0:01

If you're ready to feel

0:03

more connected and alive and

0:05

get tips, tools, and insights

0:07

on how to raise your

0:09

vibration and get what you

0:11

want and truly create your

0:13

best life, this episode is

0:15

gonna change your life today.

0:17

I am so glad you're

0:19

here for this incredible Part

0:21

3 episode with my dear

0:23

friend and now yours too,

0:25

founder and CEO of Bumble,

0:27

Whitney Wolf Hurd, who shares

0:29

stories and insights she's never

0:31

shared before. And she's sharing them

0:34

with you today, right here. Coming

0:36

up in this episode. What are

0:38

you afraid of? What are you afraid

0:40

of? What are you afraid of? I

0:42

think when you actually look fear in

0:44

the face and say, who are you? Who

0:47

are you? Like, who are

0:49

you? Fear? What's your name? Why

0:51

are you here? What are you

0:53

up to? I think it will

0:55

help people really understand what's holding

0:58

them back. You have gone out

1:00

of your way collectively to help

1:02

make the online world a safer

1:05

place. So I want to talk

1:07

about Dick Picks. Let's talk about

1:10

dick picks because... Very classy. This

1:12

is a real online issue. I

1:14

think I just heard a gasp

1:17

in the studio. This is a

1:19

real online issue. Women were just

1:21

getting spammed on the internet by

1:24

these unsolicited lewd images. If you

1:26

took your clothes off in the

1:28

streets, you're going to jail. You

1:30

cannot do that. It's against the

1:32

law. But for some reason we're

1:35

letting everybody do that online

1:37

and send it to teenagers. And

1:39

so we started this kind of

1:41

crusade to create a law. Wasn't

1:44

there even like one senator or

1:46

something that was like in trouble

1:48

for it? And it still passed

1:50

unanimously? Yes. Yes. Yes. Yeah. What

1:53

do people most get wrong when

1:55

they're looking for romantic relationships? I

1:57

think where people go wrong looking.

2:00

for Love Online is, I think

2:02

what you just said is the

2:04

most important thing for all of

2:07

us. I think we have fallen

2:09

out of love with falling in

2:11

love. I think we've fallen out

2:14

of love with ourselves. Yes, we

2:16

have. We are totally online, but

2:18

we are so offline. We're so

2:21

online. Technically online. So spiritually offline.

2:23

So spiritually offline. Totally totally offline.

2:25

Like we are unplugged. Yes. While

2:28

we are the most plugged in

2:30

ever. I just see the love

2:32

company being a force for helping

2:35

people learn to love love again.

2:37

Like how do we love again?

2:40

Love ourselves. Love our friends. Like

2:42

you said, you want to manifest

2:44

beautiful friendships. Like what is a

2:47

friendship rooted in love? I believe

2:49

we can only attract. the kind

2:51

of love that reflects the amount

2:54

we love ourselves. We only attract

2:56

the kind of friends we feel

2:58

worthy of, we only attract, we

3:01

don't reflect the level that we

3:03

love ourselves. We are all interconnected.

3:05

Yeah. We are all so much

3:08

more connected and so much more

3:10

loved than we realize. There are

3:13

these secret languages of the universe

3:15

that we can tap into. When

3:17

you think it's the end, it

3:20

might really just be at the

3:22

beginning. Thank you for having this

3:24

beautiful forum for women to come

3:27

together and learn and enhance and

3:29

elevate. You really are the embodiment

3:31

of worthiness. And I do have

3:34

to give Jamie a big shout

3:36

out. For those of you that

3:38

don't know Jamie personally, but feel

3:41

like you know her, Jamie is

3:43

the kindest person I've ever met.

3:45

You are always sincerely, so genuinely

3:48

kind to everyone and all around

3:50

you, deeply authentic and kind and

3:53

compassionate and you want the best

3:55

for people. Whether you're listening for

3:57

yourself or because someone that you

4:00

love shared this episode with you,

4:02

I wanna welcome you to the

4:04

Jamie Kern Lima Show podcast family.

4:07

Remember this episode is not just

4:09

for you and me, please share

4:11

this with every single person you

4:14

know because it can change their

4:16

life too. Jamie Kern Lima is

4:18

her name. Everybody needs Jamie Kern

4:21

Lima and their life. Jamie Kern

4:23

Lima. Jamie

4:26

you're so inspiring Jamie Kern Lima.

4:28

Whitney Wolf heard welcome to the

4:31

Jamie Kern Lima show. Thank you.

4:33

I'm so happy to be here

4:35

and we think a bumble and

4:37

this idea of make the first

4:40

move right make the first move

4:42

yeah you have made so many

4:44

first moves in your life in

4:46

in in so many areas of

4:49

your life and whether it's going

4:51

going for an idea or or

4:53

putting your voice out there or

4:55

with your companies and you know

4:58

how what do you say to

5:00

to to people listening right now

5:02

who are like oh I've never

5:04

made the first move whether it's

5:07

like to use example bumble going

5:09

on and saying I want to

5:11

make I want to make friends

5:13

as a adult or I think

5:16

I want to find a romantic

5:18

relationship or or I want to

5:20

ask someone to be my mentor

5:22

for the first time, or I'm

5:25

going to go mentor someone else.

5:27

Like how can I use all

5:29

the things I've gone through to

5:31

help someone else make it through

5:34

those things, right? So what do

5:36

you say to the person, though,

5:38

who's like, oh, Whitney, I don't

5:40

even know how to make the

5:42

first move or to be confident

5:44

enough to do that? I would

5:46

ask the following question. What are

5:48

you afraid of? And what's fascinating

5:50

is most people will tell you

5:52

they don't know what they're afraid

5:54

of. They're just afraid of whatever

5:57

they're afraid of and they don't

5:59

know what they are afraid of.

6:01

They're just afraid. And I think

6:03

when you actually look fear in

6:05

the face and say, who are

6:07

you? Like, who are you? Fear?

6:09

What's your name? Why are you

6:11

here? What are you up to?

6:13

I think it will help people

6:15

really understand what's holding them back.

6:17

Because we should get to know

6:19

the things we're afraid of. They

6:21

are there for a reason to

6:23

teach us something. And they're there

6:25

for us to communicate. And to

6:27

say. Okay, well I'm really, I'm

6:29

really afraid of getting rejected. Mm-hmm.

6:31

I'm really afraid of getting rejected.

6:33

Why? Have a conversation with it.

6:35

Why? Why are you afraid of

6:37

getting rejected? What's going to happen?

6:39

Well, if I get rejected, then

6:41

I'm going to feel unloved the

6:43

way I felt when I was

6:45

a kid. I don't know making

6:47

this up. Okay. Instead of just

6:49

going out there and me preaching

6:51

to a bunch of people saying

6:54

like make the first move just

6:56

do it just do it just

6:58

just dive dive dive maybe get

7:00

self go inward get a bit

7:02

self-reflective yeah and understand like why

7:04

don't you make the first move

7:06

is it because you were told

7:08

culturally that you shouldn't make the

7:10

first move but why yes and

7:12

I think that is a really

7:14

interesting moment for people in their

7:16

lives yes when they say I'm

7:18

stuck I can't get anything to

7:20

work I'm not going

7:22

to go move to that city.

7:24

I kind of want to move

7:27

to. Why not? Like, I think

7:29

people need to really have conversations

7:31

with themselves and understand what limitations

7:33

they're putting on themselves that are

7:36

holding them back. That's so good

7:38

from, oh, I'm afraid of rejection,

7:40

or, you know, afraid of people

7:43

might think, or, oh, myself, doubt,

7:45

or whatever. And then you're saying,

7:47

like, inquire about that. Yes. Well,

7:49

what is this rejection? because it

7:52

probably shrinks right after. Exactly. So

7:54

good. And you get to know

7:56

yourself better. Yeah. Yeah. Because that's

7:58

what this is all about. All

8:01

of us are just like on

8:03

a lifelong. journey of knowing ourselves,

8:05

right? And it's so funny, I'm

8:08

in the business of helping people

8:10

know other people. And I do

8:12

think our next horizon is really

8:14

about love in three ways. Self-love,

8:17

romantic love, and love of community

8:19

and friends. You know, with, I

8:21

want to make sure I don't

8:24

miss this part because I have

8:26

a couple questions I'm definitely going

8:28

to ask you, especially about. making

8:30

adult friends and about building connection

8:33

and things like that. But this,

8:35

we talk about the greater good.

8:37

You have... gone out

8:40

of your way collectively to help

8:42

make the online world a safer

8:44

place. So I want to talk

8:46

about Dick Pix. Let's talk about

8:48

Dick Pix because... Very classy. This

8:50

is a real online issue. I

8:52

think I just heard a gasp

8:54

in this studio. This is a

8:56

real online issue and I mean

8:59

it's wild in the sense of...

9:01

Well, first of all, I don't

9:03

really understand it. But some people

9:05

just think people just want this

9:07

unsolicited. I understand the people that

9:09

want them. OK, I get that.

9:11

But like all the unsolicited ones

9:13

where people just think this is

9:16

a good idea, don't get that.

9:18

But it is a real thing.

9:20

And it's a real thing. And

9:22

it's a thing in schools right

9:24

now. It's a thing where kids'

9:26

brains aren't even developed. And they

9:28

don't realize some of the stuff

9:30

can be permanent. You've done a

9:33

lot of work, you've gotten laws

9:35

passed, you've really, I want to

9:37

commend you for everything you've done

9:39

to help reduce the harassment of

9:41

people getting unsolicited, unsolicited, but that's

9:43

been a passion I think. Yeah.

9:45

Well, and listen, it all stemmed

9:47

from, again, we come back to

9:50

intention. Yeah. The intention was just

9:52

to create a kinder, safer space,

9:54

right? You created like an AI

9:56

tool that can accept them, right?

9:58

Yeah, so our team built something.

10:00

called private detector. It was an

10:02

AI tool. This was like, by

10:04

the way, we've been using AI

10:07

for so long, it's, you know,

10:09

obviously, it's progressed monumentally in the

10:11

last couple of years. But we

10:13

built a tool that essentially, when

10:15

someone sends an image to someone,

10:17

it essentially scans it for anything

10:19

that could be unsolicited or lewd.

10:21

So, you know, body parts. It's

10:23

very sophisticated. So with like 99%

10:26

accuracy, it will give you a

10:28

heads up not to open the

10:30

photo and it comes blurred so

10:32

that we kind of deter you

10:34

from looking at whatever that is.

10:36

And what I realized was we

10:38

can build all the tools in

10:40

the world, but it still wasn't

10:43

solving. the fact that there was

10:45

no consequences here. Like, I can

10:47

block and report these people, but

10:49

they're gonna go to another platform,

10:51

they're gonna go to another app,

10:53

and I'm not here to just

10:55

make Bumble Great, like I want

10:57

connecting to be healthier and safer

11:00

and kinder across the board. And

11:02

so we kept hearing in droves,

11:04

just negative negative feedback about how

11:06

women were just getting spammed on

11:08

the internet by these unsolicited lewd

11:10

lewd images. So I called up

11:12

a local legal... You

11:15

know someone in my network that

11:17

I'm very close to that's very

11:19

close to the the the legal

11:21

Kind of state of the world

11:24

in Texas and I said is

11:26

there a law for online indecent

11:28

exposure? So indecent exposure is a

11:30

law where you cannot go in

11:32

the street right now on Coast

11:34

Village Road and expose yourself if

11:37

you took your clothes off in

11:39

the streets you're going to jail

11:41

You cannot do that. It's against

11:43

the law, but for some reason

11:45

we're letting everybody do that online

11:47

and send it to teenagers and

11:50

in mass like this does not

11:52

feel right like how are we

11:54

not you know everybody is online

11:56

all day long how are we

11:58

not creating more accountable spaces And

12:00

I'm not saying I don't believe

12:03

in free speech. I'm not saying

12:05

I don't believe in using your

12:07

phone to, you know, navigate life

12:09

the way you want, but come

12:11

on. There's like decent behavior that

12:13

we uphold people to in the

12:16

real world, and that should be

12:18

mirrored on the internet. And that's

12:20

all. And so we started this

12:22

kind of crusade to create a

12:24

law, and we got it passed

12:27

100% unanimous yes vote in Texas.

12:29

So it became a law. I

12:31

signed it in with the governor.

12:33

And then we passed it in

12:35

California. We've passed in several other

12:37

states. And then, you know, this

12:40

year is big for a lot

12:42

of policy work we're going to

12:44

be putting out there into the

12:46

world to create safer relationships both

12:48

on and offline. Wasn't there even

12:50

like one senator or something that

12:53

was like in trouble for it?

12:55

And it still passed unanimously? Yes,

12:57

yes. Yeah, I mean are we

12:59

in a simulation perhaps? Really, yeah,

13:01

right? Progress. What are the best

13:03

tips for making friends as an

13:06

adult? I would say really... embracing

13:08

your true passions and your quirks.

13:10

So if you're like super into

13:12

making sourdough bread or like you've

13:14

taken up knitting or you're like

13:16

a super fanatic on majong or

13:19

or you know you've got like

13:21

some obsession with reading fantasy books

13:23

like own those things like those

13:25

are your passions those are your

13:27

hobbies. And there are other people

13:29

out there that love the same

13:32

things as you. You just have

13:34

to like find them. But how

13:36

can you find someone if you

13:38

don't put a signal out? Like

13:40

you can't be found if you

13:42

don't put a flag up or

13:45

use a flashlight or like put

13:47

a beacon out there. And so

13:49

I would say like shine your

13:51

light bright and make a bumble

13:53

for friends profile and like put

13:56

your whole self out there. Like

13:58

what are you in too? What

14:00

are you looking for? with astrology,

14:02

like just own it, like be

14:04

authentically you. And like your vibe

14:06

this is going to sound cheesy,

14:09

but like it attracts your tribe

14:11

like it really does So like

14:13

operate on your true frequency and

14:15

like you will be met where

14:17

you are like what you said

14:19

earlier For the person actually what

14:22

do people most get wrong when

14:24

they're looking for romantic Yeah, relationships.

14:26

I think where people go wrong

14:28

looking for love online is There

14:30

is so much more coming up

14:32

in this episode, you are not

14:35

going to want to miss it,

14:37

but first, I wanted to share

14:39

this with you. In life, you

14:41

don't sort the level of your

14:43

hopes and dreams, you stay stuck

14:45

at the level of your self-worth.

14:48

When you build your self-worth, you

14:50

change your entire life. And that's

14:52

exactly why I wrote my new

14:54

book, Worthy. How to believe you

14:56

are enough and transform your life

14:58

for you. If you have some

15:01

self-doubt to destroy and a destiny

15:03

to fulfill, worthy is for you.

15:05

In worthy, you'll learn proven tools

15:07

and simple steps that bring life-changing

15:09

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15:11

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15:14

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15:16

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15:18

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15:20

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15:22

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15:25

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15:27

and so much more. Are you

15:29

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15:31

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15:33

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15:35

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15:38

Get your copy of Worthy plus

15:40

some amazing thank you bonus gifts

15:42

for you at Worthybook.com or the

15:44

link in the show notes below.

15:46

Imagine what you do if you

15:48

fully believed in you. It's time.

15:51

to find out with Worthy. Imagine

15:53

what would you do if you

15:55

fully believed in you? My weekly

15:57

free inspirational newsletter is packed with

15:59

tips and tools to help you

16:01

find out. It's called One on

16:04

One with Jamie and it's delivered

16:06

right to your inbox each Tuesday

16:08

morning. It's a love letter from

16:10

me to you. from my soul

16:12

to yours. And I hope it

16:14

brings you the words and messages

16:17

you need at just the right

16:19

moment. Plus, when you're a part

16:21

of my free inspirational newsletter community,

16:23

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16:25

behind-the-scenes content, inspirational messages, and be

16:27

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16:30

events and more. It's the place

16:32

to be and I sure hope

16:34

you'll join me there. So if

16:36

you're not on the list yet,

16:38

you can sign up for free

16:41

at Jamiekurnlima.com or click the link

16:43

in the show notes below and

16:45

here's to becoming unstoppable together. And

16:47

now more of this incredible conversation

16:49

together. What do people most get

16:51

wrong when they're looking for romantic

16:54

relationships? I think where people go

16:56

wrong looking for love online is

16:58

they put out a version of

17:00

them they think other people want

17:02

to see. But they're so busy

17:04

trying to like impress somebody else

17:07

or do right for someone else

17:09

that they're actually not being authentic

17:11

to what they are. So it's

17:13

this like outward validation that they're

17:15

seeking. when in reality they should

17:17

just build a profile that is

17:20

deeply authentic to who they are,

17:22

because just like I said with

17:24

friends, you never know what that

17:26

special unique trait about you is.

17:28

You might call it a quirk.

17:30

You might consider it like your

17:33

own unique weirdness, whatever someone says

17:35

about themselves, but like that is

17:37

what... you're looking for in a

17:39

match. You want someone that gets

17:41

you, understands you, and appreciates you.

17:43

So I think how can you

17:46

expect people to have success online

17:48

if they're showing up not as

17:50

themselves? Like you have to be

17:52

you to attract what's good for

17:54

you. It's so hard I think

17:56

in this world where there's filters

17:59

and there's this and there's that

18:01

and we want to get a

18:03

bunch of people that like our

18:05

but all the things and then

18:07

you're just wasting your time because

18:10

someone's going to... There's like a

18:12

barrier of disconnection between you and

18:14

the other person if it's not

18:16

fully you. So then someone's interested,

18:18

but then it's not who you

18:20

are, and then it's a whole

18:23

just like cycle. Cycle. Cycle. That's

18:25

right. Mm-hmm. But you know what

18:27

I'm talking about? And this predates

18:29

online. Did you ever get into

18:31

a relationship where you felt like

18:33

you needed to impress the person?

18:36

And then you get into it?

18:38

You were true to yourself. Yes.

18:40

Again, intention is everything. Authenticity. So

18:42

full, real picture, all the things.

18:44

Be you. No filter. The right

18:46

person will love you. All the

18:49

quirks. And that's like, that's it.

18:51

The right person. Secret recipe. That's

18:53

it. The shortcut. As like, predictable

18:55

as it sounds. And as like,

18:57

be yourself. Yeah. Yeah. Be you.

18:59

It sounds that way. But no,

19:02

you know. Most people are not

19:04

that's right, right? So that's like

19:06

that's the big thing and what

19:08

are the keys to finding a

19:10

mentor? Oh goodness. I mean, you

19:12

know what I think is such

19:15

a great? Spirit of like mentorship

19:17

is godmothers here in our community.

19:19

Like what Jennifer and Victoria have

19:21

built with godmothers is so beautiful.

19:23

This like the spirit of like

19:25

the fairy godmother that is there

19:28

to have your back. So I

19:30

think with mentors, you know, it's

19:32

interesting. I would say, don't be

19:34

scared to put yourself out there.

19:36

Who cares? if the person doesn't

19:39

respond to the email. Email twice.

19:41

Email three times. And maybe they

19:43

never respond, but you know what?

19:45

You know what that mentor would

19:47

have told you to do? That.

19:49

So like by putting yourself out

19:52

there and pushing yourself, like you

19:54

actually kind of inadvertently mentor yourself

19:56

by trying to find a mentor,

19:58

you know? And I think mentorship

20:00

is so important. But I also,

20:02

here's the most important thing I

20:05

feel about mentors. I think people

20:07

have mentorship wrong. I think people

20:09

assume you can only learn. from

20:11

someone who has achieved more than

20:13

you. My greatest mentors in my

20:15

life have been the taxi cab

20:18

driver that picked me up at

20:20

the airport. The person that dropped

20:22

off a package. I tried to

20:24

learn something from every single person

20:26

I interact with. I'm telling you

20:28

it is one of the most

20:31

profound changes you'll ever have happened

20:33

to you in your life. I'm

20:35

sure you do the same, but

20:37

if I could give one piece

20:39

of advice to someone out there

20:41

just getting started. Learn from everyone.

20:44

Because they're the real people. They

20:46

are humanity. In the works. Now,

20:48

are they going to be able

20:50

to teach you how to do

20:52

a P&L? Maybe not. But that's

20:54

not what life is about. Like

20:57

we should be mentored on every

20:59

level. Humanity, kindness, graciousness, respect. Like

21:01

that deserves mentorship as well. Not

21:03

just how to build a company.

21:05

So I would say reframing mentorship

21:08

is really important. Today. This is

21:10

a master class. Like, this is,

21:12

this is, that's so profound in

21:14

terms of what you just said.

21:16

And also, I want to, I

21:18

want to highlight one thing because

21:21

this was so good, I almost

21:23

jumped out of my seat, because

21:25

so often, you know, we'll go,

21:27

we'll email someone, oh, you know,

21:29

hoping they might mentor us or

21:31

hoping there might be a connection.

21:34

And then we feel like we

21:36

don't hear back, and then we

21:38

give up, or we quit. And

21:40

what's so good about what you

21:42

just said, this is so good,

21:44

you guys. Because then you email,

21:47

if you email again, if you

21:49

email a third time and you

21:51

feel like, you know, ashamed of

21:53

it or whatever, you're still on

21:55

hearing back. I love

21:57

what Whitney just

22:00

said, which is,

22:02

yeah, but email

22:04

them again, and even again,

22:06

because that's actually what they would tell

22:08

you to do if they weren't meant

22:10

to hurt you. your muscle. That would

22:12

be their advice. Just keep going. Just

22:14

keep going. And I think that's so

22:16

brilliant. I want to ask you in

22:18

your life, and you just shared a

22:20

little bit about how you learned from everybody,

22:23

right? Because there's so many

22:25

areas of our life where we

22:27

can learn from and be

22:29

inspired. And what role do you

22:31

mentors, but also executive coaches,

22:33

therapists, all of it, play in

22:35

your life right now? Because

22:37

everyone's listening and wanting some of what you

22:39

got. So I'm not a big executive

22:42

coach, Gal. Not for me. No

22:44

shame if someone loves it. It's just not for

22:47

me. I

22:49

am completely on

22:51

board the therapy train. I think

22:53

it's even if it's just

22:55

an outlet to share your thoughts

22:57

and just to have somewhere

22:59

a safe space, I think it's

23:02

great. Journaling, I think is

23:04

also therapy. My most profound like

23:06

therapist, if you will, which is

23:08

not a therapist. And I'm sorry for calling

23:10

you this, Bob, but

23:12

the person that taught me

23:14

TM, transcendental meditation, Bob Roth,

23:17

he has totally changed

23:19

my life because he just

23:21

taught me how to go in. How

23:25

is that a practice you have now?

23:27

Every day, every day. Yeah. You

23:29

describe that for the person hearing about

23:31

TM or transcendental meditation, will you

23:33

describe what that is and like how

23:35

right now, what part of your day is

23:37

that? Yeah, it is probably the top five

23:39

most important parts of my entire life. Wow,

23:42

it's just 20 minutes in the morning and

23:44

20 minutes in the afternoon. It's free. You

23:46

don't need to do anything. You don't need

23:48

your phone. You don't need an app. You

23:50

don't need headphones. You don't need anything. You

23:52

sit silently with your feet on the ground.

23:54

Imagine that you close your eyes. And you

23:56

repeat your mantra, which anybody

23:59

can get a mantra. It's free on

24:01

the internet. You just get a

24:03

meditation teacher for free online. And

24:05

you sit silently, and you essentially

24:08

just calm your mind and go

24:10

inward for 20 minutes. It's like

24:12

the way I would explain it is, you

24:14

know, I'm also big on all sorts

24:17

of fitness, like physical fitness,

24:19

mental fitness, right? That's reading,

24:21

lots of reading, lots of

24:24

learning. It's spiritual fitness and it's

24:26

inner fitness. Like you have to

24:28

work your insides the same way

24:30

you work your outsides. And I think

24:32

you have to work in, not just

24:34

only work out. And I think that,

24:36

you know, you've got to create space,

24:38

that that beautiful space to think

24:41

and have clarity and just remember

24:43

that whatever is going on in

24:45

the day, it's okay. Like you

24:47

still can retreat to calm. and

24:49

to peace. How many times a

24:51

day do you meditate? Twice. Twice

24:53

every day. Yeah, 20 minutes. And

24:55

do you ever miss it? Yeah,

24:57

all the time. Yeah, you just

24:59

get back on track. You just

25:01

get back on track. You just

25:03

get back on track. It's like

25:05

someone that says they work out

25:07

a lot. Yeah. How many days a

25:09

week do you work out? Someone will

25:12

say, oh, four to five. Well, is there

25:14

ever a time where you don't need a

25:16

gym? You don't need running shoes?

25:18

You don't need sweat bands, you don't

25:21

need heart rate monitors, you just sit

25:23

there silently. You need something to

25:25

sit on. That's it. That's it. Can you do

25:27

it wrong? Nope. No. This is big because a

25:29

lot of people are like, I tried it and

25:31

I just do it wrong. Okay, so this is

25:34

my advice to the person that tried it and

25:36

did it wrong. You didn't do it wrong.

25:38

Just sit quietly for 20 minutes in

25:40

your own thoughts. there's no right or

25:42

wrong it's not like you're supposed to

25:44

start hearing like Elton John singing like

25:46

you know you don't like nothing happens

25:48

you just you hit you know actually

25:51

a lot does happen so because I've

25:53

been so consistent with it now when

25:55

I meditate I do go somewhere different like

25:57

I don't really feel my hands anymore I

25:59

like kind of leave my body

26:02

a little bit, which is

26:04

great because you kind of

26:06

go to a different part

26:08

of your brain. You kind

26:10

of sink into a different

26:12

like wave length. But if

26:14

you just stay exactly where

26:16

you are thinking about whatever

26:18

you're thinking, just let the

26:20

thoughts carry on. It's like

26:22

clouds in the sky. Clouds

26:24

in the sky, you just

26:26

let them pass and just

26:28

sit there. Give yourself space.

26:30

Do you find when you're

26:32

in Hawaii or you're in

26:34

Aspen? what what's your idea

26:36

I don't think it matters

26:38

where you are yeah I

26:40

think you just go to

26:42

your inner place yeah and

26:44

that's it this is okay

26:46

can I just tell you

26:48

this is so freaking great

26:50

is it I don't know

26:52

what my gosh to be

26:54

no I don't know what

26:56

we're doing it is already

26:58

okay so a few more

27:00

questions I don't want to

27:02

take up time saying this

27:04

I'll text you all about

27:06

this later okay um what

27:08

are three things you're manifesting

27:10

right now I am manifesting.

27:12

There's so much more coming

27:14

up in this episode. You

27:16

are not going to want

27:18

to miss it. But first,

27:20

I wanted to share this

27:22

with you. In life, you

27:24

don't sort the level of

27:26

your hopes and dreams. You

27:28

stay stuck at the level

27:30

of your self-worth. When you

27:32

build your self-worth, you change

27:34

your entire life. And that's

27:36

exactly why I wrote my

27:38

new book, Worthy. how to

27:40

believe you are enough and

27:42

transform your life for you.

27:44

If you have some self-doubt

27:46

to destroy and a destiny

27:48

to fulfill, worthy is for

27:50

you. In worthy, you'll learn

27:52

proven tools and simple steps

27:54

that bring life-changing results, like

27:56

how to get unstuck from

27:58

the things holding you back.

28:00

Build unshakable self-love. Unlearn the

28:02

lies that lead to self-doubt

28:04

and embrace the truths that

28:06

wake up worthiness. Overcome limiting

28:08

beliefs and imposter syndrome. and

28:10

achieve your hopes and dreams

28:12

by believing you are worthy

28:14

of them and so much

28:16

more. Are you ready to

28:18

unleash your greatness and step

28:20

into the person you were

28:22

born to be? Imagine a

28:24

life with zero self-doubt and

28:26

unshakable self-worth. Get your copy

28:28

of worthy plus some amazing

28:30

thank-you bonus gifts for you

28:32

at Worthy.com. Or the link

28:34

in the show notes below.

28:36

Imagine what you do if

28:38

you fully believed in you.

28:40

It's time to find out

28:42

with Worthy. Imagine what would

28:44

you do if you fully

28:46

believed in you? My weekly

28:48

free inspirational newsletter is packed

28:50

with tips and tools to

28:52

help you find out. It's

28:54

called One on One with

28:56

Jamie and it's delivered right

28:58

to your inbox each Tuesday

29:00

morning. It's a love letter

29:02

from me to you, from

29:04

my soul to yours. And

29:06

I hope it brings you

29:09

the words and messages you

29:11

need at just the right

29:13

moment. Plus when you're a

29:15

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29:17

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29:19

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29:21

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29:23

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29:25

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29:27

place to be and I

29:29

sure hope you'll join me

29:31

there. So if you're not

29:33

on the list yet, you

29:35

can sign up for free

29:37

at Jamiekurnlima.com or click the

29:39

link in the show notes

29:41

below and here's to becoming

29:43

unstoppable together. And now more

29:45

of this incredible conversation together.

29:47

What are three things you're

29:49

manifesting right now? I am

29:51

manifesting. The love company

29:53

which is bumble, but it's the

29:55

next iteration of it. I am

29:57

manifesting inner equanimity, just feeling at

30:00

peace with whatever happens. And I

30:02

don't mean like, oh, everything is

30:04

great. Bad things are going to

30:06

happen. All of us are going

30:09

to have rough patches. Our kids

30:11

are going to get booboos. And,

30:13

you know, pipes are going to

30:15

break. Whatever is going to happen.

30:17

But I really want to manifest

30:20

just making sure that my attitude

30:22

is everything. and carrying that through

30:24

with the team at Bumble and

30:26

being like a steady, a steady,

30:29

you know, a steady captain. And

30:31

then the other thing I'm manifesting

30:33

is, hmm, what else am I

30:35

manifesting? I'll think about that, I'll

30:38

tell you at the end. What

30:40

are you manifesting? I am manifesting

30:42

another baby. I love that. I

30:44

am manifesting really really really great

30:47

friendships. I love that. And I

30:49

am manifesting not getting distracted by

30:51

what I can do. That's like

30:53

a big shiny star rocket ship

30:56

taking off. And I'm doing, um,

30:58

Oprah said this best Whitney and

31:00

it's just been this thing in

31:02

my life. I feel like 2025.

31:05

all year, this is what I'm

31:07

going to be saying over and

31:09

over. Because my whole life, I've

31:11

told God what my dream is.

31:13

Like, okay, now I want this.

31:16

I'm going to make it cosmetics

31:18

the biggest makeup coming to the

31:20

country. And then I'm going to

31:22

change this many lives. I'm going

31:25

to donate this much money. Like

31:27

I was always telling him what

31:29

my dream is. And I'll never

31:31

forget on the show. She says,

31:34

the key is not telling God

31:36

what you want to necessarily manifest

31:38

or make happen. But the key

31:40

is asking God, what is the

31:43

dream you have for me? Right?

31:45

What is the dream you have

31:47

for me? And another way of

31:49

saying that is like, what was

31:52

I? created for? What am I

31:54

here to do? And so I

31:56

feel like in 2025 I'm manifesting

31:58

turning down the volume on the

32:00

parts of me that want to

32:03

build more rocket ships because they'll

32:05

help this many people and they'll

32:07

do that and all of a

32:09

sudden all my time's taken up

32:12

and also I'm burnt out which

32:14

is like my pattern and I

32:16

want to just figure out like

32:18

how to get still, how to

32:21

create space, how to ask out

32:23

what is the dream you have

32:25

for me, and trying to have

32:27

enough space to actually hear the

32:30

answer, and then live the answer.

32:32

That's beautiful. So that's so beautiful.

32:34

I'll tell you one crazy story

32:36

as it pertains to that, because

32:39

I think what you just said

32:41

is the most important thing for

32:43

all of us. I promise, this

32:45

is so wild, but... A

32:48

couple days before I was faced

32:50

with the concept of going back

32:53

in a CEO. I woke up

32:55

after my meditation, I was outside

32:57

in nature, and I literally looked

32:59

to the sky and I said,

33:02

in 2025, universe, God, whatever you

33:04

want to call it, right? Source,

33:06

use me for love and light.

33:08

Use me for my highest good.

33:10

I'm here to surf. You tell

33:13

me what I'm here to do

33:15

because I'm available like I'm for

33:17

hire Whatever it is not not

33:19

not for a job But you

33:22

know what I mean like I

33:24

want to be used for love

33:26

and light as a vessel as

33:28

a vehicle and I literally looked

33:31

up and I was like Please

33:33

use me this year like tell

33:35

me what to do Just use

33:37

me for love and light. That's

33:40

all I ask and then just

33:42

a couple days later this situation

33:44

where I was faced with, do

33:46

I go back? Do I not

33:48

go back? Unfolded. And it's, oh,

33:51

interesting. And I just immediately knew

33:53

the answer. Intuitively. I didn't think

33:55

I didn't think that was my

33:57

answer. I mean, too. prior I

34:00

wasn't thinking oh maybe I'll be

34:02

the CEO again that wasn't on

34:04

my mind yeah but that's that

34:06

whole notion of don't tell the

34:09

universe what you want necessarily you

34:11

can you can set a direction

34:13

in a tone and of course

34:15

it's great to have dreams and

34:18

visions but it's also nice to

34:20

throw the ball back and say

34:22

like okay I've had plenty of

34:24

manifesting and I've achieved all sorts

34:27

of things that I wanted to

34:29

achieve I think there's a higher

34:31

purpose here you tell me now

34:33

use me let me let me

34:35

via service. So I think what

34:38

Oprah said is profound and I

34:40

love that that's the way you're

34:42

living your 2025 out. You sing

34:44

Use me for Love and Light

34:47

and now you're calling Bumble the

34:49

Love Company and manifesting its next

34:51

iteration. What do you imagine that

34:53

looks like? I think we have

34:56

fallen out of love with falling

34:58

in love. I think we've fallen

35:00

out of love with ourselves. Yes,

35:02

we have. We are totally online,

35:05

but we are so offline. We're

35:07

so online. Technically online. So spiritually

35:09

offline. Totally offline. Like, we are

35:11

unplugged. Yes. While we are the

35:13

most plugged in ever. It's this

35:16

crazy, crazy, you know, comparison of

35:18

two forces, right? And I just

35:20

see the love company being a

35:22

force for helping people learn to

35:25

love, love again. Like how do

35:27

we love again? Love ourselves. Love

35:29

our friends. Like you said, you

35:31

want to manifest beautiful friendships. Like

35:34

what is a friendship rooted in

35:36

love? Not in, you know, oh,

35:38

well this, you know. This friend

35:40

makes sense to me because the

35:43

kids are the same age or

35:45

whatever. Like those are all wonderful

35:47

things. But what is the love-based

35:49

relationship? And then what is the

35:52

relationship we have with ourselves? Because

35:54

I don't know how I'm supposed

35:56

to put millions and millions of

35:58

people online via a profile as

36:00

hurt people looking to hurt other

36:03

people. Hurt people hurting people is

36:05

not the solution here. Yeah. Yeah.

36:07

So I think that's my duty.

36:09

Like I've got to go figure

36:12

out how to do some version

36:14

of this. And I don't have

36:16

all the answers, but... I've got

36:18

the compass in the direction and

36:21

I feel like I'm marching in

36:23

the right direction. Wait, this is

36:25

so huge. Why? I've been so

36:27

obsessed for years of studying self-worth

36:30

because I always got it wrong.

36:32

I always did all the things

36:34

to build confidence, but deep down

36:36

on the side, I didn't think

36:39

I was enough. I didn't actually

36:41

love myself innately. And when I

36:43

wrote Worthy, when 260,000 women showed

36:45

up live on it for the

36:47

launch event, and all the things,

36:50

you look at the data. 80%

36:52

of women don't believe they're enough,

36:54

like right now as we're sitting

36:56

here. And I am so excited

36:59

about what you just shared because

37:01

I feel like the need for

37:03

it, right? Because you can have

37:05

millions and millions and millions of

37:08

people, and yes, of course, celebrating

37:10

romantic relationships and connections and all

37:12

the things, but also I think

37:14

the biggest wide open space is

37:17

us also actually learning to feel

37:19

worthy ourselves. self-love not in the

37:21

narcissistic sense as you shared earlier

37:23

as you were talking about earlier

37:25

but like Actually believing were enough

37:28

because I believe we can only

37:30

attract the kind of love that

37:32

reflects the amount we love ourselves

37:34

Right so for me most of

37:37

my life. I was attracted to

37:39

dudes. I knew I was like

37:41

oh, they're bad boy. I'm trying

37:43

to they're just gonna hurt me

37:46

But that felt familiar to me.

37:48

Like, oh, I deserve it, though.

37:50

I deserve it. That's what I

37:52

need. That's what I need. That's

37:55

what I, that was what was

37:57

familiar. I don't deserve the nice

37:59

guy. Yeah. Yeah. And so the

38:01

thing I'm so excited about is

38:04

like imagining whatever that all of

38:06

the offerings bumble the love company

38:08

is going to have. but just

38:10

helping, helping heal humanity through love

38:12

and also through learning to love

38:15

themselves and to build self-worth. That's

38:17

huge, because we only attract the

38:19

kind of friends we feel worthy

38:21

of, we only attract, you know,

38:24

reflect the level that we love

38:26

ourselves, and that's so exciting. Okay.

38:29

I actually honestly genuinely put worthy

38:31

up there. It's really important. It's

38:33

really important. And when I think

38:35

about my favorite books, you know

38:38

what? It's a hard question to

38:40

answer, so I'll answer it in

38:42

a different way. What's the book

38:44

I've gifted the most? I'll answer

38:46

that. I've gifted the book signs

38:48

to hundreds of people. Yeah. Because

38:50

what it has taught me is

38:52

that we are all interconnected. Yeah.

38:54

We are all so much more

38:56

connected and so much more loved

38:58

than we realize. And what meets

39:01

the eye is not always like

39:03

the full picture. And there are

39:05

these, to use her literal tagline

39:07

on the front of the book,

39:09

there are these secret languages of

39:11

the universe that we can tap

39:13

into. And the reason why I

39:15

love the book signs is life's

39:17

hard. Yeah. Building businesses is not

39:19

for the faint of heart. Motherhood

39:21

is not for the faint of

39:24

heart. Nothing worth doing in life

39:26

is easy. And you've got to

39:28

believe in something bigger, right? You've

39:30

got to feel like the universe

39:32

has your back. And so I

39:34

would say like that's a book

39:36

I've gifted a lot. And then

39:38

one other that I would say

39:40

has been really transformational as it

39:42

pertains to business has been unreasonable

39:45

hospitality. I could never really put

39:47

my philosophy of how to treat

39:49

people like onto paper because I

39:51

always feel like I walked in

39:53

here today and I said that's

39:55

my favorite song and you said

39:57

I know. That's unreasonable hospitality. unreasonable

39:59

thoughtfulness, unreasonable kindness. Like. The quote

40:01

is, more true than anything I've

40:03

ever heard. It's like people will

40:05

truly forget what you said and

40:08

what you did, but they'll never

40:10

forget how you made them feel.

40:12

And what more beautiful thing in

40:14

life than to just leave someone

40:16

feeling better than you left them?

40:18

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. You are leaving so

40:20

many people feeling better than when

40:22

they started this episode. Oh God,

40:24

I hope so. Or they're terrified.

40:26

What is your greatest life lesson

40:28

learned so far. When

40:33

you think it's the end it

40:36

might really just be at the

40:38

beginning So never never think something's

40:40

over It's just the beginning of

40:43

a new thing I Think that

40:45

is really the best lesson. It's

40:47

like you if you zoom out

40:50

You're looking at this right you're

40:52

looking at this one little thing

40:54

and you're like oh gosh just

40:57

zoom out like zoom out. It's

40:59

the best lesson and you'll understand

41:01

perspective is everything Someone

41:04

needs to hear that today. I

41:06

know that for sure. Whitney, thank

41:08

you so much. Thank you, Jamie.

41:11

I love you. I'm grateful you're

41:13

here. I love you and bless

41:15

so many people today. Thank you

41:17

for your friendship. Thank you for

41:20

your leadership. Thank you for your

41:22

leadership. Thank you for your championship

41:24

of women and of connection. And

41:27

I am so excited to have

41:29

this beautiful forum. for women to

41:31

come together and learn and enhance

41:34

and elevate. You really are the

41:36

embodiment of worthiness and amazing energy.

41:38

And I'm just grateful to have

41:41

you as a friend and as

41:43

like a champion of all good

41:45

things in the world. And I

41:48

do have to give Jamie a

41:50

big shout out. For those of

41:52

you that don't know Jamie personally,

41:54

but feel like you know her,

41:57

Jamie is the kindest person I've

41:59

ever. met. You are always sincerely

42:01

so genuinely kind to everyone and

42:04

all around you, deeply, deeply

42:06

authentic and kind and compassionate,

42:08

and you want the best for

42:10

people. And I think that is

42:12

a beautiful thing. That is probably

42:14

the best life advice. It's just

42:16

want the best for everyone around

42:18

you. And you do that. You are

42:21

not a jealous person. You genuinely want

42:23

to uplift others. And that is a

42:25

beautiful thing. And it's giving you all

42:27

the success that you deserve. Yes,

42:30

because like you meaning the

42:32

vibration, right? The vibration. Thank

42:34

you. Thank you. Thank you. Remember this

42:37

episode is not just for you and

42:39

me, please share this with every single

42:41

person you know because it can change

42:43

their life too. If you love today's

42:46

episode, my only ask is if you

42:48

please click on the follow or subscribe

42:50

button for the show on your app,

42:53

give it a five-star rating or review,

42:55

and then share this episode with everyone

42:57

you believe in. Share it with another

42:59

person in your life who could benefit

43:02

from it. Post it and share it

43:04

with others online or in your

43:06

community who just might need the

43:08

words and tools and lessons and

43:10

inspiration in this episode today. You

43:13

never know whose life you're meant

43:15

to change today by sharing this

43:17

episode. And thank you so much

43:19

for joining me today. Before you

43:21

go, I want to share some

43:23

words with you that couldn't be

43:26

more true. You, right now. exactly

43:28

as you are, are enough and

43:30

fully worthy. You're worthy of your

43:32

greatest hopes, your wildest dreams, and

43:35

all the unconditional love in the

43:37

world, and it is an honor

43:39

to welcome you to each and

43:41

every episode of the Jamie Kern-Lima

43:44

show. Here, I hope you'll come

43:46

as you are. Heel where you

43:48

need, blossom what you choose. Journey

43:50

toward your calling and stay. as

43:53

long as you'd like, because you

43:55

belong here. You are worthy, you

43:57

are loved, you are love, I love

43:59

you. And I cannot wait to

44:01

join you on the next

44:03

episode of the Jamie Kernley

44:05

show. Do you struggle with

44:08

negative self-talk? Living with a

44:10

constant mental narrative that you're

44:12

not good enough is exhausting.

44:14

I know because I spent

44:16

most of my life in

44:18

that habit. The words you

44:20

say to yourself about yourself...

44:22

are so powerful and when

44:24

you learn to take control

44:26

over your self-talk it's life-changing

44:28

and I wanted to give

44:30

you a free resource that

44:32

I created for you if

44:34

this is something that could

44:36

benefit your life. It's called

44:38

five ways to overcome negative

44:40

self-talk and build self-love. and

44:42

it's a free how-to guide

44:44

to overcome that negative self-talk

44:46

to build confidence and develop

44:48

unshakable self-love so that you

44:50

can dream big and keep

44:52

going in the pursuit of

44:54

your goals. Don't let self-sabbataging

44:56

thoughts hinder your progress any

44:58

longer. It's time to rewrite

45:00

the script of your life

45:02

when filled with self-love, resilience

45:04

and unwavering belief. If you're

45:06

ready to take charge of

45:08

your narrative, build unwavering confidence

45:10

and empower yourself to persevere

45:12

on the path to your

45:14

dreams. You can grab your

45:16

free guide to stop overthinking

45:18

and learn to trust yourself

45:20

at JamieKernlima.com/resources or click the

45:22

link in the show notes

45:24

below. Who you spend time

45:26

around is so important as

45:28

energy is contagious. and so

45:30

is self-belief. And I'd love

45:32

to hang out with you

45:34

even more, especially if you

45:36

could use an extra dose

45:38

of inspiration, which is exactly

45:40

why I've created my free

45:42

weekly newsletter that's also a

45:44

love letter to you delivered

45:46

straight to your inbox from

45:48

me. If you haven't signed

45:50

up to make sure that

45:52

you get it each week,

45:54

just go to JamieKernlima.com. to

45:56

make sure you're on the

45:58

list, and you'll get your

46:00

one-on-one with Jamie Weekly newsletter

46:02

and get ready to believe

46:04

in you. If you're tired

46:06

of hearing the bad news

46:08

every single day and need

46:10

some inspiration, some tips, tools,

46:12

joy, and love hitting your

46:14

inbox, I'm your girl. Subscribe

46:17

at JamieKernlima.com or in the

46:19

link in the show notes.

46:21

I am so excited for

46:23

this book. You know what?

46:25

Because it's going to save

46:27

so many people. It's going

46:29

to say cool. Were the

46:31

your new beautiful book worthy?

46:33

Get this book? This book?

46:35

I'm telling you? It's a

46:37

book that can change anybody's

46:39

life who picks it up.

46:41

Anybody who's ever felt that

46:43

they were not good enough.

46:45

Didn't measure up. Something's missing

46:47

in your life. Not to

46:49

tell you. It's powerful. It's

46:51

happening. It's worth it. Imagine

46:53

what would you do if

46:55

you fully believed in you?

46:57

I went from struggling waitress

46:59

facing non-stop rejection to founder

47:01

of IT cosmetics, a billion

47:03

dollar company, by learning how

47:05

to overcome self-doubt and believe

47:07

I am worthy of my

47:09

hopes and dreams, and I'm

47:11

sharing how you can too

47:13

and my new book, Worthy,

47:15

how to believe you are

47:17

enough and transform your life.

47:19

If you're ready to truly

47:21

trust yourself and break through

47:23

that barrier of self, and

47:25

know that where you come

47:27

from or even where you

47:29

are right now doesn't determine

47:31

where you're going, then worthy

47:33

is for you. It's time

47:35

to go from doubting you're

47:37

enough to knowing you're enough.

47:39

It's time to step into

47:41

all of who you are

47:43

and into the person you

47:45

were born to be. And

47:47

it's time to believe that

47:49

you are worthy of it.

47:51

Because in life, we don't

47:53

become what we want. We

47:55

become what we believe we're...

47:57

worthy of. Join the worthy

47:59

movement today by grabbing your

48:01

copy of worthy anywhere books

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are sold and head to

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worthybook.com now for free gifts

48:07

including my five-part course on

48:09

becoming unstoppable and my 95-page

48:11

worthy workbook action plan that

48:13

teaches you how to implement

48:15

the tools from the book

48:17

into your real life right

48:19

now. Worthy is groundbreaking. Why

48:21

do you? You are worthy.

48:23

This book is going to

48:26

change lives. This book literally

48:28

will teach you how to

48:30

actually for worthy so that

48:32

you can have the strength.

48:34

You can have the confidence.

48:36

The lessons in this book

48:38

and the strategies will change

48:40

your life. You will never

48:42

be the same again after

48:44

you read this book. Jamie's

48:46

bookworthy is a must read.

48:48

It is going to inspire

48:50

you, empower you, give you

48:52

the hope that you need

48:54

and the kick in the

48:56

rear end that you... deserve.

48:58

Jamie's bookworthy is incredible. The

49:00

gifts are going away but

49:02

they're all free right now

49:04

on worthybook.com. It's such an

49:06

honor to share this podcast

49:08

together with you and please

49:10

note I'm not a licensed

49:12

therapist and this podcast is

49:14

not intended as a substitute

49:16

for the advice of a

49:18

physician professional coach psychotherapist or

49:20

other qualified professional.