0:00

Light

0:03

studio.

0:08

You never have a right on your child.

0:10

Your child always has a right on you.

0:12

Same goes with your parents. You always

0:15

have the right to go back to your parents. No

0:17

matter what. Create relationship works

0:19

on a lot of permission

0:22

given to each other to say, hey, you can

0:24

call me out on my bullshit. Yeah. And I was

0:26

surrendered to you when you call me out on my

0:28

bullshit. Every at in every decision, every

0:30

conversation creates a memory

0:32

inside of subconscious. Right? So if you're

0:35

someone who's telling yourself that I've signed

0:37

up to live an extraordinary life, and

0:39

you are living these little betrayals of

0:41

yourself and those betrayals are going in their

0:43

subconscious. Then when you set goals in

0:45

your life, your mind is like, liar,

0:47

how the hell will you achieve these goals? A effortless

0:50

success is when you do

0:52

what you love doing and you find people

0:54

who do what you don't love doing

0:56

with to do it with

0:57

love. You always put resources in

0:59

your pile.

1:00

Yeah. Okay? So I put resources. I gotta

1:02

cook very early even when you were broke. We gotta

1:04

cook. Because you realize that both our time,

1:07

if we spend it more on our business, we'll

1:09

be able to make that.

1:17

From wine studio, you are listening to

1:19

the inspiring talk, a

1:21

show where I bring the conversations with

1:23

today's most success school and

1:25

inspiring personalities to

1:27

help you take your life, business,

1:30

and career to the next level. In

1:38

two thousand eighteen, I had just

1:41

quit my exosolve and I was looking

1:43

at starting my own business and grow

1:45

in my career. So I

1:47

was working a lot. I was

1:49

working on two podcasts I was

1:52

consulting organization, I was

1:54

doing a lot of coaching consulting assignments.

1:56

At the same time, I was also looking at starting

1:58

my own business. And that was the time

2:00

because I was working a lot,

2:03

I landed up in the hospital because

2:05

I had some sort of

2:07

also in my stomach. And

2:10

that is the time I realized that

2:12

how much I ignored my

2:14

health when I was trying to

2:17

build my career. And that

2:19

was something how I was primed

2:21

because people told me that you can

2:23

have either in your life,

2:25

either health or business

2:28

or relationship, and you can't have it

2:30

all. And you have to compromise and

2:32

one thing to make it big in the another.

2:35

And in today's episode, we are going to

2:37

challenge that because I have

2:39

invited Rajiv on this podcast

2:41

for the third time. He has been

2:43

guest on this podcast twice before

2:46

once he came is. A

2:49

guest and on hundredth episode,

2:51

he came as a host and interviewed me.

2:53

And this time, we don't talk about entrepreneurship.

2:55

We talk about how do you design

2:58

the life Rajiv calls

3:00

the and life. He

3:02

strongly believes that you can have everything

3:04

that you want. You can have health

3:07

and relationship and

3:09

finance and spirituality and

3:12

recreation and so on and so forth,

3:14

and anything that you desire. So in

3:16

today's episode, we'll talk about seven

3:18

different areas of your life and

3:20

how do you progress on all of them.

3:23

You will learn the framework to

3:25

plan your life and have it all,

3:27

and I love how simply

3:30

Rajiv gives the structure to this

3:32

and this is something that he doesn't talk

3:34

about often, so we go really

3:36

deep into some aspects of this. You're gonna absolutely

3:39

insulate this episode and there could have been

3:41

no big time than the New Year to

3:43

talk about this, take notes. There

3:45

are so many things that I myself

3:48

learned and how Rajeev next

3:50

source that he achieve whatever he

3:52

want in every area of life.

3:55

Let's get started.

4:01

Thanks again for doing this. Thank you for

4:03

having me, and I'm looking forward to this conversation

4:05

because it's a topic that's very close

4:07

to my heart. I've been on the ore side

4:09

of the spectrum for a large part of my

4:12

personal and professional life till

4:14

realization hit. And now

4:16

I would say I'm in pursuit as

4:18

a student of the end life. So I'm

4:20

happy to explore this conversation with you.

4:22

So let's begin by talking about what

4:24

is end life. I gave a bit of a context, but

4:26

then, yeah, for people who are listening.

4:28

No. Like you rightly said that most

4:30

of us are torn between choices

4:32

on an everyday basis. I mean, not

4:34

just in our habits and actions, but somewhere

4:36

even in our mental beliefs and conditioning,

4:38

we believe you can't have

4:40

it all. We've been told you can't have it

4:43

all. So we are making choices saying

4:45

either I spend time on my health

4:47

or I spend time on my business,

4:49

either I spend time with my relationships

4:52

or I work on my work. And

4:55

when you live life with that paradigm

4:57

and perspective that you can't have

4:59

it all, You can't focus

5:01

on everything. You can't balance everything.

5:03

Then you live a broken life

5:05

and incomplete life. And that's what

5:07

I call the ore life where you're choosing

5:09

between health or wealth, relationships

5:12

or business, growth or

5:14

spirituality, So I

5:16

feel that's a very broken paradigm in itself,

5:18

and that's when the thought

5:20

came that why don't we live in and

5:22

life? Where we live a life

5:24

where we focus on health and

5:26

relationship and finances and

5:28

wealth creation and business

5:30

or career and recreation and

5:33

spiritual growth and learning and

5:35

contribution. So the

5:37

perspective of the paradigm behind an end

5:39

life is to focus on all

5:41

these areas and pursue goals

5:43

in all these

5:44

areas. That's what an end life is. But don't

5:46

you think a lot of people would say that, hey, you know

5:48

what that's like a fantasy that we're living in to

5:50

have these many

5:51

things. I think the moment you talk about

5:53

an act like the biggest perception or

5:55

notion people develop is that you

5:57

got to give equal amount of time to all

5:59

these areas in your life. But

6:01

living an end life has very little to

6:03

do with the time you spend on these areas.

6:06

Is more to do with the clarity

6:08

of what you want in each one of these areas.

6:10

Most people don't even have goals in these areas.

6:12

Most people don't even evaluate where their health

6:14

is at and what do they achieve in

6:16

their health. They don't even evaluate where

6:18

their relationships are at and what do they want

6:20

to create or experience in those relationships.

6:23

So for me, the start point of an ang

6:25

Life is having clarity

6:27

of objectives or goals in these areas.

6:29

And once you have that clarity of objectives

6:31

and goals in these areas, once you know what you

6:33

want in your health, What do you want in your

6:35

relationships? What do you want in your business? What do

6:37

you want in your finances? What do you want in

6:39

your recreation? Once you have that

6:41

clarity, you will realize These

6:44

things don't need everyday effort.

6:46

Some of these things don't need everyday effort. Like

6:48

your recreation may not need everyday

6:50

effort. Your relationship rituals may not

6:52

be everyday rituals. So

6:54

it's not a eight hour work

6:56

and eight hour personal time and eight hour

6:58

sleep. I don't believe balance

7:00

is a reality in that way.

7:02

But I believe clarity and

7:05

then having simple practices, systems,

7:07

rituals, and teams, and all these areas of

7:09

your life, can create significant progress

7:11

and therefore create significant fulfillment

7:13

once you play this game off an end

7:16

life. So when you design your own

7:18

life, you may already mention about health,

7:20

relationship, career,

7:21

contribution, spiritual. Like,

7:24

what are the categories that you look at? How many

7:26

categories are? Tell me there are seven seven. Okay. So I

7:28

look at health. I look at relationships.

7:30

I look at business. I look at

7:32

finances and I look at business and

7:34

finances separately. Business is a

7:36

source of income. Finances is

7:38

how I save and invest that income that

7:41

creates the wealth that I'd like to create.

7:43

So you got health, relationships, business,

7:45

finances, then you got recreation,

7:47

then you've got spiritual growth, and

7:49

then you've got contribution. So these

7:51

are the seven areas. The best

7:53

way I look at these seven areas

7:56

is look at top three priorities

7:58

because based on the phase of life you are at,

8:00

there'll always be something which is a priority

8:03

and create primary goals in those top

8:05

three areas and create secondary and

8:07

maintenance goals in the bottom

8:09

four areas. And as you go

8:11

through this method, you kinda juggle

8:13

between priorities and as you

8:15

evolve priorities change,

8:17

and I love how sometimes

8:19

we contradict our own lives. Sometimes

8:22

you may say, okay, contribution is not important

8:24

to me, and then you hit of your life where you

8:26

feel like, hey, I'm not feeling joy in my own

8:28

growth, where am I finding joy? And then

8:30

you go through an experience of contribution and you

8:32

realize, hey, that's the area now I need to

8:34

prioritize. So I

8:36

think joy is in pursuing goals

8:38

in these areas, knowing what are your top

8:40

three priorities, and having maintenance

8:43

goals or secondary goals in the other four

8:45

areas, you're able to do

8:46

that. There's so much that you

8:48

experience in one lifetime. I think

8:50

that that was going to be my next

8:52

question which is, was it supposed to be,

8:54

like, hey, master one and

8:56

then, like, build another. But

8:58

then you said, like, you know, pick three.

9:00

Like, master those three or not

9:02

master, but, like, you have significant

9:04

challenging milestones or goals in those

9:06

Three areas in other four that you do. And I think,

9:08

like, picking three -- Yeah. -- and working it

9:10

on those. And even on those three, it's not

9:12

that 888 hours, like I said. Right?

9:14

It would be, like, maybe one hour on the other two

9:17

or two hours at maximum

9:19

the other two and maybe

9:20

dedicate, like, most things don't take time,

9:22

which I the biggest notion people have is that I'll have

9:24

to give time. Most things

9:26

actually take clarity and capability.

9:28

Once you have clarity of what you want and

9:30

you have the capability to get things done on the

9:33

systems, to get these things done

9:35

on the teams to get things done,

9:37

you will realize it's not a game of time. People

9:39

look at time as their only resource, and

9:41

time is scarce because everybody has twenty

9:43

four hours. We will get intimidated by

9:45

time and then they give up on pursuing

9:47

goals. I believe it's not a game of

9:49

time. It's a game of having teams and systems

9:51

in every aspect of your life. Even beyond

9:53

your business. Great. So I

9:55

think now Rajiv would love to now look at

9:57

each of those different things.

10:00

You said, like, the first thing is, like, clarity that you need to have.

10:02

Right? Yeah. And where does

10:04

one begin? Let's say, now I want

10:06

to give a framework for the for somebody who's

10:08

listening to this. Let's say on a

10:10

piece of paper, they have written seven

10:12

of these different areas of

10:14

their life. Right? So then

10:16

what does that gaining clarity

10:19

process look like. There are two

10:21

ways you could choose your top

10:22

three. One, you could choose your top three based

10:25

on what's relevant for you today.

10:27

Second is you can choose your top three

10:29

based on what's so broken that if

10:31

you don't fix it, everything will fall

10:33

apart. Right? So if I

10:35

look at my own top three for this year,

10:37

which is very different from last year, I think

10:39

for me, my number one right now is

10:41

my health. My number two is my

10:43

relationships. My number three is my

10:45

personal finances. And

10:47

I feel very comfortable knowing

10:49

that as an entrepreneur running multiple businesses,

10:52

my businesses are not in my top three areas

10:54

this year. And these are

10:56

the three areas that matter to be

10:57

most, my health, my relationships my personal

10:59

finances? Because

10:59

you've taken the business to a level where I've taken the

11:02

business to a level where it doesn't require

11:04

that much of my active time. Now

11:06

it's more about leverage. It's more

11:08

about scale. It's more about putting the

11:10

right resources at the right place.

11:12

So areas where I really need

11:14

to see a leap In terms

11:16

of my capability, my

11:18

contribution is my my health, my

11:20

relationships, and my personal

11:22

finances. So that's one

11:24

approach to see where you need to see the

11:26

biggest game range. Now, what do you need to

11:28

prioritize? When people usually

11:30

start with this, when started with this. It was more like

11:32

I was trying to fix what's broken.

11:34

I started pursuing the

11:36

concept and the idea of an end life in two thousand

11:38

and fourteen. And there was a time where I

11:40

was coming out of debts, I was coming out of

11:42

losses, I was coming out of a

11:44

very toxic personal mindset

11:46

because I'd gone through betreils in business. So

11:48

I was not thinking straight myself, kinda

11:50

lost faith on humanity. So

11:52

back then when I was creating, I was creating

11:54

from a point of your fixing of

11:56

that's broken. So I was like, okay. My

11:59

business is my number one

12:01

priority. My growth. My

12:03

learning is my number one priority. And for me

12:05

learning and spell virtual growth is the same thing. So

12:07

I was like, okay, my learning is my number one

12:09

priority because I need to fix my own

12:11

capabilities back then it was

12:13

like, okay, my personal finances

12:15

is my priority, but it was more

12:17

coming not from saving and

12:19

investing but reaping debts. So

12:21

it depends on where a person or an

12:24

individual is at a stage of their life. Right?

12:26

Sometimes when you start this journey of

12:28

creation, you first need to complete some

12:30

bad karma So fix those stuff.

12:32

And once you kind of fix, then you go into

12:34

creation goals rather than reaction

12:36

and fixing goals. So knowing

12:39

where one is and identifying

12:41

those top three areas and then defining

12:43

measurable goals in those top three areas is a

12:45

good start point for

12:46

anyone. Are there any questions that you want? People

12:48

to ask as a prompt on each

12:50

of those areas, which will then give

12:53

them maybe think about, oh,

12:55

this is what I should ask. Look at, like,

12:57

you know, where my possible

12:58

question could be that am I in a phase

13:00

of fixing my life or am I in the

13:02

phase of creating my life? If you're in

13:04

a phase of fixing your life, pick

13:06

what's broken. If you're in the phase

13:08

of creating, then identify what

13:10

you'd like to prioritize purely out of the

13:12

desire of your heart. Without any

13:15

judgment. There are no right or wrong goals.

13:17

Nobody decides and defines for

13:19

you. Oh, you're an entrepreneur, but

13:21

you're not picking business as a priority area. Oh, that

13:23

means you're not a good enough entrepreneur. Screw you.

13:25

I'm probably financially free. I don't have to grow

13:27

focus on my business. So you

13:29

choose what works for you. You do you. That's

13:31

the best way. Identify fixing goals

13:33

or creation goals to begin with. That's the way

13:35

I would

13:35

see it. Now we have outlined okay.

13:38

These are my three top

13:40

ones. These are the four which

13:42

we Secondary by secondary. Yep.

13:44

Which I'm gonna maintenance like you said.

13:46

Yeah. Now I have said that. Okay.

13:48

These are the focus areas, and this is where

13:50

I'm gonna go. Then comes the goal setting

13:52

part comes now. Right? Yes. Yes.

13:54

So

13:54

again, you need to be clear about the

13:56

parameters. See, for most people, when they

13:58

think health, they think a

14:00

lean waist line

14:03

And I know a lot of people with a lean

14:05

waistline, but are not at all healthy.

14:07

And it's the fashion industry that

14:09

has determined what a healthy

14:11

person looks like, which is not even true.

14:13

So for me, health goals, I

14:15

break it down into parameters of

14:18

physical health. Mental

14:20

health and emotional health. I break it down

14:22

into these three parameters. Physical

14:24

health for me, the parameters are

14:26

my energy levels. When I wake

14:28

up and when I'm about to go to

14:30

sleep. If you're able to rate on a

14:32

scale of one to ten with ten being highest and

14:34

one being lowest, Do you wake up?

14:36

What kind of energy frequency do you wake

14:38

up at? And what kind of energy frequency do you

14:40

hit towards the later half of

14:42

the day? That's a great parameter to identify the

14:44

quality of your life itself, not just

14:46

your health. So one

14:48

is your energy, The other

14:50

would be your immunity. I

14:52

know people who are perpetually

14:54

sick and they're perpetually on

14:56

alopathy medicines. So

14:58

your energy, your immunity,

15:01

then comes your strength, then

15:03

comes your flexibility. Probably

15:05

your body structure and appearance is a

15:07

fifth parameter. In most cases,

15:09

it's irrelevant. I think it's the outcome that you'll

15:11

get once you picks. Absolutely. I

15:13

I generally believe that these internal

15:16

metrics of energy, flexibility,

15:18

immunity, and strength are

15:20

way more important than your

15:23

measurements and your appearances.

15:26

So you can create goals

15:28

in these areas when it comes to your

15:30

physical health. For me, mental health is

15:32

not how people perceive mental health in

15:34

today's day and age. For me, mental health is more

15:36

knowledge and wisdom. Emotional health

15:38

is probably how people perceive mental

15:40

health out side. How are you feeling?

15:42

Are you regulating your emotions? Are

15:44

your emotions in control?

15:46

Are you honoring your emotions? It's not

15:48

just about being positive all the time.

15:51

I think superficial

15:53

positivity is more dangerous than

15:55

any other emotional state a person can be

15:57

in. So It's about having clarity

15:59

of those parameters for a physical,

16:01

mental, and emotional health, and

16:03

you can develop your own rating scale. Right? On

16:05

a scale of one to ten based on your own

16:07

experience, you can be true to yourself. Developed

16:09

where you are, where you wanna go, define it

16:11

even as an objective statement in these

16:13

areas. So say health is

16:15

dead. From the point of your relationship, people

16:17

ask me, how do you keep goals in relationships?

16:19

For me, in relationships, I look

16:21

at three types of goals. One is being goal.

16:24

Who am I being in that relationship? And

16:27

fundamentally, my true measurement

16:29

of an empowering relationship is where I can

16:31

be free. But I don't have to lie,

16:33

but I don't have to manipulate, but I don't have

16:35

to choose my words.

16:37

So freedom in a relationship and

16:39

you can break it down again. I I come from

16:41

a school of taught in a philosophy, which is

16:43

very deep rooted that, especially

16:45

for those who are married. Your spouse

16:47

comes first, your children comes second,

16:50

your parents come third, and

16:53

as per our ancient

16:55

with us, that's the right hierarchy. We've

16:57

been misinterpreted and sold the idea that

16:59

if I put my parents anything less

17:02

than first, then I'm not a good enough child.

17:04

But the truth

17:06

is your sathy is

17:08

your sathy. That's the

17:10

first thing. Your child is

17:12

your responsibility and your

17:14

parents is your duty. So

17:16

you gotta have that clear

17:19

frame anything beyond these three relationships is

17:21

a bonus in life. So whether you

17:23

have it or you don't irrelevant.

17:25

Okay? That's the way I see it.

17:28

Once a yoga teacher

17:30

taught me this beautiful distinction and

17:32

he said, or

17:36

something. And I said

17:38

and he said something beautiful

17:40

on the lines of

17:43

someone that is with your

17:45

spouse. Which is most important.

17:48

Rishti is with your

17:50

children, which is your

17:52

second responsibility and

17:54

your parents have a rest

17:56

with you. And he beautifully said it

17:58

saying that you never have a

18:00

right on your child. Your

18:03

child always has a right on

18:05

you. Same goes with your parents.

18:07

You always have the right to go back to your

18:09

parents. No matter what. And he's

18:11

like, Nate is with the extended world.

18:14

He's like, Nate don't matter.

18:17

No. So I

18:20

think that clarity is important in your

18:23

relationships, and once you are clear what are the

18:25

most important relationship, you create a being goal.

18:27

Who do I wanna be in that relationship? You

18:29

create a giving goal. What do you what do I wanna

18:31

provide to that person? Different

18:33

people want different things from you. Right? Some people

18:35

want space. Some people want trust,

18:37

some people want empowerment from

18:39

you, some people want belief from you, some

18:41

people want love, some people want time

18:43

to understand each person's language

18:46

of love and give them that. Okay?

18:48

It's not about you giving what you would like to

18:50

give it. It's about you giving what they would

18:52

like to receive. And once you operate from

18:54

that paradigm in a relationship, you

18:57

give with freedom and giving gives

18:59

you joy. I think the most

19:01

dissatisfied space for people in a relationship is when

19:03

they're looking at what am I getting.

19:05

So your being goal, your

19:07

giving goal, And finally, in your

19:09

relationships, you can set up your rituals or

19:11

experiences goal. Gonna have simple

19:13

rituals. Like, I will take my pet for a walk

19:15

every day no matter what, that one

19:17

hour is for me and my pet. I will go for a walk with

19:19

my spouse every day no matter what and that

19:21

one hour is for us to have deep conversations

19:23

and

19:23

connections. I will not watch TV at time

19:25

of eating a meal. That's my time

19:27

with the family. So everybody can come

19:29

up with their own set of Having reached

19:30

the boundaries. Yeah. Like,

19:33

things that they like to do with each other

19:35

without any external distractions.

19:37

So that's how I look at relationship

19:39

goals. And then, of course, your wealth goals is

19:41

just saving an Yeah. Before we move to the

19:43

wealth, I would like to add, you know, something that I learned

19:46

about the relationship on the lines of what

19:48

you've said is these

19:50

four really powerful questions, which I

19:52

maybe somebody listening to this can ask themselves.

19:54

Like, the first one is, like, like you said,

19:56

right, what is it that I'm getting out of

19:58

this relationship is one, which is also important

20:01

for you, you can't always be in a relationship which is the

20:03

one who is always

20:03

giving. Yeah. I mean, that's very

20:06

relevant to those

20:08

who are selflessly giving, but

20:11

their partner or who are

20:13

on the other side is not reciprocating. Then

20:15

you are being a mandica country. Yeah. You gotta

20:17

be very careful about that. You you kind of

20:19

hung you can't just keep being struck by

20:21

people. Right? So you got to

20:23

have a right balance there. So where agree to

20:25

that, and I So what is it that

20:28

I'm giving to this relationship? What is that I'm

20:30

getting in this relationship? What is that I

20:32

wanna give more in this relationship?

20:34

And what is that I want more from

20:36

this relationship? Yeah. And I think

20:38

those four questions are really, really powerful

20:40

for somebody like you said. Right? Oh, I was like, hey.

20:42

But I am the one lead one who's giving in this

20:44

relationship and my partner doesn't reciprocate.

20:46

Maybe it's time for you to

20:48

probably rethink about that relationship.

20:50

Right? Yeah.

20:51

My experience

20:53

in a relationship when you have to

20:56

go through this as a measurement

20:58

scale, then that relationship in itself

21:00

is dysfunction. Relationships that

21:02

you connect with giving us so

21:04

effortless. Yeah. So

21:05

yeah. I totally resonate with that.

21:07

Yeah. And now that we are talking about

21:10

relationship, you've just completed

21:12

ten years of your

21:14

marriage.

21:14

Yep. Yeah. And

21:15

and I think you guys were dating before that as

21:18

well. Right? How many years have been married?

21:20

Fifteen. Engaged for a year

21:22

before that, dated for

21:24

six years before

21:26

that. Friends. For five years

21:29

before that. So I lost it

21:30

on twenty two years. Eleven. Yeah. Twenty two years. I'm

21:32

on each other for twenty two years now. Yeah. Yeah.

21:34

So I'm kind of blessed to

21:37

find the right partner early in life. She was

21:39

a friend for five years, which I think is

21:41

the most beautiful thing. So she

21:43

knew about all my failed stories

21:46

before that. Yeah. She

21:48

was a great ally. Then we

21:50

dated for six years, and then, of course, we

21:52

got engaged and then got married, and it's

21:54

been ten years now. Yeah. That's

21:55

where I'm at. Yeah. And I think, you know, one of

21:57

the things that from afar, right,

21:59

you know, from knowing your story

22:02

and seeing what you guys are

22:04

doing, you know, you and Bhakti. What

22:06

I see is there has been a

22:08

lot of growth in this journey

22:11

is a couple. And I think

22:13

that, at my assumption, you can

22:15

correct me or maybe add to what I'm

22:17

gonna share, is the core of that

22:19

relationship? Is the growth

22:21

on what we both are becoming in this

22:23

relationship. Like you said, like, what am I being

22:25

and what is, you know, the other partner

22:27

in this relationship is being? What are we

22:29

becoming in this relationship? And

22:31

then changing growth is one of the

22:33

core thing of this

22:34

relationship. Right? I totally agree.

22:37

I think right from the time we

22:39

started dating, she was a good Rajiv, I'm a

22:41

Cindy. And I let

22:43

go of career opportunity

22:45

just so that I make the relationship

22:47

work. I was a national law school

22:50

aspirant, and I had missed it by

22:52

point to five marks in one of the

22:54

years in my second attempt.

22:56

In between my second attempt and my third attempt, we

22:58

started dating. And I knew if I get into

23:00

National Law School five years, I'm

23:02

gonna be at National Law School.

23:05

And so the next year when I wrote the

23:07

exam, I left twenty marks in

23:09

the paper intentionally saying

23:11

if I get in then

23:13

I don't think our relationship will work.

23:15

And if I take that five year academic

23:18

path, then probably Buckeye's family

23:20

will start putting pressure on her to get

23:22

married and this may build pressure

23:24

for us. So I chose the

23:26

relationship, not as some irrational love

23:29

story kind of a thing. But when I

23:31

make that choice that I'm gonna let go of

23:33

twenty marks in that question paper to

23:36

make sure I don't get in, I also made

23:38

a decision and a choice and both of us spoke

23:40

about it saying, Now that I'm making this

23:42

decision, we're gonna make two things work. We're

23:44

gonna make our love story work.

23:46

We're gonna make our careers work.

23:48

Because the last thing you want is to carry

23:50

that baggage later saying, oh, I'll

23:52

let go of this career opportunity. I

23:54

was good. I missed it by point to five marks

23:56

the previous year. Were written twenty four

23:59

twenty more marks, I would have definitely gotten

24:01

and then regret the relationship. So

24:03

we said we need to make these two things work. We

24:05

may need to make our career work. We need make

24:07

our our relationship work with each other. Funny

24:10

part after leaving twenty marks, I missed

24:12

it by point two five marks again.

24:14

And my parents were concerned saying, beta, don't go into depression. I

24:16

know it can be heartbreaking in my head. I'm

24:18

like, you have no idea how relieved

24:21

I am that I missed it again.

24:23

You would have gotten in, what explanation would I given to you

24:25

that I don't wanna go to master's law school

24:27

anymore. So I think the foundation

24:29

of that relationship those

24:32

decisions early on were

24:34

very, very important, they made as a strong

24:36

base for ourselves. And that's why

24:38

we've been great growth

24:41

partners. We've challenged each other in different

24:43

phases of our lives when

24:46

one of us has gotten complacent or one of us

24:48

has lost faith on

24:50

ourselves. The other has kind of stepped in

24:52

and amped up the belief and

24:54

pushed the other person, and we've given each

24:56

other that permission as well. So I

24:58

think a great relationship works

25:00

on a lot of permission

25:02

given to each other to say, hey, you

25:04

can call me out on my bullshit. And I

25:06

will surrender to you when you call me out

25:08

on my bullshit. I think that

25:10

permission and surrender combination has been the

25:12

critical force of or

25:14

are marriage working or relationship

25:16

working or career is

25:17

working, you know? And that comes

25:20

from having

25:22

and creating that space for each other to

25:24

have those really difficult hard

25:26

conversations and relationships. And I think

25:28

a lot of us in the

25:31

relationship do not even create that space where

25:32

Yep. Like, I find it I'm using. I

25:35

work with so many entrepreneurs, and I find it I'm

25:37

using that when they have a Pows who's not involved in their

25:39

business. That spouse has no

25:41

connection to the financial realities

25:43

of that individual. I'm like, why are

25:45

you inflicting this loneliness upon

25:47

yourself? Okay? Sometimes I've seen

25:49

it come out of, sometimes

25:55

I see it coming from thought process of

25:57

I don't like to discuss work at home.

25:59

I genuinely believe that a

26:01

true partnership is holistic

26:04

full stop. You

26:06

got to evaluate each other's health, wealth,

26:09

relationships, finances, every aspect of your

26:11

life together, create together,

26:13

But then I have a ritual once a year, we take a

26:15

vacation only for gold creation. We go

26:17

to a very scenic location in

26:19

the middle of nature, and we create goals

26:21

for the next one year. We visualize our

26:23

goals. We we spend two, three days

26:25

on brooding over goals, challenging each other on

26:27

different aspects of our goals. And we close that

26:29

trip with creating a path of what do we

26:32

wanna achieve in the next one year in our finances,

26:34

in our relationship, in our individual

26:36

careers, in our recreation goals for the

26:38

next one year. And I think

26:41

our partnership works on

26:43

that goal creation exercise. It's

26:45

something that we look forward to. It's something

26:47

that we review every month. It's

26:49

something that we celebrate when we

26:51

do something positive. So for me,

26:53

that co creation that space is

26:55

so important. Otherwise, you

26:57

feel intellectually at two different wavelengths and then

26:59

you kinda check out in the

27:00

relationship. And I've seen that happen so

27:03

many in relation of around me is just

27:05

heartbreaking. Yeah. And

27:07

one takeaway for me here and

27:09

also what I think, you know,

27:11

what you have done beautifully

27:14

is you have merged few

27:16

aspects of them together. Like you said, like, on

27:18

on my mental health, like, learning and growing is

27:20

one part of it. Then you marry that with

27:22

the relationship. Like, how can I bring that aspect

27:24

in my relationship? Yeah. So it becomes

27:27

effortless. I'm growing on that aspect, but

27:29

also it's helping me in the

27:31

relationship. When I'm when I'm going on this

27:33

learning journey with my partner, I'm

27:35

also improving

27:37

improving and doing And when I'm

27:39

getting that space to have conversation with my

27:41

partner, then I'm also

27:43

regulating or maybe, you know, pouring

27:45

out my heart -- Yeah. -- which is also, you know,

27:47

looking at the emotional aspect of

27:49

it. Absolutely. I think it's all interconnected.

27:51

Right? You're you're one being.

27:53

And that's what I tell people

27:56

that you can't have a

27:58

broken health and a

28:00

great business. You

28:02

can't have a broken relationship

28:04

and a great business. There's a part

28:06

of you that will leak energy

28:08

and drain energy. What if we

28:11

all pursued a life

28:13

where we looked at plugging

28:15

these holes in our personality

28:17

when it comes to our health wealth

28:19

relationship? Creating these areas, then every achievement

28:21

becomes so much more fulfilling. Right?

28:23

So for me, it's just integration

28:25

of all these forces, which is very

28:27

important. What

28:28

are some of the retails that you went back? But they have one. You

28:30

said, like, you have a yearly -- Yeah.

28:32

-- one is a rating

28:33

rate. Daily, one is

28:36

conversation for at least an hour without

28:38

mobile phones or we

28:40

rarely watch television. Our television is

28:42

as new as new as

28:44

So one is

28:46

a conversation at least for an hour before we hit

28:48

the bed. Second is having

28:51

the meal together no matter what, so it's

28:53

not like hungry or you're not we

28:56

have our meal together no matter

28:58

what. That's I think in

29:00

daily, these two things are our core

29:02

anchors. Which is our food

29:04

and our conversation before we go into

29:06

bed. It's like just a catch up of

29:08

the day, like just a complete catch

29:10

up of the day. I would say that's

29:13

important ritual for

29:15

us as a couple. Weekly, I

29:17

would say we do step out. We have more

29:19

lunch people than dinner people. So

29:21

we do like to step out by ourselves

29:23

for lunches. We do drive sometimes,

29:25

but there's no fixate that weekly

29:28

one drive. We are not, like, a we

29:34

have a free flow But there

29:36

are certain things that we go back to. Like, there

29:38

are certain things that we like doing,

29:40

going out for a drive, a lunch

29:42

outing, just the both of us,

29:44

a movie once a month out in

29:47

the theaters for no matter

29:49

what. One thing that brings us together is

29:51

travel. I think For us,

29:53

travel is life. Life is travel.

29:55

Work is somewhere secondary. Work is

29:57

predominantly to just fund

30:00

the travel kind of a thing

30:02

that to be true to ourselves, I think

30:04

we are driven by travel. We

30:06

thrive on travel. So we

30:08

have travel goals. We have very aggressive travel goals. We have

30:10

travel goals of doing three countries in a

30:12

year and four cities in India every year.

30:14

So that's like, seven

30:17

holidays, and these are not work related. It's not like

30:19

I'm going for a meeting, so I will tag along.

30:21

No. This is, like, shut shop.

30:24

Get out and just be there.

30:26

So travel goals are

30:28

very, very important to us.

30:30

And Because in the early stages of

30:32

our marriage, we went through an experience where

30:34

we saw financial crisis,

30:37

saving and investing has been a

30:39

core essence. Of our financial

30:42

habits. So reviewing our

30:44

investments is something that we do together on a

30:46

monthly basis. And

30:48

we look back in gratitude with a lot of

30:50

joy because when we started, we

30:52

started from a home which

30:54

had no furniture. It a fifty year old home that we rented

30:56

out and there was a calminator fridge

30:58

which was a mini fridge and we told the landlord can

31:00

we use this as a fridge.

31:02

We had no so far from Shevaajna where we bought a

31:05

five thousand rupee, wherein I got the so

31:07

we started from there. So now for

31:09

the lifestyle that we live, for us

31:11

these things matter and we cherish those

31:13

journeys and we we value how

31:15

we are growing. So we celebrate in

31:17

general, the theme of our life is just

31:19

celebrated because of how we started and where

31:21

we came from. So these things matter to us

31:23

a lot. And now

31:25

that you have a third

31:27

person, in your life, which is

31:29

your kid. Yeah. What are the new things that

31:31

you're learning about

31:32

relationship? One of the things I've learned

31:35

very early as a parent, my daughter's like

31:37

three and a half months now. And one of the

31:39

things you learned is

31:41

that you don't teach the child.

31:43

The child comes into your life and

31:45

teaches you so much. It's taught

31:47

us patience. Bhakti

31:49

is someone who likes structure

31:52

and everything. The child has brought her

31:54

surrender, think that

31:56

just honor the child. If the child is not taking

31:58

the feed, wait, something

32:00

that one of our friends

32:02

who's like a role model parent who was said

32:04

to us that don't treat your child like

32:06

a child. If you treat your

32:08

child like an adult and honor

32:11

the The decisions and the choices of the child

32:13

will have a much more peaceful parenting

32:15

journey. So we are constantly looking for

32:17

cues. She can't speak yet, but we're looking

32:20

for cues. What is she communicating?

32:22

If she's cranky and restless, one of

32:24

the rituals we do is we go to another room

32:26

and take a moment and kinda communicate

32:28

with her higher self and say, what's making you crank

32:30

in helpless or less less.

32:32

And sometimes it shows up there, okay, there's a

32:34

decision at work that I'm not

32:36

making. Because one of the things I've studied

32:38

is still the age of seven.

32:40

The child has none of its own patterns

32:42

to explore. The child is just a mirror

32:44

for you. So we've done some

32:47

study on telepathy to kinda

32:49

telepathically con communicate to the

32:51

child. You just take time off, ask

32:53

child. What are you trying to communicate to me? What are you showing

32:55

me which I need to fix? You don't have to fix

32:57

anything. It's just a mirror to my energy

32:59

and emotions. Something shows up. Make that decision.

33:01

The child's

33:02

come. Wow. So

33:02

I'm enjoying playing with that as an

33:05

idea. Now there's no signs

33:07

backing it. Someone may

33:08

say, oh, this sounds insane. It works for

33:10

me, so screw

33:10

you. I don't think. Right? Yeah.

33:13

It's working for me. I'm enjoying

33:15

that. The other thing I'm enjoying

33:17

about the child or learning is

33:19

our language itself. You

33:22

know, it's so easy for us

33:24

to inflict negative programs

33:26

with negative words and embed

33:28

negative codes in the child from such an early age. Like,

33:30

I've just gotten aware to this fact that

33:32

when I'm meeting parents now and they

33:34

have a kid, and you say hello to the kid and

33:36

the kid is kinda hiding behind the mother.

33:39

And the parent so proudly goes

33:41

and says she's shy

33:43

and I'm like, no, she's nothing.

33:45

You are embedding, she's shy. And

33:48

I caught myself doing that. There was a

33:50

morning where my daughter, she was looking

33:52

at me and sort of blushing And

33:54

I went like, oh, looking at daddy and feeling shy and

33:56

I'm like, I'm not embedding that on you.

33:58

I said, you're blushing. That's so

34:01

cute. So I'm identifying language

34:03

patterns. How easy it is. Like,

34:05

I remember we have a nanny and she speaks

34:07

in English and My daughter went through this phase of

34:09

colleague where she had gas in a stomach. So the moment

34:12

you take her for a feed and she

34:14

started resisting

34:16

and this woman, my nanny, used the word, fear

34:19

bad guy. I'm like, good

34:21

name bad, bad, bad, happier.

34:24

So I

34:26

think parenting as such a beautiful learning experience

34:28

of our own

34:29

personality, our own beliefs, our own

34:31

language patterns, that if you just treat that

34:33

child as a blank canvas and

34:35

you ask yourself What I wanna

34:37

put on that camp Canvas is a beautiful way to do. Yes. I need. It's

34:39

what am I painting in that camp a canvas.

34:41

Right? Because that's creating the early conditioning

34:43

of the child. So I

34:45

become curious about this. I'm becoming AAAA

34:49

seeker in this area, just reading stuff,

34:51

interacting with other parents, observing

34:53

children and just wanna be able to create the right space

34:55

and platform for the

34:56

kid. That's that's something that's been exciting

34:58

as a parent now. Wow. That's

35:01

so beautiful and it's a pure thing to hear. And also, like, these

35:03

are saying that goes, like, you know, if we were to

35:06

imprint the words

35:08

that you say in a

35:10

day, what would that word cloud look like?

35:12

Right? And, you know, pretty much the same, like

35:14

you've said with your

35:16

kid. What would you

35:18

implant or, you know, on

35:20

on your

35:21

kit, which is absolutely it's

35:23

so important. Right? I

35:25

believe our parents lived in the generation of

35:28

responsibilities. Their primary

35:30

thing was to be

35:33

responsible and fulfill and give us

35:35

a decent standard of living. And I think if we've been blessed with parents

35:37

who just focus on responsibility, we

35:40

don't have no worry

35:42

about responsible so we can focus

35:44

on creation for the next

35:46

generation. And then they can go on

35:48

explosion -- Yeah. -- spree and

35:50

impact the

35:51

world. So at That's way I see it.

35:53

Mhmm. Is there anything

35:53

else on relationship that you'd like to

35:56

share? I think for me, what's

35:58

most important

36:00

is and I can say this for myself. I think

36:02

at least as men or boys,

36:04

one of the most important transitions

36:06

to make in life is from

36:09

a son to a husband. Many people fail at

36:11

that. I have seen that

36:14

happen in

36:15

in good families and good

36:17

environments where there's so much

36:19

guilt that boys carry around

36:22

And prioritizing

36:23

you as possible. Also

36:25

your parents. Your parents live their life based on their

36:27

values, their beliefs, their principles. You gotta create

36:29

your life based on your values, your abilities,

36:31

your principles. And so many will just look

36:33

at whising that out as disrespectful,

36:36

and I feel that

36:38

if we understand that this is

36:40

not disrespectful and it can be done

36:42

respectfully with clarity, then I think

36:44

we will create happier

36:46

family environments. For me, that was

36:48

a very interesting phase of my life ten years

36:51

ago where I had to kind of reconcile within

36:53

myself that am I

36:55

being disrespectful or am I

36:57

being submissive or am

37:00

I being am I am I being a go with the flow a

37:02

language? So creating that clarity, that

37:04

was a very important phase of my life,

37:08

and Today, I can say that because I

37:10

learned that, I've been able

37:12

to fulfill roles and

37:14

create roles within the

37:16

family of love and respect, the

37:18

foundation is love and respect, the

37:20

foundation is not just some

37:22

hierarchy or

37:24

control for the sake of control without any rationality at home.

37:26

So I think that's an important

37:28

phase every person will go through

37:30

in their life. The transition from being

37:33

a child to a spouse. Very

37:35

important, especially for men. And

37:36

is there anything that you'd like to share

37:38

is, like, these are the things I

37:41

know that, you know, it would be

37:42

different, and it would be very industrialistic. It's very industrialistic. Yeah. See, coming

37:45

from a background where

37:48

your your parents were

37:50

self made. Sometimes what happens

37:52

is self made parents become

37:54

control freaks. They wanna determine

37:56

how every they they just wanna question choices

37:58

that you may. Yeah. And because you don't

38:01

wanna give that answer, you end up

38:03

doing, you know, centralized. You wanna

38:05

go out with your wife for just a date

38:07

night, and you say that your parents are,

38:09

like, sub children, The

38:12

intention is together, miss. And then you're, like, okay. No. I

38:14

can't go back to her and say that

38:17

Mandaarals are coming. So the

38:19

next time, what I'll do is I'll tell them, we both have

38:21

some work outside. And I think so

38:23

many families thrive on innocent lives,

38:26

lives, innocent lives. And

38:28

they say, tell you guys, we're just

38:30

avoiding conflict. But I'll tell you what you're doing. What you're doing is, one,

38:32

you are creating a consciousness

38:34

on the within, which is broken,

38:38

because you're not expressing your

38:39

Two, you're breeding a

38:42

behavioral pattern in

38:46

your parents and you're not challenging them to evolve, you are

38:48

just going with the flow. So for them, you're

38:50

a hundred percent compliance all

38:52

the time. And

38:54

three, tomorrow when you have kids and you continue to rule

38:56

this in front of your child, you're setting up

38:58

precedent saying, okay, we are

39:02

liars. Okay. And that's what I'm

39:04

gonna teach you. So speaking around truth and saying,

39:06

Yada, we'll go out. But

39:08

tonight, we both wanna go out

39:11

We'll do our family dinner on Sunday,

39:14

and allowing him to reconcile and

39:16

deal with it so that he

39:18

evolves is

39:20

very important. And I think these little things

39:22

go in a long way in terms of how you see

39:24

yourself. That matters a lot

39:26

to

39:26

me.

39:28

And I think that will require somebody to first

39:30

recondition their own -- Yeah. --

39:32

brain saying that, hey, this is not

39:34

disrespect, but this is the

39:37

priority for me and I wanna do this and

39:39

then, you

39:39

know, they better understand. It requires self

39:42

awareness and self consciousness, every

39:44

action, every decision, every

39:46

conversation creates, memory inside your subconscious. Right? So if you're

39:48

someone who's telling yourself that I've signed

39:50

up to live an extraordinary

39:52

life, and you are living these little

39:54

betrayals of

39:56

your self and those betrayals are going into your subconscious. Then

39:58

when you set goals in your life, your

40:00

mind is like, liar, how the hell will

40:04

you see these goals. You don't have another courage to live your own

40:06

truth. But for me, that has been a

40:08

very important foundation on

40:10

which I've built my life. I this

40:12

to trust me whether the world trust me or not

40:14

a

40:14

secondary. No. That's that's great. So

40:16

we've covered health and you've given three sub

40:18

topics for people to look at. We

40:21

went really deep into relationships. And now the third

40:24

one, finance and --

40:26

Yep. -- value

40:27

creation. I think this was an area of

40:29

my life where I started

40:31

from fixing it. I didn't

40:33

understand money. I think all of us at

40:35

one stage in our teens

40:38

become socialist. Or communists. Right? Because you think, like,

40:40

money is evil and all of

40:42

that. And then you realize that, hey, you know what

40:44

money is

40:46

important. Money is not evil. There may be some people who have

40:48

money who are evil. That doesn't

40:50

make money evil. Pammi

40:52

took time to understand that.

40:55

I mean, it took time to realize that

40:57

asking for the money that you deserve for

40:59

what the value you add is

41:01

not wrong. I looked at it as greed

41:03

in Had broken money belief systems. My

41:06

one belief system was rich people

41:08

are manipulative.

41:10

So therefore, subconscious was

41:12

I don't wanna be manipulative. Therefore,

41:14

rich equals manipulative. I not equal to

41:16

manipulative, so I equal to not rich.

41:18

I got away to that after eight years of entrepreneurship. So the

41:20

first eight years, you can imagine what kind of

41:22

a broken money mindset I had. The

41:26

other money mindset I had was asking for money for yourself is

41:29

devaluing yourself. So asking

41:32

equals greed, asking

41:34

equals cheap, that was my

41:36

thought process. So Joe Milartica,

41:38

Naimla Atica. Okay? I

41:40

had this ego thrown in my own

41:42

head saying if I ask I'm diminishing my value.

41:45

That was a broken money belief system that

41:47

I carried for the longest time.

41:50

And because I didn't

41:52

experience money for the first eight years as

41:54

an entrepreneur, the other broken money system I had

41:56

was only few people are

41:58

lucky to get money in life. So

42:00

and my thing was, I'm not lucky. I'm talented,

42:03

but I'm not lucky. I'm hardworking, but I'm not

42:05

lucky. Now you can imagine the combination of these three broken money

42:08

systems is a torturous

42:09

life. Right?

42:12

Because consciously, you wake up every morning to hustle hard,

42:13

work hard knowing that you're not gonna make money.

42:16

Yeah. So consciously, you're like, I know I can't I I

42:18

can't make

42:20

it. And it was self torture.

42:22

Right? I mean, no one was inflicting this

42:24

upon me. I had breached this for myself.

42:28

Was in two thousand fourteen that I shattered these money belief

42:30

systems and I decided to remove

42:32

my personality out of money. I said,

42:34

okay, look, this is not about who I am.

42:37

It's about what is money as an energy? So

42:39

I started studying money as an energy. And

42:41

that's when I realized that there

42:44

are five users

42:46

of money. There is using money for the necessities, which is

42:48

a basic routine of Ramakan

42:50

communication transport education, health

42:53

care, and debt. Then there is saving money. And the

42:55

thought process was if you don't save money today, money can't

42:57

save you tomorrow. Then there's investing

43:00

money, which is putting money in different assets for

43:02

the money

43:04

to grow. And then there's enjoying money in your recreation,

43:06

in things that you are passionate about, things that you

43:08

love, things that you'd like to experience. And

43:10

finally, there

43:12

is giving money back as contribution or charity. So when

43:14

I understood these five uses of money,

43:16

I realized that, hey, you know what, most

43:19

of us don't use money based on these five

43:22

users, we use it based on our

43:24

personality. So a saver is

43:26

only saving and investing. A spending

43:28

way more than what they are

43:30

making. And that's when we

43:32

live such a broken relationship with money.

43:35

So I decided that you know what? I'm gonna eliminate

43:37

my personality. I'm gonna keep it as an

43:40

equation. I'm gonna

43:42

look at necessity saving, investing, enjoying,

43:44

and contribution as

43:46

goals. And I'm gonna achieve those goals.

43:49

And over a period of time, I developed harmony with money,

43:52

balance with money. When I

43:54

hit that balance with money, there was more joy, there

43:56

was more freedom, there was no fear, there was

43:58

no self

43:59

doubt. And there's a lot of

44:01

gratitude around the energy of

44:04

money. And I believe

44:06

that when you

44:08

hit that

44:08

romantic relationship with money, money comes to you. If

44:10

you don't have romance with money, then money runs

44:12

away from you. If you can't expect money,

44:14

money doesn't stay with you.

44:18

So for me, that was a very

44:20

foundational learning and shift I made from

44:22

two thousand and fourteen, and I

44:24

continue to use the

44:26

same template of gold creation along

44:28

with Bhakti every year on necessary saving, investing,

44:30

enjoyment and recreation, and

44:33

contribution ever since.

44:36

And I find that a very effortless way to

44:38

think money, relate to money.

44:40

It doesn't scare you about

44:44

are you being responsible by vacationing seven times

44:46

in a year? It fits in the equation of

44:48

recreation. We do it. Okay?

44:51

It doesn't scare you that are you being too

44:53

conservative? It fits in the equation of saving. I'll

44:55

save it. Right? So

44:58

that's how I've looked at money and

45:01

I genuinely believe that this should be

45:03

taught in schools. By the time

45:05

people reach a stage where they can make money,

45:07

they're so broken around money that

45:09

I say, hardware is hard working

45:12

hard, software is corrupted. It's

45:14

like buying the latest

45:16

three d printer and connecting it to

45:18

Windows ninety seven. What is gonna

45:20

happen? Shit's gonna come out.

45:22

Right? So you got to heal with this,

45:24

and it was a healing I went through from two thousand

45:26

fourteen onwards. For me

45:28

finances is that, those five areas create

45:29

goals. So what I hear you say is first to

45:31

understand what are your beliefs about money.

45:34

Yep. Then that will

45:36

require you to look at the patterns

45:38

--

45:38

Yep. -- and be a big Look at your memories

45:40

memories. Yeah. What was your earliest

45:42

memories of money? Okay? Like, I remember

45:45

my earliest memory of money. One

45:47

of my most earliest memory of money was

45:49

I looked at the fifty pisa coin, and I

45:51

didn't know the difference between and

45:53

fifty rupees. And as to

45:55

buy these WWF

45:58

postcards of five rupees, you will get your

46:00

kozuna, and the take a break at Manhard,

46:02

that era. And I had this store close to my

46:04

house. I should run to that store when I

46:06

should save money and buy once I got a

46:08

fifty pice a coin and I

46:10

went there. Okay? And I

46:12

told him, ten posters. I

46:14

selected ten. I gave him fifty percent. I said, nine better than

46:16

fifty rupees. And then he laughed at. He laughed

46:18

at me and he said, you

46:20

don't understand money.

46:22

You're so stupid. You're

46:24

so immature. That's that man did

46:26

it out of for him that was

46:29

cute. But it created a memory saying I

46:31

don't understand money. So look

46:33

at your earliest exchanges of

46:35

money. Conversations your parents are

46:37

happening. Financial situations, your parents went through in your

46:39

early childhood. What were they telling you when you

46:41

would see something and say, I want to buy

46:44

this? Okay? You will see

46:46

your money memories coming out of there.

46:48

And from those memories, you will see beliefs that have

46:50

been repeating ever

46:52

since. So You identify

46:54

that get aware and

46:56

awareness is the

46:56

healing. People ask me once I'm aware, what then?

46:59

Awareness is the healing. You got

47:01

aware?

47:01

Yeah. They say quantum physics. Right? When

47:03

you observe a particle, the particle

47:05

changes its composition. You

47:08

observe a thought, the thought changes its role in your life, simple

47:10

as that. Yeah. So you start with that

47:12

awareness, then you put the structure structure into

47:15

it. Yeah. Great. That was great. That was the third compartment

47:18

which was money. And now that, you know,

47:20

this episode is we're doing this

47:22

around the

47:23

New Year is around the corner, and this is probably the great

47:25

time for people to look at all these different

47:27

compartments. Let's move to the fourth one then. Fourth one

47:29

is business or career.

47:31

Someone who's a working professionalist career goals. So for

47:34

them career goals would largely

47:36

be learning goals

47:38

in terms of technical skills in

47:41

their career, contribution goals in terms of their

47:43

particular role in the organization. So if you're

47:45

a working professional and you just have clarity of what

47:47

are the next level skills. What

47:49

are those game changing skills that I need to

47:52

acquire? And what are those

47:54

KRAs and KPIs that I need

47:56

to ace? Then you're

47:58

sorted from a career point of view. In

48:00

a business environment, it's more your

48:02

financial goals, your functional goals, and

48:04

your own learning goals. When it comes to business. So the

48:06

way I see it is in business, it's more like

48:08

you need to know what's the top line and bottom line

48:10

you wanna achieve, which is your financial goals. And

48:13

in your functional goals, it's more about breaking down

48:16

then what should marketing achieve for you

48:18

to achieve financial goals? What should sales achieve

48:20

for you to achieve

48:22

financial goals? What should operations achieve further achieve your financial goals? What

48:24

should human resources of

48:26

R and D accounts and management

48:28

achieve? So when you create goals on these

48:30

seven functions, for

48:32

the financial goals. And for you to make sure

48:34

these functions are

48:34

functioning, what do you need to learn? So

48:37

if you break down your business

48:39

goals into financial functional and

48:41

learning, that's great parameters to create clarity. Yeah.

48:44

So I don't wanna go too deep into this because this

48:46

is something

48:46

that, you know Yeah. This is something I

48:47

talked to India. Yeah. I can find it

48:50

anywhere else. So I

48:52

think we've covered this briefly on our

48:54

previous conversations as

48:54

well. I'll link that in the description of this

48:56

episode. So let's move to the

49:00

fifth one. First one is recreation. See, I believe you're

49:02

human. You have one life. You

49:04

got to experience this

49:06

planet. Most people's definition

49:08

of spirituality

49:10

is sacrifice and scarcity

49:12

and letting go and all of that.

49:14

I am a big believer of detachment,

49:16

but I'm a big believer of

49:18

experiencing every single thing on this planet without being

49:20

dependent or attached to

49:23

that experience. So

49:25

your recreation goals could be

49:27

your travel goals. It could be your hobby

49:30

goals. It could be your gadget

49:32

goals. Okay? You have a dream

49:34

that you love

49:36

BMW's engineering. Bloody hell go by a BMW. Don't let some

49:38

financial influencer tell you that no

49:40

Ola and Uber and that's

49:42

being worked I'll screw it,

49:44

man. I love the engine. I love the driver.

49:46

I love the field. I will create a goal

49:48

in my life where I earn

49:49

enough, spend on my necessity,

49:52

save enough invest enough. And then I'll buy a BMW car. Now that you're

49:54

saying this, you know, sorry to interrupt. But now

49:56

that you're saying that, maybe

49:58

also, it's a good time for you to ask yourself that, hey,

50:00

you know what? This people

50:02

saying that, hey, you know what? It's Ola and Ola

50:04

is better than buying. Are you using

50:06

that as an excuse to

50:08

not work hard enough. See, I'll tell you, there's this big school of

50:09

thought around minimalism. I love

50:12

the idea of minimalism. But I'll tell

50:14

you what

50:16

I love even more than

50:18

minimalism is moderation. I am not buying stuff for social

50:20

approval. I'm buying stuff

50:23

for internal joy. Till

50:26

date, I haven't put the pictures of my cars on social media. But

50:29

I love driving. I will buy

50:31

cars that give me that drive. So

50:33

I'm clear my life that I'm not doing it to please

50:36

someone off against status in someone's

50:38

eyes. I'm doing it because

50:40

I love me. That's

50:42

it. So what are those things that you're and this is

50:44

where I think so many people get it

50:46

wrong. They do stuff for status and

50:48

social approval. But once

50:50

you spend time on reflecting

50:52

on, are you doing it for you? So can

50:54

you live with it without putting a

50:56

post about it on

50:58

social media? Then you're sorted, my friend. You you don't have to

51:00

live a life of minimalism. You

51:02

can live a life of moderation.

51:04

Okay? If I'm saving

51:06

and invest staying seventy

51:08

percent of my income. And I'm using

51:10

ten or fifteen percent of my income on my

51:12

recreation and enjoyment where I'm able to

51:14

fit seven vacations. I'm able to buy the

51:16

gadgets that I like to

51:18

explore. I'm able to drive the cars and I like

51:20

to drive. So

51:22

be it? Okay? I don't need to fit into the school of thought

51:24

of either minimalism

51:26

or hollow materialism. I don't have to

51:28

fit in those schools of thought. Right?

51:31

So recreation goals are

51:33

stuff that you do for your

51:35

joy. And I think the best

51:37

way to identify if you're doing

51:39

something for your own joy is if

51:41

you're comfortable doing it without telling someone

51:44

and without putting pictures about it on social

51:46

media. If you're able to do that,

51:48

you're doing it for you. And that's the most

51:50

beautiful thing to experience.

51:52

Yeah. So for me, that's my

51:54

recreation and enjoyment parameters. It's

51:56

vacations. It's

51:58

hobbies. Passions you'd like to pursue. It's

52:00

gadgets that you would like to own, possessions

52:02

you'd like to own. You

52:04

would like collecting watches, go ahead and

52:07

buy my friend. What fits in your equation, go ahead and buy.

52:09

I'm not a big believer of, okay, you go buy an iPhone

52:12

fourteen if you're under twenty, thirty

52:14

thousand salary. And call

52:16

that passion. I call that stupidity and

52:18

responsibility. You can do

52:20

much better with yourself and your money.

52:23

But I'm saying that pursue

52:25

that growth, not for

52:28

greed, but for the things saying I

52:30

can. I'm doing stuff because

52:32

I can. So for me, recreation fits

52:33

there. Mhmm. It's like play fun. Play fun. You do

52:35

it for play. Yeah. And I think that's that's

52:37

the whole point of

52:39

all of this. Right? If you're just having funnel on the way if you're saving

52:42

and doing all this

52:42

stuff. People who are extreme. Right?

52:44

They only save and invest. But

52:47

you know what? You may be comfortable with it. And

52:49

I know people who generally are very comfortable

52:51

with only saving, only investing,

52:54

and they don't have any play for in any

52:56

recreation goals. But what I've seen

52:58

is when they are the primary income earning

53:00

member of their family, what they're doing

53:02

is they're creating deprivation for

53:04

the rest. Just because you control the money, you call the shots on the

53:06

money. I think that's a very unfair

53:08

way of living life. Like,

53:10

I'm sure everybody would have

53:12

seen people where

53:14

someone, like, say, the primary

53:16

income earning member of the family passed

53:18

away. And after they passed

53:20

on, the family lived a

53:22

better lifestyle. Why do you

53:24

want to create that kind of karma

53:26

with your own loved ones where they're happier

53:28

once you're gone? So I think

53:30

that balance is important. You don't

53:32

like shopping stuff fine, but sit with your

53:34

spouse and ask her, what would you

53:36

like to shop this year? Sit with your kids

53:38

and ask them, what would you like to pick up

53:40

this year? And put that as a part of your recreation

53:42

goals. Okay? You know, you want to wear the same

53:44

shirt since nineteen eighty six go

53:46

for it. Okay?

53:48

You to you, but make sure that you're

53:50

honoring people around you. And I think that's

53:52

where so many people were just saving

53:56

investment oriented and not recreation oriented. They have a receiving

53:58

problem. They have an experiencing problem.

54:00

And such people don't even retain money for long.

54:02

Money finds a way to run away from them.

54:04

Either they in

54:06

the greed of a great deal and they

54:08

put money and their money goes out

54:10

or they find perpetually in

54:12

some medical emergencies where money is getting

54:15

drained. say is an energy. Don't try to

54:17

control it. Living moderation with

54:20

it. Saving is respecting it.

54:22

Investing is

54:24

trusting it. Enjoyment and recreation is experiencing it.

54:26

You got to do all of

54:27

it. That's beautifully put. Alright. So

54:29

that was the part

54:32

of investment. Let's move to the

54:34

next one

54:34

now. So we've looked at health,

54:38

relationships, finances, business

54:40

or career, and we look at recreation. Now the

54:43

next one would be contribution.

54:45

Yeah. I look at contribution.

54:47

For me, the way I

54:49

see it is that There are people in your

54:51

immediate circle itself. It could be extended family. It could be

54:53

your own house staff, your driver,

54:55

your watchman. Okay?

54:58

For me, contribution first

55:00

comes in this camp later

55:02

probably to an NGO or a

55:04

charitable trust and all of that. For

55:06

me if I'm able to take care of the education expenses of my house

55:09

staff and my driver's kids and my

55:11

watchmen's kids and my

55:14

cook's kids I think that's my first layer. That's my inner circle. You can't make a difference your

55:16

own inner circle who's in need.

55:18

Then just going to some Ashram

55:22

and taking pictures while you're doing charity is absolutely

55:24

meaningless. So for me, contribution

55:26

starts with helping those who are in your circle

55:28

of influence already

55:30

empowering them. It could be through

55:32

direct contribution or it could be through

55:34

opportunity creation. Right? Like,

55:36

if you can create opportunities for them, give

55:38

them a career path and stuff like that,

55:40

great. So that's one layer. If your com car

55:43

contribution bucket is larger, then you

55:45

go and you give outside

55:48

to organizations who are doing

55:50

meaningful work. If you're it's even more larger, you

55:52

set up your own foundation or a trust and you

55:54

add value to people. So each one to

55:56

their own choose a cost that they sites you

55:59

choose a cause that empowers you. Give back whatever. I mean,

56:01

it could be feeding street dogs is

56:03

what excites you do that.

56:06

Could be environment, do that. So each one needs to pick their own

56:08

playground of contribution and just do

56:10

their their basic minimum. If

56:13

you can't give time, give money, if you can't

56:15

give money, give time, but give something. I

56:17

think that just I think the

56:19

highest joy comes there. Else humbles you. It

56:21

humbles you. It creates gratitude. It gives you

56:24

joy. It grounds you. I

56:26

think contribution has so many aspects

56:28

to it. One

56:30

person philosophy and some people have disagreed

56:32

with this. I have a simple philosophy

56:34

that never showcase what you're

56:38

contributing. Some people say but Rajiv, if I don't showcase, I'm not inspiring

56:40

others. Works for you. Please go out there

56:42

and showcase what you're contributing. Doesn't

56:44

work for me. I don't showcase what

56:46

contributing. For me, it's a simple thing that I'm giving, I'm not

56:49

giving for the sake of receiving some

56:51

recognition or adulation or

56:54

some likes. But if you see it as

56:56

inspiration and it aligns with you, please go

56:58

ahead and showcase it to inspire more people.

57:00

So you gotta have your own see,

57:02

if you realize these things don't take time

57:04

by day. It takes thought. Most women are not stopping in their lives

57:06

and putting in thought into these areas.

57:08

Once you put thought, you create clarity of

57:10

goals, then it's

57:12

simple rituals. It may be a

57:14

contribution you do once a year at the time of

57:16

admission to check-in your

57:18

immediate environment who still didn't need education and

57:20

taking care of that. Or your birthday, you go out there

57:22

and contribute. It doesn't

57:24

take twenty four seven. It doesn't

57:26

take eight after thirty seven days a week. That's a

57:28

notion. So that clarity

57:30

is important in contribution, which brings me

57:32

to what? The last spirituality. Yeah. Spirituality? The big one. The

57:34

big one. My definition of spirituality

57:36

is very, very non spiritual. My

57:40

definition is the way I see it is that, for

57:43

me, spirituality means growth of

57:45

the soul. Okay? And we all

57:47

have a soul inside. Right?

57:49

So now we have when we have a soul on the

57:51

inside out as a soul evolved.

57:54

Any learning can evolve

57:56

the soul. Today, I can learn from you the skill of

57:58

podcasting. It's an value add to my

58:00

soul. So I don't count

58:02

spirituality as only reading

58:04

religious texts.

58:06

Or only meditation. Pammi, the way I

58:08

see it is any form of learning is a

58:10

spiritually evolving activity. It's evolving

58:14

your soul. So you can have career of

58:16

business based learning goals under

58:18

spiritual growth. You can

58:20

have passion or hobby based learning

58:22

goals and

58:24

I like to learn how to paint. I'd like to learn how to sketch.

58:26

I'd like to learn how to play the

58:28

guitar. You are evolving on a

58:30

spiritual level. It could be

58:32

religious or philosophical

58:34

kind of learning to as a

58:36

spiritual goal. So any kind of learning goal

58:38

is a spiritual goal for I made

58:40

it simple for myself that way. That's how I set my

58:42

spiritual goals. So for me, it's not about, okay, I

58:44

need to buy hard these many slow cars

58:46

and only then I'm spiritual. But

58:49

I need to revisit the ancient vedas and then

58:51

I'm spiritual. From learning digital marketing this year,

58:53

for me, that's a spiritually

58:56

evolving activity. I keep it simple. I

58:58

don't like to complicate it. So any kind

59:00

of learning goal is evolving and

59:02

enriching your soul. That's a spiritual

59:04

growth goal. That's how I

59:06

see it. I think that eases it for so many people. You know, have

59:08

friends. I have some some very,

59:10

very amazing friends who

59:14

are deeprooted in rituals and religion and

59:16

bhagatgita. And when you sit in front of

59:18

them, no, you feel like a

59:20

papi poorish. But

59:26

I had to make peace with it. I had to make

59:28

peace with it saying

59:30

for me, serving people impacting my clients'

59:32

spirituality. So they say, you know, some

59:34

people are gana yogis,

59:36

who channeling

59:38

knowledge and practicing practices. Some

59:41

people are practicing

59:46

Baktioga, where they are in devotion of the lord

59:48

and are serving. Some people are

59:50

karma yoga. I'm like, okay. The one who

59:52

doesn't practice any practices. The one

59:54

who doesn't devote to a particular God and say, I

59:56

serve in the name of this God,

59:58

Hamzap Kamayoshi,

1:00:00

Kamgaring, and that's

1:00:02

good enough. Do it with the intentional service that's good

1:00:04

enough. So for me, I've made it

1:00:06

guilt free for

1:00:07

myself. That's the way I see it. Yeah.

1:00:09

I think it's important

1:00:11

for you to works for you. Absolutely.

1:00:13

And what gives you the joy and

1:00:15

the satisfaction level. I have a friend

1:00:17

who was spiritually initiated

1:00:19

and he used to do Krias every morning. He got busy. He stopped

1:00:22

doing his Krias. He started facing

1:00:24

sinus issues. And then he worked

1:00:26

with a yoga master who

1:00:28

was pretty learned, not your regular

1:00:30

yoga trainer on Instagram. But he

1:00:32

worked with a yoga master and the yoga master

1:00:34

says, help wise, you're perfectly fine, my friend. And

1:00:36

that guy asked him, but of nowhere he asked

1:00:38

him, are you spiritually initiated? He said,

1:00:40

yes. I'm spiritually initiated. He's like, are you doing your

1:00:42

career? He's like, no. I'm not doing my career. Is

1:00:44

it please do your career? And the sign

1:00:46

is red. So it's

1:00:48

a partner. You don't choose the

1:00:50

partner. The partner chooses you.

1:00:52

Okay? So some people have been

1:00:54

initiated for them that practice is

1:00:56

spiritual growth. I'm the

1:00:58

uninitiator to probably going to

1:01:00

hell. So just trying

1:01:02

to make make peace with myself and

1:01:04

add value to people's

1:01:05

lives, and that's yeah, you got whatever

1:01:07

you do, you gotta do it with enough freedom. I think that's

1:01:09

most important. Super. We have

1:01:11

covered the whole seven,

1:01:14

seven areas. And now, like I

1:01:16

said, this is around the corner. New areas

1:01:18

there, then this is probably a great time for

1:01:20

people to sit down and try

1:01:22

and, you know, make goals on each of

1:01:24

these different areas. Yep.

1:01:26

And now going

1:01:28

back to the point where you said you go on this

1:01:30

vacation with Bhakti and then plan the seven

1:01:32

areas of your lives. Then what are

1:01:34

the checkpoints that you have

1:01:36

in place to make sure that because what happens

1:01:38

for a lot of us is we set

1:01:40

that and then we forget till the next time

1:01:42

when it's time for us

1:01:43

to, you know, relook at and reset. So what are the

1:01:45

checkpoints that you put in place? As funny as this

1:01:47

may sound

1:01:50

for me The

1:01:52

important checkpoints really are

1:01:54

three things. Rolls, reports,

1:01:58

reviews. These are three things which are

1:02:00

my checkpoints. What do I mean by that? Say

1:02:02

for example, health. I was

1:02:04

born chubby. I grew in a

1:02:06

Cindy family. Where there were five types of

1:02:09

dishes for dinner. Okay? And

1:02:11

we were all stout

1:02:14

and overweight. And when someone idea

1:02:16

we used to be

1:02:18

like, by to

1:02:24

today, I can say that I had

1:02:27

a joint family pack. Now I've come

1:02:29

down to a family pack. Working

1:02:32

towards a a decent four or five pack

1:02:34

or even a single flat pack, six

1:02:36

pack is not yet a aspiration in

1:02:40

range. But I think for

1:02:42

me what shifted is in

1:02:44

the last five years of my

1:02:46

life clarity of the

1:02:48

importance of health And as a

1:02:50

result of that, knowing where

1:02:52

I stand there and I realized

1:02:54

my incompetence level is high

1:02:56

when it comes to my health.

1:02:58

I don't I don't have natural inclination

1:03:00

knowledge capability to take

1:03:02

care of my

1:03:02

health. Try to define rules, rules

1:03:04

that I need in my life,

1:03:08

for of people who take care of my health. So I've got a nutritionist.

1:03:10

So you've made a team in every aspect

1:03:12

of your life. I have a team for my health.

1:03:14

I've got a nutritionist. I

1:03:17

got a fitness trainer. I got a cook. Okay? Who

1:03:20

can make sure that they cook what they

1:03:22

do. See, if you have to do stuff by

1:03:24

yourself, you're

1:03:26

screwed. Then you will give the business.

1:03:28

Now some people may say, but Rajeev, for all

1:03:30

this, you need to have the money. Okay?

1:03:32

My principle is very, very

1:03:36

simple. People who say I'll do it when I have the never

1:03:38

have the money, nor have the time, nor

1:03:40

have the practice. I

1:03:42

work in a different framework. I I ask

1:03:44

myself, is

1:03:46

health important? Yes. Health is important. And is health necessity?

1:03:48

Yes. Health is unnecessary. So spending

1:03:50

money on health a necessity? Absolutely, it

1:03:53

is a necessity. So

1:03:56

I know I don't like cooking, neither does

1:03:58

my wife. We got a cook when we

1:04:00

were broke. This

1:04:05

is clarity. Mhmm. That shows who you are interested. Committed. Committed.

1:04:07

Committed.

1:04:07

Committed. Resources in

1:04:10

your priorities.

1:04:11

Okay? So I put resources. I gotta cook very

1:04:13

early even when we were broke. We gotta cook

1:04:15

because we realized that both our time, if we

1:04:18

spend it more on

1:04:20

our

1:04:20

business, we'll be able to make

1:04:21

that money. K? So we don't have to put ourselves through

1:04:23

the torture as, oh, we've lost a business, we

1:04:26

shut a

1:04:28

company down We don't have money. So now let's punish ourselves by

1:04:30

doing something we are not good at.

1:04:32

No. I won't

1:04:34

punish myself. So Gotta

1:04:36

cook very early. Slowly realized we

1:04:38

and the cook la clarity. But

1:04:41

let's get a nutritionist. And we

1:04:43

got a nutritionist not at the time life we were sorted financially.

1:04:45

But we said, okay, eating the right

1:04:47

food is important. It

1:04:50

will term in my energy levels, my immunity levels. I'd

1:04:52

rather be proactive than reactive in my life.

1:04:54

I got a fitness trainer on board when

1:04:56

I was not financially that sorted.

1:05:00

So for me, it's about identifying the rules because I'll

1:05:02

tell you the biggest excuse people give you is

1:05:04

I don't have the time. So build

1:05:08

teams If you don't have time and

1:05:10

it's important betteans in that area. Right? So I

1:05:12

got this team in place and they started

1:05:14

taking care of my health. So

1:05:17

I am a follower there. I'm

1:05:20

not a creator or a

1:05:22

manager. My cook is the manager. My

1:05:24

nutritionist is the manager. My my

1:05:26

trainer is the manager. I'm a

1:05:28

follower. I don't know this. You

1:05:30

tell me I do. That's

1:05:32

it. So build teams, you need to have

1:05:34

roles. Same

1:05:36

with I got a financial mentor. I got I found

1:05:38

a person who actually made

1:05:40

money. I didn't go to a broker

1:05:42

because he told me one thing. Brokers

1:05:44

are broke. So you don't go to a

1:05:46

broker. Go to someone who has

1:05:48

made money and show your

1:05:50

sincerity and hunger that you want to

1:05:52

learn. You will do what they ask you

1:05:54

to do. Okay? You will surrender. I found financial

1:05:56

mentor. He educated me on money. He educated

1:05:58

me on different asset classes. He

1:06:02

taught me equity mutual fund real estate, why you should do, what you

1:06:04

should do, when you should do. I

1:06:06

surrendered, and I followed your

1:06:08

discipline over

1:06:10

there. So roles are important, and business have been a big

1:06:12

propagator of building teams.

1:06:15

Right? For me, Rolls

1:06:18

is important. Building teams is important.

1:06:20

That's the start point. And when you put the

1:06:22

right roles in place now, that's when you'll realize,

1:06:25

Ajay, that living in and life is

1:06:26

effortless. Yeah. I think

1:06:27

half of your job is done. You just have

1:06:29

to follow. Yeah. You just have to follow. You gotta

1:06:31

show up and do what they're asking you

1:06:33

to do that

1:06:34

sit. Okay? You don't have to be the creator manager the

1:06:36

doer. You can't

1:06:38

just be the doer,

1:06:39

let someone create someone manage

1:06:42

you do.

1:06:42

That's it. So for me that has worked.

1:06:45

For me that worked in health,

1:06:47

worked in finances, in

1:06:50

relationships. Also, there are roles. I created

1:06:53

roles at home. I said,

1:06:55

look, when it comes

1:06:57

to decision making this house, let's understand whose

1:06:59

strength is what? My dad comes from the old

1:07:02

school. He knows distributors of every product

1:07:04

that we use at home. So is that procurement

1:07:06

you manage? Okay?

1:07:08

You manage. You manage a procurement. Experiences

1:07:10

my wife will manage. Because

1:07:12

she's good at creating those means

1:07:15

is if you're going on a holiday and punishing ourselves on that

1:07:17

holiday by living in a low standard substandard

1:07:20

place, no point going to

1:07:22

that holiday. So shopping, she'll manage. She

1:07:24

has a taste. She has a she she won't

1:07:26

compromise on fabric. She won't

1:07:28

compromise on this

1:07:30

to everybody. She's their boss

1:07:32

over there. Create a rolls at home.

1:07:34

Mom's the one connected to God. None of

1:07:36

us enter the pooja room. She's the

1:07:38

one connected. Look. Okay. She'll say,

1:07:40

tell I'm vegetarian. My father, he's not vegetarian.

1:07:42

That's it. That's it. The

1:07:44

head of spiritual connection has

1:07:47

told you that. So when you

1:07:49

create these kind of roles at home, no, there clarity in this situation, mom, who's taking

1:07:51

the lead. Relations become a

1:07:53

lot more effortless. But

1:07:56

if I have to tell my mom to go

1:07:59

shopping with my sisters and my wife, everybody

1:08:01

will come back home

1:08:04

unhappy. Because she'll see price tag. What a two thousand rupees got

1:08:06

top is too much? Like,

1:08:08

no. You identify strengths, play

1:08:10

their roles in

1:08:11

relationships, ask for their

1:08:14

strengths.

1:08:14

Right? Emotions, my sister will manage. She's the most emotionally

1:08:16

balanced and sound person. She

1:08:19

can call out the shoot

1:08:22

of my parents. She can call out my

1:08:24

shit. She can call out my wife's shit. She can call out

1:08:26

her own shit. So we've identified roles, which helps us

1:08:30

give lead to each other in different situations.

1:08:32

Okay? Now people sometimes say,

1:08:35

Rajiv, they are family

1:08:37

may be structured. I'm like

1:08:39

isn't that an important area? Ask so many people when I'll be

1:08:41

sharing when people will be watching this, they'll be

1:08:43

like, shit. This is

1:08:46

so freaking relevant. Most people are not

1:08:47

thinking of this when we worked on our end

1:08:49

life. So I

1:08:50

can do this podcast with authority and

1:08:53

tell you what works. Right? So rules

1:08:56

is important in every aspect your

1:08:58

business, your relationships, your health, your

1:09:01

your finances, Your recreation roles are important.

1:09:04

Identify what's their dream team. Okay?

1:09:06

I learned this from doctor John

1:09:08

DiMartini, and he's one of the wiser souls

1:09:10

I believe worked on this planet. He said something.

1:09:12

A effortless success is when you do what you

1:09:14

love doing and you find people who do what

1:09:16

you don't love doing with to

1:09:19

do it with love. I

1:09:21

don't love shopping. My wife loves it. Please take the lead. I don't

1:09:23

love sitting in the pujar room.

1:09:25

My mom loves

1:09:27

it. Please take

1:09:29

they play

1:09:30

on all our behalf. K? So effortless success, our true team is what, where everybody

1:09:32

is playing a role, which is in

1:09:34

alignment with their strength and their passion.

1:09:39

And in every home, there is a strength and passion. We

1:09:41

are not discussing it. In most homes, decisions

1:09:43

are made out of hierarchy,

1:09:46

which is where the disasters

1:09:48

happen. Which is where the lying

1:09:50

happens to our most dearest and nearest ones. Right? So, rules, that's

1:09:52

the first mechanism to live in

1:09:54

and I think half of your

1:09:58

job is done. Then is

1:10:00

then is reports. Okay? You got

1:10:02

to have your own structure of

1:10:05

of reviewing stuff with my fitness guy, I'll

1:10:08

have a reporting template. He'll

1:10:10

do my body mass analysis

1:10:12

once a month. He has an app.

1:10:14

He'll tell me, okay, this is it

1:10:16

boss. With my nutritionist, I have my recall sheet

1:10:18

of every day reporting to her. This is the food I ate. This is the

1:10:20

junk I put in at this hour. This

1:10:22

is where it went out of control.

1:10:26

You got to have a system with your finances same

1:10:28

thing. You got to review. You have your

1:10:30

reporting of your investments, your savings to

1:10:32

see where you stand in. It's not rocket

1:10:34

signs. It could be basic Excel sheets or today you have

1:10:36

apps or everything. And if you're working with a

1:10:38

professional, they have a reporting mechanism for

1:10:41

everything. So that's reports. That's your

1:10:43

checkpoint of where you enter data. Then is review. review when you sit,

1:10:45

you sit only to celebrate

1:10:48

or create. Not

1:10:51

to complain or complain, which is where I think

1:10:53

most people lose the battle again. Most people

1:10:55

when they review something and

1:10:57

they obviously are not

1:10:59

doing it perfectly, then either they complain or they

1:11:01

blame. They say, oh, this didn't happen because of this. My work is

1:11:03

too hectic. That's why I can't

1:11:06

do it. Okay. Work is hectic.

1:11:08

Great. Can I

1:11:10

look at that report and just define

1:11:12

what did I do well? What can I celebrate? If

1:11:14

work has been hectic, my food has been erratic,

1:11:19

I can go down to the level of celebrating out of thirty days

1:11:21

this month, eighteen days I was

1:11:24

compliant, twelve

1:11:26

days I did violations. I'll celebrate eighteen days. Now people may say about

1:11:28

Rajiv want you being a

1:11:30

a sucker for positivity over

1:11:33

here, but just celebrating those eighteen days.

1:11:35

No. I'm I'm being a sucker for

1:11:37

momentum. I'm a sucker for momentum.

1:11:40

I want to build momentum and

1:11:42

I believe nothing in this world

1:11:44

is worth me associating my own self esteem

1:11:46

by complaining about myself to

1:11:47

myself.

1:11:47

Well, celebrate.

1:11:49

Okay? And I'll create. Okay? I celebrated what's worked. Now I'll create a what is

1:11:51

not working, and I'll commit to

1:11:54

myself. I do it. You

1:11:57

celebrate great commit. You do these

1:11:59

three things in your reviews. You're sorted. That's my make up. Wow. Thank you

1:12:02

so

1:12:03

much, Rajeev, for kinda

1:12:05

decoding everything that goes behind, everything that you have built, whether that's in your

1:12:07

relationship, whether I tell

1:12:10

you that every time

1:12:12

I see you

1:12:14

or me too. You look younger.

1:12:16

And, you know, your business and

1:12:18

all the areas of life, I think,

1:12:21

This is the most comprehensive way somebody can sort

1:12:23

of look at life and also give the

1:12:25

frameworks and systems

1:12:28

and processes which

1:12:30

you are absolute genius when it comes to putting systems and processes that something. I just enjoyed

1:12:33

because for me,

1:12:36

I think

1:12:38

very early I came to a realization

1:12:40

that my life is more important than

1:12:42

my business. My business is just a

1:12:44

part of my life. And I have this

1:12:46

strange belief system, which works for me, where I say, if things in my

1:12:48

life are working, my business will automatically

1:12:50

work. Most people have it the reverse.

1:12:55

Then I'll focus on relationship, then I'll focus on

1:12:57

relationship, then I'll think

1:12:59

about it. I'm

1:13:00

like, my business is a

1:13:03

part of my I get my life

1:13:05

sorted. I'm

1:13:06

getting my business solved. I like working top down rather than bottom up.

1:13:10

This has been one hell of a conversation, you know.

1:13:12

Like, every time there's so much

1:13:14

to learn, there's so much to

1:13:17

learn from you learn from you and

1:13:18

it's a topic close to my heart. I don't talk about it because for

1:13:21

me, it's more a a practice than

1:13:23

something that I teach. So

1:13:26

I'm thankful to you for bringing this as a conversational topic

1:13:28

and helping me just pull it out

1:13:30

for people. Even if one

1:13:33

idea clicks with people, more than great. Yeah.

1:13:35

I think PIC, whatever works for you from

1:13:37

everything that we've shared, maybe, you know, something

1:13:39

that we discussed about relationship or

1:13:41

about finance or about

1:13:43

health, whatever PIC. Gets your attention just to

1:13:45

use that. But One step at a time. I mean, there's no three sixty

1:13:47

degree changes overnight. It's all putting

1:13:50

one step at a time in

1:13:53

When you gain the knowledge, you use it when

1:13:55

it's relevant. So use it when it's relevant. This has

1:14:00

been great. So is there any

1:14:02

parting words that you'd like to pass on? Nothing. I think I just said it one step at a time. I think

1:14:05

the most important

1:14:08

thing is Don't intimidate yourself with

1:14:10

what I've shared. Okay? Neither go into guilt. I think guilt is another waste

1:14:12

of time. Get excited

1:14:15

about the growth potential. Okay?

1:14:18

Even if everything's broken, get excited about the possibilities of growth and do it once every time. I think the most

1:14:20

important thing is we need

1:14:22

to be kind to ourselves. Some

1:14:26

of us just keep ripping ourselves, not worth

1:14:28

it. Just be kind and do one similar

1:14:30

thing. Thank you so much. Thank you, Bridget. Thank

1:14:33

you so much. Hey,

1:14:34

thank you so much for listening

1:14:36

to this episode. If you enjoyed listening

1:14:38

to this, I want you to do

1:14:43

two things per week. Number one, if you are listening

1:14:45

to this on Apple podcasts or

1:14:47

Spotify, subscribe to

1:14:50

the podcast and give five star ratings. This will help

1:14:52

me attract more listeners to this

1:14:54

podcast and take this information to

1:14:59

a wider So that we can help more

1:15:01

people grow in their life. And second, share this episode with at

1:15:04

least three

1:15:06

people in your network who you think need to hear

1:15:08

this episode. You never know, just by

1:15:10

sharing this episode, you can help

1:15:13

them transform their life. Be that person who

1:15:16

helps other grow in their life.

1:15:18

Thanks again for listening to this

1:15:20

episode. I'll catch you in the

1:15:22

next now go out there and do

1:15:28

something inspiring.