soccer stuff while sucking
15:10
at everything else. 83
15:12
% of the audience says yes
15:14
he is and yes he does. Damn,
15:17
those are the polls. before
15:19
I get out of here, uh, the out
15:21
of you, but still going on. You feel me?
15:23
Check out the out of you. And if you
15:25
want to call and leave your voicemail and get
15:27
on the show, the out of you call six
15:29
five zero juju now and leave your message and
15:31
I will respond. You got to know. Let's
15:34
just close it out here with the
15:36
gymnastics dismount, gymnastics dismount. Sure. We
15:38
have time for this. I'm getting Chris
15:40
Cody trying to read while we
15:42
were watching him from another room and
15:44
he didn't know we were watching. Alright,
15:48
don't edit it then my folks
15:50
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