0:08

So for me, masculinity and femininity

0:10

simply is an acknowledgement of the fact

0:13

that men by gender have

0:15

certain attributes that are natural

0:18

to them and bring out the best in them. And

0:20

women have some natural attributes and characteristics

0:22

that are natural to them and bring out the best

0:25

in them. So nature doesn't believe in equality.

0:28

Let's face it, right? And a lot of things in the human

0:30

behavior are natural and evolutionary

0:33

as opposed to being intellectual and logical.

0:36

You know, people who have created cities and countries

0:38

and infrastructure are long-term thinkers. Majority

0:40

of them are men. It's in a man's instinct

0:42

in many cases to think that way. And we want to nurture that instinct

0:44

because that's positive for society and positive for families.

0:47

But women will naturally be driven by self-preservation.

0:49

How can I preserve myself and

0:52

how can I preserve my offspring? So there is a

0:54

difference in how we think. And I think the

0:56

feminist movement just denies that difference. And

0:59

to me, that's very hypocritical. Don't

1:02

agree with her when you want to disagree

1:04

with her. That's the problem because you're lying. And

1:06

she doesn't want you lying. The whole idea of compatibility

1:08

is that you shouldn't have to compromise too much. There should be

1:11

natural compatibility as well. So

1:13

chemistry is fantastic for you to come together.

1:15

Compatibility is fantastic for you to stay together.

1:24

From Wine Studio, you are listening to The

1:27

Inspiring Talk, a show where

1:29

I bring the conversations with today's most

1:31

successful and inspiring personalities

1:34

to help you take your life, business

1:37

and career to the next level.

1:46

This is the conversation I wish I had

1:48

when I was 17. It would have fundamentally

1:50

shifted the way I chased my goals

1:53

and dreams,

1:54

how I approached women and how I showed

1:56

up as the highest version of myself.

2:00

No matter if you identify as a man or

2:02

a woman, this conversation is

2:04

going to equally help you understand

2:06

your truest self.

2:08

If you are a man, this episode is going to help

2:10

you understand what it means to be a truly

2:13

masculine man.

2:15

Somebody who is driven by his mission,

2:18

somebody who loves to lead, somebody

2:20

who is a natural provider, and

2:22

somebody who doesn't fall for the mediocrity

2:24

that society is encouraging us to be.

2:26

And mind you, I'm not referring to toxic

2:29

masculine men out there who are aggressive and

2:31

violent, who seek the domination and control

2:33

over others. You don't want to be that one. And

2:35

if you are a woman, you will understand how

2:37

to thrive in your feminine energy,

2:40

how to build healthy, balanced relationship,

2:43

and also do things because you

2:45

like to, not because you have to.

2:47

This is probably one of the most balanced and

2:50

nuanced conversation when it comes to understanding

2:53

the two sides and understanding the polarity

2:55

between masculine and feminine energies.

2:58

To help us understand this concept, I

3:00

have invited Ron Malhotra

3:02

in this podcast, and Ron is

3:05

back for the third time on

3:07

the podcast and that doesn't usually happen in

3:09

this show. And there could

3:11

have been no better person than Ron to help us

3:13

understand about this topic because he's

3:16

somebody who has been talking about masculine

3:19

and feminine energies and balance since 2013

3:22

when he started the program called The

3:24

Successful Male. And he also does another

3:27

program called The Successful Women, where

3:29

they are working with men and women

3:32

to discover their natural

3:35

powers and thrive where they instinctively

3:37

were meant to thrive. Before

3:39

we begin this conversation, if you are listening

3:41

to this podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify,

3:44

or any of your favorite podcast listing platforms,

3:47

it would mean a world to me if

3:49

you can simply hit that follow button. And

3:51

if your app allows you to, just give

3:53

us 5 star rating that will

3:55

help the show to go bigger

3:58

and bigger the show gets. bigger

4:00

the guests we can bring.

4:02

Let's get started. Ron,

4:09

when I first interviewed you on the podcast,

4:12

a lot of people seem to have really

4:15

loved that conversation. And I was just

4:17

going through the comments on

4:19

the podcast. And people have said

4:21

that I have watched it 50 times.

4:24

And it was really, really powerful. And

4:27

people seem to love you in this podcast.

4:29

And this is the third time. And it

4:31

doesn't happen that I invite somebody.

4:34

No, it doesn't happen to me. That's very rare. It doesn't happen that for

4:36

me as well that I invite somebody like over and over

4:38

again. And this time, we're going to

4:40

talk about something. When I interviewed

4:43

you first time, I had no clue off. I

4:45

knew that he'd done something called as the successful

4:47

male. But

4:48

I said, why only a

4:50

successful male? What's going on there? And

4:54

last year, something shifted. I started

4:56

going deeper into this concept of

4:59

masculine and feminine. And I will

5:01

say, still, I'm a student. I'm learning a lot. And

5:03

I thought I'm at a point where I can at least

5:06

ask questions and try and have a deeper understanding

5:08

about. So

5:10

for somebody who's listening

5:12

to this conversation and have

5:14

heard about the term masculine and feminine

5:17

as a word, what that entails?

5:19

What is what does masculine mean?

5:21

What does feminine mean? And then we can

5:23

go deeper into it.

5:25

Look, first of all, I think I'm going to start by

5:27

saying I'm not an expert

5:29

on this topic, but I've had quite

5:32

a number of years of

5:34

primary observations that I've made through the successful

5:37

male and a lot of

5:39

experience in this space as well.

5:41

Whilst I'm not, I wouldn't

5:43

say I'm a specialist

5:45

in this area. You

5:46

know, sometimes there's a lot of common sense

5:49

one can apply to understand how things work.

5:51

So for me, masculinity and femininity

5:53

simply is an acknowledgement of the fact

5:56

that men by gender have

5:59

certain attributes. that are natural

6:01

to them and bring out the best in them. And

6:03

women have some natural attributes and characteristics

6:06

that are natural to them and bring out the best in

6:08

them. And I think this conversation is

6:10

important today because

6:13

we take this conversation for granted. We just assume

6:15

that men act like men, women act like women. Why

6:17

do we need to have a conversation about this?

6:20

We have never really needed to have

6:22

this conversation up until recently

6:24

because the roles

6:27

have come under stress scrutiny,

6:31

and it's been questioned. And

6:35

there are potential repercussions of

6:39

rearranging and reorganizing the roles.

6:42

And so I think now it's important that

6:45

we have a conversation about this because

6:47

one of the fortunate

6:50

things that has happened with me is being

6:52

born in India and then having lived a majority

6:55

of my life in a Western part of the world,

6:58

I have two different perspectives

7:00

here. India being a predominantly

7:03

patriarchal society,

7:04

and then Australia being a predominantly

7:07

feminist society. I don't know how many Australians actually

7:09

would agree with me when I say this, but

7:12

it's definitely a very feminist as

7:14

a society. And I'm not saying this as

7:16

a criticism. I'm just acknowledging the fact that the

7:19

dynamics are quite different in

7:21

Australia. So that's given me a pretty good understanding.

7:23

I do want to say, though, that when

7:26

I was growing up, I have grown up in

7:28

India in a family where women were very

7:30

strong. And quite a lot

7:32

of women in the family had a Western

7:35

outlook.

7:36

So they were very

7:38

critical of the behaviors of Indian

7:40

men. And so I remember those conversations

7:43

when I was a child. So I think I grew

7:45

up in a very feminist environment, even in India,

7:48

which is unlike a lot of people. I

7:50

actually grew in a very feminist environment in India.

7:52

And then when we moved to Australia, I moved

7:54

from one feminist environment in the family

7:57

to a feminist environment in another

7:59

country. So I think for most

8:01

of my life, I had feminist views

8:04

without even realizing it. But there's

8:06

been a significant shift in my attitude

8:08

and my outlook and the way I think about masculinity

8:11

and femininity, probably most so

8:13

in the last sort of seven or eight years. I

8:16

have now, I have

8:17

become a big advocate

8:21

of masculine behaviors. And

8:23

it's something that I've only begin to understand in

8:25

the last seven to eight years,

8:27

and I would have never

8:30

even realized that I had feminist views myself.

8:33

So it's interesting, I've gone through a bit of a journey

8:35

myself and now

8:38

if men ever approach me, there

8:40

seems to be a lot of confusion on this subject. I

8:42

provide my perspectives and I'm

8:45

very encouraging of masculine behaviors.

8:47

In men.

8:48

Yes, in men, I should. Actually, I'm

8:50

glad that you said that because

8:52

it's not automatically implied anymore.

8:54

We could be talking about encouraging masculine

8:56

behaviors in women, which

8:58

you will see a lot of women that are

9:01

behaving in a sort of masculine way. And

9:04

so yes, in men.

9:06

So for me, I was introduced

9:08

a little over a year when

9:11

I had just started dating and

9:14

my girlfriend, she sent me this

9:16

book by David Deda, The

9:18

Way of a Superior Man. And that opened

9:21

a lot of things for me on how I

9:23

saw a relationship, how I saw the

9:25

polarity of men and

9:28

women. And since then, it has been

9:31

just trying to learn as much as I can,

9:33

trying to read as much as I can from

9:35

the people who have done a lot of work

9:38

on that. So one of the things that

9:40

I saw that, hey, as a society

9:42

at large, how that disbalance

9:45

in the

9:46

roles of a man and a woman

9:49

can really, and my

9:51

sense is, and you can sort of

9:54

add to this, what I see is a

9:56

lot of women in the one hand are

9:59

made to feel the presence of women.

9:59

pressure that, hey, you need to really achieve.

10:02

You can't rely on a man or you

10:04

have to really earn your own bread.

10:06

And on the other hand, men are

10:10

similarly like, hey, support the whole feminist

10:12

movement. And if you are driven,

10:15

if you're just focused on your goal and

10:17

not worried about what's going on, then

10:19

you are toxic. And that to

10:21

me, at a larger scale, felt

10:24

that, hey, how did we arrive in this

10:26

situation? I think what

10:29

I felt, a lot of people confused

10:31

the whole conversation around masculine

10:33

and feminine balance is that,

10:36

do you mean that you want women to be at home

10:38

just making food and taking care of kids?

10:40

And I think that's where the whole thing

10:42

is. So do you feel that generally the world is

10:45

more masculine while men themselves

10:48

are emasculated?

10:50

We have to understand how this is originating.

10:53

I think for most

10:55

of human history,

10:56

religion has been the guiding factor.

10:59

Religion and culture have been the guiding factor

11:01

around the family unit

11:04

and how families and societies are

11:06

conducted. But as intellectualism

11:08

has starting to take a strong foothold, people

11:11

are researchers and academics

11:13

and people who are experts and rely

11:16

predominantly on data, are starting

11:18

to question the validity of having

11:20

culture and religion decide

11:23

how we should live in society and in family. And

11:25

so a lot of them are starting to say, well, isn't

11:27

gender a social construct?

11:30

And because women

11:33

have been oppressed

11:34

in many parts of the world, predominantly

11:36

in patriarchal parts of the world, the

11:38

intellectualism

11:40

perspective is that, you

11:42

know, this is just a social construct and it's time

11:45

for us to dismantle it. And we need

11:47

to question it. And women don't

11:49

need to act in any particular way,

11:51

men don't need to act in a particular way. We've

11:54

just created this system. And so the

11:56

intellectuals will argue that we've

11:58

just fabricated this whole system and it's not

11:59

really good for women. So we need to change it. Now,

12:02

I'm partially in agreement and

12:04

partially in disagreement. I believe

12:06

that women have been oppressed, not

12:09

because of masculinity, because masculinity

12:11

is actually very positive. Masculinity is about

12:14

enabling men understand that their role

12:16

in society is to build, to create,

12:19

to pretend, to protect, to defend, to

12:21

build. And it's to

12:24

make sure that as

12:26

physically being stronger,

12:29

we have to, we're supposed to carry more responsibility

12:32

for our societies, communities, and

12:34

families. What has happened in some countries

12:37

is that we have put men

12:39

on a pedestal,

12:40

and we put all the responsibility on women.

12:43

And so what we've said is, look, women, you need to submit

12:45

your authority to these men.

12:47

But the way scriptures used to work, traditionally,

12:50

the system came about because the way the

12:52

system was supposed to work is that men are supposed

12:54

to submit their authority to God.

12:57

And that means a man is supposed

12:59

to commit to wisdom, truth,

13:02

courage, you know, all the qualities, faith,

13:05

all the qualities that are representative of

13:07

spirituality.

13:09

And in the event where men are submitting

13:11

their authority to God and not being gods

13:13

themselves, not pretending to be gods, then there was

13:16

an expectation that women would submit

13:18

their authority to men, and then children would

13:20

submit their authority to women, and

13:22

so on and so forth. So what's happened is

13:24

because men did not take good

13:26

responsibility of society and their families,

13:29

because men became addicted to comforts and

13:31

conveniences

13:32

and became

13:34

entitled, hey, this is my right,

13:36

you're a woman, you need to listen to me, you need to do this,

13:39

effectively expecting women to submit

13:41

their authority to them, but not submitting their

13:43

authority to becoming a better man themselves

13:46

by seeking God.

13:47

What has happened is women are not rebelling, and

13:50

rightfully so. Women are saying, you know what, I'm

13:52

oppressed, you're not, you're asking

13:54

me to submit to you, but

13:57

you're not really a smart man, you're not a wise man,

13:59

you're not a strong man.

13:59

man, you're not a responsible man.

14:02

And so women are right in that way.

14:04

They have every right. And so I always

14:06

say, you know, part of being a masculine,

14:08

you know, if you want women to submit that

14:11

authority to you as a man,

14:12

you never have to ask for it. You should

14:14

never demand it. Generally, women are

14:17

quite happy to submit that authority to

14:19

a man

14:19

when they feel comfortable, safe, and they

14:22

feel that the man is a leader, and he's

14:24

capable. We should never have

14:26

to get to a point in society where we're demanding

14:28

these from women. We need to earn the right for

14:31

women to submit their authority. So the

14:33

issue is we've demanded it. We've forced women

14:35

to give up their authority. And in many cases,

14:38

women have given up their authority to please culture,

14:40

society, and religion,

14:42

only to realize that they've given up their authority to

14:44

a man who is not capable, not responsible, not

14:46

mature, not a real great leader. And

14:48

it's not really building and creating and not providing for the family,

14:51

and not really making a difference to the community.

14:53

So

14:54

women feel disadvantaged from that point of view. It's

14:56

like, you know, I've given up my life for this guy,

14:58

and this guy is pretty useless.

15:00

So that's potentially been the root cause

15:02

of the feminist movement. That's

15:04

sparked of the feminist movement, because it's not

15:06

just in patriarchal societies, actually, in most

15:09

societies, even in

15:10

any society where religions had a strong

15:12

foothold, whether it's Hinduism, or it's

15:14

Christianity, or it's Islam,

15:16

the reality has been that wherever

15:19

women have felt oppressed,

15:21

the feminist movement has taken off.

15:24

And it continues to grow. And

15:25

I think it needs to go since many respects, I

15:28

think it's very justified, it needs to be because, you

15:30

know, women are not inferior in any

15:32

way, we what we need to understand is that women

15:34

have equal rights, it shouldn't even be a conversation.

15:37

It's actually quite bizarre that we even have to fight,

15:40

women have to fight for their rights as human

15:42

beings.

15:43

However, the feminist movement has

15:45

gone to another extreme now, where instead

15:47

of being pro women's rights, it's actually become

15:49

anti men.

15:51

So that's the ugly side of feminism,

15:54

feminist, feminist, not feminism, but feminist movement,

15:56

which is now seeing all symbolic.

15:59

symbolic gestures and characteristics

16:02

of being a man as

16:03

toxic masculinity.

16:06

And it's placing societal and cultural

16:08

pressure for

16:09

men to submit their authority to women

16:12

or have no authority at all. And

16:14

so the question is, is that good for society?

16:17

And is that good for the women in

16:19

itself, right? Is that good for women, for

16:21

men to have no authority?

16:23

So the thing is, there

16:25

is two ways to look at this. You can look at it from a biological

16:28

perspective, and then you can look at it from a logical or

16:30

intellectual perspective. The logical and intellectual

16:32

perspective is, you know, why should

16:34

you have any authority as a guy?

16:36

You know, we're the same. In fact, I can have authority over

16:38

you.

16:39

However, the biological perspective is that

16:41

are women actually attracted to men who

16:43

are not masculine?

16:44

Are feminine women

16:46

attracted to men who are not masculine? Because

16:48

you can logically demand one thing,

16:51

but we instinctively gravitate towards another

16:53

thing. And what we respond to

16:55

may be two different things. So in a way, what we're

16:57

seeing now is in the West, women

17:00

demanded that men give up their authority

17:03

in many respects, not all women, but a lot

17:05

of the feminist women demanded that. Obviously,

17:07

men felt the pressure,

17:08

and a lot of men gave up their authority.

17:11

And the men who gave up their authority effectively

17:15

were no longer as attractive to feminine

17:17

women. And so the feminine women

17:20

felt that, you know, there are no real men out there. Because

17:24

in many ways that polarity exists, you know,

17:26

we, as a man, I

17:28

appreciate and recognize feminine

17:31

behaviors.

17:32

And I find them to be very pleasing.

17:34

I don't do it by choice. I'm instinctively

17:37

designed that way. You can't force me to

17:39

prefer something else. When I see

17:41

masculine behavior in a woman, I

17:44

naturally find that to be a bit of a put-off.

17:47

I'm turned off by it.

17:48

And it repels me. You

17:50

can't blame me for it. I'm not choosing

17:53

to respond this way. You can't force

17:55

me, you can't guilt me into feeling any

17:57

different.

17:58

I just feel that way when I'm with a man. masculine woman,

18:00

I don't want to be around her because I have

18:03

masculine energy. And so it clashes.

18:05

On the other hand, when I see an example

18:07

of a woman who is feminine, that's

18:10

not to say that she's weak. And part of

18:12

the issue is how we perceive these words. You

18:14

see, men are strong when they're masculine, women

18:17

are strong when they're feminine,

18:18

because that's what they'll be doing is we're using unnatural,

18:20

we're

18:21

using what is natural to us

18:23

and we're using it as an advantage.

18:25

So what has happened is the perception is that women

18:28

are weak with femininity, therefore they need to become

18:30

masculine. But I think

18:32

that women are losing even more power by

18:34

becoming masculine because number one, they're clashing with

18:37

a lot of men. Second,

18:39

they are taking on a level of responsibility, which

18:42

is making them resent

18:43

their life. And thirdly, they're not being able to play

18:45

out their function as a woman of nurturing,

18:48

caring as well.

18:49

So it's not about saying to women, be in the kitchen. No,

18:51

I think we need to encourage women

18:53

to have their own careers. Women

18:55

are fantastic leaders,

18:57

but we have to acknowledge that the way men lead

19:00

and create and build is different from the way

19:02

women lead, create and build. And there

19:04

are some inherent differences that in

19:06

some cases require men to have authority.

19:09

As an example, you

19:10

know, we're in this room right now, we're in this

19:12

particular building.

19:14

Let's just imagine we're not in the room and we're outside

19:16

the building and the building catches fire.

19:19

And let's just say there are some children and all people

19:21

trapped into this building. We will expect

19:24

women to run into the building. We will expect

19:26

women to run out screaming

19:29

and nobody's going to consider that to be cowardly

19:31

behavior because we are

19:33

subconsciously acknowledging

19:35

that women have a need to preserve

19:37

themselves and their offsprings first.

19:39

But society will have an expectation that if you and

19:42

I are standing outside

19:44

and the building's on fire and there are people trapped in the building,

19:46

that we run in and rescue those people.

19:48

You and I running away screaming

19:50

is going to be considered cowardly behavior.

19:52

So as much as we're pretending that there is no difference,

19:55

the reality is the same people who are pretending that there

19:57

is no difference would judge us very differently

19:59

if we behave. like women. And rightfully so.

20:01

I think I do very strongly believe that it's our duty

20:04

as men to

20:05

be the protectors, to be the defenders of society,

20:08

because if nature has given us

20:10

slightly more superior capability, I

20:13

think it also

20:14

places the obligation on us

20:17

to have more responsibility in creating, building,

20:19

defending and protecting. So I won't have a problem

20:21

with that.

20:22

But I have a problem with, hey, you need to go

20:24

and rescue people there. We want you

20:26

to take on a much higher level of responsibility.

20:28

We want you to take on a much higher level of risk. We want you

20:30

to endure a high level of hardship.

20:33

But in every situation, we will demand

20:35

that we get the same privileges as you as well. You see

20:38

the issue with that now that I have an issue with that,

20:40

because that's kind of having double standards,

20:43

right? Why would if a

20:45

woman is competing with me, why would

20:47

I ever feel the desire to provide for her

20:49

to look after her to care for her?

20:51

She may not need it physically,

20:53

but women sometimes appreciate a man looking after

20:55

I know a lot of women who have told me that they

20:57

really would like

20:59

a real man to look after

21:01

them and to treat them. And

21:03

so I think the problem now is that

21:06

the feminist movement has actually hurt women,

21:09

not just men.

21:10

It's ruined the prospects for a

21:12

lot of women, because as

21:14

it's taken off, men have become more

21:16

hesitant about approaching women.

21:19

Men have become more hesitant about proposing

21:21

to women. Men have become more hesitant

21:24

about committing to women. Is that because

21:26

the

21:26

whole movement and the empowerment

21:29

has said that it's okay for you

21:31

as a woman to go and approach a man?

21:33

Yeah, but the reality is, we have

21:35

some hunting instincts already. It's

21:38

instinctive in us to be the person who takes

21:40

the risk and then reaps the reward for that risk.

21:43

I think if women can definitely approach men,

21:45

but the reality is, I would say that the

21:48

more masculine a man is, the more put off he's going to be

21:50

by that behavior. And this is not a conversation that

21:52

most people want to have, because we want to pretend

21:54

that this stuff doesn't happen. But nature

21:57

hasn't made things the same.

21:59

given the lion teeth and claws

22:02

and it didn't give buffaloes

22:04

the ability to defend itself.

22:06

So nature doesn't believe in equality. Let's

22:08

face it, right? And a lot of things in the human behavior

22:11

are natural and evolutionary

22:14

as opposed to being intellectual and logical. So

22:17

it's about accepting what we can change

22:19

and then it's using that to go, you know, how

22:21

do we create equilibrium and respect between

22:23

the genders and how do we acknowledge the strengths that

22:25

they have in different ways, rather than

22:27

women pretending to be men or men pretending to be women.

22:30

What we really need to do is understand

22:32

where women shine naturally, give them the

22:34

space to shine there and where men shine

22:36

naturally and give them the space to shine there rather than

22:38

putting pressure on the genders to engage

22:41

in roles role reversals.

22:43

A lot of thoughts there. One

22:45

of the things that you've

22:47

said is about

22:50

the comfort when you give a man comfort.

22:52

And this is something that you've said in one of the interviews that

22:55

if you give women the comfort,

22:57

they thrive. And

22:59

if you give men comfort,

23:01

they are ruined.

23:03

So what do you mean when you

23:05

say that comfort ruins a man?

23:08

There's a saying that a woman's power

23:11

is in her beauty and a man's beauty

23:13

is in his power. The men

23:15

that have been the most revered in history,

23:18

respected, considered to be leaders

23:21

have been men that

23:23

have followed their masculine function

23:26

in life. The same thing with women. Women

23:28

who have followed their feminine function in life have been

23:30

considered to be beautiful, graceful,

23:33

nurturing, and strong, but

23:35

in a different way. And so what's happened is, you

23:37

know, somebody had asked me in one of my events in

23:39

the successful male,

23:40

you know, what does

23:43

masculinity represent to you? And

23:46

I said, if I had to pick one

23:48

word, there are many words that come to mind. But if I had to pick one

23:50

word, I would say the word hardship,

23:52

the ability to enjoy hardship.

23:54

I find that as a man, when I,

23:56

you know, I became at some point very

23:59

comfort and convenient.

23:59

and security driven.

24:01

And what that was resulting in was

24:04

I was starting to lose my sense

24:06

of self-worth. I could see that I was

24:08

starting to decline in my confidence.

24:11

I was no longer as assertive. I was becoming very

24:13

passive in life. I was starting to use justifying

24:16

statements like I don't need to be successful.

24:18

I just need to be happy. I just need to be peaceful.

24:21

And

24:21

I didn't realize it at the time but I now

24:24

look at it as, without even

24:26

realizing it, I

24:27

was starting to become more feministic in

24:29

my views.

24:30

I was going from this need, the

24:33

natural need that I've always had as a young boy,

24:35

to build, advance, conquer,

24:37

to now go move towards

24:39

preservation and settling, right? And

24:41

so

24:42

one of the things I realized was

24:44

when I started to do that, I was no longer

24:46

feeling joy and I was starting to, my

24:48

self-esteem was starting to drop.

24:50

And also I felt like

24:52

I was becoming more and more fearful and

24:55

I was more and more moved from advancing

24:57

towards self-preservation.

24:59

Women on the other hand, if they

25:01

start to

25:02

really put a lot of attention into

25:04

advancing and conquering,

25:06

may experience the opposite effect. They may experience

25:08

that because they're doing that,

25:10

you know, and I'm certainly there are going to be exceptions

25:12

to this,

25:13

but I find that generally speaking a

25:15

lot of women feel more comfortable when they have

25:18

more time for their families, for their beauty.

25:20

I'm

25:20

not saying that they should not pursue

25:23

some sort of a commercial endeavor. Absolutely

25:25

they should. And the women make great entrepreneurs

25:27

and leaders and I completely acknowledge that. But it's

25:30

the way we are driven, you know, I'm aggressively

25:32

driven in some respects. And I

25:35

feel the society's pressure for me to curb

25:37

my aggression. But the problem is,

25:39

if I curb my aggression,

25:41

is that the same aggression that forces

25:43

me to endure hardship and take

25:46

risk, which is necessary to build and create?

25:48

If you start to curb that, would I build

25:50

and create? Would I have the desire to protect for my

25:52

provide for my family and take care of their future?

25:54

I think those things are like two sides

25:57

of the same coin.

25:59

So we have to be very careful.

25:59

that we don't encourage men to give

26:02

up their aggression. What we really need to teach men

26:04

is how to channel their aggression towards

26:06

their mission rather than using aggression towards

26:08

people.

26:10

And this is where we've gone wrong.

26:12

So rather than teaching men that

26:14

listen, you don't, like in the 60s

26:16

and 70s, men were very masculine. You look at

26:18

the old Marlboro ads, man

26:21

sitting on a horse wearing a cowboy hat, had

26:23

a cigarette in his now deep voices,

26:25

big chests.

26:27

They would come and pick up the woman and

26:29

walk away and that kind of thing, right? So

26:31

those elements of masculinity are still craved

26:34

by feminine women. Feminine women in

26:36

their own, if they're being really honest with themselves,

26:38

and this is the thing, some people are not honest with themselves.

26:41

A lot of feminine women still crave that element.

26:43

The problem though was that

26:46

a lot of those men back in the 60s and 70s

26:48

were not emotionally and spiritually

26:50

evolved. So they had the masculine attributes

26:53

without the emotional intelligence

26:55

and the spiritual awareness. So what we

26:57

did, how society perceived that was, because

27:00

they don't have emotional

27:01

intelligence and spiritual awareness,

27:04

the problem, the root cause is masculinity. So

27:06

we attacked the wrong thing.

27:07

What we should have done was to say, hey, the

27:10

masculinity part is actually really good. Let's

27:12

preserve that, but let's compliment

27:14

that with enabling men

27:16

to become more emotionally aware

27:19

and spiritually aware so they don't become a

27:21

liability. They don't become oppressive to

27:23

their families and societies.

27:25

And men can be fantastic leaders. We

27:27

have an inbuilt desire to build and create, but we

27:29

need to take control of our mind

27:32

and our emotions. Men can be dangerous

27:35

when we don't have the skill

27:37

to manage our thoughts and our emotions.

27:40

The answer is not to give up the aggression

27:43

that drives us. The answer is

27:45

to help us understand how we can channel

27:47

that aggression. So I think we've attacked the wrong

27:49

problem here.

27:51

And what are the implications of this? Well, the implications

27:53

is that in most countries where

27:56

feminism, the feminist movement has taken off,

27:59

we are seeing higher.

27:59

divorce rates.

28:01

You might say, what's the problem with that?

28:03

High divorce rates means that children are not growing

28:05

up with both parents. We are yet to see

28:07

the long-term implications of children being

28:09

born without spending enough time with,

28:11

or children being raised without spending enough time with both

28:13

parents. Is that actually healthy for a child's

28:16

conditioning? That's the question number one. Question

28:18

number two, the

28:19

research is saying that men's sperm count,

28:21

there

28:21

has been steadily dropping. Distosterone

28:24

levels are dropping. That means men

28:26

are

28:27

less likely to reproduce.

28:29

If a country is not, that

28:31

would result in a declining birth rate.

28:33

A declining birth rate is not good

28:35

for a nation's strength.

28:37

It's not good for the culture. It

28:39

is not good for the economy.

28:41

So there are implications of that.

28:43

Societies that are patriarchal tend to have a high birth

28:45

rate,

28:46

but that's not to say that we need, we don't

28:48

need to change anything about that patriarchal society.

28:50

What we do need to do is we

28:53

need to maintain the levels of masculinity in

28:55

those patriarchal societies, but

28:57

compliment that

28:58

with men becoming more wise,

29:01

spiritually aware, and emotionally intelligent,

29:04

so that men know how to channel that natural

29:07

masculine drive, that testosterone

29:09

surge towards constructive

29:12

endeavors rather than destructive

29:14

endeavors.

29:16

One of the things that what stuck with me when

29:19

I was reading the book was that, like

29:21

you said, the men, what

29:24

really drives them, what they

29:26

really want to do is chase the mission.

29:31

Back in the days when we had hunters and

29:33

gatherers, just go out

29:35

and sort of hunt, go out there, be

29:37

face fears, like you said. And then women

29:41

instinctively will choose somebody who

29:43

had more resource. One

29:46

thing, like you said, what really fascinated

29:48

me was like,

29:49

and a lot of people who listen to this to some

29:52

level will resonate with this, like, well, you know,

29:54

very young people, right, in young

29:57

women, when they're dating somebody, they

29:59

would say that,

29:59

oh, you know what, I'm dating this guy, but

30:02

I know that he's not gonna be my husband.

30:04

And I feel that that is their

30:06

instinct, telling them that,

30:09

hey, you know what, he can be fun as a boyfriend,

30:11

but

30:12

he can't be somebody

30:14

who can provide me, or

30:17

the kid so that he can take

30:19

good care. And I think that instinctively

30:21

is something that is so embedded

30:24

and when they see a

30:26

man who is not as driven by his mission,

30:28

like you said, is such a huge turn off for

30:31

women, right? And for the men out there

30:33

who are, and

30:35

to everything that you've said, one of the things that my

30:37

own understanding of this is, and because

30:39

a lot of men wanted to

30:42

be seen in the good light with a lot

30:44

of women who were saying that, hey, you know what, we are

30:46

equal, we gotta do the things now, we're gonna be

30:48

out there, you know, we can do everything

30:51

men can do physically and so on and so forth, the whole

30:54

feminism movement, they sort

30:56

of.

30:57

But that's not actually true, because women are still underrepresented

30:59

on construction sites, they're still

31:01

underrepresented in wars, they're

31:03

still underrepresented in military

31:05

combat, so that's actually not true,

31:08

right? And so there's a real denial there

31:11

that the feminist movement, they're making claims

31:13

that are actually simply not true.

31:14

That doesn't make men superior, by the way. With

31:17

great power comes great responsibility. Men

31:19

have to understand that you don't have that

31:21

natural physical strength to oppress women.

31:24

That's not what it's there for.

31:25

What it's really there for is to channel

31:27

towards building and something for society.

31:29

And men have always been long-term thinkers. I mean, some of the best

31:32

people who have created history, majority

31:34

of people who have created history, you know, people who

31:36

have created cities and countries and infrastructure

31:39

are long-term thinkers. Majority of them are men. Mostly,

31:42

overwhelmingly are men. They think men, because

31:44

men are thinking about intergenerational, they're thinking about legacy.

31:47

It's in a man's instinct in many cases to

31:49

think that way. And we wanna nurture that instinct, because that's positive

31:52

for society and positive for families. So

31:54

women will naturally be driven by self-preservation.

31:56

How can I preserve myself? And

31:58

how can I preserve my offspring?

31:59

So there is a difference in how we think. And

32:02

I think the feminist movement just denies that difference.

32:05

And that's, to me, that's very hypocritical.

32:08

So in a relationship, right? So somebody

32:10

who's listening to this and said, OK, and what

32:12

I've seen is like when a woman and a man, if

32:15

they are in a relationship and the men,

32:19

if that person fails to take on

32:21

the masculine responsibility

32:24

of providing for that, then women

32:26

naturally, their masculine self sort of takes

32:28

over. What are the implications

32:31

of something like that happening in

32:33

a relationship when women start taking

32:35

more on their masculine roles and

32:37

then men start sort of coming

32:39

to their more feminine thing where

32:42

they are dependent on women to earn

32:44

the bread?

32:45

I think, first of all, I think that I

32:47

definitely believe that men need to take more

32:49

responsibility in terms of

32:51

they carry the burden because

32:53

if they've got

32:54

those extra rights or they've got

32:56

that extra strength, they carry the burden of taking a

32:58

high level of responsibility.

33:00

Nobody should be entitled enough to think

33:02

I have more rights without the responsibilities

33:05

that come with it. I think men need to take risks

33:07

as well. On top of that, taking responsibility,

33:09

men need to take more risks. We do need to approach women

33:11

more.

33:12

But we also need to respect her

33:14

boundaries.

33:15

And so I think a lot of the guys who

33:17

get friends zoned

33:19

are the guys who are

33:20

deceiving, trying to deceive women. They actually

33:23

want, in many cases,

33:24

they want to date the woman or

33:27

they see her

33:27

as a potential partner. But they're

33:30

not being forthright with their intentions.

33:33

And so what's happening is they

33:35

start behaving in a sort

33:37

of a non-assertive manner, which

33:40

is less representative of masculinity.

33:42

And so I think women are very guided

33:45

by their instincts and genes

33:46

to say, OK, this guy is not

33:49

assertive. And therefore,

33:52

I am going to see him as one

33:54

of my female friends.

33:56

And so that's how our guys get friends zoned, right?

33:59

And I'm going to talk about that.

33:59

I think men need to stop playing that game of deception,

34:02

be upfront and be forthright. Obviously,

34:05

you need to be very careful that you're not upfront immediately,

34:08

but at some point you want to be clear with your intentions.

34:10

But at the same time, you've got to know to respect the boundaries.

34:13

If she's not interested in you, there's nothing you can do.

34:15

Men need to understand that we can't enforce

34:18

attraction on women. Either if women are not attracted

34:20

to you, that's usually because deeply they don't feel respect

34:22

for you either.

34:23

You can't force it. You can't get mad at a

34:25

woman for not feeling attraction towards you.

34:28

If she doesn't feel attraction towards

34:30

you, you're not attractive to her. It

34:32

might be your personality. It might be your appearance. It might

34:34

be your hygiene. It might be the fact that you're

34:37

not living your masculine nature, whatever it is,

34:39

take responsibility for it

34:41

and improve yourself. Don't blame her for it. Don't

34:43

get mad at her for it.

34:45

Genetically, she's been guided

34:47

to mates with the best male specimen

34:50

that she can find who is going to protect

34:52

her and he's going to protect her offspring and

34:54

who's going to fight off any danger.

34:56

So she's looking for assertiveness and she's looking

34:59

for leadership, but she's looking for that assertiveness

35:01

to protect her, not to dominate

35:04

and oppress her.

35:05

So men don't understand that in many

35:07

cases, right? And that's why

35:09

I really strongly believe that if a woman

35:11

is lost, and this is one of the claims that

35:14

I made in my video, which was very controversial

35:16

and you could see some of the men

35:18

did not really interpret what I was saying,

35:21

but if a woman is losing attraction

35:23

for you, you're responsible.

35:25

If she cheats on you, you're responsible.

35:27

I'm not condoning her behaviors.

35:30

What I'm saying though is you can't blame

35:32

her. Attraction is not something that we choose.

35:35

We don't choose it. We are biologically,

35:38

we gravitate towards certain behaviors and certain

35:42

attributes. And if you don't have them,

35:44

you want a woman to be naturally attracted to develop

35:46

those attributes. Don't blame her for it. So,

35:49

you know, so I feel that if a woman is not

35:51

interested in you, there's nothing you can do about

35:53

it. All you've got to do is the best you can do is better

35:55

yourself as a man

35:57

and make sure that you have good value

35:59

out there in the market.

35:59

place that other women see you as somebody that's

36:02

worth dating, worth marrying, worth

36:04

having a sexual relation with.

36:05

But you can't enforce it on women.

36:07

I think that's a sign of weakness.

36:09

I very strongly believe that a jealous man is

36:11

a weak man.

36:12

He's a man who doesn't want to work on himself. He

36:14

wants the woman to work

36:16

on her attraction rather than

36:18

work on his attractiveness,

36:20

right? So I find that that's symbolic

36:23

of weakness. And look, that's

36:25

not to say that we don't feel envy sometimes. We feel

36:27

jealousy. But when we feel jealousy,

36:30

what we really acknowledging is that

36:32

we feel that somebody's better than us.

36:34

Now that should be a signal to us. And this is where emotional

36:37

awareness comes in. I'm not feeling comfortable

36:39

around this man. He's making me feel uncomfortable.

36:42

Let me not hate him. Let me examine

36:44

why I'm not feeling comfortable around him. He possesses

36:46

certain attributes. I know instinctively

36:49

that those attributes are desirable by the

36:51

woman that I'm dating. Let me improve

36:53

myself.

36:54

You know, to me, that's taking responsibility.

36:56

That's being self-aware. Rather than getting mad

36:58

at her and getting mad at him, all

37:01

he's doing is he's living his masculine nature.

37:04

All she's doing is following her instincts,

37:06

following her, where her attractions are.

37:08

And we logically blaming them and we trying

37:10

to suppress their natural behaviors. What

37:13

we really need to do is examine ourselves and go, how can we

37:15

better ourselves? The reality is, look,

37:17

every man, every woman has some insecurities.

37:20

I very strongly believe that every man in the world

37:23

can be at least a seven or eight out of 10.

37:26

No matter what you look like, no matter how you are genetically,

37:29

if you take care of your personality, you take care of your

37:31

skin, you take care of your health, right? You

37:33

become decent with, you know, in terms

37:35

of social skills. You have some reasonable

37:37

accomplishments. All of this is within your control.

37:40

I think every man can be at least a seven or eight out of 10. But

37:43

that doesn't give you the right to expect women to be

37:45

attracted to you. There's nothing you can do. If

37:47

she's not attracted to you, let her go.

37:49

Make yourself a better man so you can attract

37:51

the right woman.

37:52

And I think that's why I keep saying that, you know, as

37:55

men, we have to take that responsibility and stop blaming

37:57

women. Women are simply doing what

37:59

comes to them.

37:59

naturally and genetically, and they want

38:02

to pick the best person for them. That's

38:04

just the game. That's how it works, and we need

38:06

to understand it, and we need to become better at it.

38:09

So for very young men who

38:11

are listening to this, who feel

38:13

that, hey, you know what,

38:15

I'm not getting any matches or any dates and

38:17

stuff like that, I'm changing women. So what

38:19

do you suggest? Do you suggest that, hey, focus

38:22

on gathering the resources?

38:24

Because that's something that instinctively

38:26

women are looking at men who has resources,

38:29

and then you will get women. Is that what you? Well,

38:32

I think before you gather resources, become resourceful

38:34

first. So first, develop the internal

38:36

resources, your mindset, your perspectives,

38:39

your commitment to your mission, your

38:41

skill set, your competency,

38:44

your social status.

38:45

So those are the internal

38:47

resources you want to create first. Then you can go

38:49

and create external resources. Look, the

38:52

reality is women are, I find women to be incredibly

38:54

smart and intuitive and to, if a

38:56

man is internally resourceful, even if he

38:58

hasn't got external resources, women will

39:01

be with that guy in many cases because they

39:03

know that that resourcefulness will create resources

39:05

in the future. Whereas if you create resources without

39:07

creating resourcefulness, women, a

39:09

lot of women don't care about that. Or even if they care, even

39:12

if they care that you've got a big business and you're making

39:14

a ton of money, that's

39:15

the wrong reason for her to be attracted to you anyway. She's not

39:17

attracted to you. She's

39:19

settling with you because of the

39:21

fact that you're going to provide for her.

39:23

So I really strongly believe that the best way

39:26

that you can have some security in your relationship,

39:29

although nothing's ever guaranteed, is by becoming

39:31

a very resourceful man.

39:33

Then she will naturally be attracted

39:35

to that attribute. Then use that resourcefulness

39:38

to acquire resources. But work on that

39:40

first. Don't bypass that and go, well,

39:42

I'm going to just go and build a business and make a lot of money

39:44

and drive a nice car and I'll attract a

39:46

lot of women. Well, you're going to attract the wrong kinds of women. You're

39:48

not going to attract the kind of woman who is actually attracted to

39:50

you.

39:51

I will respect you. She's just settling

39:53

with you because you're providing for her. So be

39:55

careful. You know, men put themselves in

39:57

that situation by not working on themselves.

39:59

and by working on the external drivers,

40:02

work on the internal drivers of attraction. The

40:05

wonderful thing for a man is if you've taken care of your mindset,

40:07

your skill set, if you're becoming emotionally

40:09

intelligent, you're skilled, you're competent,

40:12

you'll create the resources anyway, right?

40:14

But don't create resources to attract women,

40:16

right? Build yourself and women are

40:18

naturally gravitated towards a man who's committed to his

40:20

mission.

40:21

Beautiful. So, you know, you mentioned about

40:24

polarity, right? So, and one of the things

40:26

that I love, you know, this is something I

40:28

guess Tony Robbins said that what's common

40:30

commonality between men

40:33

and women makes the relationship

40:35

work. And what makes

40:37

that relationship passionate is

40:40

the differences as a masculine

40:43

and feminine, as an energy, right? So let

40:46

me give you a situation. Imagine, you

40:48

know, a relation where the man

40:50

is at his masculine playing

40:53

at his best masculine and the women,

40:55

the woman in that relationship, she is at her,

40:58

you know, feminine energy.

41:00

What that relationship would like paint a picture for

41:03

us on what a very well balanced

41:05

masculine feminine relationship would

41:07

look like. What would that mean for the

41:09

sexual life or, you

41:11

know, other aspects of the life? Well, this is natural

41:13

selection at play. You don't need to apply any logic

41:15

here. You know, a masculine man

41:17

will automatically attract feminine women and vice versa,

41:20

right? And a masculine man will automatically

41:22

repel feminist women. Just

41:24

natural selection taking place, right? In fact, one

41:27

study recently found that more

41:29

attractive women were more likely to be right wing

41:31

and right wing women from a political orientation

41:33

point of view tend to be more conservative and traditional

41:35

in their perspectives. Left

41:37

wing women tend to be more intellectually based

41:40

and they question

41:43

tradition. And according to this research,

41:45

those women were less attractive.

41:47

For me, one of the issues is we

41:49

don't actually understand the difference between chemistry and compatibility.

41:52

A lot of men, without

41:54

even realising it, engage in

41:56

compatibility based behaviours that sometimes destroy

41:59

chemistry.

42:00

Because likeability

42:03

and attraction are two different things.

42:04

It is very possible, very

42:07

possible,

42:08

for a person to

42:11

not like a person, but be insanely

42:13

attracted to them. Okay, very possible.

42:16

So, you know, when I'm advising

42:18

men, I always say to them, look, don't prematurely

42:21

engage in compatibility behaviors.

42:23

Choose your mission, be a masculine man.

42:25

That will automatically create

42:26

chemistry with feminine women.

42:28

And then compatibility comes after. Don't prioritize

42:31

compatibility over chemistry.

42:33

It's a huge mistake. And this is a mistake

42:36

that men make quite frequently because they don't

42:38

understand the distinction. Yeah, so when you say compatibility,

42:40

you are saying that masculine feminine compatibility

42:43

first and then attraction.

42:45

Compatibility is all about alignment and values

42:48

and goals and dreams and vision. Forget about that

42:50

right now. If the attraction is not strong enough,

42:52

compatibility is not gonna keep you together. True. Right?

42:55

So what drives chemistry is

42:58

the polarity.

42:59

And you don't have to work on polarity.

43:01

This is not something you do strategically and logically,

43:04

you know, going, well, step number one, I'm gonna do this step number

43:06

two. No, no, no. You just allow your

43:08

instincts, your masculine instincts to

43:10

drive your urges. Like where you have a drive

43:13

to take, approach a woman, approach a woman. But

43:15

what you've got to do is you've got to combine that with emotional intelligence

43:17

and awareness. Don't be a pain. Don't

43:19

be somebody who's bothering people. Like have some

43:22

social skills.

43:24

But follow your instincts. If you want to build something, build

43:26

something. If you want to take a risk, take a risk. Do those

43:28

things. If you want to engage in physical combat

43:30

martial arts, do it.

43:31

It's gonna give you a testosterone surge.

43:34

Even approaching beautiful women will give you a

43:36

testosterone surge. Do it. But

43:38

just know that there is an emotional

43:40

element to it. Be emotionally aware, socially

43:42

aware.

43:43

Don't be an idiot, right? And

43:46

it's funny that in 2023, we still have to say that

43:48

because people don't actually, men don't understand this many

43:50

times. And women have this

43:52

idiot radar. They can just tell you don't

43:54

get it as a man. From a distance, she can,

43:57

even if she thinks you're amazing,

43:59

attraction wise, The moment you start to behave like

44:01

an idiot,

44:01

it kills the chemistry for women.

44:04

So be masculine, pursue

44:06

your thing, and feminine women

44:09

are naturally attracted towards that chemistry will take care

44:11

of itself. Once you've got sufficient chemistry,

44:14

then you can go to the next level and start

44:16

to determine whether you have compatibility in terms of

44:18

value alignment, goals alignment.

44:20

Do you want to buy the same type

44:22

of house? Do you want to raise your kids in the same way? Do

44:25

you want to believe in the same type of education? Do

44:27

you have the same family orientation? Do you have

44:29

the same work ethic? So that's about compatibility.

44:31

Because intellectualism drives

44:34

predominantly logical behaviors and

44:36

it doesn't acknowledge instinctive biology,

44:39

what an intellectual will do

44:41

is they'll work on the compatibility piece first,

44:44

not understanding the importance of chemistry.

44:47

And so that's kind of forced then. We're

44:49

forcing it. We're trying to, like

44:51

intellectual people have the need to incessantly control

44:54

every aspect of their life. So they'll try and control

44:56

the relationship as well.

44:57

And that's not a fun relationship. It's not a natural

44:59

relationship. It's very unnatural in many ways.

45:02

And I believe that in those types of relationship, the

45:04

incidence of divorce

45:05

and relationship breakdown is

45:07

quite high because the chemistry doesn't exist.

45:10

We're forcing it. Got it. So

45:13

now for any men after listening

45:15

to this, who might be thinking that, hey, you know

45:17

what, it seems like I'm more sort

45:20

of suppressing my masculine

45:22

self,

45:23

like my hunger, my drive

45:25

to go and do things and somewhere it's suppressed,

45:28

what should I do? Well, stop suppressing it. The

45:30

fact is that anyone that's asking

45:32

you to comply is not gonna reward you for those

45:34

compliance behaviors anyway. You might think that,

45:36

you know, I'm gonna please the woman by complying with her.

45:39

At a deep level, she's actually watching you and

45:41

she's seeing how quickly you give up your mission, how

45:43

quickly you give up your manly role. She's

45:45

watching it. And so over a period of time, without

45:47

even realizing it, she's gonna lose her respect for you because

45:50

it's so easy to get you to give up

45:52

your life mission and so easy to get you to give

45:54

up your own masculine functions. So don't give

45:56

it up,

45:56

prioritize that. You

45:59

know, and it's the same thing. for women, you know, nobody

46:01

should have to give up their values. Nobody should have to give

46:03

up their function that they have as a man

46:05

or a female. If you do, for

46:07

the sake of compatibility, you're going to suffer.

46:09

And when you're suffering, eventually you're going to resent your partner

46:12

anyway. You're going to resent them because they made you give

46:14

up your values, right?

46:16

So I also think that men need to be very conscious

46:18

of the fact that there is a natural decline in testosterone

46:21

levels. That affects our ability

46:23

to reproduce. That affects our ability to be masculine.

46:26

Keep an eye on those things. Do certain things, risk-taking

46:28

behaviors. I'm not saying stupid risk-taking

46:31

behaviors,

46:31

but you know, entrepreneurship is a risk-taking

46:34

behavior, investing is a risk-taking behavior, martial arts

46:36

is a risk-taking behavior, doing strength training is

46:38

risk-taking behavior. Engage in some of

46:40

those things. Go on some adventure. Don't be a

46:43

guy who just wants to sit behind

46:45

a computer, you know, on a desk in

46:47

a corporate company just making money and

46:49

trading stocks. It's just you're going

46:51

to find over a period of time, no matter how

46:53

much money you make, no matter what position you get, you're

46:56

not going to have that level of confidence to match

46:58

a guy who's out there taking risks.

47:00

You're going to actually feel inferior to him.

47:03

And if you look at some of the men, you know, who are

47:05

in the battlefield, some of the men on construction sites,

47:07

some of the men who are going through hardship,

47:09

they have a glow in their face. They have a level

47:11

of confidence that you have to earn.

47:13

You can't get that. External forces

47:15

are not going to give you that confidence. So be very

47:17

mindful of prematurely settling for

47:20

security and convenience and comfort,

47:22

because there is a case for how

47:24

some of those pursuits can

47:27

kill your natural masculine drive. So

47:30

just before this conversation, I was sitting

47:33

with, you know, some of the women in

47:35

our team, and I was telling them that,

47:37

hey, here's the thing. And this is again

47:39

the concept that I, you know, got from this

47:41

book. And I said, David, David's

47:44

book, that, hey,

47:45

has it happened that you have asked,

47:47

you know, the men that you are

47:49

dating to do something

47:50

and they did

47:53

it.

47:53

And then that turned you off because

47:56

instinctively, you were testing how strong this

47:59

man is.

47:59

and strong feminine women

48:02

do test their men

48:04

over and over again on how driven

48:07

they are with their missing, right? I think

48:09

so. I think women have to test

48:11

because women don't get,

48:14

can't get it wrong. The stakes are very high for women.

48:16

If they end up with the wrong person,

48:18

their biological clock is ticking.

48:21

So if they end up with the wrong person and they waste 10 years,

48:23

it

48:23

means it could literally impact

48:26

their whole lives. So a woman has to

48:28

get this decision right. The stakes

48:31

are very high for women when they get it wrong. For

48:33

men, not so much.

48:35

But for men, so that's why they have to test their

48:37

men over and over and over again. And

48:40

sometimes I'll say to men, you know, if you pass, if you

48:42

keep passing her test, you're failing as a man.

48:45

You're passing her tests, but you're failing your

48:47

test

48:48

as a man, right?

48:49

And this is what makes it a little bit complex

48:51

because she's testing you and you're testing

48:54

your compliance.

48:55

But a part of her is testing how

48:57

quickly you give up your natural

48:59

inclinations, how quickly you give up your

49:01

aspirations and your mission and your purpose.

49:03

And so what you're doing is trying

49:06

to please her,

49:07

but she's not just looking at that. A

49:09

part of her is observing

49:11

how confident you are in maintaining

49:13

standing your ground

49:15

because standing your ground is a characteristic

49:17

of strong leaders.

49:19

I mean, if you're going to give up your ground for her, you're going

49:21

to give up your ground for other people as well. And

49:23

so instinctively she knows that she may not realize

49:25

she knows it, but instinctively she knows it.

49:28

And so she will start to worry about the fact that

49:30

you're weak. You don't stand your ground. If you're not standing

49:32

your ground with her, you're going to stand your ground with other people

49:34

as well.

49:35

So this is where it gets complex. You know, something

49:37

that you think is intuitively going to lead

49:40

result in likability may actually lead

49:42

to killing the attraction between you and your partner

49:44

as a man.

49:45

So you have to really understand female

49:48

psychology and you have to understand polarity between

49:50

the genders and you have to understand the difference

49:52

between chemistry and compatibility. So you don't get it

49:54

wrong.

49:55

How does one find the balance?

49:58

Because you don't want to be somebody who.

51:59

for her and she's not attracted to him, then she is a gold

52:02

digger. But

52:05

if the fact that he can provide for her

52:07

is one of her criteria, but her main criteria is

52:09

still chemistry and compatibility, then she's not

52:11

a gold digger.

52:13

So it depends. It depends.

52:16

So the main thing for as a man you've

52:18

got to make sure is that you marry somebody who's

52:20

insanely attracted to you, but you

52:23

can't demand it. You can't expect it. You

52:26

have to be attractive first.

52:28

And when you're attractive, you'll naturally create that

52:30

chemistry. So work on yourself. Because

52:32

otherwise, if you try and bribe a woman

52:35

to date you and marry you

52:36

because you can provide for her, now

52:39

you've ended up with a woman who only

52:41

wants to provide her.

52:42

But does she think about

52:44

you? Does she fantasize about you or

52:46

does she fantasize about somebody else? And this is the big

52:48

thing you need to think about as a man. If

52:51

your man realizes that your woman is not loyal

52:53

to you, don't blame her. You bribed

52:55

her in the first place. In many cases you

52:57

bribed her

52:59

and then you begged her and you

53:01

pleaded to her. So she married you because

53:03

she felt bad. But that

53:05

her marrying you doesn't turn off

53:07

her instinct. She's

53:10

still looking for chemistry and attraction. And

53:12

if she doesn't find it with you, she'll find it somewhere else. Don't

53:15

blame her for that. You engaged in the wrong behaviors.

53:18

You, instead of working on chemistry and attraction, you

53:20

worked on being a provider and you bribed her.

53:22

What do you think you were going to get? Look, this

53:25

is not something that men want to hear, but this is the problem,

53:27

you see. Some of the things

53:29

that will result in our evolution

53:31

and make us stronger are

53:33

blunt truths that make us feel

53:35

very uncomfortable as well.

53:37

As a man, if you want to grow, you have to

53:39

have the ability to confront those brutal facts.

53:42

Otherwise you're not going to

53:43

grow. So don't be offended by what you're hearing.

53:45

Don't feel like, oh, you know what,

53:47

you know, I'm not responsible because the moment

53:49

you're abdicating responsibility and putting on her,

53:51

you're

53:52

also demonstrating that you're not strong enough and

53:54

responsible enough.

53:56

So I think that as men, if

53:58

we worked on the assumption...

53:59

that we create our

54:02

world,

54:03

whether we like it or not, we're creating our world, we are

54:05

responsible.

54:06

I think instead of

54:08

being disempowered, to me that's a very empowering

54:10

feeling. I'm in control,

54:11

so I did something wrong and that's why

54:13

she left me. You can,

54:16

there's no point enforcing it on her. You can't

54:18

enforce attraction, you can't enforce

54:20

respect. It is natural, it's either

54:22

there or it's not there. And if you

54:24

haven't earned it, you can't demand it. And

54:27

also the advice for the people then would be,

54:30

when you are in the stage of dating someone,

54:33

if you see that not happening, then don't,

54:35

no matter how much you would like for it to

54:38

work. Don't push it. Don't push it. It's just

54:40

bad luck, deal with it. I mean, how,

54:41

why are we so weak sometimes? Both men

54:43

and women can be very weak in this regard,

54:46

where we get so attached,

54:47

the signs are there. Instinctively,

54:50

intuitively, we know it's not working. The signs

54:52

are there, but then we force it, force it, force it.

54:54

And what we're doing is, we're putting dependence on another

54:56

person, we're putting pressure on another person. That kills the

54:58

attraction for both genders. Don't do it. It

55:01

should, in the beginning, it should feel effortless. It

55:03

should be fun.

55:04

If you're not naturally having fun, if you're not naturally dying

55:07

to see each other, if you're not naturally dying to touch each

55:09

other,

55:09

there is something wrong already, right? And then obviously

55:12

there's the next stage. That still doesn't fix the problem.

55:14

Chemistry is great, but then you've got to see if compatibility

55:16

is there.

55:17

So chemistry is fantastic for you to come

55:19

together. Compatibility is fantastic for you

55:21

to stay together.

55:22

Awesome. Such a great conversation. So

55:24

with what's going on in the world, like

55:27

in the East and in the West, in this

55:29

whole regard, what is your

55:31

general observation in terms of

55:33

the balance of masculine and feminine? I think

55:36

it's off balance completely. And I

55:38

think some balance needs to be restored, but I also think

55:40

it's the man's responsibility to restore that balance.

55:43

As men, we need to become better leaders, more mature,

55:45

stronger.

55:46

We need to be more masculine first. We

55:49

cannot expect

55:50

that the feminist movement,

55:52

there is definitely a version of feminist movement

55:54

that is toxic.

55:56

Just like there are toxic men, I'm not saying that

55:58

there are no toxic men out there. Men.

55:59

who are physically strong and masculine

56:02

but don't have any emotional awareness and spiritual intelligence

56:04

are definitely toxic. But

56:07

the answer is not to give up their masculinity.

56:09

The answer is to blend their masculinity with emotional

56:11

intelligence and spiritual awareness, which is what I said earlier.

56:14

But the feminist part of that is the

56:17

man-hating part. The

56:19

man-hating part, the need

56:21

to bring men down and

56:23

treat them as inferior beings and constantly

56:26

exert your superiority over men, that's not

56:28

on either. Because the thing, the very behavior

56:30

that you were criticizing in men, now you're practicing.

56:33

Some of these women are practicing the same behavior

56:35

that they criticized in men, now they're embracing.

56:38

So that's the double standard, right? That's not how you fix the

56:40

problem. Women have to be very careful as well

56:42

if they continue to engage in this type of extreme

56:45

conduct. Less than less men will

56:47

want to date them, less than less men will want to commit

56:49

to them, and less than less men are going

56:51

to embrace their masculinity.

56:53

So then women in the end are

56:55

going to be more disadvantaged because of this as well.

56:57

So we have to be very careful. It is a complex

57:00

issue. It is a contentious issue. It's a

57:02

controversial issue. I'm

57:03

not a master at this, but

57:06

I do know that this whole issue needs to be understood

57:08

well. We're here in 2023 and most

57:10

people don't understand the

57:12

dynamics of male and female

57:14

attraction, and that's a worry. And do

57:16

you think with all this, all the pressure and

57:18

the conversations that's going on at

57:20

mainstream

57:21

about this topic, do you

57:23

think women are less

57:26

and less, or maybe let me go to

57:28

that way, maybe declining

57:30

feminine women and declining masculine

57:32

men? Or do you think that

57:34

is a disadvantage? No, we think that. There's

57:37

a huge

57:38

section of demographic

57:40

where men are very feminine. They speak

57:42

like women, they talk like women, they dress

57:44

like women. And that's fine. Look, the thing

57:47

is though, you have to understand

57:48

if you leave a lot of feminine men together

57:51

on

57:51

an island, 100 years later,

57:54

you're

57:54

going to have no people there. If you leave a lot

57:56

of masculine women in

57:58

an island by themselves, you're not going to

57:59

people there. But if you leave masculine men and feminine women

58:02

together on an island, you're going to have, if you leave 100 people

58:04

there, you're going to have thousands of people after 100 years, right?

58:06

That's the difference.

58:07

So for the longevity of the human race, we

58:10

can't disregard these facts.

58:12

And we have to stop pretending that these things don't exist.

58:14

The polarity exists, the differences exist. It's

58:16

about how do we use it?

58:18

And look right now, you know, as I was saying, the hierarchy

58:20

used to be you've got God first, man first, then woman,

58:23

and then you got children, and then you got animals. It's

58:26

very common in the Western world for a woman to

58:28

live with a cat or a dog.

58:30

And the cat or the dog

58:32

has complete authority over the person.

58:35

So we've completely got it off balance now. So there is

58:37

no God in the picture. There is no man in the picture. Many times

58:39

there's no children in the picture. What you have is an

58:41

animal and the claim that, you know, my

58:43

dog or my cat is everything to me.

58:45

Right? So you have a single woman living with a

58:47

cat or a dog for her whole life, pretending,

58:51

telling her friends that she's very happy, friends

58:53

celebrating that kind of liberation and

58:55

freedom. But

58:56

is that what they truly want? Or are they deceiving

58:58

themselves?

58:59

You're going to get me in trouble. I'm

59:02

just asking the question. I'm just asking the questions.

59:05

I after being in this space, training

59:07

people for many years, one of the things I realized is people

59:09

are very good at self-deception.

59:11

When we don't want to confront the fact that makes us feel

59:13

bad,

59:14

we alter the fact to make ourselves feel

59:16

good. I'm not here to make

59:18

anyone feel bad. I'm just committed to the truth.

59:21

If it makes me feel bad, I must confront

59:23

it. My feelings are not as important as the

59:25

truth. If the truth makes me feel bad,

59:27

so be it. I have to deal with that.

59:29

I think we have to be very careful where we prioritize

59:31

our feelings over the truth. We will end up with

59:34

the culture, society and nation that is

59:36

devoid of wisdom because the only way to wisdom is

59:38

through the truth. What

59:39

are some of the questions that you want men

59:42

and women listening to this ask themselves?

59:44

I just

59:46

want them to think carefully. You know, one of the things

59:49

I feel is that

59:50

India's birth rate is high.

59:53

Whilst there are a lot of problems and the treatment

59:55

of women is not great, and men definitely

59:57

need to become better at

59:59

doing that. There needs to be systems and

1:00:03

policies in place to support women more,

1:00:05

empower women more. Absolutely.

1:00:07

But we have to be careful that we don't blindly follow

1:00:10

the West.

1:00:11

West has got a lot of things right, but they've also

1:00:13

got a lot of things wrong.

1:00:14

And we don't know if the feminist movement in

1:00:17

West

1:00:18

is going to yield positive outcomes in the long

1:00:20

term. So watch that space. Don't

1:00:22

blindly follow what the West is doing. Watch it

1:00:24

carefully. Make sure that

1:00:26

what is packaged as women's liberation

1:00:29

and women's

1:00:30

freedom is actually going to liberate

1:00:32

and free you.

1:00:33

For the men, I would say that, you know, be

1:00:35

very careful about buying

1:00:38

into the argument that gender

1:00:41

is a totally social construct.

1:00:44

It may not be. You may find that you are naturally

1:00:46

driven and naturally gravitate towards certain

1:00:48

things.

1:00:49

Understand masculinity. Discard

1:00:52

masculinity just because there

1:00:54

are toxic males who, you

1:00:56

know, abuse their masculinity.

1:00:58

The key is, as I said, combine

1:01:00

it with a level of emotional awareness

1:01:03

and spiritual awareness, and you'll find that

1:01:05

masculinity is a wonderful asset.

1:01:07

How do you define a free man? Well, a man that

1:01:09

basically is free of

1:01:12

pressures imposed upon him

1:01:14

through culture, religion,

1:01:17

society. He naturally wants to. He's

1:01:19

obligated by his

1:01:21

own desire to provide rather

1:01:23

than being forced to provide.

1:01:25

I also think a man who, for me, you know, it's about

1:01:27

having autonomy over my life decisions. I

1:01:29

don't want anyone to have

1:01:31

control over my time. I don't want anyone

1:01:33

having control over my decisions. I want

1:01:35

to be my own man. So

1:01:37

I think that that's important, but I also believe

1:01:40

that

1:01:40

what has enabled and facilitated

1:01:42

and contributed to my masculinity is

1:01:45

the embracing of spiritual principles and spiritual

1:01:47

laws, and understanding that as a man,

1:01:50

despite

1:01:51

some of the great powers that I have, I

1:01:53

still have areas of weakness,

1:01:56

and without spirituality, without

1:01:59

understanding.

1:01:59

Without having some faith in a higher infinite

1:02:02

power, I'm at risk of becoming egotistical myself.

1:02:05

So, as men become more successful,

1:02:07

naturally we become more power-orientated

1:02:10

and ego kicks in.

1:02:11

So to balance that, I think it's important

1:02:13

to always realize that there is something higher

1:02:15

and better above you. And that kind

1:02:18

of keeps you a little bit grounded.

1:02:20

What's your definition of an empowered

1:02:22

woman?

1:02:23

An empowered woman is a woman who chooses

1:02:25

her career decisions, her life partner

1:02:28

decisions, and she's feminine by choice,

1:02:30

rather than being forced to be feminine.

1:02:33

And I find that a lot of women are

1:02:35

happy and willing to

1:02:40

give up their authority to the right man. So

1:02:42

I think she has chosen it, hasn't been opposed

1:02:45

upon her.

1:02:45

And so allowing women to choose and

1:02:48

make that choice and living in that feminine

1:02:50

nature, but also being able to balance that with

1:02:54

living out their career aspirations. I think to me that's

1:02:56

an empowered woman, not somebody who is becoming

1:02:59

oppressive towards men.

1:03:01

All right. This has been such a great conversation,

1:03:03

Ron. Thank you so much for being on the podcast. Now,

1:03:05

any last parting message that you want to leave

1:03:08

for somebody who's listening to this podcast? Not

1:03:10

really. I mean, the only thing I would say is that before

1:03:12

you jump to conclusions, as people do many times

1:03:15

without hearing this out, without reflecting, what I

1:03:17

would suggest is that before you have a comment

1:03:19

or a question, just reflect on what I have said. I

1:03:22

have tried to provide a nuanced perspective. This

1:03:24

is not a black and white conversation. Very

1:03:27

few things at this level are completely black or white. Generally,

1:03:30

there are many areas

1:03:31

of gray, and it's just about understanding

1:03:33

what I've said. I'm not attacking masculinity.

1:03:36

I'm not attacking femininity. I'm just attacking

1:03:38

the extreme elements on both sides. And

1:03:41

there are extreme elements on both sides. The

1:03:43

reality is that as much as we can be critical

1:03:45

of religion and culture

1:03:47

and traditions, in many respects,

1:03:50

there have been very positive attributes of religion culture.

1:03:52

That's how the human race has progressed.

1:03:54

The human population has progressed because

1:03:56

of some of those rules. I think we have to be

1:03:58

careful not to...

1:03:59

discard all religion, culture,

1:04:03

and we have to be very careful, but at the same time we have to be

1:04:05

very careful that we don't embrace all elements either.

1:04:08

What we need to do is to objectively evaluate

1:04:10

the way culture and religion has been positive

1:04:12

for humanity and what are the elements that

1:04:14

need to be changed. Let's not completely replace

1:04:17

it, let's not completely embrace it. I

1:04:19

think we just need to be more critical in regards to

1:04:22

what we need to do next to evolve better as

1:04:24

the human race.

1:04:26

Awesome. Thank you so much for

1:04:28

sharing your perspective and I'm sure you

1:04:30

definitely have gotten me into trouble.

1:04:32

Not for somebody probably who

1:04:34

has watched this entire conversation, but for somebody

1:04:36

who would watch

1:04:39

some cuts and snippets on Instagram

1:04:42

for sure, be ready for some big paths. But I

1:04:44

think this was such an important

1:04:46

conversation to have. Like I said

1:04:48

in the beginning, when I got introduced to this

1:04:50

concept, it had changed a lot for me.

1:04:52

I started tapping into more

1:04:54

of my masculine drive

1:04:57

and said, hey, you know what, these were some of the things

1:04:59

that I was thinking that I was trying

1:05:02

to comply, but then, hey, this is not

1:05:04

what I truly feel. And I think that has fundamentally

1:05:07

shifted the way I communicate in a relationship.

1:05:09

That has fundamentally shifted that, hey, you know what,

1:05:11

this is what I really feel about it. Without

1:05:14

feeling the need that I need to please

1:05:17

somebody. And at the same time, conveying

1:05:20

that, hey, you know what, I mean, this is what I truly

1:05:22

feel and being secure in knowing

1:05:25

that even if I share my truth,

1:05:28

that

1:05:29

she's going to be with me. Having said this one more

1:05:31

part, Bijay, that I think I should mention, I do genuinely

1:05:34

believe that there are

1:05:35

men who feel they've been born in the wrong

1:05:37

body and women that feel like they've been born in

1:05:39

the wrong body.